My Secret Journal

by RDDash

First published

Scootaloo has a secret journal where she writes everything she could think about. For example there is a lot of strange and unexplained stuff that's keeps happening in Equestria!

It all begun when Scootalloo started to notice weird and strange things that started happening during her and CMC adventures. The young mind of a filly wonders what else is out of there? For example, why does Sweetie Belle does what she does, or, why Celestia raises the Sun, or, why is she considered to be Godlike? Godlike? Now that just silly! And, Scootaloo already knows what silly is, the definition of silly is Pinkie Pie. So, she decided to keep the secret journal where she writes it all down. Her hopes and dreams, her logs about stuff that happened. Everything!

1: Random Stuff I Write in My Journal

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Scootaloo had been writing her very own journal. It wasn't a diary, oh no, the diary is a way to girly and stuff. The journal is a lot cooler, Even the Princesses wrote journals and not diaries.

Dear journal,... Today I have been studying my subject of interest! Yes, that's right, there is no need to be surprised Well, she is not technically my subject of interest, she is my friend. Well, she is, kind of!

With the frustrating sigh, Schootaloo spat out the pencil out of her mouth, and then with another frustrated sigh picked it up with her mouth, and then continued to write in a journal.

I hate writing! Wait, what I am doing? Maybe I could use wings for writing.

Scootaloo glanced at her tiny wings and sighed. She glanced back in her journal and continued to write,

No, can't do that, wings are too short. Maybe I could self-learn how to hoof write,
That would be great, I think. Now where was I, oh right, my friend. Sometimes I look at her and see something strange. It's like she is replaced by a robot or something! No, that's just silly! Um, I think I should just write it how it all started.

I think the first day that I remember, it was on the day when we all had met. More specifically, it was on the day when we decided to crash Diamond Tiara's party. I don't really remember what is it all about, and I didn't start writing a journal yet, so it won't help me! I do however remember that we totally kicked theirs flunks! Hehehe! I am just kidding, we didn't do it!

So let's see, I think that was also a day when all of us really met for the first time. It's really funny actually, so a farm filly, a dictionary, and me, complete loser who can't even fly, walk into the party.

She is not really a dictionary she is just super smart,and cute, and! Guh! I really should stop myself before I get too embarrassed, and then Rainbow Dash is going to start making fun of me! Guh! Brain bleach! I need a brain bleach!

Scootaloo started to panic, so she dropped the pencil and then started to breathe erratically. She then forced to calm herself down. She then started off again.

Right, well, sometimes she would start talking in a funny accent, that's kind of accent where the pony starts to speak in a metallic voice. Just like in those movies about robots. Now that I think about it, if I was a robot designer, and I would be designing a realistic robot why would I design it with a voice box that just screams ROBOT!

What else did I notice that is kind of strange but no pony else seems to notice, she speaks in strange voice patterns, like almost too robotic. Think about it Cutie Mark Acquisition Program, I mean come on! Hey, random stranger on the street doesn't pretend like you can't hear that. Also, Applebloom is really funny sometimes, I mean consortium? Yeah, I think Sweetie Belle saved both of us. Well, I guess that is enough writing for me.

Scootaloo once again spat out pencil out of her mouth and closed the journal. She then stood up and put the journal into her mouth. She then went to the place where she kept the journal. There was a small table with a storage compartment inside of it. Scootaloo trotted next to it, then put the journal on top of it. She then opened a compartment, and then put the journal inside of it.

"Well, that's it for now. Now, what I am going to do now?" Scootaloo looked what was else in her room, there was her bed of course then there was a table with flowers. She then looked at the wall where she saw a picture of Rainbow Dash. Scootaloo remembered it now, she drew it in her free time. Below it there was small plushie toy which was sitting beside some books on the right side of the toy, on another side of it there were another one of her toys.

She couldn't remember the last time she was playing with them. What was it two months, four months, maybe a whole year? The plushie was still her favorite.

Scootaloo looked at the clock,11:58 pm, "Oopsie Daisy! I guess I overstayed pass my bedtime."

She then jumped on the bed and reached for the toy. She then tossed it on the bed. She thought for a second, the toy didn't look quite right. The position was all wrong, it should be right in the center of the pillow. Instead, it has been laying down sideways on the bedsheets. Scootaloo decided to fix it, she took a toy with her hooves and then carefully put it on the pillow. "Perfect!"

