> Just a Little Batty
>  by I Thought I Was Toast
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Dawn of the First Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was hungry.

That’s what dad always said. It was a hungry beast that cooked fillies into cakes and ate them up if they stayed up too late past bedtime. Clinging to Mom’s back, I certainly felt like it would. I could feel its creepy stare burning into my coat; it was making me itch all over. Even with the glasses Dad gave me, I could see it watching me when I risked a glance—like an eyeball or something. It was so white it hurt to look at, so I never did look for long.

Maybe it would be different this time?

Ow! No, no it still hurt! It left me seeing spots—large, white spots—and I whispered a few words I’d heard Dad say. Afterwards, I peeked at Mom to make sure she hadn’t heard.

“Don’t look at the sun, dear. You’ll hurt your eyes.” Mom banked to the side, flying under some clouds to give me sweet shade.

“Sorry…” I buried my face in her soft, grey mane and gave a squeaky yawn. “It’s just weird to be up this late.”

“This is early for most ponies, Night.” Mom giggled. “Hopefully, you and your father will get used to it quickly.”

“But I don’t wanna get used to it!” I whined.

“You don’t want to spend more time with me?” Mom shifted beneath me. “I barely got to see you and your father in Canterlot—what with us being on opposite shifts.”

She twisted her head around to nuzzle me—denying me my hiding spot in her mane. “I missed my little filly. That’s why we transferred to Ponyville. “Oh, darn, I missed the school!” Mom suddenly banked again, almost throwing me off. She managed to catch me by the nape of my neck, though.

She came in for a landing in front of the school and gently set me down for another nuzzle. “Go on, then, sleepy head. We just barely made it, and you don’t want to be late.”

I squirmed in Mom’s embrace. So embarrassing. It’s a good thing everypony was inside already. Carrying me by my neck… I wasn’t a yearling anymore! I could have glided down! Well, probably.

Mom pulled back, face scrunching in worry. “Nightingale, what’s wrong? You aren’t nervous, are you?”

“No, Mom…?” Did it count as lying? There were butterflies in my stomach—the non-tasty kind—but they weren’t the reason I was wiggling out of the hug.

Mom smiled. “Of course, what am I saying? You’re just eager to get going, aren’t you? My brave, little filly.”

I rolled my eyes, but a wide smile had crept onto my face as we hugged once more.

Mhmm… I did feel a little better this time. Unlike the itchy sun, Mom was soft and fuzzy. Her warmth was like moonlight, and some of my stomach butterflies flew away as she wrapped her hooves around me.

Mom hugs were the best.

She pulled back far too soon and nudged me towards the school with her muzzle. I walked toward it with my head held a little higher this time. It was hard, though. The sun was watching me from above the school house, the whole thing making me feel a lot smaller.

And that white sky. There was just something so wrong about that. It was meant to be a mix of greys and soft white spots. I couldn’t even spot any clouds unless I looked for the shade they cast.

Even scarier, though, I could hear all the fillies and colts whispering. There were a lot of them—way more than I was used to seeing at school.

“Alright, class, settle down.” My ear flicked as the firm voice of the teacher made itself known over all the hushed chatter of everypony else. “I’m excited to tell you all we have a new student today! They seem to be running a little late—”

“Aw, horseapples.”

“—but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give them a warm welcome! From what I understand, she might need help getting used to how we do things around here, so I want all of you on your best behavior!”

“Yes, Miss Cheerilee!” Everypony chimed.

Huh, maybe the class wouldn’t be so scary. Only one way to find out.

I poked my head through the door, and everypony fell silent. A big mix of various greys stared at me—some cocking their heads to the side, others’ eyes widening. The teacher shuffled awkwardly on her hooves as nopony else said anything.

“Cool….” It was a lanky colt in the back who drawled, breaking the silence, after which I was suddenly bombarded with questions and comments. My ears were forced to flatten at the sheer volume of it all.

“What’s with the wings?”

“And the glasses?”

“Can you fly like that?”

“Look at her ears!”

“Her ears? Look at those fangs!”

“Can you roar?”

“How do you eat like that?”

“I heard bat ponies eat bugs! Is that true?”

“Bugs? Eww! No way she does that!”

“Everypony remember your promise~” The teacher finally came to my rescue. Everypony else quieted down reluctantly, fidgeting in anticipation, and I was able to raise my ears once more.

“This is Nightingale. She just moved to Ponyville and will be joining us from now on.” She turned to me. “I’m your new teacher, Miss Cheerilee, and I like smiling students who turn in their homework on time! Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?”

“Umm… hi.” My eyes fell as I kicked at the ground. Oh, look, hooves. Yes, interesting. “My name is Nightingale and I’m a thestral. I love to drink my juice boxes.”

“Yeaaaah!” A colt with a beanie waved at me.

I suppressed a small smile as I continued, “Also, please be careful who you call bat pony. I don’t really mind, but some of my Dad’s family get really angry when they’re called that.”

“Duhhhh… aren’t you half bat, though?” A colt raised his hoof.

“Snails!” Miss Cheerilee tapped a hoof on the ground. “What have I told you about raising your hoof?”

The ash-grey unicorn, Snails, apparently, slowly tilted his head to the side. “Not to talk unless I’m called on? What does that have to do with— Oh, sorry!” He raised his hoof again. “Not to talk unless I’m called on?”

My new teacher sighed. “Yes, Snails.”

I shuffled. “It’s okay, Miss Cheerilee. I was done anyways.”

She blinked. “Are you sure that’s all you wanted to say to your new classmates? I just know they’re brimming with questions about thestrals. I certainly am.”

“Well, I mean… is there anything else?” I squirmed. “I don’t really know what I should say.”

Cheerilee smiled. “Alright. Class?”

Every single pony raised their hooves.

“Tell me you don’t actually eat bugs,” an earth pony with a tiara huffed as I pointed at her.

“But… I kind of do….” I fidgeted. “My dad says they’re full of proteins and stuff—things I can’t get from from the food everypony else eats.” I cocked my head to the side. “I still like fruits and vegetables and stuff… but they don’t… Miss Cherilee, do you know how to explain this?”

The charcoal teacher nodded. “Thestrals are what we call carnivorous, Diamond Tiara. Like griffons, they can’t get much nutritional value from the foods we eat. From the little I know, insects are the easiest way to satisfy their dietary needs.”

“Eww….” The filly backed down. “That’s… that’s so gross.”

“My favorite are butterflies.” I cracked a smile. She was totally missing out. “They’re light and flakey in the wings with a nice crunchy little core for the body.” I pointed at another pony in class.

“What’th with the glatheth?” A light pony with a darker mane pointed to her own glasses.

Hesitantly taking my shades off, I looked at them. “Dad says I need to wear them so I don’t hurt my eyes, but everything should be fine as long as I’m inside.”

I pointed to another pony in the back with a large bow. “Why can everypony else see ya like I can? Granny told me that the only ponies who can see thestrals are those who’ve seen ponies…” she hesitated, “...pass on.”

My ear flicked as the class broke into hushed whispers. “Huh? I-I’ve never heard that one before. Was that from an old fairy tale?”

Miss Cheerilee glanced up to the clock. “Oh my goodness, I thought we’d have more time for questions. Everypony get out your math books! We need to start our actual lessons. If you still have questions, I’m sure Nightingale would love to answer them at recess.”

She looked to me. “Nightingale, can you please take a seat next to Scootaloo in the back? She’s the orange one with the fuschia mane.”

“Orange?” I licked my lips. “Miss Cheerilee, I don’t see any fruit.”

The class broke into hysterical laughter, and even Cheerilee giggled a bit as I looked around in confusion.

“Oh… I’m terribly sorry, Nightingale. I didn’t know you were colorblind.” Miss Cherilee blinked as she realized I was serious.

A hoof patted my back. “Go sit next to Apple Bloom. She’s the one with the bow who asked you a question.”

I looked up to find Cheerilee smiling, then looked out to find the filly in question. She waved halfheartedly to me, so I creeped forward to set my bags beside my desk and crouched down in my seat.

I yawned, trying to ignore Apple Bloom as she edged to the other side of her seat, and I set my glasses on the desk before me. I always aced my math tests, so I could afford to rest my eyes for just a minute.

I just needed to make sure… to make sure… not to… fall…





The loud thwap of paper hitting my desk startled me from slumber. Looking up, I found Miss Cheerilee frowning at me with that disapproving frown all teachers seem to have.

“Nightingale, I know you’re still adapting to your new schedule, but please try to avoid falling asleep. It’ll only make the change harder if you do.”

“Sorry, Miss Cheerilee,” I mumbled—more to my desk than her. I sneaked a peek up at her, and her frown turned into a smile.

“Don’t be. I’m not mad, just worried. I don’t want you having to struggle to catch up if you fall behind.”

“I won’t fall behind. I promise.” I massaged my eyes with my frogs, yawning.

“Yes, well, unfortunately you’ll need to prove that to me by acing the extra homework I’m assigning you.” Miss Cheerilee pushed the extremely thick packet of paper towards me. “I can’t make exceptions to the rules just because of your situation, and sleeping in class comes with extra work for the lessons you missed.”

“No detention?” I blinked owlishly. “I… thank you, Miss Cheerilee. You’re much nicer than my other teachers.”

She raised a hoof to ruffle my mane. “You’re very welcome, Nightingale. Trust me. As long as you don’t do anything too troublesome, you won’t get detention or lose recess.”

She glanced at the clock. “Speaking of which, you somehow slept through the bell. Everypony else is already outside if you want to join them.”

“I think it might be better if I just have lunch and take another nap in a tree.” I arched my back. “It’ll hopefully keep me going through class afterward.” I frowned slightly. “And I am really sorry about falling asleep. I just wanted to rest my eyes for a bit.”

Miss Cheerilee giggled. “That’s what they all say.” She pushed me toward the door with one hoof. “Go on, then! Everypony is waiting for you!”

Grabbing my saddlebags, I ran for the door and sweet freedom.

“Oh, wait! You forgot your—”

As I tossed the door open and ran outside, the world burned white.

“—glasses.”

“Scree!” I gave a screeching squeak that caused the mass of white blobs in front of me to flinch. White. White. So much white. All of it indistinct and blurry and painful.

I slammed the door shut, and bolted back into the room only to stumble into something—a desk most likely, but I couldn’t tell with all the spots seared into my eyes. I needed darkness. Blissful shadows. There were blotches of shade I could barely make out beneath the object I’d tripped over, but hiding beneath a desk—if that’s what it was—wouldn’t provide nearly enough cover.

“Nightingale, are you okay?”

A hoof touched my withers and I turned to clamp onto Miss Cheerilee with a whimpering whiny. “Bright. Too bright! The light! It’s evil!”

“It’s okay, Night.” A familiar weight settled onto my muzzle, afterwhich my face was buried into a flower-scented mane. “You’ll be okay. What can I do to help?”

I opened my eyes—the world blissfully darkened to a more tolerable state. Spots still danced before me, but the pain was a little more bearable.

“T-thank you.” I sniffed. “D-do you have a closet I could hang out in? Dad told me that if this ever happened, I needed as much darkness as possible.”

“Yes, sweetie, we do, although it’s a little cramped.” Miss Cherilee began nudging me along.

“Cramped is good.” I hesitantly let her pull me along, blinking rapidly to try and banish the spots.

“Still, spending your recess in there…. I feel so bad. Should I call a doctor or your parents? How serious is this?” She stopped pushing me along, and the tinkling sounds of a key ring filled my ears.

“It’ll be alright.” I squirmed. “It’s the first day of school after all….”

“Hrmm… I still better go and check with your parents.” The lock clicked open, and Miss Cheerilee began to fiddle with the door. “So… you want me to just… shut you in here?”

A portal of sweet, shady darkness opened before me. Muted greys outlined a small, cozy alcove with several boxes scattered on the floor. A bar with wooden hooks crossed from wall to wall near the top—a coat hanger sans any coats—while a shelf for hats and scarves sat even further up.

“It’s amazing,” I whispered, diving in between the boxes to the back wall. With a flap of my wings, I propelled myself up to hook my tail around the hanger.

Dangling, I stared out, blinking at a slack-jawed, upside-down Miss Cheerilee. “Can I use the shelf too?”

She shook her head before looking back at me. “Use the shelf for what?”

“Laying down. I have a book I’m in the middle of reading in my bags.” I swung upwards, launching myself at the edge of the shelf above me and scrabbling over the edge. Turning in circles a few times, I settled down—the ceiling and walls a mere hooves length from me.

“I… suppose there’s nothing wrong with that.” Miss Cherilee bit her lip. “Just please try not to fall while I’m gone.”

“Yes, ma’am!” I stood and saluted, knocking my head on the ceiling. “Ow— I mean, I totally feel better already!”

My teacher giggled. “Well, at least you seem more comfortable. Would you like me to send a couple students in to keep you company while I go check in with your parents?”

I ruffled my wings, ears twitching. “If you think they won’t mind….”

She waved a hoof dismissively. “I have the perfect fillies in mind. They won’t care at all—or one of them won’t. If you’ll excuse me, though, I really should get going. You don’t seem like you’ll need a doctor anymore, but I couldn’t call myself your teacher if I didn’t check to make sure.”

She stomped a hoof. “Oh, I knew I should have asked more questions when your parents were registering you. At least—if I hurry—I can get back by the end of recess.” With a wave, she closed the door. “Stay safe in there, alright?”

As the sound of Miss Cheerilee’s hoofsteps faded, my stomach growled. I licked my lips before I stood, jumping down from the shelf onto the boxes below. Poking my head into my saddlebags, I quickly found a juice box to suck on.

I ignored the straw—because Dad said straws were for wimps—and promptly bit into the box. Schlurp! Delicious, dark, liquid filled my mouth with a sweet and nutty taste as I turned the carton into a shriveled husk.

When it was thoroughly drained, I spat it out back into my bag and climbed back onto the coat hanger. I dangled there by my tail, waiting, until a light knocking came from the other side of the door.

“Come in!” I fidgeted and licked my fangs just in case any juice remaining.

The door creaked open to reveal two familiar fillies with a tiara and a bow.

“H-hello?” Apple Bloom shuffled from hoof to hoof.

“Hello!” I bared my fangs in a grin and waved.

The filly flinched at my wave, and my smile faltered. Diamond huffed at the display before sauntering in like she owned the place.

“Puh-lease, Apple Bloom. By now it should be clear those stories Granny Smith told you were wrong.”

A certain fire lit in the filly’s eyes, and she slowly entered, leaving the door open just a crack. “I know that, Diamond, but it’s hard to forget all of ‘em. Granny made them to be some big, ol’ scary monsters that’d suck all yer blood before eatin’ ya.”

I pouted. “Why would I want to do that?”

“And that clearly isn’t the case!” Diamond waved a hoof at me. “She eats insects, sure—” she failed to suppress a shudder, “—but who in their right mind would drink blood? She’s not a vampony! Get ahold of yourself, filly!”

“I know! I know! I’m here, aren’t I?” Apple Bloom snorted.

“Uh… girls?” I fidgeted. “Do you mind?”

Apple Bloom blinked. “Aww, nuts. We’re doing it again, ain’t we? Diamond has a tendency to make me act like a…”

“Mule?” Diamond tittered.

“Takes one to know one.” Apple Bloom slugged the pink filly in the shoulder before squinting up at me. “So… what exactly happened back in the yard? Ya came barreling out of the school and screamed something awful. Are ya alright?”

“Yeah,” I sighed, idly swinging back and forth. “I just forgot to put my glasses on before going outside. I should be fine as long as I stay in here for a bit.”

“That sucks.” Apple Bloom kicked a box.

“Not as much as Night will if she thinks you look tasty! Bleh! Bleh!” Diamond faked a laugh.

“Alright, Diamond, I get it! She doesn’t drink blood!” Apple Bloom huffed.

“Yeah!” I chirped. “That’d be silly. Hoof me a juice box from my bag, will you?”

“Here ya go?” Apple Bloom quickly tossed me a box.

It hit my hooves, and I fumbled trying to get ahold of it. As it passed my head, however, I let my tongue dart out to wrap around and pull it straight to my mouth.

Schlurp!

The others stared—or rather squinted—as I turned the box into a shriveled husk and spat it into my bag. Was I not supposed to do that? Maybe it was bad manners by day dweller standards.

“Well, dang!” Apple Bloom slapped her knee. “I guess we know where those vampony stories came from. What’s in those to make them so good?”

“You can try one if you like.” I pointed to my bag. “They’re basically my lunch.”

“I’ll take one,” Diamond sniffed. “I accidentally left my lunch outside when Miss Cheerilee asked us to come in, so you owe me.”

I shrugged. “Go ahead.”

She dug out another box and squinted at it. “Beet Positive is such a weird name. You’re weird, you know that?”

Apple Bloom swatted her friend as I squirmed.

“What? It’s true.” Diamond huffed. “That’s not a bad thing, just a fact.”

She pulled the little plastic straw from the back of the box—wimp—and poked it through the hole on the top. With a mighty schlurp, she took a sip, only to throw her head back and spit it all over one of the boxes.

“Eww! That tastes nasty! What’s in it?” She opened the door a smidge more to peer at the ingredients. “Contains beets, bees, and B Positive.”

She threw the box at me, so I caught it and drained it thoroughly. “Bees! You gave me bees!”

I spat the box back into my bag. “Yeah. I mean, they won’t kill you. Mom eats candy-coated cockroaches with me all the time.”

“C-candy-coated cockroaches?” Diamonds face darkened noticeably. “I would die if I ate those.”

Apple Bloom poked into my bag and pulled the empty box back out. “Mah question is: what the hay is B Positive?”

I shrugged. “No idea. I always assumed it was like the special sauce on Burger Princess hayburgers—some special ingredient that they can’t tell ponies about.”

“I think I might be sick….” Diamond groaned.

“Really?” I dropped straight down to hug her. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean anything by it, honest! I didn’t know it tasted that bad to other ponies.”

“Stop blubbering like I’m not going to be your friend over an honest mistake,” Diamond huffed, quickly pulling back from my embrace. “I’m far too good for that.”

“So we can actually be friends then?” I ruffled my wings.

“We can give it a shot….” Diamond sighed.

“Aww… she’s just being difficult again.” Apple Bloom rubbed the back of her head. “Ya shoulda seen her jump at the chance to get to know you. She was happy as a dog in a buffalo graveyard to meet somepony she didn’t have a past with.” She winked. “Diamond used to be a bit of a bully, if ya can believe that. Frankly, I just don’t see it.”

I giggled. “Neither do I.”

“Apple Bloom,” Diamond whined before joining us in our giggles.





“Alright, class. I’ll see you tomorrow! And don’t forget your homework! I know you’re all excited for—” Miss Cheerilee bit her lip and glanced at me, “—hanging out with your friends at Sugarcube Corner, but that’s no excuse for tardy homework.”

“Yes, Miss Cheerilee!” The class chorused—a variety of farewells trailing behind them as they stormed out the door like a tidal wave. Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara had been nice enough to wait for me, and waved three other fillies on before heading over to my desk.

“Ya ready to have some fun, Nightingale?” Apple Bloom drawled.

“I guess.” I ruffled my wings. “Not sure if Mom and Dad are picking me up, but I’m sure they’ll understand. Are we going to this Sugarcube Corner place?”

“You betcha!” Apple Bloom nodded. “Ya haven’t lived till you’ve tried their Apple Fritter Sundae.”

“Of course you’d go suggesting apples,” Diamond huffed, turning her snout up slightly. “Trust me, Night. What you really want is their strawberry-banana smoothie.”

“Don’t listen to her.” Apple Bloom nudged Diamond to the side. “She’s probably just been talkin’ with Strawberry Sunrise—” she spat, like she’d just bitten into a sour horseapple, “—the no-good, yellow-bellied, two-faced daughter of Discord.”

“There’s nothing wrong with disliking apples.” Diamond sniffed before discreetly giving me a wink.

“Umm… girls?” I squirmed.

“She hates them, though!”  Apple Bloom threw up her hooves. “Rubs it in our faces like a patch of poison oak!”

“Girls! Can we please not?!” I stomped a hoof.

Both Diamond and Apple Bloom blinked. “Sorry…” they mumbled together, kicking at the floor.

“It’s okay,” I sighed. “I’m just not used to friends that are so…”

“Passionate?” Diamond queried.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Well, I think it’s adorable.” A deep baritone came from the doorway, and I jumped two meters high. “A couple of feisty friends will help you come out of your shell.”

“Dad.” I whined, turning to the door. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Just long enough to see you take charge.” He flashed his fangs in a grin. “You keep practicing that, and you might make a fine drill sergeant someday. I’ll even teach you how to tear into cadets like fresh meat.”

“Oh, no you won’t.” Mom entered the schoolhouse with Miss Cherilee and thwapped him in the back of the head with her wing. “The last thing I want is for Nightingale to end up as the new Sergeant Smiles. If she’s going in the guard, she better be doing it properly.”

“Well, then she’ll need to get into some proper fights.” Dad roared with laughter. “She’ll need to be scrappy to make it into Princess Luna’s personal guard.”

He ducked as Mom swung her wing at him again. “Easy, honey, easy! You might knock my shades off.” He used his wing to pull her into a quick hug. “Besides, you remember what we were like at that age!”

“Yes, well,” Mom smiled softly, then continued, “Nightingale is cut from a different cloth than us, dear.”

“Nuh-uh!” I puffed my chest out, saluting. “I’m gonna be the best guard there is—just like you and Dad!”

“Of course, sweetie.” Mom came forward to ruffle my mane with her hoof. “Now, how about you introduce us to your friends?”

“Oh!” My ears perked momentarily, only to splay back when I guiltily glanced at my newest friends. “Sorry. This is Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara.”

“Hi there!” Apple Bloom drawled.

“It’s a pleasure.” Diamond nodded.

I squirmed slightly. “They were nice enough to sit in the closet with me during recess when I accidentally went outside without my glasses.”

Dad clicked his tongue. “Yes, we heard about that. I warned you not to take your shades off, Night.”

“But everything was fine in the schoolhouse!” I whined.

“Direct light from the windows can still hurt.” Dad frowned. “All it’ll take is something metal reflecting the sun the wrong way and bam, you’re down.” He rubbed his shoulder. “I found that out the hard way in training, Night.”

“You started it with all the sweet talk, dear.” Mom giggled, giving him a peck on the cheek. “Flirting with the enemy isn’t an option for married stallions.”

“We weren’t married!” Dad protested. “We had barely started dating!”

The giggles became outright laughter. “Oh, but I knew it was only a matter of time.”

Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara both poked me. I looked to them, and they both gestured at the door.

The door? Oh, right, Sugarcube Corner!

“So, umm… Mom and Dad?” I kicked the ground. “I know you’re here to pick me up, but Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara wanted to take me to Sugarcube Corner….”

Dad arched his brow, and I realized my mistake.

Head up. Back straight. Stance rigid. I saluted. “Permission to accompany my friends, sir!”

“There’s the spirit.” Dad smiled. “Yes, Night, you can spend some time getting to know your friends more. We actually just came from Sugarcube Corner ourselves, and it was pleasantly surprising—as long as you restrain the urge to go for the neck.”

“What?” I blinked.

“Oh, it’s nothing, really.” Mom waved a hoof dismissively. “You three go on and have some fun. Miss Cheerilee wanted to talk to us, after all. We’ve probably delayed her here long enough as it is.”

Miss Cheerilee smiled. “It’s not that big a deal. I just love seeing my students together with their family. I get to see a whole different side of teaching.” She headed in to rummage through her desk. “That said, I have a few more suggestions for you now. Did you know Ponyville is getting its own Junior Guard Division soon? It won’t be as big as Canterlot’s, but I’m sure Nightingale would love…”

Apple Bloom and Diamond waved at me from the door as my parents began to follow Miss Cheerilee.

Right. I had kept us waiting long enough. I gave a quick hug to my parents before I dashed through the door.





“Surprise!”

I bit my tongue, hard, while jumping a few meters into the air. I hovered a few seconds to collect myself—amid everypony’s giggles—before lowering myself back to the floor. As I landed, though, a vibrating pony popped out from beneath the floorboard in front of me, and I went skyborne once more.

“Ahh!” She wasn’t gray. She wasn’t gray! She wasn’t gray!

I had no idea what colors she was, but none of them were gray, and that made my entire coat stand on end. Was this what Dad meant about resisting the urge to go for the throat? Because part of me wanted to strike the unnatural terror in front of me down, while the other part wanted to run.

Whatever she was, she opened her mouth. “Hi there! I’m Pinkie Pie, and this is your surprise party! Were you surprised, huh? Were you? Were you? I spent like the last two hours planning it. You’re parents were so helpful with that! I mean, I threw them a party too, but I don’t meet many thestrals, so they spent most of it telling me what I’d need to make your party better.”

The mare— monster— Pinkie Pie, stomped a hoof, yet refused to stop for breath. “So now I’ll need to throw them two— No, three! I need to throw them three more parties! One to make up for their horrible Welcome to Ponyville Party. One to thank them for missing their own to help with yours. And a third because of The Rule of Three! Why stop at two parties when I can have three?! Wait… The Rule of Three only applies to books, doesn’t it? Maybe if I color a story about all three parties it’ll count. I have crayons and—”

There was a gasp, and a long terrifying suction of air that I swear tried to pull me towards her. Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara came to my rescue, though, pulling me away from the monster in pony skin before she could resume.

“Sorry.” Apple Bloom patted my withers as we rested by the snack table—my back to the wall to keep an eye on the hyperactive monster. “Pinkie gets a little overzealous with new friends. We would’ve warned ya, but we couldn’t really do that without the risk of spoiling the surprise.”

“And why wouldn’t I be zealous about new friends!”

I nearly jumped out of my skin again as the voice spoke from behind me. I spun around to find the monster—Apple Bloom had called her Pinkie Pie—grinning at me like a loon under moon.

Her grin faltered somewhat as she saw my face, and she rubbed the back of her head. “Aww party poopers, you’re one of those ponies, aren’t you? Your parents said you were a little shy, but I thought that meant some of the good old Pinkie Pie charm would get you right out of your shell….”

She looked to Bloom and Diamond. “I overdid things, didn’t I?”

My friends nodded.

The monster— mare nodded as solemnly as her curly mane would allow. “Welp, I better go tell the other crusaders to cancel that big surprise we talked about, then.”

“What big surprise?” Apple Bloom arched an eyebrow. “Nopony told me about any surprises.”

Pinkie waved a hoof. “Don’t worry about it! Scoots just thought that—”

“Oh, well there’s the problem,” Apple Bloom groaned. “Go remind Scoots about the first time we tried to induct Diamond and Silver. I’d rather we not scare Nightingale away too.”

“Oki doki loki!” Pinkie giggled. “You want to save introductions with them for another day, then?”

“Yeah, if they don’t mind waitin’ a day or two,” Apple Bloom sighed. “As much as I hate to say it, introducing Nightingale to the rest of the crusaders might overwhelm her.”

I frowned. “Your other friends can’t be that bad, can they? I mean, they’re your friends!”

Diamond laughed. “You have no idea, Night. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo used to be arguably worse than Pinkie Pie.” She glanced at the explosion of color, and gave a small smile. “No offense.”

“None taken!” Pinkie chirped. “You’re abso-posi-tivitutely right!”

I blinked, looking between the mess of color in front of me and Apple Bloom. “Oh… maybe it is better to wait, then.”

Pinkie nodded. “Yepperooni! You just worry about enjoying your party. I’m gonna go talk to the other crusaders, but don’t hesitate to call if the questions get to be too much!”

“Questions?” I tilted my head.

Pinkie pointed behind us, and I turned to find all the foals from class—plus a few new additions—sneaking glances at me as they whispered to each other. Upon seeing me look, almost all of them waved.

“Hey! Wanna play Pin the Tail on the Pony?!”

“Nah! You should play Twister with us!”

“How about we start that piñata?!”

Pinkie giggled, bending down to whisper in my ear. “I suggest the piñata, personally. Those candy coated cockroaches your parents taught me to make were surprisingly good. Just don’t tell the others until they’re eating them. It’s like the perfect prank.”

She winked, and I couldn’t help but smile. “A-alright, then.”

As Pinkie bounded away, I looked out on everypony and sighed. “S-so how long do you think all the questions will take?” I glanced back at Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara.

“Umm… probably longer than you’ll care for.” Apple Bloom kicked the ground. “Before the two of us came in to sit with ya during recess, everypony was brainstorming questions.”

“G-great!” I tried to smile a bit too hard, and it made Bloom and Diamond flinch.

“Guess we’re starting with the piñata, then!”
> Batmare Begins
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stalking my unwitting prey, I hunched low to the ground. I slunk forward—eyes on the prize—wriggling my rump in anticipation of the pounce.

Oblivious to its fate, my prey continued to flutter over the flower patch. All I needed to do was wait for it to land for some nectar and it’d be—

The butterfly floated to closer to a wild tulip only to find itself suddenly snatched up by predatory claws as we both discovered that not all the flowers were flowers.

A mantis and a butterfly?! Score! Two for the price of one!

I leapt, quickly snatching up the wildflower they rested on in my fangs. A happy hum filled the air as gossamer wings flaked apart in my mouth. Carapace cracked open to deliver deliciously squishy innards, the legs twitching once or twice in a satisfyingly ticklish way. Butterflies were always good, and mantises were rare. Even the flower was an added bonus—mmm, tulips, yum.

“Hey, Night! There you are!” A small buzz announced Scootaloo as she wheeled over a hill. “Why’d you sneak off like that?!” She whipped off her helmet to rest it on the handle of her scooter. “You had us all worried! This is the edge of the Everfree Forest!”

I quickly swallowed before turning. “But you said it was safe….” I kicked the ground. “You girls were taking too long, and I was hungry!”

Scoots rolled her eyes. “Well, it’s not safe if you wander off! You know how much trouble we’ll get in if you get hurt?”

I giggled. “So it’s fine if I get eaten, just as long as you lot don’t get in trouble for it?”

“Of course!” Scoots tossed back her head and spread her wings. “It’s really not all that bad though. All the adults are just worrywarts. It’s perfectly safe as long we stick together.”

“I’ll try to remember that.” I bared my fangs in a grin.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m not edible.” Scootaloo stuck out her tongue.

“But I thought you were an orange?” I licked my lips.

Scootaloo blew a tuft of mane out of her face. “Just hop on. We need to get back fast. I went a little farther than I said I would, so now everypony else is probably worried about both of us.”

I jumped on the back of her scooter and almost fell right off the bat. Standing on two hooves was harder than it looked, and I had to clamp my forelegs around her barrel to balance myself.

“Hey!” Scootaloo squirmed. “You mind letting me breathe?!”

“I-is this safe?” All attempts to loosen my grip quickly ceased whenever I wobbled on my hind legs.

My grip tightened.

“Urk!” Scoots grunted. “Y-yeah. It’ll be fine—as long I don’t pass out first!” She began buzzing her wings. “Now, loosen up and help with the wing power!”

I started trying to flap my wings in time with Scootaloo. Dad had said that was really important for chariot duty, and Scoots’ scooter was basically a really small chariot with how she buzzed along.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t flap anywhere near as fast as her. My wings were bigger—clunkier—and I could only flap them once to every five beats from Scootaloo. Every push jolted us slightly faster, although we always slowed as my wings readied for their next beat.

The climb back up the hill was really jerky and difficult because of this. As we hit the top, though, Scootaloo smirked. “And now the real fun begins in three… two… one….”

We passed over the top, stalling there for just a moment until my wings gave their next mighty beat.

And there goes my stomach.

“Woot!” Scoots grinned manically as we picked up speed—her wings buzzing faster and forcing my own to try and pick up speed.

“Screeeeeeee!” My own screech was much more panicked.

We dashed down and onwards, the wood of the scooter creaking ominously beneath. The forest to our side passed in a blur as we shot towards an isolated tree with a rope swing in the distance.

Had I really been hunting this far off?

The others were waiting there—little grey blobs in the distance. They waved as they saw us approaching, and cupped their hooves to their mouths to shout.

“Come on!”

“Hurry up!”

“You won’t believe what I found!”

We scooted up to the tree, and Scoots turned into a harsh, sudden stop just as I flapped my wings. Ripped from my death grip on her barrel, I shot into the air right at the tree.

I flapped just before crashing, and corrected my path to direct me under a tree branch. My tail whipped out to curl around it, and I spun round and round—gurgling as I fought not to lose the butterflies in my stomach. My glasses fought to slide off, but I kept them firmly on my face as I bit my lip to keep my lunch in.

“Urgh….” I finally dangled to a stop, world spinning, stomach lurching. “Scoots, you said it was safe!”

“What can I say?” Scootaloo shrugged. “You didn’t hold on tight enough.” She turned to the others. “What’s this about finding something, though? We were supposed to be looking for Night here.”

“Ah was,” Applebloom drawled.

“I was!” Sweetie Belle beamed at me.

“I wasn’t,” Silver deadpanned.

“Oh, yes you were,” Diamond sniffed, head held high. “I had to keep stopping you from double checking places—and I quote—‘in case she came back.’”

“Are you sure you aren’t quoting yourself, Diamond?” Silver Spoon made a motion with her hoof. “You were zipping about so fast you could given Rainbow a run for her bits.”

I giggled. “Thanks, girls.”

“You won’t believe what I found when I was poking around town, though.” Diamond grinned, pulling several fliers from her saddle bags. “They were just hanging them up too. Girls, I give you what we’re going to do today!”

She hoofed a flier to each of us and I stared at the contents.

“Ponyville Junior Guard Division?” Sweetie cocked her head to the side. “What’s a Junior Guard?”

“Ah don’t think we’re old enough for the guard, Diamond.” Apple Bloom looked between her friend and the poster.

“It’s not the actual guard.” I gently swung back and forth, hoping the motion would sooth my stomach. “Well, it is and it isn’t. The guard funds these little groups for foals that want to join the guard. I always wanted to join the Canterlot one, but Dad said it had a strictly daytime schedule, so I never did.”

“That still don’t explain why the hay Diamond wants us to do this.” Apple Bloom arched her brow.

“Well, I don’t really want to.” Diamond stuck her snout up. “But I just knew Night would want in. I say we at least try it.”

The girls looked between each other before looking to me and nodding.

“Sure!” they chorused before lifting their hooves up high. “Cutie Mark Crusader Guard Patrol!”

“Yeah!” I swung a few more times and launched myself from the branch so I could join in on the high hoof.





I poked through the door into the sweet shade of my house, put my glasses and saddlebags on the floor, and slunk down the shadowed hall to find my newest prey. He was sleeping on the sofa—armor strewn on the ground before him—and I knew this might be my only chance to catch him unaware today.

I crept forward as stealthily as I could, tip-toeing on my frogs—as not even the softness of cloud could be trusted to hide my hoofsteps from him. Picking my way through the minefield of armor, I hardly dared to breath. I flinched as a flick of my tail cracked through the air like silent thunder, but managed not to squeak.

My prey’s ears twitched at the sound—small as it was—and I froze, debating whether or not I should hide in the clouds. His ears twitched again as I waited, and, after a long moment, he finally rolled on his side to face away from me.

Drat. Now I’d need to climb to the back of the couch without him noticing. Still, it was better than being caught.

I began to breath again, and hesitantly restarted my advance. As I reached the hoofrest for the couch, he stirred again—briefly bending his neck around to scratch at the base of his wings with his fangs.

“Mrgmmf… no, not the glitter. I’d rather die than sparkle, you fiends….”

Oh, Dad….

Mom giggled from her vantage point on the lounger, muffling the sound with her wings when I turned to pout at her. She waved a hoof—egging me on—before returning to reading her book by candlelight.

“No. No!” Dad snorted loudly, flopping over to his other side again. “Get away from me….” He kicked one hoof feebly at the air. “Anything but garlic breath….”

Now was my chance! I continued to slink forward, low to the ground, butt in the air. My rump wriggled as I prepared to pounce.

“Boop.”

I blinked—rear end freezing mid-waggle—as my snoot was suddenly assaulted by a hoof almost as thick as my head. Looking up the length of the massive foreleg it was attached to, I found Dad baring his fangs in a grin at me.

“Nice try, Night, but somepony—” he waggled his brow at Mom, “—woke me up.”

“Mom!” I half-screeched, half-whined. There were giggles behind me, and Dad let out a hearty laugh.

“Now, then.” Dad leaned forward. “What do you want, my little light in the night? You rarely go for the snoot anymore unless you want something.”

I squirmed. “Well, it’s not like I ever win.”

Dad laughed again and ruffled my mane. “It’s good practice for getting in the guard, though! You never know when you might need a bit of stealth.”

“Anyways…” I bit my lip, and Dad grinned knowingly. “I was wondering if I could join the new Junior Guard Division?”

“It’s finally starting, eh?” There was an appreciative hum from Dad. “Your teacher mentioned Ponyville was getting one, but I didn’t realize it’d be so soon. I certainly don’t have a problem with it, though. Do you, honey?”

“Of course not!” Mom laughed. “I would never deprive Night of the opportunity to meet her future husband like I did.”

My face heated as Dad snorted. “Keyword being future. Remember all the fights we got into? We hated each other as foals.”

“Oh, hate is such a strong word.” Mom waved a hoof. “I didn’t hate you. I liked you. I just liked messing with you more.”

Dad grinned. “You don’t say? Well, guess what? The feeling was mutual.”

He ruffled my mane again. “Don’t worry, though. If any colts actually manage to beat you, I get to beat them when they’re older. Dad’s prerogative. I’ll become a drill sergeant just for them, and then I’ll run them ragged for messing with my little filly.”

He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “And if they do beat you, you just give them a swirly. Trust me, it does wonders in the long run.”

“It did not!” Mom laughed. “Now stop filling her head with ideas and go start your half of dinner. I made the salad and dressing about an hour ago. All that’s left is for you to roast the crickets you caught last night and toss everything together.”





I walked up to the castle with my tail twitching. Princess Twilight’s home was freakin huge, the towers stretching up to bite into the sky. The sunlight reflected off everywhere I looked, and seems at least twenty percent brighter..

I had no idea how Dad worked here.

“Hello?” I poked inside to find it somewhat easier to see. There were still sparkles everywhere, but they were dimmer and didn’t hurt to look at. There were very few guards, though, and that felt weird to me.

Whenever Dad had taken me to work in Canterlot, there’d been a lot of guards—even at night. They were everywhere in Canterlot. Paired up at doors. Patrolling the halls. Flying about to deliver messages. Here, there were just the two guards at the entrance and the occasional friendly face walking the many halls.

Speaking of the many, many halls, I seemed to be a little lost

Fidgeting, I had to wander several halls before I stumbled upon another guard. Like all the others, he smiled and waved. That was another thing that weirded me out. Everypony knew the best guards were stoic as statues on duty.

“Umm… excuse me, sir,” I squeaked, giving a shaky salute.

“Why, hello there, little miss.” He bent down slightly to be on my level. “I’m guessing you’re Tempered Mettle’s filly? Are you looking for your dad?”

I squirmed a little, but held the salute. “No, sir! I’m here for my first day in the Junior Guard, sir!”

The guard chuckled. “Well, aren’t you adorable. I take it you got lost trying to get to the training yard?”

“Sir, yes, sir!” My tail flicked.

“Call me Steel.” The guard— Steel stood up. “Sir makes me sound old, and Steel Shield is just a mouthful.”

“Alright… Steel….” I bit my lip. “I’m Nightingale.”

“A beautiful name for an adorable little filly.” Steel smiled before waving at me to walk with him. “Come on, then. I’ll take you to the training yard.”

“So, umm… what do you do around here, sir?” It was rather easy for me to keep pace with him.

“Hey. I told you not to call me sir!” He grinned at me.

“S-sorry, sir— I mean, Steel.” This was so weird. Dad had always insisted I call him sir when he was on duty.

“Well, I may not be Shining Armor, but I’m pretty good at shield spells, if I do say so myself.” Steel puffed out his chest a bit. “I was selected for this post with exactly that in mind.”

He started to gaze into the distance. “And with Princess Twilight’s help, I’m even better than before. She really goes out of her way to help us all, you know. The Dawn Guard may be a small unit, but I’d trust everypony here with my life, and I’m pretty sure everypony else would say the same.”

He smiled down at me. “Maybe you’ll join us one day? I’m sure your Mom and Dad would love to show you the ropes.”

“Maybe….” I squirmed. “I was thinking of trying to get in Luna’s personal guard.”

“Bah!” Steel waved a hoof. “The Canterlot Division are all stuffy, stone-cold statues. We’re all much more friendly. Your parents made the right call transferring here.”

I frowned, but said nothing. I knew for a fact that some of Dad’s guard buddies were much more than stone-cold statues.

“Anyways, here we are!” We turned a corner to find another hallway exactly like all the others. “Third door down on your right leads to the training yard.”

“Thank you, sir!” I galloped to and through the door. The other girls were already there waiting for me, while a number of other fillies and colts chatted in groups.

“Hey, Night! You finally made it!” Scoots was stretching her legs. “Figured you’d be the first of us here.”

“I got a little lost.” I ruffled my wings. “Is there really this many ponies joining?” I looked around the room. “Ponyville doesn’t strike me as a very guard heavy town.”

“We aren’t,” Silver sighed. “None of these ponies know what they’re getting into.”

“Umm…” I fidgeted. “No offense, but do you?”

“My uncle Silver Sword does something or other with the guard.” Silver shrugged. “He’s told me a few stories—stories I told Diamond and she refuses to believe.”

“I’m sure they don’t make you run that much.” Diamond waved her hoof dismissively.

“Oh, they do.” I began stretching like Scootaloo. “At least, the Canterlot Division did. They used to pass by my bedroom each morning as I was getting ready for bed.”

“The only thing Diamond is used to running is her mouth,” Silver Spoon quipped.

Diamond blanched. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

“What are talking about?” Sweetie tilted her head to the side.

“They’re gonna make us run laps around Ponyville!” Diamond danced from hoof to hoof—her statement drawing looks from the other fillies and colts.

“Well, they’re going to work us up to that.” I rolled my shoulders, continuing to limber up. “We’ll also be getting community service and get lessons in proper posture.”

“What kind of cruel and unusual torment is that?! Rainbow Dash said we’d be fighting each other.” Scoots had stopped stretching to stare at me.

Actually, everypony was staring at me now, and it was making my stomach start to churn.

“Well, yes, we will be sparring.” I squirmed only slightly. “But that’s only part of the job. I mean, the Junior Guard is supposed to be preparing us for the actual guard. You didn’t think all guards were naturally that stoic, right? You’ve met my Mom and Dad, Scoots. They’re completely different ponies on and off duty.”

“I am starting to regret this decision already,” Diamond whimpered. “I didn’t think Silver was serious. Do we have to do this?”

Several of the other fillies and colts were hastily edging towards the door.

“Aww, it’s not that bad,” I pouted. “It’s only the jog that happens every day, and it’s early in the morning like a paper route. It hardly gets in the way of anything! And the the rest of the work is only once a week! Besides, in exchange we’re getting some of the actual guard basics! The sparring wouldn’t matter without proper endurance or discipline.”

“And foals actually like this?” Diamond pouted right back.

“I like it!” I snorted. “Come on! At least try it with me! You all got me really excited when you said you’d join!”

“Well, I’m game.” Apple Bloom began to stretch. “Can’t be any more difficult than helping out on the farm. Scoots, you in?”

“Hay, yeah! Rainbow said this was a cool idea! Sweetie?” Scootaloo pumped her hoof in the air.

“Well, if you girls are in I guess I can do it too….” Sweetie kicked the ground.

“Uncle said it builds character.” Silver shrugged.

“Well, now I can’t say no.” Diamond huffed. “Just don’t expect any miracles.”

“Oh! Thank you!” I swept them all into a hug. “I promise you won’t regret it!”

“Attention!”

An older pegasus stepped into the room in full guard armor, a peytral denoting the rank of Master Sergeant. I quickly pushed the girls back to snap a salute. Back straight. Stance rigid.

Must. Not. Move.

Upon seeing me do so, some of the remaining ponies tried to follow my lead, but they all lacked the discipline to both salute and follow through. Some twitched. Some shivered. Some just had sloppy posture.

Not me, though.

As much as my wings ached to twitch, I held them still. And as much I wanted to squirm, I held firm beneath the pegasus’ gaze. The butterflies in my stomach churned, because it was time. It was a struggle to hold my breakfast in, but it was ignored in all the excitement.

Who cared what the butterflies thought? I was going to make this the best day ever.

The pegasus stood there studying us. Waiting. What was she waiting for— Oh!

“Attention!” I squeaked, stomping a hoof into the ground and reaffirming my salute. I made a quick about-face. “Fall in rank and salute, cadets!”

All the other foals stared like I’d grown a second head.

“Come on! Line up and give it your best shot! She’s waiting!” I hardly dared move again, but out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something that made my heart pound with pride—the slightest smirk on the sergeant's face.

She waited silently a few more seconds—watching the others hesitantly hop from hoof to hoof—before moving further into the room. She stopped in front of me and smiled, ruffling my mane with a hoof and breaking all my composure.

“Nice try, squirt. I wasn’t actually expecting anypony to figure it out in this little backwoods town. One of your parents in the guard here?”

Diamond sniffed at the term backwoods, and Apple Bloom scowled a little. I was still too thrown from having my mane ruffled to get back in a proper salute.

“B-both of them, m-ma’am!” My squeak lurched into a little screech with the honorific.

“Well, high speed, guess who’s just inherited the responsibility to lead these ponies!” the sergeant laughed. “Line up and salute, cadets! You heard your platoon leader, didn’t you?!”

Everypony hastened to comply this time: scrambling to fall into line in front of me and giving shaky salutes. I blinked dumbly for a moment, before remembering to do so myself. My tail twitched this time, however, as the butterflies in my stomach started whipping up a storm.

Platoon leader? Me? Oh, no, no, no. I was expecting somepony else—Apple Bloom, maybe. Sure, I knew what to do, but that didn’t mean I could lead. It’s not like anypony listened to me when I tried to get everypony in line, did they? Why me?!

“Ease up there, soldier.” The pegasus was smiling knowingly at me. “We’re all here to learn—even you. Are you that uncomfortable being a leader?”

“W-well, not uncomfortable exactly, but…” I wanted to squirm so badly.

“Just give it a chance,” she soothed. “You were the only one who instinctively saluted when I called for it, and you were the one to call for falling into ranks first—not me. If you really don’t like it, I’ll give it to somepony else, but just a few minutes of watching all of you showed me you’re best suited for the job.”

She was being so… nice about things. Dad never told me what to do if the training officers were nice. I couldn’t help but shuffle from hoof to hoof as I struggled to voice a response.

“I— I don’t—”

“We believe in you, Night!”

I blinked, and turned to stare at the other crusaders beside me. They’d all called out in chorus—a dissonant chorus, but they’d tried—and had turned to give me their salutes. They were shaky and poor postured and hardly anything to be inspired by, but I couldn’t help but swell at the sight.

Snapping back to a salute, I addressed the mare in front of me. “Bat Platoon reporting for duty, ma’am!”

The pegasus grinned and nodded. “Excellent! I’m Sunny Smiles, retired master sergeant of the solar guard, and it’s my pleasure to whip you all into shape. It takes a lot to make it into any of the various guards, but those of you who stick with your Junior Guard Division will find yourselves having an edge when it comes time to enlist.”

Her grin momentarily turned into a stormy scowl. “I’ll be honest. This isn’t a game. We let you have fun, but it’s expected that you’ll be working hard for it. I fully expect some of you will drop, and I can already see a few got cold feet and left before I arrived. Make sure you know what you’re getting into now, and ask your platoon leader any questions you have on how we do things when time permits.”

A colt raised his hoof and was promptly ignored.

“First, though, we’re going for a jog.” Sergeant Sunny Smiles grinned a very evil grin, and I suppressed a shiver. “Twenty laps around the castle grounds or until you drop—whichever is first. I need to know what I’m dealing with here, and the best way to do that in one go is pushing you above and beyond your limits.”





Sweetie Belle was the first to drop. Not an athlete by any means, it was easy to see it coming. Still, she made it farther than I expected. It filled me with determination.

On and on, we ran. A filly dropped here. A colt dropped there.

Every time, Sergeant Sunny Smiles would promptly swoop in and airlift them to a sweet and shady tent set up by the front of the castle. The rest of us would tromp on by to see them sipping apple juice. They’d cheer and wave – egging us on – and I’d pick up my pace just a little at the sight.

Must. Not. Falter.

Princess Twilight and the Elements of Harmony themselves had come to watch, and I refused to let them or my friends down. I flapped my wings as we passed them again, providing a bit of breeze to my sweat-soaked barrel as I repeated what Dad told me over and over.

Inhale through your nose for six steps. Exhale through your mouth for two. Long steady wing beats to match.

Lift for six steps. Push for two. Circulate the air to keep cool and provide just enough air lift to ease the work on my legs.

Keep a good pace. Save the sprint for the last lap.

I could do this. My legs were only just starting to lightly tingle with the good burn, and we were already half done.

Diamond and Silver were next—somewhere in their eleventh lap. They might have been earth ponies, but their extra stamina could only help so much. Diamond in particular had been scrambling to keep up, almost crawling near the end until she finally gave up.

I was passing by on my thirteenth lap at the time, and I smiled and nodded to her in recognition. I couldn’t afford to call out and waste my breath, but she seemed to take it all the same. She woozily waved to me as Sergeant Sunny landed to pick her up.

I pushed on, and—by my sixteenth lap—my legs were really starting to ache. I’d had to stop beating my wings from the cramps two laps ago, and now I was really feeling the burn.

Scoots was lagging behind, about to fall as I finally lapped her. She’d started with a sprint and it showed now that she was trying to pace herself. Despite the fact that she was more athletic than me, she was gasping for breath, and I smiled apologetically as I passed her. I had thought if anypony else would make it to the end, it’d be Bloom and her.

At least Apple Bloom was still in the running. She’d been pacing herself from the beginning like me, and was still going strong. The burning in my limbs grew stronger whenever I glanced back at her, though. She might have been covered in a sweat-soaked sheen, but she was barely panting compared to me and the only other colt still going.

Stupid earth pony stamina.

Finally, I made it through the last lap. I was gasping for breath—Dad’s words of wisdom lost and forgotten at some point. My legs were inflamed with the fire of a thousand suns, and I was itchy and cramped and smelly. There was the perpetual taste of salt in my mouth from all the sweat, and I sometimes swore there was two or three extra Suns out between the small spots in my vision and the heat that burned in my everything.

“Did—” I staggered into the tent, unable to finish the thought as I downed an entire juice box in one go. Right in my mouth, box and all.

Schlurp!

Unsatisfied with mere apple juice—no, watered down apple juice—I wobbled over to my bag and pulled out three boxes of Beet Positive.

Schlurp! Schlurp! Schlurp!

Three more husks joined the cardboard carcass on the ground.

“Did—” I licked my lips and still tasted salt. “Did we win the war?”

“You sure as Tartarus did, champ!” Sergeant Smiles let go of my friends, and they swarmed me in a group hug. “Even in the other divisions, it's rare for more than one pony to make it to the end. Ponyville had three! Aww, it’s a shame that I have to smash you all to pieces and build you back up!”

“What?” Several other ponies whimpered – Diamond including.

“Sergeant!” Princess Twilight scolded. “Don’t make me sick my brother on you. They aren’t actually in boot camp!”

“Aww, I know that, Princess.” The sergeant bowed. “I just got carried away is all. It’s been awhile since I had promising recruits.” She lifted her head up to smile at us all. “You have some excellent little troopers here in Ponyville.”

“Thank you, Sergeant.” The Princess ruffled her wings, somewhat mollified.

“Now then.” Sergeant Sunny Smiles smiled sinisterly. “I believe we’ll call it here for today, Cadets. I don’t want you going too far or anything, but I do have one last little assignment for you.

A collection of bags and trash stickers were pulled out from beneath one of the tables.

“You all made quite a mess with the juice boxes while cheering your friends on. Good guards don’t litter. They are clean and efficient in everything they do. Hopefully, picking all the trash you left out will help instill that into you.”

A chorus of groans rose up from everypony.

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Sergeant Smiles made sure to give me a bag before anypony else. “I honestly could have done something way worse.” Her grin widened. “I mean, Pinkie Pie herself volunteered to bake a cake for the foal who collects the most.”

Like lightning, everypony was off collecting juices boxes.

I looked from my bag to Pinkie Pie to everypony else.

“Yeah, no.” I picked up my own juice boxes and proceeded to find a nice tree to hang from. Only Sergeant Smiles saw the proud smile that crept onto my face as I walked off, giving me a little wink when nopony else was looking.
> Frostbitten, Twice Shy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Screeheeheeheehee!”

I stood atop the battlements and laughed in the face of death. Ordinance whipped past me as our enemies laid siege to our mighty bastion—our pitiful foes blinded to the true glory of our crusade.

“Uhh… Night?” Apple Bloom poked me in a most insubordinate fashion. “Y’alright there? You’ve kinda just been cackling for the last five minutes without throwing a single shot.”

“You dare question your thestral overlord!!” I looked down just in time for a snowball to pass right through where my head had been. Flecks of snow and ice flaked off it, hitting the back of my neck.

“The enemy is at the gates! Send them back, my minions, back to whence they came!” I bared my fangs in a manic grin before standing up once more.

“Screeheehee-heeep!”

I was dragged into the trenches as a barrage of snowballs came right at me.

“Oi, ya batty mare! Will you be quiet, already!” The distinctive accent of Pipsqueak came out from the enemy fortifications. “We love ya ta pieces, lass, but yer making our bloody ears bleed!”

“Heh…” I grinned at Apple Bloom, kneading the snow in front of me as she scowled at me. “It was psychological warfare?”

“Don’t give me no guard mumbo jumbo.” Apple Bloom stuck her tongue out at me. “Yer lucky I wasn’t throwing snowballs at you too.”

“Right, well….” I began to pack the snow at my feet into fine frozen ammo. “I guess it’s time to get to it, then.”

Finishing my work, I sat still—ears twitching—and the soft thwumping of snowballs hitting the barricades washed over me. Occasionally a pony would giggle after a successful hit, while their target would squeak from the cold. Beneath it all, however, I was trying to find a certain sound. If I could just find the soft shuffling from—

There!

I peeked over our fortifications and whipped a snowball towards an empty spot in the enemy line. Just as a colt popped up to throw his own missile, my own smacked him in the face.

Score! I popped back down before anypony could take advantage of me poking above our defenses.

“How did you…” Apple Bloom looked between me and the enemy—peering through one of the arrow slits I’d insisted on including.

“I heard him start to stand up, so I stood up and fired first!” I waggled my ears. “Dad’ll be so proud!”

“Well, that’s nifty.” Apple Bloom blinked. “You just keep doing that, then.”

She craned her head around. “Hey, Scoots! How are you and Sweetie holding up?!

“We’re wet, but good!” Scootaloo hollered back. “One of the walls kinda collapsed on us, but at least we won’t run out of snow for snowballs anytime soon!”

“Well, we’re not!” Diamond wailed. “Half the class is focusing me and Silver! We’re sitting ducks here!”

“You got this front?” I looked to Apple Bloom.

“Well, it ain’t like you’ve been doing much.” Apple Bloom waved her hoof.

Nodding to her, I hunkered down and began to crawl through the trenches to one of the other barricades. They were narrow passages—hastily made due to time constraints—but I could wiggle through unseen and safe if I kept low. I had to wiggle more at some times than others, as the passage would occasionally lean in from improper packing, but it wasn’t so—

I shivered as both walls of ice scraped at my wings and barrel.

Alright, maybe it was bad at times. The others really needed to learn how to build a proper snow fort.

Extra narrow trenches. Collapsing walls. Next they’d be telling me the citadel housed an abandoned secret tunnel to the school house or some such nonsense—something our foes could use to sneak inside and wreck havoc from within.

I poked my head into the Diamond Brigade’s barricade, only to be yoinked into an icy embrace.

“Oh, thank Celestia. We’re saved!” Diamond squeezed me with the grip of Death herself—her coat dripping with slush.

“She can’t save us if you choke her, Diamond.” Silver failed to hide a small smile. “I’ve… uh, never seen you hug another pony so tightly.”

“Oh… sorry.” Diamond dropped me.

“It’s alright.” I resisted the urge to shake myself dry. “Now report the situation.”

There was a rapid thwumping as a series of snowballs slammed into the walls.

“That! That’s our problem!” Diamond huddled into me. “Like half the school set up their bases on our end, and they’ve been pelting us nonstop!”

The thwumping continued steadily.

“They ruined my mane, my coat, and even my hooficure!” Diamond shoved her hoof in my face. “Look! I used extra waterproof hoof polish today and they still managed to ruin it!”

“Okay.” I wrapped my wings around her until she stopped shivering. “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to wait for them to run out of ammo, and then we’re going to pop up and hit them right before they begin firing again. You got that?”

They both nodded.

“Good.” I bared my fangs in a grin. “Now follow my lead.”

I sat—back to the wall—and began packing snowballs until they were extra firm. They wouldn’t cause any real harm, but nopony focused down my troops and got away with it.

Passing them out to Diamond and Silver, I motioned for them to wait. Together we waited for the thwumping to end. And then, when it finally did—

All enemy fire ceased, and I strained my ears to the limits.

Wait for it….

Wait for it….

There!

“Fire!”

I popped up and threw with all my strength. Diamond and Silver did likewise, throwing their snowballs right towards where I’d thrown my own. Then, right on cue, a group of unicorn fillies popped up to throw, and my shot hit one squarely in the face.

“Eeep!” She jumped in shock and went right into the path of Diamond and Silver’s shots—Diamond’s hitting her right on the horn.

“Ahh!”

There went the gathering of snowballs she’d been levitating, right onto her friends—causing them to drop their snowballs. They were probably as wet, if not wetter, than Diamond and Silver now.

“Score!” I squeaked.

Unfortunately, I savored victory for too long. The combined firepower from the other forts turned on me before I could get back down, and blasted me to the back of our battlements. There I dripped on the ground, stars swirling around my head as Diamond and Silver ran up to me.

“Why didn’t you duck?” Diamond nudged me.

“Even we knew to duck.” Silver pulled me to my hooves.

“Oh. It. Is. So. On.” I stumbled a bit, shaking my head, before grinning like a loon under moon. “Do either of you girls have anything that’ll work as ear plugs in your bags?”

“I have earmuffs?” Diamond offered.

“Not good enough on their own.” I pulled at their scarves. “These might work if we mix them with earmuffs, though.”

“What are you going to do?” Diamond cocked her head to the side as I began wrapping the scarf around her ears.

“I’m going on a frontal assault!” The thwumping of snowballs momentarily ceased as my shout carried over the schoolyard.

“Pardon my Pip, but you’re absolutely batty!” Diamond stomped a hoof. “You’re crazy if you think that will work.” She stood fuming for a few seconds before Silver snickered.

“Batty, Diamond?”

“What?” Diamond sniffed, pointing her snoot upwards. “It’s just a turn of phrase.”

“Trust me, girls.” I giggled. “Now, can one of you empty your bags for me? Mine are back with Apple Bloom, and it’ll waste precious time to go back and get them.”

“My hoof-crafted designer saddle bags?!” Diamond scoffed.

Silver sighed. “Here. Take mine. I stopped bringing anything fancy with me awhile ago. Too hard to get all the tree sap out.”

“Thanks!” I emptied Silver’s stuff into Diamond’s bag, and then started loading the bags with snowballs. “You ready?”

“What?!”

I looked up to see the two of them—heads wrapped in scarves and earmuffs clamped down. Sighing, I gestured for them to briefly remove the ear wear.

“You ready? I’m going to need cover fire.”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am!” They snapped their earmuffs back in place and saluted.

“I’m not a—” I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. Can’t hear me.”

“What?!” They shouted and I sighed.

After waiting for the massive hail of snowy ordinance to falter once more, I signaled Diamond and Silver and jumped over the battlements.

“Screeeee!” I screeched as everypony pulled up to throw their next salvo. Nearly everypony flinched, and the ones who didn’t lost their aim, throwing wide. Unicorn telekinesis faltered—failing completely as Diamond and Silver began to lay into the enemy’s ranks.

No horn shots necessary. I was just that loud.

I rushed across the field, continuing my auditory assault, and leaped behind the nearest enemy fort.

“Horseapples!” A colt swore, letting go of his ears to scramble for a snowball. “Rumble! Pip! We’re under—”

Snowball to the snoot!

I pelted him and his partner mercilessly until they ran up and out of their hidey-hole. After they were gone, I stopped to catch my breath, ears flicking to catch any sound of their return. Restocking from their snowball collection, I took a deep breath before leaping from concealment.

Instantly, a barrage of snowballs hurtled toward me.

“Screeeee! Revenge is a dish best served cold!”

Most faltered as they threw again, but several stayed on target. I was forced to dodge and weave, propelling myself in great leaps as I flapped my wings. Each thrust kicked up billowing snow clouds to further block me from sight as my ears tracked the positions of enemy fortifications from their panicked shrieks.

“Hit her! Hit her before she gets here!”

“Where even is she?! I can’t see her!”

“D-did she retreat?!”

I snickered under my breath before leaping over the next barricade to repeat my ruthless assault.

“Ahh! Snow demon!” One of the fillies didn’t even wait before bolting, and her friends didn’t take much more convincing.

Rinse and repeat. I slowly worked my way through the enemy encampment surrounding us.

“The horror! The horror!”

“Run for your lives! There’s no stopping her!”

“Stand your ground and fight! It’s just one filly!”

“Ahh! No! I take it back! This filly is nuts! Anywhere but there! Eeep!”

“Screeeeee!”

For the rest of recess, I hunted them all mercilessly. No remorse. No regret. No—

Brrrring!

“Oh, cool! Recess is done!” I chirped. Popping out of the little bunker I was currently hiding in, I ran for the school house. “See you all inside!”

Everypony else—sans the crusaders, who stared at me with their mouths agape—continued to lie there, groaning and shivering.

“It’s so cold….”

“I can’t feel my frogs….”

“What is she, a windigo?”

“Guys?” I looked back at the rest of the class, cocking my head. “Guys? Are you alright?” I kneaded the snow with one hoof. “I know I kinda went all commando on you, but—”

One last snowball hit me square in the face. My glasses ripped free from the force, and I immediately resisted the urge to blink the snow from my eyes. Having seen how much moonlight the snow could reflect back in Canterlot, I shivered at the thought of glimpsing a snowy field as the sun glared down upon us.

“My glasses! My glasses!” I hunkered down, sending out small clicks as I scrambled for the familiar plastic. My ears flicked as they picked up the returning echoes of my voice, but the results were muddied from the soft, powdery snow.

“Real smooth, Rumble,” Diamond Tiara growled somewhere off to my side—the crunching of snow signaling the crusaders’ approach. “What are you trying to do? Blind her?!” There was a loud huff, and I could just imagine the new heights her muzzle was reaching.

“Aww, don’t be that way, Diamond. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. Right?” I could hear Apple Bloom’s brow creaking upward as it arched.

“No, I didn’t. Sor—”

“Sorry don’t cut it!” Scoots buzzed her wings. “Everypony else managed to avoid her glasses!”

I was pulled—half-roughly, half-gently—to my hooves.

“Here….” Sweetie settled my glasses back on my head. “Better?”

I hesitantly opened my eyes to see Sweetie Belle beaming at me. Honestly, the sun paled in comparison. “Yes?”

“Good.” I twitched at the cheery voice that suddenly came from right behind me. “I’d hate for one of my students to be hurt, after all. Now is everypony coming inside?”

“Yes, Miss Cherilee…” most of the class groaned from their spots on the ground.

“Umm…” I hesitated, licking my lips, “...Miss Cheerilee? How long have you been there?”

“Oh, I’ve been watching since your little snow war began!” she giggled. “I didn’t really have anything to grade today.”

“So you saw everything?” I gulped, shuffling from hoof to hoof.

“Mhmm.” She nodded.

“So you know about the screeching?” My eyes were locked on my hooves, still dripping from outside.

“There might have been some ponies in Manehattan that didn’t hear you, Nightingale.”

“And what did Dad tell you about it?” I squirmed.

“That it was to be used for emergencies only.” She patted my withers. “I’d say being outnumbered four to one counts as an emergency, though. Wouldn’t you?”

“What?” I sneaked a peak upward to see her beaming down at me.

“I can’t begrudge you a little fun.” Cheerilee winked with a little smirk. “But it won’t be my fault if news gets back to your parents anyways. You were quite loud.”

“Heh…” I kicked the ground. “Sorry?”

“Oh, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Night.” She chimed with that special cheer all teachers seemed to possess. “Now, inside you go! All the others are waiting!”

I quickly ran inside, a small smile on my face.





The girls and I ran into Sugarcube Corner and began to shake ourselves dry.

“Brrrr! That wind’s cold!” Apple Bloom’s bow drooped with dampness.

“It’s not that bad.” Scootaloo flicked slush everywhere.

“Eeep!” Diamond squealed as Scoots sprinkled on her. “Aim it somewhere that’s not on us, featherbrain!”

“Please do,” Silver deadpanned. “Also, pegasi cheat. It’s not that bad for you because your coat is thicker than ours for all that flying you never do.”

“Hey!” Scoots fluffed up her chest and splayed her wings. “You take that back!”

“Girls....” I squirmed.

“Well, it’s true.” Diamond didn’t quite sneer, but her face made Scoots and I flinch.

“Girls….” I ruffled my wings and tried again.

“Aww, come on, Diamond. No reason to be so snippy.” Apple Bloom stepped between us all. “I mean, unless ya want us calling you on yer own past problems.”

This time Diamond flinched, briefly glancing at me before shrinking under Scoot’s glare. “Sorry, Scootaloo….”

“Whatever,” Scootaloo huffed and walked towards the counter. “Hey, Pinkie! A round of six extra hot chocolates on DT’s tab!”

“Already on it!” The baker was a whirlwind of motion even when standing still—juggling six mugs even as she cleaned them.

Did she… did she have six hooves?

Two for juggling, two for cleaning, and two for standing? Maybe she was just floating behind the counter.

“Sorry about that,” Sweetie mumbled to me as we all headed over to a table. “I know their arguing can be a bit…”

“Yeah…” I agreed, not needing to hear the rest.

We sat in the corner booth, shivering and silent. Our faces ranged from thoughtful frowns to scowls as the frigid misery from outside howled against the walls.

“Well, if you’re all gonna be like this…” I squirmed as I fought to free my wings from my side. “All together now, troops!” Extending my wings out, I managed to stretch them around everypony and pull them into a huddled mass.

“Ah! What are you doing, Night?!” Scoots wriggled.

“Besides pulling a muscle?” I shifted slightly to try and ease the tension in my back. “Well, I’m sharing all our body heat so you’ll all stop moping.”

“I’m not moping!” Diamond huffed.

“Oh, yes you are,” I growled, showing all my teeth. “And, as your platoon leader, I’m ordering you all to stop. Let’s just relax and tell stories if we can’t play outside.”

“Make me!” Scoots wiggled some more.

“I can, and I will!” I felt a painful twinge as I pulled everypony in closer.

“Bite me!” She continued to resist, leaving me no other choice.

Stretching my neck out, I nipped Scootaloo in the ear.

“Ow!” Scoots stopped to look at me for a moment before giggling. “Okay, really? Alright. Alright. I’ll behave.” She squirmed into a more comfortable position. “Freakin’ bat ponies.”

“That’s thestrals!” I squeaked, pulling everypony closer still. We all shivered in much more companionable silence until the hot chocolate arrived.

“Oh, you’re all just the cutest little—” Pinkie squeed, a slight bit of foam at her mouth.

Wait. No. That was just whipped cream.

“Here you go!” Six mugs—frothing with cream and sprinkles—were set before us. Pinkie quickly pulled a camera out of her mane and snapped a picture. Pronking away, she somehow failed to spill a single drop of her own mug, all while humming Hearth’s Warming carols.

“How is she so…” I trailed off.

“It’s Pinkie.” Apple Bloom took a sip of her drink and I felt the warmth of it radiate from her to me. “Just don’t worry about it.”

“She’s just so… Pink.” I sipped my own hot chocolate and hummed, wings almost fluttering.

“Hey! Careful with the wings!” Diamond huffed. “You’ll let the heat out!”

“Sorry.” I grinned. “This hot chocolate is just so good, though.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t matter if you slip up!” she sniffed. “Your wings make a great blanket, you know?”

I giggled. “Yes, Diamond, I know.”

“Good.” Diamond leaned into me. “Because starting today you’re our official wing hugger. I swear, we could probably sell these at school.”

“Please don’t.” I squirmed slightly.

“Mhmm…” Sweetie stared into her mug. “Definitely better than normal hugs.” She looked to Scootaloo. “Why is this the first time I’m getting one?!”

“First off, hugs are sappy. Second, have you seen my wings? I don’t have wings the size of elephants like Night here.” Scoots buzzed her wings in irritation, and I snorted at the ticklish sensation.

“Snerk!” Scalding, bubbly hot chocolate sprayed from my nose all over the table. “Ahahahaaah!” I thankfully avoided searing anypony other than myself.

“Ow! Oh, that burns!” I massaged my muzzle with both my forehooves. “Give a little warning before you do that, Scootaloo. Scoots?”

The pegasus grinned mischievously.

“Don’t you d—”

My growls devolved into howls of laughter as I tried not to spill more hot chocolate.

I failed most spectacularly—showering all of my friends thoroughly—and several hours later we left Sugarcube Corner hot, sticky, and grinning like loons.

My wings were cramped as Tartarus, and there were a few spots dotting my coat where the fur had been yanked out when we pulled apart, but I couldn’t help but laugh.
> Something Sweet to Bite
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looking in the mirror, I carefully snapped my horn into place.

The cone-shaped cardboard had an elastic band to keep it snug on my forehead, while the small gem in the tip had been enchanted to glow dimly in the night. My peytral and crown smelled of paint and were obsidian black; my flank had been splattered with ink. I squirmed as Mom painted a moon on my flank, giggling occasionally as her wings tickled me.

“You need to stop fidgeting if you want an accurate cutie mark, little moon.” Mom redipped her wing in the coat dye.

“Mrgmmf! I’m trying to!” My tail flicked as she began on my other side. “It’s just really hard not to.”

“Well, Princess Luna doesn’t have a zigzag for a cutie mark,” she giggled. “My little filly as a princess with her guard. How did you rope the others into this crazy scheme?”

“I promised them most of my candy.” I smiled.

“Oh? So you plan to live off of all the candy-coated cockroaches and chocolate grasshoppers your Dad and I made?” Mom put a little extra oomph into her wing work.

“Mrgmmf— Heeheeheehaa!” I fought a losing battle to keep still. “M-maybe. I-it’s not like anypony but us and Pinkie Pie will eat them.”

“You know that Princess Luna loves them.” Mom grinned. “Princess Twilight does too, though she hates to admit it.”

“Pfft!” I stuck my tongue out. “Like the princesses would ever come to visit.”

“Well, there’s already two princesses in the house.” Dad chuckled deeply as he stepped into my room. “One of them said something about needing to gobble up little imposters.”

“Is Princess Luna really here?” I squinted suspiciously.

“She is, indeed. Says she wanted to check up on us.” Dad ruffled his wings and puffed out his chest. “I always knew I was her favorite.”

“If she’s here to steal you back from me, she’s got another thing coming.” Mom lightly swatted Dad with a dye-covered wing. “We both agreed the move to Ponyville was for the best. Besides, shouldn’t you be on the ground getting ready to hoof out candy instead of chatting with the princess?”

“I should, but it’s been far too long since the princess ordered me to chat.” He grinned, walking up to pat me on my withers. “I also wanted to see Night before the others got here. You look great, sweetie, and if anypony says otherwise you just smack them in the kisser.”

“He means ignore them.” Mom waved Dad away with her wings and a kiss. “I don’t want you getting in any fights.”

“We got in fights all the time,” Dad pouted at the door.

“You mean you picked fights you couldn’t win.” Mom covered her mouth and giggled. “I’m not sure which was worse: all the times you dragged me into one of your messes, or whenever you thought you could actually beat me.”

“How about the time I finally managed to beat you?” Eyebrows waggled as my dad gave another grin.

Giggles became outright laughter. “I let you win that time, silly. Losing was its own reward.”

“Why would you ever want to lose a sparring match?” I squeaked, looking up at Mom with my head cocked to the side.

“Well, Night,” Mom whispered awful loudly, “sometimes you’ll meet a colt who thinks he’s the hottest thing since the sun itself. He’ll strut about, squawking like a peacock, and you’ll just have put him in his place.”

“Like you did with Dad.” I giggled.

“Yes, just like that,” Mom agreed. “This colt will never learn his lesson—”

“Hey!” Dad snickered. “I resent that!”

Mom chuckled, pulling me closer with her clean wing. “He’ll never seem to learn his lesson—even if you stomp it into him so much he knows it by heart—and one day that might make you take things too far.”

She hummed. “When that happens, it’ll be for the best if you just suck it up and lose for once.”

“Why, though?” I pouted. “What sort of reward could there possibly be for losing?”

“Well…” Mom hesitated. “It ended up making your father my very special somepony.”

“Yeah, I figured that much.” I squirmed a little in the hug. “But how does that even work?”

“You’ll find out when you’re older,” Dad rumbled. “For now, let’s just say it has to do with how boy cooties and girl cooties interact with each other.”

“Wait! You mean cooties are real?!” My eyes widened. “You told me I was just being silly! And Sergeant Smiles always makes me spar with Rumble on Sundays! I don’t want to get infected!”

There was a roar of laughter from Dad.

“Not in the sense you’re thinking, Night.” Mom ruffled my mane. “You’ll learn all about it a couple years from now. For now, you should just enjoy Nightmare Night.”

“Lame,” I pouted, crossing my forelegs only to jump up as the doorbell rang

“They’re here!” I bolted through the house, grabbed my saddlebags, and prepared to jump out the door.

“Aha! So there is an imposter! Thine backside shall be mine to gobble, thou ungrateful whelp!”

I froze momentarily before turning to take in the grinning princess of the night. She pulled a candy-coated cockroach from the bowl on the coffee table without breaking eye contact with me. She tore into it with a crunch that left flecks of sugar and bugbits dotting her muzzle in a most unprincessly way.

Resisting the urge to take a step back as she moved forward, I saluted instead. “Princess Luna, forgive me! I thought my Dad was joking!”

Princess Luna blinked, face scrunching as she licked her lips clean and bent her head down to look at me. “Oh, sweet, little Nightingale. It’s always so adorable to watch you try to emulate my faithful guard, but it ruins all the fun if you fight the fright tonight of all nights.”

“But there’s nothing to be afraid of, Princess!” I kept as still as I could.

Princess Luna arched a brow. “Your quivering hind leg begs to differ.”

Well, I tried to keep as still as I could. The crunch of candy still filled my ears like breaking bones as I imagined Nightmare Moon biting into my backside.

Stupid, silly, ungrateful imagination.

Princess Luna was best princess, and it was an insult to her majesty to compare her to that monster. I was— I was going to—

There! Finally got my leg to stop!

I was going to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid, like quiver or run or cry.

She gazed into my eyes, humming. “Hmmm… yes… you really are as devoted as your father is, aren’t you? You will make a fine addition to my guard someday.”

It took every bit of will I had to not hop up and down in circles screeing my glee to the stars.

The doorbell rang again, and Luna dismissed me with a wave of her hoof. “Fie! Go! Have fun with your friends, and earn a worthy tribute for me!”

“As you command, Princess!” I squeaked, turning to leap through the door and glide in a circle to the porch. I managed to land before my excitement overwhelmed me, and I giddily began hopping in a circle.

“Screeheeheeheeheeheehee! Yes!”

The others flinched as I leapt about them, ears splaying to try and mute me. Ignoring their discomfort, I shrieked to the moon above. As I did so, however, I noticed the glow from the gem in my horn was reflecting off most of their armor.

“Screeheeheehee?”

I trailed to a stop, blinking. My eye narrowed as I beheld four suits of reflective, light grey armor and one spiky, charcoal one. The other crusaders peeked out of closed eyes, one by one, to find me glaring at them with all the power and grace of Luna my costume bestowed unto me.

“You’re all in Solar Guard costumes.” I definitely did not pout.

“I’m not!” Diamond crowed, strutting forward with her snoot held high. Looking back over her shoulder as she reached me, she frowned. “I told you all it mattered, but no. You all thought I was over obsessing!”

“Well, shoot, y’all.” Apple Bloom scratched the back of her head. “I think we done messed this up.”

“Probably should have coordinated with Night more.” Sweetie Belle nodded.

“Pfft! It isn’t that bad!” Scoots waved a hoof. “At least the others talked me out of a Wonderbolts costume. They are part of the military, so I could have just—”

“You’re not helping, Scoots.” Silver stuck a hoof in the pegasus’ mouth before hastily pulling it away. “Eww! Don’t lick me!”

“I’ll lick you if I want to!” Scoots shot back.

“Girls!” I huffed and the others fell silent, looking at me. “There’s no point in arguing over this. I thought I was obvious enough, but, clearly, I wasn’t. Did you think I was going as Celestia or something?”

“Hay, no.” Scoots waved a hoof. “What do we look like? Idiots? You just said we needed to go as members of the royal guard.”

“But why would a Solar Guard be—” I sucked in a deep breath. “Sorry. Sorry. I’ll just drop it, okay?” I shuffled from hoof to hoof. “This… does kind of mean you’ll get less candy than I promised, though.”

A series of groans came from everypony but Diamond.

She just put a hoof around me and grinned wickedly. “Not me, though. Right?”

“No, not you.” I smiled. “In fact, you get extra candy.”

“Yes!” Diamond thrust a hoof in the air. “I mean—” she sniffed, quickly composing herself in a salute, “—Thank you, my Princess of the Night!”

Silver Spoon nudged Scootaloo with her hoof. “She’s definitely looking for something sweet to bite.”

Diamond tittered as I nodded, and we all gathered ourselves for a fun filled crusade of pushing doorbells and getting candy.





The door creaked open to reveal the majesty of Princess Luna and her contingent of not-quite lunar guard. Trumpets—or rather a trumpet—blew while hoof stomps and fanfare announced our glory to Mister Waddlesworth.

Lowering the trumpet from her lips, my faithful herald, Diamond, announced my presence to the bemused stallion while the others saluted. “Behold, Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna of Equestria!”

I smiled and sucked in a breath—my escort doing likewise. “Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!”

The elderly earth pony brought his head down and squinted through his glasses. “Well, ain’t this a surprise. I haven’t had visitors all night!”

“Yeah, that’s because—”

Apple Bloom kicked Scoots.

“Does my heart good to see fillies running out and about, respecting our princesses.” Mister Waddle reached for a bowl by the door. “I tell you what, whippersnappers. If you want extra prunes, you just go and take them.”

He held out the bowl and we all took one. As he started to frown at the sight, I shuffled slightly and took a few more, shoving one right into my mouth. He smiled at that and patted my head before heading back inside and closing the door.

The others stared at me as I chewed and swallowed. “What? Didn’t you see him? Besides, there’s nothing wrong with prunes!”

“Sure, there’s not.” Scoots rolled her eyes.

“Oi, Rumble! Look who’s here!”

Two familiar colts in guard costumes—one lunar, one solar—trotted up to us as we were about to continue down the street. The spikes. The filigree. The darker tones. There wasn’t a pip out of place on Pipsqueak, and Rumble was similarly suited in his radiant armor. I had no idea how he got spray painted cardboard to reflect that much moonlight, but he was a glow of greys and silvers

“I see we had the same idea, lass.” Pipsqueak grinned before eyeing the other crusaders. “Well, almost. Bloody solar guard always steal the spotlight, am I right? Rumble even picked the buggers over the Wonderbolts this year. Poor sod seems to have gotten it in his head that it’ll land him a fillyfriend.”

“Eurgh….” My face scrunched as I thought of the earlier talk with my parents. Stupid colt was only a year older than me. If he wanted a fillyfriend… How much time did I have left before my cooties kicked in?

“That only works if there’s a damsel in distress, I think….” Sweetie cocked her head to the side. “Slay the dragon. Save the princess. Have a slumber party. That’s what all my sisters books say.”

“Well, we could find Spike and Twilight if ya need a dragon to slay.” Apple Bloom rubbed her chin. “I don’t think that’ll count, though.”

“Pfft!” Scoots waved a hoof dismissively. “Slaying a baby dragon doesn’t even register on the awesome scale. I think there’s a green dragon in the Everfree, though. We could go hunt that.”

“Do you three even hear yourselves?” Diamond huffed as everypony else just stared at the founding crusaders.

“Well, we’d still be missing a princess, and I doubt Twi or Princess Luna would be happy with us heading that far in the Everfree,” Apple Bloom muttered.

“And that’s assuming we can find this dragon’s cave in the first place,” Sweetie hummed.

“Well, I don’t know how we can find the dragon, but we do have a substitute princess right here.” Scootaloo looked at me pointedly.

I turned my gaze towards the patch of utter black that was the Everfree on the horizon and gulped. The lights from the town barely made a dent in it, and it was like the maw of some giant beast. Even with buildings between us and it, it formed an imposing backdrop. We’d skirted the edges plenty of times. But plunging into its depths in the middle of the night? Hunting dragons?

“Girls… you aren’t serious are you?” I kneading the ground with my forehooves.

All three blinked and looked at me. “Umm…”

I bit my lip as their hesitation grew. I swear, if they said yes and I had to go get an adult…

“...no?” Their final answer was not as comforting as it should have been, and there was a rather awkward silence following it.

“Anyways!” Pip broke the spell when he hastily came up and wrapped a hoof around me. “Us Junior Guard need to stick together! Care if we join your escort, Princess?”

“I’d be up for guarding a princess.” Rumble saluted me with a cocky grin. “Not that she needs it.”

“W-well, I… uh…” I squirmed in Pipsqueak’s grip.

I didn’t want to say no, but I also really didn’t want to say yes. Pipsqueak was nice enough, but Rumble was just so...

“I think we’re alright, you two.” Apple Bloom came to my rescue.

Rumble frowned, which made me frown in kind. His wings were flaring a little, so I pulled away from Pip and set myself in a wider stance. His wings flared more—expanding completely—and he pawed at the ground with one hoof. He opened his mouth to say something, kinda scowled when nothing came out, and finally sighed.

“This isn’t the place….” He pulled Pip away from us. “Come on, Pip. The platoon leader is clearly in one of her moods.”

“Oi! We can still—”

Rumble shoved a hoof in the pinto colt’s mouth. “Really, Pip, it’s fine. Let’s just go.”

They nodded to the other crusaders and trotted off. My ear twitched as they started to whisper to each other when they made it a little bit into the distance—catching bits and pieces of the conversation.

“Sorry, mate. Not much of a wingpony, am I?”

“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have really expected anything different.”

“Well, maybe if you weren’t such a bloody tosser to her she’d have said yes. I mean, crimey, I coulda swore you two were about to start a brawl right there.”

“Hey! It’s her fault this time. I was just trying to—”

“You even listening to us, Night?” Apple Bloom poked me, causing me to squeak and flare my wings slightly. She arched an eyebrow at me. “Guess not. We’re trying to figure out which neighborhood to hit next. We already went to all the good houses in this one. Scoots, Sweetie and I want to head to Maple so we can get something from Bon Bon’s, but Diamond and Silver want Caramel’s.”

“Aren’t those both on Maple?” I flicked an ear, but Rumble and Pip had fallen out of range. Oh, well. The girls needed me anyways.

“Yeah, that’s kind of the problem.” Scoots rubbed the back of her head. “They’re probably the two best spots in town for candy—being candy makers and all—but that’s only because they compete for attention with each other. Whichever one we hit last will give us more to… what’s the word? Cam… com…” She stomped a hoof. “Sweetie Bell!”

“Compensate.” Sweetie giggled.

“That!” Scootaloo nodded. “Bon Bon hands out these massive chocolate bars and Caramel gives entire bags of soft caramel chews. It’s your first Nightmare Night here so it’s only fair you choose.”

Oh dear…. They wanted me to choose between them again.

“Do I have to?” I ruffled my wings and poked the ground. “Can’t we just split for a bit so everypony will be happy?”

The rest of the crusaders looked at each other, before almost simultaneously facehoofing.

“We’re bucking idiots…” Scoots groaned, putting her head in her hooves. “How did we not think of that last year? We sat and argued about it for like half and hour and never thought of that.”

“At least we’ll all get what we want this year,” Sweetie sighed. “Maybe if we use the puppy dog eyes they’ll take pity, and give us extra to make up for it.”

“I doubt it, but we can try.” Apple Bloom shook her head. “We all good with splitting for Maple Street and meeting back up afterwards?”

A chorus of agreement went up from the others while I just nodded. I looked between them as they broke up into two groups and bit my lip. Chocolate and caramel both sounded good…. I didn’t know who to go with.

They started to move off, and I just sort of stood there. Just as they noticed I wasn’t following and turned to look back, I made a decision and bolted for Diamond and Silver. As I looked at the others apologetically, they smiled and waved, so I tried to stand taller and smile back.

It was only for a little bit, after all.





My hind leg quivered slightly as the castle loomed before us.

It hauntingly reached up toward the stars—the highest points like bestial claws—as if to drag one of the beautiful lights down into its abyss. The branches were now twisted and gnarled, while the fortifications resting in the boughs had become spiked, dangling rattling chains. Windows flashed as a few drifting storm clouds occasionally spat out lightning and bats hung from the battlements.

It was very different from the castle I came to visit every Sunday.

“Huh…” Apple Bloom gazed upwards alongside me. “The paint job is new this year. I wonder how she got it done so fast.”

“Magic,” Silver deadpanned.

“Well, duh!” Scoots rolled her eyes and snickered. “I think Bloom is looking for more than that, though.”

“It definitely looks better than before,” Sweetie murmured. “Sparkly pink, purple and blue weren’t exactly the right colors for a haunted castle.”

“The castle is normally pink?” There was a momentary flashback of Pink before my eyes, and I shuddered. “Such an unnatural color.”

“Pfft! Try a sappy color.” Scoots blew a raspberry. “This new castle is way cooler. Twilight should really just keep things like this.”

“You say that now, but wait until you’ve entered… the Castle of Nightmares!” Thunder sounded right behind us, and we all jumped as a raspy laugh filled the air. “Got you!” Rainbow Dash zooped off into the distance, cackling madly in her witch’s robes and hat. A poor enchanted broomstick desperately trailed after her contrail, feebly trying to match its owner’s pace.

“Castle of Nightmares?” I squeaked, looking back up at the towering structure before us.

“Aww, yeah. Sounds like things turned out great this year.” Scootaloo pumped a hoof in the air. “Come on! Let’s go!”

She dashed to the door and pushed herself against it, forcing it to rumble open with the ominous grating of stone on stone. The darkened hall I glimpsed within was somehow even darker than the castle walls—unnaturally so—and I had to squint just to make the faint outlines of furniture within.

“Uhh… g-girls?” I ruffled my wings. “I’m not so sure this is a good idea.”

“Well, real guards have to face bigger dangers than some dusty castle full of fake monsters, right?” Apple Bloom shrugged.

“R-real guards also know when they’re outclassed.” I tried really hard not to stammer, but even I couldn’t see in there. Even as Scoots ran in and the torches lit, the silver flames barely illuminated more than a few feet in front of them. The rest of the girls moved in after Scoots, while I creeped in more carefully.

As I slinked inside, the doors slammed shut and the scrabble of claws on stones filled the air as a villainous cackle echoed through the hall. I turned to catch the villain in the act, but they were already gone – a secret passage sealing behind them as they retreated back into the castle.

“Was that Spike?” Apple Bloom squinted at the now sealed passage before walking over to examine the grey stains the bloodsoaked beast left on the floor. “Hrmmm… Stubby, ketchup clawprints. Yep, that’s Spike.”

“Pfft! Lame.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Twilight will need to try harder than that to get us!”

There was the sudden, shrieking snap of rusty metal before the chandelier above her started to plummet downwards. The fragile flames of its candles went out as it rushed downwards, plunging Scoots final moments into darkness. Only I could see her outline as she tried to run and tripped on a crack—her cry lost to the rattling chains of the chandelier.

“Scree!” Without thinking, I gave a mighty flap of my wings and vaulted over to the downed pegasus. I shielded her with my body—hoping the spikes would only manage to pierce me instead of her—and I tensed as the ornament finally reached us. The spikes began to press into my body and time seemed to freeze as my little, batty life flashed before my eyes.

Wait. Time wasn’t frozen…. The chandelier had just stopped.

Twisting my head to look up, I accidentally bonked it on a piece of the chandelier. It swung slightly—lightly scratching my back—before it began to retract with a grinding noise.

I could feel Scootaloo’s heart racing next to my own. I could faintly hear it if I really tried, and, as the candles relit themselves, I found her pupils were as wide as her irises.

“That was… awesome!” She wriggled out from under me to gaze upwards. “She didn’t have that last year!”

I took a few deep breaths to try and calm my pounding heart. That had been way to close.

“Is Princess Twilight trying to kill us?!” I wailed, the echo carrying its way along the halls.

“Calm down, Night,” Apple Bloom soothed. “Princess Twilight has gone just about plum crazy the past couple years when she does this. Worries herself to pieces over everypony’s safety.”

“She actually had a small break down the first year worrying whether or not something would go wrong,” Sweetie murmured.

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” I whimpered, the unnatural darkness weighing down on me. “I… I can barely even see in here…. It’s—” I gulped, “—it’s just wrong. Like, Everfree Forest level wrong.”

“Oh, Night…” Diamond Tiara came up and wrapped a hoof around me. “If you want, we can turn around and head back outside. I won’t mind missing the castle if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“I can go too.” Silver stepped up. “Maybe we can play the festival games some more or something.”

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Mom and Dad always said the job got tough sometimes.

“No… no…. I’m fine.” A shudder down my back said otherwise, so I forced myself to go still. “We already split up when getting candy. I’d rather stay here with everypony.”

