> Tales From Riversdale: Life Without Harmony > by Rare80 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter One > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A tall dark-brown earth pony sporting a white apron and a big afro slowly pulls a large carriage, heaving and sweating as the immense weight of it really works against him.  Hot summers in Mid-Equestria can be brutal.  The lone earth pony was wandering down an otherwise lifeless dirt road outside of Ponyville. The sun was beating down on him. He was panting loudly, but there was nopony around to hear him.  He was pulling a large wooden carriage behind him, as the strong smell of coffee beans follows him wherever he went.  He was about to collapse out of exhaustion, when he suddenly thought to himself, 'This seems like a good place to set up shop.'  It wasn't, but he needed to take a break from walking, if nothing else. Romero stopped his carriage on the shoulder of the road. To say that his trip was an exhausting one would be an understatement. He was a quite a long way from home, roughly five days of walking from the western Equestrian shore. Normally he doesn't haul this over-sized cart around. It's heavy, and is big enough that he can't even bring it with him on the train. He's done all his traveling thus far on hoof.  The good thing was he was close to Ponyville, and he could make some quick cash. Ponyville was never a cash-cow, but a bit earned here or a bit earned in Canterlot is still a bit. Every bit counts. He unhooks the harness from his tired shoulders.  Every muscle burns in agony.  Even worse, there is a deep pain in his stomach and it grumbles loudly.  Romero was so focused on getting to town as soon as possible that he’d completely forgotten to eat.  This mental lapse was costing him now.  A desperate look overcomes his face.  He places a hoof on his abdomen, he can’t stand it.  He deliberates eating some of the grass if he has too.  He tries to think of the last time he’d eaten something... anything.  It had to have been yesterday morning at the hotel in Canterlot.  He was close to 30 hours without eating.  He had to think fast. Then he looks up.  His mouth suddenly waters as he spots an apple tree.  He slowly trots to it.  He raises two hooves and plucks a juicy looking apple off the branches.  He can’t believe it.  He was never this lucky.  He promptly takes a bite.  He feels like crying as soon as the mix of sweet and tart hits his tongue.  If he didn’t know better, he’d say that this tree was producing the perfect apples.  He plucks off a few more.  The next apple looking better than the last.  They all looked so close to ripe too.  After he plucked that tree clean, he noticed another tree that was just as good, and another, and another, and another.  He’s hit the jackpot. “I can feed myself for days” he mutters to himself as he picks several trees completely clean.  He loads them up into a large tweed bag he had pulled out of his carriage.  He knew he was going to save a lot of money on not buying food, if he harvested as many apples as he could.  He slowly worked his way into the welcoming shade of his carriage, taking his food with him. There was barely enough room for his large 'fro in the small space due to all the bags of coffee beans he's been lugging around. Still, he was able to find a spot to place his new cargo, and he promptly sat down on his plot. He ate a few more apples until his stomach was finally satisfied.  The sudden influx of food overtook him as he quickly became tired.  The tried to stay up and maybe motivate himself to get to town, but before he knew it, he dozed off into a nap. A few hours later, Romero is awoken by a sudden, loud pounding at the carriage door.  He is still fatigued from his travels, but he forces himself up anyways.  His muscles fight him the whole time.  Maybe this was a customer.  When he opens the door; he was greeted by a young mare, her coat was a bright pastel orange and a light brown Stetson hat adorned her head.  Her bright green eyes stared back at the stallion with fury.  Romero’s eyes widen as he was taken aback by this mare aggressive stance.  Before he can utter a word, the mare speaks up, loudly. “So yer tha’ one who’s been pickin’ mah orchard clean?!”  Romero hesitates and struggles to come up with a polite response.  He didn’t want to escalate the situation, but he wanted to acknowledge what he did.  The brown stallion stammers and trips over his words.  Before he can string together a coherent statement, the angry mare cuts him off again.  “What a minute…”  She looks him up and down, her eyes slowly go all the way down to the tip his hooves and back up again.  “That wardrobe… that coat color… that ugly mane…”  Romero’s heart drops as the mare slowly puts it together.  “Yer Cavallian, ain’t ya?”  He puts he head down and breathes a heavy sigh. “Yeah.”  He reluctantly answered, he wasn’t going to lie to her.  Despite telling the truth, he knows his situation was only going to get worse now.  He closes his eyes, not wanting to look at the Equestrian mare that was now shaming him. “Yeah, yer Cavallian.  I can tell by that dull, ugly shade of brown yer wearin’.  Looks like somepony left you out in the sun all day an’ yer color all faded away.”  Romero knew that this was the norm for ponies like him.  Almost all the ponies he knew back home in Cavalla had the dull washed-out color schemes as opposed to the bright vivid pastel colors of Equestrian ponies.  “Not gon’ say anythin’ fer yerself, dull boy?”  He really didn’t like this mare's tone of voice especially when paired with her thick rural accent.  It was intimidating.  “WELL FINE, THEN!”  The mare suddenly slams the wooden door right on his face.  He’s so afraid to move now.  A still silence takes over the carriage now.  In the distance, he hears the hoofsteps of the mare galloping at a rampant pace off to the distance. Once the sounds of galloping fade off, Romero springs into action.  He opens the door and quickly jumps out of his carriage. He’s clearly in a panic, but he knows he’s going to be in big trouble if he doesn’t move quickly.  He’s already sweating again, by the time he straps on his shoulder harness.  His heart is pounding against his chest like it’s trying to escape.  Romero is trying to make an escape of his own and escape he did.  He follows the dirt road in front of him in the direction of Ponyville. “I need to get out of this mess.” > Chapter Two > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Romero did eventually make it to town at what looked like high noon.  He looks around town as he wasn’t too impressed by what he saw.  It just looked like an uninteresting town, with uninteresting architecture, and an uninteresting name, right smack-dab in the middle of Equestria.  The town square looked quite busy and that’s all he cared about.  The plan was now to set up shop, maybe make a few quick bits, and get out without causing any more trouble. In the bustling square, he rests his carriage and his shoulders.  He had picks a spot near the edge of the square where he was a little more out of the way and he could perhaps stick out a little more.  The potent smell of his treasure, his coffee beans, fills the air nearby.  He sets up his sign in the square advertising his brew in many different varieties from house blends to specialties.  