> Equestrian Swordsman
>  by PrincessMoonzilla
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Prologue: Swordsman's War
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prologue: Swordsman’s War

It was a bright morning, a good start to a spring day if there ever was one. Perfect conditions for any sort of activity one could think of.

It was a shame that it would be witnessed in a battlefield.

The United Equus Force stood in wait of their opponent. Ponies, zebras, griffins, minotaurs, and diamond dogs stood side by side for the first time in history. No species were belittling another, nor threatening each other. All of them were united, brothers and sisters in arms on this warm morning. All readied with armor, weapons, or magic, it didn't matter. They were prepared.

An army of 25,806 stood united against a common enemy.

In the front stood the six leaders the collective races. 

Emperor Auric Falconia stood tall, an axe and sword strapped to his belt. Golden, enchanted armor surrounded his chest and arms, light enough to be able to fly without problems.

Head Shammoness Sumu held her staff, a mask made to bring luck in battle covering her face. She opted to wear traditional zebafrican monk robes, knowing all armor would do was weigh her down, and it offered little protection against what they were to face.

King Iron Bull had his arms crossed, waiting to use his new battle axe on the monster that dared take his horn. Plenty of enchanted plating covered all of his vitals, ready to be put to the test.

Patches, the first Prime Alpha of the Diamond Dogs, was eager to show exactly why dogs ruled the ground.

And finally, there were the two Equestrian Princesses, Celestia and Luna. While the eldest was wearing golden armor designed to take extreme impacts from meteors themselves, a massive war hammer in hand, the younger was wearing a dark blue armor made of Star Metal, an ore taken straight from the heart of a meteor, a scythe across her shoulders.

“Where’s the dragons,” the Griffin Emperor asked. “They should've been here by now.”

“I heard old Hephaestus finally found his son and is going to avoid the creature in return,” Iron Bull stated. “Damn coward, that lizard.”

“He may have made a smart move for his subjects, if we were to suffer more casualties here,” Sulu said. “Even their scales can't hold up against his might.”

“Let green monkey come,” the alpha told them. “Dogs will show monkey who’s alpha!”

“We doubt it would be so easy,” the Solar Diarch told the Diamond Dog. “Thine ego will blind you. We know it won't be simple.” The dog simply scoffed and turned his head.

“Thou hast no hope for victory, sister,” the Lunar Princess asked. “Surly it’s might will fall against these odds. We are thousands strong, while it is alone.”

At the opposite end of the field, the creature emerged from the tree line, silencing all voices. 

It was very similar to a monkey, a face with no muzzle or beak, just a simple nose and mouth on a flat face, one eye closed from a scar. Three golden earrings hung from it’s left ear. A green mane that was slicked back was the only visible hair on it's body, the rest of it covered by a forest green coat closed on the waist that was held by a red sash. Thick boots covered its feet, as it had neither hooves nor talons as natural protection. Scars were seen from the open portion of the coat. It’s trademark was hanging on it’s waist, three distinct katana.

Before the army was the Green Demon himself.

Roronoa Zoro.

Many of the combatants could be seen trembling from the mere sight of him. While a few had faced the occasional dragon raid or monster attack, this was something that stood at the top of the food chain. A predator that could hunt other predators for fun. 

He drew his white blade, the one that he favored whenever he was forced to use only one, and pointed at the army. He shouted a final warning at his opponents.

“Now is your last chance to flee,” he said, voice rivaling that of the Royal Canterlot Voice, letting everyone hear him no matter their place on this soon to be graveyard. “War should only be fought by those willing to die, so flee now if you don't wish to fight. I promise that I shall not follow if you do.”

A few were thinking over his offer, many of whom were eager to just abandon this battle to make sure that friend and family would not worry or grieve over them. But none left, their hope that the beast before them would never again be allowed to roam free, a threat to all they cared about.

He smirked, happy to fight such brave, or stupid, opponents, then proceeded to tie his bandana around his head before drawing out all three of his blades.

Before anyone knew what happened, all felt a wave of some kind of energy flow throughout the battlefield, hitting all within it’s perameters. Nearly 10,000 fell unconscious, not to get up until the battle was long over.

The Green Demon had made his move.

Now it was the Celestial Sisters’ turn.

“White first,” he mumbled to himself, watching as the two Alicorns rose into the air, not being affected by his attack.

“Thou shan't go no further, Roronoa Zoro,” the elder alicorn stated, charging up her magic.

“This is the end of the line,” the younger said, her magic also being charged.

Both of the sisters brought their magic together, creating a massive gold and silvery orb with the power of the Sun and Moon behind it.

“Twin Maximize Magic: Quasar!” 

The gargantuan orb of magic shot down toward the human, who was waiting for this.

“Three Sword Style: 1080 Pound Phoenix!” 

Both attacks met in the air, neither giving in to the other, until a massive explosion rocked the very land they were standing on.

Zoro still stood, much to their dismay, unharmed by the powerful magic.

The Green Demon launched forward, swords ready to bite into any who dared come to close to their master.

The UEF army surged towards their single opponent, shaken but still certain of their victory.

The Final Battle had begun.
> Ch 1: Rise of a Swordsman
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: Rise of a Swordsman

One good thing about being in stone is obviously all of the napping time.

I mean, really. A thousand years of unadulterated sleep is more than what any college student could ever want! Well, that and no debt.

Anyways, I'm getting off track here.

Name’s Roronoa Zoro, or the Green Demon, as the local populace had come to know me as. I refer to myself as the World’s Greatest Swordsman though, mostly because no one has beaten me in a sword fight. Plus, it's much more badass in my opinion.

Now, obviously, it's not my real name. However, it fit my current ordeal and it’s kind of lived with me since.

Now as for the reason I'm in anthro pretty pony princess land, Comicon. No explanation needed, am I right? Anyways, bought Zoro earrings from a dude aptly dubbed ‘the Merchant’ and bing bada boom, here is me.

Now the stone part, well, you can't really expect a teenager to successfully control post-time skip Zoro’s raw power, can you? Well, some pony princesses got the wrong idea from a stupid incident and decided to blast me with a rainbow laser gun.

Now, cool thing about being the Pirate Hunter, I've got haki, so that's awesome as hell. And due to a need to keep myself entertained, I've trained up my Observation Haki to almost overpowered levels, being able to sense every living thing and what actions they’ll take in the entire city and then some.

Not much to do with Armament Haki at the moment, but my Conqueror's Haki is good enough that I can knock a child unconscious from across the city if they’ve got a nightmare or a gang of thugs that are attacking a helpless bystander. Guards are always trying to figure that one out.

Well, enough monologuing, because it was in front of me. And by it, I don't mean the clown. Maybe. Does he count as a clown?

“Such a waste of good potential,” Discord said. “Lets see what kind of chaos you can make, hmm?” Well that sounded cryptic as hell and I seE THE GROUND INCOMING!!!

I fell unceremoniously onto my face, my swords falling to my side. Hey, at least I'm not stoned anymore! And that just came out wrong.

“Uuugh…”

“Wake up sleepy head,” he cooed at me. “There be chaos to spread!”

“No, too tired…” I mumbled through my grassy mask. You just don't wake someone up from a nap and expect them to automatically do a favor you.

“But you just woke up from a stone nap?”

“So?” Point still stands, pal.

“But you've been set free by me, bound to be in my debt! Isn't that how a samurai works!”

“Yes to the first, no to the second, and I prefer the term ronin, to be honest.”

“Why did I release you again?”

“Because you have an unhealthy need to constantly entertain yourself no matter what it comes from, be it angering a goddess, waking up a convict or even testing the sanity of a kazoo.”

“Oh I think we’ll get along just fine! Anyhoo, I'm gonna mess with the minds of childish, naive girls, you in?”

I stood up to look at the amalgamation, popping my neck. Why does he look like he came from Alice’s LSD endused dream?

“Nah, I'm just gonna go do my own thing for a while.” With that, I turn and leave Discord. I swear I heard him mumbling something about an ingrateful moss.

Well, might as well start wandering around. Now, I luckily still have my sense of direction, not Zoro’s, so I won’t get lost as easily. Maybe. Probably so, what with all of the chaos magic around. Ah well, I’ll just use Observation Haki to sense if anyone’s getting near me.

I immediately felt an entire platoon near my left. I grinned almost sadisticly.

“You boys ready,” I asked my swords. I could feel all three say yes to their master.

===[3rd POV]===

It was a hectic day for Shining Armor to say the least. First off, he gets word that Discord, who ran amuck thousands of years ago, has now returned. And now the Princess had simply ordered him to protect the castle instead of hunting down the draconequus.

“Don't worry, Captain,” one of the guards told him. “I'm sure the Princesses know exactly what they’re doing.”

Shining sighed, thanking the guard for his optimism. It was true that the Princesses could’ve taken care of the threat in the past, but Celestia’s been in peace times for a thousand years and Luna was…

Anyway, he just thought that they were too trusting of Twilight and her friends. Sure they beat Nightmare Moon, but his Twily was a bookworm, not exactly used to the strain that the Princesses or, heck, even the guard could've taken care off.

Sadly that moment was interrupted by a creature covered in green. With three sheathed swords.

“Oi,” it shouted. “Which way is out? I'm kind of lost.”

All guards got their weapons ready, Shining Armor prepping his shield spell.

“Who are you, creature?”

The being simply chuckled. “My name is Roronoa Zoro, the World’s Greatest Swordsman!”

“Greatest Swordsman? Then let's see if you can cut this, Roronoa!” A violet bubble surrounded him, making some of the ponies to calm down a little. It was known throughout Equestria how Shining’s shield once contained an elder dragon for hours, or how it could stretch to cover all of Canterlot for weeks if need be. Nothing could-

“It's Zoro.”

“Huh?”

“My name. It’s Zoro.”

“But you told us your name is Roronoa Zoro.”

“It is.”

“So your name is Roronoa?”

“No, it's not.”

“But you just confirmed we got your name right?”

“Okay, cultural difference here,” Zoro stated, raising his hands. “My family name comes before my individual name. Therefore, while my full name is Roronoa Zoro, I'm referred to commonly as Zoro.”

“This is way too stupid to fight over,” a random guard said. “Let's just contain him and wait for the Princesses after this whole debacle is over.”

“Well said,” Zoro agreed, pulling out Wado Ichimonji. “But the hard part is keeping my in this.”

“Ha,” Shining laughed. “My special talent helps improve my shield spells, making them some of the strongest in Equestria. What makes you think you can get out?”

Murphy’s law had just been evoked.

“One Sword Style: 360 Pound Phoenix!” With that, a large beam of air sliced through the shield and injuring multiple guards. Zoro stood there with a bored look on his face. “That the best you got?”

Shining simply stood in shock. His shield was broken in one attack, and due to the nature of his spell, he sensed no magic. That meant he just broke it with brute force! His herbivore instincts told him to run, run away from this monster. But he pushed on. He’s fought many creatures bigger than this, and emerged victorious.

Summoning his spectral weapons, two cutlasses, he grasped at them tightly before adopting a fighting stance. “This isn't my first fight, Zoro…”

“Then let's pray it won't be your last.”

At that, was the hardest battle that the captain ever went through. Every slice of his was either dodged, blocked or just plain ignored. And not once did the creature attack.

“This the best you’ve got,” Zoro asked, slightly annoyed. “You've got potential, but there are problems. First off, you’re too stiff. Try being a bit more relaxed and fluid. And just because you've got two swords doesn't mean you can only attack. Try using one to create an opening then strike.”

Is… is he instructing me on my swordsmanship?

The stallion shook his head, clearing his mind and testing out the advice that Zoro had given him. He did notice a slight improvement, but not enough to hit the Swordsman.

With a simple flick of his wrist, Zoro disarmed Shining and pointed the tip of Wado Ichimonji at the unicorn’s throat.

“You lose.” A second later left a gash running across Shining’s muzzle, most likely leaving a scar for the future.

The guard fell to his knees. Everypony around him were petrified from fear that they may have to fight the monster. Most of them ended up fainting.

And the Green Demon was gone.

===[Zoro’s POV]===

“Damn that was tedious,” I said aloud. Honestly, if Celestia wanted to protect her subjects, at least try to train them properly when it comes to combat. But I am severely overpowered in this world when it came to melee combat, so I can't really tell if they’re actually good…

I have to admit, though, he was faster than what I gave him credit for. But I was leagues above him, and even without my haki, it would've been easy to see where he would attack.

Now, I'm not an asshole, nor do I want to be turned back into a lawn ornament, so I was escaping Canterlot and avoiding Sun Butt.

How, you ask? Why, by running off the mountain, of course!

No, I'm being serious. I am quite literally running down the side of a mountain. Even scared a few eagles.

Now that I wasn't in immediate danger of petrification 2.0, I needed a place to lay low for a while. And I knew just the place.

Isolated, not easily accessible, and was ironic as hell. Yep, I'm going to the Everfree Castle.

If it's not inhabited. If not I'll just go up to that old cave on top of a mountain.

You know, now that I think about it, the mountains here are super random. Like, there should be a constant chain of them but nope, random barren mountain smack dab in the middle of a lush forest.

Wait a moment, am I using logic in a world full of magical horse people whose rulers move the Sun and Moon and have a magic super weapon that can turn others into stone? And to add icing to the cake, I was turned into a character from One Piece and sent here just for buying earrings. Shit makes about as much sense as a desert island in the middle of the ocean.

“Why is this my life,” I asked as I finally landed on somewhat even ground. “Oh well, no use complaining about things you’ve got no power over.”

With that said, I rushed towards the Everfree Forest.

===[3rd POV]===

Celestia smiled at Twilight and her friends.

Twilight was wearing her usual outfit, a white button up shirt and a dark purple skirt, her cutie mark emblazoned on it.

Rarity was stunning as always, turning a simple light blue dress into an instant paragon of beauty and grace.

Applejack was significantly less formal, wearing jeans and a flannel shirt.

Rainbow was wearing some sporty outfit underneath a bomber jacket made of hydra leather.

Fluttershy, poor girl, was wearing a baggy pink turtleneck with baggy pants. It didn't do much to hide her voluptuous curves.

Finally, Pinkie was Pinkie. Not much to say there.

While it was a difficult endeavor, they all overcame Discord’s mind games and defeated him. The hall was filled with some of the most influential in Equestria.

And the Solar Princess was proud of them bringing back Harmony to Equestria.

“We are gathered here today to acknowledge the bravery and heroism of these-”

“YOUR HIGHNESS!”

All eyes turned to an incoming trio of guards, being led by a certain unicorn. All knelt before the princess and the Element Bearers.

“Your highness, there’s a problem.”

“Calm down,” she said. “Now, tell me what’s so urgent, Shining Armor.”

“Princess, another creature was released while Discord ran free,” he stated, staring at the ground. “It looked like a hairless ape, only green hair on the top of it’s head, wore a green kimono, a scar across his left eye, and carried three Neighponese style swords.”

The Sun Goddess’ blood ran cold when hearing the description.

Zoro.

Fifteen hundred years ago, Zoro was a frightful enemy, able to take out whole armies with just it’s willpower. Not to mention that he was a fierce warrior, capable of creating miniature tornadoes with his blades. It was said that the only safe place on a battlefield was on his side.

It was just a stroke of luck when the two sisters found him in a vulnerable state.

Twilight gasped when she noticed the gash across her BBBFF’s face.

“Shiny, what happened to you!”

“Wait, ya know ‘im,” AJ asked.

“He’s my brother,” the lavender unicorn replied quietly, as if not wanting to disturb what he would say.

“I…,” he started. “I wasn't even good enough to leave a scratch on him. It was like he knew my movements before I did.” Most were speechless. Captain Shining Armor was considered one of the best in terms of combat, easily going against many minotaurs.

“It alright, Shining Armor,” the princess told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Even my sister and I had problems with him in the past. But fear not, he will be subdued again. Go retrieve Princess Luna and inform her to meet us in the Hall of Stories.”

Turning to the Element Bearers, she adorned a steely look. “Girls, it time you learned about your new enemy. Follow me.”

===ooo000ooo===

In the Badlands, there wasn't much to look at other than sand or the occasional rock. It was hot as the sun beat down on the dead land, no clouds to give cover.

Nothing exciting really ever happens here.

Maybe that was why a rift opened up.

The rift spat out two figures before closing up for good.

One was, undoubtedly, female. Raven hair fell down to her mid-back, held back by a pair of shades. Her outfit was questionable. A long salmon sari-like skirt with a partially-zipped navy blue leather vest with a V-neck. It seemed like what one would wear to the beach. Blue eyes opened to look at the unfamiliar surroundings.

The second was a tad strange. A tall skeleton wearing a colorful pair of pants, a good coat, a feather boa, and an extravagant hat. Close to him was a bright purple cane.

“D-Dad,” the girl said to the skeleton. “Where are we?”

“I don't know, sweetie,” he told her. “I really don't know.”
> Ch 2: Swordsman's New Playmates
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: Swordsman’s New Playmates

Twilight was nervous. It was completely understandable, given that she was about to learn about an enemy that toyed with Equestria’s greatest knight and her big brother.

“Don’t worry, Twi,” Rainbow said, placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “We can beat him! When have we met somepony who we couldn’t defeat?”

“This may very well be one of them.” All six girls turned to the new voice, revealing their Lunar Princess. “‘Twas was a stroke of luck that We even got the opportunity to defeat him. It might be something that thee shan’t get the privilege to receive.”

Celestia sighed. “Thank you for awakening, Luna. It would’ve been difficult without you.”

“‘Tis alright, sister. We shall see to it that Zoro is once again contained.”

“My Princesses, while this is good and all, why is he so dangerous,” Rarity asked. “Even when Discord was out, it didn’t have this kind of reaction.”

“Y-yeah,” Fluttershy mumbled. “It’s kind of scary.”

The two sisters stopped in front of a certain mural. This one’s centerpiece was exactly what Shining Armor had described. It was in a threatening stance, with a sword in each hand and one in it’s mouth. Most of the girls shivered seeing it. Surrounding the individual were many sentient creatures with large gashes across their chest, from dragons to minotaurs. He really did look like a monster.

“Roronoa Zoro, the Green Demon, or as he refers to himself as, the World’s Greatest Swordsman. And never shall I believe this to not be the case. Even when using one blade, few could match him in single combat. Any who dared attack him were either slain or extremely wounded. Some of his more frightening abilities are being able to sense others when nearby, attacking those that are intangible, and knocking out entire armies with his will alone. Many dragons pulled back during the end of our battles, maybe out of fear or reverence. Zebras have ghost stories that involve him stealing souls. And griffins are simply too afraid to even mention his name.”

“B-but you beat him, didn’t you? I mean, no one could stand against you two, right?” Oh poor, innocent Twilight.

“We’ve never been able to beat him,” Luna stated, anger in her voice. “Even at our most powerful, he defeated us with little more than bruises from our attacks. Every battle tactic was swatted away by his brute force. Even an army of dragons couldn’t stop him.”

“But you did beat him,” Rainbow said, a little worried. “How did you?”

Celestia facepalmed at the memory. “We found him asleep in the middle of the woods. He woke up right as the elements fired at him, petrifying him until Discord released him. It was almost embarrassingly easy.”

“What the hay! How do we beat ‘im, when ya’ll majesties can't do it,”

“Surprise Party? That always startles everypony!”

“There is one flaw about him,” the Solar Princess stated, upset that she needed to put Equestria's heroes in danger once more.“He will not raise a sword against those he doesn’t believe will offer him any entertainment in battle. This is perfect, as he hopefully won’t realize the threat you are when you find him.”

“With that in mind,” the Lunar Princess said. “Let us make a plan.”

===[Zoro’s POV]===

Ah, the Castle of the Two Sisters, what a beautiful sight. And by that, I meant that it looked like complete shit.

Granted, it had been maybe a thousand years since Luna’s possessed tantrum and Tia basically abandoned the place.

Still, though, why build a castle in a giant forest that isn't very easily tamed, filled with dozens of massive predators, with your horse subjects. Really people, common sense, ever heard of it?

Questionable building sites aside, it kept me dry, there was food aplenty near by, and so long as I avoided that cursed blue weed, I should be fine.

Now, the first order of business should be-

“ROOOAAAAWWRR!!!”Oh, good, lunch has arrived.

A manticore jumped at me, claws extended and tail waiting if I dodge. But I didn't. If I've gotten Observation and Conqueror down, I need to get Armament to an acceptable level.

My entire body was covered in a black, almost steel like substance. In my right hand was the manticore’s throat, trying to escape it’s prey-turned-predator.

“No Sword Style: Pierce!” What? I quite literally rammed my hand through a manticore’s head, killing it instantly, mind you, and yet I still feel the judgement for the name? I bite my thumb at thee, good sir!

With that taken care off, it was time to skin and roast this bad boy!

I carefully took off the tail, knowing that it was still twitchy and I didn't want to get jabbed with poison. I really didn't like how one of my weaknesses for haki was randomness. Would probably put me at a disadvantage against the draconequus.

Now that I think about it, did he get placed back in stone already? Meh, not my problem.

I started a small fire, trying out if Armament Haki did in fact start fires. It works, by the way. But the fire I made was black, almost demonic looking. Fortunately, as soon as I lit a piece of wood on fire, that particular flame was a normal orange. Freaky fire didn't seem too good for my already bad reputation.

You know, now is the perfect time in which to contemplate how overpowered Haki really is.

“Hmm, now that I think about it, I should probably update my token.” That's right, buddy, I know I'm a Displaced, I've seen the whole shpeel, and I've done this before. Sue me for not being a complete novice.

I took off one of my earrings and focused.

“My name is Roronoa Zoro, the World’s Greatest Swordsman! For those of you who seek a challenge, and those in need, just call for me! If you just want me as a tool in your plan, don't even bother. The only requirements are that you give me a great story and your best alchohol!”

I chucked that sucker hard, a rip into the Void appearing before it. That part always confused me, but I just chalk it up to Multiverse Physics.

While that was going on, I felt something along the edges of my Observation. Focusing, the aura was equine shaped, being the right shape but didn’t have the feel of a pony. Now, this peaked his interest, as when he was running into the area, this is the first thing that seemed somewhat sentient. Well, this and the chimera, but it really wasn’t worth a footnote on his radar.

I set down my meal and decided to take a walk through the woods.

Let’s hope that it wasn’t an enthusiastic one.

===ooo000ooo===

An hour of wandering and I found the visitor.

By visitor, it was a Zebra. And by found, I accidentally gave her a heart attack by bumping into her.

So I stood guard over the unconscious equine, curious about her. In the past, I’ve seen many zebras. Quite a few were alchemists who deemed the Everfree as a sort of final training, what with all the rare plants and monsters. Judging by the necklaces, she was close to finishing up. The amount of the gold bands indicated how long an alchemist was in her specific stage of training. Four leather for beginners years, five bronze for apprentices years, five silver for adept years, and six gold for expert years. After that, they would create a ceremonial necklace fashioned out of hydra leather, timber wolf bits, cocatrice teeth, and a crystallized poison joke.

As for where my information came from, a very eccentric stallion named Xante gave me a crash course on the aspects of zebra alchemy. He was by far one of my few friends in this world.

Heh, friends. I did have some during my brief time in this world. They were by far some of the best that Equestria had to offer a traveling Displaced.

Xante, Ignatius, Clover, Artemis, Golden Hoof, Baskerville and myself.

Us seven against the world. Quite literally might I add.

And all from some retarded minotaur…

Oh well, they wouldn’t want me pitying them when I should be celebrating their lives. After all, why focus on their death instead of what made their lives amazing?

“Oh,” the zebra, female might I add, groaned. “Truly a hallucination, I thought that -”

“Hi there, sorry about interrupting you, but I really don’t have time to translate your rhyming.” How did I know she rhymed? Xante. Zebras in general. Truly, nature’s poets. “Before you pass out again, name’s Zoro, I’m staying in the old castle, and I would like to be left alone. I’m sure you know what the name means and I’m sure that you’ll respect my wishes. I just want to rest in solitary peace if that’s alright with you.”

The zebra paled at my speech, but nodded. “I-I am Zecora, master of the Everfree’s Flora. If you are who you say, then why hide from the ruler of the day?”

“Because I’m very old, and I need to mourn and rest. Now, please don’t try bothering me unless something important happens.” As I walked away, I heard hooves running in the opposite direction. Huh, I guess I’m still very much a feared person.

I chuckled at that. If they won’t listen to the true story, then let them believe what they want. I’m not going to force them to believe something they don’t want to.

===[3rd POV]===

The CMC were standing on the edge of the Everfree Forest.

“Are y’all sure ‘bout this,” Applebloom asked her compatriots.

“Don't worry about it,” Sweetie Bell told her friend. “We’re just going to visit Zecora.”

“Yeah, and maybe we can find a monster to tame,” their ADHD pegasus friend, Scootaloo said. “Imagine a cutie mark for manticore taming!”

“Well…”

“Applebloom, don't you worry about anything. What’s the worst that could happen?”

And thus, Murphy’s Law was evoked by the fillies who cause enough chaos to rival the draconequus himself.

May whatever god out there have mercy on that poor forest’s non-existent soul.
> Ch 3: Swordsman's Trials
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3: Swordsman’s Trials

===[Zoro's POV]===

Being the smart man that I am, I decided to try making the castle livable again.

And by that I meant that I was building a cabin made to help support what was left of the ancient citadel.

I chuckled. Oh the irony of where I was staying hit me. If the two pegacorns learned where I was, I’m sure they might not be laughing as hard as I was. They might have even been having aneurysms. Can they even get aneurysms?

The castle itself was separated into five areas. The central area was basically a straight line, from entryway to the throne room. I was a tad confused as to the slivers of a silvery metal that was inside the once great throne room. Well, might as well not have them around where it could easily be seen. Putting them into a hollowed out log, I simply threw them aside so I could focus on the task before me.

Two were dedicated to their respective princesses. One on the left for Sun Butt and her guards, Right for Moon Moon and her batty friends. Honestly, I really don’t understand what was with the sisters and their whole Yin Yang motif, but their choice, not mine.

The last two were the Guest area and the library. Neutral areas where all could enjoy.

And you would not believe what I found in a secret lab after trying to clear off some old books. Yes, apparently Starswirl loved those cliches. Anyway, secret tunnel leading to a giant crystalline tree that just shouted ‘Rainbow Power!’ Seeing as a rainbow was the reason I was stoned for a millennia and a half, I wasn't touching that. Learned that lesson well.

So here I was, trying to make the dining room less likely to fall down on me when I felt three new presences on the edge on my haki. All three were equine and small, most likely-

“Why the hell are there kids here!” I grabbed my blades and dashed for them.

If I learned anything about this world, it was that you don’t send kids into this forest. I mean sure, it looked like it came straight from a children’s cartoon, but some of the shit that was in here was seriously bad news. Timber wolves, manticores, cragodiles, hydras, freaking pixies, and wyrms.

Of all of them, wyrms were by far the worst things here. Imagine a dragon with no wings and build like a Diamond Dog. They were the uncontested masters of the underground, able to outpace an Onix in terms of digging speeds. Steel and stones covered it’s already hard scales, making it a juggernaut lizard. Gave me a difficult time when I was just starting out.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Three female voices echoed throughout the forest, all indicating that the owners were either young or inhaling helium. I was placing my money on the first.

“ROOOAAARRR!!!” Shitshitshitshit! That’s a f*cking wyrm! What the hell did a bunch of foals do to attract a wyrm?!

I pushed in more speed as I was within 2km. I pulled out Shusui just incase I ran into something else on my way.

Feet don’t fail me now!

===[3rd POV]===

The CMC looked up in horror. The monster towered over them, it was probably bigger that the Apple’s Barn.

“Terra hungry for big pony, not small pony,” the goliath said, staring at his newly acquired prey. “Ah well, beggars no choosers. Small ponies feed Terra!”

As the wyrm reached for them, their lives flashed before their eyes.

Granted, a lot of it was filled with stupid activities that could’ve killed them if an adult weren’t around. But they never even got their cutie marks and now were stuck as a giant lizard’s snack!

Scootaloo thought about how she never got to fly with her surrogate sister.

Applebloom was praying that her family could move on if she passed, hoping that they could still live their lives.

Sweetie Belle realized that she forgot to turn off the stove at Rarity’s!

… Not all last thoughts are eloquent or philosophical, it seems.

Just as the massive hand was close enough for the three fillies to smell the rich dirt between the wyrm’s scales, they heard a new voice.

“One Sword Style! LION SONG!!!”

Before they could blink, a being clad entirely in green stood before them, holding onto one of the three Neighponese style swords attached to its waist. A click was heard, signalling that the new entity had just sheathed it’s sword, confusing the Crusaders.

In an epic moment that none of them would ever forget anytime soon, the massive reptile was split in half, a clean slice indicating the sword’s path. The splitting body let light shine onto the swordsman’s figure, giving him an almost angelic appearance to the three fillies perspective.

All stood slack jawed as the monster that even Rainbow Dash would even hesitate to fight was simply killed in a fraction of a second.

“S-so cool,” the pegasus mumbled, still clinging onto her friends who simply nodded in response.

As the body fell onto the earth, the green clad figure stood to it’s full height, easily twice the size of any of them. As they got a better look on it’s face, they grew confused as to why they were saved by a non-pony.

“You girls alright,” it asked in a deep, masculine voice. The three of them nodded. He glared down at them with his one remaining eye. “Now, would you mind telling why a bunch of fillies are parading in the forest?” All three culprits sweatdropped.

We are so bucked…

===ooo000ooo===

All six of the girls exited the Friendship Express, a weight heavily placed on their shoulders.

“This totally blows,” the prismatic speed demon said. “I mean, seriously, we lock away one ancient evil, and now we gotta do it again! What the hay!”

“I'm inclined to agree with Rainbow on this one,” the fashionista said, getting all of her luggage. “Where do all of these ruffians even come from?”

“Ah don’ know, but this ‘Roronoa’ feller better not mess wit ma apples. Zapp Apple season’s jus’ a hair away.”

“Look on the bright side,” Pinkie said. “This means we’s get more parties when we beat him! Oh, I wonder how big the cake will be!...” And with that, all of the pink sugar rush’s next set of words were lost in translation.

Twilight was thinking things over. Sure, plenty could go wrong if they made simple mistakes, but the plan wasn't foremost on her mind. This swordsman used some sort of magic or ability to defeat entire armies that has never been copied or learned! The scholar in her wanted to question and learn, while the student wanted to prove to her teacher that she was worthy of the crown on her head.

“Twilight, are you okay,” the yellow Pegasus asked her friend.

“Hm, oh, yes, I'm fine, just thinking some things over.”

As they got to Mane Street, the six girls heard a commotion. Turning their heads, all six of them paled.

It was their target, the Green Demon himself.

Even worse, he had the CMC tied up and hanging off his shoulder.

“Oi, who do these belong to,” he shouted.

Every instinct in Twilights body told her to run and hide from him, and her mind would have agreed if it weren't for their goal.

“Let ‘em go right this moment,” the southern lass told the swordsman.

“Keep your filthy hands off my sister!”

“Here, take them.” With that, the green clad human tossed the three girls at the group, confusing a few. “Next time, make sure they don't go into that damned forest. They almost got eaten by a wyrm.” And he started to walk off.

“Wait!” ‘Why are you doing this, Twi,’ her brain asked.

He turned his gaze lazily upon the lavender unicorn, causing her to flinch.

“What?” A simple question, one dripping with weariness.

“Why did you save them?” Ponies were naturally helpful towards other ponies, but the same courtesy wasn't usually given by those of a separate species, let alone a menace. It wasn't a question very much asked, but it was needed all the same to satisfy part of the girl’s curiosity.

“Because if I didn't,” he said after a moment of thought, “I wouldn't be worthy of wielding these swords.” And he left into the forest he emerged from.

AJ and Rarity were checking on their sisters to make sure they weren’t harmed while Rainbow was ranting at Scootaloo about how dangerous and stupid their actions were. She may have meant well, but she wasn't used to playing ‘big sister.’

Flutters and Pinkie were calming down the citizens while Twilight thought over the answer that was given to her.

And Scootaloo was thinking about her newest idol.

===ooo000ooo===

In the depths of Everfree, there stood a colossal set of doors. These were the gates to Tartarus, where some of the worst villains in the world were being held. They were guarded by a massive Cerberus, one that very few could even hope to defeat.

They say that there is no escape for those who were put inside. Not eve-

CLANG!!!

Oh okay, just cut me off there. That's cool.

Three more blows to the Gates and they were open, revealing three figures. One was the Cerberus, broken and bruised. One was likely one of the fugliest centaurs you will ever see. And the last was a blonde human wearing a torn suit with a yellow button up shirt.

“Ah, I've forgotten what sunlight feels like. Tell me-”

“Look, I just got us out, and we both know that I don't like you. The only reason you’re here was to act like bait. Just leave me alone, and we’ll both be on our way.”

“Hmph,” the centaur scoffed. “At least I'm kind enough to make small talk. Did thirty years in Tartarus really have that much of a negative effect on you?”

“You tell me what it's like getting an orbital friendship cannon blast to the face for something you couldn't control, then talk to me.”

With that, the two arguing figures left the gates of Tartarus. The poor pup was left to wallow in his failure of IS THAT A SQUIRREL!!!

“BORK BORK!!!”
> Ch 4: Swordsman's Rivals
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4: Swordsman’s Rivals

===[1502 years ago]===

The battlefield had bodies strewn about everywhere, most either unconscious, dead, or dying. Broken weapons and armor littered wherever there wasn't a body.

There were only three beings left standing.

