> A Heros's Sacrifice for the Elements
>  by ME ME BIG BOY
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deep within the crystal caverns of Canterlot, something ancient and powerful pulsed with power.

"What do you think it is, sister?" asked the regent of the moon to that of the sun as she observed the green stone and the pitch-black figure within.
----
Flashback three days ago
----

The archeologists had been working at a feverish rate for the past two days. A find of the century they had called it. A crystal unlike any that had been discovered before. Everypony had been excited. However, in the morning of the second day, one of the scientist pegisi’s pens dropped out of his coat pocket. As if in slow motion, he watched the writing utensil fall as it made contact with the crystal. Everypony watched in horror as a small crack started to spiderweb its way through the crystal’s structure, shattering it and revealing a dark green stone with the black figure in the middle it. That’s when the princesses were alerted and the Element of Harmony had been summoned once again along with a small detachment of hoof picked guards.

----
Present Time
----

"I don't know, Luna. But whatever it is, it’s quite powerful. It’s also feels as if it is watching us. You can sense it too yes?”

“Yes Tia. Whatever this creature of shadow is, I am afraid that the power that it radiates grows with each passing second.”

“What do ya reckon it is?” Applejack looked at the black figure with semi fearful eyes.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure we can handle it, right girls? I mean it’s not like we haven’t gone up against really powerful things before. Remember Discord?” said Rainbow Dash. They all shuddered at that memory. That hadn't been the best of times.

“I don’t know, Princess Celestia and Princess luna wouldn't have sent for the Elements of Harmony without reason. Whatever that thing is, I can feel waves of power coming off of it in droves.” Twilight and the rest of the ponies in the caves shuddered as another wave of power washed over them.

"I hope it’s friendly. Maybe it and my bear friend sir Reginald could be friends." Fluttershy squeaked in happiness, then she “eeped” and hid behind her hoofs and shrunk to the ground as a wave of rage and killer intent radiated from the shadowy creature.

"Or perhaps it is a brute. What kind of gentle colt has that amount of pent up anger?"

“Maybe it just needs a party. EVERYPONY loooovves parties,” Pinkie Pie, hyper as ever, supplied.

"Princess, we have the information you requested," said a guard as he ran up to the princesses and bowed quickly.

"So how old is it?" Luna asked.

"Well princess, to be honest, I'm thinking we found an ancient artifact here. Dr. Quantum Focus wasn't kidding when he said this thing was a fossil. It's got to be over a hundred million years old. Way before the great migration and way before the war of three races ma’am. It's the oldest… thing that anypony's ever found. It's priceless. iI nothing else, it could be used for a get-rich-quick scheme on the black market," replied the guard
.
The reactions of the two princesses and element bearers were entertaining for the guard , to say the least.

Luna was stuttering.

Celectia's mouth was gaping.

The rest of the element bearers’ mouths was hanging open with wide eyes.

"Uh… ma’am?" spoke the gaurd.

Luna was the first to snap out of her stupor. "Right, thank you for that. You can return to your post.

"Yes, ma’am!" replied the clone with a salute before walking back out of the chamber to his post.

“That’s old. That’s before the time of our mother and father’s ancestors Tia.”

Before celestia could respond the chamber shook violently. Whatever this thing it was, it was starting to wake up.

----
One hundred million years earlier
----

Uzumaki Naruto.

Seventh Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Hero of the Fourth Shinobi World War and savior of the world. The commander and general of the five armies in the nations of the elements. Host of the nine tailed demon fox. Guardian of the nine tailed beasts. The Legendary sage of the nine. Loving husband of Uzumaki Hinata, formaly Hyuuga Hinata, and father of two beautiful children Boruto and Himawari. Guardian the innocent and protector of the weak. The first and last line of defense and the first and last line of offense, both the shield and the sword. In a combat zone he had been the first one in and the last one out. The best bar none on the battlefield. The enemy taught their ninja to flee on sight, the stupid ones that did not follow that order were the first to fall. He was Uzumaki Naruto. He bowed to no man or woman, royal, noble, or other. You wanted his respect, you have to earn it just like all the others.

Had been sealed away for a very long time.

But before all of this, allow me, if you will, to tell you what had happened to the legend to allow him to be sealed in the first place.

An alliance of the five great nations of the elements. Fire, Wind, Earth, Water, and Lightning, and many smaller nations that put aside their differences for what was at stake. Humanity itself was in jeopardy.

A force of two hundred thousand shinobi, lead by one Uzumaki Naruto, marched to their doom.

Their opposition; an unknown enemy that was lead by one Ōtsutsuki Kawaki. He sought only one thing, power. They knew nothing but power. They did not eat, they did not sleep, they only destroyed. Many had fallen to defend what was precious.

Uchiha Sasuke had fallen when he avenged Sakura and Sarada’s death, his wife and dughter respectively. On his deathbed he gave Naruto the power of his eyes in hopes that he would protect his legacy better than he could.

All of his friends wanted revenge.

All nations, small and large, answered the clarion call to arms.

Victory, however, continued to elude them.

But not all hope was lost.

Now united, the armies marched with hope of a insane plan, a true hail mary if there was one. The plan was simple; Stall the enemy by any means necessary, while Naruto used the most forbidden sealing technique in the Uzumaki’s vast arsenal of Fūinjutsu. The force two hundred thousand strong now waited for Naruto to start speaking.

“Hina... I love you,” Naruto proclaimed, kissing her patiently, breaking the kiss and resting his forehead on hers. Hinata looked at her first and last love, her husband, her Naruto - kun. No other words needed to be said his family knew what was happening. Looking down at his children he knelt so that his towering 6‘ 4” body could meet their misty eyes. Embracing them, he told them what would happen in his absence.

Artillery had had begun shelling the enemy.

“Bourto... you’re now the man of the household. You will protect your mother and sister no matter what. Am I understood?” The 13 year old clutched his father tightly crying.

“Yes dad. I will protect them with my life. I swear it.”

“Hima- chan... listen to your mother and listen to your brother. Listen to you aunts and uncles as well. Eat everything on your plate drink your milk and grow up big and strong. Do I make myself clear.” Hinata was now silently weeping and their 7 year old daughter wailed with sorrow.

“Yes papa! I will be a good girl! I will do everything mommy and big brother tells me to do!” she wailed.

Lifting his children up, Naruto held them one last time, walking over to his wife and group hugged their last.

“It’s time Naruto - sama.” Shikamaru walked in on the very private moment.

“Right. Naruto, I will always love you.” SIlently weeping, she finished in a sad voice. “Forever.”

“And I will always love you until there are no days left." He completed, equally sad.

Steeling his voice, Naruto proclaimed, “Let us be rid of this blight to humanity.” He opened the flap to his tent to address the alliance.

Everyone waited with baited breath as to what he had to say.

“My people, sons and daughters of the nations of elements. On this day we take part in a monstrous undertaking.”

“Today, there will be no glory, no honor, no mercy, no quarter.”

Walking among the rank in file, they parted as their commander looked at humanity’s last hope. So many put on their best war face, but Naruto could see the terror behind their eyes.

“I can see it in your eyes, The same fear as i have in my heart. As to what the future holds in our darkest of hours.

“The enemy has taken so much from you. The enemy slew your sons, your daughters, your mothers and fathers, burned you homes and leaving with nothing but despair and suffering.

“A day may come when the sun sets for a final time and shrouds the world in darkness, brother turns on brother, and all bonds shatter.

“But not this day.” The sun started to peak over the horizon.

The defining artillery increased ten fold. As all canons began to fire at will.

“No, this day will go down in history as the day we stopped the the armies of darkness, and sent them back to the hell from whence they came.”

Stopping next to a young man and put his right hand on the boys shoulder he couldn't been older than 15.

"What is your name son?"

"Hoshi my lord, no surname" he responded, looking terrified.

"Everyone. this is Hoshi. He will most likely die today, as will we all.” The grim fact was not lost on the army.

Seeing this he started to rally them.

"Everyone look to your left.” They did. "Those are your brothers. Now look to the right." They did again. "Those are your sisters."

“Today we fight as one. We stand united, shoulder to shoulder with our brothers and sisters in arms. Think of the loved ones you fight for. Think of your mothers, your fathers, your brother and sisters.

"I ask you to buy me just five minutes to complete the sealing process that will drive the darkness away. Can you do that? Just five minutes?"
That sent the troops into a frenzy as one by one war cries emanated throughout the sea of soldiers.

“Uzumaki. Uzumaki. UZUMAKI! UZUMAKI! UZUMAKI!” The war chants continued to get louder and faster to a fevered pitch.

The army of darkness thundered closer.

Naruto walked to the front of the line. Everything started to slowed to a stand still as he walked past his friends, remembering how simple thing used to be, and looked to the horizon, at what was to be his final time watching a sunrise.

As he got into his position the horns sounded for the charge. A defining collective war cry of desperation, fury and rage was all he could hear as they all charged as one.

One thought ran through his head as he watched humanity’s last and greatest act of defiance as they charged at the angry god and his dark army.

‘Today, none of you will be forgotten.’

The fight began. Huge numbers of soldiers were cut down hundreds at a time in an attempt to buy five minutes.

When Naruto was finally ready, he statred weaving the hand signs ‘Snake - Boar - Ram - Rabbit - Dog - Rat - Bird - Horse - Snake.’ Clapping his hands together and slamming them down at his feet, he yelled, “Sealing jutsu: Consumption of All Things Impure!”

As the name suggests. a blinding light enveloped the entire battle field, devouring all that was impure.

A deafening screech from the armies of darkness was heard as the beams of light pierced the nightmares that had plagued humanity for months. The sound of ten million damned souls wailed as they were dragged to the darkest pits of hell.

Kawaki, in a final act of desperation, fired off one last jutsu at Naruto, the name of which could not be heard as it hit him with the final wrath of the angry god.

The armies of darkness were vanquished. Kawaki was finally defeated, but with heavy losses on the alliance.

As they grieved, they honored the fallen hero who was now encased in a green crystal, frozen in time, and buried so deep he would never to be seen again.

Or so they thought.

Thousands of Millennia passed before our hero’s prison was discovered, and he was about to return to a much changed world.
> Chapter 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

1000 years prior to present time

In his mindscape, the nine bijuu had gathered around their friend and guardian, knowing full well when he awakes, the information that everything that he has ever known is gone will overwhelm him..

The world had changed in such radical ways that the bijuu were still trying to comprehend how it all happened.

That’s a story for another time however as Naruto began to stir for the first time since his imprisonment.

Opening his eyes and blinking a few times to shake off the sleep, he awoke on a field of orange grass. Sitting upright and becoming more aware, he found out he wasn't on a field of orange grass, but on the back of his friend Kurama.

“It’s been awhile kit.” Kurama’s voice, once filled with so much hate, now sounded sympathetic.

“We thought you would never wake up Naruto-kun,” Matatabi, polite as ever, said to her friend. The other bijuus shared similar sympathies.

Living in Naruto's mindscape for such a long time made them absorb his chakra, eventually withering down a lot of the hatred and resentment towards him, replacing it with empathy and understanding.

“You guys are making it sound like it’s the end of the world or something… Oh god please don’t say I missed the apocalypse! I really wanted to kick some minions of hell asses. I mean I did it once, I can do it again, right? By the way, how is the army holding up?” Naruto asked while getting off his friend and standing on the floor of his mindscape.

They all looked hesitant to answer his question, but none the less the fox spoke.

Explaining and showing via the link they shared to him that it had been over a hundred million years since that fateful day. Telling him how humanity rose and fell as well telling as him that humanity as a whole was now extinct. In their stead, they were replaced with talking horses that controlled the weather, the sun and the moon, and everything in between.

Naruto couldn't believe this. Everything that he had worked so hard for. Fighting tooth and nail for all that he had, had been for nothing in the end. Finally breaking, hot tears of anger and frustration streamed down his face upon learning that he would never get to see Hinata again. Or walking down the aisle with Himawari giving his beautiful daughter away. See Boruto become a great ninja. Never getting to see or hold his grandkids and spoil them rotten. All of this had been anticipated by the nine as they tried to comfort him.

In time, slowly but surely, he learned to deal with the grief. After all, one thousand years is a long time.

0o0

Present time mindscape

“Man they really are bringing in the big guns huh? Look how they’re walling up,” Naruto commented on the sheer amount of guards now bulwarking around the two big horses with shields, spears, horns glowing and wings flared in defensive formations pointed at him.

“It’s not like you haven't tanked your way through something like this before,” Isobu said in a dull voice.

“Yeah I know, but this time there's a bunch of pastel colored horses,” Naruto dumbly noted.

“Kit are you implying that you’re afraid of pastel color horses? Please say yes. I need a good laugh at your expense.

“A: Your a dick.”

“And B: No I was just noticing how they’re protecting the two tall horses with crowns leading me to believe that they are the rulers of what ever nation this is now.”

“Anything else you want to point out? Maybe oh, I don’t know, like how the grass is green or the sky is blue or how about how water is really, really wet!?”

“FUCK YOU YOU OVERGROWN SHAG RUG WITH YOUR HUGE FUCKING BUNNY EARS!”

“OI FUCK YOU MEATBAG! YOU SAID THAT YOU'D NEVER MENTION THAT AGAIN!” Kurama screeched, now livid, and ready to throw down.

“BOYS CALM DOWN. DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO BACK HAND YOU!”

“Okay mooooom!” Naruto drew out the mom part as he knew she hated anything that suggested that she was old. She had insisted that he call her Matatabi-nee-chan. After all, she wasn't old. She’s simply ‘a refined lady.’ Matatabi’s left eye twitched and promptly lit Naruto on fire.

“OW OW OW! Fuck! Can’t you - OW - take a joke! Like, goddamn!”