Scootaloo was ready to go to sleep, "Goodnight Scootaloo!" She smiled to herself and then closed her eyes. She went to sleep soon after.

The night soon surrendered to the day and then later the evening once again started over.

Scootaloo once again returned from the long day of spending time with her friends.

"Let's see, I better write it down before I forget."

Scootaloo once again trotted to the table, pulled out her hidden journal with her teeth and then trotted back down to her favorite corner.

She then put the journal on the floor, and she put a pencil in her mouth, and she started writing.

I remember the day when Babs came to town, it was fun! Sort of! Oh and I suppose Babs is blind now! Yeah, that's happened.

What else was there, oh right, there was that one night, and I and Sweetie Belle had to go meet Applebloom. There were a lot of weird noise and I thought that it was so loud it going to wake up the dead. What?
Nopony heard that, weird!

No, it wasn't a cow. Hm, cows, another extremely weird mystery of Equestria. Oh, whatever, who cares about cows anyway?

The wash away our sins bath ... I'll stop here for a second just in case if anypony else who will find this journal in the far future where we all died in the horrible nuclear war, or something.

Okay, are you ready? Who are we worshipping anyway? Princess Celestia? Pshh! Give me a break! She is a real pony just like us! There is no God in our pony culture, and yet, wash away our sins! Where did It come from?

Um, so like there was like a lot of black smoke, and Sweetie Belle had been twitching. Why couldn't they make waterproof robots?

Scootaloo sighed, Dear, Sweetie Belle...I like - like you! Scootaloo closed her eyes, she forgot that she has a pencil in her mouth, so she exhaled some air, the pencil fell with a loud clanking noise.

"Shoot! I am doing this again!" She picked up her pencil again and continued to write.

Not many ponies know that, but Princess Twilight told me and other CMC that there is a temporal field in the middle of the Tartarus! The prisoners are locked inside of it. Um, Tartarus is just a prison dimension, and well that's basically it.

Now that I think about it, Twilight constantly rumbles about something only she thinks nopony else would hear it. For example, just yesterday she started ranting about how the hey did the Dazzlings managed to survive for thousands of years in a world without magic.

It gets even more confusing because we don't know anything about Siren's biology, forget that they are now in completely different mortal alien biology that they are resigning now! But what do I know? That's just Twilight's ranting, and I am just a filly who tends to overhear things!

Dear Starswirl the Bearded, I hear that you are released from limbo, and just in case you happen to read this journal, well then I have a few words for you too. Okay, here it goes! Mister Bearded you bucked up! Just send Sirens to Tartarus or something, like into the temporal field, but no! you just had to dump them someplace where it doesn't really make sense. They end up as extremely hormonal school fillies. Is this my future? Because, I fear that it's going to be my future, a hormonal good for nothing school filly. Just like Sunset Shimmer! By the way, Sunset Shimmer is a terrible role model, but what do I know? I am just a filly who has Rainbow Dash as a role model.

Dear reader, from the future far beyond from our time, or whoever else finds this journal. There is a good chance that your language will be very different from ours, who knows? I wonder if some kind of alien from outer space will find this. Well, that's it for now.

Scootaloo dropped her pencil and then routinely put the journal back to the place where it belongs.

"Now then a pop quiz, if Equiss is a massive spaceship drifting in space, would anypony knew? Would anypony care? A small mental note for myself! Write down the theory in a journal!"

Scootaloo looked at the clock it display, once again have been showing around 11:00 pm

"Did I really spend so much time writing in this journal of mine? Hm, what to do? I guess I am just going to do what usually do. I will go to sleep! Yeah, bed!" Said Scootallo. Her enthusiasm is dropping by the second. She eventually took her plushie and went to sleep once again.

2: In the Beginning There Was Only Chaos

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Dear reader in the future far beyond, it's time for me to tell you a little story. It begins like this. In the beginning, there was only Chaos! Yes! That's right! Discord created the Universe! He created everything! He created all the living creatures, ponies, griffins, minotaurs! sea ponies, dragons, donkeys, and many many others. He created stars and planets! He even created Princess Celestia and Princess Luna...