“You sure?” Diamond frowned in the silver candlelight.

“I’m sure.” I looked into the murky blackness beyond. “I can handle this….”

Hopefully.

“Well, let’s get going then!” Scootaloo bounded ahead without a care, and, as she did so, more torches lit her way.

Every so often—in the sinister shadows between each light—I’d catch the outline of a suit of armor lurching towards her or somepony jumping from a door in the hallway. Her squeals and shrieks of laughter echoed down the hall, and filled me with a mix of relief and apprehension. Butterflies—both good and bad—started flitting about my stomach, and I slowly, hesitantly took a step to follow.

“That filly needs to learn to slow down,” Diamond huffed, glaring after the pegasus. “Bolting off like that. Didn’t she even hear Night?”

“It’s alright.” I smiled softly. “Actually, I think it helped a little. We should go catch her before she gets too far ahead, though.”

“I can go grab her before she gets too far if y’all don’t want to run.” Apple Bloom looked between us all, settling her gaze on me. “I figure you want to take things nice and slow without pulling the whole castle down on us?”

Nodding, I looked out to where Scoots had faded into the darkness. “That’d be nice if you don’t mind, Bloom. I’d rather not—”

“Ahhhhhhh!” A familiar filly’s shriek of terror faintly echoed from far in the distance. The tiny clip clop of hooves soon followed, and then Scoots came blasting past with a contrail—her wings buzzing like mad to give her more horsepower. “Run before she gets you!” She screamed at us as she ran past, forcing our ears to splay back.

A moment of silence passed.

“R-run before who gets us?” Sweetie bit her lip, turning to face the dark depths of the castle.

“Teeheehee…”

“I don’t know, but did any of you hear that just now?” My ears barely caught the noise, flicking to try and locate it.

“Teeheehee…”

“It’s a mite hard to hear with Scoots screaming her head off.” Apple Bloom snorted, waggling her ears.

“My ears are still ringing,” Diamond huffed.

“Teeheehee…”

“There!” My ears went taut, straining to catch any remnants of the sound as they turned and twitched.

“Teeheehee…”

Where was it— Oh!

Two torches lit to illuminate a painting on the wall I hadn’t been able to see before. It depicted a Twilight Sparkle far different than the Princess of Friendship—clad in spiked, full-body armor with a flowing, dark charcoal cape. Two enormous bat wings had replaced her normal pegasus ones, and she had enormous fangs that left me feeling both small and a little insulted. Her piercing blue eyes left me—

Wait. Blue? I froze, a growing horror clawing at my chest.

“No. No. No, no, no. No.” I scrambled back, falling on my rump as I tripped over the others who had started to come over.

“Night? What’s wrong?” Diamond asked, a slight tremor in her voice.

“Her.” I pointed at the portrait.

“P-Princess Twilight?” Sweetie squeaked.

“No,” I whispered. “Worse.”

“Teeheeheeheeheeheehee. Figured it out, did you?” The eyes blinked and the canvas on the portrait stretched as somepony began to tear their way out from behind it. “Now who wants some cupcakes: made of fillies, for fillies.”

“Ahhhhhhh!” The other crusaders shrieked as a Pink hoof ripped through the painting with a moon forsaken cleaver.

“Screeeee!” My own scream was much louder, the Pinkness standing in perfect relief against the darkness—brighter than ever before. I ran and ran and ran and ran, until I could run no more. Only when I was sure she was no longer chasing me did I slink back home to shiver and sweat beneath my blankets.

Sleep didn’t come until long into the next night.
> Ewigenacht
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was do or die.

I walked up to Miss Cheerilee, shuffling from one hoof to another. Thankfully, she couldn’t see me avoiding eye contact with my shades, but I could still hear the concern in her voice.

“Night, is something wrong?”

By the stars, why wouldn’t my leg stop twitching? This wasn’t that scary. The worst she could do was say no, and Mom and Dad promised me we would go no matter what.

“I-I was wondering…” I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, “...if I could have next week off without any extra work? There’s a family thing I need to do in Canterlot.”

Miss Cheerilee walked from behind her desk to bend down in front of me; her smiling face was inescapable. “Oh? This wouldn’t happen to be for Ewigenacht, would it?”

I scrunched downwards. “How’d you know?”

She laughed, patting my withers. “Your parents mentioned it when I sat down to talk with them some more after your first day. Normally, I’d have to say no—rules are rules, after all—but I think we can make a special exception for the holidays.”

“Really?” I finally managed to look at her, eyes wide.

“On one condition.” Miss Cheerilee grinned with a gleam in her eyes. “You have to help me teach the class today—”

“What?!” I squeaked. “I know I get good grades and all, but I don’t think—”

“—on Ewigenacht.” Miss Cheerilee’s grin grew and she hopped from hoof to hoof. “It’ll be so much fun! You probably know more about it than I do!”

“Yeah… fun….” I found myself shuffling from hoof to hoof again.

“Hey! Don’t worry!” Miss Cheerilee bent down to look me in the eye again. “It doesn’t have to be anything big. I researched enough of the general history and traditions to do things on my own if you want, but I thought it’d be fun if you added a personal thestral touch. I want the class to learn what makes it special to you. Can you do that?”

I hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“Thank you.” Miss Cheerilee smiled, ruffling my mane before standing back up and heading to the door. “Alright, class! Recess is over!”

“Awww…” There was a bunch of groans from everypony outside.

“But the bell hasn’t rung yet!” Count on Rumble to put up a fight—the insubordinate, little jerk.

“Yes, and I’m sorry for cutting it short, but I promise I have a lesson you’ll all love.” Miss Cheerilee looked back at me with a wink. “Nightingale has been teaching me all about a special thestral holiday! Did you know she doesn’t celebrate Hearth’s Warming like the rest of us?”

“Doesn’t celebrate Hearth’s Warming?!” The schoolhouse shook from the force of my classmate’s cries of distress—the doorway suddenly filling with curious heads trying to peek around Miss Cheerilee. I shrunk in at the volume, my ears pinned to my head as I fought the urge to hide in the closet.

“Yep!” my teacher chirped. “She celebrates something completely different! Don’t you want to learn all about it?”

There was heated muttering from everypony outside before a lone voice called forth.

“It isn’t boring, is it?” A grey head with a slick black mane poked out from the sea of foals to squint at me.

Why that little— How dare he question Ewigenacht?! He didn’t even know anything about it!

“Scree!” I hissed at Rumble, forgetting my nervousness as my blood boiled at his comment.

Why did he always insist on doing these things? The stupid, no-good, insubordinate featherbrain needed to learn when it was best to sit down and shut up. There was no reason for him to—

“We do not screech at classmates, Nightingale!” Miss Cheerilee glanced back at me and I immediately fell silent under her gaze. “Please don’t do anything that will force me to keep you in detention next week….” She studied me for a few moments until she was satisfied.

Then, she turned back to Rumble with a strained smile. “Now, Rumble, that was very rude of you. Ewigenacht is a very important part of thestral culture. It’s just as important to Night as Hearth’s Warming is to us, so I would like you to apologize.”

“Sorry, Night….” Rumble rubbed the back of his head. “I can’t be the only pony thinking it, though!”

“Yeah, but none of the others were stupid enough to say it right to Miss Cheerilee and Night!” Diamond huffed. “They probably worked real hard to set something up for us! What does it matter if we miss a little recess?”

The bell decided it was time to ring.

“See!” Diamond stomped a hoof. “We didn’t even have that much time left anyways!”

There were more heated mutters from everypony outside.

“Everypony, please!” Miss Cheerilee looked about. “We’ve wasted enough time fighting. Recess is over, so please just come in and take your seats. This is meant to be a fun lesson for everypony.”

As the class piled in after her, Miss Cheerilee closed the door and went to each of the windows, closing the shutters and drawing the curtains tight. I smiled at the sight as the mix of whites and light greys spread through most of the room darkened to a more appreciable muddle of charcoals and steels. I could see where she was going with the lesson, and hastened to switch the lights off as soon as she was done.

“You’re getting ahead of yourself aren’t you, Night?” Miss Cheerilee laughed. “Now I can’t see well enough to get the—“

“Shshshshhh!” I stuck a hoof out only remembering afterwards that she couldn’t see me anywhere near as well as I could see her. “Just tell me where they are, and I’ll take care of everything.”

“Ooooh-wheee-oooh...” Snails stage whispered only for the nearby crusaders to slug him in the shoulder. “Ow! How’d you even find me?”

“You get used to it when you hang out with Night.” Silver rolled her eyes.

Yeah, this was nowhere near as deep or dark or terrifying as the depths of the caves beneath Canterlot—at least for me. I could show the class the true magic of having your first Ewigenacht; I could see well enough to lead the procession myself, and I already had the best friends— I mean, acolytes— I could ask for.

“Alright, then…” Cheerilee bit her lip. “If you’re sure you can do it on your own, then you can find everything in the right drawers of my desk…”

I slunk to the front of the room as quietly as I could. Silence was key to a good Ewigenacht—silence and shadows. I barely touched my hooves to the floor, and I opened the desk with care.

Shoot…. The candles were in a plastic bag. That was going to be noisy….

I swished back to my desk and emptied my saddlebags before returning to the front. Ripping open the plastic bag as if I was tearing off a band aid, I hastily dumped the candles in my saddle bags and studiously ignored the disrespectful crinkle that broke the silence.

Several foals dared to whisper to one another, and I promptly shushed them as I had Miss Cheerilee.

“Lame….” Rumble muttered to himself, and I smiled as Diamond kicked him as quietly as a neighponese ninja.

At least somepony got the message.

I muffled the sound of me striking the match with my wing, and hid its glow from everypony but myself. I reverently lowered the flame until the fire jumped to light the wick of the candle I’d carefully placed in the simple, bronze carrier Miss Cheerilee had provided.

“And lo—“ I squeaked, and cringed at my own voice before gamely pressing on. I knew the words by heart. Every thestral from Canterlot did. They had a way of carving themselves into the brain amid the silence of the caves.

“And lo! In the age before the three became four, the unicorns, earth ponies and pegasi lived in an uneasy truce. Too weak to survive on their own, they each provided the needs of the others, while we secluded ourselves in our mountains.”

I almost stumbled a few times. Certain words were long or hard or strange, and, while I knew them all by heart, I still didn’t fully understand them. I felt them, though, as I did every year, and I avoided stuttering through them.

“We were the mightiest hunters of the land, and we needed neither sun nor food nor magic. We hunted easily, the land beneath the pale moon defined with our echoes. They thought us monsters, and we thought ourselves their betters.”

I drew in a deep breath.

“Such was both our follies.”

Somepony giggled, and I squirmed a bit.

“In our pride, we thought ourselves beyond the need of help, thus offered none. The three descended into chaos and conflict, and we abandoned them to their fate. When they left for greener pastures, we remained in the bitter cold and tried to live as we always had.”

Some of the others were whispering or fidgeting as I spoke, and it made me itch and twitch.

“As the endless blizzard worsened, though, we soon found ourselves trapped in a hateful night through which even we could not see. Our echoes were lost amidst the raging winds, and even our keenest hunters were all but blind when they ventured into the whirling snow.”

I doused the lone candle lighting up my face.

“Ewigenacht had come. And lost within the impenetrable umbra, there was naught we could do but pray.”

I waited for a minute in the shadowy silence before I lit the candle once more. I held it up so all could see the flickering flame, and I made sure my voice carried through the room.

“And she came to us—the great northern star, Polaris! She pierced the endless clouds and night where even the harsh and unforgiving Sol had failed! She came to us in our darkest hour, and shed what little light we needed to navigate the storm!”

Biting into the handle of the bronze base, I carried my charge to Diamond Tiara’s desk. I resisted the urge to glower at Rumble as I quietly retrieved a candle from my bags and lit it for my fellow crusader.

“On the second night, she brought a friend—a star that would stick near her until the very end.”

I waved to Diamond to follow me before going to Scoots, Sweetie, Silver, and Bloom.

“And, before long, her friend brought a friend and their friend brought a friend and their friend brought still another friend. The tiny trickle of light became a flock of glimmering whites, blending blacks into greys, granting moon blessed sight.”

We went from desk to desk lighting candles for everypony—even Rumble—as the room finally started to understand. The whispers had died. The fidgeting had stopped. Everypony watched my little procession of starlight.

“For seven miraculous nights, the stars came to aid us, lighting our way as we made our escape. On the eighth day, the storm finally broke as we rested, letting us wake to the clearest sky we had ever beheld. And as we thanked the stars for guiding us to this new land, we noticed a bright new star blazed in the night above the heart of our new home: a beacon for us to follow.”

I lit Miss Cheerilee’s candle.

“It was beneath that star, we found the three, and they welcomed us like never before. Where once they’d thought us monsters, now they welcomed us as brothers and sisters, and we were happy to receive their aid. A change had come—to both them and us. Thus, did the three become four.”

I looked out over the class to see my hoofwork, and became acutely aware of everypony staring at me.

“What?” I shrunk in on myself.

Rumble snorted. “Those were some pretty big words, you a dictionary or something?”

“Rumble!” Miss Cheerilee tutted before ruffling my mane with one hoof. “Don’t you worry, Night. You were fantastic out there. I wasn’t expecting you to be quite so… serious though. I was just planning on lighting the candles to set the mood for the lecture. I didn’t realize you practically knew the whole rite!”

“Well, not the whole thing….” I felt my cheeks heat up. “That’s just the part that everypony knows. It’s hard to forget when it’s bringing the first light you’ve seen in hours.” I shuffled from hoof to hoof. “The caves can get really dark in Canterlot….”

She chuckled. “I can imagine…. Now, why don’t you go take your seat? As enlightening as your presentation was, I still need to give the rest of the lecture.”

She looked out over the room as the crusaders and I scampered off to our desks. “Can everypony see well enough to take notes by their candlelight?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Yeah!”

“M-maybe?”

A chorus of mostly yeses rang out.

“Then get your notebooks out, because we’ve got a big lesson ahead of us.” Miss Cheerilee giggled. “I imagine at least some of it will end up as extra credit on your next test.”





“Mom! Dad! I’m home! Miss Cheerilee said I can go to Ewigenacht!” I burst through the door with glee and my dad hissed at the light, burying himself in the table to escape it. Most of the luggage he’d packed throughout the night surrounded him, and I couldn’t help but poke at them as I wondered which held my presents this year.

Seven nights, seven presents. It was just so hard to wait.

“No. No early presents for you,” Dad groused from within his fluffy bastion, blindly waving a hoof towards the door. “Now shut that sun-blasted thing and go help your mother pack your bag. She wasn’t sure which shampoo to pack or something.”

I smiled sheepishly, easing the door shut before heading to my room. “Mom? You in here?”

I poked my head in to find my bed even neater than I’d left it. The clouds were perfectly flat and rectangular, and the blankets fitted over them so snuggly that it looked like I could cut myself on the edge of the bed. It was a clear sign of recent mom activity: I still couldn’t set the bed to proper guard standards.

My blindball trophies had been dusted, and the couple of pictures I kept had been straightened on the wall. The one Wonderbolts poster I had framed even shined as much as my many, many guard posters.

There was no Mom, though, just an open bag on the floor.

“I’m in the bathroom, Night.” There was a voice from behind me. “Did you want the lavender and lily shampoo or the rose medley?”

“Does it really matter?” I shouted back, tilting my head to the side.

“Of course, it does!” Mom squawked. “The whole family will be there, and you need to look your best for when the lights come on.” There was the sound of several bottles clattering. “Ooh! Strawberry-kiwi! It even says it leaves your coat extra smooth and silky! That’ll be great for when we’re all snuggling in the dark!”

“Mom!” I whined as I trotted down the hall to see the mess for myself. “Just pick one! We don’t want to be late!”

“I already tried telling her that!” Dad called from the living room. “She wouldn’t listen!“

“Shush, you!” Mom called back. “This is important! Besides, you’re the one who bought me all these!”

Dad grumbled loudly for a minute or two. “Yes, I bought you those, not Night.”

“Right!” Mom giggled. “And now I’m loaning them to Night so she can look her best this Ewigenacht.”

“Ragger. Shtagger. Fragger! Dagger!” A soft fwump signaled the coffee table being flipped.

“Drama queen!” Mom’s giggles turned to outright laughter. “Must you always get this way when we travel?”

“Must you always spend an entire day getting ready?” Dad snorted. “I wanted to do something besides packing last night!”

I walked into the bathroom to see—

By the stars, that was a lot of bottles.

“Mom, why do you have so much shampoo?” I squinted at the pile of bottles taller than me. There couldn’t possibly be enough room for those in the cupboards.

I got a smile in response. “Your father has yet to realize there’s more to feminine hygiene than a good shampoo.”

“I heard that!” I could hear Dad rolling his eyes. “Besides, a good shampoo is just as serviceable as a good cologne!”

Mom stuck her tongue out at the door. “Really? That’s not what you thought two weeks ago when you took me on that date!”

“That was a special occasion!” Dad rumbled back.

“Yes, it certainly was!” Mom turned back to digging through the bottles. “And so is this! Be glad I’m not making her wear my perfume!”

There was a pause. “You have perfume?”

Mom giggled. “Yes, dear, I wore some of it on that date.”

“I thought that was just the shampoo….” I barely managed to catch Dad’s mumble on the edge of my hearing. “Guess it’s a good thing Rarity talked me into getting her a dress instead….”

Ooh…. Mom was going to love getting a Rarity.

“Do I want to know what you just said?” Mom looked up again to arch an eyebrow at the door.

“No!” Dad and I shouted simultaneously.

Mom squinted at me suspiciously before shrugging and lifting another bottle up. “Oh! Lavender and lilies! This is perfect!”

But— But she already asked me about that one! I ground my fangs together and resisted the urge to flip something. Dad was no better. He groaned audibly from the living room, and whimpered about the lack of a good coffee table.

“Oh, my. I made such a mess looking for this….” Mom craned her neck over the sea of bottles. “You go look for anything you want to pack that I might have missed, Night. I definitely need to clean this up.”

I left, taking Mom’s bottle of shampoo with me. The sounds of construction equipment and industrial strength wing dusting came through the door as I closed it, and I hastily made my way to my room before she could change her mind.





I glided to the left as we circled Mount Canter, careful to stay in the upwash Dad left behind for me. Our little skein of three had managed to fly all the way from Ponyville without stopping for a rest, and I was grinning like a loon under moon because of it.

Dad hit a thermal and began to climb. A creaky groan filled the air as the wagon behind him took a second to adjust to the change in angle, but it held together as it always did.

I followed him up, grateful for the relief to my wings. Sure, they burned the good burn, but I was starting to reach my limits. If we didn’t find the entrance to the caves soon, I’d have to get in the wagon or hitch a ride with Mom.

And that would be just the absolute worst given how far I’d made it.

“Is that it?!” Mom yelled from behind me as a flicker of light came into view above us. She had insisted on following me—just in case. It bugged me a little, but at least I got to practice leaving my own upwash for her.

“Yes!” Dad rumbled back with a laugh. “Only catching it now, are you? Your eyes must be slipping!”

I squirmed slightly, having only just caught sight of it myself.

“Oh?!” Mom giggled. “And when did the mighty Tempered Mettle catch sight of it?!”

Dad shifted slightly as he continued to band left. “About two rotations ago! We should be up there in about three more!”

“Three more!” I whinnied. “I’m not sure I can make that!”

Dad looked back at me for a moment, half-smiling, half-frowning. “You sure about that, champ?! You’ve been doing great so far! It’s only a little farther, and I’m doing everything I can to keep it to a glide!”

“Yeah, I’m sure!” I took a moment to glower at the light above us. It was so close and yet so far…. “Maybe if we made a straight climb I could—“

“No!” The reprimand from both Mom and Dad was immediate and harsh. My ears wilted at it, but I followed the chain of command and curved inwards to perch on the wagon. Dad grunted a little at the extra weight but soldiered on, while Mom rotated forward to take my place.

We flew in silence after that. It wasn’t until we reached the caves and turned in for a landing that my parents said anything else. No sooner than when the wagon wheels skidded to a stop, Mom swept me up in a hug to end all hugs.

“I’m so sorry for snapping at you my little light in the night—“ she squeezed, “—but what you wanted was really dangerous to consider. It’s never a good idea to climb like that if you’re close to your limits. There are horror stories of ponies who had their wings lock up from cramps because they asked for more than their wings could give.”

“But you would have caught me!” I wiggled in her embrace.

“Night…” Mom whispered into my ear, “...you’re old enough to know that that isn’t always true…. It wasn’t worth the risk when we had a safer option.”

She pulled back and looked at me, smiling. “Besides, you know the first rule of formation flying. Your father would never have been able to climb like that with the wagon.”

“Yeah, I know….” I kicked at the ground.

Mom immediately hugged me again. “You should be proud of yourself, Night. You almost made it all the way to Canterlot in one go! Do you know how hard that is for a filly your age?”

“Most parents would be terrified to let their foals tackle that kind of flight.” There was a clink and creaky groan as Dad finished talking with the lookout to unhitch himself. “We knew you could do it, though.”

“But I didn’t make it!” My ears splayed back and I sniffed once. “I made it all the way to the end only to fail.”

Dad bent down to look me square in the eye. “Night. You. Did. Not. Fail.”

“But I—“

He booped me on the nose. “No, you didn’t.”

“But I—“

Another boop. “No. You didn’t.”

He let out a rumbling chuckle. “You managed to make it a lot farther than I ever did as a colt. You have the markings of a great endurance flyer, and you’re only going to get better as you keep training in the Junior Guard.”

“I guess…” I muttered.

“Come on, now!” He ruffled my mane before lifting me onto the wagon. “We need to get to the cave inn so we can get our alcove before they give it away.” He looked over me at Mom. “You ready, honey?”

“You bet!” Mom jingled the harness to the wagon for good measure. “You going to hold my hoof in case we get lost in the dark again?”

“You know it.” Dad purred, waggling his eyebrows. “Just stay close to me.”

“My knight in shadowed armor.” Mom fluttered her eyelashes as she took Dad’s hoof in her own.

“Eeew, guys!” I stuck my tongue out and my parents grinned at me like loons under moon.





“Welcome to the Drunken Moon, finest cave inn in all of Mount Canter.” A thestral dropped down from the ceiling to greet us as we entered a particularly large hollow in the mountain. “Do you have a reservation? Or are you just dropping in?”

“Reservation.” Dad stepped forward. “One Tempered Mettle for a lit alcove for three.”

“Ah, yes. You’re lucky you managed to snag the last one.” The thestral bowed his head. “Please remember not to make it too bright or you may disturb the other guests.”

“Of course.” Mom smiled. “I’m used to working by candlelight at home.”

“Thank you.” The bow was deeper this time. “You’ll find your accommodations on the third floor behind me, alcove zero-three-two-six.”

The thestral waved to us before flying back up to his stalactite.

“Tempered Mettle, you old son of a sunwitch! I thought I saw you dragging your sorry flank in here!” A bombastic echo carried through the cavern and several of its occupants screed in displeasure.

Dad just rolled his eyes and waited for the meteor to impact him. “That insult doesn’t work when we’re brothers, you big oaf.” Their hug was fierce. “Where are all the others?”

Uncle Courage pulled back with a somber frown. “They all got a case of the feather flu.”

Dad and I winced. Feather flu was the worst when you didn’t have any feathers.

“Everypony?” Dad shook his head sadly.

“Everypony.” Uncle Courage nodded. “Even got General Badass.”

“By the stars, it must be bad then.” Dad muttered. “Star Keeper never gets sick. He’s all but made of stone.”

“Not to be a stick in the mud—“ Mom pressed into Dad, “—but I’d really like a bit of light. Care to join us for a night cap, Liquid? We’ll probably be having a quick snack before taking a nap and freshening up for tonight’s ceremony.”

“I’d love to.” Uncle Courage bowed his head before squinting up. “You wouldn’t happen to have any of Sweet Apple Acres’ famous applejack on hoof, would you?”

“Not with Night here, no,” Mom tittered. “We can bring you a bottle when we visit my family for Hearth’s Warming if you like, though. Will you still be in Canterlot then?”

“Probably not, but I can make the time to come back.” Uncle Courage grinned, flaring his wings to cast a massive and sinister shadow. “Who knows, maybe I’ll stick around to scare the daylights out of everypony?”

Uncle Courage at Grandma Billowy’s for Hearth’s Warming. I giggled. Now there was a thought.

Dad snorted in amusement. “They haven’t been scared of me in years—“ Mom coughed, “—Okay, the adults haven’t been scared of me in years. The little ones can be a bit jumpy.”

“Don’t forget my brother, dear.” Mom prodded Dad.

“I didn’t.” Dad rolled his eyes. “He’s included with the little ones.”

“I hope Zephyr won’t be there this time….” I pouted. “Last time he wouldn’t stop crying whenever he saw me, and all I did was smile at him!”

“I told you not to let it bother you,” Dad rumbled, ruffling my mane. “Your cousin Zephyr is just a baby. He doesn’t know any better.” He frowned. “Besides, he probably gets it from his father, the pansy.”

“Tempered,” Mom chided, blindly trying to thwap Dad with a wing. At most she managed to tickle him as he deftly dodged to the side.

“I know. I know.” He chuckled as Mom finally landed a hit. “Why don’t you show your mother to our room, Night. I’m going back to the wagon and to bring in all our luggage.”

Mom grinned and pecked Dad on the cheek. “Make sure you lock up when you’re done. Wouldn’t want anypony running off with that rusty old thing.” She giggled. “They’d probably poke an eye out.”

Dad kissed her back. “Yes, love.” He turned to walk towards the cavern we’d parked in.

“Oh!” Mom turned to wave in the completely wrong direction. “Don’t forget the bag with all the shampoo!”





I giggled as I ran between the carts and stands. Silver and candles were everywhere, dotting the caverns with little specks of light. We were so deep that it was hard to see without them, and it was like running among the inky greyness of space—each candle a star to light the way.

I loved it.

“Night, be careful!” Mom called out from behind me. “You don’t want to get lost right before the first night, do you?”

“No!” I pranced back. “But I won’t go too far!” I slapped a hoof to my chest. “I’m too responsible for that!”

“You aren’t the platoon commander for nothing.” Dad grinned, and Mom gave him a look.

“I seem to remember another platoon commander who got into all kinds of trouble,” Mom hummed, squinting at Dad. “For some reason, I was the one who always got them out of it.”

Dad gave a rumbling laugh. “True, but our little star is actually responsible. Let her have her fun, dear.”

“Worst comes to worst. I can keep an eye on her.” Uncle Courage chuckled. “You two focus on your romantic stroll through a pitch black cave.”

I fidgeted a little, waiting for Mom’s approval. Her face was all scrunched up as she thought about it, and—

“Oh! Sparklers!” I bolted off as a new cart wheeled in from a side cavern. The fireworks carts were the best.  The way they crackled and popped to tickle my ears. The way they burst in little fits of light and smoke that made all the greys around them dance and weave and shimmer.

Fireworks were the best.

“Hello there, little filly.” The mare managing the cart bent down to smile at me as I stared transfixed at the sparklers spinning on her cart. “Are you looking for something to brighten up your night after the silent vigil?”

“I— Umm— I— Yes?” I squeaked.

“Well, you bring your parents over here, and I’ll see what I can do.” The mare ruffled through her cart. “No filly as adorable as yourself deserves to be without a little light on Ewigenacht. Here. At least take this sparkler on the house.” She hoofed me a small rod.

“Screeheeheeheehee!” I scurried off with my prize. “Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Look what I got! Can we buy some more?! The fireworks lady was really nice and—“

“Calm down, Night.” Mom silenced me by gently putting a hoof to my muzzle before she looked at Dad, who nodded with a smile. Then, she reached into her saddle bags to get some bits. “A couple sparklers seem like a wonderful idea, Night. I want you to take some money and grab one for each of us, okay?”

I vigorously nodded.

“Good.” She smiled. “Check if she has any candles too. We might as well pick those up while we’re at it.”

“Yes, Mom!” I pranced off only to sheepishly return moments later to collect the bits I left behind. “Be back in a flash!”

I ran back to the fireworks cart.

“That was fast. I take it you ran ahead of your parents?” The salespony giggled.

“Nope!” I fluffed out my chest. “They gave me all the money we’d need.”

“Aren’t you a responsible little filly, then.” The mare smiled. “Whenever I give my nephew money, he just runs off and spends it on sweets.”

“I’m a platoon commander!” I trilled, puffing out my chest even more for a moment. There was business to tend to, though, so I ruffled my wings and looked over the cart carefully. “By the way, do you have any candles? We haven’t picked up any for tonight yet.”

There was a laugh from the salespony. “Cutting it close, aren’t you? I can’t remember the last time anypony asked me for candles, but it’d be wrong not to have at least a few in stock. Let me see if I can find them.”

A long, low, solemn horn echoed its way through the entire cave system.

“It’s time! It’s time!” I hopped up and down, squeaking.

I was so excited I almost dashed off without paying for everything.





The braziers above us shed just enough light to outline all the families that had gathered in the enormous cavern that filled the pit of Mount Canter. It was dark—really, truly, dark—and my heart beat just a little faster because of it.

Yet, the only sounds to be heard in the vastness of the cave were the breathing of ponies and Elder Moonbeam’s voice. Occasionally, somepony would sniffle. Once, somepony snorted. The room ate the sounds like we ate bugs, though. They were gone in a flash; it swallowed them whole within seconds.

Only the elder’s voice managed to carry throughout the cave, a single candle lighting his post in the distance. He was talking about something or other. Some lesson some hunter learned when he did something to some rabbit who came from the moon.

Heh…. Moon rabbits….

I squirmed a little, making myself as cozy as possible between Mom and Dad. They’d draped both their wings over me, and the rise and fall of their barrels rocked me back and forth with the sound of their breathing. If I was a few years younger, I probably would have fallen asleep by now.

I was a big girl now, though. The last couple years, I made it through all the lectures without falling asleep, and I’d be darned if I didn’t do it this year. Even flying all the way here couldn’t keep me down.

Uncle Courage had been dragged under Dad’s other wing with only a little reluctance on his part, and the two of them shifted every so often, poking and prodding each other as brothers do.

It made me wonder when Mom and Dad would finally get around to buying me a little brother from the stork.

Wait…. Was Elder Moonbeam stopping? Was it time for—

A cold wind pierced the depths of the mountain, ghostly whinnies echoing in the darkness. It chilled me to the bone, even beneath my parents’ wings, and we all huddled together a little closer.

The braziers died instantly. Only the candle by Elder Moonbeam managed to stay alight, desperately flickering in the darkness. Finally, it too died out, and the wind fled, laughing victoriously.

“Ewigenacht has come.” Elder Moonbeam intoned from the complete and total darkness. “Now we pray to the stars. Let them hear us and light the way for us once more.”

I snuggled into Mom and Dad as quietly as I could. I couldn’t see anything—could barely hear anything. The darkness was absolute, and the cavern devoured any sound we might make. It made my heart race in a way I only rarely felt. As long as I could feel everypony, though…

Mom wrapped her wing tighter around me and squeezed. It would be a long couple of hours until the starlight procession, but I knew it would be worth it.

I shivered in anticipation.

It was always worth it.
> Flu Through the Night
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Itchy. Itchy. Itchy!

I squirmed beneath my covers, sweating profusely as sleep evaded me. My wings had been pitching a fit all day, and they weren’t getting any better. I’d been nibbling on them nonstop when Mom and Dad weren’t watching, desperately trying to sink my fangs into a foe that would not die.

“Achoo!” I gave a squeaky sneeze, and a little bit of snot found its way to my foreleg. My sheets were already soaked with sweat, so I wiped it onto the blanket, and resolved to do a bit of laundry tomorrow.

There was no denying it. My cold had been promoted. It wasn’t strep throat… not again. It wasn’t the stupidly named pink eye, which pales in comparison to the true manifestation of pink evil. No, this was much worse.

Itchy wings…. Itchy wings…. My eyes slowly widened, pupils constricting as a realization dusked on me. As my fur stood on end, a single, terrible shiver passed through me.

It couldn’t be that. It just couldn’t. Uncle Courage wasn’t even sick when we saw him on Ewigenacht....

I shivered again, irritating my wings and making them itch even worse than before. Turning to carefully rake my fangs through them, I nibbled as delicately as I could, and my right wing sang in relief as my teeth targeted the dastardly fiends.

I risked fluttering the wing a little, just to see if the villains would come back. No sudden urge to scratch came, so I turned my attention to my left side.

As my teeth passed over the skin, the itching got worse this time. I nibbled and nibbled and nibbled some more, but nothing I did would give me the sweet relief my right wing had gotten.

Tired. Frustrated. I ruffled my wings without thinking, and my right wing took that as a sign to act up again. I grunted—desperately attacking this one itch that was ten times worse than all the others—and in doing so my fangs pierced the membrane of my wing.

A burning sensation shot through the appendage, and I curled into a ball, whimpering as the itch flared into something so much worse. The swelling was instant and painful. The pop of pus and skin followed right behind.

“Scree-eee!”

There was a pair of thwumps from down the hall, and a muffled shout came through the walls, carrying certain words I wasn’t allowed to say.

“Night? Night?! What’s wrong?” A dark blur burst from my parents’ room as Dad bucked the door apart and flew into the corridor.

“Dad!” My sun-blasted wings burned again, and I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. My back arched in pain, but I refused to scream again. “Dad, I think I have the feather flu! Help!”

Dad was there in an instant, holding me in a tight bear hug. “Night, you need to stop panicking. It didn’t help last time, and it won’t help this time. Just try to keep still and power through the pain. The first part is always the worst.”

I whimpered as Dad wrapped his hooves around me, but his touch helped me remember everything he’d taught me last time. I had to move as little as possible. Any irritation could cause a chain—

“Achoo!”

Pain! Ow! Oh, the pain! There was more than one this time!

Stars swirled in my eyes, so I screwed them shut, and focused on Dad’s heartbeat. My wings were shaking, and I couldn’t stop them as the pain spread through them in a great wave of fire. Eventually, the burning passed to leave my wings raw and tingling. I could feel them swollen with all those stupid ugly bumps, and I shivered when both of them twitched one last time.

“I-is it over, dear?” When had Mom come in?

“I think so….” Dad slowly backed away, eyeing me up and down. “Sometimes a few like to pop in late for one last surprise. Night, can you extend your wings for your mother?”

I hesitantly did so, jumping a bit when I thought I felt another itch coming on. None came, though, so I carefully expanded my wings to full mast. A few blood-and-pus-covered feathers had already sprouted from the bumps that had burst, making me a miserable, misshapen lump of a rat with wings.

Mom crept forward, bringing her head close enough to scrutinize my wings in the dark. As she counted each unholy lump that had formed upon my wings, I prayed that she wouldn’t find any missing.

“I… think that’s one for every feather.” Mom hummed. “Although, a few seem a little… off….”

Dad snorted. “She was must have been scratching earlier, otherwise none of the pustules would have burst. We need to make sure she doesn’t irritate them any more.”

“No….” My eyes widened as he looked at me apologetically. I knew where this was going. “No! Not again! You promised I’d never need to wear the cone ever again! I don’t even have fleas this time!”

“Your mother promised that, Night,” Dad rumbled. “I knew we might still get some use out of it.”

“But— But— But—” I pouted. “Mom!”

“I’m with your father on this one, Night.” Mom smiled sadly, her ears splaying back. “He’s the expert here, and if he says it will help, then it’ll help. I’m sorry….”

Dad pulled me into another hug. “It’ll only be for a week at most, little star. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Yeah, right…. I sniffled into his coat. Nothing could make up for the humiliation that was coming….





I sat on the couch and squirmed at the feel of the cone upon my neck. It was large and white and far too clunky. Whenever my wings itched, it thwarted my every attempt at relief. My fangs could simply not get around it, thus I sulked on the couch in silent, sleepy misery.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Dad’s voice made me jump a little.

“Can’t slee-ee-ee-yahp—” I gave a mighty yawn. “—with my wings like this.” Blinking blearily, I looked up at him. “Why didn’t you go back to bed with Mom?”

“I needed a shower after earlier.” Dad shrugged. “Your wings kind of left me covered in pus and blood.”

“Sorry….” I lowered my head back onto the couch and stared into the clouds that made it. “I probably got you sick, too, didn’t I?”

“None of this is your fault, Night. If anypony got us sick, it’s your uncle.” Dad growled. “And I am so going to kill him for this. No pony gets my filly sick.”

“Can I help?” I sniffled, scootching to the side a bit and curling up next to Dad as he took a seat beside me.

Dad gave a rumbling chuckle. “You can try, Night, but your uncle Courage is a tough old bast—”  He coughed and looked towards his and Mom’s bedroom. “—cookie. He’s the only one in the family whose heartier than your uncle Star Keeper.”

“Is that ‘cause he covers himself in guano to keep moist?” I looked up, tilting my head to the side.

“He’s doing what now?” Dad perked an eyebrow.

“You know, a bast-turd!” I squeaked, smiling wide.

“A what?!” Dad roared with laughter, pulling me closer to noogy me. “Oh, I’m so going to make sure your uncle never hears the end of that, but no, Night, that’s not what that word means.”

“But Sweetie’s dictionary said— said—” I squealed as he tickled me, almost forgetting my lumpy misshapen wings until one of the bumps burst and let out a feather.

“Ow….” I whimpered; at the very least, it wasn’t as painful as before.

“Sorry!” He immediately stopped and frowned. Picking a few tissues from the box on the table next to him, he carefully dabbed the white and grey gunk away.

After everything was clean, he ruffled my mane and kissed me on the forehead before looking over his shoulder. “Seriously, though, that’s not a word you should be using at your age. You’ll get us both in trouble.”

“But you use it!” I pouted.

“Your Mom and I earned the right to by going through all our guard training.” Dad grinned. “Have you gone through all of your guard training?”

“That’s no fair!” I whined. “Scoots said she heard Rainbow Dash call Fluttershy’s brother that!”

“Pfft! Wonderbolts are still part of the military.” Dad waved his hoof dismissively.

“Well…” I hummed. “What if I told you Sweetie saw that Rarity called Blueblood one in her diary?”

“Err—” Dad bit his lip. “—she probably has permission from the princesses because she’s an Element of Harmony?”

“That still doesn’t explain—” Dad put a hoof over my mouth.

“Look.” He glanced over his shoulder once more. “Why don’t you write me a list of all the ponies you’ve heard saying naughty words without a license? Your mom and I will go have a talk with them.”

“Al— Al—” My face scrunched as my nose was filled with an overpowering tingle. “Achoo!”

Eww…. Not again…. Stupid feather flu was making me all boogery….

“Can I have a tissue first?” I resisted the urge to rub my leg into the couch.

“Like you even need to ask,” Dad chuckled, hoofing me the tissue box from the table beside the couch. “You want me to go grab some books to read to you like the last time you had feather flu? I remember a certain somepony being unable to sleep then, too.”

“Yes, please.” I thoroughly wiped my leg and blew out whatever boogers were left into a clump of tissues. “Although, you don’t have to read them this time. I’m a big filly now.”

Dad laughed. “You really are, my little star. You’re nothing like the filly that barely fit in my hooves when she was born.”

I yawned. “Yeahaaahah… You’ve shown me pictures. Can’t believe I didn’t even have fangs.”

“Aye.” Dad nodded. “I had to gut crickets and mush them up just to feed you the first few months.” He stood and the couch floomped back into shape. “Now, you just stay there and I’ll go get those books. Do you have any preferences?”

“Daring Do, please,” I murmured as he headed into the hall. I wasn’t sure he heard me, but the couch was too comfy to leave.

Still, I was so itchy…. All I wanted… was… some...

“Well, well…. Looks like you might not need the books. You feeling good enough to sleep now?”

I startled, flailing a little as Dad dumped some books on the coffee table with a thwump. I almost fell off the couch as the cone unbalanced me, but Dad caught and steadied me with one hoof.

“Was I asleep?” I blinked blearily.

“Looks like….” Dad sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “I’m sorry. You were fidgeting just enough that I thought you were just resting your eyes.”

“It’s alright….” Rubbing at my eyes, I licked my lips. “I probably would have twitched awake in another minute or two.”

I picked up the book to stare at the words for several seconds. They refused to come into focus, and slid about the page with a will of their own. “Maybe you should read after all. I’m so tired the words just won’t…”

“Too tired to read, but too itchy to sleep…” Dad rumbled as he patted me on my withers. “That’s feather flu for you.”

I scootched over a bit and curled up against Dad’s side as he sat down again. As he picked up one of the books, he extended his wing over me, and I snuggled a little closer at the warmth. I closed my eyes to let his voice wash over me, hoping the itches might stop long enough that he’d lull me to sleep.

It took awhile, but eventually I slipped into a fitful rest—my dreams full of feathers and flying chickens.





A knocking on the door sent me tumbling to the floor with a flump. Dad was gone— I wasn’t sure where. It was so tempting to just crawl back onto the couch and pretend nopony was home.

“Night?” There was muffled panting from behind the door. “You there? Miss Cheerilee gave me your homework.”

Not the time, Scoots.

I pulled a section of the cloud floor over me as a blanket and flattened my ears, determined to get some more sleep. She’d take the hint eventually…. Probably.

“Night! Come on!” More knocking. “I know you’re in there! Your dad stopped by class to tell Miss Cheerilee you were sick! Get your lazy flank out of bed and answer the door!”

I wasn’t in bed, unfortunately…. I didn’t even have the couch anymore. All I had was the floor. Maybe that was a good thing, though. My homemade blanket crackled and tingled with some of the lightning we powered the house with, keeping me warm and toasty.

“Rrragh! Stupid door!” The lock rattled, and there was a clinking noise followed by the sound of metal snapping. “Hey! My pick!”

There was the thwump of hooves meeting the door, but I wasn’t concerned. Dad had invested in good, firm, enchanted clouds for all the doors, windows, and walls. We got a weird unicorn spell put on them so that we were the only ones who could mess with the house itself.

“Ow! Your house just zapped me!” She bucked the door again. “Ah! Why does it keep doing that instead of poofing?!” And again. “What the buck is your house made of?!”

Language, Scoots.

Moon-blessed silence fell after the third kick, and I thanked Luna that my friend was finally gone. Anything other than feather flu, and I probably would have at least attempted to go open the door, but with my wings like they were…

I coughed.

“Aha! I knew you were in here!”

“Scree!” I jumped as Scootaloo burst through the archway leading to the hallway. Jumped from behind, my wings flared out to full mast as I hissed.

“Bwahahahaha!” Far from scaring my assailant, I sent Scoots rolling on the floor with laughter. “What the hay happened to your wings?”

“Scootaloo?! How did you get in?!” My hiss turned into a whine.

“I picked the lock on your window.” Scoots rolled her eyes as she got up. “Seriously, though—” she snickered as she eyed my wings again, “—what’s up with your wings?”

“Feather flu…” I grimaced.

Scootaloo’s snickers grew.

“It’s not funny!” I stomped a hoof into the floor.

“You’re like a plucked chicken, though!” Scoots laughed. “How’d you get stuck with white feathers?!”

“I don’t know!” I hid behind my wings. “Please…. Just leave the homework and go…. I hate feather flu….”

“Darn it, Night….” I found myself being pulled into a hug. “You gotta learn to take a little ribbing.”

I leaned into the hug and sniffled.

“Eww!” Scoots laughed, pulling me closer to give me a noogie. “Don’t wipe your nose on me!”

“Screep!” I tried to pull away, giggling. Flapping my wings in an attempt to pull us apart, we tumbled to the floor, and plowed right through the coffee table. I used the momentum to bounce us end over end until I managed to pin her.

“Achoo!”

“Oh, gross!” Scootaloo squirmed beneath me. “Get off!”

I managed a grin and let her wiggle for a few seconds before getting off of her. “That’ll teach you to ambush your platoon commander.”

She hastily wiped herself down with the tissues. “You better not have gotten me sick. Rainbow Dash was going to take me to a Wonderbolts show this week.”

“It takes more than a week for feather flu to set in.” I ruffled my wings and hopped back onto the couch.

“Really?” Scoots tilted her head. “Awesome! Then maybe I’ll get sick just in time to miss that big test we’re having a few weeks from now.”

I giggled. “You really think that would stop Miss Cheerilee? You’d just end up taking it when you get back.”

“Yeah….” Scootaloo kicked the clouds. “Oh, well. I can handle some feather flu.”

“It’ll be easy for you,” I huffed. “You have feathers already. All you got to worry about is some shedding. Me?” I flared my wings out. “See these bumps? They’re all the spots where feathers are growing in. Really painful. Really gross. Extra super itchy.”

As if to prove a point, one of the bumps began to tingle. I arched my head to try and scratch it, but couldn’t reach it with the cone restricting me.

“Argh! Stupid cone!” I bit at the plastic feverishly as it denied me relief.

“Why don’t you just take it off?” She frowned. “It looks like your parents didn’t even lock it.”

My fangs scraped at the plastic in frustration. “Because as much as I hate it, it’s a good thing.”

“Good for what? Making you miserable?” Scootaloo’s wings buzzed irritably. “Besides, it makes you look stupid.”

The itching suddenly worsened for a moment before the bump popped in a rush of fluids. I shivered at the feeling, and quickly grabbed the tissue box from Scoots to clean myself.

“That’s why. Imagine getting a mouthful of that.” I held the soggy white and grey clump of tissues out to her. “Trust me, it tastes even worse than it looks”

She eyed the tissues warily. “Really glad I just got the snot right now.”

“I know, right?” I grinned. “You really dodged a bullet.”

“Faster than a speeding tank!” Scoots puffed out her chest.

“Wanna bet?” I tried to puff my own chest out only to cough. “Sergeant—“ Another cough. “—Sergeant Smiles has been giving me a few lessons on the side.”

I hacked my lungs out for a couple more seconds before frowning. “Or maybe you should go.” My ears wilted. “I am sick after all.”

“Eh.” Scootaloo shrugged. “You probably got me already. Want to play some board games or something?”

I smiled weakly as I sniffled a little. “Sounds like fun.”





I sighed in relief as the last of the feathers fell from my wings. Stretching them, I flapped them a bit to feel the air on my skin, and I giggled madly when there was none of the ticklish sensation of feathers.

“I’m free! I’m free! Screeheeheeheehee!” I bounced around the living room.

“That’s wonderful, Night.” Mom sniffled from the lounger. “Do you think you can help your father and I now that you’re all better?”

“Platoon Commander Nightingale is on the job!” I yanked the sun-blasted cone from my neck and threw it in the corner. “Don’t need this anymore!”

“Lucky son of a…” Dad grumbled several words I wasn’t allowed to say—picking at his own hated cone.

“Don’t make me come over there.” Mom threw a piece of the lounger at him.

“There’s enough room for two,” Dad chuckled and patted the seat next to him on the couch. “I just know you’re itching for somepony to preen your wings for you.”

“I’d love to—” Mom coughed. “—but I think I’ll wait a bit. I’d rather you didn’t blow all your fluids on me.”

Dad roared with laughter and spread his bumpy feather-coated wings. “Afraid of a little blood, dear? I thought you were in the guard?”

“I can deal with a little blood just fine.” Mom grinned as she grabbed a few tissues from the box next to her.

“That pus is extra, super gross.” I nodded. “What even makes it look all milky white?”

“I don’t know, Night, and I have a feeling it’s better that way.” Dad shook his head, chuckling. “Feather flu pus is probably one of the worst things I’ve ever tasted. Not quite the worst, but close to it.”

“What could possibly be worse?” I stared at Dad, eyes wide.

“They give you any guard rations yet in the Junior Guard?” Dad smiled sinisterly.

Mom threw another piece of the lounger at Dad. “Now isn’t the time for messing with your daughter, dear.” She looked to me. “Do you think you can handle making some soup? I’ll be right here to give you all the instructions you need.”

“You can count on me!” I saluted.

“Good.” Mom nodded. “First things first. You’ll need to fly out to Fluttershy’s. I used the last of our chicken making yesterday’s batch.”

“Huh!” I gasped, dancing on the tips of my hooves. “You mean you’re finally gonna teach me to make chicken noodle?!”

Mom smiled as I started bouncing about. “Yes, Night. Your father and I had a talk last night, and we agreed you were ready.” She grimaced for a moment. “Although, I certainly hope it ends up better than when your grandmother taught me.”

Dad laughed. “I remember that! Mom was so mad I volunteered to give you your homework when I knew you had the feather flu.”

“She came over to my house and made a scene just to guilt me into helping.” Mom snorted. “Really makes me wonder sometimes. I mean, she had to have figured we’d end up crushing on each other down the road. Why else would she have taught me to make chicken noodle?”

“To punish you, of course!” Dad gave a rumbling chuckle. “You beat up her precious little colt every week. She was dying to see you scream like a banshee when she pulled the chicken out.”

“She really underestimated me then.” Mom rolled her eyes.

“Yes. Yes, she did.” Dad hummed. “She didn’t believe me when I said you’d be back within a couple of minutes.”

“I had to make sure I didn’t throw up!” Mom huffed only to end up coughing. “Anyways.” She looked back at me. “Yes, I’ll be teaching you to make chicken noodle for the next few days. It’s so rare for you and your father to get sick that I don’t know when we’ll get another chance.”

“Screeheehee!” I did a little loop before bolting for the door. “Be right back, then!”





I sipped at the bowl of soup—my soup—and hummed in appreciation. Sure, the flavors were simple, but it just felt so good to have the soup’s warmth spread through my body.

“Oh… that’s the stuff….” Dad shuddered as took a sip. “She made it just like her grandma.”

“It’s not as good as Mom’s, though….” I pouted.

“But it is.” Mom pulled me into a hug only to turn away and sneeze. “I’ve been trying for years to make it just like your grandma, Night. Must be a thestral thing.” She pulled me back in tighter. “You did a great job.”

“Thanks.” I snuggled a bit closer, sticking my head in the crook of her neck. “It was really weird to gut a chicken, though.”

“Isn’t it?” Mom laughed. “I mean, you wouldn’t expect dead animals to make such good broth.”

“I’m just thankful Fluttershy gave me those tips.” I squirmed a bit. “They were really useful.” Also, detailed. Far too detailed. She almost made me want to go home without the chicken.

“Aye. She’s an understanding mare, that Fluttershy.” Dad hummed as he took another sip. “Experienced too. She didn’t even bat an eye when I asked her for chicken instead of the usual last week.”

“Perhaps we should share the recipe with her?” Mom was careful not to spill any of her own bowl on me as we cuddled. “I’m sure some of her critters would just love it.”

I drained the last of my bowl, licking up every last drop. “You think Miss Cheerilee would want to do a lesson on making chicken noodle soup in school?”

Mom put her own bowl in front of me—all the tasty bits of chicken left on the bottom just for me. “Sorry, Night, but you know you’re only allowed to make this when somepony is sick.”

“Can I make some for Scootaloo, then?” I pouted, turning on the puppy dog eyes. “She’s probably gonna get sick any day now with how much she’s been over. She even sneezed a couple times yesterday!”

Mom chuckled. “Sure, as long as you tell her what it is before you feed it to her.” She ruffled my mane. “You’ll also probably want to fish out all the chunks of chicken for her.”

Get rid of the chicken? But— But—

“But the chicken is the best part!” I whined.

“For you and me, maybe,” Dad rumbled. “It’s different for other ponies, though. You didn’t think your mother left you all her chicken just because you’re our special little star, did you?”

“Maybe….” I squirmed, looking at Mom. “What’s so wrong with chicken? You liked the broth! You eat Dad’s bugs!”

Mom hugged me tight. “Nothing is wrong with chicken, Night. I’m sure if you made it more often I’d like it as much as I like your father’s insect dishes, but I just can’t get used to it with how rarely it’s made.”

“Alright, then…” I sighed. “I guess I’ll just fish out all the chicken for myself when it’s done. Can we at least start it tonight?” I looked up at Mom, pouting.

“Maybe you should wait until you know she’s sick.” Mom wrapped her wings around me. “I’m sure she’ll love it, though.”

“Fine….” I sulked, ears flattening and body slumping.

Besides, I bet some healthy, hearty chicken noodle might even help her wings grow. Just had to be careful she didn’t overdo it. You are what you eat, after all.
> Love Bites
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I bit into my juice box and gave a mighty schlurp, leaving it a hollow husk of a thing. When I was sure it was good and empty, I spat it out into my saddlebags below. I surveyed the rest of recess from my vantage point, dangling from my tree, looking for any tasty morsels to be found.

Sadly, there were no bugs in sight to snack on. It was still a little too cold, and I could spy hints of snow the sun had missed. Winter Wrap Up had come and gone, but spring wasn’t really all here yet.

Oh, well. Home cooking was just as good in its own way.

“Sweetie, toss me my cricket kabob, would you?”

The unicorn in the shade beneath me nodded around a mouthful of her peanut butter sandwich. She held up a hoof to ask for a second, and picked up her thermos to wash it down with some milk.

All too slow for Diamond, who just snorted and stood to head towards my bag.

“I got it.” She started rummaging through my belongings. Her rump somehow managed to imperiously stick itself into the air while her snout was incapable of doing so.

She shuffled around for a few seconds before popping up with a baggie housing not one, but two sticks’ worth of crickets. She looked up at me, bag in mouth, and she blinked as she came to realize just why I’d asked Sweetie to get my lunch.

“Please don’t actually throw—“

“Catch!” She tossed the bag towards me.

“Screep!” It fell a little short, and I fumbled with the bag as it dropped through my hooves. I had to lunge my head forward and catch it in my mouth with a snap, a bit of mango juice trickling down my neck as my fangs pierced the plastic.

“Mmmrmf….” Lifting it back up, I spat it into my hooves and frowned. “Thanks, Diamond.”

“What? You managed to catch it.” She sniffed.

“I almost didn’t.” As I opened the bag, I was careful to watch for it falling apart further.

“But you did.” She stuck her tongue out at me, so I threw the bag sans one kabob back at her.

“Eeep!” She somehow managed to catch it, but cringed as the sticky mango juice mingled with her fur.

“Well, then. As thanks for getting it for me, you can have one.” I winked. “You like mangoes, right? Besides, sharing is caring.”

“Umm….” She looked between me and the kabob before tentatively pulling the stick out.

“Oooh!” Scoots was suddenly looking on with interest. “Are you actually thinking about doing it, you chicken?”

“Nah.” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Ain’t no way she’d ever do it. She already suffered through a juice box on Night’s first day here.”

“They aren’t that bad.” I flicked an ear and pouted. “I don’t know why you guys hate them so much.”

“No offense, but those juice boxes are an affront to nature.” Silver nibbled on her crackers and cheese.

“Yeah….” Sweetie’s face turned green. “I still sometimes have that nightmare where I drown in the stuff. I don’t know how you stomach them.”

I tore a cricket off my kabob, deciding it better not to respond. There were just some fights I couldn’t win, and we’d all had this song and dance before. Another second or two and Diamond would toss me back the—

Crunch.

I blinked, mouth opening in astonishment at the sight of Diamond biting into the stick, eyes screwed shut and face wrinkled for the worst. The bit of cricket I’d been chewing fell out of my mouth to splatter in Sweetie’s mane, but she was too busy gaping at Diamond to notice.

Indeed, the whole schoolyard was staring, although Diamond couldn’t see it as she pulled the stick out—wood audibly scraping against her clenched teeth. She took her time chewing, face twitching at each crunch of chitin. Her entire body gave an involuntary shudder.

“Oh, Celestia, it actually tastes good.” She tried to wipe any remnants of cricket guts and mango juice from her tongue. “I’ve never tasted something so horribly wrong yet so horribly right in my entire life, and I’ve tried a lot of different foods at a bunch of my dad’s business dinners.”

She fell still as she noticed the whole school watching.

“What?” Diamond snorted, holding up the kabob. “You want some? There’s plenty left!”

Everypony else quickly busied themselves with whatever they had been doing before, all whistling as they made themselves scarce. The only one who didn’t turn away was the last pony I felt like dealing with. He squirmed a bit, watching us until Pipsqueak whistled extra loudly and slugged him in the shoulder.

Rumble glared for a second at his partner in crime before he began to edge forward. I ruffled my wings and glared a little, but that only seemed to speed up his approach.

“Uhh… can I try?” He was sweating under all our gazes, and slicked back his shiny black mane with a hoof.

My frown deepened a little, but I said nothing. It was Diamond’s to share now if she wanted. There was no way she would, though. Rumble had that stupid gel in his hair again—he had been for the past few weeks—and he smelled like… something… something bad…. I didn’t know what it was, but it burned my nose and made my eyes feel all watery.

And I wasn’t the only one who had a problem with it. Some fillies laughed at him, while others actually recoiled from the smell—their cheeks burning black as they pointed and whispered.

Even Scoots seemed repulsed. I could see her squirming below me as Rumble waited for an answer, cheeks just a little darker than normal.

“Can I try some?” Rumble glanced around us all, eyes lingering on Scootaloo and me.

Oh, Luna. Was he getting bolder from seeing Scoots? The jerk! He knew how sick he made everypony else! He was even strutting a bit more because of it! I was so going to bite him this Sunday when we were sparring.

“Why do you want it?” Diamond frowned at Rumble, but she wasn’t saying no for some reason.

“I’m curious.” He nodded to the kabob. “I mean, Night says her mom eats stuff like that all the time. It can’t be as bad as everypony makes it out to be.”

Diamond squinted at him. “Hrmmm… Tell you what. You want it, then you need to wash it down with one of Night’s juice boxes.”

“Hey!” I squeaked. “That’s my juice! Don’t I get a say in—“

One of Apple Bloom’s apples clunked me in the head.

“Uhh…” Rumble squirmed beneath my evil eye. “I’m not quite that curi—“

A pebble from Pip pelted him in the side.

“I mean, sure!” The loon’s grin was so brittle I could have shattered it with a single buck.

“I don’t want a stupid colt drinking my juice!” I whined quietly to Diamond as she started searching my bag.

“Of course you don’t.” She looked up at me with a smirk. “But neither will he once he’s had a sip. Trust me, his face will make giving up a little snack worth it.”

“You did look kinda funny when you tried it,” I giggled. “Alright, I guess I can go along with this.”

“Uhh… I can hear you, you know.” Rumble was sweating again. “If you really don’t want me drinking your juice, Night—”

“No, no!” I bared my fangs in a smile. “Please, be my guest.”

“I don’t think—“

“I dare you!”

“I’m not sure—“

“I double-dog— No, I triple-dog dare you!”

Several ponies gasped. Jumping right to the triple was mean and dirty of me, but if Rumble wanted to play, then I was going to play.

“Oh, yeah! Well fine, then!” He stomped a hoof and flared his wings. “If that’s what you want, I’ll do it!”

Grabbing the kabob from Diamond, he ate the whole thing in two bites—almost shoving the stick down his throat. The juice box was next. He grabbed the straw and I started to smirk. The wimp. Then he viciously stabbed the box a couple times and tossed the straw over his shoulder. Throwing back his head, he chugged the box, squeezing every last drop of juice out with one hoof.

Victorious, he crumpled the box even further and tossed it at my hooves.

“Happy now?” He glowered.

“No.” I glared in kind.

We stood there at a stand off, stances wide, wings flared. I dwarfed him in every sense, casting him completely in shadow as my wings unfurled, but the insubordinate foal insisted on standing his ground as always.

Of course, he wouldn’t start a fight. He had learned not to do that fast enough, but he always pushed the line.

It took him longer than usual, but he finally turned away with a huff. “I don’t even know why I try.”

I snorted, but said nothing. He could say that all he wanted, but he was the one who kept trying to butt heads with me. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if he had some buffalo in his family tree.

He stomped a hoof. “Every time I try to get to know you better you just try to bite my head off.”

Wait. What? Was he crying? Why did he have tears in his eyes?

“Well, you know what? Buck you!” He turned back to me, flaring his wings. “Being the coolest filly in school doesn’t give you the right to be a jerk to me all the time!”

What was he talking about? I wasn’t that cool. Scoots was cool. Bloom was cool. Sweetie was cool. Diamond should be cool. I just hung with all the cool fillies, that didn’t make me cool.

“All I want to do is ask you on a date! Why do you have to make it so hard?!”

It took a moment for his words to sink in, another for me to realize I hadn’t misheard. It took a third for me to open my mouth and quite a few more for me to remember I could close it.

His own eyes went wide at the admission, and he clamped his mouth shut, squirming for a second or two before he bolted for the schoolhouse.

“He wanted to what?” I squeaked, suddenly feeling very small beneath the eyes of every foal in school. Some glared at me, while others looked on in pity. A few thankfully mirrored my look of utter confusion, but they were few and far between.

“He wanted to ask ya out, ya batty loon.” Pip was one of the ones glaring. “Wanted to ever since you moved in! Don’t tell me you were daft enough not to see it? I thought you were just playing hard to get.” With a huff, he turned and ran after his friend.

I turned to the girls. “You didn’t know about this, right? Please tell me I’m not the only one.”

“We thought you just weren’t interested.” The Crusaders shrugged.

“Horseapples….” I walked over to the tree and set my forehead on it. “I’m going to need to make this up to him, aren’t I? How the hay am I going to do that?”

“Well, I know one way.” Diamond’s smile was downright predatory, like a falcon finally seeing a chance to snag its prey. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course!” I squirmed at her smile, but there was no hesitance to my answer.

“Then you’re going to have to come over to my place after school. It’s time you finally bite the bullet and read—“ She  paused for effect. “—Cosmarepolitan!”

I began to hiss at the accursed name but stopped as I glanced at the schoolhouse again. “Fine…. But you better not be thinking what I think you’re thinking….”





“This is so much worse than anything I imagined.” I sulked as Sweetie’s sister stabbed my sides with pins and needles in front of Diamond Tiara’s personal full-body mirror.

The magazines had been a feint— No, a trap! When the other crusaders all made their excuses, I thought it had been for obvious reasons. Instead, Silver had recruited the worst possible pony for help, getting the rest of the Crusaders dragged right back in.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Diamond sniffed, idly flipping the page of her magazine. “We deal with so much worse on a daily basis thanks to Scoots, Sweetie, and Bloom.”

“Hey!” Scoots buzzed her wings irritably while Bloom and Sweetie just shrugged and nodded.

“I’ll take tree sap and pine needles over colts any day.” I flinched a little as Rarity pricked me again.

“They are a bit… smelly….” Apple Bloom wrinkled her face.

“Says the farmer,” Diamond huffed.

“And loud,” murmured Sweetie.

“Says the singer.”

“And rough,” Scoots coughed.

“Says the jock!” Diamond threw her hooves up momentarily, her magazine flapping wildly.

“Nice blush.” Silver turned a page of her own magazine, calm and collected as always. “Have you girls seriously never thought about going out with a colt as more than a friend?”

“No!” I squeaked indignantly.

“Well…” my backup faltered.

“Eurgh…” I growled a little. “Traitors, the lot of you…. Why can’t I just take him to Burger Princess?”

“Because I shan’t allow it!” The next pin poked a little harder as Rarity tutted. “First dates are magical things, and they should be treated as such. This is the first of many firsts for you, and it would be an insult to waste it.”

“But I’m only twelve!” I whined. “There’s no way this counts as a real date!”

“One can dream!~” Rarity singsonged. “Now perk up and stand still so I can get you properly fitted!”

“Maybe I should have asked somepony else for help, hrmmm?” Silver hummed as she flipped another page.

“You think?” I pouted. “The last thing I want is him thinking that I’m actually interested.”

“No! This is not a pity date, darling.” A measuring cord snapped against my flank with a whip crack. “You must give such love a chance to blossom. Celestia knows how many colts had their hearts set on me. Oh, how I regret never even acknowledging such things.” Rarity gave a sly wink. “Or you could just break his heart, you know. Clip his wings and leave him broken on the ground.”

I balked at that, hugging my wings as I winced. “But that’s not fair! I didn’t know!”

“Life isn’t fair.” Rarity gave a very unladylike snort. “I know for a fact one of your friends has been dealing with the fact that they have a crush on Rumble and he’s only interested in you. Does that seem fair?”

“Huh?” I squirmed a little and glanced at all the girls.

“Rarity!” Sweetie’s whine was high enough to shatter glass. “Don’t tell me you’ve been reading my diary again!”

“I will admit to no such thing,” Rarity hummed. “Though, may I suggest waiting to ask in a way that doesn’t incriminate yourself.”

Sweetie blushed. “I was told that in confidence!”

“Yes, and I’ve held your friend’s name back in confidence.” Rarity tutted. “I really must teach you all the ins and outs of gossip if you’re all going to act like this over something so small. I mean, really, this is mild compared to some of the nasty rumors you might have to deal with in the next few years.”

An awkward silence descended, the soft shuffle of fabric, the flip of magazine pages, and Rarity’s humming the only sounds to be heard. I glanced between my friends, wondering who was the one. It seemed I had a secondary objective in addition to making up with Rumble now, and gosh did it complicate my mission.

“So, how long until the dress is done?” I finally asked, fidgeting.

“It’ll be hours if you don’t keep still.” Rarity tsked. “Honestly, aren’t you trying to get into the guard? Where’s all that poise?”

“Not here,” I squeaked. “Guards don’t do dresses, they do—”

“Dress uniforms! Of course!” Rarity squealed. “Why didn’t I think of it before? Little dress uniforms for you, Sweetie, and all your little Junior Guard friends. It’ll be so cute!” She frowned. “Although, it’s too late to start yours now. We can tackle it next time, I suppose.”

“Me and my big mouth….”





As much as I hated to admit it, Rumble’s house was kind of cool. Murky black clouds made up most of the structure, crackling with little flashes of lightning. It was just enough to create a constant hum of electricity—a hum that was broken up by the occasional small rumble of thunder.

I whistled as I landed on the porch and a few sparks licked my hooves. A few strands of my mane stood on end, ruining the solid half-hour Rarity had sunk into it. Luckily, my dress just shimmered and shined as electricity danced across the metallic inlay.

Had Rarity planned this? It felt like she planned this. Knocking on the door, I scowled at the thought.

I waited about a minute like a tiny little scowling thunderstorm, and then the door opened to reveal Rumble’s brother. He glanced between me and something down the hall behind him a few times before arching his brow at me.

“Rarity?”

“Rarity.” I nodded tersely. “All I wanted was to take him to Burger Princess.”

“I think Rumble would like that.” He squinted at me. “Although, I’m a little worried you’ve done enough.”

“It’s not my fault,” I growled, and an extra bit of electricity crackled up my hackles.

“I didn’t say it was.” Thunderlane raised his hooves up in a shrug as he fluttered back a bit. Waving me inside, he continued, “Celestia knows, I’ve been there. There was this one filly who wanted a piece of me back when I was in school. She tossed me hints for years and I never noticed because I was such a featherbrain.”

“Whatever happened to her?” I carefully stepped inside, trying my best not to wrinkle the dress; stupid things were so easy to ruin.

“I married her.” Thunder shrugged, eyeing me as I squirmed in my dress. “You need to use the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Not even to cut yourself out of that dress?”

“Okay, maybe.”

I squirmed a little as he laughed. “Oh, I like you. It’s no wonder little Rumble fell head over hooves for you.”

“Oh, Luna, not you too…” I groaned.

“I promise I won’t bite. I’m sure Rarity already had her fill.” He grinned, leading me to the living room. “All I’m saying is that I see what he likes about you. I might help him a little, but I wouldn’t dream of telling you what to do. If you decide you don’t like him like that…” He shrugged. “…Well, there’s plenty of other birds in the sky. Although, there’s only one that drives him batty.”

I groaned, closing my eyes and edging myself onto the cloud couch. I wanted to just sink into the clouds, but I just knew it would ruin my stupid, stupid dress.

“You just wait there and I’ll go get Rumble,” Thunderlane chuckled. “He’s been moping in the shower ever since he got home.”

“Great, just what I needed to hear. More guilt tripping.” I scowled as Thunderlane retreated, and I kept scowling as I waited. “Does this stuff come with an instruction manual?” I asked the empty room. Lightning crackled over me, dancing across my dress as I sat like a statue, the perfect picture of attention.

“Night?” Rumble poked his head around the archway. “You actually—“ He froze as he saw me, pupils rapidly dilating.

“Berightbackleftsomethingintheshowerokaybye!” A small, pony-shaped thundercloud was all that was left after I blinked.

Yeah, on second thought, Rarity could bite me for all I cared.

I pulled the dress off as quickly as I could, my face burning darker than the storm clouds around me.





“Okay, Night.” Rumble had finally been coaxed back out of the shower by his brother. “What exactly are you here for?”

“Well, I’m here to apologize for starters.” I squirmed.

“Starters?” He tilted his head to the side.

“Yeah, after that I’m ponynapping you and forcing you on a date whether you want one now or not.”

“A date in that dress?!”

“No, not in that dress!” I snapped, baring my fangs and growling.

Thunderlane chuckled in the background.

I sighed. “Look, I don’t like you like you, but I owe it to you to try to. That means you’re going to come with me to Burger Princess, have a couple hayburgers and hayfries, and see what happens.”

“You mean it?!” His ears perked up.

“Yes, I mean it.” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t expect anything from it, though. I still think colts are kind of icky.”

“Aww….”

Horseapples, his ears were wilting again.

“You know, Rumble.” Thunderlane spoke up from where he was watching the two of us. “At the very least, you can come out of this as friends, and who knows what Night might think of you a year or two from now if you leave a good impression.”

Yes, Mom and Dad had said my cooties would betray me someday. It made me want to gag a little, thinking I might moon over Rumble like he was with me.

“Hrmmm…” Rumble gave a pensive frown for a moment or two. “Alright, then!”

He gave me a bright, cheery smile, and I just knew something would go wrong.





Walking into Burger Princess was a mistake. At least a quarter of the school was there from some sporting event, and they all turned from their meals to gawk at us.

“Screep!” I shrunk inward at all the attention, my plans of sourly glaring the whole time forgotten as I realized we had actual witnesses.

Witnesses who were not my friends—currently hiding in the bushes outside—and who I wouldn’t be able to swear to secrecy.

“Daaaang. He actually changed her mind.”

“Nah, she probably just pities him. Poor thing.”

“Shhh! They can hear you!”

“So?”

“You want Night going all commando on your flank?”

“Uh, you see her right now? I doubt she’ll be going commando anytime soon.”

“You hear that Rumble of thunder, though? Pretty sure her coltfriend is about to do it for her.”

“He’s not my coltfriend,” I murmured quietly into the floor.

“Night?” Rumble patted me on my withers. “Why don’t you wait outside and I’ll grab us something to go. You fine with a double hayburger?”

“Extra pickles and lettuce. Mango slices instead of fries.” Wow, there were a lot of dots on the vinyl tiles. I wonder if I could count them all.

Shuffling out the door, I ignored the whispering in the bushes, and made my way to a nearby tree to hide in shame. Dangling by my tail, I completely wrapped myself in my wings—a leathery black cocoon—and started counting the number of ponies who stopped and stared with a number of clicks and whistles.

For every one I counted, I promised myself I’d bite Rumble again on Sunday.

Maybe over a few Sundays. There were a lot of ponies staring and my neck was burning up and, oh Luna, it was getting hot in here.

Throwing my wings open, I took a couple gasping breaths before retreating again as yet more ponies started staring.

Sun-blasted day dwellers.

“Uhh… Night? I got you your food.”

Oh, wonderful. The source of all my shame was back. Too bad I couldn’t bite him here and now.

I furtively opened a hole in my cocoon and peered out at him. The jerk was smiling sheepishly with a paper bag on his back, rubbing the back of his head with one hoof.

Horseapples. I remember when I thought that smile was just him being a cocky piece of—

Breathe. Breathe. Calm down.

Now dive the featherbrain and take the food.

“Scree!”

“Ah! Night! What are you doing?!”

Settling back on the tree, I tossed his food to him and started nibbling mine. He gave me a look of some kind before snorting and rolling his eyes, unrolling his hayburger and taking a bite.

“Mmmm… I’m so glad we went here instead of someplace fancy,” Rumble chuckled. “I was a little worried when I saw the dress that you were going to—“

“What dress?” I glowered.

“Nothing.” Now he smirked, the cheeky jerk. “My mistake. I clearly just imagined you in the most shocking dress I’ve ever seen.”

“Keep on talking.” I squinted at him, ignoring the burning in my cheeks. “I already have a running tally of how many bites this’ll cost you.”

“You’d bite me either way,” he huffed.

“Maybe you’ve just got a really long tally.”

“And maybe you just need to take a chill pill.”

“Oh, come on already!” Sweetie poked her head out of the whispering bush. “Just kiss and make up.”

I hissed at her and she hastily ducked back down. Thankfully, her interruption let us get back to our food.

Mmmm…. Mangoes. A couple minutes later, and we were sipping the last dregs of our drinks, and I was more than ready to go home for the night.

Except… had it really been that bad?

“So… same time next week?” I cringed as the words left my mouth. “As friends? I’ll bring the girls. You bring Pip and Feather. We all grab some burgers and maybe see a movie?”

Rumble gave me a long look. “I suppose that’s the best I can ask for?”

“Yes?” I squeaked a little higher than normal.

“I’ll take it.” He shrugged.

“Noooooooo!” Sweetie poked out of the bush again, throwing both her hooves in the air. “Come on! You gotta at least kiss or Rarity will be hounding me to do something!”

“Yeeeeeeees!” Scoots started loop-de-looping, wings buzzing furiously.

“Well, that answers that question.” I murmured, staring at Scoots’ acrobatic display. It was probably the most stunts I’ve ever seen her pull without getting worn out. Turns out, I didn’t even have to run reconnaissance.

Guess I knew my newest mission.

“What question?” Rumble went straight for the briar patch, of course.

“Nothing.” I shook my head before perking my ears. “Actually? Ask your brother about it. He knows.”

“If you say so.” Rumble squirmed. “No goodnight kiss, though, right?”

My glower was dark enough to eclipse the sun.
> To Swoon Like a Loon Under Moon
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Moooooooom!”

My lungs heaved, my wings beating furiously as I surged forward with each flap. The house was finally in view, and I pushed myself harder, my voice nearly breaking the sound barrier.

“Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!”

I burst into the living room—completely missing the door—and latched onto my oldest and greatest bastion of hope.

“Mom, you have to help me!”

“What is it, Night?” She gave me a soft, feathery hug. “Did something happen at school?”

“Uh-huh!” I nodded into her fur, inhaling the scent of roses and honey as I tried to calm down.

“Something big?” she soothed.

“Really big!” I squeaked.

“Really, really big?” She ran a hoof through my mane.

“Really, really, really big!” I tried to get closer.

“Big enough to merit leaving a hole in the wall?” she chuckled.

I froze mid-nuzzle at her tone. “...Oops?”

“I thought so,” Mom sighed. “Give me a minute to fix the house and then we’ll talk.”

She pulled away, and I quickly scrambled onto the couch. Her candle and book had been knocked to the floor, so she picked them up and set them on the table beside her lounger. Tufts of cloud littered the room from my entrance—remains of the wall and coffee table.

Humming, she gathered them all up and pushed them into the wall, sculpting the resulting bulge until it seamlessly filled the hole.

“There, all better.” Mom’s smile turned into a frown. “Though we are going to need some new clouds to replace the coffee table.”

“Sorry….” I squirmed from my spot on the couch.

“Oh, don’t be sorry, sweetie!” Mom swept me back into another hug. “This was easily fixed, and everypony makes mistakes.” She booped my nose, and I couldn’t help but giggle. “You should see what Princess Twilight does when she panics.”

“Still…” I squeezed Mom tighter for a moment. “…I should know better.”

“Night…”

Mom sighed, but said nothing more. We sat for a minute or two as she brushed my mane with her hoof. I wriggled a little, but didn’t fight her embrace, humming appreciatively at her soft touch.

“You ready to tell me what had you so worked up?” Mom whispered.

“Mhmm….” I’d been ready for a while, staying silent just to avoid ruining the moment.

“I’m listening, then.” She pulled back a little to look me in the eyes.

“I—” I bit my lip. “Rumble asked me to the Hearts and Hooves dance, and I said yes.”

“Oh, Night, that’s wonderful!” Mom’s ears perked up and she smiled. “My little filly on a date at a dance….”

“Mom!” I squeaked. “This isn’t good! I don’t like like Rumble. I thought we solved this. I thought he got it!” I squinted my eyes shut and buried my face in her coat again. “And I couldn’t say no because he asked me in front of everypony!

“I tried to,” I sniffled, “but I didn’t want to burst the clouds under his hooves. The whole school was watching….”

“From what you’ve told me of him, I think he could have dealt with it,” Mom chuckled.

“I didn’t want to risk it…” I murmured.

“How did Scootaloo take it, hrmm?” Mom rocked me back and forth.

“She-yea-eaahh—” I yawned, rubbing my eyes. “She was quiet. Too quiet. And she stayed that way all day.”

“Well, it sounds like in saving one pony’s feelings, you hurt another’s.” Mom squeezed me tighter.

“That’s the—” I shook myself, fighting off another yawn and pouting at Mom. “That’s the problem. Also, stop it before I fall asleep on you.”

“Sorry.” The rocking stopped. “Old habits.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Mom, what do I do?”

“Your best, of course.”

“Mom.”

She sighed. “I think you should have a talk with Scootaloo and Rumble about this. You’re all big ponies. You should be able to have a discussion like adults.”

“Is that all you got?” I whimpered.

“I have faith in you, my little star.” She nuzzled me. “You’re more than mature enough to be the voice of reason for both you and your friends.”

I giggled. “Have you met Scootaloo and Rumble?”





“Why am I here again?” Diamond arched her brow at me.

“You’re my backup, of course!” I grinned, briefly glancing towards the door of Sugarcube Corner. Heavy rain washed against the walls, drumming through the near-empty store as we talked.

“You want me to help you out of your mess?” Her brow rose higher and she tilted her head a little.

I just pouted, and she squinted at me for several moments.

“Fine…” she harrumphed, crossing her hooves and looking away. “You owe me one for this, though. It would have been so much easier if you had just told him no, you know.”

“I know.” I squirmed a little. “That was my bad.”

“So you admit this is your mess?” Diamond smirked.

“Yes, Your Highness.” I rolled my eyes. “I admit this is all my fault. Clearly, I should be court martialed.”

“Hey guys!” Rumble walked through the door and shook the rain from his wings, piling into the booth. “Rough weather out there. I’m surprised you still wanted to hang today. Are the others here?”

“No, it’s just us.” I glanced around Sugarcube Corner again. It was about as empty as we could hope for, and we had the corner booth for privacy. An evil, Pink monstrosity even patrolled the perimeter, shooing away other customers from our side of the store.

With a wink and a wave, Pinkie momentarily retreated into the back, only to immediately come back out with a tray holding three milkshakes. With unnerving speed, the sugary demon placed them before us and went back to zooping around the store.

Like always, my mango-caterpillar shake had a candy-coated butterfly on a stick instead of an umbrella. I picked it out, and snapped the snack up in a single bite.

Dark chocolate, orange, and… a monarch butterfly? Mmmm… that’s tasty. Too bad I was here on business.

I took a sip of my shake—straight from the glass, ignoring the straw—and waited for Rumble to situate himself. Of course, he saw fit to mimic me and almost dropped his glass.

“Gah! That’s cold!” he rasped, fumbling his chocolate shake before quickly setting it down. He massaged his temples and whimpered for a moment before asking, “Oooph… how do you do that, Night?”

“You ask that every time.” I gave him a mini scowl. “And every time I tell you I just do it. If you haven’t got it down by now, maybe you should stop torturing yourself.”

“How can I when you always say straws are for wimps?” He grinned. “Can’t let you be thinking that about me now, can I?”

I had to fight not to roll my eyes and pointed to my backup. “Do you see me calling Diamond a wimp?”

She responded by demurely taking a sip from her cinnamon shake, lips somehow pouting around the straw as she fluttered her eyelashes.

“Err….” Rumble squirmed under her gaze. “Diamond’s probably one of the last ponies I’d ever call a wimp.”

“Good answer.” There was a brief flare of fire in Diamond’s eyes, and she took her next sip straight from the glass. “I’d hate to have to prove you wrong.”

Wow. Not even a shiver. That was impressive for a first-timer raised with a swirly straw and a silver spoon in her mouth.

“No way….” Rumble gaped. “Have you been practicing in secret or something? What’s the trick to it?”

“No, I haven’t been practicing!” Diamond’s cheeks darkened. “Much….” She whispered the second part so quietly I could barely hear it. “Anyways, we’re not here for a milkshake drinking contest!”

“Well, there’s not much to do other than snack on stuff and hang. A milkshake drinking contest doesn’t sound so bad, honestly.” Rumble shrugged. “Unless you two want to go back out in the storm, that is. We could go see a movie like normal, but I’m not really in the mood for dancing in the rain today.”

“Yeah,” I coughed, “I’m fine with just chilling. Speaking of dancing, though, I… umm… I wanted to talk to you about the dance next week.”

“Really?!” He got this stupid goofy grin on his face, but it quickly turned sheepish as he began to rub the back of his head. “Wait…. You’re not going to tell me you changed your mind, are you? I know you don’t like me like me. I’m fine just going as friends, you know.”

“You can do that?” I gaped, and Diamond elbowed me in the ribs.

“Of course we can!” Rumble beamed. “Thunder used to go to school dances with Blossomforth all the time!”

This… wasn’t good. I had been hoping saying I just wanted to be friends with him would get him to back off. Guess I needed another approach.

“Isn’t he married to Blossomforth?” I squirmed, trying to buy time.

“Yeah….” Horseapples, that stupid grin of his was back.

I looked to Diamond for help, but she just shrugged and set her hoof on mine. The moral support was nice, but I’d been looking for more than that when I said she was my backup.

“Look, Rumble…” I looked everywhere but at the pegasus in front of me. “I can’t go with you to the dance.”

“Wha— Why?!” Oh, no. He was pouting again. I could hear it.

“I… err… that is…” I guzzled most of my milkshake to buy time. “Argh! Brain freeze!” I doubled over and rubbed my temples.

“I believe Night is trying to say it’s not a good idea.” There! That was some good backup, Diamond.

“It could be!” Rumble stomped a hoof on the table.

Uh-oh…. That was his insubordination voice. I had to head that off fast…. What could I possibly—

“Well, too bad for you, then!” Diamond huffed, her grip on my hoof becoming vice-like. “She doesn’t want to! She only said yes because she didn’t want you doing this in front of the whole school. Besides, I already asked her like two weeks ago and she said yes.”

“Wha—“ I was swiftly and mercilessly elbowed in the side.

“What?!” Rumble gaped at me.

“We’re… err…” I stuttered, Diamond’s hoof tightening more and more as I scrambled for an answer. “We’re going as friends?” I glanced at Diamond and received a subtle nod. “She… uhh… asked me because she wasn’t comfortable asking anypony else with her history.”

‘Liar, liar, flank on fire!’ I could hear it coming from a mile away as Rumble opened his mouth to—

“Eurgh… who am I supposed to go with, then?” I blinked as his defiant scowl was replaced with wilting ears and wringing hooves. “Pip and Feather both got dates, so I can’t just chill with them.”

Was he really going to just buy that load of— No. No complaining. Just go with the skein. Do not question Diamond’s little miracle.

“You could just get a date of your own?” Diamond arched an eyebrow.

“With who? My admirers?” Rumble snorted. “Most of them aren’t really…” He waved a hoof trying to find the words. “…on the level of me and Night. I want to go with somepony who can keep up with me.”

Now! Now was my chance!

“What about Scootaloo?!” I lunged forward, planting both hooves on the table.

The glasses on the table shook and rattled in the ensuing silence. My smile faltered as Rumble looked at me like I’d grown a second head, and Diamond just tutted in the background.

“What about Scoots?” Rumble eyed me a little warily. “I mean, she’s a nice friend and all, but I’m pretty sure she’s not into me like that.”

By the stars, he was so dense. How had I ever been that dense when he’d been crushing on me? Now that I had a better idea of what to watch out for… Were ponies just supposed to be oblivious? There had to be a manual somewhere; I just hadn’t found it yet.

“You can just ask her to go as a friend.” My backup was on the case again. “That’s what you wanted to do with Night, right? I know for a fact that Scootaloo wasn’t planning on asking anypony herself.”

“I—“ Rumble licked his lips. “I could do that. You don’t think she’d find it too sappy, do you?”

I took a deep breath. “Rumble, I think going to the dance with you is exactly what Scootaloo needs. Trust me when I say she’ll love it.”

Alright, he was smiling again. Good.

Now I just had to survive going to the dance with Diamond.





My ears fell flat as I looked at myself in the mirror. “I look stupid….”

“You look stunning.” Mom picked up a brush and began running it through my mane.

“No, I look stupid,” I whined. “Dresses are stupid. Why do I need to wear a dress?!”

“Because it’s your first formal dance,” Mom said, trying to sooth my nerves. “Everypony will be dressed up, including your date—”

“She’s not a date!” I pouted, stomping a hoof.

“—and you know Diamond is going to be a stickler for these things. How much was she talking about her dress this week?”

“A-a lot….” I squirmed.

It was true. She’d been bragging all week that she had just the perfect gown—which meant I needed an almost perfect gown to go with hers—but all I had was the dress Rarity made for my ‘date’ with Rumble. Something was… off… about it, though, and I had to figure out what before she got here.

“How’s my little light in the night doing?” Dad poked his head in the room, and I shrunk a little in my dress.

“Nervous…” Mom sighed. “She keeps insisting she looks stupid in a dress.”

“I do, though!” I pouted.

“You do not!” Mom snorted, continuing to brush my mane. “You’re absolutely beautiful, dear.”

“Aye,” Dad chuckled. “You really are quite a sight, Night. If you were taking a colt, I’d have to scare the living moonshine out of him.”

I frowned, saying nothing.

“If you’re that dead set on something else, though, I have a surprise for you.” Dad moved further into the room, revealing a bag on his back. “I thought you might not like having to wear some frilly dress, so I went and ordered you something else from Rarity.”

“Tempered… we talked about this.” Mom fixed Dad with a glare.

“I know we did.” Dad gave a rumbling laugh. “That’s why I used my own personal savings. It wasn’t that much, and she deserves it with how well she’s been doing.”

“You spoil her sometimes.” Mom shook her head, smiling.

“You know you love it when I do.” He smiled.

“You see me stopping you?” she laughed.

“What is it? What is it?!” I squeaked, craning my head to try and peek in the bag.

“Well, I figured you might appreciate your very own—” Smirking, he reached into the bag. “—dress uniform!”

“No way! Really? Screeheeheeheehee!” I almost tore the dress off as I sprinted towards Dad for a closer look.

There was a coat that had a slightly shimmery silver color to it with charcoal epaulets. A dark, almost black, sash and pants hung underneath it, while an actual, honest-to-goodness pickelhaube balanced on top of the hanger.

“Night, careful!” Mom had to toss the brush aside to catch the dress. “Whether or not you like it, this is both a beautiful dress and a gift. You need to treat it better.”

“Sorry, Mom.” I swirled and poked at the floor with a hoof. “I just got a little overexcited.”

“Like father, like daughter, I guess,” Mom chuckled.

“I’ve never worn a dress in my life!” Dad roared with laughter.

“No, but I certainly remember you hating suits.” Mom set my dress down where it wouldn’t get in the way.

“Why do you think I got her this?” Dad put the uniform back and handed me the bag. “There’s nothing as good-looking as a pony in uniform. My little filly is going to be the sharpest pony at the dance.”

“Oh, horse—” I cut myself off at a pointed glance from Mom. “Ponyfeathers, look at the time. Diamond is going to be here soon. Out. Out!” I nudged an amused Mom and Dad out of my room. “I’ll call you both back in when I get this on.”

“You sure you don’t want help?” Mom called through the door.

“I’ll be good!” I called back. “It’s not a Luna-forsaken dress! I might need you to redo my mane, though!”

“Somepony is excited for her date,” Dad whispered just loud enough for me to hear.

“It’s not a date….” I felt my cheeks heat up, and I grumbled to myself. I couldn’t help but grin, however, as I pulled the uniform out again.

“Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.”





The doorbell rang, and I strutted down the hall to the living room where my parents were waiting. When I walked into the room, Mom squealed and snapped a picture of me, all while Dad whistled and clapped in approval.

“Ooooh! My little filly is growing up so fast!”

“Looking real sharp, Night.” Dad grinned at my pickelhaube. “I might have to scare some colts off tonight whether you’re leaving with one or not.”

“Dad!” I whined, pouting.

“You think we should take a picture of her and Diamond together? Sure, they might say it’s not a date, but—“

“Mom!” I hissed. Blushing, I bolted through the door and threw myself into a glide, circling down slowly to give myself a chance to cool off.

“Parents giving you trou...” Diamond trailed off as I landed, mouth agape. “Okay, wow. This is a pleasant surprise. I wasn’t expecting you to go all out.”

“Well, I had to with you going like that.” I waved a hoof at her in her glittery masterpiece with all its ribbons and sparkly bits that lit up the night like a mini galaxy. “Are those gems enchanted to light up?”

“They are!” Diamond smirked, sticking her snout up in the air. “I paid good bits for that. You don’t think it’s too much, do you?”

“Not at all.” I smiled. “It’s nice and subtle, like a field of stars.”

Diamond giggled, waving her hoof at me. “Thank you. Sadly, flattery will get you nowhere. I’m going out with a friend tonight.”

“Don’t even joke about that!” I scrunched my face. “My parents have been joking about us dating all week.”

“At least I’m not a colt.” Diamond stuck her tongue out at me.

“So they love reminding me.” I rolled my eyes. “It got old real fast.” I glanced about, eager for a change of subject. “So, where are the others? I thought we were all going to meet beforehoof?”

Diamond shrugged. “They’re all freaking out at home—at least the girls are. I made sure to get ready extra early.”

“I guess we should just head over to the school, then?” I tilted my head to the side. “No telling when they’ll be done.”