“Say you're sorry and maybe i will relent!”

“NO! OW, FUCK THAT”S HOT!!!!”

“SAY IT!” she screamed.

“FIIIIINE! I”M SORRY THAT YOUR OLD MOOOM!” Matatabi roared at the insult. She was going to kill him if she had anything to say about it.

“As entertaining as this is, the time has come. The seal has weakened to the point where your physical body can break out. ” Gyuki the ox stated. That had stopped the bickering instantly.

“We will talk about that apology later,” the flaming cat ground out between gritted teeth.

“Fine, I will think of an appropriate apology when I have cooled my head.” Naruto meant that in both senses. It was literally on fire.

Patting his head and putting out the fire, he looked up at his fox friend who was trying and failing to hold his lighter in. The cat just gave the fox the stink eye and stomped off in a huff.

“Yeeeeah we got about, oh lets see, a minute or so left, so, I’ve gotta get this question out of my system… what about ramen?” Asked Naruto.

“What about ramen?” Kurama asked back.

“I mean… ist it still around?”

There was silence followed by a long pause.

“No..”

The reaction was instant as Naruto fell to the ground and started crying.

“Ramen-chan! I will avenge you!” he screamed out in anguish.

The nine bijuu sweat dropped at the tantrum.

Suddenly there was a flash of light and Naruto was gone.

“Dear Fate, Karma and Murphy... if you are listening, if you're up there, I just want you to know…  I hate you all,” Kurama lamented. The rest of the bijuu just hung their heads in embarrassment and shame.

0o0

Inside the cavern present time

The princesses, guards, and Elements of Harmony had gotten into position. The power coming off in waves started to drown them with overwhelming force.

“Battle mages get ready! Spearponys and Swordponys do not falter! Shield bearers guard their majesties with your lives. Form defensive lines,”  The commander of the guard started barking orders.

“YES SIR!” They yelled in affirmation, getting ready restain the creature or die in the process.

Luna and Celestia got into a defensive position in front of the girls.

“Here we go girls. Form up,” Twilight said in anticipation. The look on her friend faces were the same as hers; trying to be brave but ultimately scared. Except pinkie pie who wore a face splitting smile and was vibrating in what had to be Pinkie Pie’s ‘ultimate doozy pinkie sense.’

But something happened. Everything went still. The power was not radiating and the cavern was not shaking. Everything was quiet, too quiet. Then it happened

The green rocklike crystal cracked.

Everypony's eyes were now on the the green rock and dark figure within.

Their resolve did not waver, as several cracks started forming on the rock.

A chunk of rock fell, echoing as it hit the floor of the cavern.

A pair of eyes that were a golden orange that looked like a cross between a frog with slits down the middle opened suddenly.

The rock and crystal exploded outward with such force that it knocked everypony back in random directions. As they got back up, there it was.

The creature stood tall, and only on two legs. It was taller than even celestia by a half a head.

It’s skin was pale, it had a short blonde mane with whiskers on its face.

It was also wearing a short sleeve white cloak with red flames at the bottom and a high collar and a green vest with numerous pockets and a neck guard. It wore a black headband with a symbol on strip of metal that not even the princesses recognized. It also had on its lower waist a huge white scroll supported with a large red and white rope wrapped around said scroll and looked to be braided. It had black pants with wrappings around its lower back legs. It had black boot like sandals on it’s hooves as well. It even had foreleg bracers of some kind that stopped at its claw like appendages, the right of which looked hurt for it was wrapped in white bandages.

Both princesses could not help but feel intimidated this creature. This… thing was giving off such an oppressive aura of death, terror, rage, and darkness.

The creature suddenly grinned stupidly, chuckled, and cocked his head to the side, his aura instantly vanishing and replaced it with the aura of some kind of… powerless, harmless creature. It gave off an aura of love and kindness that rivaled the element of kindness herself.

Slowly the princesses walked toward him very cautiously, the guards parting so they could move through but still keeping an sharp eye and weapons trained on the creature.

Naruto looked at them with an interested look in his eyes as they approached.

Luna looked up at him. He was tall, very tall and very powerful if earlier was any indication, but  the one question on everypony's mind she had to ask.

“Ancient one, what are you?” she asked with a slight bow of her head. This creature was powerful and, more than likely, extremely dangerous. Why not try to gain its favor by extending an olive branch first so it would not harm her and her sisters subjects?

They all looked at the omnipotent creature. It stood still, forelegs crossed, and it’s tongue stuck in concentration with his eyes closed.

Naruto had not understood what she said, and then decided to nip this problem in the bud before it spiraled out of control. Opening his eyes, revealing purple ringed ones that were like ripples on the water, he looked at them with curious eyes.

“Īdesu ka (May I)?”

Reaching out to touch both the royal sisters, they all tensed up, ready to attack. The sisters horns flared as they begun to charge a powerful restraining spell.

Closing the distance with extreme caution, Naruto put his hands outward, showing them he had nothing in them.

A battle mage misfired, missing Naruto’s head by one inch, and blowing up a chunk the wall behind Naruto.

Then all hell broke lose. Every battle mage, soldier and even the elements, started to charge spells or charge with weapons, whichever they had, protecting their precious princesses who retreated behind the line in the process. As the they move in to apprehend the beast, with a golden flash, he vanished, nowhere to be seen. He was gone. Disappeared without a trace.

The princesess ordered a full lockdown of the castle and all guards to have a platoon guarding every entrance, exit, corridor, hallway, you name it, it was locked down.

After all the chaos and all guards were double timing all tasks, Celestia and Luna, along with the Elements of Harmony sat in Luna's chambers to protect them from whatever it was that was roaming the castle.

“He talked in an unknown tongue sister. What do you think he wanted, besides touching us?”

“He?” Twilight asked.

“Yes ‘he’. It had a deep voice like a stallion and it was tall with what looked like a very muscular physique not unlike a minotaur,” Celestia explained.

“Perhaps he is a precursor to their race? A missing link if you will?” Luna thought aloud.

“But what of the power? The eyes? Why did he want to touch you and everything inbetween?” Twilight started rattling of the questions everypony had on their mind.

That started a slew of questions that lasted quite awhile.

Unbeknownst to them in the shadows of an unseen corner on top of the the diarch of the moon's bedchambers ceiling, using the Tōton Jutsu (Transparency Jutsu), Naruto watched and listened to the unknown language and being unsuccessful at that. He looked to the midnight blue one with the moon on her ass. Blinking slowly, revealing Sasuke’s last gift to him, his Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan, he looked at her eyes he whispered, “Tsukuyomi (Moon Reader).”

0o0

It happened in an instant. One moment she had been in her chambers with her sister and the element bearers. Now she looked around and found that every color had been inverted. A strange negative world. Panicking as she heard a simple “hi,” she whipped around and saw the creature from the caves on a post crossing his back legs and resting his fore legs on his knees reading an orange book speaking in eqish.

“CREATURE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHERE AM I? I DEMAND THAT YOU RELEASE ME IMMEDIATELY!”

“YOU DON'T HAVE TO SCREAM FOR FUCK’S SAKE”!

A look of realization came over her face but was replaced by fury.

“Before you ask why I can speak your language now as opposed to back in that cave, save your breath. It wouldn't make sense to you even if I explained from very the beginning, like, the whole story would take years at least. Rest assured you are not in any danger and I am not a threat to you subjects. I just don’t like big crowds pointing sharp and pointy looking spears at me,” he explained.

“You have been very helpful in my endeavor to learn your language, which by the way, is very odd sounding. ‘Lolololollalalala.’” He rolled his tongue around getting used to the felling of a new language.

“And how do I know you aren’t just lying to me? I do not even know your name and you would have me trust you?!” She demanded answers.

“Haaa tell you what, I have been asleep for avery long time. If there is a balcony or an open space, I will talk to you and the rest of your friends there. We can cven be civil about it ya know? No pitchforks, no torches, no rioting, no violence.”

Luna pondered his request for a moment before relenting. “We can go to the castle gardens located in the east wing. You can’t miss it, a whole bunch of statues and the like and a gazebo in the center. I will be on the bench in the gazebo. How about that?”

“Sounds good,” he replied.

“One more question for now; Why did you ask for an ‘open space’?”

“I just want to enjoy gazing at the stars again.”

“He likes our Night?” She was confused. Most ponies did not stargaze or appreciate her work as they were all sleeping or doing other things that she would not mention.

Everything started to change back to normal. On the wind, she heard him say it.

“By the way, the name’s Naruto, Princess.”

One thing was for sure this, Naruto sounded like he was going to be a chore.
> Chapter 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Luna had returned to reality, she explained what had transpired to everypony present in her chambers, and Celestia was more than a little bit upset to say the least.

This creature, this… Naruto had somehow invaded her sister’s mind, transported her to a “photo negative world” as Luna put it, and absorbed Great Mother knows how much of information before settling with learning Eqish.

She, her sister, and the Elements of Harmony were trotting a brisk pace to where this they had agreed to meet him.

“We can go to the castle gardens located in the east wing. You can’t miss it, a whole bunch of statues and the like and a gazebo in the center. I will be on the bench in the gazebo. How about that?”

Celestia had a gut feeling that he couldn't be trusted, so she sent a group of guards to reinforce the area and report to her once they had confirmed that he was there but to not engage it and wait for her and Luna to arrive before they could proceed.

Luna had stated he did not want any violence,, he only wanted to be civil. She could respect that, and told her sister not to send any form of threat. Her sister had denied her once again and had gone ahead with this reinforcement plan.

Trotting at brisk pace through the corridors to the east wing to the castle gardens Luna tried to convince her elder sister why she thought this plan did not settle with her.

“Tia, I do not think you comprehend his abilities. He literally pulled me into a photo negative world , at least that's what I think he did. He did not outright say. I do not think he needed to…” she trailed off beginning to sweat.

“What was not outright said Lulu?” Celestia asked noticing her sister's distress.

“That he had absolute authority over that realm sister. He did not need to say it, but the feeling I got when I looked him in the eyes and felt his power…I felt like an ant afore a hoof sister, like he was the god of that realm.” She shuddered, remembering how small she felt compared to him.

They continued the back and forth conversation until they reached the gardens locating the gazebo easily enough. He was early, getting there before they did. That was unexpected. They also did not expect laughing and giggling coming from the gazebo as they got closer.
“You must be kidding me.  You painted three entire city blocks orange just to goad your leader into making her relax and hang out with you? Hehe, she must have been so mad.” Giggled an unknown figure.

“My lady, I assure you I am not making things up. Also, she started it. I was a prankster from hell in my childhood after all and she was actually thankful, she had like a week's worth of papers stacked up and needed a break. By the way, would you like any more tea my lady?” he asked while chuckling, grinning as he remembered the the pranks he pulled as a genin. There were too many good memories. Making the old hag angry was one of his favorite pastimes.

“Hehe, it sounds like it, and no thank you, but I appreciate the offer. Also, I have told you three times now. None of this ‘my lady’ stuff. Call me Derpy, all of my friends do.” The now identified mare grinned back.

“Very well. I don’t know why you insist on me calling you such a degrading name, but if you absolutely insist I will, Derpy.

“I do,” she simply stated.

Hearing the sound of multiple pairs of hooves he cut the conversation short, sealing the tea set away using the seal that was on his right upper shoulder in the shape of the Uzumaki clan spiral. With a *poof* the set was gone.

“Well this has been quite an amusing chat, but I believe you have a missive to deliver if I am not mistaken. Ahh, here comes your query now,” Naruto said, noticing the regalia of the two princesses, and noting there were six others with them as well, walking at brisk pace up to him and his new friend.

The tall white one did not look happy. The shorter but still tall midnight blue one had put on a stern face but, he could see the facade she put up.

The pink normal horse with poofy pink mane smiled at him so hard, he thought that she might rip her face in two.

‘Oh boy ,the funny farm is missing one of their patients.’

The cyan blue pegasus with a rainbow mane was glaring at him with determination.

‘Oh lovely, a tom boy with a huge ego.’

The butter yellow pegasus with a long flowing pink mane looked at him with happy eyes and a shy smile.

‘Huh, she doesn't seem so bad.’

The white unicorn that had a stylized purple mane looked at him. More precisely at his clothing.

‘Graet, a dvea.’ He did not like when he had been forced to go clothes shopping with Ino and Sakura because they said and he quoted, “You have too much orange!”

‘How does one have too much of the color of Kamai- sama himself!?’ he screamed internally.   

There was a orange regular pony with a blonde mane that had been tied in a low pony tail and a hat, looked at him with stern eyes.

‘A stenson? The hell is this backwards ass shit?’ 

If the vision that the nine showed him was anything to go by, a cowboy in the wild west wore them, not his horse.

Finally there was the purple unicorn with a pink streak that went through her mane. She looked curious, like a scientist ready to poke and prod him for answers.

‘I hate doctors and scientists that want to poke and prod me like i’m some sort of lab rat!’

Seeing them all approach, the grey pegasus bowed low in front of the two regal horses saying “princess” as she did so.

“Rise my little pony. It is late, you should be resting,” Celestia said.

Derpy got up, but before she left, she gave Naruto a piece of paper.

“If you're ever in Ponyville, look me up. It’s nice to have friends after all,” she said.

“Thank you Derpy. I think will take you up on that offer, but for now there are things that must be said. I believe that missive can wait for a few hours yes?”  he said while putting the piece of paper away in his black pants. Taking the hint, she gave one more quick bow and flew off into the night. Where she was going, he didn’t know.

Taking out a brown pipe out one of his numerous jacket pockets, he put his finger over the bowl and with a simple Katon release lit it. Puffing slowly he sighed, enjoying the feeling inhaling and exhaling the toxic clouds of ash.