He waits patiently in his carriage with the door open.  Soon a few curious customers begin inquiring him about his coffee, and even made a few sales.  He made some money, but not too much. After activity had died a bit, Romero was struck with a familiar voice in the air.  He hoped he had been hearing things, but he knew he wasn’t.  He heard a mare speaking in a thick country accent.  He couldn’t pin down which direction he’d heard it, but he knows he’s heard it.  He is completely paranoid now.  Sweat drips from his forehead.  He keeps his head on swivel, trying to locate that orange mare so he can hopefully avoid her. “Tharr he is!”  She’d spotted him.  After that, he’d spotted her.  Her right hoof was pointed right at him, an angry glare stared him down.  It was too late to run now.  ‘Uh-oh…’ he thought.  The mare stomps towards him quickly. It was at this moment that he noticed that there was a tall purple unicorn following her. Romero swallowed the lump in his throat as he knows that this wasn’t going to be good. “This rascal’s the one whose been stealing mah apples!  Ah dunno how he did it, but he picked six whole trees from the west orchard completely bare.  He’s a no-good thief!”  The orange mare darts up to him, quickly sticking her hoof right in his face.  She’s panting loudly completely out of fury.  The purple mare quickly grabs her attention, her voice is a lot softer.  Her calm tone is a welcome change. “Now AppleJack, let’s be reasonable here.” “Be reasonable?  Mah west orchard is to home tah all mah best honeycrisp apples!  That’s cider makin’ fruit!  Production on that side of the farm are as tight ‘nuff as it is!”  The crowd around the three of them begins to quietly murmur.  Romero has no idea what all this cider stuff really means, but it seems to have resonated with the crowd. “You mean there’s going to be less cider than usual this year?”  A voice from the crowd speaks up. “Ah'm ’fraid so, an’ it's all his fault!”  The unrest in the crowd begins to build, he can’t believe how fast the crowd he was making customers out of just a few minutes ago had turned on him so quickly. “AppleJack, calm down.”  The purple mare puts a hoof around her friend in an effort to comfort her and calm her down a bit.  “Surely there’s a much more civil way we can resolve this.” “T’aint no bein’ civil with his kind, Twlight!” “AppleJack!  Listen to yourself, you’re--! “ “No, Twilight!” The orange mare quickly interrupts her friend.  “You listen to me, he’s… Cavallian!”  The crowd collectively shudders and gasps.  Then they begin to quietly chatter among themselves. “Well, he does look kind of dull…”, one pony says. “I heard they make you eat meat over there.”, said another. “Well, I heard that in their country, conditions are so bad, that nopony lives to be over 50 years old.”, another pony spoke up.  Romero hangs in head.  He can feel the judgement raining down on him.  He’s embarrassed, and desperately wants to crawl into a hole somewhere. “Ca-Ca-Cal-vee-nee-on?”  The purple mare stammers and struggles to correctly pronounce the name of Romero’s home country. “Cavallian.”  The orange mare states correcting her friend.  “It’s a lan’ nice an’ far a' away from here where all the bad ponies are sent off to!” “What?  I’ve never heard of it.  You can’t just take ponies, no matter how bad they are, put them on a ship, and send them off somewhere.  That doesn’t make sense.” “It might not make sense t’you, Twilight, but it’s true.”  It doesn’t seem like the purple mare is buying it.  Skepticism paints her face thickly.  “Surely, tharr is somethin' you can do.  Maybe you can kick this troublemaker out of Ponyville!”, the orange mare continued.  Romero struggled to decipher what she meant by saying there was ‘something she can do’, and it was at this moment that Romero realized that the purple mare was not a unicorn, but an alicorn.  This thought sent a cold shiver down his back. As far as Romero knew, there was only three was only two princesses in Equestria: Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna.  You can debate whether or not Princess Cadence was a Equetrian princess but, this new mare looked oddly foreign to him.  Perhaps she wasn’t a Princess?  Romero wasn’t quite sure how this whole alicorn thing works anyway. She takes a step towards Romero, “Do you have a vendor’s permit?”  Romero then nods his head yes. The crowd around the three of them begins to dissipate.  He uses his mouth to go digging around in his apron, and after a few moments of scrounging, he finally comes up with it. “Here it is," his voice muffled as he presents the document pinned between his teeth. Romero’s statement is dull and flat, as if he knows where this was going already.  The alicorn uses her magic to take his document from him and she looks it over, taking her time and reading it thoroughly.  Her eyes scan it for any deficiencies, or signs of forgery.  Romero keeps his eyes pinned to the ground in front of him. “Nothing at all wrong with it.”, the mare finally proclaims.  “Everything looks good and up to date.” “Awh c’mon, Twilight.  There’s gotta be somethin’ you can do.”, the orange mare complains. “I’m sorry, AppleJack, but there really isn’t.  The best I can do is send him through small claims, then hold a trial in Canterlot.” “Canterlot?!” “Yes, he’s not an Equestrian citizen, therefore he needs to be held in an international court.  Only Princess Celestia can do that.”  The orange mare did not take the news to well.  She groans loudly and slams her hat on the ground beneath her. “Dagnabit!  Ah don’t have time fer this!”  The mare shakes her head, and nervously trots in a circle around the two of them. She makes several laps around them while completely deep in thought. After a long pause, she finally speaks up again. “If it means I can collect all the damages, then I’ll do it.”  She suddenly stops pacing and takes a few deep breaths in an effort to calm down. “I’ll help represent you if you need it.”  The alicorn wraps a friendly hoof around the orange mare’s shoulders, gently hugging her and rubbing her back.  “I'll help you get through this, alight?' A concerned look cakesher face as she comforts her friend. "I suppose that means I need to do some research on this Capela place.” “Please do all that ya can. I'll see ya ‘round, Twilight.”  The alicorn leaves soon thereafter, lying off to the north.  The orange mare picks up her hat and dusts it off.  After placing it on her head she peers at Romero out of the corner of her eye.  “Ah hope the Princess throws the book at you.” > Chapter Three > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Romero waits in a cold room, its walls made of stone.  He’s deep within Canterlot Castle now, waiting to see Celestia for his trial.  The holding room he’s in looks suspiciously like a jailcell.  He can’t help but think that he’d been placed here on purpose.  It had been several days since his confrontation in Ponyville.  He hadn’t made much extra money since then.  He sits on a wooden bench, a nervous sweat drips from his forehead drips and down his face. The door suddenly swings open, and the purple alicorn from the other day trots in.  She is now adorned with a good amount of regal jewelry, leaving no doubt to what position she holds. She avoids eye contact with Romero.  