“Sure.” Diamond smirked, giving a curtsy. “As long as my knight in shining armor is ready.”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” I rolled my eyes and bowed. “After you, then, milady.”





When Rumble walked into the schoolhouse, Scoots wasn’t with him. He smiled sheepishly as everypony stared before backing out for a moment and pushing a small squirming mass through the door.

Scootaloo squeaked as almost every filly in the room glared at her, shrinking inward even more. She grabbed Rumble’s foreleg as if it were a life line, and stared almost vacantly into the distance.

“Ah, somepony still thinks she’s dreaming.” Diamond giggled from her spot on the wall beside me. “Maybe you should go bite her.”

“I’d rather not.” I sipped at my punch. “I’m perfectly fine just spying on her and the others all night.”

“You mean like we did to you?”

“Turnabout is totally fair play.”

Scoots shook like a leaf as Rumble pulled her over to the snack table. She scarfed down some sandwiches and guzzled her punch until she had a coughing fit, her cheeks blackening from both lack of air and Rumble frettedly patting her on the back.

“Should we go over and help?” I glanced at Diamond.

“No, it’ll just make things worse.” She waved a hoof.

“Scoots is almost literally choking.”

“She’s a strong filly. Give her a chance.”

About half a minute of almost dying later, Scootaloo finally regained a little composure. She couldn’t look Rumble in the face, but she was, at the very least, breathing.

“So, you going to dance with me tonight?”

I blinked at Diamond’s question. “What?”

She shrugged. “Dance? The thing literally in the name of the event?”

“Err….” This was kind of… sudden…. “Do you want to?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Diamond sighed. “I mean, it is my first actual school dance. It’s fine if you don’t want to, though.”

Well, when she put it that way…

“I guess we could do that later, if you want.” I squirmed a little. “It’s not like friends can’t dance together.”

“Thanks,” Diamond murmured. “It really means a lot to— Oh my gosh! I think Rumble’s trying to get Scoots out on the floor. Look at her!”

Scootaloo had dug her hooves in as Rumble pushed her towards the dance floor from behind. Her eyes were wide. His eyes were furrowed. I could just see the stubbornness radiating off of him now.

“Yeah, she’s not winning that.” I took another sip of punch. “She totally egged him into one of his moods. Only way she’s going to avoid that dance floor is if she remembers she has a spine.”

With a lot of squeaks, whinnies, and grunts, the two of them finally scraped their way to the edge of the dance floor. When Scootaloo continued to freeze like Rumble’s brain on a triple milkshake binge, Rumble just sighed and started dancing on his own—awkwardly bumping Scootaloo every so often, as if a nudge would jumpstart her hooves into moving.

“Might need that dance a little sooner rather than later.” Diamond squinted at the pair. “If she’s not moving by now, she definitely needs a little encouragement.”

“Right now?” I blinked. “I… uh… don’t exactly know if I’ll be encouraging if we do that.”

“Well, you can’t be any worse than Scoots.” Diamond huffed, pulling herself away from the wall. “Come on! Let’s go!”

I stared after her for a second as she made her way onto the dance floor. “Of course she wants to help now….” I muttered to myself. “Plenty of training in the Junior Guard on how to do the heimlich. Nothing on dancing until you hit officer’s school.” Shaking my head, I set out to join my d— friend, weaving my way through several pairs of ponies to get across the room to the edge of the dance floor.

“Alright, how are we going to do this?” I whispered to Diamond, uneasily shifting from one hoof to another.

“Easy, like this.” Diamond grabbed my hoof and swept me onto the floor, giggling like a loon under moon.

I squeaked as she pulled me along in a series of spins—half graceful, half clumsy—and tried my best to match my hoofsteps with hers. She quickly slowed herself when it became obvious just how bad I was at keeping up, and she leaned herself into me to help guide me through all the steps.

“You know, slow dances usually get saved for coltfriends,” Diamond tittered, her dress glittering hypnotically as she slowly spun us around.

“Shut up.” I tried to squirm, but she had me in a vice grip.

“I can’t! You’re so easy sometimes!” She laughed for a bit before falling silent. “I’m really glad we met after I was… you know….”

“A bully?” I spoke softly, trying to keep my eye on both Scoots and Diamond.

Scoots was finally loosening up a little. She was twitching, at least, furtively glancing at me and Diamond. Rumble was perking up at the sight, trying to nudge her into actual motion more and more. Eventually, she started swaying, and then she started nudging him back. By the end of the song, they were basically doing full body contact, unarmed sparring with only a hint of actual dancing.

They were both laughing, though, so mission kind-of-sort-of accomplished.

Diamond, on the other hoof, had fallen silent.

“You okay?” I asked. She was slowing a little, so I gingerly took the lead. I regretted it almost immediately when I stepped on one of her hooves. It barely seemed to register to her, though. Her frown may have deepened a little, but she didn’t even flinch in pain.

“I’m fine….” She wasn’t.

I waited a little, and when she didn’t say anything more, I decided to try again. “You sure you’re alright? You don’t look it.”

“Yes, I just—“ She sighed. “Do you think we would be friends if you had met me back when I was a brat?”

I blinked, missing a step and trodding over my other hoof. “What? Why are you even asking that? Of course I’d still be your friend.”

“I don’t think you would….” Diamond looked down. “You’re nice and sweet and sensitive. I used to love picking on ponies like you.”

“You don’t now.”

“I did, though.” She squirmed, but I didn’t let her go. “And I have a feeling I would have kept going at you until I provoked that other side of you.”

“Other side?”

“The side full of fire and steel that doesn’t have a problem doing whatever it takes to set things right.”

“You aren’t making any sense….”

“I think I would have made you hate me—completely and utterly—and I really don’t like that thought.”

I spun Diamond a few more times, trying to think of something I could say.

“Anyways, thanks for listening. I know I’m just being stupid.” Before I could think of a proper response, Diamond pulled me into a hug. “It’s nice having somepony who doesn’t see a bully when looking at me. Even the other Crusaders sometimes slip.”

“Even Silver?” I stupidly said the first thing that came to mind.

Diamond giggled, squeezing tighter. “Okay, maybe I am being melodramatic. Thank you for that.”

We simply spun for a bit, forgetting to dance.

“Oh! You see that!” she squeaked.

“See wha—” I gaped as we spun enough for me to catch the tail end of Scoots pecking Rumble on the cheek.

He had frozen in shock, wings flaring out, blush blazing up his neck as he hurriedly looked about the room. As he caught sight of me, I smirked and stuck my tongue out at him while he opened and closed his mouth like a fish in need of water.

Then, he went out of view as Diamond and I spun, and she giggled. “I think he may have finally caught on. What do you think he’s gonna do?”

“Not my problem this time.” I rustled my wings a little, letting Diamond lead. When the two lovebirds came back into view, they were both staring at each other, squirming and not saying anything. “You know, this is so much more fun to wa—“

Aaaand he was booping her snoot with his.

“Nevermind…” I sighed. “Fun’s over. They decided to make it icky.”

“Let me see! Let me see!” Diamond sped up our rotation. “Aww… they make a cute couple!”

“We’re twelve.” I snorted. “We’re not ready for things like being a couple.”

“A pairing, then.” Diamond smirked.

“That doesn’t sound much better,” I grumbled.

“Spoilsport.” She stuck her tongue out at me. “You want to see what the others are up to?”

“Depends.” I squinted at her. “Are you planning on making sure they all leave the dance with special someponies rather than dates?”

“Maaaaybe!” Her smirk grew.

“Pass.” I took the lead to make sure she wouldn’t escape.

“You’re no fun.” She pouted.

“And you’re incor— incorri—“ I tripped on both words and hooves.

“Incorrigible!~” Sweetie singsonged as she passed us with Button Mash.

“That.” I nodded. “Clearly those Cosmarepolitans are rotting your brain.”

Diamond just tittered in response, and so I led her through the rest of the night.
> Standing Tall, Hanging Low
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

My limbs tingled as the halfway point came into view. It was a good feeling, and I wished I could just keep cantering on, but I knew what seeing the gate to Sweet Apple Acres meant. I looked to the sky—careful to avoid looking at the harsh, blazing sun on the horizon—and picked out Sergeant Smiles as she glided close by to keep an eye on us.

Her gaze swept over me and my troops, making sure we stayed in rank and file as I led us through our morning gallop. We reached the gate and her whistle sounded—as expected—so I cut left into the property.

Two, four, six, eight.

Inhale for six. Exhale for two.

Beat my wings to match.

I continued to set both the rhythm and pace of the canter with my hooves and wings.

Our hooves were all supposed to pound in time with each other, but I could hear some of the other cadets starting to fall out of rhythm. A quick glance back showed a few were starting to lag just the tiniest bit, and I could tell Sergeant Smiles had made the right call with how most of the pegasi were flailing their wings in a not-so-steady beat.

Oh, how I couldn’t wait for everypony to catch up with me.

“Slow and steady wins the race! Take it to a snail’s pace!” The careful balance I’d struck broke as I spent the extra air bellowing at my troops. My lungs burned a little from the order, but I ignored it as best I could. The others—sans Apple Bloom, Rumble, and Scoots—were in much worse shape, so I really had no right to complain.

Still, I began to settle into a canter. The ponies behind me continued to follow me, slowing down. When I was sure they had matched my new speed, I slowed again. And again. Rinse and repeat as we passed rows and rows of trees, continuing until we settled into a tired march.

“At home I have a-waiting, an a-grade apple pie!~”

Now that I could afford some air again, I restarted the cadence to keep the flailing ranks in line.

“Baked golden-brown with honey glaze, it always makes me fly!~”

My little soldiers called back instantly in time.

“I eat it hot and gooey, with whipped cream mighty fine!~”

“It tastes great and it smells great, and darling she’s all mine!~”

“Sound off!”

“Two, four!

“Sound off!”

“Six, eight!”

“Cadence count!”

“Two, four, six, eight! Two, four… six-eight!”

“Hoo-wee! Is that a hungry troop of foals I hear?!” Apple Bloom’s sister called out over the farm. The loud, metallic clanging of a very beat-up triangle rang out through the orchard, breaking the spell of the cadence. Everypony else perked up at the noise, but I cringed at the way it shattered our discipline so easily.

“Soup’s on, everypony!” The promise of both a break and breakfast was too much for the troops. They broke, routing past me in a chorus of squeals and whinnies, and I tried not to sigh. Looks like I was finishing the march on my own again.

They didn’t know any better—not like I did. The Junior Guard might not be a game for them anymore, but they still didn’t treat our training with the seriousness it deserved.

I should have called them on it. I had the right to as Platoon Commander. It was my job to make sure we didn’t embarrass ourselves in front of the Sergeant, but—

“Well now, Dark Horse, shouldn’t you be galloping after your friends?” Sergeant Smiles landed next to me and gave a wrinkly smile. The shouty lines in her face crinkled up warmly, pretending to be laugh lines.

She didn’t seem to want to discipline them for obvious infractions.

“They broke rank again, Ma’am….” I heaved a long and heavy sigh. “They always do. We should be cleaning toilets with toothbrushes for life with how often that happens.”

“They’re foals!” Sergeant Smiles laughed. “You’re a foal, too! What foal doesn’t break into a sprint knowing they’ve got some tasty apple pie waiting for them?!”

I had to fight not to pout. Discipline demanded I keep cool and collected, and I had already allowed myself the luxury of a sigh.

Sergeant Smiles looked down when I didn’t join with her and snorted. “Look, cadet, I admire your gumption—I really do—but sometimes you need to remember you aren’t actually in the Guard yet. I’m not going to harp on you for a job well done. Do you know how many Junior Guard Divisions keep this much fresh meat?”

Shaking her head, Sergeant Smiles tsked. “By this point, the daily runs and exercises have weeded out those unfit to continue. Usually, a platoon ends up as a close-knit bunch, a single squad of eight to twelve strong.”

I said nothing, letting my superior talk as I continued my slow and steady march down the orchard, the sergeant walking beside me.

“Ponyville has a gobsmacking twenty-five of their first-year recruits still. Twenty-five, cadet! Any platoon that size is bound to be chaotic.”

“That doesn’t excuse poor discipline.” I frowned.

“It sure as Tartarus don’t, Dark Horse!” Sergeant Smiles smacked me on my withers, almost knocking me out of my rhythm. She grinned widely as I stumbled, but she grinned even more as I quickly resumed my pace, barely missing a step. “We both just have more work cut out for us, don’t we?!”

“Ma’am, yes Ma’am!” My shrill was squeak.

“I can’t hear you!” Sergeant Smiles bellowed.

“Ma’am, yes Ma’am!” My shout penetrated the trees.

We remained silent after that until we rounded a bend in the orchard, and came upon a massive banquet table stacked high with food—most of it apple-themed. Coming to a stop, I stood at attention and waited for permission to join the others.

Sergeant Smiles eyed me for a minute before snorting in amusement. “Dismissed, soldier.” She waved me towards my friends, and I broke my salute.

Break time!

Now that I was dismissed, I cantered up to the table and looked over everypony—all of them smiling and laughing. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were stuffing their faces with pie. Diamond and Silver were biting into crisp, fresh-picked apples. And in the middle of it all was Sweetie Belle, singing the rest of the colts and fillies a song.

Morale was high, and I couldn’t help but grin at the sight.

Then, my stomach growled loud enough for everypony to stop and look at me. That wiped the smile right off my face and left me squirming in place. I tried to be stoic and calm, like Dad on duty, but the sun was like the worst spotlight ever. It was hot and itchy and left me exposed in brilliant whiteness even as it bled through the orchard’s trees.

By the stars, why won’t somepony say anything?

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of waiting, there was a snicker, a storm of giggles quickly following before everypony went back to eating.

“I think you’d better feed the beast.” Apple Bloom tossed me an apple, and my stomach grumbled with discontent as I caught the fruit in my hoof and quickly drained it of its fluids.

“Thanks.” It was the polite thing to do, even if it didn’t really help my hunger.

Looking around showed precious few bugs, but I did spy a butterfly or two. Waggling my rump as I stalked my prey wasn’t an option with so many prying eyes, so I instead crept closer to my meal, a hoof or two at a time. Every few steps, I’d whistle like nothing was wrong until I was sure the butterfly wasn’t paying attention. Then I’d shuffle a few more steps forward and wait.

Eventually, I was close enough that I just stood still and waited like a statue as they drifted around me. All I needed was for one to land on me and—

Crunch!

“Achoo!”

Even in my victory, the fiend had its revenge, tickling my nose as it landed on it to sabotage my attempts at a fresh lunch.

“Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!” Butterfly bits and sticky snot now dampened my foreleg.

Eww….

I wiped them on the ground before me—ignoring everypony’s giggles—and looked for other prey. Sadly, the other butterflies seemed to have wisened up and fled. I snorted in irritation, and sneezed one final time, before emitting a few clicks to check for more elusive bugs.

There were some crickets, a well-hidden beetle or two, and a centipede that was— Ooh, no! That was a millipede! That was a real treat; I could already imagine the feeling of hundreds of legs tickling the back of my throat as it descended down my gullet.

Mmm…. To Tartarus with keeping decorum, that millipede would be mine!

With a hork, I spat just the tiniest bit of drool aside, and I sank low to the ground to slink between the apple trees. A few ponies giggled, and I felt a heat creep up my neck. This wasn’t platoon commander behavior, and I should stop before—

My tail twitched at the sound of Sergeant Smiles’ chuckles. A tiny whip crack rang out with the motion. My wings rustled loudly as I squirmed. Well, loudly for a hunter, at least. Already a few crickets were bolting, disturbed by the needless motion.

Such shame was nothing, however, compared to the shame of being caught red-hoofed by my superior so soon after our talk coming in. She’d outright said she had expected my help in instilling a sense of discipline, and here I was—

“I see you already took the first part of our talk to heart, Dark Horse.” Sergeant Smiles smiled the smile of a venus fly trap that spied a fat, delicious horsefly. “Just don’t forget the second part and you’ll hear no complaints from me.”

“Ma’am, yes Ma’am?” I squeaked, torn between standing to salute and keeping position on the ground.

Right… I had forgotten….

She wanted me to act my age. That was good. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, then. I could hunt butterflies and millipedes as much as I wanted, and I didn’t have to stand stock still when my hunger betrayed me.

She also wanted me to be the bigger pony and set an example for the troops, though. That was bad. Good soldiers didn’t waggle their butts in the air as they hunted lunch. They were calm and collected, and they didn’t squirm when ponies stared at them or their grumbling tummy.

It was a conflict of interests, wasn’t it?

My stomach growled again. Maybe an actual meal would help me sort things out?

I gave another click and found the millipede had foalishly stuck around. I slunk through the trees towards where it was skittering along, sending out a click every few seconds to confirm its location.

When I reached about a meter away, I froze and cast my gaze about. It was here. I was sure of that. I just needed—

There!

I lunged as I saw the little bugger trying to flee into a hole between some roots. It flailed helplessly as I grabbed it and held it up—the many legs wriggling in a way that just begged to be eaten.

“Score! Just look at you!”

It was the length of my foreleg and about a third of the width. I’d only seen larger at the zoo, and I’d certainly never dreamed of eating something so mouthwateringly huge. I had to wonder if I could take it in one bite, legs gleefully tickling me the whole way down.

Then, it snapped its mandibles angrily at me, and I decided it was better not to risk being eaten from the inside out.

I broke the head off in one bite to end it quickly, and—glory to the stars above—the legs kept wriggling. I squealed in delight at the sight and quickly slurped down the rest before it realized there was no head. The feeling of it as it traveled down to my stomach sent tingles down my spine, and I hummed in happiness before turning to head back to the others.

A stunned Diamond was waiting for me by the nearest tree, her mouth agape from having watched me take my meal. She stood still for a few moments before a long, wracking shiver travelled through her body. As it hit her head, she gagged once or twice, but she quickly schooled her expression as it passed.

Taking a deep breath, she smirked. “You are so gross sometimes.”

“It’s good!” I shrugged.

“You’re batty!” Diamond stuck her tongue out at me. “What do you call it? You’re a loon under moon?”

“I wish,” I giggled. “More like a sunstroked bat.”

“So… are you feeling better now?” Diamond moved forward to put a hoof on my withers. “You seemed a little… off… back with everypony else. Was it something the sergeant said?”

“Kind of….” I sheepishly rubbed my foreleg and poked at the ground. “She wants me to set an example—to lead you like I’ve been doing—but she also wants me to act my age.” I gulped. “I just don’t get how I can do both. Her orders conflict with each other, don’t they?”

“You’re telling me that the filly who told me we’re too young to be thinking about colts is worried about acting her age?” Diamond arched her brow.

“Yes?”

“Idiot.” Diamond snorted, smirking as she slugged me in the shoulder. “You’re so stupid sometimes, you know that?”

“I’m… sorry?” My ears twitched and swiveled a bit before they fell flat against my head.

“Night…” Diamond tsked. “Do you really not get that you set an example for us every day, even when we aren’t playing at being guards? You’re one of the most mature fillies in school.” She winked. “At least, you are when it comes to certain things. You might not be so good when it comes to crushes, but you always hoof your homework in, and you take time to help the others in class. Your grades are easily in the top ten because you take school seriously.”

“What are you getting at, Diamond?” I tilted my head to the side.

“You have this really weird idea that just because we’re foals we aren’t capable of more.” Diamond shrugged. “You think setting an example means acting older than you are when it really doesn’t.” She grinned. “I mean, just look at Pinkie Pie. Even as an adult, she loves acting like a foal. Annoying as it is sometimes, it’s part of who she is.”

“So I just keep doing what I’ve been doing?” I blinked.

“Yep!” Diamond slugged me again. “As long as you remember that you’re not in the actual Guard, you should be fine.”

I blinked owlishly a few more times, staring into the white sky above me before smiling. “Thanks, Diamond. That actually helps a lot.”

“No problem,” Diamond giggled. “Us super mature fillies need to stick together, you know?”

“You’re mature?” I grinned, sticking my tongue out at her.

Her giggles turned into a smiling huff. “I’m more mature than you, that’s for sure.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Don’t make me pull rank, missy.”

Diamond laughed, and I smirked at my clear victory.

“Alright, maggots, time to see if we can turn you into flies!” Sergeant Smiles’ shout scared a few birds from their trees.

Horseapples. Was it time already?

I glanced towards the horizon to see the sun peeking out of the tops of the trees. Muttering a word that only Dad could use, I cantered back towards where the others had been.

“Line up! Fall in!” I gave a squeaky shout. “There’s still another half of Ponyville to go!”

Diamond was right behind me, and she quickly joined the jumble of ponies milling about as we came back. It took a little longer than I would have liked, but I only had to do a minor bit of poking and prodding to get everypony where they needed to be. Once everypony was ready, I cantered to the front and stood facing them all.

“Attention!” I stomped a hoof into the ground before doing an about-face and saluting Sergeant Smiles.

“Ma’am, yes Ma’am!” they chorused back with a well-timed stomp of hooves.

I had to bite my tongue not to correct them on addressing me that way. My stillness was far more important than their mistake.

Sergeant Smiles was frowning at us, almost glaring, but I held still and resisted the urge to squirm. With any luck, the troops would see me and follow. The glare was a test. It was always a test. As long as I kept that in mind, I knew I could keep still. Probably.

Ah! There it was! I doubted the others could see it, but a few of the sergeant’s shouty lines crinkled up rather than down, and there was a sparkle to her eyes. To everypony else, it probably looked like she was glowering even more, but Dad had told me what to look for.

I stood a little taller, and puffed my chest out a little more.

“Hrmm….” She marched past me to more closely scrutinize the troops behind me. My ears swiveled and strained to catch the sound of ponies squeaking or shuffling hooves, the sergeant no doubt invading their personal space to get a reaction. I heard nothing but the slow, methodical clop of Sergeant Smiles’ hooves, however, and couldn’t help but grin.

“I guess you all pass for today, cadets.” The sergeant trotted past me again, and I quickly schooled my face. “All except the Dark Horse here, that is!” She turned to me with a sinister smile. “Apparently, she’s so high and mighty she thinks she can get away with a smirk! Platoon Commander Nightingale, do you know what we do with smirkers in the Guard?!”

“You make examples of them, Ma’am!” I squeaked, standing tall.

“And do you know just how we do that, Dark Horse?!”

“You make them feel the hunger of the sun, Ma’am! You burn them alive in the sun-blasted heat, and you leave them to marinate in their own sweat until they drop to the ground!”

“Right you are, Dark Horse!” Smiles grinned. “So do you know what I’m going to do to you?!”

“Push ups when we get back to the castle, Ma’am?!”

“No, Dark Horse! What do you take me for?!” She reached into her saddle bags. “You’re going to feel the burn today, cadet! Don’t think I haven’t noticed you moseying along after our runs! You should be just as tired as everypony else, and these will help you with that!”

She pulled out a set of leg weights, and I had to fight not to smile again.

“Ma’am, thank you, Ma’am! I was looking for more of a challenge!” My squeak was just a bit shriller than normal.

“You trying to get wise with me, Dark Horse?!” Sergeant Smiles’ eyes were twinkling now as she grinned.

“Ma’am, no Ma’am!” I saluted with just a little more vigor and quickly put the weights on as she tossed them to me.

“Guard ponies are weird….” Scootaloo’s hushed whisper made my ears twitch.

“Alright, cadets! Let’s move out!” Sergeant Smiles bellowed. “And don’t expect me to go easy on you just because you passed one inspection! You maggots haven’t even managed to complete your run without a break yet! Starting tomorrow, you can expect your pre-run exercises to buck it up a notch or two!”

The foals behind me failed to keep in their groans, so I had to act fast.

“You heard the sergeant!” I shouted. “Go! Go! Go! March like you mean it, mares! Strut like you were born to, stallions!” I started marching slowly forwards again, my hooves setting the beginning beat for our cadence. “Cadet Sweetie Belle! If you’d be so kind as to join me in leading the cadence this time!”

As we started up in a thunder of mismatched hooves, Sweetie’s voice joined mine to help everypony match my pace. Soon, our hooves drummed in unison, and I picked up the pace. Eventually, we were going too fast to keep up the cadence again.

Two. Four. Six. Eight.

Inhale for six. Exhale for two.

Beat my wings to match.

We charged forward with nothing but the sound of our hoofsteps thundering down upon the earth; I grinned at the tingly feeling of my legs lifting their weights. They were just heavy enough to make a noticable difference.

With any luck, I’d actually want a break when we finally finished our lap of Ponyville.





“Eurgh… I’m so bored.” Scoots dragged a forehoof slowly down her face and slumped to the floor. “How long until we get to sparring?”

I risked glancing at the sun outside the window in front of us—a section of sky that burned whiter than white and hurt to look at even with my glasses. It left white spots in my field of view, and I had to blink them away before looking down to Ponyville for more landmarks.

“At least another few hours,” I finally answered. “It’s not even noon yet.”

“Aww… This is going to take forever, then!” Scoots stomped a hoof and made far too much noise for comfort. The sergeant had to have heard that on her rounds.

I stood a little taller, just in case, and tried to ignore all the sparkling crystal. Door duty was never fun, but it was even less fun when my partner complained and the hall itself was trying to burn my eyes out.

A few white spots still persisted from my glance at the hungry, burning behemoth in the sky, and I had to surrender to the urge to close my eyes for a bit. With several clicks every few seconds, I kept myself aware of the comings and goings—or lack of them—and waited for the telltale warnings of the sergeant.

The clopping of hooves on crystal. The heavy, measured pace of a slow march that echoed through the empty halls.

She wanted to be heard ahead of time by those who bothered to listen.

Sure enough, I soon heard her coming far before she turned the corner. I had no idea exactly how close she was, though. The emptiness of the halls made it hard to tell.

“Sarge is coming,” I reported to Scootaloo, and she quickly flailed back to attention with a squawk.

I risked peeking my eyes open again to see if the rampant swarms of sparkles would try pecking my eyes out again. Thankfully, the stars had been merciful and a cloud had drifted in front of the window. Several of the beastly mini suns had calmed for now, and I could actually look up and down the entire hall without needing to squint behind my glasses.

“I have no idea how Dad works like this….” I grunted. “This—” I cut myself off before I could say a certain word. “—castle is going to be the death of me. I swear it’s going to make me blind before I even get to boot camp.”

“Is it that bad?” Scootaloo tilted her head to the side as she glanced up and down the hall.

“Posture.” I gave a squeaky snort, and she snapped her head back to attention. “And yes, sometimes it really is that bad here. Dad’s looking into some extra-strength shades for me.”

“Bummer.” Scoots blinked, but she didn’t break posture again.

“Yeah, but at least Mom and Dad are still letting me come on Sundays. I was a little worried they’d tell me to stop.” My ears swiveled as Sergeant Smiles’ hoofsteps came to a halt.

“The Sarge reached the station before us, I think.” I strained my ears harder. “Must be taking things seriously after last time. They haven’t made a peep all—”

The echo of a door slamming loudly banged down the halls.

“Up and at’em, lads! You just let the enemy through without a fight! You want some action?! You got it! Two laps through the castle and an apology to Princess Twilight for letting the bad guy through!”

Two audible whinnies of distress came soon after, and two colts rushed past us like the fires of Tartarus were after them.

“That’s why I slugged you when you fell asleep last time, by the way.” I kept my head looking forward, unsure if Sergeant Smiles would still be displeased when she got to us. “That’s the one thing you never, ever want to do.”

I flicked an ear, trying to properly pick out the sergeant’s hooves from the mad gallop of the colts. “I’m really surprised we managed to last this long without it coming up, though. Door duty is so…” I trailed off.

“Boring,” Scootaloo muttered darkly. “School is more fun than this, Night.”

“You say that every week, Scoots, yet you still keep coming back.” I fought to keep a grin off my face.

“Well, duh!” Scoots huffed. “As boring as being a wallflower is, the rest is kinda cool.”

“Even the charity work?” I couldn’t hide the grin anymore.

“You know what I mean.” Scoots snorted, but held still for the most part.

It was a good thing, too, because at that point, Sergeant Smiles came around the corner down the hall from her. I had to quickly guard my expression before the sergeant got a good look at me, but Scoots was a-okay.

“Well now, Dark Horse, you’re looking mighty happy there. Want me to give you the genuine Guard treatment, or should I look the other way?”

“Nothing to look away from, Ma’am!” I squeaked and saluted. “If you wish it, then dish it!”

Sergeant Smiles shook her head and chuckled. “Dish what now, squirt? All I see is a filly having some fun with her friend. Carry on, cadets, and make sure I don’t catch you slacking.” Her eyes hardened for a moment. “Sleeping on the job is serious business.”

With a nod, she marched on to continue her patrol. Scoots slouched the instant Sergeant Smiles turned the corner, and I resisted the urge to slug her in the shoulder again. Doubling back was a tried and true method of catching cadets off guard, but the sergeant wasn’t out to get us.

At least, in the Junior Guard.

I might want to warn those colts to double down when they come by on their second lap just in case, though. Sleeping on the job this far into things…. I mean, really.

“Mrglmmff….” Scootaloo exhaled. “Come on, Night! I’m so bored! How much time we got left?”

“It hasn’t even been ten minutes since I checked.” I rolled my eyes.

“Hrrg!” Scoots grimaced, clutching her chest as if my answer wounded her. “Night, I—” She choked. “Night, I can’t last much longer.”

“It’ll be about another half an hour at most, Scootaloo,” I snorted. “Don’t be such a drama queen.”

“No, Night, I have to go.” Scootaloo squirmed a little as I blinked incredulously at her. “I have to go right now. I had like, five cups of juice today back at Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Then go.” I finally waved a hoof down the hall towards where Sergeant Smiles first appeared. “We’re in groups of two for a reason. You should have said something earlier. I’ll cover things for you while you do your business.”

“But I thought we had to stand here the whole time?”

“Not to the point of stupidity!” I rustled my wings. “Don’t tell me you thought guards stood in place for eight hour shifts with bladders of steel or something?!”

“Well…”

“Just go…” I sighed. “And try to be here before Sergeant Smiles gets back.”





By the stars, I hated litter duty.

I stabbed a can with my little spear and quickly added it to my bag. It was so rare for ponies to litter in Ponyville that I usually ended up just wandering around the park for thirty minutes doing—

What?! Another one! Score! Oh! And there was a third! A fourth! A fifth!

I’d heard rumors that Pinkie was throwing a party in the park today, but I didn’t expect it to help much. She was always so good about cleanup that I figured there would be even less garbage than usual.

I soon found a sixth can and a seventh. A trail of cans was leading me straight to the center of the park. I hadn’t seen this much garbage on the ground since that time Dad took me to Manehatten, and as I rounded a couple trees and bushes to get one last can I found myself boggling at the remains of Pinkie’s party.

Unlike usual, there were heaps of trash left everywhere. There were piles of cans to clean up—formations of metal stacked like dominoes or in pyramids—while paper napkins and plates blew in the breeze. Boxes of unused garbage bags sat piled on tables wrapped in bows like presents, and a banner strung between the trees read, ‘Happy Hot Garbage Party! Leave as much as you want, and show our Junior Guard you care!’

“Guys, I think I may need backup over here!” I bellowed out, hoping somepony would hear me.

There was no response, and my heart began to race a little at the prospect of facing this battle alone.

Could I actually do it? There was only one way to find out.

“Have at thee!” Hefting my spear, I gave a mighty squeak and charged into the fray.

Giggling, I happily stabbed can after can after can, finally able to get something productive done during the worst part of every Sunday.





Lunch had come later than normal. Once the others had found me fighting an army of cans and paper plates, we’d had to stay and clean it all up. Two or three times. Violently puncturing everything with little spears.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who hated having nothing to do on litter duty.

“Alright, cadets! You know what time it is!” Sergeant Smiles looked down at us all as we saluted her. “We were going to start with spears today, but I think you all got enough practice with that earlier. Today… Today we’re going to work with quarterstaves….”

“What?! Really?! Screeheeheeheeheeheehee!”

I couldn’t help it. I pronked in circles while everypony else chatted up a storm. It was our first weapons class, after all.

“Attention!” Sergeant Smiles snapped, and I instantly returned to my salute with my tail between my legs. Everypony else was too excited to hear.

“Attention!” I bellowed, and a few ponies looked over. Poking their friends and snapping out a salute, everypony slowly returned to listening.

Sergeant Smiles glowered at us all for a moment before chuckling. “As I was saying, we’ll be working with quarterstaves today. They aren’t exactly the most elegant weapon. All they really are is a well-crafted stick, but they’re the only other wooden weapon we’ve got in stock for you right now.”

“Why not the spear, though, Ma’am?!” Insubordinate as ever, Rumble was the one to call out.

Sergeant Smiles gave a bark of laughter. “You all did such a wonderful job showing the Princess the dangers of wielding spears that I’m going to have to butter her up again.”

I squirmed inwardly at the memory of Princess Twilight Sparkle flying in to fetch us for lunch. She’d screamed louder than a banshee as we had turned her checklist into swiss cheese when we mistook it for litter. I’d thought it weird she’d come to get us herself, and that lunch had been so big, but if there had been plans to start us on wooden spears today…

“Sorry for failing you, Ma’am!” I stomped a hoof into the floor and made my salute a bit crisper.

“Sorry, Ma’am!” Everypony else did likewise.

Sergeant Smiles just chuckled and waved me off. She walked to a normally empty armory and opened it to reveal a bunch of staves with foam on both ends.

“Oh, for the love of— She told me she’d have actual quarterstaves!” The not-spears were longer than they should be with their newly added foam cushions. “I suppose it’s better than nothing, though…. Everypony grab a staff and split into your usual pairs!”

As I grabbed a staff and headed towards Rumble, Sergeant Smiles held a hoof out to stop me. “Not you, Dark Horse. You’re going to help me today. What do you know about quarterstaff fighting?”

“Not much, Ma’am.” I rubbed the back of my head. “I’ve spent most of my time looking into hoof to hoof and wingblades. I do remember Dad telling me that it was a lot harder for earth ponies. Something about needing two hooves.”

“Okay, good….” Sergeant Smiles sighed in relief. “I won’t need to drill any obsolete drivel out of you then. There’s been a recent shift in how we teach it, because the earth pony way is actually far superior if you know what you’re doing. It teaches a lot more than hitting stuff with a stick.”

The sergeant grabbed her staff and trotted to the instructors’ circle in the center of the room. I followed as fast as I could, having to swerve a bit here and there to avoid hitting ponies with the long piece of wood in my mouth.

“Alright, cadets!” Sergeant Smiles slammed the butt of her staff in the ground, cradling it in the crook of her foreleg. “The first thing you need to know about quarterstaves is that they’re a two-hooved weapon. Usually, weapons like that are mostly for pegasi and unicorns. There’s a reason earth pony guards tend to stick to simple bucking.

“The quarterstaff, however—” She smirked and heaved herself upwards. Grasping the staff in two hooves, she used the butt of the staff to stabilize herself. “—turns that idea entirely on its head.”

Dodging and weaving and spinning about the staff, she unleashed a flurry of kicks and blows. Both the staff and her hind hooves were used in equal measure for movement and striking, and she was never in one place for long. Each buck allowed her to plant her hooves squarely to bring the staff up in a string of blows, and when the staff planted itself in the ground once more she immediately transitioned into another buck.

“Woah….” Who said that? I think it was me.

Sergeant Smiles finally spun to a stop, panting heavily. Her mane was sweat-soaked and shimmery, and she seemed to be leaning on the staff for support.

“That…” She swallowed. “That is what you can learn to do someday. Today, though, me and the Dark Horse here are going to teach you how to stand properly. You can’t use a quarterstaff right if you can’t stand and hold it.”

Settling down on four hooves, she shook some of the sweat from her mane. “First things first, getting on two hooves. All you need to do is rear up and place the butt—” Some stupid colt giggled. “—of your staff in the ground.”

She nodded to me. “Dark Horse.”

I reared up as much as I could and planted the staff on the floor. I wobbled a little, but otherwise held my ground.

Then Sergeant Smiles swept the wood out from under me, and I fell face-first to the cold crystal beneath me.

“As you can see, it takes work to get the placement right.” The sergeant hauled me up. “It all has to do with the triangle you make with your hind hooves and where you grab the staff.”

She poked my backside with her staff. “Again, Dark Horse!”





The last few beams of sunlight burned a few of the more tender spots in my hide. The itching was more than just irritating, and I was sure that would mean a few minor bruises in the morning.

I crawled home a tired, sweaty, noodly mess of limbs, and slunk along the cool cloud floor to the bathroom to shower up. I couldn’t wait to get in bed and take a nap to perk me up for finishing my homework throughout the night. Dad had promised to take me up to the roof to stargaze, and—

“Hey, if it isn’t my little light in the night!” Dad poked his head out of the kitchen. “How’d it go today? A little bat told me you were starting spears. That had to be fun.”

“Quarterstaves,” I mumbled. “Princess Twi-eeieeaieeahh…” My jaw tried to dislocate itself. “Princess Twilight kind of said no to the spears when we skewered her checklist during litter duty.”

“Was it fun, still?”

“Skewering the list? Totally.” Dad rolled his eyes as I giggled into the floor. “Yes, the staves were fun. Hard, but fun.” I nodded, eyes closed as I dragged myself through the house via clicking.

“You hungry?” Dad chuckled. “Dinner’s just about ready.”

“I think I’ll take a nap first.” By the stars, the floor was comfy. “Today was a little tougher than usual. Sarge wanted to keep me on my frogs, so I really got a workout today.”

“Alright then, Night,” Dad rumbled. “You just go to sleep and I’ll wake you in an hour or two.”

“Affirmative.” I yawned again, not even trying to go for the bathroom anymore as Mom started humming a lullaby from her lounger. I just curled up in the corner and pulled a piece of the floor over me.

Cloud homes were awesome like that.

Mom hummed some more, and the sizzle of lightning-fried crickets came in from the kitchen. The smell was almost good enough to rouse me, but I really needed a nap.

As I drifted off into the dreamscape, visions of heroic, quarterstaff-wielding thestrals danced through my mind, and all was right with the world.
> A New Battler Approaches
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sticky, sweaty, and just a tiny bit smelly, I glided towards home in the early light of dawn. My muscles were still tingly from today’s run, and I grinned at the welcome relief that came with just letting the wind carry me home.

I banked to the left momentarily as Sugarcube Corner came into view, and the smell of warm, delicious pastries carried me upwards. I licked my lips. Cinnamon-flavored updraft, yummy.

Angling back towards home, I set my course and looked down on the town below. Few ponies were out and about so early, but I could see a few of my platoon mates trudging for home to wash up before school.

Among them, Scoots and the other Crusaders were wobblily zigzagging along on Scoots’ scooter and wagon. Sweetie and Bloom clung to each other for dear life in the back, and I had to fight the sudden urge to dive when Scoots hit a ramp and they almost crashed into another pony.

“She knows what she’s doing….” I growled, forcing myself to focus on home.

I landed on the sky porch and dug a hoof into the cloud stuff to find the key. We put it in the wall just to the left of the doorbell, but it liked to sink down and settle about one or two hooves lower than that. It was as easy as putting a hoof in and—

Odd…. I couldn’t find the key. Did somepony accidentally put it in the wrong spot? There was no way I was going to fetch the spare key from the under-porch. It’d be downright murder on my wings right now to go down to the ground, get the key from under the welcome mat, and fly back up.

Oh! There it was! Gosh, it was a lot higher than usual. I’d had to stand on the tips of my frogs to feel it, and I’d had to jump to get a good grip.

“Mom?! Dad?! You still home?!” Entering the house, I closed the door and sank to the floor for a moment, enjoying the sweet, cool shade of home.

“Night, is that you?” The sound of somepony hurling came from the bathroom. Mom poked her head out of the door—her eyes bleary, her mane disheveled—and blinked at me several times.

“I thought I had more time until you got back…. Give me just a second, and I’ll—“ Her face darkened and her cheeks bulged as she hastily pulled her head back into the bathroom.

As she started retching again, I frowned and carefully crept forwards. “Mom? Are you alright? This is three days in a row now. Don’t worry about making my lunch if you’re sick. I can—”

“Your mommy isn’t sick, Night.” Mom almost hurtled herself out of the doorway at me. “I’m better than fine—great, even! I just took a test that told me everything is fine, and that there’s nothing to worry about. Now, why don’t you go sit on the couch while I go make your lunch?”

I looked myself up and down for a moment before arching my brow at Mom. “Mom, look at me. I just ran a lap of Ponyville. I need a shower.”

“Oh, right….” Mom’s face darkened further. “You’ll be wanting the bathroom, then. Just let me…” The door was shut in my face, and the ominous sound of thunder rumbled on the other side. Gales raged, foals cried, and thunder boomed as Mom ravaged the bathroom a second time. The door burst open with a flash and a boom as Mom sped in and out with the garbage can. She was back before I could blink, smiling sweetly.

“There. All clean.” She gently pushed me in with a wing. “Your lunch will be ready when you’re done.”

“Are you sure?” I squeaked, squirming a little. “You still look a little—”

“I’m completely sure.” With a twitch of her feathers, Mom’s push became a tickle, and I giggled my way into the bathroom. When she stopped and shut the door, I turned to look in the mirror.

Yep. That was a good amount of dirt and lather. My sweat-soaked mane hung limply about my face, and I tasted salt when I licked my lips. Lifting a wing, I looked for any wear and tear—just in case—and bent down my head to take a sniff.

I nearly lost consciousness at the smell.

I stepped towards the shower cloud only to hear something snap beneath my hooves. Looking down, I found a little plastic stick broken in two. One half seemed to have a little window with a softly glowing, white light in it, but that was it. It must have fallen out of the garbage can when Mom rushed by.

I dutifully picked it up, and returned it to its rightful place. No big deal, really. It could always wait until the next trip.

My civic duty complete, I pulled myself into the shower and set the cloud to warm summer rain with a poke. I melted like butter under the water—just sitting in there dreaming for a minute or two—before I began to scrub the dirt from my coat. It had gotten everywhere today, and I was glad for it. It gave me an excuse to soak myself a little longer before I stepped out and flap-dried myself.

“Mom! I’m done!” I poked my head into the hall.

“That’s good, because so am I.” Mom gave me a shaky smile as she stepped into the hall. “Your lunch is on the counter. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get ready for work before I end up being late.”

“Yep!” I chirped, a certain spring in my step. “Being late is never good. I’m just going to grab my bags and I’ll be off.”

I ran up and hugged her before bolting for my room. I zooped about it, throwing my books in my bag, and raced into the kitchen so I could grab my lunch. Leaping out the front door into the warm, spring air, I unfurled my wings and soared towards the schoolhouse.

I briefly looked back to see Mom waving at me in her armor at the door, and I smiled.

If Mom was feeling good enough to go to work, then there couldn’t possibly be anything wrong.





When I got home from school, Mom was snoozing in her lounger. It was a very un-Mom thing for her to do, and that worried me. Cooking, cleaning, reading: those were all things Mom liked to do off duty. That or going for a good fly and a swim. She only let herself nap when she was sick and needed the rest.

“Mom?” I prodded her with my snoot to no effect. “Mom, are you sure you’re alright?”

“Wha— Huh?! Whozzat?!” Mom startled awake on the second prod. “Oh, Night, when did you get home?” Ruffling her wings, she stood and headed for the hall. “I wasn’t expecting you for—” She glanced at the clock. “Oh….” Her wings sagged as she wilted, ears splaying back. “I told your father it was a bad idea to sit and rest my eyes….”

“Mom, are you sick? Do you need me to go get the stuff for chicken noodle soup?” I put a hoof on Mom’s side. “I can look after you while Dad’s at work, honest! I can come home straight from school, and I can follow orders to get you whatever you need, and—”

“I’m not that sick, little star.” Mom patted my head and kissed me on my forehead. “I just didn’t get as much sleep as I could last night because I kept waking up to use the bathroom.”

“You mean you threw up all night, too?!” I asked, my voice cracking in a shrill squeak.

“No, Night.” Mom hugged me. “I just had to use the bathroom. I think I got a little food poisoning from something. I’m well enough to work for the most part, so it should be gone soon.”

I rubbed my face in her coat and inhaled Mom’s scent. She was wearing blueberry and banana perfume today, and smelled like a fruit smoothie.

“So no chicken noodle?” I looked up at Mom with big, weapon-grade eyes.

“No chicken noodle,” Mom chuckled and ruffled my mane.

I started to giggle, but stopped at the clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen. Several muffled words-that-must-not-be-named came through the walls, and Mom stopped noogying me to glare at the kitchen.

“What is that lunk doing? He knows it’s my turn tonight.” Mom started towards the kitchen and I followed. “I swear, if he started fixing chicken noodle when I told him not to, I’m going to pluck his—” Mom glanced at me for a moment. “—feathers out.”

“Dad doesn’t have feathers, Mom.”

“Then I just need to tar and feather him first.” Mom snorted as we entered the kitchen to find Dad pulling a sizzling cricketloaf from the oven.

“Hello there, sleepyhead!” Dad winked at Mom as he waved some of the excess heat away. “I’m sorry, dear, but I figured you deserved at least a little more sleep after Princess Twilight had you running through the castle all day.”

He set the loaf down on an unoccupied part of the stove to cool, and then stirred a bowl on the other side. He took a taste of the paste and hummed in satisfaction, holding out the spoon to me.

I licked it once and decided that wasn’t enough, happily cleaning the spoon as the spicy tingle of chile gravy spread through my mouth.

“I see somepony is looking forward to dinner,” Dad chuckled. “How are you, my little light in the night? You have fun playing with your friends today?”

“Mhmm….” I gnawed the spoon just a little, but no more gravy was to be found.

A bowl of mashed potatoes stood ready on the counter next to a plate of roasted veggies,  a pitcher of water resting by the edge of the sink. The bottom of it was dusted with snow and hail stones to keep it cool, while the top had a few citrus slices floating in it.

Mom judged it all with a hawk-like eye before nodding in approval.

“What was that bit of noise earlier?” She flicked an ear and gave Dad a look.

“Oh… ah… umm…” Dad took off the oven mitt to rub the back of his head. “I didn’t restack the pans carefully enough when I was digging out everything I needed. Sorry if it woke you, honey.”

“You’re fine. It didn’t wake me,” Mom sighed. “Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded if it did. It’s supposed to be me in here today.”

“But you—“

Mom cut Dad off with another pointed look. “Don’t expect me to do nothing, though. Night and I can easily set the table. Right, Night?”

“Right!” I reared up on my hooves to grab the handle to the pitcher in my mouth. Setting it carefully on my back, I started to head towards the table.

“You girls do that, then.” Dad grinned. “I’ve had to drain the reservoir for like, half an hour, but couldn’t leave the food unsupervised.”

He headed off to go do his business, and I dug into the drawers for plates, napkins, and cutlery. Mom moved the rest of the food to the table, while I set the table for three, and then we both sat down to wait for Dad.

He was taking a weirdly long time, and I squirmed impatiently. Mom fiddled around with the silverware a bit—making it just right—before standing up and heading for the hall.

“Tempered? Are you alright? Don’t tell me we’re all actually falling si—”

“Screeheeheehaahaaheeheehaahaaheehee!”

Dad burst through the door and tackled Mom in a rush—spinning her round and round as he pranced about in glee. Mom looked a little darker from the motion, but Dad just kept going. He nuzzled her and booped her snoot with his. His manic laughter boomed through the house along with several whinnies and snorts and attempts to say something to Mom.

Eventually, he ran out of breath, and that forced him to calm down himself. He still grinned like a loon under moon as he held out the little stick I’d thrown out earlier that morning.

“When were you planning on telling me, my lovely little Morning Glory?” He put his snoot to Mom’s neck and chuffed, breathing warm, tickly air all over her.

“I— Wha— Huh?” Mom’s eyes bugged out at the little stick. “That’s… That’s not what it said earlier!”

“That’s not what what said earlier?” I tilted my head to the side. “Mom? Dad? What’s going on?”

“We’ve got a brand new bouncing baby bat on the way!” Dad’s grin was wide enough to split his head in two. “You’re going to be a big sister, Night! Isn’t that great?!”

“I’m going to be a what?!” My squeak could have broken glass. Suddenly, I too was hopping around, dancing with Dad and screeing in glee.

“Screeheeheeheeheeheehee!”

“Screeheeheehaahaaheehee!”

“Screeheeheeheeheeheehee!”

“Screeheeheehaahaaheehee!”

“Sweet Celestia above… you’re both giving me a headache.”

Dad and I stopped spinning about to see Mom seated at the table, head in her hooves.

“Honey?” Dad set me down to go poke Mom with his snoot. “Glory? Are you alright? I thought you’d be happy? You were the one who wanted to—” He bit his lip and looked at me. “Try.”

“Oh, I’m happy all right.” There was a sob—or maybe a giggle—and Mom heaved a mighty sigh and smiled at us. “I’m unbelievably happy right now.” She sniffed. “I’m just a little worried, too. I thought we’d have a little more time to settle in Ponyville and build a nest egg. It took more time with Night.”

“We had fewer chances to try back then, Glory,” Dad rumbled, pulling Mom into a hug. “It was bound to happen faster now that we’re sharing shifts. Don’t worry. I’ve been keeping track of our bits. We should be fine.”

“Why’s Mom sad?” I hopped from hoof to hoof in the background. “Isn’t this a good thing?”

“It is.” Dad pulled me into the hug with his wing and squeezed. “But a foal comes with a lot of responsibilities, Night. We need to make sure we can care for both of you.”

“I’m pretty good at taking care of myself!” I squirmed, trying to get into a good position.

“We know you are.” Mom ruffled my mane. “And we’re proud of you for that, but soon you may be helping take care of more than just yourself, dear. Do you think you’re up for that?”

“Of course I am!” I would have saluted, but we were a tangled mess of limbs.

“Then let’s stop worrying, dear, and celebrate.” Dad kissed Mom on the nose and she finally giggled.

I squirmed at the cootie exchange, but Mom began mercilessly tickling me with her wings—no warning whatsoever—and I collapsed in a fit of high-pitched squeals. Then, Dad gave a rumbling laugh and stole me away from Mom for a bit of roughhousing. I scrabbled at him, he batted at me, and ears were nipped on both sides as we scuffled. At some point, it transitioned back into a hug, and Mom joined in again.

We sat like that for a while, dinner forgotten, until my stomach growled.

“We should probably eat dinner before it gets any colder, shouldn’t we?” Dad chuckled, pulling away.

“Before we do that, can I ask one question?” I nuzzled into the crook of Mom’s legs, and she rested her head atop mine.

“Of course you can, Night.” Mom squeezed me tight. “You’re bound to have a lot of questions.”

I squirmed a bit. “Okay, then… so… now that we’re getting one… are you finally going to tell me where foals come from?”

Mom went from soft and cuddly to bristly and tense. Her entire coat stood on end at the question, while her grip became almost vice-like. Dad just blinked a few times before giving a thunderous laugh.

“That’s my girl! Go right for the throat.”

“Tempered!” Mom tutted.

She shifted, bringing her head around to look at me directly. “Are you sure you want to know, Night?”

“Uh huh!” I nodded vigorously.

“Even if it’s really squicky and gross?”

“I can handle it!” I vibrated at the revelation, my imagination running wild. “Does it involve blood or guts or fighting your way out of the Gates of Tartarus? Oh! Is the stork actually some baby hoarding demon ponies need to fight their way past?!”

Mom gave Dad a look as he sat there roaring with laughter. “No, Night, even worse. It involves colts…”

“Oh…” The wind was instantly knocked from beneath my wings.

“And kissing…”

“Oh…” I squirmed further.

“And cooties….”

“Oh…” My ears folded back. “Umm… nevermind, then. I think I’ll be fine just waiting for them to teach it in school.”

“Whether any of us like it or not, Night, you’re probably going to learn where foals come from at some point over the next eleven months.” Still chuckling, Dad leaned over to boop me on the nose. “It might honestly be better to talk about it now. It’ll help prepare you for being an adult.”

Well, when he put it like that…

“Alright…” Mom and I sighed at the same time. We both blinked twice at the resignation before bursting into giggles.

“Oh, my little star is growing up so fast….” Mom nuzzled me. “Just give me one more dinner with my little filly first. The Talk is such a huge step forward for you.”

My stomach grumbled its agreement, and the inevitable was postponed until after dinner.





“Woah….” It was an understatement, but my mind was kind of blown.

I had squirmed when both Mom and Dad had sat beside me on the couch to wrap a wing around me, but now I was grateful for the support. The Talk had left me feeling a little numb to the world.

“Woah, indeed….” Dad nodded, a slight grimace on his face. “Now you understand why it’s my sacred duty to scare colts away from you.”

“That’s just… woah….” I looked for words again and failed. Burying my face in his side, I tightened my grip on him. “So… when Rumble asked me out, he wanted to… No, no no no no no, that’s just too icky!

“You say that now…” Dad chuckled, ruffling my mane with a hoof.

Mom shifted on my other side, and I turned to place a hoof on her barrel. I leaned in and brushed my ear against her ribs, causing her to giggle. Her stomach gurgled lightly as it digested dinner, but otherwise there wasn’t much sound.

“I always thought they came from somewhere far away.” My ear flicked, and Mom’s giggles grew. “It’s weird to think of them growing inside ponies. Is that what happened with Aunt Star Fort? She told me all that extra weight was to prepare for a siege on her castle gates, but then the fort she was stationed at never got attacked.”

Dad snorted while Mom made a strangled choking sound.

“Anyways! Where’s he gonna come out? How does he breath in there? What does he do to eat? Does he have a name yet?”

Dad almost fell on the floor he was laughing so hard, and even Mom started to chuckle as my barrage of questions grew. She had to set her hoof over my mouth to get me to stop rambling.

“How about we focus on names for now?” She smiled before pulling her hoof away.

“Short Spear!” I immediately chirped upon being able to speak again.

“No colt of mine is going to wield a weapon as weak as a shortspear,” Dad chuckled.

“You two can’t know for sure whether it’s a colt or not.” Mom shook her head.

“Blood Moon!” I grinned triumphantly.

“He’s not a vampony.” Dad frowned.

Mom just rolled her eyes.

“How about Iron Hoof?” Dad tried.

“Shadow Stalker!”

“Battle Hymn?”

“Death Wing!”

“Owl Eye?”

“Dark Whip!”

“Night, please….” Mom set a hoof on my withers. “I know you’re excited, but your names don’t have to be so… intense…. I understand you want a little buddy to follow you into the guard, but all those names sound like the type of colts Dad will be scaring away from you in a few years. Do you really want a brother like that?

“Besides, most of those names won’t work for fillies.” She coughed. “You need to remember that you might be getting a sister.” Looking at Dad, she smiled. “I like Battle Hymn, though. Let’s keep that one on the list.”

My ears flicked a few times as my mind started doing mental acrobatics. A filly name? I could do that. Oh! I could go with—

“Flank Support.” I nodded sagely.

There was a roar of laughter from Dad, while Mom sputtered a bit.

“What?” My ears folded back against my head. “She’d always have my back!”

“Night. Night. Night. Night. Night…” Mom tutted. “We are not going to name your brother or sister after their butt.”

Oh….

“Oops?” I squirmed in my spot. “How about Cadence Call?”

“Much better.” Mom was smiling again.

“Iron Maiden.” Dad grinned.

“Don’t you start.” Mom gave him a pointed look only for him to waggle his brows. “Maybe we should wait a bit for names.” Mom started massaging her temples. “You’re both clearly a bit too giddy about the new foal right now.”

“If that’s what you want, mama Morning Glory.” Dad leaned his head over me to boop Mom’s snoot with his own. “I’m going to head out to the bar and tell the troops the good news.”

“No drinking, you hear?” Mom frowned.

“I’m only going to have some soda and maybe a pinch of salt.” Dad grinned. “We’ve got work tomorrow, after all.”

“Be back by midnight at the latest.”

“No promises!” Dad laughed. “After stopping at Berry Punch’s, I’m planning on flying all the way to Canterlot and screeing the news to the heavens.”

“No salt, then.” Mom’s glare brooked no argument.

“Yes, ma’am!” Dad saluted Mom and winked. “Anypony you want me to tell in particular? Right now, I’m just planning on hopping in on my old buddies and our folks.”

“Don’t you drag my parents into this at Celestia knows what hour of the night!” Mom’s left wing tightened around me as her other one attempted to swat Dad. “You let them get their sleep, and we can fly out to tell them this weekend.” After failing to hit Dad several times, Mom ruffled her wings and preened a bit before finally answering his question.

“Optic Lens might be up in the observatory if you’re that dead set on telling our friends, though….” Mom hummed. “If you mention it to her for me, I’m sure word will spread to the rest of the girls.”

“What about your friends in the guard?” Dad grinned. “Permission to raid the barracks like I used to?”

“Denied.” Mom rolled her eyes.

“Aww….” Dad pouted. “Well, it was worth a try. I’ll see you later then, sweetie.” He swept in for one last smooch. “I’ve got a lot of air to travel.”

“Yes, you do.” Mom smiled. “Have fun and at least try to be back by sunrise.”

Dad just winked and turned to head out the door.

“So… Mom?” Now that that was settled, I leaned into Mom to bring her attention back to me. A certain question was now burning into my mind as bits of The Talk still flitted about my head.

“Yes, Night?”

“What am I going to tell the Crusaders if they ask me where foals come from?”

It started as a giggle, but Mom quickly fell to the floor in a laughing fit. “Oh, I didn’t think of that! If any of your friends don’t know, they’re sure to ask, and then you’ll—” She couldn’t get any farther in her mirth.

It took a minute, but eventually she managed to get her giggles back under control, and she stood up to take her place on the couch again.

“Oh, I am so sorry about that, Night, but I really needed to hear that.” She put her wing back over me. “The truth is, I suspect some or all of them may already know. You’re friends with a group of very curious fillies.”

There was another brief bout of giggles. “If they do ask you, though, it’s up to you what to say. You’re mature enough to have an idea of what your friends might think or do if you tell them, and you’ll know better than me whether or not their parents will get upset if you do. I trust you to make the right decision if they ask, and to make sure that if you do say something, that you’ll make sure they get The Talk themselves.”

I sighed. “Horseapples, I was afraid you’d say something like that. It’d be so much easier if you just told me to keep quiet.”

“Being an adult isn’t easy, Night, but you took a big step in that direction today.” Mom hummed. “Also, language.”

It was my turn to giggle. “At least I didn’t say any of those other words Dad likes to use.”

“True. True. If you had—” Mom nuzzled me in my barrel before ambushing me with a raspberry. “—your punishment would be much more severe than a visit from the tickle monster!”

“Mom!” I flailed and shrieked as I was suddenly flanked by two feathery armies. It was a three-front war between her wings and her muzzle assaulting me. “Mom, I’m not a foal anymore! Tickle monsters are for babies! Mom!”

My protests merely encouraged Mom, and I ended up going to bed a ruffled, disheveled mess that hiccuped all night long.
> Bats, Beaches, and One-pieces
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Begone, sea demons!” I charged the seagulls and sent them scrambling into the air.

They shrieked at me, circling above as they eyed the hay fries somepony had dropped on the pier. Unfurling my wings to full mast, I hissed at them, but they refused to back down, diving the litter every so often for a snack.

“Leave the seagulls be, darling.” Sweetie’s sister followed me out, several baskets with towels, umbrellas, and all our beachly needs following her. She cast her gaze back to the others every so often as they ran about the nearby stalls, making sure nopony had wandered off.

“But it’s my duty! No litter shall remain on my watch!!” I risked lowering my defenses to pout at my chaperone for a moment.

The seagulls—sensing my moment of weakness—swarmed, working together to pick the pier clean. Not only did they snatch the scattered fries, but they took the basket and its contents off to the roof of a nearby shack.

“Greedy birdbrains…” I muttered, glowering at them as I folded my wings back.

“Last one in the water is a diamond tiara!” Scootaloo bolted past me so fast I spun.

“I resent that, you flightless dodo!” Diamond huffed from somewhere behind me.

“Hah! Is your brain already waterlogged, or can you just not think of better insults?” Scoots laughed. “I haven’t been flightless for ages! Watch this!”

“Scoots! That’s cheating! If you’re gonna do that, then first one in the water is totally a chicken!” Apple Bloom ran past with Sweetie Belle just as I came to a stop, sending me spinning off in the other direction.

“Guys!” I wailed while whirling.

“Come on, Night! You don’t want to be last, do you?!” Diamond rushed by, grabbing my hoof in hers and dragging me bodily onto the beach. “Thanks for sacrificing yourself, Silver!”

I glanced back to see Silver calmly walking up the pier, rolling her eyes. She waved me onwards, and stopped to talk with Rarity.

Yanked onto the beach, I stumbled through the sand with Diamond, and tried to take in the sparkling white ocean that was rapidly approaching. It washed against the light grey sands to leave dark, damp patches on the ground, and glistened with almost the same intensity of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s castle.

My new sunglasses could take it, but by the stars, it was bright.

I tried to dig my hooves into the sand as we hit the shallows. The vast expanse of white frothed at our pasterns, egging Diamond into an even faster gallop.

“Diamond! Let go! I don’t want to lose my—”

“Cannonball!” Diamond released my hoof to jump into the briney deep.

I skidded to a full stop before I could completely submerge, putting a hoof to my shades just in case. After a second, Diamond exploded from beneath the surface, shaking her head and flinging sparkling droplets of water everywhere.

“Night!” She turned back to me, huffing. “Why aren’t you jumping in? You don’t want to be last, do you?”

“I… uh… can’t go in the water with my sunglasses….” I shuffled from hoof to hoof and looked over my shoulder to see how far back Sweetie’s sister was. “They’re too easy to lose in the water, remember? I showed you my swimming goggles on the way here?”

“Oh, right….” Diamond smiled sheepishly.

“Oh, girls!~” Rarity singsonged as she and Silver casually sauntered across the beach like they owned it. Weaving through the ponies who were laughing and playing in the sand, they walked up to the edge of the shallows. “You forgot to grab your swimsuits!~”

“I don’t need no swimsuit!” Apple Bloom put her hoof down to create a sizable splash.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo did the same, starting a splash war between the two.

“But you must!” Rarity put a hoof to her forehead, swooning backwards. “I didn’t have to take you all with me to Santa Maneico for your Spring Break! I should be at the hotel right now, preparing for the Budding Fashion Extravaganza! I took all this time last week to get ready early for you, and even whipped you up some fabulous swimwear to boot! The least you could do is—” She looked down, pouting at us with big, puppy dog eyes. “—wear them.”

Scootaloo lowered her head halfway into the water and blew bubbles as she glowered at Rarity in response.

“Aww… come on, Scoots….” Bloom rolled her eyes. “No use in fightin’ it. She’s right. She didn’t have to bring us, and they can’t be that bad.”

“There better not be frills,” Scoots muttered, dragging herself from the water.

“You know Rarity wouldn’t do that!” Sweetie smiled.

I squirmed, looking at the several baskets being levitated in Rarity’s aura. “I guess a swimsuit won’t be that bad… as long as it’s not one of those ones that’ll have everypony looking at me. Where’d you put my goggles?”

“They’re right here with your swimsuit, darling.” Rarity levitated me a small bundle of fabric as I stepped out of the shallows. I could feel my goggles wrapped up in the fabric, and I flashed her a smile in thanks.

“Last one to the changing tent is a flightless dodo!” Diamond sent me spinning again as she cantered up to Rarity to get her swimsuit, stopping for just a second to stick her tongue out at the lagging Scootaloo.

“Hey!” Scoots launched into the air, grabbing her own suit and racing after Diamond.

I looked at the others, and they shrugged, starting a much more leisurely walk towards the changing tent. I followed, making sure to place myself between Sweetie and Silver.

It might have been silly, but not being last was still an unspoken taboo, a sacred rule not to be broken.





“Come on, Night! What’s the hold up?!” Scootaloo yelled from outside the tent. “Are you trying to stall until nightfall or something?”

“S-sorry!” I squeaked, poking my head out of the tent. “I just feel a bit…”

When I trailed off, Diamond rolled her eyes. “If you’re worried about how you look, you shouldn’t be. Rarity makes even Scootaloo look good, and you’re like, the second prettiest filly in school.”

“Hey!” Scoots snorted, kicking up some sand.

“You’re just saying that….” I murmured, blushing down at the ground.

“Well, I suppose you might just be in the top ten depending on who you ask.” Diamond’s smirk was audible, and I felt even more heat creeping up my neck. “But as far as I’m concerned, you’re second—right behind me, of course.”

“Just… just give me a second.” I retreated into the tent and squirmed, dancing from hoof to hoof to get all the jitters out. Taking a deep breath, I stood up straight and at attention, counting to ten in my head before slowly letting myself relax.

Adjusting my goggles slightly, I hesitantly stepped outside and hoofed my sunglasses to Rarity. She beamed at the sight of me, and waved me eagerly towards my friends. I turned to them with a sheepish smile, only to squeak as I finally got a good look at them.

Apple Bloom, thankfully, was her normal, dependable self. She had a simple streamlined one-piece—just like me—although hers was a lighter grey. Sweetie and Silver were similarly attired, the main difference being that they had several frills lining the edges of their suits.

Scoots and Diamond, though…

Scoots was literally on fire, her hydrodynamic suit emblazoned with flame patterns. It clung tightly to her body in a way that would probably have Rumble doing stupid colt things, and it made me really glad Rarity insisted on our vacation being girls only.

She paled in comparison to Diamond, though, who was the light of the sun itself. My cheeks burned in the heat of her sparkly, sequin-lined suit, and my wings itched in a way that only sun-blasted daylight could manage.

“There! That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Diamond smiled.

“I guess not….” I squirmed, looking about the beachgoers in the distance. None of them seemed to be looking at us, so…

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I nodded, turning to Sweetie’s sister. “Thank you for making me something simple, Miss Rarity.”

“It was no problem at all, darling!” Rarity simpered. “Your father was very clear about your tastes when he ordered your dress uniform. I do so hope you can forgive me my faux pas in making your dress. I get so carried away sometimes.”

“Yeah, yeah. Apologies later!” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “It’s time for some fun! Who wants to play some volleyball?!”

“I do!”

“Me too!”

“Me three!”

“Majority wins!”

The rest of the Crusaders rushed off for a clear bit of sand in the distance, stopping only to briefly pull a couple umbrellas and a beach ball from one of the baskets. An amused Rarity and I were left behind, the former bringing a hoof to her mouth as she tittered.

“They never stop, do they?” Her eyes sparkled as she watched them.

“I try to keep them in line, Miss.” I looked on as they began drawing lines in the sand for the court.

“Well, go on, then.” Rarity waved me towards the others. “I’ll be along in a moment. Far be it for me to keep you when they need a third for their second team.”

I nodded and dashed to catch up with my friends. The girls were planting the umbrellas as makeshift net posts in the ground as I arrived. Now that I could get a closer look, though, the lines they drew for bounds were kind of lacking. They zigzagged all over to make the court anything but square.

“This can’t be regulation….” I eyed a particularly long and jagged spike on one of the corners that just had to have been purposely made.

“Pfft!” Scootaloo blew a raspberry. “We’re far too cool to let any rules tie us down.”

“I’m also pretty sure that this half of the court is smaller than that one.” I pointed at the far side. “It’ll totally be an unfair game for whoever gets this side.”

“And I’m telling you that that doesn’t matter!” Scoots stuck her tongue out. “If it makes you feel bad, Sweetie, Bloom, and I will take that side and still thrash your flanks.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure of that.” Silver smiled. “I beat you last Sunday when we were sparring, after all.”

“That was a fluke!” Scoots huffed.

“A fluke I replicated twice.” Silver narrowed her eyes. “All that training is slowly leveling the playing field between us, so don’t think you can whoop me and Diamond just because we aren’t athletes.”

“Also, you gave us Night!” Diamond set a hoof on my withers. “That’s a huge mistake if you ask me. If you really wanted to cream us, you’d have given us Sweetie Belle.” She smiled apologetically at the unicorn in question. “No offense.”

“None taken.” Sweetie rubbed the back of her head. “Sure you don’t want to just show off?”

Diamond blinked. “For who?”

“Nevermind~” Sweetie grinned as she looked away.

“Y’all ready or what?” Apple Bloom drawled, bouncing the beach ball a few times on her head. “We got the court. We got the teams. It’s time to stop gabbing and get going!”

“Yeah!” The rest of us cheered, and we ran to our battle stations. It was me and Scoots facing off at the net, while the others set themselves up to hold the back lines.

“Incoming!” Apple Bloom threw the ball into the air and served deep into the back of our court.

“Silver!” Diamond knocked the ball to the side.

“Got it!” Silver lobbed the pass high over Scoots towards Sweetie Belle.

“Eep!” Sweetie barely managed to keep the ball going, backtracking awkwardly to get in position to hit the ball.

“Oof!” Bloom dove to catch it, spitting out some sand as she scrambled back to her hooves. “Spike it, Scoots!”

Scoots grinned and leapt up to thwack the ball with all her strength, sending Silver diving to return it.

Diamond scurried out of bounds to try and recover the ball for me, and I leapt up to deliver my own spike straight towards Sweetie. She squeaked and dove too deep, the ball rebounding off her head rather than her forehooves, but Apple Bloom still managed a returning lob.

It looked like she’d be sending it just over our imaginary net—the perfect spot to spike it right back in Sweetie’s face while she tried to scramble to her hooves—but Scoots must have had the same idea. I leaped to spike it, and she dove to cover for Sweetie, letting Apple Bloom lob it back to the deep end of our court.

Diamond passed to Silver, who set me another spike, only for Sweetie to return it way too far out of bounds for any of us to chase it. It flew wide—almost landing in the ocean—and I ran to grab it so Diamond could get a serve in.

The game continued to go back and forth after that. We were too evenly matched—so much so that we just stopped keeping score after we traded serves a dozen times without any real difference in points. An hour or two later, we were all panting, covered in sweat, and we still couldn’t really say either side was winning, so we just tossed our hooves in the air and called it a draw.

It was the absolute best.





I grinned as we crawled into the shallows, tired and coated in sweat. I flopped to the ground, and let the ocean wash over me. My goggles gave me small glimpses of the world that waited out in the deeps with each passing wave: little silver fish darted among a forest of seaweed, while scallops fluttered through the water—rapidly opening and closing their shells. It was like watching insects flit about a forest, and I found myself getting hungry at the sight.

Surely, nopony would mind if I took just one.

I slunk into the depths of the water, casting a glance at my friends to make sure they were thoroughly distracted with the splash war they’d started to cool off. When I made it deep enough, I leapt forward, taking a deep breath as I submerged myself in the water.

My leathery wings propelled me swiftly through the ocean, and I surged forward far faster than any earth ponies, unicorns, or even pegasi could swim. Dad said it had to do with the shape of the wing. Feathers were… weaker… I think? They were designed more for air than anything else, while I basically had giant webbed feet for wings that let me easily push through the water.

Kind of like a duck, I guess. Or maybe a beaver…. A platypus? Did they even have webbed feet? They had a duck bill, so they should totally have webbed feet.

Ehh…. Whatever. Not important.

I darted through the seaweed, looking for a nice midday snack. I was fast, but the fish were faster. None of the little ones wanted to stay put, and I could hardly sneak up on them. The big ones would take too long to eat, too, so my best option was probably the scallops.

Bursting up out of the sea, I arched around and did a quick loop-de-loop as I panted and caught my breath.

“Scree-ee!”

Oh, and screech at the seagulls a little.

“Woot, Night! You teach them what for!” Scootaloo and the others laughed and cheered me on, so I gave them a little show.

After thoroughly scattering the flock of sea demons, I dove back in to search for a scallop to claim, and swiftly snatched one from the briny deep. They were nowhere near as fast as the fish, but I knew they’d present their own problem.

The sky was perfectly clear, of course—with day-dwellers somehow liking to bathe directly in the cursed sun—so I simply floated back to the surface, and drifted on my back. Scraping my teeth across the shell, I got the sense that simply gnawing on the shell wouldn’t break it, but I did so anyways as I pondered just how to get at my tasty prize.

The otters at the zoo used rocks. Maybe I could—

“Hey, Night!” Scootaloo laughed as she flew over me, buzzing in circles to take a few pictures with Rarity’s camera. “Not to burst your bubble, but you know Rarity’s got a killer spread for us, right? I’m pretty sure she actually has some scallops for you, if you’re hungry. Back during breakfast—you know, when you were sleeping your flank off in the room—she left us to go talk with the griffon chef in that fancy restaurant on the other side of the lobby. She has to have something for you.”

“Oh….” I looked down at my freshly caught scallop for a second before turning to look back up at Scoots. “She didn’t have to do that, you know. My parents packed me plenty of snacks.”

“Pfft!” There was a raspberry from above as Scootaloo stuck her tongue out at me. “Do you even know Rarity? Of course she’s going to grab you some food! She’s the Element of ‘Everypony Getting Everything!’”

“Yeah, I guess….” I let the scallop drop back in the ocean, and started backstroking my way to shore with my wings. “Don’t you mean she’s the Element of Generosity, though?”

“I know what I said!” Scootaloo grinned. “I’ve known Sweetie for years, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about her sister, it’s that as much as Rarity likes giving things, she loves getting things even more: that’s why she’s the Element of ‘Everypony Getting Everything!’”

I giggled. “If you say so.”

“I know so!” Scoots did a shaky little loop, her wings buzzing furiously as they struggled through the trick. I watched her go through a few more little stunts as we headed towards shore, saying nothing, but smiling encouragingly. When I breached the beach, Scoots landed, panting slightly as I rolled onto my hooves and shook myself dry.

“Hey!” Scoots swatted me tiredly with her wing.

“You’re getting better with those loops. You know that?” I responded to her wing swipe by wrapping her up in one of my own for a brief hug.

She fought her way out of my embrace and swatted me again before rubbing the back of her head. “You really mean that? I saw how easily you did those loops earlier.” She grimaced. “There’s no way I managed to make mine anywhere near as steady as yours.”

“You shouldn’t compare yourself to me….” I glanced down and poked at the sand with one hoof before shaking my head to look up and place my hoof on Scootaloo’s withers. “Trust me. It’s not worth it. There was this one colt back in Canterlot whose dad was friends with mine. He would always fly circles around me when they brought us to the park to play. You want to see loops, you should watch him fly.”

Scootaloo’s gaze fell, and I squeezed her withers with my hoof.

“You know what he couldn’t do?” I smiled. “He couldn’t keep flying. I always outlasted him in the end. Different fliers have different strengths, you know? I could never carve up Ponyville’s streets like you and your scooter.”

Scoots thankfully smiled back. “Yeah, I remember how rocky the ride was when I let you try. I guess I’m just ten times more awesome than you.”

“Yoohoo!~ Scootaloo! Nightingale! Hurry up now before I run out of caviar!”

“Eurgh!” Scoots arched her back, stretching and buzzing her wings. “Sounds like Rarity and the others started without us. Do I even want to know what caviar is? Is it some extra weird thestral thing?”

“Uh… it’s definitely not just a thestral thing.” I tilted my head to the side as we started walking over. “I remember stealing a tiny taste from the Canterlot kitchens one day when Dad took me to work. The chef was making some as a midnight snack for Prince Blueblood, and let me have some. He said it was fish eggs, I think.”

“Eww! Fish eggs?!” Scoots scrunched her face. “Why would anypony eat that?”

“Why does anypony eat eggs?” I shrugged. “I mean, you guys get all weirded out when I eat bugs, but eggs are also meat.”

“But eggs aren’t alive!” Scoots ruffled her wings, snorting.

“Actually, if you paid attention to Miss Cheerilee—” I began.

“Nuh-uh! Nope! Not listening!” Scoots futilely stuffed a hoof in one ear.

“You know your other ear is still uncovered, right? I can still tell you how—“

“But fish eggs!” Scootaloo wailed, abruptly bringing the subject from normal eggs back to caviar. “That’s just so… so… so eww!”

“That’s life.” I shrugged, taking a seat under an umbrella planted on one of the several quilts Rarity had spread a rather generous picnic over.

“What’s life, darling?” Sweetie’s sister hoofed me two bowls of tupperware—one filled with black specks of caviar, the other holding some sort of salad sandwich.

“Nothing, Miss Rarity.” I bit into the sandwich and hummed in appreciation. It was definitely some kind of fish salad. Last time I’d had anything like this had been on the family vacation to Bostang. “Scoots was just asking me what caviar was, right, Scoots?”

I flashed a grin at the pegasus—who was staring at her own bowl of caviar like she was about to crash into the rear end of Princess Celestia at mach one on a scooter.

Again.

“Pass.” She finally spoke, hoofing me her bowl.

I shrugged, and tentatively sampled my own, finding it quite passable and tearing into it with a vengeance. Bloom and Sweetie quickly passed me their bowls in kind, while Diamond sniffed and continued to sample her own. Silver had already finished hers, and was now nibbling on her own sandwich—some sort of mix of roasted vegetables and what looked like cream cheese.

After scarfing everything down, I found myself kneading the blanket and curling up for a nap. My ear flicked a few times, but I couldn’t really snooze with my goggles clinging tightly to my head.

“Umm… can I have my glasses, Miss Rarity?”

“Of course, darling.”

Rarity levitated me my shades, and I swapped my goggles for them. The hungry light of the sun tried to eat through my eyelids as I made the switch, but it failed to really sink its fangs into me.

“Wake me in an hour or two, guys,” I mumbled. “I’m gonna sunbathe for a bit.”

“Sunbathing in the shade?” Diamond giggled.

“Only way to do it.” I curled up again under the umbrella. “The sun hungers for roasted flanks, and I don’t want to be a weekend special.”

“Crazy bats and their sun paranoia.” Silver smirked.

“M’not paranoid.” I yawned, scratching at my ear as the heat in the air and the food in my stomach made my eyes too heavy to open. “M’practical. Freaking sun-witch could bake us all if she ever went Nightmare Moon like Luna.”

There was a snerk of laughter, and I paused my kneading of the quilt.

“I say that out loud?”

Another snerk.

“Yes, Night. Yes, you did.” Diamond tittered. “Go take your bat nap before you say anything else stupid while you’re half-asleep.”

“Aaayarragaa—” One last squeaky yawn before nap time. “—aaaffirmative.” I lifted my wing to scratch at an itch with my fangs, and squirmed one last time just to make sure I was in the perfect position. “G’morning.”

The rest of lunch faded into distant giggles and talking while I snoozed.





A loud pop jolted me from sleep. Blinking blearily over at them, I saw an earth pony stallion trying to console several foals who were holding the remains of a giant inflatable orca. A little unicorn was just about bawling her eyes out—her horn clinging to a few scrapes of rubber—while the rest of the foals argued at the top of their lungs about whose fault everything was.

“Finally back in the land of the living?” Sweetie’s sister tittered from beside me. “I was starting to worry we’d have to drag you back to the hotel with how deeply you were sleeping.”

“What do you mean by—” I started to stretch only to find my limbs loosely locked in place by a small sandcastle. “Am I a battlement?” I squirmed in my makeshift tomb and watched the warm, dry sand roll off me.

Rarity’s titters became giggles and then laughter. “You rolled off the quilt to stay in the shade of the umbrella, darling. Scootaloo just couldn’t resist. I know guards are supposed to be capable of getting their sleep whenever and wherever, but honestly!”

“I may have stayed up a little later than the rest of the girls last night to stargaze….” I blushed. “I guess I missed more sleep than I thought.”

“Ah, so that’s why you were so adamant about your beauty sleep this morning?” Rarity winked. “You almost made us late, you know.”

“Sorry!” I squeaked, ears falling flat momentarily.

“It’s alright, darling! Truly, it is!” Rarity’s smile gleamed. “We are on vacation, are we not?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right….” I stretched my forelegs, pushing myself up and cracking my spine a bit. I gave a fearsome yawn to chase away any lingering sleepiness, and I unfurled my wings to full mast, making most of the sand slide off of my body. The hind legs were next as I stood up and arched my back, bending low with my forehooves splayed before me. I wriggled my rump and snapped my tail back and forth to shake the sand loose, looking out to the ocean for a good spot to wash off before rejoining the other Crusaders.

Rarity saw where I was looking, and she briefly set down the mirror she was using to sun herself, digging in a basket to her side to fetch my goggles.

“Here you go, darling.”

I nodded in thanks, and made the swap, hoofing her back my shades so she could keep them safe.

“Where are the others?” I glanced over the ponies playing nearby.

“Well, you missed them begging for a boat earlier, darling—which was absolutely adorable, by the way—but the prices to rent one were a little high.” Rarity waved towards the ocean. “Last I checked, they were swimming over there and watching the boats out at sea, but— Oh… Hrmm… Where did they go?”

She looked up and down the beach. “I do hope they didn’t decide to build a ship themselves and start pestering ponies by ‘plundering the high seas.’ The last thing I need is a bunch of pirates in my one-pieces.”

“They aren’t that crazy.” I glanced towards a group of sailboats in the distance. “Unless Scootaloo was elected captain....” I unfurled my wings again, giving them a sandless flap. “I guess I’ll just find them after washing all the sand out of my coat.”

“Du-hu-hude! Look at that! It’s a batty babe! Don’t see many of those on the beach!” A sand-grey pegasus colt with a surfboard strapped to his hind leg nudged his buddy as he caught sight of my wings.

“Chahaha! True that, brah!” His ocean-white friend nodded sagely. “My sis says they burst into flames in the sun.” He looked closer. “More of a sizzle, but no flames here, bruh.”

“Cha! Totally tubular.” The first one laughed. “Yo!” He waved to me. “What’s your name, babe?! That’s a gnarly wingspan you have! You ever think about storm surfing?! You could totally cruise through a hurricane with those things!” He puffed out his chest. “I could give you lessons if you like!”

My wingspan? I glanced back before blushing, rustling my wings as I folded them and poked at the ground.

Maybe I’d walk to the shore.

“Brah! What are you talking about?!” The other grinned like a loon under moon at his friend as he started what looked like some strange ritual hoofshake that bumped about every part of their bodies together. “I think you mean we can give her lessons! Just look at that suit and bod! She’s made of the good stuff! We could totes have her surfing like a pro by the end of the day.”

My swimsuit?! I shrank inwards a bit.

“Umm… I…” My ears fell back against my head.

“Thank you, gentlecolts, for the offer, but I’m afraid you’re missing the fact that Night here isn’t interested.” Rarity came to my rescue.

“Cha?” They both blinked and looked down at me squirming in the sand.

“Woah, dude…. We’re totes harshing her mellow.”

“Yeah, brah. Just look at her aura. She’s all zigzags and plaid.”

“Most unfashionable.” Rarity nodded diplomatically.

“We’re like, totally sorry, bat babe. We didn’t mean to be so uncool.”

“It’s fine….” I squirmed a little more under their gazes, but slowly stood back up.

“Chahaha… You like, ever need some nommage later? Come see us at Sea Side’s Sea Shack. We got a shift there later, so dinner’s totes on us for making you so down.”

“Thanks….” I managed a small smile.

“Du-hu-hude!” They both grinned back. “That’s what we want to see, babe. Soon your aura will be all yellow and blue polka dots like your mom here.”

“Polka dots?!” Rarity wailed, raising a hoof to her forehead and falling back. “Surely you jest. I would never be caught dead in polka dots this far out of season! And what do you mean like her mother?! Just how old do you think I am?!”

“Woah… dude, it’s totally time to split.”

“Yeah, brah. I can see all that paisley plaid.”

“Paisley plaid!” There was a fire in Rarity’s eyes.

“See ya later, little dudette!” The sandy one held out his hoof, and I hesitantly bumped it before he bolted. “Remember! Sea Side’s Sea Shack!”

“So, we aren’t actually going there later, are we?” I looked up at Rarity.

“The nerve!” she huffed, sticking her snout in the air. “No, Night. We most certainly are not. Those ruffians don’t deserve our generosity!”

“Oh good…” I sighed. “Wait, but they said they would pay, didn’t they?” I tilted my head to the side.

“They implied I looked old!” Rarity huffed again. “I’m at least another decade until motherhood.”

“My mom is still pretty, though, isn’t she?” I pouted at Rarity. “I don’t see what’s so—”

“Ah! Help!” Sweetie’s shout—faint as it was—had me whipping my head around.

“Hang on, Sweetie! I’ve got—” Scoots cut off with a splash. “Ah! No! I don’t! Apple Bloom! Diamond! Help!”

“We’re trying!” Bloom’s voice was muffled. “It’s taking all we got to stop the current from dragging you under!”

“What about Silver?!”

“What about me, you featherbrain?! Who do you think is hanging back to keep Diamond from being dragged under?!”

Where were they? Where were they?! I jumped into the air with a mighty flap.

“Wah!” Rarity fell back on her haunches as the wind from my kick off sent all our stuff into disarray. “Night! Where are you going?!”

“You don’t hear it?!” I glanced around to see nopony responding—nopony taking action. “Sun-blasted day-dwellers!” I desperately looked out at the ocean to try and find the Crusaders’ location. “There!” I pointed to five familiar specks of grey floating way too deep in the white of the ocean. “Get the lifeguards, Miss Rarity! Sweetie and the others are getting dragged under by the current!”

“What?!” Her sister’s name elicited a banshee-like wail from Rarity. “Are you sure, Night?!”

“I told you spelunking for treasure sounded like a terrible idea!” Sweetie cried as she trembled in place. With a splash, she and Scoots were dragged beneath the surface. They stayed under for half a second—though I waited an eternity—before flailing back to the surface with a gasp.

“Rarity!” Sweetie’s cry was desperate and shrill, her sister’s ear twitching as their cries finally made it to shore.

“No! No, no! No, no, no!” Rarity’s eyes widened, and she began dashing for the nearest high chair. “Night, you stay put! Lifeguards! Lifeguards!”

Ponies were finally pointing. Lifeguards were finally running. The proper authorities had been informed, and I had been told to stay put. My wings itched to fly out, but—

Wait. Running?

“Why are there no pegasi on shift?!” I screeched.

To Tartarus with staying put, then. I might not have lifeguard training, but I was trained to guard lives.

“Screeeeee!”

“Night, no!” As far as Rarity was from me, she still desperately tried to grab me in her telekinesis. “You don’t want to make it worse!”

I barely heard her with the wind whipping past me and all of Dad’s curses streaming from my mouth. I hit the surf like a shark smelling blood and surged towards my friends with a vengeance.

When I reached my friends, I screeched to a halt, and pushed so hard at the water with my wings that it hurt. Apple Bloom was futilely paddling to pull Scoots and Sweetie towards shore with Diamond and Silver. As she saw me, though, her eyes lit up and she reached out her other forehoof.

“Night!”

I grabbed onto her forehoof with both of my hooves, and began trying to pull everypony from the current with a backstroke. My wings pumped as hard as they could, and we slowly began to retreat from the undertow.

“Yeah, Night!”

“You go, girl!

“Give it all you got!”

“Guys!” I snarled, spitting out a bit of froth the ocean tossed in my mouth. “Shut up and help me!”

“We are!”

“If you have time to cheer, you aren’t trying hard enough! Now swim or I’ll start biting you like I do Rumble!”

“Eek!” Sweetie slipped from Scoots’ grasp into the briny deep.

“Sweetie Belle!” I gave one last tremendous push, and we yanked Scootaloo from the current. I didn’t even pause to check if she was okay, though—too busy diving straight back in for Sweetie.

I paused just long enough to take a few deep breaths—Mom’s lessons from years ago flashing through my head. Stress was bad. I needed to relax, and relax now. It was an impossible order, but the breathing at least helped a little.

I pinched my nose with one hoof, and pushed against the roof of my mouth with my tongue. Mom called it equalizing. I called it wasted time. It was necessary, though, to prevent pain and blackouts.

I had no idea how deep I’d be going.

I dove, and shot forward in a rush of bubbles, blood pounding in my head as I swam far faster than I ever swam before. I kept ahold of my nose and pushed my tongue against the roof of my mouth over and over. Mom said it kept tiny bits of air pushing out my ears.

The undertow was like a galeforce wind, carrying me deeper and deeper. Everything was going too fast to let me equalize completely—a minor pain building in the back of my ears.

I prayed to Luna it didn’t get too bad, because I still had to go back.

Finally, the ocean floor came into focus, and I spied the outline of Sweetie Belle resting on the sand. A small trickle of grey leaked from her nose, but I didn’t have time to worry about any damage she’d sustained from failing to equalize. I swam down and wrapped a hoof around her, pushing us off to the side in the hopes it would get us away from the current, and then I slowly began to push us upwards.

Looking towards the surface, I saw the lifeguards had finally arrived. Several inflatable rafts had been deployed, and a number of the lifeguards were helping the Crusaders into the boats.

Several more lifeguards were on their way down, and as I swam up to meet them, they gestured for me to go left a bit more. I did so, and when they pointed up, I rose to meet them, my wing briefly clipping the undertow again to momentarily disorient me. The earth ponies made it down before I could get back to climbing, and secured us before starting to help me rise back towards the surface.

My lungs were burning, and my wings were aching at this point, so I simply surrendered and let them help me. My vision started to swim as we got close to the surface, and the first gasp of air was like tasting sweet, sweet Beet Positive after flying for twelve hours straight.

“You alright, kid?!” the lifeguard that held me up bellowed into my ear.

“Screeck!” I flinched, ears falling flat. “Not so loud! I know enough to prevent my ear drums from rupturing!”

“Good! Good!” The lifeguard continued to bellow. “Up and at’em in the raft, then!”

I crawled into a raft and fell on my back, panting. Sweetie was in another raft. I couldn’t see what they were doing to her, and I couldn’t summon the energy to lift my head and look, but it sounded like they’d got her to start coughing up water on her own. They were asking a lot of yes or no questions, and she was—hopefully—answering.

I’d be getting my own, soon enough….

“You there. Can you hear me?”

I looked down a little to see a lifeguard watching me, and nodded.

“Hrmm…. Well, I can’t check your sclera without exposing your eyes to sunlight, so we’ll do that back on shore. Do you have any difficulty hearing me at all? Any pain in your ears to suggest a ruptured eardrum?”

I shook my head no. The pain had faded after breaching the surface.