“Sorry if I’m early, but if there’s one thing I've learned quite painfully as the information had been beaten into my head about women is that it’s all about living like it’s thirty minutes early even if she is late by five or ten. ‘Never keep a lady waiting,’ Sakura-chan would say to me, before punching my face.”

“So, who wants to start?” he asked puffing again making him look like a dragon when he exhaled.

A long pause and silence followed.

The white princess was not happy.

“Where are my guards creature?” she demanded.

“Some over there, a lot over there, aaannd oh, two more right over there.”

Their whipped their heads around to see twenty guards on the ground asleep in various locations.

“Thought you said we would be civil, and not resort to violence, but there they are. Oh don’t worry, I only put them to sleep. They’ll wake up in two hours with no ill effects. By the way, my name's not ‘creature’, it’s Naruto,” he calmly explained

“You pull my sister into an unknown world, assault my guards, and then you expect me not to arrest you for your crimes?! You’re insane! You are a threat!” she yelled, barely containing her anger.

A loud exasperated sigh came from his mouth. Cleaning out the bowl of his pipe and putting it  away into one of his vest pockets, he pulled out a orange book instead.

He was reading, he wasn't paying any attention to her. This was an insult! An outrage! Now beyond mad, she was grinding her teeth in her rage.

Closing the book and putting it away safely, he sighed again.

“You claim to be peaceful and kind, but when something happens that you can't control, you go all tyrant control freak on whatever it is that you can’t command. Seen it a dozen times before.” He sounded bored.

That did it. She snapped! *CLANG* A golden flaming halberd met a three pronged kunai in a clash that echoed for miles, knocking the Element bearers down and unconscious from the shock wave destroying the gazebo in the process.

“YOU WILL SURRENDER MONSTER!”  she yelled in the royal canterlot voice. Struggling against his raw power. He was bored. With a burst of chakra he pushed her back twenty feet  along with Luna who raised her wings in defence while raising multiple protective shields around the girls. He approached the sun diarch with slow, but deliberate steps. He started to rant.

“I just wanted to look at the stars. It has been so long. Why can I have a normal day, just once I’d like a normal day. I haven't had a normal day in sooo long!

“You know I don't ask for much. All I ask for is just one normal day in my life. No excitement, no killing, no getting my ass beat, no genocide, no regicide, no war, no invasions, no having to save the village because a city block is on fire because some moron thought it would be funny to stick a fork into an electrical outlet, no having to fight gods or goddesses, no getting stabbed!

“In addition to fighting a horse Princesses because she is mad at the fact that I won’t bent my knee, kneel and obey her every command like a dog!” She had began retort but was cut off by him again.

“I have more respect for that grey Pegasus from earlier. Derpy, she insisted I call her. She didn't treat me like a monster at all. In fact, she had been more interested in my story than she was with what I am.”  His vice grew cold.” You want my respect princesses? Earn it, just like I had to when I crawled my way to the top, fighting tooth and nail for everything I ever owned.

“Respect is earned, not given princesses. Moreover if you demand I kneel for the simple fact that you’re royalty, I’d rather spit than give you that kind of satisfaction.” She looked at him with fury in her eyes, still pinned to the ground with an unseen force. He continued his rant.

“All I want is just to lay on the grass, listen to some sweet tunes and laze around for just one day.”  He continued even further.

“Then I remind myself that’s never going to happen because who would the gods laugh at then? I’ll admit I’ve done horrible shit in the past, scary shit that will haunt me for eternity, but I was never the bad guy per se. It’s all about that morally grey area ya know.” His rant over, he began walking up to a struggling to get up Celestia.

“I don't want to hurt you, but so far you have done nothing but show me outright hostilities from the moment I awoke to right now,” he summed it all up.

The princesses went wide eyed at the fact. He wasn't trying to hurt anypony. He was merely defending himself in a world that was not his own anymore. They were totally in the wrong, they were hypocrites.

Celestia had been so used to controlling for more than two thousand years. He was right. She had been a control freak! She admitted to herself in shame.

“I want you as my friend and trust me, you don't want me as your enemy. If I wanted you dead, every last one of you would be. I am no threat to your people unless they become a threat to me.” Crouching down in front of the still prone princess, grasping her golden halberd that she still had a magical grasp on in his right hand, he said one word,  “Kurama”. Suddenly, she found herself in another realm. What she saw made her blood run cold.

A fox the size of a mountain with nine tails stood behind him with teeth bared. It was snarling and let out a cloud of hot steam when it growled. “Calm down.” As the halberd cracked, she relented and recomposed herself.

“What was that?” She asked, now terrified of whatever that fox was.

“That was my friend. I have eight others sealed inside of me and they are not too happy with you at the moment. That’s why you want me as your ally,” he said as a matter of fact.

“I don't like repeating myself but, all I wanted to do was gaze at the stars and watch the sunrise again. It’s been so long,” he said annoyed.

Hearing a number of groans the Element bearers staggered to their feet. Princess Celestia was getting up up on her haunches now that the force that had been holding her down had quit. Luna lowered her wings, which she had raised to protect herself. She hurried over to Rarity and Pinkie Pie who were in a bush. Letting her go, Naruto watched as Celestia helped Twilight to her hooves, before addressing the group.


“Everypony all right?” They groggily sounded off their affirmations. Dash sat on her rump, head held between her hooves.


“Barely. What hit me?” she complained.


“I’m sorry girls,” Celestia said in a voice laced with regret. “I lost my temper and I let a side of me slip out that I thought I buried long ago.” Her head lowered. “I should have listened to you Luna. Can you ever forgive me?” she begged, her voice shaky. She had scared herself at how easily she had lost control of her emotions. “I’m sorry.”

Luna trotted over to her and lifted Celestia’s head with a nuzzle. “We knew he would be powerful, but did not anticipate his power to be this overwhelming.” That had gotten the girls attention who looked at him with wide eyes.

“Uuuh hi?” He waved, unsure if they were going to try to kill him too.

Faster than even he could track, the pink one was in front of him. ‘Hiraishin?!’ That’s the only explanation he could come up with as to how fast she moved.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name? Pfft Silly, I ALREADY know your name. I just want to give your very own super special, ‘Welcome to Equestria, Sorry We Got Off On The Wrong Hoof Can We Try Again’ cupcake!” She finally took a moment to suck in a deep breath.
Naruto looked back and forth from Luna to Celestia back to Pinkie Pie, textbook confusion dominating his appearance. He said nothing, but carefully studied Pinkie Pie as she gingerly lifted a cupcake out from its plate. ‘Where the hell did she get that?’ He was so confused. 


The pink pony started toward the human. Luna, Celestia and the rest of the Elements of Harmony watched with equal parts fascination and bewilderment to see how he would react. They probably should have started him off with a more… sane pony. Pinkie plopped herself down in front of where the he was standing and held out the sugary treat.

Naruto crouched down slowly and sat on his knees so that she was eye level and inspected the pony. He very slowly reached a hand and carefully poked the young mare’s hair with a finger. She giggled slightly and lifted the cupcake up to him. He shifted his attention to the desert. Sure enough, ‘Welcome to Equestria, Sorry We Got Off On The Wrong Hoof Can We Try Again’ was scribbled out in thin white frosting atop the cake.

“Go on,” Pinkie Pie encouraged, pushing towards him. “Try it.”
“Thank you.” They watched in fascination as he deftly plucked the treat off the plate and lifting it up before putting it to his lips and began eating it. He had an exuberant smile on his face. It was delicious. He was hungry after all.

He looked as if he might break into tears. He hadn't eaten anything in eons. Something this sweet right off the bat was a little bit overwhelming. That didn't mean it wasn't good.

“Awww you don't have to cry. Your friend Pinkie Pie is here,” she said to comfort him.

He swallowed, neck muscles moving slightly as the remaining cake disappeared down his gullet. He ran his tongue over his teeth a few times, looking very satisfied.

“Thank you Pinkie Pie for the treat. it was delicious,” he admitted as he moved from sitting on his knees to onto his backside legs crossed.

“Yay!” Pinkie Began bouncing around him, excitedly. “He likes it!” Pinkie hopped up next to him. To Celestia's surprise, he did not protest the proximity. He did not get angry or was out right hostile to her. He laughed at her antics, something she and her sister were not expecting.

Pinkie looked at him distastefully “Blegh, You’ve been stuck in that rock for like, a bazillion years?! How didn’t you go coocoo loco?” She then continued talking about nothing in particular.

“Omigosh! How ruuude!” she declared out of nowhere. She took the plate in her teeth and walked them over to the Princesses. “Ah’ frrgot ta offr yooo un too, Princeses,” she made out from between the tray in her teeth.


Luna chuckled softly. She and her sister had been hungry this whole time as they had ate nothing these past three days due to working overtime trying to calm their subjects leaving no time to eat.

“Thank you, my dear. They look lovely.”

Pinkie trotted back to the cot. “Wan’ an’utha one?”

Naruto smiled and gave her a nod. He deftly lifted a cake with two fingers. “Thank you,” he said.

Pinkie Pie back to her seat on his right side, and selected a cupcake for herself, which disappeared down her throat faster than any civilized meal should, followed shortly by a very unladylike burp. Pinkie quickly clasped a hoof over her mouth initially embarrassed, but she soon began to giggle from behind her pink appendage.

That broke the ice as they all trotted toward him.

The five others with the two royal sisters trotted over to him with bubbliness that was normally reserved for Pinkie Pie alone. Fluttershy trotted over to him carrying a bright white box with a a large red cross on the front. The handle of the medical case was clutched firmly in her teeth, although her smile was evident despite the fact.

Celestia, stopping a few yards away from him, decided to speak once again. “Naruto, if I may start again I would like to make introductions. *ahem* My name is Princess Celestia, Co-Ruler of Equestria. I believe you have already met my sister Princess Luna and I...

“That’s an understatement if I do say so myself.” He commented the obvious.

“Well I want to get it right this time. I let my temper get out of hoof. I want to apologize for earlier. Forgive me for jumping to conclusions and judging without knowing you.”

He stood up to his full height and looked Celestia in the eyes and held out his hand. “I believe we were both in the wrong. I had not expected you to send a hit squad after me and I did act quiet belligerent to you. I accept your apology.” Looking at his hand and lifting her own golden shod hoof to his they shook.

“To new beginnings,” he said.

“To new allies, may we better ourselves so that something like this doesn't happen again.” she declared, finishing the hand/hoof shake.

“This is Miss Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie. Applejack.” Celestia nodded toward the orange earth pony, who tipped her hat slightly. “Rarity,” she motioned toward the white unicorn, “and Rainbow Dash.” Dash flared her wings and beamed proudly. “And this is Twilight Sparkle, whom is my personal protégé.”

Twilight was about to respond, but suddenly Rainbow Dash blitzed over and landed in the center of the group.

“Great that’s settled. Now, I have some questions for you.” Rainbow Dash came on a bit strong, but it certainly changed the pace quickly. When Rainbow wanted something, she was famously impatient for anything got in her way from obtaining it. She wanted answers and by Celestia, she was going to get them. “First of all; who taught you to speak Equish?” Dash was shouting a bit more than she normally did.

Everypony suddenly became very interested in his pending answer. Luna knew about the world that he pulled he into but did not know how he learned to speak Equish.

He looked at her, closed his eyes and after a dramatic pause he opened them. Blood red eyes, the last gift Sasuke gave him, greeted them.

Everypony gasped. They all backed up suddenly intimidated.

“These are special eyes that let me see all that is unseen. The illusion I put Luna under, Tsukuyomi or (Moon Reader) in your language, is one of the most powerful genjutsu in existence. It is said to represent the ‘Spiritual World and Darkness’. I need direct eye contact to enact it. Within the illusion my the person is trapped until I say differently.” Blinking again, his sky blue eyes returning, they all let out a breath they did not know they were holding.

“Genjutsu? What type of illusions are we talking about?” Twilight’s now peaked curiosity got the better of her.

“I would explain everything and more, but I have not eaten in eons and also would like a bath to relax in. My last one was in a river one hundred million years ago.”

“Eeeewww!” they all let out the sounds of disgust. To his credit he didn’t reek … somehow.

“Yes, very well then. It is getting late, and tomorrow we can discuss things in more detail. For now, you can have one of the suites located in the castle until we can find an appropriate  place to host you,” Celestia said, who just wanted to go to her room eat bathe and go to bed.

“Okay, sounds like a plan.”

They all left the gardens and into the castle the sisters directing the girls to their rooms that they had been staying in for the last three days. They then directed him to on the end of the hallway into one of the hundreds of rooms in the castle saying goodnight and leaving him alone to his thoughts.

“Tomorrow is going to be a big day,” he said.

Naruto walked over over to the bathroom door, opening it and sliding in. Once he was in, he closed it and proceeded to strip naked and perform his rituals once he had scrubbed every part of him that was dirty thoroughly rinsing and sliding into the tub, relaxing to the point where his eye drooped and were heavy. He was more relaxed than he’s been in a long time.
> Chapter 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning


Naruto woke up noticing it was daylight already. His flared emotions last night must have took more out of him than he thought. He walked into the bathroom and performed his morning rituals. Deciding to take a shower rather than a bath in the luxurious bathroom, he began to clean himself, washing his hair and body and scrubbing himself clean, rinsing off, stepping out of the shower and drying off. Brushing his teeth and rinsing his mouth out, he looked at the mirror above the sink, gazing at his reflection.