Zoro stood over the two sisters, blades in his grip. Both of the sisters were ragged and tired beyond words, already on their last reserves of energy.

Luna tried standing up, using her weapon to support herself. With a casual flick of his sword, her support was gone and she met the ground.

“Sister!” Celestia crawled over to her fallen sibling. She was stopped by a glare from their enemy.

She was pathetic. She knew it, and was willing to acknowledge it. She knew it and because of it, the deaths of thousands were in her hands. Celestia stared at her enemy.

He was breathing heavy, but that was the worst of it, if you didn’t count the minor scratches, bruises, or burns on his tanned skin. All that were sacrificed, and this was all they had to show for their efforts! Here they were, at the prime of their power, and they couldn't even defeat this one creature, this one Demon!

“This could have all been avoided had you not sent your soldiers after me,” he told them, putting away his blades. “This could have been avoided had you listened to my side.”

“Your side,” the lunar princess weakly asked. “The minotaurs came to us for help because of what you’ve done! How much of a threat you’ve become!” She erupted into a coughing fit. The older alicorn rushed forward and cradled her sister’s head lightly.

“You will learn that there are two sides to every story, every argument,” he stated. “But when I gave you the chance to listen, did you? No! Your xenophobic minds decided to only listen to one side before making your decision! Do you think I wanted all of this blood on my hands!”

Zoro covered his face with his hand, facing the heavens. If they didn't know any better, they would have sworn to had seen tears.

“Because of you, so many more ended up dead than there was any right to be.”

“Its because you-” Celestia started.

“NO!” He shouted, still looking up. “I'm done. I'm done with all of the excuses. Especially mine. I don't even have enough energy to yell at you anymore. Just remember, please remember, don't just trust one side.”

“Why,” Celestia mumbled, tears forming, thinking of all that were dead because she asked them to come. “Why are you telling us this? Why now?!”

“...Because it was the only way you would listen.” With that, he simply walked towards their camp. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I'm taking all of your alcohol in order to try to forget this day.”

The only sound heard in that graveyard were the falling tears of a mother for her children and the footsteps of a wanderer.

===[Present: Zoro’s POV]===

I awoke from that dream. No, memory.

It wasn't my best moment, in all honesty. Could I have explained my message in a better way? Of course I could. But did I have a choice? That was the hard question.

Back then, they were so pig headed, always believing that everything they did was for the betterment of harmony. Well, I hope they got what they wanted, because all I have are nightmares and pools of blood on my hands.

I looked down at Wado Ichimonji. ‘Straight Path to Harmony.’ Heh, pretty ironic. A sword named after harmony brought the world to it’s knees…

Sighing, I stood up. There was no reason for this kind of philosophical bullshit. From what I’ve heard from my stoning, because we are aware during that time, the count of crime had increased across Equestria and some of the other countries. Why would those interest me? Why because of how they were carried out.

Sure, some of them could’ve been from magic, but what kind of magic explains creatures in populated areas to turn into stone or sightings of a giant axolotl?

Devil Fruits are becoming more frequent in this world.

Don’t get me wrong, they were here before I was stoned, just never heard of their effects being used in this amount. Hell, one of my friends had the Shadow-Shadow Fruit!

Well, until I get more leads, I might as well wait around here, maybe try borrowing from a library from the town east of here.

Meh, I’ll just figure it out when I get the chance.

Now, what to do?

Wait, what’s that I feel? Is that…?

No.

F*CKING!

WAY!

“Celly, Lulu,” I said, turning to the incoming princesses. “I was beginning to wonder when you’d come after me. Want some jerky?” I held out a small bit of the dried meat. Now, before you go all rage at me, I know for a fact that ponies can eat meat, they’ve just made it so then there are magic plants that offer the same nutrients as meat. Still better than tofu in my opinion.

“Stand down, Roronoa Zoro. We don’t want violence, but you will come with us,” Celestia said, pointing her warhammer at me.

“Thou will face justice,” Luna stated.

Oh yeah, they were both in full armor! Sure, it looked as though Celestia had gained a few pounds, but that didn’t diminish the fact that she could move the f*cking SUN! If I weren’t so overpowered, I’d have been scared.

“Sure, face justice,” I said, waving my hands in their direction. “And by that, what you really mean is sending me back into my stone prison where I would be well aware of all of my surroundings for thousands of years with absolutely no way to move. A prisoner in my own body. Truly, justice is beautiful.” Now that visibly made Moony cringe. She was in a similar situation, sort of. Kind of. Was it really? Eh, whatever. “And whatever my past crimes, I believe I’ve done my time, no?”

“Be that as it may,” Celestia said. “We can’t let you roam free anymore. You are a threat to all of our little ponies. And as their rulers, we must end that threat.”

Hm, something’s off. Wait, picking up six ponies coming in-

Oh, OH, OH! Why didn’t I notice this earlier?

“Sure, sure,” I told them with the straightest face I could, which was extremely hard mind you. “I mean, you could do that if you had your little rocks, yes?” And that got both of them. I may have bad depth perception, but I am really good at seeing the details. Mixed blessing, my face. “Like I thought. So, Sunny, Moony, I don’t feel like fighting right now, so if you wou-OKAY WE’RE DOING THIS NOW!”

Luna just freaking rushed me, scythe slicing down through  the area I was previously sitting in. Oh, goodbye sweet, sweet jerky. Thou shalt be missed.

Celestia used my surprise to her advantage, bringing down her weapon while I was caught off guard.

So, caught between a scythe and a hammer, I did the only sensible thing. Full body Armament! Or at least the chest area.

Hammer was brought down onto my chest, sending me crashing through the floor into an old training area. Fitting. While the sisters were coming down, I turned the haki off and brought out Kitetsu. While this one always made me nervous, it was the first one I grabbed.

The reason this specific one made me nervous? It likes blood. No other way I could explain it. Whenever I bring out this cursed sword, I feel a small sense of bloodlust, always increasing whenever I make a deep enough cut, seeing the crimson liquid come out.

And by Tao did it felt good.

Side slash, overhead strike, feints, I could read their movements easily. If it was easy for me way back when, it was child's play now. I blocked when I needed to, dodged when I could, and stood unflinching. Sparks flashed as our weapons clashed, creating a beautiful scene.

I lived for those sparks.

It wasn't so much the actual fighting as the symphony of a battle that I simply loved. When I fought, there was no male or female, young or old, peasant or noble. Just two performers in this deadly dance of battle, weapons the instruments.

As Luna went on the offensive, the white alicorn stepped back in order to charge up a spell. The six elements will be here in five minutes, give or take. They were just stalling me. They thought that I was the same opponent that met them on that battlefield, being able to only focus on the immediate area. Trust me, I won't be stoned by them a second time.

“Solar Flare!” A superheated ball of fire came my way at the speed of a bullet. In the .4 seconds it took to reach me, I had already brought up my haki. That's right baby, I can block magic! Suck on that!

Anyway, my haki absorbed most of the blow, which was way more powerful than need be, and sent me skidding back a foot. The cobalt alicorn wasted no time, attacking me with a combination of both her might and magic.

“Crescent Slash!” The ice covered blade was brought down over my head, and would’ve heavily injured me had I not been covered or dodged.

Honestly, if it weren't for their speed, strength, and durability, they would've been beaten by some random warlord long ago. The disadvantage of two handed weapons was that there were very limited ways one could attack. Sure they pack a punch when being brought down full force, but you couldn't use either of your hands and the momentum of the weapon itself tended to throw you off if you missed, and one tended to against a quicker opponent.

Unfortunately for them, I was a very quick man.

They continued their onslaught while I dodged, blocked, and gave them the occasional slash. What? I want them to think I'm trying.

“Damn, you girls are really trying hard, huh?”

Let's see here… yep, they’ll be here in around a minute. Let's see if I'm still as good as before.

In the dance of battle, setting up your opponents is key. For example, letting them believe that they’ve made it so then my back is facing the only door in the room. While this would've made little sense to a complete novice, as they would believe that you’ve just given your enemy an escape route. But an experienced warrior might be able to tell that they were planning something.

3… 2… 1…

Observation told me that there were six mares directly behind me. The Six Elements. The sister’s slight smiles told me everything.

So, I did the most logical thing I could.

I jumped out of the way of the Rainbow Death Ray.

I can hear you asking, “Why do you think dodging would help you?” Well, because of my old friend Clover. She took notes on the Elements, and at one point shared them with me.

All you need to know is that I did a flip out of the way and watched as the laser shot towards two very shocked alicorns. When said laser made it to said sisters, the effect wasn't exactly what you’d expect.

A) they weren't stone. B) they weren't suddenly blasting off like Team Rocket. C) I don't have anything for this one. It honestly just looked like they had all of their strength sapped. Lame! On the plus side, Celestia’s mane was no longer the annoyingly three shimmering colors as before.

Before the girls could break out of their stupor, I rushed towards them.

Before anyone could blink, I was behind the six mares, a certain tiara in my hand.

“That wasn't very nice, girls. I wasn't done with those two yet.”

“What the- Give that back!” The purple one was angry, obviously. “Do you-” I was face to face with her in a moment, a glare that was usually enough to frighten any animal. Add some haki to it and she was paralyzed with fear.

“You six are not warriors. You have no place on a battlefield. Just go home, before you get hurt.” I was not going to start a fight with those who had no idea of what they were doing. What they thought they were prepared for.

I was then attacked by a vicious kick from the orange one that was quickly followed up with a punch from Skittles. I dodged but still!

“Ya’ll ain’t gonna tell us what we can or can’t do,” the cowgirl (is that what you call them here?) said.

“And why would we listen to you, anyway,” Skittles said, voice dripping with hubris. The fall of most warriors.

“Very well then,” I muttered. “Be prepared to reap what you sow.” With that, I shot forward.

Using the flat end of my blade, I hit the pegasus are enough to shoot her back into a wall. Not enough force to kill, but certainly enough to cause some internal damage.

Not wanting to make this go any longer than usual, I leaped in order to give the orange one a similar treatment. I was, predictably, interrupted.

The white unicorn was firing diamond shaped projectiles at me. Kind of reminded me of something Luna did way back when. Armament Haki covered all the areas that Observation Haki saw getting hit. The reason I didn't use full body? Because I still have a limit to my abilities and I don't really know what these six can do. Yet.

Anyway, dalmatian impressions aside, I ran and firmly grasped her horn. Best way to stop the magic if you can stand the tingliness. I don't know about other universes, but magic here in its raw form has a few properties like lightning. One of the ways is that it seeks out release into the ground, which is a magical sponge. It's absorbed slowly by creatures who are in contact with the ground or are evolved enough that they can forcibly take it from nearly any source. The ways of dispersing the magic is different for every species, but unicorns have the most obvious.

It also makes one hell of a turn on.

Oh don't you judge me! If anything, judge Clover for giving me Fifty Shades of Hay. I had immediately made it one of my life goals to burn every copy of that filth. Weirdest boner ever…

She looked like she was going to melt in my touch before using a focused blast of Conqueror Haki at her. That only seemed to daze her further though. Interesting.

I threw her into the orange mare before turning to the other three. The yellow one looked like she was about to piss herself, the purple one was just dumbfounded at what just happened. And the pink-

Splat!!!

I tried desperately to clear my face of this-

“Hold up a moment,” I said. “Was that a freakin pie?”

“Yeppers,” the pink one exclaimed. “I baked it with my own two hands!” She then proceeded to pull a perfect chocolate pie out of her hair. She threw it at my face again, but I made no movement to dodge. My brain was just paused.

“D-do you have a lemon margarine pie in there would you,” I asked the pink confectionary goddess. “And maybe a fork?”

Rooting through her hair, she pulled out the requested items, the former looking like the most beautiful thing in the world.

“M-may I,” I asked, hands indicating towards the food.

“Of course,” she said merrily. “Not everyday an enemy literally asks for one of my delicious babies!”

She placed it in my hand, my eyes hardly believing that this was actually in front of me. Grabbing the fork, I slowly took out a portion of the pie and brought it towards my mouth.

But alas, fate was not kind this day.

A purple blast of magic fired, hitting the baked good, knocking it out of my hand and being pulled by gravity.

Both me and the pink pony stood there, blankly staring at the poor Pie-sama. We fell to our hands and knees, proceeding to anime mourn. 'Twas a sad day.

“N-no… Pie-sama was so young,” I mumbled.

“Nopie deserves this kind of fate,” she agreed, her mane having gone flat.

“Oh come on,” the unicorn shouted. “All of this over a pie? Aren't you two overreacting?”

“You try going fifteen hundred plus years not being able to eat your favorite food and tell me how you react,” I shot back.

She visibly cringed at the thought.

“Pie is a very serious matter, Twilight,” the pink one told the now identified Twilight. “After all, it is in my name.”

For some reason, she started cradling my head. Not going to lie, it was kind of soothing. “Don't worry, Zorry, we can get you another one later.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely!” Oh hey, poofy hair is back! “No come back up and let's get back into the swing of things!”

Standing back up, I glanced at the crime scene. “You shall be avenged, oh delicious one.”

“Seriou-WHOA!” I grabbed Twilight’s horn. I know what your thinking, but unicorns relied on mostly magic when it comes to fighting, which is total bullshit if you ask me. Now, if one has the literal Element of Magic as a cutie mark (ugh, I fell less masculine whenever I say that) you can bet your virginity I'm taking her magic out of the equation.

I would’ve sent in some good old CH if I didn't know any better. This one had a strong spirit, so all I would do to her was intimidate the unicorn.

Trying out the same trick twice, I threw her at the pink one, and both crashed into a wall.

I turned to the last one, who was shivering at the sight of me. Poor girl, probably had a serious case of anxiety. That and a heaping dose of fear.

“Are you going to try anything,” I asked the yellow pegasus. “Because if not, then take care of your friends.”

“W-why?” Oh for the love of taijutu this was getting to be an old question.

“Have you provoked me?” Head shake. “Are you planning on attacking me?” Another. “Then you’ve got nothing to fear.”

She nodded meekly and ran over to her four-

… where was Skittles?

BOOM!!!

I looked up to see the sky literally exploded into a rainbow! It would've been amazing to look at had it not been for the rainbow missile of a body headed straight for me at mach 3!

Oh sweet cheesus I hope I can do this idea that may or may not be ultimately retarded. Wait, wasn’t that most of my plans? Eh, whatever.

I raised my arm into the air, coating it with Armament and focused on the pegasus with Observation. I needed to time this perfectly.

As she neared the castle, I was tightly strung, any moment about to give.

She burst through at a blinding speed. I brought down my arm.

So you guys know how Luffy beat Bellamy? Well, I just did that. And I feel so badass right now!

Just the feeling of the wind was almost enough to knock me down, but I managed to make a crater with the now unconscious equine just twitching as her cheek sported a fancy imprint of my fist. All the while I was looking like a baller!

Today was a good day.

Kind of.

“I-i-is s-she okay or…?”

“No worries, Butters,” I said. “Wasn’t enough force to kill. Brain damage though? Most likely.”

“My name’s fluttershy…”

“What was that?”

“F-Fluttershy.”

“Cute name, kid. Now, do you want to take care of them or…?” She squeaked and proceeded to do first aid to her friends.

Turning over to the two alicorns, I realized that they had enough time to recharge.

Now, lesson two about magic: If one could identify magic in the area, they could absorb it. Granted, if they absorb too much then they’ll be re enacting that once scene from Scanners. And you all know what I’m talking about when I say that that isn’t a good outcome. And considering the amount the two sisters can hold, well, they took a long time getting charged up. Right now, they were probably acting on 50%.

“Thou hast hurt our little ponies for the last time, Demon,” Luna said.

“Isn’t that what you usually say before you attack me,” I asked her. Oh the blush was spectacular.

“That matters not,” the elder one said. Wait, why were they acting so calm? Were they…?

Holding hands, they both started to glow. Oh shit this was not good! I mean, I could handle it just fine but this usually led to a shit ton of collateral damage. And we were on a ruined castle that was a stone’s throw away from a canyon that ended with a massive river. And there were six civilians in the area.

In layman's terms: Shit be wack, yo!

“FUSION MAGIC: FA-” I rushed over as fast as I could, grabbed their head, literally ripped them apart from each other, and proceeded to slam the two of them into the ground.

“Great idea,” I sarcastically said. “No really, bringing out your heavy hitter while in a disaster zone that could potentially get those six murdered. Killer plan, you two.” Both of their eyes went wide as they just realized their mistakes. Honestly, their train of thought was like that of a stampede; Run this direction and stop for nothing! Logic be damned it seemed. “I have a great idea instead of all this fighting.

“Let’s try talking out our feelings.”

I got a mumbled ‘huh’ out of both of them.
> Ch 5: Reasons
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 5: Reasons

===[Zoro's POV]===

So I sat inside a building that was quite literally a library inside of a tree, drinking the most lovely tasting zebafrican red tea, with the two sisters along with their Element bearers seated around a table eyeing me wearily. At least, all except for Rainbow. She was currently in the hospital nursing a massive concussion and a fractured skull.

What can I say, it was self defense.

“This is a lovely tea, Sir Spike,” I told the young drake. “Would you kindly get me another glass?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he said, taking my cup back to the kitchen. If I had to guess, he was an arcano dragon. Very rare breed, and powerful if raised right.

“This is nice,” I muttered. And it really was. No head hunts at the moment, no fighting or shouting. Just a nice little afternoon with my would be rivals. Hey, they pushed for it.

“What do you want, Zoro,” Celestia asked me. Always the serious one.

“What I want is for there to be no more head hunts,” I said. “I think I’ve served my time, thank you very much.”

“You-”

“No,” I interrupted the orange mare, whom I now know as Applejack. “You try being hunted down for eight years and then becoming sentient stone for the next fifteen hundred.” What I playing this card too much? I probably was, but it was a great way of guilt tripping them.

“So how did you redirect the Elements,” Flutters asked. “I didn’t know anyone could do that.” She was much more confident around me now, after seeing that I wasn't some sort of horrible monster. Probably helps that she likes animals and I told her my similarities to monkeys.

“I didn't,” I said as the young drake returned, beautiful cup in my hands. “I simply dodged.”

The next minute was full of them saying how it was impossible to have dodged their Friendship Cannon of Rainbows.

“Okay then, tell me, what were your thoughts when firing the Elements?”

“Stop being a meanie pants.”

“Ah don’ know, do somethin’.”

“To seal you back in stone.”

“To stop harming the Princesses.”

“To become nice.”

“And there’s my point,” I said, taking a sip of the tea. “Your thoughts weren’t properly synced up, so you couldn't actually control what they did, only the general direction of where they went. They are just a tool that will go down the path of least resistance, from purification to petrification. If you were more ‘harmonious’ in what you wanted them to do, we wouldn't be having this conversation.” Probably. I mean, I am a character from One Piece. Impossible has no say there.

“How… do you know all this,” Celestia asked, eyes narrowing at my explanation.

“My friend, Clover. She did a whole research project on it while studying under Beardy.”

“Clover,” Twilight said excitedly. “As in Clover the Clever, apprentice to Starswirl the Bearded! One of the most accomplished unicorns in history!”

“Yep, that's the one,” I said. I looked down at my drink, my features softening. Damn I missed that bitch, even with all of her attitude and yelling at me. She made a mean stew.

“Tell me all abou-”

“Now is not the time to indulge in idle banter, young Twilight,” Luna said impatiently.

“Isn't that what we’re here for though?” She sent a choking glare my way. “Yesh, tough crown. So, what do the two demigod princesses want to know, exactly?”

“I have thought over your words for a millennium and a half, and I have changed a few of my ways in small ways,” Celly told me. “So I've decided that, since we know one side of the story, tell us how the minotaurs came to fear you as they did. It should be a most amusing story.”

“I'm proud of you, Sunny,” I said, eye widening. “You've grown up.”

She chuckled slightly. “After my life, I've had to.”

“Alrighty then,” I said, drinking the last of my tea. “Long ago, in a country far, far away…”

===[1508 years ago, Minos Kingdom]===

A small fire burned before me, a cockatrice being roasted to a crisp. Sometimes, I wonder how dead I'd be if I didn't have Zoro’s body.

I've spent a year here since I bought that earring and I have to say, I'm kind of impressed. With all the crazy shit I've seen, I know for a fact that I wouldn't make it out here on my own. Well, maybe. Those horse furries seem very skittish to be perfectly honest.

So what was there to do for a seventeen year old, abused boy with the body of one overpowered anime swordsman to do? Well, what I did was wander around a shit ton. Yep, rumors of a deformed Minotaur wielding three swords have been spread in hushed whispers. Still hurt that they thought that I was deformed.

I've mostly used that time to get familiar with my new limits. A lot of what I do is mostly muscle memory (wonder why?), and Haki was fairly easy to pick up. Granted I failed at first but hey, I've got it down well enough. It was also a challenge learning how to hold back. Even in the show, Zoro had a hard time holding back. Luckily, I'm not him 100%. I can mostly reign in my power when need be, but it's still difficult to control.

Another thing was getting to know my swords better. Don't look at me like that, it's true. I don't know how to explain it but all of these swords had a kind of… presence to them. Wado Ichimonji was calming, like the kind of feeling when near an old, trusted friend. Shusui was like a grandfather in a way, undeniably old and a feeling of wisdom came from it. Sandai Kitetsu was… slightly worrying. Like the pirate hunter once said, it would be a problem child.

So, as I waited for my food to continue roasting, my haki picked up three somethings coming my way from around fifty meters North-ish. Wasn’t on the level of city scouting yet but it was great for scouting. Well, I can’t kill my fire and hide my tracks that fast, so I’ll just wait. Waiting is always good. Less stress.

So as I turned the chicken-like creature (it honestly tasted like a mix of snake and turkey) on the spit one more time, they entered the clearing.

Two minotaurs and a griffon. One minotaur was grey and muscular, covered in leather armor. The other one was a chestnut brown and slimmer than the other, with golden armor and weapons. The griffon was silver with a black cloak and a bow strapped onto her back.

“This was what made the trail we were following? I thought it would be some sort of horrifying monster, not this! And what are you even supposed to be,” the golden warrior asked, snorting a bit.

“Hungry,” I sarcastically said before taking a bite of my dinner. Cockatrice always tasted weird… “and you might make me Annoyed.” What can I say, sarcasm is a teen’s favorite weapon!

He was apparently upset with my answer as he slowly started turning red. The griffon was stifling a laugh.

“You dare mock me, Prince Iron Bull! I will have your head, you dull creature!”

“Well, you see,” I started. “That would be intimidating if you were, well, intimidating.” What can I say, gotta love references. “But I implore you, leave before you regret it.”

Quick lesson in pride; Minotaurs have a lot of it. And if anything dismisses them, to them, it’s like taking a bullet to the ass. Embarrassing. It’s even worse for adolescents, due to them being so bull headed (Ha, puns!) and full of confusing hormones. And because of him being a prince, it was probably worse by 10x.

So he mooed, which was worthy of my chuckle, took his axe, and was about to hit me with his third head. Luckily, the grey one tried to stop him.

“Lord, please don’t be rash about this! We don’t even know who or what that is!” I’m a he and hungry.

“Yeah, this is probably a bad idea,” the griffon, probably female, said. “I’m getting bad vibes from him.”

“I don’t care,” he retorted cleverly. “He mocked me, so his head will adorn my wall!” Yeesh, harsh much? I pulled out my sword as he rushed me, for all intents and purposes, trying to kill me. I deflected the blade and used my own attack.

I cut one of his horns off.

Lesson two about minotaurs kiddies; Their machismo revolves around their horns. The bigger and stronger the horns, the stronger they appear and are more likely to get mates. I only learned years later that cutting off a horn was one of the worst punishments to them. It goes back to an old tyrant of theirs who favored cutting them off of foes that he defeated and paraded them around for their failure before throwing them into his dungeons. Nowadays, it’s seen as telling your opponent that they aren’t even a worthy enough challenge to kill or that you aren’t worth bearing the name of the species.

At the time, I thought that it was a simple way to intimidate him. Instead, I humiliated him on a major scale.

He froze as he stared at the fallen… what’s a clever word for horn? Eh, whatever, I'm not webster’s favorite novel. Anywho, he stared at it and just went f***ing berserk. He was like a tiny stampede with an axe. I focused a fair amount of Observation into his moves and just dodged until I saw an opening.

I brought down the hilt of my sword down onto his skull. A sickening crack filled the air before he fell like a sack of wet potatoes. And now I knew how much of an apt phrase it was.

“My prince!” The grey minotaur rushed to grab his charge(?) as the one horned minotaur crashed into the ground. As he checked to see if he was alive, which he was, I put my sword away and resumed my dinner.

One should never interrupt me while eating.

He swore vengeance on me or something and promptly left with the unconscious bull. I offered the griffon a bit of meat and we just talked. Weird way to meet someone, but hey, I’m me.

Eventually I learned her name. Artemis.

===[Present, Golden Oak Library]===

“... and after that, the prince just started sending hunters and bounty hunters after me. When he inherited the throne, out came armies, and the rest is history.”

The room was silent as they absorbed the information. After a minute of silence and me finishing my cup(I was really going to need to go to the bathroom soon), Twilight turned to Applejack.

“Was he telling the truth?”

She looked a little annoyed at the question.

“Look, ya’ll,” she started. “Jus’ ‘cause Ah’m the Element of Honesty doesn’t make me a lie detector. Do Ah think he’s got a reason to lie? No, he don’t. Do Ah believe him? Ah’ll take his word on it an’ take it with a grain o’ salt.”

“‘Tis an untrue statement, Lady Applejack,” Luna said. “The Elements give their bearers certain abilities depending on the Element. Honesty give thee the ability to detect lies and subterfuge if they focus. Generosity allows thee to see the worth in everything before thy eyes. Laughter is able to affect the moods of those surrounding the bearer. Kindness is capable of persuading almost any creature to do as the bearer asks of those folk at when they put their mind to it.. Loyalty increases the physical abilities of the bearer. And Magic increases the mana pool pool and the leadership arts of the owner.” Now it was Luna’s turn to become the center of attention.

“Um, why didn’t anyone tell us,” the pegasus mumbled. “I mean, it seems like something important to mention…”

“They were probably holding the info until it was useful to the story,” Pinkie said. “It's what I’d do.”

I was about to make one of my ever so witty comments when I smelled something burning. Turning to the smell, I almost felt sorry for the chair and tea cup.

Celestia’s calm, motherly mask was crumbling, revealing a seriously pissed off demigod figure. “So, you mean to tell me,” she spit out, making most ponies and the dragon flinch as they heard the venom in her words. “That we sent thousands of our ponies to die, hunting down a single creature, all because some headstrong bucking calf got his horn cut off! Because of his hurt bucking pride!”

I nodded. That seemed to rile her up even more. Knowing what the end result might be, I gave her advice.

Pointing my thumb south-east, I said, “Go to the edge of town, and there’s no sapient life for kilometers that way.”

“Thank you,” she angrily muttered before walking out. Twilight was about to go after her, but Luna grabbed her shoulder, shaking her head.

“‘Tis best not to be close to Our sister when she’s…”

“Angry?”

“Upset?”

“Nettled?”

“Pissed,” she said.

Before anyone could make a comment, they heard a roar.

“RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!”

An intense heatwave was felt by everyone present. And before you say anything, I’m not switching over to their native lingo anytime soon. The six girls rushed to the door to see their benevolent diarch level a good portion of the scary woods.

“Why aren’t you more upset,” I asked the lunar princess.

“We have spent the last thousand years trapped upon Our moon from our anger and jealousy. We have been attending anger management, in hopes of-”

“Not repeating your tantrum?”

She breathed in heavily through her nose and out her mouth. “Not Our first choice of words, but yes. We’ve also been waiting for a good fight to let it all go at once.” Ah, yes. Anger always comes out cleaner when you beat the crap out of someone. Have fun with violence, kiddies!

“S-should we be worried,” the drake asked us. “I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Princess like that.”

“Believe Us,” Luna told him, “when We say that she used to blow up at the littlest things before. ‘Twas quite humorous when We were younger. It became an issue when we ascended to the thrones.”

“Huh, did she ever do the whole ‘Fiery Death from Above’ thing when going against anyone?”

“Nay, just thou.”

“Neat.” In case you’re wondering, Observation haki. It’s literally my answer to everything.

It was at that moment when Miss Supernova decided to reappear inside the tree house. Oh my Tao I just got the joke! TREE HOUSE!

…

…I’m a f***ing retard.

“I apologize for the way I conducted myself there,” Celly said before sitting back down. More than a few of them were slightly leaning away after that display of power that she had.

“It’s, um, alright, your Majesty,” Rarity said, trying to be not freaked out.

“Ah’d be rightly mad if Ah heard something like that about mah family,” AJ said.

“Well, now we must decide on what to do with you, Zoro,” the Solar Princess said.

“What,” I moaned. “I’ve told you already, I’ve done my time and took my chances. What else are you gonna do?”

“Seeing as how all you’ve done is under the name of self-defence, just in case, you shall be put under parole for an indefinite amount of time.”

I narrowed my eyes. “And who, dare I ask, would be my parole officer? As far as I can tell, you can’t forcibly detain me.”

She got one of those smiles going on. The one that mothers usually have when giving her young child a piece of paper and asking them to make a birthday card. It will end horribly but will be amusing.

“Why, none other than my student here,” Celestia said, motioning towards the lavender unicorn.

Said unicorn was frozen like a deer in headlights, which is a fitting metaphor. Eyes were saucer-sized and mouth acting as though it was a gasping fish.

“Yeeeaaah, I’m going to have to say no on that,” I said. “I’m not going to have bookworm there breathing down my neck 24/7. Why not you two?”

“We don’t have as much free time as We did those many years ago,” Luna stated, arms crossed over her chest. “Our sister has Day Court and We must attend speech therapy.”

“Why?” She just stared at me as her words, ironically, sank in. “Never mind.”

“And why not give one of our most dangerous enemies into the custody of the Elements of Harmony?”

“Because I still kicked your ass. Look, can’t I just stay the scary monster of the Everfree? Not like I’ll go attacking anyone there. Well, except for the cragodiles…”

“No, I have made my mind on this. You will stay here with Twilight Sparkle.”

Hmm, now that I think about it…

Pros: I’ll be in civilization, where I’ll be able to get information better and indoor plumbing. It wasn’t invented way back when, so yay. And if I wait things out, I’ll be able to eventually do my own thing without being attacked instantly.

Cons: Be a ‘prisoner’ and possible research subject if some of the other Displaced were correct.

Well, logic dictates…

“Fine,” I said, huffing a bit. “I’ll play your game. But you better expect that I’ll go out every once and awhile.”

“That’s all I can hope for,” she said. “Come, Luna, let’s go explain this to the nobles.”

Both of the princesses teleported out of the room, leaving me with six unfamiliar bodies who say me as possible public enemy number one. The pink one was about to say something, but I clamped my hand around her lips.

“No. Shouting.”

She nodded and whispered something about parties.

Why do I feel as though I might regret staying.

===[3rd POV]===

Three figures sat in a cavern, a crystal ball before them.

“Are you sure these are correct,” the first figure asked with a gravelly voice. He was of massive build, arguably larger than the other two combined

“I’m not some newly hatched nymph,” the second, distinctly female, voice stated. “These are as good as you’ll get given the circumstances. It’s hard looking for those without magical signatures, but those surrounding him act as a decent anchor. The void stuff and Tartarus residue will give you only the images of their person,not the area.”

“Good,” he said, crossing his legs. “Brother, I think it might be time to move onto Phase 2. Make sure that the soldiers are ready for it to comense.”

The third one, just as tall as the first but noticeably skinnier, nodded. “I’m on it, bro!” He and the female left the first voice to his own devices, as they usually did. It was never wise to let him wait for results.

The figure stared at the green clad swordsman through the magic orb. A wide grin spread across his face. “Brook, Nico Robin, Vinsmoke Sanji, and Roronoa Zoro, eh? This certainly is getting interesting. Zehahaha!”
> Ch 6: Swordsman's Probation
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6: Swordsman’s Probation

===[???]===

I sat alone in a pool of blood. The coppery smell was overpowering, nearly blocking out all other sensations. The thick liquid was soaking into my clothes, turning them from their forest green color to a dull crimson.

The red liquid was pouring out from… somewhere. Above me was simply an unending abyss, pure black with no hope of light ever escaping. I didn't know where it ended or began.

I only knew the smell of blood.

Parts of the pool around me started bubbling, but I paid them no mind.

I only focused on the blood.

Hands and paws and talons reached out and grasped around for me, but I paid no heed.

All of this blood on my hands.

When they grabbed me, I awoke from my stupor. I saw what was the source of the waters of wasted life.

Desecrated corpses, hundreds of them, hung over me. Ponies, dragons, griffons, you name it. Almost every sentient species stood up in that terrible abyss. Out of their pained face was it coming from. The eye sockets were empty and sunken, but it flowed. The mouths were hung open in an eternal scream of horror, but instead of sound it was that damn blood.

The bodies of those beneath the Red Sea came to the surface. Twisted and malformed were they, empty eye sockets that bore straight into my very soul. Hundreds upon thousands crawled towards me, a low moan emoting from their horrifying faces.

I wanted to run.

Run away, so very far away.

But I couldn't.

Hands and paws and talons met their target. Me.

I was being pulled down. Down into the very pits of Hell from whence they came, hoping to make their eternal pain known to me.

I reached out for something, anything to save me from the metallic taste that was entering my mouth, attempting to drown me. I reached out as far as I could. My head was below the surface, but I kept reaching.

And I felt a hand.

I held onto it, hard. I felt a pulling sensation and felt a strain on my body. When I broke the surface before me was what could only be described as angelic.

