Pinkie Pie decided to become an Alicorn??? Jet engines check Zero point energy manipulator,... we still need to get that!
Pinkie Pie decided she wanted to become an Alicorn. Stage One. Pinkie needs to get her own wings. She already pre-ordered her brand new jet engines. Stage Two. Pinkie needs to get her own horn. Now, where would she get zero-point energy manipulator? Stage Three. Pinkie needs to amaze the Princesses with her own accomplishments. Stage Four. Pinkie needs to challenge Rainbow Dash to the race. Stage Five Pinkie wants to provide other ponies with medical care.
Pinkie Pie has been very excited. Just recently she ordered twin P320 custom-made jet engines. By custom-made, she meant that it was painted pink, has her cutie mark had been plastered on either side of it, and she made extra sure it would start spewing flames when somepony would engage the afterburners because they do that, they spew flames when they fly?
"Oh and almost forgot they also have a small #3 racing flag!" Pinkie opened the box and took out all of the parts. "Yes, parts!" She said with a hint of disappointment. "Assembly is required!" She then took the instructions and then beamed right back up "Hm! I am sure if this was Rainbow Dash story She would be like who the hey reads instructions, instructions are lame." Pinkie Pie paused for a second "I suppose if Twilight was in my place she would have been all over it." Pinkie Pie giggled, "But she already has wings! Hehehe, Celestia gives you wings!"
Pinkie Pie took out the small rectangular thingy and then snapped a few pictures. "Let me see, I think I can get away with this dilemma because of my photographic memory!" Pinkie Pie carefully looked over everything that's been written on the instructions and then stuffed it back inside the box. "There it's done, problem solved!"
Pinkie Pie made a short pause, "Now let's go and build that thing!" A few loud mechanical noises later and... "Tada! Fear me, not only I am now fast, but I am also fast when in the air!" On her back, she did have mounted jet engines, and now the only thing that's left is to test it. Pinkie Pie exited her own house and then started up her own engines.Bark! Bark! both engines whined started up spinning with a small audible buzz. Pinkie smiled because she just heard confirmation barks that signaled that engines started up normally.
The noise from the engines started to attract attention from other ponies. "Hey, How are you?"She waved her hooves to Carrot Top. She then noticed Lyra who was staring at her wide-eyed, "Hello, Lyra! How is your human fetish is going? Is your wife Bon Bon knows about it?" Lyra blushed in embarrassment and then just decided to look in another way.
"Let's see, press bite the biting mechanism once to engage the vertical take-off system, bite it twice to engage turbo, bite it three times to engage horizontal flying stabilizers!" Pinkie Pie quickly recited from memory. She then has bitten the mechanism three times in quick succession. After she done so her engines wined even louder, the force of the air forced Pinkie Pie to start running and then flew straight ahead.
"Weeeeh! This is fun! Weeeeh! Alright, how many times do I need to bite it to engage the autopilot mode? is it five or six?" She continued to do so until she saw a blur of rainbow passed few hundred meters near her trajectory. "Oh, so that's what the beeping warning noise that I started hearing in my head!" After a few seconds, the rainbow blur passed her again, and then the buzzing noise buzzed inside her head again
"Hey Pinkie Pie!" The Rainbow blur was just Rainbow Dash, flying at near of Mach 1 speeds. "Woah!" Rainbow noticed that Pinkie Pie had been flying with the help of her contraption. "Pinkie Pie what gives?"
"Ahem! Well I kind of thought that I have a bit of a surprise planned, but I guess you already caught me with my hooves down! So Surprise!"
"Cool! Cool!" Rainbow Dash stopped flying in the and started hoovering, which caused Pinkie Pie to star orbiting her in a very wide circle. "Sooo! What next?"
"Don't know!" Pinkie Pie shrugged "Do you want to race?"
"What? You against me! You can't even fly, Oh wait you can!" Rainbow Dash chuckled in the realization of her mistake. "Whoever flies to Twilight's castle is the fastest! Three! Two! One! I am the fastest!" Rainbow Dash quickly accelerated and then flew towards Twilight's castle.
"Meh!" Pinkie Pie shrugged off and then activated her afterburners and then started chasing Rainbow Dash "Hey Rainbow Dash!"
"What?"
"I have a better idea, fly faster!" Pinkie Pie yelled at her and then accelerated even faster.
"Pinkie Pie what the hey?" Rainbow Dash didn't want to lose so she pushed herself even faster.Both of them accelerated past Mach 1 speeds. Two sonic booms exploded in the sky. One exploded in the shockwave of rainbow colors, and the second one exploded in a soft pink.