When she speaks to him her tone is now deeper, sharper, and a lot more harsh now.  She now has the stereotypical cold disposition Romero expected to see from Equestrian Princesses. “Have you collected your stuff?” she asks. “Uh, y-yeah,” Romero stammers a bit, as he continues to dread his upcoming trial.  He takes a deep breath in order to catch a grip and calm down.  He builds up the remainder strength he has left to get up off the bench, and slowly drags his hooves on the way to the door. “Good.  I’ll personally escort you to the courtroom.”  The purple mare holds the door open as he leaves.  He then stays absolutely quiet as they walk along a maze of hallways up to the courtroom. Romero stays attached to the alicorn at the hip, making sure he doesn't get lost in the large castle.  All the guards in the castle stared at him suspiciously.  The alicorn that had defended him a few days ago has completely changed her attitude, she continues to actively avoid eye contact with him.  Romero tries not to overthink everything and stress himself out, something he’s prone to doing.  When he and the alicorn got to the courtroom the castle guards open the double doors and Romero walks in to take his respective seat.  He looks around and notices that he has quite the audience this morning.  He has no idea whether it was normally like this, or if giant angry mobs appear every time a Cavallian is dragged to court. Soon enough, Princess Celestia clipts gracefully in to the courtroom, the court rises and bows in reverence to the ruling Princess.  Romero looks around frantically, and notices that the only one not bowing, was him.  Was he supposed to bow as well?  She’s not his Princess, so that doesn’t make sense.  The least he could do was stand out of respect.  He should probably do something.  Crap, now she’s already seated.  Did he just mess this whole thing up literally seconds into the trial?  Now he’s panicking.  Anxiety overcomes him.  He’s sweating bullets.  He reaches into his apron and pulls out a napkin.  He then gently dabs his forehead. “This is Case 701, Apple v. Hazelnut.  Court is now in session.”  Princess Celesta looks and sounds a little less regal than he expected.  Honestly, it looked like she’d been up all night.  Her eyes are narrowed, and her mane looks a tad disheveled. “The court will now recognize the presence of the honorable Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, representing the plaintiff.  I’ll take it that you’ve sworn in all the parties involved in the in the witness and testimony on the plaintiff’s side? “You are correct, your majesty,” Twilight Sparkle answers back. “Splendid.  The court recognizes all parties involved with the plaintiff.   AppleJack, accuser, Princess Twilight Sparkle, representative, and Rainbow Dash, witness.”  Celestia takes a moment to shuffle through some of the paperwork she had sprawled upon her bench.  “We’ll swear in the defendant, and then we will be seated.”  Celestia rotates her seat towards Romero, and she places her left hoof on her chest and raises her right hoof to about eye level, expecting Romero to mimic her.  “Mr. Hazelnut, please stand and repeat after me:  I, Romero Elias Hazelnut, do solemnly swear that the testimony I will give in the case now pending before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, under pains and penalties of perjury.” Romero does indeed follow Celestias lead, standing, and placing his left hoof on his chest and raises his right.  “I, Romero Elias Hazelnut, do solemnly swear that the testimony I will give in the case now pending before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, under pains and penalties of perjury.” “Great, everyone can now be seated.”  Celestia’s tone is calm and pleasant, Romero is still a little hopeful to get out of this ordeal relatively unscathed. The courtroom shuffles as the ponies around them are seated.  “First, we will begin with the plaintiff’s party, and then we will get to the defendant.  Twilight, when you’re ready, feel free to begin.” Twilight skims though an old-looking textbook of sorts, skimming through it and whispering details with the other two.  Then she finally spoke up, “After a few days of relentless research, I have become very acquainted with the defendant’s homeland.  First the basics, Cavalla located on a small continent close to 850,000 square miles, or 2,166,000 square kilometers.  Cavalla is ruled by a democratically elected official called a ‘President’.  Cavalla is split up into twelve political, and regional areas called ‘districts’.  Among its major exports include iron, steel, petroleum, along with plastics, paints, and other polymers; leading it to have a heavily industrial economy.  It has a population of about 280,500,000, making it the most densely populated country in the world.  This high population density is a major reason for its low safety regulations, high unemployment rate, high poverty rate, and high crime rate.  The Cavallian Ecomonic Bureau reports that the GDP of Cavalla increased of an annual rate of about 1.8% for that last—” Princess Celestia then loudly clears her throat in order to catch Twilight’s attention and she quickly stops her speech.  “Dearest Twilight,…”  The princess interjected, “This is a court case not a book report.  Please spare myself and the audience of this geography lesson and just begin with the events that unfolded last Friday morning.”  The Princess looks very annoyed, as she has her head in her hooves, and her face is painted thickly with a look of dismay.  “Please remember that my time is precious.”  Twilight then slowly nods her head, and she begins shuffling through some of her paperwork. “The events according to the plaintiff are as follows.”  Twilight swallowed the lump in her throat as she continued.”  The defendant, Mr. Hazelnut trespassed on the western end of the Apple Family’s farm at about 10:30am, then the defendant stole crop, honeysuckle apples, amounting to about 320 bits worth of cider sales.  After committing the crime, and being confronted, he fled the scene.” “Perfect.  Thank you, Twilight Sparkle."  Celestia nods at her fellow princess, and offers a warm smile.  This puts Romero on edge knowing that the two of them seem very close.  He knows that the chips are already stacked against him, but he doesn’t know to what degree.  “I assume that these claims are supported by the witness testimony of Ms. Rainbow Dash, correct?” “No, your Majesty.”  Twilight answered.  “Ms. Dash appears as a witness to confirm the amount of product lost, and the amount of revenue they would’ve generated through cider sales.” “There is no need for that, I know from personal experience that the Apple family’s cider sells really well, thank you.”  The court chuckles at the Princess’ statement. The princess leans back in her chair behind the bench.  She directs her attention towards Romero.  “Mr. Hazelnut, you don’t deny these claims, do you?” Romero offers a flat, “No, ma’am.” “That’s ‘your Majesty’,"  Celestia snaps. "In this court you will refer to me as ‘your Majesty’, understand?” “Yes, your Majesty.” Celestia takes a deep breath and continues.  “If this were a normal civil case, it would be an easy one.  However, due to the international implications of this, it must be handled with extreme delicacy.  