Scootaloo spat out a pencil from her mouth, and then took a sip of water from a glass. She then took a pencil back into her mouth and started to write again.

Discord is not good or not he is evil, he simply is, a pure chaos, I think that forcing him into ether path of good or evil is just wrong.

Scootaloo took a second sip of water from the glass.

I don't know if in the future there still going to be Canterlot Castle, but if it still standing please don't believe those lies that this Alicorn Princess with a God complex spread about him.

Think about it for a second, we do use her name all the time in our everyday lives. It's extremely weird. Supposedly Princess Luna is some kind of monster, but that's ridiculous. Princess Luna is a very kind pony. Are all Alicorns have a potential to be a monster? If that's actually true, then everypony is a monster, Twilight, Sunset, Celestia, Luna, Trixie, Cadence, Flurry Heart Starlight Glimmer, even me, someday...

Scootaloo thought that she needed to take a break, so while having the pencil still in her mouth she closed her journal shut and then started looking at the night sky. She liked watching it. After a few minutes, she reopened the journal once again and started to continue to write in it.

Ponies have said that Princess Celestia can raise the Sun, and Princess Luna can raise the Moon. They also said that Princess Luna can manipulate stars in the night sky. But each and every star is a sun as well. In conclusion, Princess Luna must be even more powerful than her sister who only can raise a single star, and Princess Luna can raise billions of stars every single night.

It's good in theory but you see, it's not quite right. Each star is the sun, but the thing is, those stars are really really far away from us, and the light from them takes many many years to get to us. What is it to say that Princess Luna simply bends the light in the night sky to create all of those stars. What if all of those stars are simply an illusion. But enough of this garbage.

My dear reader from the future far beyond, you don't care about such boring things you are too busy fantasizing sexually about Princesses corpses because they are all died in a war. Sad! Did I strike your attention? Are you interested in sexually molesting the corpses of our beloved Princesses? Pinkie Pie showed me the source material and by Discord's mercy, never have I seen or hear the main protagonist referring to the dead presidents in a such a lewd and disturbing way! Why I even writing this? I shouldn't be writing this!

Alright! Alright! Let me see what else I could write about Aha, the Princesses, so like if anything that Twilight[ Princess Twilight has proven is that only unicorns can become a princess, or if you are like that slut Princess Cadence then you can go and marry a unicorn Prince Charming and then plop that mutant baby. I mean have you seen those wings? Discord bucking damn her!

Scootalloo became understandably frustrated, none the less she forced to calm herself down.

This might sound weird, but do I even have parents? Everypony has parents, except me. I am... I am not sure when did it happen? Yeah.....I have nothing, I mean literally, I don't have nopony except my friends, or my adopted sister.... Yeah! I mean buck! What is my life? I am orphan orange. The thing is rumor does it that my parents are too busy to spend time with me, and I am so much of twat to not appreciate them.

My dear reader from the future far beyond, do you honestly believe this? I don't because it is a ridiculous concept! I wouldn't know because apparently, the universe didn't give me parents, to begin with. Maybe, I am the spawn of chaos, and Discord is my father! Now, that a thought! Its kind of makes sense, I think. I mean I am one of the three fillies that spend some time in front of his statue! Why does it have to be us anyway? Welp, I guess he was just bored...

Scootaloo closed her journal, and then rubbed her head with her hooves, "I think I need a break from all of that writing! I think I am starting to spew out a ton of nonsense!" Scootalloo thought about it and then shrugged, "Meh! the more nonsense I write the better! Come on focus Scootalloo! You can do better than bashing sexual tastes of ponies who will read your journal. The part with missing parents is true though."

Scootalloo looked at her journal once again, "Right! Well, I guess that's it for now!" Scootalloo once again puts a journal into her mouth and then went to its proper hiding place. She then went and done something she didn't do before, she went outside of her very small room on the streets of Ponivile. Ponivile was very quiet during the night, just the way she liked.

Scootaloo had been slowly humming one of the songs that she and the other CMC had sung once in a while, but she quickly ruined it because she felt that from her point of view it did sound like a very bad imitation to the real thing. Trying to remember from memory is a bit different experience unlike singing live with a group of friends. Unless that particular song is stuck in a pony's head in a crystal clear clarity.