Sometimes he hardly recognized himself. There were so many scars littered about his body, although three major ones stood out from all the rest. The first one almost directly over his heart with a matching mark on his back. He earned this when he got a chidori shoved through him from his first fight at The Valley of the End. Out of sheer will power, he directed it away from the blood pumping organ. The second scar was an odd shaped puncture wound over his right kidney. He acquired this when Pain had invaded Konoha, pinning him down with his chakra rods. Last but not least is the fact that he has a prosthetic arm, remembering the day he lost it when he clashed a final time with his friend. On top of all of that, he looked younger. Now that he got a good look at himself, he did not have any of the signs of aging that he did when he held the position of hokage, which had drained him physically and mentally. Overall, looking pretty good for a thirty three year old.

‘Maybe twenty five?’ he thought as he looked at himself one again. ‘I’m going to have to talk with the nine about this, but that can wait for later.’ Nothing gets done when you dwell on the past after all.

Depositing the towel in the hamper next to the door exiting the bathroom, he walked across the room to where he had unpacked his clothing and some things. Opening his backpack, he pulled out a orange short sleeve t-shirt with the Uzumaki clan crest on the back, orange boxer shorts, a couple of hip pouches, a thigh pouch with bindings, black pants, and a pair of black combat sandals. Proceeding to put them on and sealing the rest away in his seal on his shoulder he gave himself a final once over. He then started yet another rant.

‘This apology is not going to be easy. I done fucked up big this time. All I wanted to do was try to connect a mental link though our minds, BUT NOOOO I HADDA GO AND BE A FUCKIN MORON ABOUT IT! CALL THE FIRST LEADER THAT I SAW A TYRANT! ‘SEEN IT A DOZEN TIMES BEFORE!?’ WHAT THE FUCK! GOOD JOB NARUTO! FUCKING BRILLIANT!’ he screamed internally. Heavily breathing after his mental rant, he felt a little more relaxed after getting that out of his system. ‘It’s not my time anymore. The world doesn't belong to humans anymore. They done fucked it up too. What even was that war!? This is going to suck ass!’ 

He got dressed he walked out the large oak door leading into the end of the hallway.

Waiting for him outside the door was Celestia, Luna and the six girls from last night who were still cautious around him.

He gave a frown and walked up to them. They tensed up. Though he said he was going to be peaceful from now on, doubt still lingered. Walking up to Celestia and Luna, he set his arms to his sides and bowed low at a ninety five degree angle and began to apologize.

“Gomeiwaku o okakeshite sumimasen” (I’m sorry for any trouble I caused), he said loudly and decisively.

“I am sorry for last night. I let my temper flare in my shameful display of outright hostilities towards your people. That goes against everything that I believe in. You being livid was justified. I tried to create a mental link by contact via my hands to your foreheads, but I panicked. Moreover, in one of my most stupid acts, I attempted to connect with you. I forcibly went through your mind to learn your language. I take full responsibility. It was stupid of me to go to such a length to learn a single language. I'm such a hypocrite.”

The ponies stood there stunned, surprised by his radical one eighty change in attitude from last night.

“I had been watching this world from inside that rock for a long time, but I still panicked, going against everything I believe in. I called you a tyrant when I knew full well how you ruled for two thousand years. I acted like a child! There is no excusing my actions. If you have any grievances then please name them and name my punishment. I said respect is earned, not given. As the Commander of the nations of the Elements, allow me to earn your trust and pay for my deeds. Last night was a spectacular example of me flying in the face of everything I stand for, a mistake that I don’t want to repeat. I want to be friends and allies princesses. Please accept my apology,”

Still bowing, he felt a pair gentle hooves on his shoulder. He flinched, expecting her to up and smack him. He still stood there bowing, tensing up they said gently.

“Commander, we want to see your eyes,” they said as one.

Complying, he stood up straight, and he did not expect what he saw; royalty looking at him with kind eyes and gentle smiles on their faces. He had earned a few notches of their respect in their eyes.

“Well commander, we would like to thank you for the sincere apology. Admittedly, all things could have been handled better and yes, I was livid that some unknown ancient creature with such power had rooted around in my sister's head. I acted with appropriate response and yes, the tyrant insult cut me deep. I too lost my temper. If you have been watching this whole time, you would know how rare that is. I am very defensive when it comes to my sister as she is dear to me. we share a bond of sibling after all.”

“We thank you for your for your most sincere apology, and we believe we can both learn from this mistake.”

“Allow us, if you will, to reintroduce ourselves.” They gave their titles again.

“My name is Princess Celestia, regent of the sun and all that is day, Co-Ruler of Equestria. I rule beside my sister Princess Luna, regent of the moon and all that is night,” declared Celestia.

“My name is Princess Luna, regent of the moon and all that is night, Co-Ruler of Equestria. I rule beside my sister Princess Celestia regent of the sun and all that is day,” declared Luna.

“We are the rulers of the sovereign land of Equestria. We would like to be friends with you as well,” they declared as one.

“If you are a commander of multiple nations, surely you would have titles yes? We are willing to look this over and let it be behind us if you would please tell us your full name, tiles and rank.” A golden trade if he ever heard of one.

Straightening his back, he looked her in the eye. He had not expected this. He expected, at the very least, to be thrown in the brig. Looking at the others, they had misty eyes and were giving him encouraging looks. Clearing his throat, he began, in a friendly but stern voice, listing off his titles.

“My name is Uzumaki Naruto, Seventh Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Hero of the Fourth Shinobi World War, the commander and general of the five armies in the nations of the Elements. Savior of the world and Legendary sage of the nine,” he finished, but added. “By the way, in my culture the last name comes before the first.” He warmly smiled. The other girls were now smiling at him.

“Well as much as we want to talk about all of this, we originally came to see if everypony was ready for breakfast.”

“You had me at food, I haven't eaten anything since a looong time ago.” He began walking down the hallway towards the smell of food.

“Come ooon, I’m hungry,” he whined.

“Girls come now.” Celestia chuckled at his foal like antics. They all followed.

0o0


“So , princeses, anything for me to expect? Like for example members of your family, foreign dignitaries, extended family, people of high class, etcetera, etcetera?” Naruto droned. He's been through this whole song and dance before.

In the chaos that transpired last night, she had forgotten to inform certain elements of the castle of his arrival overnight.

“Anyone in particular I should be aware of?”

“Yes, our nephew Prince Blueblood.” Both of the royal sisters exasperated in a tone that Twilight Sparkle had never heard her mentor use. The others who knew the name put their ears back to their heads. Rarity opted for grinding her teeth.

“Hmm, he sound like a real catch. If you tell me where the nearest cliff is, I can throw him off of it for you.” At this celestia laughed and luna chuckled.

“As tempting an offer that may be, we don’t want to deal with the fallout of his death at the hooves of what the nobles are calling a ravenous beast.”

“Oh your majesties.” His tone shifting to one of amusement. “Didn’t I tell you? I used to be a legendary prankster from hell. I said nothing about killing him now did I?” Naruto chuckled and smiled so wide his eyes closed and whiskered cheeks rising, all in all looking very fox like all of a sudden. They all shivered at the tone he used, almost feeling sorry for the prince. Key word being almost. He clapped his hand together loudly no longer smiling like a madman but still grinning. “Now I am famished. Let’s move on so that we can eat yes?”

One thing was for sure. They pitted whomever got on his bad side.


0o0


The large double doors opened to reveal the princesses and the bane of Canterlot himself, our favorite blonde, Naruto, with the element bearers in tow.

Sitting at the table was Shining Armor, Princess Cadance, a butt load of nobles and Blueblood. Naruto didn't even need to be told which one he was. He stood out like a sore thumb. Naruto grinned as his quarry looked at him with disgust.

As everypony sat, Naruto walked by princess Cadance. She shivered at the amount of malice he was radiating while smiling. At the end of the table was his seat seeing as he was the guest of honor. He pulled his chair out and sat.

There were a multitude of dishes, a feast if you will. They were waiting for him. Unknowing what his kind did before they ate, they looked at him carefully, watching his every move.

Putting his hands together, he uttered a single word, “Itadakimasu”, and started to dig in. In the middle of eating a salad that had been put before him, Naruto looked up at the confused ponies that had not been taught this.

“It does not speak equish, how barbaric. And it eats with its hooves, repulsive. Beast, do you not have the decency to speak equish at this royal table?”

“Blueblood that's enough! However, I am curious as to why you put your hooves together before you started to eat.” That actually got their attention

“From where I originate, it is customary to give thanks to the chef and say ‘Itadakimasu’ which means ‘I am grateful for this food’ before you eat. This is said regardless of whether the chef is present or not. People even say it if they are eating alone. After a meal, people say ‘Gochisousama deshita’ which means ‘That was delicious.’ To not do this an insult to the chef and hard the work he or she has put to in making the food on the table.”

“What a primitive tradition! Thanking the servant for doing their job? How barbaric your people are! They act the way the look, like apes!”

“NEPHEW!!” Luna was mortified how could she be related to him. Celestia shared similar thoughts.

“No it’s alright princess, I believe we have fought enough as it is, but I must say he’s not wrong as my kind did evolve from apes. Oh and don't eat the soup I hear it’s been tamped with. Whatever you do; Don't. Eat. The. Soup,” he warned. The others looked at the soup and did not eat it. He had sounded pretty sure about this, but Celestia’s pranking sense was going off. Something was about to happen.

“You can't fool me with that kind of foalish psychology. You're trying to get me to eat the soup. It's basic reverse psychology!”

“So why don't you eat the soup? I hear it’s delicious.” Naruto took a spoonful of soup and downed it. “Mmmm that's some really good soup if i do say so myself. Complements to the chef,” Naruto said, now highly amused at what was going to happen. It worked on his kids when they didn’t want to eat their veggies. Why wouldn't it work on a childish prince?

Celestia’s pranking sense was going haywire. She looked at Naruto, down at the soup, then to Blueblood, and then back to Naruto again and then she looked-WAIT.... For a fraction of a second she heard him hold back a laugh but then nothing, his face a grin, but a fine poker face if she had anything to say. Then it happened.

“You can't tell me what to do, ape!” he yelled as he plunge his head into the soup. Starting to gobble his so fast he put his entire head in the bowl, forgetting that he was royalty for a second, then it hit him. Cheeks full of soup and his face covered in the disgustingly fast way he gobbled the soup, he swallowed.

The nobles looked in disgust while Luna and Celestia looked at Naruto with wonder of how…

Rarity, on the other hand, was quite enjoying the spectacle. All it would take was some dirty gossip and he was as good as destroyed.

“It’s good ain't it!? Haha, you know that’s how I got my children to eat their veggies. I called it the ‘getting the stubborn children to eat the healthy food no jutsu’ and sometimes it would work so well that my wife would use‘sexy time no jutsu’ on me after the kids fell asleep. It was super effective, and we would be at it like rabbits alllll night looong.” He sung out lyrics as he bobbed his head and snapped his fingers to a non existing beat.

Celestia was blushing, holding back laughter at the song, Luna was also blushing but still laughing at such lewd lyrics. Cadence was giggling loudly like a school filly. Shining armor was some how envious. Rainbow Dash was cracking with Pinkie Pie’s loud laughter. Applejack had the decency to look embarrassed but still laughed. Rarity gawked at him. Poor Fluttershy was so embarrassed she hid behind her mane when she thought of Angel bunny having relations with the girl bunny from down the lane. She would have to give him the talk. She was not looking forward to that. Twilight Sparkle blushed. There was a book for this right?

The nobles were disgusted, especially Blueblood he fumed getting up. Marching over to the still singing Naruto he slammed his hoof on the table getting everypony's attention.

“Aww man you threw my groove off. Cutie over there was really enjoying it, right cutie?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Cadence that did it. She bursted out laughing falling out of her chair and everypony laughed again. Even Shining Armor was laughing at this point.

“ENOUGH! I AM PRINCE BLUEBLOOD AND HENCEFORTH I DECLARE THAT HOUSE BLOOD IS AT WAR WITH…”

“I’m ugly, and I have no friends.” Naruto snickered. God this was too easy.

“I’M UGLY, AND I HAVE NO FRIENDS!!!” he declared with a sense of self righteousness.

The laughter only grew louder.

“YOU FIEND! MARK MY WORDS YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.” His temper tantrum had reached a crazy point. Just a little more.

“But I already have made an ass out of you in less than ten minutes, so I think I’m doing juuust right in the world today.” Prince BlueBlood was stuttering. Never in his life had he been this furious. Everything slowed down. He snapped. In the first instance since he was a foal, he about faced and ran away crying. The nobles, who finally had enough, got up from the table and left in a huff, hearing the larges doors slam on their way out

“That's how you get rid of bothersome nobles. Just prey on their egos. Can't go wrong there.” The laughter died down.

“Aww man I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. You have to tell us how you did that.” Dash, still chuckling, needed that advice.

“I'm afraid I can't. Wait wait wait, before you ask why, let me finish. You can't simply begin on high self pranks. You gotta start off small and work you way up ya know? Like paint balloons graffiti, small acts of vandalism, ya know, stuff like that.” They were enraptured by his explanations of the ins and outs of pranking the do’s and the dont’s. For an hour he explained it all.

0o0

“Well since your in the mood as it were, could we go somewhere with a little more privacy?” Celestia and Luna had to agree so they went to her private study and sealed the doors. He asked them to sit down because it would take a while. Unsealing everything, all the knowledge he packed made a sizable stack of books of all kinds on the floor. Looking at their amazement, he chuckled as he began to tell them about humans and humanity, the rise and fall, and his eventual defeat at its own hands.
> Chapter 5
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

One long history lesson later

The information that Naruto had given to all of them all quite frankly shocked them. He had told them about all the shinobi world wars, the moon incident, Kaguya, Toneri, Momoshiki, Kenshiki, and the army of darkness lead by a deranged Kawaki. That humans had fell not once but twice was shocking. His kind were a precursor race. Once they fell, humanity had to rebuild once again using increasingly advanced technology in lieu of chakra. As well as the fact that the ‘old world never went away, it was asleep’ and that the moon had been created to seal away the tyrant queen Kaguya by her very own sons. That had begged more questions than answers. Everything he had told them pertained to knowledge that had been forbidden. Naruto outright stated he would never reveal those secrets. When asked why not, he began his explanation.