This large crowd present today is very unusual for a case of this type.  I attribute this to the fact that there are two princesses present for this case instead of just myself.  Therefore, I feel compelled to say that this is my sixth international court case this week.  This is very tiring and taxing on my body and mind.  Given the muddy and complicated history between these two countries, no case like this is easy.”  The over-stressed princess takes a moment to rub her temples in order to ease an oncoming headache before continuing.  “Anyway, we will continue with the issue in front of us.” Celestia takes a moment, using her magic to shuffle through several documents resting in front of her.  She continues, “So, Equestrian authorities say in their statement that a large sack of apples as found in the defendant’s carriage.  The stolen cargo was returned to the plaintiff.” “Permission ta speak, yer majesty?”  AppleJack blurted waving her right hoof in the air for attention. “Granted.” “The whole reason I’m perusin’ this here issue is because the apples that were stolen were cider makin' apples, and the stolen apples won’t keep ripe in time for cider season.  Ah’m requestin’ a statement fer the difference of the amount of money lost on cider sales, not the value of the apples themselves.” Celestia exhales and leans back into her chair again.  “I understand this, AppleJack.  There is no doubt that Mr. Hazelnut did irremedial damage to your farm, and the defendant does not deny that.  You must also understand that according to his migrant documents, that after close to a dozen trips to Equestria this is first criminal act on his part, of any kind.  Perhaps something a little lighter than the usual lifetime denial of visa should be considered here." Celestia then turns her chair towards Romero and continues.  "Since you’ve made a habit of coming to Equestria often and has behaved himself for the most part.  I assume, Mr. Hazelnut that you’ve made these long frequent trips to Equestria so you can better provide for your family.” Romero shakes his head, “No, ma’am… uh, I mean, your Majesty.  I live alone.” “Are you employed?” “Yes, I am.  It’s just that my rate of pay and my job sometimes isn’t enough to cover rent and my other living expenses.  So, I come to Equestria to sell my coffee every now and again.  Because of the exchange rate, If I sell my coffee at the same rate that I do back home, I’ll pretty much doubling my money every time I come down here.   But to be honest, If all things were equal, given the choice, I would rather just stay home.” The court gasps and the audience begins to whisper and mutter among themselves.  Romero was confused, not knowing why his statements caused such an uproar.  Celestia uses her magic to bang her gavel.  “Order in the courtroom, please!”  Then, she waits a moment for everyone to calm down.  “So, you’re honestly telling the court, that if you could, you would live out your whole live in a land without Harmony?” Romero shrugs, “Yeah, I guess.  I really don’t see much of a difference.” The courtroom bursts out and an overflow of negative emotion pours down on the head of the young stallion.  He was afraid this would happen.  “ORDER!  ORDER!”  Celestia bangs her gavel again, this time with a lot more force and purpose.  “I will not have discourse overtake my courtroom!  Either behave yourselves, or see yourself out immediately.  This is a civil legal proceeding, not a circus!” An obviously irked Princess Celestia snorts angrily as it seems that the entire courtroom was taken aback by her sudden outburst of anger.  Romero is not surprised, this was how she expected her to act all along.  According to some of his friends back home, this was exactly how Equestrians truly behave, and it was now manifested in the Princess herself.  Romero wonders if something worse than permanent banishment awaits him now.  Maybe jail time.  Maybe an execution, he has no idea. Celestia lowers her head, looking defeated.  She mutters to herself, “Have we all fallen so far, that this is where it comes to?  Ponies turning into monsters, over apples?”  Hardly anyone in the courtroom was close enough to the bench to hear her clearly.  Romero heard her, but had no idea what she meant by that.  “Mr. Hazelnut, your testimony is a confusing one.  I’m awarding the total of 320 bits to be paid to the plaintiff in within 180 days of this ruling. Furthermore, that the defendant’s travel visa to Equestria will be revoked for the next five years, effective immediately.”  A small celebration takes place of the plaintiff’s side.  They softly congratulate each other. AppleJack hugs Twilight, and slaps hooves with Rainbow Dash. “However…” Celestia continues.  “It’s has been becoming more and more clear to me this age-old rhetoric between our two nations is not only unhealthy, but may be acting as a self-destructive wedge to completely tear all of pony kind apart.  Since the beginning, it has been the sole mission of this nation to spread love and Harmony to all nations, big and small.” “Unfortunately, even as your ruling Princess, I know precious little about this nation of Cavalla.  However, despite our rocky relationship the Equestrian economy relies heavily on Cavallian-made goods.  They are a powerful trading partner, and we cannot afford to lose them as an ally.  Despite this, most ponies that reside in Equestria must trace their family linage all the way back to before the first Heart’s Warming Eve to find an ancestor with Cavallian origins.  Since then, vile rumors have been swirling around to the point where even I know not what to believe.  Therefore, to find out more about our strange neighbor to our west I am sending Princess Twilight, AppleJack, Rainbow Dash, along with Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Fluttershy along with Mr. Hazelnut on the first ship headed west--.” “Wait a minute!”  AppleJack blurted out, completely interrupting the Princess’ judgement.  "He’s the criminal here, an’ yer gonna go 'round punishin’ us?” “AppleJack, this is not a punishment.  This is a mission on the behalf of Equestria, and on the behalf of Friendship; into the land of Cavalla.  You will be assigned there for the next 60 days.  You will report your findings to me on the Elements of Harmony, and if any trace of them reside there.  You will observe their behavior, their culture, and their livelihoods.  It’s time we've torn down these old prejudices once and for all.” “THAT’S NOT FAIR!”  Rainbow Dash interjects.  Her wings unfurl and she flaps up, hovering a few feet above the courtroom. Her voice breaks from the raw anger in her tone. “You’re sending us away when we did nothing wrong. Why are you treating us like them?” “It may not seem fair to you, Rainbow Dash, but my ruling is final.”  Princess Celestia is obviously done arguing about this.  She drops her gavel with a loud *BANG* as she gets up out of her seat, and begins to leave the courtroom.  AppleJack and Rainbow Dash continue to plead with the Princess as she walks out the door.  She ignores them completely.  Her message was already clear.  She's had enough. Meanwhile, Romero stands there motionless, doing his usual staring at the floor.  