Scootaloo knew what she was about to do, somehow she would need to jump on top of the roof of a house, It wouldn't be much of a challenge if she could actually fly. However, she has a perfect solution! Her Scooter will do most of the work, and then a momentum will finish the rest.

Scootallo put a two by four wooden plank diagonally on a few wooden boxes that have been stacked on top of each other, she made sure that the plank is secured, and wouldn't fall out under pressure "Perfect!" Scootalloo trotted some distance away and then jumped on her scooter. Wings buzzing she dashed at high speeds toward the plank which then gave her the lift she needs it to launch her straight on the roof. She landed on the roof and jumped off.

"I guess I don't need this anymore! At least not for today!" she carefully put her scooter down on the roof. With a corner of her eye, she saw her scooter sliding and then falling on the ground "Now I can finally relax and look at the night sky!" She fell on the roof and started looking up. Slowly her eyes closed, she fell asleep.

3: My Secret Life as a Changeling Princess

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I've been thinking it would have been really cool if I was the Changeling princess. I know they do have a Queen, so if there is a Queen so there must be a Princess, right?

And there is me, a filly who don't even have parents, or for that matter a filly who never bothered to acknowledge her own parent's existence. I do kind of think that even if I was secretly a Changeling Princess then, I guess, I would be considered an extreme embarrassment to all Changeling kind, at least they can fly! Unless I am actually a Changeling Princess who actually can fly, but in actuality, I play a perfect role as a cute pegasus filly with flying disability to collect the love energy.

All the other ponies will be like, "Look who is the little filly! That's Scootaloo!" And then I will just make cute puppy eyes, and then they would be like, "Aww! All of us suddenly got a Heart Attack"

Wait! Is Maud Pie's stone Boulder secretly a changeling? I mean, we all know that Changelings can transform into almost anything, and there is Maud who just talks crazy with her pet rock.

Don't get me wrong, I actually really like the idea of a pet rock. It's so totally rad and awesome! I would take a bunch of coloring pencils and then I would draw a face on it. Eyes, nose, ears, mouth, eyebrows, mane and tail. I would call it Dave!

Scootaloo felt a burst of happiness, after all, she really liked that idea.

Um, okay, so like, if I was secretly a Changeling Princess then I am going to rule my subjects with kindness, and I guess it would have been nice to have some sort of magical artifact to secretly brainwash other ponies, to have some sort of army of mind slaves. But I won't do it, it's kind of mean.

I never liked horse puns, personally I kind of find it a bit annoying. I mean Ponehange, Old Ponish, Roctorate, Toraindo.

Scootallooo rolled her eyes.

Speaking of Pnehange we also have Bales, Baltimare, Bitsburg, Bridleway, Bronclyn, Carneighie Hall, Chicoltgo, Coltifornia,
Gallopinghost Islands, Hooflyn, Horsolulu, Madysoat Square Garden, Mare-is, Neigh York, Neigh Mexicolt, Neighcy's San Flanksisco, Fransiscolt, Seaddle, South Ameighrica, Timbucktu, Trot as in the City of Trot and Trotan Horse, Troitland, and my personal favorite Whinny World.

You would think that we would have named our cities slightly a bit more different, you know, like with a bit more originality to it...

Scootaloo sighed, and then started to write again.

...You would think that maybe we shouldn't have terrible puns, or have city names that don't scream like we took some other names and just plastered those puns on top of them. Speaking of names! who the hey names their foals Trouble Shoes. It's like your parents just want to hate you! Now Mjölna is a very cool name. Is that because she sounds foreign?

Yeah! Let's see, Spoiled Rich! Yep, her parents hated her! Spoiled Milk makes it so much worse! Its like she is broken goods if you know what I mean! Dr. Horse, you know Pinkie Pie once told me that he is not a cynical a-hole as many would think.

Hard Hat, you are telling me there is literally a pony who is named Hard Hat! I bet my freedom that he does wears a hard hat, and he is a construction worker as well. Oh, wait he does, and he is! Rip my chitin of and color me impressed because we just caught a changeling! Hey, Everypony Hard Hat is a changeling spy!