He held a cloth to my nostrils and pulled it back. “No bloody nose, so your sinuses are fine. Can you cough into this, please? I need to check if your lungs are injured. They shouldn’t be with the depth you were at, but I need to make sure.”

I hacked a glob of phlegm into the cloth and handed it back to him.

“Ok…. No pinkness...” he sighed. “Seems you’re good, which is saying something given how stupid it was of you to do what you just did. You have any training or something? You seem a little young….”

“Mom likes swimming…” I murmured. “She’s into freediving, and she took me on a few trips growing up for some really basic dives. I’ve never gone that deep or that fast before.”

“Yes, well…” The stallion gave a rumbling chuckle. “...it seems you’ll be getting the lecture of a lifetime later, then, so I’ll just let you recover.”

“Night! Night!” The instant the stallion moved away, I found Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom looking down on me from above. I had to squint a little with Diamond literally blazing from having the sun at her back.

“Hey, guys…. I got Sweetie Belle back.” I smiled weakly.

“Idiot!” Diamond slugged me in my shoulder. “You know how worried we were?! You left us all alone to go play hero!”

“I was already playing hero saving the rest of you.” My grin grew. “You can’t blame me for going the extra mile.”

“You could have been mighty hurt, Night.” Apple Bloom shook her head. “I woulda stopped you if I could, but somepony had to stop Scoots from diving back in. Silver had her hooves full with Diamond, so…”

“Ehh…. A guard must place others’ well being before their own.” I closed my eyes and nodded.

“Sweet Celestia, Night! You aren’t a guard yet!” Diamond huffed, stomping her hoof into the springy plastic with a squeak. “It wasn’t your job to save us!”

“Excuse me?!” A growl crawled its way out of my throat. “I thought you’d be more grateful!”

“We are!” Diamond shook her head. “I am. It’s just you— I— Sweetie— Eurgh! Idiot!” She slugged me again and tossed her hooves in the air.

“What Diamond means is,” Apple Bloom drawled, “you don’t have to go killing yourself to help us.”

“Nope. Nuh-uh.” I shook my head. “Saving you is non-negotiable. I’m a—”

“You are not a guard!” Diamond snapped.

“I’m going to be a guard.” I frowned. “I’m not going to just sit idly by if I can do something. They didn’t have any pegasi on duty today. You guys needed somepony ASAP.”

“Yeah, but there’s a difference between helping us out and recklessly diving into danger!” Diamond snorted, rolling her eyes.

“Literally, in this case,” Apple Bloom snickered. “Just… please try to keep that in mind next time? I almost thought we were gonna lose both you and Sweetie. That woulda been—” She shuddered.

“But we’re good now?” I arched an eyebrow.

“Yes, you doofus. We’re good.” Diamond smiled. “You saved Sweetie, and got to play our knight in shining armor. Rarity is totally going to kill you, then give you everything she owns, then kill you again, but you’ll probably suffer worse when you get home.”

“Eurgh… Mom is going to be so mad…” I groaned.

“And whose fault is that?!”

“Mine…” I sighed. “Doesn’t change the fact I would do it again….”

“Night….” Diamond set a hoof on my shoulder, but I rolled onto my side.

“M’sorry to make you worried,” I mumbled.

“It’s alright, Night. Really.”  Diamond and Bloom sat beside me, leaning into my back. “It’s nice to know you care. Just… maybe tone it down a bit next time?”

“You planning on regularly getting into life and death situations?” I couldn’t help chuckling.

“Have you met us?” Apple Bloom shrugged, and we all shared a laugh.

“Oh, Luna….” I sighed. “This was not what I signed up for when Sweetie invited me on a beach vacation. How about next time we stick to the Ponyville lake?”

“Sounds like a plan to me!” Apple Bloom chuckled, and I nodded. “I’m pretty sure with you on our side we’ll finally be able to teach that lake kraken what for!”

“Yeah! I’ll totally—“ I blinked. “Wait, what?”
> A Night to Remember
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apple Bloom, Sweetie, and Scoots had been sneaking glances at my flank all day, and I had no idea why.

Bloom was doing it now. I could see her looking—brow furrowed, lips pursed—out of the corner of my eye. Before that had been Sweetie, a thoughtful scrunch to her face, while Scoots didn’t so much stare as buzz her wings excitedly every time she looked out of the corner of her eye. It made me squirm a little as I did my schoolwork, the periodic feeling of my hackles rising distracting me from reading my textbook.

“Psst!”

I glanced up to see Diamond point between me and Bloom, gesturing silently for… something…. I tilted my head to the side, and she rolled her eyes, gesturing even more exaggeratedly. My ear flicked a few times before I shrugged and held a hoof to my ear. She sniffed imperiously, grabbing a pencil and paper, and I snuck a covert glance at Miss Cheerilee to make sure she was still busy with whatever work she was doing.

Oh, no….

Miss Cheerilee’s quill was flying at the speed of Rainbow Dash—a sure sign that somepony was going to have a bad day when she hoofed back their homework. She looked haggard, one hoof massaging her temples as she worked, so it had to be bad.

Thwap!

As I was distracted by our teacher’s bloody massacre, something smacked me right in the back of the head and fell to the floor. I turned and glared at Diamond momentarily—she could have warned me, after all—but she was busy glowering at Apple Bloom, who was staring at my flank again. Bending down to pick up the piece of paper, I snuck one last glance at Cheerilee. She was still busy, so I took a deep breath and took the plunge.

Opening Diamond’s note, I became her accomplice in breaking the rules.

“What’s up with Bloom and the others? —DT”

Hay if I know.

I tossed Diamond’s note back to her, booping her right on the snoot in payback. She broke off from glaring at Apple Bloom to pout at me. Picking up the note, she pouted even more when she saw I hadn’t written anything back. Her head tilted to the side, and she gestured between Bloom and me again, so I just shrugged.

We’d find out what was up at—

Brrrrring!

Speak of the sun witch, and she shall appear. Guess it was time for recess.





“I don’t know about this, Diamond.” I trotted after my friend as she hurried towards the tree the other Crusaders had gathered under. “It feels too confrontational.”

“If it makes you uncomfortable, then we need to deal with it now!” Diamond snorted. “Honestly! They should know better! I have no idea why they—”

“Hey! Night! Diamond! Silver!” Apple Bloom broke from conspiratorially whispering with her fellow founding Crusaders to wave us over. “Come on, already! We got big news and even bigger plans!”

“Hey, Bloom! We’ll get there when we’re good and ready!” Diamond paused, rolling her eyes. “Acting like nothing is wrong,” she muttered under her breath. “Even they can’t be so dense as to not know how rude they were being.”

Silver shrugged. “You know how they get when they’re really excited, Diamond—common sense right out the window.”

Diamond grumbled unintelligibly the rest of the way to the Crusaders. “Alright, then,” she huffed as we reached them. “What’s your big news?”

“Gabby’s coming for a visit next month!” Apple Bloom hopped from hoof to hoof. “Got a letter in the mail and everything!”

“Gabby?” I tilted my head to the side. “Who’s that?”

“She’s a friend of ours from a while back.” Sweetie sighed and smiled.

“Yeah, a griffon friend!” Scoots pumped her hoof. “All claws, and talons, and beaks. She’s totally awesome and great at helping ponies find their calling just like us!”

“We even made her an honorary Crusader.” Bloom nodded.

“I remember her….” Silver hummed. “It was like you three trying to get your cutie marks all over again.” She shuddered. “There was tree sap and pine needles everywhere….”

“Hey!” Scoots buzzed her wings. “Don’t knock it! Both you and Diamond know how fun it is!”

“That doesn’t really explain why you were all staring at Night’s flank,” Diamond muttered darkly.

“Huh?” Apple Bloom blinked. “Oh, yeah, that!” She blushed a little as she turned to me. “Sorry if we made you uncomfortable, Night, but the girls and I were talking about Gabby on our way to school, and you kind of came up—being the only other carnivore we really know. One thing led to another, and it kind of dawned on us that we never actually asked you how you got your cutie mark.”

“Yeah!” Sweetie chimed. “Honestly, I feel kinda bad about it! Back before we got our cutie marks, we basically asked everypony we met!”

“It took you forever to ask me,” Diamond sniffed.

“Uh, Diamond?” Bloom arched her brow.

“I know! I know!” Diamond huffed. “I don’t count.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Apple Bloom shook her head. “I mean, without you coming to us for help we wouldn’t’ve gotten our marks, right, Scoots?”

“Yeah.” Scootaloo nodded before turning to me. “Still, everypony here already knows our cutie mark story. We should be talking about yours. With you wanting to be a guard, I bet it’s full of all sorts of excitement and danger!” Scootaloo’s eyes sparkled as she buzzed her wings.

I squirmed at the attention, which only made Bloom, Sweetie, and Scoots unleash their big puppy dog eyes on me. I glanced at the crescent moon on my butt—nestled in the crook of two thestral wings—to try and avoid their weapons-grade gazes, but it was too late.

“Guys… that’s not fair!” I rustled my wings, sneaking a peek to see if they’d stopped. Their pouts had only intensified, making me feel like I’d kicked them. “Alright, alright… just stop looking at me like that!”

“Night, if you really don’t want to—” Sweetie started, her pout still in place despite what I said.

“No, I’m fine telling you about it, really….” I poked at the ground. “You’re just being a bit—”

“Obnoxious,” Diamond huffed.

“Obsessive,” Silver tsked.

“—excessive.” My ears folded back a moment before I gave everypony a small smile. “You’ve been looking at me like you’re gonna eat me all day, and I’m the carnivore here.”

The Crusaders opened their mouths to apologize, but I just shook my head and settled into the shade of the tree. Everypony gathered around me—Diamond and Silver flanking me for support—while I looked to the wide, white sky above me and hummed in thought.

“Okay, so it all happened a few months after Princess Luna came back…”





Dad and I walked up to the gate at a steady pace, his polished armor glinting in the moonlight. It took everything I had not to canter ahead and into the castle, but I was a good little soldier and I would—

No! Dad, what are you doing?! Don’t stop!

I scrambled to a halt as Dad paused to nod at the guards. My frogs itched as I stared past them to the white-grey walls of the castle. Looking up, I saw its spires spearing into the heavens. I fought the urge to hop from hoof to hoof, failed, and felt my neck burn black as Dad gave a rumbling chuckle.

“Evening, rookies.”

The two guards remained still and unmoving for the most part, but their muscles tensed at the greeting. If I squinted, I could catch a tiny grin chiseling itself out of their faces.

“Yes, Gibbous, she is adorable.” Dad patted me on my withers. “How’s the wife?”

There was no response other than the tiniest arching of the left one’s brow.

“Oh, really?” Dad’s laughed boomed through the silent night. “Perhaps you shouldn’t have snuck that bag of salt into the break room, then? Two weeks of late morning kitchen police was the captain going easy on you!” He shook his head as the guard on the right blinked. “That’s great news, Shadow! I’m happy you two are taking the next step forward.”

The left one flicked his ear.

“Oh? Morning’s doing fine. Thanks for asking. I think the difference in schedules might be finally getting to her, though. We see so little of each other….”

Both guards’ ears bent back a few millimeters.

“Nah, it’s fine.” Dad smiled wistfully. “Sometimes I think about switching back to the day shift, though. Night’s not a baby any more, after all.”

I paused in my antics to stand tall and puff out my chest. “Yeah! I’m a big filly!”

Both the guards made a double blink at me and Dad—definitely the most emotion they’d shown all night.

“Well, I did fall in love with a day dweller.” Dad chuckled and waved to the guards, leading me inside as they continued to blink bemusedly. “Of course I’m a little batty.”

Finally in the castle, I may have gleefully screed to the heavens.

“We’re gonna see Princess Lu-u-na!~ We’re gonna see Princess Lu-u-na!~” I bounded about looking every which way.

Up. Down. Left. Right. There was just so much to see! Maybe it wasn’t that different from last time, but last time there hadn’t been a Princess of the Night!

“Screeheehee!” I did a flip. Then I did another.

“Night.” Dad lightly stomped his hoof, and I was instantly standing at attention. He squinted at me as I quivered in excitement, before giving a very tiny sigh and a microscopic smile. “At ease, soldier.”

“Sir, yes, sir!”

He nodded tersely to a couple more guards who were stonely watching us—blank of face, staring straight ahead—and strode through the main door into the castle. I shook in place behind him, trying my best to mirror his stride as we made our way towards the throne room.

“We’re gonna see Luna~ We’re gonna see Luna~” I hummed to myself as we approached the big, fancy doors, quickly stopping when Dad turned back to look at me with a furrowed brow.

“Right….” I sucked in a breath. “Professional and proud. I am a guard.”

With immense effort, I stopped quivering, and saluted Dad. He watched me for a moment before snorting and continuing past the doors of the throne room.

“But I thought…” I forced myself not to pout as Dad led me through several more halls and archways.

As we approached a much smaller, simpler door with a single guard standing by about a minute later, he began to slow, his posture stiffening. He turned back to glance at me one more time—the tiniest smile on his face—as he opened the door and ushered me through. The guard to the side winked as I was nudged towards the curtain blocking the other side.

“Wha—”

I squeaked as Dad pushed me through, looking to the right and left to see the giant doors from before, and a currently empty throne. Glancing back, I saw Dad smirking from the nearly invisible door, concealed by a tapestry and some drapes.

“Side door for castle staff.” He entered after me and nodded to the solitary guard before the throne. They gave him a quick salute, and trotted off as he took up his shift for the night—me standing next to him as still as I could manage.

“Why’s there only one throne?” I glanced back a few times at the sparkly metal seat. It reflected light far more flashily than a nice silver throne would have, so it must have been… gold? That couldn’t be right. “Where’s Princess Luna’s?”

Several seconds of silence.

“Dad?” I looked back up to see my Dad had turned to stone like the other guards. “Oh, right….” I turned forward and resisted the urge to fidget. A good guard could stand still for hours, so that’s what I was going to do.

Yep.

Standing still.

For hours.

With no princess.

Where was Princess Luna? It had to have been, like—

Wait. Really? Only six minutes?! What happened to all my practice?! I was better than this!

My eyes trailed up to look at the clock on the wall again—perfectly hidden from the rest of the throne room by banners and tapestries. It teased me with its painfully slow movement, each quiet tick faintly carrying through the empty throne room.

Taking a deep breath, I blew it out noisily through my nose. My nostrils tingled a little as they flared, and I flopped my ears a few times as I shuffled from hoof to hoof.

I. Can. Do. This.

“Guard, attend Us!” The throne room doors whooshed open, slamming into the walls as a blue alicorn filly strode imperiously into the throne room.

I began to vibrate in place as the thestral guard following The Princess Luna came in to pile several cushions he was carrying upon the throne. Luna ascended to take her place upon it. The guard she had brought saluted and backed away to take up the post on the other side of Dad, while I continuously peeked at the Night Mother.

She was… frowning… heavily. Her scowl darkened the room like a thunderstorm, and her eyes flashed like lightning.

Maybe I shouldn’t ask her if I could join the Night Guard right now? She looked more angry than the sun witch that one time I stole her nightly three a.m. slice of Death by Chocolate.

Yeah…. Now seemed like a bad time…. She’d probably sentence me to extra school or something. I’d ask her later. Maybe after court. Although, she’d probably be swamped with ponies then, so—

“Finally, We can start with this farce.” Princess Luna glowered at the clock as it struck one a.m. “Court is now in session! ...session! ...session!” Her voice echoed back from the halls.

Wait. Court was starting now? I blinked and looked up at the clock even as I forced my head to stay still. But there was nopony lined up outside the door! Why wouldn’t anypony be here for the bestest, most wonderful, amazing and talented princess now that she was back?!

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The clock quietly assaulted my ears in the empty hall. One minute. Two minutes. Five minutes. Fifteen. After half an hour, I was fidgeting so much I could have had fleas.

“Where is everypony?” I whimpered.

There was a sharp inhalation from Dad beside me at the question, but he still kept as still as a statue. His eyes flicked from side to side—between me and Princess Luna.

The ruler of the night shifted her stormy gaze to me and blinked. I blinked back, still pouting.

“They—” she boomed, and my ears fell flat as I took a step back. “They…” A silent sniff accompanied a much softer voice. I had to twist and strain my ears to catch it. “They do not care for Our court, little one…. As it has always been, so shall it always be. The ponies of Equestria seek Our sister’s aid before Our own….”

Dad exhaled just as quietly as he stopped holding his breath.

“But— But— But—” I looked up, eyes wide. “But you’re Princess Luna!”

The princess’ frown deepened. “Yes, and Our sister is Princess Celestia.”

“But she’s the sun witch!” I squeaked, pouting up at her.

“And most ponies are day dwellers.” Had she just smirked when I called Celestia a sun witch? If she had, it had been quickly buried back beneath her scowl.

“But what about us?!” I stomped a hoof. “There aren’t even any thestrals here!”

”Ye no longer need Us, little one.” Definitely a wistful smile this time. “The thestrals of today have grown independent in Our absence. We are most… proud… of you all for that—both your determination and your loyalty.”

“Huh?” I blinked before shaking my head. Didn’t matter. There was still nopony here. “But—”

“Night….” Dad shook slightly as he ground his fangs together. “Please, stop.”

“But—”

“Nightingale Mooncrest, I did not bring you here to argue with the Princess,” Dad rumbled quietly with a deep, gravelly growl that made me mewl and shrink in on myself.

“Peace, Tempered Mettle.” The best princess ever smiled at me and hopped down from her throne to hold a hoof out to me. “Foals are wont to speak their minds. ‘Tis something We have always loved about them.” Her smile widened as I cautiously poked my head forward to nuzzle it.

“You— You know my name, Princess?” Dad’s voice shot up a few octaves as his jaw dropped.

“We know all the names of Our Night Guard. Ooof!” Princess Luna looked up at Dad, and I took the opening to pounce the filly-sized princess with a hug. Protocol be darned, she needed one right now. “Is that so surprising? It is the least We can do for those who swear their lives to Us. Indeed, thou and Crescent Axe—” The other guard sneezed, but was otherwise still as a rock. “—have been such stalwart protectors that it would be an insult not to know your names.”

Oh! Oh! Now was my chance!

“Well, I promise to serve you!” I pulled back to salute my soon-to-be commander-in-chief. “All you have to do is let me join the Night Guard!”

“Night….” Dad had picked his jaw up off the ground and was stoically rumbling again. “We talked about this….”

“What?” I tilted my head to the side. “I’m not trying to get out of school! I just want something to do! The Canterlot Junior Guard does all its stuff during the day! I need to get real training somehow!”

Princess Luna hummed, arching an eyebrow. “Thou art a bit young to be inducted, sadly. Is thy life as a squire truly so unsatisfying, though?”

“She’s not a squire. She’s my daughter.” Dad puffed his chest out just a little.

“Even more reason to make her so, then!” The Princess’ volume momentarily jumped.

“Dad can make me his squire?!” I started vibrating in place. “Why didn’t I think of that?!”

“No! No, I can’t!” Dad shook his head. “I’m not even a knight!”

“Princess Luna can make you one!” I turned the puppy-dog eyes on at full blast. “Pwease?” The other guard grunted, squeezing his eyes shut, but Princess Luna smiled, ruffling my mane.

“He is of noble lineage.” She nodded. “Should he wish it, We can make it so.”

Dad fidgeted. “Well, I don’t wish it, so—”

“Please please please please pleeeease!” I turned my weaponized cuteness on him. “Sir?”

“Morning is going to kill me for this….” Dad started massaging the bridge of his muzzle.

“So that’s a yes! Yay!” I did a flip before dancing on my frogs. “Screeheeheeheehee!”

“It isn’t a yes, Night. I will talk with your mother. No promises.” Dad frowned, and I quickly snapped to attention.

“Sir, yes, sir!” I saluted.

“Huzzah!” Luna bellowed, sweeping Dad into a hug. “At last, something to do besides this farce of a court! Thou canst give Us thine answer upon the morrow, and We can make it so! Much wisdom have We on the training of squires! We would be remiss to withhold it from thee! Friend Tempered, we shall forge thy daughter into a most glorious knight of the night!”

“F-friend?!” Dad squeaked, turning darker from lack of air.

“Indeed!” Luna stomped a hoof and the floor cracked. “Come! We can even begin now, in case thy spouse cannot be swayed! Surely thou canst approve one lesson without her input?!”

“Eurk!” Dad choked in the Princess’ vise grip.

“Oh, Our apologies.” Princess Luna dropped Dad, her volume shrinking to match her blush. “What say thee, Sir Tempered Mettle?”

“I—” Dad bit his lip. Hard. He looked back at his fellow Night Guard, who gave the smallest of shrugs, before he sighed and put his guard face back on. “If that is what you wish, Princess.” He bowed before rising to salute her.

Luna wilted for a second, making me frown at Dad, but then she shook herself and smiled at me. “Come, then. We shall work to tune thy posture like a fine instrument.”

“Really?!” I beamed up at the Princess even as I scrambled back into position by Dad—who had gone still as a statue again. “‘Cause I’ve been practicing that!”

Dad coughed, and I looked up to see him staring straight forward with a stoic face.

Oh. Right. That.

I schooled my expression and breathed deeply a few times to stop vibrating. Princess Luna walked around me slowly, squinting at me with the same ferocity I gave butterflies when I was hunting in the park. My stomach tossed and turned at the attention, but I kept myself as still as possible. Tensing my muscles, I resisted my hind legs’ attempts to fidget and quiver, and I stood as tall and proud as my little filly body could. It was somewhat ruined with Dad’s towering presence beside me, but I still gave it my best shot.

“Good…. Good….” Luna hummed and I almost broke position to do a flip. “Thy stance is perfect, and thy head stands tall. Thy muscles are a little tense, but it is quite clear that thou hast been practicing on thine own.” She smirked. “There is more to the job than standing still, however. A true Night Guard must be steadfast enough to remain vigil in even the most trying conditions.”

“Princess?” I flicked an ear but otherwise managed to keep my head upright and looking straight ahead. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the Princess prowling. Her wings raised like a bird of prey about to strike, and then she—

“Have at thee!”

I nearly jumped out of my skin as she descended, but held firm in the face of the charge. Her feathers hit me in the side, softly sliding under my ribs and down my legs, assaulting all my weak points. I couldn’t stop myself from giggling, but I did manage to stay standing—twitching and fidgeting and buckling under the might of the moon.

Only when she stopped did I collapse to the ground, panting. I glanced at Dad to see him and the other guard still standing perfectly at attention with only the corners of their mouths slightly upturned, while Princess Luna now giggled beside me.

“An excellent attempt, young Nightingale, but thou must improve thyself shouldst thou seekest to join Our Guard.” She turned to face Dad with a predatory grin. “Watch and learn how a real soldier must hold themselves.”

“Princess?” Dad gave a gravely squeak, still as still as a statue.

“Do not worry, Tempered Mettle. A true guard has no reason to fear such a simple test of character.” The Princess pounced, and Dad braced himself for the feathery onslaught.

Biting his lip hard enough to draw a tiny trickle of blood, he was a stoney mountain amid a feathery storm. He did not budge. He did not flinch. He hardly even breathed. I watched on in awe as he refused to move an inch, and even when the Princess hit Mom’s favorite tickle spots, he simply tensed—turning from a mound of rock into a lump of tempered metal.

After a good half an hour of this—I kept track of the clock—the Princess finally ceased her assault, and Dad gave a mighty exhale. He gulped down air, letting a tiny quiver finally run through his body, but he didn’t even seem close to collapsing like I had after only a minute.

“Behold!” Luna bellowed, raising a hoof to the heavens. “The stamina and stoicism of Our Guard! Able to shrug off even the most dire wounds and torture to continue on in their duty!”

“Screeheeheeheehee!” I cantered up to Dad and hugged him. “Teach me! Teach me! Teach me! Teach me! Teach me!”

“All in due time, young Nightingale,” Princess Luna chuckled. “When We have finished with thee, thou wilt be able to walk off a spear to the chest as if it were nothing.”

“Yep….” Dad rumbled under his breath. “Morning is going to kill me….”

“A spear to the chest like nothing? Awesome!” I squeezed Dad’s foreleg as tight as I could. “I’m gonna be a squire!~ I’m gonna be a squire!~”

“Only if your mother says yes.” Dad allowed a frown to slip past his stony face.

“We have heard stories of thy spouse whispered by the other Night Guard,” Princess Luna huffed. “If she is half the mare they fear and admire, then We imagine she will proudly support her daughter going down this path.”

“Permission to speak freely, Princess?” Dad furrowed his brow and bowed his head.

“Of course.” Princess Luna nodded.

“There is a difference between being supportive and being recklessly encouraging.” Dad looked up with fire in his eyes. “Glory and I would love nothing more than for Night to follow in our hoofsteps. She’s certainly responsible enough and dedicated enough to make the Guard.”

He glanced down at my beaming face before shaking his head. “At the end of the day, though, she’s still just a filly. Putting her in the Junior Guard is one thing, but making Night an actual squire is something else entirely. I… I don’t think I can agree even if Morning somehow does.”

Wha— Huh— What?! Betrayal!

“But Daaaaad!” I gave a squeaky shriek. “You said you would!”

“There’s more to being in the Guard than heroics and helping others, Night!” Dad snorted and stomped a hoof. “There’s discipline and honor—”

“—and pain!” I finished with a hiss, stomping my hoof in kind. “It’s about being willing to sac— sacri—” I stumbled over the word. “It’s about being ready to give yourself up for everypony you care about! Grandma Moonshine already gave me that speech!”

“Do you really know what that means, though?” Dad rumbled like thunder. “Because I’m sorry, Night, but I find it hard to believe that you truly understand. It took me until a few years after I got my cutie mark to fully appreciate your grandma Moonshine’s speech.”

“I do, though!” I looked at the ground, tears streaking down my cheeks. “Tell him, Princess!”

Princess Luna shifted beside me, but said nothing.

Dad put a hoof under my chin and lifted it to gaze deeply into my eyes. “Look me in the eye, and tell me, then. What does being in the Guard mean to you?”

“It… it means doing what’s right, even if it’s scary….” I muttered, looking down. “I know there’s a chance that someday you and Mom might head to work and not come home. I know! It’s hard for me to talk about, so I don’t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand!”

I shook my head out of Dad’s grip and buried it into his chest. “I get it! Really, I do! That’s why I want to be in the Guard! Every night and day, you and Mom walk out the door and do the bravest thing I can think of—even if nothing happens to you!” I looked back up to see Dad looking down, a wistful smile on his face.

“I—” I bit my lip. “I just want to be as brave as you and Mom…. I want to be brave enough to do whatever it takes to help my friends and family.”

“Oh, Night….” Dad swept me into a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry. Sometimes I forget just how much more responsible you are compared to me at that age.”

“So you’ll make me your squire?” I sniffed into his foreleg.

“I still need to talk to your mother—”

“Aww…” I kicked the ground.

“—but, at the very least, you can be my unofficial squire.”

“Princess approved?” I looked at Luna.

“Princess approved.” Luna nodded, smiling. “We wouldn’t dream of holding thee back from thy newfound calling.” She gestured to my flank—all tingly and warm and sparkly?

“No way!” I looked back to see a pair of thestral wings cradling a crescent moon. “Dad! Dad! Look! I got my cutie mark! Mom can’t say ‘no’ now! I’m meant to be a guard!”

There was a rock slide turning into an avalanche as Dad’s chuckles turned into roars of laughter. He boosted my giggling form on his back, and we flew around the throne room, screeing in glee. After a few laps, he crashed into the other guard and pulled him into a one-sided dance.

“Come, Crescent! Join them!” Luna bellowed. “We believe the current phrase is ‘shake thine booty!’”

The guard’s left eyebrow twitched.

“Shake it! We command thee!”





“Woah….” The Crusaders were looking at me with starry eyes. “So, you’re like, actually a knight or something?”

“Mom thought squirehood was a bit much.” I sighed, poking the ground with one hoof. “It would have been really cool, though.”

“Totally!” Scootaloo had the most sparkles.

“Y-you don’t really think you’re gonna…” Diamond trailed off, strangely subdued from my story.

“Nah.” I shook my head. “Dad says I’ll have it easy. At the rate the Elements are going, every evil in Equestria is probably going to end up bound, resealed, or reformed at least twice by the time I finally get into the Guard. Pretty sure there won’t be any super evils left to, you know… kill me….” I squirmed a bit. “Although, I might get tasked with watching the reformed ones…. I really don’t want to watch Discord.”

“Oh, he ain’t that bad,” Apple Bloom chuckled. “He helped us out on a few of our more… intense cutie mark runs. Actually, he’s pretty fun when you get to know him.”

“No thanks.” I shivered at the thought of how much tree sap that probably involved. “I don’t want to—” The schoolbell started clanging and I looked to the schoolhouse to see Miss Cheerilee standing by the door with our homework.

“We’ll talk later.” Quickly packing my lunch up, I trotted towards the classroom. “I’ve got eraser cleaning duty before class starts. See ya in a few!”

“See ya!” everypony chorused back.

The hungry sun glared down upon me as I ran from the shade of the tree for the school, but I barely felt it next to the warm tingle on my flank.

It really had been too long since anypony had asked.
> Talons and Fangs
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was hungrier than usual today. Its slobbering jaws breathed hot death on the back of our necks as we sat outside Sugarcube Corner, and our cool, icy milkshakes could barely hold it at bay for even a few seconds a sip.

Hot, sticky, and damp with sweat, I gave in to the urge to guzzle the last of my mango caterpillar shake in one go. The siren song of air conditioning called to me from inside, but my sunstroked friends had refused every suggestion of a strategic retreat.

“Apple Bloom…” Diamond whined as she lifted her head from the table to toss back some more of her chocolate shake. “Why can’t we go inside?”

“I told ya a million times already, Diamond. Gabby ain’t here yet!” Bloom snorted. “It’d be plum rude to start without her!”

“But we’ve already started without her.” Silver gazed at Bloom through half-lidded eyes as she daintily took another sip of strawberry. “Perfectly good milkshakes. Perfectly beautiful day. All that’s missing is the perfect atmosphere.”

“Wimp!” I stuck my tongue out at Silver and giggled as Diamond glared at me. “What?! I’m talking about the straw! You know I’d rather be inside!” I snuck a peek at the sun, which was balefully glaring down at us with a burning white intensity. “Seriously, girls. It’s hawt, and I’m sweaty, and Diamond is starting to smell.”

“Hey!” Diamond tried to thunk me in the back of the head, but I nimbly dodged out of the way.

“Just a… few more… minutes….” Sweetie panted between each slurp of prench vanilla.

“See! Sweetie is literally about to drop.” I frowned. “I’m not giving her mouth-to-mouth if she passes out.”

“But Gabby said she’d meet us outside Sugarcube Corner.” Apple Bloom crossed her hooves and pouted. “I. Ain’t. Budgin’.”

“Well, maybe we’ll just go in without you if you’re gonna be so pigheaded about it!” Diamond huffed, sticking her snout up into the air.

“No….” I muttered a few of Dad’s favorite words under my breath. “Squadmates stick together. We should stay outside if they’re going to punish themselves.” I sighed. “Solidarity, sister.”

“You’re darn tootin‘!” Bloom stomped a hoof into the table.

“Don’t push it,” I growled, burying my head in my hooves to give me some sweet, sweet shade. “I’m still really tempted to just drag you all inside.”

“Ha! You’d have to catch me first!” Scootaloo tore her gaze from the sky to give me a cheeky grin.

“Endurance hunting.” My fangs flashed in the sunlight. “I don’t have to catch you when you’ll tire way before I do.”

“I don’t know.” Scoots buzzed her wings. “Have you seen how long I can last on my scooter these days?”

“I’ll just pretend you’re a chicken, Scootaloo. That’ll make it easy!” I squeaked, puffing out my chest and rustling my own wings. “Hunting’s in my blood!”

“We know, we know….” Scoots grumbled, her smile suddenly souring. “You’ve been telling us about your trip to Canterlot all week.”

“Screeheeheeheehee! I still can’t believe I can make the trip all on my own without a break! I didn’t even need to use Dad’s skein, and—” I took a deep breath as Scoots frown deepened, my ears splaying back. “Oh… I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Sorry….”

“Nah. You’re cool.” Scoots blew a bit of her mane out of her eyes and forced a smile. “It’s like you said back at Santa Maneico. We’re all good at different things.”

“Aww… Scoots….” Sweetie and Apple Bloom wrapped Scootaloo in a hug until she started gagging.

“Marvelous.” Diamond tossed back the last of her milkshake with a shiver. “Can we go inside yet?”

“Hey, girls!” A large, feathery missile crashed into the group hug across from me. “Why are we hugging?!”

“That would be a yes,” Silver droned.

“DT! Silver!” The grey griffon swept both the other fillies into the hug. “I’ve heard so much about you!” Her head rotated almost one hundred and eighty degrees to lock a wide predatory eye on me. “And you, Nightingale.”

“Umm….” I squirmed. “Good things, I hope?”

“Oh, totally.” Gabby’s beak curved up in a razor sharp grin. “Chocolate-covered flies?” She held out a bag.

“If you don’t mind….” I hesitantly put a hoof in the bag only to pull out a white, wriggling mass. “These are maggots.”

“Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww!” Diamond leapt back and brushed off a few larvae that had fallen on her.

“Oh! Sorry! Wrong bag!” Gabby pulled her talon back and offered another bag. “That was my lunch.”

“Eh, don’t worry.” I licked my lips and sampled a few. “Oh, wow! How did you make them this flavorful!” I quickly downed the rest of the pungent, little wrigglers, humming in happiness as they squigled about in my tummy.

“You like them?!” Gabby chirped.

“Like hay I do!” I took a few of the chocolate covered flies and popped them in my mouth. They had a nice crunchy center that was surrounded by soft, melty milk chocolate. “If I’d known you were gonna bring treats I would have brought you some candy coated cockroaches. Here!” I pulled out a cricket kabob from my saddlebags and tossed it to her. “For the maggots!”

“Celestia help us all, there’s two of them.” Silver sipped up the last few drops of her shake.

“Screeheehee!” I cackled as the buzz of chocolate and ice cream pounded through my veins. Licking some of the melted chocolate off my hooves, I flared my wings and cast everypony in shadow. “Foolish prey ponies! The sun witch can’t help you now!”

“Yeah! Carnivores forever!” Gabby leapt to my side, and we posed.

“Well, I guess that answers the question of whether or not they’ll get along,” Apple Bloom drawled.

“They’re like two peas in a pod.” Sweetie put a hoof to her mouth and giggled.

“Two feathers stuck together.” Scootaloo grinned.

Diamond’s eyes glittered mischievously. “Two maggots acting like—”

“No! Bad Diamond!” I immediately pounced on her and she let out a squeak as I nipped her ear. “My dad told you not to use that word.”

“But he used it!” Diamond kept on laughing, so I bit her again. “Night, stop! You’re not supposed to eat other ponies!”

“Are they always like this?” Gabby arched her brow.

“On occasion,” Silver deadpanned. “Most of the time, they’re just oblivious.”

“Oblivious to what?” Diamond and I stopped roughhousing to blink up at the rest of our grinning friends.

“That.” Silver shrugged, waving at us like it explained everything. Picking up our empty glasses, she trotted for the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to actually go inside.”

“I forgot the air conditioning!” Diamond gasped. “Hey! Wait up!” In a flash, she pulled out from under me and raced away. “Last one in pays for the next round!”

“Not it!” Bloom, Sweetie, and Scoots vanished, leaving a small crusader-shaped dust cloud behind as they dragged Gabby through the door with them.

“Ooof!” Without Diamond supporting me, I tumbled down and ate dirt. “No fair, Diamond! You didn’t give me any warning!”

“Not my problem!” Diamond poked her head back out the door to stick her tongue out at me. “Come on, now! You’re buying!”

“Fine….” Pulling myself up, I brushed off the dirt clinging to me. “But I get to pick the flavor.”

She grinned maliciously. “Oh, really? Planning some revenge?”

“Gabby will like hers.” I bit my lip and looked away.

“Do it! I dare you!” Diamond laughed. “No, I double dog dare you! It’ll be worth eating a few bugs just to see everypony else’s face. Just…” She shivered. “…make sure mine isn’t still wriggling.”

“Hey, Diamond!” Apple Bloom shouted from inside. “There ain’t any tables left! We’re going to have to share one with Rumble and Button Mash!”

“That’s fine!” Diamond called back over her shoulder. “I’m sure Night won’t mind paying for a few extra shakes!” She winked at me. “Says she has something special planned!”

Oh, you little—

I took a deep breath and dug out my bit purse to stare at it for a few moments. I could do it if I wanted to…. Should I? No, but it was really tempting with Rumble in the mix.

“This isn’t something a Platoon Commander should be doing….” I sighed, trotting inside.

All the tables were packed with ponies, and I had to actually fly up to spot the girls in the far corner. They waved at me—Diamond grinning like a loon under moon—while Rumble and Button just nodded my way.

My bearing gained, I landed back on the floor, and approached the counter. The line was almost out the door, but it flew by fast as the butterflies in my stomach fluttered about.

“Heya, Night! Sorry I can’t skadoodle on over to your table, but— Oooh… tickly tummy.” The Pink monster’s smile gleamed with way too many teeth as I stepped up to the register. “You’re planning something, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not….” I squirmed.

“You suuuuure?” she leaned forward. “A tickly tummy tells no lies, so somepony is gonna get pranked.”

“Well…” Poking at the floor, I looked at anywhere but the mare in front of me.

“That’s awesome!” Pinkie Pie was across the counter before I could blink, sweeping me up in a hug. “I didn’t peg you for a prankster!”

“I’m not!” I squeaked as my vision turned Pink. “Please don’t tell my parents!”

“Are you kidding?!” Pinkie’s grin was manic as she ruffled my mane. “They’ll probably be thrilled!” She giggled. “Well, at least your dad will be!” Her ears perked and she leaned in to whisper to me. “Can I help? Huh? Can I? Can I? Can I?”

I bit my lip and shuffled from hoof to hoof for a few seconds before pushing my bit bag on her. “You could… umm… maybe bring us some more milkshakes?”

“Annnnnnnd?” Pinkie leaned in further until her sparkling blue eyes were all I could see.

“I don’t know!” I whined. “I don’t do pranks! Diamond wants me to order some of your bug shakes for everypony, but—”

“Okie, doki, loki!” A Pink hoof cut off my protests. “You just leave everything to your Auntie Pinkie Pie!”

“You’re not my aunt…” I mumbled as she patted my head. As I turned to head back to our table, she whistled and tossed me back my bit pouch—still completely full of bits.

“It’s on the house!” She winked. “I’ll bring them back in a few.”

“Thanks.” I gave her one last small smile and made my way to our table. “Hey, guys! Pinkie will be bringing them in a few.”

“But ya didn’t take our orders.” Apple Bloom squinted at me.

“Uhh….” There was the most interesting speck of chocolate on the table.

“Don’t worry, Night. It’s not a surprise.” Diamond tittered as she came to my rescue. “I just asked her to get us a special something from Sugarcube Corner’s secret menu.”

“Sugarcube Corner has a secret menu?” Rumble tilted his head to the side.

“Every great restaurant has a secret menu,” Diamond huffed. “Didn’t you know? It’s all the rage nowadays.”

“I ain’t heard of a secret menu.” Apple Bloom frowned. “Have you girls?”

“I think Rarity’s mentioned those before?” Sweetie hummed. “I can’t remember for what, though.”

“It’s totally a thing in Griffonstone.” Gabby scratched her chin with one talon. “Although, they usually just sell the same food at a hyped up, secret price.”

“Might as well see what we get and give it a try.” Scootaloo shrugged and turned to me. “So what did you get us?”

“Uhh….” I squirmed.

“Fillies and gentlecolts!” Pinkie was just in the nick of time as she plopped down a tray of dark grey—almost black—milkshakes. “I present you with the Apocalypse Crunch! Guaranteed to set your world on fire and have you crawl out through the fallout for more!”

Gabby blinked, her beak clicking open and closed as she tried to formulate the question on all our minds.

“Don’t.” Apple Bloom patted Gabby on the back. “Just. Don’t. It’s Pinkie being Pinkie.”

“If you say so…” Gabby muttered, picking up her shake to take a sip. “Woah, that’s some dark chocolate.” She licked her beak and crunched several of the black, brittle bits floating in the murky depths. “Is that—”

“Shhhhhhh! Don’t spoil the secret ingredient!” Pinkie waved frantically. “Let the others guess!”

“I still want to know how you got them so—”

“Shoosh! Trade secret!”

Pulling my glass back, I chugged some of my shake and gave a mighty belch. The first go didn’t make anything really click for me, but the second wave gave me quite a few candy chunks to chew on. As I bit into the brittle pieces of sugary goodness, I shivered in recognition. It was Dad’s candy-coated cockroach recipe.

Everypony was going to freak.

It was too late to stop them, though. They were all greedily slurping away. Even Diamond was going at it with gusto. I hadn’t actually believed she’d do it, but there she went, chugging like a champ.

It sent another wave of butterflies fluttering through my stomach.

I squirmed for a minute or two while everypony else put out guess after guess, and Pinkie’s grin grew wider and wider with every no. Finally, a small window opened where nopony was taking a sip, so I took the plunge.

“Is it cockroaches?”

“Aww, come on, Night! That ain’t funny!” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Pinkie knows enough not to do that! Only you and Gabby eat bugs!”

Pinkie’s grin grew even wider, but she didn’t say anything, and my ears splayed back as everypony went back to sipping their shakes. Gabby caught my eye and arched her brow, so I shrugged. She knew, and so did I, but it was out of our hooves as far as Pinkie was concerned.

Several more rounds of guessing followed until Diamond finished the last of her shake and set her empty glass down. With a loud snap, she cricked her neck and grinned at Rumble and Scootaloo as they shared a second shake.

“Cockroaches.” Her smugness was thicker than the chocolate.

Apple Bloom snorted. “Come on, Diamond. Quit—”

“And we have a winner!” A cannon fired in the background.

Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Rumble all made spit takes; the former soaked Apple Bloom mid-sentence, while the lovebirds gushed all over each other. Silver frowned mid-sip, but didn’t let go of the straw. After a second or two, she just shrugged and returned to drinking, pointedly ignoring the writhing mass of Button Mash laughing his flank off on the floor next to her.

There was a moment of silence. Then, Scootaloo licked a bit of chocolate off of Rumble, and he burst into a fit of laughter.

“You planned this.” Apple Bloom glowered at me and Diamond, grabbing a napkin to wipe herself down.

“I tried to avoid the spit take!” My ears splayed back, and I studied that fascinating piece of table chocolate again. It had some new, cool friends to talk to, and—

“I didn’t!~”

I could hear the smugness in Diamond’s grin, and I cringed as Apple Bloom’s glare started to burn like the sun. “Uhh… Pinkie, shouldn’t you be back at the counter by now? The line must be piled out the door by now! I can help you with—”

A Pink hoof filled my mouth once more as Pinkie’s eyes danced with demonic, blue mirth. “I got it covered, Night.” She pulled a string out of her hair momentarily, and another cannon fired in the background again. “Thank you!” Pinkie hopped above the crowd only to freeze in mid air for a few seconds as she waved to her latest victim.

“I— I— I—” My squeaks scritch-scratched like a broken record. “Diamond made me do it!”

“I did no such thing!” Diamond sniffed imperiously before bursting into giggles. “If anything, it was your idea!”

“I wasn’t really gonna—” Cold, chocolatey goodness hit me square in the face.

“And now we’re even.” Bloom nodded. “Really, Night, don’t you fret none. You got us real good.”

“Mrglmrff….” I squirmed.

“O’course, now we all really need a bath.” Apple Bloom studied her sticky brown face in the napkin dispenser.

“I don’t!” Diamond tittered.

“I will order another shake just to toss it in your face,” Apple Bloom growled.

“Also—” I sniffed my foreleg and felt my nostrils wrinkle. “—we kinda still smell a little from baking in the blasted sun.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s just you.” Diamond stuck her tongue out at me.

I leaned in to take a long, deep sniff of her mane. “Nope. That definitely includes you.”

“Why you—” Diamond raised a hoof only to pause mid-thwap and lower it. “Actually, that’s a good idea. We can all go to the spa. My treat. Does that sound good to you, Gabby?”

“Sure?” The griffon shrugged. “I’m up for whatever, really. My vacation lasts all weekend, so we got time.” She grinned at me. “We have got to go hunting at some point, though. Just the two of us.”

“Well, it’s supposed to rain for a couple hours soon, but the skies should be clear after sunset.” I tapped my chin. “We could do it then?”

“Great!” She leapt in the air and did a loop. “It’s settled then. Come on, girls!”





My rump wriggled as I crept up on an unsuspecting butterfly. It fluttered carelessly in the wind, dancing with its gossamer wings to a song only it could hear. It did not see the doom approaching it from the shadows as I slunk through the grass on my belly. Every time it turned towards me, I froze, letting it—

Oh, horseapples! It did it again!

Years of training for the Lunar Guard kept me as still as stone and as silent as death. I barely breathed as my prey circled back towards me, but as it finally neared leaping distance my muscles tensed and I—

There was an eagle’s shriek and the butterfly suddenly vanished in a grey blur.

“Gabby!” I let out piteous mewl. “That one was mine!”

“I know.” Her beak curved upwards in a razor sharp grin, and she tossed me the butterfly carcass—sliced cleanly in half. “I just couldn’t resist.”

“At least you didn’t eat it.” I bit into one of the flakey wings and hummed. “Most of the thestrals back in Canterlot were jerks like that.”

“You’re telling me.” Gabby giggled. “Until recently just about every griffon in Griffonstone was like that.”

“Even the adults?” I blinked.

“Especially the adults.” Gabby nodded. “I’ve seen a flock of twenty griffons break formation and start fighting over a piece of aluminum foil.”

“What?” My tail flicked back and forth. “How does that even— Why would they ever— Nope! I don’t believe you!”

“It’s true, though!” she squawked, fluffing out her chest. “They saw it shining in the sun and thought somepony had dropped their bit pouch. The greedy birdbrains were so busy fighting that they didn’t even notice the raven that swooped in to snatch it up for a nest.”

I squirmed at the thought of so little discipline. “No offense, but griffons seem kind of…”

“Dense?” Gabby shrugged at my wince. “What? It isn’t insulting if I’m the one saying it. We were totally a bunch of pea-brained, money grubbing featherbrains before Empress Gilda started slapping some sense into us.”

“Literally or figuratively?” I eyed the talons that had cleanly sliced my latest meal in two.

“Both.” She grinned. “Oh, look! Another cricket came out to play!”

Gabby darted after her new prey as it shot from shadow to shadow. It landed on a tree, and she quickly closed in with a shriek. The little bugger was wily, though, and it leapt away faster than she could correct. With a solid thunk, she hit the tree and bonked right off the trunk into the bushes below.

Giggling, I looked up at the sky to watch the stars above. It was certainly a bright night tonight. Now that the sun was finally down, the sky was painted in the most beautiful mix of lighter greys. Little specks of white shed soft starlight upon us, while silver swirls danced in the void around them. The moon dominated the horizon, standing out in a stark, white relief that was almost painful to look at. I could have watched it for hours as it climbed through the sky, but the sound of cricketsong called to me, or more precisely, my stomach.

Hunching low to the ground, I let out a few clicks so I could get a read on the crickets still hiding in the grass. While Gabby was stuck pursuing her single elusive prey, I had a whole smorgasboard I could be hunting down.

I slunk towards a group of four to my left—loudly playing their cricketsong like a string quartet. I inched closer and closer to them, my rump wriggling as I reached pouncing distance. There I paused, waiting until I knew their guard was down.

“Scree!”

I leapt. They leapt. One was not quite fast enough.

My fangs pierced its chitin as my jaw closed around it, yet it insisted on trying to feebly kick its way free all the same. I chomped down a second time and it twitched once before going still. Juices leaked from its meaty center to tease my tongue as I chewed, making me hum in appreciation after swallowing.

“Oh… that was good.” I shivered.

“I got ya! Wait! No! Ahhhhh—” Another thud echoed through the clearing as Gabby failed to catch her prey again. “Mrglmff!” She spit out a bit of bark. “Guess it’s too dark to hunt something as small as a cricket. You wanna go fishing instead? I saw this killer lake as I was flying into town. The water was crystal clear, and there were some big fish splashing around the shallows.”

“You want to trade crashing into trees with dashing yourself against rocks?” I shook my head.

“We could hunt some game in Whitetail Woods then?”

“Ponies will freak if they see that.” I squirmed. “It’s not a good idea.”

“I did it last time I was here.” Gabby shrugged. “Nopony noticed in the slightest.”

“I— I can’t.” I bit my lip. “Even if you’re right, my parents told me not to. I don’t know how it is for griffons, but it’s rare for thestrals to eat anything other than insects.”

“But why?” She cocked her head to the side. “There’s nothing wrong with a little variety every now and then. Don’t tell me you’re afraid other ponies would get grossed out. They already freak when we eat bugs. You saw the girls earlier!”

“It’s— I— Umm—” I poked at the ground. “I’m supposed to save that stuff for special occasions, alright?”

“You mean like for dates?” Gabby rubbed the back of her head.

“Yes! Wait, no! Not that kind of date!” My neck was suddenly hot. “It’s for special holidays and celebrations, not…” I shuffled from hoof to hoof, biting my lip hard enough to draw a tiny trickle of blood. “…stupid filly and colt things.”

“Ah, gotcha.” Gabby nodded. “Seems kinda weird to me, but if that’s how you want it.”

“It is.” I looked out towards home. “Besides, I don’t want to spoil my appetite too much.”

“Wait. You mean, this isn’t dinner for you?”

“Is it dinner for you?” My tail twitched. “I just wanted a snack.”

“Oh….” Gabby wilted slightly. “I… uh… might have skipped my actual dinner to hunt with you. It’s not a big deal. I’ll just—”

“Come home and have dinner with me.” I frowned, putting my hoof around her shoulder. “I’m sure my parents won’t mind.”

“You mean it?” Gabby blinked at me owlishly.

“Sure.” My frown morphed into a smile. “We’re friends now, right? I got your back.”

“Thanks.” She grinned and slapped me on the back. “You’re pretty cool, you know that?”

I gave a squeaky snort. “I’m not that cool compared to Diamond and the others. Really, I don’t get why everypony insists that I am.”

“You have a lot to learn about being cool, then.” Gabby laughed.

“Tell me about it.” I launched myself into the air and circled the clearing a few times. “Come on! My house is this way!”





“Mom! Dad! I’m home!” My voice carried through the house as I opened the door. “I hope it’s alright, but I brought a friend for dinner! She kinda missed out on hers because we were hunting in the park!”

“You were both hunting?” Mom walked into the hall and blinked. Squinting, she peered down at Gabby, holding her candle forward to get a good look. “Oh, a griffon. Well, at least we won’t need to worry about grossing anypony out.”

“Did you think I took one of the crusaders or something?” I furrowed my brow.

“Maybe.” Mom smiled and ruffled my mane. “I go out to help your father hunt, you know. It’s not that big a leap to think that you might do it too with your very special somepony.”

“Wha? Eww!” I squeaked. “Mom!”

“I know, I know.” She brought a hoof to her mouth and chuckled. “You aren’t interested in that stuff yet. You two have perfect timing, though. The flatbread is just about done. Night, go set the table for one more, then keep your friend company. Miss…”

“Gabby.” The griffon nodded, holding her talon out to shake Mom’s hoof.

“Miss Gabby.” Mom smiled as she took the offered talon. “If you could just head into the living room over there, Night will be with you in a moment. Would you like my candle?”

“I’m good.” Gabby waved Mom off. “I have pretty good night vision.”

“Excellent.” Mom turned to head back into the kitchen, and I zooped past her.

Knife. Fork. Napkin. Plate. Spoon! Did we need spoons tonight? Eh, might as well toss it in.

I ran from the kitchen to the dining room and launched everything from my back with a practiced buck. It flipped end over end through the air, landing with a soft thwump on the center of the table.

“Score!” I pumped my hoof before cantering up to make everything nice and neat.

“Don’t throw the cutlery when we have guests, Night!” Dad bellowed from the family room. “You might actually hurt somepony!”

“Sorry, sir!” I booked it to the family room and pounced on Dad to hug him. “Just getting the job done quick.”

“Nice and prompt,” he rumbled as he squeezed me back. “Excellent work, soldier.”

My ear flicked as the oven timer went off and the crackle of thunder filled the house. “Mom, need any more help?!”

“I’m fine, sweetie!” Mom called back. “You just go sit with your friend while your father and I bring everything in. Tempered—” Dad jumped a little beneath me. “—fill a few pitchers of water and bring them out to the girls!”

“Yes, dear.” Dad stretched, and a few of his joints popped with very loud and audible cracks.

“Quickly now!~” Mom teased. “You’re still on thin ice for trying to sneak a peek at my secret ingredient earlier! If you don’t want to sleep on the couch, then get to it!”

“I can just push the couch into the bed, you know!” Dad roared back as he picked up speed and cantered toward the kitchen.

“Ah, but that’s cheating! You do that and you’re sleeping on the floor!” Mom giggled from somewhere… underneath us?

“And if I buck the bed apart?!” There was a brief rumble from the sink as Dad turned it on.

“Then we’ll both be sleeping on the floor!” Mom’s giggles became outright laughter. “It’ll be just like our honeymoon!”

“Your parents are weird.” Gabby chuckled as I pulled her into the dining room.

“Yeah, but they’re also pretty awesome.” I puffed out my chest. “They taught me everything I know!”

“Really? Wish my parents would do that,” she whistled. “The only time my family ever taught me anything was when Uncle Grubber gave me a free lesson on why there’s no such thing as a free lesson.”

“Sorry….” I squirmed in my seat.

“Nothing to apologize for.” Gabby grinned. “You know, you have this bad habit of apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.”

“I do not!”

“Do too.”

“Do not!”

“Do too.”

“Do no—” I blinked as I caught Dad smirking at me in the door, and I realized how stupid this argument must sound.

“Sorry….” I lowered my gaze.

“Ha! Now you’re just messing with me!” Gabby slapped me on the back.

“Play nice, girls.” Dad trotted in and lifted two pitchers of water and ice off his back. As he set them down, the snow and hail inside swirled about, settling with a few tinks. Several glasses quickly joined them and he poured us all a round.

“Alright, then.” Mom slowly walked into the room with a bottle wrapped in one wing and a platter of hot, flakey flatbread balanced on the other. “Tonight we have something I found on my recent mission with Princess Twilight and her friends. It’s an istallion cheese called casu marzu.”

Setting the bottle and plate down, she retreated back into the kitchen and returned with a covered tray. “It’s a pretty simple dish. Just spread the cheese on the bread and enjoy.”

A sharp, pungent smell assaulted my nostrils as Mom lifted the tray up to reveal an almost liquidy cheese that writhed with hundreds of tasty wriggly maggots, Without missing a beat, she dug her knife in and spread the cheese—maggots still attached—on a piece of bread and popped it into her mouth. Chewing slowly, she licked her lips and briefly leaned over to kiss Dad.

“Surprise.” She smiled as his wings rustled violently and he coughed, finally falling into her seat and rubbing her stomach. “Ooof…. At least I still got it for another couple of months.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for you to lose it, dear.” Dad gave a rumbling laugh as he recovered. “You’ll always be as pretty as the day I met you.”

“We were six when we met, Tempered.” Mom giggled.

“Sun blast it all, I can’t use that line then, can I?”

“Not unless you want me to have to arrest you, dear.”

“You’ve put me in jail before, Glory.” Dad wiggled his eyebrows as he took a piece of bread and lifted his knife. “I have very fond memories of a night or two in juvie thanks to you.”

“You broke the law, doofus.” Mom laughed.

“I am the law.” Dad stuck his tongue out before tearing off a bite of his bread.

“Scree!” I lunged to get my own share, and several of the maggots suddenly leapt for freedom. “Oh, wow, they do stunts!”

“Best. Dinner. Ever.” Gabby moaned as she took a bite.

“Happy anniversary, dear!” Mom popped the cork on the bottle and Dad suddenly tumbled to the floor.

“I thought our anniversary was midsummer!” Several bad words floated up from under the table.

“It is.” Mom tittered, pouring us all a small glass of something dark. “I just wanted to check that you remembered.”

“Sun-blasted hormones.” Dad groaned as he climbed back in his seat.

“Only eight more months!” Mom chirped as she bit into another slice. “Mmmm…. You know, normally I don’t like bugs if they’re still wriggling, but this is really good!”

“That would be the cravings, dear.” Dad quickly downed his glass and blinked. “Oh, right. Pregnant. Still, this is good stuff. Where’d you get it?”

“It’s that bottle Twilight gave us when Pinkie threw the baby shower. Normally, you drink wine with this, but…”

“Of course.” Dad nodded. “Which baby shower, though?”

“The first one. Twilight said she and her friends donated it themselves.”

“Donated what?” Gabby took a sip of hers and frowned.

“A couple Ks and Qs. Maybe a U and a T.” Dad licked his lips.

“That doesn’t really answer my question.” Gabby’s next bite was more cheese than bread.

“I’ll take it if you don’t want it!” I greedily guzzled the rest of mine down and took her glass. “It’s really tangy!”

“Would you look at that, Glory?” Dad laughed. “We got a connoisseur on our hooves! We’ll have to start packing little bottles instead of juice boxes soon!”

“No.” Mom thwapped him with a wing and kissed him on the nose. “Bad Tempered.”

“Your parents are so weird.” Gabby shook her head.

I just giggled and nodded along, dipping my next slice of bread in the dark, tangy goodness.

Then something tickled my brain. “Hey, Gabby? Did I tell you that I taught Scootaloo how to make chicken noodle?”

Gabby choked, gagged, and then we all burst out laughing.
> Batten the Hatches
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Psst!” One of the bushes by the schoolhouse hissed at me as I swooped in for a landing. Squinting at it, I adjusted my shades in the early morning light, but its occupants remained well hidden.

“Psst! Night! Get over here before she sees you!” A white hoof reached out to drag me into the bush, and I leapt back.

“What are you doing, Sweetie and…” I bit my lip. “…Apple Bloom?”

“We’re waiting for Scoots to show up.” Apple Bloom poked her head out.

“In a bush?” I tilted my head to the side. “Why didn’t you just walk to school with her like you normally do?”

“Because she wanted to walk with somepony else,” Sweetie giggled giggly.

“Now get in the bush so we can spy on her when she gets here.” Bloom nodded towards their hiding spot.

“Puh-lease!” There was a sniff from off to the side as Diamond walked up. “Spying from a bush? What are you, three? You can spy on ponies without acting like foals.”

“Guys…” I squirmed. “Can we not?”

“Aww, come on, Night! It’s all in good fun!” Bloom grinned. “And we did the same to you when you dated Rumble!”

“We didn’t date!” I squeaked.

“Did too!” Diamond rolled her eyes and snorted.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Then why are you blushing?!” Diamond tittered.

“Why are you blushing?!” I shot back, heat creeping up my neck.

“You’re the only one blushing,” Silver droned as she walked up. “Now either get in the bush or calm down. Dinky said Scoots and Rumble were just down the road.”

Pouting, I rustled my wings and tried to ignore how the sun was scorching me alive. My back burned, I was starting to sweat, and my wingpits were all itchy and gross. Diamond kept tittering, making me squirm even more, while Silver just arched her brow at me.

Finally, I leapt into the bush for some sweet, sweet shade. “Rrrrrrgh! Raze the mother—” Sweetie gasped as I let loose a string of bad Dad words. “—moon-forsaken sun!”

“Night!” Bloom swatted me.

“Oooh, such a bad filly!” Diamond giggled harder.

“Don’t swear at the sun, Night.” Silver adjusted her glasses. “It’s not that hot out.”

“Yes it is.” I crossed my forelegs in front of me and pouted at the ground.

“That’s not the sun, stupid.” Silver sniffed.

My ear flicked. “What do you mean by—”

“Hi, guys! What ya doing?!”

“Scree-eeee!” I jumped a few meters in the air as Scootaloo plummeted out of the sky.

“Scoots!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie clutched their chests. “You’re supposed to be walking in with Rumble!”

“Meh.” Scoots smirked. “We figured you’d all be waiting to spy on us, so we split before the school came in sight.”

“I wasn’t going to spy on you,” I muttered in the shade of my shrubbery.

Scootaloo pointed at my cover. “The bush says otherwise.”

“For shame, Nightingale. For shame.” Diamond shook her head and smiled.

“You’re no better,” Scoots snickered. “I’ve seen you sneaking glances at us.” She stuck out her tongue. “You jealous?”

“No!” Diamond’s cheeks were dark as the new moon. “I most certainly am not!”

My ears flicked a few times, and I looked at everypony else as they giggled at Diamond’s expense. Sighing, I just smiled and set a hoof on her withers. “Don’t worry, Diamond…. We’ll always have your back. Like Mom always says, fillies before willies.”

“Yeah!” Everypony chimed, slapping Diamond on the back.

“I’m not jealous!” She blushed harder and looked at the ground as the bell rang. With a quick burst of speed, she dashed away from us and into the schoolhouse, muttering all sorts of nonsensical things.





Brrrrrring!

I glanced up from my homework to see a few ponies trudging forward with incomplete tests. The rest of the class had already stampeded past them, and I winced at the sight of a teary-eyed Archer, picking up the scattered remains of his fallen packet. Quickly stuffing my things in my bag, I moved to help him, but found my way blocked by a wall of Diamond.

“Hey, Night….” She squirmed a little as she met my gaze, and my wings rustled in kind.

“Hey, Diamond.” I nodded to her as we both poked at the floor. “Sorry about this morning. I, uh, wasn’t trying to make things worse.”

Diamond frowned, shoring herself up with a haughty huff. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, doofus. That was all Scootaloo.”

“But you—”

“It’s. All. On. Scoots.” Diamond’s coat bristled a little as she growled at me. “Stop being an idiot. You were just trying to help.”

“Some help I was.” I kicked the ground. “Was it something I said?”

“No, I just—” Diamond sputtered a bit. “Look, Night. You all just caught me by surprise at the end. It happens. Let’s just forget it and head to Sugarcube Corner.”

I sucked in a breath. “Alright, let me just—” I looked to see Archer and the other straggling students were long gone. Only Cheerilee was there, sneaking a peek at us every so often as she graded the tests. “Nevermind,” I sighed. “The others going to join us?”

“No.” Diamond shook her head. “Apparently, they all have other things to do, so it’ll just be the two of us.”

“Even Silver?” I blinked, flicking an ear at the impossibility of what I’d just heard.

“Even Silver.”  Diamond sniffed.

“Woah…. Silver never has plans.”

“I know! It’s downright freaky!” Diamond tossed her mane back as she huffed. “At least I have you. It’d be pointless to go by myself.”

“Mhmm.” I nodded as we walked to the door. Glancing up, I saw a couple pegasi pushing clouds into the start of dark grey clump and whistled. “That’s going to be one tartarus of a storm. Did you bring your umbrella?”

“We’ll be in and out before it starts.” Diamond waved a hoof dismissively. “I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so.” I shrugged. “How did you do on the test?”

“I did great!” Diamond puffed out her chest. “I even remembered all eight ancient artifacts of Meadowbrook!”

“Uhh, Diamond….” I rubbed the back of my head. “There are only seven great artifacts of Meadowbrook. The Cape of Capering, the Boots of Banishment, the Belt of Buoyancy, the Horn of Hornswoggling, the Pants of Prancing, the Feather of Flittering, and the Orb of Confusion.”

The beaming filly before me stumbled a step, her smile faltering. “But… but what about the Diadem of Disillusionment?”

I shook my head. “Sorry, Diamond. It doesn’t exist.”

“Aww, horseapples.” Diamond kicked the ground. “Daddy’s going to kill me.”

“Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes and snorted. “At worst, he’ll make your celebratory ice cream pistachio flavored.”

“And it’ll be the absolute worst,” Diamond moaned as Sugarcube Corner came up on the horizon.

“Wimp.” I socked her in the shoulder and stuck my tongue out. “Know what you need? A race. A bit of running will knock that funk right out of you.” Grinning, I gestured to our goal. “Last one to Sugarcube Corner buys the first round?”

“Well….” She bit her lip and looked towards the finish line. “Yeah, you know what? You’re on.” She snorted, stopping beside me and bending down to stretch and wriggle her rump. “Gotta learn to beat you fair and square at some point.”

“You can certainly try.” I began my own stretches, sizing up any potential obstacles down the road. “You ready?”

“Uh-huh.”

“On three, then. Three. Two. One. G—”

“Oh, hi, Princess Luna!”

“Where?!” I looked around to see nothing but an empty space beside me and some tittering.

“Son of a sun witch!” I bolted after my backstabbing friend. “Diamond, that’s cheating!”

“You’re cheating!” She giggled like a loon under moon. “All that extra training and muscle?! I didn’t stand a chance!” She cantered through the door to Sugarcube Corner with me just millimeters behind her and skidded to a stop. “See! You almost beat me even with my head start.”

“You’re so totally buying after that. I had that race in the bag.” I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Whatever you say,” Diamond simpered. “Go fetch a table and I’ll make our orders.”

“Mango caterpillar, please.” I smiled at her. “Oh! And a basket of deep fried ants if Pinkie’s got them!”

“You got it.” Diamond headed towards the counter.

Making my way to an empty booth, I sat down and looked at the other tables to see who was here. Button and Pipsqueak were attacking these massive sundaes a few booths down, while Sunny Daze and Peachy Keen were doing homework as they sipped milkshakes at their table. The ficus in the corner sneezed as Sweetie Belle gave her position away, and—

Wait. What?

My face scrunched at the sight of Sweetie and Apple Bloom huddling behind a potted plant. Their faces were hidden behind groucho glasses and fake mustaches as they studiously took notes. Looking at what held their interest, I saw… Scootaloo? And Rumble….

“Aww, moonpies….” I pouted as they both sipped from the same milkshake. “Not this again.”

“Alright, orders placed! Pinkie Pie said it’d be a few minutes at most.” Diamond slid in beside me.

“Please tell me you didn’t plan this.” I frowned and crossed my forelegs in front of me.

“Plan what?” Diamond followed my gaze. “Is that Sweetie and Bloom? What are they doing hiding behind a ficus?”

I pointed at Scoots and Rumble.

“Oh! That explains it.” Diamond giggled. “Those two really need to learn more tact if they’re gonna do spy on Scoots like that.”

“You still haven’t answered me.” I squinted at her.

“No, I didn’t bring you here to spy on Scootaloo,” Diamond huffed, waving a hoof. “I didn’t even know she was planning a date.”

“Oh, thank goodness….” I sagged in my seat.

“Since we’re here, though.” She waggled her brows.

“Really, Diamond?” I whined, shifting in my seat. “I thought you wanted to spend time with me.”

“I do!” She grinned. “We’re just going to spend it shamelessly getting some dirt on Scootaloo! Come on. It’ll be fun! We can spend all day tomorrow ribbing her.”

“It doesn’t sound like fun….” My wings rustled as I squirmed in the booth. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, unable to leave the booth while I had Diamond on one side and the wall on the other.

She knew it, too. Her grin widened as I continued to say nothing, her eyes occasionally sneaking peeks at Rumble and Scoots.

“Give in to the dark side, Nightingale.” Diamond leaned towards me, and I tried to backpedal into the wall. “Let the gossip consume you.”

“Alright, alright! Just… don’t make it weird!” I squeaked, scrambling beneath the table to get to the other side. “Stupid gossip.” I snorted once sure my strategic retreat was a success. If she’d followed me, I most surely would have routed. “Why can’t fillies just roughhouse like colts do?”

“Because gossip is fun!” Diamond tittered. “Besides, we hardly ever do anything like this with all our crusading.”

“Here you go, girls!” A Pink tornado dropped off our food in a blur of motion. “You even earned some complementary groucho glasses!” She pressed something plastic into my face. “Great for incognito missions!”

“Screep!” I quickly tore the silly glasses off of my shades and glanced around to see if anypony had seen.

“Calm down, Night.” Diamond nonchalantly sipped at her shake before putting her own glasses to the side. “You’re making us look suspicious.”

“We are suspicious!” I hissed. “We’re spying on our friends.”

“Oh, please.” Diamond rolled her eyes. “Sweetie and Apple Bloom are suspicious. We’re just eating at Sugarcube Corner. Why don’t you just relax and have your fried ants?”

“But—”

“Oh my gosh, Night. You’re just as dense as Sweetie and Bloom.” Diamond chuckled. “The secret to spying on others is not getting noticed. If you just go about your business like normal, then nopony is going to think twice.”

“Really?” I eyed the crispy, dough-covered ants, dusted with sugar and crackling with the slight hiss of hot, bubbly oil.

“Really.” Diamond pushed them towards me. “We’re gonna just hang out like we normally do and maybe—just maybe—we’ll strike gold and have something to tease Scootaloo with.”

“Well, alright then….” I reached forward for a hoofful of ants and popped them in my mouth with a crunch.

“Teehee! Much better.” Diamond held a hoof to her mouth. “Now we just sneak a few peeks every so often.”

“You can do that on your own.” I muttered, pointedly looking away from Scoots in case she decided to do something icky.

“Aww! That’s so adorable!” Diamond squeed.

“What’s so adorable?” I flicked an ear.

“I don’t know!~” Diamond flicked her eyes back to me and smirked. “You’ll have to look to find out.”

Son of a sun witch. I wasn’t going to—

“Eww…. It’s like they're trying to rub each other’s face off.” I scrunched my face at the sight.

“It’s just nuzzling!” Diamond laughed.

“It’s advanced nuzzling!” I stomped a hoof on the table.

“Oh, and you would know that, how?” Diamond grinned and swatted me with her tail beneath the table.

I scowled and flicked her back. “It’s the kind of stuff my mom and dad do—”

“You mean, ‘normal couples stuff?’” Her smile widened.

“—when they’re off duty and home alone.”

“Pfft! Ahahaha! Is that what you think?” Diamond burst into giggles. “You must be blind as a bat, then. I’ve caught your parents on dates here at least three times.”

“What?! No way! When?!” My mouth hit the table.

“Usually, it’s when I’m taking a break from crusading.” Diamond shrugged. “You know, while you and the girls are off galavanting about.

“Unbelievable….” Head met hooves met table.

“Believe it.” Diamond glanced to the side again. “Oh! Score! Look at how red Scoots is!”

“Diamond,” I deadpanned.

“Yes?” She flashed me a smile only to bite her lip when I gestured to my eyes. “Oh, right…. Sorry.”

“Whatever,” I sighed, reaching for a couple more ants. Hopefully, she’d get it all out of her system soon so we could have some real fun.



“Hey, Diamond?” I pushed Diamond on the swing set, glancing at the dark, heavy clouds above us.

“Yes, Night?” Diamond kicked her legs at the top of her arc as if she was trying to push herself back towards me.

“It’s been like, three hours.” I caught her as she came back and we skidded back about half a meter before my next push. “Are you done yet?”

“Why? Do you want a turn?” She giggled.

“You know what I mean.” I sighed and braced myself for another push. “You’ve been watching Scoots and Rumble spar for forever.”

“But it’s so cute!” Diamond squealed, flailing her hooves as she swung through the air. “I didn’t know they practiced outside the Junior Guard!”

“Well, if they’re looking to beat me…” I may have puffed out my chest just a smidge.

“Oh, shush, you!” Diamond tittered and turned her gaze to the sky. “Has it really been that long, though?”

“Mhmm.” I risked a peek at Scoots and Rumble to see a squawking cloud of dirt, feathers, and limbs. “It’s gonna rain soon.” A drop of water hit my snout. “Or maybe it’s gonna rain now.”

Diamond said one of Dad’s favorite words as she tried to skid to a stop on the downswing. She was going too fast, though, and tripped, tumbling into me and sending us both to the ground.

“You’re kidding.” She frowned from on top of me, a small flash of lightning accompanying her scowl. “Aww, horseapples, you’re not. I gotta get home before—”

The only thing that saved her from facing the first wave of rain was me rolling us over. The water struck my back like a thousand tiny knives, but my coat was thick and my skin was thicker.

“Why the—” Booming thunder cut out her foul language. “—did those two stay out this long?!”

“Pegasi are built for rain.” I shrugged, and Diamond squeaked from under me, curling up to avoid the bits of water blowing in from the side.

Looking at Rumble and Scootaloo only confirmed that they had moved onto very enthusiastic mud wrestling with no sign of stopping amid the thunder and lightning. I was itching to prance in some puddles myself, but I had an earth pony shivering beneath me.

“Come on. Let’s get you home.” Unfurling one of my wings to full mast, I stepped to the side.

Diamond winced and shrunk in on herself as I moved, but not a drop landed on her as the rain pitter-pattered against my membrane. I nudged her with my snoot, and she peeked open one eye to find me grinning at her.

“Can’t take a little rain, princess?”

“Shut up.” She scowled before smiling softly. “And thanks….”

“No problem.” I nodded, pulling her to her feet. Once up, she hunkered by my side, pressing into my barrel as we walked towards the other side of town.

“Aren’t you cold?” Diamond’s breath misted in the air before her.

“No.” I felt her shiver beside me. “Why, are you?”

“Of course I’m cold!” she barked. “Who wouldn’t be cold from this?!”

“I’m not.”

“You feel cold.”

“That’s just my coat.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. If anything, I’m feeling a tad warm with you sticking so close.”

“Well, I’m not!”

“Fine, here.” I wrapped my wing firmly around her. “Feel better?”

“Much.” She squirmed into a better position.

Yeah…. It was definitely getting warm, maybe even a little hot. Good thing her house was only another block away.

We arrived without incident to find Randolph waiting on the porch, and the heat that’d been creeping up my neck started to blaze as he arched an eyebrow at us, but said nothing. Was… was I doing something wrong?

“Miss Tiara.” He nodded. “You’re usually much better at getting home on time. Your father was starting to worry.” His eyes pierced into my soul. “What were you doing out so late?”

“Nothing!” I squeaked, the sun razing me even from behind the clouds.

Diamond looked at me weirdly for a moment before rolling her eyes. “Just the normal stuff, Randolph. Sugarcube Corner and the park. No crusading today,” she tittered. “The others were too… occupied.”

“Yes, well…” Randolph frowned at me. “Do be more careful in the future.”

“I’ll, uhh…” What a lovely welcome mat. “…I’ll make sure to bring her back earlier next time.”

“See that you do.” His frown deepened as he opened the door and let us in.

“Eurgh… finally! Home sweet home!” Diamond wriggled out from under me as we walked inside and shook off what little rain had fallen on her.

“I’d better get going.” I glanced back outside as I dripped onto the floor. There was a flash of lightning and another rumble of thunder before the rain started coming down even harder. The wind was picking up, and I needed to get home before it got too bad.

“What?! Are you crazy?!” Diamond gaped a second or two before shaking her head and tutting. “You’re absolutely batty, aren’t you?” She walked behind me and pushed me further inside. “You’re staying here until the storm is— Ah! You’re soaking wet!” She glared at the storm outside. “No way I’m letting you out now.”

“But—”

“No buts!” Diamond poked me and I took a step back. “We’re getting you a hot bath and a snack and pampering each other until the storm ends.” She giggled. “Oh! Maybe we can turn it into a sleepover if the storm lasts long enough!”

I opened my mouth to object again, and Diamond narrowed her eyes, daring me to try. Biting my lip, I sighed in defeat.

“Fine….”

“Eeheeheeheehee! Yes!” Diamond pumped a hoof. “Come on! I’ll get the bath ready for you!” She raced up the stairs, and I was left to squirm under Randolph’s stare.

“What?” I rustled my wings as the ghost of a smile crossed his face.

“It is not often I see the lady so happy.” The scowl was back. “I will be most displeased if you disappoint her, Dame Nightingale.”

“I…” I flicked an ear. “Princess Luna never made that official.”

He gave a soft chuckle and turned away, leaving me to trot up the stairs after Diamond. There was a labyrinth of halls I could never remember, but the sound of pouring water led me to the baths.

“Diamond?” I poked my head in a door. “Are you in—” I blinked at the small, steaming swimming pool before me. Mountains of bubbles climbed out of the tub, and the smell of various perfumes, oils, and soaps was heady enough to make me sneeze.

“Your face is sooooo priceless.” Diamond tittered, walking up to pat me on the back. “You enjoy yourself now. I’m going to head to the kitchen to help Randolph make snacks. You know how to get to my room from here, right?”

I tore my eyes away from the bath. “I think?”

“Take a right two intersections down and it’s the third door on the left.” She smiled. “There’s a couple sleeping bags in the closet for when friends decide to spend the night.”

She left me to my business, and I finally shook myself dry, flicking a slew of water from my wings and flopping my wet mane about. The tub hissed as cold met hot, and extra bits of steam angrily hissed upwards. Almost forgetting to toss my bags in the corner, I cantered towards the tub and leapt.

“Scree!”

With a splash, my fur sang in delight as sweet, sweet warmth coursed over me. Then, I dunked my head straight in and almost squealed at the heat.

It was perfect.

I pushed through the water with my wings, letting my muscles melt with bliss as I swam a few laps around the rim. Water was getting everywhere, but the floor was sloped to drain it right back into the bath. The bubbles were much less lucky, flinging everywhere and raining down to pop wherever they landed.

After a few minutes, I fell still, just floating on my back in the bath with my wings splayed wide. My eyes were half-closed as I drifted. The heat filled my entire body, and I hummed in appreciation.

Diamond’s house was nicer than the freaking spa.

“Night? You planning on ever coming out?” There was a timid knock on the door, and I jumped so high my head almost hit the ceiling. “I don’t really want to see what a wrinkled bat looks like.”

“Huh?! Wha?!” I shook my head and tried to blink the weights off of my eyes.

How long had I been soaking?

“Night? Are you alright? It’s been almost an hour.”

Son of a sun witch!

“Y-yeah! I’m fine!” I quickly grabbed some towels and rubbed myself down. “I just lost track of time!” Wrapping myself up, I cantered to the door and almost ran straight into Diamond. “Please tell me the storm isn’t done or my parents are gonna kill me.”

“You’re fine. Storm’s still going.” Diamond giggled. “Your Dad showed up about half an hour ago and said it was alright if you spent the night. He was a bit… peeved at first, but when I explained how it was all my fault he seemed to take it all right.”

“Oh, good.” I sighed. “So… what do you want to do? We could watch a movie or play a board game.” I hummed in thought. “There’s also that homework we got. I only made it about halfway through.”

“You’re already halfway through!” Diamond gaped. “But even Twist only made it like a quarter of the way through, and she’s like, a total nerd!”

“Really?” I tilted my head. “I thought it was easy. You just gotta— Hey!”

“You. Me. Study session. Now.” Diamond dragged me bodily to her room and slammed the door shut, locking it with an ominous click.

“Why do I suddenly feel like I need an adult?” I squirmed at Diamond’s predatory grin, quickly guzzling the not-so-hot chocolate that had been left by the half-empty plate of cookies.

“Diamond, is everything alright?” The deep, safe baritone of Filthy Rich called from the other side of the door as he knocked.

“Everything’s fine, Daddy!” There could have easily been a halo around Diamond as she said that, but her eyes sparkled with hunger. “Night and I were just going to do our homework!”

“Uhh… yeah… homework….” No mouth! Don’t say that! Call for help!

“You two have fun, then.” Filthy chuckled, his hoofsteps retreating away from the door.

“Now, then.” Diamond took a step forward, pulling out the cursed hair curlers from her vanity. “I’m going to do your mane while you teach me everything.”

I swallowed and looked at the clock. “E-everything? There might not be enough time for—”

“Everything.”

We got very little sleep that night, but our marks in biology were fantastic.
> Einbruch der Dunkelheit
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every day the sun grew hungrier. Every night the moon grew weaker. The earth razed itself in the fiery heat of summer as the solstice neared once again.

I was sweaty, and stinky, and my wingpits itched like they were crawling with fire ants. My fangs raked across the leathery membranes, but no amount of nibbling let me find relief. It was truly the most miserable time of the year.

Not that my friends would know….

“So, girls, what are your plans for the Summer Sun Celebration? ‘Cause, if y’all ain’t busy, Applejack was thinking of taking everypony to Manehatten to watch Princess Celestia raise the sun.”

As if it could hear its cursed name, the hungry beast poked its head from the clouds to lick us with its flames. Apple Bloom tossed us each an apple, freshly bucked from the tree we were resting under, and I tried to wiggle a little deeper into the shade.

“That sounds great!”

“Count me in!”

“Daddy has a summer home that we could use!”

“It’s a bit small, though, isn’t it?”

“Not anymore, Silver! We added two new wings last fall! How did you forget that?”

“You have a lot of homes, Diamond.”

“Shush, you two. If we’re stayin’ anywhere, it’ll be with my aunt and uncle.” Apple Bloom threw a core at Diamond and Silver. “‘Sides, it still ain’t decided, and somepony ain’t answered yet.” She looked at me, hiding in the darkness as best I could. “What do you say, Night?”

“I… uh… I don’t do the Summer Sun Celebration.” I poked at a fascinating knot in the roots of the tree. Even in the middle of the day, crickets chirped to fill the silence that followed, and I squirmed under my friends undivided attention.

“Say what now?”

Biting my lip, I closed my eyes to the harsh, baleful glare from above. “I don’t celebrate it. I— I can’t. Not after everything the sun witch did.” I bit my lip. “Or rather, what she didn’t do….”

“Uh, Night? You’re not making any sense.” Diamond stepped forward to lay a hoof on my withers.

“Look.” I let out a long breath. “You’re used to thinking about Princess Celestia as some hero—a perfect force of goodness in a bright and sunny world—but me and my dad know better.

“Thestrals…” My ears splayed back as I looked towards the Everfree. “Thestrals never forget.”

“And just what the hay is that supposed to mean?” Apple Bloom crossed her hooves.

“Long, long ago, we saw the signs of Princess Luna’s fall to Nightmare Moon.” I shivered. “We… warned Princess Celestia that she needed to do something, but she didn’t believe us. We pleaded with her. Begged her. Prayed to her. But she did nothing, and we lost the Nightmother because of that.”

Silence hung heavy in the air as my friends waited for me to continue, but I couldn’t find the resolve to. It… wasn’t right. I couldn’t find the words, so I clammed up instead.

“So… uh…” Scoots dared to break the stillness. “...what do you do instead?”

“Einbruch der Dunkelheit.” I sighed, looking down at the ground. “Every year, Dad and I travel deep into Mount Canter to make sure we never forget. Sometimes Mom comes, but usually she has to help with the Summer Sun Celebration. I’d… I’d rather not talk about it if that’s alright with you.”

A group hug tried to fill the quiet, but I wasn’t really up to returning it.

“Girls,” Diamond whispered from her spot at my side, clamped on to me like all the others. “I think I know what we’re gonna do this year.”





I glanced at the cave above us, our cart weighing me down in more ways than one. I was doing a good job—great, even—but the extra additions in the back woke up long dead swarms of butterflies in my tummy. The crusaders were talking, giggling, laughing like it was any other night, and it was making me tense in a way I hadn’t felt since meeting them.

I loved the girls. I really did, but this…

“You alright there, champ?” Dad spared me a glance or two before turning his attention back to the flight. He beat his wings in time with me for once, letting me set the pace, but he was the one really guiding the wagon. “I know it can be… hard… to share this time of the year, but they’re just worried for you. They want to understand.”

“I know….” I gritted my teeth as I whispered, baring my fangs in a mini snarl. “I don’t know why I’m being stupid.”

“It’s a happy holiday for them,” Dad rumbled. “They deserve what fun they can have before we get there.”

“I know….” I flattened my ears. “W-what if they think we’re weird for doing this? It’s not like Ewigenacht and Hearth’s Warming. No pony is supposed to find today fun.”

“Your mother does.” Dad looked into the distance, curving us up and around the mountain. “It’s one of the things I love about her. At the end of the night, when we come home, she always manages to make me smile.” He flicked me with his tail. “She does the same for you too.”

“Mom doesn’t count,” I pouted.

“And neither should your friends.” Dad chuckled. “The fact that they’re trying to understand should be enough. Most day-dwellers just think we’re batty.”

I let the cool Mount Canter air flow over me, pumping my wings a few times before I answered. “You… you think they can manage to keep quiet? I don’t want them to— They shouldn’t—” I bit my lip. “The paean is really important.”

“Well, make sure they know that, then.” Dad smiled. “They were willing to miss the Summer Sun Celebration for you. I’d think asking for a little peace and quiet would be easy.”

“Asking, yes. Getting, no.” I glanced back to see the girls marvelling at the view.

They pointed at this or that in the pale light of the moon, and laughed at the curious bats that darted in and out to play with them. One pup noticed me watching and swooped in to land on my nose, getting a giggle from everypony else and a couple waves my way.

Then, I sneezed, and everypony giggled harder.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to flying the cart. When their laughter died down, there were some quiet murmurings I couldn’t make out, and then there was a lurch and a buzz as me and Dad got some company up front.

“Hey, Night, we almost there?” Scoots leveled off beside me, her little wings pumping at least four times to my one.

“Yeah.” I glanced upwards and pointed. “You see that cave all the bats are coming from?”

Scoots squinted. “Yes? Wait. You mean we’re not going to Canterlot?”

“The Undercity is still a part of Canterlot.”

“The Undercity exists!” Scoots gaped at me.

“Not like the comic books.” I swatted her with my tail. “But, yes, it does.”

“You didn’t tell us you grew up in the Undercity! That’s so— so— so awesome!” Scoots zooped through a loop.

“I didn’t grow up there.” I shook my head. “Mom and Dad had a cloud house near the castle. We only really went down there for holidays and visiting family.”

“So like, Ewigonok?” Scoots completely butchered the word. “You didn’t mention the freaking Undercity when we asked about that. I thought you just had some secret, creepy cathedral built up in the crystal mines or something. A whole city, though? That’s way cooler.”

I couldn’t help it. I giggled.

“I told you we stayed at a cave inn.” As quick as it happened, I schooled my expression again. “How did that not clue you in?”

“Wait, like an actual inn?” Scoots blinked, and I nodded. “Oh….”

“Yes, oh.” I tittered again only to bite my lip at the sound.

“Are you alright, Night?” Scoots frowned and buzzed closer until our wingtips were almost brushing. “You’ve been kind of… angsty since we asked if we could come with you.”

Dad snorted from next to me. “Guess she’s an early bloomer.”

“Huh?” Scoots and I both scrunched our faces.

“Nothing.” Dad chuckled. “You’ll get it when you’re older.”

“Ooookay?” Scoots shook her head and turned back to me. “Seriously, though. It’s okay that we’re coming, right?”

“Yes, it’s okay….” I glanced away, and Scoots flew to our other side to keep looking at me.

“Are you sure? You’ve been nothing but down in the dumps for the last few days.”

“Einburch der Dunkelheit is anything but a happy holiday, Scootaloo.” Dad came to my rescue. “It is a reminder of what was and what could have been. If Princess Celestia had simply believed us when we came to her, Princess Luna might have never fallen to Nightmare Moon.”

“But Princess Luna is back. Shouldn’t you be celebrating now?” Scoots was lagging a little, panting, but she gamely tried to keep up.

“No.” Dad frowned softly, shaking his head. “It is a time to remember pain and loss for us.”

“But—”

“We must never forget.” Dad’s voice was like an avalanche. “It is our duty—our penance. We failed Princess Luna, and she paid the price.”

“It could happen again.” I shivered. “You told me yourself that you used to be afraid of the dark.”

“But Princess Luna is awesome!” Scootaloo squawked.

“Not everypony thinks so,” Dad muttered. “We were both there for her first Nightmare Night in Ponyville, Scootaloo.”

“T-that was you pulling the chariot!” Scootaloo’s wings fumbled for a few flaps.

“No.” Dad chuckled. “I didn’t get to party. I was stuck in the shadows with the rest of the security detachment.” He arched his brow. “In particular, I was ordered to monitor the children when they went running off.”

Scootaloo gulped.

“You ran away from Princess Luna?” My head slumped forward. “Maybe you girls shouldn’t be here….”

“No, no, no, no, no!” Scoots shook her head violently. “It’s not what it sounds like!”

“Nightingale Mooncrest.” Dad frowned at me, and I shriveled up like a juice box.

“Sorry…” I whispered to Scoots, barely managing to look at her. “That was—” A deep breath. “That was out of line. I’m just… worried….”

“So are we!” Scoots was really straggling now, losing altitude every few seconds before she managed a desperate fit of energetic buzzing.

“You don’t act like it,” I murmured, looking back at everypony else as they chatted and laughed.

“Well, yeah.” Scoots snorted. “Because it’d be stupid if we did. You’re feeling down, so we gotta do our best to make you smile!”

“I—” I paused, biting my lip as Scoots dropped a few meters and fluttered back up. “Thank you.” I didn’t fight the smile this time.

“No problem, captain!” Scoots tried to salute mid-flight and failed spectacularly, bowling backwards in a few haphazard flips as a stray breeze hit her. “We always got your back!”

“Glad to hear it,” I giggled. “But I’m still not an officer.”

“I’m—” Scootaloo gulped for air, and Dad glanced back at her with the tiniest of frowns cracking his stoic face. “I’m gonna go back in the cart now if that’s alright.”

“You go do that.” I looked back. “Somepony has got to tell the others I’m feeling better.”

“I’m on it!” Scoots saluted again and fell back. “Mission success, guys!”

“You floundered a bit there, didn’t you, soldier?” Dad rumbled.

“Yeah.” My smile faded a little.

“Nothing to be ashamed of, though.” A long moment passed, with nothing but the wind to stir the silence.

“No, sir. It isn’t.”

“Are you actually feeling better?” Dad glanced over, eyes as sharp as his fangs.

“Yeah, actually.” I grinned. “It’s like that time we came home late to find Mom sleeping on the couch with fresh cricket kabobs in the oven.”