“Many techniques are forbidden for a reason. I know there are too many to count, but I know all my clan’s forbidden knowledge and all its secrets. As to why I will never share said information, let's just say that your world is not ready for the coupeuse amounts of death that will follow with the release of my clan's secrets. My clan did not die off due to so many living for so long. No... they were exterminated because the knowledge they held posed a threat to every nation, big or small.” This earned gasps from all that were present. The history of the ninja world was brutal to say the very least. He continued, unfazed by his own history. “Some escaped and seeked refuge in nations closest to them and what few remained scattered to the wind. As for the old world, I told you that I can still feel the remnants of the past that still seeth. That is concerning.” Naruto finished on a serious note, a distant look on his face.


“What manner of secrets do you posses that you are the only one to wield them?” Shining Armor asked, now concerned about the knowledge that Naruto harbbored.

“I told you that is not up for discussion, and before you ask why I already told you your reason. I do not wish to bring genocide to this now peaceful world. I will leave it at that and you will not question. It is forbidden knowledge for a reason,” he said a tad harsh and cold. He did not like what he knew, but alas, what he learned can never be unlearned.

“Unless it is you that holds the knowledge. That hardly seems fair!” Armor retorted, not relenting.

“I never said it was fair! I HATE IT that I know the what I do, but had to learn it nonetheless to save my race from Kawaki and his army. I have been very compliant, overtly so, and I have shared much, too much perhaps, but the forbidden knowledge will stay just that - forbidden!” he declared, looking at Shining Armor as he spoke. “It may seem like a blessing, but I can assure you it is the exact opposite.” Everypony remained silent at the slight outburst. He seemed very touchy on the subject of his clan's secrets. He would not budge on the subject, that was a guarantee. The two looked at each other with tension in their eyes, but before any more words could be thrown, Celestia decided to intervene.

“Enough, both of you. Naruto, thank you for sharing your history with us as well your techniques. I believe you when you say that you protect us by not revealing to us your forbidden knowledge. I believe we would be hypocrites to force you to tell us about it, especially since we have forbidden knowledge of our own that we do not want anypony to see except Cadence, Luna, and myself. So we can understand that you safeguard such secrets. You said yourself that with the help of your team, you saved the world more than once. That in of itself holds great merit, but captain Armor is merely attempting to keep the peace, as it were that is the only reason. You have also pilfered my sister's mind with your eyes that can see the unseen. Is it that important that you do not share any secrets in return?”

“What I pilfered Luna's mind for was the basic knowledge of how to speak your tongue and how to interpret words, sounds, and body language, nothing more, nothing less. On that you have my word. Although, I have a question for you all.” Tone shifting again, he now looked at Celestia. “Have you ever fought the undead, ones that can not die, no matter the damage to the body?

“Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei (Summoning: Impure World Reincarnation) binds the soul of a deceased person to a living vessel, restoring them as they were when they were alive in order to do their summoner's bidding. They do not rest, they do not eat and they do not die. Their power is unlimited until they are sealed away. They will continue to grow stronger with each and every strike to their body. That is one of the many forbidden techniques I know. Do you want me to continue princesses, because that is the most tame technique of the forbidden.” Silence.. “No, then I will leave it at that and we will not mention this subject ever again.” All that were present did not need to hear the implied or else. They shuttered at the very thought.

The sisters and Cadence looked at each other for a second and looked to Naruto.

“Well your history is amazing to say the least. I believe it is late and you said you would like to gaze at the stars yes? I will show you to my observatory. That lightened up the mood considerably.

“I am sorry that I snapped again Prince Armor, your Highness. I do not have the words to express how sensitive a subject like this is to me. Also, gazing at the stars sounds wonderful.” With that he sealed everything away on his arm. The doors opened and they all followed the royal sisters and Cadence.

It was late evening when Celestia and Luna excused themselves to lower and raise their respected celestial bodies and Luna began her nightly process of making the night sky.

Cadence lead him and the girls to the observatory while Celestia went to lower the sun and for Luna to raise the moon.

0o0

The sisters returned to the group who were talking about random things. Approaching them, they took their own seat.

Naruto was standing looking through a very large telescope pointed at a certain group of stars. Luna got up walking over to him wondering which group he had been observing when he started speaking, still looking through the scope.

“Did I ever tell you why I love gazing at the night sky?” His tone unknown.

“I do not believe that has ever come up in our conversations.” Luna hesitated. She did not like the empty sounding voice.

“It’s been a thousand years since i woke up and observed the world in my prison, and yet I have still have not come to grips with one thing. I understand that everyone everything I knew is gone and I’ve had a long time to grieve and come to terms with that, but there is one thing that I still can’t get over”.

“What would that be?” Luna urged him.

“I am the last one of my kind, the only one left.” They all looked down at that sobering statement. “Heh…. I have to admit I am envious of all of you, but not for the obvious reasons you may think.” His tone still sounded distant. That had got Cadence’s attention.

“Why are envious of us?” she asked tentatively, not liking where she thought this might be heading.

“Well…just to name one, the ability to have children. My biological makeup is different than all the species of your world. My chromosomes total to a number of forty six. Twenty three from mother and twenty three from father. Your species has sixty four… you do understand where I’m going with this right? That even if I fell in love and maybe even had a herd that it would be impossible to continue my legacy. So if start getting all depressed on you, just know that's why my legacy ends with my death and that scares me.” He looked up from the scope to see that they all had looks of sorrow aimed at him. Celesia walked up to him and rested her head on his shoulder, silent tears streaming down her face. That was the reason he had been overtly hostile in the gardens last night. Putting an arm around her and petting her head he reciprocated the gesture.

“I am so sorry. If I only I knew that the reason you were desperate last night wasn't that you were a threat, but because you were angry at everything. I just happened to be the target of choice to lash out at.”

“We will work to find a solution to this problem, I swear it. There has to be a forgotten tomb that holds the answer somewhere in the royal library. That is a fate I wouldn't wish on anypony.”

“Thank you.” He broke the hug and turned back to the open sky filtering into the observatory.

“That's why I gaze at the stars, they remind me of my family. The moon reminds me of my wife's eyes, and the stars and heavens remind me of my children.”

“Your wife was blind?! That must have been horrible!” Twilight lamented. If the girls were not already sad enough already, this had been an arrow that pierced her soul.

“No no no she actually had better vision than me. Her entire clan had a very light shade of lavender to their eyes, but like me, her eyes were special.” They looked up at him, confused at his statement. She had better eyes than him, but had eye color was most associated with blindness?

“Byakugan, literally meaning: White Eye. The Byakugan gave the user a near three hundred sixty degree diameter field of vision, with one blind spot at the back of the neck above the first thoracic vertebra. The range of this vision varied between users and could be improved with training. For example, Hinata, my wife, as a genin, a low ninja, could see targets fifty metres away. By age eighteen, she could see targets twenty miles away.

“Its vision could penetrate through any solid objects or obstructions, and likewise remained unaffected by blinding interferences. It was hell to put up with when fighting a user of such visual prowess, as they were able to follow high-speed movements, which allowed the wielder to analyse their opponent's actions, and allowed the user to predict and better react to them.

“A little known secret of her clan's eyes was the fact it could magnify on small targets, seeing infrared to detect a target through their body heat. It can also emit powerful chakra pulses to subdue an opponent. The Byakugan was also able to see chakra to a higher degree than the Sharingan, which I have by the way, such as identifying where a person's chakra signature originated from. It could discern certain types of clones from the real person. Its ability to see chakra was acute enough to see the chakra pathway system and the 361 tenketsu that run along it.

“The Hyūga devised a fighting style, the Gentle Fist, to take advantage of this ability, wherein they strike an opponent's tenketsu to either seal or forcibly open them, thus giving the user complete control over their opponent's chakra. In other words, if she was angry with you, there was no hiding no matter what. But if a user wielded it for a prolonged amount of time it caused severe but temporary eye-strain, leaving said user blind for about a week.

“I can remember coming home from a mission to find bandages on my Hina’s eyes and, being the calm and collected individual that I am, proceeded to freak out.” That got them giggling lightning the mood some and he chuckled at the memory. “She was fine by the way, just needed to rest her eyes for a few days so I had to take care of her helping with almost everything. Any excuse to spoil her I took full advantage of. She didn’t like it when I spoiled her like an empress, lavishing her with attention, carrying her bridal style everywhere, feeding her, loving her, you name it, I did it, and she hated it.”

“Darling why would anypony ever hate being spoiled in such a fashion and like an empress no less?” Rarity was highly confused.

“Yeah sounds like you were an awesome husband!” exclaimed dash.

“She never liked it when other girls would be mean to her because she came from the richest family in the village and did not like that I spoiled her in such ways enabling bad habits. She was everything to me and I had been blind to her affection for sixteen years.” Jaws dropped and he retorted before the shit storm. “I never said that I was smart. Can you believe I was soooo damn dumb as a kid?!” he admonished. “Everybody in the village knew about it but me! There was even a betting pool made up by most of the ninja population in the village as to the when, the how, and where the confession would take place. Shit, if I met my sixteen year old self in some bizarre time shift I just slap my past self without any explanation for being, dumb as a stump.” The element bearers were giggling again. At least he dodged that kunai to the face.

Luna, still chucking, said, “She sounds like she was an amazing mare Naruto”.

“Oh don't get me started I could tell you all night about everything about her. Her fears, what she liked her favorite food and all her favorite things. I could also tell you her most deepest desires all of her hobbies and everything in between.”

“Well I don’t have to raise the sun for some time still, and you could always sleep in tomorrow. We could go to the lounging room and continue your stories in there. I'm sure the girls are more than willing to listen. I know you have my curiosity peaked Cadence and Luna's as well.”

He looked at them and shrugged his shoulders. “Very well, if that’s what you want I will be happy to talk about my wife and my two children.” They all got up and followed Luna into her lounging room adjacent to the observatory and got comfortable.

He unsealed a Leaf book laptop that was his personal device that he had in his office of his home. He had brought a lot of random things to the apocalypse. Bad habits such as pack rating died hard after all. This being a new technology brought into the fray piqued all the ponies’ interest. He explained how it worked, that it ran on chakra, not electricity like the future laptops would. He explained this and so many more things through the night. He explained everything until the sun rose as he told and showed pictures and videos of his friends and family.

They never did make it to bed, only waking up when Luna felt a slight tug on her ethereal mane, telling her company was crying for her help in their dream. It was like no other night mare she had witnessed.

0o0

Princess Luna watched the dream, or in this case memory unfold.

Utter chaos and primal rage. Cries of pain. Screams of terror. Killing, so much killing. Men and women were getting slaughtered left and right dropping like flies. For the past three days one Uzumaki Naruto had been on a bloody rampage assault in the Land of Waves. Two years into his marriage, a crime syndicate had been growing in power. It had no name and no identification, no face until they had been brazen enough to sneak into Konoha and attack Hinata in their own home. Naruto had not been home at the time but sensed his wife's distress though his emphatic ways. 

Barging into his home and finding her a knife point… red, RED was all he could see as he ripped them apart piece by piece, leaving one breathing and barely alive, taking his wife to the hospital and telling the hokage what had transpired.

Latter it was revealed that the five dead bodies and one alive were part of this no name crime syndicate turned out to be a upstart organisation known as The Children of Madara. The Hyuuga demanded blood for blood, and Naruto was all too eager to agree.

Enraged, both him and Sasuke had been seeing red for the last three days, carving a bloody path into the crime syndicate’s base camp. 
 
Four days later, Naruto and Sasuke were found still alive among seventy dead members of The Children of Madara. in a burnt piece of land that used to be a forest and most of a mountain range.            

0o0

Luna awoke in a cold sweat, breathing heavily, but calming herself when her sister calmed her and told her that she had felt everything through the link. Looking at the human in question, they saw that he was snoring loudly, mouth open, drooling, and body twisted in a strange way. They went to wake him up along with the rest of the girls. The girls woke up, but he did not and the more they tried to wake him, the more he snored.

“Mr. Naruto.”

“Sugarcube.”

“Darling.”

“Hellooo Mr. sleepy bones.”

“Naruto.”

“I got this!”

“WAAAKE UP!” Dash screamed in his ear

“AHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL!” Naruto screamed, holding his head in pain. “SASUKE I TOLD YOU IT’S A THREE POINT PLAN TO DISMANTLE THE ENEMY’S BASE OF OPERATIONS YOU DUMB mother.. Oh hello. Did i miss something?

“You didn't have to scream at me”  Seeing the ponies shrink in on themselves, Naruto quickly added, “I didn't know that you were there. I'm sorry I yelled,” he apologized, now slightly embarrassed. Standing up and stretching to were his joints popped, he then walked over to where his stuff had been for the night

“Ha no prob. You yell really loud though.”

“Yeah well, when talking over artillery fire, you have one volume, loud, or you’re not heard and... what are you all staring at?”

Following their gaze, he looked down and saw that he did not have any clothes save for a pair of boxers on. ‘Whhhyyyy,’ he whined in his mind. Instead of freaking out he walked robotically around a corner to the right. He didn't freak out. Did he die a little on the inside? Yes. Were the Bijuu laughing their asses off? Yes. Mental breakdown? Check. Was he crying? Ye-NO! He doesn't cry, but if he does, it is only when the manliest of tears are shed. But he did not freakout.