Perfect Pie! Are you by any chance related to Pinkie Pie?! Stinking and Filthy Rich, oh sure why don't you just paint 1% as your cutie mark! Mare E. Belle, huh, I guess we found Sweetie Belle's long lost sister, I don't know! Maybelline? Oh, Buck No! Discord what the hey did you do?

Offbeat, now I know this pony is with some issues its literally in her name, thanks, Celestia! Full Steam, sigh, Changeling spy. Ginger Beard, Changeling spy. Parcel Post, a Changeling spy. Pickpocket, his parents hated him as well! Pokerhooves, you guess it, we caught ourselves a Changeling spy! Shamrock! Oh for Discord's sake! a Changeling spy! Smokestack, Changeling spy. You know what? it's tiring how many there are changelings spies that are out there. It makes me wonder why my mother even bothered with invasion.

Maybe because I am secretly a Changeling Princess naturally I feel disgusted by the horse themed puns because I am a bug pony thing. Oh by the way, almost forgot, thanks, Starswirl, without you, we would never get a chance to even existing. It could have been much more disgusting. At least you threw some pony skeleton into radioactive waste. I skipped my history lessons okay! Although I doubt that you wanted to put that detail into history books. What I am trying to say is it could have been a teleportation accident with somepony fusing with a fly.

Why nobody ever thought of this idea we are going to take Seapony eggs and then we are going to sell them to little kids as pets. We are going to call the project Instant Life. I know it a bit messed up, but hey it just might work.

"My Little Sea Pony! My Little Sea Pony! What is being a pet is all about! My Little Sea Pony! My Little Seapony! Exotic Pet Slavery is Magic!" My Little Sea Pony! I used to wonder what my morality could be! My Little Sea Pony! Until you shared this excitement with me! When I was young I was too busy to begin making new pet slaves. Such silly thing doesn't seem to be worth the effort and e-expense! But with Little Sea Ponies open up my eyes! And now the truth is crystal clear! And spend your Summer skies! And such a wonderful surprise! Uhh! My Little Sea Pony! I used to wonder what my morality could be! My Little Sea Pony! Until you all shared its magic with me!

"Our new pet slave is magic, and its growing all the time! The new adventure awaits for, us, each day, you and I! We will make it special every time! We will make it special every time! My Little Sea Pony What a wonderful world of morality it could be! My Little Sea Pony! You are now are all my very best pet slaves! My very best pet slave-e-e-es!"

Scootallooo slowly started to chuckle with a hint of green tint in the corner of her eyes.

Hm... Oh, I know. Let us go back to the Changeling Princess Idea because that's totally who I am, I am a Changeling Princess, I guess this makes Chryssalys my biological mom.... I am starting to think that I am cursed to be a filly for many many years, but that's just going to be another chapter of my life. A very confusing life if I must say.Does saying crystal clear makes it into the racial slur? hm, weird.

Scootaloo started to brainstorm more ideas, what else she could write.

In a world, full of ponies, there is a Changeling Princess who is all alone. She must keep her existence a complete secret because of some strange and unexplained reason. Maybe because Changelings are scary and icky! Or maybe because that Changeling Princess is too scared of other ponies who are going to judge her for her mother's actions!

Scootaloo closed her journal and then hid it inside a table once again.

4: Two and a Half Mares

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"So, who the hey are you?" Scootalloo asked two mares who was right in front of her first one was an Earth pony and the second one was a pegasus.

"We are your aunt's silly filly, we've always have been!"

In the back of her mind, it finally clicked to her that Chrysalis finally sent those two, probably because it would have been too suspicious to continue the fake orphan routine.

"I see, and what about the mother?"

"We are an extremely sorry child, but she is just..." Her aunt paused for a bit. "She says that she cannot join you here. If she falls then you replace her, if you both fall then we will all perish."

So yeah, turns out that my so-called "mother" send those to look over me. Still no actual parents, just a pair of hipster relatives. Why does she need to be so dedicated to her job of a megalomaniac? Why can't she just be herself? Now that was actually funny, the world sees us as monsters. It's only by mimicking others we could pretend to be alive. Slowly I forced to calm myself down.

"Alright, fine, whatever! You already know where I live so, there is no need to introduce myself. Hi, my name is Scootaloo and I am your Princess! What're your names by the way?