He wonders to himself just what the heck he’s gotten himself into. > Chapter Four > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It had been a little more than two days since Romero and the others got on the next boat leaving from a port from Vanhoover going west, a cargo ship.  The other six were able to rent a small room in the deck, whereas, due to his lack of money, Romero was forced to tie his carriage down near the bow of the ship and he slept inside.  The slight sliding back and forth as the rope struggles to hold his carriage in place keeps him up all night.  He hasn’t got much sleep since he’s left Equestria.  The trip is nearly over now, and he's trying to take a quick nap in a desperate attempt to catch up on his sleep.  Suddenly, and out of the blue, he receives a soft knock on the door.  It doesn’t sound like the shipyard employees coming to bother him again.  He slowly gets up and answers the door.  It creaks open and reveals a bright pink earth pony, her mane and tail are in a curly, unaltered perm. “Hiya!”  Her voice is high-pitched and usually cheerful.  She greets him with a big cheeky grin, and suddenly pokes her head in through the door.  “Ooooooh!  It smells good in here.”  Her eyes widen has she takes in the aroma of all of the coffee.  “Can I try some?  Huh?  Can I, can I, can I?”  She begins bouncing in place, smiling big as she eagerly awaits a favorable answer. “Something’s telling me that’s not a good idea…” “Puh-leeeaaaaaase?”  Her face scrunges up and she sticks out her lower lip, making a pouty face.  Romero is hesitant, but he’s never one to turn down a customer.  He sighs and lets her inside the carriage after he steps out.  It’s not big enough to fit the two of them, or at least it isn’t with all of the coffee he’s stored up.  The pink mare trots into the carriage and eyes each of the bags of coffee, all of them stacked tightly together up to the ceiling.  She plucks a small bag of coffee beans from a shelf near the back.  “This one!” She gives the bag to Romero, implying that she wants him to prepare it.  He looks at the bag, biting his lip for a moment.  “Mid-Morning Rush?  This one has quite the kick to it.  Uh,… I have a decaf version of the same blend, if you want to play it safe.” She shrugs.  “I guess I’ll try that.  I mean, I dunno anything about coffee.  I’m a hot chocolate girl myself.”  The pink mare steps back out of the carriage as she does so.  Even though this pony seemed overly excitable, Romero enjoyed her warm demeanor and pleasant tone.  Plus, having some company on this trip was better than trying to sleep it away.  “I don’t believe I caught your name.  I’m Pinkie Pie, what’s yours?” “Hmm?” Romero is only halfway paying attention to the mare as he squeezes past her into the carriage.  He selects a bag of coffee and pours them into a mortar so he can begin grinding up the beans with a pestle.  Their fragrance gets stronger as the grinding ensues.  “Oh, I’m Romero.”  He focuses solely on grinding his coffee as he speaks, not bothering to look away. “Do all of the ponies in your country have weird names?”  Romero was a little irked by the question, but he took in a deep breath.  He was going to bet that this pony was simply asking an honest question, and not trying to be rude. “Well, I think ‘weird’ is all subjective.  If you ask me, I think Equestrian names like Sunlight Swirl are the weird ones.”  Pinkie Pie shrugs and continues to wait patiently for her coffee.  Romero reaches into a shelf and pulls out a plastic, battery-operated heating plate and places it on the countertop in front of him, and turns it on.  He then trots out of the carriage and informs his visitor that he is going off to collect some water and that he will return shortly. After a few moments, Pinkie curiously paces into the carriage.  The heating plate is the first thing that catches her attention.  She’d never seen such an odd contraption like this before, so she unknowingly places a hoof on top of it.  It quickly scalds her; causing her to let out a loud, short, high-pitched yelp.  She quickly shakes her seared hoof in attempt to cool the agony.  Despite that short, painful experience, she still interested in snooping around in Romero’s carriage.  However, other than the coffee, there wasn’t much to see.  After a few minutes of looking, she does eventually spot a piece of laminated paper that was folded neatly and stuffed all the way near the back on a high shelf.  Intrigued, she reaches her hoof in and retrieves it.  Upon leaving the carriage, she sees it in better lighting and she can clearly tell that it is a map.  She scans the document of any kind of sign of what place the map is supposed to be displaying.  She looks for landmarks and doesn’t recognize any.  This wasn’t like any map she’s ever seen. It was dull and flat, all the land was one solid color: white, the water was all one pale shade of blue, and all of the text was written in black with a boring serif font.  It lacked any sort of illustrations or coloring.  Even still, nothing she read sounded remotely familiar, this clearly wasn’t Equestria.  She located a map key on the bottom right corner.  It’s a map of Cavalla. Romero trots back up to the carriage carrying a large jug of water in his teeth. Pinkie politely moves out of the way, and he rushes past her, spilling trace amounts of water along his way. He sets the glass jug on the hot plate, and waits for it to boil. He rejoins Pinkie outside, and he curiously looks over her shoulder. She suddenly turns around and she immediately spins around and stuffs the map right in his muzzle. “Is this a map of your country? It’s pretty neat, not even Twilight could find a map of this place. Can ya show me where you live? Can ya?” Romero back away a couple of steps. He kind of wishes the pink mare would’ve just simply asked before going through his things, but he’s much too afraid of scolding her in fear of scaring her off. He grabs the map from her and takes a good look at it. “I’m from Riversdale, which is almost right in the middle,” he explains. “If you’re coming from east like you’re coming from Equestria, then you’ll pass through these straights near Kingsford, and you'll enter the Northern River and continue westward until you get to The Great Lake.” His hoof traces the ship's eventual path, tilting the map towards Pinkie so she can clearly see. She pays close attention. “On the southwest corner of The Great Lake, is the mouth of the Gary River. That river will eventually lead us all the way to Riversdale.” “If the blue lines are rivers, then what are these black dotted lines for?” she asks. “Oh, those show the borders between our districts. Y’see, Cavalla is divided up into ten districts—” “Twilight said there are twelve,” Pinkie interjects. “Then her information must be outdated, because there are only ten now. The other two recently declared their independence.” “Huh, weird…” Pinkie slowly takes the map away from Romero, and she closely studies it. Romero then turns around to check on his boiling water. Once he sees that the water is hot enough, he empties his ground coffee beans from his mortar into a fine metal strainer. He then strains the boiling water from the jar, through the coffee, and into a plastic bucket. He then strains the water in reverse going from the bucket, through the strainer and back into the jar. He