Princess Luna held onto me firmly, magic and wings focused on saving me.

“Zoro,” she said, her voice was thick with strain. “Thou art safe, 'tis only a nightmare! Thou must wake up, Zoro!”

I looked down and saw horror. From the pool of blood was an army of  bodies, all connected to me, trying to pull me back down. They were climbing over each other, trying to get to me.

I looked up and prayed that she could get me out of this. More appendages met my body and were slowly climbing up. The strain on the lunar alicorn was great, sweat dripping from her brow. The moaning was mind numbingly loud, threatening to burst my eardrums. I felt their clammy hands grasping onto my face, wet and wrinkly.

“Please, thou must-” She paused and stared at the body that was now leaning over my shoulder. It used to be a royal blue thestral with an ebony mane and a regal face. Now, it was a twisted monster that even demons wouldn't touch. “S-Star Shield?!”

Her grasped lessened. Not much, but enough. Enough to let me slip. Enough for them to pull me down into the blood. That endless ocean of blood.

All of the blood on my hands.

===[Zoro’s POV]===

I jolted up, hand grasping at my heart. Sweat was dripping down my face, proof that I did indeed have another nightmare. F***.

“Damn, third one this week.” These have been plaguing me ever since I've come to sleep underneath the roof of Celestia’s Protégé. Luna’s tried talking to me about what could make it so her interactions in my dreamscape were less useful than party tricks, but I shrug it off as me being human. She doesn't buy it, but hey, humans are used to dealing with crazy dreams on our own. I'll live-

Oh, now I done made myself sad.

A few raps on the door pulled me back into reality. Maybe. This could all be one trippy dream still.

“Zoro, it’s Spike,” the dragon said through the door. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Thanks,” I told him. I heard him walk down the stairs, scales scraping on wooden floors. Bless that drake, he works harder than anyone I’ve met and he always finds time to help others.

I got out of my bed, which was admittedly a tad small, and stretched.

Clearing those evil dreams from my current attention, I got around to doing my now normal routine.

Put on my clothes, go downstairs, eat breakfast, avoid answering any of Egghead’s questions with cryptic responses, and train.

My version of training is almost like the actual Zoro’s, with the difference of using Armament to cover a massive boulder with a stick impaled in it for as long as humanly possible. Caused a bit of a stir when Egghead came by.

Speaking of my parole officer, she’s been handing me off under her friend’s supervision when doing something important or when I wander off. Pinks was kind enough to make me another pie. It was a good afternoon all around. Much less mourning then the first pie attempt.

Butters tried to get her animals to be kind towards me, but because my Haki was so powerful, I couldn’t turn off the animal intimidation part of it. One rabbit even fainted at the sight of me.

Curls tried getting me a new wardrobe, which involved me standing around stock still for an hour. Needless to say, she learned why all of my clothes were a bit loose or baggy.

Apple tried making me buck down a few apples. She now has to replace a dozen trees.

And Rainbow was supposed to be getting out of the hospital soon, so I haven’t really had much interaction with her.

It was around the afternoon when anything exciting happened.

There I was, on my sixth set of one hundred reps, when my haki picked up on three familiar ponies coming my way. Quick fact, I’m still not good at using both Observation and Armament at the same time without dulling one. For example, when using Armament like I was, I could only use Observation in a fifty meter radius. I was working on fixing it.

“Please stop looking at me like I’m Bigfoot,” I shot behind me, where the three kids were hiding.

The bush behind me shuddered before three figures fell out of said shrubbery.

“H-How did you know we were there,” a scratchy voice asked.

“We were all quiet-like, too,” a southern-accented voice said.

“Was it your weird magic,” the squeaky voice asked.

“To be fair,” I said, putting down my training equipment and retracting my haki. “You girls aren’t really the quietest group of troublemakers. Now why are you hanging around the same area as a dangerous felon?” Honestly, even Earth kids had more brains than a lot of adults here. Don't go near a dangerous person, and if you do, have a gun. One of these kids had a butterfly net! That wouldn't do shit!

The orange one pouts at that. “Well, we decided to make sure you don’t do anything evil.” The other two shouted in agreement.

“Sure, because three kids can stop me,” I deadpanned. “Look, just go home or something. You can get seriously hurt if you hang around here.”

“Nope,” the white one said. “We’re staying right here!”

“An’ there ain't nothin’ you can do to stop us,” the souther- you know what, nicknames for them too!

Zoe, Jessie, and Bella! Boom, done! Good job brain!

I sighed. Fine, whatever. It was just creepy having these kids watch me. Reminded me of the Shining.

I turned back to my boulder. It was a nice boulder. Grabbing the piece of wood, I enveloped it back into my Haki and restarted my training. The girls silently watched me for around five minutes.

“Sooo… how are you doing that black thing with the rock? Some kind of magic,” Bella asked.

“Not everything that's done in the world requires magic,” I told her. “That said, this is haki.”

“That's not hockey,” Zoe pointed out. “You’re not on ice or anything.”

“Not hockey. Haki. H-A-K-I. It's basically spiritual energy.”

“An’ magic is different, how,” Jessie asked.

“Magic is a tool. This is literally an extension from yourself, of your soul.” That got some wide eyes from that. 

Three minutes later was another question.

“Can you show us some sword moves?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't want to.”

I was then bombarded by three pairs of puppy eyes. They were so cute, I could have said-

“No.” Mwahaha! Evil reigns!

“Awww…”

Another two minutes…

“Why do ya got three swords?”

“Because I use all three of them.”

“How?”

“One in each hand, and one in my mouth.”

“Isn't that a but unhygienic and dangerous?”

“Girly, you're talking to a criminal who was previously held up in the Everfree. All I care about is that it works.” And I look like a total badass while doing it.

Another minute...

“This is boring,” the orange one said.

“Training is always boring for the spectator.”

“Then why the hay are you doing it?”

I brought down the boulder with more force than need be, but it sent a gust of wind their way.

“I'm a swordsman. That means that I need to be in complete control of my weapons. One slip up and I could die. This helps with dealing with the momentum of a swing. I need to correctly stop it in the exact same spot with no deviance throughout my training.”

“How hard is it,” Bella asked, eyes filled with awe.

“Extremely.”

Three ‘wows’ later and we went back to the relative silence.

Not going to lie, my Haki was starting to wear out. I've been doing this for an hour, and that seemed to be the limit of my Armament. I needed it to be at least three hours nonstop.

I set it down, taking off my Haki. I then sat cross legged and closed my eyes.

“Now I'm meditating, and that requires a peaceful environment. It also means I'll be doing nothing for the next hour, so go away.”

I heard three sets of hoofsteps leave and I sighed.

“What is with you ponies and thinking you can sneak up on me? Get down here.”

Hearing a few wing flaps and hooves touching the ground, I cracked my eyes open to see Rainbow Dash, the Girl who Exploded. She had a few bandages here and there, but the largest was on her head. Probably dealing with a headache.

“You must think you’re pretty cool, huh,swinging that rock around,” she stated. “Well, keep away from those fillies, or we’ll have a serious problem.”

“Look, I didn't even want them here to begin with. They just stared at me like some sort of zoo exhibit. Kind of weirded me out.”

“Whatever. I'm just here for Twilight, making sure you don't do anything stupid.”

Huh, doesn't that sound familiar.

“Just tell Egghead to stop sending your friends to watch me, Rainbow. I don't think Curls can stomach my charming personality.” Or my flexing off the clothes she makes.

“Hey, don't call my friends that! You damn well know their names!”

“I do, but they haven't earned my respect.”

She crossed her arms and scowled. “Explain.”

“You and your friends are a forced addition on my life. And so far, the most they've done for me was either attack me, played detainee, or smashed my pie. None of those are really respectable. As far as I see, you're the only one out of them I really respect.” Rainbow actually was stunned by my comment. “You may have been hot headed and brash, but you've got a strong spirit, dedicated to your craft from what I hear, and you flew at me faster then anything I've ever seen before. Plus, you exploded in order to help your friends. So, I respect you, and I call you and only you by your actual name. The others have to earn it.”

She was silent for a minute before finally saying anything.

“Well, I'm going to practice some tricks out. Don't you move or else!”

“Wasn't planning on it.”

So she left me to do my meditation, which wasn't me napping. It was a legitimate way for me to control my emotions. How? Well, I am a Taoist, and you can go look up that shit on Wiki if you don't know about it, so add that in with a few movies and shows and I've got the gist of it.

That went on for an hour until my shackle decided to come pick me up.

Let me tell you, teleporting is only sickening to the stomach if you're either magic resistant or you have no magic. And it doesn't get better. Ever. Poor mop…

===ooo000ooo===

Dinner had come and left, and everyone was going to bed.

“Zoro,” Egghead called after me. “Swords?”

Right. This thing. One of the living conditions was that I had to give them over to the lavender unicorn when it was time for sleep. Through sheer determination and stubbornness, I talked her into letting me keep one with me. I chose Kitetsu, my cursed sword. I remember it's curse, and even though I've managed to keep it mostly under control, I wasn't trusting it with anyone except me.

I handed her Wado Ichimonji and Shusui, albeit hesitantly.

“Thank you,” she said. “Tomorrow, Princess Celestia is coming over for a picnic, so please try to be a tad nicer.”

I simply scoffed, went to my room, and listed down. My Haki picked up on where she put my katanas and when she and Spike went to bed.

I waited another hour before I did my nightly routine.

See, as I didn't want them to know about my agenda, which was confirming a theory I had behind the recent Devil Fruits incidents, I waited until they had all gone to bed.

See, Observation has a passive ability that is extremely useful in certain scenarios. It allows you to kind of see how someone actually feels or their true emotions, each had their own distinct color. Blue for calm, red for angry, pink for lustful, so on and so forth. What the color I'm focusing on signifies sleep or unconsciousness, black with a dark blue outline. The brain usually turns off consciousness the first few hours of sleep, then dreams come in the later times. And I spent the first two days trying to figure out if they were light or heavy sleepers. My luck once again held out as they wouldn't wake up for shit.

Being as quiet as possible, I creeped down the stairs into the main library. I covered my right fingers in Armament and willed the black fire into being. I wasn't stupid enough to use one of the candles here as Egghead usually took inventory in the morning, and would notice a used or missing candle, and my fire leaves no smoke or smell. My Conqueror took care of her pet owl, so now all that stood in my way was her arrangement system.

Upon reaching the nonfiction section, I looked around until I found what I was looking for.

“Magical and Unusual Flora of Equestria, by Nepeta Cataria.”

“Alright, let's see what they've got here…”
> Ch 7: Swordsman's Patience
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 7: Swordsman’s Patience

===[???]===

I was running. Running as fast as I could.

I dared not turn back, as I would see the face of the monster.

The one monster that I couldn’t bring myself to face.

My feet were running faster than what should’ve been physically possible, but I could still feel his breath on my neck. That putrid, nauseating breath that carried with it the stench of stale alcohol and tobacco.

The filthy halls surrounding me, once a pure white, were now soiled yellow in color, both disgusting to see and touch.

I just needed to keep running.

But I wasn’t fast enough.

I felt glass shards erupt against my back, flaying the skin that covered me. I could feel the warm liquid seep out, the pieces of glass wedging themselves deeper into me. I wanted to cry out in pain. Wanted to just keep it all away. I wanted to fight.

But I couldn’t.

He now had his hands on me, pressing me down into the ground to force me into submission. I tried squirming, but nothing I did could stop him.

I screamed loudly while he was laughing at my pointless struggle.

I was afraid.

===[Zoro’s POV]===

It was an hour before the sun was to rise when I shot up in my bed. I covered my face to attempt to stop the flow of tears, to take all the fear away.

That was one of the worst ones that I’ve had. No matter how many times I have it, it is always as terrible as the first.

My usual nightmares were caused by guilt of those who met their end by my blades. This one was created by one of my fears.

I… won’t inform you of the details. Let’s just say that there’s a reason that I don’t care if I ever go back to Earth.

I got up and did my routine, but I made sure that the other two occupants had breakfast ready. I wasn’t that great a cook, but it would fill them up.

Damn, when did my inner monologue get to be so depressing?

“Come on, Zoro,” I told myself. “They’re just nightmares. Nothing to get depressed about.” This wouldn’t do. No, I needed to be my chipper, sarcastic self. That’s right, just keep wearing my mask. The one that says ‘Come at me World, I’ll take you down with a witty comeback!’

WIth that in mind, I did my jog around the town, focusing myself with what I found out last night. Which was jack shit.

The book had nothing in it about Devil Fruits or anything remotely similar to them. Same could be said in almost every book on fruits and plants I could get my hands on. As much as I hate it, I’m going to have to ask someone for help.

I wasn’t the type to usually request assistance, for anything. I was much more of a do it yourself kind of person and didn’t want to involve others. And since I was probably one of the few people on this planet with an understanding of Devil Fruits and their weaknesses, I held myself responsible for when anything involving them got out of control. I know, I know, stupid reason, but I was holding myself to that standard because I can.

Devil Fruits are simply tools, immensely powerful tools that could make the right person akin to a demi-god, but tools nonetheless. I will admit that if given the chance, I'd probably eat one, so long as I knew exactly what it was. Ice Ice Fruit, that T-Rex one, definitely. Chop Chop Fruit… not so much.

My inner monologue was interrupted when that blasted ball of plasma that they call the Sun decided to rise. Bad thing about having one eye is that when you get blinded in one eye, you can't see nothing. My point was proven when I then tripped and fell onto the gravel path that I was previously jogging on. I could have sworn I heard a certain whorse chuckling at my expense.

That brought me onto another part of my thought process that was bothering me. The Sisters. Keep in mind that it wasn’t unusual for them to lose against me, but it never took that short of time. Needed to question that when Sunny comes by.

Thirty minutes later and I stumble on something… unusual. Egghead was rushing around, looking like she was about to explode. Walking away very slowly, I decided to make my way towards my usual spot before I was blamed for something that I may or may not have done.

That was, once again, violated by those fillies. Or at least one of them.

Zoe was using a stick in place of a sword, swinging it around like what you’d find them do in anime.

I sighed. “You’re posture is all wrong and those forms won’t do shit against anyone with half a brain.” She stiffened and laughed nervously.

“H-hey Mister Zoro,” she said. “Just wanted to, um, play swordsmare! Yep, that’s it!” Uh huh, definitely not being a stalker.

“The art of the sword isn’t a child’s game,” I deadpanned. “It takes commitment and perseverance. One does not simply swing a sharp piece of metal and declaring themselves swordsmen.” All too often it lead to an untimely fate…

I turned and proceeded to do the previous training I was yesterday, with a new voice asking me all sorts of inane questions. I gave her a few pointers, showed her the correct forms, and told her of my advice. It was a good time, really was. Then training somehow turned into her telling stories about all the crazy stuff that happens here.

“... and then she left all of them in the dust like they were nothing,” she ranted on, telling me a story of how Rainbow had beaten four other stallions in a race.

“Sounds like you really admire her.”

“I do! She’s, like, the coolest pegasus to ever live! She even told me she’d help me learn to fly!”

I stopped mid swing and looked at her. It wasn’t unusual for pegasai to not be able fly in their early years, but she seemed around eleven or twelve. Well past the age they learn.

“Mind showing me how you do it, kid?” She nodded and proceeded to flap her wings. Hard. It was like watching a bumble bee, her wings were going so fast. It was interesting to see on my end, especially with me focusing my Observation on her. And now I saw the problem.

“Well here’s the thing, you’re flapping your wings wrong.”

She was very shocked to hear my diagnosis. “What are you talking about? Rainbow said to flap my wings as hard and fast as I could, and she’s the best flier there is! What am I doing wrong!”

“You’re flapping them straight up and down when you should go in an O shape. Here, watch.” I stretched my arms out wide and mimicked the action that I see birds and other pegasai do when flying slow enough for her to watch. Bring it up at an angle, straighten them out, and bring them down, and back up. “Your way pushes just as much air up as it does down, so it just cancels each other out.”

The girl looked as though her mind was just blown from the sheer simplicity of the problem before her.

“So the only thing keeping me from flying the way my wings move! You’re a geneious!”

Gee, why can’t everyone else learn that lesson?

Probably because it’s false…

“Don’t they have flight school or something here?”

Shrugging, she told me that she had another two years before being old enough for it to be mandatory, but she figured that she’d be able to do it before then. I swear, these ponies and waiting until the last moment for everything…

Remember kids, complacency leads to problems coming back to bite you in the ass. Learned that lesson all too quickly.

And thus began a very, very quick crash course on her techniques for just about everything.

When did my training lead to teaching. I swear it’s just like with Baskerville… 

===ooo000ooo===

An hour later and Pinks found us, grabbed me and ran, yelling about a picnic. I actually forgot about that!

It was a nice little place to hold a picnic, picturesque hill with a large oak tree that provided the perfect amount of shade for the red and white checkered blanket laid down on the ground.

By Lao Tzu all of these cliches were going to give me an aneurysm at some point.

I set myself up against the tree all broody style, and closed my eyes until the food and other guests arrived. Me and Sunny were going to have a few words when-

“Heeey, Zoro, buddy ol’ pal! How ya been” a familiar voice said in a sickly sweet voice. To all males present, when women talk like that, they usually want something from you.

I cracked open my eye to see Egghead, who really hadn’t improved since I last saw her. Twitching smile and crazy mane, the pupils were just pinpricks on her widened eyes. She honestly looked as though she was about to go on a murder spree.

“What do you want, Egghead?”

I noticed that Apple was a little annoyed at my nickname for the unicorn, but said nothing.

“Weeell, maybe I just want to get to know my friend better, hmm?”

“We aren’t friends, so go. I’m just here to ask Sunny some questions.” Speaking of which, where is she? Was I on time for once? Was she late? Probably still laughing over this morning.

“Before that, maybe there’s something I can do to help you! I mean, you are the most problematic po- person I know.”

I’m just going to ignore the little insult there and move to the opposite side of the tree. I was then interrupted by Miss Purple again.

“Well, maybe we could do something before the Princess gets here, yes? Anything you want to share!”

Of all the things I am, I take pride in my patience. Be it waiting for anything exciting to happen or just dealing with idiots, I am very patient.

But, add on a week of constant questioning, observation, and testing of everything I do, nightmares that keep me from a decent sleep, plus the fact that I f***ing can't find shit on something I know exists, and you've got one upset anime character. So now I'm almost at my limit when she suddenly decides to invade my personal space, acting like a freaking bomb is about to go off if I don't do something, anything with her.

But I manage to keep my cool, and do one of the more sensible things.

I grab her horn.

That automatically shuts her up and has her staring at her protrusion. It didn't help when I slowly brought my hand up on her horn, or when I brought it back down. Some of her hairs went back in place, and a ferocious blush showed. I thought I heard a few wings stiffen up, but meh.

I used my new handle and brought her to my face. And I vented.

“Listen to me and listen good. We are not friends, nor will we ever be if you keep this up. I know that, to you, I'm just a little side project. A thing to poke at until you understand how it functions. Something for you to show Sunny that you befriended and hope that you get a gold sticker, a pat on the head, and a compliment from your beloved sun goddess. Afterwards, you’ll forget about me until something else big comes up and you need my help. You’ll thank me for maybe a day or two, sure, but then you’ll go back to the same pattern as before. Trust me, I've seen it happen before, and I won't play into it. So we. Are. Not. Friends. I am sick of the shit that you pull, like strapping me to a f***ing shock chair to figure out how my ‘magic’ works or watching me at every moment of the day. So go back to your picnic and enjoy your actual friends, and leave me alone. I'm going for a walk.”

I pushed her with just enough force to send her on her ass and walked off towards the White something Woods.

I needed to cut something desperately.

===[3rd POV]===

The six girls were frozen as the human walked off. All were shocked at what they had just witnessed.

Zoro was dangerous, true, but in the short time they’d known him, the most violent thing he had done to them was the occasional sarcastic remark or breaking Applejack’s trees. He was almost the face of calm.

But what they saw was his mask almost crumbling off. He was downright scary.

Now, they all knew how bad Twilight could get when she wanted to figure out something. Hell, ask Pinkie of the extents she went to figuring out the mare’s Pinkie Sense. But they were all wondering what she did that had set him off like that.

The silence that encompassed the area was interrupted by a blinding flash of gold and a popping sound, the trademarks of teleportation.

Celestia had arrived, wearing her usual Roaman style toga with a sun amulet on the shoulders. A few of them calmed down at the sight of their Diarch.

“Hello, my little ponies,” she said with her usual motherly tone. “I hope that you haven't been waiting long?”

Pinkie was the first to recover, followed by four others. The purple unicorn was still frozen in place, staring at where her charge had wandered off too.

“Twilight, what's the matter,” the alicorn asked her student. She had bent down and had one of her hands on her shoulders, a concerned look on her face. It wasn't like her to just flat out not acknowledge Celestia’s arrival.

“He was right,” she heard Twilight mutter before looking in the same direction her student was. She saw nearly an acre of forest cut down, and heard angry shouting.

Looking back at Twilight, she saw tears forming in her eyes. “He was right…”

Zoro, she thought, what did you do?

Elsewhere, over a certain clubhouse, one of the many fruits that adorned the tree shook. It shook again, and with each one it changed before it resembled a purple fruit with a swirly design all throughout.

A Devil Fruit was reincarnated.
> Crossover 1: Gilgamesh
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crossover 1: Gilgamesh

===[3rd POV]===

It was a beautiful day in the quaint little town known as Ponyville. Pegasi had scheduled for a clear sky, letting those on the ground appreciate the sun’s warmth. It was extremely picturesque.

But then again, it’s always that way before shit hits the fan. This one in the form of a rip in the Void opening in the middle of town. Seeing as something weird was happening and it wasn’t Tuesday, the civilians did the most reasonable thing.

“EVERYPONY FOR THEMSELVES,” a certain pink mare screamed, before the rest of them proceeded to freak the fuck out. Following that, some big thing shot out, flipped and then stuck the mount, raising its hands up in glory.

9.5 9.1 8.7 9.7

ONLY THEN for some green dog thing to shoot out, hit it in the head, knock it flat on its face.

6.7 5.6 6.3 6.9

“OH COME ON, I HAD THAT ONE!” it shouted with its face in the dirt. The dog thing shrugged and walked off.

The big armored creature got up and looked around. “Oh goody, anthro universe. Let’s hope things don’t get too fetishy,” he muttered.

A sudden chill went up his back as he felt the all too familiar sensation of partially playing a role in an obsession.

“Oh boy, what is it this time?” he turned around and immediately saw the source of the crazy. A mint green unicorn wearing a dark red shirt covered by a forest green jacket that had “Praise Yog-Sothoth” written on the back with what looks like a writhing mass of tentacles underneath. But what worried the armored warrior was the remote-microwave fusion thing that kept on beeping.

She waved it around the area in a seemingly random way before having it point towards the massive humanoid, the beeping going crazy. A sinister grin adorned her face, her voice dripping with what seemed like either lust or desire.

“Found you~!”

“NOPE!” it shouted, grabbing his canine friend before jumping up so high nopony could see him anymore.

“WAIT,” she shouted at the sky, magic amplifying her voice to CV level. “LET ME LOVE YOU, VOID MONSTER!!!”

“SORRY! I’M TAKEN!” the thing shouted far from out of her sight.

She looked up for a minute before huffing in anger and walking back towards her house. At least I have my fanfics…

It was another minute before the residents decided to exit their homes to see exactly what the Tartarus had just happened. Many of them were simply staring in the air where the creature jumped before the same pink mare as before moved so fast that she was a blur, moving ponies out of the way of where it should fall.

“WAIT! I NEED TO TAKE YOU TO MEET SOMEPONY!” she shouted as she chased it, looking up the whole time. :3

===[Zoro’s POV]===

Meditation was an essential part of my routine, the clearing of my mind a way to process the extreme craziness that has become my life. It also was nice when Pinks didn’t kidnap me during said session. But as the Rolling Stones say, ‘You can't always get what you want.’
She threw me over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes and jabbered on as we traveled.

“Isawablackholeythingopenupinthetowncenterandeveryponyfreakedoutandthen-” I clamped my hands around her muzzle.

“Small sentence, breathe, and don't mix words together.” It was like talking to a toddler in all honesty. Not that it’s bad, it’s just a bit much sometimes.

“Scary black hole opened up and somepony in armor stepped through. I thought he was your friend so I’m bringing you to him~!”

I sighed in exasperation and just decided to go along with it for the time being. Fighting the Conjurer of Pie was a nigh impossible task. I stayed in broody mode until she planted me down in the middle of town.

I looked around at the surrounding ponies until my eyes became fixated on the armored warrior. At least eight feet tall, covered in ashen armor, a crimson scarf billowing behind him. In his hand was a Naginata, an old japanese weapon if I remember correctly. I felt as though I had seen him before, but it was on the tip of my tongue-

“Oh sweet Laozi, you’re Gilgamesh! Another human!” I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around him. “It’s been to freaking long since I’ve seen another human!”

“Huh. Haven’t been hugged by a guy before. Let me guess, you just got unstoned, huh?” he asked.

“I’ve been out for around two weeks, so excuse me for being happy about seeing another Displaced. Do you know how much it means to me to see someone who probably won’t look at me like a rabid animal,” I said after setting him down.

“Yeah, I know what that feels like. Though to be honest, that was kinda my fault. That’s what happens when you live completely on your own in the while and single-handedly beat the shit out of three of the strongest armies in the world at the same time.”

“Three armies? Ha, try having the entire world on your case! I didn’t even do anything to provoke them.”

“Are we doing a dick measuring contest? Because I’m not really into wasting my time with those.”

“Oh, no, it isn’t. Just reminiscing on the good times of the days before indoor plumbing. Always good to do that when meeting someone in the same situation. And realizing how important toilet paper is.”

Pinks raised her hand and looked like she was about to explode from the sheer thought of having to use patience.

“Uh yes, you in the front of the class,” Gilgamesh joked, pointing to her with… where did he get that ruler? And those reading glasses? Oh shit, not another one.

“Name, birthday, cake, and preference of party!” Oh shit, she got out a pen and notebook! One conjurer I could handle, but two. This is going to be one of those days, isn’t it?

“One: Gilgamesh, Supreme Commander of the Global Equus Military, head of the Red Wings, Blessed by Her Grace the Fausticorn, and founder of the Interdimensional Awkward Tumbleweed Association. Two: Nunya bizznass. Three: Red Velvet. Four: Tunes, Booz, and Brawls. Oh, and this here is my BTCF, Enkidu,” he finished, pointing to the the tiger sized green wolf thing that walked up and sat lied down.

“That, sir, is a long ass title,” I said. “But very impressive. I'm-”

A flash of light and a popping sound interrupted me, revealing Egghead. The lavender unicorn looked like she had ran a marath-

… It looked like she ran.

“There you are,” she exclaimed. “Do you know how long we’ve been trying to find you? A hole into the void opened and-”

I raised my hand, signaling for her to stop. “I know about the whole scenario, Pinks brought me over.”

“I did something useful!”

“And we’re happy about that, sweetheart. Anyway, parole officer, this here is Gilgamesh, holder of many titles, and his mutant dog Enkido. The big one is a human, I think. What are you anyway, it was never said in the game?”

“Dunno. As for what I am… I guess I’m kinda human? I mean, I’m human in the same way an alicorn is a pony.” Gilgamesh replied after pondering that for a moment.

“That answer is as confusing as our whole situation. But it's better than nothing, I guess. Now onto a serious matter,” I said before giving the FF character a stern glare. “How the hell did you get past the barrier without my permission?”

“Barrier? Oh, did you meet Auric? Or did you have someone else help you with that?”

“Never met the guy, always wanted to. But the barrier was something I came up with on my own. Now how did you get past it?”

He smirked. “As I said before, ‘Blessed by Her Grace the Fausticorn’. One of the gifts she gave me was that I no longer needed to use tokens to visit other worlds. Apparently, no universe can be barred from me either. Still figuring out everything She gave me, though. Honestly I should’ve asked, but I was a little busy being awestruck by Her godliness.”

“Wait, Faust? Isn't she just Sunny and Moony’s fusion? There is no way she’s a god.” Most I remember her doing is matching me for a few minutes before doing a mitosis after too many hits.

“Fusion, huh? That’s a new one. But yeah, I’ve read about some versions where’s she’s just their parents and an alicorn and stuff like that, but I’m referring to the True Goddess and Creator and Overseer of the Equestrian section of the Multiverse. Well, one version of her. Apparently when you’re at that level of power you have multiple versions of yourself that can interact and coordinate with each other.”

“That sounds confusing as all hell but I'll roll with it. Still though, that's definitely some food for thought. Now, on with my amazing skill of changing subjects, mind telling me what you’re dog’s deal is? He's just staring at me blankly, not really used to that. Kinda freaking me out.”

“Oh him? He’s probably just checkin’ you out, getting your scent, deciding how best to kill you if you turn out to be evil, you know the usual.”

“Wait, what was that last part?” Oh, obviously the magical prodigy had never received death threats before.

“Nothing. SO, WHO WANTS TO GET CRUNK!?” he shouted, trying poorly to change the subject.

“Isn’t a bit early to drink?” Pinks asked.

“Hey, five o’clock was twenty four hours ago.”

“Well, if you want a distraction, I can provide for you,” I say coyly. I'll be honest, a warrior blessed by that SU ripoff sounded like an interesting challenge. Might even be a decent workout.

“... Oh reaaaaaaaly?” he said, his voice suddenly changing to sound more unhinged and his smile going wide enough that I could see it stretch past his faceguard. “And tell me, good sir, what were you known as in the past by your enemies?”

“More commonly, the Green Demon,” I said. “I prefer World’s Greatest Swordsman myself.”

He suddenly threw his head back and laughed for a good minute. “Well, with that I honestly wonder how good a challenge you can really be. After all, anyone who calls themselves the ‘World Greatest Anything’ usually has more bark than bite.”

“I'll be sure that you will see why I do so.” This might be more fun than that bastard Grogar, I think as I pull out Wado Ichimonji.

“Um, can we not do this in town,” my unicorn parole officer nervously asked. “In a place with significantly less property damage, maybe?”

“Ugh, fiiiiiiiine,” he whined. “But only if you retrieve a suitable audience for us.”

“Haha! I'd love to see the alicorn’s faces when they see you, pal! Aneurysms for days.”

“And hopefully they’ll learn something. Or at least be motivated to improve themselves.”

“I-I'll go write a letter,” she muttered before teleporting somewhere. Probably the treehouse.

“So, want to play some cards in the meantime? I'm killer at blackjack.”

“Sure, why not? It’ll be the only thing you’ll beat me at today. I suck at cards.”

“Oh ho! Tin Man’s got teeth.”

===ooo000ooo===

An hour later and nearly all of the town was surrounding the two of us in a massive field on the edge of the Everfree. They even brought the Sisters and that one guy from my escape. Brave Star or something.

So here we were, each staring at each other, surrounded by ponies who didn't know what the hell was going on anymore, and I was excited to actually have a challenge.

Pulling out one of my blades, I pointed the tip at him.

“Whenever your ready, sir.”

“Any restrictions I should worry about?” he asked, cracking his neck.

“Just be sure not to hit anyone,” I told him. “I don't need them on my case anymore then they already are.”

“Fair enough. Any song requests, or should I just play my own tracks?”

“You can play music! That's awesome! Oh, uh, how about Naruto’s Rising Fighting Spirit? Seems somewhat fitting.”

“Huh… let’s see if my author can find that one,” he muttered. Yep. It was like having a deadly Pinks. After a moment the song began.

“Ah, this classic! Been a while since I heard this,” he said as he spun his naginata and took his stance. “But isn’t this usually played when the hero’s do something amazing? We haven’t even started.”

“Meh, who cares, this song is badass. Now,” I say, getting into my One Sword Style stance, ”let's live up to its expectations, hm?”

Without a word he dashed straight at me, stabbing his naginata at my chest. With ease, I redirected it towards my left and got in close, slashing at his midsection. He stabbed his weapon into the ground and used it to pull himself up and out of the way before swinging his foot down at my head.

I covered my face with Armament, his strike pressing me into the ground. Definitely a challenge.

I reached out with my off hand and grabbed his foot before smashing him into the ground.

He used both hands and feet to push himself not just off the ground but flying into the air, hovering there for a bit. If it wasn’t for Observation I wouldn’t have noticed his weapon move on its own to attack the back of my head before it came back to him.

I flipped through the air, barely dodging the weapon before firing a 360 Pound Phoenix in his direction. He just took out his shield and let it hit him, sending him even higher into the air and far enough that I could only see him through Haki.

“He’s a flying monkey,” I muttered.

I waited a few seconds, wondering what the hell was taking him so long to come back down, when I felt something coming at me. Actually two somethings, one from the left and the other from the right. One was the naginata, the other was the shield.

Using my sword to deflect the naginata, I caught the shield with my off hand, wondering if he was secretly trained by good ol’ Captain ‘Merica.

“Wanna come on out, Wukong, or are you just going to keep jumping around and making portals?”

“I usually compare myself to Benkei, but I suppose I don’t mind that reference,” he said from behind me. Wait… what? I jumped away and turned, throwing the shield at him, but it stopped before it hit him. He was lying on a cloud and eating a peach. “Now, why don’t you entertain me for a bit?” his shield and naginata floated in front of him before they attacked on their own, almost like I was fighting a ghost.

“Screw this,” I muttered, pulling out Shusei. Two Sword Style. “Dragon Tornado!” Swinging my blades, I created a vortex of air so powerful, the weapons went flying and all the clouds in the area were sucked towards it, ripping them to shreds.