Rainbow Dash completely forgot about the race and decelerated, she eventually slowed down and landed on the balcony, a few seconds later Pinkie Pie landed on the balcony. "Oh my gosh! that's the coolest thing ever"
"Yap! Oh, I almost forgot!" Pinkie Pie quickly deactivated her engines, which then responded with soft Bark! Bark! noise.
"I didn't know that Twilight had a dog!" Rainbow Dash was very confused by the sudden barking noise.
"Well, she doesn't! Its just my engines shutting down, and they do the same when I need to turn them on."
"Huh weird! Alright let's go and show Twilight what you've got!" both of them went downstairs and then just went straight to the main hall where they know Twilight had been doing her royal duties. "Hi, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash trotted straight to the table and sat down on her own crystal throne.
"Oh hi Rainbow Dash as you can see I am really busy! Princess Celestia requested my help, so I am kind of helping her!"
"Oh okay! Pinkie Pie and I were just hoping to show you something, but I guess we could just wait when you are available a\nd staff.
"I am glad that you understand! I promise it wouldn't take long."
"Yeah okay!"Rainbow Dash suddenly got a bright idea, "Oh I almost forgot do you want any help? I am sure that we can do this much faster if we could do this together!"
Twilight smiled, "Are you sure? That's a lot of boring paperwork I just don't want to bore you!"
Rainbow Dash nodded, "Yeah I am not afraid, besides we have Pinkie Pie here as well!"
"Well okay then, just remember that you volunteered!" Twilight levitated 0ne third of the paperwork in the direction of Rainbow Dash." Here you go, here is your portion of the work!"
Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie removed her jet engines and then jumped in her own chair "Alright I am ready!"
"Good! Here you go! Please enjoy!. Twilight levitated her own portion of paperwork "Um... both of you are please free ask any question if you find anything that is very confusing!"
"Okay! We will!" both of them replied back to her!
Several hours later Twilight and the girls had finished with the paperwork "Alright let's just go to the kitchen first and then I will see what the hey both of you wanted!"
"Sounds good!"
Twilight, Rainbow and Pinkie Pie went to the castle's kitchen, each of them took a small snack and then they came back to the main hall.
"So I've noticed that you started hiring ponies from the town?" Rainbow Dash asked Twilight a question.
"Well, I am pretty much got forced by Princess Celestia. Could you imagine that one day I woke up and one day there it was the squad of royal guards had been standing in front of my castle door? I've asked them what the hey do they want, and they just give me that letter!" Twilight levitated a letter from the table and give it to Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow looked at the letter and started reading out loud "Dear, Princess Twilight, it came to my attention that you ignored my advice to get a proper Castle security, so I am sending you your own personal security squad. I am also cutting your funding until you made sure to start hiring a castle staff. That's what is money is for after all.
"Okay, that's pretty harsh!"
Twilight sighed, no Its kind of my fault anyway! Could you imagine how easy it would have been if the security had been already present during the whole Starlight Glimmer's fiasco? For starters, she wouldn't even make past few corridors before she would have been tackled by the security. But enough about her, what is it did you wanted again?"
"Oh right! Show her Pinkie"
As if on queue Pinkie Pe jumped up, her own engines have already been equipped on either side "Twilight I've got myself wings!"
Twilight just stared at her, then she looked at Rainbow Dash for advisement which she was more than happy to provide
"It's true Twilight! She can fly now!"
"But its ridiculous! Pinkie doesn't even have wings to provide a proper lift."
Pinkie Pie pouted, "But Twilight I am like super light and those two engines just propel me forward, like this! She bit controller twice.
Rainbow's eyes widened "Pinkie Pie wait, don't do it!"
Bark! Bark! The engines started to spin and the blast of air pushed papers from the table. Pinkie Pie bit the controller again for at least ten seconds. Bark! Bark! and the engines stopped spinning. "Sorry about that, as you can see those jets are quite powerful. So I 've been thinking, do you think they will make me a Pony Princess?"
Pinkie Pie you are not an alicorn, besides you are still an earth pony for goodness sake!"
"Well tell me what it means to be an Alicorn, because what do you do? You are just a glorified pencil pusher! Do you want some magic, okay fine, I can create some sort of artificial horn that other ponies can use! Heck, we could even start providing medical care for unicorns with a broken horn, or something! I am sure they would really appreciate the opportunity! Or we could provide the opportunity of aided flight for pegasi with flying disabilities" Pinkie Pie started yelling at Twilight. "I am really sorry Twilight for yelling!"
Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight "Its true Twilight Scootaloo is handicapped!"
"But...but I thought she is just a late bloomer!"
"Twilight, if she is a late bloomer, then your niece is a super genius!"
Twilight gave up "Alright fine I'll see what I can do I will write Celestia a letter and I will see what she has to say! And if by chance you will receive n Alicorn enlightenment then I guess kudos to you Pinkie!"
