> Who We Are > by Azure Sandora > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Who We Are > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Starlight, are you almost ready in there?” Trixie complained sitting on Starlight's bed. “Just a bit,” Starlight called out from her personal bathroom, “It's been a while, so I need to make sure everything looks right. Trixie sighed and fell back to lie on the bed. She wasn't used to Starlight taking so much time to get a look together. Then again, this was the first time she'd even been inside of her friend's room. She looked around a bit taking it in. For someone who tried to carry themselves in such a mature fashion, Starlight's room was a lot like what you'd find in a child’s room. Her bed had a few frilly pillows on it, her bookshelf had both spell books along with a number of familiar books for children, and of course hanging on the left wall was Starlight's kite. “You sure can learn a lot about a pony from what you see from their room,” Trixie muttered to herself, smiling as her eyes fell onto Starlight's mirror, which had taped to it pictures of all of Starlight's friends and… and, huh. Trixie frowned looking at the pictures, and then got up to look around a bit more. Oddly, she saw no pictures of Starlight's family anywhere. “Okay, so apparently you can learn a lot from what you don't see in their room as well,” Trixie said stroking her chin thoughtfully. She looked around a bit more, taking in her dear friend's room. Sure enough, there was no hint to what sort of life Starlight lived before coming to Ponyville. She never did go into her life before coming to Ponyville. Then again, neither did Trixie, for her own reasons of course. Thinking about that, Trixie walked over to Starlight's vanity mirror and looked at her reflection, taking in the mare before her. Trixie was so thankful for that reflection, and how everything came together. Her figure was curvy, not too thick, but with a decent bust line and nice ass and hips, accented perfectly by her long blue and white tail, and her matching mane fell alluringly over her shoulders and down her back. Nothing Trixie wore was simple, hence why even now she looked like she was ready for a magic show, wearing a blue and purple leotard that accentuated her breasts and complemented her blue coat, fishnet stockings, and blue high heels. Over top that she wore her long purple cape, and on her head was her matching witch's hat. She looked absolutely beautiful. She only wondered if she could trust Starlight with “that”. Sure, they had been friends for a while now, and Trixie had wrestled with the possibility of telling Starlight the truth about herself, but if she did, and Starlight didn't accept her… “Okay, I'm ready,” Starlight stepped into the room and averted her eyes blushing. Trixie turned to face Starlight about to say one thing, but her words were caught in her throat when she looked at Starlight. “Oh… my…” Trixie breathed out blushing. Starlight hadn't ever looked so beautiful or, right to Trixie since they met. Unlike Trixie's more extravagant attire, Starlight's was far simpler, consisting of a purple suit shirt, black tie, black tight skirt that stopped right under Starlight's on shapely hips and rear, dark sheer stockings, and black high heels. What really caught Trixie's attention though was Starlight's mane. Normally curled to the side a bit, right now it was simpler, the bangs straight and falling more naturally in front of her and the back of her mane tied in a high ponytail. “Was… that a good “oh my” or a bad one?” Starlight asked nervously. “You're so beautiful…” “Eh?!” Starlight looked at Trixie wide eyed. Trixie turned away laughing awkwardly. “I meant you LOOK beautiful! Gosh Starlight, don't read into things so much!” Trixie defended quickly. Starlight frowned a bit, but then shrugged, seeming to let it go. Trixie sighed in relief cursing herself inwardly. Watch yourself, Trixie! You haven't even told her your BIGGEST secret, don't play all of your cards so soon! “I'm glad that you like it,” Starlight said walking over to her mirror and gazing into her reflection, “It's been ages since I've actually liked the pony that I see looking back at me in the mirror.” That phrase caught Trixie's attention, “What do you mean, Starlight?” “I've spent the last year or so wearing such a different style, but if we're being honest, this is how I've always preferred to dress.” Starlight sighed sitting down at her vanity mirror and now applying her make-up, “Sadly this entire look is synonymous with the biggest shame of my life.” “I'm not sure I follow,” Trixie said folding her arms under her bosom and leaning against a wall. “Remember when I mentioned how I started a cult of ponies who didn't have Cutie Marks?” Starlight asked, “This is the mare that did it.” “Oh,” Trixie said, right before it hit her what Starligh was saying, “Oh!” she nodded, “I get it now. This is the way you dressed and presented yourself back then.” Starlight finished her make-up and then turned to Trixie, now wearing mascara and dark red lipstick, “Hello Beatrix Lulamoon, I'm Starlight Glimmer. The real Starlight Glimmer.” Trixie's heart was racing. Like this, she looked so lovely. So powerful and almost dominating, the sort of pony who could get you to believe anything. It