“Spoilsport,” he muttered as he landed, tossing away the peach and summoning his weapons back to his hands.

I rushed forward, startling him with my speed, before slashing at his chest. The blow sent him back a few feet, leaving an ‘X’ shaped dent in his armor.

“Huh… I actually felt that. Looks like I’ll need to actually try after all,” he said, his weapons levitating in the air while he cracked his knuckles. “Well, I guess it’d be rude for me not to power up when you did, so…” He held hand at his waist and pointed the other arm out crossing his chest to the other side. He then arced it to the other side before quickly switched to a mirrored pose while shouting “Henshin!” His body lit up for a moment before his whole body changed, his armor now having a different design and now wielding a broadsword, claw gauntlets, a flail, and a one handed axe in addition to the naginata with his now eight arms.

“Oh hell yes!” I exclaimed. This was going to be freaking awesome!

“Glad you like it, kiddo.” He then turned to the crowd, specifically the Sisters and that one pony I “fought”, who were just staring in shock. “Pay attention class, I’m about to coach you in how to properly use and deal with multiple weapons.” He dashed forward and swung his massive sword at me, trying to cut at my chest.

“Now first of all, remember that when it comes down to it there are really only nine ways to attack with a melee weapon: up and down, left and right, some diagonal angle, and stabbing,” he said as he attacked with each method. “Now swords are great because they can use all of the them almost equally effectively. Always remember that the longer your weapon is, the more you have to be aware of your surroundings because it can get caught on something, and also the more difficult it is to make quick strikes. Also, you need to remember weight,” he said as he did a spin slash, causing dirt to fly everywhere, which I leapt over. “The heavier a weapon is, the more damage it does, but the harder it is to control.” I charged and slashed at him again, only for him to block with the sword. “Of course, if your weapon is big enough it basically does double duty as a shield.”

He then began stabbing at me with the naginata rapidly, which I dodged just as quickly. “Spears and weapons like them obviously have the advantage and range, but they’re more suited to stabbing, so it gets kind of predictable. But, some staff weapons have curved edges, which allows from the to work as slicing weapons, too.” He then began spinning the weapon and attacking, which I deflected. “Of course the main drawback is that only the bladed tip does cutting and stabbing damage. But just because the staff itself doesn’t cut, doesn’t mean don’t use it,” he said he added trying to hit me with the staff as to his bladed attacks.

“Chained weapons have the main advantage of being unpredictable,” he said as he began spinning the flail and swinging it at me. “Of course, this is also a drawback if you don’t know what you’re doing. Also, if you don’t have momentum they’re useless, so it had a bit of a windup. Anything you can do to cut down on this is worth it. And don’t forget about trying to trap your enemy’s weapon with the chain.” He swung at me, trying to catch Wado Ichimonji, but there was no way that was happening. I stabbed at his chest to take advantage of that.

“Which can also be done with claws,” he continued, catching my sword with the weapon, the metals sparking against each other as he twisted to hold it in place. “Gauntlet weapons are probably the most intuitive to use.” He let the blade go and tried to stab my face with them forcing me to lean to the left in order to avoid the animalistic weapons. “If you know how to punch or have watched any animal with claws, you know how to use them, and they shouldn’t be much heavier than regular armor.”

Fed up with his rambling, I cover my leg in Armament and hit the one place he wouldn't expect.

I kicked him in the balls.

Everyone went quiet for a moment, only few gasped and Gilgamesh stopped attacking.

“Ah, good point Zoro, thanks for reminding me.”

What? How-? Was all I managed to think before he headbutted me, causing me to stumble back.

“You should never forget your body itself is a weapon. And also, in a life or death fight, there’s no such thing as a cheap move. And finally,” he dashed forward, axe raised for a powerful vertical swing before he attacked. I blocked with Shusui, haki helping it from getting nicked by the attack. “Axes and hammers, even the one handed ones, require momentum to work, just like chain weapons, but with less wind up. Axes are more hacking weapons than slashing, so they do require power to do any real damage,” he said as he kept attacks. I sliced at his face, only for him to hop back. “Now that you’ve got that in mind, watch what someone using multiple kinds of weapons looks like.”

With that said, he then barraged me with his massive amount of weapons. Each strike was precise, perfect in how he dealt with the momentum of the weapons. It would've been beautiful to watch if he wasn't trying to hit me with them.

But, something was bothering me.

I was dodging each strike with ease, and I wasn't using my Haki. He wasn't even trying! Faster than most could even notice, and probably looking like a blur to him, I ran behind him and watched as he momentarily stumbled from the absence of his opponent.

“I'm hurt now, pal. Not even trying when class is studying so hard? Shame on you. But nicely done with that trick to the nads, almost didn't notice it.”

“Hey, gotta get you off your game somehow. Speaking of, really need to learn how to use Haki. Totally would open up a lot of options for me.”

“Well, keep up and I might show you how to properly use it.”

“Was that another jab at me? Because that’s kinda unfair. After all, just because you know how to use Haki,” he caused his weapons to disappear in a flash. “Doesn’t mean you know how to do this.” He took a stance that was familiar to anyone who watched anime. What I didn’t know was which version he was-

“Shinkuuu Hadouken!”

Ah, Street Fighter then, I thought as that massive ball of blue energy shot towards me. I covered my blade in Armament and did the equivalent of a backhand, letting it fly off into the forest before hearing a large explosion.

“Oh this is going to get epic. Always wanted to test my luck against ki and the like. Anymore tricks up your sleeves?”

“As a matter of fact…” He point all his his arms left before arcing them up slowly, then tucking his left ones near his chest and curling the right ones. “Henshin!” In another flash he transformed. He now was two feet taller, had switched out the faceguard for a red hood and red and white kabuki facepaint. He also now wielded an axe, a mace, claws, a halberd, a broadsword, a dao, and a katana.

I chuckled, placing my white katana in my mouth before pulling out Kitetsu. “Onwards with great vigor and enthusiasm.”

“Just ooooone moment. I’m giving you a two for one special as a fellow ki lover.” He closed his eyes for a moment, only for a dark aura to start to form around him. He started breathing heavily before those breaths started to sound more like growls. His eyes were now glowing red. “FEEL THE STRENGTH OF THE SATSUI NO HADOU!”

He charged at me, eyes blazing intensely as this evil aura dripped with bloodlust. I did the only sensible thing in this scenario. I leaned to the side, using Shusui to trip him. He fell to his face, making a sizable crater due to his weight and momentum, and turned off the aura. Truly, Dan would be proud.

The Enkido dog then started howling in laughter, literally.

“I'm liking your dog,” I said through my sword.

“Glad to hear it,” he said from behind me before sending me tumbling with a flick to the back of my head.

“OK, SERIOUSLY! I WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?”

“Hey, I can’t show my full hand already! But, we do still have an audience to entertain, so…” he trailed off just as he began attacking with all his weapons.

===[3rd POV]===

Celestia had watched this match with a morbid curiosity. After all, it wasn't everyday she got to watch anything even stand close to Zoro’s level, let alone matching and surpassing him in some instances. What truly worried her was this ‘Gilgamesh’ character. Transformations, temporal distortion, puppeteered weapons, and who knows what else he has up his sleeves. At least Zoro had a limited arsenal when it came to tricks.

Luna was enraptured by the duel, making sure to record it in a memory orb later so she could remember for eons to come. Getting to see a new form of fighting and making Zoro look like an idiot for a change? Who wouldn't want that!

Shining was now beginning to realize that he probably shouldn't take his loss so hard if this was Zoro’s full potential. He rubbed his recently acquired scar, a small phantom pain from that day.

The Mane Six had different ideas on the match.

Fluttershy had been coerced to come by the prismatic speed demon. In the meantime, Angel Bunny was being squeezed every time some loud sound went off.

Rainbow was both amazed and jealous at the sheer levels of speed and power that these two were putting on. I need to get on that level!

Pinkie was selling confectionery items to all those who came. What, she has to make a living somehow. Besides, who’s going to notice if money is replaced by a cookie with this going on?

Rarity was sketching ideas that the extra dimensional warrior was giving her with his transformations.

Applejack was just hoping that nopony got hurt in the crossfire. After all, if anypony, especially her kin, were hit by anything, well… She ceased that train of thought immediately.

Twilight held the same morbid fascination as her teacher, but for different reasons. She had watched Celestia’s memory of their recent fight against the human, and she was now seeing the difference. When they had fought, it was almost like a dance to him, graceful and precise in his movements. For all that it was graceful, this fight - no, this clash of titans - was equally as brutal.

Multiple times did the Alicorns and Shining put up a shield, protecting those watching the battle from the aftershocks of their blows.

“Damn, I can’t tell who’s winning this. I can barely keep up,” the unicorn guard said.

“My bits are on Gilgamesh,” the Lunar Diarch replied. “He’s matching Zoro blow for blow physically, but I can feel extremely deep pools of magic. He hasn’t even been trying.”

“Oh, want to make that a bet, sister,” the Solar Alicorn grinned. “Twenty bits on Zoro.”

“Ha! You’ve always been terrible in the art of gambling, Sister. Raise it to fifty and We’ll agree to thine bet!” It took her a minute before realizing her slip back into ye olde Equestrian speak, but when she did, she pulled on the rubberband on her wrist and let loose. “Stupid rubber…”

===[Zoro’s POV]==

It was totally awesome in the sense that I was somewhat cheating. Each of his swings were blocked or deflected before they even touched me. With each failed attempt, he picked up the pace, and still couldn't nail me. I just gave him a shit eating grin and lightly chuckled.

“We havin’ fun, yet?”

“YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” he hopped back away from me before raising all his weapons and then slamming them into the ground, cracking the earth for miles in every direction and kicking up dust, dirt and rocks everywhere, not to mention the shockwave.

I stumbled a bit before getting a feel for the movements, then swinging my weapons in his direction. “1080 Pound Phoenix!” Not only did it hit him, but it cleared out a significant amount of the debris clouding the air. While he was reeling from that, I rushed towards him and sliced at his joints. What should’ve been severed limbs, or at least debilitating injuries, were instead somehow reduced to what looked like accidental cuts with a kitchen knife.

“I'm really not liking your momentum canceling trick there.”

“Didn’t you hear me before?” he began before his eyes shined red. Thanks to Observation I saw what was coming and leapt away from the house sized eye lasers. I need to learn to do that! He then flipped onto his feet. “In a real fight there’s no such thing as a cheap move! The only reason I haven’t beaten you yet is because I want an actual fight!”

“Oh, then I know you'll hate this.”

I spun my blades around, making a powerful enough vortex that Gilgamesh was swept up in, and I landed blow after blow as he was spun around in my attack. Sure, he was doing that momentum trick, but I made sure to leave all the important cuts. Especially the ones that bleed. Remember kiddies, cut right above the eyebrow and they'll have to constantly swipe away the dripping blood. And the liquid does a real number when it comes to gripping your weapons.

“Ok, first: WHAT!? Second: THE EFFF!?” he shouted, his swear somehow being censored in time with the same one used for Marik. “How are you doing this!? Even if you’re faster than me, you shouldn’t be landing this many hits unless your Flash levels of fast! And I don’t see any speedforce lightning coming off you!”

“Anime logic,” I pointed out. “No one understands that shit. Now quit your whining and ‘Get over here!’” MK references for the win!

“Ok, you know what? Fine. Fine.” he got up and his body flashed green, undoing nearly all of the damage I just did to him. “I was trying to keep this mostly fair for the sake of the audience.” He said as his body was now glowing green, what was left of the damage slowly healing. “But, if you wanna play OP, we’ll play OP.” He then took a familiar finger pose. “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” In a puff of smoke another hundred Gilgameshes appeared. “By, the way, changing the song."

“Then I'll play along, too.” I closed my eyes and muttered a word that I had almost never said.

"Ettin."

My entire body glowed green as I seemingly duplicated my arms and face. Four arms, each with their own katana and a face on the back of my head, Voldemort style, that also had one in its mouth. This was my own, powered down version of Asura. Less collateral damage then the Nine Sword Style, but Six should be good enough for now.

They all charged me and attacked viciously. To his credit, they were all doing fantastic, but I could still tell his anger was making him screw up just that little bit.

Slash after slice, each of them went poof and erupted into smoke. I always kept my eye out for the real one, but the incoming army was a tad annoying. So, using my superb problem solving skills, I did the only pragmatic thing. I twirled my blades and slashed at them all.

“Six Sword Style: Billion-fold World Trichiliocosm!”

All of the copies went poof after being hit by the monstrous blast and the real one went flying a hundred feet before landing on his back, sliding for a bit before stopping.

“... So that’s what it was,” he said as he held up- Is that an iPhone? “I didn’t read past the Dressrosa Arc yet, so I didn’t know about Dogtooth.” He put the phone away and got up. “I figured it out while fighting, but I didn’t think Oda would put such an OP level skill in his story, so I checked the net to be sure. Future predicting Observation Haki, huh? Didn’t see that coming.”

“Yeah, I really needed something to do in stone, so why the hell not get the most OP version out there. Want to keep going, Tin Man?”

“Indeed. Because, I still haven’t played every card I have yet.” He flipped back up to his feet and dispelled his weapons.

“After all,” he said with a shit-eating grin. “This isn’t even my final form.”

“DBZ, why not. Might as well add in some Naruto while you’re at it. Maybe SAO.”

“NO! NOT THAT ISEKAI PIECE OF SHIT! WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT! Unless you’re referencing the Abridged series that’s actually good.”

“... You’re my new favorite person ever right now.”

“Winner makes the loser a cocktail.”

“Why the hell not. Now get on with your Sailor Moon skills, I want to see this.”

“IN THE NAME OF TETSUYA NOMURA, LET IT BE SO!” He held all his arms up and out to the right, before slowly arcing them to the left, leaning into it, then snapping them back to the right. “Henshin!” he shouted before pulling his left arms down, then extending them as he pulled his right arms down. “V 3!” Another flash and he reappeared, now a freaking ridiculous twelve feet tall. He still had the red hood and the kabuki paint, but now parts of his armor glowed neon green. Also, now he only had six arms. In a flash, six generic looking katanas appeared in his hands. “You still haven’t proved worthy of my full arsenal, even with that skill. After all, I think I may have something to counter it fairly.” He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them. His eyes were now glowing white and blue as he calmly walked towards me, his breathing relaxed and even the slightest hint of frustration or anger gone.

“And here I thought you’d be stuck in digital limbo.”

“Funny,” he said in a completely monotone voice. “Also,” he said as he changed the song again.

My expression changed to one of complete seriousness. Gone was the jovial knight in changing armor, in his place was a stone faced warrior. My guess is, if he’s keeping up with this Street Fighter theme, then this was the power of Nothingness. And I would be screwed if I couldn’t keep up.

I took careful steps towards my foe, looking for anything that his stance can tell me of his current style. His eyes bore holes into me, as if trying to see what makes me tick. I played the stupid card of hitting first.

He avoided my first few attacks before giving me some of his own.

For all of those who are not aware, Nothingness is basically where you put the body on autopilot, or when the body just turns off emotions. I'm not entirely certain, but it was most likely the latter. Observation relies on emotion and intent, so I'm hindered enough if it’s either case. Another thing to consider is me using Dogtooth’s skill. I can't do it indefinitely, it takes a lot out of me if I use it for too long, and I really need to be able to use my Haki for whatever else it is that he has planned.

Long story short, I'm going at this the old fashioned way. And man did it hurt.

He was pretty close in terms of speed with me, and he had much more experience than I did with multitasking on this level. I was just barely blocking and dodging when an idea came to mind.

I leaped back a good dozen feet and nice again twirled my swords.

“Six Sword Style: Million-fold World Slash!” It was a weaker version of what I was doing earlier, sure, but I wanted it to be precise.

The warrior spun his blades before jumping high into the air, dodging the attack. “Hissatsu, Part 1: Ultimate Illusion,” he said before shooting down at the ground and causing a series of shockwaves to explode out of the ground, moving towards me.

Remind me not to ask him to landscape, I meekly thought as I saw the attack go- oh hey, they’ve got a shield up. At least they aren't getting hit by these-

I was then promptly hit in the head by the flat end of one of his swords.

“And it seems you have the same weakness,” he said, still in his creepy ass monotone voice as he charged me again. By the Tao what I wouldn't give for at least a chuckle. You know what, scratch that, it'd probably make it worse.

“Well, no one’s perfect,” I retorted as I blocked four diagonal slashed and two horizontal ones. “Besides, need to make sure you’re following rules, pal. We are getting a bit crazy here.”

“Nice to know you’re concerned. I’m confident in my skill, so if you’re worried about collateral damage, just concede.”

I chuckled at that. “I started this fight. Might as well see it until the end.” I rushed him and tried to make a swipe at his feet, but he jumped over the strike and would've kicked me had it not been for my second face’s sword blocking it.

“Interesting. It seems you can only hold that ability for so long. And here I was afraid I would have to be just as cheap to overcome it,” he said, rapidly stabbing at me with two sword, slicing at me with two others, and holding the other two back to block.

I jumped back once more and thought of what it do. He was extremely perceptive in this state, and had amazing reflexes. But, what could I do to overcome that?

Well, might as well pull a Predator on this Arnold. I dashed into the forest and used those fake Naruto skills that every cringy teens seems to have. Only difference between me and them is that I used actual stealth techniques and had a sort of camouflage. I turned off Ettin and put away Kitetsu and Shusui. The less glint of metal he saw, the better.

Perks of being me, you knew how to hide when you didn't want to fight.

And as I was leaving a false trail if he did have experience with hunting in a forest environment, he showed up, walking slowly, deliberately, as though this entire area was a trap. Good, because it was going to be.

===[3rd POV]===

“Pay attention, pony warriors. As Zoro here is demonstrating, it is a mark of experience to stack the odds in your favor, like using the environment to your advantage,” Gilgamesh began before dismissing one of his katanas in a flash of light and replacing it with a large weapon that looked like bladed nieghponese festival fan. “It’s also the mark of experience, to refuse to play a game where the enemy has the advantage, and take it away from them.” He cocked his arm back before swinging the weapon. Immediately a whirlwind kicked up, uprooting the trees and dicing them to pieces as it went. It lasted nearly half a minute before it dispersed. “I’M MORE THAN WILLING TO KEEP THIS UP UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE!” he somehow shouted in a monotone voice as he wound up for another attack.

“NO!” a meek voice shouted, Fluttershy hovering in front of him and glaring. “Now you listen here, buster! Just because Zoro went to hide in the forest and lure you into a trap, and just because it would be easier for you to destroy the forest to get to him doesn’t give you the right to ruin all those poor little critter’s homes!”

He just stared at her for a moment, her friends looking extremely concerned, before he sighed. “Fine,” he said simply before somehow levitating all the cut down trees over to him. “Might as well make some use out of this,” he muttered before rapidly cutting at them. Within seconds he somehow had a marvelously crafted coffee table, chair… and a crate with one side missing as well as a simple stick. The crate also had a comical drawing of Zoro’s face with his tongue sticking out on it. He approached the edge of the forest, set the crate and stick up as an animal catching trap before tying a vine around the stick and leave a bottle of sake under the crate as bait. The then walked over to his chair and pulled out he black device he was using before, fiddling with it as he relaxed.

“Well buddy, go ahead and have fun. I’m gonna play the waiting game.”

The canine, Enkidu, suddenly pulled out a boom box… and now had a pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap. He then turned it on and began dancing on his hind legs.

A ripping sound came from the forest before something shot out. I quick glance up told everyone who was watching what it was. A tree, root and all, was falling from the sky.

It landed on the trap left for the Swordsman before promptly exploding. Damn, did he know about the land mine?

More ripping sound were heard, and multiple trees flew, landing near the area in which the warrior sat. He lazily swiped at them, shredding them to mere toothpicks.

“Huh. Bucolic is a word? I didn’t know that,” he muttered, continuing to play the word game on his phone.

This game went on for a few minutes before Gilgamesh felt a sudden pain in his leg. Admittedly, with all the wood, he hadn't noticed the black and red sword with them. Before he could pull it out, another stabbing pain went through his other leg, this time the one with a purplish glint to the metal.

“Gotta admit, didn’t expect him to throw them,” he winced.

Before anyone could blink, a green blur shot out. Zoro was now in front of Gilgamesh, his white katana pushed against his throat.

“So, is this a tie now or what?”

Gilgamesh just smirked. His body glowed blue for a moment before he pushed his neck against the blade… which now didn’t even cut the skin. He slashed at Zoro with his big fan sword once again, making him back off, before casually pulling the two swords out of his legs, the wounds starting to heal. “Nice job making me use one of my trump cards. But, now,” he dispersed two of his normal swords to hold Zoro’s, “It seems you are at a slight disadvantage.”

The green Swordsman just grinned and held up his blade. “Bring it, Tin Man.”

Gilgamesh reactivated the previous song, the dog turning off his boombox, before Gilgamesh came charged, slicing at Zoro with his normal swords, Zoro’s swords, and occasionally that larger sword, unleashing blasts of razor wind. In addition, any hit that Zoro landed bounced off the larger warrior, likely due to the blue aura he now radiated.

“You are one overpowered bastard,” Zoro muttered as he kept up with the warrior. But he wasn't attacking, the swordsman was defending.

Anything that he tried only made Gilgamesh be a tad more careless in his swings. Not much, but a slight amount. Eventually, the multi armed warrior made a stumble, tripping over one of the previously destroyed trees, while he was in mid swing.

Gilgamesh had, one again, fallen on his face. But this time, with the purple tinted katana in the perfect angle to have pierced both the heart and lung. The only reason that this was not so was due to the ongoing aura protecting him.

Gilgamesh, surprised, jumped back to gain some distance. “That never happens,” he muttered, as he looked at the sword that nearly killed him. “Wait a minute… this one’s cursed, isn’t it? It’s been so long I completely forgot,” he chuckled as his aura finally ran out.

“Nearly the entire fandom has, too. But Kitetsu is still kicking. I've just tamed it.”

“Hmph. I suppose that’s what happens when a weapon has a preferred user,” he replied before tossing both of Zoro’s blades back at him. “This has been fun, but I think it’s time we wrap up. And to see the true extent of your power,” Gilgamesh dismissed his normal blades and summoned five more massive swords, each one unique. Two of them were double bladed swords, one golden and the other a fiery red. Two of them were katanas with ornate hilts, one a dark cobalt and the other a light silver. The last one looked almost like the claw of a massive beast that had been fashioned into a sword. He activated the power of Nothingness again, calming himself as a new song began. “Prepare to be outclassed.”

Zoro, after picking up his blades, got into a familiar stance before using Ettinonce more. “I apologize, but I promised someone that I wouldn't use Asura without a life or death situation. Last time, well, there’s a reason that the Badlands exist right next to a forest”

“It’s fine,” Gilgamesh replied before dashing forwards, unleashing a flurry of blows with each blade. The fan blade unleashed wind with each swing, while the red one shot blasts of fire. The Dark katana seemed to suck the light away wherever it was swung, while the silver katana gleamed with each swing. The Golden sword occasionally fired blasts of green energy, and Zoro didn’t even clash with the last blade, his instincts telling him that it wouldn’t end up good for either him or his weapons.

Zoro was on the ropes once again, putting everything into defense and waiting for a moment to counter. Under the strain from each blow, the spirit made weapons started fading slightly. In a last ditch effort, he took a page out of Hatch’s book and, after an amazingly timed blow that knocked all the warriors weapons off of him, Zoro attempted to spin like a drill, all the blades that were held in his arms aimed for Gilgamesh’s chest.

The force of the blow cracked bits of the chest plate, but other than being knocked back a few feet, it didn't leave much damage on him.

The Swordsman breathed heavily as his extra limbs and swords faded out of existence.

“Impressive,” Gilgamesh replied in that same flat tone before summoning all his weapons back to his hands. “But not quite enough. Let’s see how well your focus is when it’s split.” To those who were close enough to see, some the fingernails on each of Gilgamesh’s hands were spinning. He then pointed those fingers at his own shoulders. “Tusk, Act 3.” He fired the fingernails off at his shoulders causing his arms to be sucked into holes that appeared. Moments later his arms and their weapons were extending out of holes in the ground. “And why stop there?” Gilgamesh then summoned every weapon from all of his previous forms into existence, hovering menacingly in the air around him. In addition were also two submachine guns, two assault rifles, and two rocket launchers. Finally, all of the destroyed or carved wood converged around his torso before hovering around him, taking the form of six new crude limbs.

The Swordsman just looked at all of this wearily. “All I can say is thank Laozi that I didn't dress up as an FF character. Is this what you usually go up against?”

“Nah. Added some things,” he replied simply before charging. Gilgamesh attacked with his feet and wooden pseudo-limbs, while his real arms moved along the ground out of their holes, travelling nearly as fast as he did. Each of his floating weapons attacked as if they were all being wielded by a different user, attacking him ferociously from all sides but never carelessly enough to get in each other’s way.

Zoro continuously tried to dodge everything going on around him, even applying Dogtooth’s skill at different times in order to avoid being hit by an everything. And no matter what he did, he couldn't even get close to the warrior. He attempted swiping at the arms poking out of the ground, but they just retreated back into the holes and popped up somewhere else, like a deadly version of Whack a Mole. In an act of desperation, he tried slicing at the ground, hoping that he could cut them off of the kabuki faced warrior.

As the earth erupted underneath him, creating a massive new hole in the ground, he barely had enough time to activate Armament in order to absorb the blows from the rocket launchers. He was sent flying into a wall, making a new pirate shaped indent before four arms popped out and held him secure. He was now trapped.

“You did well, all things considered. But you did miss one crucial bit of information.” Gilgamesh said in that monotone voice, before motioning upwards. Zoro looked up to see another Gilgamesh hovering high above in the air, this one radiating with the power of the Satsui no Hadou, eyes shining red and with a vicious smirk on his face, violet ki energy in its palms.

“Aw, crapbaskets.” He was immediately struck by an explosion of energy right after. After the dust cleared Zoro was left face down in the dirt.

“... I win,” Luna whispered to her sister.

“Shut up,” Celestia muttered in an angry aside.

===ooo000ooo===

It was the next day when Zoro had awakened. And, after remembering his half assed bet, went to the town’s resident alcoholic to make a decent cocktail. Only problem…

“STOP USING THE BARREL!”

“BERRY, I DO WHAT I WA-” Crash! Splash. “Do you have anything else.”

With that, the swordsman was thrown out of the bar, what was left of the alcohol in town inside a wine glass.

Gilgamesh popped in and looked down at the spirit covered man. “That was just sad.”

Sad man grumbled and threw the bottle at Gilgamesh’s face. It was caught with little effort.

“Maybe I should make you a drink first. It’ll help ease the wound to your pride,” Gilgamesh suggested.

“Very funny. But I'm covered in the stuff, so I'm good. Now, what else was on today's list besides this?”

“Teach me Haki. All of it.”

The green clad man stood up and attempted to dust himself off. “Alrighty then. Come on, I don't want to do this in the middle of town.” With that, he pulled Gilgamesh to his usual training spot just off the edge of the Everfree.

“You know, it would probably go a great deal towards helping the ponies trust if you taught them some Haki yourself. Besides, they can’t rely on the magic and Elements for everything, especially since One Piece threats will no doubt show up in the future.”

Zoro just sighed and shook his head. “Last time I tried to teach Haki to a pony, that lead to Tamberlain getting unsealed. If I do it again, I'm just afraid that I'll screw it up even worse.”

“Then just teach it to someone you know won’t abuse it. Shining Armor wouldn’t be a bad choice. It might help ease his wounded pride. I’m sure you left that scar on his face.”

Zoro chuckled. “A little wounded pride never hurt anyone, especially a warrior. Besides, he might teach it to others who aren't on the same moral alignment. Not everyone here is sugar drops and lemon tarts.”

“Dude, my own dimension literally had a world war against demons, I’m quite familiar with how bad things can get.”

“Well, either way, this is about making you more OP than before, so no more derailing. Mind explaining how you view things like ki? Might help me explain it better.”

“Hm… For me, ki is an extension of the body. It’s taking the latent power already there, focusing it, and then directing it, either to a certain part of the body or out of the body. That’d be the best way I could explain it, I guess.”

“Well, that's extremely similar with how I view Haki, with a major difference. While ki uses the body, Haki is derived solely from your willpower or soul. Even a weakling, with enough willpower and the right drive, can take out armies without even trying. But because of how powerful it is, it, of course, needs to have limits. The major one people see are that it only has three variations of how to use them.”

“I see. I’ll had to add that to the mental list. It’s certainly interesting for me, considering I’m already using three kinds of energies that are similar.”

“Trust me, this won't be very similar to them in terms of use. Those are probably used at a distance, while this is mostly concentrated on yourself. With the exception of Conqueror, Haki is mostly defensive.”

“Got it. Also, surprised to hear you have Conqueror’s. Did you meet someone who gave you that power, or did you find it on your own?”

“I… don't want to talk about it. All you need to know is that I have it, and I'm teaching it.

“So, I’m going to need you to suppress your everything. It may make this easier.”

“Ok, give me a minute,” he said before taking a classic cross-legged meditation pose. “... Alright, I think I’m good. Go ahead.”

“Alright. I've only done this once, but I'm told it hurts like a bitch.” With that, Zoro placed his hand on Gilgamesh’s forehead before shit went south.

Pain ran throughout the warriors body, everything screaming for it to stop. Every muscle felt like it was set on fire, electrocuted, then shredded before being put back together and reliving the pain. Everything inside of him was telling the warrior to get away or destroy what was happening to him. But he resisted. He kept still as possible, with the occasional grunt signaling to everyone else that he was feeling something. And after a solid minute of this, the pain stopped and he opened his eyes to his fellow Displaced on the ground, panting.

“That… That was… Let’s just say it’s been a while since I’ve felt genuine pain,” Gilgamesh said, panting.

“That’s what happens… when I mess with your spirit. You… feel that? That new feeling in your chest… besides pain?”

“Yeah… kinda… like… it’s building… and it wants to be let out… should I be concerned?” Gilgamesh asked, his panting becoming harder as he began to sweat.

Shakily, Zoro stood on his feet and stumbled over to the large man, picking him off the ground. “Just… try focusing that… around your arm or something. Trust me, you’ll need a while.”

And so Gilgamesh agreed and stood still, focusing entirely on his arm. For a minute, it seemed as though nothing was happening. Just as he was about to give up, he felt it. It was almost like applying another layer of skin, this black, metallic looking stuff that was slightly tinted a dark blue.

“That, good sir, was your Haki. Congrats, I just shaved off six months worth of training for you. Feel free to applaud and worship,” he said jokingly.

“Not bad… this should give me even more options…” Gilgamesh muttered.

“Well, before you go all Haki happy, there are some rules that you need to follow. First and foremost, doesn't matter how talented you are in other areas, it takes at least a year and a half in order for anyone to get the basics down. So that means no seeing into the future for you just yet.”

“I didn’t expect that much. Can I at least have a pseudo-Spidey Sense?” he chuckled.

“Give it maybe six months of training and you’ll definitely have the idea down.

“And Conqueror’s? Would really help me dealing with weak schmucks that talk big.”

“That… is a whole different matter,” Zoro said, looking up in thought. “There’s no way for me to know for sure if you have it or not, but there might be a way to test it out. Try enveloping your hand again.”

The warrior did so, a tad faster than last time to his pleasure. Zoro covered his own arm in Armament and brought it down. Red and black sparks erupted from the area that the opposing Haki’s touched.

“Well, congrats, I think. That’s dependent on your overall willpower, and can be used to tame animals or knock people out. You can't actually train it to be stronger, but it helps to be accurate.”

“Yeah… this is gonna help,” he smirked. “Well, you’ve been helping me. Only fair I help you. Anything you think you might need?”

“Your music,” Zoro said without hesitation.

Gilgamesh chuckled. “Figured you’d want that. Well, then,” he said as he pressed his hand to his chest for a moment. He then placed his hand on Zoro’s head. “Through the power of multiple techniques and convoluted nonsense, I hereby dub thee the ‘The Living iPod!’” he proclaimed dramatically.

Zoro was ecstatic at this, then felt nauseous. “Oh shit…” he fell to the ground, holding his stomach. “I hate magic…”

“What, allergic to it?” Gilgamesh joked, bending down and poking him.

“I don't know about your world, but here, if a being doesn't have magic, they get sick from any ‘helpful’ spells while getting double damage from combat based spells. Trust me when I say that I learned that teleportation is not my thing the hard way…”

“Interesting. Well, in that case, I think I might be able to be of a bit more assistance to you.” He said before holding out his hand. A white flash came from them and then there were a pair of gauntlets in the same style as the ones he was wearing. “Normally I don’t give others the full version right off the bat, but I think you need it, and you’ve earned enough of my trust not to hurt the other Equestrians. These are the Genji Gloves. They’ll increase your magic resistance, physical defense, and as an added benefit render you immune to spells that have effects similar to Paralyse or Toad. Also, they’re my Token.”

Putting them on, the swordsman instantly started feeling better. “Thanks, man. And in return, here,” he said pulling off one of his earrings and handing it off to the warrior. As soon as Gilgamesh took it, another popped into existence right where the first used to be. “My Token, and due to a little tweaking, they are communication devices. Think of the person wearing one of these, and you’ll have a nice interdimensional conversation. I planned on sending these to all the Displaced.”

“Nice. This’ll be useful,” he said, taking off his helmet before putting on the earring. “Not really my style, but I suppose they’ll be hidden anyway,” he commented, putting his helmet back on.

“Be sure to pass it along. Need to make it easier for everyone since hoping Tokens fall out of the sky is rather time consuming.”