"My name is Holiday!" Said the first one.

"And my name is Lofty!" Said the second one.

"Holiday, Lofty, welcome to Ponyvile! I better go tell Dash that she has new family members, the adopted family is still a family."

Right! Let me just say how I am extremely grateful to have them. I mean it's not the same as, well you know. Right! Too busy being a megalomaniac. Why I am still talking about that, see if I care.

When Chrysalis transforms into beautiful butterfly she would then turn into Thorax. I am just going to shiver in disgust while at it.

Right now I was in front of Rainbow Dash's absurdly luxurious cloud mansion.
Yes, that's what you can actually afford on a meager thirty thousand bits per year weather mare salary.

Just for once I decided to actually use my own wings, and I mean it this time. I actually flew. All the way up to the cloud layer. Turns out that Rainbow Dash wasn't even home,
so I waited instead.

It took me nearly seven hours, all the way to the time when the sun dropped from the skies, but eventually, Rainbow Dash came back home.

"Hey squirt, how long have you been freezing up here?"

I waited exactly seven hours thirty-two minutes and fifty-two seconds on a frosty negative two degrees below freezing point,
but it's not like a Changeling Princess going to be bothered by such a nuisance.

"I am fine Rainbow, I just thought I would visit you or something like that. I just miscalculated the time of your arrival, no biggie!"

"Right, well do you want to come inside?" Rainbow Dash facehooved herself, "What am I saying? Of course, you would want to come inside."

Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash went inside.

"Um, actually I thought I would just come over for a few minutes, but then you just vanished for an entire day."

"Yeah sorry about that Twilight is kind of like a slave driver when it comes to the Friendship Council meetings."

Scootaloo smiled at her, "Did you at least have fun while doing it?"

"Yeah, a bit, It was kind of fun!"

"Well, I am glad to hear it then. Listen Rainbow, it turns out that part of my family just came back, and I just want you to know that!"

Rainbow Dash nodded, "That's cool I guess."

Sounds pathetic isn't it, and the conversation just jumped into a very awkward moment. After about an hour or so I and Rainbow said goodbyes to each other and then I went back home.

Scootalloo went home and once she came there she felt like she was on sugar rash, and then suddenly like all of that energy just went away.

Oh right, the empathic energy discharge. How was I so stupid not to realize that I 've just received two extra energy vampires into my company, so our energy consumption just tripled. I feel like I am going to die of boredom, gah! I feel like I have so many things left to say! Now please forgive me but I am going to jump around sporadically.

I was heard some bucked up theories about my parents, someponies say that I was ditched by my parents. For example in some alternative dimension Rainbow Dash did it, in another one Fluttershy did the same. Now let's see what else?

Do you know how sometimes there is a super evil little sister? Its extremely weird but Sweetie Belle is kind of like that! Everpony is pretty normal, and she, well she is kind of like always schemming with her um evil smile. Um right...

Top secret documents: Operation Spearhead. Absolutely top secret status report:

Princess Twilight Sparkle, species Alicorn, status: taken,
Servant Spike, species dragon, status: taken,
Rainbow Dash, species pegasus, status active/ subject is off limits/ sidenote: under protection,
Rarity, species unicorn, status: taken,
Fluttershy, species pegasus, status: taken,
Applejack, species earth pony, status: taken,
Pinkie Pie, species earth pony status: taken,
Starlight Glimmer, species unicorn, status active/subject is ignored/ sidenote: clinical sociopath,
Trixie, species unicorn, status active/ subject is ignored/ sidenote: clinical depression,
Sweetie Belle, species unicorn, status active/ subject is off limits/ sidenote: under protection,
Applebloom, species earth pony, status active/ subject is off limits/ sidenote: under protection,
Princess Celestia species, Alicorn, status: taken,
Princess Luna species, Alicorn, status: taken,
Princess Cadence, species Alicorn, status: taken,
Prince Shining Armor, species unicorn, status: taken,

Operation Spearhead completed successfully... The operation I can't believe that actually worked! now started
....
The operation I can't believe that actually worked! is aborted, due to lack of planning. and due to the sheer dumb luck, and some traitors that should never be named.