“I remember that.” Dad closed his eyes and simply let the wind carry us for a few moments. “Two back-to-back twelve hour shifts, and she still found time for us.” He sighed. “Stars, that was a busy year for her. I don’t know how she does it sometimes.”

“She has you, Dad.”

Dad blinked at me for a few moments before roaring with laughter. “Out of the mouths of fillies!” He winked. “Are you sure you’re not looking for a colt of your own?”

“Dad!” I squeaked, unable to squirm very well with the harness hitching me to the cart.

“I know…. I know….” He grew somber once more. “I, uh… heard you practicing in the shower this morning. Are you thinking of taking the pilgrimage this year?”

“C-can I?” My wings faltered, but Dad still flawlessly matched me. “I didn’t think— You always say I’m too young for that!”

“You’ve always been too young before.” With a shrug, Dad brought us in for the final approach. “I know I told you thirteen, but…” He let out a long breath. “You’ve grown a lot this year, Nightingale, and it’s only a few months difference.” He looked up to the stars, a twinkle in his eyes. “My little light in the night isn’t so little anymore.”

My ear flicked, barely catching his gravelly whisper. I looked up at him, trying to work out what to say to that, and my eyes went wide as a drop of something leaked from his eyes.

“Are you… crying?”

“Maybe.” He squeaked, voice cracking upwards several octaves. “Could just be liquid pride.”

“You never cry.”

“Everypony cries sometimes, Night.”

“Oh, yeah? When was the last time you cried?”

“Hrmm… hard to say. I don’t do it often.”

“You don’t do it ever!”

“If that’s what you want to think, Night.” Dad smiled wistfully. “But I know for a fact I cried the night you were born.”

I bit my tongue as we hit the cave, too busy trying to bring us to a steady stop to respond. There was only one— No. There were two guards tonight, but neither were thestrals.

“Woah! —oh! —oh! —oh! —oh!” The girls exclamations echoed off the walls as they scampered out of the cart to gape into the depths of Mount Canter. Candles and torches dotted the walls at regular intervals, giving them tiny glimpses of further in and lighting other crevices that snuck deeper into the mountain.

“Why are the flames so pretty?” Sweetie held out a hoof to one, and the silver flame softly licked her hoof. “Ooooh! Wow! It’s not even hot!”

“It’s moonfire.” Dad chuckled as we unhitched ourselves from the cart. “Don’t ask me how it works. I’m not an alchemist.”

Once freed from his harness, he looked into the charcoal darkness, his smile quickly fading. With a stomp that echoed through the caves, he drew all the girls’ attention and gestured in front of him.

“Attention!”

All the lessons ingrained by me and Sergeant Smiles had everypony else lined up in ten seconds flat. I was the only one to fall in at my own pace. Dad and I had already talked already back home, so I knew what he was going to say.

Hay, I helped him with some of it….

“Alright, girls. There’s going to be a few rules going in.” Dad leaned down and squinted at us all. “First and foremost, you need to be quiet unless spoken to. You can whisper and chat among yourselves, but for the love of Luna, do not speak louder than Dame Fluttershy normally does. Once we begin the descent, any echoing is going to be perceived as incredibly rude.”

“Oops….” Scoots rubbed the back of her head as she glanced down into the depths, her echo still audibly bouncing back to us.

“Second.” Dad tapped his hoof on the floor but it was no less authoritative than his stomp. “When we reach the Seven Thousand Steps of the Sevenfold Sins—”

“The what?!” Scoots barely managed not to shout as stars filled her eyes, and I had to kick her in the shin for breaking rule number one.

“The Seven Thousand Steps of the Sevenfold Sins.” A ghost of a smile crossed Dad’s face, gone as quickly as it appeared. “When we reach them, you must stick close to the wall with me. Sometimes, the stairs get slippery. No looking down. No falling. And no flying.” He frowned severely at us all. “It is very important you walk them all on your own, but if you find yourself needing a break, Night and I are willing to carry you.”

“What?” I blinked when everypony looked at me with raised eyebrows. “I can carry one of you if I need to.”

“Even after pulling the cart?” Diamond’s ears splayed back.

“And going down sixty bajillion steps?” Apple Bloom frowned.

“I think you mean having to go back up sixty bajillion steps.” Silver droned.

“I am capable of carrying Night if you tire her out.” Dad nodded to Diamond. “Trust me, I’ve done it before.”

“Dad!” I hissed, a blazing fire burning up the back of my neck. “I haven’t need you to carry me since I was six!”

“Then make sure you don’t tire yourself out to prove a point to your friends.” Dad put a hoof on my withers. “If you do, you may miss your chance to make the pilgrimage this year.”

“But—” My squeak echoed and Scootaloo promptly returned my kick to her shin.

“No ‘buts’ on this, Night.” Dad loomed over me, even as he patted my back. “Your mother would kill me if I let you fly tired over the Everfree.”

“Fine….” I sulked, rubbing my shin and glaring at Scoots as she smirked at me.

“Good. Now, where was I?” Dad rubbed his chin.

“Third!” Sweetie chirped.

“Ah, yes, third and most importantly.” Dad looked each of the girls in the eyes. “Do not use the phrase bat pony while you’re here. I don’t have an issue with it, and Night doesn’t have an issue with it, but there are ponies here that will be gravely offended if you slip up. I mean it, girls. Don’t even try to mess with me on this. If the wrong pony hears you, you’ll get us in a lot of trouble, especially tonight of all nights. Chances are, I’ll need to fight somepony if you break this rule, and we’ll all be sleeping in the worst part of the dungeons until your sisters get here to bail us out—if I lose, that is.”

“Just our sisters?” Apple Bloom tilted her head to the side. “What about Mrs. Morning? Ain’t she a guard?”

“Mom is kind of…” I bit my lip, trying to think of how to say it. “…not very welcome with the kind of thestrals who’d toss us in jail here. Last time she came with me and Dad during Einbruch der Dunkelheit, we were in the dungeons for three whole nights until Auntie Mercy got a chance to talk with Princess Celestia and get us pardoned.”

“I still have the scars she gave me for losing to that loon.” Dad winced. “She was not happy about that night.”

“You should of let Mom cut loose on him.” I growled a little at the memory. “He was a real—” I glanced at Dad, choosing my next words carefully. “—jerk.”

“Yes. Yes, he was.” Dad rubbed his shoulder. “I still can’t believe he went for my artery. No honor at all.” He shook his head. “Regardless, do you girls agree to follow these rules and do everything Night and I might tell you to do?”

“Yes, Mister Mettle!” The girls chorus-whispered, and I nodded in satisfaction when it didn’t cause an echo.

“This is gonna be so cool...” Scoots had stars in her eyes again.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to get down there.” Apple Bloom was hopping from hoof to hoof.

“Me too,” Sweetie murmured. “I-I hope my horn doesn’t go out, though.”

“Oh! Right! I almost forgot.” Dad went back to the cart and pulled out a bag. “Before we go down. You girls need to drink these. Your sisters were very clear I was to take no chances, so I asked Her Highness, Princess Twilight, to make me these.”

“Woah! Everything’s all grey!”

“And silvery!”

“I-is this what Night sees?”

“Are we ready, girls?” Dad rustled his wings and glanced between us.

“We were born ready!” Diamond huffed.

Dad arched his brow at everypony’s fervent nods. “Just remember to follow the rules and do whatever me and Night tell you to.”

“Yeah, Diamond. You have to do whatever Night tells you to.” Silver pointedly looked at her friend.

Diamond and I exchanged glances before she frowned. “Yeah, that’s what I just said.” There was the sound of soft facehooves from multiple sources.

Dad snerked, desperately clutching his side as he tried not to roar in laughter and break his own rules. I was totally kicking him in the shin if he did. I didn’t know what was so funny, but Mom would totally approve.

“Al— Alright, girls. Enough is enough.” He gave Silver a look. “Let’s just head to the Seven Thousand Steps of the Sevenfold Sins.”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo pumped her hoof, receiving another kick in the shin when her voice echoed back in excitement.





“Woah, that’s a lot of steps.”

Scootaloo had already broken rule number two in every way that she could’ve. She’d ran ahead despite Dad warning her not to, tripped straight into the abyss she didn’t see, and—thankfully—flown back up to wait for us. She was still hovering there, looking down as we arrived, exactly like Dad had said not to.

“Scoots!” I almost shrieked, and winced at the echo that came back.

Several hisses followed it, and Dad quickly dragged Scoots back, placing her between him and the wall. He loomed over her saying nothing as she squirmed, waiting until she was visibly sweating buckets for at least half a minute before bending down to look her right in the eyes.

“What was rule number two?” he growled, his fangs gleaming in the light of the moonfire torches dotting the room.

“Not to look down?” Scootaloo shrunk in on herself.

“And?” Dad arched his brow.

“Not to fall?” Her ears splayed back.

“And?” Dad hissed in a deadly whisper.

“Not to fly?” She flinched.

“Correct.” Dad leaned forward, his slitted eyes the only thing Scoots could see. “You broke all three. This is why I told you not to run ahead. Understand?”

A small nod.

“Good.” He snorted, pulling back and pointedly looking at each of the other girls individually before focusing on Scootaloo again. “Do not disobey me again or I will drag all of you out of here—kicking and screaming, if I have to.”

“B-but—” I started shaking.

“All of you will come with me, and I will fly you back to Ponyville alone.” Dad loomed over everypony now, his wings flaring to cast us in shadow. “I can only cut you so much leeway for being day-dwellers, and I will not let you ruin Night’s first pilgrimage.”

“D-Dad…” I sniffled, suddenly starting to cry for a whole new reason. I sucked in the urge to scree as I tackled him, hugging him as tightly as I could while I nuzzled up into the crook of his neck. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!”

“Shhh… quiet, Night.” Dad ran his hoof through my mane. “You’ll break rule number one if you’re not careful.”

I shoved my face in his coat and screed my muffled thanks where it couldn’t echo.

He trusted me to do this on my own.

Alone.

Like an adult.

Even though I was twelve.

Mom was going to kill him if it came to that, but I’d go to the ends of the earth to bring him back. I was just so— so— I don’t know! I was way more than proud. I was warm, and fluffy, and my head was so light I could swear the room was spinning.

Maybe I should stop shrieking into his coat to get some air?

I came up, gasping for breath, and started when a tiny hoof poked me in the back. I turned to find my friends all standing there, ears splayed back as they refused to look me in the eyes. Instantly, the warm bubbly feeling in me froze into icy dread. It was like a million pieces of hail were pounding at my heart, and I sniffled again.

I didn’t want everypony to go….

“We’re sorry, Night.” They all murmured so quietly that I almost couldn’t hear.

“It’s— It’s all right.” I wiped my nose with my foreleg, thanking the stars I hadn’t gotten too snotty in my little episode. “Just… please listen to us when we tell you to do something. I want you to experience this with me, but you have to understand.”

“We will….” They all kicked the floor, finally finding the courage to look me in the eye and smile weakly.

“You.” Dad gently pulled away from me and stood back up, pointing to Scootaloo with a frown. “Back between me and the wall. Consider it your punishment for breaking the rules.”

With a silent squawk, Scoots was in position, cantering beside my Dad like lightning. She looked back at the girls and gestured frantically between them and the wall. They looked to me and I nodded at empty air, the wall instantly filled with ponies insistent on being as far away from the edge as possible. I couldn’t help but smile as Sweetie sucked in her gut to make more room, and I giggled softly to myself when everypony else did likewise.

We started down the stairs—the Seven Thousand Steps of the Sevenfold Sins—while Dad and I hummed some of my favorite hymns. With a whisper, Dad would break song to point to the carvings along the edge of our long and downwards spiral, telling my friends the tales of Luna’s greatest triumphs. Soon, they were starry eyed and completely enraptured. The tension faded from their backs, and they stopped clinging to the walls as if they’d fall at the slightest step.

We learned of best princess together, and I started to feel all warm and fuzzy again.

Dad trusted me to be here on my own. My friends had finally quieted down. Tonight could literally not be any better.

I frowned.

Tonight couldn’t be any better? No! What was I thinking?! Bad Night! I wasn’t supposed to be happy tonight!

But…

But maybe it was okay to be happy?

Wouldn’t the Nightmother want me to be happy?

I blinked and looked at the carvings as if seeing them for the first time. I stopped and held a hoof out to them, feeling them dig into my frog.

“That was all she ever wanted… to be happy and loved….” I closed my eyes and breathed as my stomach butterflies flitted through aerial maneuvers I didn’t know were possible.

“Night? Are you okay?”

I started to see the others waiting for me, Diamond hesitantly peeling from her spot on the wall to move closer.

“Never better.” I smiled so wide that even Dad stumbled a bit. “I just… got something… from being here with all of you….”

“And this is why I wish your mother could have made it to more of these,” Dad rumbled with a sigh. “Leave it to day-dwellers to turn the worst day of the year into a happy occasion.” He looked at me, eyes smiling even if it never touched his face. “Just be careful with that, Night. Not everypony is going to be happy to see you smile.”

“Yes, sir.” I schooled my expression but kept rustling my wings. The urge to smile was strong, and I had to fight myself to keep stoic.

Every so often, we’d pass below a few thestrals hanging from the ceiling, resting on their journey downwards. Dad would hush the others when we neared them, only picking his stories up once we passed. Sometimes I felt their eyes following after us long, long after we left.

Finally, though, we hit the halfway point, and the urge to smile died.

“And now…” Dad whispered, putting his hoof on the newest set of carvings. “…it’s time to tell the tale of why we’re here tonight. We made sure to remember the Nightmother’s glory, and now—” He bit his lip. “Now we remember her fall.”

The carvings were harsh, sharp, and black—black as the Nightmare herself. When Dad pulled his hoof away, I could smell the drop of blood he left behind, and I dutifully walked up to leave my own tribute, small as it might have been. Looking at my friends, I let a tear slide down my cheek, fully expecting the group hug to come.

“L-let me tell you the story, of the rise of Nightmare Moon.”





We reached the bottom and I slumped to the floor, almost ready to call it quits after sharing the tale. The rest of the girls slumped with me, clinging to me with tears in their eyes. The newspapers. The sun witch. The school. All of them liked to gloss over the truth.

The girls had just gone on a very wild ride, but now we could sniffle together.

“I’m never gonna let you go, guys….”

Even Scootaloo wasn’t immune.

“Girls.” Dad laid a hoof on my back. “We’re almost there.”

“The worst is yet to come.” I shivered.

“Oh, Celestia…” Diamond moaned, rubbing her nose with her foreleg and discreetly depositing the snot on a blubbering Apple Bloom. “What could be worse than that?”

“The funeral….” I breathed, looking down the hall into the inky abyss. Pulling myself to my feet, I nudged the girls up and braced myself for what lay ahead. “We’re almost late. It’ll be sunrise soon.”

“F-funeral?”

“L-late?”

“W-what?”

Dad pushed us forward as the torches going up the stairs flickered out one by one. The thestrals we passed hissed from above, dropping like silent rocks to hit the floor and slink quickly into the darkness. They gave my friends the stink eye as they passed us, so I glowered right back at them. Soon we reached the archway to the deepest part of the mountain, and Dad and I stopped for one last word.

“From here on out, do not speak.” Dad had to bend down and speak directly into each of the girls ears. “From sunrise to sunset, we are to sit in quiet contemplation.”

“All day?!” Scoots squeaked, and I kicked her in the shin again.

“Shh!”

“All day.” Dad frowned. “Are we going to have a problem with that?”

Scootaloo bit her lip for a moment before looking at me and wilting. “No, sir….”

“Good.” Dad nodded. “We have a long day ahead of us, and an even longer night. If any of you need to use the restroom, tap Night or myself and do the potty dance so we can carry you to the nearest chamber pots.”

I pushed Diamond inside before she could complain about the lack of plumbing, and we felt our way along the stone until Dad tapped me on the shoulder to stop. The darkness was complete and total here, completely safe from the baleful gaze of the sun.

Except upon the solstice.

Through a carefully constructed series of mirrors built into crevices, a single ray of light began to hungrily tear through our precious darkness as Celestia raised the sun. Straight from the heavens, it sank its fangs into the casket that dominated the center of the room. Carved from black diamond and obsidian, it refused to yield easily, spiting the light back out as it reflected and refracted and breathed the tiniest bit of life into the room.

As one, every thestral stared, the light searing yet never blinding as it lit the rest of the room. The others leaned into me as the rest of the room became visible, thousands of thestrals among thousands of tombstones, sharing silent vigil over their lost Nightmother.

Somepony—I didn’t see who—clutched me tight after an hour or two, muffling a squeak as they finally looked up to see the tombstones high above. They hung there like stalactites, and even more thestrals dangled from them, watching Luna’s tombstone with their families.

Despite the burning light, we stared. Refusing to look away. Refusing to forget. We barely moved except to answer nature’s call, and we barely breathed because it would disturb the dust of the dead. For hours we sat, until all my friends were asleep, and I struggled to remain awake.

At last, I couldn’t open my eyes anymore, and settled for contemplating Nightfall in my dreams.





Dad nudged me awake as the sun was setting, and a single thestral descended from above to place his hoof on the tombstone. His armor was old—no, ancient—and came from some long dead general.

General… Dusk Fang? I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Yeah, that was it…. General Dusk Fang.

“T’was better to fall beside you, old friend, than to see you waste away on the moon.”

Whoever they picked this year was big—almost too big for the armor, which was already massive—but his voice was perfect for the job. As darkness returned and the candles were lit, his deep, bellowing voice buried us in the tomb. The haunting warble of his dirge echoed through the cavern, beckoning all to join.

And Dad and I did.

I could barely hit the high notes, but I’d been practicing for weeks. This year, I’d keep it up until the end without embarrassing myself or Dad. He had no problems hitting the low notes, so why should I ruin his performance with my highs?

“What are they doing?” Diamond whispered, shivering away from me and into Silver. “Silver, make her stop. She’s scaring me more than the time she dove down after Sweetie Belle.”

“Shh…” Silver hugged Diamond. “I’m trying to hear them.”

“It’s silent, Silver.”

“I know.”

“It’s dead silent.”

“I know.”

“I can literally feel the silence pounding in my ears, Silver. Make her stop. Make her stopnow. Cover her ears. I don’t want her to hear it.”

“She wants to sing, Diamond. Let her sing.”

Diamond whimpered, glancing about as we sang our praise to the Nightmother. I hit a particularly high note, and she shivered again, squeezing Silver tight. Then, she grimaced and let go, inching back over to me, and lying by my side.

I pulled her into a hug—pulled all my friends into a hug—singing the night away until I had no more praise to give.





I waved to Dad as he left towards Ponyville, cart filled with the girls. I had one last thing to do tonight, though—something I’d wanted to do for a long time.

Leaping from the cave, I angled myself towards Ponyville.

And I glided.

And glided.

And glided.

I drifted past Ponyville, and let myself get carried out into the depths of the Everfree. The stars guided me to the ruins of the castle, and I circled high above it, watching, waiting, contemplating.

I could barely see several scars left in the land from where the Nightmare made her stand. Maybe… Maybe I could see them up close one day. When I had the training to handle the forest on my own.

It was tempting to go down. It really was. But Dad had trusted me to do this on my own, and I wasn’t going to ruin it by doing something stupid.

For now, I’d observed from far above the Everfree—watching the gravest marker of Princess Luna’s past.
> The Birthday Bat
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I swept through the smokey air of the battlefield as I looked for survivors. The battle had been hot, intense, and even painful in the light of the hungry sun, but at the end of the day both sides let the other respectfully claim their wounded.

We’d been going at it for… weeks? Months? Years? I didn’t know. It was all so hazy. After a while, all I could ever focus on was the fighting and the smell of death and decay.

It was… it was…

Son of a sun witch! Who was trumpeting the reveille at this time of day?!

I blearily opened my eyes to find my head buried in cloud. The smell of smoke, sewage, and rotting flesh persisted into the waking world, burying itself into my bedding. My nose crinkled at the pungent scent even as my mouth watered, and I slammed a hoof into my alarm to silence it.

Lying beneath my blankets for a moment, I curled into a ball and contemplated going back into battle. Images of honor and glory flitted past my eyelids as I tried to let my cloud bed carry me away, but still, the smell of breakfast called to me.

Rolling off the bed and onto my hooves, I trotted over to the wall and crossed out today’s date on the calendar. Mom had circled it three times for me, and dotted it with moons and stars. A warm fuzzy feeling filled me at the sight, and I dashed to the bathroom to get ready as quickly as I could.

“Screeheeheeheeheeheehee!”

“Woah there, Nightingale!” Dad had to jump to the side as I threw open the door and bowled past him. “I know you’re excited for your birthday, but you don’t have to stampede through the house.”

“Hi, Dad! Bye, Dad!” I pounced on him. “Thanks for helping Mom with breakfast!”

“I don’t have to go quite yet,” he hummed, squeezing me back far tighter than I squeezed him. “Do I look like I’m in armor? At the very least, I can have breakfast with you and your mom.”

“You just want the pancakes,” I giggled.

“Maybe,” Dad chuckled, kissing me on the forehead. “Now, go wash up. You still smell like tree sap from yesterday.”

“Sir, yes, Sir!” I squeezed him one more time before he left the bathroom.

Whirlwinding through my daily routine, I burst back through the door in record time and shot down the hall for the kitchen. The stink was even worse here—little bits of air wavering with the powerful odor—and the room was an absolute mess. Mom and Dad must have had a food fight or something, because there was whipped cream and rose petals everywhere.

There was no sign of my pancakes, however.

“In—” Mom poked her head in and immediately began to choke on the air. “In here, Night.” Quickly pulling back through the door, she used several words-that-must-never-be-said, and then almost said one or two more after I accidentally bucked the door down to reach my special birthday breakfast.

A massive, spotted flower rested on top of four fluffy pancakes that were chock full of crunchy bugbits. The petals curled downwards, drizzled in a creamy-white fruit sauce, while a few thorns decorated the sides of the plate.

“Durian-rafflesia pancakes! Screehee!” I was in my seat in a flash, tail wagging as I looked back at Mom with a pout.

“W-wait for your father, Night.” Mom was holding her breath as she glanced between the stack of pancakes made for me and Dad. Her own were smothered in rose petals and whipped cream, lacking the stench of triumph and glory.

“Morning, Morning.” Dad sauntered in, breathing deeply once or twice before kissing Mom on the cheek. “Morning, Night.” He ruffled my mane. “Ah, that sure smells good. I bet it tastes even better.”

“So do I!” I vibrated in my seat, eyes and mouth both watering from the aroma.

“Morning, dear.” Mom moved behind Dad to hug him as he took his seat next to me. She flinched as she pulled away and put a hoof on her somewhat pudgy stomach. “Ooof…. The twins say, ‘Hi,’ too.”

“I know! I felt it!” Dad laughed, nuzzling Mom. “They’ve got quite the set of legs on them!”

“Oh! Oh! Oh! They kicked?!” I pranced in my seat, torn between my pancakes and Mom.

“Yes, Night. Yes, they did.” Mom came over, and I put a hoof on her gurgling stomach. A few seconds later, I giggled as my brothers hoofbumped me.

“They say, ‘Happy Birthday.’” Mom grinned, hugging me before she took her seat.

With everypony seated, I didn’t even wait, shoving my head face first into the pancakes before they could burn my nose off. So sweet. So meaty. So fluffy and soft and crunchy. It was truly indescribable. The taste of it was so strong that every word I could use paled in comparison.

“I also got your birthday dinner.” Mom smiled weakly as she continued to eye our plates. Her cheeks flushed dark as she took small bites of her own, and her stomach moaned like a sick dog.

“You did?!” My ears perked.

“Mhmm.” Mom nodded. “You got lucky this year. It’s fresh. One of the sows at Sweet Apple Acres just—” She gagged as Dad kissed her. “Oh, Celestia. Tempered! Don’t do that right now! Your breath is just— just— Hrrrk! Tempered!”

Dad roared with laughter as Mom buried herself in the floor to get away. After a minute or two of playing ostrich, she popped back up and glared at him.

“The smell won’t leave my nostrils now.” Her feathers bristled. “You know how careful I was not to contaminate myself?!”

“Embrace the stink, Morning.” Dad waggled his brow, sliding his plate towards Mom. “You know what happens every year.”

Mom’s stomach gurgled like smooze.

“Come on, Mom!” I squeaked. “You know you like it!”

Mom bit her lip, glancing between Dad and the plate. “I really shouldn’t. You know how long it takes to get rid of the smell.”

“I already told you I’ll aerate the house.” Dad thumped a hoof against his chest. “You just focus on getting yourself and Night ready.”

“Well…” Mom inched closer to Dad’s plate.

“Do it! Do it! Do it!” Dad and I pounded our hooves into the table as we chanted, making soft flumping sounds as pieces of it dissipated.

Picking up a fork, Mom stabbed a tiny bit of pancake and quickly shoved them in her mouth before her nose could protest. Her face scrunched as she chewed, tears streaming from her eyes, and when she finished, she jabbed the fork back in for even larger and larger pieces.

“Holy freaking—” Mom muffled her bad words with more pancakes in her mouth. “It’s like eating hot, heavenly garbage!” She exhaled, and immediately started gagging from the scent. “Sweet Celestia, I always forget how good these taste.”

“Dealing with the smell, it’s like our penance for eating something so tasty.” I nodded sagely.

“You’re both crazy. They smell great.” Dad booped me on the snoot. “Guess you just got your mom’s cute button nose.”

I giggled and nipped at his hoof as it darted in for another strike. In and out. In and out. Our game continued until Mom burped and all but blacked out from the smell.

“Ha! Good one, Morning!”

“You’re such an idiot sometimes, Tempered.” Mom rolled her eyes and pulled Dad in for a kiss.

“Eww!” I squirmed. “No mushy stuff on my birthday!”

Dad’s wings rustled wildly as Mom pulled away. “Mmmm… pancakes….” He bemusedly blinked a few times. “Ah, yeah, you should… go…. Go and have your fun with Night. I’m going to start aerating the house so I can take a long, cold shower.”

“Make sure you get rid of the smell.” Mom frowned, nudging me towards the bathroom.

“I always do,” Dad chuckled.

“The last thing we need is another petition to move the house.”

“I know, dear! I know!”

“And make sure to apologize to the princess again!”

“She already said I could be late!”

“Just do it, lunkhead!” Mom’s scowl turned back into a smile. “Also, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Me three!” I hopped up and down before cantering for the bathroom. “Come on, Mom! We’re wasting daylight!”

“Isn’t that a good thing?!” Dad hollered after me, roaring with laughter.

“Not today it isn’t!” I bowled into the bathroom and began furiously brushing my teeth again. My fangs soon sparkled, but the smell wouldn’t die, and Mom and I brushed again and again as we tried to exorcise the stink from ourselves.

“There. That should do it.” Mom sounded unconvinced, holding up a hoof and coughing into it. She sniffed, sniffed again, and then sniffed one more time for good measure. Only then was she satisfied enough, and we headed for the door, bumping into dad on his way towards the bathroom.

“Back! Back I say!” Mom waved Dad away with a wing as he came in for a kiss. “We just got clean! Go freshen up and I’ll kiss you all you want later tonight.”

“As you wish, milady.” Dad bowed, waggling his brows at Mom. “I’ll see you this evening for the—” He bit his lip. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Bye Dad!” I ran for the door.

“Bye, dear.” Mom blew Dad a kiss.

We leaped from the front door, soaring high in the sky, and I fell in Mom’s skein to let her lead. She banked to the left, and I followed, grinning as Princess Twilight’s castle loomed larger and larger before us. As we landed before the door, the two guards stationed there lazily saluted Mom.

“Morning, Morning.” The left one sniggered, breaking the cardinal rule of not talking on duty. “You here to petition for casual fridays?”

“I’m off duty, you dolt.” Mom huffed, nudging me forward as I squirmed behind her. “Night and I always spend her birthday together.” She ruffled my mane. “Say hello, Night.”

“Hi….” I shuffled forward a few steps, avoiding their eyes.

“Go on.” Mom nudged me again, and nodded a little more firmly. “You know you want to.”

“H-hi!” I squeaked, saluting as best I could. They were Dawn Guard, though, so—

“Aww… she’s just so adorable!” The right one hopped from hoof to hoof, her eyes sparkling with stars.

“Woah there, soldier.” Mom held out a wing to stop her from charging me. “Remember, you’ve got a post to keep.”

“As dull as always, Morning.” The left one gave another lazy salute. “Even on your day off, you’re wound tighter than a—”

“I’d watch your language around my daughter, lieutenant,” Mom growled, eyeing his rank as if itching to tear it off. “My husband and I may cut you and the other Dawn Guard a lot of slack at the Princess’ request, but we are still your commanding officers.”

“Pfft! Like you’d actually carry through with that threat!” He waved a hoof. “You and Tempered are way too old school to break the rules. What could you possibly punish me for if I say the word ‘bi—’” He squawked as Mom’s hoof was suddenly at his throat.

“First lesson of the day, Night!” Mom looked at me. “What was his mistake?”

“Insubordination!” I stomped a hoof, glowering at him as best I could.

“So adorable!” The guard to the right squealed. “She’s like a mini you!”

Mom grinned at me. “Night, you know I’m not on duty.”

“But he was just so— so—” I vibrated in place for a few moments before sighing. “Fine…. He let his guard down too much?”

“It was three on one,” her victim groused, and she leaned into him a little more until he let out a strangled yelp.

“Was that a joke about my weight, lieutenant? Don’t make me order the twins to kick you while you’re down.” Mom glanced back at me when the jerk whimpered. “No, Night…. Well, yes, but that’s not the lesson I want you to learn from this.” Mom shook her head. “His biggest mistake was abusing the leeway that being in the Dawn Guard affords him. Just because we can get away with more, doesn’t mean we should.”

She wobbled back from the guard with a groan, rubbing her stomach as she looked towards home. “Case in point, I should have just let your father handle this when he got in.” She looked to the right guard. “Make sure my husband properly disciplines the lieutenant here. I’ll be in the training room with Night if anypony needs me, alright?”

“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am!” The unicorn saluted.

“Come on, Night.” Mom nudged me forward into the castle, and we walked in silence down the halls. Every so often a guard would pass by and greet us with a smile. It made me squirm and flatten my ears against my skull.

“Mom?”

“Yes, Night?”

“Why are the Dawn Guard so crazy?”

“I don’t know, sweetie.” Mom chuckled. “I ask myself that just about everyday.”





A quick kick to the dummy sent it spinning to the left. The right limb swung towards me in response to the left limb giving way before my hoof, so I leaned against the spin, ducking under the oncoming attack and pivoting to buck the lower limb that followed.

The sound of splinters filled the air as the dummy violently reversed direction again, and I leaped backwards with a flap of my wings, raising a forehoof to block the returning right limb. Merely deflecting it to the side this time, I instead used my momentum to reposition myself, kicking off of the chest piece of the dummy and leaping back to take stock of everything.

Eventually, my foe grinded to a stop with a splintery groan, and I squinted at it.

Licking my lips, I waited.

Three…. Two…. One….

Another groan filled the air as the dummy collapsed in a pile of wood and hay. A small glowing stone crackled and fizzled in the center of the debris, sparking every few seconds as it tried to restore it to its original form.

“Excellent work, my little star.” Mom was watching from off to the side. “You used just enough force to subdue, but not enough to truly harm anypony. Again!”

“Mom!” I whined. “I know how to do this already! Aren’t we gonna do anything exciting today?”

“Well, I was going to teach you some more advanced techniques this year, but—” Mom bit her lip and looked down at herself. “—I’m not exactly able to teach you like this.”

“Well, there’s got to be something!” I went up to her and hugged her, nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

“We could go to the spa a little early…” Mom hummed.

“Nuh-uh! Something super cool that only big fillies do! I’m the big one-three this year!”

“We could talk about colts?”

“Eww! I’m not that big!”

“I’m sorry, Night…. I just can’t—”

“Well, well, well! If it ain’t two of my favorite playthings! Dark Horse and Glory Hog! What are you doing here?!”

“Training, Ma’am! Nothing more, Ma’am!” Both Mom and I scrambled to our hooves to salute Sergeant Smiles.

“Training on your day off?!” The sergeant’s holler echoed down the halls.

“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am!”

“Think you’re too good for relaxation?!”

“Ma’am, no, Ma’am!”

“Then what in the name of Celestia’s sun-roasted rump are you training for?!”

“Mother-daughter bonding, Ma’am!”

“You’re here for what?! I can’t hear you?!”

“Mother-daughter bonding, Ma’am!” Our voices literally shook the walls.

“That’s what I like to hear, soldiers.” Sergeant Smiles face broke into a wrinkly grin. “A little bat told me you might need help, though.”

“Oh, did he?” Mom’s eyes grew sharp. “I’ll have to remember to thank Tempered for that later.”

“Don’t get your knickers in a knot, cadet.” Sergeant Smiles snorted, stalking around Mom and me like we were nothing but delicious fleas. “He’s right. You’ve let yourself go.”

“Excuse me!” Mom’s wings flared. “He said wha— Oooof!”

“Flab. Flab. More flab.” Sergeant Smiles poked Mom in a few of her more pudgy spots. “You better be ready to work extra hard to get back in shape after you pop out the pups.”

“Yes, Ma’am. I’ll get right on that, Ma’am. I’m planning on husband hunting, Ma’am.” Mom gritted her teeth.

“Ha!” Sergeant Smiles slapped Mom on the back. “I’m just messing with you, Glory! You’re looking good for a set of twins. You got any names in mind yet?”

“Right now, I’m thinking of naming them after their father.” Mom scowled. “Major Inconvenience and General Pain.” Her eyes narrowed to slits as she gazed towards the door. “Call me fat, will he? I’ll show him fat.”

“Going to make Squeaks cry, are you?” Sergeant Smiles grinned the grin of pure concentrated evil all drill sergeants were known for. “I could help with that.”

“Oh, he’s gonna do so much more than cry,” Mom purred.

“Uhh… Mom?” I squirmed, and she blinked.

“Right, right, training.” Mom shook her head. “Would you mind helping out, Sunny? I’m not exactly… fit to be sparring with Night right now.”

“It’s what I’m here for!” There was a loud thud as the sergeant’s bags hit the floor.

“Are those the weights?!” I did a flip. “I haven’t tried sparring with weights yet!”

“Completely different from running, Dark Horse, but no, these aren’t just weights.” She grinned, opening the bag to pull out a set of four dark metal greaves with claw-like spikes protruding from their ends. “They’re so much more than that.”

“I told Mettle no to those….” Mom massaged her forehead with her frog.

“Squeaks said you’d say that,” Sergeant Smiles chuckled. “They’re not from him, though.”

“You didn’t.” Mom peeked an eye open.

“Ha! No! I wish I had the kinds of bits that made these!” Sergeant Smiles pulled an envelope from the bags and tossed it to me.

“Auntie Mercy?” I glanced at the name on the back before ripping it open to find the usually overelaborate birthday card. It had pop-out pieces, and sang, and cast little illusory fireworks every time I opened it. It even had three smooch marks in it for me, Mom, and Dad.

“I want to get mad here, but Mercy could have sent something worse.” Mom wobbled over to inspect the greaves and whistled as she scrutinized them. “I have to wonder how much of this is her bits versus her urge to spoil you, though. I think this might be the most expensive gift yet.”

“I miss L’il Vlad…” I sighed.

“There was no way you were keeping a giant, bloodhound-sized bat.”

“…and Mister Wrigglesworth…”

“The venom-spitting snake was an even worse idea.”

“…and Sir Goosifer Quackasalot….”

“It wasn’t a goose, Night. It had teeth. Thank Celestia, she learned her lesson after that.”

Mom clicked her tongue as she picked up one of the greaves to look at it. “Still, I don’t know why she bought you these when you’ll just outgrow— Oh, you sneaky son of a—“ She glanced at me before turning to Sergeant Smiles. “Are those what I think they are?”

“Aye. They’re magic runes that’ll resize the things to fit her. Like I said, I wish I had the bits that made these.”

“I’m going to have to have another talk with her…” Mom sighed.

“Can I still keep the greaves, though?” I turned the puppy dog eyes on full blast.

“Yes, Night, you can still have the greaves.” Mom trundled back to her seat and tossed me the greave she’d been holding. “Let’s see what you’ve got, soldier.”

“Yay!” I jumped up and down.

“You just better hope Celestia will have mercy on your soul, Dark Horse.” Sergeant Smiles grinned. “‘Cause I sure won’t.”

I tumbled to the ground and gulped, suddenly glad to be donning armor for an entirely different reason.





Casting a mournful glance back at the castle as we left it, I raised a hoof for the greaves I’d had to leave behind. Mom had locked them up safe and sound in her office, but safe and sound meant nothing when I’d rather be showing them off.

“We can go back and practice with them later.” Mom ruffled my mane. “You don’t want to be late for our spa appointment, do you?”

“No….” I sulked.

“My little star~” Mom bent her head down and crooned in my ear. “Turn that frown upside down. You should be proud; I think I actually saw a bead of sweat on Smiles.”

“I am proud!” I couldn’t help but giggle as she chuffed some air across my ear, puffing out my chest. “I lasted two whole minutes that last match!”

“That’s longer than your father’s first time. He went down in less than ten seconds.”

“Only because I got cocky trying to impress a certain somepony.” There was a rumbling laugh as Dad swooped in to catch me and Mom in a hug. “You both enjoying your day so far?”

“There were a few… complications….” Mom rubbed her stomach. “But we got some decent training done in the end.”

“You’re welcome.” Dad bared his fangs in a wolfish grin. “I figured the sergeant would— Ow! What was that for?!”

“For calling me fat, lunkhead.”

“But I never called you fat!”

“Oh, didn’t you?”

“No!”

Mom narrowed her eyes.

“I didn’t! I swear!” Dad’s wings flared as she took a step forward.

“Hrmm… do you swear on—” Mom bit her lip and glanced at me before standing on the tips of her frogs to whisper something in Dad’s ear.

“Umm….” Dad blushed darker than the new moon. “Yes.”

“Say it to me, Tempered.” Mom was half-grinning, half-frowning. “Say it to me and I’ll make it up to you later.”

Dad squeaked as Mom pecked him on the cheek. “You play dirty, you know that?”

“You know exactly how dirty I like to play, dear.” Mom smiled and patted Dad on the back.

“Screep!” Dad’s wings twitched violently. “Fine! Fine! I swear on Luna’s— Ooof!” Dad winced as Mom’s hoof met his shin. “Right. Night. I swear on—” He whispered the rest to Mom and nipped her ear. “There. That’s for not believing me.”

“And I thought thestrals didn’t eat ponies.” Mom giggled, flicking her ear. “In all seriousness, though—” She put a hoof on Dad’s chest. “—I have to get to the spa with Night, and you have a lieutenant to discipline.”

“We would never eat you, Mom!” I ran up to nuzzle her.

“No matter how delicious you are.” Dad licked his lips.

“Bad Dad!” I kicked his shin and flinched back at the wall of solid muscle. “That was a stupid joke.”

“It’s every father’s job to tell tasteless jokes, my little light in the night.” He chuckled as I kicked him again. “You see the lieutenant over there?” He pointed to an enormous pile of rocks and the pegasus carting giant boulders through the air. The jerk was furiously flapping his wings just to get a few inches of lift, and he slowly carried the rocks to a long circle of stones he was forming around the castle.

“What’s he doing?” I squinted at him.

“Forming a rock band.” Dad grinned.

“Really?!” Mom laughed, kissing Dad on the nose. “You’re just awful, dear.”

“He’s just lucky I stuck with manual labor.” Dad growled. “I was this close to having him model Rarity’s dresses for a week after hearing about that little three versus one joke.”

“You tell Rarity about that joke and she’d do it.” Mom grinned evilly. “He’d probably come home a pin cushion too.”

“Now, now, dear. As much as I’d love to, you know that’d be cruel and unusual punishment.” Dad chuckled. “Now off with you before you’re late!” He pecked Mom one more time. “I’ve distracted you from your day long enough!”

“Bye, Dad!” I ran up for a quick hug and darted off towards the spa.

“See you later, dear.” Mom gave Dad a nuzzle that lasted way too long before following me. She passed me with long, measured gaits and pushed off into the air, playfully flicking me with her tail as she did so.

I leapt after her, ponies getting pushed back from the force of all the air I displaced. Mom had slowed into a steady glide to let me catch up, but as I did she winked at me, swooping to the left and picking up speed. I pumped my wings and gamely followed her as she danced about the clouds, but I was still a little tired from training and couldn’t quite play like she could.

“Oof!” Mom suddenly faltered for a moment. “Careful now, boys. I don’t think your wings are ready for that.” She slowed to a more reasonable pace and I caught up once again. The spa was at the end of the street now, and we landed a couple buildings away to walk in at our pace.

“Ah, Miss Glory! So nice to see you!” The earth pony behind the counter bowed her head as we walked in.

Mom glanced at the clock and winced. “We’re a little late, Aloe, but—”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all!” The spa pony waved a hoof. “It’s been a slow day today, and you so rarely seek the pampering you deserve. Let go of your worries and let us spoil you for a bit.”

Mom shook her head. “I don’t want to impose.”

“I already told you it’s not a problem~”

“But there must be something I can do to make up for being late.”

Aloe giggled. “Well, if you’re dead set on doing something, may I suggest visiting us more? You always have so many knots in your shoulders, and Princess Twilight just gushes about how hard you and your husband work. You deserve a little more in your life, darling.”

“I suppose I can’t say no when you put it like that.” Mom smiled. “I’m sure Night wouldn’t mind spending some more time with me here.”

“Really?!” I did a flip. “That would be great! No, wait!” I screeched to a halt in the middle of a second flip and squinted at Mom while upside-down. “What about training? Half the fun is getting to train first.”

“Of course. I’d never even dream of leaving out your training.” Mom ruffled my mane. “I’ll need to talk with Sergeant Smiles about it, though.”

“Screehee!” More flips abounded.

“I’ll be looking forward to it.” Aloe giggled, waving us toward the back. “For now, though, you have your Super Deluxe Package to enjoy. Lotus is already preparing your steam bath for you. Take the third right going in, and it’ll be the first door on your left.”

“Thank you.” With a nod to Aloe, Mom ushered me down the hall.

“So nice to see you could make it, ladies.” Lotus was standing outside the steam bath, bowing her head in a curtsey as we walked up. “I’ve kept the coals nice and hot for you.”

“Thank you, Lotus.” Mom smiled.

“Oh, it’s no problem at all.” She hoofed us a couple of bathrobes and helped us wrap our manes in towels. “Please, don’t be afraid to ask for anything if you need it.”

Trotting into the steam room, Mom and I settled onto the wooden benches surrounding the pit of coals in the center. A bucket of water and a ladle sat next to the pit, and Mom promptly scooped up a healthy helping of water from it, pouring it over the coals to have steam hiss and sputter into the room.

“Ahhh…” Mom leaned back in her seat as we let the heat wash over us.

Several more servings of steam were quickly added to the room, and the air around us grew hazy. My coat dampened, all the salty sweat crusting it from earlier working itself back into a lather. Moments later, my muscles sang in relief as the heat sunk into them. Letting it all just carry me away, I drifted off, eventually waking to find Mom nudging me with a smile.

“Having fun, sleepyhead?”

“Mhmm.” I yawned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and booping my snoot into hers.

“Took me a bit to realize you’d fallen asleep.” Mom booped me back with a smile. “I’ve been talking to myself like a loon under moon.”

“Sorry….” My ears splayed back.

“It’s alright, Night.” Mom swept me into a hug. “I’m just happy to be spending time with you. The fact that we can do this kind of thing more regularly now? It’s just…” Mom squeezed me tighter and nuzzled me. “Back in Canterlot, the only two days I could guarantee seeing you every year was today and Mother’s Day. I had to fight hoof and wing to make any more time for you in my schedule.”

“I still saw you, Mom.” I squirmed a little in the hot steam.

“Not anywhere as near as much as you should have,” Mom hummed. “I’m glad we made the choice to move out here.” Her grip tightened momentarily. “Are… are you glad we moved? I know I’ve asked you a few times before, but you left a couple friends behind, and…”

“Well… I still miss Echo and Fang sometimes….” I closed my eyes for a second to drift in my memories of Canterlot and the Undercity. “But I did make new friends like you said I would! I wouldn’t trade anything for getting to spend more time with you and Dad, so, yeah! I’m glad we moved out here!”

“Good….” Mom let out a sigh that tickled my ear before pulling away from me to look at the door. “Come on, then. I think it’s almost time for the next part of our package.”

“The waterfall?!” I bounced to my hooves.

“I believe so.” Mom smiled and made her way towards the door.

“Screehee! I love the waterfall!”

“I know, sweetie. That’s why I picked it.”

“It’s all like, ‘fwoosh!’”

“Yes, it is.”

“All heavy and intense and awesome! Like flying in a thunderstorm!”

“Night, we haven’t let you go flying in any thunderstorms.”

“Not yet! But Dad’s told me stories, and that’s what I always imagined them being like!”

“Oh, my little light in the night. Never change, you hear me?” Mom ruffled my mane as we exited the steam bath, completely ruining the towel wrapping it up. “We’re ready.” She nodded to Aloe, who had replaced her sister by the door.

“Good! Good!” She winked at me. “Did somepony have a nice nap?”

“Umm… yes?” I poked at the floor.

“Excellent! Your waterfall is right this way, then. You’ll have to excuse us, though. There’s been an issue with the piping for a few days now, and the water is coming down a little more forceful than most customers prefer. We are, of course, perfectly happy to substitute another treatment if you wish.”

“What?! No! That sounds great!” I beamed, hopping a little at the news. “I like it rough!”

“Really?” Aloe tilted her at us.

“Both of us do.” Mom nodded, a little grin crossing her muzzle. “There’s something special about having the water hammer away at you.”

“Maybe we should make it a permanent option then?” Aloe looked towards a door in the distance, the rumble and thunder of falling water carrying out and down the hall. “It may not appeal to too many customers, but that’s never stopped us before.”

“I know I certainly appreciate Bulk Biceps massages.” Rustling her wings, Mom smirked. “They’re almost as good as my husband’s.”

“Oh?” Our host held a hoof to her mouth and giggled. “I didn’t realize you had your own personal masseuse.”

“Ha! More like my own personal jackhammer! With the way that lunk pounds away, he’d probably end up hurting anypony else.”

“Dad hugs are like hungry anacondas.” I nodded sagely.

“You’re very lucky, then.” Aloe’s eyes gleamed as we reached the door to the waterfall. “It sounds as if he’ll never let you go.”

“Very lucky indeed.” Mom’s smirk softened into a smile. “Feel free to pull us out when the masseuse’s are ready for us.”

“Nonsense! You can take as long as you need to!”

“You underestimate me and Night.” Mom pulled off her robe and hoofed it to Aloe, stepping in the threshold of the door. “Trust me, you might need to drag us out.”





Legs crossed. Hooves pressed together. Head tilted upwards. Let it all crash down.

Feel the weight of the world. You are the water, and the water is you. All is now one.





Hours later, I stepped out the door with Mom and basked in the light of the dying sun. My coat was fluffy. My mane was silky smooth. And I smelled like apples and cinnamon. My fur sang as the wind slipped through it, and I smiled, fangs gleaming in the sunset.

“Best. Day. Ever.”

“Oh, it’s not done yet.” Mom pulled me closer with one wing for a quick hug. “There’s still the matter of your present from me. I had to put a lot of thought into how to beat your father this year after he let you go on your first pilgrimage alone.”

“What is it?! What is it?!” I hopped up and down.

“You’ll find out when we get back to the castle.”

“But I wanna know now!”

“That would ruin the surprise, Night.”

“So! You and Dad always say it’s bad to walk into an ambush!”

Mom just smiled.

“Aww….”

The flight back to the castle took forever. Unlike on our way to the spa, Mom seemed content to take it slow and smell the roses.

Every. Freaking. Rose.

The sun was almost gone by the time we made it back, but still, there was a smiling princess waiting for us. Princess Twilight Sparkle was talking to Dad as we flew in, however, she quickly turned to greet my mom with a wave.

“And how was your day off, Morning? Relaxing, I hope?”

“It was perfect, Princess. Thank you for understanding.” Mom bowed. “Forgive me if you’re still busy, but it’s time for that other little favor I asked you for.”

“No, no.” Princess Twilight beamed like the rising moon. “We already finished up all my duties for the day. Tempered and I were just discussing… pancakes. Are you two ready?”

“Ready for what?” I squirmed beneath the princess’ smile.

“For your present, of course! Your Mom asked me to take you to—”

“Princess.” Mom coughed.

“Oh, right! Sorry!” Princess Twilight blushed, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head. “I’ll, umm… just…” She trotted up to me and Mom. “Hold on tight, please. Teleportation can be a bit disorienting if you’re not used to it.”

“Huh?” I looked up, eyes widening even as Mom wrapped a wing around me and put a hoof on Princess Twilight’s withers. “Where are you taking—”

There a crackle and a pop as the princess’ horn lit up, and we suddenly turned sideways into a swirling mix of thousands of indescribable colors—plus Pink. As we were thrust back into reality, I barely had time to feel sick to my stomach before the princess and I had to catch Mom as she fell to her knees and heaved.

“Oh, sweet mother of Celestia….” Mom moaned, biting off a few extra bad Dad words. “The twins did not like that at all.”

“I warned you when you asked to come along, but you insisted on— Burn me a book, what is that smell?” Princess Twilight coughed as she helped me get Mom to her feet.

“Durian and rafflesia pancakes.” Mom gave a strangled laugh. “Say hello to breakfast.”

“How did you even manage to eat that?!”

“Hay if I know, Princess. It smelled even worse going down, yet it’s somehow good? It’s hot, heavenly garbage. Don’t ask me how it works.”

“Wha— Huh— How—”

“Also, Princess, no disrespect, but I would have been coming even if I was two weeks late and round as a blimp with septuplets.” Mom smiled, panting only slightly as she nuzzled me to let me know everything was all right. “The only thing that could have kept me back was a chance of miscarriage. I want to see her face when she finally realizes where we are.”

“Huh?” I blinked as Mom pulled back, finally looking around the room now that she seemed alright. “What are you—”

Worn banners fluttered in the breeze, stars twinkling down through a cracked and hole-filled ceiling. The sounds of a certain forest with a certain castle called out from all around us—somehow muted in this holy place—and two ruined and shattered thrones sat in regal mourning by the wall.

“Is this?” I raised my hoof, trotting forward to rest a hoof on the throne bearing a half-destroyed crescent moon.

“Yes, Night, it is.” Mom managed to stand a little taller and puff out her chest. “Tell me this doesn’t beat your father’s gift.”

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” In a flash, I was back by her side and trying to cut Mom in half. “How long can we stay?!”

“Not too much longer, unfortunately.” Mom ran a hoof through my mane as I squeezed her tight. “We can’t keep Princess Twilight for too long.”

“Awww….”

“I told you it wouldn’t be a problem.” Princess Twilight smiled. “We can stay longer if you want. I’m sure there’s still some books in here I haven’t read.”

“Really?!” I squeaked, looking at Mom with puppy dog eyes.

“Sorry, Night….” Mom rubbed her stomach. “But it really is best we go back now. I— Heurrk! I think I need my medicine.”

“Oh… okay….” I nuzzled into the crook of her neck as she wrapped me in a hug.

“I warned you, Morning.”

“Shut up, your highness.”

There was a flash of light with more of those unspeakable colors, and we were home before I could blink.

“Surprise!”

All I got a chance to see was the cannon sitting point blank in my face before I pulled Mom and Princess Twilight into the soft, fluffy floor.

KA-BLAM!

“Huh? Where’d they go?”

“Pinkie! You blasted them into smithereens! Pinkie?! Where is she?!”

“Psst! Hey, Night?!” The voice of parties and doom spoke from my left, and I turned to find two soulless, blue eyes staring at me from inside the cloud floor. “Why are you hiding from your surprise party? Isn’t it like, our job to surprise you?” There was an unholy gasp, and my vision turned Pink as the cloud was inhaled. “Unless you planned on turning the surprise party for you into a surprise party for all of us! Oh! I like that idea! I’m gonna do that next year on my birthday.”

“I told you it was a bad idea to ambush her with artillery.” Mom groaned, heaving me out of the cloud with a rather disoriented princess. Then, she heaved in a whole different way, emptying her stomach of the last few flecks of pancakes from this morning.

“Pinkie Pie? What did I tell you about firing your cannon at point blank range?” Princess Twilight patted Mom on the back and wobbled woozily beside me.

“Don’t worry, Twilight! I filled out all the insurance paperwork!”

“Oh, alright then…” Princess Twilight sighed. “Still, be a bit more careful?”

“Okie-Doki-Loki! Now, come on everypony!”

“Surprise!” Almost the entire class was there to greet me.

“How— How did you all get up here?” I looked around, jaw hanging loose.

“The magic of friendship!” they all chorused with a wave at the party pony.

“Were ya surprised? Were ya? Were ya? Were ya?!”

“Yes?” I fidgeted. “I, uhh… I don’t know what to say.”

“Just enjoy the party, Night.” Mom nudged me forward. “Go on.”

And so I did just that, celebrating the perfect end to truly the best day ever.
> Echoes of the Lost
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I flapped my wings for what felt like the thousandth time, and felt the warm tingly burn of muscles working as Dad and I pulled the wagon through the night. My sweat glimmered in the starlight as we kept both our wingbeats and our breathing in steady cadence—not even a tiny bit of turbulence reaching the snoozing passengers in the back.

“Mrgmmf! Buy some… apples….” Apple Bloom snorted, scratching at her ear with her hind hoof. Turning over, she stopped cuddling Scootaloo and latched onto Sweetie—who squeaked like a plushie in her sleep.

Scoots shivered as a breeze passed over us, and looked up blearily with a muffled squawk. Shuffling around the other two, she squeezed in between them and squirmed carefully to get her wings in a comfortable position. A series of giggles erupted from Sweetie and Bloom as Scootaloo’s feathers tickled them, and the pegasus crooned as she finally got into a good spot.

The wagon wobbled at their antics, and that made Diamond and Silver clutch to each other tighter. The two of them were in the back corner and wrapped thoroughly in a blanket—Silver’s glasses slid down her muzzle as her head drooped up and down.

“We’re almost there,” Dad rumbled, looking down on Shadow’s Reach with narrowed eyes. “You think the others will be up for helping us pitch the tents?”

“Maybe?” I looked back at everypony. “Might be better if we just let them sleep.”

“Probably.” Dad grinned. “Wanna put the bug attractors in their tents so we get breakfast and a show?”

“Dad!” I huffed. “That’s pure evil!”

“And hilarious.” Dad waggled his brow at me.

“Dad!”

“Alright, alright….” Dad hummed as he turned back to navigating. The stars seemed right, and a quick glance to the side showed the enormous tree that housed the main part of the colony was now to the north of us—no longer north-by-northwest.

We were so close, I could almost taste the lovely morsels waiting for me.

“There!” I pointed as I caught sight of a silvery ribbon in the darkness. As we flew over it, an almost invisible opening in the canopy presented itself, and we dove into its depths.

It was a tight fit with the larger wagon, and the claw-like branches scraped at the sides as if they were trying to grab ahold of us. Slitted eyes glared at us from the shadows as we disturbed several night time predators, and more than one hiss and growl chased after us.

“Eeeeeeeek!” I glanced back momentarily to see Diamond strangling Silver with a vice grip. Her cries woke the others—who all started marveling at the forest as we descended.

Scootaloo buzzed her wings as she watched the forest rush by. “Woah… cool! Was that a lion?! No! A tiger! No! A bear?”

“Oh, my!” Diamond squeaked at a particularly sharp turn.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Maybe it was one of those manbearpigs Lyra is always talking about!”

“Pfft! Those are just stories!” Apple Bloom snorted, still rubbing at her eyes as she gazed outwards.

“So?! Nightmare Moon was just a story a few years ago!” 

“Nuh-uh! Night’s made it pretty clear that she knew Nightmare Moon was real!”

“She didn’t know Luna was coming back, though!”

“So?!”

“So, everything!”

“Girls!” Sweetie squeaked, making Bloom and Scoots blink.

“Thank you, Sweetie Belle.” Dad gave a rumbling chuckle before briefly looking back at everypony. “Remember the big rule for coming with us, girls. No leaving the campsite without me or Nightingale.” He frowned for just a moment. “It’s incredibly easy to get lost in Shadow’s Reach. Even the rangers don’t know every nook and cranny.”

“Pfft!” Apple Bloom waved a hoof. “We’re big fillies too, ya know. We’ll be fine.”

“Eeeeeeeeek!”

“Okay, most of us are big fillies.” Apple Bloom splayed back her ears and glared at Diamond.

“H-hey! I-I’m a b-big filly too!”

“You ain’t acting like it!”

“That’s cuz I saw a spider the size of my head!”

“Mmm….” I grinned at the thought, licking my lips. “Sounds like the eggs have already hatched this year, then. That’s gonna be some good eating.”

“W-what?! You mean that was just a baby?!”

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it.” I shrugged, diligently maintaining my forward vigil as me and Dad navigated the twists and turns of the path. “If anything, it’s the giant mosquitos that’ll get you.”

“G-giant wha—”

“Oh! We’re here! We’re here!” I cheered as we finally finished tunneling through the canopy into the gloom of Shadow’s Reach. “Welcome to Hollow Shades National Park!”

Tree trunks as thick as a house loomed around us, while the ground waited far below. Massive boughs arched from tree to tree, forming pathways between them all. Every so often, a patch of softly glowing fungus could be seen on the trails—providing a comfortable amount of light to the darkness. Small colonies of thestrals dotted the branches around us, hiking to their heart’s content in the muted shadows.

Many of them waved as we passed by, and we all waved right back.

“Who are we waving to?” Scootaloo hissed to Apple Bloom as she flailed her hooves at the darkness.

A few buildings were built into the trees around us—mostly for administrative stuff. Dad and I were heading to the biggest to get our little group all registered, but my eyes kept trailing over to the summer flight camp and the happy squeaking of fillies and colts.

“Oi!” Dad flicked me with his tail and I startled, heat creeping up my face as he grinned at me. “You listening? I need you to look after your friends while I get us all paid for.” He glanced pointedly at my fellow crusaders—all whispering conspiratorially. 

“Sir, yes, Sir!” Platoon Sergeant mode activated!

Dad laughed as we landed, nodding toward the little specks of foals that were flying in the distance. “Amazing how little it changes, right? It was like this when your grandpa brought me and your aunts and uncles here, too.”

“So you’ve told me.” I giggled as he ruffled my mane.

Dad unhitched himself and continued to noogie me until I gave an indignant squeak.

“Be on guard, now, soldier.” He smiled at me before walking off towards the nearest door.

“So the whole campsite is in the trees?” Scootaloo eyed the branching pathways in the distance. The boughs all split again and again as they traveled away from the tree, eventually becoming so cluttered that they bound together to form the almost impassable canopy above our heads.

“Most of it.”

“And what’s down on the forest floor?”

“Monsters!” I bared my fangs in a grin.

“Really?! Awesome!” Scoots did a quick flip.

“N-not awesome!” Diamond eyed the forest like it was ready to eat her. “You promised Shadow’s Reach wasn’t as scary as everypony said.”

“It’s not!” I pounded a hoof against my chest and stood taller. “Dad and I are here!”

Diamond squirmed, looking down.

“What? Don’t you trust me?” My ears splayed back.

“It’s not that…” she mumbled into her hooves.

“Come on! At least trust the park rangers! It’s their job!”

“I said it’s not that!” Diamond glared at me, and I blinked.

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know….”

“The forest does kinda rub me the wrong way.” Apple Bloom wriggled her hooves. “I can feel it in my frogs like a bunch of icy pins and needles.”

“You can feel it too?” Diamond looked to Apple Bloom.

“Is that why my horn itches?”  Sweetie rubbed her head.

“My coat and feathers are a little on edge.” With a ruffle of her wings, Scootaloo glanced over the forest again.

“You’re all crazy.” I shook my head.

“Or maybe the forest just likes you.” Silver adjusted her glasses. “Clearly, it’s hungry for little sun-loving fillies.”

Diamond shivered and shrunk into her friends side.

“Guys!” I whined.

“I’m back!” Dad trotted up to pick up his half of the harness and blinked. “Did something happen, girls?”

“They think there’s something wrong with the forest.” I pouted.

Dad snorted. “Well, it is supposedly cursed.”

“C-cursed?!” Not even Scootaloo and Silver kept their cool at the word, and all the girls bunched up as they echoed Dad. The three earth ponies shuffled on their hooves as Scoots ruffled her wings, while Sweetie returned to rubbing her horn.

“But that’s the cool part!” I hopped from hoof to hoof. “Besides, it’s not like any of the stories are real!”

“Oh, some of them are certainly real.” Dad chuckled darkly, making Diamond and Sweetie whimper.

“Dad!” Slugging him—even lightly—was like trying to hit steel, so my smile was a bit forced as I looked back at everypony. “He’s just messing with you. A few of the stories might be real, but it’s been years since anything weird happened.”

“Yeah.” Dad nodded. “Most of the ghosts are quiet nowadays.”

“Wait…. You said it was a curse before!” Scootaloo poked out of the pony pile and rolled her eyes. “Ghosts? Really? Is that all we’re dealing with? We’ve dealt with ghosts before, right guys?!” She yanked Bloom and Sweetie to their hooves.

“Yeah, ghosts are way easier to handle than curses.” Apple Bloom had a bit of fire to her eyes again as she looked out on the forest. “Friendly, too. Remember that time we tried to help that ghost pass on when we were trying to get our cutie marks?”

“You think we can play with them?” Sweetie gave a small smile.

“I might be able to rig something.” Apple Bloom hummed, rubbing her chin. “A hoof-made ouija board might not work, though. Ain’t there supposed to be a bunch of spells that go with it?”

“You girls are nuts.” Silver shook her head as she stayed next to Diamond, who was now biting her hoofnails.

“Are we missing something here?” Dad and I tilted our heads to the side.

“I take it we never told you about our stint as Cutie Mark Crusader Occultists?” Bloom was already digging through her bag.

“I think I would have remembered that one.” I shook my head.

Dad just blinked bemusedly for a few more moments before sighing. “Princess Twilight did warn me, I suppose….” With a chuckle, he finally started to hitch himself back into the harness again. “New rule, everypony. You girls are not to try and contact the dead while we’re here. If they want to talk, they will come to you.”

In an instant, three weapon-grade pouts were unleashed on him. “But—”

“No buts!” Dad made sure to keep looking ahead as we pulled into the air. “Some of the spirits in the forest are dangerous once they’ve been stirred up—way more dangerous than the wildlife. It took a long time for the thestrals here to make this park as peaceful as it is, and I would rather you girls not mess up their hard work.”

“Fine…” my three, overeager friends huffed.

“There’s plenty of other stuff we can do, girls.” I giggled, glancing about the various paths. “So where are we gonna pitch camp, Dad?”

Dad was silent for a moment. “Well… if you fillies want ghosts, the park ranger did mention that there were a few open spots at ground level.”

Wait. What?

“But you never let me explore down there!”

Dad shrugged. “I never let you go on the pilgrimage before this year, either, but you’re officially a teenager now. Things are different.”

“R-really?!” A warm and bubbly feeling filled me as I puffed out my chest at his words. “Screeheeheeheeheeheehee!”

“Eeyup….” Dad gave a rumbling chuckle as he led us into the long and spiralling descent. “Soon enough, you’ll get all rebellious on me, so I figure it’s best we do this now as a family.” The chuckle turned into a laugh. “I mean, if we don’t, there’s always the chance you’ll sneak down there all alone like I did. Your grandpa was beyond pi—” I nudged Dad hard seeing as Mom wasn’t there. “—peeved about that.”

“Yeah, he told me about that, but he never really told me what happened to you.”

“Oh, I got lost.” Dad let out a bark of laughter.

“I know that.” I gave a squeaky snort. “I meant what happened to you while you were wandering about.”

“Ah. Well, that is a tale. It’s not every day one survives meeting one of the Lost.”

“Dad, if this is one of your jokes—”

“Nope! I met an honest-to-goodness Lost. He was this real sweet colt that couldn’t have been more than seven. He was even better at making doe eyes than you lot, so I kind of ended up just babysitting him until I was found. Fun little guy, but I’m not really sure it was worth a month of being grounded. I didn’t even get to hunt any monsters.”

“Oh, Dad….” I shook my head. “How could you possibly be so insubordinate?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.” Dad grinned. “You’re thirteen now and that means your cooties are coming for you.”

“Dad!” My voice chose the worst time to crack, causing a cascade of giggles to pelt me from the back.

I would have said more, but the forest floor was approaching, and Dad and I needed to be careful with where we landed. Like the canopy above, the ground was littered with wooden pathways. We were hard pressed to find a patch of dirt that wasn’t constricted with roots, and the few places there were could barely fit a single tent for one—let alone all of us.

“Come on, come on….” Dad muttered, taking us around the nearest tree trunk another time. “The ranger said there was a good spot if we circled down the tree four spots right from the front of registration.”

“Uh, Dad?” I fidgeted in the harness next to him. “You took a left as we took off, not a right.”

“What?!” Dad groaned. “Really?” He muttered several bad dad words under his breath, so I slugged him for Mom again. “Oi! You don’t have to hit me just because your mother told you to if I misbehaved.”

That makes me blink. “But if I don’t I’m being insubordinate.”

For some reason, that made Dad and the girls laugh.

“What? I’m serious!”

They just laughed harder.

Huffing, I glanced upwards to only see the faintest outline of the buildings and branches above. “We should be going that way.” I pointed towards a tree in the distance. “I think….”

“You think?” Dad chuckled and my ears wilted. “Trust me, it’ll be better if we just fly up to get our bearings and fly back down. I don’t even think we even came down near any of the official trails.”

“W-wait! I-I think I just saw somepony!” Diamond pointed a shaky hoof towards a shadowy arch near some trees.

“Huh?!”

“What?!”

“Where?!”

Sweetie, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom leaned over the edge of the wagon.

“Girls!” Dad growled. “Remember the rules for the wagon!”

“Aww….” They heaved a group sigh, but nonetheless backed up into the wagon.

“You think it was a ghost?” I whispered to Dad as we climb.

“Probably.” He shifted in his harness. “I hope we didn’t bother it too much. That didn’t look like a part of the park many ponies passed through.”

“Cool….” I looked back down only to wince as one of my wings twinged. The good burn was slowly becoming the bad, and my wings were starting to feel like lead. “Eurgh…. I think I’m gonna reach my limit soon, Dad.”

“We’re almost there, Night.” Dad almost immediately slowed his pace for me. “Are you going to be able to help me pitch the tent?”

“I should be…” I groaned. “Don’t be surprised if I just fall face first into the dirt when I’m done, though.”

“I’ll make sure you make it to your sleeping bag.” Dad chuckled.

We circled up and up and up until we finally made it to the canopy again. Heading back to registration, we turned right instead of left this time, and began what would hopefully be our final descent of the night.

The girls' adrenaline had petered out on the climb up, and they were back in Luna’s realm—cuddling and snoring and yawning in the back of the wagon. Every glance back made me sleepier and sleepier until I actually jolted awake from a very sudden landing. Dad was panting heavily beside me, and my ears wilted at the realization that I’d actually dozed off on him.

“Get some—” Pant. “—rest, Night. I’ll—” Pant. “—get the tent set up on my own.”

“But Dahyaahayahayaaaaaghd…” My jaw actually cracked frown the strength of my yawn.

“No buts, soldier.” Dad ruffled my mane before starting to unhook me from my harness. “You’ve already done enough today.”

“Nuh-uh….” I mumbled as the harness was finally pulled off. I stumbled a bit without the support, but Dad steadied me with his hoof. Blearily blinking around, I tried to get an idea of where we landed and how I can help, but my eyelids could barely stay halfway open.

“Night….” Dad picked me up, and I feebly attempted to squirm out of his grip. “Please… go rest with your friends. I’ll be able to get everything set up on my own.”

“But it’ll take you forever!” I tried to stand when he set me down beside the wagon, but before I could get anywhere, he tossed the other girls all on top of me, and I was instantly assaulted with warm hugs and snuggles that made it impossible for me to move. Tired as I was, I was nothing but a fluffy, giant teddy bear, trapped in the middle of five fillies’ embraces.

I had no choice but to huff in defeat as Diamond squeezed me with all the strength her little earth pony body gave her.

“Comfy?” Dad chuckled as he started to dig our gear out of the wagon. I tried to stick my tongue out at him, but I just ended up yawning again instead.

It was so warm here… so comfy… so… sleepy….





“Ahhhhhh! So many bugs!”

I was roughly dragged from my wonderful dream of being captain of the Night Guard as Diamond Tiara almost ripped open the flap to my tent and dove into Dad’s sleeping bag.

Wait. Dad’s sleeping bag wasn’t covered with frilly princess stuff. Why was Diamond’s sleeping bag in our tent?

Blearily looking around, I realized the rest of the girls were poking out of their bags to grumble at Diamond. Was I in the other tent? I… I thought Dad and I would be sharing like usual….

“Night, why are there bugs in the bathroom?!”

“Bathroom?” My eyes were still only about half open as I looked out the open tent flap to see Dad rolling on the ground and roaring with laughter. “There aren’t any bathrooms out here.”

“What?!” Diamond’s shriek became even more banshee-like. “B-b-but— Your dad said—”

“It’s your own fault for believing me when I said I brought an outhouse.” Dad’s laugh became an avalanche. “I— I can’t believe you bought that!” Clutching his side, he pounded his other forehoof into the ground as he gasped for breath.

“Dad!” I huffed. “You said you wouldn’t play any pranks with the bug attractors!”

“I didn’t put them in your tent, did I?” He grinned at me as he finally rolled back onto his hooves. Tossing some wood on the campfire beside him, he let the fire spark and pop, idly poking it with a metal tong. “Besides, who expects bathrooms when they go camping?”

I rolled my eyes, but didn’t argue with him. He was totally right. I mean, seriously, Diamond? An outhouse?

“So what are we having for breakfast?” I wriggled out of my sleeping bag and headed towards the smaller tent Dad had erected to the side.

“See for yourself!” He nodded to me when I paused before the tent to look back. “We got one heck of a catch last night!”

I carefully nudged my head through the flap to meet the eight-eyed gazes of at least four spiders the size of my head. Two of them were sinking their mandibles into the corpse of a gigantic beetle, while the other two were busy wrapping up the remains of several other bugs in their silk for later.

“Score!” I pulled my head out and pranced in a circle around Dad. "That’s almost enough for the whole trip from just one night!”

“If they choose to stay there, that is.” Dad chuckled.

“You need any help cooking them?!”

“Hah! Sorry, Night, but I already did that to breakfast.” He pulled out a box from under his wing and lifted the cover to reveal another spider, boiled exactly the way I liked. “I’m kind of surprised you didn’t wake up when I dropped him in the pot.”

Aww… the scream is always the best part….

“Tell me you brought apples, Bloom,” Scootaloo whispered with all the subtlety of a Day Guard trying to get the drop on a Night Guard.

“Don’t worry, girls!” Dad held up several more pieces of tupperware. “I made sure to bring plenty of food for you in the wagon. You’re having fruit salads with some luna berries I found while gathering firewood.

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” I started hopping again.

“Yes, Night, I got you plenty for dessert.” Dad ruffled my mane. “I found some moonflower, too.”

“Woohoo!” I pumped my hoof and did a flip. “Come on, girls! Last one done gets latrine duty!”

“Yes!” Diamond cheered, hopping back and forth from hoof to hoof. “There is a bathroom! Where is it? Where is it?!”

“Through there.” Dad pointed past a piece of brush that bravely clung on in the gloom and Diamond bolted toward it with a squeak.

Leaves rustled, then dreams were shattered. “Noooooooo!”

“It’s a hole in the ground, ain’t it?” Apple Bloom smirked.

“Oh yeah.” I giggled like a loon under moon.

“We ain’t actually gonna have latrine duty, are we?”

“Hay, no!” I shook my head. “Dad’s always got that covered.”

“Oh, thank Celestia.” The rest of the girls sagged in relief.

“Actually…” Dad rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “…you are getting older.”

“Huh?!” I blinked a couple of times before blanching. “Oh, ew! Do I have to?”

“You’ll have to learn at some point.” Dad chuckled.

“But you could just show me how to do it.” I pouted at him full force.

“Ooof!” Dad clutched his chest. “Careful there, sport. You want to give me a heart attack?”

I turned it up to eleven.

“Ack!” Dad fell down on his knees. “Alright, alright… I’ll handle it… but we’re turning it into a lesson!”

“Where’s the toilet paper?!” Diamond’s voice wavered back from the latrine.

“You see that bush?” I called back, muffling my giggles with one hoof.

“Yeah?”

“Reach inside it!”

“Okay!”

“Feel around!”

“Okay?”

“And grab the softest leaves you can find!”

“W-what?!”

“Make sure you double check for bugs or they might crawl up your butt!”

“Night!”

Diamond’s wail of despair echoed far throughout the forest.





“Oooh….” I looked at the trail’s entrance with wide, sparkling eyes. The sign said this was the oldest, longest, scariest path in the park, and that only the bravest of ponies survived. “Let’s do the Test of Courage!”

Sweetie Belle eyed the big, bold, bloody, iron-colored lettering beneath it. “Warning: do not wander off the premarked path. All fillies, colts, pets, and day dwellers should be supervised by a responsible parent or owner at all times, and are not to be allowed allowed down this path during true darkness. Should a member of your group go missing, it is highly advised that you immediately report their absence to the nearest park ranger. Pregnant mares are advised—”

“Snore!” A fidgeting Scootaloo hopped atop her friend with a flap of her wings to look at the sign herself. “Jump to the part where it tells us what’s in there!”

“Scoots! Get off of Sweetie!” Bloom tried to drag Scootaloo back and promptly made a small, struggling pony pile.

“Hrmm….” With the sign free to read, Silver moved up to scrutinize the long, long list of hazardous warnings. She adjusted her glasses while doing so, leaning in to see better in the darkness. “Welp, I’m sold.”

“Yes!” I all but pranced in place. “What about you, Diamond?”

My best friend stared silently at the board.

“Diamond?” I poked her when it became clear she wasn’t responding.

After being unresponsive for several more seconds, there was a quiet meep.

“Is that a yes?” I leaned in and cocked my ear.

“D-do I have to?”

“Well…” I wilted. “You don’t have to go, but then none of us would be able to either. Dad might be the best guard around, but even he can’t be two places at once.” I kicked the sign. “Stupid sign. I’m a big filly. I bet I wouldn’t need Dad watching me.”

“Why don’t we just ignore it?” Scoots huffed.

“No.” Dad finally spoke from the shadows. “I’m not splitting us up like that.” He patted me on my withers. “If you want, I’ll watch Diamond and let you all take one of the intermediate level hikes on your own, but Morning would kill me if I let any of you take the Test of Courage by yourselves.”

“It won’t be the same….” I tried not to slump, but it was hard.

“Aww….” The other crusaders pouted.

Diamond bit her lip. “Okay, fine! I’ll do it! Just stop making me feel like I’m kicking a box of puppies!”

“Yay!” Sweetie, Scoots, and Bloom instantly brightened up, but Silver and I moved over to give Diamond a hug.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” I was gentle but firm as I spoke.

“I’ll be alright….” A small shudder ran through Diamond as we held her. “I mean, we’ve got your dad to protect us. Just… stay near me? Both of you?”

“Of course.” I squeezed her tighter. “I was planning on doing that anyway.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because if this morning taught me anything, it’s that you don’t know how to camp.”

“So?”

“So that means you’re the weakest link.”

“I’m the— What?! I am not!”

“Are too! Any predator we run across is gonna sense all that nervousness and go straight for you if they’re hungry!”

“N-no they won’t!”

“Yes, they will!” I huffed. “And don’t even get me started on what some of the more nasty ghosts might do if they get a taste of your fear.”

“Eeeek! B-b-but you said nopony’s disappeared in years!”

“Smooth, Night. Smooth.” Silver’s stink eye could kill at fifty paces. 

“What?” I almost took a step back at her heated glare. “Just because there hasn’t been an accident, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a danger!” I glanced back at Dad for some sort of back up.

“Huh?” For some reason, Dad was grinning stupidly as he watched me and Diamond. “Oh! Yes, the warnings exist for a reason. No matter how safe the rangers make the park, there’s always the chance something will wander in from another part of the forest.”

“See!”

Silver frowned. “That’s no reason to scare Diamond even more.”

“She isn’t scaring me….” Diamond suddenly pushed away from me with a huff and glared at the entrance to the trail. “I— I refuse to be scared of you! Stupid trail! You hear me?!” Her gaze suddenly turned on me, and it was as fiery as the sun. “And you. I. Am. Not. The. Weakest. Link.” She punctuated each word with a not-so-dainty poke to my chest before turning and almost slapping me with her tail as she barged ahead of us.

“What.”

“Just.”

“Happened?”

Sweetie, Scoots, and Bloom were the first to recover, followed quickly by my Dad who roared with laughter.

“Way to go, champ! You really know how to light Diamond’s fire!”

“I— Uh— What?” I put my hoof to my cheek to feel the slight sting of her tail. “What did I do?”

“You guys coming or not!” Diamond was stopped just at the edge of sight and was tapping her hooves impatiently.

Dad continued chuckling as he shepherded us together before following after Diamond. “Pro tip for you, sport. Never call a mare weak.”

“I just wanted to look out for her!”

“That’s what they all say.” Dad winked.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I said it to your mother, too.”

“Can you start making sense?!” I let out a little whinny and a snort. “Why would you ever call Mom weak?”

“Same reason you just said it to Diamond.”

“But Mom is tall and strong and brave!”

“And that has nothing to do with why I said it.” Dad was grinning like somepony who’d spent their whole lives eating nothing but horseapples.

“Wha— Buh— Argh! Whatever!” I rustled my wings as everypony else giggled at our exchange, and cantered ahead to where Diamond was waiting.

“Sorry!” The apology was vomited out before I even realized I’d opened my mouth, and I squirmed in the shadows as I waited for a response.

“For what?” Diamond grumbled as she glared out at the roots around us. “You were right.” She flicked her tail at me. “Were. Right. Now I’m gonna prove you wrong, because I have just as much Junior Guard training as the rest of the girls. The only one here with any right to be stronger than me is you.”

“Sweet Luna….” I looked briefly to the heavens. “Diamond, you’re not making sense. That has nothing to do with the fact that you’ve obviously never gone camping before.”

“I have too!”

“It’s not real camping if there’s bathrooms that deserve to be called bathrooms.” I couldn’t help rolling my eyes.

“Well— I— Uh—” She faltered, cheeks flushing black. “It was on one of Dad’s business trips, okay?! It’s not my fault we went to one of those places that has all the conveniences of home. There weren’t trees as big as skyscrapers or giant pony eating spiders or ghosts or anything like that.”

“Heh….” I rubbed the back of my head. “I suppose Hollow Shades is a bit more… wild than most ponies are comfortable with. Look, I’m sorry if I said something stupid trying to make you feel better. You were scared, and I thought you might feel safer knowing I was there. It’s what guards do, you know?”

“You’re not a guard yet.”

“So? That doesn’t mean I can’t act like one.”

“A real knight in shining armor would never call his princess weak.”

“To her face.” I snorted. “But this isn’t a story, and you’re not a princess that gets kidnapped by a dragon every other week.”

“That’s not the—”

“Having fun, girls?”

“Sir, yes, sir!” I immediately snapped a salute while Diamond yelped and shot straight up into the air.

“How long have you jerks been listening?!” Even clutching at her heart and gasping for air, she managed to glower at the others.

“Long enough.” Silver adjusted her glasses. “We didn’t want to ruin the moment.”

“Couldn’t have gotten much sappier, though,” Scootaloo grumbled. “Seriously, you two. Just shut up and ki—”

“Kindle your friendship already!” Sweetie half-slugged half-shoved Scootaloo to the side.

“Okay?”

“You two all good now?” Apple Bloom shot Scoots and Sweetie a look and stepped forward.

“Mhmm.” We both nodded meekly.

“Good!” Dad let out a rumbling laugh. “I was worried I’d have to resort to a never ending stream of dad jokes to get you both to unite against me. You know, be the villain?” He sucked in a few hoarse, gravelly breaths and reached out towards me. “Night, I am your father.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sehr lustig, Vater.”

“I’m totally hilarious and you know it.” Dad bared his fangs in a grin so smug that I could have sworn I heard Sergeant Smile’s sneeze from here.

And so—much like Mom told me to if Dad got too full of himself—I led the girls in an assault.

“Ah! Oof! Ow! Okay! I get it! I get it! I’m only mildly laughable with a side of groans!” Dad pretended to fall back under the onslaught of sticks and stones that we bombarded him with. Shielding himself with one hoof, he laughed off our attempts at pelting him, and he counter-attacked by swooping me into a hug as soon as we were all out of ammunition

“Join the dark side, Night! We have cookies!”

“Never!” I fought bravely to free myself from his noogies. “Last time I fell for that trick, you baked them gluten and sugar free!”

“You monster!” My friends instantly came to my rescue as they tackled Dad from all directions.

We rolled a few feet further down the path before stopping in a dirty, panting mess, and Dad let us lie there for a minute or two before pulling us all to our hooves and dusting us all off.

“Alright then, girls. That’s enough funny business for now. Moonlight’s wasting, and we don’t want to disturb the forest too much.”

“Isn’t it daytime right now?” Sweetie squinted up through the darkness.

“It’s just a phrase, Sweetie.” Dad chuckled. “It is still most definitely day time.”

“Daytime in the darkness, how wonderful.” Silver rolled her eyes.

“Isn’t it?!” I grinned like a loon under moon. “But yeah, Dad’s right. Enough horsing around, girls! We haven’t even gotten that deep into the trail yet!” I grabbed Diamond and started dragging her down the trail with me. “Me and DT got point!”

“You heard your Platoon Commander, girls!” Dad laughed as he lifted himself into the air. “Buddy up and stay in sight of each other! I’ll watch over you all from up here!”





The trail had started near our campsite at the midpoint between two of the massive trees that made their home in Shadow’s Reach. There was actual dirt to plant the tents in there, as well as flowers and shrubs to forage food from. It was the lone and gnarled offshoot of one of the roots of the tree in the distance that marked the beginning of our journey, though, and we had to carefully navigated up the narrow path for a while, being cautious not to take the wrong route whenever the roots from other trees crossed us to create other branches we could take.

Thankfully, we had signs to point us the right way, so Diamond and I had no problem with staying the course.

As we crawled our way towards the tree in the distance, the root we were on slowly grew until we could peer off the side and down into darkness if we wanted to. The tangle of roots from the tree we were heading towards arced both above and below us, casting us in shadows and making me feel like I was in that one painting I always loved to stare at when Dad had duty in the west wing of the castle.

What was it called again?

Eh… doesn’t matter.

“Eeep!” There was the snapping of wood, and Diamond suddenly started hopping from hoof to hoof like the ground was made of lava. “Night! My hooves just went crazy!”

“Did you step on a loose bit of bark?” I glanced towards where she’d been standing.

“No! It was like when we entered the park but ten bajillion times wor— Sweet Celestia, what’s that?!”

A loud and decrepit creaking filled the air, and I whirled to see what she was pointing at. Off in the distance, an enormous shadow was starting to move. What had looked like nothing but more roots was slowly starting to rise as two glowing orbs that may or may not have been eyes flickered to life.

“Woah! That’s a titanic octocreeper! I didn’t realize one was sleeping so close to us!” I hopped from hoof to hoof. “Do you know how lucky we are right now? There’s only like five octocreepers that big in existence, and they sleep for years at a time between feedings!”

“That’s, uh… great, Night. We don’t have to worry about it eating us, do we?” Diamond was huddled close to me as we watched the octocreeper reach out its tendrils for one of the trees and began to climb it.

“Nah!” I laughed, and waved away her silly fears with a hoof. “You think that thing would even bother with meals that small? It’s heading up for the canopy to bloom for a bit and get some light. We’ll have to see it on our way home if it’s still up there.”

“The canopy?” Diamond gulped, looking skyward. “How the— Night, there’s no room for it to go above the canopy without tearing a way through! What if we get caught in an avalanche of wood?!”

“Well, it’s not called an octocreeper for nothing.” I grinned. “Have you ever seen just how flexible octopuses are?”

“I—” There was a deep breath. “I’m just going to trust you on that one,” Diamond sighed. “My hooves are still tingling like crazy, though.”

“Not much I can do about that.” I walked a little ahead to go beneath the next arch. “Well… except maybe give you a ride. Are you having any trouble walking?” I turned back to look at Diamond only to nearly jump out of my coat.

“Screeeeeeee!” I hissed at the hundreds of brilliant eyes staring out from the shadows of the arch, and the long, sharp claws reaching out for Diamond Tiara froze.

“Diamond. Run. Now.” I kept my eyes on the eyes. Where was Dad? Where was Dad? Where was Dad?!

“W-what?”

“Run!”

“Eeep!”

“No! Not that way!” I surged forward as she turned around and ran straight into the clutches of whatever thing was in the tree.

“But you said run!” Diamond wailed as she flailed for freedom.

“I thought it was obvious it was behind you!” I roared as loud as I could, hoping Dad would hear and know something was wrong.

“Pony….” There was an otherworldly reverberation as the thing spoke, and it reached its other arms towards Diamond.

“Eeek! What are you doing?!” She bucked at the closest limb. “Unhoof me right now or I’ll have my Daddy sue the pants off of you! Night! Help! I think it’s going to—”

The other claws surged forward, and Diamond was suddenly the subject of a lot of petting and ear scritches. It was my turn to freeze, unsure of what I was seeing. I wanted to charge in and save Diamond, but every instinct I had was suddenly screaming that would be a very bad idea.

It— It wasn’t hurting her. Right?

There was no reason to make it mad?

“Pony….” There was much humming and cooing as a bunch of different voices lavished Diamond with affection.

“Night! What are you doing?! Help— Ooooh yeah… right there… that feels great….” Diamond pushed her head into the palm of one of the claws as it scratched her ears a certain way. “I mean, help me!”

“I… don’t think it’s dangerous….” I took a step back. “Dad would have done something if it was. I think… I think it just wants to make friends with you.”

“Well, we can’t stay here forever!”

“I know! I know!” I barked, deciding it was better to risk it and flying up to the… whatever this was. “Umm… look, Mister Eye-thingy?” I squirmed as all its eyes all suddenly turned on me.

“Pony…?”

“Ahaha, yes.” I rubbed the back of my head. “I… umm… well… we, uh, need to get going? So if you could let my friend Diamond go, I’d be ever so thankful. We kinda need to make it to the end of the path and back before true darkness sets in, so would you mind letting us go ahead? I promise we can play some on the way back.”

“Pony….”

One of the claws reached out slowly to give me my own ear scritches before the rest lowered Diamond to the ground and she cantered to safety. The arms seemed to wilt at this, so I flew up to one and gently patted it.

“Sorry…. You kind of scared her.” And me, but there was no way I was saying that out loud. “We really will be back in a bit, though. Maybe she’ll be calmer by then.” I smiled as best I could. “There should be a couple more fillies coming up from behind us, though! Friendliest bunch I’ve ever met! I’m sure they’ll love to make friends with you!”

“Pony…?” The eye-filled, shadowy arch creaked as it arched upwards like an eyebrow.

“Yes, really! And if they don’t then I’ll tell them off for it when we meet them on the way back!”

“Pony!”

Without warning I was swept up in a hug and petted again.

“Screeeeeee…” I crooned, “I mean, you’re welcome!” I extracted myself from the claws and flew back to Diamond Tiara, waving back at the thing as we went ahead.

“You’re pure evil, you know that?” Diamond glanced back with a shiver and sidled up beside me. “You basically just fed the others to that thing without a second thought.”

“It’s friendly!” I hastily looked back just in case, my ear flicking for screaming fillies.

“It’s also absolutely terrifying, and they don’t know it’s friendly,” Diamond huffed.

“Should we go back then?”

“No!” Diamond’s hoof shot out to clutch my foreleg. “If it gets out of hoof, your Dad will intervene.”

“Yeah….” My ears wilted. “He will.”

“Something wrong?”

“I’m a little worried about the fact that he didn’t help us. I mean, if he knew it was there and that it was harmless, why didn’t he warn us?”

“Because it’s a test of courage?” Diamond arched her brow at me. “It’s literally in the name.”

“It’s still a jerk move.” I kicked the pathway. “You could’ve been hurt if you struggled too much….”

“He probably trusted you to handle it.” Diamond set a hoof on my withers. “I… I know I did.”

“Thanks.” I gave her a half-hearted smile, still glancing backwards every-so-often.

“So, is that all?” After several minutes without any screams from behind us—when we were far out of earshot from the clawed monstrosity—I finally let myself relax again. “I mean, if that’s the only thing we need to be scared of out here, it’s actually a little disappointing.”

“I will be perfectly happy if that’s the only monster we find,” Diamond huffed.

“I’m pretty sure it was a ghost and not a monster.” I rustled my wings. “Maybe? I don’t know actually…. I’ve never heard of a creature like that before.”

“And ghosts aren’t monsters?”

“According to the park mandates?” I shook my head. “No, they’re not. The rangers here are supposed to help any spirits they find pass on, and if they can’t do that, they’re supposed to make them as comfortable as possible.”

“Why in Equestria would they do that?”

“You know, I never thought to ask Uncle Spirit Chaser that?” I tilted my head and hummed in thought. “I wonder if Dad— Aww, horseapples.”

As we rounded a bend in the trail, we came down upon not just an arch but a series of arches—all so close together that they basically made a cave. Clumps of dirt and rock had settled in the crevices between the roots to further block out the light until even I had trouble seeing.

“So how far in that can you see?” I tentatively tossed a stick through the entrance.

“I can’t.”

“Well, that sucks.” I squinted, trying to spot any signs something inside would jump us. “I guess this explains why the sign was so adamant about day dwellers having a thestral escort. You want me to carry you through?”