“Really? Mine just multiplied themselves the first time I did. Must be writer inconsistency. Anyway, as fun as that fight was, I’d kinda like to enjoy myself a bit more before I leave. Also, you owe me a drink.”

“Bullshit, I just gave you one!”

“Oh, did you? My writer must’ve forgotten. Which means it never happened,” he smirked.

The Swordsman just shook his head. “Whatever you say, Tin Man. Now, want to see how much wine Sunny has in her room? Because I can guarantee its more than you think.”

“Nah, looks like my times up.” He brought his fingers to his mouth and whistled. Moments later Enkidu appeared, looking somewhat miffed. “You can play with Fluttershy in the next universe. Now come on, let’s go.” He grabbed his naginata and cut a hole in reality. “Lates,” he said simply before jumping in. Just before it closed behind him a glass of Dalmore Bourbon shot out and landed perfectly into Zoro’s open coat.

“Nice, love the expensive shit.”

The signature pop of teleportation went off behind him. Turning around, he saw Princess Luna.

“Ah, Zoro, I was wondering where Gilgamesh had ran off to.”

“He just left with his dog, like, not even two seconds ago.”

“Darn, We were going to collect him to repair the field that you dueled in.” She paused before pulling back the band and letting go. “W- I suppose that means you’re with me, than.”

Zoro had a stony expression plastered on his face. “Excuse me one moment.” He put a hand to his left ear and breathed deeply.

“YOU ASSHOLE!!!”
> Ch 8: Swordsman's Hearing
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 8: Swordsman's Hearing

===[???]===

I was in my stone prison, a trophy from an era of conflict that the world would rather forget.

Unmoving, unfeeling, but my emotions were turmoil.

Golden Hoof, half drunk, all rage, attempted to strike down the Sisters for what they had done to me.

He was turned to ash before the Alicorns.

Artemis became one of the best hunters and mercenaries that the world had seen.

She was poisoned while trying to gain enough money to buy me.

Clover went on to be the second most famous unicorn in history, and exceeding her teacher in many ways.

She was torn apart at the atomic level trying to find a cure for me.

Xante created the cure-all potion that could heal most any ailment, making him the greatest alchemist short of Nicked Flannel.

He dissolved when attempting to make a potion to cure me.

Baskerville became the most notable Prime Alpha, helping create an underground system that spread halfway around the world.

He perished attempting to take me away to their capital.

I was forced to watch my friends die, all in vain attempts to help me. What have I ever done for them? All that knowing me ever brought them were countless tiring nights, near death experiences, and too many horrors that no one should see.

I was burning, flames covering my vision that was fixated on my old friends. A low rumble shook the ground, a testament to its power and size. If I could shift my neck, I would have seen my last friend.

Ignatious.

I would have seen his sorrowful face, the sadness of seeing those that we cared about fall. I would have seen the disappointment that the one who brought the world to its knees can now be beaten by a simple hammer and chisel.

I would have seen him erupt into a giant fire, attempting to bring me down with him. Attempting to make me atone for what I had done.

Yet I remained stone.

Unmoving, unfeeling, but my emotions were turmoil.

===[Zoro’s POV]===

Do you want to know the fun part about being dragged into a city where all the people stare at you as though you’re some sort of rabid beast? As though you are just a wild animal who was trapped in a cage and is awaiting for the moment where you will bite their hand off?

They freaked the hell out when I looked in their direction.

“Zorry, stop doing that,” the pink one said, ushering me forward. “You need to stop looking so serious or they will keep being a meanie pants to you.”

“Hey, it's not my fault,” I stated, raising my hands defensively.

“Sure it ain’t,” Apple muttered in a sarcastic aside.

“Whatever the reason, just stop it. They’re scared enough as is. It's rare when foreign dignitaries show up, so everypony is on edge.” Whoa, more than a sentence from Egghead? That was rare these days.

Oh, you’re lost? Well, let me backup.

Two weeks have passed since the fiasco that they had dubbed “Lesson Zero.” The purple unicorn had been avoiding long confrontations with me, keeping all of our interactions to a minimum. I was fine with that, I want to be alone, much better in my opinion. The only bad thing was that it gave me more time to think.

And thinking is a very dangerous path for those of us who don’t usually partake in it.

I thought back to that day and I realize that I was being a bit of a dick. A justified dick, yes, but still. Just like with Celestia, there were a dozen different ways I could have said it, but I decided to do the most direct and dramatic. I somehow always do. It gets the point across, but I always manage to f*** up.

Ugh, what the hell is wrong with me? I’m supposed to be a god-slaying demon here, one of the world’s worst nightmares, yet here I am feeling sorry for hurting one pony’s feelings? When did I get soft?

And to say that I was desperate for information was an understatement. Hundreds of books and nothing! Science, agriculture, nature guides, even f***ing law books held nothing but my crushed hopes and wasted hours of sleep! Do you even know how important I rank sleep!

If you guys want to know why I'm doing this, it's because I've got a plan. Find out what the government does with them, find out who might have been stealing them, discover the web of their operation, make some bodies disappear, and make the government take better care with those fruits.

You know, I’ve never thought about fruits as much as I have in the past two weeks. Life is strange.

Anyway, c’est la vie. Even in sugar cane and lemon drop lands life seems to find a way to shit on you. In this case, It was a mix of me and Sunny.

Me you can probably understand, but why is the demigod ruler of her own country in deep shit, you ask? Well, let’s look at the facts:

1) She let her sister, who almost commit genocide, off with just a slap on the wrist and made her the second most politically powerful pony in the world. That’s already pretty bad on it’s own.

2) She had let the most powerful weapons this world has, because no matter what people think the Elements are weapons, fall and stay in the hands of the most ragtag group of civilians anyone could possibly imagine. Most would agree that they were nice girls, yes, but there was too much about them that could make them effectively useless as a line of defence. To the Griffons and Minotaurs, who are very military focused if my late night reading was correct, letting the Six keep the Elements was both irresponsible and insulting.

3) Discord. Instead of smashing his statue like a sensible person, she just let the amalgamation stand around in her yard until it came to bite her in the ass. If he had gotten bored or the girls hadn’t defeated him, he would have spread his influence to other lands. And when he was turned to stone, she just leaves it as it was the day before he escaped. Can you see how this is worries them?

4) Me. I am arguably the strongest being on this planet after Discord, I am the most dangerous, and I have one hell of a mean streak in their eyes. The world leaders see Sunny as trying to take control of me in order to keep them in line and following her orders. We all know that’s BS, but that’s how people think when a neighboring country lets a monster lose within their borders.

So, imagine my surprise when, after dealing with a rampaging Spike having a Greed Growth episode - which is something all arcano dragons do, I had explained to him - I get a visit from our recently re-embellished princess Moony that the world leaders what to gather in order to finally decide on how to deal with the situation that is my existence. Ain’t I lucky?

When we arrived at Equestria’s pompous capital, where the smell of perfume was almost as overwhelming as the egos, you could tell things were different. While ponies usually stuck their noses so far into the air that they didn’t have to smell arôme de merde, they had their eyes darting around, worried about running into a wayward griffon or zebra.

“You know, for a species that preaches about love and tolerance, you guys sure are hypocrites.”

“But I don’t have hypochondria,” Pinks said.

“That ain’t what he meant, sugarcube. And how in the hay’re we hypocritical?”

“Zecora,” I deadpanned. Man, if I were a pony my special talent would be making others cringe. Butters was even doing that weird anime fingertips thing.

“That was a one time thing,” Rainbow said, crossing her arms defensively.

“How about Trixie?” Yeah, Scootaloo (which was annoyed that I was still calling her Zoe), Spike and I were very chatty over what has gone down in this town. Sometimes I just wanted to Gibs them before remembering that they could get the yellow pegasus to do that crazy eye magic that tears into souls.

“And why ever would you think that that conceited showmare didn’t deserve what she got?”

“Well, Curls, for one, it was her job to seem larger than life and boast a little or else she couldn’t eat. Two, her house was destroyed by a giant bear a couple of idiots decided to bring to town for Tao knows what reason. Finally, because of you guys, her reputation and career are almost unsalvageable.” Zoro the Realist strikes again! He sustains himself on all of your f*** ups!

After that, it was mostly small talk amongst the six of them with me adding in a bit of friendly human advice from time to time. We did see a few other species walking around, but they avoided me like a vegetarian avoids an American BBQ. I think I even saw a minotaur almost piss himself at the sight of me, so that was nice.

When we finally did make it to the Castle, we were greeted with the best hospitality that they could muster.

“Welcome citizens and… demon. The Princesses are waiting for you. Miss Sparkle, I believe that you know the way.” As I said, the best they could muster.

Now, as opposed to the ponies that I would have usually deal with should I ever decided to come here, I was instantly drawn to the small groups of creatures that were very clearly soldiers. Zebras, griffons, minotaurs, diamond dogs, there was even a dragon or two.

Some looked ready to shit themselves. Others seemed to be judging me and laughing internally. The rest were just doing their duty to look as intimidating as possible. One dragon, a teen by the size, tried snarling and provoking me.

Needless to say, I owe the Solar Princess for her new sky light.

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice said. “I'm going to have to ask you to come with me.” I turned my head to see that same snow colored unicorn from my ‘escape.’ On each side of him were ten guards, each looking exactly the same. I had asked Spike about it and apparently the armor held enchantments that made everyone look the exact same.

Funny that uniformity be placed within a society that heavily believes in individuality.

“BBBFF!” Our Magic Girl ran towards the taller unicorn and just straight up glomped him. From what my Observation was showing, she held a familial love for him that he reciprocated, but he also had a smidge of fear.

“Twily, it's great to see you,” he said, hugging her back. “I'm sorry, but duty first, then we can catch up, okay?”

“But, I… alright. But you owe me at least an hour of Sparkle SIbling time after all this is done,” she said, puffing up her cheeks in that weird anime style. You never really notice how weird these things translate to real life until it’s right in front of your face.

He rubbed her head and laughed. “Sure thing, sis. I’ll hopefully be let off duty in an hour. Until then, feel free to stay within the visitors section of the castle. For now, Roronoa Zoro, please allow us to place these handcuffs and inhibitor ring on you before we head out.” As soon as he said that, two guards came forward with the aforementioned items, proceeding to put them on.

I just stared blankly at the offending objects. They looked a lot like the cuffs used in the Enies Lobby Arc. “You do know that this won’t do anything besides annoy me, right?”

“It’s more for peace of mind than anything.”

“Ah,” was my eloquent response before bowing to my group. “Until this thing blows over, stay out of trouble.”

“Yeah yeah, we’ll be here,” Rainbow said dismissively.

“Let’s go raid the kitchen!” was Pinks’ response.

“‘Sparkle Sibling time,’” Apple whispered to Curls, who just shrugged.

Butters nodded.

Egghead looked away bashfully before muttering “don’t do anything stupid.”

With that, I was whisked away by ponies in armor to either the dungeons or to the meeting room.

===[Celestia’s POV]===

“... And furthermore, you have been showing little to no regard to treaties, some of which you were there for their creation, which dictates actions such as these.” By the Maker does he go on.

It has been a little over three hours in to the meeting and we were still on one of the first subjects brought up; my sister. I should have been surprised that nopony except the diamond dogs sent their leader, but it is still insulting that they would accuse me for these grievances without looking me in the eyes. Yes, some of my decisions were rash, but I didn't care.

The one talking was first-in-line for the throne to the Griffon Kingdom, Prince Grei Reinhart. A bit arrogant at times and a wiz when it comes to strategic games, but very impulsive when it came to matters such as these.

The representative from Zebafrica was Head Huntress Zarola. She was quiet and mindful, and had a stare similar to his that just made your skin crawl.

Prime Alpha Adalsteinn was, as most of his kind were, loyal and liked to charge headfirst into anything without thinking of the consequences. In fact, the similarities between him and Ms Rainbow Dash were truly scary. The only difference is that he prides himself as the fastest digger in the tribes.

The Changeling Hive had sent Princess Chrysalis in place of Empress Rhopalocera, a sweet nymph when around her ‘meals,’ but reminded me of Luna when she was younger when around friends. And she was a horrifying imp in those days.

The Minos Kingdom had sent the Second Prince Iron Drive. King Iron Resolve was dealing with some domestic problems, most caused by the news that the Green Demon was back, and it didn’t help that the First Prince was still wandering around. Iron Drive was a good calf, but he was much too reserved and kind for the likes of the court. Thank goodness Blueblood agreed to mentor him on the Game else he would’ve been eaten alive.

And while he wanted to come himself, Lord Torch agreed on sending his daughter Ember in his place. I’m honestly just thankful that his brother managed to reel him in before he could come to take on him in the middle of the little town he was currently occupying.

Two out of seven world leaders with the rest of them heirs.

“While I acknowledge that fact, I don’t see how that plays into your argument. I can assure you that my sister is not in danger of turning on the world again. Not only does she not have the magic capabilities that she used to before the Summer Sun Celebration, there are multiple measures in place if she were ever to go through her transformation again.”

“Oh, then I suppose you have measures in place for the Demon then? After all, he is the reason that this meeting was called for.”

I sighed. Sometimes I just wished that things would be like the good old days. ‘Will it kill us?’ ‘Maybe.’ ‘Throw it some food, maybe that will work.’ Fast, simple, and it was how we domesticated dogs. Worked back then. But back then was a constant struggle to survive in a world that didn’t take kindly to those who fought against the powers in charge. Nowadays, it seemed all they did was fight for their complacency.

“I can understand why you are worried, but is this decision really best if hurried?”

“Of course it is, Head Huntress. While I still don’t believe that Equestria isn’t attempting to control him, he is very much a threat if left alone. Our ancestors barely held him off, and what do they get for their sacrifices? That monster roaming alive while they lay dead.”

“Everydog dies at some point. At least they had the honor of dying in battle, so who cares about how they died? Let the dead mind their own problems while we mind ours.”

“This could very well become our problem!” He turned towards the Dragonlands’ representative. “Surely, Lady Ember, you too must realize the danger that he is.”

Ember, who had rarely spoken up at all, had a very annoyed look resting on her face. “We dragons made an agreement with the Swordsman that many of our Elders are very adamant to keep alive if he really is still active. Unlike your other races, it takes a long time for our eggs to hatch and even longer for them to mature. The total amount of dragons that currently occupy our lands are roughly the size of each of your armies. While we don’t usually care about numbers, the Elders have seen that it doesn’t matter if we were to send everydrake that lives on our land, we would still lose. It’s not worth risking the lives of my people on some stupid campaign that we backed out of centuries ago.”

“I’ll have to agree with her for different reasons,” Chrysalis added. “While we have the opposite situation of the dragons, the Hivemind often shows that he won’t attack unless provoked. So unless you wish for a second World War, I suggest that you stop trying to play ‘hero’ like those before you and look at facts.” Just like sister.

“T-that isn’t a very nice way of p-putting it, but true. W-why can’t peace be an option,” Drive spoke up.

“Just stop arguing and decide already,” Adalsteinn added. “I just want to go home already. Haven’t we talked enough.”

A knock silenced the group, all appreciating the distraction. And if I’m a betting mare, it would probably be Shining Armor with our guest. Please let this go smoothly.

Two guards opened the doors to reveal my suspicions true. Captain Shining Armor, a stallion that could do with more vacations than he lets himself have, was with twenty soldiers from the Marines, highly trained guards that could probably take down an Ursa Minor with just those numbers, were leading the one that set off my ruined afternoon.

Roronoa Zoro was dressed in his usual attire, a green overcoat with a red sash around his waist and leather boots. His three golden earrings clinging together so softly probably only him and I could hear it. A gasp went around when they saw that he had a red hilted Neighponese blade adorning his side.

I myself found the situation amusing as he was staring blankly at the useless handcuffs that were placed on his wrists. That and the ambassadors could also feel his pressure.

“World Leaders, I present to you the Green Demon, Roronoa Zoro.”

“Thank you, Captain.” He saluted before having all the guards surround the conference room, leaving the human in the center of the room.

“W-Welcome-”

“Seriously, Sunny, why the handcuffs? You know I can just break them, right.”

“Bah,” the Diamond dog scoffed. “Those are Deep Iron by the looks of them, strongest metal around. You can’t possibly-” He was instantly quiet as Zoro pulled his arms apart, breaking the cuffs. He rose his eyebrow, staring expectantly at Adalsteinn.

“Zoro, I ask that you refrain from scaring them too much.”

“And make the load on you lighter? But I love seeing you squirm on your comfy chair. Speaking of, mind if I get one?”

“I’m not sure if I should be appalled or amused that you defeated our Elders,” Ember said.

“Ah, yes, the peanut gallery. Now let us see who we have here. Sunny was a given and I heard Moony left for the Big Apple for some festival. Dragons are definitely wanting to leave me alone. Changelings would probably leave everyone alone if it weren’t for their food source, but they don’t like the taste of fear so no fighting me. Zebras and Diamond Dogs are middle fences, waiting to see if it’s worth it. Griffons feel like I wounded their honor and want to take me on. Minotaurs…?”

“C-c-conservative for n-now. Lots are afraid, s-some want a f-fight.”

“As expected. And a timid kid in politics? Fate was not kind to you…”

I was once again surprised at how knowledgeable he was on the situation. It was easy for most to see him as a juggernaut, charging in without a care. But he was intelligent, dare I say cunning. He could take out strategic areas that could’ve turned the tide of battles before we even had them set up, and forged fake reports like nothing. But given the new information that he traveled with Clover probably explained that last part.

“Hm, boredom laced with amusement. And a splash of exhaustion? Not the usual reaction to this situation, is it Roronoa?”

“Madam, please, do I look like the usual brood that you lot bring into here?”

“Would you mind telling me why you have a sword on thee,” Zalora asked.

“Ah, this is Sandai Kitetsu, one of my weapons. I have this on me for both comfort and protection.”

“What protection should a creature that can break Deep Iron need?!”

“Didn’t say whose protection.” Looks like silence is always following him it seems.

“Well, how about we rush this onward and get to the reason why Roronoa Zoro is here, yes,” I said, trying to defuse the possible scenario.

“Hm, quite,” Chrysalis said.

“Roronoa Zoro, you are placed before us for multiple reasons. The most prominent is how to deal with this whole situation that is your freedom from your imprisonment.”

“Well, if I must be my own lawyer, I've done my time and took my chances. You guys are paranoid over my non-existent plans, and I'm stuck living in a treehouse until my parole officer deems me worthy enough not to blast into a living statue. Whole scenario. No plans of world destroying or subjugating the world to look in my image. I'm just a wanderer.”

I speak for everypony when I say I was not expecting music to blare from him. All of us were slack jawed, but Chrysalis was falling over laughing when she realized the meaning behind the song.

“Do you think that this is a joke? That the United Equus Council is some animal for you to poke?”

“Yes,” he stated. I visibly sweatdropped. Maker dammit Zoro.

“You are aware that we can order your execution at any time, yes,” the Griffin smugly asked. Zoro simply looked at him, fear suddenly grasping its hold over the prince.

“I'm sorry,” he chuckled. “But was that a threat? Cause I'm pretty sure it was.”

“Zoro…”

“Oh no, Sunny, if he wants to threaten me, I'll tell him exactly why it's, surprisingly, a bad idea.” Before anypony could blink, he was crouching in front of Grei and grabbed the front of his shirt, staring right into his eyes. The guards made a move to apprehend him, but I stayed their hands. I really didn't want the situation getting I worse than it already was, and I had faith, albeit a small amount, that Zoro would keep it non-violent.

“My top speed was recorded to be around 9000 miles per hour, I can predict actions an enemy takes before even they know, and I can strike with the force of a hydrogen bomb. I know you don't know that that is but it’s extremely impressive. And do you know what I want to do with all this power?” He let the griffin go, causing him to fall backwards. “I want to live my life in peace. I want to live without you people constantly watching me in fear of something that will never happen. You all like to think that you are ‘righteous’ and can do no wrong, but you forget. Not once did I attack for no reason, and yet I was painted as the bad guy. I was always the defendant. I just wanted to be alone.”

He stood up and jumped back down to the center of the room and addressed everypony. “Is my request insane? No, but asking you lot to drop your preconceptions immediately is. Just give me space and you’ll see. Probably. Hopefully.

“Now that all the serious business involving me is over; Sunny, we need to talk later. And if you say no, I'll just break into your room later.” All guards pointed their weapons towards him at that. “Oh like you could stop me.”

With that, he left as he played another song, pointing his index finger with his thumbs up at all of the females present. “Later.”

It was a solid minute before anyone dared to move or speak.

“I like him,” the changeling princess said.

As soon as she said that, my eyes widened. He was supposed to stay for another hour! Damn you, Zoro!

===[3rd POV]===

The three members sat around the strange fruit that they had found not moments earlier. All of them had voiced  their theories as to what it was.

“Ah still don’ feel too good ‘bout this,” Applebloom said. “AJ said that if we were ta find anythin’ strange, we bring it ta her.”

“Psh, relax,” the pegasus said, waving off her friend’s concern. “What’s the worst that can happen? It’s just a fruit.”

“Yeah, how can something so pretty looking be dangerous,” Sweetie Belle voiced her opinion.

“Parasprites,” was the farmpony’s answer. All three cringed.

“Even so, it grew in your orchard, so how dangerous could it actually be?”

“But AJ said-”

“Applejack ain’t here right now,” Scootaloo retorted. “And what she doesn’t know won’t put you in trouble.”

“Anypony else getting deja vu?”

“Fine,” she relented. “But Ah sure as heck ain’t eatin’ it.”

“Oh, I know! We can play rock paper scissors. Whoever wins gets to do what they want with it.”

The pegasus and earth pony nodded, and got into position.

“Rock-”

“-Paper-”

“-Scissors!”

Applebloom and Scootaloo looked in amazement as they had both put down rock.

And the unicorn had paper.

Begrudgingly, Scootaloo passed the fruit to her alabaster friend. As soon as it was in her hands, she did the only reasonable thing to do with a mystery fruit. She shoved it in her mouth.

As heer friends stared at her, waiting for a reaction, she chewed and swallowed. Her face contorted to a grimace.

“Ugh, that tastes like my spaghetti attempt.” So much fire…

To distract them from the horrifying memory, the other kids questioned their friends, Scootaloo inanely poking her.

“Sooo, you feel different?”

“No.”

“Ya sick?”

“No, but the taste didn’t help.”

“Are you constipated?”

“Um, no, I don’t think so.”

The questions lasted for a good while until the unicorn sneezed. What ensued afterwards would be surprised faces and utter shock for minutes.
> Ch 9: Swordsman's Devils
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 9: Swordsman's Devils

===[Zoro’s POV]===

I was hanging out inside Sunny’s room, as I had promised, enjoying my new power by listening to some of my favorite songs that I would never have been able to enjoy without my Living iPod status when the doors opened. Turning my single eye towards it, I saw the one whom I wanted to speak.

Me being me, I sprawled myself across her bed. “Take me, Jack!”

She just sighed and shook her head. “I really didn’t like how you just left me in that room alone.”

“You’re a big girl, you can handle a bit of politicking without scary ol’ me.”

“That’s not the point! The point is that you threatened the son of a world leader, acted more like Discord than I ever gave you credit for, and left me! You were scheduled to stay for another hour at least!”

“Alas, life is never easy for those in the Game of Thrones. Now, onto the real reason I agreed to come here.” Shooting up, I adopted a serious look that was directed at her. “Cast a sound proofing spell on the room.”

“May I ask why,” she asked hesitantly.

“What I'm asking you should not leave this room so long as you wish it. It's probably something to do with your national security.”

Sunny’s eyes widened before putting on her serious face and applying the spell. I felt slight nausea, but my Genji gloves blocked the worst of it.

“There, now ask away.”

Taking in a deep breath, I readied the question that had been plaguing me for weeks.

“What do you know about Devil Fruits?”

The solar alicorn cocked her head to the side. “Devil Fruit?”

Yes, ruin this stressful moment with ignorance. Why not, it's like I didn't not expect it. “Ugh, colorful fruits with swirls, terrible taste, and give the eater a super power. There weren't many known back in the old days, but they did exist.”

“Swirls… Oh! You mean the Fruits of Discord. What about them?”

I stared at her, probably looking like I just ate at a discount Chipotle. “Fruits of Discord? Why in the hell would you name them that? They were around before him?”

“The name just stuck,” she said with a shrug.

“Sure, why the hell not. Anyway long story short, these things sort of originate from where I came from, I've heard about different things happening that may or may not be related to them, and I feel partially responsible for no logical reason whatsoever. I know that you won't do it off the bat, but I'd like you to allow me any information on them.”

She just raised an eyebrow before sitting down on one of her massive chairs, pondering my request. “And how long have you been looking for the information?”

“Around the time I escaped.”

“Hmm… unfortunately we don’t know a lot about them,” she said after a long silence. “But before I indulge exactly what I do know, I must ask: What are your intentions for the information?”

“Meh, I’ve got a general idea, but nothing set in stone really. Probably figure out a way to keep them away from random schmucks that have no idea what the hell they’re doing with them. I was thinking of a Dragon Radar sort of thing.”

“Dragon… you know what, I’m not even going to ask-”

“Smartest decision you’ve made today.”

“But there are conditions for this.”

I chuckled. “Wouldn’t have expected anything differently. Very well, name your requirements.”

“Oh, just three simple things, really.” Oh no, I do not like that smile whatsoever. That is the Run bitch, run! look that she has.

“One: Apologize to Twilight.”

“Hard on my ego, but doable.” I’ve been meaning to do it for a while, but it just seemed so awkward any moment I was about to make a move,

“Two: I want you to share any information that you have on your end.”

“That… was actually something I planned on doing. Continue.”

“And three: Your sword. I want to know what’s so special about that  blade that you’d carry it everywhere.”

Sighing, I realize that I should’ve been expecting this question. It was probably understanding at first, seeing as I had spent eight years on the run with a weapon at my side at all times, but suspicion grew worse as I only kept Kitetsu on my person when given the choice. Hell, I admit my response to the question earlier was sketchy. And if I have to come clean about something of this nature, might as well come clean to the best expert of holy magic in the world.

How I learned about that is a whole different story that ended how you would expect.

“This katana, Sandai Kitetsu, is one of three special blades, and reportedly the weakest. Let’s just call them the Kitetsu Blades because the official name is both a mouthful and hard to pronounce correctly. All three of them are cursed swords.” And so she le gasped at the fact and I held up my hand to stop her from doing anything rash. “Before you do anything, let me fully explain this certain sword. The curse on this one is that whoever holds the blade will die by the blade. But, due to the fact that it is the weakest cursed sword of the bunch, that means that it is much easier to rein in. I’ve tamed the sword, yes, but that doesn’t mean I broke the curse.”

“So the reason you carry it all the time…” She muttered.

“Is to protect everyone else who wants to pick it up,” I finished. She closed her eyes and thought on my words.

It was a deafening silence, one that tempted me to abuse my power, but I am a reasonable elder citizen of a ripe age of 1525 if you count my stoned state. Can’t be a stubborn asshole all the time now, or I may get predictable.

After a few minutes, she opened her eyes. “Is there a way to remove the curse on it?”

“If there was, then I spent the first few years looking on the wrong planet,” I sarcastically replied.

“And I’m guessing that I can’t persuade you to leave it in the Royal Treasury or Vault?”

“Not a chance.”

“Then I thank you for being truthful with me on this. But I hope you know that should you need it, I’ll either destroy it or send it to the Sun.”

I chuckled at that, having seen a few Equus’ where the Sunnys there had done something similar to that world’s resident asshole Displaced.

“When did we go from bitter enemies to old war pals who joke about these sorts of things?”

“Probably when we became one of the few beings on the planet that had been to a real war,” she said with a melancholy smile on her face.

We both adorned the faces of those who had seen the horrors of war, the pointless suffering of it all. In my high school history class, we went through the Vietnam War. One of the parts they showed us were pictures of the soldiers. Right before they left, they had looks on their faces that most would have at the thought of fighting for the honor of your country, or that face when people start playing Fallout for example. After photos showed the same men, but they looked different. Not like a few were physically different, maybe a scar or two here and there, but it was their eyes that had the most pronounced look to them. They looked exhausted, tired. They may have left for a few years, but they looked like they had aged by decades. Had you been in that room at the time, you could see two very, very old people who were very tired.

I once again sprawled myself across her bed. “Crack open one of your wines before we go about this, please. I feel like I may need to be partially drunk for this.”

She chuckled at that. “I feel you, Zoro.”

===[Twilight’s POV]===

I was laying on my big brother’s lap, him inanely petting me like we used to before I was accepted as the Princess’ apprentice. Shining was humming an old lullaby that Mother used to sing for us, but it wasn’t making me feel any better.

No matter what I did, what I read, or who I talked to, I couldn’t get that moment out of my head. Because of my eagerness to understand anything and everything that was an unknown, like Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense, I did something that was horrifying to me.

I had failed.

The Princess had asked me to keep an eye on him, yes, but at the time I thought that meant trying to learn all I could about Zoro, how we worked his magic, or ‘Haki’ as he called it, what his limits are, his physiology, that sort of thing. I had thought that she wanted me to figure out how to beat him should he truly turn out as evil as the legends told. Now I know better, and I hated how I misinterpreted her instructions. After a series of letters and lots of contemplation on the little hints I realized what she had meant.

I wasn’t supposed to learn about the Green Demon, feared monster that shook the world to its core. I was supposed to learn about Roronoa Zoro, the swordsman who was put into a situation outside of his control, the man who liked to wander off at inopportune times just to be alone from the world that had shunned him.

I mean, I may have been looking too much into this, but my point still stood. And while Princess Celestia and my friends forgave me, I couldn’t say the same about my housemate. Whenever we got together, there was a thick air around us that was impossible to breath in, let alone talk to one another. Most of the time he wouldn’t even look me in the eye, and quickly muttered out an unintelligible sentence about how nice the weather was. At this point, the only way for us to have a decent discussion was through Spike.

I was explaining everything I had to Shining, and was now awaiting his response.

After what seemed like forever, he finally responded. “Have you taken his feelings into account?”

“Of course I did!”

“Jeez, sorry, just not used to this emotional turmoil thing. Most experience I have with fixing this sort of thing is having my men hit something with a big stick.”

“Ugh,” I said, my body going limp from the exhaustion of the whole scenario. “Why are feelings complicated.”

“Probably just you making it complicated, Twily,” he chuckled. “I mean, what's the worst you’ve done to him? Poke him with a science stick?”

“I sorta… kinda strapped him to a chair in my basement.”

“...”

“While he was asleep. And hooked him up to my thaumatology equipment to study how he functions.”

“... So you treated him like a labrat?”

“No! I mean, kinda? I don't know anymore.”

“Well, I think that you’re thinking too hard about all this. Sometimes, you just have to act.”

I stared at him blankly. “You are no help, Shiny.”

“I’m serious,” he stated. “He’s a warrior, so he’d probably rather appreciate if you dealt with this head on than any overly complicated thing that you’re probably of doing.” I opened my mouth before closing it. He was probably right.

Ugh, why did the socially awkward mare always have to get thrown into these situations?

Our little moment of awkwardness was ruined when a random guard rushed in.

“Captain, there’s a problem.” Immediately my BBBFF shot up, almost knocking me to the ground.

“Report.”

“Sir, it’s a Code Grape, sir.”

“Damn, and when there are foreign dignitaries, too.”

“That's not all sir. It also applies the Gre- human, Roronoa Zoro.”

“Wait,” I blurted out. “What's a Code Grape? And how is Zoro involved?”

Both of them looked towards each other before nodding.

“It will be much easier to show you,” Shiny said.

===ooo000ooo===

I… had no words for what was before me.

At my side were my friends, me having insisted that we all were capable enough to help with whatever was going on. Obviously, I was wrong.

“It's like looking at a train wreck,” Rainbow muttered, most of us nodding without looking away.

Before us was Princess Celestia’s room. Inside, there were empty wine bottles everywhere. The Princess and Zoro sat on the floor, cheeks red from the influence of the alcohol, singing badly to a strange song that Zoro was playing.

“I-is this a common occurrence,” Rarity asked Shiny.

“Used to be, but she hasn't had a Code Grape since Princess Luna returned.”

“Y’know *hic*, I've never felt this classy while bein’ trashed,” Zoro slurred, looking into a bottle like it was a telescope.

“O’ly the fines’ for my frenemy,” the Princess responded.

“S-shouldn't we do something,” Fluttershy asked.

“Afraid that won't do anything,” a new voice said. I turned my head to see one of the few friends I had during my time as Princess Celestia’s student. “All we can really do is hope she doesn't decide to redesign the castle or paint herself pink.”

“Blue, it's been so long,” I exclaimed, rushing over to him.

“Twilight, it's always a pleasure to see you again. Tell me, how's Spike doing? Poor boy must be lacking in male support by now.”

“He’s going great. Went ginormous a few days ago, but he’s doing fine now.”

“Prince Blueblood, it's so nice to see you again,” Rarity said through clenched teeth.

“I'm sorry, who are…” Then, recognition filled his eyes. “Ah, Madam Rarity! So good to see you, how have you been.”

“Better without you.”

It took me awhile, but then I remembered what she had said about the Gala. “Wait, he’s who you went to the Gala for? Blue, did you pull your Game again.”

“Um, who is this,” AJ asked.

“Game,” Pinkie asked excitedly.

“Oh, right, this is Prince Blueblood, the Day Court Phoenix, mostly called that due to a cool trick he can do since he was young,” I explained. In response to that, his hand lit up in blue flames, much to Pinkie’s awe.