Pinkie Pie visibly relaxed, "Thank you Twilight this is all that I ask!"
Dear Princess Celestia, or should I say, dear Celestia. No wait, that would be completely disrespectful. Even if you made it quite clear that both you and I are occupying the same station, and there is no need for me to refer to you by your proper title. Still, with all due respect, I would still really like it to refer to you by your proper title. So, without further delay...
Dear Princess Celestia, I am writing you this because I wish to inform you about Pinkie Pie's sudden request. The thing is she wants me to inform you that she wants to do scientific research about the pegasi flight, as well as, the biometric study of a unicorn's horn. Now where should I start, I suppose I should start from the very beginning, at one point I was sitting in the castle doing my paperwork. You know, the usual thing, that you have assigned to me.
So when I was sitting there doing things in my castle Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie came to me and offered their help. We managed to finish it way faster compared to the time it would have taken me to do it by myself.
After a while, all of us finished with paperwork. I don't really want to bore you with any of it, after all, you specifically requested to report everything.
So, my point is, Pinkie Pie invented jet engines. To be more specific she invented the portable version that everypony can use it on the individual basis. But if you are actually interested Pinkie Pie is willing to release the commercial version. The new mass transit system is finally going to phase out those dated coal trains that we are still using for some reason.
Why? I have no actual idea. We have diesel-electric trains running a route from Crystal Empire to Canterlot and back again. You would think that we would just retire that piece of junk!!!
Before I get off topic once again, let's continue talking about Pinkie Pie. Remember that Harmony Fund that you replaced a Royal Student Scholarship Program. The same one that you threatened to cut me off because you felt that I am not spending it on my personal security. So, anyway, turns out that Pinkie Pie has been using her portion of the fund to finance R&D of her little project.
Do you know what she said? She said, "Look at me Twilight I've got wings." But you know what else she said "Do you think if I one day will create an artificial horn, would they make me into pony princess? I swear in Princess Celestia's name I would be extremely dissatisfied if they didn't!"
Yours truly Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Dear, sigh, Princess Twilight Sparkle. First of all, I must inform you that if we to continue this conversation that I must insist on that you would just stop.
This isn't what I meant when I said that you should describe absolutely everything. Specifically, I was referring to the state of your finances of that infamous Harmony Fund.
You know it, as well as I do that those details, for example, like I've spent an entire day doing the paperwork and then my friends came and helped me finish it, that part it can honestly be skipped.
Now to the main point of my letter, hm, at least somepony is actually doing something productive with it. Unlike somepony I know that spends days upon days in the state of complete boredom cooped up in that castle of hers.
I mean would you just please step outside! For my own sake, you have not five but the whole dozen of friends. I've made way too many mistakes with my sister, as well as, with my ex-student Sunset Shimmer. The first one turned into brooding emo, and the second one threw a temper tantrum. I don't want you to end up going mad with power my little tyrannical overlord.
I don't need this right now, it's going to create a headache for me. Um, I just, I think I should just send an expert if you wish for this research to be pre-approved.
Yours mentor Princess Celestia.
Dear Princess Celestia, I will make sure to take your advice into consideration. Um, right, I am extremely happy to hear that you managed to pre-approve Pinkie Pie's new project. This isn't really my concern but if you actually going to ask for help just make sure to call us at 2300 Friendship Drive, Ponyvile Equestria. I am very confident that Starlight will help you with any issue that you might have.
Your tyrannical overlord Twilight Sparkle.
Former Princess Twilight Sparkle, currently redubbed herself as tyrannical overlord groaned. She really didn't want to re-read copies of twenty more letters. She had a feeling that by the timer she will finish reading the letter number twenty it's going to get worse and worse and snarkier as well. The most important thing of all she got what she wanted, she informed Princess Celestia of situation, and Celestia said she is going to send a bureaucrat
Twilight had been looking at Pinkie and Rainbow playing hangpony, at least they are having fun, maybe I should too.
"Twilight, I've been thinking do you remember how you wanted to study my Pinkie sense?"
"Yeah!"
"So like I want to do the same thing but like I want to attach all the wires to your wings and horn."
"Okay! Oh um, Pinkie Pie?"
Pinkie Pie nodded, "Yes Twilight I know I read all of your letters."
“Y-yea, I thought we already covered this!” Twilight had been helplessly hanging on the wheel in upside down position.
"Goody! Now we just pull this lever, and..." Pinkie pulled the wooden lever with a silver gem. Nothing happened. "Well, that's awkward," Pinkie Pie pulled the same exact switch multiple times, still with no result.
"Pinkie Pie you forgot the power supply unit."
"The what now?"
Twilight wanted to gesture to the vintage metal box right behind Pinkie, however, she was a bit tied up by Pinkie Pie herself. "Its a metal box right behind you."