Unsealing some clean clothes from the seal on his right bicep, he pulled out a black t-shirt, black boxer shorts, orange pants, and some black boots along with some pouches, putting them on all in a record 2 seconds.

*Ahem* “That is why humans wear clothing. It’s not about just fashion and to keep ourselves warm when it gets cold, no. In fact, it is a big cultural taboo to parade yourself around in the nude because our gentiles are exposed and hang freely about.” They blushed at this admittance.

“Who's hungry? I'm hungry, haven’t eaten since last night. No no no I'm fine, just fiiine. Ya know just a little dead on the inside, that’s all well and good. Well I’ll be going now.”

“No I'm not having a mental break down. Why would I have a mental breakdown? Hmmm can't think of why I’d go and do something like that ladies.” He then proceeded to open the door, walked through it, and then closed it, leaving the mares on the inside trying to piece together what just happened.

“I think we broke him.” Pinkie Pie summed it all up.

“We should go check on him. I mean, he’s ancient for Mother's sake. He might be losing his sanity.” Luna looked at her sister wide eyed at what she just said as it could be true. He is ancient and with that dream the two saw, sane wasn't the best thing to describe him. Maybe bipolar? They all looked at each other and rushed the to door opening it, rushing through it and closing it with a slam. They all stopped at what they saw.

Naruto had found where Luna stashes her booze and was chugging it at an alarming rate. Never mind that it’s seven in the morning. He needed a drink damn it. The princesses were staring at him with a disapproving look.

“What prey tell is the reason you are dinking like a fish this early, and out of my stash!” Luna was a little bit miffed that it had been found so easily. She had hid that well from her sister.

“My line of work and sanity mix as well as oil and water. Why am I drinking? Well it calms my nerves and finders keepers. Don't judge me!” he said between chugging.

Putting away the half bottle of whisky in the stash in between, exhaling loudly, “I needed that. So is breakfast going to be around another parade of nobles?”

“No fortunately it is not. We will be dining in a more private hall this morning. After which, I believe it is time for the girls here to go home, and you will be joining them. The question is who will house you for the time being?”

“Oh maaan, and here I thought we were going to be besties ya know? I thought I was your favorite pain in the ass. That's what I been downgraded to right?” He grinned as if that was a compliment.

“Yes, you have been downgrade to that name. Also you have to go and see the world. You aren't a threat as long as nopony hurts your friends isn't that right? And you can’t see the world cooped up in the castle,”  she explained, and Twilight was all too eager to house him.

After they ate they went to their rooms to do their morning rituals that they couldn't do since they fell asleep in the observatory, packed their bags, said their goodbyes and before they got on the train, Naruto bowed to the princesses once more.

“Thank you for allowing me to stay in your home. I look forward to the next time we see each other my friends.” Standing straight up he received a hug from the royal sisters, telling him that they would start on the genetic problem right away. Thanking them one last time, he boarded the train bound for ponyville.

He took a seat across from Pinkie Pie, after putting his scroll in the storage car. He got out some cards and played poker with her. As the train left the station, he looked out the window and thought, ‘Who knows what the future holds for me?’        
> Chapter 6
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ten miles outside Ponyville Train Station: Three hours after departing from Canterlot Train Station 


Three hours later Naruto could finally see Ponyville off in the distance. It was around noon, the sun was high in the sky and the temperature was perfect, not too hot not too cold. Everypony was hustling and bustling in town, taking advantage of the beautiful weather. The buildings definitely had the ‘small village’ look, with thatched roofs and visible beamed walls. But small town looks aside, it was surprisingly big. As they got closer to the station, he lost count of how many houses and buildings they passed.

“Wow, this place is pretty big,” Naruto said as he turned to the girls. They were getting up and stretching, working the kinks caused by the three hour trip. Fluttershy nearly fell over as the train began to slow down in preparation for the stop.

“So,” Naruto started after he helped steady the pegasus, “what’s the game plan for today? Are you gonna show me around town? I’m sure that I have to register some form of identification card and citizen status. Also, is there a place like a inn I can stay the night?”


“Oh I meant to tell you - it must have slipped my mind - that the princesses have already handled that,” Twilight said, using her magic to retrieve an ID card and various other items out of her saddle bag, a citizenship card, a hefty bag of coins straight out of the royal coffers, and a passport which had Lord status signed by the royal sisters themselves on it. With this he could go pretty much anywhere in the world if he so chose to do. Thanking her, he pocketed the items in the left back pouch.

“Also on the subject of housing, Derpy runs a inn that’s in the middle of town. It's very nice.”

“Really?” He remembered the name from a few nights ago.

“Yes, Derpy runs a homey and wholesome two story cottage style Inn which is quite large actually for the rent fee which is 20 bits a month, a price you can't beat anywhere around for the quality of living there,” she explained Derpy's household in more detail. The more he listened the more he was sold on the inn. As she talked, the train finally came to a stop, the brakes screeching.

Naruto stood up, going back to the storage car and retrieving his scroll, slinging it over his right shoulder adjusting the strap so that it was comfortable. Once that was done he went back to the private car. The six mares had been nice enough to wait for him then they started to move, Naruto following the six ponies as they made their way to the end of the car. On the other side of the door was another car, this one filled with random ponies, all headed to different stations. They made their way through the populated car, all the while ignoring stares and the pointing hooves of ponies who had inevitably noticed Naruto. Eventually they made their way out onto the station. The Ponyville station was very small, especially when compared to the canterlot station they had left three hours before.

“Welcome to Ponyville!” Applejack said, bumping into naruto teasingly as he looked around. “It may not be as pretty as Canterlot, but the people are friendlier, an’ the food is ah heck of ah lot cheaper.”

“It looks nice,” Naruto said. “I’ve always liked smaller villages, although my village was more like a huge city. But I like the smaller town vibes. You know, small town but bigger personality and the community is more tightly weaved.”

“Darn tootin, ya got that right.” Applejack swelled with a bit of pride. The others seemed to agree with his statement.

“I‘m sure you’ll love it here. I know I do,” Fluttershy said as she stretched her wings.

“I’m sure I will,” Naruto said as followed the six ponies down the ramp of the station.

As they walked he listened to the six talk about the shops and homes they passed, pointing to the best places to get this and that. The streets were pretty busy, which made sense considering it was around lunch time. Naruto was spotted walking with the six mares and besides the occasional stare or hushed whisper, everypony went about their daily life.

“Okay I was expecting at least a mass panic followed by an angry mob, maybe a few pitchforks and torches too, but this just throws me through a loop. Tell me I’m not wrong here,” he said quietly, slightly in disbelief that he wasn't already being tied to a stake and burned to death.

“Well a lot has happened in this town and I'm sure after the Zecora incident we have learned to be more accepting to strangers within the community,” Twilight said in a confident voice proud that they hadn’t panicked at the first sight of a new commer again.

“What's a Zecora?” Naruto asked confused by the name of the incident.
“You mean who’s Zecora, and shes a zebra that happens to be our friend,” Dash said slightly offended by him calling Zecora a what.

“Oh sorry, your names are sometimes hard to put together for me,”  Naruto apologized.

“Whatever do you mean darling? You said you gained knowledge on how to speak our language and body language by way of your admediatly strange eyes.” Rarity was slightly confused. He had gone into great detail as to what his eyes did.

“Yea but like I said all I learned was the basic feel for the language and basic knowledge of the body language so a lot actually goes over my head. For example some names are a noun followed by a adjective, and some names are a adjectives followed by a noun, which in my culture I understand because I speak my native language. However I’m speaking a language that I only learned the basics of a few nights ago so equish still feels weird on my tongue if that makes any sense.

“So if you've have only the basics for equish how are you speaking it so fluently?” Twilight inquired.

“I’m learning as I go and I have to interpret things a little but I think I'm managing. So yeah, the names kinda confuse me so it’s fifty- fifty sometimes,” he explained.

“Oh well if you need any help I would be more than willing to teach you anything you don't understand.” Twilight offered as they rounded another corner onto mane street.

They continued down the streets discussing random facts, one in particular piqued Naruto’s interest.

“You can clear the sky in ten seconds flat huh, and you're the fastest flyer in Equestria?” He inquired watching as Dash flew lasy circles around the group.

Thumping her chest in mid flight and boasting again about how she was just that awesome and it was okay that he couldn't keep up with her. Nopony could in the air!

The whole way to the library, Twilight drilled Naruto with questions about himself that were missed like his diet he had been pretty quiet on that, taking all his answers down on a piece of parchment and quill being levitated in front of her.

"So, Naruto. What exactly do humans eat?"

"Everything. We can eat both plants and animals. I usually stick to pork and beef myself, but I eat a lot of greens too."

He noticed horrified looks on their faces. He let it slip. He had tried to keep that a secret for as long as he could but damn it all to hell.

"I won't eat you. Or any other ponies. Humans don't usually eat ponies. In fact, I can survive entirely on a diet of fruits and vegetables but that won't put me in peak performance. The amount of calories I actually need is pretty high and I get that from a balanced meal of meats, veggies, rice, and fish,” he quickly replied. “If I can go fishing I’m sure i can handle the fish, but for now I’ll stick to food pills. They may be bitter as hell but they have everything I need all in one bite,” he supplied, but the looks he was getting had not been comforting to say the least

"Er, well, that's..... We’ll have to work on something. Ok, next.”


Several more questions and several more uncomfortable answers regarding anatomy, reproduction etc.

“Oh Kami-sama what do think I am? A walking encyclopedia!?” he said now sporting a full blush on his face after the last question on how large are the average males for his species. Several giggles were expensed at his embarrassment.

“Sorry, I’m trying to be as accurate as I can with my notes so that I might find a way to help your genetic situation.”  Before he could complain about having to educate her on human dick size IN PUBLIC!, Applejack interrupted his thoughts.

"Maybe tomorrow or the next day, we can take you on a proper tour," she said, still chuckling about how bashful the great leader of five nations really was.

"Sounds good," Naruto replied, still a little embarrassed.

"Well it was very nice meeting you, Naruto. I'm sure everything will be just fine. I have to go now. My house is down the down and off the road that way. I hope i can introduce you to my animal friends tomorrow. Goodbye everypony."

"Okay, see you soon."

"Yeah, see you later 'Shy," the rest said.

With that, she lifted off the ground, spreading her wings and fluttering down a dirt path leading towards a cozy little cottage that almost appeared to be half house, half tree.

"Next stop, Cozy Hearth Inn," Rainbow Dash called out as she did lazy circles in the air around the group.

"Thanks for bringing me into town," Naruto said.

"No problemo dude," said RD. "You'll always have a friend in me as long as you can keep up that is.” He would have no problems there.

As they started down main street, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash waved their goodbyes'. They also had things to do.

“Oh well. Please come inside and follow me. I have somepony for you to meet.”

They walked inside and closed the door naruto removed his boots by the door standing upright and out of the way unsealing a pair of slippers and putting them on as this while her library was also her home.

"Spike, I'm hooome! Spike?"

"In the kitchen Twilight!" From his voice Spike sounded like a boy several years behind puberty. As Naruto walked in behind Twilight a purple-lizard-thing strolled in from a corner.

"GAH! Twilight look out there's a monster behind you!"

*giggle* "Don't worry Spike, he's harmless."

‘Harmless?!’ He echoed back in his mind. 

Twilight turned and gave him an eye, "He’s only aggressive to ponys that hurt his friends." He grinned. "Anyways, Naruto this is Spike my number one assistant, Spike this is Uzumaki Naruto a human and the Seventh Hokage." Just as Spike heard that last bit of information his eyes widened in recognition.

"Wait, he's the guy you've been writing about in your letter? The one that fought with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna?"

"I see he’s informed. What else have you been writing about me behind my back?" he questioned.

“Hehe, only good things, I promise.” She smiled sheepishly trying her damnedest to not sound guilty.

“Riiight cause I totally believe you. And what exactly are you supposed to be? A mutated iguana?"

"I'm a dragon." It took him a while for his words to sink in.

".......What?"

"A dragon, you know. Fire breathing, eats gems and all that. Why you never heard of us?"

"We have actually. We had dragons from my time, and yeah they did breath fire and some are made of different elements, though I'm not sure about the gems part." Twilight's ears perked up when she heard this and was about to question him further, so he continued on talking as to not give her a chance, something he’s starting to get used to. "Thing is dragons used to be, well.....bigger."

"Well that's because I'm just a baby dragon."

‘From the tone of his voice I might have hurt a bit of his feelings with my comment.’

"Eventually I'll grow up bigger than the library, I'll get my wings and my hoard.” *ding* “Oh that’s lunch.”

He walked into the kitchen before Twilight could start asking questions.

0o0

A really nice looking casserole of some kind although he really didn't want to know what was in it was on the table with all sorts of greens and fruits.

"Hey Twilight." He sat at the table thanking them for the meal and digging in. "Is there any chance for me to eat meat in Ponyville?" He rummaged through the various plants and veggies on his plate, separating those he could and could not eat. The casserole, while chessy, had a lot of greens in it that he could not eat. He was grateful, don’t get him wrong, but he needed a lot more than this on a regular basis if he was going to survive.

"Y-you eat meat?"

"Funny hearing that from a dragon, who's eating a salad I might add," he teased. "Yes I eat meat, but also plants and veggies as you can clearly see." He took a bite of lettuce. "It's called being an omnivore. And no I don't eat ponies or dragons." Spike let out a sigh relief. "Much."

"Don't listen to him Spike, he's just teasing you. And sorry but no, all the residents of Ponyville are all ponies." Of course they are, what was he thinking. “Although fish is pretty popular with the pegassi. If anything you should ask RD or Futters for help like that."