repeats this process a few more times until the coffee colors the water a dark brown. As he does, steam rises from the carriage and bellows out of the open door. “Ohmygosh, that smells so delicious!” Pinkie pokes her head into the carriage, taking whiff of the aromatic smell. Romero comes out of the carriage holding two mugs filled with coffee, and offering a cup to his companion. Pinkie kindly takes it from him, and begins to sip cautiously from it. She was surprised by the taste of it. It was a blend of sweet and bitter, but not too bitter. Even though she knew it was decaf, the bitterness implied that it was supposed to be an espresso. It was a very thin coffee, about the same consistency as the water itself. It had a hint of caramel in its flavor. Pinkie looks up from her cup and offers a thankful smile to the stallion, and he eventually returns it. Suddenly, a loud clap of thunder rang from above, the skies had turned a dark gray. Menacing clouds hovered above them. They quickly whisp and churn, heavy with the rain they plan on dumping onto the surface below. Pinkie takes a quick look upwards and gasps. “Looks like I’ve got to go. D’ya mind if I took this map, and showed it to Twilight?” “Yeah, I guess. Just please remember to bring it back.” Romero’s voice is quiet, flat, and almost lacking purpose. The smile he once had was now wiped off his face. “Thanks for the coffee!” Pinkie smiled. She then suddenly turns around and quickly trots in the other direction, towards her room. Something deep within Romero’s soul begins to tug at his insides. He wanted to tell Pinkie about how she should go back to the others and tell them about how not all Cavallians are bad, and how kind polite and kind he was. He wanted to tell them how he was sorry for dragging them all out here. He wanted to say even though his home may not have Harmony, that maybe if they looked at it with an open mind, they might even learn to enjoy themselves there. He wanted to beg and plead with her to give him a chance, but he struggled to find the right words. He stuttered and stammered quietly to himself, and before he knew it, Pinkie was long gone. Romero breathed in a heavy sigh before taking a sip from his coffee. He slowly paces back up to his carriage and ducks inside, locking the door shut behind him. > Chapter Five > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The ship had now finally reached the docks at Romero's hometown of Riversdale. The tightly compacted skyscrapers, made of brick, stone, and steel, welcomed him home; and gave his city the look of prominence. The tall structures clearly mark downtown. The whole city was a densely populated urban area, and the city definitely looked that way from afar. It was almost nighttime. You couldn’t really tell however, the sun is tucked away behind thick dense clouds. When Romero poked his head out of his carriage, he’s greeted by a menacing looking thunderstorm.  The rain poured from up above like water from a faucet.  His fluffy afro squishes and flattens on his head as the rain beats down on it.  He breathes a heavy sigh and begins strapping his carriage to his shoulders.  By the time he reaches the port, he’s in the tail end of a long line at the customs office.  He waits outside as he long-suffers the time it takes to get back into his home country.  The Riversdale Port Authority were sometimes way too thorough for their own good.  He pokes his head around the corner to see a white unicorn mare with loads upon loads of luggage holding up the line. “What am I to trust you ponies with such sensitive information as my birth certificate?  Do you not realize that this document contains my Equestrian Citizenship number?”  She scoffs, “The nerve of you ponies!”  There was a small team of customs officers surrounding the mare as she was questioned.  Sure, the bedside manner of these officers leaves much to be desired, but they had a tough job, and dealing with uptight Equestrians was never easy.  One lonely customs officer was left checking her baggage as the rest try (aggressively) to calm her down.  “This is an outrage!" she continues.  "I wish to speak to your manager, or dean, or whoever it is that's in charge of this operation!” “Found it!” the lone officer checking her baggage pulls out an old, worn and stained document held thinly together with scotch tape, waving it victoriously above his head.  He then hoofs it over to another officer and he quickly scans over it. “Miss Rarity…” he says as he reads the document out loud, “Female, 23 years of age, never married, natural born Equestrian national citizen, looks like it’s her first time out of the country.”  He nonchalantly stamps her passport and tosses it along with her birth certificate; back to her, or back at her, depending on how you look at it.  After picking it up off the floor, she struggles to contain her anger. “What a vile cesspool of loutish, bureaucratic disregard this is. Such an atrocity!”  The unicorn then punctuated her statement with a loud ‘harrumph’ and moves on.  To be fair to the unicorn; ‘loutish, bureaucratic disregard’ could be a harsh, but accurate way to describe this country, that is if you want to be pessimistic about it.  Rarity, after collecting her massive amounts of luggage with her magic, stomps off amid the puddles of rain water on the ground to rejoin her oddball group of Equestrian... shall we call them... “tourists”.  Unsurprisingly, the line into the customs office begins to move a whole lot quicker now that they were out of the way. “Equestrians, am I right?” the stallion gives Romero a playful nudge, as he delivers his comment.  Usually Romero is not the fellow to judge.  He’s met a few good Equestrians that have treated him more or less fairly during his travels.  The pink mare from this morning, What’s-Her-Name, seemed nice enough.  However, he couldn’t help but think as he looked at them, just how bad they looked.  They wrinkled their noses, and looked at the beloved city he calls home through squinted eyes.  If they were going to prejudge, then he was going to as well.  It was only fair. “Wait, Romero.  You’re better than that,” he muttered that statement to himself accidentally, and he looked around hoping that no one had heard him.  His sudden insecurities, woke him out of his hateful thoughts like ice water to the face.  The pony in line in front of him that had nudged him earlier, was now staring at Romero with a confused eyebrow raised.  “Uh… what I said was, it must be their first time out… of the country, I mean.”  A pretty natural statement by him.  It probably would’ve sounded better if he hadn’t stumbled all over it. “Yeah, clearly” the stallion answered flatly.  After that, that stallion was already next in line.  Romero moves up in line as the other stallion gets his baggage checked.  He waits and watches him as he turns over his paperwork and trots through the metal detector.  His luggage is quickly checked, and in no time, Romero is already being waved on through.  The stallion ahead of him in line goes directly up to the six Equestrian mares as soon as he’s done.  He begins talking at them in a loud, obnoxious tone.  “Look at who’s mackin’ out like they own the place!  Six slick foxes down by the boatin' docks!  