wasn't just her new look though. Trixie's eyes landed on Starlight's, and she sensed such different emotions from Starlight. Different, and somewhat darker. “Well, if you ask me,” Trixie walked over to Starlight and turned her back around to face the mirror, looking at their shared reflection, “I think you look absolutely lovely, Starlight.” “But naturally, nowhere near as lovely as you, right?” Starlight asked with an eye roll. “Au contraire, Mademoiselle,” Trixie said in perfect Prench, “While the Great and Powerful Trixie is true beauty incarnate, she is only one example of beauty and perfection. You Starlight, are radiant in your own natural way, one that is so different than myself there is no comparison.” Starlight placed a hand on her chest, “Trixie, thank you so much. That's… the nicest thing anypony has said to me.” “Trixie only speaks the truth, these days,” Trixie said with a wink. Apart from the occasional white lie, Trixie swore to always be truthful about her achievements in public, making sure that now ponies could make a true distinction between the real Trixie and the character she played. Well, as much of the real Trixie that she was comfortable to show. Starlight giggled and then sat down on the bed, “By the Gods, I was a mess back then.” “If you don't mind me asking, why did you start that cult and then attack Sparkle?” Trixie sat down in the chair Starlight was in before resting her arms on the back of the chair relaxing. Starlight was silent for a few seconds before she spoke again. “Are you sure you want to know?” Starlight asked softly, “If I tell you, it might paint your opinion of me.” Trixie had to know now. She had to know and understand her friend. Could she risk it? Yeah, thinking about it, Starlight would understand that much, even if she didn't ever see Trixie in that way. “What if… I told you my biggest secret?” Trixie asked slowly, not meeting her friend's gaze, “Something no one in my current circle knows about.” “What, like how you once embarrassed yourself at one of your shows?” Starlight asked in an attempt to be jovial, stopping when she saw how serious Trixie's face was, and how afraid she seemed, “You're serious, aren't you?” all Trixie could do was nod, prompting Starlight to consider her words, “Alright, deal. You tell me your secret, and I'll tell you anything you want to know.” Trixie took a deep breath, “Moment of truth time,” Trixie sat up straighter and turned to the side away from Starlight, “I'm transgender.” she closed her eyes wincing, waiting for Starlight to shoot her down and turn her away. Starlight's eyes widened, “W-whoa. Okay, um, so you mean you were born…” “A… stallion, yes,” Trixie said slowly, “I'm post operation, have been so for years now,” she rose up and looked at herself in the mirror again, “I didn't start taking hormones until I was about fourteen, but deep down I always knew that I wasn't a boy emotionally. I used to hate looking at my reflection, but for a long time I just didn't know why.” she smiled looking over her curves, “These days though, I love the pony I see in the mirror.” “I… could never tell,” Starlight admitted, “There's nothing to indicate that you ever were a colt.” “I really took to the hormones,” Trixie said, “It helps that I was somewhat feminine even as a colt, and I started my hormone replacement therapy so early. I'd at least started hitting puberty, so other operations could be successful later on, but it was caught early enough where the hormones didn't have much of a fight.” “Is that why you carry yourself so…?” Starlight asked.  Trixie laughed. “It is,” Trixie said, “What ponies call arrogance, I call showing appreciation for the pony I am now. I'm happy with who I see, and I don't see a reason to hide it, and since I do look so feminine, I figure why not show off my curves? Since I have them now, you know? More or less all natural too,” “Seriously?” Starlight asked with a smile. “My Mother was really curvy, and the way HTR works is you end up developing in a manner similar to the mares in your life when going from male to female,” Trixie explained. “I'm not going to lie, you're not how I pictured a transgender mare would be,” Starlight said, “You seem way more, relaxed and not depressed.” “That's just a horrible stereotype pushed by ponies who don't get it,” Trixie waved it off jovially, “Also, I'm on the other side of my transition now. I don't carry myself as a transgender mare. I see myself as just a mare.” Starlight walked over to Trixie and hugged her from behind, “The way I see it, that's what you are,” Starlight said with a smile. Trixie's heart leaped out of her chest. “Y-you accept me?” Trixie asked Starlight. “Why wouldn't I accept you, Trixie? You're my best friend. Even if you weren't born a mare, the Trixie I met is a mare, so that's what matters to me.” Trixie couldn't hold back her smile as she turned around to embrace Starlight, “Oh thank you so much, Starlight!” Starlight laughed and hugged Trixie in return, “No problem Trixie,” Starlight said, her eyes closed as she took in the scent of Trixie's mane. Trixie released Starlight and sighed in relief, “That's a major load off my shoulders,” she noticed that Starlight was blushing, “Starlight, are you okay?” Starlight nodded, “Yeah, I'm alright. Just still reeling from that