"Right now I'll settle with pretty much anything." He gave Spike a look while licking his lips in anticipation which made him scoot closer to Twilight. She just shot him a glare, to which he rolled his eyes.

The rest of the day was spent eating and chatting with each other in the living area. After dinner Twilight and Spike went back to organizing the library.

"Now then." She turned and looked at Naruto. "You will be sleeping down in the basement. I've set up a bed there for you and there is a bathroom down there so don’t worry about that with a full shower and laundry room as well. Go ahead and make yourself at home. Don't be afraid to call if you need anything okay?” Thanking her again for her hospitality he grabbed his scroll, walking down the stairs to his new living space. It had a fully furnished bathroom and a shower. A decent sized room bigger than his old apartment actually, but he wasn't complaining. This was more than enough for now. Deciding to wash himself he performed his nightly rituals. He was actually tired for some reason. Getting into bed and turning off the lights he got a very fitful night's rest as the night was long and full of nightmares.

0o0

4:30 AM the following morning

He woke up with a start, jackknifing out of bed and looking around kunai drawn crouching in a low combat stance looking for the enemy that didn't exist. Realizing that it had been a nightmare, he steadied his heart and swore quietly. He had just about enough of that goddamn nightmares.

Deciding to get started for the day, he quickly but quietly walked to the bathroom silently opening and closing the door, then proceeded to strip naked and perform his morning rituals. He scrubbed every part of him thoroughly scrubbing his body of the sweat and grime from the fucking nightmares he had last night, rinsing off and standing under the hot water for a few minutes to relax. After about ten minutes waking up in the shower and finally calming down he toweled off, brushing his teeth and putting his dirty laundry in the hamper to do laundry later. Twilight had provided him to do his laundry, not questioning the idea of naked horses having laundry besides towels and just going with it.

Oh Naruto how wrong you are. Rarity would have a hemorrhage if she had heard you say that.

He needed to get out of the house, get some fresh and air stretch his muscles. He took out his master scroll and unsealed a few items for morning PT.

A lightweight chainmail t-shirt that that form fitted to his body, a pair of black boxers, a pair of dark blue long pants with a matching dark blue long sleeve shirt with a red band that had the Uzumaki clan crest on the left bicep, a pair of long black combat sandals that were meant to be bloused, a backpack filled with everything he needed for missions, just in case, one bulk potch for his lower back, wrappings for his kunai holster and the holster itself and the piece de resistance his Hitai-ate with the Konoha leaf carved into its surface which he held in his hand staring at it, a pensive look being worn upon his features.

So many things had gone wrong. So many of his friends he had lost. Everyone was dead. A thousand years may have been more than enough time to cope but that didn't mean he didn't miss the old days where things might have been different had he paid more attention to everything. Now he had new friends. He had new possibilities, new potential, and he would not let them down. He refused to let them share the same fate of his past, on this he swore. He stood there staring at the forehead protector, deciding it would be better if he didn't put it on. All he was going to do was get some PT in before returning here before Twilight woke up. He placed it gently on the table next to his bed. Finding it lacking a few items, he unsealed a few more items at that thought.

A set of framed pictures. The first was of his family and had five frames. The picture in the middle was taken shortly after he got married and starred him and Hinata smiling for the camera. God she looked so radiant in that dress and the four surrounding pictures of his two beautiful children when they were still tots.

“Good morning. I hope you are all happy and in good fortune. Say hi to Kaa-san for me Hina.” he whispered as if they could hear him. The second framed picture was of his teammates and him as adults and their Sensei, the now retired Sixth Hokage, as they all posed for the photo just like the old days only this time he wasn't glaring at Sasuke. Instead he gave a toothy smile while Sasuke grinned smugly, Sakura posing for the photo just like old times and just like old times Kakashi was in the back, a crinkled smile with his face still half covered with that mask. He never did get to see him without it. Oh the wasted potential on admittedly a lost cause.

“Good morning to you guys too. I hope you are happy and in good fortune as well.” Another was of his Father and his very pregnant mother holding her belly with a toothy grin that he inherited from her as well as her personality. He chuckled. He looked like his father but acted like his mother. That's what Baa-chan always said. The final one was of him and his family on the day he became Hokage.

Placing the pictures on the table and then placing his Hitai-ate in front of them so that the leaf was proudly displayed. He had to admit the small table looked better that way if he said so himself.

“And I never go back on my word. After all, that's my nindo.” He smiled at the pictures and proceeded to put on his articles of clothing one by one, minus the boots. He would put them on at the door.

Carrying a scroll smaller than his master scroll along with his backpack and sandals with him he went up the stairs as quiet as the grave, gliding over to the door to the library. Putting his slippers on, he opened the door, muffling the sound it made and sliding out into the library and just as silently closing the rather large door behind him. Getting to the front door he bloused his sandals after taking his slippers off and placing them next to the door, putting on his strap for his secondary scroll and putting on his backpack. He needed the fresh air and stretching. He was going stir crazy not doing any form of training or meditating.

Opening the door inhaling the crisp early morning air, sighing in relief and closing the door behind him, he started his way to a quiet place to get his morning training and exercise.

0o0

7:00 am second floor of Golden Oaks Library

Waking up for Twilight was always easy for Twilight as it was the start of a brand new day. So much new things to learn about friendship. She got up with a long yawn followed by a big stretch, sliding out of bed going into her and Spike’s shared bathroom performing her morning rituals; showering, drying off and brushing her teeth, brushing the tangles and knots out of her mane, all the while planning today's activities with Naruto, spiting the toothpaste and rinsing her mouth and downing a glass of water. Speaking of Naruto, she wondered if he was awake. Exiting the bathroom she shut the door quietly as not to wake the baby dragon currently sawing logs in his basket, smiling at how adorable he was while he slept. She tiphooved down the stairs to the first floor and quietly went down the stairs to the basement to wake Naruto up.


"If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die
Out there is a fortune waiting to be had
If you think I'll let you go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'
You've got another thing comin!'”

Naruto deciding to perform maintenance on some of his kunais with some of his free time after another shower to get the sweat off him from exercising. They were already in pretty good shape but one can’t ever be negligent in proper maintenance of one’s gear. As he finished polishing the final kunai he put one on his right index finger and proceeded to twirl it to the tempo of the song as well has headbang, not even noticing the door opening with a confused Twilight.

“Hey Naruto!?”

Ahh right on time.

“Yo!” he called out still jamming to the one of the best metal tracks ever. It wasn't from his era, but damn was it good.

“What is that noise!?” she asked.

“What? My music!?”

“Music?” she asked as she began to look around never having heard this kind of music. It was fast paced and loud, way different than Dj Pon-3’s electronic pulsing beats.

He put the kunai down and walked over to the speakers while still headbanging. It was Fucking Judas Priest man! The grandfathers of modern metal! He grabbed the little music player that Boruto gave him for his thirtieth birthday. 

It was programed to absorb the music’s radio waves using a capture antena and it had been exposed to alot during the years, but it created a library that grew every time there was music, even through seals, so that’s how he got Judas Priest on the little piece of metal. He removed it from the its dock on the speakers that held it in place with magnets. Gotta love magnets! Anyway, he stepped back out as he lowered the volume and showed her the screen.

“How is it doing that?” she asked.

“It’s stored on here though a really convoluted process which basically absorbs the signal from radio towers and capturers said song or songs and stores them so I can play them whenever I want it to,” he said.

There is no point in diving into its operation. She may be smart, but he knew it would go over her head. So he thought anyway. Ponies had similar devices, although this one was smaller. They had electronics that charged through electricity.

“So how much does it fit in there?” she asked as she pointed to the device.

“The library has grown exponentially through the years. It doesn't seem have a limit.”

“No limit? That's amazing! How?” Vinyl Scratch would be interested in the tech after all.

“Really don't know, but you won't find any more of these that I have. My Hard book PC and my chakra infused and reinforced metal i - Shinobi and Leaf pad, these were the best to ever come out as far as I know." Putting it back on the stereo system, he resumed the song he was playing before Twilight came in.

“Ah…”

She looked at the small screen to see the words Judas Priest - You've got Another Thing Comin'. She twitched her ears as she listened to the song.

“You've got another thing comin?” she said as she looked up at him. “I don’t get it.”

“It’s the best metal song ever!” he replied.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It's about not taking shit from anyone and doing what's necessary to keep things even with everyone and not letting anyone rule over anyone attempting to control things. Don’t try to control Metal ...because if you do, you've got another thing coming.”

“That sound very motivational. What else do humans sing about?” she asked gently curious.

“People sing about everything,” he said simply.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and placed the player on the ground. “Go ahead screw with the thing. I1t won't break so don't worry.” He then went back polishing a sword that he had been previously working on.

He could modify another one but it took forever to download all his songs back on one of those things. He didn't just sit on his ass for a thousand years. The Bijuu taught him how modern technology worked and how to replicate it along with how to mass manufacture the tech and so many other things.

He hear a familiar song start playing. He walked back over to see Twilight looking at the little player. On the screen stood three men with bearded faces with a rather good looking 33 Ford Coupe next to them. The music played as she listened closely. She scrunched her brow as her eyes darted from side to side as she tried to understand. This planet was years if not decades away from the era of drugs, sex, and rock and roll...again. He stood there and watched her as she gave him a questionable glance every once in a while. Once the song finished he picked up the device and turned off the music.

“Cause every girl’s crazy for a sharp dressed man?” she asked.

“Simple… do you think someone is handsome when they dress up?” he asked.

She blushed.

He took that as a yes.

He laughed at the adorable site. He acted hard a lot but deep down he was a big softy and just wanted love like a lost child, something Hinata discovered and exploited on the regular. Arguments were never the same after that. Although that didn’t mean he couldn't get back at her. He knew which buttons to press to get that cute stutter to comeback which only made her more embarrassed. Even married for ten years they sometimes acted like newlyweds.

“Anyway,” he walked back to the small bed and back to his work, “a lot of the music I listen to has a meaning behind it,”


“Really? Like what kind of meanings?” she asked as she followed him.

Oh this will be fun.

“I like all forms of music but the I love the era of Drugs, sex, and rock and roll the best,” he answered truthfully.

“...D-did you say drugs and sex?”

He looked at her. “It was an awkward time… just leave it at that,” he said with a chuckle while holding up my hand to accentuate my point.

“And you went through that?” she asked nervously.

He laughed at that, “No, no, I was born long before that era. Most of the music on my devices come from the time of humans after the era of shinobi.”

“Oh… okay…” she sounded relieved.

“Yeah, so anyway, what's on the agenda for today?” He decided switching topics was for the best. Twilight was obviously flustered.

“I’m glad you asked,” she said cheerfully, thankful that the conversation had moved.


0o0

Twilight and Naruto had just past Town Hall and were headed for Sugarcube Corner.

"Well Naruto, here we are!" said Twilight.

As she raised her hoof to show it off, Naruto could only be described as dumbfounded. The structure didn't even resemble what real architecture should look like. It looked like one of those gimmicky stands one would find at an theme park or more like something out of  Hansel and Gretel. The roof of the place looked like a gingerbread house with white frosting all over, and the overall shape of it was lopsided. At its center was a large spire jutting up, and resembled a giant pink cupcake like a goddamn fairy tail. Then again he now lived in the time of pastel colored talking horses aka Ponys that cloud perform magic, had sparkly princess, flew and things, everything seemed to revolve around friendship, and they were a lot more touchy feely and cuddly. ‘What even is the national currency? Three hugs for a head of lettuce!’ He heard Kurama gag.

Mindscape

‘STOP IT GODDAMNIT! FUCK YOOOOU!’ The giant fox was gagging, actually about to puke.

‘Love ya too buddy!’ He snickered. He knew just how to push the giant foxes buttons. Son Goku howled with laughter.

WATCH IT MONKEY BOY! Kurama roared, mortified with embarrassment. He hated when his siblings laughed at him.

Naruto you may be my friend but that was just uncalled for! Kurama groaned in pain nursing a nauseous stomach.

‘The national currency is Bits Naruto-kun.’ Isobu said flatly.

‘Wow you must be fun at parties, jeez. And he may have really puked too. Oh well, I tried.’

‘GO BACK TO BEING EMO! AT LEAST YOU WEREN'T SO ANNOYING! IT'S LIKE YOU MENTALLY DE AGED  AS WELL AS PHYSICALLY! IT'S STUPID!’

‘NO U!’ Naruto retorted 

‘UR GAY!’

‘REVERSE!’

‘FUCK YOU!’

‘I will bust out stuffed animals again! Do you really want an incident like that on your hands again?!’ They all shuddered, never wanting to think about the stuffed animal incident again. It haunted them to this very day. They may be masses of chakra incarnate and have more than their fair share of humanity's hatred, but they still had a heart. This act it had no heart. As to what the Stuffed Animal Incident or S.A.I for short was well… you really just don't want to know. No, trust me you don’t. NO YOU DO NOT!

They all glared daggers and growled at him. He dun fucked up.

‘Okay that was really shitty for me to refer to the S.A.I and I’m sorry, but still I don't want to go back to that mindset. It sucked.’

Fine so I’ll tolerate it, but please if you have a heart Naruto don't ever mention the S.A.I agin deal?

Deal! While I got you, what's on tonight?

End of Mindscape

“Naruto are you okay? You sort of zoned out there for a minute,” Twilight asked concerned.

“Yeah, I was talking with my friends. I’m all good.”

“But you just blanked out, looking like a zombie or something.”

“Well allow me to answer you original question with another question. You ever have nine voices in your head at once? It can get pretty loud and crowded in there, especially when they yell.”

“How much yelling do you do?”