"Oh, you mean this old thing?", Pinkie Pie turned around, her attention was at that box, her response raised an eyebrow from Twilight.
"I...I just like vintage technology, it's not because this thing was super cheap and Princess Celestia cut off my funding."
"If you say so," Pinkie Pie flipped a switch on the box "The most important thing is that I get to pull the lever, and I already did it ... but it didn't work out so I did it again ... and then again ... and again ... and again ...."
Pinke ... The lever please."
"Right, sorry, one last pull of the lever coming right up," Once again Pinkie Pie pulled a wooden lever with a silver crystal. This time around it worked, gentle humming noise of other machines spring up in the castle room.
It was silly actually, back in the day when Twilight still has her tree house her lab was in the basement, that's probably what saved all of that fancy expensive equipment when the tree exploded and the basement acted like a bunker. Now Twilight has an entirely separate room in a castle to house all of that equipment, and Twilight made sure that this particular room was an explosion proof, bullet proof, noise proof, and accident proof. As well as she made sure to install a temporal field that rolls back time by 24 hours, so even if they screw up, then at least nopony isn't going to die due to the massive explosion.
Several minutes the machine stopped humming and then started beeping signaling that it's finished recording the brain signals of a single alicorn princess.
“Say Twilight do you remember the changeling invasion?”
“Y-yeah,” Twilight answered as if she was unsure what exactly Pinkie was asking, in fact, she had no actual idea. “What are you suggesting? I mean, what are you trying to say?”
“Well, you see, the funny thing is…” Pinkie Pie trotted all the way to the blackboard and took the white chalk in her mouth. “Bleeh, Twilight do you really had to buy a blackboard, you do know that whiteboard is a thing now?”
“Pinkie what's that has to do with the wedding, or for that matter, I don't see how it’s going to be any better.“ Twilight swallowed, “I mean I just don't know, markers can be very addictive.”
“Well, okay then, I just thought I will give you an idea,” Pinkie Pie nodded, and then quickly sketched an image of herself holding Twilight by the neck with one hoof and spinning her tail, which then caused purple beams shooting out of Twilight’s horn.
“Um...”
“Do you see this, this is how much influential you have been back then, and that's was when you didn't sprout wings.” She then re-sketched Twilight as an alicorn in a standing position. “Now imagine the possibilities of an upgraded you.”
“Pinkie, I am not some kind of weapon system!” Twilight protested, she wanted to articulate her hooves but she couldn’t do that, she was currently tied up.”That was an emergency and you touched me in inappropriate ways.”
“So you aren't going to admit it… wait inappropriate?”
“Yes, you grabbed me by the tail...and...”
“You didn't say no, I just assumed that you were in the zone.”
“I … I ...I just can’t find words for that.”
“So you didn't enjoy it?”
“I didn’t say that Pinkie just makes sure to ask first before you do something like that again,” Twilight blushed.
“Speaking of weapon systems, I don't think I can imagine what you can do in your Alicorn state, in fact, all of us saw what you can do. Did I mentioned how you used your horn to create a super-powerful blast when Tirek went on the rampage.”
“That was...”
“Came on instinctively?”
“Maybe,” Twilight sounded a bit unsure of herself. “I don’t really know for sure. That beside the point, I was pumped full of extra magic from Celestia, Luna, and Credence. On my own I am really weak, I mean really have you seen what Starlight Glimmer can do. I analyzed all of what happened between us, and I still ain't so sure if she was just lucky that I never trained in combat magic.”
“You don't?”
“Not really,” Twilight shook her head. ”What gives you that idea?”
“You constantly fire particle beams from your horn, isn't that a combat magic application?”
Once again Twilight shook her head, this time in disappointment. “You mean that back then when I shot a laser beam at Starlight, but I missed so it cut a cloud in half,” Twilight eyes widened. “Dear Celestia I … I wouldn't have actually killed her, I mean that’s crazy. At one point I tried to stun her by encasing into the crystal."
"Is it, you feel threatened and instinctively you wanted to stop her at any cost," Pinkie Pie paused for an effect. "At any cost," she narrowed her eyes.
“No! Just no! I don't think that you realize is that so-called laser beams aren't a spell at all. Those are just a very basic form of energy manipulation affected by how much brute force you are applying.
“Think about it, what exactly happened when Flurry started sneezing? She released an uncontrolled beam of energy. Do you really think that she applied a spell theory every time she sneezed?”
Pinkie Pie thought for a second, “Well now that you mentioned, I don't really know I mean was she?”
Twilight shook her head, “Of course not, she is just a foal, she doesn't know what she is doing. So are you going to unlock it?” Twilight gestured at the release lever that was on the other side of the room.
