Reichtangle and Belgiumball

by Russian Bank Teller

First published

Reichtangle in equestria!

Reichtangle must anschluss equestria

weirdest thing i've ever written
feel free to criticize, as i'm never going to update this damn thing

ANCHLUSS

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"NO GERMANY NOT AGAIN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed a terrified and crying Belgium as he was running from Reichtangle in a mysterious forest. Lucky for him reichtangle kept Anschlussing random animals, which gave him time to run. He was still scared out of his mind.

"Anschluss Anschluss" said Reichtangle as he slowly anschlussed many forest animals. It was good wörk day for him. Anschluss was his favorite. must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss must anschluss. Also Omskbird was scouting for him, he like omskbird...

Fluttershy was happy when she found a new type of bird. She told all her friends and they came to inspect it. It was a species not found in anyone of Twilight's books. What was really weird about the bird is that it didn't talk. It just stared at her, almost like it was spying on her. It suprised her even more when it spoke perfect Equestrian.

"hallo i am omskbird"

"IT CAN TALK!?!?!" yelled the main 6

"yas"

"wow! I've never heard of an intelligent bird!" exclaimed Twilight. She then heard a faint screaming sound and a multicoloured ball burst in through the door.

"AHHHH!! TALKING HORSES!!"

"WE ARE NOT WHORSES!" Screamed the main six at the talking bird

"sorry, I am scared of reichtangle... AHHH! OMSKBIRD?!"

"what is 'reichtangle'?"

"he wants to anschluss me. Now hold on while i kill omskbird"

"NO! DON'T KILL THE BIRD"

"he is evil"

"how is the bird evil? He is just a bird. Also, what is 'anschluss'?"

"death pain suffering drugs death to homosex drugs death pain satan anschluss" said Omskbird after he picked up a frying pan

"AHHHHHH!!!!" yelled belgiumball

They were all interrupted when belgiumball heard the scariest thing of his life...

"Anschluss time"

"Oh no! is too late! I must escape! Good bye!"

And with that, belgiumball was off to see if he could get help at the random village nearby.

5 Hours Later

"AHHHH! Turns out I cannot get help at the random village nearby!" said belgiumball as a posse of townsfolk were chasing him with pitchforks

"Git back 'ere you varmet" said granny smith, pitchfork in hoof.

"I must escape! I need to find a distraction... hmmm"

"Aha! TAKE WALLACE!" said Belgiumball as he tore up a part of himself and threw it at granny smith

"ah! wut in da heel is dis?"

"Take that weird talking green horse!"

"ahm not a whorse you damn ball! Git back 'ere!"

"oh scheisse"

"TAKE DIS"

meanwhile in the everfree

"Take that you overgrown rectangle! I'll kick your flank!" said rainbow dash as she bucked reichtangle in the face

"ich will anschluss you!" said reichtangle as he tried to absorb rainbow dash

"not a chance, buddy!"

Meanwhile, the rest of the mane 6 minus fluttershy were trying to attack reichtangle as well. Twilight fired her magic at it, rarity threw rocks at it, applejack tried to tie it up, and pinkie pie fired her party cannon at it.

Then they all stopped attacking and decided to fire the orbital friendship cannon.

"FIRE" yelled pinkie wearing a peaked cap

"Roger! Roger!" yelled rainbow pressing a button

and with that reichtangle phased out of existance to go anschluss god

but HE WILL BE BACK

DUN DUN DUN

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Meanwhile, some 6balls were inspecting this new earthball-like planet.

"E.T. Phone home" said a weird 6ball that was slightly deficient.

"SHUT UP E.T.!" Yelled a gruff 6ball who was very preoccupied dissecting a certain cyan unicorn

"hey aliens, have you ever seen HUMANS?! THEYARETHEBESTINGIHOPEYOUCANBRINGMETOTHEMPLEASEIWA---" said a certain cyan unicorn currently being dissected.

"Will you just shut up! How are you even alive? You are being dissected!" yelled a 6ball scientist poking her horn

"I dunno, I guess the power of the fandom is too powerful for your puny balls"

"IS THAT A DICK JOKE?!"

"yes"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY!?"

polan is scare

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polan found himself with rusja in a random desert somewhere, they were discussing how to obtain vodka


"hey polan"

"what"
"can I eat you?"
"no"
"please"
"no"
"Can i eat part of you"
"Only if you gib wodka"
"Hey, whats that?"
"Huh?!?!?"

They found a random changeling wandering around humming to itself about making friends. As soon as it noticed polan and rusja, it screamed.

"AHHHH! Who are you? What are you!??!"

"I am polan, what are you and do you have the wodka. Am very thirst."

"I am russia, do you have vodka?"

"I don't even.... what?"

"Please gib wvodka" they replied in unison.

"I don't have any 'vodka' or 'wodka'. Sorry."

"Can we eat you? Very hungry."

"WHAT?! NO!"

"What are you anyway?" Replied polan, wondering what country this weird black thing could be"

"I am changeling"

"What country is changeling, and do you have food?"

"I am not a country"

exactly 5 seconds after that polan and rusja died of seizure due to lack of vodka

the end

bonus: freedommmm (the chapter thats even more crap because I need 1000 words)

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In the Crystal Empire....

"GUESS WHAT PONIES?" said mericaball

"what?" said everypony there

"LET FREEDOM RING!" replied mericaball, and with that all of the crystal empire exploded in a nuclear mushroom cloud

"ha-ha! Take that you commie horses!" And then americaball did a victory dance


Meanwhile in Canterlot...


"Sister, our country is being destroyed by these talking balls! What ever are we going to do?"

"I don't know Tia, I don't know..."

"Celestia! Luna!" said Shining Armor, captain of the royal guard

"What is it Captain?"

"The Crystal Empire exploded!"

They both collectively sighed.

"Captain, mobilize the guard. Equestria has declared war on balls"

"Ma'am yes Ma'am!" I'll tell that to the papers immediately...



In Appaloosa...

Braeburn signed and picked up a newspaper, wondering what bad thing happened today...

EQUESTRIA DECLARES WAR ON BALLS

Today the princesses announced that they declared war on balls and all of equestria should watch out for them. The balls have already destroyed the Crystal Empire are are planning to destroy all of Equestria. The guard has been mobilized and have standing orders to eliminate any balls they come accross.


RISE IN SEXUAL ASSAULT CASES

Braeburn wondered if maybe he can get out of Equestria. Too many weird things happen every day...

I lied

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Meanwhile on Earthball.....

"Russia? Polan? Belgium? Germany? Son? Anyone? M8s, I need my plumber! Damn. Well, it seems I have all of Europe to myself. Hehehhehehehhehe" Said UKBall as he started to laugh manically.

"No, I am here UK!" Said Franceball

"Shut up wanker! I'm pretending everyone left!"

"They of did"

"oh. what happened?"

"Polan found out he actually did go to space and then everyone around him disappeared."

"WOT?!??!?! Plumber DID into space????"

"yes"

"nooooooooooooooo"

And then UKball exploded.

And France took over all of Europe minus germany.

And Jewcube took over Germany

And Baltics stronk

And finland stabbed sweden and norway

Then finland became börk

and then everyone died

The End