“Well my friends and I act more like a dysfunctional family actually. Yeah we can get on eachothers nerves. Yeah we can have yelling matches, but at the end of the day we are family and we grow closer each time we argue. Ya know just saying the most awful things at one another really can test each other’s commitment to one another and it. I really don't have a good example, and the ones I do have would just sound like hate filled bigoted and bullheaded to you, so I’m going to refrain from explaining our arguments, but every Sunday we play poker together so that's cool.

“Sounds like a strange way to bond, but I’m not judging you. If it works, it works.”

“And if it didn't work?” he asked.

“I would be concerned,” she said simply

“Hah, me too,” he said in a humorous voice.

"So This is where we're eating'?" he said, still uncertain.

"Yep, you won't find better sweets and treats in town," she said.

Twilight opened the door, and with it came the ring of a bell, signalling someone had entered. Naruto reluctantly entered the building with her. The interior was thankfully more to Naruto’s liking. Inside were a few booth style tables, and several displays filled with baked goods and the room as a whole smelled like a bakery. Although the use of the color pink was still excessive.

"Oh hey Derpy!" exclaimed Twilight.

"Hey Twilight. Oh it's Naruto!” Derpy waved naruto over with a excited tone. “Hey Naruto, come sit with me.” Going over to the booth that she was sitting in Twilight used her magic to set down her saddlebag and sat at next to Derpy in the booth, with Naruto sitting on the opposite side. They then sat there chatting away waiting for someone to come and take their order.


“What’s poppin Derpy?”


“Nothing much, I was jogging like I do every morning, found out they were having a new morning muffin so I thought I would try it out.”

“You like muffins?”

“Is the sky blue?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Damn skippy, I love muffins. Their my favorite, but my most favorite muffin type is blueberry.” She was getting excited as she was talking about her muffins, just like he would when describing Ichiraku's ramen, his self proclaimed food of the gods. Maybe one day he would get another bowl of the holy noodles?


The discussion switched topics to Naruto’s homeland and various other intricacies of his culture like manners and sometimes how he lacked the proper way to say thank you, how it was embarrassing to do this or that in public and different hand gestures, how some were offensive and some could start a fight. How some people talked with their hands to gesture certain emphasis on individual words or tell a wild story.

All of this had been written down by Twilight the information alone could fill a small book. The conversation moved to friends and family he and how he lacked any to begin his life.

“No no no, no pity. I don't want any of that. I think of my friends as family, known them since the academy days, known some for even longer, and the lot of us got our own share of scars from various battles, fights, and even wars, but we always shared a bond. Even if it was difficult in the beginning, they all came around eventually.

“When I became Hokage, that's the leader of my village and a leader on the world stage as the commander of one of the five superpowers back then, the whole village became my family and I viewed all citizens my brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and the children as my own to protect them. That's the mindset that all Hokage have. It is not a glamorous job as a lot of people would have you belive but a position that is earned through hard work, blood, sweat, tears and broken bones. You don't get that kind of position without doing the hard work behind it. It’s an ultimate responsibility.

“To quote a very wise man my teacher as well as my Godfather Jiraiya the gallant, ‘The true measure of a shinobi is not how he lives but how he dies. It’s not what they do in life but what they did before dying that proves their worth.’” Naruto said, remembering bittersweet memories. Those were words were permanently burned into his brain after Fukasaku told him what his Godfather’s last thoughts were.  Derpy was in awe, looking at Naruto with high respect. Twilight still was writing as fast as she could but paused a second at how profound a statement like that was. It was something she would have to dedicate an entire letter to the princess. But before more sentimental things could be said from the back room came the sound of a door opening. Out stepped a somewhat hefty mare with a light blue coat and a mane of dark pink. Derpy and Twilight immediately recognized and called out to her.

"Mrs. Cake, good morning."

The pony turned her head to the source of the call out of her name.

"Oh, Twilight, Derpy, I thought I heard your voices in here. I-"

She cut off when she saw Naruto, freezing all movement in the process.

"Oh! .....Um!....Uh!" she said nervously.

"Mrs. Cake, there's no need to be afraid," said Twilight getting up from the table and walking to her.

"I'd like you to meet my new friend, Naruto. He's new here as you can probably tell," Derpy said quickly as to reassure the older mare.

"I see..." she said, still too nervous to approach him.

‘This song and dance again?’ Naruto thought to himself, clearly catching on to what was happening.

He got up from his seat and carefully walked up to the frightened earth pony. Deciding for a more friendly greeting, he knelt down to her eye level and stretched out his hand in a friendly gesture.

"Pleased to meet ya'. My name's Uzumaki Naruto."

Mrs. Cake's sense of fear began to die down as she realized he didn't seem dangerous. In fact, the motion he gave indicated he was downright friendly. She shook her head slightly to come back to her senses. She returned the hand gesture with her hoof, which was odd for the both of them, and shook.

"Sorry if I got a startled there," said Mrs. Cake with a slight smile. "I guess I was just caught a little off-guard. I don't think I've ever seen anything like you before. I'm guessing you're not from around here?"

"Indeed, I’m not," he said with a laugh.

"I'm guessing you're the ‘monster’ who was causing all the hullabaloo a few nights ago in Canterlot?"

"Yeah, well, that actually one of my finest screw ups, didn't mean to frighten nobody. My emotions ran hot and got the better of me," he explained.

"He's actually a human," stated Twilight. "He got sealed away a really long time ago. He can't jump that far back in time so he’s adapting here a citizen of equestria."

"I'm sorry to hear about that, dear. But if I may ask, how did you get sealed up for so long?"

"Well actually, we're kinda of taking a break from that. I  actually thought it be nice if I treat our new guest to breakfast at the best place in town," Twilight explained.

"Well then, I think you've chosen the right place. If you want to sit back down I can have a few menus ready for you."

Twilight nodded with content and she and Naruto returned to the table and sat down.

"By the way Mrs. Cake, where's Pinkie? She's usually the one to sit customers, right?" asked Twilight.

Mrs. Cake returned to the table with two small menus, placing them before them.

"Yes, but she took the day off. Said she had something important to do. I would have asked but she darted out the door before I could."

"That's a shame," said Twilight. "I'm sure she would have loved to join us."

Naruto still had mixed feelings about Pinkie. He could have sworn she read his mind a few days ago , but he couldn't say for certain. As he continued thinking, Mrs. Cake pulled out a little notepad and pencil with her teeth, and placed them on the table.

"Can I start you off with something to drink?" asked Mrs. Cake.

"Yes," said Twilight. "I'll take a glass of orange juice if you don't mind."

“And Derpy, would you like your usual?” she asked, scribbling some more.

“Yes please. One glass of milk.” Derpy, ever the coniusere of muffins, began her judging process. If there was one thing that the Cakes counted on it was the review of their muffins by arguably the best expert in town if not all of Equestria.

Mrs. Cake once again picked up the pencil and scribbled the order down on the notepad. Naruto thought about how odd it was she could write legibly with just her teeth. But this is coming from a ninja that can spit a senbon able to kill an enemy at twenty yards. Made one hell of a distraction causing the enemy to panic so that he could make a hasty retreat and regroup, so he guessed the point was moot.

"How how about you, dear?" asked Mrs. Cake, interrupting Naruto’s train of thought.

This was the first time he actually asked what he wanted to eat, or drink in his current circumstance, so he gave it some thought before coming up with what he wanted.

"You got any coffee?" he asked dubiously.

"We sure do. What kind of sugars or creams do you want in it?"

"I'll take it with one cream two sugars, if you don't mind."

"Okay, one cream two sugars it is then."

With that Mrs. Cake wrote it down on the notepad and tucked the pencil and paper back into her apron. She then headed back to get their drinks.

Twilight and Derpy pulled the menus up to look over the various breakfast options available. Naruto did the same, only to find difficulty in choosing one, as there were various options available. He looked to Twilight for guidance.

"So, uh, Twilight, Derpy. What are you two getting'?"

"I was thinking of getting the Whipped Pancake Platter. I’ve just been itching for some pancakes lately."

“Good choice. Can't go wrong with pancakes,” Naruto said. “What about you Derpy?” He asked.

“I'm getting the new Lemon Muffin Surprise.”

“Ah, ever the muffin connoisseur,” he teased

“Damn right bud. Ain't nopony gonna stop me from a new muffin.”

“What are you going to get Naruto?” they asked

“I think I’m gonna get the same thing you are, but I have to have some sort of protein with it. You got any ideas?”

“Yeah, just ask for eggs on top. It’s pretty good that way actually.”

Mrs. Cake had returned with a platter carrying their beverages. After she placed it on the table, Naruto Derpy and Twilight grabbed their respected drinks and Mrs. Cake once again pulled out the pencil and notepad.

"So, what will you two have?" asked Mrs. Cake.

"We'll both be having the same thing, the Whipped Pancake Platter. But Naruto will have three eggs on top of his," said Twilight.

“And you Derpy, What will it be hun?”

“I will have one of your new lemon muffin surprises please.”

With that she once again wrote down their request and was on her way to cook up the order. Naruto took a sip of his coffee. Wasn't too sweet, not too bitter, perfect.

"That's a mighty fine of Joe."

"Cup of Joe?" said a confused Twilight. "What the hay is that?"

Naruto took another sip before answering her query.

"It's just another name humans call coffee," he stated.

"Okay. Not sure why they would call it that. Listen, Naruto, I know were kind of in the middle of the whole breakfast thing, but I've been really wanting to ask a few more questions about you humans and your era."

He sighed. ‘Here we go again.’

0o0

Two and a half hours later outside sugar cube corner walking down main street

“Did you have to ask me THAT!?”Naruto was walking at a faster pace than normal while Twilight had to trot to keep up. He was still blushing about the questions pertaining to more intimate side of human reproduction namly the size of male organs and their average length and general look. ‘BRUH!!!’ Honestly how the subject changed from war to human dick size was jarring to say the least.

“I said I was sorry. I’m still getting used to the fact that humans are more reserved in this matter and feel shame when it comes to nudity.” Twilight tried to keep up all the while jotting down notes at his reaction to said topics which she now has a growing list of taboo subjects regarding humans and their anatomy in casual conversation.

They are laughing at me! His right eye had developed a interesting twitch listening to the howling of the bijuu rolling clutching their stomachs in pain from laughing so much. ‘I will repay them,’ he swore it internally which got the Bijuus’  attention. Still snickers could be heard as they tried and failed to hold in their mirth. Twilight wrote this down as well under “Curious involuntary muscle twitches caused by stress or embarrassment.” 

“AND FOR THE SAKE OF KAMI - SAMA IM NOT A DAMN LAB RAT! Stop writing everything I do or say down! It's very unnerving and a very quick way to piss me off!” She stopped writing after that, afraid she had hurt his feelings. Looking around them many ponies were staring at the somewhat frazzled six foot four biped that was yelling at Twilight Sparkle who was now looking at the ground embarrassed with the whole situation. Noticing the crowd that was slowly getting bigger he sighed a long tired sigh. He kneeled down so he was eye level so that she would look him in the eyes to get his message across.

“Look, I get that I'm interesting and new to your kind, but I have had a very traumatizing history with scientists and doctors in my past, albeit over time it got better. But the fear is still there, ready to encroach on me whenever said persons are around me. Let’s just leave it at that. I'm sorry for yelling at you again. I’m still getting used to the more touchy feely nature of your species realizing you don't causally insult each other like my species dose which is a way to bond and grow closer by joking around and such. Actually we have much to learn about each other, but for now since I am quite new to this world, can you please talk to me like I’m a normal person and not another species that needs to be studied?” He said rather gently with a genuine smile that lit up the dreary mood that she was in and she smiled back.

It was weird the effects his smile had. It was infectious to say the least. She put that in the back of her mind to be written down latter. The crowd had doubled in size. Roughly forty ponies now surrounded the two, causing Naruto to start having harsh flashbacks to his young child hood with the villagers pointing and ridiculing him, abuse, neglect, the stares!

He was sweating. His hands had gone cold and clammy. His ears ringing like church bells, his hearing muffled. All of his senses blaring like so many air raid sirens. His pupils had shrunk down to the size of pinheads, and his canines grew sharp. Shaking, he recognized what was happening. It had happened many times in the past but he never learned to control it.

PTSD. He had suffered from it for a very long time, whether it be from the war, the battles that came after the war, or from his childhood where it originated. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as he stood up, clenching his hands so hard his fingernails were digging into his skin causing the crimson icor to leak out. The Bijuu were on damage control trying to put out the fires before he did something he would regret. They had done this in the past as well and this time was no different.

“UTO”

“RUTO”

“NARUTO!” Derpy, recognizing the look all too well while twilight did not as she backed away slowly slightly fearful of the look, got close to him, forcing Naruto to look at her.

“I HAVE YOU, BREATH!” she screamed.

He inhaled a large gasp of air. He didn't realize he wasn't breathing. He shakingly whispered something only she could hear. Her eyes widened at what he said but understood as he vanished in a swirl of leaves leaving most ponies to wonder what in the name of Equestria just happened.

“Wha? Where did he go Derpy… Derpy?”

“Twilight Sparkle.” Her tone more serious than ever. “Gather your friends and the Elements of harmony and meet us by the east entrance to the Everfree Forest in fifteen minutes.” It was not a suggestion, it was an order. As she turned away she pulled a blue crystal out of her saddle bag and held it to her heart. Then she placed it on the ground and crushed it with her front right hoof. It made a ringing sound and flashed bright blue light surrounded her. When the light died down she was revealed to have an eye patch on her left eye, a scarf forest green in color and a backpack. All in all she looked nothing like the Derpy a few minutes ago. The call was out now. They had to answer. They cannot refuse a direct order. Time was of the essence.
As she rushed in the general direction of her home, it was apparent. There was more to the clumsy mailmare than meets the eye.