"Oh right, I guess I could do that," Pinkie shrugs off and then trotted to the release lever and pulls it, several small clicks signified that it released the locks, and Twilight fell on her flunk. Pinkie Pie heard the sound, "Sorry, I should have warned you."
"That's okay," Twilight shook her head, she felt slightly dizzy from the fall," Say did you received all the necessary information for your magic emitter?"
Pinkie Pie blinked, "What? I ... um ... yes, I am. Say, is this a torture chamber or a science lab?"
Twilight stood up and trotted next to her, "its supposed to be a science lab."
"Aha," Pinkie Pie sounded very unconvinced.
"I am serious it is a lab," Twilight protested.
Pinkie waited until Twilight trotted all the way to the exit, "Oh I believe you Twilight, it's just my hoof doesn't" She pulled a green lever with the purple gem, which then caused to trigger the manual override of a time warp
Twilight blinked she was once again has been connected to the restraining wheel, she was pretty sure she was about to leave that place, however, she felt her head slightly fuzzy.
“Hi Twilight, this is your doctor Pinkie Pie talking, so how are you feeling?”
“I .. um … I am not sure, my head is a bit fuzzy and I am not sure why.”
Doctor Pinkie raised an eyebrow, “You are not sure, huh! What’s the last thing you remember?”
“The last thing? Don’t you remember Pinkie we were just started to discuss the fact that I never actually learned combat magic.”
“ Yes, that I believe we already covered this twenty thousand or so times.”
“Twenty thousand! What are you talking about?”
Doctor Pinkie trotted side to side “What I am talking about it's not really important, what's important is that I am doing a scientific experiment. So to clarify you don’t actually remember what happened after?”
Twilight was slightly confused “what happened after… Pinkie please, you are confusing me.”
Pinkie raised a recording device and started talking, “Trial number 645,534 the subject seems to not remember the temporal anomaly, however, she subconsciously tends to reject reality, by stating that her head seems to feel a bit fuzzy. Right, then I guess that's enough for today.”
Pinkie Pie trotted to the release lever and then pulled again, she once again heard Twilight falling down on her flunk. Once again she apologized and then heard Twilight dismissing her by saying that she doesn't technically mind.
"Once again Twilight I am really sorry for what happened right now, you might not remember it, but I did act out in a bit of creepy right now."
Twilight shrugged off, "No, no, it's fine. You are just you I guess," She then trotted next to the exit.
Doctor Pinkie raised the dictation machine to her face, "The subject seems to want to escape so she naturally gravitates to the exit."
"Um ... Pinkie Pie?"
"Yes, Twilight."
"This may sound a bit silly, but did you swap our brains or something?" Twilight blabbed out her question, she then noticed Pinkie Pie froze herself in fear, "Pinkie!"
"Uh ... I refuse to answer that question," Doctor Pinkie, or how she was known to her friends as Pinkie Pie dashed off from the Twilight's lab
Twilight sighed,"Well okay then, that was a bit weird."She trotted back to the lab, "What the hey am I doing? Maybe Pinkie is kind of right, the time warp wasn't the best idea. Uh ... my head ..."Twilight flinched, "I think I need some fresh air." Twilight slowly trotted outside, and then closed the door. She then turned around and screamed, "Gaaah!"
"Gee Twilight is everything alright?" Spike was right in front of her face and his sudden appearance spooked her.
"Oh I am sorry Spike I just spend so much time with Pinkie, and now I just need some fresh air ... I am not really sure ... I think it felt like several years in that room."
"So, Pinkie Pie," Spike scratched his head. "I think I saw her running away from the castle. When I tried to call her she yelled at me that she id not switched yours and hers brains with each other."
"Twilight nodded nervously, "Yeah that sounds like Pinkie Pie alright. Don't worry about her she will brood and then come back to us. More importantly, remind me to remove the temporal field from the lab at some point."
"Are you sure about that? I mean that sounds a bit dangerous."
"Absolutely positive, the system can be abused and Pinkie just demonstrated it to me in the most polite way she could do."
Spike made sure that Twilight was escorted to her office and then he continued to keep her company "So um I go and get some relaxing tea that Zecora happen to gift us."
"Yeah okay," Twilight nodded to Spike, relaxing sounded good at this point. "Did I ever told you a story about cupcakes?"
"Uh ... Twilight I am not really sure..." Spike started saying, however, Twilight interrupted him.
"Don't worry about it It's not really important, you don't want to hear it anyway ... Um, Spike?" Twilight looked around the room but Twilight couldn't see him, he already run away, "Traitor!" She just sighed and then let it go because she knew that he will eventually come back to her, all of them will.
She stood up, and then trotted next to her table, she took a quill and the parchment and started writing.