“Well, you see,” he started. “Due to the large amounts of mares wanting to have me court them, some of them with less pure intentions, I've made it into a game. I pretend to be like the usual nobles, all jerkish, and see how long they last. Me and Fancy Pants usually bet on how long they last.”

“Why do that,” Rainbow asked Blueblood.

“Why, because I love messing with the the gold diggers,” he responded, grinning like…

Now I know who Zoro reminded me of.

“Excuse you, but I am not a gold digger,” Rarity exclaimed.

“Well…” was Pinkie’s response.

“Sugarcube, y’all was a gold digger, no matter how ya cut it. It were pretty obvious back then.”

“Haha! Oh I like you, Miss Applejack,” he said. “Oh we need more like you in court. You have no idea how bad it gets with all the hidden insults and flowery words thrown around here.”

“Oh ah can imagine all right,” she said. “Ya know how Rarity was actin’, so I c’n tell its bad.”

“Not to alarm you guys,” Rainbow said. “But I think the Princess just started crying.”

“This is the next phase of Code Grape,” Shiny explained. “Sorrow.”

“...a-and I'm just so *hic* jealous of her, ya know,” Princess said. “I mean, compared to me, Luna’s a twiggy model! Look at my butt, it's so-o-o bi-i-ig!”

“Aw, ssssssh,” Zoro then took his finger and awkwardly dragged it across her muzzle. “Your ass is amazing. *hic* In fact, if I were still a chick, I'd kill for an ass like yours.”

“D’aww,” she said, laying down in his lap. “That's the nicest *hic* nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Yeaaaah, don't expect it too often.”

“Trust me, I- oh hey Twilight’s he*hic* here!”

“Umm, Princess,” I hesitantly say, having their drunken spotlight focused on me. “Didn't Zoro want to talk to you about something important?”

“I *hic* got aaaaaaall the answers I need,” he slurred, shaking a bottle in my direction. “There’s a guy I gotta talk too in Poonville, Stefany Meyo. Other than that, *hic* wanna drink?” He shakily stood up, Princess Celestia flopping onto the ground, and walked towards her bed. He lifted up the mattress to reveal a large pit full of wine bottles!

“Nuuuu,” she whined. “Now dey know where to looook for ma babies…”

“I’s fiiiiine,” he said before falling onto the ground, new bottle in hand. He raised his gaze up to me and started laughing. “Hot hot leg, could fry egg.”

Both of them started laughing harder than before, then proceeded to pass out.

Nopony spoke for the longest time.

“I'll go ask for a blank memory orb,” Blueblood said after the awkward silence. “Auntie Luna would castrate me if I didn't let her watch this.”

Everypony just nodded their head, still processing what they just saw.

===ooo000ooo===

It was the third day after Code Grape and everypony was on the Friendship Express back on our way to Ponyville. Everypony was excited to finally head back home and relax after such a stressful trip.

And sooner than I had hoped, all of my friends had left for the food car. Leaving me alone with Zoro.

He was laying down with his eyes closed, taking up an entire row listening to a very nice song that Octavia would probably love. I was sitting directly across from him.

Come on Twi, now is the perfect time to start, part of my brain egged me on.

Or this could ruin any chance of Zoro forgiving you, leading to a series of unfortunate events, the other part mentioned.

This had been going in my head for a while before I finally agreed with my confident side. But before any words came out of my mouth, he raised a hand.

“Look,” he started. “I'm sorry for exploding at you back then. I'm bad at bottling up emotions and they sometimes explode. My fault, not yours.”

“N-no! It's my fault for trying to experiment without your consent!”

“Sigh… So I know how this trope works and I’m going to avoid it completely.” He stuck out his hand towards me. “Let’s just agree to be civil acquaintances from now on. No more awkward talks or violation of privacy, yeah?”

I looked at his hand for a moment before grabbing it, shaking up and down. “Agreed.”

It was a few more minutes before anyp- anyone said anything.

“Sooo… ‘if I were still a chick?’”

===[Zoro’s POV]===

Well, after an explanation of my one and only encounter of poison joke, we arrived back at the quaint little town. I said my goodbyes to the mismatched group of friends in order to go to Equestria’s only ‘Fruits of Discord Expert,’ Doctor Time Turner Hooves. And apparently he’s the anti social husband of that nice mail mare that gave me a muffin my first day of parol.

I knocked on the door, which was designed as a blueberry muffin, and waited. Out came an adorable unicorn filly, who I think was called Dinky. I’m not entirely sure.

“Hi there sweetie,” I said sweetly as I could without sounding like a pervert, “is a Doctor Time Turner in today? The Princess pointed me this way.”

Her eyes widened, from awe or glee, I couldn’t even tell with Observation, and she slammed the door in my face. Good work small adorable child, always deny strange adults entry without an adult you trust.

After hearing a few strange sounds and running feet, the door opened up to reveal a brown stallion with with darker shaded mane wearing blue suit pants and a white button up shirt.

“So, you’re Zoro, yes,” he asked me in a british accent. “Sorry for the wait, I just got the letter. Come in, come in!”

I nodded to him and stepped inside, taking off my boots and placing them by the door. It was the polite thing to do when entering the house of the only person who could actually help me. It was actually a very nice house, lots of clutter that made it feel very lived in. The smell of, you guessed it, muffins wafted in the air, making me feel a tad sorry that I didn’t steal some of Pink’s chimichanga thing.

He had me sit down at the couch, which was in a very good condition. The small unicorn was sitting next to me, gaze never leaving me.

“Muffin,” the doctor motioned towards the filly. “Would you mind getting some things for snack? Daddy and Samurai need to have an adult conversation.” She nodded and hurried to the kitchen.

“Nice place you have here,” I said.

“Well, you can thank Ditzy for that,” he replied. “Mare always had an eye for details. But enough chit chat, you’re here about the Fruits of Discord, yes?”

“Where I’m from, they’re called Devil Fruits.”

“Ah yes, I got that in the letter, too. Mind explaining that bit for me?” Oh look, note taking devices.

“Well, the fruits are said to have an individual devil inside of each of them, granting their powers and… taste, I think. And I’m assuming they still have a weakness to water? Specifically ocean water?”

“Yes, that was a weird tidbit, but the weakness is there.”

“So where they came from, most of the planet is water. And I mean most. And the Sea God doesn't like the devils within the fruit, so he placed a curse on them and anyone who eats them. That's honestly the best you’re going to get. The only one who would possibly know about the actual origins of them would be Vegapunk… or Oda.”

“Huh, well that’s unfortunate,” he said. “We had just thought that they were created by Discord, so at least we have some actual information regarding them. We did find it weird that all of them would follow that rule.”

“Yeah, that’s what the sciency folks are still trying to figure out.”

“So now you want some info? Oh thank you,” Time Turner said to his I’m guessing daughter, who had just handed us cups of apple juice and a giant muffin each. I’m starting to get the sneaking suspicion that most of the pastries eaten here are these- HOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING!!!

“Well now, let’s get on to what I know. As the ‘World Authority’ on these fruits, I of course have eaten one myself.”

Okay, this piqued my interest. I’ve only really met two who had for sure eaten Devil Fruits, them being Baskerville and Ignatious. Other than them, I’ve heard rumors of others having ‘other worldly abilities,’ but most of them turned out to be some sort of lost magic. Sombra had been one of those cases, seeing as how the Dark Dark Fruit couldn’t turn Blackbeard into a smoke cloud of shadows. Maybe. I’m going to be honest, I’ve only read up until halfway through the Big Mom Arc, so I have no idea of how a lot of things are or if it ever ended. For all I know, Oda probably became immortal and just decided to f*** the fans by making the Water Water Fruit a thing.

“Mind showing me?”

“But of course.” With that, he held out his right hand. After a second, there was a toothbrush in it. “What I have eaten was known as the Warp Warp Fruit. If I’ve touched it with my right hand, I can warp it to my side. With my left hand, I can warp only myself to one place where I’ve been. Granted, at most I can only travel maybe five kilometers.” Okay, that sounded dope! And potentially OP. “Inanimate objects, I can warp no sweat. Another pony or other species, it takes a bit but doable. Ten is probably the max I can do without passing out. And keep in mind I can only warp them to my side, so no instantly seeing the Princesses for my Muffin here.”

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask about that,” I motioned towards the filly. “Isn’t this national security things here?”

“I’m helping Papa in his research on the funny fruit,” she said with a voice that just made you want to squeeze the cuteness out of her. “I’m his pro-ti-jay!”

“Yep, that’s about what I was expecting.”

“Do keep in mind though, Zoro,” he started. “‘Devil Fruits,’ as you call them, are dangerous in the wrong hands. Only the world leaders, their next in lines, and their second in commands know about these, plus researchers like myself here.”

“Alright, so what’s the situation for when a devil fruit is reincarnated?”

“Well, so long as we get to it before anypony is stupid enough to eat one, we just shove them into Canterlot’s Taboo Vault, seeing as how they can't decay. It's a well known fact amongst farmers that if any swirly fruits appear and they turn it in to any government directly, they’s be rewarded a very large sum. And if anypony were to eat one before we could get to them, then welcome to the watchlist.”

My brain was spinning from this info that I had been searching for for so long. It seemed like a decent system, but like any it did have holes. But why keep them in one specific place? And what if an official were to not turn it in after receiving the fruit. Hmm, curiouser and curiouser…

I was brought out of my thoughts when banging was heard on the door. A quick scan with Observation told me it was… Curls and Bella?

“GET ZORO OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!” Yep, that was her. She barreled right past the doctor, dragging her sister behind her. “I don't know how you did it but fix it now!”

“Easy easy, Curls,” I said. “Why don't you calm-”

“No! I will most certainly not calm down! This is by far the worst possible thing to happen to Sweetie Belle!”

“Just what happened?”

Curls stepped out of the way, motioning towards her sister. “Go on, show him, Sweetie.” My eye was just about ready to fall out when I saw what was happening. Bella’s arms were encased in ice. Wait, no, that's not right. Her arms turned into ice! She had left frosty footsteps behind her, making a perfect trail. The hell did I not notice that? Damn you depth perception and your uselessness!

I got down onto one knee, grabbing the filly’s shoulders and looking her in the eye. I didn't feel any magic coming off of the ice. “Did you eat a weird fruit? Probably with swirls and a weird color?”

“Y-yes, sir,” she said meekly, avoiding my gaze. “It was a purple apple that grew above our treehouse.”

“Welcome to the watchlist, kid,” Time Turner said.

“What? What’s going on,” Curls demanded.

“Curls, you need to listen right now and not freak the hell out. Alright?” She nodded, taking a seat on the couch. “Now, your sister here ate a Devil Fruit. It's a Logia called the Ice Ice Fruit. Basically, she can turn into, generate, and control ice. And before you ask, it's permanent.”

The doctor immediately pulled out a worn notebook, some of the writing looking like Old Equestrian. “And you said it was a purple apple? Interesting, let me check- ah, there it is. Yep, now I need to write that down real quick.”

“Why, did you not have its description written down?”

“Oh no, I just needed to make a note about its reincarnation this time around.” And full brakes on the brain train.

“This time around?”

“Yes, whenever a fruit is reincarnated, it goes into a random fruit, altering the outer part to patch the coloration and design of the previous one.”

“That… that makes no sense!” What followed was an intense five minutes of me trying to grasp at and explain how that broke one of the fundamental rules surrounding them. Apparently mixed with the strange powers they granted, this was one of the reasons they called them ‘Fruits of Discord.’

After calming down, I addressed the very real problem of the kid having eaten one of the rarer fruits. And I agreed to something stupid.

“Thanks for agreeing to teach me how to control my powers,” she said, eyes wide with determination. “To be honest, I was worried that I'd accidentally spear Scootaloo again with a sneeze.”

“Yeah yeah,” I muttered. “Just remember: tell no one about this. That goes for you too, Curls.”

“But of course, darling,” she said. “I would never betray my country’s trust so easily. You can assure that I will remain quiet about this.”

“This is going to be the coolest thing ever!”

Why did I get the sneaking suspicion that my life was going to get more hectic than before…

===[3rd POV]===

Applejack had had a rough ride, little to do at Canterlot that didn’t involve dealing with those stuffy ponies, and was anxious to get to work. Her walk towards her family farm was uneventful but beautiful. As they were planning to change to Autumn soon, all the trees were starting to turn either a burnt orange or golden yellow. She smiled at the sight, seeing as while they could harvest throughout the year with earth pony magic, this was going to be the busy season.

Winona was the first to greet her as she walked up the steps to the farm house, running towards her master with unbound glee.

“Aw, howdy girl,” the cowgirl said, bending down to show her faithful companion some much needed loving. “Didja miss me too much?”

“Bark bark!”

“Well, that’s good ta hear! Now, let’s go get some o’ Granny’s cookin’! I’m hungrier than-” She stopped as soon as she had entered the kitchen.

All of her immediate family was sitting at the table, chatting with a figure messing with the cook ware.

Having no fur, his fair skin was exposed to the world. He had a scruffy yellow mane and what would be a very nice looking suit had it not been for the multiple rips and tears.

“... and so I said the new guy, ‘that wasn’t the oregano you dolt, that was Miss Whisker’s catnip!’” Everypony laughed at that, when they finally noticed the last Apple in the doorway.

“AJ! Yer home,” her little sister exclaimed.

“Have a seat, young’un,” Granny said. “This here feller’s makin’ a mean stew!” Big Mac just did a thumbs up.

“Hello, ma’am,” the new figure said. “You can call me Vinsmoke Sanji. I am a certified five star chef, so it’s bound to at least be decent..”

Applejack was just trying to process what the hay was happening before her Pinkie Defence Mechanism kicked in. Just roll with it, she thought.

===ooo000ooo===

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was excited. Not only was her wedding coming up soon, but she now had the chance to talk with one of her best friends.

She snuck around the castle guards with practiced ease and into the visitors sector of the castle. A spell here and a distraction there was all she needed before arriving before her target's room.

If anything was to blame for her questionable skill set, point fingers at all the sold out concerts and overbearing nobles that had plagued her life.

Just as silently as she entered, the princess closed the door without making a sound. Her target was laying on the bed, too engrossed in the novel in front of them to notice the intruder.

Cadence readied herself, her wings semi spread in order to get more lift. She leaped on top of her target, arms wrapping around them.

“Chrissy!”

Said changeling flopped around like a fish when the new weight and loud voice interrupted her Ninjas of Love 3 novel. Her scowling gaze turned to a wide grin at the sight of her friend.

“Caddy! It's been forever,” she exclaimed, hugging her nymphhood friend tightly. “I just got the letter last week, you sly dog you~! So, did you figure out the date, yet?”

“It’s going to happen in a few months! And you, madam, will be the Maid of Honor, if you decide to come. I’ve even made sure to arrange enough seats for your family!” At the last statement, the changeling princess physically cringed. “Oh, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” she tried playing off. “Mother has them doing assignments in that time period. She wants to know who the best candidate for Empress will be.”

“Oh, well that’s sad,” th alicorn mumbled. Cadence had hoped that at least Scorpionidae would be coming, seeing as she always made the best shepherds pie. “But at least you’ll be there, right?”

“Pfft, do you even know me? Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Chrysalis said, waving nonchalantly. “Now, you need to tell me everything!” And so the two females did what all females about to participate in a wedding did. They talked.

For hours.

It was around three in the morning when they decided to call it a night.

“Thanks again for this,” Cadence said. “I would have been clueless about Shiny’s feelings for years had it not been for you.”

The changeling choked up, never responding well to compliments. “W-well, awkwardness never tasted to good. Might as well move it over to something sweeter.”

“Daw, aren’t you the softie.”

Chrysalis enjoyed the moment before the Hivelink sent her a message. Straight from Mother. Had she been of the mammalian species, she would have paled or fainted. Sadly, she was a changeling. And they were meant to follow the orders of the Empress.

Replace Cadence.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, much to the alicorn’s confusion.

“Huh, about wha-” she never got the chance to finish her sentence, as Chrysalis sent a powerful sleep spell her way. But before the Princess of Love could hit the ground, green magic enveloped her and lowered her gently.

“For following orders,” the changeling princess ordered before green fire enveloped her, becoming an exact copy of her friend. Two changeling guards entered the room and took the prone princess away. Most likely on Mothers orders, she soberly thought. After all, there were only two real rules in the Changeling Hive.

Protect the Hive with your life.

Obey the Empress without question.
> Ch 10: Humans
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 10: Humans

===[Rainbow’s POV]===

It was a nice day for my usual chillaxing habits. Not a lot was planned for Weather Management, so today was just going to be the usual sunny day with a ten minute drizzle at around three fifteen. There was a strange cold front coming from the edge of the Everfree where Zoro trains, but he told me that it would be a usual occurrence from now on and not to worry too much bout it.

Honestly, he’s a pretty chill dude, but when it came to his privacy, mare did he have a stick shoved right up in there. I’m honestly just surprised that for all the talk of him being some demon straight from the pits of Tartarus he’s as good a guy as they come.

But now is not the time to worry about him, because right now is Rainbow Time. Getting a cloud in a prime spot away from the usual bustle of the town so I relax in peace, I layed down in the soft material.

It was a few minutes before I was interrupted.

“Excuse me, Miss Pegasus,” a female voice called out, directed at my spot. “I was wondering if you could help me out.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled, turning over to the edge. “What do you waaaa-” My brain stopped and I may or may not have gotten a wing boner at the sight.

Before me was a new human. A female human. A hot female human. Dark wavy mane framing her face with most of it draped over her back. She was wearing a weird white hat that reminded me of a lightbulb, a navy blue dress that showed off her god-like legs, and freaking amazing tits! Her sharp, sapphire eyes were giving off an aura of calm friendliness that just made her seem more divine than she should have been.

“I-I, uh,” I stuttered before accidentally leaning too far forward, falling off my perch. Now, me being me, I used that chance to show off how well my flying skills were in order to wow her. At least that’s what I’d like to say happened, but… I was distracted alright! You try flying with wings this stiff!

“Whooooaaaa!” As I fell, I felt a pressure on my back before whatever it was turned into pink flower petals. Eventually, it slowed my fall to the point where she caught me in her arms. Almost immediately I noticed that she was almost a whole foot taller than me. Well, almost everypony was taller than me, so it wasn’t that big a deal.

“Are you okay, Miss Pegasus?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” I said as I stood on my own. Now I’ve gotta save some face. “Name’s Rainbow Dash. Fastest flyer in Equestria.”

She started giggling at that. “Then why did you end up falling off that cloud,” she asked.

“W-well, I was a bit distracted. Now, what can I do for you?” Redirect conversation redirect conversation redirect conversation!

“Well, you can call me Nico Robin. Me and my dad came here because we heard about another human. Roronoa Zoro.” Okay, so that leaves two, possibly three options. One, she’s a fan of his. Two, she had no idea if there are other humans here and decided to check this lead out. I’m leaving three to Rarity’s and Flutter’s ‘novels.’

“Well, I know where he stays, so I can bring you there. He doesn’t really like po- people around when he trains,” I say, trying to switch to the lingo I always hear him talk with.

“Well than, lead the way,” Nico Robin said cheerfully. After a bit of walking, I realized something.

“Wait, did you just say your dad?”

===[Octavia]===

Today had been nothing but insane. This morning I woke up in my and Vinyl's home/shop and what do I find when I go down stairs? Why my marefriend talking with a giant animated skeleton that looks like it belongs to the flashiest noble in Canterlot. Now, given the kind of things I’ve subjugated myself to since moving from Phillydelphia, one would expect that I was used to this sort of thing but nope! It didn’t help when the two of them started cracking out all the skeleton jokes that Vinyl usually saved for Nightmare Night.

“Why are skeletons so good at cutting down trees? Because they’re LUMBARjacks!”

“Yohohoho! That was a good one, Miss Vinyl! You know, I never expected anyone here to have the STOMACH for skeleton jokes here!”

“HAHAHA!”

“Okay, seriously,”  I interjected. “Why are you even here? How are you even here?”

“Ah, yes, well, that is something I’ve been wondering myself,” he, who had previously identified himself as Brook, said. “One minute me and my daughter were watching a show of ours, waiting for a package to arrive and pop! Here we are in your land. Me and her are here to question the other human Zoro to see if he has any bright ideas about why we are here.”

“Fair warning, Brook,” Vinyl said. “I hear he’s quite a numSKULL! HAHAHA!”

“YOHOHOHO!”

“I… I’m just so done with both of you right now…”

“Well, look on the bright side,” Brook said, pulling off a violin from . “Until he’s free to talk, I can regale you with music from my home!” He then began to play a new song that I had never even heard the basic melody to. Hmm, learn new music at the expense of bad puns, or send him away and drink my coffee in relative peace.

“Fine, you can stay, just let me grab my sheets.”

===[Zoro’s POV]===

So, three days and Bella is now getting a good grasp on how to produce and turn into ice. Now the only real problem is the control.

See, the real problem with giving Devil Fruits to beings who have magic, especially unicorns, adds on another level of difficulty. Because they are so used to using magic to do almost everything, they unconsciously mix magic with their Devil Fruit ability. Case in point:

“I’M SO SORRY, MR ZORO,” she wailed while staring at my frozen lower half.

I just stared blankly at it, before bringing out Shusui, slicing the ice to a breakable layer. If I’m being completely honest, I’m very much used to the cold. Can’t really live in Colorado near the Rockies without dealing with cold weather. My only problem with this is that when the ice melts, I will be covered in cold water. And these are the only real set of clothes I own, minus a bathrobe and pair of underwear I stole from Curls’ store. Hey, I don’t get paid jack shit and you know she would have given them to me. I just didn’t want to suffer through all of the posing again.

“It's alright, kid,” I said. “We just need to get you to seperate your magic and abilities. That’s the only real problem I see.”

Now, you may be asking why I didn’t ask our benevolent ruler for an anti-magic ring. Well, to simply put, the kid here would get dependent on it.

Think like this; You are training to be a martial artist, but with a catch, you can’t use your less dominant arm during training. And so you train this way until you’re actually good at fighting. When a tournament comes around, you are then allowed to use your arm. Due to the lack of training, that will become a very obvious flaw that many can exploit and will make it so you lose almost every time.

I am training her in a way to where she can both use her magic and Devil Fruit effectively with no negative repercussions. Another thing you need to keep note of, this is her third day. She is doing amazing if I’m being completely honest.

“Thanks for this, Mr Zoro. I’m sorry that this is taking so long…”

“Meh, not like I really had anything better to do.” Fun fact, my life is actually very boring! Well, until it gets exciting, but it’s that way for everyone, really. “Besides, this lets me do something constructive for once.”

She giggled at that. Geeze, never have I had so much giggling around me before. Well, then again, my group was almost completely a sausage fest, so…

After another hour of me constantly getting cold and wet, we decided to call it a day. For her, at least. Me and Egghead had a bit of a thing to do, so that was happening. If you’re interested, I’m teaching her how to cook. For some reason, the only household chores that she’s good at is reorganizing the furniture. It’s both hilarious and sad.

And just when I decided that it was just a normal day, there be a tad bit of chaos. A scream sounded from the outskirts of the town proper, followed by- IS THAT HAKI!

I put everything into Observation to find the cause of- there!

I rushed forward, pulling out Wado Ichimonji and Shusui. Five seconds, and… NOW!

I slashed down at the source of the Haki, but they moved out of the way. When the dust from my attack cleared, it revealed a very familiar character. Before me was Vinsmoke Sanji, and it looked like he just escaped Tartarus or something. Okay, this was probably a Displaced, and with the way his posture is and he’s not freaking out says that he’s probably been one for a while. Only question is where does he belong. I caught a glimpse of hoofprints, so whoever screamed left.

“Oh, great, it’s this asshole,” he muttered. “Well, you want to go, too?”

I raised my blade towards him. “I might. It all depends on your reasons for being here.”

“Ha! You know what? Gentleman’s bet. You beat me and I’ll tell you my life story! I kick your ass, and you tell me.”

“Fair enough,” I said, playing a decent song that I thought fit the mood.

“That… is fucking amazing and you’re going to tell me how to do that,” he said before rushing me. I raised Wado, it being covered in Haki, and decided to go on the defensive.

His kick was powerful. Like, stupidly powerful, I think some of the ground under me cracked.

Red and black sparks erupted from where his leg and my blade met, signifying that he, too, had Conqueror's Haki.

He followed up his attack with an overhead kick, which I jumped back from. He stood on his hands before flying towards me. I didn’t have enough time to block with Wado, so I covered my torso with Armament in order to take the blow. And then I learned a very good lesson.

His Armament was stronger.

My guts felt like they were being crushed as he shot me towards the nearby orchard.

Now, here’s a little tidbit that I think you should know: I am a speed fighter. That basically means that my style focuses on getting near my opponents quickly, attacking them just as fast, and getting the hell out of there. Dodging is always preferable in my opinion, and that is why my style also relies mostly on Observation.  And while I do have the original’s monstrous endurance, I don’t have the defensive capabilities that some others have. A metaphorical glass cannon, if you will. Granted, that class cannon has a layer of titanium surrounding it, but my point still stands.

What that also means is that I’m not very good against defensive fighters, people who put more value in defence and timing powerful blows as opposed to what I do. For all speed can do, it isn’t effective if it can’t break through.

As I was picking myself up, I barely dodged another strike of his. Sanji went crashing through another tree, utterly decimating it.

So, deciding that destroying Apple’s, well, apples wasn’t the best thing I attempted to take this out of the orchards. Well, by using Shusui like a bat. Was it disrespectful, maybe, but I didn’t want to go into debt before I have a chance to make money. Oh, yeah, my meals are being mostly paid for by the Crown, rest I either hunt or steal, mostly out of habit. Nearly took everything that was in Pink’s shop in spite in my first week.

As he sailed past me, I swiped at his chest, but he did the damndest thing. See, I forgot that the original Sanji could fly.

He jumped into the air and kept jumping. He then pulled a Sonic, spinning round and around before shooting down.

It didn’t take a genius to know what he was doing, so I brought up my blades in a block. With the angle I had them in, I should be able to at least shove him a sizable distance away.

Sanji brought his leg down, our Haki clashing, red and black sparks going everywhere. With a great force of effort, I did finally manage to shove him back. By about five feet.

It was going to be that sort of day, wasn’t it.

“You know, you sure are handy with those things,” he said.

“Thanks, Blondie,” I replied. “And you’re not too bad either.”

“Ah, yes, nicknames. We going to play that way, Chia Reject?”

“Oof, that smarts. Mind if we do this away from someone’s livelihood? I know the owners and they’ll probably be pretty nettled about this.”

“Ah, but of course, wouldn’t want to ruin them financially from our squabbles.”

“For a dude who looks like an italian hobo, you sure know a lot of big words.”

I felt heat immediately rise from his direction. Aw, crapbaskets.

Before I could do anything, he sent a devastating kick to my side, sending me flying towards the town. Luckily, I didn’t hit any more trees, so yay?

As I skidded to a halt, Blondie shot out. Man did he look flaming. And I don’t mean in the homosexual kind of flaming, I mean we was literally on fire.

“Hellfire Spectrum: Wrath! Brûlant Shot!”

His red, fiery foot landed near me, because I was smart enough to dodge, burning the ground to blackened soot. Jumping off the ground, I put Wado into my mouth and pulled out Kitetsu.

Area of town; somewhere between residential and market areas. Fifty three people in the vicinity, with only fourteen within the danger zone. If I attempt to get them out of harm's way, he may miss the intent of my actions and put more people in danger. If I attempt to explain or yell out for them to flee, he may use that moment to strike. And if I charge in, it may just end up with more hurt. Damn, what the hell is the best option. 

Unfortunately, he pulled me out of my thoughts with another shout, indicating an attack as is anime custom.

“Hellfire Spectrum: Lust! Ouragan Jambe!”

The fire surrounding him changed to a pink color and started to swirl around him like a…

Wait, isn’t ‘ouragan’ french/prench for ‘hurricane?’ Is this attack a pun on ‘Love is a Hurricane?’ Tao f***ing dammit.

All you need to know was that with a kick of his leg, pink flames shot towards me in a spinning fashion, and they grew until I was staring at a fire tornado. For those of you who don’t know, these things can occur in nature and are very dangerous. Unlike normal fires that are stuck to certain surfaces and only die when they suck in all the oxygen in the area, these little bastards continuously move so it doesn’t burn out.

I turned my blades in the correct way that was needed, and jumped in. Did it burn? Hell yeah it did, but I didn’t care, because I needed a feel for the force of the spinning. I also needed to be in the center of it.

“Three Sword Style: Dragon Tornado!”

I spun with equal force of the flames in the opposite direction, stopping their circulation and since they lost their momentum to keep moving, they just kind of died out.

“Hellfire Spectrum: Pride! Diable Jambe!”

And as usual fashion in my life, my opponent capitalized on my moment of pause, hitting me on the left side of my head, where I didn’t have an eye, with a leg covered in black.

I’m pretty sure that I flipped a few times, but that didn’t matter. What did matter was that I’ve got a good idea of his fighting style and figured out his flames.

This black fire had neither the intense power from the red flames, nor did it have a special visual effect of his pink ones, but man did it burn. Wrath, Lust, Pride, these are of the seven deadly sins, so that means he probably has four other colors if he’s got that whole motiff going on. And that means that each of them have different effects depending on the color.

I stood up and took to my pose once again, adjusting it a bit in preparation for his strikes. Ebony flames surrounded him, giving him a dangerous aura that was very well earned. His legs tightened up, ready for the moment to strike. Unfortunately, things did not go in his favor.

A purple beam shot towards the human, coiling around him. He adopted a sickened face before stiffening up, falling to the ground.

“Zoro! We came as soon as we saw the flames!” Oh, it's Egghead, Butters, and Curls.

“I had this, you know,” I stated, shearing my blades.

“Unfortunately, darling, we like this town as is, so we shan’t allow you to continue.”

“Let me out of here, you bastard,” the ensnared human screamed at me. “I swear when I get out of here I’m gonna kick your ass!”

“Sure you are, now mind telling us why you’re even here?”

“I-if you don’t mind, that is,” Butters sputtered.

He seemed to take notice of the girls for the first time and his eyes went wide. His entire demeanor changed, adopting a sort of humble look in his features and tilting his head a bit further down.

“I apologize if I have inconvenienced any of you fair maidens in our fight,” he said calmly. “I was getting a bit energetic towards the end, so that is my bad.”

Wait what? So he shouts and swears at me, but does a full 180 towards women? Is he the legit Sanji or a very similar Displaced in terms of personality? Well, one or two others noted that I was similar to the actual Zoro, so it’s not that weird.

“So, pal,” I started, getting on his level. “Mind telling us why you’re here in the first place?”

“To upgrade to pal or friend, one must like tacos and be willing to eat a gallon of ice cream with me,” he said in a robotic voice, glaring at me.

“Shame. Not a fan of Mexican food.”

“Can you two stop flirting for one moment. Now, darling, would you kindly tell us your name,” Curls said, using her wily female powers on the helpless male. Poor sod doesn't stand a chance.

“My lady, I am Vinsmoke Sanji, previously a Five Star chef at a cultural restaurant in Boston.” Oh, does that mean I can finally get some actual ribs!

“My, that's very impressive, Mister Vinsmoke. Would you also mind telling us why you and Zoro were fighting?”

“You see, I was on my way to the town when I came across a pink earth pony, who screamed, ran away, and then this le salaud attacked.”

All eyes turned to me.

“In my defence, if there’s a human and screaming follows, they usually did something.”

“Isn't that the reason you were targeted at first,” Egghead said. “And I thought you said that you didn't start fights.”

“Humans who have potentially harmed people within my Observational Vicinity are the sole exception to that rule.”

“And Gilgamesh?”

“Oh like we had anything better to do.”

“To be fair,” our captive spoke up, “A lot of humans aren't exactly eager to ask permission to start trouble. We are a very stupid species.”

“True that.”

Before anyone could put in another word, Pinks arrived with a big… something. Then it started playing music, with her singing with it.

“Pinks… the hell is this?”

“This is the Welcome Wagon, silly. I greet everypony with it when they come to Ponyville. Don't you… remember…” She looked as though I had just told her shocking news, and went perfectly still. It was kind of freaky.

She went to open her mouth, likely to replay the song for me, when I used the failsafe.

I rushed forward and placed my index finger between her eyes, causing her hair to become flat and falling to the ground on her knees. “Ssh now, only dreams.”

They all just stared at me in bafflement.

“Wha- How-”

“Don't beat your head over it,” I said. “I just learned about her off switch from some mare who called the bakery while I was there. Think her name was Mud.”

“Can you please make her stop that… it's kind of scary,” Butters asked skittishly.

“Alright, then,” I replied, and booped the pink mare right on the nose, her hair returning to the cotton candy style of before.

She blinked, looking confused. “Whoa, that was crazy. What was I doi-” She saw Sanji and was inhaling when I clamped my hand around her muzzle.

“Already did the song, and I think Egghead needs to send a letter, yeah?”

That lit the fire under their asses, remembering that good ol’ Sunny may want to know about Blondie here.

Flinging him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, I followed the girls to their usual meetup sight.

Wonder if we have anymore tea left.

===[3rd POV]===

Everyone was having a very interesting time in the Library. Turns out, Apple had housed him last night and convinced everyone that he wasn't some violent maniac and could be trusted. And to add the icing on the cake, Rainbow had found another Displaced, who was dressed as Nico Robin, and they went off to collect her dad who had also come to Equestria. This has been one weird Monday.

Zoro was sipping some zebafrican red tea, sitting next to the now free Sanji who was enjoying a cup of black coffee.

“Did you know about them,” the swordsman asked the chef.