Diamond bit her lip. “Maybe we should wait for Sweetie Belle.”

“If you want to, we can do that.” I shrugged. “I’m not sure how long the tunnel will be anyways. I think we might have wound up pretty far ahead of them, though. We haven’t heard any of their antics in over an hour.” I frowned. “Actually… we haven’t heard from Dad in a while either. I’m really starting to think something happened to somepony behind us. We should probably go back.”

“We’re so close, though….” Diamond stopped glaring at the darkness for a moment to glance at the tree trunk looming in the distance.

“Eurgh….” I messaged my temple. “We really, really are. I don’t want to go back without finishing!”

Was it worth getting in even more trouble to finish? Dad would probably be mad that I didn’t notice we’d gotten separated sooner.

“I guess we don’t have a choice….” I sighed. “Let’s head back, Diamond. We could go on ourselves, but I’d have to carry you through the cave, and there’s no guarantee that nothing will go wrong while we’re in there. I don’t want to risk us getting wounded in a place that nopony can see from the air.”

“If you say so….” Diamond eyed the darkness wistfully. “You— You think we could come back tomorrow? The trail really wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.”

“You know we have to head out early tomorrow to make it back in time for school starting on Monday.”

“This sucks.”

“Tell me about it.” I shot one last look at the cave as we left. “At least we probably won’t be in as much trouble as the others. We just accidentally wandered ahead. They had to have done something way stupider to distract Dad long enough to allow us to do that.”

“What do you think it was?” Diamond frowned.

“I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure that if they woke up a monster, it ended up way more afraid of them than they ever were of it.”

“Is that because of the girls, or is that because of your dad?” Diamond arched her brow at me, and I burst into a fit of giggles.

“Yes.”





“I swear… if your sisters don’t ground you for at least a month, I’m going to call in that favor the princess owes me and get it made a royal decree.” Dad was pacing back and forth as Diamond and I entered the camp, the rest of the girls arrayed before him in a line—completely covered in tree sap.

“We’re really sorry, Mister Mettle….”

“Who in their right, bloody minds chases after a titanic, sunblasted octocreeper?!” Dad threw up his hooves so hard it made us all flinch back. “Night and Diamond are out there on their own because of you lunatics! What if something happens to them before the rangers find them?!”

The ranger we’d met on our way back tried to nudge me forward, a stoic frown marring his face as he remained silent. My legs were frozen, though—locked up at the sight of Dad violently stomping the ground as he stalked back and forth.

“And if that wasn’t enough, the minute the octocreeper was clearly out of your reach, you chose to galavant deeper into the forest!” Dad’s tail flicked like a whip. A cracking sound filled the air. A growl lurked in the back of his throat.

“We thought we saw somepony!” For a moment, Scootaloo managed a bit of defiance, but it quickly melted under the glare Dad gave her.

“That isn’t a reason to ignore me when I’m yelling for you to stop!” Dad stopped his stomping to turn and flare his wings before Scoots, casting her in shadow.

“Dad, stop….” I murmured, finally managing to take a step forward.

“If you had listened to me then, we could have caught back up to Night!”

“Dad, I’m right here….” My ears folded back.

“You lot need to start listening to the rules I set. Honestly, I’m starting to wonder if I should bring you on these trips with me and—”

“Dad!” My voice cracked so high that I doubted my friends could hear it.

Dad flinched, ears splayed back for a moment at my screechy squeak. He peeked back at me the same way he peeked back at Mom whenever he got caught sneaking us cookies, and when I scowled at him with my best Mom face, his wings wilted faster than a moonflower left in the sun.

“Oh, thank Luna, Night….” In an instant, he pounced on me—the rest of my friends quickly following—and I was subjected to corporal snugglement.

“Dad! Quit it!” My anger was quickly fizzling as he nuzzled me with wild abandon.

The ranger finally coughed to get everypony else’s attention—wordlessly shoving the still hesitant Diamond forward—before nodding to Dad and taking off without a sound. The poor filly was dragged into the lion’s den with a meep, my friends assaulting her with as much friendship as they’d given me.

“I’m was so worried, Night….” Dad’s forelegs held me so tight that there were stars in my eyes and my bones were creaking, but I wouldn’t give his hug up for all the world.

“I-I’m so sorry!” Whatever spark he’d lit by yelling at my friends was gone now, and I latched onto him, sniffling uncontrollably. “Please don’t be mad at everypony else! It was my fault for not noticing you fell behind!”

“Oh, Night….” Dad ran his hoof through my mane. “Your friends did something incredibly stupid and dangerous. You know I can’t just let that slide.”

“B-b-but you’re only this mad at everypony because I made a mistake! If I’d kept a better vigil, then we wouldn’t have gone too far ahead, and you wouldn’t be threatening the others, and—

“Shhhhhhhh….” Dad silenced me with a massive forehoof and pulled me back to his chest. “I— I was overreacting when you got back, Night. I was scared you might never come back, and angry at myself for not taking two—” The word that followed was lost as I sniffed loudly. “—ing seconds to signal you and Diamond to stop.”

He heaved a sigh that left him feeling… tiny… next to me. “I was taking it out on your friends, and I’m sorry about that, but I still meant what I said. Your friends have got to learn that I lay down rules for a reason. If they can’t learn that, then they shouldn’t come with us on trips like this.”

My friends had fallen quiet as Dad spoke, all of them coming in contact with me in one way or another.

“You know I’m right, Night. This is exactly why the guard has a chain of command.”

I flinched at his words, burying my head deep in his chest to try and drown the truth out.

“But…”

My ears perked.

“I suppose I can give everypony one more chance. Nopony was hurt, and I know not having them would make you miserable.” His smile was tiny when I looked up at him. “Going with just me and your mom just doesn’t cut it anymore, does it?”

No! Not true! I loved everything we did together!

Biting my lip so hard I drew blood, I tore my gaze away from his.

I just— I loved doing stuff with my friends too.

“Now, we’ve all had a rough day.” Dad unfurled his wings to wrap us all in an enormous hug. “I think it’s time we just let all the drama drop for now. You fillies came out here to have fun, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do for the rest of the night. I have marshmallows and chocolate for some smores, and I have a couple instruments for campfire songs. I’ll let you all stay up way past bedtime to tell scary stories and gossip about colts and whatever else you want to do.”

His gaze hardened. “But! You all have to promise— No, Pinkie Promise! Pinkie Promise me that none of you will leave the campsite until we leave tomorrow. I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night to find any of you out hunting ghosts or something.”

My friends and I all glanced between each other before dutifully starting the motions. “Cross my heart and hope to fly! Stick a cupcake in my eye!”

From somewhere deep in the woods, there was the tiniest giggle.

About halfway through the motions, Dad cut off me and Diamond with a hoof. “Not you two. You didn’t do anything wrong today, and I trust you won’t disappoint me by running off in the middle of the night.”

“Thanks….”

I should have been more happy—really I should have—but all my warm fuzzies kept getting eaten by this stupid gnawing feeling as Dad scrutinized everypony else.





“And when the train set out from Appleoosa, it vanished into the night without a trace.” Silver’s face flickered with shade as she looked at us over the crackling fire. “Drivers gone. Cargo gone. But worst of all—” She leaned forward like a cobra about to strike. “—was the fate of the greedy Baron Black Gold.”

“W-what could be worse than mysteriously vanishing?” Diamond managed to peak out from under my wing finally. She’d retreated there ever since Scoots told the first story, and had refused to leave during both Bloom’s story and Sweetie’s.

Thankfully, Silver really wasn’t that good at being scary.

“Without the oil he promised his investors, his company’s stocks plummeted farther than he had to dig for oil! His family lost millions!”

“Noooooooo!” And there Diamond went, nuzzling into my shoulder again.

“Really, Silver?” Scoots rolled her eyes and savagely tore into her crispy black marshmallow.

“Didn’t you say they were billionaires?” Sweetie tilted her head. “Why would anypony care if they lost millions.”

“Forget the money!” Apple Bloom crossed her hooves over her chest. “Why would anypony find that scary?”

“Millions, Night. Millions!” Diamond clutched me harder, and I sighed.

“Okay, girls, I think that’s enough scary stories for now.”

“What?!” There was a chorus of protests.

“But you haven’t had your turn yet!”

“Yeah! You’re bound to know something beyond scary!

“I wanted to hear one of yours!”

I briefly glanced down at Diamond. “I’d rather keep my foreleg if that’s alright, and the last thing I want is to give any of you nightmares.”

“Eurgh… Diamond!”

“I’m worried about more than Diamond, Scoots.” I shook my head. “To be honest, all your stories were kind of—” I bit my lip.

“Boring.” Dad gave a fanged grin, and I shot him a glare. “Sorry, Night, but you know it’s true. It takes a true creature of the night to hunt in the places any sane day dweller fears to tread.”

“So we’re all just loons under moon?” I gave a squeaky snort.

“Ha!” Dad roared with laughter. “You have to be to take on some of the beasties we’ve found during the years. Now, let me tell you all a tale—a true tale, mind you—of a little filly named New Moon and her shadow, He Who Walks Behind.”

“Oh, no…” I whispered, pulling Diamond closer to me. “Plug your ears, Diamond. This one’s going to get bad.”

“B-but—”

“Trust me. You don’t want to hear this one. It had me wetting the bed for a week after I first heard it.”

“Eep!”

That did the trick. Now, if only I could warn the rest of my friends before it was too late. Sadly, they were all giving Dad their full attention, and the story was getting into the swing of things. There was nothing I could do but watch, wait, and listen, offering a bit of comfort when the story became too much.





“And so the colony of Ebonwood was swallowed in the darkness of He Who Walks Behind.” The deep, gravelly avalanche that was my Dad’s voice rolled over us in waves. “It’s said that unsuspecting travelers still stumble upon the town under the shade of a new moon—never in the same place twice—as it travels the realm of shadows with its master. For those few souls desperate enough to take shelter there… once He Who Walks Behind has touched you, you can never escape his grasp….”

Dad ended with a deep, dark chuckle that sent tingles down even my spine, but I had to be strong for everypony else. I mean, my wings were already shivering violently from the five ponies taking shelter beneath them. It wouldn’t really help things if I joined in on our little quiver dance.

“You done having fun?” I scowled at Dad, trying hard to resist the temptation to scratch my wings. With everypony taking shelter under them, they were getting hot and itchy and smelly and— Dear, sweet Luna, I wanted to run my fangs over them so bad!

“Perhaps I did overdo it.” Dad chuckled. “I didn’t start out thinking I’d tell that story. It just kind of happened after hearing your friends…”

“…spout lousy excuses for scary stories?” I snorted. “That doesn’t mean you should go all out on them.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Dad heaved a sigh. “I wasn’t going to go easy on them just cuz they’re day dwellers, though. I mean, your mother isn’t scared of that story.”

“Mom doesn’t count! She can beat up most of the Dawn Guard while carrying twins!”

“She sure can!” Dad laughed and waved a hoof. “She’s why you never underestimate a day dweller! Your friends will all be fine in the morning. Trust me.”

“They better be,” I growled, unfurling my wings to poke them. “Come on, girls. Bedtime.”

“Is it over?” Sweetie risked opening an eye and perking an ear.

“Yes, it’s over.” I smiled. “Do you guys want some more s'mores before the fire dies? I can toss another log on if you’d like.”

“That’d be coo— Aaaaahyaraaahaaa….” Scootaloo yawned so wide I could see the back of her throat.

Apparently, Dad was right. There was barely a hint of a quiver to her anymore, and she looked like she was ready to drop.

“Mrrrgmff…. Nevermind…. I think I’m gonna just hit the hay.” She glanced into the comforting shadows of the forest. “If I can get to sleep, that is….”

Okay, maybe she was just too tired to show her fear. I was so gonna slug Dad if he gave them nightmares.

“I’m pretty beat too.” Apple Bloom picked up Diamond Tiara—who had fallen asleep at my side shivering, her ears splayed so airtight upon her head that she couldn’t possibly hear Dad. “I reckon we should all just turn in for the night.”

“Yeah….”

“Uh-huh….”

“Mrrrgmff… bathrooms….”

I giggled as Diamond twisted on Bloom’s back and finally locked somepony else in a vice grip.

“She’s cute when she’s asleep, ain’t she?” Dad grinned wolfishly as the rest of the crusaders trooped off.

“Yeah….” I poked the fire a little more, determined to get the last few embers before turning in myself.

“If you don’t mind… there’s one last thing I want to show you before we hit the sack.” Dad rubbed the back of his head.

“Now?” I cocked my head. “But it’s the middle of true darkness.”

“And that’s exactly how I know where to go.” Dad looked off into the woods. “There’s somepony I want you to meet. He’s been waiting thirteen years to meet you, and I’d rather not make him wait another year.”

“You’re not making sense….” I squirmed, following his gaze.

“You’ll understand if you come with me.”

“But all the super dangerous stuff is out and about right now!”

“Yes, but I know that you’ll stick to me like glue because of that.” He smiled and ruffled my mane. “Trust me. I’ll keep you safe.”

“Well…” I glanced back at the tent with my friends and tried to count just how many of them were snoring. “Alright, then… but this better be good!”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Dad’s smile really helped ease all the butterflies in my stomach.





We flew silently through the forest, Dad keeping us well above the ground. His eyes traced the roots below like an owl seeking prey, and we glided swiftly along a path that seemed to have no rhyme or reason. I followed as close as I could, making sure to stay in his skein, but every so often he’d suddenly turn, and I had to scramble for a few moments to catch up.

There were no words between us save for the occasional click or whistle, and those were made at frequencies most animals didn’t bother with. Dad would rumble out with a muted avalanche and I’d call back with silently shattering glass. Every so often, I’d glance back towards camp, but I could never afford to do so for long with the speed we darted through the shadows at. As quiet as we were, the sounds of the forest pressed down on us as we continued our journey to Luna knew where.

Will-o-wisps danced through the air, their mad giggles and whispers drifting in from all sides. Below us, I saw things stalking about in the shadows—hidden and unclear—and I shivered at the occasional growl or snarl, wondering if we’d been noticed. Once, Dad had dived for cover at the loud and terrible shriek of something in the air above us, and we’d had to wait a few minutes until the shadows of two enormous dire hooters passed over us.

I was worried we’d end up going so far that I’d lose sight of camp, but Dad finally descended without warning, taking us into a hidden burrow between some roots. As we landed, I looked to him and opened my mouth, only to hastily close it as he shook his head and held up a hoof. With one last look outside, he shoved a nearby boulder into the entrance to block it, and finally nodded that it was safe to talk.

“Where are we?” I took a hesitant step forward to see a collection of pools in the room.

“A place many would fear to tread.” Dad nudged me forward.

“That isn’t helpful!” I tried to backpedal and met a solid wall of Dad.

“I promise it’s safe as long as you stick to looking in the pools that have those piles of rocks near them.”

“What happens if I look in the other pools?”

“I make sure you look away before it’s too late.”

“And if you don’t?”

“Then I’d have another reason to come here.”

“Oh….” I looked out at the pools again, and crept up to one to look at the pile of stones. “So these are—”

“Yes.” Dad’s voice cracked as he looked over all the ponds. “Please don’t look in the empty ones. I don’t want to have to add another mound to this place.”

If I squinted at the centermost rock, I could read the words carved into the stone. “Silver Fang….” My ears wilted. “‘His smile was as bright as the moon, lighting up the lives of all he touched. May the Nightmother grant him peace and pleasant dreams as he begins his final slumber.’”

Peeking into the pool, I found it was crystal clear and still as stone. Even in the shadows, a reflection waited for me, but the pony I saw wasn’t myself.

There was a colt no older than four staring back at me.

Blinking at me blearily, he gave a tiny adorable yawn, all curled up like a cat. His little fangs had just come in and were needle sharp, but the sight only sent a pang through my heart.

“Did he even get the chance to go on his first hunt?” I held out my hoof, getting it as close as I dared to the water’s edge.

“Papa was gonna take me later….”

I jumped as the colt spoke, but he turned his back to me, flinging his membranous wing towards me and splashing water everywhere. When the pool cleared, he looked to be sulking far off in the distance.

“Careful with what you say, Night.” Dad laid a hoof on my withers.

“Sorry….” I tried not to wilt. “Which… which one has your friend?”

“He’s over there.” Dad gestured towards the center of the burrow. “Do you want a little time first? I remember what it was like when Comet first led me here.”

“Comet?” My first few steps were slow and cautious. “Is that his name?”

“Eeyup.” Dad pulled ahead as he picked out the right pond. “Comet Blaze. He found me out in the forest when I was lost as a kid and led me here. Said these places were routinely visited by rangers, especially when anypony got lost.”

“You didn’t try to—”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Dad chuckled. “No, Night. I didn’t look. Comet warned me about the pools well before we got here. He’s such a bright little guy…. He made sure I knew he couldn’t save me if I let my curiosity get the best of me.” He bit his lip. “Some ponies… some ponies weren’t so lucky.”

“He sounds like a good friend.”

“He is. I really wish I could visit him here more often, but between my job and Morning and you…” Dad shook his head as he reached his goal, looking into the pond before him and smiling. “Hey, Comet! You awake? I brought a friend to meet you.”

“Mettle! Mettle, Mettle, Mettle, Mettle! I thought I heard you come in! Gosh, it’s been like, ages! I was starting to think you weren’t coming back!”

“It’s only been a year, Comet.”

“A year is forever when you're a foal!” There was a splash, and a head poked out of the pool. Big, round, moon-like eyes pouted up at Dad with all the force of a meteor as Comet treaded the water with his wings.

“Sorry…. You know I’d visit more often if I could.”

“It’s okay! I got to see Moony and Maria a lot this year! They felt all bad they didn’t get to see me last year.”

“Sirius?”

“Yeah! My new nephew!” There was another splash as Comet zipped out of the water to do a loop. “I’m like a super-mega uncle now!”

“A couple more generations and you’ll make it to mega-ultra-uber uncle.” Dad grinned.

“Huh?!” Comet gasped and did a spit take, spreading an impressive spray of water over the floor. “It goes that high?!”

“It never stops as long as your family keeps growing.” The grin grew. “Speaking of which, I think it’s time you finally met my daughter.”

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Really?! Where is she?! Where is she?!”

“I’m, uh… here….” I poked out from behind Dad. “Hi….”

“Hi!” He zooped down and hovered before me, holding out a sopping wet hoof that was dripping way more water than it should. “I’m Comet Burst! I’ve heard so, so much about you!”

“You have?” I held out my own hoof, but didn’t actually try to shake.

“Uh-huh! Mettle talks about you all the time when he’s here! He’s such a cool dad like that!” He puffed out his chest. “Not as cool as my dad, though! Mom says he died making sure Princess Luna knew somepony loved her, and everypony knows Princess Luna is best princess, so that makes him like, basically the best guard ever!”

I blinked. “But my dad’s the best guard ever.”

“No, my dad is!”

“No, my dad is!!”

“No, my dad is!!!”

“No, my dad is!!!! You can tell because Princess Luna keeps trying to steal him back from Princess Twilight! He’s her favorite!”

“He works for Princess who? Why would he give up working with the Princess Luna?!”

“Because he’s so darn awesome that even Princess Luna can’t stop him from doing what he wants!”

“You’re just making that up! I bet there isn’t even a Princess Twinkle Shine!”

“It’s Princess Twilight! And am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

We both scowled at each other for a few moments before breaking into giggles.

“Agree to disagree?” I held out my hoof again.

“Sure!” He tried to hoof bump me, and as his hoof went through mine I suddenly felt like I was submerged in the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean. My breath froze in my lungs and my heart skipped a beat, but as quickly as it came it was over. “Ooof! Sorry! Sometimes I forget that I’m… you know.” He waved a hoof.

“It’s—” I coughed violently, the sensation of ice and water in my lungs very fresh in my head. “—fine. Is that what it was like when you…”

“Night.” Dad frowned.

“Hey! You asked me once, too!” Comet laughed, sticking his tongue out at Dad. “It’s not that big a deal. Everypony asks that.”

“It’s disrespectful.” Dad harrumphed before cracking a small grin. “But I suppose you’re not as touchy as some of the others.”

“Hah! That’s cuz I’m like a bajillion years old by now!”

“A bajillion year old foal.” Dad let out a rumbling chuckle.

“Who wouldn’t want that? Being a foal is the best!” Comet zooped through a few more loops. “I get to have fun, and goof off, and everypony who visits brings me candy! Most of the adults here are big grumpypants, and they never get any visitors because of it!”

A sudden frown marred his face. “I’ve been here a thousand years, and my family still hasn’t forgotten me. I know I have it as good as it gets for a ghost, so what’s the point in being sad? I might as well make some ponies smile.”

“A bajillion years indeed.” Dad nodded, humming. “Have you given any more thoughts to moving on?”

“No!” Comet gave an tiny snort and indignantly stomped a hoof. “You know why I won’t, so stop asking!”

“Sorry….” Dad winced. “Have Moony and Maria been pushing it too much?”

“A little….” For the first time, Comet’s perky ears wilted.

“Well, I know you, and if you still think staying is the right thing to do, I won’t push it.” Dad held a hoof out to Comet, and the little guy flew in to nuzzle it. The contact lasted a good few seconds, but Dad didn’t even flinch.

More undeniable proof he was the toughest, coolest dad out there.

“So, umm…” I squirmed a little as I tried to find the words. “Sorry if this seems rude, but… why don’t you want to move on? If you’re actually happy and content and able to let go, don’t you think you should? The rest of your family probably misses you….”

“But I can’t go just to make myself happy! I have my mission to think of!” Comet puffed out his chest and looked into the distance—a certain fire in his eyes that not even the water logging him down could quench.

“Your mission?” I blinked.

“Yuh-huh!” He pumped a hoof. “I can’t just move on when ponies still get lost sometimes! I gotta stay here if I’m gonna stop other ponies from ending up like me! I mean, without me, your dad might’ve ended up Lost too! He wouldn’t have gotten to grow up or meet your mom or get married or have you! As long as I’m here, I can help ponies just like my dad helped Luna!”

The fire in him flickered as he wilted for a second.

“As long as I’m here, nopony has to feel lost or alone or sad.”

Dad nudged me hard, and gestured to Comet, but I hardly needed him to give me a hint.

“That sounds like a pretty big duty to take on all by yourself.” I smiled. “I bet your dad would be proud.”

“You think so?!” Comet pranced in circles. “Everypony always says that, but sometimes I think they say it just to get me to move on.” He squinted at me. “Wait a second…. That’s not why you’re saying that, is it?”

“No!” I shook my head furiously. “I think it’s really amazing that you’re so dedicated to staying behind!” I kicked the ground. “It must get kinda lonely, though…. Are any of the other Lost like you?”

“Not really,” he huffed. “There were a few over the years, but they never stick around for more than a century or two.” Blowing a raspberry, he pouted and crossed his hooves before him. “Pansies.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I shivered a little at the thought of bumping hooves with him again, but held my hoof out anyways. “I kind of know what that’s like, though. Me and my friends are all in the Junior Guard, but I get the feeling they only stick with it to make me happy. They don’t actually want to serve like I do.”

“It sucks, doesn’t it?!” He flew down to hoof bump me again, and I used all my training not to shiver. “That’s why your dad’s so cool. He gets it. So do you! Like, Moony and Maria are nice, but nopony in my family has been a guard in forever.” He sighed. “I wish they could get why I stay….”

“Sometimes family doesn’t have to understand.” Dad rumbled.

“I know, I know!” Comet pouted. “I figured that out like half a bajillion years ago. Doesn’t stop it from being annoying.”

“Well… I can’t promise to help you forever like you want.” I squirmed knowing Dad was probably giving me a look for that. “But I can promise to be your friend for as long as I can….”

“Really?” His already perky ears perked so much they seemed to pop. “It’d mean a lot if you came with Mettle every year. Most ponies I save don’t ever want to come back, but it’s like, the best thing ever when they do.” He grinned. “Stuff like that always makes my mission worth it.”

I looked at Dad, and he nodded.

“I’d love to.” I smiled.

“Screeheeheeheeheeheehee!” Comet zooped through a few more loops before tackling me with a full on hug. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

“Screeeeep!” Staying still for a hoof bump was one thing, but a full on hug had me jumping right out of him.

“Hah! What are you? Afraid of a little water? Because I got news for you!” He leaned in and poked a hoof through my chest. “Tag you’re it!”

“Wha— Hey!” I scowled, trying to shake myself dry of water that wasn’t even there.

He wanted to play? Then we’d play.

“It. Is. On!” I darted after him only to swerve as he retreated into the wall for safety. “Bwuh?! No fair!”

The only answer was an otherworldly giggling from all sides.

“I thought you had honor!”

“I do: when it matters!” He poked out of the other side of the burrow to stick his tongue out at me. “After the first few centuries, you learn you don’t need it all the time.”

“Heresy!” I charged, but he quickly ducked back in the walls.

“Hey! I’m not wrong! Your Dad’s told me stories about when he was Princess Luna’s personal guard!”

“Oh, yeah! Well…” I really had no good response to that.

“Aww, come on! Your dad put up a way better game than this when we first met.” He poked out of his pool to pout at me. “But fine…. I guess I can stay out of the walls.”

“And the pools, and the roots, and me.” Dad chuckled. “Don’t even try it, Comet.” I know all your tricks.”

“Aww… way to suck the fun out of it!” Comet turned an even bigger pout on Dad. “That just makes it normal tag!”

“Normal tag is all we can play, sport!” Dad laughed. “Besides, you know you still have fun with it.”

“Fine.” Comet splashed me with water as he burst from his pond again. “But I better get twice as much candy when you leave! You always played the hard way.”

“Maybe next year we can teach her how.” Dad reached into his saddle bags to toss some mango salt water taffy into Comet’s pool. “Morning should hopefully be with us then, provided we can get a foalsitter for the twins.”

“Cool! She always did— Foalsitter?! Twins?!” Comet pointed a very accusatory hoof. “Mettle!”

“Yeah! I’m gonna be a sister!” Between his flabbergasted face, and the questioning looks he was shooting Dad, I saw my chance and took it. “Also, tag you’re it!”

“Hey! No fair!”

“So? Who was it who went into the walls?”

“That’s different!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yuh-huh!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yuh-huh!”

As I darted about to avoid Comet’s pursuit, Dad settled to the ground and watched on, roaring with laughter all the while.

“That’s my girl! You giggle at that ghostie!”
> The Good, the Bat, and the Ugly
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I approached the enemy’s fortress with well-earned hesitation. Every attempt I’d made to entreat the commander so far had ended in nothing but disappointment and a hasty retreat, yet there was no other option for me and my army. The only way forward was through the pass before us, and this foe was not an enemy we could afford to fight in glorious and honorable combat. Indeed, our only hope was that I could strike a deal with the threat of our siege master’s newest secret weapon.

And so I crept up to the fortress of knowledge to bravely await their general’s attention.

Or rather, I inched up to Miss Cheerilee’s desk to give her the extra juicy apple Apple Bloom had given me.

It only took her a couple seconds to notice me squirming in front of her—even if it felt like hours—and when she did, she looked down at me with a smile. A smile. Not a scowl. No matter what my imagination said. It was soothing to all the foul-tasting butterflies in my stomach, letting me find enough courage in my impossibly daunting mission to continue.

“Why, hello there, Nightingale.” Miss Cheerilee set down the papers she was grading. “Is there something I can do for you?”

“Hi, Miss Cheerilee….” Casting my gaze back to the five other crusaders by the door, I scuffed at the floor. “I, umm… I hate to bother you again, but my friends and I came up with some more ideas for the talent show.”

“Oh….” Miss Cheerilee bit her lip and followed my gaze with her own. “They wouldn’t happen to a bit more practical, would they?”

“Scoots was hoping we could bear-wrestle….”

“So that’s a no, then,” Miss Cheerilee sighed. “Can’t you girls decide on something more tame?”

“Well… I wanted to do a demonstration on quarterstaff fighting…. Sergeant Smiles says I’m getting really good at it.”

“No fighting.” Miss Cheerilee instantly shook her head. “Even in controlled conditions, I don’t want to risk anypony being hurt.”

“But— But—” But it was completely safe! “There doesn’t need to be any fighting! We could just go through our forms and practice!”

There! A compromise! Surely she’d agree now! It was the adult thing to do.

“I’m sorry, Night, but I can’t allow that either.”

What?! Betrayal! That’s not how compromises work!

“But why?” I whined, bringing out the big guns—fully loaded with massive nine millimeter tears in the corners of my eyes. “It isn’t dangerous at all!”

“I’m sorry.” Miss Cheerilee bit her lip and looked away. “I wish I could say yes, but the school board was very clear after last year when Snips and Snails attempted knife throwing. I can’t even let Drop Kick do his usual karate demonstration, and he’s been doing that every year since he got his cutie mark.”

“Does that mean hoof-to-hoof sparring is banned too?”

“Unfortunately.” Cheerilee smiled wistfully. “Maybe next year I’ll be able to talk the board down to allowing certain ponies special permission. I’ve already been talking with Drop Kick’s mentor about safety precautions we can take. If you want, I can talk to whoever is in charge of the Junior Guard division for you and the crusaders.”

“Really?!” I immediately perked up. “Great! I’ll go tell the girls we’re doing my idea. Our sergeant’s name is Sergeant Smiles, and—”

“And it will still need to wait for next year.” Cheerilee tapped her hoof on the desk. “I’m going to need a lot of time to write up a proposal for the school board. Please keep this year to something tame.” She chuckled. “Music, maybe. Three of your friends certainly have experience with that.”

“Yes, Miss Cheerilee.” My wingtips fell to touch the floor like a wilted moonflower.

Turning to walk back towards the girls, I tried to smile at them. Seeing how they stopped hopping in place to wilt too, though, I clearly failed to be the inspiring platoon commander I was meant to be.

“Aww… no dice, huh?” Apple Bloom was the first to step forward. “It’s alright, Night. I guess we’ll just have to think up a Plan Q.”

“But we were just on Plan D. What happened to all the other plans?”

“Scootaloo got ahold of them.” Sweetie giggled.

“Hey!” Scoots puffed out her chest and flared her wings. “It’s not like the stuff you and Bloom were planning was any better!”

“Girls…” I sighed, shaking my head as their bickering dissolved into rough-housing. “Fighting is out, remember?” I paced back and forth as they stopped and glanced at me. “We only have a few days left to think of something.”

“Aww, come on, Night! Everything will work out!” Apple Bloom smiled from the middle of the headlock Scootaloo had on her.

“Yeah!” Sweetie chirped as she scrabbled to drag Scoots off of Apple Bloom. “We’re good at plenty of things! Finding something to do should be a cinch!”

“So you say, but here we are.” Silver rolled her eyes.

“I still don’t get why you don’t want to do a group song.” Diamond huffed, crossing her hooves in front of her. “You’ve done it before.”

“Besides, did you hear how bad it waaaaghas?!” Scootaloo squawked as she and Sweetie were flipped over by Apple Bloom.

“Girls!” I stomped a hoof, and my squad leaders instantly stopped their squabbling as they fell in line to salute. Even hidden by my glasses, my ferocious, totally-not-squinty glare cut them to the bone. “That’s better.” I nodded, turning to pace in front of the glittery, seizure-inducing poster pasted on the front wall of the school. It was, of course, for the talent show, and provided an excellent backdrop for my zeal.

“Now, I don’t want to see any more bat fights between you girls! We have a mission, and we only have so much time to complete it!” I stomped my hoof and turned to face them all. “You all are gonna get your fuzzy flanks home, and you’re gonna brainstorm up the greatest showstoppers since the Shadowbolts learned how to eclipse the sun!

“The who?” Scoots buzzed her wings.

“The Shadowbolts!” I couldn’t help but squee.

“Seriously, the who?”

“Scootaloo!”

“What?!” She squawked as I turned a full force pout on her. “I don’t pay attention to any flight teams besides the Wonderbolts!”

“But the Shadowbolts are so much better! They—” I shook my head and quelled my rustling wings. “Whatever. It’s not important.” Rolling my shoulders, I resumed my pacing. “The point is, we’re all some of the best fillies this town has to offer, and I will eat my pickelhaube if one of us doesn’t win the talent contest. Are we going to let a few rules hold us back?!”

“No!”

“Are we going to admit defeat just because the going got tough?!”

“No!”

“Then let’s get going and win that talent show!”

“Yeah!”

There was the thunder of little hooves as the girls raced off to complete my orders, and it set a warm, fuzzy fire burning in my heart. I spent a few moments watching them galavant off bravely into the unknown, a smile on my face, confident that they would find the weapons they needed for the battle ahead. After they had all cantered beyond the horizon, I stretched my wings and gave them a few experimental flaps to get the blood pumping before I launched myself into the air to head for home.

It was time I dug out my bat cave, and thought of a way to win this war.





The sweet shade of my safe place was absolute as I hung within it. It was like I was floating in darkness as I kept my breathing measured and calm, and my wings dangled loosely at my side—unneeded and relaxed. My mind drifted through the sea of sweet and murky shadows to find a solution to my problem, teasing at various ideas until I could find one that was right.

I was so close. I could feel the answer lurking just out of sight. If I could only flap my wings and pounce at it, I’d—

“Night! Dinner’s ready!” The tiniest bit of light invaded my sanctum as Mom opened the door to my room and brought in a candle. Its light flickered beneath the door to my hidey hole. “What on Equis? Nightingale Mooncrest, you come out here this instant and clean the mess you made! You know better than to leave your greaves lying on the floor where somepony could step on them! You could cut somepony like that!”

Whoops….

“Sorry, Mom….” I dropped to the floor of my closet and shuffled out and into my room to start picking up the toys and clothes I’d hastily thrown on my bed in an effort to open my bat cave. “I, uh… I swore they hit the bed like everything else. They must’ve fallen off.”

Mom scowled at me a few more seconds before her face melted into a smile. “Well, I suppose you were distracted. You only make a mess like this when you’ve got something big on your mind.”

“I still don’t know what I should do at the talent show.” I squirmed and looked away from Mom.

It… it wasn’t really that big a deal.

Except when it was.

To me.

For reasons.

“Oh?” Soft feathers filled my vision as Mom set down her candle to pull me into a hug. “And what about the talent show has you worried?”

“All of my good ideas were shot down.” I squeezed Mom tight and nuzzled deep into her chest. “I can’t do anything related to the Guard…. And it’s all because of some stupid mistake somepony else made last year!”

“You know there’s more to life than the Guard, Night.” Mom rested her head atop mine. “I know for a fact that you’re talented in all sorts of things, especially after everything you’ve done with your friends. Is it really so hard to pick one of those?”

I wriggled from within the hug. “It doesn’t feel right just picking something I’m kinda good at. I want to do something great. Something amazing. Something I can actually call my talent.” Glancing at my cutie mark, I sighed. “I know that’s not really an option, but there has to be something I can do that’s close enough.”

Mom ran a hoof through my mane, humming a little tune in my ear as she thought.

“You could always try singing.”

Both of us blinked and turned to find Dad standing in the doorway, watching us.

“You have such a beautiful voice.”

“No, I don’t.” I shrunk into Mom’s hug a little more. “I’m only good at the really high stuff. If I sing that, nopony but you is going to hear me, and then everypony will think I’m weird….”

“You had no problem singing in front of your friends on Einbruch der Dunkelheit.”

“That was different.” My ears splayed back against my head. “Also… Diamond thought it was scary….”

“You can’t let what other ponies think define you, sport.” Dad snorted. “If they think it’s weird or scary, then you show them otherwise.”

“Your father’s right, sweetie.” Mom nuzzled me and gave me a squeeze.

“And if showing them doesn’t work, then you deck them in the schnoze.”

“Tempered.” Mom scowled.

“I mean, you give them a swirly.”

“Tempered!” And now it was The Look.

“Okay, okay! Sometimes you need to settle with just stuffing ponies in lockers.”

“Tempered!” Mom rose to thwap Dad with a wing, but he was already off down the hall, roaring with laughter. “Get back here and give some actual advice, you loon under moon!”

“It was actual advice!”

“No, it wasn’t, you lunk! Now get back here and tell your daughter she has to love and tolerate the sh— horseapples out of anypony that thinks she’s weird!”

“Lalala! I can’t hear you with all this tasty cricketloaf in my mouth!” There were several exaggerated seconds of chewing from the dining room. “Mhmmhmm! This is so good!”

Mom rolled her eyes and I giggled.

“Come on, Night. We can all brainstorm more ideas over dinner.”





“Oh Luna. Oh Luna! Oh sweet, merciful Luna!” Peeking out from the stage’s curtains, I saw way more ponies than I was expecting. “I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m just going to look stupid and weird in front of everypony, and— Oh my gosh, is that Princess Twilight?!”

“Night, calm down.” Diamond set a hoof on my withers. “Trust me, you’ll do fine.”

“How can you say that? You hate my singing!” I shrunk away from her touch.

“Oh, Night.” Diamond swept me into a hug despite my best efforts to cringe away. “I don’t hate your singing. It’s just that…” She bit her lip. “…I feel it, you know? Even if I can’t hear it, I can feel all the sad stuff you put in your songs. Can you name one happy song you practiced with over the last few days?”

“Most thestral songs aren’t really happy….” I finally managed to squirm away. “At least, not like you’re thinking. We don’t do the sorts of silly and spontaneous songs most day dwellers love.”

“Well, maybe you should try broadening your horizons, then,” Diamond sighed. “I don’t like seeing you so sad, and you’re always sad when you sing.”

“Maybe…” I murmured, looking to the floor.

“Alright, class, it’s showtime! Is everypony ready?” Miss Cheerilee stepped onto center stage, only the curtains separating her from the judgement of the crowd.

“Yeah!” Most of the school was loud and ecstatic, although there were a few ponies squirming like me.

“Then, let’s get this show on the road!” Miss Cheerilee turned her microphone on and gestured to Backdrop to raise the curtains. “Hello, everypony!” Her voice blared out of the speakers to some scattered applause from the audience. “We have a fantastic bunch of ponies participating this year, and I just know you’ll love seeing all your fillies and colts being the best they can be.”

There was more applause and a bit of stomping and cheers. I could hear Dad bellowing out a bunch of encouragement from the the audience, and it made me blush blacker than Nightmare Moon. Thankfully, he was saying it all through clicks and stuff, so nopony else could actually hear how embarrassing he was being.

“Oof!”

And that sounded like Mom slugging Dad, so she must’ve noticed him flapping his gums.

Miss Cheerilee just waited with a smile until everypony settled down.

“And so, without further ado, I give you the Ponyville School Talent Show! Give it up for your first act of the night, Snails!”

Several wagons rolled onto the stage at a snail’s pace, the colt pulling them somehow trundling at an even slower speed as he stopped to blink and stare out at the audience. The scattered applause died as he observed them—an awkward cough or two coming from the ponies who had clapped loudest—and it was only when he had everypony’s silent, undivided attention that Snails pulled a freshly packed deck of cards from the wagon.

“Behold!” With speed so slow a glacier would cry, he opened the pack and pulled two cards out. Hardly daring to breath, he lowered them onto the stage, and balanced one on the other to form a triangle. He glared at the cards momentarily—daring them to move—before nodding, and he repeated the process again and again at an even slower pace until the deck was gone.

Then he pulled another deck from the wagon.

And another.

And another.

And so on.

Fifteen minutes later, the audience groaned as he finished his latest deck without even a quiver running through his little house of cards. There were wagons worth of cards up there with Snails, and nopony wanted to wait for that.

“Miss Cheerilee!” Diamond hissed, pulling several more wagons out from the props room. “He’s got more in case he finishes that! We need to move on or this is going to be a one pony show!”

“I’m not going to just force him off stage.” Miss Cheerilee bit her lip.

“Then use another stage!”

“We don’t have another stage!”

“Yes, we do!” Apple Bloom pointed to a very… flavorful… pony in the audience that was sitting near the princess. She had a long cape and pointy hat that was covered in stars and moons, and she was currently sawing several boxes filled with ponies in half with how loud she was snoring.

“I don’t know, girls….”

“Come on, Miss Cheerilee! Trixie isn’t that bad!” Sweetie pouted at only half force, but several nearby colts still had to avert their gaze with a blush.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo buzzed her wings. “Besides, she’s a showpony! She’ll probably say yes just so we can get the real show rolling!”

Miss Cheerilee frowned, biting the inside of her cheek. “Now, now… play nice, Scootaloo. I’m sure Snails’ house of cards will end up very, very lovely.” She glanced out to the stage where Snails was edging another card into place—his normally glazed eyes narrowed with focus and his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth.

“If he ever finishes!” Diamond huffed as Snails latest card slid slightly and he began to scrutinize his entire house for weaknesses.

“Alright, alright…” Miss Cheerilee sighed. “I’ll go see if Trixie is willing to help. Backdrop, please look after the foals while I’m gone.” She glanced around the room, full of her bored and restless students. “Actually? You go ask Trixie if we can use her wagon. I better stay here.”

The stagehoof nodded and gave her a lazy salute, heading out the door and into the audience to make his way towards the princess and her snoring guest. After he made several unsuccessful attempts to poke her awake, she was still unresponsive, and my eyes widened as the princess herself took action, rolling her eyes and lighting her horn.

With a yelp, the unicorn shot up and rubbed her rump, having the gall to glare at Princess Twilight for her… help. Her ear flicked as Backdrop talked, and her grimace turned into a smirk as she flared her cape, tossed her mane back with a laugh, and puffed her chest out with pride. Even from this distance, I managed to catch the words ‘great and powerful,’ and noticed how it made my friends roll their eyes.

Then, there was a flash and a puff of smoke as the mare ran from the park, grinning like a loon under moon.

“Are you sure we should be asking this pony for help?”

“Ehh… it could be worse.” Scootaloo shrugged. “Trust me, she’s a lot better now than compared to when she first rolled into town.”

“That doesn’t inspire confidence,” I huffed, crossing my forelegs.

I itched to say some more, but kept silent on the matter as my friends went back to chatting. They clearly knew this Trixie better than me, so who was I to judge?

Instead, I settled for watching Snails continue at a snail’s pace. Time seemed to crawl by as he laid out his cards with agonizing slowness such that even I was squirming restlessly with boredom, and I practiced standing still for the Guard.

I couldn’t help but sigh in relief when Trixie’s wagon finally rolled up beside the stage.

Then, I remembered I’d have to perform now that it was here, and the swarm of butterflies sleeping in my stomach launched into flight again. The fireworks and blinding lights that burst from the wagon as it unfolded into our second stage only made the swarm worse, having them whip up a hurricane inside me.

I was so glad I’d listened to Dad when he said I should wear my glasses….

“Next!” Miss Cheerilee’s voice rang out through the audience as she walked out on our newest stage. “Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie!”

Snails blinked after a few moments, looking up from his latest card to notice the new stage before shrugging and returning to his work. The two fillies whose act was up roller skated onto the stage, and Miss Cheerilee went off to talk to the students who’d be going next.

I was… almost last. At least, I think I was? I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not…. There was this little, itty-bitty piece of me that was saying it’d be better to just get it over with like I was ripping off a bandaid.

Either way, though, I had time before I was up. I might as well get a few last bits of practice in to try and silence those stupid butterflies.





“And now we have a hometown favorite, Apple Bloom!”

I glanced up from my work to see Bloom walking to the center of Trixie’s stage. Was it really already halfway over?

“Howdy, y’all!” Apple Bloom waved to the crowd as they stomped and cheered for her. “I ain’t got much reason to be up here this year. I picked something a mite more homey for my act.” She hopped off the stage and trotted around the back of our other stage—Snails still doing Snails things—and pulled a blanketed cart around the corner.

“I baked y’all your intermission snacks this year!” There were cheers as Apple Bloom set up shop in front of the stage. “And since they’re part of the show, they’re completely free of charge!”

“They’re what?!” There was the agonizing cry of an Apple getting jack as the rest of the audience roared even louder.

“Don’t worry none, sis!” Apple Bloom had to stand on top of the cart to see her sister over the stampede of ponies trying to get in line. “I already worked out a payment plan with Granny!”

“Bribery.” Scoots muttered, glaring murder at Apple Bloom as a pony literally ate their fritter out of her hoof as she tried to give it to them. “She’s going to win because she bribed everypony.”

“The audience aren’t the ones in charge of judging, featherbrain.” Diamond Tiara huffed, pointing to the few ponies left in their seats. “That would be Princess Twilight, and I think she’s smart enough to not let a little food get in the way of seeing the brilliance that is me and Silver.”

I gave a snort of laughter and Diamond blanched.

“O-or you, Night! You have a good chance of winning too!”

“Nice save.” I kept on giggling.

“Hey! What about me?!” Scoots buzzed her wings.

Diamond shrugged, waving her off. “Silver and I have a bet going on just how long it will take you to get disqualified.”

“Hey!”

“What?! Don’t tell me you actually picked something in line with the school board’s rules!”

“I’m in the show, aren’t I?!”

“For now.” Diamond smirked. “But Silver and I know you too well for your own good.”

“Hmmmf!” Scoots scowled and crossed her forelegs.

“Scootaloo! You’re up in ten!” Backdrop called from the background.

“Break a leg.” Silver smiled wryly as we waved Scoots off. “I get paid triple if you do.”

“Oh, girls….” I sighed.

“I hope you enjoyed intermission everypony, but it’s time for some stunts from our own Scootaloo!”

Scoots wings buzzed fiercely as she rocketed onto the stage, turning sharply at the last second to stop before the edge. “Hey, everypony, you ready for some awesome stunts!”

“Yeah!” The crowd stomped their hooves.

Scoots shot a hoof up. “I’m not talking radical stunts or cool stunts! I’m talking fully-fledged, one hundred and twenty percent awesome, Rainbow Dash approved stunts!”

“Yeah!” The approval just got louder.

“Without a helmet!”

“No!” The reaction from every parent in the crowd was instant, but it didn’t dampen their applause.

“Killjoys,” Scootaloo muttered before turning to gesture to the ramp, hoop, and pool—complete with circling fin—that was setup behind her. “You all ready to see me jump the shark!”

“No!”

“Aww, come on! It’s totally safe!” Scootaloo grabbed the shark fin as it passed her and pulled it up to reveal a scowling Rumble, face as black as his mane.

“Argh! Hey! Scoots! You said nopony had to know it was me!” He tried to swat her away.

“Not my fault if ponies want to make sure you don’t eat little fillies.” Scootaloo shrugged. “Besides—” She smirked. “—you’re just so cute when you blush!” She pecked him on the cheek, and the crowd went absolutely bonkers—d’awwing and whistling and stomping.

“Wha— Huh— Whuh?!” Rumble froze for a moment before the black dominating his face suddenly spread to the rest of his body. He dived back down with an eep and a splash, and the crowd laughed up a storm while Scootaloo did a victory lap around the pool.

Lucky, yucky, icky colts.

“She’s certainly a showmare, I’ll give her that.” Diamond rolled her eyes. “Silver, what’s the clock at?!”

“You’re good.” Silver glanced away from her vigil on the clock tower in the distance. “For now.”

“Come on. Come on. Come on!” Diamond stomped a hoof.

Scoots finally came to a stop before the ramp, and turned to the cheering crowd. “Oh, yeah! I got one more thing for you!” She pulled out a remote and flicked a switch, the metal hoop suddenly erupting in flames as little slits on it opened up to release burning oil.

“The hoop is on fire!” With a buzz of her wings, Scootaloo was off and up the ramp before Silver’s hoof could meet her face.

Her startup was perfect; her execution was flawless.

Scootaloo easily launched herself through the loop without even singeing a feather. She cleared the jump despite a sparkly-eyed shark sticking up his head in the middle of the tank to watch her rise like a phoenix above him, and she was so cheeky, so confident, so awesome, that she flipped over to flick Rumble’s snoot with her tail as she passed him.

Rumble tumbled back into the pool in shock, bubbles and a trail of iron-colored blood rising up from where he sank to the bottom. It took him a few seconds to surface, a little blood trickling down his face, the only casualty to Scoots death-defyingly insane stunt.

Of course, the adults were not as amazed as the rest of us.

“Disqualified!” Miss Cheerilee’s judgement was swift and harsh. “You told me there wouldn’t be anything dangerous when I said yes!”

“I told you there would be no shark.” Scootaloo scowled defiantly between our teacher and the outraged audience. “I thought the fire was obvious. What kind of hoop jump doesn’t have fire?”

“I— You— Rules—” Miss Cheerilee sputtered before tossing up her hooves and going to make sure the next act was ready. “Disqualified! Again! And stay after school on Monday so we can talk about just how many weeks of detention you’ll be getting!”

I flinched at the D-word. Miss Cheerilee almost never gave that out.

“Aha! I called it right down to the second!” Diamond crowed triumphantly from behind me, the tinkle of bits suggesting a rather large pay off.

“At least she didn’t get set on fire,” Silver grumbled. “I can’t believe that bet almost paid off.”

“Hush, you.” Diamond giggled. “You know I’m just gonna spend it on spoiling you and the girls at Sugarcube Corner.”

“Yeah, and I was gonna spend it taking you all to the spa.”

“I’ll do that too, then. It’s not like Daddy minds when I ask for money to do that with you girls. He says it’s good practice for making business connections.”

“Of course, he does,” Silver sighed.

“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, you’re up!”

“Already?” Diamond blinked. “I thought somepony was between us and Scootaloo.”

“Rumble was probably disqualified because of Scootaloo.” Silver adjusted her glasses.

“Or he quit.” Diamond smirked. “It’d be just like him to do that so he could go comfort his little bundle of feathers in time out.”

“Eww….” I scrunched my face.

“Diamond and Silver, where are you?! You’re supposed to be on stage right now!”

“Watch and learn, Night.” Diamond sniffed, flicking her tail side-to-side as she and Silver sauntered out of the hall in their tutus. “One of us is going to win tonight, and you’re going to need to bring your best to beat me!”

“And me.” Silver droned, rolling her eyes as she passed me. “Celestia forgive, if you should ever forget me.”

Prancing onto the stage, they began their ballet routine, and my butterflies surged at just how hypnotic and beautiful it was. Diamond glittered in the stagelights as she leapt and spun and arched—bending in all sorts of directions I never knew ponies could willingly go. It wasn’t until halfway through that I noticed she was even incorporating moves we learned in the Junior Guard—things that I practiced with her, things I helped teach her.

I’d never realized my training could be used like that, and it left a different sort of warm and fuzzy feeling in me.

“I can do this.” I smiled giddily as Diamond jumped to execute a flying kick that transformed into a twirling spin. “I can do this!”

“What? Did you think you couldn’t?”

I turned to find that Sweetie Belle had come up behind me to also watch Diamond and Silver.

“I, uh… maybe?” Although the grain of the stage floor called to me, I forced my gaze back over to Diamond and Silver.

“You have a great voice. You know that, right?”

There was an audible pout waiting to pounce on me in Sweetie’s voice. If I looked back, I’d surely be doomed.

“How are you and the others so sure of that when you can’t even hear it?” I rustled my wings.

“We can feel it.” Sweetie set a hoof on my withers. “And if that isn’t enough for you, I took a recording of a couple songs you sang with this spell Twilight showed me a while back.”

A couple of sheets of music paper were levitated before me, but I only spared them a passing glance with Diamond and Silver’s finale approaching.

There was a shuffling sound from Sweetie behind me. “It, uh… writes out any music it hears with pitch perfect accuracy, so I got to see just what you were singing. From one singer to another, you have to believe me when I say you’re really good! I even tried singing a few of them myself—you know, in a key I could actually hear—and it made my mom and dad cry they were so moved!”

Diamond and Silver finished with this massive, swirling spectacle that made it seem as if they were floating across the stage without ever landing on one hoof. I finally glanced back at Sweetie to see her brow was all scrunched and wriggly as she frowned at me with the tiniest bit of pout.

“That could have just been you, you know.” I eyed her cutie mark.

“Nope!” she squeaked, shaking her head vigorously. “I copied you note for note, and if you won’t believe me, then I’m gonna prove to you that you can do this!”

“I already know I can do this.” I looked back at Diamond as she soaked in her applause. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“Yes, I do!” Sweetie huffed, crossing her forelegs and puffing her cheeks out. “Go on!” She shoved the music sheets in my face again. “Pick a song you aren’t doing, and I’ll show you just how good you are!”

“Uh…” I squirmed. “Shouldn’t you be doing a song that shows everypony your talents?”

“It took a lot of work to get these recordings and figure out the best key I could sing them on.” Sweetie smiled. “Trust me, Twilight will see just how much talent it takes to do this.”

“I— I don’t know….” I ran my hoof over a knot in the wood.

“Would you feel better about it if we sang together? I’m sure Miss Cheerilee won’t mind.”

“No— I mean, maybe— I mean, yes?” I glanced back up. “It’s just… supposed to be sung like I sing it….”

“Then come on out and sing with me.” Sweetie held out her hoof.

“I, uh…” I glanced out at the audience.

“Sweetie Belle!” Miss Cheerilee cantered up looking a lot more frazzled than when the show began. “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! You’re up next! Are you ready?”

“…yeah, okay.” I quickly took Sweetie’s hoof before she could pull it away to answer Miss Cheerilee.

“Great!” Sweetie beamed, turning to answer our teacher. “Sorry, Miss Cheerilee! There’s been a change of plans! Can you move me to Night’s slot so we can sing something together?”

With a twang, part of Miss Cheerilee’s mane sprung loose. “Yes, yes, I can do that.” Her eye twitched. “I’ll just need to go and spend another five minutes looking for the next act.”

“Are you alright, Miss—”

“I’m fine! I’m fine! The talent shows have just been getting more and more stressful every year. It’s worth it to see you all happy, though. I’m fine.” Miss Cheerilee punctuated her last sentence with an incredibly steely grin.

“We totally need to get her something for this,” I murmured as she disappeared.

“Yeah… apples probably won’t cut it this time.” Sweetie nodded. “How about cake?”

“Apple cake?” I tilted my head. “Maybe with orange blossoms?” 

“Sounds good. I’ll talk to Apple Blo—”

“Night! Night! Night! There you are! Did you see me?! Wasn’t I fantastic?!” Diamond cantered up a sweating, panting, filthy mess, poorly disguised in a frilly tutu and makeup.

“You mean, weren’t we fantastic, right, Diamond?” Silver rolled her eyes as she trotted up at a more sedate pace.

“Yes, I saw you both.” I giggled, sweeping them both into a hug. “It was the best act of the night so far. You did great.”

I sniffed to find a rather sharp smell poking into my nose like a spear to the lungs.

“Argh, Diamond! Nightmother preserve me, you need a bath! I didn’t realize ballet gave you this much of a work out.”

“It’s not the ballet.” Silver smirked. “She was running all over the place looking for you after we were done. I told her you were probably exactly where we left you, but she didn’t listen.”

“There was plenty of time between when we finished and when the applause ended for her to move.” Diamond huffed. “I wanted to be sure.”

“Are you sure you didn’t want to run through the audience just to hear everypony telling you how great our act was?” The smirk grew.

“Silver!”

“What? We all know you love attention.”

“But— But— Fine! I liked the attention! But I was totally just looking for Night!” Diamond turned her snout up in the air. “It’s not like anypony else’s opinion really matters here! Nopony else would have noticed us using Guard training.”

I giggled. “You know my Mom and Dad probably noticed. Did you ask them?”

“Maybe….” Diamond blushed.

“Well, you did a great job. You both deserve all the attention.” A bit of heat creeped up my neck at a few of the more impressive adaptations of our training Diamond had used. “You, uh… might have to teach me a few of those moves, by the way. I’ve been looking for a few more tricks to catch Rumble by surprise.”

Diamond blinked, then smiled. “Sure! They probably won’t be of much use in a fight, though.”

“With how distracting you made them, I’m sure I can find a use for them.” I shrugged. “Mom says I got to use every advantage I can get.”

Silver snorted, biting her lip so hard I saw a trickle of blood.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” Silver snickered in a poor attempt to hold back a full on laugh. “I’m just imagining what’ll happen if you use ballet against Rumble.”

“Isn’t it great! He’ll be so embarrassed!” I grinned. “I just know he’ll hate losing to something so girly.”

“You do that, and Scoots will probably tar and feather him.” Silver held a hoof to her mouth.

“She does hate the mushy stuff.” I nodded.

“Sweet Celestia, you’re so oblivious.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind.” Silver shook her head. “You two just go ahead and do this. I’ll be bringing popcorn.”

“Was Silver always this weird?” I looked to Diamond.

“Nope.” Diamond shrugged. “She only started acting like this after you moved here. I guess you just drive her batty.” Diamond hrmmed, rubbing her chin. “Or maybe…”

“Maybe?” Silver prompted, waving her hoof in a little circle.

“Maybe she has a crush on you!” Diamond’s eyes sparkled like her namesake, while her grin grew to enormous proportions. “Silver! Why didn’t you tell me you liked fillies as much as colts?! That gives us so much more gossip to talk about!”

Silver stared at us for a minute or so, wordlessly trying to mouth something.

“I’m done!” She finally threw up her hooves. “You got me! I’m madly in love with Nightingale, and I would like nothing more than for her to sweep me off my hooves and fly me away to the moon!”

“Umm…” I shrunk away slightly, looking to Diamond for help.

“Geeze, Silver, there’s no reason to be so sarcastic.” Diamond pouted. “You have been acting weirdly even since Night moved here, though. Can you blame me for thinking that?”

Oh, thank Luna, that was sarcasm.

“We need to have a talk.” Silver grabbed Diamond by the ear and started pulling her away.

“Do you want—” I started to follow.

“Alone.” Silver gave me that look Mom gave Dad whenever he was being an extra special kind of stupid.

“Okay….” I couldn’t help but flinch back. “I should probably practice a little with Sweetie Belle anyways. We, uh, decided to sing together.”

“I’ll make sure Diamond is there to watch it,” Silver groused as she led Diamond out the back. “Break a leg, you two.”

“What the hay was that about?” I shuffled from hoof to hoof, looking between Sweetie and the door.

“Don’t ask me. I Pinkie Promised I’d stay out of it.”

“A demon’s promise?” My face scrunched up. “Is there something I should know about? Come on, Sweetie. I’m your friend.”

“If you can’t figure it out on your own, then it’s not important enough for me to tell you.” Sweetie squirmed.

“That sounds like something my mom would say.” I snorted.

“Uhh… sure! Let’s go with that!”

“You’re really bad at lying, you know that?” My scrunch turned into a squint.

“And you’re just awful at practicing.”

I rolled my eyes. “Alright, alright. I get it. You can’t tell me or Pinkie will do Pinkie things. What even happens when you break those?”

“You don’t wanna know.” Sweetie shivered before picking up her discarded music sheets to hide behind them. “Now, which song do you want to do?”

Looking over her shoulder as she browsed through all her pages, I pointed to the song I’d been planning to do. “That one.”

“That one?” Sweetie squinted at the sheet, frowning a little. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” I nodded. “It’s not the best song to sing, but it’s one of my favorites. Dad used to sing it to me when I, uh… when I had trouble sleeping.”

“Well, if that’s how you feel, I’m game.” Sweetie shrugged. “These are all your songs after all.”





“And for our final act of the night, we have a bit of a last minute adjustment!” Miss Cheerilee had had to spend more than a minute straightening her mane before going on stage this time. “Sweetie Belle and Nightingale have decided that rather than competing they would like to sing you a song together!”

As everypony’s applause rang out, Sweetie and I poked our way out and onto the stage. She was all smiles and waves for the audience. I was… more subdued—simply settling for walking onto the stage and giving a bow. The lyrics to the song were still swimming through my head, helping to put me in the proper mood.

As confident as I was, though, my stomach butterflies were swirling about again. There were so many ponies, and I wanted this to be perfect—even if it couldn’t be.

“You ready?” Sweetie whispered from the side of her mouth.

“As I’ll ever be,” I sighed, bracing to just take the plunge as quickly as possible.

Sweetie motioned for the crowd to quiet down, and then together we sucked in a breath and began.

“In stiller nacht~ Zur halben wacht~ Ein stimm begunnt zu klagen~ Der nächtge wind~ Hat süß und lind~ Zu mir den klang getragen~”

The crowd was dead silent now. Staring. Watching. Judging. I couldn’t help but squirm at all the eyes on me and Sweetie.

“Von herbem leid~ Und traurigkeit~ Ist mir das herz zerflossen~ Die blümelein~ Mit tränen rein~
Hab ich sie all begossen~”

There was a loud sniff followed by the avalanche that was Dad blowing a tissue. His eyes were full of liquid courage as he watched on, Mom smiling at me as she patted his back.

“Der schöne mond~ Will untergon~ Für leid nicht mehr mag scheinen~ Die sternelan~ Ihr glitzen stahn~ Mit mir sie wollen weinen~”

There were several sniffles now—as well as a few yawns from a bunch of the foals—and that brought a teeny-tiny smile to my face.

“Kein vogelsang~ Noch freudenklang~ Man höret in den lüften~ Die wilden tier~ Traur'n auch mit mir~ In felsen und in klüften~”

The park itself was silent now. There wasn’t so much as a hoot or a chirp.

“Wohin ich geh~ Wohin mein blick sich wend~ Stets begleit' von meinen sorgen~ Ziehen mit bis an das end~ In dem herzen tief verborgen~”

I spotted Diamond in the back by her dad, crying but… smiling? She froze for a second when I saw her, before Silver elbowed her in the ribs and she meekly waved.

“Der schöne mond~ Will untergon~ Für leid nicht mehr mag scheinen~ Die sternelan~ Ihr glitzen stahn~ Mit mir sie wollen weinen~”

Closing my eyes, I lifted my face towards the moon, and waited for everypony’s final judgement. The applause was quiet, humble, and reverent—not at all like the stomping and cheers everypony else received.

It was alright, though. It was supposed to be like that.

“I’m done!”

Startled from the shattering silence, I fell on my butt with a squeak. Glancing over to the other stage, I found Snails was standing with his skinny chest puffed out. He had slowly moved from a card shack onto a card house, and from there I had apparently missed him making a mansion.

He currently had a castle, with towers and turrets, that was pretty much the size of the entire stage.

Everypony blinked at it in wonder before bursting into wild applause that completely ruined what little quiet was left. I would have pouted, but honestly, he deserved it.

The response to it was so loud and lively, I didn’t even notice Princess Twilight walking down to the stage until it was far too late for me to bow. She looked between the two stages smiling, shaking her head and muttering something to herself.

“I suppose…” She had to wait for the audience to calm down. “I suppose I don’t even need to bother with announcing who won after seeing the audience’s reaction to you.” She smiled radiantly at me, Sweetie, and Snails. “But in the interest of fairness, I’m going to go backstage to congratulate the rest of your class so I can think just a little more on my decision. As far as I’m concerned, you’re all winners tonight.”

As she walked past me and Sweetie to talk with the rest of the class, I couldn’t help but dance a silly victory dance with Sweetie across the stage.

“We won! We won! We won!” I hopped up and down like a loon under moon before freezing mid-jump and flopping to the ground. “Or Snails won….” Several bad dad words flew from my mouth before I could stop them. “Diamond is so not going to like that.”

“She’ll live.” Sweetie waved a hoof. “Besides, we got second place! Woot! First is the worst!~ Second is the best!~ Third is the one with the floofy chest!~ Sing it with me, Night!”
> Mortal Combat
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wooden wingblades clicked and clacked as I danced about the ring with Rumble. He darted in and out with lightning speed, repeatedly raining a hail of blows upon me, and I had to twist my wings hard to parry them all. I already felt the beginnings of several bruises where he had managed to sneak past my guard, but the pain wasn’t fully registering with all the adrenaline pumping through me.

“Is that all you got, Dark Horse?!” Sergeant Smiles bellowed as I batted Rumble away yet again. “Don’t tell me little Turkey Legs there is getting to you! I’ve seen breezies who hit harder than that!”

“Hey!” Scootaloo protested from the side as she shakely did wing ups.

“‘Hey,’ what, Chicken Wings?!” Sergeant Smiles snorted. “You want to add any more sets on to that?!”

Scoots gritted her teeth. “No, Ma’am….”

“What was that?!”

“Ma’am, no, Ma’am!”

“Good! Then get back to work!”

“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am!”

Rumble lunged again, but I was done waiting. My wing pushed forward, forcing him back before he could strike me. He landed on the edge of the ring, panting, and started warily circling me again. There was a limp to his right side from a particularly vicious counterattack, and his feathers were ruffled and in desperate need of preening.

We’d been going at it for about an hour now, and both of our coats glistened with sweat. I could smell him even from here as he flapped his wings to keep cool, not that my own musk was any better; I had to constantly fight not to wrinkle my nose as I kept my defensive stance up, wings flared and ready to move at all times.

Sweet Luna, I couldn’t wait to hit the showers today. Maybe I’d actually use the castle’s bath house instead of waiting until I got home….

“You pansies done waltzing, or am I gonna have to kick you into gear?!” Sergeant Smiles stomped the ground. “We don’t have all day!”

Alright, that’s it.

“Permission to play seriously, Ma’am?!” I eyed the hesitant Rumble.

“Do I look like I’m carrying twins, Dark Horse?! You don’t need my permission for that!”

Reaching over to my right foreleg, I pulled the weights on it loose to toss them at my foe’s head. He yelped and ducked faster than a mallard walking into a bar, giving me time to strip further and get new ammunition.

As I pulled the last of the weights off, I cracked my neck and stared Rumble down as he hopped from hoof to hoof. “You’ve gotten pretty good since you were promoted up from creepy stalker.”

He squeaked, backing up, and I started stalking forward.

“But now it’s time to end this.”

I leapt forward to grab him; he tried to bolt away. As he slipped through my hooves, I got a face of his sweaty, stinky wing, a feather or two yanking themselves out as I snapped my fangs. My wings gave a mighty beat, and I swerved to follow him as he took to the air—the ring all but forgotten.

“Hühnerblut!” I took a page from Aunt Mercy’s book as I pursued my prey. “Get back here and face your death with dignity!”

He squawked and strained his wings harder.

“I can go all night, Hühnerblut! Running is pointless!”

“Go get her, Rumble! You can take her!” Scoot’s voice trailed up from below.

“I will hunt you down and gut you like a fish!” My bellow was a bit too squeaky.

“There are worse things than gutted fish if you don’t stop running, Turkey Legs!” Sergeant Smiles tail cracked like a whip.

“Like what?!” Rumble eeped, making the horrible mistake of looking back. It let me gain a length or two on him.

“You ever heard of sushi?” I could hear the sadistic smile in the sergeant’s voice.

“No?” Rumble’s squeak was even higher this time.

Mmmm…. Sushi.

My stomach grumbled, and Rumble’s wings skipped a beat. Still, Sergeant Smiles threat did the trick, and I saw my foe’s shoulders set as he prepared to turn on me.

I braced my body in kind, and licked my lips as my stomach butterflies surged. This was the best part, and soon, I’d either be reveling in victory, or pinned to the floor.

I saw it the instant he started his attack. His wings twisted forward to bring him to a stop, and he turned my own momentum against me. With the few seconds he had left, he managed to get into a good, defensive stance as I barreled towards him, and I knew victory was mine.

Then… then, he threw me for a loop.

Instead of actually defending against my attack, he stopped flapping and dropped at the last second.

He gave up the high wind, and I passed over him. He grabbed my belly and and with one good flap, flipped me over, putting me firmly under him as we began to plummet for the ground.

It was my turn to squeak as I scrambled to fix my positioning, and I used every bit of strength to try and get on top of him. A stream of bad dad words flew from my mouth as I wailed on him with my wings and hooves, but he was a tough little soldier, even if he wasn’t as strong as me.

I quickly gave up on beating the sh— horseapples out of him to try and simply overpower his wings with mine. He was a crafty loon, though, flapping with me to send me right back over and under him again.

“Screeeeeeeeeeeee!”

With a thwump, we hit the ground, and all the air was shoved out my lungs with a wheeze.  Rolling in one last scuffle for dominance, the dirty cheater managed to pin me while I was disoriented. I squirmed for a few seconds, trying to break free, but I was at too much of a disadvantage.

“Well, well, Dark Horse! It seems you’re getting cocky.”

“Mrrrgmrff!” With one last heave, I lifted my head from the dirt, and he slammed it back down. Reluctantly tapping out, I made sure to immediately roll over and squish him for a second when he let up. I got up, wings idly tracing circles in the dirt. “No fair…. Where did you learn to do that?”

“Uhh….” Rumble’s cheeks burned black as he glanced back at Scoots and Sergeant Smiles.

“Glory Hog and I gave him and Chicken Wings some private lessons.” Sergeant Smiles chuckled.

Whuh-huh? Mom and— Betrayal!

“And that face right there is why we did it, Dark Horse. You might not need a slice of humble pie, but you sure as Tartarus don’t take anything you perceive as a failure well.”

“I’m the platoon commander. I’m not supposed to fail.” I looked down. “I’m supposed to be a role model.”

“Everypony has weaknesses soldier, even you, Dark Horse.” Sergeant Smiles shook her head.

I can iron them out if I try hard enough, though… right?

“You alright?!” Somepony nudged me, and I blinked to find Rumble and Scootaloo frowning at me.

“Yeah… I just….” I squirmed. “Good job. You really did deserve the win with that move.”

Even if it was one of the moves Mom came up with just to counter Dad when he hit puberty.

“Thanks.” Rumble grinned, his cheeks darkening. “That means a lot coming from you.”

“Oi!” Scoots thwapped him in the back of the head with a wing. “Keep it up and you won’t get to ride my scooter home tonight.”

“What?! But all I did was—“

“Alright, cadets, listen up!” Sergeant Smiles stomped a hoof, and everypony snapped to attention. “We’re just about done for the day, but I have one last announcement before you go.”

Huh? Had our sparring match gone longer than I thought? Or was it just that good?

“Next week the big wigs from Canterlot are gonna come down from up on high to give you a little inspection, so you better bring your A-game.”

What? Screeheeheeheeheeheehee!

“We’ll be showing off everything you’ve learned—marches, drills, combat, the works—so make sure you practice! Slipping up in front of the brass is like tripping on a hornet’s nest!”

And you don’t want me to worry about failing?!

Smiles nodded. “You lot are a good set of foals, though. So I know you’ll make me proud.” She nodded again. “Proud. You got that!”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am!” We all thundered, some less so than others.

“Good! Dismissed!”

Okay, then…. I took a deep breath as everypony began to scatter.

Time for some hardcore training.





“Hey, Night!” Scoots buzzed up to me on her scooter as I left the castle, Rumble wrapped around her withers. “You want to head to the movies with me and Rumble tomorrow?”

“I wish I could, but I can’t.” I almost winced from a few of my new bruises as I stretched my legs. “I gotta make sure I’m ready for the inspection next week.”

Rumble snorted, and I shot him a glare.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t give me that load of guano.”

“Well…”

“Yes?” I arched my brow.

“…let’s just say you’re plenty ready and leave it at that.” He rolled his eyes.

“I am not.” I rubbed my side. “I should have seen that you were about to use my Mom’s moves from a mile away…” I looked down. “…and I should have been able to stop you.”

Rumble gave Scoots a look and she shrugged. “Well, Night, if that’s what you want. You’re welcome to join us if you change your mind, though.”

“I’ll… keep that in mind.”

Half-laughing, half-shrieking, Rumble squeezed Scootaloo tight, a dark tinge on her cheeks, as she buzzed away with a cocky wave and a manic giggle. They blasted off down the street and into the twilight, and it left me feeling… something….

Sighing, I stood back up to look off into the distance. The sun was down, my shades were off, and my house was outlined nicely on the horizon in the sweet shade of twilight.

Making sure to keep it firmly in sight, I started with a trot that quickly turned into a canter and then finally a gallop as I sprinted all the way home. I didn’t control myself. I didn’t pace myself. I just beelined towards the finish to see if I could handle it.

And I could. I ran for a solid five minutes at full speed without even breaking a decent sweat.

“I’m gonna need something tougher, aren’t I?” Sitting on the underdeck, I sniffed my wingpits. “Maybe I should ask about borrowing the weights? I don’t even need another shower yet.”

“There you are, champ!” Dad dropped from above like silent death.

“Screeep!”

“We’ve been waiting for a while.” Dad ruffled my mane. “Where’ve you been?”

“I took my shower at the castle.” As Dad’s noogie intensified, I tried to nip him.

“Oh, but what about your favorite little squeaky bat toy?” 

“Dad!’ I grumbled and struggled away from him. “I-I stopped using that years ago!” He raised an eyebrow at me and held it there. After several long moments, I broke. 

“Fine… a few months ago.” 

He grinned and started prodding at a few of the fresh bruises, and I smacked at his hoof.  

“Easy there, sport.” Dad chuckled, patting me on the head. “Just checking how much of a beating you took after your mother’s little lesson with Rumble.”

“You knew!” That totally deserved a bite, but he was too fast—his hoof retreating with a quick boop to my nose.

“Morning… convinced me it would be better if you were surprised.” Dad sighed.

“Well, Mom was wrong,” I pouted. “Losing like that sucked. The only reason that worked was because I wasn’t expecting it.” A squeaky whine climbed the back of my throat. “And the worst part is he didn’t even do it right! His form was sloppy, and his grip wasn’t air tight. If I’d actually stayed calm and collected, then I probably could have gotten free. I mean, I’ve seen Mom use that technique on you. She taught me how to get out of it.”

“She what?” Dad’s ears instantly perked.

“Yeah! You just gotta twist a certain way and the grip will break.” I demonstrated and Dad’s jaw hit the floor. “I mean, it’d be different if you were wrestling on the ground and she was on top with the ground backing her up, but there’s nothing to brace against up in the air, so it’s really easy to overwhelm any grappler if they’re weaker than you. I could have gotten out if I hadn’t panicked.”

“Oh, I’m so saving that.” There was a rumbly growl as Dad grinned. “She’ll never see it coming.”

“Eh, she also showed me what to do when somepony breaks out of that hold, so don’t bet on it.” I shook my head. “But come on! There’s no way she taught Rumble that! If I wasn’t such a sunstroked idiot, I would have beat him like I always do! That’s the first time he beat me without the weights!” I gave a squeaky sniff. “Do you realize what that means?! I— I’m falling behind!”

I lunged forward to squeeze Dad’s foreleg, stuffing my head deep into his chest. “And our first big, yearly inspection is next week, too! I can’t afford to fall behind now! I might lose my spot as platoon commander!”

I was instantly crushed in Dad’s forelegs, his hoof running through my mane and his wings wrapped tight around me.

“Oh, Night…” Dad sighed, making my ear flick. “I told your mother she was making a mistake. ‘Competition will be good!’ she said. Competition my full, fuzzy—” He snorted a word in Thestrali I wasn’t familiar with. “—All she did was push you into overexerting yourself.”

“I’m not gonna overexert myself!” I squirmed in his embrace, but he just chuckled and booped me.

“Oh, yes, you are.” He somehow squeezed me tighter. “You’re my little filly after all, and I remember what it was like the first time I met your mother in the ring.”

“You know I’m not like that with Rumble.” I scowled. “That’s Scoots’ thing.”

“Well, you could always ask to be his second.” Dad chuckled as I blushed. “But, no, I was only talking about how your mother was the first pony to ever really beat me.” He lightly brushed one of my bigger bruises. “It might just start with a run, but it certainly won’t end there.”

“I think I know my limits.” I sniffed.

“See, you say that now, but…” Dad rested his forehead on mine to look into my eyes.

“But…” I bit my lip. “…but it sucks to lose to some sun forsaken civvy, and I— I have to beat him, Dad! I just gotta!”

“That’s my girl.” Dad booped my nose. “Now you go up and eat dinner. I’m going to go see about taking the night shift next week.”

“Huh?”

“Well, I’m not going to let you work yourself to the bone alone.”

I buried my head back in his chest, and hugged the stuffing out of him.





Fidgeting at my desk, I looked at the clock for the bajillionth time. No matter what I did, Miss Cheerilee’s words just kept going in one ear and out the other, and it was driving me absolutely batty.

“Come on. Come on. Come on!” My hind leg tapped the floor as loudly as I dared.

Glancing out the window, I looked for any sign of—

Brrrrrring!

“Finally!” I was out the door before the rest of the stampede even started.

“There you are, sport!” Dad was waiting by the gate with a grin on his face, and he was loaded with all kinds of gear. “You ready to die?”

“For the last time, I’m not gonna overwork myself.” I pouted, crossing my forehooves in front of me.

“We’ll see about that….” Dad chuckled, tossing me a juice box to chomp down on.

Schlurp!

“So what are we doing first?” I spat the box into my hooves and tossed it into the nearest garbage can for two points.

“Well, I’m just here as your moral support and pack mule, Miss I-Won’t-Overwork-Myself.” Dad waggled the tower of bags on his back. “You’re the mare leading us here.”

“Huh….” I paused to consider that. “Do you have my weights from the castle, then?”

“Do I have your weights?” Dad snorted, pulling out not just one but several sets of weights.

“Thanks.” I immediately reached out for my normal gear, but I stopped as my hoof passed over one of the heavier sets.

“Hrmmm?” Dad arched his brow.

“Shut up.” I blushed and grabbed it before he could change my mind. “I can handle them for a day.”

“Of course, you can.” He grinned, ruffling my mane. “That’s why I brought them in the first place.”

“But I thought you didn’t want me overdoing things?”

“And you won’t if you’re smart.” He pulled out the sabatons I’d gotten from Aunt Mercy. “You want these, too?”

“Screeheeheeheehee! Of course!” I dropped the weights to do a flip. “How did you convince Mom to take them out of the armory?”

“That’s for me to know and you to never, ever find out.” Dad laughed, a little blush creeping up his neck.

I squinted at him. “You didn’t infect her with any more cooties, did you?”

“No, no.” He quickly shook his head. “I just… satisfied a few of her weirder cravings.”

“Oh, eww….” My face squicked. “She wasn’t looking for peanut butter and tentacles again, was she?”

“I wish.” Rolling his eyes, Dad rubbed his neck. “Now, you want them or not?”

“I already said I did!”

“Then, don’t ask questions you don’t want answered.” He tossed me the sabatons.

I squinted at him again, but let it go as I started putting everything on. “You got any other armor for me?”

“Well, you know the Ponyville division doesn’t really have any suits yet, but one of my buddies in Canterlot runs the Canterlot Junior Guard armory.” Dad reached into his bag to pull out a helm. “It’s mostly a mix and mash of all the sets that have lost a piece or two over the years, but…”

“Oooooh!” I danced from hoof to hoof. “This is perfect! The only thing that could make it better would be—”

“A collection of all the standard royal guard weapons?”

“A collection of all the royal guard— Oh my gosh! You’re the best!” Only halfway into the armor, I lunged forward to hug him. “Best. Dad. Ever! I almost wanna skip the jog!”

“You’re planning on jogging in full armor?”

“Of course!”

Dad looked at me for a moment before sighing and ruffling my mane. “Whatever you say, sport.”

“Screeheeheeheehee!” I bounded away to finish putting on all my gear. “This is gonna be great!”





“Sweet milk of Luna, I’m dying!” I crawled to edge of the underdeck and collapsed.

“Oi!” Sweet delicious water was suddenly in front of my face. “It isn’t exactly Luna’s milk, but here.”

“Mrgmmf!” I heaved myself forward to latch onto the bottle.

“I warned you.” 

“Sh-shut up! I can keep going!” The water was like moonlight itself, and I found my strength returning.

“For now….” Dad’s grin momentarily slipped and I couldn’t help but squirm.

“Fine….” I kicked the ground. “I guess you were right…. I’ll get out of the armor…. But the weights stay!”

“Of course.” The grin was back full force.

With one last mournful glance at my sabatons, I began to pull them off. “So that was the run. What’s next? Push ups and wing ups?” I tapped my chin. “ Naw. I think I can say I got the strength and endurance part down. What I really need is to learn how to be as flexible as Mom and Aunt Mercy.” I looked at Dad. “Where did they even learn that?”

Dad coughed. “They, uh… stretched a lot back in training.”

“Oh….” I blinked. “Really, that’s it?”

“Eeeyup.”

“Huh… well, alright then.” I went to work. “You got any more of that montage music?”

“Hah!” Dad pulled his boombox out. “As if I don’t have an entire set of mixtapes from when I was a colt.” He slapped a cassette in and turned the volume up to eleven.

“And I’ll make a mare out of you!~”

“Uhhh… Dad?”

“Heheh….” Hastily switching tracks, he rubbed the back of his head. “I plead the fifth?”





Lunging forward, I thwacked Dad once more with my quarterstaff.

“Again!”

Falling back onto the butt of the staff, I spun around it to buck him in the chest.

“Again!”

“Is it—” I landed on my hind hooves and twirled into the next blow. “Is it really alright for me to hit you like this?”

“You kidding, sport? It’s great!” Dad grinned. “It lets me know everything I need to know to help you.”

“But you—” Another buck. “—aren’t even defending yourself!”

“Bah!” He waved a hoof. “I don’t need to. As long as you don’t decide to fight dirty like your mom, I’ll be fine.” He waggled his brow. “After all, I’m made of tempered metal.”

I giggled for just a moment, but it was enough to upset my form. My staff swung again—missing its intended target—and went right between Dad’s legs to cause a deep and stallionly squeak.

“Okay…. I probably deserved that as punishment.” To his credit, Dad stood tall.

“Yes, yes, you did!” I fell back giggling for a moment before stepping forward to make sure he was fine. “You alright?”

“Never better!” His grin was not encouraging. “Although, if you could go shut off the boombox, I’d be even better.”

“And I’ll make a mare out of you!~”





“Screee!” 

There was little warning to Dad’s assault from the clouds. I dodged backwards and to the left as he barrelled through some cover to the right, but it still wasn’t enough to avoid getting bear hugged.

Pompf!

We crashed into the cloud layer beneath us and rolled for a bit as we roughhoused. It should’ve taken a miracle to escape him now that he had me in his clutches, but after a couple sluggings and a few nips, he let me go without a fuss.

He’s toying with me… again…. 

For the— the— I don’t even know how many times!

“Grrrr!” With a squeaky growl, I flared my wings and stomped a hoof. “What am I doing wrong?!”

“Well, you’re fighting fire with fire for one thing.” Dad chuckled, still lying on the clouds with a grin. “I’m a fully trained guard and you’re throwing textbook techniques at me.”

“But— But— But— That’s how you and Mom taught me!”

“Aye.” Dad nodded. “But we’ve really only taught you the basics of what you need if you want to succeed, Night. There isn’t some master list of every move you’ll ever need, and even if there was, you wouldn’t want one.” He lifted a wing. “The best of the best know how to vary their techniques to suit them on the fly.”

“I know that….” Pouting, I only held back for a second or two before settling beside him.

“Oh?” His wing lowered, and I squirmed against him until I was comfortable. “Then why did you go back and to the left?”

“Well… you were coming from the right, and I knew the instant you caught me the match would be over. I needed to buy as much space as possible to avoid you.” I poked at the cloud. “Not that it did any good.”

“It didn’t do you any good because it was predictable.” Dad chuckled, pulling me in tighter. “It’s your biggest weakness. I knew there was a good chance you’d dodge like that, so I was prepared to correct my charge ahead of time. You should have sped up instead of slowing down.”

“But it’s harder to—”

Dad softly silenced me with a boop. “It is a lot more work to speed up than it is to slow down. That’s why the textbooks tell you to slow down—even when momentum is everything in an aerial fight. It’s much better to lose a little momentum slowing down and falling back than it is to pull something while straining ahead and lose everything.”

I nipped his hoof and pulled back. “Then why are you saying I should of sped up?”

“Because the textbooks don’t teach you anything about the mental side of combat.” Dad tapped the side of his head with one hoof. “You knew what I taught you. You should have known I’d expect you to move like that, and acted accordingly. You didn’t even need to speed up. Just dodging differently would have sufficed.”

My face scrunched as I looked up at him.

“Look, Night, I’ve seen you spar. You’ve got good instincts—just like your mother. Are you telling me you’ve never pulled a stunt that flew in the face of everything your mother and I taught you?”

“Well, no…” Squirming beneath his wing once more, I stared intently into the swirling cloud beneath me. “…but I only do stuff like that when I’m really desperate.”

“And that is your biggest weakness.” Dad sighed. “You’re way too textbook for your own good. You only mix things up when you feel the need to, sticking exactly to the lessons you’ve received otherwise. It’s worked for you so far because you’ve gotten a lot of lessons and are ahead of the curve, but it won’t get you anywhere when other ponies start catching up to you—which they will.”

I glowered into the cloud as I digested his words before softly mumbling a bad dad word.

“Hey!” Dad roared with laughter, slugging me in the shoulder. “It’s not the end of the world! Your mother and I can start tossing you more tactical lessons if it bothers you so much. We were kind of planning on it anyways, now that you’re getting older.”

“Thanks.” I snuggled into his side.

“Don’t mention it.” He looked to the rising moon, and I followed his gaze. “You know, we’ve been out here a lot longer than I thought.”

“Time flies when you’re hav—yearrraghh—ing fun.” My jaw cracked as I yawned, and I blinked blearily as I rested my head on the clouds.

“The rest of the day finally catching up to you?” I could feel dad’s chuckle. “Maybe we should get you home, then?”

“Mrrrgmff…. I like it up here.” I dug my way further into his chest.

“Come on, Night.” He bonked his snoot against me. “I have to get ready for my night shift in an hour or two.”

“Nrrg…. No… don’t care… here is good….” When he pulled away, I buried my head in the clouds.

“I warned you not to overdo it.” He gently picked me up.

“I didn’t overdo it….” My mumble was so quiet it gave Miss Fluttershy a run for her bits.

“Tell me that tomorrow, and I’ll believe you.” One last rumbling chuckle rocked me to sleep.





The reveille blared to life from my bedside, and I immediately hit the snooze button.

I groaned and pushed myself deeper into my bed, where even darkness feared to tread. Nine minutes later, the snooze alarm crackled; I ignored it, my muscles crying for just five more minutes. The rumble steadily increased as the charge built higher and higher until finally the flash of lighting and roll of thunder roared through the sweet shade of my room.

And I still continued to bury myself beneath the covers.

“Oof….” The soft fwump of breaking clouds and a few whispered words-that-must-not-be-said told me Mom was outside my door. “Blasted furniture! Night? Are you alright?”

My head finally rose to blink at Mom as she waddled into the room with a candle. For several moments, we had a stand off, before I nodded and tried to rise. I only made it halfway off the bed, though, before I tumbled into the floor with a thwump.

“Ow….” With a whimper, I curled into a ball. “My everything hurts….”

Mom sighed. “I told that lunk not to overdo it.”

“S’not his fault,” I murmured into the floor. “He warned me I was overdoing things, and I didn’t listen.”

“Well, he should have stopped you, then.” Mom tsked, moving to my side to support me with her wing. “I swear, if he’d just learn to say no…” She shook her head, nudging me towards the bathroom.

“But I like training with you and Dad….” I leaned into her rounded tummy and the twins kicked me for good measure.

“Oh, Night…. You know I don’t mean it like that…. I just don’t want you to—” We reached the bathroom door, and Mom paused to open it before ushering me in with one wing. “I don’t want you to overwork yourselves—both of you. Your father didn’t get a wink of sleep yesterday, you know that? He was too excited about planning things to do with you to grab even a couple hours of shut eye while you were at school.”

“Sorry….”

“It’s not your fault, Night.” Not elaborating further, Mom let me slump to my haunches, and she opened the medicine cabinet to rummage through it. Pulling out both ointment and a bottle of pills for me, she quickly started rubbing the salve into my back and neck.

There was a warmth where it touched, then a heat, and then my muscles finally melted at the feeling. Even my bruises were happy as Mom spread the blessed ointment over them, the pain and discomfort quickly overwhelmed by her hooves.

“Ahhh….” My back arched and popped in like, ten different places, while the crick from my neck sounded lethal. I slumped to the floor again for an entirely new reason, sighing as Mom moved on to my legs and wings.

“You still have to take a shower, young mare.” Mom finally pulled back to wash her hooves.

“I know….” A hot shower would be good, even if it did wash the gel off.

“And you still have to go to school.” Once her hooves were dry, she popped the bottle top and poured out a pill for me.

“I know.”

“And I want you straight home from school to recuperate. No training today!”

“I know!” I huffed, crossing my forelegs and looking at anywhere but Mom.

“Thank you.” Mom ran a hoof through my mane and kissed my forehead. “Your father will appreciate the chance to sleep.” Smiling, she put everything back into the cabinet, and nuzzled me as she went back into the hallway.

“Oh, and I’m trusting you to show a little more restraint for the rest of the week!” Her voice trailed back as I got into the shower and bucked it on. “You may well be your father’s daughter, but I carried you for eleven months just like I am the twins here! I changed diapers on you that would make the inmates of Tartarus scream, so you don’t get to die until you’ve returned the favor!”

“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am….” As the rain water washed over me, I grabbed the soap and began to scrub.

I knew better than to even risk whispering anything insubordinate. Mom was completely and absolutely right. That didn’t stop me from thinking about all the training I’d get to do after today, though. There was still a lot I wanted to do, and I had to cut a bunch of it now.

Maybe if I was lucky, Dad might still agree to a bit of hunting in the Everfree?





“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” I hopped around Dad for a good three minutes after school to work all the extra excitement off.

“Easy there, sport.” Dad’s eyes followed me up and down and up and down. “You do that in the forest, and we’ll end up deader than dead.”

“Deader than dead?” I giggled, but I nonetheless started settling down.

“Aye.” Dad nodded solemnly. “A great, big, bloated, nasty beastie will come and chew out our corpses if we get ourselves killed.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say about Mom.” I giggled more.

“Neither is making her cry.” Dad arched his brow. “Which she’ll promptly do after she murders us for dying on her, so get rid of your jitters.”

“Why do you think I was bouncing?” With one last rustle of my wings and a swish of my tail, I put my game face on—all stoic, and stoney, and guardy. “I wanted to get all of it out of me now.”