Dear, Princess Celestia, today I am writing to inform you that per Pinkie Pie's request both of us spent quite a while in my former basement laboratory, which was now simply called the grand laboratory.
While we managed to figure out how to create an artificial horn, I must say that it nearly took us ...
Twilight concentrated trying to remember the exact number, she happily nodded to herself when she did so.
It took us three hundred forty-three years thirty-two weeks, five days, sixteen hours and thirty-two minutes. I know the whole thing sounded like really ridiculous concept, since it took us this long to figure out the basics but hear me out.
You see I used a Time Warp spell that resets an environment by Twenty-four hours, the idea sounded like a great idea except that we need to make it so that we would somehow retain all of the knowledge that we are creating.
So Pinkie Pie was chosen to be a vessel. Which means that she would have to perform the manual reset every single day for nearly three hundred and forty years.
Sometimes we talked about the thing, sometimes about the other things. Sometimes I think that we pushed a bit too far out. Because from what I am starting to feel self-aware of. I could tell that Pinkie had been enjoying it less and less. I think that she simply felt sorry for both of us, so she just terminated an experiment.
At some point, she started to call herself Doctor Pinkie, and I really ain't so sure if she was using a medical title or a strictly academic title. I am pretty sure that in both cases she is more qualified for both of them by heart.
I have a feeling that the process of discovery isn't without its flaws. According to the, eh Doctor Pinkie my mental health had been slowly degrading every hundred or so cycles, past two hundred years or so.
I feel like I am starting to run out of the things to say, so I try to be brief, I am not really sure about the details of Pinkie Pie state of an Alicorn alignment, I simply forgot to ask. Another thing is I simply don't remember. This maybe sounds like a really crazy idea but maybe, just maybe Pinkie Pie managed to figure out how to mask her Alicorn state by simply pretending to be a simple earth pony.
It would certainly explain a lot of things about her, Pinkie Pie is, in fact, a Rogue Alicorn, no normal Earth Pony can do what she does on daily basis.
Right now I think I will take a simple Short vacation if you don't mind, just us and the girls. I suppose you and Luna are invited to. Yours, Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle.
“Are you sure about that?” asked Twilight Sparkle.
“Sure, I don't see why not,” replied Pinkie Pie.
Twilight flinched slightly the whole idea feels comfortable to her. “Well, I mean it's a bit too late now I just thought it would be too dangerous for a filly her age.”
“Nuh,” Pinkie Pie shook her head, “the equipment is very safe, I know so because I personally test it.”
Twilight was still very uneasy about it, “Yes, but that is you and that is her.”
The whole conversation started off because Twilight and the group just arrived in Canterlot for a royal presentation of an experimental project Alicorn.
The name was chosen by Twilight Sparkle for a reason, specifically because she plainly refused the name Cerapter which was suggested by Rainbow Dash who thought it would be damn cool.
Pinkie Pie rolled the dice and turns out that Scootaloo out of all ponies was chosen to be geared up, it wasn't that hard for Pinkie Pie to make sure that she would say yes.
”You are going to fly kid’’, That's all it took was six simple words.
“Princess Celestia would like to see you now,” out of nowhere the guard interrupted them.
“Aw, but I was going down the memory lane,” pouted Pinkie Pie.
Princess Twilight Sparkle sighed and then slightly pushed Pinkie Pie to keep her moving, “Come on let's just go and do it then,” She nodded to the royal guard that gestured for them to follow him.
Pinkie Pie shrugged off “The Royal Guard is a very traditional gender role for stallions,” She said to no one in particular.
Princess Twilight Sparkle raised an eyebrow, “While it's technically a true statement, but Pinkie to whom are you talking too?”
“Oh, to no one in particular. Um, so are we going outside then?
Princess Twilight frowned, “Well, technically yes, unless you want to completely trash the castle by creating a mess. Which would then will be very expensive. I am sure of it that nopony will get hurt, it's just that medical bills are going to be at the premium.”
“Oh, sorry, I suppose that makes sense,” Pinkie Pie glanced at her friend who only now started to scowl. “What I mean to say is that would certainly going to be bad.”
They continued to walk pass the corridors until they ended up in the courtyard of the castle where the small delegation of the entire royal family, as well as few Canterlot snobs, was also there.
Pinkie Pie once again glanced at Twilight and then noticed once again that the former continued to scowl.
“I said that out loud didn’t I?“
“Yes you did Pinkie,” Princess Twilight said with clenched teeth. “I am not sure if you didn't notice it yet but I am also part of Canterlot snobbish class.”
“Oh geez, I didn't mean it like that Twilight, you are actually one of the nicest ones. Also, why are you so upset anyway? I thought that you didn't care what they think about.”
Unfortunately, this didn't help her to ease the situation. “Oh come on Twilight, stop with the frowny face, pretty please!”