“No,” he replied. “Only thing I've heard about humans were stories on you.”

“Hm.”

Zoro tuned out the girls asking Sanji inane questions and tried to rationalize what was going on now.

Multiple Displaced in one Equestria, with no Tokens it seems. With the exception of what I heard about Jason, most Displaced that live in the same world are usually related to each other in some way. Robin and her dad are obvious, but what about me and Sanji? 

I was an introvert as a kid, and never really made friends as a teen before arriving here. Sanji doesn't seem like anyone I would know, nor did Robin react towards him and differently than me. The worst part of all of this is that after a millennia and a half, my barrier doesn't even work anymore. Do you know how much it costs to have one of those hentai abominations teach you to manipulate the Void?

He signed. “I should probably try to find this Auric guy,” he muttered under his breath.

“Who’s that,” Rainbow asked.

“Just a man I know who can do shit I can't,” he answered.

A knock on the door caught everyone's attention. “I'm back,” Robin said through the door. “I've got Daddy with me.”

“Okay, bring him in,” Twilight said, still unsure how to feel about this.

“Here he is,” Robin said as she entered the room. “His name is Nico Brook!”

“Nice to meet you, everyone! Yohohoho!” All the ponies and dragon stared blankly at the afro wearing skeleton before they decided to freak the hell out!

What followed was an intense session of shutting the fuck up, coaxing Fluttershy out from underneath the table, and stopping Twilight from firing off high level holy magic.

“What a lively bunch you all are,” Brook said, enjoying a cup of tea similar to Zoro's.

“That's one word,” the swordsman muttered. “Okay, so while we wait for her royal Sunniness to get down here, we’ll be having a little chat. Chuckles and Daisy,” he said pointing to Brook and Robin, respectively. “How did you get here and how long ago?”

“Well,” Robin started off. “Daddy and I were sitting in our home when the doorbell rang. We looked out, and found a package on the ground. See, we had ordered costumes for a convention in a few months, and Daddy here wanted everything to be perfect.”

“This is true,” Brook agreed. “I'm a tad neurotic about things like that, but I digress. Along with the costumes, there were two items that we never ordered. Being this cane,” he motioned to the purple cane, which probably had his blade, “and her book.”

Robin held up a book with a very intriguing title. “Devil Fruit Encyclopedia.”

“Devil Fruits,” Rarity asked. “Like that thing that poor Sweetie ate?”

“Sweetie did what?”

“Calm down, Apples. Daisy, I suggest you take that to a person who lives in town. Earth pony, brown fur, British accent. And keep their existence a secret. Public doesn't know about them, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“What are Devil Fruits,” Rainbow Dash asked. “Seems like something really important.”

“That, is a question for your sun goddess to answer. She’s the one who kept you in the dark, pun intended, so she’ll tell you.

“Now Blondie, your turn.”

“But of course, Varric,” he shot back. Damn, he’s catching on.  “Well, it was Costume Week at the restaurant I worked in, dressed up, worked like I usually do, then some little Asian girl gave me this,” he presented the gold lighter from the Whole Cake Arc, “and next thing I know, I'm in pony land with a pocket of never-ending cigarettes and the abili-”

A flash of yellow light and a popping sound caught all of our attention. There were the two alicorns in their full glory, serene smiles adorning their faces until seeing the skeleton in the room.

“Hi, its me, don't shoot him with magic, he isn't one of those Grogar Fanatics’ creation,” Zoro stated, sliding in between them.

Celestia looked at the human, then to the now waving skeleton, and back.

“Then would you kindly explain,” she asked in an almost irritable voice.

“Devil Fruit. Revive Revive Fruit.”

“Of course,” she sighed. “Now who are- YOU!” She rushed over to Sanji and held him up by his collar. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF TARTARUS!”

“TARTARUS?!” Everyone asked, minus the two new humans. And they knew the legends surrounding it.

Tartarus, the famous ultimate prison. Only, less of a prison and more of a bullish landscape. Imagine, if you will, the shared child of the Null Void from the Ben 10 franchise and Oblivion from Elder Scrolls. In addition to that, it's said that there are natives that look like they came straight from Berserk. Yeah, it's that bad. The only entrance and exit are two massive gates known as the Gates of Tartarus, because everyone is imaginative about this sort of thing. Anyway, it was guarded by one monster, Cerberus, and that was something even Zoro didn't want to tangle with. Only the Princesses have made it obey orders, and it was throw anyone who tries to leave back in.

“Hold up, why did you even throw him into there in the first place?”

“Have any of you ever heard of the Red Prance Incident?”

No, because last time I went to Prance, it was just a small trading town with bad odors, Zoro wanted to comment, but held his tongue. At least now it has cakes.

“It happened thirty years ago,” Rarity started. “Nopony really knows how it happened, but a flood of blood swept through almost a third of the city.” Everyone just kind of stared at her, surprised. “What?”

“Rarity,” Applejack started. “Ya can't bother to remember when applebuck season starts, but ya can recall something tha’ happened on the other side o’ Equestria when ya were jus’ a filly?”

“Darling, when it comes to Prance and Manehatten, I daresay that I know more than Twilight.”

“In any event, Rarity is correct,” Celestia said. “And this… devil is responsible.”

“Do you mind if I ask where in the city this happened,” Zoro asked, a small smirk forming.

“Hmm, I believe that it happened primarily around the shopping area at the time.”

Robin noticed the growing smirk on Zoro’s face, then realized what he was going at. “Was there anything going on at the time?”

“It was the annual Défilé de Mode, one of the fashion shows that every mare worth her bit would dream of entering.” At this point, Zoro had to cover his mouth to stop from laughing, shoulders shaking violently. Sanji saw this and started glaring. Then, the shit hit the fan. “It was an outrage, you see. It even dyed that year’s line of Celestial Secret Langerie red.”

“HAHAHA! YOU FREAKING PERVERT,” Zoro shouted out, rolling on the floor busting a gut. The chef tried stomping on his head, only for Zoro to roll out of the way. All the ponies in the room were deeply confused until Robin decided to explain the laws of Anime Blood Physics, causing them all to blush heavily at the realization of what it was that he did.

“... In all honesty, I’d probably end up doing that too,” Rainbow said.

“RAINBOW DASH!”

“What, Rares, it’s true. Have you seen how skimpy they dress?”

The princesses gave each other a look before huddling together in a corner, whispering to each other. That rose some eyebrows but everyone's attention was mostly focused on Sanji failing at hitting the still laughing Zoro.

After a few minutes, the sisters turned towards the group. “We have come to a conclusion,” Celestia said. “Now- Colts? Sigh, Luna?”

As soon as the navy blue aura of magic surrounded the two men, bringing them into the air, both of their faces went green, sick to their stomachs. The Princess of the Night let them go, their attention straight on the alicorns in fear of another levitation ride.

“Vinsmoke Sanji,” the Solar Princess stated. “In light of these facts brought before us, you are hereby pardoned of your crime-”

“Whoohoo!”

“And will be put into probation, being monitored by the Apple Family.”

“Dammit!”

“Zoro, for your act of selflessness in providing defence for an Equestrian citizen against a potential threat, you are relieved of your probation and given full Equestrian citizenship.”

“Whoohoo!”

“Nico Brook and Nico Robin, the two of you shall be taken care of for the time being, seeing as you two have no home to go to.”

“If I may, your majesty,” Rarity spoke up. “I have more than enough room to take care of the two of them until they find their own housing.” The princesses turned towards the human and skeleton in question, a look asking for their opinion.

“We’d be happy to take you up on that offer, Miss Rarity,” Brook said.

“Oh, speaking of, Sunny, Moony, mind if I ask you a favor?”

“And what would that be,” Luna asked warily.

“What, don’t trust your newest citizen, Princess?” Just the way he had said her title sent shivers up her spine. He went over to them and whispered his request.

“That.. is an odd thing to request,” Celestia said. “Definitely not undoable, but just… bizarre.”

“Meh,” was his eloquent response. “For now, I’m going to have a word with the humans, you ladies sort yourselves out and Firecracker in bed, he fell asleep mopping upstairs again.”

He pulled the humans into the kitchen, closing the door. Turning to them, he put on a serious expression. “Alright, so I know you have questions, but save them for after my rambling.

“We are Displaced, or Dimensionally Misplaced. Multiverse theory is actually Multiverse Law and there are hundreds, if not thousands of us scattered throughout the Multiverse, all in our own Equestria. Why Equestria specifically? No clue. We can call on and summon other displaced using Tokens, like these,” he took off his earring everytime the Void replaced it, giving the three humans and watching their shock at hearing his voice. “Unlike most, those are communication devices for anyone with a copy. That’s the jist of it, so any questions?”

Robin raised her hand. “Where will we find Tokens?”

Zoro shrugged his shoulders. “No idea, they just... pop up from time to time. Usually causes comedic relief for everyone besides the recipient.”

“Do we have to make our own Token,” Brook asked.

“No, not really. It’s just a sort of ‘call on a favor’ thing. Guy I knew named Ben just sort of called back all his Tokens. No one’s gotten word from him since.”

And then Sanji asked the question on everyone’s mind. “Can we go home? Can we go back to normal?” Silence followed for minutes before Zoro let out a heavy sigh.

“For most… never. There was one exception I know but the details are sketchy. But for the most part, we’re stuck here.” Silence dropped upon them, emotions boiling together at this new information for them. Happiness that they weren’t alone. Sadness that they couldn’t go home. Anger at the bastards that tore them away from their lives.

Zoro clapped his hands together, grabbing their attention. “Well, I've got, like, a thousand splinters in my ass, so I'm going to take a shower date with tweezers. You lot may want to go socialize with the natives.”

The humans then spent the next few minutes talking to the Equestrians before something weird happened.

A rip in the Void opened up above Sanji. Looking up at it, something shot out and nailed him in the face.

“Son of a motherfucking Bitch! The flying fuck was that!”

Robin picked up what appeared to be a necklace with a symbol that almost any anime fan would recognize. “Sharingan,” she muttered before Sanji tore it out of her hands and angrily walked towards the stairs.

“Greeny! Get your ass down here! One of your friends!” They all heard a thump and rapid footsteps.

Zoro ran down the stairs, running into Sanji and making the two of them fall into a portal that opened up underneath them.

Everyone just stared at the spot they were for a few minutes, not sure as to what just happened.

“Wha-”

Another portal opened up, Sanji jumping through. “Well, that was fun.”

“What was that,” Celestia asked him.

“Multiverse theory is actually Multiverse law,” Sanji quoted.

Before they could question it, yet another portal opened, this time with Zoro leaping out with key differences. He was wearing the same clothes as Sasuke Uchiha from after the timeskip, and both his eyes were open.

“Yo,” he said.

“What the hay just happened,” Twilight asked.

“We just traveled dimensions,” Zoro said. “You get used to it after a while.”

Just as the unicorn was about to make a big deal about this, her mentor stopped her, placing a hand in front of her. “Now Twilight, don’t worry about this now. I’m fairly certain that our newest citizen will be willing to give us a written explanation about what we just witnessed later.” Now it was Zoro’s turn to shiver at his new… title? Oh by Tao what have I been roped into?

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell you everything later. Now get out of here, you have a city of fully grown brats to bow down to.” Luna stuck her tongue out at him before a flash of light and a popping sound indicated that they were gone.

“Well that was fun,” Sanji commented. “Maybe I’ll tag along next time, eh, Greeny.” With that, he patted Zoro’s back.

And shit hit the fan.

Instantly, Zoro’s hands were around Sanji’s wrist and flipped him onto the table, breaking it under the force. Everyone cried out, startled at this. Then Twilight noticed the expression on his face.

It was a familiar one to her, one that she had seen on Moondancer on more than one occasion. It was a panic attack.

Heavy breathing, terrified look, sweat rolling down his face.

“Don’t ever...EVER… touch my back,” he stated, the force of his words quieting everyone. He walked out the door and went in the direction of the Everfree Forest. Pinkie rushed out after him, hating when someone was feeling not happy. As she tried catching up to him, she stopped.

The glare from those red eyes of his stopped her in her tracks, freezing her in place. With that, he continued onward, wanting to be alone for a good long while.

===[3rd POV; Canterlot Castle]===

Night time for Princess Luna was of mixed feelings.

While she simply loved basking in the beauty of her domain, what with the beautiful stars in the sky and the serene calmness that comes with it, she can’t help but remember that it was also the night that changed her.

Because she had taken too much pride in her night, she rebelled against the natural order that she had previously spent centuries defending. Because of her jealousy that her beautiful domain was ignored in place of the day led to her turning her blade upon her sister. Her loneliness caused her to throw reason and logic out the proverbial window.

She shivered at the recollection of the memories and feelings that led to her paranoia and selfishness, reflexively trying to tie them back down into the deepest part of her psyche. It wasn’t good that she bottled up her emotions and doubts, but centuries of habits are hard to break in mere months.

She had taken a liking to wandering the castle in the beginning of the night, seeing as how her subjects didn’t automatically start dreaming when they went to sleep, like some people thought.

“Huh, now I’m using Zoro’s terminology. I must be getting used to seeing him,” she said to herself.

“No more than your dear sister,” replied a voice that sent shivers up her spines. She turned around and saw a face that she was extremely intimate with. Nightmare Moon, her darker persona, was examining one of the many stained windows that littered the Canterlot Castle. This particular one was of an old battle against Zoro that was early in their campaign against him. “Who would have thought that she would accept enemies into her fold just like that.”

“Get out of here, Monster,” the princess commanded. This had been a common occurrence for her, often seeing an illusion caused by her trauma and made real from her magic. At least, that was the explanation she often gave this.

“Wow, and here I thought Sister was a buzzkill,” she giggled. “Can’t I just talk to my favoritest princess ever?”

“I said begone. You have no place in these halls.”

“Haha! Oh that is rich. After all, we are practically the same pony.”

“We are nothing alike!”

“Yes we are,” she said, dropping the sultry tone. “The moon always has two major phases. You represent the Full Moon, a bright, shining example of all that is beautiful with the night. I am the New Moon, where the only light that shines is the dim stars, millions of lightyears away, where all that is ‘evil’ in the darkness dwells. We are one in the same, little princess.”

“Stop it stop it stop it,” she frantically muttered, grasping her mane tightly. She didn't want to hear more from this demon that had ruined her life.

“You aren't even her equal anymore. Look around, and you can clearly see it. You live in her castle, with her city and her ponies surrounding it. She even trusts the human more than you.”

“Be quiet,” Luna sobbed, fear and anxiety stabbing her heart.

“The moon is waning, little princess. Let us hope that its successful, no?”

That was the final straw, the alicorn crying out in a mix of fear and pain before teleporting away. But the nightmare stayed, smirking in the moonlight.

And the being in the rafters was thankful that his marionette was successful.
> Omake 1: Assault on Tambelon
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Omake 1: Assault on Tambelon

The area that is known as the Badlands today used to be a massive expanse of forest, called the Tambelon Fief. To most who ventured far enough into these ancient woods, it was almost comparable to the Everfree. Almost.

This forest was dark enough, yes, but not because of the clashing Harmonic and Chaos magic, but from one creature’s Necrotic magic.

Now, necromancy was not outlawed. In fact, it was commonly used in hospitals of all places. For a terminally ill patient, and normal healing magic wasn't working, a few doctors would give parts of their life energy in order to stabilize them to the point where they could heal naturally.

It was, however, frowned upon to control the dead, but not outlawed outright like Dark Magic, magic that corrupts everything of the user.

Then Grogar appeared.

Thousands of years ago, a goat mage known as Grogar rose up. Years before, the goats and griffins waged war for now unknown reasons, but the results were known everywhere. The goats were wiped out.

All that survived of the once prosperous mountainous clan was a small kid who was taken in by an unknown family, along with an alicorn and a draconequus, two previously unknown species.

While the alicorn was caring and the draconequus was free spirited, Grogar was consumed with grief and anger, but hid it well from his surrogate family. It took years, but eventually he had learned the art of magic. More specifically necromancy.

The first thing he did was the attempted resurrection of his clan mates. But what the young goat did was create the unholy creatures known as zombies, flesh animated by trapping the soul of its owner inside that were under the complete control of the castor. The sight and knowledge that he had not only failed in bringing back his true family and subjecting them to the unimaginable horror that such an existence brings, his mind became broken. He became consumed with grief and rage. He became obsessed with revenge.

He altered himself so then we was neither alive nor dead, an eternal limbo. A lich.

Next he constructed the focus for his magic, a small bell hung around his neck at all times, that would amplify it’s powers and range of control. Then, he started to conquer.

Eventually, he and his army had grown to an amount in which Grogar was comfortable enough to take on his main target, the ones to whom he owes all his pain and suffering, the griffins.

But to his dismay, the alicorn and draconequus had heard of his deeds and was adamant to bring it’s end about. One way or another.

And not even with all his power and numbers could hold against their combined forces, eventually sealing him inside of his own fortress located deep in a forest corrupted by his actions.

In grief of what they were forced to do to what was basically their brother, the draconequus placed himself into a magical slumber while the alicorn used all her power and helped to rebuild the world that had been affected by the goat.

Thousands of years afterwards, she grew weary of the guilt and burden, so she split herself into two, giving birth to two new alicorns to be raised under the guidance of Queen Platinum Blueblood.

And there Grogar lay dormant until a human was thrown into the world, causing a series of events that would lead to his revival…

===[1 year before the UEF Battle, 3rd POV]===

Surrounding Castle Tambelon were an army of undead creatures of all races, ready to serve their master’s will. Each was augmented by magic in order to be superior to the living in almost every way possible. None dared to go against this unholy army, who had previously destroyed the buffalo tribe’s capital, Roam.

Then, they arrived.

Seven figures stood at the brink of the possible destruction of the world.

“Man, an’ here I thought I looked mindless when drunk,” the large minotaur grumbled. This was Golden Hoof, a legendary warrior noted to be the only one to master a variation of one of the Green Demon’s signature moves, the 360 Pound Phoenix.

“Trust me, you look much worse,” the griffin said. Artemis Grimfeathers was a master of the bow, accurate enough to hit almost anything within her line of sight.

“Now that was rude. Was there any reason to be so crude,” spoke the zebra. Xante of the Ishvalan tribe was a leading expert in both potion brewing and bomb making. Sometimes both.

“T-that's a lot of zombies,” the young diamond dog stated. Baskerville was a young pup who had said to have made a deal with a demon straight from Tartarus, which was closer to the truth than some would admit.

“Of course there are, sweetie. But it's our job to clean up this mess.” This was Clover the Clever, a unicorn who had mastered over fifty spells, which was unheard of, and knew over three hundred.

“I'm just fired up to see this many enemies,” an adolescent drake said. Ignatious was an arcano dragon, a rare breed whose fire changed properties depending on where they hatched and grew up, along with a whole slew of other abilities.

“Well, I think it’s time to announce ourselves guys,” the last figure said. This was Roronoa Zoro, only known human and most wanted person on the planet.

All nodded and spoke their confirmations, getting ready for the charge.

When the first line of zombies noticed the advancing group, it was too late for them.

Golden Hoof twirled his battle axe over his head before slashing it horizontally. “Wind Scar,” he shouted as a blade of air was thrown towards his opponents. Everything that got in its way before it dissipated was cut in half before turning into dust. “Shame I can't keep a trophy from these wankers.”

Artemis took to the skies, firing arrows so fast her claw was but a blur to most. As she hit headshot after headshot, she thanked her past self for buying the Infinity Quiver from that Umbra guy. “Look on the bright side, now you don't have a pile of corpses as an excuse if you end up tripping.”

Xante was expertly dodging weapons flung in his direction, all while leaving little presents in his wake. He giggled maniacally as he heard the work of his beautiful creations. After all, true art was an explosion!

A hoard of zombies were headed towards the battle when they felt vibrations coming from beneath them. They leaped backwards as a hole appeared where they were. From said hole emerged Baskerville, shaking a bit from the anxiety. A few let out a chuckle as the pup seemed to slink deeper into the ground. Almost immediately, a pillar of darkness fired upwards before taking on the form of a massive, demonic canine, eyes glowing purple. More than one dissolved from the sheer sight of the towering monster. With a single swipe of its arm, the majority of them dissolved, with the rest being bitten in half. The pup was thankful that his shadow could do all the fighting instead of actually having to face them himself.

But the most damage was that was caused was from what the group had dubbed the “Monster Trio.”

“Explosion! Dragon Lightning! Gravity Maelstrom!” Spell after spell, Clover was quickly showing the reason why she was the only student ever taught by Archmage Starswirl, the stallion nearly every country agreed was the ‘Master of Magic.’ The zombies couldn't even get close to her, a Guardian Circle incinerating any undead foolish enough to enter the golden sphere of holy magic. The scariest part of her was the fact that she didn't even look tired even after firing off multiple high level spells.

Ignatious was swiping away at his enemies with unbridled glee. After all, all dragons enjoyed the hunt. He was just a bit more… enthusiastic about it that most. Three zombies surrounded him, stabbing him with their spears. The weapons went right through him, and he smiled. An explosion of fire that enveloped nearly everything in the vicinity went of. From it, a trail of fire shot out into the sky. When it was high enough, it began to take shape. It molded itself into the upper torso of a dragon, eventually leaving Ignatious with his lower half made of white flames hundreds of feet in the air. His left forearm turned into fire, and he readied himself.  “FIRE DRAGON EXPLODING FIST,” he shouted out, shooting his fist towards the army. The following explosion obliterated a massive amount of enemies. He laughed almost maniacally as he shot more destruction at them.

The final member of this ragtag group was less flamboyant in this actions. His blades were a blur, nothing getting within three feet of him without being shredded. Each slice was precise, clean, and elegant. Anything that got in his way, even the Skeletal Dragons, was destroyed in an almost demeaning manner. His eyes hardly ever separated from the focus of the attack, Tambelon Fortress.

It was your usual, cliche villainous castle. Victorian Gothic in architectural design, plenty of gargoyles (that may or may not have been sentient), and was large enough to nearly hold their evil ego. Spikes and arches everywhere, with the whole thing being completed with a tall tower directly in the center of it. Why is it that villains never try out Colonial or something?

“I’m going in,” the human told the others through the earrings each were wearing. “You guys stay out here and thin out their numbers.”

“Bad idea, Zoro,” Clover commented. “Grogar, in legends at least, could take on Faust and some spirit called Discord. They could both use tenth-tier magic like it was nothing.”

“Yeah, man,” Artemis commented. “The whorse has a point. He has God level magic. You have three metal sticks.”

“Now when the hell did that e’er stop him,” Golden Hoof said. “Go have fun, lad! RRRAAAAGGGHHH!HA! Two hundred sixty seven! I’m winnin’ ya damned bird!’

The human just shook his head, chuckling.

With amazing precision thanks to his now healed depth perception, Zoro launched his signature attack, cutting through both the enemies and terrain. Running at a decent pace, he headed straight towards the imposing castle.

“He’s going to get killed one of these days,” Clover said to the other five.

“At least we know that it’ll be dramatic,” the dragon commented before unleashing another torrent of white hot dragon fire. “And guys, I'm winning. Over six hundred.”

“Oh shove it up yer scaly arse!”

Inside the castle were not the usual pony or random beast as zombie soldiers. Zoro was taking down undead ranging from kirins to lynals, and was still looking for the damned goat!

“This place is a maze,” he groaned, running into another dead end. Trying to use Observation Haki, he wasn't able to determine where the necromancer. The only bad thing about all this was that he couldn’t find where there were zombies. So, doing the practical thing and being equally fed up with the lay out, he ran through the walls randomly until he found anything useful.

Only problem was that after a while he ran into and over a stairwell. He fell in an almost comedical fashion down them, arriving at the bottom, a small voice in the back of his head warning him about the stairs too late. “I hate you brain,” he groaned, getting back to his feet.

It took a few more minutes before finally arriving at the (stereotypical) final boss door, that was large enough to definitely contain a BBEG’s ego.

Popping his neck, Zoro pulled out two of his katana, mentally prepping himself for whatever lay beyond. He pulled his knee to his chest and let loose a kick that even Sanji would begrudgingly approve of, the doors slamming open.

Inside would be a majestic room were it not for the five skeletal dragons that took up a good chunk of it.

Zoro lept to the side as five torrents of purple, necrotic flames were fired towards him. The reason why he dodged and didn’t just Haki his way through it? See, necromancy is strange in that it is the only magic that ignores the effects of Haki.

He waited for the flames to die, listening to the footsteps of his prey. When one started sniffing where he previously was, he striked.

Rushing forward, he sliced the skull off of it in a second, not even waiting for it to dissolve before moving on to the next. He ran up one of their backs, motioning for the others. He then jumped out of the way as the three breathed fire on their compatriot. He spun and slashed off the legs on one of them, put away his blades, and with less strength than if this was a living dragon, swung it at another, them exploding in a shower of dust and bones. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough to dodge the last one hit him with its tail, sending him flying into the wall with more than one broken bone.

In the amount of time it took him to get his bearings, the skeletal dragon was on top of him, pressing it’s weight on his chest.

Reacting almost instinctively, Zoro pushed it’s leg up, redirecting it before the dragon could unleash it’s flames. He rolled out from under it, brought out his white katana, and sliced it vertically in half. It shuddered one last time before dissolving into dust and bones, like the others.
He got up slowly, feeling for exactly what was broken. Seven ribs, possibly more, and maybe a spinal hairline fracture. Damn.

He reached into the belly warmer, pulling out a vial of red liquid. A health potion.

“Hope this works,” he muttered, drinking it. His entire body shuddered, rejecting the magical liquid. He fell to his hands and knees, trying not to puke his guts out before the offending potion could do its job. In the meantime, he suffered the equivalent of severe food sickness while being punched in the gut as he felt his body shifting everything back to normal.

When he felt close to 90%, he let loose. He heaved, entire body shaking. Green bile mixed with a red fluid, whether blood or potion he didn't want to know. After this, I'm going to punch Xante in the face. Then help him collect materials for more.

As he stood, he felt something off. The room temperature had fallen a few degrees, barely letting him see his own breath. He had no time to react as a purple orb of energy hit him in the face.

He was confused at first, seeing as nothing happened, before he felt it. His left eye was vibrating, slowly building up pressure. So he did the only logical thing.

Zoro ripped out his eye.

He flung it aside, watching as it continues writhing, before becoming malformed, and finally exploding.

Holding a hand to his now bleeding socket, he ripped off a part of his overcoat to use as a makeshift eyepatch.

“Well well, seems like my informant was correct about you,” a voice said, disrupting the uncomfortable silence.

Zoro looked up at the source of the voice, finding it easily. On a balcony next to a convenient set of stairs was the lich. Whatever muscle mass he used to have was gone, with loose skin hanging off his bony frame. Dark purple fur with a few patches missing covered him, ethereal red eyes gazing down at the human. With every movement on his part, a small bell around his neck jingles.

“Grogar,” he asked.

”Yes, that would be me. I do apologize about the eye, but I wanted to see it for myself. Imagine, a sentient creature with no internal magic! The only things similar in that regard are the demons of Tartarus. Fascinating!”

“So no more eye bomb spells?”

“Quite. That was a little spell I mixed up a while ago. Uses internal magic to make the entire body one big explosion. Seems it also works on magically healed body parts. Need to take note of that…

“But that is not why you are here! No no no! Classic story here, No? Slay the evil necromancer, save the world from utter destruction, bed all the mares. Or stallions, I don't judge. It has been a few millennia since I’ve been awake.”

“Don't misunderstand, Goat,” Zoro said, pointing Wado Ichimonji at the lich. “I ain't doing this for the glory and gore. Technically, I lead things to this point, so you’re my mess to clean up. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Grogar just stood there, staring at the human after his proclamation. “Wow, just wow. Do you not have any sense of the dramatics? Oh who are we kidding, you samurai type are always to stoic, so its a given, I suppose. But last I checked, it was my cult who brought me back, not… Now I remember. Oh this should be good~!”

Shuffling was heard from Zoro's right, where a large doorway he hadn't noticed was. Twenty something zombies, all wearing robes similar to Grogar’s, led by a very familiar pony zombie to the human. He was Star Shield, a thestral who used to be the Captain of the Night Guard, a former member of Zoro's Party. And the only pony to learn Haki.

For three years he traveled with the strange band of misfits, laughing and fighting at their side. But that changed when they decided to hide out in some old ruins around three months ago. Turns out, he had been part of a cult that had been trying to resurrect the goat for hundreds of years, and they only needed one thing, his bell. Well, guess what was within those ruins? Yeah, after finding it, Star Shield attempted to poison Zoro, seeing as how he was the biggest threat to Grogar’s soon-to-be rule, and fled off into the night.

Zoro narrowed his eye, gazing at the group. If he was feeling anything at all, it didn't show. He raised his sword, and the horde rushed forward.

He swung his blade with precision, hitting each one in some sort of vital point, turning them to dust. One by one they fell, until it was only the undead thestral.

“I’m… sorry…” it moaned out.

“You're only sorry your master sent you to die,” Zoro responded before slicing it in half.

“Dang, now that was cold. No remorse for a former ally? And people say I'm bad!”

“You’re very talkative for an undead ruler of evil, you know that?”

 “Evil? No no no! I'm not evil. I'm just extremely unhinged and sadistic! Surviving genocide does that to you.”

The human just shook his head before rushing towards the necromancer, swinging vertically. Grogar's response was so turn into a plume of black smoke, avoiding the katana entirely.

“Hope you don't mind, but I've been branching off in umbramancy and Dark Magic. I've been meaning to ask, by the way; how is it that you and yours without magic are destroying my zombies? Holy weapons or that hockey stuff?”

“Yes,” was his response as he tried to get one hit on the goat.

“Oh you think you’re being cute, hm? Well, how about this?” The smoke surrounded Zoro not unlike a small tornado. Out popped a bony hand, shooting dark purple fire at him, burning his right arm.

Zoro screamed in pain as his arm burned, parts of his overcoat fusing to the flesh. He tried slashing at the smoke, attempting to make an opening, with no success. He even tried a Dragon Twister with no real effect other than making himself slightly dizzy.

Bolt after bolt of magic struck him, some he barely dodged. Just because he’s undead I can't sense him with Haki? That doesn't make any sense! Stupid Haki sensing bullshit.

 “Haha! I don't know the last time anygoat held out this long! Simply amazing! And there are others in your group, I wonder if-”

As he launched another spell, something stung Grogar. Pulling back, he was both impressed and angered. Up until his elbow, his entire arm was cut in half. Zoro was chuckling, ripping off the overcoat. He winced a bit as some burnt flesh was torn off, but nothing he couldn't handle.

“Thanks,” he said, tying a bandana around his head. “I need to stop relying on Observation so much. Its a bad habit. And now I know your tell. All your magic is released from your hands, so I just need to cut them off!”

Grogar simply looked at the swordsman, grabbing his arm. As he lined them up, an eerie purple glow was emitting from the cut, fusing the two back together. “Easier said than done, mortal. So what if you do? You can't kill me, as so many others have proved! You are but a simple warrior! A glorified thug! What is a thug to a God!”

“Screw you I’m Taoist!”

“Quite.”

As they went at it, it was clear that they had reached a standstill. Zoro still couldn't severely injure him, while every time Grogar tried launching a spell Zoro cut him off, quite literally.

After this had went on for a while, the necromancer had an idea. It was a simple cantrip, Smokescreen covered the area in a thick, black fog. In the protection, he quickly summoned a random undead, and used an illusion to make it a doppelganger, ordering it to attack. While that went on, he prepared a mid-level Dark Magic spell known as Psyche Copy, which downloaded the majority of the target’s memories and information on their personality and their quirks. The only downside was that it was physical contact only, but that was what the doppelganger was for. A distraction. Grogar quickly placed his hand on the back of Zoro's head.

And he wasn't disappointed by what he saw.

Zoro, startled, decided to try his hand at another Dragon Twister, getting a much better result and killing the fake goat.

He turned around, barely dodging a binding spell.

“You know, after all this is said and done, I think I'm going to need some more minions. I think your pack will do just fine~!”

He leaped out of the way of an attack by the human, smirking. “Don't you dare lay a finger on them!” And the necromancer continued his rant, ignoring the comment.

 “Maybe I'll start with the unicorn. Such a waste of magic potential, following you. Or maybe the little pup? Such an interesting ability, and young, so he’ll be easily influenced.”

“Shut up you bastard!”

“I do like the zebra, too. I see a lot of myself in him. But the one I think I'll love the most would be that scared, lonely kid from Denver, Colorado.”

That froze him right in his tracks. Zoro stood rigid, a cold sweat starting. “H-how the hell-”

“Oh that’s right. I know all about the little girl abandoned by Mommy~!”

 “Shut up,” he weakly responded.

“I know all about little Zarabeth Miller, who is too afraid to let people get close~! Too afraid to rely on others~!”

 “Shut up shut up shut up.”

 “About how she is too afraid to be weak, to be powerless~!”

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up!”

 “And most importantly, I know how afraid she is of going back to being Daddy’s little plaything~!”

That was the breaking point.

“AAAGGGHHH!!!”

Grogar felt a wave of… something go through him, shaking him to his very soul. What was that? Magic? No, he can't do that. His memories don't show him using it. What else… What about Haki? Observation, Armament… Conqueror?

While he was trying to figure out what that was, Zoro subconsciously activated Asura, all three eyes looking at the goat, filled with rage.

“Oh, a type of Astral Projection? Very well then. Now, let’s finish this.” Grogar readied his spells, confidant that this would become easier as his opponent wasn't in the right state of mind.

And the Green Demon went on a rampage.