Dad snorted. “Just keep telling yourself that.”

“It’s true!”

“Well, your tail is still wagging, so…”

“Is not!” I stilled my rebellious butt before Dad could say anything else about it.

“Are you sure?” Dad gestured behind me. “Because there’s a bunch of colts on the playground that have been staring the past few minutes.”

“Whu-huh?!” I immediately froze, unsure if he was just trying to pull a fast one on me.

“Eeyup.” Dad nodded before his face suddenly turned into a scowl and he snarled over my shoulder, fangs bared. “But they aren’t going to do any more than that, are they!”

Not a joke! Not a joke!

“Screep!” Spinning around, I caught like, half the school hurriedly glancing away with a blush. Several colts ran, tails between their legs, and I edged closer to Dad knowing he could keep me safe from the cooties.

“Stupid, icky, no good, colts.” My face squicked, pulling Dad away from the school to totally go train and not to run away.

“Oh, there was a few fillies, too, but I trust them to have more tact.” Dad chuckled.

“W-wait! What?!” My cheeks were suddenly blazing hotter than the sun. “But that’s not— But cooties don’t work like that!”

“Oh, really?” Dad’s grin was just full of horseapples. “And you know that how? Oh, great and wise warrior princess?”

“I… uh… I just do?” The fire spread to my neck. “It’s common sense! Fillies can’t spread their cooties to other fillies!”

“But you haven’t tested it?” Dad’s grin grew even wider, and so did the pile of sh— horseapples.

“No?” I could barely hear myself squeak while my stomach butterflies whipped themselves into a hurricane. “W-why would I ever do that?!”

“You’re a smart and productive student, Night. You know just how important it is to approach things scientifically.” Dad sniggered.

“Who would I even— No! No! You’re just trying to pull a fast one on me!” I giggled like a loon under moon. “Nice try, Dad, but you can’t fool me! Next you’ll say something crazy like, ‘Maybe you should kiss Diamond Tiara?’”

“You said it, not me.”

“But that’s just silly, and stupid, and just a little bit batty of you to—”

“Oh? So it isn’t icky?”

“—say so let’s just drop all this and get back to training!”

And no, it wasn’t icky: it was downright sickening. Just thinking about kissing Diamond made my mouth run dry, my frogs sweat, and the rest of my body feel feverishly warm.

It was just so… so…

“Why are we even walking? We should just fly to the forest’s edge!” Cantering ahead, I opened my wings for take off, and promptly tripped face-down in the dirt. “Screep! Oof!”

Dad roared with laughter as I scrambled to my hooves.

“I’m fine! I’m fine! My wings are still just a little stiff from Monday!”

For some reason, this brought Dad’s stupid grin back, and it made him laugh even harder.

“Whaaat? It isn’t funny! We lost a whole day of training because of me!” A few experimental flaps brought everything under control. “Now, come on! We have better things to do than daydream about kissing Di—” I bit my lip as my stomach butterflies roared. “—than daydreaming about all your loony, little ideas.”

“Whatever you say, Night.” That grin of his would just not go away. “Just make sure to head for Fluttershy’s. We need to pick her up before we head into the forest.”

We did? Were… were we not going hunting?

His grin finally slipped as I turned my pouty eyes up to eleven. “No, Night, Morning was adamant we do this safely. She wanted me to take you to Whitetail Woods instead.”

My pout intensified.

“Hey! Don’t look at me like that! I promised I’d take you into the Everfree, and I’m doing exactly that! I just needed something safer for you to do!”

“But safe is boring!”

Did… did I just say that? I did, didn’t I?! Who am I, and what have the crusaders done to me?! Guards are supposed to like safe and boring! Oh, Luna! Oh, Luna! Oh, sweet, merciful—

And Dad was laughing again…. Stupid colts….

“I— I promise it’s as good if not better than hunting.” Dad’s sides heaved as he gasped for breath. “Really, you should be thanking your mother. I never would have thought of it if she hadn’t said no.”

I squinted at him. “Reeeeeally?”

“Really, really.” Dad nodded, gesturing. “Just lead the way to Fluttershy’s and you’ll see.”

I glanced between him and the direction he was waving me towards. “Mom might kill you for whatever this is.”

“Oh, she can try.” Dad grinned. “But Fluttershy will be supervising you too, and she can totally testify that you were safe.”

“Flimsy alibis haven’t stopped Mom from getting justice before.”

“Pffft! Trust me! Fluttershy’s testification will be anything but flimsy. I already got an earful just from bringing up my own concerns.”

“If you say so….” With one last glance towards the Everfree, I made up my mind. Unfurling my wings—still just a little bit stiff—I leapt into the air and banked towards Fluttershy’s.

Forget what Mom would say.

Dad had promised.





The manticore cub and I stalked each other in a circle as we looked for any weaknesses in our prey. All I needed was a—

There!

“Rawr!” Wriggling my rump, I pounced, a squeaky growl tearing its way from my throat.

We collided and tumbled through the brush, biting and kicking and scraping for dominance as we went after each other with everything we had. The savage little guy was tied with me for wins.

And that. Would. Not. Stand.

So I bit at him, and he clawed at me! I bucked his side; he stung my flank! I was gonna—

“Nightingale Mooncrest and Manuel Darkfang Jr! What did I say about too much roughhousing?!”

Both of us instantly seperated with a glare and a hiss at each other. He growled. I growled back. I would have pounced again if not for Fluttershy swooping in to dab at our wounds.

“Honestly…” she tutted. “Biting and stinging each other…. If you’re gonna fight, the least you can do is have manners.”

“But we are!” I rubbed my side as the antivenom got to work. Again. “He totally could’ve gone for the jugular there and he didn’t, right, Manny?”

“Rrrrrrrreowl….”

“Yeah! What he said! The only thing worse than my bark is my brea— Hey! You take that back! I wash my teeth every day!”

“Night…. Manny….” Fluttershy frowned at us.

“What?! I didn’t—”

The frown deepened and I shut my mouth, squirming under the weight of her stare.

“Mmmm’sorry I bit you so hard….” I studied the ground.

“Rrrreow….”

“S’alright, really. You could have stung me in so many other places there.”

“Reow.”

“My guard was down.” I nodded.

“Reow.”

“And I was getting sloppy.”

“Reow?”

“Nope!” I giggled. “Still can’t understand you! This is so much fun, though! Way better than plain old hunting!”

Fluttershy smiled. “I’m glad you like it, Night.”

“I am!” I bounced once or twice. “Is Manny having fun?!”

“He is.” Fluttershy giggled as Manny Jr. came forward to rub himself all over me.

“Prrrrrrrrrrr….”

“Screehee! Manny, stop! That tickles!” I waved him away and looked back to Fluttershy. “Can we keep going, then, Miss Fluttershy? Pwease? You aren’t interrupting Dad, and he’s doing way worse stuff!”

There was a thud off in the distance as two roars rumbled through the forest. Several birds who had just finished settling themselves took off again, and the ground beneath our hooves shook from the impact.

“Is that all you got, you son of a sun witch?! My wife bites harder than that, and she doesn’t even have any fangs! Let me show you some real fangs!”

The roar that followed was several pitches higher.

“Oh, you too, mama bear?! Fine! I can take you both on!”

There was another thud, followed by several yowls, a yip, and the snarling of a pack of timberwolves from behind some nearby trees.

“Oi! What are you lot doing eyeing my daughter like a slab of meat?!”

Two roars of agreement followed, and there was a momentary pause in the ground’s shaking as the sounds of twigs breaking filled the air.

“There we go! More firewood for the winter! Now, where were we, you two?”

There was a few seconds of silence.

“What? It’s just a flesh wound! I’m fine! Come on, let’s get back to it!”

Fluttershy whimpered as another thud shook the ground, a pair of not-so-little manticores roaring as their fight with Dad continued.

“See!” I grinned. “He’s totally fine. He said so himself.”

“Oh my, oh my, oh my….” Hopping from one leg to the other, Fluttershy dashed off towards our parents.

“Pffft! Like anything in this forest could hurt our folks, right?” I elbowed Manny and he nodded. “Now let’s go for another round! We’re still all tied up!”

I couldn’t wait to see what he had planned tomorrow.





I looked from Dad to the mountain and then back to Dad.

“Without wings?”

“Without wings.” He nodded.

“Woah.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be here to help you.”

“Well, yeah, but just—” I craned my head upwards. “—woah…. Did Mom say yes to this?”

“She did.” Dad grinned. “As long as you rest up for it today and we spread it out over Friday and Saturday. We should finish up just in time for me to fly you back for a late dinner. Your mother promised to go all out for that, too, you know, since you’ll need all the energy you can get for your test on Sunday.”

“Screeheeheeheehee! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Between this and the manticores, there’s no way I’ll lose to Rumble!”

“It’s not a competition, sport.” Dad chuckled.

“Don’t care! You were right!” I threw myself at him. “Now let’s head home so I can go to bed!”

“You just got out of school, Night.”

“Oh, right…. Um….” I squeezed him a little tighter. “Wanna go to the movies, then? It’s been forever since we did that.”

“Sure thing, sport…. Sure thing….”





“Grrrryagh!” I heaved myself onto the next rock and into the snow resting atop it.

My coat was soaked. My wings were icy. Even windigos would have frozen in this! The only thing keeping me going at this point was the flag just a few meters over my head.

It was so close!

It was so far!

There was no way I would make it!

“You’re almost there, Night! You can do it!”

As always, the instant I started to doubt myself, Dad was there. He held out another thermos, and I greedily snatched at it to gobble down the last of the chowder—

Mmmmm….

Cocoa? Why was this one filled with cocoa? That was supposed to be for when I made it to the top! I couldn’t have this yet!

Warm, sugary goodness filling me, I shoved the thermos back over to Dad, and struggled to my hooves. Glaciers could have beaten me in a race as I crawled up the next rock, but I made sure I did it.

It was the same with the next one.

And the next one.

And the next one.

Sweet, merciful Nightmother, there were still too many for me!

I stumbled onto my knees and looked up again. Just one more? I blinked, and the flag did not zoom off into the distance. It didn’t fly away, or disappear in a poof of smoke. No, it simply stood about a meter above my head.

Waving at me.

Taunting me.

“Just. One. More.” I gritted my teeth and tried to crawl forward—really, I did—but it was just so cold. I reached out a hoof to see if I could at least touch it—

—and another hoof took mine.

“Come on, champ…. You can do it….” Dad smiled down at me.

“No… I can’t….” I could feel tears growing in the corners of my eyes. I couldn’t even find the strength to pull.

“You can’t ask for help?” Without warning, Dad pulled, and I found myself on his back atop the mountain, the pair of us gazing out on… everything.

“Woah….”

Dad passed me another thermos full of cocoa. “You made it a lot farther than I thought you would.” He chuckled a moment before starting to laugh. “You— You weren’t supposed to scale the whole bloody thing your first time! Oh, Luna take me, Night! Your mom is going to have a new thestral pelt to keep the twins warm!”

I said nothing, savoring the cocoa and view from my nice, warm dad.

“The whole bloody mountain.” Dad shook his head. “You climbed the whole bloody thing without me helping. You’re even worse than me when I was a colt.” He cracked a grin. “Feels good, though, don’t it?”

“I didn’t finish it on my own….” I barely had the strength to squirm.

“Didn’t finish it on your own?” Dad’s manic grin instantly soured. “Now listen here, young filly. I helped you with nothing but the last step. Everything else was on you, so don’t give me none of that. That’s exactly why your mother taught Rumble her moves.”

“I don’t understand….”

“Yes, you do.” Dad snorted. “We raised you better than that, you loon under moon, so stop being so stubborn.”

I was silent for another moment, my muscles burning. Sweet Luna, the test tomorrow was going to suck.

“I guess you did….”

“You’re darn right, we did.” Dad nodded towards the moon—way past rising and high in the sky. “You know, your mother is probably worried sick right now. I should have called this off hours ago.”

“But you didn’t….”

“Eenope. I couldn’t.”

I sipped at my cocoa some more, waiting for an answer that never came.

“It still sucks, Dad….”

“I know.”

“I was so close!”

“You were! You got way closer than I did the time your grandpa pulled this stunt with me!”

“But I didn’t make it on my own….” I sighed.

“Would it really make a difference if you did?”

“Yes….” I buried my face in his mane and wrapped my hooves around his neck. “If I’d done it on my own, then I wouldn’t be here with you right now. I like being here right now.”

“Why you.” Dad laughed, pulling me off his back to give me a noogie.

“Daaaaaaad! Don’t ruin the moment!” I giggled as I wriggled in his grasp, warm fuzzies as good as melting all the ice on my wings.

“Ha! Ruin the moment? Me?” The noogie didn’t let up. “How can I be the one to ruin the moment when you’re the one that’s going to be telling your mother just how much you overdid it.”

“What?! No! I can’t do that! She’ll give me the loooooook!”

“Aye! She will! And you’ve earned that look today! Bear it with pride, my little light in the night, for it’s as much a reward as it is a penance.”

“Daaaaaad!”

Our laughter echoed deep into the night where it settled on the peaceful towns below.
> The Dark Horse Rises
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“The bombs are in the bay.”

Mom’s words bucked down the door to my room and sliced through my dreams of the world’s biggest mango-durian pie. Instantly, I was flailing to get my glasses and get out of bed before the air raid siren that was Dad went off. I was almost to the door when he burst through the wall in a manic frenzy—the bags under his eyes doing nothing to stop him from giggling like a schoolfilly—as he scooped me up and bolted towards the door where Mom waited with a strained smile.

“Screeheeheeheehee!” Dad twirled me around him once as he ran through several more holes. “It’s time. It’s time! It’s time! Are you ready to be a sister, Night?! For nigh is the second coming!”

“I’m gonna be a sister!~ I’m gonna be a sister!~” I might have been awake in record time, but my head was still stuck in the dreamlands with the giant dura-mango. Even as I laughed with Dad, I had the strangest feeling I was forgetting something.

“Tempered….” Mom set a hoof on his withers as Dad got to the door and bucked it down like he had the rest of the house.

“You hear that, world?!” Dad roared into the white-grey of pre-dawn. “The pups are on the way!”

“Honey.” Mom tempered her voice, and my own giggles died down as she shook an oblivious Dad.

“Hrmm?” Dad finally turned to nuzzle Mom like his life depended on it. “Say whatever you desire and it is yours, oh sweet glory of my life, the morning star that blinds me so. Your knight in midnight armor is here.”

“Yes, I know you are, and I love you for that.” Mom pecked Dad on the cheek. “But you need to stop embarrassing yourself. If you’re even half this bad when the foals get here, we’re gonna have a few more weeks of winter.”

“Wait…. You mean the launch bay isn’t open?” Dad blinked several times, rubbing at his eyes as a massive yawn overtook him. “But puppers?”

“It’s still a little early for that, Tempered.” Mom rolled her eyes and smirked. “Did your training with Night derail you so hard that you forgot that we agreed to start running drills?”

Dad bit his lip, looking at several of the new doors in the house before turning back to Mom with a smile. “Oops?”

“Oh, this is a bit worse than an oops.” Mom went for the lips this time. “You’re lucky you’re so cute, you lunk.” Wobbling over, Mom leaned down to squint at me. “Although that doesn’t excuse you two staying out so late last night. Honestly, Night, you don’t look like you’re in any shape for the test today.”

“Test?” Test. Test, test, test, test…. What was— “Oh, hay no!” I backpedaled a few steps before turning to stampede for my room. “I’m not gonna be late, am I?”

The clock sat there, silently, judging me.

“No, no, no, no, no!” I made another door next to Dad’s new entrance as I bolted back to the front door. “No time to eat or shower! Love you both! Gotta go! Bye!” After giving each of them a hug, I threw myself out the door.

“Scree!”

With a shriek, I nose-dived into Ponyville. The wind sunk its fangs into my wings as I zipped and zooped through the streets, trying to tear them off me like I was some delicate little butterfly.

“Hah!” My wing clipped a lamppost as I swerved around the corner. “You think you can stop me?! I’ve eaten maggots with more bite than you!”

“Heya, half-pint, you mind keeping it down a bit? You don’t have to howl to the moon this early.”

“Scree!” I almost took a bite out of Rainbow Dash as she whizzed up to my side—easily coasting along with me once there.

“Hey! No tasting the rainbow!” Rainbow laughed as she looped around me. “Seriously, what’s the rush?”

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to! Can’t afford to be late!” I left full sentences behind as I pumped my wings harder and harder.

“So my two new wingponies really are coming in for an early landing, then?” Dash grinned as I took another turn for the final stretch to the castle where the Canterlot airship was already docked.

“Nope! Dad was just—” I swerved wildly as Scoots burst from a side alley with Rumble gripping to her back for dear life. “Dad was just being a goof!” I looked at the scooter besides us now. “Oh, sweet Nightmother, guide me. I have to be late if you two are almost beating me.”

“Hey!” Scoots spared a glance my way as Rainbow snickered. “I set my alarm early today!”

“Not early enough, though.” Rumble chuckled.

“Not funny!” Both Scoots and I thwapped him as hard as we could while barrelling down the road at top speed.

“Uh, wait? Is this about that junior guard test thing Twilight was going on about?” Rainbow waved a hoof. “Don’t worry! You’re fine! Combat is the last thing on the list.”

“That’s not the problem!” Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Stupid wings! I didn’t even use you when I was climbing the mountain! Why were you cramping now?! “We’re gonna be late, and Sergeant Smiles is gonna get mad, and you never want Sergeant Smiles mad at you.”

“So many wing ups.” Scoots shivered.

“You guys want a lift, then?” Rainbow looked from the airship to us. “I can totally get you there in ten seconds flat.

“Yes! Please! Anything to stop us from being late!” I almost crashed us both as I latched onto her hooves.

“Ack!” Rainbow squawked. “Geeze, half-pint, settle down. It’s not like they’ll send you to magic kindergarten if you’re not there on time.”

“But she’s done that to cadets who were older than us!”

“Say what?” Rainbow blinked. “You need to seriously chill. I was joking.”

“Just get us there and she’ll calm down.” Scoots sighed, falling back to bite down on Rainbow’s tail. “At least, I think she will. Sometimes she’s worse than Twilight.”

“Like I could ever be as good as a prin—”

The rest of my bad dad words were drowned out by the sonic boom pulling us into the castle before a single second had passed. Through the halls, up the stairs—Scootaloo’s scooter bouncing all the way—three screaming fillies and a steely-eyed missile mare streaked for the docking bay.

“Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—”

There was a flash as Princess Twilight teleported before us only to dive to the side as we hurtled by; the unlucky guard that tried to tackle her to safety sacrificed himself beneath Scoots wheels for nothing.

“—eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Sweet Luna, it felt like forever, even if it was only seconds.

“Smell ya later, squirt!” Rainbow dropped us off and zooped off with a laugh. “I gotta a lot of napping to do if I wanna catch you kicking flank later!”

I was left with my head spinning as I stumbled over four left hooves, barely able to squeak out a goodbye.

“Aww, yeah!” I could feel Scoots jumping up and down as she waved. “Just you watch! I’m gonna be the best one in the ring!”

“Except for Night and me.” The insubordination was strong to my right. “Now keep Night steady while I find her glasses.”

Oh…. That explained why everything was so white…. The sun was probably just peaking out on the other side of town.

I shook my head, almost flopping to the side as the world slowly realigned. Closing my eyes, I let out a few clicks to get a feel for the dock, and I crawled towards what was either my glasses or a pair of aviator goggles somepony had discarded.

“Nopony will be getting in the ring if Sergeant Smiles gives us the boot.” I grumbled as I poked about and clicked every few seconds for another view. “I can’t believe Rainbow took us to the docks. We would have made it on time if she’d taken us to the training room!”

“Hey! Cut her some slack!” Scoots huffed. “She got us here ahead of time, didn’t she? As far as I’m concerned, we’re early now. If the sergeant has a problem with that, then she can—”

“—bake you into a chicken pot pie and feed you to your platoon commander like the mince meat you are!”

I jumped. Scoots squawked. Rumble stomped out a salute just like I’d drilled into him. And then there was a crack as his hoof came down.

“Ooops….”

“Tell me you didn’t step on my glasses.” It took every inch of willpower to only growl at him.

“Ummm… what if I tell you I ground them into dust instead?”

“Oh, I am so going to—”

“Attention!” A gravelly voice erupted from by the airship, and I burst into motion on instinct. “Feldmarschall approaching!”

Oh horseapples…. A field marshal? We weren’t ready for a field marshal!

“Fall in and line up, cadets!” My squeak hitched a little as I kept clicking away like mad, grabbing Scoots and Rumble as I flew past and tossing them into the fuzzy mish mash of movement that was everypony else scrambling to get where they needed.

Because of course they weren’t already in line like they should be.

Shoving everypony in place with just a little more force than necessary, I bolted back to the front lines and snapped a salute. My aching everything just cried to go back to bed at this point, and I couldn’t stop a tremor or two from shaking my entire body even as three more ponies stepped onto the gangplank.

“Presenting, Feldmarschall Fledermaus!”

Something in my brain broke as the guard from before and one of the new ponies flanked the other two.

“As well as his guest, the esteemed Lady Selene.”

Who?

“Now, Rank.” The Feldmarschall Fledermaus gave a wheezy chuckle that held just a hint of its former thunder. “Ah told ya that you could call me Flittermouse.”

“Forgive me, sir, but I’m Center File, sir. Front Rank is to your left.”

“Eh?” Lord Flittermouse looked back and forth. “Ah coulda sworn…” He snorted. “Young folks these days, I guess. Lookee here, son. Ah was born in the boons and ah’m proud of it! Ain’t no confangled, fancy new title from the Queen o’Loons is gonna change that.”

“Sir, you’ve been a field marshal for over thirty years. Your position is by no means new, and Princess Luna was not the one who promoted you to—”

“Po-ta-to, po-tah-to!” Lord Flittermouse waved a hoof. “Ah’ve been telling you city slickers for years you need to loosen up! Ya didn’t give me the dark of night before ol’ black snootie came back, did ya?”

“Feldmarschall Fledermaus, please.” Both guards were fidgeting at this point. “We have a schedule to keep to.”

While the rest of the platoon snickered, I was internally squeeing like a fanfilly. I barely remembered to bark at them for talking out of turn because I was too busy trying to click a good picture of the legendary warrior that was gracing us with his humble presence.

“Let it rest, Flitter.” Lady Selene giggled as she looked between her companion and his prey. “Trust me, there’s just no reasoning with some of them.”

My ear flicked at the sound of her laugh. Starlight… and… silver bells?

“Princess Luna?” I would have blinked if my eyes hadn’t been so tightly screwed shut.

The giggling increased tenfold as the two guards immediately winced.

“And see! Ah told you foals that disguising her was a waste of time!” Lord Flittermouse cuffed both the guards in the back of the head. “At least ya can act better than sunny flanks!” 

“You also bet I would last at least five minutes.” There was the hum of powerful magic and then my ears flattened for a moment from the feedback of Princess Luna’s transformation. I made an indentation in my skull as I saluted twice as hard, though, and the rest of the platoon thankfully followed suit.

“Ah did indeed, Princess.” There was the jangle of a few bits being exchanged. “Go and buy yourself something sweet with that.”

“All in good time, Flitter.” I could hear the grin in Princess Luna’s voice as she trotted down plank. “We’ve yet to breach the gates.”

Her hoofsteps put her closer and closer to my broken glasses, and when she stopped right on top of them it took everything I had not to squirm. I could hear the scrapping of plastic on crystal as she picked up the pieces from the ground, just one of the many ways I’d already failed her today. When she sighed, it was like a buck to the chest, and only the presence of Sergeant Smiles and Field Marshal Flittermouse kept me from collapsing at the sound.

“Oh, my little Nightingale….” There was the hum of a spell and she started walking towards us again. As she stopped before me, I couldn’t help the shiver that went down my spine, or the twitch of  my wings as I imagined the face she no doubt wore.

“You really must be more careful….”

There was suddenly the familiar weight of glasses on my face once more, and I blinked to find The Night Eternum smiling at me; my face burned with the intensity of a thousand moons.

“This the little pup you told me about?” Wrinkled, wirey, and very, very hairy, Flittermouse’s arched brow gave Apple Bloom’s sister a run for her money as I finally laid eyes on him. He was a far cry from the barrel chested behemoth all the books always painted him as.

“You’re the Feldmarschall Fledermaus?” I squeaked as his gaze went from sparkling merrily to eyeing me like a hungry lion. “Screep!”

“And what if Ah am, ya little whippersnapper?”

“I… umm… I…” Even as I kept myself locked in my salute, I cast my gaze to Princess Luna and Sergeant Smiles for help; one was hiding her smile behind her hoof, while the other just stood silently at attention with this itty-bitty frown.

“I thought you’d be bigger?” Must. Not. Bite. Lip.

“Well, Ah ain’t.” He frowned. “Not anymore. Make assumptions like that in the field and you’ll end up dead faster than you can say you’re lebensmüde.” His tail flicked so fast it whip cracked. “Rank and File! Fall in and move out!”

In an instant, the accent was gone as he walked down the plank with perfect poise and a stoney facade that would make a cragodile look cute. He took his good, sweet time reaching us, everypony else sweating bullets instead of snickering like they had been.

My wings started to itch; they wanted air so badly, but I didn’t dare to move while he cast his hungry gaze among us. The urge to yell at the others to stop twitching was strong, but I knew it would only single me out from the herd.

“I must say I am disappointed, Smiles. This is far below your usual work.”

“Sorry, sir. I have no excuse, sir.” There was the curtest of nods. “It’s much tougher to break foals than fresh cadets when I can’t use my usual methods.”

“I didn’t say it was your fault, Sergeant.” He waved a hoof towards her as he scrutinized us. “But I have to say I expected more after all the glowing recommendations you sent us about your newest bunch of recruits—” The gaze of death itself briefly turned on me. “—and their ‘natural’ platoon commander.”

W-what? My eyes trailed over to Sergeant Smiles, but she kept staring straight ahead.

“You there! You’re posture is off! You can’t just lean on one hoof like a slacker!” He pointed at Rumble. “And you look like a weichei with how much you’re shying away!” Sweetie Belle. “You three look like rabble rousers and thugs with how much you’re giving me the evil eye.” Diamond, Bloom, and Scoots. “And I know your uncle enough to know he taught you better!” Silver Spoon.

One by one, he shredded into everypony else but me. One by one, I felt all their failures piling on my back.

Was I the only one who was going to pass? I should have… I should have spent last week training everypony! I didn’t need to climb that stupid mountain!

“And you… the prodigal platoon commander…” As his gaze fell upon me, I couldn’t keep back my sniffles anymore. “Your posture might be better than more than half of the soldiers under me, but I think we both know why you failed all the same.”

“Look alive, cadets, because every single one of you is failing your first test right now!” He stomped a hoof. “Think long and hard on just what a lack of proper diligence cost you today. Am I an old coot? Yes! But I am an old coot who is fully capable of taking on most of the guards you all aspire to be! The only one of you who bothered to keep themselves at attention the whole time was your bloody platoon commander! Do you know what that tells me, cadets?”

He glared at us in the ensuing silence.

“It tells me that your leader has failed to do her job! She had a weeks warning to whip you all into shape, and she spent it working herself to bloody death instead of training you!”

As the tears started flowing freely, I finally slumped under the weight of everything.

“Now drop and give me twenty-hundred, maggot.” Flittermouse growled from over me. “One hundred for everypony you failed.”

“Hey! Leave her alone you big jerk!” In an instant, my friends were by my side—all of them, the whole platoon. They all broke rank for me. “Can’t you see you’re making her—”

“Guys, stop…. He’s right….” My whispers cut off their cries of outrage faster than the field marshal had caused them.

“But— But— But, Night!” Diamond set a hoof on my withers, but I shrugged it off to fall into position and start my wing ups.

“One. Two. Three. Four….”

As I worked, all my friends stared in silence. They didn’t get it like I did. I could see it in their eyes as I forced myself to get going.

“Five. Six. Seven. Eight….”

I could already feel the burn starting to sink in after yesterday’s trip through Tartarus.

“Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve….”

There was a whimper from one of the girls—I couldn’t see who with the sweat starting to sting my eyes. It was pathetic, really. I might not even hit fifty.

“Thirteen…. Fourteen…. F-fifteen—”

I collapsed for a minute or so, too tired to keep going. Before Flittermouse could finish opening his mouth to order me to start back up, I flailed and pushed again.

“Fifteen….” That was all I could do before I collapsed once more.

“You know that’s not how real soldiers do it.” Flittermouse’s steely gaze was like a spear to the heart.

“One….” I whimpered, falling back onto the ground.

“One….” Again.

“One….” And again.

“I can’t….” I curled up into a ball.

There was an angry, insubordinate nicker as Rumble dropped on to his wings. “One. Two. Three. Four….”

And Diamond followed him. “One. Two. Three. Four….”

As did the girls. “One. Two. Three. Four….”

And Silver. “One. Two. Three. Four….”

Everypony in the platoon hit the floor to do push ups—the whole platoon but me counting off as they rose and fell. As one they worked to one hundred each, Rumble getting everypony in synch as he sounded off.

And when they finished?

“There we go….” The accent was back. “Well done, youngin’s! Such fire! Such loyalty! Ah think ya all just went and passed your first test with flying colors!”

Wait…. What?

I had just gotten up to topple back to the ground in confusion.

“That is the first dang time I’ve ever seen everypony drop in years, Smiles. Good on ya!”

“I do my best, sir, but they wouldn’t be near this good without Dark Horse here.”

Son of a sun witch! Dad never told me that they did tests like this in the Junior Guard!

Flittermouse was smiling at us, the loon under moon. “Ahhh, they’re always so precious the first time ah strike the fear of the sun witch in ‘em…. How was your first real taste of being in the guard, youngin’s? Ah’m not scaring too many of you away, am ah?”

“Does it smell like you did?” I muttered into the dirt.

“Does it smell like you did?” Sergeant Smiles echoed me with a smirk and a smart salute.

“Dad told me a story like this….” I groaned from the ground. “You planned this! You planned this, and I didn’t see it coming!”

“You bet your bridle we planned this, Dark Horse.” Sergeant Smiles snorted. “Your platoon already aced all the usual tests two months ago with how much you’ve been pushing them.”

“Then why the—” Rank and File flinched from a thestral word so colorful that reading it in Dad’s catalog of curses gave me a headache. “—did you just put us all through Tartarus and back!” I gave a squeaky snort as I stomped my hooves and flared my wings to shield the ponies at my back; I didn’t catch Sergeant Smiles smirk until it was too late. “We’re just a bunch of foals!”

“Yes, you are.” From where she’d been quietly observing, Princess Luna sighed.

I… I walked into that one didn’t I?

“There it finally is.” Flittermouse nodded towards me as I bit my lip. “Ya can see the problem now, can’t ya?”

“You were worried I was pushing the others too hard….” I sunk to the ground.

“That’s putting it lightly, Dark Horse.” Sergeant Smiles cackled. “Your merry little band of misfits has a performance record to rival most third years by this point. I tried to warn you last week that you didn’t need to work yourself to death, but did you listen? No… you couldn’t hear me from atop that bloody mountain.”

I looked away. “Even the best guards have their limits… I learned that lesson from dad yesterday!”

“Oh, I’m well aware of that, Dark Horse.” Smiles smiled her signature horseapple-eating grin. “A little batty came and told me that last night before carting you off to your bed. I also know that you were the only one in the platoon pushing themselves like that—” She glowered at Flittermouse. “—which I repeatedly told all those big wigs in brass when they started freaking out. Ponyville ponies are just that crazy; they spawn heroes faster than the nexus.”

“Ah can see that, Sergeant.” Flittermouse shook his head. “If ah had known just how batty they were, Ah wouldn’ta held back when Bitter Bite took me to the ring over this.” He spat to the side. “Bloody loon needs to learn to let that grudge of his go.” He smiled at us. “Ah mean, just look at the little tykes—all full of solfire and plasma. It’s rare to see such fierceness in youngins these days. Woulda been a crime if Ah’d scared them off.”

Leaning down to me, he held out his hoof. “Ah do hope ya can forgive me for all this, Platoon Commander. How about ah give ya some special training tips over lunch? Ah gotta a couple ways ya can push yourself more without breaking every bone in your body.”

“Well…” I looked down.

“Ah promise that they ain’t too heavy for foals.” Flittermouse grinned, pulling a sash from his uniform. “Ya ever hear of the Way o’the Bat?”

“No way….” The sash called to me as I reverently reached a hoof out to touch it. “Dad told me it was a myth!”

“Your dad—” Princess Luna giggled. “—is well on his way to becoming a Grandmaster.”

“But— But— But—”

Betrayal!

“Ya put this on and work your way through the rest of the day, whippersnapper, and Ah’ll talk to your dad about letting ya study under him. That sound like a better goal for ya to work towards?”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” I was bouncing on moonshine as I snatched the blindfold from Flittermouse and replaced my glasses with a world of darkness. With a few clicks, I quickly reoriented myself and fired off a salute. “I won’t let you down, sir!”

“Easy now, youngin.” The field marshal chuckled. “We got a few hours of rest and a nice hearty lunch before ya need to be calling me that. Just call me Flittermouse.”

“Screeheeheeheehee!” He wants me to call him by name!

“Sergeant.” He respectfully saluted Smiles. “Mah stomach demands that ya take us to the chow hall!”

“Roger, sir!” With a crisp snap of her salute, she turned to open the doors for us.

“Fall in and move out, cadets!” I stomped a hoof and everypony quickly fell in rank behind me.

Marching to the mess hall never felt so good! We passed! We passed! And there was still so much more to do! We could run drills, and we could do the obstacle course, and we could spar… all of it without needing to take the Luna-forsaken test!

Today was gonna be awesome!



“Atten-tion!” By the power of lunch and friendship, my squeak had everypony rigid and ready in less than half a second.

“To the front, salute!” Everypony’s breathing was measured and calmed as Sergeant Smiles and I had taught. As I stomped my hoof and saluted, I could hear the synchronized woosh of everypony puffing out their chests, and my own puffed a little more at the sound.

As I counted to ten in my head, I managed to keep an ear on them with my clicks. Everypony was in position; Princess Luna and Feldmarschall Flittermouse were directly in front of us—observing us from the castle gates. The audience with everypony else was somewhere off to the left.

At least, I think it was…. I wasn’t sure what else that mess of feedback could be.

“About face!” I hit the count of ten and bellowed once more, everypony a little less in synch that time.

“Forward, march!” One-two. Three-four. One-two. Three-four. Our hooves thundered in time with each other as we made our way to the front of the courtyard.

“Halt!” A few of the guys stumbled in the back, almost crashing into the rest of us, and I had to take a deep breath to shove the butterflies back down.

This wasn’t a test anymore…. It was just for fun…. We were showing everypony what we learned….

What we learned…

Maybe… I could test the troops a little?

“Wheel, right!” I grinned impishly as a few foals turned left automatically like every other practice we ran. “Screehee! I said right, guys! Come on, now! It’s just like a game of Sun Witch Says!”

There was some scattered laughter from the audience, although I could hear Smiles snort from wherever she was watching. A couple giggles from the rest of my friends had the leftees scramble to turn right, and—

“About face!” Sergeant Smiles hollered from somewhere above us. I acted on instinct, doing a one-eighty and waiting a second or two for more orders.

Everypony else was not so lucky. Somepony from before just completely tripped themselves up, and there was a series of cries as the rest of the squad fell like dominos.

“Oi! Get yer bum outta my face, Rumble!”

I couldn’t help laughing as Pip’s voice told me the two of them were stuck at ground zero in the pony pile.

“Enough lollygagging; back to it, cadets! Atten-tion!” Everypony responded much quicker as Sergeant Smiles barked again. “And if I were you, I’d listen to platoon commander Nightingale this time!”

“Sorry, guys, I couldn’t resist.” Rubbing the back of my head, my smile faded a little as I poked at the ground.

“At least you’re having fun with it….” Scoots grumbled with several murmured agreements from the others. “But if Rainbow saw that, you’re going to get clobbered in the ring later.”

“You can try!” I puffed out my chest. “Now, forward, march!”



“Halt! Right wheel! Present spears!” Pulling in front of the castle one last time, I had everypony twirl their toy spears in an extra dramatic salute.

“At ease, everypony. At ease.” Princess Luna and Feldmarschall Flittermouse chuckled before us. “That was a wonderful display of your comradery.” She nodded. “Especially from you, Nightingale.”

“Screeheeheeheehee!” Even though I could hear her sly princess-y smirk, I danced on tippy-hooves.

“Yer parents are all waitin’ for ya on the bleachers.” Flittermouse gestured behind us. “Go and take a break ya wee rascals. Ya earned it.”

“Mom, Dad! Did you see me?! Did ya? Did ya? Did ya?!” I sprinted off into the thick cloud of chaos that was the stands, clicking madly. Ponies were everywhere, smiling, laughing, talking. It was all I could do not to run into folks there was so much—

“Screep!” I squeaked as I tripped over something—I couldn’t even tell what in the din.

“You okay there, champ?” There was a chuckle as Dad instantly swooped in from wherever he’d been hiding to help me up. “I would have been down sooner, but I was talking to your moth—”

“Don’t you run from me, you lunkhead!” Mom gasped as she landed beside Dad with a solid thunk, briefly turning to me to peck me on the cheek. “I’m not done with you yet!”

Woah… Mom was huge right now. How’d I miss her and Dad in the stands when she stood out like a bloated, hungry sun with every click.

“Ixnay on the ellingyay, dear.” Dad looked from side to side. “I already told you I had nothing to do with her blindfold.”

“Umm….” I squirmed uncomfortably, taking a peek from beneath the blindfold to risk the hungry, hungry sun.

Was I not supposed to accept it?

“Well who was it then?” Mom was fuming more than Princess Celestia that time I ate her aracha.

“It’s a secret.” Dad looked away.

“I swear if this was another one of Mercy’s insane gift ideas….”

“It wasn’t Mercy, dear.”

“Tempered, honey, I love you more than life itself, but if you don’t tell me who started her initiation before I count to three, then you’ll be sleeping on the couch for a year.”

“But I—“

“Two years! You know as well as I do that your little secret organization isn’t nearly as secret as you like to pretend. One!”

No, no, no, no, no! Dad didn’t deserve the couch for something I did!

I ran in front of Dad. “It was—”

“Ah do believe ah said you could tell your wife what ah did, Tempered.”

“So it was you!”

Oh, horseapples…. The last time Mom had that look on her face we had ended up in the Undercity stockades.

“Morning, no!”

“Mom, no!”

“Let me go, you loons! I can take him!” Mom was threatening to roll right over us she was so insistent. “I call for Schattenkrieg, you filthy son of a wombat!”

“Mom, stop!” My neck burned with fire. “You can’t call a decorated war hero that!”

“Why, sure she can!” Flittermouse laughed. “Ah deserve it after what ah put you through earlier.”

She squinted at me for a moment before glaring at Flittermouse again. “Now explain the blindfold. I told Tempered I didn’t want her to join the Way until she was a full-fledged adult, no ifs, ands, or buts.”

“Awwwwwww…. But why?” I loaded my double barrel slingshot with 200mm bullets, firing pure, grade A, weaponized sadness from my eyes.

“Ah am a mite curious about that myself.” Flittermouse frowned. “Ah think it would be good for her to have somethin’ to strive for.”

“She already works herself to death for the Junior Guard.” Mom scowled.

“Aye, she does.” Flittermouse gave a toothy grin. “And if she’s anything like me, it’s because it ain’t quite what she needs. Ah think we can both agree the Junior Guard is supposed to be fun for the foals at the end of the day—” Mom huffed but didn’t disagree. “—but some whippersnappers aren’t always looking for fun.”

“I like fun, sir….” I squirmed at Mom’s hooves.

He nodded towards me. “Ahhhh, but how much do ya love training yerself more? How much does the taste of discipline and order make ya want to sing a shanty as ya lead your troops to the ends of Equestria and beyond? Is the Junior Guard really enough for you?”

“I like training a lot, sir….” I mumbled, looking down as I avoided answering the whole question.

Flittermouse snorted. “Still haven’t learned to dodge properly, soldier.”

I let out a squeaky whine, and Mom quickly wrapped me in her hooves. Nuzzling deep into her chest, I barely managed to whisper.

“Sometimes I want more…”

Blasphemy!

“There. Ya see that, Morning?” Flittermouse smiled. “Knew what Ah was dealing with the moment Ah read Smiles’ report. Honestly, she reminds me o’ me at that age.”

Me? Like a decorated war hero? My neck heated to a thousand degrees.

“She needs more than just the Junior Guard can give her or she’ll go batty trying to make more of it herself.” He sighed. “If you’re that worried, then Ah’m sure ya can can set a few ground rules with Tempered for her training. Just give her something more to work for. Do that, and she’ll only worry about having fun with the rest of her friends in the Junior Guard.”

Mom was silent for several moments as she continued to scowl at Flittermouse.

“Morning, I—” Dad stepped forward.

“We’ll talk about it later when I can think straight.” Mom grunted, clutching her side as the twins tried to hug me too. “For now, let’s just see if we can get to the training room before Night misses the best part of her first inspection.”

“Are the twins acting up again?” Dad rested a hoof on her side.

“Yes.” Mom pecked Dad on the cheek. “And before you ask, no, I don’t need a doctor—not yet. They might be bucking me about like I’m their foal’s first punching bag, but I’ve taken worse from you, you lunkhead. Another hour or two won’t kill me.”

“If you say so, dear….” Dad gave Mom a few advanced nuzzles that made me squeak and look away. “I love you.”

“I love you too—both of you.” Mom sighed, pulling us both closer with her wings. “Now march or we’ll miss out on all the fun.”

Leaning down to rest his head on Mom’s stomach, Dad growled softly before wrapping his wing around Mom to help her off the stands. “Behave yourselves, you two. You hear?”

Mom winced as the twins kicked in reply.

Flittermouse was already long gone as we finally made our way to the sparing area. The door to Training Room A stood open, and there was already audible gasps and groans leaking into the hallways. As I stepped inside, our little colony finding its way to the audience, I turned to see a work of art.

“Heeya!” Diamond lifted poor, little Pipsqueak into the air, flipping him over her back and pile driving him into the sand behind her.

“Woah….” I blinked, unused to seeing Diamond so…

“Woah indeed.” Dad chuckled as he gave me a nudge and a wink. “She could still use a bit more training, though. Maybe you ought to give her some private hooves-on tutoring?”

Huh?

“You might want to think about it if your mother won’t let you in The Way.”

Oh…. Oh! He was being serious. For a second, I thought he was suggesting—

I shook my head to clear it of stupid, icky thoughts. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea….”

“Aww, come on, champ! You’d be a great teacher!” Dad grinned. “What do you think, Morning?”

“I think we agreed to wait on talking about this until later.” Mom sighed, slumping against Dad a little more. “Thank you for trying to think of other options, though. You think we’re too late for Night to get her turn?”

“I don’t see my name on the bracket board!” I had to hop on my frogs to get a good view of the tournament listing in the back.

“I’ll go talk to Smiles.” With a peck on Mom’s cheek, Dad lumbered back to his hooves and edged along the bleachers towards the VIP section where Princess Twilight and Princess Luna were.

I took up Dad’s slack as he left, quickly moving next to Mom to keep her upright.

“You didn’t push yourself too much, did you?” I snuggled up under her wing as Scoots now wrestled Silver Spoon in the ring.

“Excuse me, young lady?” Mom snorted. “Who’s asking who if they overworked themselves?”

“Sorry….” My ears wilted.

“Don’t be.” Mom chuckled, pulling me closer. “Now you know what it feels—”

Scootaloo gave a raspy squawk as Silver got ahold of her wing. Both Mom and I winced as a few feathers came loose, but we winced even more when Scoots turned to bite Silver in retaliation.

“—like.” As the match ended with Silver letting loose and tossing Scoots out of the ring, Mom leaned down to nuzzle me. “Try to keep today in mind the next time you want to climb a mountain without any help.”

“You say that like I didn’t learn my lesson.” I pouted.

“Oh, I’m sure you did.” Mom pulled back for a moment to smile at me. “But you are your father’s daughter at heart; it’s only a matter of time until you forget everything in the heat of the moment.”

“You know you love us for it, though.” Dad rumbled as he squeezed back in with a bag clutched in his fangs. “If I didn’t do go batty now and then, we never would have gotten married. Hay, Night wouldn’t even be here right now if I hadn’t—”

“I don’t think Night needs to hear about the time we went to Wurstfest right now…” Mom’s entire body burned a deep, new moon black. “…where everypony can hear you.”

“Not my fault you didn’t take my invitation literally.” Dad grinned as he set down the bag.

“Tempered….”

“Alright, alright.” He turned to look at me. “Sergeant Smiles said not to worry, sport. You’ll get your turn.” He opened the bag and hefted me my sabatons. “She said you’d want these, though.”

“I will?” I poked the claws lining the edges to see if they needed a blunting enchantment or not. “I’m not facing Sergeant Smiles, am I?”

“Eeenope. That was my first question.” Dad shook his head. “All she’d say was that the dark horse always sweeps the competition away last second.”

“That sounds like a sun witch saying.” I pouted.

“Well, I mean, she was Solar Guard.” Dad rustled his wings, tilting his head to the side and humming with a smirk. “You know how they are.”

“Yes, we do.” Mom squinted at him. “Care to rephrase that, dear?”

“Mares are mysterious creatures.” Dad stuck his tongue out. “Be glad you have a few good years left, Ni— Ow!”

I giggled, hugging Mom for a few more moments before pulling away with one last squeeze to sabadon my hooves. Apple Bloom had Rumble in a headlock in the ring, and that meant the semifinals were almost up. After Silver and Bloom had a go at it, I’d be up, so it was best to start limbering up now.

“And lo! What a wonderful series of matches this has been!” As Rumble finally tapped out after five whole minutes of fruitlessly struggling, Princess Luna’s royal presence thundered through the room. “You have a most entertaining platoon here, my Ponyville friends!”

The crowd’s stomping applause could barely compare to her, but they were definitely trying.

“Still! Something has been… lacking in these festivities! A duel is just that, a duel! It is a one on one confrontation! Ponyville has long been known for friendship, so let us see just how far your foals’ comradery runs!”

Luna smiled at me, and her grin could make the sun fear for its light.

“Come hither, young Nightingale, and lead the strongest in your platoon against my chosen champion this day!”

Dad gave an audible gulp from beside me as his face scrunched worse than the time he tried to make Grandma’s three cricket chili. I looked up at him and squeaked—not sure if he was better than the alternative of Flittermouse—while Mom just sighed and shook her head.

“You didn’t realize what you were signing up for, did you….”

“Eeenope.”

“Remember what I said about forgetting things in the heat of the moment?” Mom gave me a tired smile before she nudged Dad forward. “Go on then, you lunk. Give those fillies anything more than a hairline fracture, though, and I’ll put you in a full body cast so thick that Captain Spitfire will use photos of you in all her motivational safety talks.”

“Nightmother, why do you forsake me?” I swallowed as Dad made his way to the arena, and I had no choice but to follow or leave Silver and Bloom to their fate.The two of them looked back as Dad’s shadowed loomed over them—the only sign of their surprise the extra arching of their brows.

“Oh, now that just ain’t fair.” Apple Bloom tilted her head back, sizing up our mark as only a true crusader could.

“Life isn’t fair.” Silver adjusted her glasses. “If it was, I wouldn’t have been born with a silver spoon in my mouth.”

“Girls.” I interjected myself before they could really get going, leading by example with more stretches to make myself limber. “Not. Now.”

“How the hay are we gonna beat your dad, though? He’s pretty much bigger than all three of us combined!” Apple Bloom spread her hooves out.

“I’m sure our fearless leader knows best.” Rolling her eyes, Silver joined me in stretching.

“One does not simply walk into the ring and defeat Dad.” I solemnly intoned. “You’ve never seen him when he’s serious.”

“Well, there’s gotta be something we can do!”

“It depends on the rules of engagement.” I took a deep breath. “Princess Luna has got to have something up her hooves to make this fair.” I glanced at my sabatons. “Well, something more than these.”

“Are you ready, young Nightingale?” There was enough mischief for a mob of imps sparkling in Princess Luna’s eyes.

“Always, my Princess!” I snapped a salute.

“Very well, then.” She cleared her throat. “Citizens of Ponyville, the time has arrived! Behold, my champion!” She gestured grandly to Dad, who waved sheepishly as the whispers around us grew bigger.

“The rules are simple!” Princess Luna flared her wings as she bellowed out to the crowd. “If Captain Tempered Mettle restrains any of the platoon for more than five seconds, that soldier is out! If all three platoon mates are taken out, they lose! If any one of the platoon can survive for ten whole minutes they win! And if the platoon manages to down their opponent?”

She smirked. “Then they will not only win, but they will each also receive either a boon of ten thousand bits from my own personal coffer, or a full paid scholarship to The Royal Sisters Military Academy when they come of age!”

The announcement of the prize brought an uproar from the audience so loud it rattled my teeth. Both Dad’s and mine ears splayed back at the noise, while Princess Luna just grinned like a loon under moon and waited for them all to settle down.

“On my mark, then! Three!”

“Arrowhead formation, now!” I fell back a little so there was a bit of distance between me and dad, my squadmates scrambling to follow.

“Two!”

“The only way this is going to work, girls, is if we stay on the defensive. Forget the prize.”

The amazing, awesome, incredible prize….

“One!”

“Stay in formation and we can do this. When he grabs one of us, the other two need to immediately converge on him to get them away, got it?”

“Got it!” By the Nightmother, I wish they’d finally learn they don’t need to salute me…. This really wasn’t the time.

“Begin!”

Luna shot a flare of magic into the air, stepping out of the ring to personally watch the battle unfold. Dad and I instantly tensed, stalking each other in circles. Hunter and prey. Monster and herd. His eyes searched for a weak spot in our formation as I led them around the ring.

“Today going to be the day, sport?” He flashed his fangs in a grin.

“You know it doesn’t count if it’s not one on one.” My wings twitched as he feinted to the left for a moment.

“Well if that’s how you feel, why don’t we just even it out?” He charged straight for me, and I leapt to the side with a flap of my wings. Neither Bloom nor Silver were as fast, though; Dad tackled them, putting them each in a separate headlock as he used his wings to keep his balance.

“Girls!” I rushed right back in to help, but I’d pushed too hard with my wings.

Stupid. Stupid! Stupid! I was working with earth ponies! I couldn’t use my wings like that!

“Ahhhhh! Get him off!” Bloom managed to kick him in the cannon hard enough to drop her before she turned to give a full force buck to free Silver. Dad dropped Silver to back off before the second hit could land, though, and leapt back with a flap.

“Whatever happened to staying in formation?” Silver grumbled as she rubbed her neck.

“Sorry!” Even as I winced, I kept one eye open just for Dad. “Won’t happen again! I pro— Hard left roll, now!” Without looking back, I tucked myself in and leapt, rolling to my feet to find Dad swiping at where we’d just been. The girls were safe behind me, though—my order carried flawlessly through.

And so we resumed stalking each other once more—the crowd’s roars returning to baited breath.

“We ain’t gonna be able to run forever, Night.” Apple Bloom rolled her shoulders as she followed me. “I know my limits. If he keeps charging us like a goose with a noose, I won’t even make it to eight.”

“You think I don’t know that?” I hissed. “My record is only five minutes, twenty-two seconds!” I glowered at Dad as he chuckled. “We’ll just have to stick it out.”

“I can hear you, kiddo.” The chuckles became a full on laugh. “You think you can outlast me? Endurance is my highest stat!”

“Hay no!” I shot back. “But I know we can make ten minutes!”

“And why not go for the gold, champ?”

“You’re the one who always said I should play it safe!”

“I’m also the one who said you could climb a mountain.”

I bit my lip but said nothing.

“You know you want to!~” He leapt again, and we rolled to the right.

Before we were even up, he did it again.

And again.

And again.

Wait. Where was Apple Bloom?

“One…! Two…! Three…!”

“Night!” Silver barked at me as we charged back in to buck Bloom free just before Luna finished counting to five. “You have to give us something now!”

“I don’t see you trying to come up with a plan!” I pulled them both back with a gusty flap.

She was right, though…. We needed something and we needed it now.

I cast my gaze over the hulking form of our imminent doom. There had to be some sort of weak spot. A chink in the armor. A wound to open. Something!

There!

As Dad charged us again, I saw the tiniest shift in how he ran. He was favoring one side over the other; he’d actually felt Apple Blooms kick to the cannon. If we focused it enough so he couldn’t keep charging…

“Roll left!” We dodged again, and I used the roar of the audience to hiss out a whisper. “Next time I call a roll to the left, roll in and buck his cannon again. We’ll have one chance; give it everything you got.”

“Roll ri— Scree!” I didn’t have a chance to make sure they’d heard—Dad coming right back in to grapple me before I could get away. I used his size against him, crawling about him in a flurry of hooves that kept him trying to get a grip on me.

“Hah! That’s my girl! Just like I taught— Arrrgh!” Dad roared as I sank my fangs in his wing to hamper his mobility advantage. “Son of a wombat! That’s your mother’s move! Come here, you!” He finally managed to snag me, holding my squirming form up with a triumphant grin.

“Victory is mine! Any last words?” He booped my snoot.

The foal.

“Roll left!” I lunged forward to bite his frog in his brief moment of confusion; the girls lunged forward like I’d ordered.

There was a loud crack as two sets of earth pony hooves met bone, and the resulting roar threatened to cave the room in. The stream of bad dad words was constant and unending as I was dropped on my hooves, but before I could take advantage of our momentum Dad gave a shaky flap back.

The crowd was now silent save for Mom and Princess Luna.

”That’s it, sweetie! Make your momma proud!”

“Well done, Nightingale! Well done! T’was a fine ambush, indeed!”

In the quiet, the jingle of bits could be heard as a chuckling field marshal paid the Princess her due.

“Really, Princess? You bet against me?” I’d never seen Dad pout like a kicked puppy before.

“Neigh, my champion. I simply bet on your daughter giving a good fight!”

“That would be her mother’s training kicking in.” Dad scowled at the crowd. “Thank you for that, honey!”

“You’re welcome, dear!”

I couldn’t help but giggle.

“So do we win?” Apple Bloom took a tentative step forward.

“Of course not.” Princess Luna, Mom, and I all spoke without a hint of hesitation. “Now… he gets serious.”

“Beg pardon?” Bloom blinked as Dad cracked his neck like a thunderbolt.

“Say what?” Silver took a step back as Dad took a deep breath and the room seeped a few shades closer to black.

“Playtime is over.” Dad’s fangs got a little bigger as they gleamed in the darkness. “And I get to see just how much my little light in the night has learned.”

“Get ready to run, girls.” I tensed myself for the flight of my life. “It’s the only way to win.”

“W-what is he even—”

“Run!” I tackled Silver to the side as Dad’s eyes flicked to her and he melted into the shadows to surge up behind her. “Keep running! Don’t stop! He can’t get a lock on you if you’re always moving!”

Apple Blooms mouth kept opening and closing as she tried to finish her sentence. Her eyes were glued to Dad, wide with fear as he loomed over her with the true grin of a loon under moon.

“V-v-v-vampony!”

What?! No! It was just a bit of thestral… magic…. Aw, horseapples…. I don’t think I ever told her about that trick….

“Run Apple Bloom! It’s only—”

Too late. She was wrapped in a bear hug to struggle fruitlessly as Princess Luna counted to five. Every time she kicked his cannon, he scrunched his face in pain, but he was trained to not let it stop him.

“Five! Apple Bloom has been eliminated! Four minutes and thirteen seconds remain!”

Wait. Really? Score! I’d beaten my personal record! Too bad there was no time for a victory scree.

The crowd was in an uproar again, but I didn’t care to listen if it was good or bad. Silver was smart enough to stick with me and run, and Dad was in no shape to jump from the shadows all willy-nilly. As long as we kept moving, he’d tire himself out trying, and that meant his only option was going to be—

With another deep, measured breath, Dad stomped his hoof, plunging the room into a darkness so deep and unnatural that even I couldn’t see through it.

“Come on. Come on. Come on!” I sent out a rapid fire series of clicks and pulled Silver back as she blindly turned toward Dad while running with me. “We only need to last a few more minutes!”

“Give in to the Dark Side, Night.” I screeped as Dad reached a hoof into the shadows and it shot up in front of me. “We. Have. Cookies!”

“That line didn’t work last time, and it definitely won’t work this time!” I reared back to run the other way until he jumped the rest of himself behind us.

“Cookies!”

“Screep!” I almost tripped trying to get away; Silver did trip, and she was lost to the cookies.

“One…! Two…! Three…! Four…! Five! Silver Spoon has been eliminated!”

No! We were so close! I could hear the crowd cheering my name! My friends were rooting for me!

“You can do it, Night!” Diamond was the loudest.

“Give it to him!” Rumble next.

“Rip his head off.” That had to be Scoots.

“But not literally!” Thanks, Sweetie Belle.

“You better win after he dun scared the apples right out of me!” Apple Bloom gave a tired yell.

“Avenge us!” While Silver sounded anything but. “And these aren’t actually that bad….”

Squinting my eyes shut, I let it all wash over me. “I can do this…. I can do this…. I can do this….”

“One minute left!”

“I can do this!” For once, when I looked inside to reach out to the moon, the moon pulled back. “Screeeeeeeeeeee!”

I slipped through the shadows and dropped on top of Dad with my most savage battle cry.

“Huh?” Dad had only a split second to realize what was happening as I appeared above him and dropped down. “Hah! That’s my— Ow! Oh! Oof! My leg! Let go of that! Ack! What is with you and biting today? You’ve already made your point!”

In the last few moments of crucial struggle, a madly laughing Dad pulled me off his back and pinned me with three seconds to go.

Three seconds was not enough.

“And the winner is the bat platoon of Ponyville!”

The crowd’s cheering wasn’t quite enough to drown out Mom as my little brothers decided to steal the spotlight for the first of many times.

“Tempered… I know now is a bad time, but the bombs are in the bay.”
> Hanging Under the Mistletoe
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Scree-hee-hee!~ Scree-hee-hee!~ Scree-hee-hee-heehee!~” The bells on my harness jingled as I giggled and made faces at my brothers while Mom and Dad packed the carriage. The old snow crackled under my hooves as the new stuff daintily drifted down from the clouds above; I almost wanted to see what it would be like to stay in Ponyville for Hearth’s Warming.

Almost.

“Pfffffrt!” Red Dawn scrunched his face and blew a raspberry; a bit of saliva splattered on my glasses as his little feathery stubs blew up a spit storm. “Bah-bah! Bah-bah!”

“Sssssss!” Rolling Thunder agreed with a hiss, baring his fangs at me as he scowled. “Bah-bah, Nai. Bah-bah. Gibda dahdah.”

“Come on, guys,” I pouted. “Dad’s too busy to make faces at you right now. Can’t you cut me some slack?”

“Hmmf!” Red Dawn turned his nose up in a huff, while Rolling just let out the most piteous whine and pouted at me in turn. “Dada no dahdah!”

“Daaaad!” I looked over my shoulder. “Finish faster! The troops are getting restless!”

“Gibda dahdah!”

By the bad dad word, why did that come from the right?

I turned back to find Red mysteriously missing, a wide-eyed Thunder staring to my side. His hooves wriggled, and his face scrunched. Then, he melted into darkness and disappeared with a pop.

“Dahdah! Dahdah!”

“I believe these are yours?”

“Sorry….” I cringed as I turned to find both my brothers crawling all over Diamond and Silver Spoon. Silver was not amused by the hoof in her nose, but Diamond was tittering like mad.

Silver Spoon extracted the hoof while holding a perfect deadpan. “I’m not changing any diapers.”

“They just went, so you won’t have to worry about that for—“ My nose wrinkled instinctively as Rolling Thunder’s face screwed up in a fashion I was getting way too familiar with. “Incoming artillery!” I flapped forward to grab the foal and got the girls out of the blast radius. “Dad! Tell me you didn’t pack the diapers yet?!”

“Saved them for last, just in case.” Dad chuckled, tossing me the baby bag. “You got it this time, or are you gonna faint like a greenhoof again?”

“Screep!” I glanced back at the others who were watching me with smirks. “I didn’t faint! It just got hard to breath from all their sh—”

“Hrmmm?” Mom’s brow lifted like an executioner’s axe.

“—guano!” Launching up and into the air, I pulled Thunder inside the house before Mom’s blade could fall.

“Alright, soldier, listen up.” I loomed above my little cadet-in-training to scowl down at him. “I do not want a repeat of last time, understood?”

“Nai!” Rolling Thunder squirmed as his stomach gurgled ominously beneath me—little trumpeting toots heralding yet more bombs dropping.

“Give me an aye, not a nigh, Thunder.” I had to start breathing through my mouth.

“Nai!”

“Aye!”

“Nai!”

“Aye!”

“No! Nai!” Thunder let loose a squeaky wail and slugged me. “Nai! Nai! Nai!” The smell got worse as the tears started flowing.

“Nightingale Mooncrest!” Dad could have given Princess Luna a run for her money. “What the—” I flinched at the next few words. “—do you think you’re doing?!”

“Tempered!” Mom’s hiss was somehow both quieter and a thousand times more threatening.

“Oh guano! I can fix it! I can fix it!” Dancing on my hind hooves, I took the plunge and opened the hanger doors.

“By Luna, I can’t fix this!” I fell back in a coughing fit, waving a hoof in front of my face. “Screeeeeee! Daaaaaaaad! The stink crawled up my nose!”

“Did you breath through your mouth?!” Guano, guano, guano! Dad was definitely coming up!

“Of course I did! It wasn’t enou—” As I leaned in for one last attempt at damage control, Thunder finally loosed yellow napalm. “Ah! Don’t let it burn me again!” I dived into the floor to avoid the splash zone.

Burrowing to the safety of the porch, I popped out just as Dad landed to pout at him and scuff the cloud with a forehoof. “Sorry….” I shrank back into the cloud as Dad just chuckled and ruffled my mane.

“It’s okay, sport. You get used to it. Trust me.” He grinned like a loon under moon.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!” Rustling my wings, I puffed out my chest and pointed inside. “There’s no way I was ever that bad.”

“Of course you weren’t!” Dad’s laugh rumbled like thunder across the street, sending tingles down my spine. “If anything, you were worse!”

“Daaaaaaad!” My squeak was so shrill I swore the windows cracked.

“How the hay was Night worse than a pair of colts?” Diamond’s voice trailed up from below, and suddenly the sun itself probably didn’t burn as hot as me.

“Please… don’t….” I screwed my eyes shut and squirmed at the hungry fire burning up my neck.

Dad just chuckled and walked inside to pick up the baby bag.

Sighing in relief, I glided down to find Diamond tilting her head at me while Silver smirked. I squirmed as they waited with bated breath, scuffing the ground with my hoof and looking every which way.

“Don’t listen to him. I was nothing like my brothers.”

“Mhmm.” Silver’s smirk grew.

“No, really.” I bit my lip.

“Keep telling yourself that.” Her eyes were sparkling with insubordination.

“Why shouldn’t I?! It’s true!” With a huff, I stomped the ground, moving to go help Mom while Dad was indisposed.

If only I had caught her wistful smile in time.

“Oh, Night, dear… you poor, sweet, summer child…. I hate to burst your bubble, but you were far worse than your brothers.” Mom giggled and let out a sigh as she glanced first up at the house then over at Red—who was still crawling all over Diamond. “You were always so quiet… so shy… so peaceful…. We never saw any of your tantrums coming—” She sighed again. “—and they always managed to happen at the worst times.”

I squeaked as she swept me in a bone-crushing hug, and Dad laughed as he flew back down with an almost sparkling Rolling Thunder on his back.

“Nai! Nai!” Squirming in Dad’s hooves, he disappeared with a pop to jump out of my shadow and hug me. “Nai!” He nuzzled my mane.

“Nai means me, doesn’t it?” My ears flattened.

“Don’t worry, champ. You’ll learn, just like I did.” Dad booped my snoot before going back to shoving one of Diamond’s many suitcases into the trunk. “Although, I was taught by the best....”

“Daaaaaaaad!”

“What?” He waggled his brows at me. “You used to refuse to cry when you had to go, and you know what happened?”

My pupils shrank as only the tiniest of squeaks could escape my mouth.

“You let everything build up and up until your bombs literally had no other choice but to blow a hole open in your backside. You think your brothers are bad? I should show you the pictures I have of the time you blew up the base at Chernobull.”

“I need to see that.” Silver’s grin was shark-like as she leaned in. “No, wait. Diamond needs to see that.”

“I do?”

“Screep!”

“I do!”

“Why are you girls being so mean today?” I pouted, making Diamond flinch.

“Ah, they just think it’s adorable to see you all flustered!” Dad slugged my shoulder. “I used to do the same thing to your mother!” His grin turned predatory. “Maybe one of them has a crush on you, eh, Silver?”

“Forgive me, sir, but eww.” Silver didn’t even bat an eye.

“Yeah… eww….” Diamond, on the other hoof, gave a shaky laugh.

With a heave, Dad put the last of the bags in the carriage. “Ah, finally! Why do you two need so many bloody bags? We won’t be gone for more than a week.”

“Not all of us like to pack with military proficiency, sir.” Silver adjusted her glasses. “Thank you for taking us, though. It’s been forever since I saw my Uncle Silver Sword.”

“You’re the one providing the swanky carriage.” Dad gave Silver a bow. “I should be thanking you! The twins are still in that jumpy phase, and the last thing we need right now is that open-topped wagon of ours tempting them with sweet, sweet cold mountain sky.”

“Dad doesn’t trust that I’ll catch them.” I frowned, leaning back on my haunches to cross my hooves over my chest.

“No, I trust you to catch one of them, Night. It’s not your fault we have two little bundles of joy to keep in check.” Dad laughed and leaned in to boop both mine and Thunder’s snoot.

Mom snorted. “No, that would most definitely be your fault, dear. I only wanted one more foal in the family.”

Dad grinned and puffed out his chest. “I totally accept that this is my fault. Next time I’ll make sure we end up with triplets.”

Mom flinched. “Please don’t get ahead of yourself, Tempered. You want triplets, then it's your turn to be the mom.”

“That’s an option?!” My mouth dropped to the icy ground, and I looked up at Dad. “Does that mean I can be the dad then?! Dads are way cooler than moms!” My ears flattened as Mom huffed and Dad roared in laughter. “Ah, Mom, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that!”

Even as she scowled at me, Mom smiled. “It’s alright, sweetie. Believe me, I asked myself that question more than once these last few months.”

“What do you think, Diamond?” Silver chuckled. “You want to be the mom or the dad when you grow up?”

“I think we should stop talking about this and get going already!” The steadily shrinking Diamond Tiara was black as pitch as she grabbed Thunder off of Dad to lock herself in the cabin with the twins.

“You know you have to let me and Night’s mom in before we can go, right?” Silver tittered until the lock hesitantly clicked open once more. “Thank you.” Sauntering into the cabin, she winked at me as she closed the door. “You’re not the only one who’s fun to tease!”

“Spoooon!” Diamond hissed as I blinked for a moment and looked at Mom.

“Why’s Diamond so—”

“You’ll understand soon enough.” Mom giggled and ruffled my mane before climbing into the carriage as well.

“Well, fine then!” I pouted, kicking at the ground as I walked to the front to strap myself in next to Dad. He snickered as we lifted up and off towards Canterlot, looking down to slug me in the shoulder after we were set on course.

“Mares. Am I right?” His laugh was too infectious for me to keep scowling.

“I know!” I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help grinning like a loon under moon.

“You know what you need, champ? Carols.” Dad nodded sagely. “Nothing helps morale around Hearth’s Warming more than carols.”

“Dibs on doing Frosty the Kind-Hearted Windigo first!”

“It’s like you read my mind, sport.”

As we both took a deep breath, I knew the carriage ride would be over far, far too soon.



“Merry Hearth’s Warming!” My voice was sure to go hoarse if I kept waving and shouting whenever somepony beneath us looked up. We were passing over Canterlot in a whirlwind of silver bells—Dad belting out even more greetings than me—and the adrenaline from the flight had me higher than the moon in the night sky.

The shops were still open; the streets were still full. Hearth’s Warming at Canterlot was always the best!

I squinted so hard I could almost pretend to see all the colorful flashing lights as they were meant to be seen. Holly decorated almost every building, while icicles iced the windows like good, old stalactites.

“Oi, you ready? That’s where we’re dropping your friends off down there.” Dad nudged me and pointed with one hoof.

“You bet I’m ready!” With a laugh, we swooped down to skid along the icy streets and straight into the middle of a snowball war. Snow peppered us from both sides as we charged on through until we finally came to a stop in front of an old, weathered apartment squeezed between two bright and cheery houses like a lost sardine in a cherry salad.

“We’re here!” Unhitching myself, I moved to open the carriage door for Diamond and Silver. The dangerous sounds of gossipy giggling made me pause with my hoof on the door, but the suspicious laughter quickly smothered itself before I could work up the courage to do anything.

There was a moment of not-quite silence where the twins made gurgly baby noises and Dad grunted as he started heaving bags out of the back. Then the giggling returned as the door opened from the other side.

“You know you don’t have to eavesdrop to join in, right?” Diamond smirked at me with cheeks only slightly less burnt than when she went in.

“Nuh-uh. No thanks.” I shook my head. “I’ll leave the colt talk to you and Silver and Mom.”

“Oh, we weren’t talking about colts.” Diamond grinned.

“You weren’t?” My ears perked up. “Then what were you talking about?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” With a giggle, Diamond sauntered past me.

“Ummm….” I looked at Silver as she got out only to be met with a shrug.

“Don’t look at me. Not knowing is your problem, not mine. I mean, really.” She sniffed. “You’re blind as a bat with earmuffs.”

“Fine then.” I pouted as I followed her and began helping Dad unload the mountain of luggage they had brought. “Shine the sun in my eyes, why don’t you?”

“You know, I don’t remember my uncle being so…” Silver bit her lip as she gazed up at the rundown apartment building. “…down on his luck. No wonder it took forever to convince Mom and Dad to let us stay.”

“How long has it been since you last saw him?” My ear flicked as I turned to look with her.

“A couple years?” She rubbed the back of her head.

“Well I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you!” I smiled and slugged her shoulder.

“Yeah….” Her grin wasn’t quite as bright. “He certainly sounded enthusiastic when I wrote to him.” She glanced at the still mounting pile of luggage. “I hope it stays that way….”

“We’ll be fine!” Diamond sidled up to Silver and wrapped a hoof around. “I mean you got me here with you, and Night’s just a few streets over as back up.”

I squirmed. “Well… we’re actually heading to the other side of town, so—”

“Trust me! What’s the worst that can happen? Have I ever let you down before, Silver?” Diamond beamed with the brilliance of a thousand stars.

Silver simply arched a brow.

“That doesn’t count and you know it!” Diamond giggled.

The brow arched further.

“Neither does that!”

And further.

“Or that!”

I grinned like a loon under moon as Diamond stuck out her tongue. Dad was hitching himself back up, though, so it was time to leave my friends to it.

“Love you, girls.” I swept them both into a big wing hug. “Maybe tomorrow we can meet up to go ice skating or something.”

“That’d be… nice….” Diamond hummed as she leaned in with a shiver. “Mmmm…. Maybe we can sell a hug or two while we’re there.”

“Only if you buy me hot chocolate with any bits you make.” I chuckled as I pulled back. “See ya!” I hitched myself up to the wagon and we were gone into the night—the bells on my harness jingling with every flap of our wings.

“So you looking forward to this week?” Dad hummed another carol as we flew.

“You bet!” I giggled. “The twins have been helping me practice for Zephyr!”

“Senior or Junior?” Dad chuckled as we passed several weather pegasi setting up the clouds for tomorrow's blanket of snow.

“Can’t it be both?” Feeling giddy, I signaled for a downward descent, and we swooped in low so I could grab a branch or two from the trees of Canterlot Park. A few careful snips with my fangs had them in tip top shape for some antlers for me and Dad.

“That’s not very nice, Night.” Dad tried to hide his grin behind a smile. “Junior’s not such a baby as long as he’s had his nap and diaper change.”

As we came down on Sunset Avenue, a jolt sent us up on the curve for a moment, slipping and sliding. I made to move into the path of least resistance as Dad plowed ahead—which of course meant I joined him in barreling through the snow piled on the side of the road like a giggling two-headed madmare.

“Screeheeheeheehee!”

“Screeheeheehaahaa!”

“Oh me, oh my, dearie. Is that an adorable little pair of bats I hear?” Grandma Billowy teemed with titters as she teetered down the front steps of her house with a snow white colt on her back.

“Unca Temmy! Nightan— Nightin—” Zephyr’s face scrunched as his lips blurbled about, and he squirmed his way out of Grandma’s grip to canter up to us. “Night! Mm not scare no more!

“Hah! So you aren’t, soldier!” Dad laughed as he scooped my cousin up and tossed him into the air a few times. Zephyr’s wings buzzed as he giggled like a loon under moon, going higher and higher each time until Dad finally decided to catch my cousin and set him on me so he could properly unhitch himself.

“Screep!” Flailing as he crawled about, I tried not to buck Zephyr as he latched onto my ears and pulled.

“Giddy up!” His shout made me flinch from sheer volume, and some snow avalanched off the nearby houses and trees as he stomped into my withers and imitated Dad’s laugh. “Screeheeheehaahaahaa! Mma kite of the round table!”

“It’s knight.” I hissed as I flicked my ears to clear the ringing out of them and finally managed to get him safely on the ground. “Kites are the evil minions of vengeful, time traveling witches.”

“Nice save, kiddo.” Dad chortled. “But we all know you meant the b-word.”

“Dad!” My cheeks burned blacker than an umbra.

“I swear to Celestia, Tempered. If you keep corrupting our foals, then you won’t be making any more for the rest of your days.” Mom had to waddle down the carriage steps with both twins wrapped around her barrel.

“Pfft!” Dad snorted, waving a hoof as he rolled his eyes. “We both know that’s a lie.” He puffed out his chest. “And if it’s not, I’m just that good at slipping and falling.”

“Huh?” I looked between them both, Zephyr still holding my hoof.

“Nothing, Night. Your father just thinks he’s funny.” Mom sighed.

“Oh, I’m more than funny, sweetie.” Dad let out a bark of laughter. “I’m downright hilarious.”

“Like a nail in the hoof.” Mom ruffled her wings. “Please, mother, back me up on this.”

“So sorry, dearie. Did you say something?” With a titter, Grandma raised her hoof to her mouth. “My ribs hurt from laughing too much.”

“Moooooom!”

“Unca Temmy and Aun Mornin are weeeeeird.” Zephyr craned his neck back and forth as Mom and Dad did Mom and Dad things.

“Oh, you haven’t seen anything.” I giggled, leading Zephyr around the back so I could keep an eye on him as I liberated our single, well-packed family suitcase from the very back of the trunk. “Ooof! I’m—” I heaved the brick of a bag back up. “I’m gonna have to have a word with Diamond about her bags. I swear…. If all her stuff crushed my Hearth’s Warming gifts, I’m gonna scree so hard it’ll crack her tiara.”

“Who’s Dia— Diem— Di—” His face all but imploded in effort as he kept trying.

“Diamond?”

“Yeah! Her!”

“She’s a friend.” I smiled and looked back the way we came. “She’s in Canterlot, so I’ll probably be dipping out tomorrow to do some stuff with her.”

“What kinda stuff?”

“The stuff-y kinda stuff.” I shrugged.

Zephyr tilted his head to squint at me as I led him back around the carriage. “Mommy ahlways says tha when she wantsta kiss Daddy.”

“Screep!” The faceplant was instant and painful, and the slush got in my mane as I slid a trot or two down the street.

“Are you alright, dearie?” Grandma Billowy hobbled over to pick up Zephyr again.

“Mrgmmrff!” The street made an excellent screaming pillow.

“I’m sorry?” Carefully bending down she patted my withers. “I can’t hear you like that, sweetie. My ears were never that good to begin with, and they’ve only gotten worse with age.”

“I said Diamond wouldn’t want to kis— I mean, I’m fine!” My wings rustled fiercely as I stood up—my face burning like the black abyss of Nightmare Moon.

“And tha’s wha Daddy says.” Zephyr nodded sagely.

“But I don’t— I’m not— No! Just no! Okay?” I glowered at the little demon, filled with all his newfound confidence. How was he worse when he wasn’t crying? “Diamond doesn’t like me like that.”

“Don’t you think you kids should—”

“But you wike her?”

“—get… along….” Grandma sighed as my eyes bugged so much my glasses almost popped off my muzzle.

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Tell Zephyr to stop!” My whine bled into frequencies nopony else could hear.

Dad and Mom blinked, looking over from their not-fight. Red hugged tight onto Dad’s neck, his ears twitching as Rolling started sniffling on Mom; Dad only had time for a single bad dad word before the storm broke and Thunder wailed like a banshee. Red quickly joined him once the dam had burst, and Dad’s stream of Words-That-Must-Not-Be-Said got even more colorful as they started a competition to see who was louder.

The insubordinate Zephyr fled into the house with a giggle as Dad bared his fangs at me in a very dangerous smile—a shiver going down my spine at the sight.

Ooops….

A prayer was quickly whispered to the Nightmother.

“You needed something, sport?”

“I… umm… I wasn’t… Zephyr was…” I squirmed backwards, sinking into Grandma’s shadow so I could hide between her legs. “Zephyr was saying stupid stuff….”

“Stuff such as?” Dad’s teeth glinted with the hungry light of the sun.

“You know…” My ears splayed back. “…stuff.”

“I see….” The grin grew a bit, grinding a little as Mom tried to shush the twins. “Can you give me something more than that, kiddo? I can’t get mad at Zephyr if you don’t tell me what he did wrong, Night.”

“I know….”

“And?”

“It’s stupid…. You’ll get mad at me if I tell you….” I shrank even further into the shadows despite Grandma’s hoof rubbing into my back.

“I’m already just a teensy bit mad, sport, and I’d rather it not be at you. Please just tell me what he did; we can talk this through.”

“He said…” An extra icky image of me and Diamond sprang to mind, and I bit my lip. I just couldn’t! “I’m sorry, sir! It won’t happen again, sir! Please don’t punish me! I still want to hang out with Diamond tomorrow!”

“Hold on, Night. I never said—”

“You and Mom just handle the twins! I’ll get the luggage taken care of! Then, I’ll… I’ll…”

“You can help me with cooking, dearie….”

“I’ll help Grandma with cooking!” I threw our bag over my back and bolted towards the house. “I’ll make the best darn cricket loaf ever!”

“Night, wait—”

The door slammed behind me to cut Dad off as I fled like a coward to our room in the attic.

“N-N-N-Nightingale?” The gangly form of Uncle Zephyr had to jump out of the way as I rounded up the stairs. “I-Is s-something wrong? Y-your aunt and I thought we heard crying.”

“Everything’s fine!” I kept going before he could see the dammed water building in my eyes. “Just a little problem with the twins!” Swooping up the tell-tale hole in the ceiling, my tail grabbed the bottom rung of the ladder and heaved it back up so I could toss the door down and seal myself inside.

It was dark and musty and damp: everything I needed to brood as I set our bag on the floor and rested my head upon it.

“Dad never would have gotten mad like that a month ago….” I managed to keep most of the tears in by scowling into the canvas. “Why can’t foals just stay inside until they’re able to walk and talk and do all the fun stuff?! All I wanted was somepony to play with!”

I hugged the bag tight wishing Mom and Dad were here rather than dealing with Thing One and Thing Two.

“Stupid Zephyr.” Finally getting up, I knocked the suitcase over and unzipped it to start unpacking our stuff. “Stupid twins.” Toiletries, check. Backup diapers, check. Presents, check. “Stupid, icky imaginati— Awww, no! Don’t tell me they broke!”

There was the tinkle of crystal as I unwrapped Diamond’s gift and the shattered shards of a pair of earrings fell on the ground. I stared at them—the Nightmare rising within me—before it gave a mighty whinny as I tossed the useless piece of garbage away.

“Ragger. Shtagger. Fragger. Dagger!” I threw myself on my bed to viciously punch my pillow. “Why is everything going wrong today?!” Stuffing my face in downy comfort, I screeed at the top of my lungs.

“Hey, Nightingale, you up here still?”

I froze at the sound of the attic door opening. The sounds of Uncle Courage climbing up the ladder made my heart beat faster, and I curled even tighter around my pillow. When he reached the top, there was a moment of harsh, judging silence; I let out a mewling squeak—unable to even look up at him—and his sigh made me squirm just from how much it sounded like Dad.

“Ah, fewmits…. Why is bro almost always right about these things?”

W-what?” I mumbled deep into the pillow as I clutched it tight.

“Oi. I can’t hear you like that, and you know it.”

“W-what is Dad right about this time?” I sniffled as I peeked upwards.

“You.” Uncle Courage waved a hoof up and down at me. “The bugger said you needed somepony to talk to.”

“And what? He couldn’t talk to me himself?!” I bared my fangs with a growl, my wings itching to unfurl and flare. “Let me guess. He’s busy with the twins again!”

“Oh, he’s definitely busy with the twins right now.” Uncle Courage scowled at the opening to the attic as the giggling of foals carried up through the hole. “The son of a sunwitch thought it’d be better if I talked to you.”

“Well, it’s not.” I huffed, crossing my forelegs and pouting.

“You say that now, kiddo, but could you have said it if your dad was here?” My uncle chuckled as he moved forward to ruffle my mane and sit next to me.

“I—” Biting my lip, I looked down. “I don’t know…. Maybe?”

There were definitely some things I couldn’t tell him….

“I get what you’re going through, too, you know.” He offered his wing and I only hesitated a moment before scooting under it. “I went through it when your Dad was born.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, yes, you do. You just hide it.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh.”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yuh-huh!” One monstrous nose boop and noogy later, he was holding me just like Dad would. “Case in point, I’m just a wee bit jealous of your dad right now. He gets to do this all the time.”

“R-really?” I looked up with wide eyes. “B-but Dad—”

“Has everything I want and more.” Uncle Courage grinned like a loon under moon. “You know, he was a downright monster as a foal. You’ve heard your mom go on and on about how he strutted about like he was Luna’s goddess given gift to ponykind, right?”

“Mhmm.” The sniffles finally retreated as I snuggled into his side.

“Well, before he was all that he was all—” There was a loud, thunderous sneeze from below us, and Uncle Courage’s grin widened. “He bawled so loud and so often that your grandma and grandpa had to bribe the guard not to lock him up for disturbing the peace.”

“You’re kidding!” Giggling as my mane was ruffled once more, I looked up at him and stuck my tongue out. “Tell me the truth!”

“I am.” There may have been a chuckle, but Uncle Courage’s face was straight as an arrow.

“No way!” I leaned back with a gasp.

“Yes way.” He winked. “Although I may be exaggerating just a wee bit. Your grandma and grandpa did have to pay a couple fines, though. Drove us all batty and the neighbors battier.”

“That doesn’t sound like Dad….”

“Ha! You think that’s bad?” Bits of dust fell from the ceiling as the room shook with Uncle Courage’s laughter. “I have all sorts of stories about what we had to go through whenever he dropped a bomb on us! Trust me, those little stinkers of yours don’t hold a candle to him.”

My nose wrinkled and my ears splayed back at the thought. “How— How did you handle it all? The twins are just so… so…” I buried my head in his chest and screeed.

“That’s it, soldier. Let it all out.” Uncle Courage gently patted my back. “If you’re looking for some magic solution from me, though, you’re gonna be disappointed.”

“R-really?” A pit formed deep in my stomach at his words.

“Eeyup. I just soldier on and bear it.” Uncle Courage shrugged, and the knot inside me tightened. “Your Dad has one of the hottest positions in the guard, you, the pups, and a grade-A Apple Pie; while he’s living the dream life, I’m stuck sniffing for a slice.”

“But… we didn’t bring any pie?” I tilted my head.

“Not that kind of pie, kiddo.” With a slap to my back, he laughed. “Some Apple Pie is too sweet for kids.”

“Just like how that applejack stuff my parents get you is apple juice only meant for adults?”

“Exactly.” Uncle Courage nodded. “The point is, you aren’t ever really going to stop feeling like your brothers are thieving little horseapples, but that’s just how siblings work. Your Aunt Star Fort was just as jealous at me as I was at your Dad, and we were all jealous of General Badass when he came along and started showing us up like he was some secret alicorn princess.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?!” I stuffed my head into the bed. “I hate feeling like this…. I hate that I hate them! I know its not their fault, but… I’m a bad sister, aren't I?!”

Uncle Courage shook his head. “I suggest you come downstairs to bake with your Grandma Billowy like you promised.” With a grin, he ruffled my mane. “She still has to do a bit of shopping with your Grandpa Skyfall, and she promised to take the twins out with her. Tempered wanted to do some board games with hot cocoa like last year, and I brought some cards for when we’re done with that. It’ll just be you, me, and your parents. No babies of any kind allowed.”

“No Zephyr either?” My ears flicked as I looked up with starry eyes.

“Eenope. The little tyke already dragged his father off to build ‘a bajillion and a half snowponies.’” The high pitched squeaky imitation of my cousin got me to laugh. “Your Aunt Dewdrops is still here, though.”

“That’s fine!” The world was just a little darker now—sweet shade almost filling the room as I smiled and got to my hooves. “As long as there’s no Zephyr I’m good!”

“Why?” My uncle’s brow arched as he clicked his tongue at me. “Is there something else you need to talk about?”

“No!” I tried not to have icky thoughts about Diamond.

“You su—”

“Yes, I’m sure! Just drop it!”

For a second, there was silence again, but it didn’t feel anywhere near as judgemental as before.

“Eh, not my kid, not my problem. Just make sure to tell your Dad when you’re ready.”

“Yes, sir!” With a quick, dutiful salute, I got one last chuckle from my uncle as we exited the attic to join everypony else waiting for us below.



The smell of cinnamon and sugar hit me like a wave as I stepped into the kitchen. The ovens were blazing; it was even warmer than the living room where Dad was snoozing by the fireplace with a bit of drool trailing onto his pillow. Mom—who was the pillow—had one twin wrapped up in each wing, but I could feel her gaze following me and only me through the door.

“Achoo!” My squeaky sneeze had Dad snort in his sleep and pull Mom closer.

“Ah, there you are, dearie!” Grandma looked up from her cookbook to beam at me. “I was starting to worry you weren’t coming down!”

“You’re not the only one….” I squirmed at the feel of Mom’s stare before shaking my head and skipping in to help. “It’s alright, Uncle Courage squared me away.”

“Mhmm.” As Grandma opened the oven to pull out the snickerdoodles, I could feel the heat wash over me. “I suppose we’re lucky Morning never had a problem with Zephyr like that, but your uncle has always been… underwhelming to say the least….”

I snorted as I headed to the sink to wash my hooves. “That’s putting it lightly.”

“Now, now, Nightingale. Don’t be like that.” Grandma tsked. “You should know by now that not everypony is cut out for greatness. Your Uncle Zephyr is a simple pony with simple dreams.”

“A little too simple sometimes….” I muttered to myself as I took to the air to hover by the counter.

“I heard that, missy.” A flick of her wing had Grandma’s spoon cutting through the air to bonk me on the nose.

“Sorry.” I winced, tongue flicking out to nab the spoonful of cookie dough she’d splattered me with.

“It’s alright….” With a sigh, Grandma hoofed me another bowl along with a recipe card for some sort of cookie. “You are your father’s daughter after all.”

“Yes, I am.” I puffed out my chest and rustled my wings before glancing at the card.

Wait…. Was this Grandma’s secret recipe?! Wow, I was expecting something more—

My brow furrowed. “Hey, Grandma! Why does this call for crushed ants?”

Grandma stumbled mid-whisk before she tittered like a moth all aflitter. “Oh me, oh my. I gave you the wrong card, didn’t I? Whoopsie!” Shiftily looking from side to side, she leaned in to whisper. “Don’t tell anypony, but all my best recipes come from those lessons your Grandma Moonshine gave me.”

“No. Way.” My mouth dropped open as I thought of all the cookies we’d stuffed ourselves with over the years. “So Uncle Zephyr’s been inhaling powdered ants all these years?! But he haaaaaaaates bugs!”

“Shhh-shhh-shhh-shhh-shhhhhhhhh!” Looking to the kitchen door as she put a hoof over my mouth, Grandma shushed me with sweet, sugary cookie dough. “That’s a secret to take to the grave, dearie. I don’t think poor Zephyr’s heart could take it.”

“Mmmmalright!” Licking Grandma’s hoof, I bounced over to the pantry and opened it. “Ah, score! They’re still bucking!” I snatched up the jar of creepy crawlies and scampered back over to the counter. “You want me to make the dough like Grandma Moonshine does too?”

“Well, I just use a bowl, but you can do it however you want.”

“Screeheeheeheehee!” My fangs gleamed sharper than a pair of crescent moons as I whipped up the dry mix in a flurry of wings and hooves.

It was quickly laid out into a bowl—a picture perfect little crater of moondust that soon met a grisly fate. An egg-shaped meteor came hurtling from nowhere—its rocky shell breaking apart on entry to have a gooey liquid center crash into the bed of the crater.

“Alien invasion!” I tipped the jar over to rain chitinous pods of black death upon the planet, crashing them all into the lake of eggy goodness. I watched them scream silently in agony as they drowned—a horseapple eating grin on my face.

Only a brave few made it to the edge of the bowl to climb out.

A brave, foalish few.

“Die invaders, die!” My hooves raised up high as I let out a vicious battle scree. “Thou shall not take my moon!” 

Descending like the Nightmother herself, my hooves pounded into the heathens like Mom beat into Dad in the ring. I crushed them, mashed them, and bled them dry—all the good bits soaking into the dough—before finally rolling it out for all the cookie cutters.

“Having fun, dearie?”