Sunshine, sunshine!” He continues the ‘sunshine’ chant for a few moments, and Romero starts to get a tad uncomfortable.  The Equestrians had no idea what was going on, and that was probably for the best.  Even though some of those girls had wronged him before, Romero couldn’t help but feel some contact shame as the stallion harassed them.  He hoofs over his paperwork as he continues to watch from afar. He wasn’t sure if this other stallion even noticed one of the girls was an alicorn, but it might not have mattered anyway.  When the stallion finally had his fill, he trots off leaving the girls utterly bewildered.  Romero steps through the metal detector, and retrieves his luggage.  He had other things to worry about now, and the girls weren't his problem.  He had a carriage to sell off to the pawn shop, with the five-year banishment Celestia had given him, he won’t be needing it any time soon. If you’re looking for a good deal at the pawn shop, then you’re looking in all the wrong places.  Romero walks out of there with 40 bucks, and he’s lucky to get that much.  Downhearted, he leaves the shop with three big plastic trash bags filled to the brim with his coffee beans.  The rain had now died down to nothing more than a light drizzle. When he turns the corner, he’s shocked to see the six mares from Equestria standing around on the sidewalk seemingly waiting for him.  He looks up from his money, drops it into his apron, and stares them down.  He’s completely confused.  The shy stallion chooses to say nothing.  He takes his coffee with him, one bag now in his mouth, the other two tied onto his back.  He goes halfway down the city block, and he notices that the mares are following him, he stops and turns around. “Uh, can I help you?” he asks a tad annoyed after spitting this bag of coffee down onto the pavement. “Ah dunno, can ya?”  AppleJack responds sarcastically, keeping a deadpan face as she does so.  Romero responds by sucking his teeth and throwing up his hooves in protest. “Hey, I’m just trying to go home.  You mares ruined my side job by dragging me to court over some dumb apples. Haven’t you done enough damage to my life?” “We were told to follow you,” Twilight states bluntly as she steps forward.  “Celestia’s orders.”  She presents Romero with a document with the Official Equestrian Royal Insignia stamped on the bottom along with the Princess' signature.  Romero quickly scans the document reading some of the important parts.  He mutters to himself as he reads. “So, pretty much Celestia ordered me to babysit you all for the next two months, is that it?  You're not foals. You’re all grown ladies that can take care of yourselves. Why can’t you just rent a couple of hotel rooms and leave me out of this?”  The soft spoken Romero is beginning to raise his voice, less out of anger and more out of frustration.  His usually calm and melodic voice was how loud and powerful enough to echo throughout the streets and alleyways that were still damp from the storm. “How am I supposed to make room for seven of us in my tiny, one bedroom apartment?  Where you gonna sleep?  What about rent?  What about bills?  What about groceries?  Did you ever think of that, huh?” “CELESTIA’S.  ORDERS.”  Twilight's harsh voice pierces through Romero's anger like a bullet. Twilight floats the document right up to Romero’s face to where it begins to brush up against his muzzle.  He sees no way in which he’s going to win this fight.  A few hateful things flood his mind. A string of four letter words repeated themselves over and over again in his head. However, he manages to bite his tongue.  He simply keeps his mouth shut, turns right back around, and breathes out a heavy sigh. ‘Well, the least one of you could do, is help me with all of this coffee,” Romero snapped. “I’m not helping you with anything!”  Romero stops after hearing a raspy voice answer him from behind.  It was the blue mare, the pegasus, she suddenly swoops down in front of him and hovers above the sidewalk at near eye level.  She stares him down. She's clearly livid, and she glares at him with a rather intimidating look on her face. Romero spits out his bag again. “Hey, I recognize you." He points a hoof towards her.  "You’re one of the mares from the trial, aren’t you?  What’s your name?  Rainbow Spring, or something-or-other?" “Rainbow Dash,” she corrects him.  “I’m not busting my tail for you.  You’re the criminal here.”  Romero certainly wasn’t liking her tone.  There were a few quiet minutes that went by, filled with the soft, ambient noises of the busting city, as he glared dismissively at her. She was talking down to him in a manner that seemed worse than AppleJack’s. At least AppleJack had a reason to be mad. He didn’t know what this pegasi’s problem was, he’d done nothing to her. “Fine.”  Romero’s voice now seemingly lacks purpose.  He was tired of all of this arguing.  He just wants to go home now before the rain starts to pick up again, Equestrians or no Equestrians.  All of this fussing and fighting was only going to make him cold and wet if it continued.  He picks up his bag of coffee with his mouth. He slowly and nonchalantly walks around her, with the bags of coffee on his back weighing him down.  He keeps head down, trotting off in the general direction of home.  Rainbow Dash, along with four of the other Equestrian six quickly pass him.  That leaves only Pinkie Pie behind him.  Without saying a word, she takes a bag of coffee away from him, specifically the one was holding in his mouth.  She purposefully avoided eye contact with him, however, and quickly trots off ahead to join the others.  Maybe she will soon turn on him too. > Chapter Six > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The rain had picked up again by the time they got home.  The second round of storms seemed much worse than the first.  Thunder boomed like there were cannons being fired all around Riversdale.  Romero trudges forwards, but is no longer in a hurry.  Not because he’s not in a hurry to get home, he most certainly is, but his hooves are so tired and weary from the almost eight-kilometer trek to his apartment to move quickly anymore.  His company are even more exhausted. “Mister Romero,” a fatigued Rarity calls out from behind him.  “Please tell me we’re getting close, my hooves are aching.  It’s unbearable!”  All of them were soaking wet by now.  Only Rarity had the foresight to pack an umbrella.  She originally gave it to Twilight for her to borrow, she then gave it to the yellow pegasus, she gave it to AppleJack, and they passed it around so many times that they each got equally drenched until the harsh winds kicked up and ruined it.  “Is the weather always this dreadful in Riversdale?” ‘Sure,’ Romero thought sarcastically.  ‘There’s a magical place where it rains and only rains, 24/7.’  His patience was wearing thin now.  He might snap if they don’t reach home soon.  He’d been listening to these girls complain for over two hours now.  That’s not all, Rainbow Dash’s eagerness to fly and zip about like a crazy pony all across down almost got them in trouble earlier.  Riversdale, and other urban areas like it, are Cavallian ‘No-Fly Zones’.  She can hover no more than ten feet above the ground within city limits unless she’s inside of clearly marked off areas, like parks and such.  Romero quickly discovered that she can be quite a hothead when pushed far enough.  