revelation, which honestly, just make you even more beautiful in my eyes.” “Now that you know what to appreciate,” Trixie said arrogantly, flipping her mane, “So, I told you my secret, so now you have to tell me yours.” Starlight took a deep breath, “Fair enough,” she walked over to her window, “So… why did I do it. Why did I form a cult, steal the Cutie Marks of an entire town of ponies, and later almost destroyed time and space. Well, in a sense, Sunburst is a major part of it.” “D-do you love him?” Trixie asked, trying to hide how nervous she was. “Not in that sense,” Starlight said, not knowing how relieved Trixie was, “But he was the only pony in my life for a long time who actually cared about me.” “W-what about your parents?” Trixie asked. “What parents?” Starlight asked, a dark expression on her face. Trixie slowly placed a hand over her mouth in shock. “You're… an orphan,” she realized. Now the picture thing made sense. Starlight nodded, “Know how you're one of the success stories for transgender mares? Well, I'm an example of the dark side of growing up in an orphanage. Sunburst was a neighborhood kid that played with me, and the closest thing I had to a big brother. Then he got his Cutie Mark and got shipped all the way to Canterlot.” “Didn't he write or anything?” Trixie asked softly. “Our village was really obscure, so not a lot of ponies knew where it was, making it hard to send letters there,” Starlight said, “Sadly, I never formed a connection with anypony after Sunburst.” “You… didn't get adopted, did you?” Trixie asked, her heart sinking when Starlight shook her head. “I ended up getting my Cutie Mark shortly afterward, and most ponies don't adopt a foal if he or she already has one,” she looked down at her hand making her Cutie Mark appear in her palm, “So not only did Cutie Marks take my only friend from me,” she tightened her fist, unable to hold in her tears any longer, “But they also prevented me from ever getting a family of my own. For years I was alone, and I figured that Cutie Marks were to blame.” “Hence why you got rid of pony's Cutie Marks in order to get close to them,” Trixie said, walking over to Starlight and embracing her from behind lovingly. “I didn't trust Cutie Marks anymore, and essentially felt that as long as Cutie Marks were a factor, I'd always be alone. So when Twilight came to me, and tried to convince me that Cutie Marks weren't the reason I was alone, I didn't want to hear it. As for why I tried to destroy time and space just to harm Twilight,” she leaned into Trixie's embrace but tensed up a bit, “I finally had what I thought were real connections with other ponies, and Twilight took all of that away from me, by giving the ponies back the Cutie Marks that I took from them. I was all alone again, and at the time I figured it was her fault.” “Oh Starlight…” Trixie said tightening the embrace as she felt Starlight begin to sob softly. “So there you have it!” Starlight cried, “That's the truth about me, and why I grew up alone, hating Cutie Marks for so long! I'm a terrible pony!” “No… no no,” Trixie protested, “That's not true at all, Starlight.” “I have to be one! I took the special talents of so many ponies, and even now I try to justify it! That's why I changed my image! So I wouldn't have to look at this monster every agai-” Trixie cut Starlight off by turning her around and pressing their lips together. Trixie had no idea why she did it, but something about this felt right. Starlight didn't move for the duration of the kiss, and when Trixie eventually broke it and looked into Starlight's eyes, her expression was one of pure surprise. “You have no idea how wrong that is, Starlight,” Trixie said softly, “You're not a terrible pony. You're a pony that was hurt. Life was just terribly unfair to you,” Trixie placed a hand on her chest, “I'm the worst pony, Starlight, because everything I did was of my own accord. I screwed up my life, despite being one of the lucky ones. What you went through isn't fair, and I'm sorry that because of it, you've been in pain for so long. But you're not alone anymore, Starlight. After all,” Trixie blushed averting her eyes, “You have… me.” “Trixie… you're a… lesbian?” Starlight asked slowly. “It's not as uncommon as you'd think,” Trixie explained hesitantly, “Sexual orientation and gender assignment aren't hand in hand, and even when I was a colt I was always attracted to-” this time, it was Starlight who kissed Trixie. They stayed together like that, actually wrapping their arms around each other and holding one another close. Eventually they broke the kiss and looked into each others eyes. “So… that happened.” Starlight said after a second. “Yeah. It did,” Trixie breathed out, caressing Starlight's face gently. “I guess, we're marefriends now, huh?” Starlight asked softly. “If you want us to be, yes,” Trixie smiled gently, “I'll never leave you alone again, Starlight.” “Trixie, thank you,” Starlight said embracing her friend, “I'm so happy that I showed you the real me.” “I'm happy that you accepted the real me,” Trixie said, returning the embrace. Now, at the very least these two could be their true selves around each other. Trixie was one of the lucky ones. Concerning Starlight, Trixie would make sure she never felt lonely again. Trixie would be her family from now on.