===ooo000ooo===

Outside, was much the same as when their de facto leader stormed the castle, with them kicking major flank, as Clover would put it.

But that all changed pretty quickly.

“AAAGGGHHH!!!”

Everyone stopped what they were doing, turning towards the source of the sound.

“Zoro,” Artemis whispered.

Then they felt the wave of power, finding it nearly suffocating. All of the undead were also affected, the magic holding them together disrupting before failing all together. The army was no more.

“What in Tartarus was that,” Ignatious exclaimed.

“I don't know,” Clover replied, “but we need to retreat.”

“Retreat? The blazes is the matter with you, Whorse,” Artemis called out. “Zoro's still in there!”

“I know that, Turkey! But he was probably where it started! Either he was the cause of it, or he’s totally fine! Either way, we don't know what that was and we need to leave, now!”

“She’s right,” Golden Hoof agreed. “We need ta go, now.”

“But Zoro,” Baskerville whined.

“He'll be all right,” Xante reassured him. “He won't go down without a fight.”

The pup nodded, grabbing onto Artemis’s leg. She rubbed her talon on his back, trying to comfort him while the unicorn fired up the teleportation spell.

In a flash, they were gone.

===[One Week Later]===

For three days Zoro rampaged, destroying everything in sight. By the end of it all, nothing was left. No castle, no forest, no bodies. Only scars in the earth that could possibly never heal.

His group retrieved him when a scrying spell showed when he finally stopped. He was ragged, bloody and nearly broken. It was a miracle that he ever woke up.

“What doth thee think, King Somber Heart,” Princess Celestia asked the king of the Crystal Empire. They had just arrived, the thousands of troops finally arrived from the Frozen North in order to combat the necromancer Grogar.

“Very interesting,” he said, inspecting the ground. “Worrying, but interesting.”

“What is,” Princess Luna asked.

“Seems like somepony spread Grogar's ashes throughout the area.”

“Ashes? So then…”

“Yes. Seems like we were beaten to the punch,” he replied, standing up. “I can't say I'm not happy that my people don't have to fight, but I worry about who did this.”

“Hmm… there were reports of him in the area, but never any real confirmation,” the Solar Diarch contemplated.

“Then I'm in his debt! I personally don't know if I could go against something like Grogar! Haha!”

“Shall We return then, Sister,” Luna asked.

“Verily,” she responded. “We shan’t keep Our ponies here longer than necessary. We apologize for wasting thy time, King Somber Heart.”

“Think nothing of it,” he said bashfully. “It's always a pleasure to see you two again, no matter the situation.”

As the Sisters left, going to inform the army that they were headed home, something caught Somber’s eyes. It was a small bell, almost unnoticeable. Seeing how strange it was that this was the only thing still intact within this now barren wasteland, he pocketed it for study when he went home.

And no one heard it’s soft jingle.
> Ch 11: Chef's Opinion
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 11: Chef’s Opinion

===[Apple Family Farm, Sanji’s POV]===

My name is Vinsmoke Sanji, well, my new name is. Before this whole Equestria debacle, my name was Vincent Siciliano, son to my two immigrant parents. My father was Italian, while my mother was French. Obviously, I took after my mother.

When I was on Earth, I had opened a restaurant that was fairly popular. I was often working as both chef and waiter, mostly because I loved to see people's enjoying the food that I created. That feeling of knowing that you made something that people love, there's no other feeling like it in the world.

On Halloween, my life completely changed. We were doing a costume week and one of my employees, Fernando, showed me the chef of the Strawhats as a costume idea. Quite honestly, I could relate with a lot of his views. The hands of a chef are for creating works of culinary art. It is unacceptable to waste food of any kind. Always be courteous to those of the opposite sex (Mama beat that into my head very well). He named a lot of his attacks in French, so that was an extra plus in my book. So I decided to dress like him. And then a little girl gave me the golden lighter.

Do you know what it's like, feeling like a stranger in your own body? Being able to do things and remember things you never could? Before all this, I didn't know even a fifth of what I do now concerning my career. And you can bet that I never learned how to fly by kicking air. None of this was natural, hell it still wasn't. 

Anyway, I woke up in some random forest, and tried to find some civilization. And then the Prance incident. Quite honestly, it's a fucking miracle that I didn't die after flooding a Goddamn city block in my nose blood! All I can say as an explanation is cartoon logic. Then the equivalent of a living god threw me into Hell, or Tartarus. I won't go into detail about my thirty year vacation in there, but it was terrible, hot, and I somehow became the king of it. Don't ask how, I just kicked some demon’s ass and they started to kowtow to me. Then some ugly ass centaur helped me break out of there, I heard about another human, and the rest is history.

Now, I am staying on a farm until it is proven that I am not a complete danger to the people - or ponies in this case - and can be trusted. And that apparently entails this…

“No.”

“Sanji, ya gotta do this.”

“Miss AJ, I don't think you understand. I don't do kids.” 

“Well now ya do.” I glared at her. “Look, Sanji, just show her a few things, alright, nothin’ big. She's feelin’ right useless, what with Sweetie’s powers an’ Scoots doin’ swords with Zoro.”

“Well if that's the case, why don't you ask him? He seems to be the one that likes kids.”

“An’ he's helpin’ out Twi with some sorta spell. Anee-may-shon, I think.”

===ooo000ooo===

“HEALER DOWN!”

“OUT OF MANA!”

 “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”

The giant blob of cheese and tortilla that used to be the quesadilla that Zoro was having for lunch before Twilight zapped it with magic had enveloped the unicorn in its grasp. And while Spike’s dragon fire could harm it, there was too much of it. It shuffled a little closer before it’s center started rippling. From it, Zoro's three blades emerged and the monstrosity pointed them as the three figures huddling up against, ironically, the horror section.

“AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

===ooo000ooo===

“Well it doesn't sound like my problem.”

“Sanji, yer gonna do it, whether ya like it or no.”

I wasn't moving, trying to be stubborn. Unfortunately, the mare in front of me was equally as stubborn. This is what happens when two stubborn people get into an argument, neither person wants to give ground to the other. We stood there for a good minute before one of us reacted.

“Tch, whatever. I'm going to make dinner,” I say, turning towards the farmhouse.

“This ain't over, Sanji!”

“Don't care,” I shouted back. 

I passed Big Mac, who learned early on to not get between AJ and I when we start arguing. Doesn't happen often, but it does on occasion. Like just now. He only nodded to me, then returned to his work.

When I entered the farmhouse, I was greeted with the sight of Granny Smith sleeping on her rocking chair. I can honestly say that of all the ponies I've met so far, she was my favorite. She reminded me a lot of my Nonna, who had passed away a few years prior to my being sent here. Even had that same weird habit of talking complete nonsense with a few helpful nuggets of surprising wisdom.

Rest in peace, Nonna.

Over the last few weeks, I've been taking over the kitchen, even rearranging a few things so they made a bit more sense. And after the first day, I was nominated to making dinner from Monday to Saturday, Sunday being Granny Smith's.

As I walked towards my work area, I heard noises. Specifically the oven gas burner and light humming. “God dammit,” I mumbled.

Inside was the kid who AJ was trying to make me take under my wing, cooking something. I don't have a problem with her personally, but I just hate working with kids. 

I quietly walked up behind her with practiced ease. Huh, grilled cheese. Definitely something a kid would do.

Honestly, I just watched her work, slightly interested. She got done with three before she noticed me.

“M-Mister Sanji! Ah didn't see ya walk in,” Applebloom scrambled.

“You shouldn't have.” She stared at me, waiting for what I was going to do next. I inspected what she made before taking a bit of it. Might as well, because I'm sure as hell not letting food get thrown out.

“Huh, not bad. Could use a bit of a mix on the bread for more flavor, but not bad.”

“Um… couldjya show me how? Makin’ the mix, Ah mean.”

This is why I said God dammit earlier. Because this whole thing seemed to be set up for a sort of acceptance/bonding experience between us that was probably planned from the beginning. And by God I'm falling for it. Fucking kids, man.

“Grab me some butter, some herbs, a bowl and the pastry brush. And get some tomatoes and lettuce while you’re at it,” She rushed off, collecting everything I asked her to. I showed her that if you melt the butter, add in a few herbs, and lather the bread with it before grilling it, it greatly improves the taste. Use the same stuff on paninis and they are heavenly.

Anyway, we made grilled cheese for dinner, AJ nodded in approval (I was severely tempted to flip off her smug face, but I am a gentleman, so such things are beneath me), we had to cut them up for Granny Smith, and the kid was munching away happily at my side.

Is it too late to go back to Tartarus? At least they had succubi.

===[Ponyville Market, Next Day]===

“You okay there, Big Mac?”

“Y-yep.” 

“You're certain?”

“... Yep.”

“I heard hesitation.”

“Nope.”

“And that was a very quick response.”

“...”

“Alright then.”

The red stallion insisted on carrying everything we got from the market by himself. Honestly, I think it's from having to prove his machismo, since Zoro and I are living here now. Because how manly is kicking a tree when compared to creating mini earthquakes with a well placed stomp. True story, that. Felt like a Pokemon when I did.

And after buying everything we needed, the stallion decided to head back home, leaving me to get ingredients for tonight's dinner. I'm thinking Moussaka, vegetarian style of course. You know, I've never actually gotten the Apple family’s opinion on eating meat, figuring they were only herbivores. 

“-ell I'm not sure I like the new Fluttershy.”

Oh, it's Pinkie and Rarity. Should I avoid, or go say hi.

I'll have to go with-

“Oh, Sanji! Get over here, we need to ask you something, Darling!” Dammit.

It's not that I don't like them, it's just that out of all six of the girls, these two can be a bit… much. Rarity is a lot like my Aunt Claudine, and while I loved her, she was the kind of person you take in moderation. And Pinkie was just bat shit insane. I'm just shocked at how well the green haired man can tolerate her.

“Of course, how can I be of assistance?” 

“Hiya Sanji! Have you seen New Fluttershy yet?”

“New Fluttershy?”

“Yes, it seems that after dear Fluttershy attended an ‘assertiveness class’ held by somepony named Iron Will, she has been… not as gentle as before.”

“Isn't that the whole point of an assertiveness class?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“New Fluttershy is acting like a jerk!” I raised my disable eyebrow at that.

“Yellow Pegasus who couldn't even hurt a worm, is being a jerk? After how many sessions?”

“Um… I think one?”

“... I don't mean to be rude or anything, but ponies seem to not be the most practical of thinkers-”

“Yep!”

“So do you think that she’s just taking this guy’s advice too literally? Like, ‘attack the day’ is actually taken as literally attacking the day?”

“...”

“...”

“So we shouldn't bring the Princess here or...”

I pinched the bridge of my nose while I sighed. God dammit Pinkie.

“I'm going to grab the green idiot to talk to her.”

“Why can't you, Darling?”

“Because I still have other stuff to do at the farm after this.”

“Well, it's probably not a good time to bother him…”

“And why not?”

“Because he's helping Twi clean up the… mess, we made yesterday.”

“I'm not even going to ask,” I say, sighing afterwards. Demons are easier to deal with than these girls are. “Well, have a good day.”

I turned away, waving as I walked towards the library. One of the more utilitarian uses of Haki was making a mental map. You can tell where most of the roads are from how many people there are in an area, and mixing that with Zoro’s Haki signature (probably not the term but it works) I can figure out the fastest route.

So after figuring that out, I walked onwards. I did make a few stops to get ingredients for dinner, but I believe we have most of them.

When I did arrive, it was an… experience.

The inside was just covered in cheese, with some parts looking burnt. The unicorn looked exhausted next to a pile of clean books, probably due to some spell. The dragon, Spike I think, was scrubbing the burnt parts off with what looked like steel wool. And sitting at the table in his Sasuke outfit was the swordsman himself, eating from a glob of the yellow stuff from out of his hands. He turned his eyes to me, chewing slowly.

“... I don't even want to know.”

“That's probably for the best.”

“So, uh, you may want to talk to Fluttershy. She took some self assertiveness classes a bit too literally.” I heard him mumble a swear, shoving the rest of it into his mouth before getting up.

“Twi, Spike, I'm going out. Be back in a few.”

“Mmmmmmkaaaay…….”

“Alright, but then it's your turn,” Spike said, giving him a look.

“Yeah yeah, no problem.”

And so we walked through the town, a few stopping to stare at him.

“Hey, how many outfits do you have?”

“Like, two and a half.”

“Hm. You may need to get more.”

“Meh.”

===[3rd POV]===

Shining armor walked briskly towards the Princess’ chambers. Ordinarily, he would do these things in the throne room, but concerning the gravity of what he had to talk about…

The two Solar Guards guarding the door stopped him, going through standard procedure with scanning him for either a Glamour Charm or a Changeling Cloak, though the latter was less expected, what with how close the two countries’ symbiotic relationship was.

They allowed him passage, saluting as they did so. He saluted in return, and continued onward.

The Princess’ chambers were, unlike what most ponies would expect, fairly quaint. Although, perhaps ‘quaint' wasn't the correct word to use. After all, it could still hold a small family home with the amount of space, but at least it wasn't covered from top to bottom in gold and marble.

The Princess herself was sitting at her small table set on her balcony, drinking a glass of Château Cheval Blanc 507 AN. Thankfully, none of the really good stuff. Those had a single digit.

He kneeled before her almost immediately. “Your Majesty.” She motioned for him to come to her side before casting a Silence spell.

“Any news, Captain Shining Armor?”

“No, nothing.” She grimaced. It was not a good look, and only once had he seen it adorn her face. That was not a good day. “He seems to have been lying low, and we’ve heard nothing, not even rumors.”

Celestia’s grimace grew, her taking another drink from her glass. She hated this. She hated when enemies actually had brains, instead of simply charging into like a madman. It was certainly why she had disliked Zoro way back when.

“Keep eyes and ears open, especially in obscure communities that aren't capable of properly defending themselves. I don't care if it was a simple rumor or a body, we need every detail. But remember, discretion is our main priority.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

She sighed. “I've often wondered if I've made the right choices concerning this one, but no longer. I've given two the chance that they wholly deserved, but I shall not give Tirek that satisfaction.”
> Ch 12: Musician's Commitment
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 12: Musician’s Commitment

===[Carousel Beautique, Brook’s POV]===

Hello, my name is Dennis Brooks, and I was once human, now… I don't even know anymore.

When we arrived in this land, Equestria, I nearly had a mental breakdown. But I didn't- I couldn't, because I was with my daughter, who was equally as lost and scared and confused as I was. I had liked to believe that we were fairly normal people, who would continue being normal throughout our lives. I was no longer allowed to have thoughts like that again.

I was human, and now I am an undead skeleton. Heh, I'm not even that, what with our latest excursion having combined my DNA with some sort of mummy-alien. Whenever I walk down any streets, whether here in our ‘new home’ or some other universe, I can feel the stares, the fear in a person's eyes when they look at me.

“Be careful, that's a monster.”
“You can't trust an undead. They will sooner attack you than anything else.”
“Why is it in our town?”

That last one honestly hurts the most, being called an ‘it’ and not a ‘he.’ It made me feel less than what I am. I was a famous musician once upon a time, and now I'm lucky if I don't scare the daylights out of anyone just by saying a simple hello.

But, there are perks to my new body. I don't have facial muscles, only a skull, so no micro-mannerisms for me. The only indication to what I was feeling was my tone and my body language. Luckily, I was a very talented performer.

It was currently noon on the pony version of Halloween, Nightmare Night. I heard that one of the Princesses, the blue one, was being possessed and was forced to be trapped on the moon for a thousand years by her sister. And this holiday is based off of that, I think. To be entirely honest, Miss Belle sort of skimmed over the entire history of it and went straight to the customs.

Due to my daughter's wishes, I was dressed as some character she called ‘Ainz Ooal Gown.’ From a show called ‘Overlord.’ 

… it may not make me feel better when thinking of the implications, but I do like the shoulder pads.

“Does everything look good, Sir,” Rarity asked me, putting down her tools. 

I looked myself over in the mirror. Boy did I look regal! If only I didn't have the afro, it would look much more serious.

“It's amazing. Thank you for putting your time into making this,” I say, slightly flapping my long sleeves like a bat. Oh this was fun.

“Nonsense, it was good to get a challenge like this every once in a while. Keeps me on my toes, so to speak. Oh, and Robin wouldn't terribly mind if I tried making a line based off this, would she?” I'm certain what we’re doing is probably breaking a few copyright laws, but I tell her that she wouldn't mind too much, but would like a little credit.

I paid her the bits I've earned from working in the music shop ran by a lovely couple named Vinyl and Octavia. I really do like them, especially since the former really appreciates my jokes.

As I walked outside, I smiled to myself. Halloween was always my favorite holiday. It was socially acceptable to scare people, you get free candy, and all those adorable costumes that Rach- Robin wore.

I was initially confused as to why she wanted to go by the character’s name, not her own, but now I understand. It's just like when a kid moves to a new city and decides to go by a nickname. New life, new name. I had thought it was a little fitting, given our situation, so I decided to go along with it. 

I saw a few children running around, enjoying the chance to be allowed to eat candy way past their bedtime, a Pinkie Pie playing along in a chicken suit. A few of the customers that frequent the store waved at me, myself mirroring them.

As I walked towards the meeting point we had agreed on, the Golden Oak Library, I could see just how much effort my daughter put into making it look like an enchanted fairies house. Multiple colorful mushrooms and moss/glow glitter covered rocks surrounded the base of it, while hundreds of tiny lights adorning the branches. Twilight had set up an additional illusion, a light green aura surrounding it with the occasional illusionary butterfly horde or two. 

It was simply magical. “Yohohoho.”

My mood fell a little at that. Not even my laugh is my own.

I slapped my cheekbones, beating away the melancholy. There is no room for that brand of negativity on any sort of Halloween!

I walked in through the door, smiling as the interior was just as enchanting as the exterior. Sitting at the center table were three people, engrossed in a talk about candy.

The purple unicorn, Twilight, was dressed in very stereotypical wizarding robes, the type that you would find in D&D LARPs. Even added a long, majestic beard that any man would be proud of. Young Spike, bless his heart, was dressed in the most adorable dragon onesie I have ever seen.

“Daddy! You look amazing,” my little girl said, rushing to hug me. I happily embraced her back. I loved moments like this, with my daughter, it made me feel like I was truly me.

“Why of course I do, you chose it after all! Yohohoho!”

She was, simply put, dressed as Sailor Moon, one of her favorite ‘anime' as she calls them. She had even asked to borrow a blond wig from Rarity, who had gotten even the pig tails right. Where she had gotten her moon-wand though remains a mystery to me.

“Excellent! Now all we have to do is wait for Applejack, Sanji, and Zoro then we can head out,” Twilight stated, with the young drake giving an enthusiastic “Woohoo!”

Ah, yes, them.

In all honesty, I didn't have a problem with Zoro or Sanji. Sanji may be a bit on the brash side, but he was courteous and helpful, always wanting to be kept busy. I can admire that a bit.

Zoro on the other hand… He rarely takes anything seriously from what I've seen so far, and is a bit abrasive to most around him. But what really shows himself are his eyes. Even before he got a transplant with those red eyes (which Robin calls “the most broken ability in all of fiction”), you could see a deep sadness, being heavily repressed. When you had seen those eyes, you realized how fake his smiles and smirks were, how they simply helped keep the mask he wears whole. It wasn't healthy at all. The only reason I haven't approached him about it because, well, the incident the first day we met him flashed in my mind. How he had acted like a wounded animal, lashing out then running off. I don't want to know what would happen if I tried to dig up the source of his sorrow, his pain.

A knock was heard, all of us turned towards the door. 

“Sorry we’re late, Ah had trouble with this ol’ thing,” Applejack, in a very good scarecrow outfit, said. Behind her was the blond human, who…

Didn't do anything?

“Sanji! What the heck, man,” Robin said, gesturing to him. “Why aren't you in costume?”

“I am,” he said. He pulled out a bottle of hair gel, mixed it into his hair, and moved the locks usually covering his eye to the side. He spread his arms wide, a suave grin on his face. “I'm Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Awkward silence.

“Um… what's up with your eyebrows? Is that even natural,” Spike asked, breaking the silence. And it was a very good question. While the swirl on his usually exposed eyebrow was closer to the bridge of his nose, the other was completely opposite of that.

“Spike, that was very rude of you! Now apo-”

“No, no, it's fine, Miss Twilight,” he said. “Completely natural reaction.”

“Yes, but very uncalled for.”

“Sorry for being so… blunt, Sanji,” Spike said, head down.

“It's fine kid, now let's move on. Where’s the green moron?”

Almost like it was planned, a portal from the void opened before us, and out popped the aforementioned swordsman. Except, he wasn't in his usual clothing, or even a costume. He was wearing a camo zip up jacket, a black shirt with ‘Jerk' written in white, baggy jeans, and what I think are romeos on his feet. He had a strawberry milkshake in one hand and a plastic bag with black fabric poking out of the top.

“Wassup,” he said, taking a sip from his drink. He took one look at the chef before he started giggling. 

“And what's so funny, greenie?”

“Nothing, Steve Buscemi.”

“I don't know who that is, but I feel like it should be an insult.”

“Zoro, can I ask you something?” Oh no, that's her scary voice. Like a smart man, I get out of the line of fire whenever a woman is angry, even my own daughter. 

“Go ahead.” Truly, he knows no fear.

“I do believe we had agreed to go as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask. Dare I ask why you aren't in costume?” Oh no, I think I can see steam. She's always taken dressing up seriously, but it got worse once she learned of conventions.

Zoro put the bag and drink onto the table, and held his hands up. “Alright, but promise me you won't get mad.”

“I don't make promises that I can't keep.”

“Fair enough. Okay, so, I was minding my own business-”

“Bullshit!”

“... Completely uncalled for but sure. Anywho, I jumped over to some version of Earth and ‘acquired' the suit, because of how bad Curls was backed up on work. Afterwards, I decided to get a treat for myself. Well, some jackass spilled his fancy-named-coffee all over the silk suit, I find a guy who was also attacked by the drink and we ended up putting all the Starbucks out of business in, like, twenty minutes.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“If it helps, they made some horrid creation called a unicorn-something that tasted like blue dye and disappointment.”

Robin sighed. “Fine, I'll take it. I'm guessing the guy you met was called Dan?”

“How'd you know?”

“There was a show about him. One of my favorites. Was he obsessed with revenge, fire, and a need to scream at people?”

“You did hear about what happened to Starbucks, right?”

“Movin’ on,” Applejack so kindly interrupted for the rest of us. “Are y’all ready to head out fer Nightmare Night or what!”

That got a cheer out of all of us.

As we all walked outside to enjoy the night, I heard a conversation between Zoro and Twilight.

“Huh, that old coot? You do know that no one here is going to get your costume besides me, right?”

“I have faith in them that they'll know just who I'm dressed as.”

“Hey, Twi! You make a nice weirdo-clown!” Pinkie emerged from... somewhere, startling Twilight. Zoro just smirked.

“And your faith has been crushed.”

===ooo000ooo===

The festivities were underway and the whole town was having fun. Games galore were held in the town square, while someone called Zecora was setting up for some big show. Zoro, Robin, Spike, and eventually those three girls who always seem to be in trouble went door to door getting candy, the older Apple family members were operating an apple-bobbing station, Sanji was just wandering around, occasionally doing a game.

As for myself, I was doing what I do best. 

I was making music! 

Granted I was editing a few words here and there for the ponies to understand, but they were having fun! Pinkie even agreed to be the female singer for me. 

This here was what I simply loved about music. It doesn't matter who or what is making it, music can change the entire atmosphere depending on the notes and tempos. I could both make a crowd filled with excitement one moment and have them emotional the next, all with a few simple changes to the same song. There was almost nothing else I lived for than this.

After a few more songs, I decided to call a break and watch Zecora, who turned out to be a zebra, do her little show. And boy did it impress. If I didn't know that magic was real, I would have been looking around for some hologram generator. Only problem was how nervous she acted around the green haired human, but he had explained that he was a ghost story about the dangers of power in other lands.

What was a real show stopper was when, right after the show, a dark carriage flew across the sky, pulled by two bat-winged ponies. I shook out the bizarreness of seeing grown men harnessed like that, chalking it up to culture shock.

The doors opened, and out floated a cloaked figure with what seemed like glowing eyes. No body was moving, looking in awe of the figure. When she touched down, a blue furred hand pulled the hood back revealing blue alicorn. Princess Luna, I believe. A majority of the crowd keeled, myself included. After all, isn't that the sort of thing you do with royalty? 

“Moony,” Zoro said, clapping. “Nice show.” The blue woman stared at him with a slight glare before turning her attention to the rest of the crowd.

“Citizens of Ponyville! We have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real Princess of the Night! A creature of nightmares no longer, but instead a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!” In the distance, lightning went off, giving the end of the speech a-

“Did you hear that, everypony? Nightmare Moon says she's gonna feast on us all!” Pinkie then made a stampede. Huh, had to hand it to her, she knew how to rile up a crowd.

“What? No, children, no! You no longer have reason to fear me! Screams of delight is what your princess desires, not screams of terror!” Her words didn't do anything besides make them more riled up. It was at this point that Zoro walked up to her.

“Hey, you do know what this holiday is about, yeah,” he asked quietly.

“Of course I do,” she snorted, almost insulted. “‘Tis a holiday dedicated to the monster I was! But now that the Nightmare is no more, there is no reason to celebrate.”

“Yeeeaaahh, that's not how it works. Started off like that, not it's degraded to kids dressing up and getting candy from strangers. Pretty fun. And besides, you can't get rid of a holiday like that,” he accentuated with a snap. “Go talk to Egghead, she can help with mingling.”

“And why can you not?” 

“Because those kids dropped candy and I have a crazy sweet tooth.” With that he walked off, occasionally bending down to pick up something.

I… had no words. Luckily, young Twilight took it upon herself (partially out of peer pressure) to take the princess and help her enjoy the holiday!

===ooo000ooo===

She did not enjoy the holiday.

After many failures on their parts to have the residents ‘not run away or cower in fear, Princess Luna finally snapped.

“Since you choose to fear your princess rather than love her, and dishonor her with this insulting celebration, we decree that Nightmare Night shall be canceled! Forever!” Once again, thunder went off in the background, which is weird in and of itself, as it wasn’t scheduled to storm today.

When the blue princess had left, a majority of the population went into a slump, someone moaning about having wanted to be a zombie next year.

By now, some of our little group, whom I’ve learned is somehow able to pull miracles out of our asses, have met up.

“An’ why can’t ya do it? Ya’ve known her the longest?”

“Yeah, I have, and our meet ups usually ended up with me kicking her flank six ways to Kingdom Come! I am literally the worst person for the job.”

“Maybe I could go and do it,” the purple unicorn suggested.

“Twilight, no offence, but your advice led us to this situation,” Sanji said, lighting a cigarette. A part of me wondered where he keeps them all.

“Well we have to do something,” Spike stated. “This happens to be my favorite holiday!” For just a second, I almost scolded him for thinking that this was all about the holiday, and not the princess. But that one second sparked something else. She felt ashamed at the Nightmare Night, because it was a very forceful reminder of when she had been a monster, and was now trying to move past that part of her life.

“I believe I should be the one to go to her,” I finally spoke up, getting everyone’s attention. “After all, if she feels like a monster, who better to talk to than the living skeleton, no? Yohohoho!” There as a slight somber tone in my voice towards the end there, but it got the reaction I was hoping for, with the majority agreeing with me. 

As I turned towards where Princess Luna had absconded, I felt a tug on my shoulders. It was my daughter, a worried expression written on her face.

“Daddy, are you okay?” 

“Of course I am, darling. Why wouldn’t I be?” She stood there a moment, trying to read my non, existent expression, before pulling me into a hug. 

“You know I love you, right?” My non-existent smile softened, embarrassing her tightly.

“Always. And I love you too.” I had to let her go eventually, but I love it when we do this. It helps me feel… grounded, myself. Hmm, perhaps I’ll use that for our wayward Luna.

She waved me goodbye, and I waved back. 

As I walked towards the large statue of what I’m assuming to be Nightmare Moon, I’m allowing the words a chance to get together in my head before I release them through my mouth. A lot more people need to learn that certain skill. And the closer I got, and the better I could hear the sobbing, the clearer and more frequent the words came to me.

“Do you mind if I sit with you,” I ask, gaining her attention. Involuntarily, she flinched at the sight of me. 

“Nay, be my guest.” She absent-mindedly pulled back a rubberband on her wrist, wincing when it struck. I nodded and sat down, dusting the area off a bit as to not get my clothes too dirty. When I was sitting down, I did the next best thing in this scenario. 

I waited.

In situations like this, you should almost never force someone to open up to you. What is needed is time for them to get everything in their heads in order before they’ll even feel comfortable around you. Believe me, I was experienced in this lesson. 

It took a few minutes before she started.

“I just want them to love me, like they used to,” she said, eyes gazing off into the distance. “I want them to look at me like they do Sister; a figure to be loved, not feared. I am no longer that… abomination! Why can they not see it that way?”

I tapped my fingers on the stone next to me before saying my piece. “Would you like to hear a story?” She turned to me, questioning but nodded for me to continue.

“Once upon a time, there was a man. He was a person who loved music so much and was so talented at it  that he had decided to make a career out of it. One day, he met a wonderful woman at one of his concerts, and they eventually married and had a child. While he loved his family as much as anyone else, he always put his career first. WHile it as a birthday, the man was in Vegas. During his anniversary, he was in Miami. When his daughter took her first steps, he was in New York.

“One day, during a particularly lively tour concert, he got a call. He didn’t recognize the number, so he just put it on the backburner. After two days of partying, he finally called them back.” I had to take a deep breath on this one, and my voice was starting to get shaky. “It turned out that it was from a hospital. He was told that, three days ago, his wife had passed away in the ER, a victim of a drunk driving accident. The man was… shocked, to say the least. He didn’t want to believe it, but it was true.

“He rushed down as fast as he could, just to get one last look at her. Needless to say, he went into a depression. He only escaped when, all too late, he realized that there was another who was mourning just as badly as he was. His seven year old daughter, who had grown without him for most of her life, resented the man. And, not wanting to lose the only family he had left, he tried to reconcile with her.

“He did everything he could to make up for all of his mistakes and more. He cancelled entire tours and planed shows just to be on time for some silly thing that she loved. He turned down big career opportunities just to be there for her when she had the cold. He made sure that she was as happy as possible under his care without trying to force himself onto her as much as he could. It took years until she could proudly call him her father.”  I finished up my story, wiping away some tears that were spilling from my eye sockets. Luna herself had been paying close attention, and had her hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. I nodded in appreciation. With that, I stood up and faced her. 

“What I’m trying to say is that, no matter who you are, when you’ve hurt the ones you’ve loved, you need to show them that you can be better than what you were, that you can change into a better person than who you were. Do you understand,” I asked, holding my hand out for her to accept. She looked at it for a little bit before rubbing her own tears away, accepting the help up.

“I… thank you, Sir Brook. And, if it helps, I'm sorry for your loss.”

I closed my eyes (well, not really because I'm a skeleton), and nodded. “Thank you, your Highness.” When she was up, I pulled out my violin. Where was it on my person? You’ll never know.

“Now, this may seem strange, given what I just talked about, but I often find music to be a very good starting point for these sorts of things. And while it doesn’t exactly fit this particular scenario, it’s one of my daughter’s favorites. If you would kindly do a little magic pazzaz, that would be wonderful.”

“Of course, I would love too.” I watched as her body dissolved into a fog that resembled that of a starry sky. Don’t question it, it would go right over your head.


I raised the chinrest up to my, well, chin. And then I began to play. 

“Fear not this night
You will not go astray
Though shadows fall
Still the stars find their way.”

I walked into the town, the princess swirling around me in tandem with the rhythm of the song.

“Awaken from a quiet sleep
Hear the whispering of the wind
Awaken as the silence grows
In the solitude of the night!”

“Darkness spreads through all the land
And your weary eyes open silently
Sunsets have forsaken all
The most far off horizons!”

A few denizens look in our direction, curious.

“Nightmares come when shadows grow
Eyes close and heartbeats slow.”

“Fear not this night
You will not go astray
Though shadows fall
Still the stars find their way!”

“And you can always be strong
Lift your voice with the first light of dawn!”

“Dawn's just a heartbeat away
Hope's just a sunrise away.”

There are even a few children in the group, slowly swaying along.

“Distant sounds of melodies
Darting through the night to your heart
Auroras, mists, and echoes dance
In the solitude of our life.”

“Pleading, sighing arias
Gently grieving in captive misery
Darkness sings a forlorn song
Yet our hope can still rise up!”

“Nightmares come when shadows grow
Lift your voice, lift your hope!”

We were slowly making our way to the center of town.

“Fear not this night
You will not go astray
Though shadows fall
Still the stars find their way”

“And though the night sky's filled with blackness
Fear not, rise up, call out and take my hand!”

I accuented the last stanza by jumping onto the water fountain, spinning while the words I sang were dripping in passion.

“Fear not this night
You will not go astray
Though shadows fall
Still the stars find their way!”

“Fear not this night
You will not go astray
Though shadows fall
Still the stars find their way!”

“And you can always be strong
Lift your voice with the first light of dawn!”

“Dawn's just a heartbeat away
Hope's just a sunrise away~.”

The song ended with a massive round of applause, nearly the entire town stood before us while the princess reformed above me. 

“Let this be the greatest Nightmare Night in Equestria!”

The statement was met with a louder applause than before, gaining Luna a small smile. She glanced down to me, mouthing a thank you.

I simply nodded, a grin on my face and a new song for my instrument to play.