Rainbow barked at the officer in protest, I mean she really let him have it.  It was only when the officer threatened her with a 5,000 buck fine did she finally back down. “We’re close, less than a block away.”  Romero reassures his group that they’re drawing near, but it seems like they’re not buying it.  They cross another empty street, and on that corner. There stood a meager-looking, four story, red brick building.  The building was much longer than it was wide, but that wasn’t saying much.  The front had a cement stoop, while a set of rickety metal stairs ran along the right side to the third floor.  Romero trots up the stoop.  Using his mouth, he removes a brick from the side of the building, revealing that it’s concave on the inside.  He reaches a hoof into the opening, and pulls out a set of keys.  He places the brick back onto place, and quickly unlocks the door. “Why do you keep your keys inside of a brick?”  Twilight asks flatly. “Well, I was expecting to be gone a lot longer than what I was.  So, I had a friend of mine check up on my place occasionally while I was gone.”   Romero walks in inside, relieved that he was finally within the confines of his warm apartment.  Being warm was beside the point, just being home was amazing.  Feeling a typical Riversdale summer rain, the smell of smog, smoke, and burnt enchiladas filling the air wherever he went.  Does Equestria have enchiladas?  Doubt it.  Who the heck needs the clean air and the green, rolling hills of Equestria when you have enchiladas, spicy potato wedges, deep fried green beans, and rice?  The natural food in Equestria is way overrated. Romero went on to clarify his earlier statement. "I leave a key in this secret spot for my friend so she can come in and check everything That saves me a couple of bucks from having to get a whole 'nother key made." “You have friends?” Twilight asks as she steps into the cozy apartment, wiping her hooves on his welcome mat.  Romero, meanwhile, is still fixated on her statement. “Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?”  Romero raises his voice, and throws up his hooves, completely surprised that he’s being backtalked by a pony who is currently a guest in his house.  “What kind of Friendship Princess, are you anyway?” “Wow, Twilight.  What the heck was that?”  Pinkie chirps in as she follows behind Twilight, shaking her mane a little to get some of the rain water out.  Twilight shakes her head rapidly and blinks a couple of times once she realizes what she just said. “Oh, wow.  I apologize.  That was… uncalled for.”  Romero narrows his eyes at this purple Equestrian, and quite frankly she was really beginning to get on his nerves. He watches her look around disapprovingly around his apartment, clearly not enjoying the décor. The walls of his living room were painted and dull mustard color, and she immediately shudders at the sight of it. Romero didn't like the color either, but that's what the apartment came with. Rarity follows Pinkie and she immediately collapses on his couch, floating in her luggage afterwards.   She groans as she sprawls out on Romero’s sofa.  “Oh, I have a headache from carrying all of that luggage, all that way.” “If ya wouldn’t ta packed so much stuff ya wouldn’t be hurtin’ right now, now would ya?” AppleJack lectures Rarity as she follows in after her.  AppleJack was slightly more prepared than her companions.  She wore galoshes, but she didn’t bother wiping them on the welcome rug before walking in.  Tracks of mud follow her.  Romero watches helplessly as his creme colored carpet is ruined.  He sighs, and shakes his head. “Well, we weren’t going to be able to get on a bus with all of the luggage Rarity and I had.  I really didn’t want to waste money on a pass anyway.  We really had no choice but to walk the whole way up here.” “What the heck is a ‘bus’?”  A wet Twilight asks as she sits on Romero’s favorite chair, a fluffy-looking recliner.  A muddy carpet, a wet chair, and luggage up to the ceiling; and we haven’t been home five minutes yet.  He groans as he can almost feel the muscles around his skull beginning to split from an upcoming mega-headache. This was going to be a LONG 60 days. “OH!  OH!  OH!  I think I know!  Pick me!  Pick me!”  An excited Pinkie Pie raises her hoof like a school child.  “Is it when one of those big metal thingys we saw crawling along the streets when we were walking up here?  The ones with the big bright lights in the front?  One made a beepy-honky noise when Rainbow Dash tried to run in front of one.” “Kinda…” Romero replies.  “That’s not a bus, that’s a car.  A bus is a lot bigger so it can carry a whole lot of ponies around town, and they only stop at certain places.”  The room got silent at the girls try to wrap their minds around such a concept. “They didn’t seem so tough,” Rainbow Dash dismissively remarks as the two pegasi fly in and close the front door behind them. “Rainbow Dash, it would’ve killed you.  A car literally weighs a ton, you’d be crushed.  You wouldn’t have a chance!”  Rainbow Dash waves Romero off despite his pleas, and rolls her eyes.  “Do you have a death wish, or somethin’?  Even little foals know not to go playing in the street!” “Since when do you care about what happens to us?” Rainbow Dash barks back at Romero. He wastes no time in firing back.  “Because, I don’t know what kind of consequences I would face if Celestia found out one of you was killed.  Something tells me she’d hardly believe it was an accident.  I don’t want somepony else's blood on my hooves.”  Rainbow Dash glares back as him as he lectures her. He then snorts angrily, trotting of the direction of the stairs. “What I need is a shower!” Rarity and Romero exclaimed in unison.  The two shocked ponies then stare at each other. “Look, my apartment has two bathrooms, but only one has a shower. So we’re going to have to coordinate this--."  Romero tries to calmly explain the situation to his guests when Rarity gets off the couch and trots up to him, waging her hoof at him.  “Oh, no no no no no no no no...  I am absolutely filthy from that horrid rain.  My nearly flawless complexion needs to be salvaged immediately!  Luckily, I brought my exfoliating tea leaf and cucumber coat wash and body oil, and it’s…”  She takes a quick look at her large pile of luggage.  “…uh, somewhere.” “See?  You’re not even ready!”  Romero rolls his eyes and trots back over to the couch, as Rarity begins to dig through her many bags. “In the meantime, I can put on some television and you gals can watch.” “What’s a television?”  Twilight questions. Romero replies by pointing a hoof at the small wooden box sitting on a stand right in the middle of his living room that everyone had surprisingly ignored.  “You turn it on like this.”  Romero trots over to it and turns a large metal dial to the left until it clicks, and the screen flashes on.  A black and white image fills and dances on the screen as audio plays.  The girls gasp collectively, wide eyed, apparently having never seen anything like this before.  “You can turn the dial more to get more channels, and turn the dial back to turn it off.”  The girls mutter among themselves. Romero turns around, and quickly trots upstairs. He smirks, “Now that’ll keep them entertained for a while.”