“It's amazing how the pink one keeps ignoring the protocol by refused, so uncouth.” Said the random Noble who happens to be a snob as well.
“Unfortunately as much as I don't like that either, Lady Pie have a certain, should I say privileges.”
Princess Twilight blinked and suddenly her very own harsh demeanor softened, “Prince Bluey, is that your voice I heard just now?”
“Uh, yes that would be me, I am a bit surprised because I wasn't sure if you snap out of yours, should I say hero worship. Isn’t that's why you became all moody of all of the sudden?”
“I am not moody, Bluey, Princess Celestia is very important to me, and it's just...”
“You are not going to be that grumpy grump just because of that, why wouldn't you tell me the real reason.”
Pinkie Pie had been listening to Prince Blueblood and Princess Twilight conversation until suddenly everything clicked inside of her head.
“Bluey? Are you two dating or something?” She asked both of them.
Prince Blueblood blushed that was a quite new reaction that Pinkie Pie would never have thought she would get from him.
“Honestly this is not any of your business Lady Pie, also please refer to me by my title next time.”
Princess Luna wasn’t having any of it, her patience was about to blow it, “That's quite enough from all of you, I really appreciate it that you would live your pity squabbles for a later time. For now, .let us do what we all came here for.”
Princess Celestia.sighed, “As much as it pains me to say this, I have to agree with you sister. Let the program code-named Alicorn commence.”
She paused, “Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie, let me make this absolutely clear did you or didn't you spent the last few days in the temporal quantum bubble?”
“That's correct your highness,” answered back Pinkie Pie.
“What exactly this temporal quantum entails?”
“It exactly what it sounds like, Your Highness, temporal quantum bubble wrap...”
“Excuse me?” Prince Blueblood interrupted her.
Pinkie Pie blinked, “What is it Prince Bluey?” It would seem that she just found lots of metaphorical ammunition for teasing them both if that deemed possible at the time.
Prince Blueblood just simply ignored her insolence, “Did you just said bubble wrap?”
“Yepperoni, this is what’s called a reference, which is no way a sequel,” she then winked one again.
“Pinkie I know what you are trying to do is to confuse everypony, can we please just move on. Princess Celestia, please continue with the procedure.”
“Right, I believe this explanation is satisfactory at what happened during the last, what was it, several days.”
Twilight’s ears perked up, “I am sorry, but did you said several days?”
“Yes Twilight, according to the reports, you and Pinkamena spend about several days isolated from outside world,” Princess Celestia pretended to shuffle the documents that Princess Twilight noticed were blank “And those reports were?” She asked her, shuffling hooves on the floor
“Luna show her the letters.”
“I guess I could do that, ”Princess Luna shrugged off and then teleported a pile of letters next to Twilight.”At first, everypony just assumed that you are just being you, only when everypony suddenly’ figure out that you aren't coming out from the castle only then your friends decided to take action. If you want I can even retell its contents Dear Princess Celestia... she started of speaking of from memory.
Almost immediately Twilight interrupted her, “No, no, that wouldn’t be necessary. I think I‘ve already got the picture. Princess Celestia, please continue...”
“Very well then, once everything was settled… then...” Princess Celestia once again pretended to shuffle blank documents. “I think it's then Pinkamena Diane Pie run away in her own house and I quote… Well actually I completely forgot what she said back then, let's just move on.”
“Well that was awkward,” by now Scootaloo starting to get a bit tired, but still endured because when it would be the time to start her presentation she knew that it would be worth it because it's going to be awesome.
“Maybe just a little bit. Hey Twilight why does Princess Celestia keeps referring to me by my name?”
“She had to because of bureaucracy, I think she already got bored enough that she starts to slip up so much that she forgets to insert your own title,” She whispered back.
“I have a title? Oh, wait I guess I do huh, I just thought Princess Celestia was trying to be polite.”
Twilight Sparkle cringed, “No she isn’t, I mean she kind of had to, I mean….”
“That's okay Twilight just calm down, I am only joking around.”
“I guess!”
Princess Luna had been listening to the outright ridiculous exchange between Lady Pie and Princess Twilight Sparkle, a former student of Princess Celestia. She sighed, “I really hate my job right now. Maybe our advisors were correct, and maybe we do have too many Princesses.”
“Did you said something?” Asked her Prince Blueblood who had been standing next to her
“It's nothing, I just thought that maybe we have...
“...too many Princesses?” He finished saying for her.
“Yes, well about that, I think that maybe I would officially demote you to Duke. You don't mind do you?”
*No, certainly not, I think it's a wonderful idea.Why don’t we continue to pay attention to the presentation.”
Princess Luna thought about it,”Yeah we probably should, even if it's going to get even more ridiculous at some point.”
“I've got to say you’ve finally changed your behavior Mr. Blood.”
“Eh, wouldn't be the first time I tried to scare away the overeager mare who was trying to get in my pants.”
“And you sure that was wise?”
“Probably no, probably no, but hey because I managed to present myself as the most unpleasant jerk around, almost everypony forgot I even existed. Kind of neat actually to be able to vanish into thin air.”
He chuckled, “On another hoof, I suppose I should thank Princess Twilight for putting up with such an insufferable jerk like me.”
“I think that's the story for another day, don't you agree Mr. Blood?”
“My father was Mister Blood, I am just Blood, but yeah sure let's leave it for another day.”
Meanwhile, Princess Celestia continued doing her own thing, at least tried to do so “Alright right now we are almost at the final stage Prime Minister Fancy Pants is the information presented by Lady Pinkamena Diane Pie was to your satisfaction?”
“Well yes, I suppose it does, none of us are enjoying but it needs to be documented for bureaucratic purposes.”
Princess Cadence glanced at both of them “I can't believe it, this ass kissing is going to take forever Pinkie Pie please continue with your presentation.”
Pinkie Pie trotted two steps forward and smiled “Ladies and Gentlecolts, so from all of us from the Friendship council I would like to personally show you my ass,” she turned around and shows to all that was present her ass, at the same time Duke Blueblood smirked and Princess Luna rolled her eyes. “Pinkie! No more jokes and no more distractions, this is a serious presentation that going to decide the next stage of your career!” Princess Twilight Sparkle wasn't really happy about that.
“What? I thought it was really funny!” Exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “Alright fine this is a real deal I present to you my craziest idea the biomechanical Alicorn tada, for the purposes to avoid legal scrutiny I state this right now we didn't choose this pony to represent The Alicorn Mark 1.0‘ because we want to demonstrate this piece of junk is completely safe to use, in fact, it's so safe that even the filly with the flight impairment can use it very well.
“That brings me to my other point, we didn’t choose this flight impaired filly, just because we feel sorry for her. The fact is that we choose her to specifically highlight the gear abilities. The fact is this little filly is very happy, she has a very active social life and one of her dreams was to receive a cutie mark, which she did eventually, not saying that she didn’t have any right too. It’s in the rights of every person inside of this nation to be whatever they want to be, Right okay good.”
Pinkie Pie paused,”So anyway as I was saying to avoid another political scrutiny this equipment should not be classified as an equipment of war, even though by effectively including it as the next big thing of armed forces we wouldn't appear weak to all others around us. Are you sure we don’t want to spread friendship by domination because of we kind of can?”
“No, no we do not,” quickly denied Princess Celestia, “We do not support the message of fear, supremacy and fascism, however, we are the worldwide empire based on trade friendship and happiness, we don’t want to provide anypony any reasons to demonize us, please continue.”
“Let's just agree to disagree that this gear is aimed for medical assistance, shall we?” Twilight smiled nervously.
“Exactly my point,” Pinkie Pie winked to Twilight, “That what I wanted to say next”.
“Just out of curiosity did you mentioned that this armor has combat abilities?” asked Princess Luna.
“Oh yes definitely, Scootaloo please provide the combat demonstration of Pulsar weapon systems.
“Sure thing,” nodded Scootaloo and then Twilight and Pinkie made sure that she had enough room to fire a projector beam weapon system known as Pulsar, a ten inch very thin horn attachment, so thin it was almost like a needle.
“Question?”
“Yeah!”
“I 've noticed that this horn has a very strange shape, however you are promoting it as medical equipment,” asked Fleur Dis Lee.
“I get what are you thinking, however, I assure you that the cough weapon system coughPulsar is a completely customizable piece of equipment.’” She then turned to Scootaloo and said to her, “Fire when ready.”
“Right, but at what?”
“Oh at that wall would probably be better, or maybe at the tree, what do you think Princess Celestia?”
“Well, I can repair a wall a lot quicker than I can regrow a tree, then again delivering new stones would probably take a time that depends thought if I can recover the debris. Pick a target at your discretion.”
“Very well then a tree would work for now. Fire a ten - twenty - thirty percent burst and then finish with one hundred and twenty percent blast.”
Almost immediately the three short pulses slammed against the wall on the castle grounds then after a short pause with the heavy whine, a powerful blast of energy slammed into the wall. The resulting explosion shook the ground.
Princess Celestia decided to ask a question, “Twilight tell me why such weapon was installed as part of the horn functionality?”
“I think I can explain that your highness, by studying natural abilities of Princess Twilight as well as her niece Princess Flurry Heart I’ve managed to determine the best course of action to include it as a feature of this magitech device and as you know Allcorns can be quite explosive.”
“Thank you Lady Pinkamena, I believe that would be all.”