“Ah!” I was left hanging from the light above to peek down at a smiling Grandma. “Ummm… yes?” I tilted my head and gave a little giggle. “I didn’t do something wrong, did I?”

“No.” She chuckled as she pointed to the door. “But I think all your antics woke somepony up.”

I glanced over to find Dad grinning like a loon under moon. Our eyes met, and it cracked a little wider—too wide, like a deer stuck in spotlights on Bridleway.

“Screep!” I swooped to the floor and scrambled back a few steps. “Dad! How long have you been standing there?!”

“Long enough, sport.” His fangs gleamed unnaturally white. “You wanna play some board games?”

“Ummm…” I looked at Grandma for help. “I don’t know…. I haven’t really helped much yet, and I did promise to help Grandma out earlier….”

“It’s alright, dear. Go have fun with your father. I’ve held this fort on my own for a long time, one more year won’t matter much.”

“Ummm…. Okay….” Denied, I shifted from hoof to hoof, studiously studying Dad’s hooves like the most studious, little bookworm ever.

“Eyes up here, soldier.”

I cringed at how soft his voice was. “Mmm’sorry….”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, kiddo. If anything, I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.”

“But I made the twins cry again….” I shrunk in a little. “I make them cry a lot….”

“They’re foals, Night. That’s what they do.” He hesitantly came forward to reach a hoof out.

“You got mad, though; you always get mad.” My hooves clenched. “Sometimes you try to hide it, but I can always hear it in your voice.”

“Oh, my little light in the night.” Sweeping me into a big, fuzzy hug, Dad crushed me so close to him my bones cracked from the stress.

“And then you spend more time with the twins….” I nuzzled into his chest with a sniffle.

“My sweet, sweet, adorable, little filly who I could never stop loving no matter what you possibly do!”

“And I hate it! I hate when they drag you away! There! I said it!” I latched on tight and sobbed into his shaggy coat. “Please don’t be mad at me….”

“Let it all out, sport.” Dad’s massive hoof gently rubbed into my back. “I’m here for you now, and I’m anything but mad….” His wings were so nice and warm; I could hide in their shadows forever. “I am really sorry, though.”

“Nai….” In the darkness, another pair of itsy bitsy hooves wrapped around me, and I choked back the urge to cry harder.

“C-c’mere you!” I latched onto Rolling and he squeaked in protest, squirming to get out of my iron grip.

“Nai!” There was a pop, and he was suddenly gone, reappearing on my other side to timidly hug me once again. “Nai….”

“Gibda! Gibda!” The other little demon batted at Dad’s wings with a vengeance, his whining making my ears splay back as I clutched Dad tighter.

“You want me to call your mother to get them?” Dad nuzzled me as I wiped the last of my tears on his chest.

“No… I’m good….” I snuggled closer. “Do you think we’ll be able to play without the twins flipping the board or eating the pieces?”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Dad’s deep rumbling chuckle was like an earthquake going through me. “It depends on how well your Mom distracts them. Once Grandma’s done in here, though, we’ll be set for sure.”

“No offense, dearie, but I’d be done much faster if you weren’t colonizing my kitchen.”

I giggled; Dad roared with laughter; we both made our way to the living room.

“So what are you in the mood for, sport?” At some point when I’d been helping Grandma, somepony had dragged a card table into the living room and piled up a mountain of games on it. “We got Life, Ponopoly, Batty Eights—”

“Risk!” I immediately pounced on the box on the bottom—the rest of the pile threatening to topple as I claimed it.

“Keep pulling and you’ll be playing Jangha instead.” Dad grinned like a loon under moon. “So you finally got over the thrashing I gave you last time?”

“You just got lucky, and you know it.” I crossed my hooves with a huff.

“Well, considering you’ve never beaten me without your mother’s help.” His grin turned predatory.

“Hey! I’ve gotten close before!” My pout grew. “I only got mad last time cause you rolled like a bajillion sixes while I kept getting twos.”

“The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.” Dad nodded daddily. “Right, Morning?”

Mom—who had been watching with a smile—giggled but said nothing.

“What?” Dad tilted his head.

“Nothing, dear, you’re just such a dork sometimes.”

“But I’m a lovable dork!”

“Nah, you’re just a dorky dork.” Uncle Courage stretched and yawned from the spot he was hanging from, his wings flapping once or twice before he dropped to the floor. “We finally gonna start so I can kick your tempered metal butt?”

“Yeah, we are!” I hopped up and down. “We’re playing Risk!”

“Well, I guess we won’t be needing those cards of mine, then. That’s going to take all night.”

“Conquering the world the right way takes time.” With a gentle hum, Mom sweeped the rest of the games off the table to stack them besides the couch.

“Dibs on the Brumby Isles!” Aha! Now my victory was assured!



“How did I still lose, Diamond?” Twelve hours later and I still couldn’t believe it. “I had Oatstralia!”

“I don’t know, Night, but you really ought to start on your hot chocolate.” Diamond smirked at me from across our table at the cafe. “It’s gonna turn into just plain old chocolate.”

“I guess….” I glowered at the steam rising from the little opening in my styrofoam cup. “I’m so gonna get Dad next time, though.”

“I’d expect nothing less!” Diamond tittered, tilting back her cup to finish the last of it before slapping it on the table. “Ahhhhh, that was good. I think I might go grab a second one before we head out to the ice rink.”

“Already taken care of.” I screeped as Silver stepped outside to hoof Diamond another cup and toss me a silver thermos.

“What’s this?” I turned it over and around in my hooves; it was actually engraved with my cutie mark.

“Your Hearth’s Warming gift.” With a roll of her eyes, Silver sipped her second cup. “Uncle Silver said the best things to buy military brats are simple and practical.”

“I’m not a brat, I’m a Junior Guard!” I giggled as I put it in my saddlebags. “…Thank you.”

“No problem.” She waved a hoof. “It’s nothing compared to Diamond’s gift for you.

“Really?” I squirmed, putting a hoof in my bag to feel the two roughly wrapped presents. “Well… umm… I guess if we’re doing the presents now, I can give you both yours…. Although, there was kind of an accident with Diamond’s….”

“Hrmm?” Diamond blinked as I hoofed Silver her gift, my hoof retreating to protectively cradle the other one.

“Yours was, uh… a lot prettier, but it broke apart on the ride up….” I looked down with a whimper. “I tried to take it to a couple Canterlot stores to see if they could fix it, but everypony told me it was beyond repair. I had to— I had to buy you something else….”

“That’s alright, Night. It’s the thought that counts.” Diamond’s smile was as radiant as the moon.

“Is this the same filly who once demanded all her presents come in gilded boxes?” Silver arched her brow.

“The point—” Diamond fluttered her eyelashes as her smile turned into a pout. “—is that I’m sure I’ll love anything you give me.”

“Yeah, Night, go on.” Silver chuckled as she hefted her own gift a few times as if testing it. “You heard her. She wants you to give it to her.”

“Okay, then….” My hoof edged forward to hold the tiny piece of wrapping before Diamond. She took it with a smile, and my foreleg snapped back before it could regret the decision.

My eyes slowly crawled upwards to meet hers as she unwrapped it; my heart pounded as I waited for to realize what a mistake I’d made.

“Is this… a horn ring?”

“Yes!” I mewled as I shrunk in my seat. “I’m sorry! I already spent a lot on the earrings, and it was all they had left that I could afford!”

“I love it.” There was the sound of a chair scraping backwards and then there were soft fuzzy hooves wrapping themselves around me.

“Y-you do?” I pulled back momentarily to blink at Diamond.

“You know what they say.” Silver was inspecting her own new hair pin with a critical eye. “Diamonds are forever.”

“It’s cubic zirconium.” I sighed. “And Diamond doesn’t have a horn….”

“Get creative, then.” Silver’s predatory smirk and Diamond’s heated blush made my wings itch.

“I’ll get it adjusted by Amethyst back in Ponyville.” With a rough cough, Diamond suddenly pulled away from me to retreat back around the table. “Make it into an earring or something.”

“Ah, no wild nose piercings to bring back your dad?” Silver chuckled as I rustled my wings at the mere thought of Diamond doing something so… so rebellious.

“If I came back with a nose piercing, I’m pretty sure Daddy would have a heart attack.” Diamond tittered. “Still, thank you, Night. It’s beautiful.”

“You’re welcome.” I managed to crack a sheepish smile while my heart continued to pound away like a stampeding rhinoceros. “So…” I ran my hoof in circles on the table. “...what’s this super awesome gift you got me?”

“You’ll see!~” Standing up with a giggle, Diamond finished off her second cup and tossed it away with a flourish. “If you want to get your gift, we really ought to get going!~” She pranced into the street, hips sashaying back and forth as she hopped and skipped through the snow.

I blinked for a moment—staring after her until Silver stopped snickering to nudge me out of my seat. Quickly donning our scarves and earmuffs, we cantered after Diamond to catch up to her near the end of the street, and I shared my awesome new thermos with them while we walked to the ice rink.

The sound of ponies laughing and the hiss of ice skates soon filled the air as we reached the park and headed out to the pond. It was actually a bit more crowded than I thought it would be, and as I looked out at all the ponies zipping and zooping and twirling about, I felt a knot growing in my stomach.

“I thought you said nobody used this rink, Night?” Diamond sat at the edge of the ice to pull out her skates from her saddlebags. 

“I did…” I bit my lip. “…at night.”

“Teehee!” Diamond tittered. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to share. Stick close to me, alright? It’s been a while since I’ve gone skating.”

“Yeah….” I eyed all the onlookers warily as I put my own skates on. “Me too….”

I braced myself next to Diamond as she got ready to step out onto the ice. Silver had already shot off and was doing triple sows, but the two of us knew it was better to take our good, sweet time.

Well, I did, at least. When Diamond took the leap, I wasn’t quite ready yet.

“Screep!” I tripped not even two steps out onto the ice as I tried to follow her—dragging Diamond right down with me as I scrambled to grab anything to save myself.

“Careful Night!~” Silver laughed as she circled us twice to turn into a spinning leap right over us. “Ponies might get the wrong idea about our brave and fearless leader if you keep that up!~”

From my position on top of Diamond, I blushed hot enough to melt the ice. “S-shut up! So what if I’m bad at ice skating!”

“Umm… Night?”

“Yeah?” I looked down to find Diamond blushing even more than I was—her body almost radiating heat like a little star. “Oh! Sorry!” I scurried off of her as fast as I could and held out a hoof to help her up.

“No, that’s not what I—” She sighed before grabbing my hoof. “Thanks….”

“No problem!” I tried to move forward only to dangerously wobble in place. “Heheh…. Maybe I should just sit on the sideline and watch….”

“No!” Diamond clutched at my side like it was a life preserver. “Just… stay here with me. We’ll take it slow.”

I furrowed my brow.

“Please?! I’ll be here the whole time! You can’t fall if we’re holding each others hooves all the way!”

“You already did fall.” Silver snickered as she slid past.

“Not! Helping!” Diamond called over her shoulder before turning to pout at me once more.

By the Nightmother could she pout.

“Fine….” I frowned. “Just don’t look at me like that….”

“You mean it?!” Diamond vibrated as she pressed herself close against me and took my hoof in hers.

“I already said yes.” I rolled my eyes. “What more do you—”

“Wheeheehee!” The world turned into a blur as Diamond whirled me about for a few seconds. “Oh! Sorry! I’ll just, umm… stick to laps, I guess.”

“Please do.” My grip on her hoof was iron after that little display, and my wing snaked around her in a death grip.

“Teehee! Don’t you worry, Night! I’ll be the brave and fearless leader here!”

“Got that covered already.” Silver zooped past us again, snatching up Diamond’s tiara and sticking out her tongue. “Just try to keep up and maybe I’ll give it back!”

“Grrrrrrr….” A low predatory growl rumbled in the back of my throat as Silver circled back to spray us with ice. “Get going, Diamond. We’re gonna catch Silver if it’s the last thing we do.”

“But—“

“Your honor demands it!” I took a second to gesture grandly with my forehoof—a big mistake seeing as it meant letting go of Diamond’s.

“Screep!”

Several crashes and a lot more blushing later, Diamond had finally gotten us going in a loose circle around the rink.

“Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Don’t look down.” I kept my neck rigid and my eyes locked forward. “Just pretend I’m flying, and go with the flow.” My wing tightened around Diamond as I wobbled about.

“Still haven’t caught me.” Silver waggled her brows as she lapped us yet again, turning to skate backwards in front of us as we inched along. “Hey, Diamond! How much longer we got?”

“Well, we should probably leave around—” The clock tower struck two o’clock. “—now….” Diamond pouted. “Aww… but this is so much fun!”

“Squeak—” I lurched off of DIamond onto the bank. “—for yourself. I thought I’d only have to make an idiot of myself in front of you two.”

“You didn’t make an idiot of yourself!” Scooting after me, Diamond fell down beside me to start taking off her skates.

“Some would beg to differ.” Silver raced around the rink once more before sliding to a perfect stop to join us.

“Shush, you!” Diamond slugged Silver in the shoulder and reclaimed her crown, tittering as she got up to lead us once more. “Now, come on! Rarity said she’d have my order half an hour ago!”

“Your order?” I tilted my head.

“No spoilers!” Diamond laughed as she cantered ahead. Blinking at Silver’s dead fisheye face got me nothing, so I just shrugged and we cantered after her. Diamond was running full throttle, though, and a minute or two without her letting us catch back up had my wings itching terribly.

“Hop on.” I ordered Silver Spoon, spreading my wings with a few well paced flaps.

“Uh, what?”

“Hop. On.” I flapped again for good measure and angled my back to give her a solid spot to jump towards.

“Yeah, no. I don’t think so.” Silver snorted. “I prefer not breaking my legs, thank you very much.”

“Suit yourself.” With a shrug and a flap of my wings, I lifted off to catch her in a massive backdraft as I took after Diamond full speed.

“Hey—” Whatever she said was buried in snow as I left her behind.

I felt only slightly guilty about that; after all, she had a chance to hop on.

“Screeeeeeee!”

Swooping in with a battle cry, I wrapped my hooves around Diamond and lifted her with a grunt. She left the ground with a squeak—her body locking up for a moment before she looked back, saw me, and clutched me like a life preserver.

“Eeep! W-what the hay are you doing, Night?!” She buried her face in my chest. “Put me down. Put me down! Put me down!”

“Shhhh…. It’s okay, Diamond; I got you.” I nuzzled her mane while squeezing her closer to reassure her. “The only way you’re gonna fall is over my cold, dead body.”

“Mrgmfff!” She peeked up at me. “Don’t even joke about that.”

“It’s not a joke, though.” My smile shone like moonbeams. “If I want to be a Guard, I need something worth protecting. That’s what Dad always says.” As we passed the clocktower, I circled around it to get my bearings. “Now, where are we going? You mentioned Rarity, so are we heading for the Canterlot Carousel?”

“Y-yes!” Diamond’s voice cracked with an incredibly high squeak, and her face burned with a heat so fierce I could feel it. It was probably just altitude sickness.

“You okay?” I angled accordingly, setting myself on a gentle, downward slope. “I can land if it’s too uncomfortable for you.”

“No! I-I’m fine! It’s k-kinda nice up here now that I’m looking out.”

“It is a nice view, isn’t it?” I hummed as I watched ponies move like tasty, tasty ants below us. “You should see it at night sometime—all the city lights below make it feel like you’re swimming in a sea of stars.”

“Are you… offering to take me up again?” Diamond stopped craning her head about to look back up at me.

“I don’t see why not.” Why did saying that make my frogs sweat?

“A-and Silver?”

“I—” I licked my lips as her eyes fluttered like butterflies—my stomach rolled as she pouted up at me. “Something tells me Silver wouldn’t be that interested, so I guess it could be just the two of us….”

“G-good….”

Diamond shivered and drew closer to me—her teeth chattering like jackhammers in my ears. I could hear her heart pounding; or was that mine? Both maybe? Either way, I wrapped my hooves even tighter around her to give her as much warmth as I could. As I landed in front the boutique, I found myself reluctant to let go, but she nuzzled herself beneath my wing, so things ended up alright.

“Awww….” When we walked into the boutique, the mare behind the counter looked up to smile at us. “Well bust my buttons, you two are just the most adorable little couple I’ve seen all week.” She tittered as I squirmed next to Diamond. “Is there something I can help you lovebirds with?”

“We’re just—” My wriggling intensified, and I opened my mouth to correct the poor, deluded mare, but Diamond just went straight to business.

“We’re looking to pick up an order recently shipped in from Ponyville.” Diamond pulled out her purse. “The order should be for Miss Diamond Tiara.”

“Of course! The little troublemakers from Ponyville!” Her smile was picture perfect. “Miss Rarity speaks quite highly of how much quieter things are now that you two are accompanying her sister on her adventures.”

“I do my best.” I puffed out my chest.

“Yes, you do.” Diamond giggled as she made her way out from under my wing to head up to the counter. “Think of this as a reward for cutting the amount of time we spend covered in tree sap in half.”

“Huh?” I tilted my head.

“We’re picking up your Hearth’s Warming present, doofus! Why do you think I didn’t want to spoil it?!”

“But I don’t do dresses….” Instantly on guard, I glanced over the mannequines as if I could spot the lacy predator lurking in their midst.

“And as your fill— I mean good friend, I definitely didn’t get you one.” Having paid the storekeeper, Diamond sauntered back to me with a smirk. “You—” She poked my ribs. “—have been growing since last Heart’s and Hooves. Rarity agreed with me that you probably needed another dress uniform, so I’m getting you that and a little something extra.”

“Something extra?” I took a step back as I arched my brow.

“Yeah.” With a smirk, Diamond advanced in kind, keeping herself so close to me that all I could smell was her perfume. “Trust me, though. You’ll love it. Rarity went on a research spree just for you when I brought it up.”

“Fine… but there better not be any frills!” I huffed. “Where do you want me to stand, miss…”

“Sassy Saddles.” Raising a hoof to cover her mouth, the mare tittered. “But, please, just call me Sassy.”

“Miss Saddles.” I nodded to her and she giggled again.

“And I wondered why a filly your age was getting a dress uniform. Such a proper mare!” She gestured to one of the mirrors off to the side. “Why don’t you stand over there and I’ll grab your outfits.”

“Yes, Ma’am!” At least I got to show off my skills in standing still.



“So what do think, darling?” Miss Saddles pulled the last pin from my new clothes as she backed away to admire me.

“I think I looked better in the dress uniform.” I scowled at my reflection.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You look great!” Diamond sidled up to wrap a hoof around me.

“But Diiiiiamond!” My ears splayed back as I looked back down my flank. “You said you weren’t going to get me a dress!”

“That, dear Night, is a kilt.” Diamond’s smirk left my wings itching as I squirmed on the podium. “Much like your dress uniform, it has a military history—a male military history—and there would be several ponies very upset to hear you call it a dress.”

“I know what a kilt is!” I bared my fangs. “This is not a kilt!” I gestured to the soft as silk skirt with its shimmery silver and grey plaid. “It’s way too pretty to be a kilt!”

Diamond’s smirk grew wider. “And? Nothing says military wear can’t be fashionable. Rarity did a great job with it.” She fluttered her eyelashes. “I think you look beautiful.”

“Well, I don’t.” My neck burned with the heat of a thousand suns that made me want to rip my doublet right off.

“If you don’t want it, you can always just return it!~”

“No!” I bit my lip and tried to hide under my balmoral bonnet as her grin threatened to consume her entire face. “It’s a nice gift, okay? Just don’t expect me to wear it that often….”

“Whatever you want, Night.” The smirk became a radiant smile—almost too bright to bear looking at. “Is that everything, Sassy?”

“I believe so.” Unnoticed during our conversation, Miss Saddles had packed my new dress uniform and brought it up to us with a smile. “Would you care to wear your new outfit outside with you, darling? Or would you like me to box it for you as well?”

“Box please!” The room couldn’t get any hotter as I scrambled to get out of my gift. “I… I want to save it for special occasions.”

“But of course.” The shopkeeper tittered. “I’ll be back with it in a second.”

“Special occasions, huh?” Diamond arched a brow. “What kinda special occasion?”

“Things and stuff.” I wriggled like a tasty maggot under her sharp, predatory gaze before she burst into giggles.

“Fine. Keep your dark, broody secrets of the night. I’m just glad you like it.”

“Mrgmmfff….” I looked down at my hooves. “Thank you….”

“For the gift? Or for letting it go?”

“Yes….” Putting my scarf back on was a real chore with how my neck was still on fire. Thankfully, the jingling of the front door saved me.

“I’m—” Gasp. “—here!”

“Hey, Silver, what took you so long?” I glanced up to see the earth pony looking like she’d flown the Cloudsdale Grand Prix.

“I—” Gasp. “—got—” Gasp. “—lost!”

“You got lost for two hours?” I tilted my head as she finally stood to brush the snow from her raggled mane.

“No.” Adjusting her glasses, she glowered at me. “After somepony left me buried in snow, I had to go thaw myself out with hot chocolate.” Closing her eyes with a huff, she shook her head. “Well, that and I figured it would be better if I let you two have some alone time.”

Huh?

“You should have seen my spit take when the clock struck four.” Silver gave the tiniest of smirks. “I guess time flies when on sugar highs.”

“Teehee! You’re just awful sometimes!” Diamond slugged Silver in the shoulder as Miss Saddles came out with a box for my new kilt. “Have I ever told you that?”

“Yes, you’ve told me several times.” Silver flicked Diamond back with her tail. “I don’t know how I keep surprising you.”

“Umm, girls?” I shuffled from hoof to hoof. “Not to be a burden, but I should probably head back in case Grandma needs help with dinner.”

“Yeah…” Silver sighed. “…we should probably get going too, Diamond. If we don’t get back before Uncle Silver starts cooking we might end up with rations again.”

“He feeds you rations?!” I reared back in horror. “Please tell me he didn’t give you the omelet.” Latching onto Silver, I squinted into her eyes for any sign of trauma.

“He can’t cook to save his life.” Silver snorted, rolling her eyes. “Don’t worry about it, though. Diamond and I brought enough spending money that we can probably eat out for the rest of the week. Honestly, he probably needs it. I think my uncle doesn’t even remember what real food tastes like.”

“I can talk to Grandma about setting a few extra spots on Hearth’s Warming.” I squirmed as we exited the shop to begin walking back towards Silver’s place. “My Great Aunt Wispy ended up staying down south this year to stay close to Great Uncle Cirrus…. We can totally seat three more!”

“Thank you, Night.” Silver smiled. “But you know just how stubborn old soldiers can get. I don’t know if my uncle would want that.”

“Then I’ll have Mom talk sense into him.” I flashed her an extra fangy grin. “I’m pretty sure she outranks him; Nothing else is going to be open that day, and I’ll eat my kilt if I let you and Diamond go through Hearth’s Warming on nothing but rations.”

“Hey!” Diamond stuck her tongue out at me. “I just gave you that kilt!”

“Yeah, and?” I giggled. “Hearth's Warming is totally a special occasion! It would be worth eating it if it convinced your uncle to come on over!”

“You eat your kilt and I eat my ring.” Diamond growled as she slugged me in the shoulder. “You aren’t a goat!”

“No she isn’t, but she’s definitely grabbing yours.” Silver snickered at Diamond before turning back to me. “I’ll talk to my uncle about and we’ll see.”

“Yes!” I pumped a hoof. Just in time, too, as we’d made it to Silver’s uncle’s house. “Don’t worry about dressing up or anything. Grandma is super casual about her dinners.” I leapt off the ground with a flap of my wings and waved to them before flying off towards Grandma’s place. “See ya!”

“Bye!”

“Bye!”

Gliding through the air, I barely flapped a wing as I hit each chimney thermal.

“Scree-hee-hee~ Scree-hee-hee~ Scree-hee-hee-heehee~”



The kitchen counters groaned from beneath the mountain of food Grandma had been cooking over the last few days. Stacks of sugar cookies, piles of pies, and batches of brownies sat between steaming dishes of cheesy casseroles and mashed potatoes, while gravy boats swam through a sea of cricket loaves and shepherd's pie.

Candied yams and carrots bubbled merrily away with sticky white marshmallows, and three different soups simmered on the stove—the smell of not one, but two clam chowders making me lick my lips as I craned my head about. Next to the soups was an enormous bowl of salad with a basket of breadsticks and several bottles of dressing to go with it. Five different crockpots were jammed into a powerstrip grandma had plugged into the wall—two with stuffing, three with Granda’s famous cheesy potatoes.

None of that mattered compared to the real prize, however. I could smell it as it sat in the oven—cooking in its own juices and covered in pineapple, sugar, and cinnamon.

“Mmmm… ham….” It was hard to tell if Dad or I was drooling more.

“Now, now, dearies. Your special dish will be done soon enough. Have something else while you wait.” Grandma giggled. “I made more than enough for a weeks worth of leftovers.”

“But… ham?” Dad and I gave a squeaky whine as we each longingly held out a hoof towards the oven. “So rare…. So good…. So tasty….”

“Wha’s ham Gamma?” Zephyr poked his head around me to stare at the oven with us.

“Nothing you need to worry about, pumpkin.” Grandma hefted my cousin up to show him the rest of the food. “Your uncle and cousin like certain foods that other ponies find icky. You have all this other food to fill your tummy, though. Doesn’t it look delicious?”

“Yuh-huh!” Zephyr nodded vigorously as he looked about before pausing to look back at the oven. “Wha’s ham?”

“Oh, dear…” Grandma sighed. “Tempered, why don’t you take this?”

“Ham…” Dad inhaled deeply, letting the savoury aroma fill his lungs. “…is the Nightmother’s gift to all good little fillies and colts.”

“The Nightmommy?” Zephyr looked from me back to the dining room where Aunt Dewdrops was sitting. “How somepony be Night and Mommy?”

Dad let out a rumbling chuckle. “No, little Zephyr. Princess Luna: the Nightmother, Maiden of the Moon, Ruler of Shadows, and She Who Gives Us the Stars.”

“Huh?” My cousin scrunched his face. “Oooooooh! Lulu!” He puffed out his chest. “Lulu is best pwincess! She run all da monsters away!” He ran out for a minute or two only to run back in with a Princess Luna plushie. “See! Lulu!”

“Well, at least you show more sense than your father.” Dad snorted.

“Mhmm….” I idly continued to watch the oven.

“Shhh… you two…. No need to bring that old fight up.” Grandma tutted as she picked up oven mitts. “Your uncle already admitted he was wrong.”

“Not to her.” Both Dad and I growled.

“Unca Temmy? Night?” Zephyr looked back and forth between us.

“Don’t mind them, dearie. They’re just sore your father didn’t realize Lulu was best princess as fast as you did.” There was the hiss of steam and sin as Grandma opened the oven to pull the ham out, and all thoughts of Uncle Zephyr’s heresy fled my mind as the one true Hearth’s Warming dish came forth. “Now why don’t you go sit with your parents? We’re going to finally start eating soon.”

“Yaaaaaay!” Zephyr zooped back into the dining room to sit between his parents. He alternated between staring at his loaded plate and looking back towards us, vibrating expectantly as Dad and I finished loading our plates to sit down.

“Alright, everypony.” Grandma beamed at everypony as we sat. “Time’s wasting, so dig in before it gets cold!”

Dad and I briefly bowed our heads to our delicious, slow-roasted prey. “May the Nightmother guard your eternal dreams—now and forever more.”

“Psst!” Zephyr unwhispered. “Daddy! What’s Unca Temmy doin’?”

“U-u-umm…” Uncle Zephyr cast his eyes back and forth. “…y-your uncle and Night are giving thanks to Princess Luna for their food.”

“Why dun we do dat?”

“T-they have a… ahhh…” He squirmed for a good fifteen seconds. “...a different kind of friendship with the princess.”

“Huh.” Zephyr continued attacking his plate, blissfully unaware how much he was making his father sweat bullets as Dad grinned at them both like a loon under moon. “So wha’s ham?”

“E-excuse me?!” The clattering of Uncle Zephyr’s fork to the floor was met with chuckles from the rest of the table. Diamond and Aunt Dewdrops in particular were giggling like mad.

“Wha’s ham?” Zephyr pouted as he looked up. “Can I have some?”

“It’s… umm… I… ahh…” Biting his lip, Uncle Zephyr looked to Mom and Dad for help.

“Yeah, Zephy, can he have some?” Dad gave a rumbling laugh. “I’m alright with sharing.” Spearing his prey, he waved the golden-brown treasure temptingly before snapping it up. “Mmmm… ham….”

“Shush, you. Don’t start.” Mom thwapped Dad with a wing.

“Ham!” Zephyr reached out with sparkly eyes. “Pwease, Daddy?! I wan!”

“Is it… safe for him to eat?” Aunt Dewdrops put a hoof on Zephyr’s back.

“Safe?” There was a snort from down the table where Silver and her uncle sat. “It’s more than safe. Back in survival training, they used to teach us how to stomach the stuff in case we needed it.” The grizzled Silver Sword tapped his temple. “It’s all up here.”

“I remember that.” Mom smiled wistfully. “While everypony else was tossing chunks at just the thought, Tempered went to town. I don’t think that’ll be much of a problem for Zephyr, though. He seems eager enough.”

“I wan ham!” Zephyr pounded his hoof into the table with a giggle.

“See?” Mom smiled. “Just start with a piece or two and move from there.” Scooping up some crickety goodness and burying it in mashed potatoes and gravy, Mom popped it into her mouth. “Mmmm….”

“B-b-but—” The first word wasn’t even out before Uncle Zephyr melted under the weapons grade pout sent his way. “F-f-fine….” He slumped his shoulders and lowered his head. “I g-guess he can try some….”

“Yay!” Wolfing down the rest of his plate, little Zephyr zooped into the kitchen again.

“I better go make sure nothing bad happens.” Aunt Dewdrops patted the droopy pile of feathers beside her. “You just relax, dear. I’ve got it from here.”

“Thank you….” The whimpering worrywart sighed, straightening up just enough to nuzzle his wife as she got up.

“Gotta learn to say no, bro.” Dad grinned over the table as he took a bite of casserole.

“Says the pot.” Mom snorted dipping her breadsticks in the minestrone as I slurped my clam chowder. “You’re hardly any better than that with our own little bundles of joy.”

“I can say no if I really want to.” Dad rolled his eyes. “I just like spoiling my foals.” He grinned at me. “They’re too good not to.”

Heat creeped up my neck as I tried to both puff out my chest and shrink in my seat. “Really?”

“Of course!” The thunderous rumble of Dad’s laughter shook the room. “You’ve heard how much trouble me and Liquid got into as foals. You’re practically Luna’s Chosen next to us.”

“Screep!” Suddenly shrinking into my chair was much more appealing.

“So, Diamond!” Dad didn’t even have to lean around me to face her. “How did my little light in the night like her present? You make her feel like a princess?”

“Not as much as I wanted to, but she at least took the kilt.” Diamond tittered as she idly poked at her salad. “Thank you for the suggestion.”

“No problem at all.” Dad chuckled. “All I want is for my little star to be happy.”

“Daaaaaaad!” My whine nearly cracked the glass holding my juice.

I was ignored. “I do my best, sir.”

Silver snorted but said nothing as she continued eating, and for a while, everypony else followed suit. The food was good, and nopony wanted it getting cold; we simply enjoyed each other’s company as we ate. There was the occasional joke—all met with a mix of groans and laughter—but conversation rarely lasted longer than half a minute with the siren song of food calling out to fill our stomachs.

It was only when the sun had set and the night began that we all grabbed dessert and scattered conversation finally started to take hold. Mom and Dad brought out that applejack stuff Uncle Courage loved so much, and Uncle Zephyr turned white as Dad proposed a contest of some kind.

Grandma—amazingly awesome as she was—took that as a sign to make the rest of us hot chocolate, leaving us to sip it in front of the fireplace as she snoozed on the couch.

“Hey, Night.” Diamond shifted beneath her blanket as she pulled a marshmallow from the fire to make another cookie s’more. “You think you can take me out on that flight tonight?”

“What flight?” I blinked a little too long, and my own marshmallow caught fire as I pulled it out.

“You know, the one you promised the other day?” Diamond’s pout had my heart skip a couple beats. “You said you wanted me to see Canterlot at night.”

“I don’t know….” I scratched the back of my head as I glanced at the twins snoozing under Grandma’s wings and smiled when Zephyr started running in his sleep atop her back. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to leave right now. I could probably scree at the top of my lungs and Grandma wouldn’t wake up.”

“Come on, Night.” Adjusting her glasses, Silver looked up from her book. “Diamond only gushed about your first flight for hours after we got home the other day.”

“I need to be here in case the twins wake up.” Rustling my wings as I tried to ignore the urge to scratch, I felt a black inferno crawling up my neck. “Besides, it’s kinda late. I don’t want to worry Mom and Dad.”

“Sweet Celestia, you’re such a worrywart.” Silver tutted as she rolled her eyes. “You’re still freaking nocturnal, you dunce. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it.”

“I guess….” My forehooves fiddled with the ground.

“Look.” Silver stared into my soul with hawkish intensity. “Just go if you think they’ll say no. You’re a big filly, now.” She grimaced. “I’ll look after the little monsters.”

“Go without permission?!” My voice cracked from how high I squeaked.

Had she learned nothing in the Junior Guard?! The chain of command didn’t work like that!

“Do I need to repeat myself?” Silver scoffed. “Look, are you going or not?” Glancing at the twins as they babbled in their sleep, she shivered. “I’ll even—” Gag. “—change their diapers if you want.” She pointed to Diamond. “Look at that face and tell me you can say no.”

I looked over to find the biggest, most heart-stopping eyes I’d ever seen pierce straight down into my soul.

“Pwease?” Diamond’s lower lip quivered as a single, perfect tear slid down her face.

“Hrrrk!” I fell back, clutching my chest. “Have— Have you been holding out on us?”

“Eeeyup.” Silver smirked. “The other crusaders don’t have anything on that.”

“I— I—“ I made the mistake of looking back. “Fine…. But I’m still asking. I’ll—” I gulped. “I’ll sneak out with you if they say no.”

“Which they won’t.” Silver snorted. “So hop to it. I only got so long until the bombs drop.”

Slinking over to the dining room, I peeked inside to find all the adults rosy-cheeked and laughing. “Dad? Can… can I go out for a little late night flight with Diamond?”

The laughter paused for a moment.

“With Diamond, sport?” Dad looked to Mom for a moment, grinning.

“Yeah… I kinda promised her one….” I squirmed so hard as everypony looked at me. “I— I promise I won’t drop her!”

Dad chuckled as Mom nodded to him. “Of course you won’t. Go get her, tiger.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about it!” He slapped the table with a laugh. “You’re not the one doing the hunting!”

“Okay, then.” I slunk back to the others with my brow furrowed. “Parents are weird….”

“Let me guess.” With a roll of her eyes, Silver snapped her book shut and got up. “They said yes without any kind of fuss.”

“No! Well, yes.” I grinned sheepishly. “But they were really…” I couldn’t find the words. “…weird about it.”

“It’s almost like they know something you don’t.” Silver’s face was so flat it could have been a stop sign.

“You think?” My ear flicked as I tilted my head.

“Only way to find out is to stop stalling and go on that flight.”

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” I flailed as she pushed me towards the door. “I’m going! I’m going! Why is everypony being so weird about this?!”

“Maybe you’re the one being weird about it, Night.” Diamond giggled as she trotted towards the door. “Is there another reason you don’t want to fly with me?”

“No!” My response was so fast, I blinked. “No?”

“Then let’s go!” Her smile was radiant as she grabbed my hoof and pulled me out the door.

“Shouldn’t we get—” The door slammed shut. “—scarves?” I looked at Diamond who kept on smiling even as her teeth chattered and she started shivering. “Stay close.”

Pulling her close with one wing, I cast my gaze for a good cloud to land on. It took a minute or two with the sky so clear, but once I had a target in my sights, I wrapped my hooves around her and leapt skywards.

“Woah….” Both Diamond and I exhaled as we looked out on the city. The higher I climbed, the darker the city below became; all the details of the walls and buildings faded into a soft mishmash of greys like the sky above, and we swam through the endless night.

Diamond’s heart thudded so hard I could feel it beating against my chest—my own heart beating just as hard as I pulled her closer for comfort. There was a swarm of stomach butterflies eating me up like a bunch of locusts, and my frogs started sweating so hard I was worried I might drop her.

The words of Silver and my parents rang again in my head, and I scrunched my face as we cleared the cloud and I flipped over. “Maybe they do know something I don’t….”

“What was that, Night?” Diamond looked back at me, ear flicking.

“Hold on tight and try not to scream.” I grinned as I wrapped my wings around her and we fell onto the cloud below.

“Eeep!” She squeaked, burying her face in my chest as gravity took hold. The fwump of the cloud shocked her right back to reality though, and when she looked up to see where we were, she hit me. “Night! That wasn’t funny!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It was hilarious.” I pulled out Dad’s dadliest of grins, hoping Diamond’s giggle would slow my speeding heart.

“I wouldn’t quite call it that.” Diamond smirked at me for a moment before casting her gaze past me and over the cloudline at the city below. “It’s just as beautiful as you said it was.”

“As beautiful as the sky above.” I kept my own eyes looking up.

“You’d certainly be the expert on that, wouldn’t you?” Craning her head back, Diamond hummed. “You know, I never really bothered with stargazing before.”

“Some of the best nights when I lived here were when Dad took a day off to go stargazing.” I closed my eyes and let out a few clicks to savour just how little sound came back.

“Maybe you and I need to go stargazing then.” She shivered and I wrapped my wings tighter.

“I‘d like that.” I could hear the smile in her voice, and it made mine grow.

Lying there, I let the silence take us for a few minutes. Only when Diamond was shivering hard enough to let me hear the rattle of her teeth did I open my eyes to end the ride.

“Alright, time to go.”

“I don’t wanna….”

“You’re going to freeze if I leave you up here any longer.”

“I still don’t want to….”

“Just hold on tight. We can always do this again next year.”

“Promise?” She latched onto me tighter than I was expecting, driving most of the air right out of my lungs.

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

I smirked at the ensuing giggle as I raised my hind hoof to buck the cloud beneath us.

Our descent was quiet as a flittermouse as I glided us in circles above the city, letting Diamond soak every last second in as the ground approached. By the time we reached the ground, even I was starting to shiver.

“Thank you, Night. For everything.”

Outside on the doorstep, I was hugged tighter than I was ever hugged before; my shivers vanished as Diamond squeezed the stuffing out of me, and when she leaned back to look at me, my face was suddenly hotter than the sun.

“Do… do you know why the others were being so weird?”

“I do.”

“Does… does it have to do with something icky and contagious?”

“It might.”

“How… how do I get rid of it?”

“Look up, and I’ll tell you.” She lifted my gaze upwards to show me a sprig of mistletoe that definitely hadn’t been in the doorway when we left. “You don’t.”

I didn’t even have time to flinch before Diamond ambushed my lips, and both our heartbeats spiked as she pulled me close. I watched her, wide-eyed, as she melted into me—my wings rustling like mad. So much adrenaline was pumping through me, it felt like the world was exploding.

Nightmother protect me; I had never had a nightmare that filled me with such sehnsucht.

Pulling back far too soon, she watched me for the longest moment, but I couldn’t move, or speak, or even think. Diamond sighed, eyes downcast as she went to move past me and go inside—the quiver in her voice worse than a spear to the chest. “Merry Hearth’s Warming.” 

And I stood still and took it.

I was left in the cold for what felt like hours, though the clocktower only said it was a couple of minutes. Then Silver stepped out to glower at me, and my blood ran even colder.

“You have until the count of ten.”

In an instant, I was gone and into the cold, lonely night; the north star my only guide as I fled into the cover of darkness.
> Penultimate Penumbra
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deep in the darkest recesses of my innermost sanctum, I brooded.

“Hey, sport! You wanna come out of the closet and have a snowball war?”

“No….” I said it quietly, but I knew Dad would hear it all the same.

“We can give the rest of the Dawn Guard a good whooping!”

Huffing quietly, I muttered under my breath. “In the darkness, she brooded.”

“Well, alright then….” Dad’s voice came quietly from the other side of my closet door, and the soft cloud warped inwards as he rested his hoof upon it. “We’ve got a sitter coming over for the twins, so you can take all the time you need.”

“Thanks….” I held out my own hoof to meet his.

“Try not to overthink it, though.”

“Huh?”

Instead of answering, Dad pulled his hoof back, and I was left to listen to the soft fwumping of his retreat. “Let’s get ready, Morning. I don’t think we’ll be talking her down any time soon.”

“She can’t just keep avoiding everypony, Tempered….” Mom’s whisper made me flinch. “What about—”

“Shhhhh…. She can still hear us. Let’s not make it any worse.”

“Don’t you shush me, you lunkhead. How can you just expect us to up and walk away like a—” My eyes went wide as Mom said several of Dad’s most colorful words. “She needs us.”

“No, she needs time,” Dad rumbled. “We should give it to her.”

“You’ll be doing more than sleeping on the couch if you’re wrong….”

Their voices faded as they left my room to go get ready. A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. And it rang. And it rang. Whoever my parents had gotten had the hooves of a master musician; their manic button pressing was quickly filling my head with one doozy of an earworm, and it only got catchier as Dad opened a window to roar down at the porch below.

“Quit ding-donging, you ding-dong! We’ll be down in a sec!”

“Okie-doki-loki!”

Nightmother, protect me. Anypony but her….

Shrinking further into the darkness, I hung still and strained my ears for any hint of my parents heading down to get the sitter. “Please not the Pink Demon. Please not the Pink Demon. Please not the Pink Demon.”

A single, brilliant, blue eye came swimming out of the darkness. “Ooh! Ooh! Are you ready to have a good time?”

“Eeeeeeeeeee!” Falling to the floor, I scrabbled to my hooves and ran through the door. “Moooooooom! Daaaaaaaad! She’s out to get me!”

“Oh! Are we playing Tag?” Pinkie danced on her hooves as she looked about like there would be some other pony in my closet. “I’m it!”

“Grrrr….” Dad rumbled like thunder as I retreated behind him and Mom. “Miss Pie… we told you we were coming down to get you. You didn’t have to do—” He looked back at me to see me peeking out from Mom’s shadow. “—whatever it is you did.”

“Aww… but I was just trying to help put a smile on her face!”

Dad ground his fangs with so much force that it sounded like he’d put a whetstone to steel. “There are other ways to do that than scaring her to death.”

“Silly filly! Sometimes it’s fun to be scared! It’s all just part of the game, right, Night?” She looked past Dad to beam at me with teeth as white as the sun. “I’m the Pink Demon, after all. Rawr!” She flailed her hooves only to pause at the sight of me sinking deeper in Mom’s shadow. “Awww, kumquats….” With a sudden and piteous whine, she visibly deflated like a balloon, and I peeked a bit further out. “Sorry, Mister Mettle….”

There was the sound of grinding for a few more moments before Dad sighed. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

“Maybe I should go? If I run superty-duper fast, I can go get somepony else to help.”

“No, Pinkie. It’s alright.” Mom walked forward, dragging both her shadow and me with her. “Just… cut back on the surprises a bit more. You know how Night is.”

“Roger dodger!” With a poompf, Pinkie popped up to snap a hoof to her forehead; there was the sound of confetti cannons firing a twenty-one gummy salute, and she leaned down to tweak my nose. “Apology boop!”

I sneezed violently at the contact, and stared at the pile of confetti that came out.

Mom and Dad chuckled at the sight, and I hesitantly giggled; the more I giggled, the better I felt, and the louder I let it get.

Then Red Dawn made his ambush.

I let out an oof as the pint-sized, feathery missile slammed into my side to nuzzle the stuffing out of me. He knocked me right out of Mom’s shadow and into a tumble along the fluffy floor.

“Nai! Nai!”

“Screep! Ahaha! No! Stop it, Red! Stop! Screeheeheehaahaa!” I rolled about, trying to get him off as his wagging tail and buzzing wings assaulted my ribs.

“Tickle fight!” The Pink Demon went in for the kill.

“Wha— No! Screeheeheehaahaaheeheehaahaahaahaa!”

“Nai…?” A small, shadowy portal opened in the wall to the twin’s room to let Rolling tumble out and to the ground. He wobbled to his hooves, and blearily blinked about with his blanky in one hoof. “Nai….” His eyes locked on me and Red—a few more blinks being needed to figure out exactly what he was seeing—before he started shambling forward in a sleepy zigzag. “Nai!”

The last few trots had him break into a canter as he dropped the Princess Luna plushie snuggled under his foreleg. He leapt to tackle me like the others, and Mom and Dad did nothing to stop him.

“Dad! Mom! Help!” I waved a hoof at them from beneath the pony pile, but no help came for me in my time of need.

“Seems like you have things handled, sport.” Dad chuckled as he wrapped his wing around Mom. “I think we’ll just be going, don’t you dear?”

“Yes, dear, I do.” Mom winked at me and pecked Dad on the cheek. “Now certainly seems like the perfect time.”

No, no, no, no, no! They couldn’t leave me to this! I didn’t deserve to laugh after hurting—

‘Merry Hearth’s Warming.’

‘Merry Hearth’s Warming.’

‘Merry Hearth’s Warming.’

My heart lurched every time the words rang in my head; the spear in my chest kept lodging itself deeper and deeper, twisting in ways I didn’t know my heart could twist. I couldn’t! I shouldn’t!

“No!”

I melted into the shadows and crawled back into my closet with a pop. The twin’s cries carried into my room as I quickly shoved most of the door back in place, and that only made my ears flatten more as I curled up in the back. Looking up at my hanging pole with a sniffle, I decided it just wasn’t worth it, and I buried my head in the clouds beneath me to sob for the millionth time that week.



“Hey, Niiiiiiiight!~” There was a fwoofy knock on my closet door. “Dinner’s ready! You all done being a frumpy dump sad face and ready to come out and play with us?!”

“No!” My stomach growled in betrayal even as I hissed.

“No, huh? Then what’s that rumbling?!” Pinkie giggled as she retreated. “It’ll be waiting for your stomach in the kitchen—all alone and totally not guarded by the Pink Demon and her little cupcakes!”

Lies.

The soft thwumping of pronking Pink ponies on clouds faded back into silence, and I opened the door just a crack to check if my room was empty. It seemed to be, but this was the Pink Demon we were talking about.

Grabbing one of my old blindballs, I rolled it into the center of the room and waited. There it sat as I stared and waited for the other horseshoe to drop. When no Pink hoof popped out of the floor to claw at it like a zombie, I sighed, but that did nothing to ease my nerves.

“Going commando it is.” I stood and stretched, ears perking at the the sound of my joints giving a good pop.

My hoof worked its way into the wall as I fished for my target—one of the small cavernous series of vents that helped keep the house from falling apart. If I was lucky, I’d hit the convection tunnel. If I wasn’t— My hoof hit empty air: cold, dank, and horribly wet, it cut into my foreleg on razor-like winds as I shivered.

“Of course the saturation vent is here….” I looked longly back at the door.

Dad probably put all the convection tunnels near my bed. It would only be a hop, a skip, and a jump to head out into my room and reach them, but—

A lone giggle made its way into the darkness.

“Yeah, no.” I braced myself before burrowing into the wall and pulling myself into the second most miserable tunnel I’d ever been in.

I turned soggy in seconds as all the spare moisture in the house blew past me on its way to the reservoir clouds. There was barely enough space for me to rustle my wings in discomfort, and I was forced to squint as I climbed. The downdraft was as bad as the death of a thousand cuts, although it honestly could have been worse.

No updraft meant my butt was safe! And that was a real victory for my morale.

Eventually, I made it to a turn that had me crawling into the ceiling. I squirmed along until I hit a patch of cloud that was way warmer than the rest of the tunnel, and I sighed in relief as I burrowed my way into the convection vent. I had to be careful not to leave any cracks in the wall behind me, but it was worth it for that warm, toasty goodness.

“Thank the Nightmother.” I flopped down into the cloud for a minute or two to let good old convection do its job. “Alright… time for a scouting mission.”

Poking my head through the vent’s floor, I found myself looking over my room. The blindball was still sitting there, menacingly. The bed was square; my recruitment posters were squarer. Everything were perfectly pristine and un—

Wait a minute. Some of my posters were different…. What had she—

“Son of a sun witch!” The Pink Demon had struck while I wasn’t looking! She’d switched my Princess Luna posters for... Cadance ones? The monster!

“Oh, goody gumdrops! Night, you came out of the closet!” As the Pink Demon began to open my door, I uttered a bad dad word and pulled myself up, sealing the hole I left behind. “Teehee! I heard that, you naughty little filly! Good thing I always carry a few soap flavored cupcakes! Now, where are you?”

I didn’t even breathe.

“Oh, Niiiiiiiight?!~ Niiiiiiiight?!~ Come out! Come out! Wherever you are! Teehee! Are you under the bed?!” There was the flapping and fluttering of all my blankets being sent everywhere. “Awww! Maybe you’re behind the curtains!” The curtain rod shrieked as Pinkie let the accursed sun into my room. “Darn!” The curtains thankfully closed before Rolling showed up. “Niiiiiiiight! Don’t tell me you hid back in the closet! I’m not gonna bite!”

I bit my lip, but said nothing.

“Grrrrrrr….” Pinkie’s high pitched growl sounded anything but intimidating, but I still felt felt my hackles rising. “Fine… be that way…. You’re a mopey-dopey, gluten free loonygoon, you know that?!”

I tilted my head and mouthed the word loonygoon as she quietly stomped out of my room. Taking a second to collect myself, I flinched as my stomach roared for attention—my ears flicking to see if Pinkie came back. I slowly started working my way through the vents again, until a series of giggles below me made me freeze.

“Pai! Pai! Nai! Nai!” There was the clack of plastic as my brothers laughed below me.

A new feeling clawed at my stomach as Pinkie schnortled, and I poked my head through the ceiling to see her hosting a tea party with the twins. With the sun going down, they were now both stomping about—hooves on the table, tossing cups everywhere. Red’s wings buzzed gleefully, while Rolling had his fangs sunk into his squeaky, sun witch chew toy.

“Ohohohoho! Why yes, I do know you wish your sister was here, but she is most busy with her business in the land of Noneya!”

Pinkie was wearing one of those extra frilly dresses from forever ago—the ones ancient daydwellers always wore in paintings when they wanted to look as snooty as possible. A fluttering fan hid her face as her obnoxious laughter continued, and she pretended to fill everypony’s cups again as she righted them.

My face scrunched as it fought to both smile at my brothers and frown at the Pink Demon, but my chest swelled with pride as the twins slapped the cups down again. When Pinkie fell back onto the couch to wail and moan about wasted tea, they tag teamed her like the smart little troopers they were, and Pinkie fell in an onslaught of giggles.

I mean, really. Tea parties? She so deserved it.

“Teeheeheeheeheehaahaa! Alright, alright! I get it, you two! We can play a different game!” Pinkie hugged the little balls of fluff. “We can do tag or peekabo or hide and seek or ticklewars!” She held up Rolling to blow a raspberry on his stomach.

“Screeheeheehaahaa!”

“But we’re going back to the frilly tea party if you try to bother your sister again!”

Wait. The tea party was a punishment? Wasn’t that cruel and unusual?

“Pai! Pai! Nai! Nai! Gibda nainai!” Rolling suffered another tummy raspberry for his defiance, giggling like a loon under moon as he squirmed in Pinkie’s hooves.

A more subdued Red yawned, casting his head back with a mighty squeak. He stopped and blinked as his eyes hit me in the darkness, and he tilted his head, ear flicking as he squinted in the candlelight.

“Nai?”

Son of a sunwitch. The little bugger was sharp.

Raising a hoof to my mouth, I silently tried to shush him. Pinkie and Rolling were still distracted and—

No, no, no, no, no! Don’t smile at me like that! That smile always means nothing but trouble!

Wings buzzing, Red tried and failed to get any liftoff. “Naiaiiiiiaiiiiiiagh….” He yawned, half-raising a hoof towards me. As the yawn peetered out, he wildly shook his head, ears flapping like a mausebär. Stumbling towards Pinkie Pie, he butted his head into her side, blinking at her blearily as he pulled back.

“Pai pai….” He poked Pinkie with a hoof even though she was already looking down at him. “Nainaiaiiiiiiaghhhhhhh!”

I almost retreated as he started to look at me, but it turned into a squirmy stretch as he yawned yet again. The grandfather clock started chiming out the seven o’clock toll, and Pinkie giggled as it made Red startle and wobbily glance about.

“Looks like sompony finally tired themselves out. Are you ready for bed, Red?”

“Mrgmmmmf….” Red barely answered as Pinkie picked him up and put him on her back, curling up into a little ball instead. “Nai….”

“I’m sure you’ll see her tomorrow….” Pinkie sighed as she headed out into the hall and down towards the twins’ room. “Your Auntie Pinkie Pie is on the case after all.”

Auntie Pinkie Pie? Nuh-uh. No way. Not gonna happen on my watch.

“Nai!”

Son of a sunwitch. I forgot to keep my eye on Rolling.

“Ama hunnrrrrrrrrrrr!” His snarl was ferociadorable; his melting into the shadows was not. “Rawrrrrrrrrrr!”

“Ah, fewmits.” I hastily pulled my head back as Rolling popped into the vents.

“Rawrrrrrrrrrr!” His size was an advantage in the cramped tunnel, allowing him to tackle me unhindered while I could do little more than crawl.

“Ah! Rolling, no! No biting! I can barely move in here! You might hit something important!” Flailing about as much as I could, I finally managed to boop his snarling muzzle and he instantly turned docile.

“Gibda.” He latched onto me like my hoof was a true blue moonpie, slobbering all over it even as he hugged the stuffing out of it.

“Well, that was way easier than putting Pound and Pumpkin to bed! I can’t believe Mettle and Morning were wor—” The floofy sound of pronking on clouds stopped mid sproing. “Where did Rolling go?”

“Pai pai!” Rolling spat out my hoof and looked around before I could shush him. “Pai?”

“Are you… inside the vents?” Pinkie’s chuckle was much weaker than normal. “Oh Celestia, you are, aren’t you? Heheh…. That’s definitely a new one. Don’t worry! I’ll get you out in a sec!” Her shouting turned to a much more worried whisper. “As soon as I figure out where you are….”

“Nai!” Rolling puffed out his little chest. “Nai, pai, nai!”

“Well, that makes things easier!” Pinkie giggled. “Oh, Nightingale!~ Somepony is coming to see you!~”

I shoved my forehoof in Rolling’s mouth again before he could say anything else to the Pink Demon, and raised my other hoof to my lips. “Shhhhhhhhh… Hunters are supposed to be quiet, Rolling.”

“Ama hunrrrrrrrr.” The little growl he made trying to say that had me smiling ear to ear.

“Yes, you are, and you know what hunters do?” I shuffled about so my face was looking right into his as my stomach roared and I licked my lips. “They hunt dinner. I’m hunting dinner right now, but I have to be verwy verwy quiet to avoid the Pink Demon. Can you do that, Rolling?”

His face scrunched and his mouth opened as I took my hoof away, but he didn’t say anything else that would give our position away—instead deciding to nuzzle me.

“Nai….”

“I love you too, little guy….” It was difficult in the cramped spaces of the convection vent, but I managed to both hug him and nuzzle him back.

“Ahhhhhh! Nightingale’s missing too! Tempered and Morning are going to kill me!” There was the rushing of hooves beneath us and the front door opened and closed. “Cannonball!” My ear flicked at the whistling of a Pink bomb dropping to the ground far below, as well as the lack of any splat noises or panicked screaming from anypony else.

“Don’t question it, Nightingale.” I shivered. “It’s just Pinkie being Pinkie. Just keep your eyes on the prize, and get to the kitchen and back in the closet before she gets Mom and Dad.”

For Rolling’s sake, I stayed in the vents and made a game of getting to the kitchen. We stalked through the tunnels, waggly butts in the air; every few trots I’d bury my head through the ceiling to make sure we were on the right path.

The siren smell of dinner made its way up through the clouds as we made it to the kitchen—something with crickets and ants—and I couldn’t help drooling as I headbutted a hole in the vent big enough for me to drop down onto the floor in a crouch.

My tail flicked back and forth as I cast my gaze about, not knowing if the Pink Demon had tried to trick me with an ambush or a trap. The coast was clear, however, letting me signal my backup with a click.

“Screeheeheeheehaa!” Rolling couldn’t stop his battle cry from becoming a giggle as he dove on my mark, swooping down to bare his fangs at an empty kitchen. “Rawrrrrr!”

Giggling as he snarled, I sucked in a breath so I could show him how it was really done.

“Rawr!” I flared my wings and let my fangs glint in the candlelight.

“Rawr!” He posed like Dad did—smirking and swiping his hoof.

“Rawr!” I let my shadow flow forth to consume the small candles Pinkie had left lit in shadows.

“Rawr!” He batted at me again with his hooves, and I sucked in another breath.

“Teehee!” I froze for a moment, then leapt back to scan the kitchen again.

That hadn’t been my giggle.

Opening the cupboards, I searched for any sign of Pink lurking in the shadows. The fridge and freezer were next—because Pinkie Pie was just that crazy—and when the coast was still Pink free, I frowned and shook my head.

The smell of crickets and ants finally drew me to the stove and the final potential ambush spot; for Pinkie had left me a ginormous, covered silver platter, and it was under it I found—

“Mmmmm… pancakes….” My stomach purred as the smell fully hit me, and I shuddered at the sweet, fluffy goodness before me.

Chocolate-critter pancakes: my favorite!

My stance foalishly slackened as I licked my lips and picked up the still steaming, freshly buttered hotcakes. I skipped to the dining room with my prize, setting it down before I headed back to grab some syrup from the cupboards. A quick trip to the fridge scored me a glass of B Positive and a bottle of milk for Rolling, and I swept the growlly, giggling, little bugger up to carry him to my little feast.

“Just gotta put away the milk, and those pancakes are all—”

I opened the fridge to find a manically smiling Pink Demon.

“Pai pai!” Rolling squirmed on my back.

“Pinkie Pie!” The demon giggled.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I was wondering when my lungs were gonna start listening to my brain. Too bad my stomach roared before I could melt into the shadows; it broke my concentration, and left me trembling before the Pinkest of ponies.

I sank into the clouds in defeat as Pinkie Pie booped my nose. “Tag, you’re it!” Giggling like a loon under moon, she pulled herself out of the fridge. “I’m the best at hide and seek!” Putting her hoof on my shoulder, she guided me back to the dining room. “Now how about you have a talk with your good old Auntie Pinkie Pie while you’re eating.”

“Y-you’re not my aunt.” I almost pulled myself into the shadows again, but Pinkie’s grip was firm, and the pancakes smelled so good.

“Call me Uncle Pinkie Pie, then, cause you and I are gonna have a talk whether you want it or not!” She sat me down before pronking around to sit across from me with a grin.

Her hoof somehow managed to stay on my withers the whole time, but I ignored it as I tore into my pancakes like a wild animal. Fluffy cake so moist it melted in my mouth gave way to crunchy ants and grasshoppers as I attacked my prey with savagery. My stomach purred as it finally received the food it desired; the feeling was a welcome distraction from the Pink monstrosity behi— in front of me.

“So!” Pinkie leaned forward, and I pulled my plate a bit closer. “Hiya!”

”Mrgmff….” One last bite had me licking the plate clean. “Hi….”

“You ready to talk?”

“About what?”

“Your Pinkie Promise, silly!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Looking away, I pulled Rolling off my back and hugged him while he sucked on his bottle.

“Yes, you doooo-oooo!~” Pinkie pulled out a crayon-drawn picture of me and Diamond on a cloud. “You promised you’d take Diamond up stargazing again next year! You can’t break a Pinkie Promise!” She pointed to my signature in the lower corner. “It’s in the contract!”

“I didn’t sign that….” I pulled Rolling so close he squeaked. “How do you even know? Are you actually a demon?”

“Uncle Pinkie Pie always knows!” She set the drawing before me and tapped it. “Always.”

“Well, you can forget it, then, cause it’s none of your business! That was between me and Diamond!” I quickly nuzzled Rolling as he flinched from my outburst. “It’s not like I won’t do it…. I promised her I would….”

“Oh, reeeeeeally?” Pinkie leaned in again. “Cause it looks like you’re just being a mopey-dopey, grumpy, no-fun, sad face.”

“Maybe I just don’t wanna be happy right now.” Rustling my wings, I frowned. “Not after hurting—” With a shake of my head, I tried to get up only for Pinkie’s hoof to bat me back down. “I don’t have to talk about this with you….”

“But what if the Friendship Table was all, ‘Put up the Pinkie Signal!’ and I was all, ‘Huuuuuh! My Tushy Sense is tingling!’”

“…Did the table actually call you here?” My ears splayed back.

“Maybe…” For just a moment, Pinkie looked away. “But I don’t need that silly old table to see you’ve got a friendship problem! As your Uncle Pinkie Pie, it’s my duty to help you through this!” She threw up her forelegs, and for a moment I was finally free from the hoof that should not be.

“Well, talk to me after you’ve broken your best friend’s heart.” I snorted, managing to get out of the chair in my brief moment of freedom.

“Nai!” Rolling’s quivering voice stopped me a few stomps before the door, and my face scrunched up for what felt like ages before I returned to the table with a sigh.

“What do I do, Pinkie Pie? It feels like everything is falling apart….” I sunk into my shadow with a whimper. “How am I supposed to face the others?”

“Huh? Whataya mean by that?” Pinkie’s head ticked sideways.

“I don’t want to make them pick between me and Diamond….” Scuffing the shadows beneath me, I dared to look up. “They were Diamond’s friends first.”

“But they’re your friends too! Why do you think they gotta pick and chose? It’s not like you and Diamond can’t still be friends.” She leaned so far over the table that I saw nothing but white and blue. “Or is that what this is all really about? You know you can still be friends, right?”

“I don’t think…” I bit my lip. “How would that even work? Just thinking about her makes me feel like I’m being eaten inside out by butterflies. It’ll be all weird and awkward….”

“Weird and awkward is better than hurting and alone!” Pink hooves latched onto my shoulders. “Filthy has me delivering full batches of Tiaramisu left and right! The last time I delivered that much was back when the crusaders got their cutie marks! She was terrified Silver wouldn’t ever want to be her friend again!”

“Well, what do you want me to do?!” I flinched back, pulling the silent, puppy-eyed Rolling with me.

“Get off your batty watty butt and give her a big hug! Let her know you still want to be friends!”

“But I—” My heart thumped so hard it jumped into my throat. “I don’t know if I want to just be friends….” Pinkie blinked, but I barely noticed as I squirmed beneath her. “I… The kiss wasn’t totally icky, okay!”

There. I said it. Screwing my eyes shut, I waited for the inevitable.

“So you…” Pinkie’s pause was not encouraging. “You liiiiiiiiiiiiike her?”

“Y-yes?!” My squeak was so high-pitched it made Rolling release his bottle to hiss. “No!” I quickly corrected only for not-so-icky images to flash through my mind. “I-I don’t know!”

“Well, you need to tell her that then, silly.” When the Pink hug came, I didn’t back away. “Silly filly! You aren’t gonna find out just sitting in your room!”

“I… I need to tell her.” Taking a deep, I finally let go of Rolling. He had tears threatening to burst from his eyes, and was whimpering a little as he looked up from his forgotten bottle, so I nuzzled him until he was quietly sucking again.

“Alright, Captain Pie. Mission accepted.”

Pinkie finally fell back in her seat to roll around, gigglesnorting. “Snerk! Teeheeheehaahaa! Captain Pie! Ah, I haven’t been called that since my stint in the navy!”

“Well, that explains every—” I bit my lip and squirmed as Pinkie pulled an eyepatch, a bandana, and four peg legs from her mane—belting out a sea shanty in a rich, daddly bass like she was the king of the sea. “Okay, maybe that just raises more questions.” I sighed, getting up and off my haunches to stretch. “I’ll be back as fast as I can, Pinkie. Let Mom and Dad know where I went if they get back first. And thanks….”

“Oooookie, doki, loki!” Pinkie’s grin could have eaten my sheepish little smile for breakfast. “Just try not to stay out too laaaaate!~”

“I just literally said I would be back ASAP.” Frowning as Pinkie winked at me, I rustled my wings. “Besides, I still need to do my biology homework before break ends.”

“Pffft!” Pinkie laughed so hard she fell to the ground and clutched her side.

“What?” My frown deepened.

“Nothing! Heeheehee! Maybe you should— Teeheehaahaahaa! Maybe you should take your textbook with you and study biology with Diamond!”

“No….” I looked down. “I’ve been worrying Mom and Dad enough as it is. The least I can do is try to be back before they get home.”

“Teehee! Go on, then!” As her giggles finally quieted, Pinkie got up and walked around the table to grab Rolling. “Uncle Pinkie Pie’s got the fort down pat.”

Rising on my hind hooves to give Rolling one last hug before I set out, I wrapped my hooves around both him and Pinkie Pie. Demon that she was, she immediately started vibrating with violent, savage, hugthirsty glee—barely holding off on exploding in a shower of fireworks until I had slunk out the door and into the night.

“Eeeeeeeeee!”

I had to break into a hover and clutch at my ears as the house ballooned out behind me with a boom. The shockwave sent me flailing end over end, and left a pair of very awake and crying twins in its wake.

“Ooops….”

“Maybe I should—” I started to circle back only to shake my head. “No. No distractions.” Looping around the house, I aimed myself towards Diamond’s place. “I’m a mare on a mission right now.”

The sky was empty as I flew, full of nothing but rumbling storm clouds that promised the mother of all blizzards later around midnight. The few ponies below me rushed to get home as the freezing wind picked up, but I kept my pace slow and steady despite being buffeted on all sides.

It took a good ten minutes of struggling through the sky before Diamond's mansion finally came into view. I was tempted to just swoop down and be done with it with how the weather kept getting worse, but crashing already was not an option.

Not now. Not when I was so close.

I banked down in circles, slowly losing altitude with each lap of the house. A quick glance revealed Diamond’s light was on, and I fell into a canter as I finally hit the snow. I raced to the door and knocked on it. My breath misted with every pant as I stood there and waited, squirming as the doorknob finally turned.

But it wasn’t Diamond who answered.

It was Silver who opened the door—her dull, dead fish eyes passing right through me like I wasn’t there. The door slammed shut, and I frowned and knocked again. A lengthy pause followed, but I knew she was still there; I hadn’t heard her trot away from the door. Finally, the door opened again, and I braced myself for the storm to come.

Ears splayed back as my hello died in my throat; Silver narrowed her gaze at me, and my instincts were quick to respond. My wings rustled with the urge to break open and fly away, but I stood my ground and squirmed. We stared at each other—neither willing to break the silence—until Silver finally sniffed.

“You look like you’ve been through Tartarus.” Adjusting her glasses, Silver glanced over my sweaty, disheveled, ice-crusted coat and mane. “Good!”

The door slammed shut again.

“Aww… come on, Silver!” I knocked so hard I almost kicked the door down.

“No! Go away! I’m not letting you make things worse!”

My shoulders slumped, and my head sunk as I slunk back out into the snow. Glancing up at Diamond’s window again, I grimaced, but knew I had no other option.

The wind howled even louder than before as I took off—batting me this way and that way like Rolling with his chew toys. I didn’t even get a chance to knock on Diamond’s window; it just threw me into the wall.

“Screep!”

“What—” There was a sniffle from the other side of the wall. “What was that?”

“Just the wind, Diamond. Just the wind.” I brought my face around to the window just in time for Silver to shut the curtains on me with a scowl.

“Darn it, Silver!” I slammed a hoof on the windowsill “Let me in! Diamond! Diamond! Can you hear me?! It’s Night!”

“N-Night!” There was a squeak, a groan, and a click as the window opened to let me tumble through. “What were you doing out there?! Trying to turn yourself into a popsicle?!”

“I… needed to talk to you….” The room was spinning as I slowly sat up to look around Diamond’s room. Full to the brim with mirrors and crystals and gems, it reflected enough light from the bedside lamp to make me hiss and bury my head in my hooves.

“Sorry…. Silver, could you turn the lights down for her?”

“I can do that if you want.” There was a pause, and I could feel Silver glowering at me as my hackles raised. “I can also turn them up.” 

“Silver!”

“Just saying.”

The lights dimmed to a less blinding level, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I finally opened my eyes to see Diamond hovering over me.

“Hey….” I tried to smile and failed.

“Hey….” Diamond looked down and scuffed her hoof.

“How you doing?”

Silver snorted, and we both glared at her. She still had a hoof on the lamp as she arched her brow back at us.

Diamond broke first, shaking her head with a sigh. “Kind of sucky. You?”

“Same.” I closed my eyes and shivered. “I’m really sorry about Canterlot, but—”

“You still want to be friends?!” Diamond was suddenly crushing the air right out of my lungs, and a long piteous whine escaped me as she nuzzled me. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

Silver rolled her eyes. “Just a little tighter now, Diamond.”

“I—” My spine popped loudly. “I was always gonna stay your friend. That’s not—” Another pop. “That’s not what I wanted to say!” The hug tightened, and I squeaked. “Can you let me down now?”

Diamond immediately dropped me. “Oops….”

“I’ll say.” Silver sniffed. “She makes a good bobblehead.”

“Silver, seriously! If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all!” Diamond stomped forward, her chest puffing out as her snoot filled the air. “I get that you’re mad, but it isn’t helping, so be quiet!” Not even waiting for a response, she turned back to me and was instantly much more twitchy. “S-sorry…. You were saying?”

“I…” Biting my lip hard enough to draw blood, I looked away. “I never did actually give you an answer, did I?”

“W-what?” Diamond took a step back. “But you—”

“Diamond, I didn’t know what the Tartarus I was supposed to think!” It took an immense amount of effort to meet those deep, Luna-touched eyes, but I did. “I still don’t! I just… I need more time, okay? I’ve never liked anypony like that before; I don’t want to say yes until I know for sure.” I looked away again at the sight of tears building in Diamond’s eyes. “I don’t want to ruin what we have by doing something stupid….”

Silver snorted, but said nothing as she turned the light down just a little more.

I stood there and waited for Diamond to say something—not even daring to look, and flinching at every sniffle. The seconds ticked by, and I started squirming. My heart thundered; my stomach churned; my frogs itched.

If this was what I’d put Diamond through, I was a million times more sorry than before. Maybe I should just—

My ear flicked at the sound of Diamond taking a step forward.

A few seconds later, she took another.

And another.

And another.

She slowly walked up until she was right in front of me—so close that if I raised my head, it probably would have bopped her chin. Her hooves were covered in bite marks, and they screamed at me for a hooficure. Her coat similarly screamed at me for a good scrubbing, and a sneaky peek upwards showed her bedhead was way worse than I thought.

It was the look of somepony who hadn’t left their room for a week or more, and I knew it all too well right now.

“You look like you’ve been through Tartarus.” Unlike when Silver said it, Diamond made my neck blaze black in self-consciousness.

“So do you.” I didn’t fight it when her hoof cupped my cheek, pulling my head up so close that our snoots were almost booping.

She giggled. “Yeah, but I’m not the one who’s at her prettiest after being through hay and back.”

“Diamond, pleeeeease….” My blush somehow managed to burn hotter. “Don’t make this any harder.”

“Sorry.” Diamond laughed and rubbed at her eyes with her hoof. “It’s true, though.”

“So, we’re good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” Diamond wrapped her hooves around me. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thanks.” I hummed and squeezed her back. “I… I should get going, then. It’s already a nightmare outside, and it’s only going to get worse. Don’t want Mom and Dad to worry, you know?”

“Yeah….” With a sigh, Diamond pulled back, but kept her hoof in mine. “I should go talk with Daddy…. You want me to show you to the door?”

“Uh… I’m not sure I want to risk running into your dad right now.” Chuckling, I let go of her to rub the back of my head. “I’ll just go through the window.”

“It’s always open for you.” Diamond giggled. “Right, Silver?”

“No comment.” Silver huffed.

“And you said you were going to buck her if she showed back up~”

“Don’t tempt me—I still might.”

Diamond’s titter was lost as I opened the window and the wind howled its way inside. She shivered as it hit her, quickly running up to hug me one last time before retreating for the heater.

“Bye, Night.”

“Bye, Diamond.”

“Silver.” I nodded.

“Dark Horse.” She saluted back as I tossed myself to the wind.

The walk home was even colder than the flight out, but not even a blizzard could dampen my spirits. I stumbled through the streets of Ponyville with a smile on my face, and I rang the doorbell grinning like a loon under moon. When Dad came down to take me up, I hugged him tight enough to hear his joints pop.

For all was right with the world.
> Total Eclipse of the Heart
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Begone foul demon! Thine cooties have no hold over me here!” Rearing back to scree at the heavens, I bared my fangs in a triumphant grin as the clouds parted to let the stars and moon shine down upon me. The Nightmother filled me with her blessing—moonlight soaking into the very core of my being—and I leapt up to meet my enemy with a roar.

“I. Am. The Night!”

Swooping under the Nightmare’s soft, velvety hooves, I shot into her shadow and emerged on the other side unscathed, quickly turning about to buck her in the rear. Tough as Tartarus, though, she danced to the side with a titter, and long, curly eyelashes fluttered at me as she sashayed backwards with a stupid sway to her hips.

“Hah! You think that’s enough to save your precious little Diamond Tiara! Even as we speak my dastardly cooties infect her with their insidious magic!”

“You monster!” I lunged again, and the foul temptress whipped me with her tail—the scent of sugar and spice hitting me harder than a maul to the face as she sent me tumbling to the ground. “She’s only twelve! She has so much more to live for!”

“Twelve? Twelve?! She’s thirteen now!” The Nightmare gave a titter far more frightening than any madmare’s cackle. “Soon, the only thing she’ll have left to live for is me, and all the unspeakable things me and my cooties will do to her!”

“Fie! Have you no honor?!” Scrambling back to my hooves, I blocked her follow up strike. “I am the one you want!”

“Hah! Me? Want you?” The Nightmare flashed her fangs in a grin as she slipped by to slap me with her tail again. “I. Am. You!”

“Aaa— Achoo!” All the stupid perfume and glitter sent me tumbling to the ground. “Fight me without your devilish tricks, you cur!”

“Awww… but where’s the fun in that? I’m just fighting like Mom taught us!” There was another giggle as my double twirled to slash at me with her dress; the razor sharp lace and frills cut me where no sword had before, and I was forced to backtrack so I could lick my wounds.

“Give in to the Dark Side, Night!”

“Never!”

“The cooties claim us all!”

“Not on my watch, fiend!”

“The smoochies will last forever!”

“Noooooooo!” I leapt forward to smite the demon, and—

“Nightingale Mooncrest!”

—I blinked as  Miss Cheerilee rapped my desk with her pointer.

“That is the third time today, young filly.” Cheerilee furrowed her brow at me. “If you would please stay after class, I would like to speak with you during recess.”

“Ooooh, somepony’s in trouble!”

“Cheerilee never uses the pointer!”

“Better get that bat some sunscreen, cause she’s gonna be getting burn— Ow!”

“Shut up, Snips.”

“What? She can take it! Rumble said she trains by going into the Everfree to wrestle with—“ I flinched at the bad dad word. “—manticores! Manticores!”

“Shut up, Snips.”

“But Rumble said—”

“Hey! Don’t drag me down with you. That was one time, and she told me it was just a cub.”

From the front of the class, Miss Cheerilee continued to write the next set of problems on the board, stopping for a moment to consult her book with a hum. “I am so very thankful—” Her ear flicked as she resumed scratching her chalk on the board. “—that the rest of my class understands how important it is to not stay distracted during class! It would be just so incredibly disappointing to have to hold back even more of you from recess!”

The rest of the class immediately shut up except for the occasional glance or snicker.

My neck blazed with the heat of a thousand suns as I raced to catch up with my assignments. Shrinking into my seat was no escape from the glance the girls were all sneaking my way, and I felt like flying as high as I could just so I could shrivel up in solfire and shame.

A real Platoon leader would never let their guard down for something as stupid as a daydream.

“Okay, everypony!” Miss Cheerilee clapped her hooves and spun around. “It’s time to keep on learning the magic of proper punctuation!” Only groans and moans accompanied her applause. “Now, now, everypony. Punctuation is the very cornerstone of good writing skills! Besides, today we’re learning about the incredible and amazing world of dashes!”

“Pfft!” Scoots rolled her eyes. “Not Rainbow? Don’t care.”

The rampant giggling and whispers that came from Scoots’ comment had Miss Cheerilee furrowing her brow. Then, with a sigh, she shook her head.

“One strike left everypony. We’re already more than half an hour—”

Brrrrrrrrrrrring!

“—late….” The rest of the school house was already empty. Glancing at me, Miss Cheerilee smiled as she saw me still scribbling away, and she moved up to my desk to sit down and meet me at eye level. “So… what’s going on, Night?”

“Nuffin’,” I muttered around my pencil.

“It is most certainly not nothing.” Miss Cheerilee put her hoof on my paper to force me to look up. “Hard working students like you only start to slip when you have a lot on your mind.”

“I’m not slipping!” Wings rustling violently, I huffed and crossed my hooves even as my neck burned black once more.

“Not yet, but I can’t help but worry for you, Night.” Shaking her head, Miss Cheerilee glanced out the window to watch the rest of the class. “I’m glad you aren’t fighting with your friends anymore—”

“We weren’t fighting!” This time my wings flared. “I was just avoiding them, because— because—” Biting my lip, I looked away as Miss Cheerilee gave me a small, sad smile.

“—but you’re still just as distracted.” She lifted her hoof to ruffle my mane, and I immediately went back to work. “I won’t pry if you don’t want, but I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

“Mrgmmmffffff….” Grunting, I frowned and let the sound of my pencil talk for me. Only when I finished the page did I set everything down, closing my eyes to stare the evil Nightmare Nightingale down.

“It’s nothing anypony can help me with.” I frowned as I opened my eyes to move onto the next sheet. “Not you. Not the girls. Not even Mom and Dad. I just gotta work it out on my own.”

“I see….” Her tone said otherwise. “Well, there’s only so much lenience I can give you, then.” Setting another packet of work on my desk, she got up to move back to her desk and take out her lunch. “Please understand that it’s nothing personal.”

“It’s lighter than I was expecting, actually.” Picking the papers up, I tilted my head at her.

“Well… considering that the last time I gave you extra work like this, you had fallen asleep in class?” Miss Cheerilee giggled. “Let’s just say it wouldn’t be fair to give you something bigger this time, and leave it at that.”

“But—”

“No.” She held up a hoof. “It would completely defeat the purpose to give you even more when I know you have a lot on your plate. With any luck, that’s just enough for you to finish with ten minutes to scarf your lunch down before recess ends.”

“R-really?” I squirmed a bit more. “But…” Biting my lip, I shook my head and went back to work. “Thank you, Miss Cheerilee!”



“Alright, class! With recess over, I have a few announcements.” Miss Cheerilee beamed at us like the Nightmother herself. “First, I have the equish homework you neglected to grab before heading out to recess!” The collective groans of the class did little to ruin her warmth. “You’ll find I’ve stapled it to all the problems you missed out on before recess; I’ll be expecting both to be done and turned in by the beginning of school tomorrow.”

“Awwwwwwwwww!”

“But we’ve got chores, Miss Cheerilee!” Apple Bloom skipped straight for the big guns, pouting up at our teacher with eyes that could spear an adult through the heart at twenty paces.

“And sports!” Whoops, double that. Scoots was joining in.

“And jobs!” Or quadruple it. Sweetie was going whole ham, pawing at her cutie mark before looking up with actual tears in the corners of her eyes. “Between my sister wanting help, and Button Mash’s cutie mark crisis, I don’t think I’ll have time to sleep, let alone get extra homework done!”

“Cutie mark crisis?” Button blinked. “I thought we were gonna—”

“A very important cutie mark crisis!” Sweetie blushed and shoved a hoof in his mouth—completely destroying the group pout’s momentum as she broke eye contact. “I promise it’s not just playing games at the arcade!”

“That may be, but I’m afraid my hooves are tied.” Miss Cheerilee’s smile grew even warmer as most of the class shouted similar excuses. “Maybe you all should have thought of that earlier when I was trying to work you through it.” For an instant, actually, it seemed less like the soft caress of moonbeams, and more like the hungry, licking flame of the sun. “Of course, I’m willing to talk about it if that’s what you all want, but that means we’ll most likely miss some of the rest of class, and then I’ll be forced to give you that as homework too!”

“No!” The response was instant as everypony’s tears evaporated like they’d never been there in the first place.

I just rolled my eyes, putting the finishing touches on the single extra sheet we’d received, and setting my pencil down to eye it critically for a moment. I nodded when everything looked good, and put the real homework in my bag for later.

“Next announcement, then!” Miss Cheerilee began passing out another packet. “We will not be having math class this week—” There was much cheering. “—but that doesn’t mean I won’t be giving you math homework.” The groaning returned. “This packet is due friday, and it covers everything we’ve learned so far this year,”

“So it covers nothing?” Silver smirked as she got the teacher to titter.

“This school year, Silver. Nice try, though.” Dragging out a ginormous, rolled up scroll, Miss Cheerilee dropped it on her desk with a thud. “I’m sorry. I know you’re all busy, and more homework is bothersome, but it will be worth it, I promise. The reason there’s no math is this!” She patted the scroll. “With Hearth’s Warming come and gone, it’s time for us to start talking about this year’s school play!”

A few cheers mixed in with the groans this time.

“I thought long and hard about which play we should do this year, and I’m happy to say that I finally narrowed it down to three for you! They are Snow White, The Little Mermare, and Beauty and the Bat!” Unfurling the scroll, Miss Cheerilee pinned it to the board and gestured to the roles written at the bottom of it.

“You know the drill everypony! The roles are random and the votes are secret! I want you all to take out a piece of paper to write your vote on it. When you bring it up to drop in the ballet box, write your name on the top of the ghost leg. I’ll count up the votes while you all have fun finding out just which of three roles you might get, and then I’ll announce the winning play so we can start practicing lines!”

Scrunching my face up, I quickly wrote down Beauty and the Bat—cause old thestral princes were awesome, and everypony was totally gonna vote for that one—and then I cantered to the front of the class to look over the scroll. My gaze cut through all the names to find the column for Belle, and my hoof shot straight up it to sign my name up top.

There was no possible way I was gonna get shunted into the spotlight if I put my name over the main character, right?

Yeah…. There was no way in Tartarus. That’d just be silly.

Shuffling to the side, I squirmed in agony as the rest of the class fought over the slots they thought would get them the roles they wanted. Scootaloo and Applebloom quickly joined me on the side—having had the exact same idea as me, putting their names directly above Snow White and Aerial. Silver soon followed after shrugging and picking hers at random, and together we watched Diamond and Sweetie duke it out with the other fillies for the slots next to ours.

“Everypony ready?!” When all the slots were finally filled, Miss Cheerilee peeled off the secondary scroll hiding the path to everyone's doom.

We crowded up to the board like a bunch of piranhas hungry for scraps, and I tried not to let the jostling get to me. After several elbows to the side, I made my way to the front, and my eyes tore their way through the ghost leg.

Left. Left. Left-right. Left.

“Yes, yes…. Take me away from the dreaded role of princess.” I grinned as my eyes slowly drifted towards the minor role of Chip the teacup—

Right. Right. Right.

—only to veer right back towards Belle and make me sweat.

Left. Right. Left. Right. Left, left. Right, right. Left-right. Left.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief as the last leg on Belle’s column took me off of a girly, frill-filled doom. Anything was better than—

My eyes hit the bottom of the chart to see I’d hit something a million times better and worse.

Maybe… Maybe I’d get lucky and Beauty and the Bat wouldn’t win? Just cause I wanted it to didn’t mean—

“And the winner is Beauty and the Bat by a landslide!” As Miss Cheerilee stood up to beam at us again, she gestured to the three piles of paper before her—one much larger than the other two.

“Yayyyyyy!” As the rest of the class cheered, I settled on my haunches.

“Fewmits.”

“Yes! Silver! Look! That means I get to play Belle!”

A slightly more colorful bad dad word slipped out of my mouth.

“Hey, Night!” The sea of foals broke as Diamond pushed her way through to me! “Night! Night! I got the part of Belle! Isn’t that great?! All it cost me was half my allowance for the week and all my pudding cups for a month!”

“Yeah…” Sweetie sighed, a pudding cup in hoof, “...I really should have pushed for more there. I ended up getting Chip….”

“That’s great!” I barely managed a grin. “If you’ll excuse me, though, I really need to talk to Miss Cheerilee.”

“Why?” Diamond blinked as we headed away from the throng. “You didn’t get Gustave the griffin, did you?” Her face squicked. “I can’t imagine you being able to pull that off.”

“No….” I poked my hoof at the ground.

“Then what did you get?”

“I got mrgmmrgmrfff….” Biting my lip, I looked away to mumble into my mane.

“Come again?” She tilted her head.

“I got Beast!” I huffed, crossing my forelegs in front of me. “And I was really hoping that I wouldn’t end up a main character, alright?”

“Oh?” Diamond tittered. “Poor, poor, sweet Nightingale.” Lifting a hoof to her forehead, she swooned back a step. “Forced into a role she does not want! Whatever will she do?!” Her wink left me blushing black. “Sounds like the perfect fit to me! Come on, Night! Be my big, strong, handsome beast!”

“Diiiiiiiiamond!” My ears splayed flat as my head tried to retreat into my chest floof. “Stoooooop! It isn’t funny!”

“You’re right.” Silver looked at me over the ridge of her glasses. “It’s hilarious.”

“Guys!” I rustled my wings, and looked to the other crusaders for help.

“Oh for the…” Applebloom massaged her forehead. “It’s just a bit a ribbing, Night. If ya don’t want her to tease you, you shouldn’t get so dang flustered.”

“Yeah!” Sweetie giggled. “She’s only doing it cause you’re adorable when you’re like that!”

“Am not!” My neck blazed hotter.

“Are too.” Scootaloo gagged. “Bleugh. If you don’t like it, then just tell her no already. I’m sick of all the sappy tap dancing.”

“You’re just annoyed you already lost the bet.” Rumble smirked as he came up to peck her on the cheek.

“Bleugh! Ewww!” This time I was the one gagging while Scoots burned hot as the sun; I closed my eyes to look away, and the Nightmare looked back at me making kissy faces.

“The cooties come for you, Night!”

Shaking my head, I risked opening my eyes to see the rest of the girls except Diamond smirking at me.

“Seriously, though, Night.” Diamond’s pout was worse than a kicked puppy. “Do you really not want to be Beast with me? We don’t have to make it weird! We can talk to Cheerilee about getting rid of the kiss.”

“K-kiss!” I stumbled back with a squeak like I’d just been axed.

“Yeah?” Diamond tilted her head. “Isn’t that why you didn’t want any of the main parts? All the plays this year have kissing scenes.”

“I— I think—” Gulping, I found my throat was beyond dry. “That just makes it so much worse…. I need to think about it.” As Diamond sagged, I tried to ignore Silver’s glare, and I glanced at Miss Cheerilee as she went through the ghost leg marking who had what role on a master sheet. There was still time left. I could—

Glancing back at Diamond, my heart lurched for a second, and I sighed. “Look… we can at least practice our lines a bit.” I glowered at Silver in turn. “You’re trading parts with me if it gets too weird.”

“Hmph. Fine.” Silver rolled her eyes. “But you better—”

“And that’s everypony!” Miss Cheerilee clapped her hooves together. “Everypony get back to your seats so I can pass out lines, and then we can start our first in class rehearsal!”

Slinking back to my seat, I sank in it with a thump and closed my eyes to see the Nightmare cackling madly in triumph.



“Ohohohohoho!” The Nightmare backpedaled as I advanced in a flurry of hooves. “It’s no use now, Dame Nightingale! My cooties have latched on to the both of you! I only have to wait!”

I winced as she danced past the shackled Diamond once more—my eyes lingering, my guard lowering. Big, heart-filled eyes stole my breath away, and then my lungs emptied further as the Nightmare bucked me into the wall.

“It’s impolite to stare~” Tittering, the madmare danced back again, her eyelashes fluttering. “Or did you decide I was right all along? Why else would you release the beast?

Biting my tongue, I ignored the urge to look back and advanced. “Diamond said it didn’t have to be weird!”

“Screehee!” My foe went back to twirling away from every attack. “So you’ll trust her, but not me? Not yourself? She’s more infected than you are!” Her half-smirk grew into a hungry beast for a moment, sending all kinds of shivers down my spine. “Just you wait. Soon the both of you will be mine! Ohohohohoho!”

Leaping back, the Nightmare faded into the shadows, and I charged over to Diamond to free her from her chains.

“Niiiiiiight.” Diamond moaned as I broke her bindings with my bare hooves. “The smoochies must last forever….” Puckering her lips, she pushed her muzzle towards mine.

“Darn it, Diamond!” I pushed her back with a hoof and slung her over my back. “Just hold on! I got ya! A quick trip to medical, and we’ll—

“Niiiiiiight.”

“No, Diamond, stop.”

“Niiiiiiiight.”

“Diamond, no!”

“But the smoochies—“

“—will happen over my dead body.”

“Niiiiiiiight.”

“I’m not gonna kiss you!”

“Geeze, Night, cooldown. That scene doesn’t happen for like, three more acts.”

I blinked to find all the girls staring at me, Silver in particular was smirking.

“I mean, I get it. You really want to break the curse, but you at least have to wait for Belle to reach the castle.”

Diamond blushed a little, shaking her head before turning back to Rumble—who had got Gustave the Griffin, of course. “Let’s just… get back to practice.” She took a deep breath before scowling at the cocky ‘hunter’ and his orange minion. “Hmph! Idiot! And just why should I marry you?”

Applebloom snorted from the sidelines. “I don’t think Belle is supposed to be that high and mighty. Ain’t she basically Twilight?”

“But I’m a princess!”

“No, you ain’t.” Bloom nodded at me. “Not until our Beast here gets a taste of you.”

“Screep!” I fell over as a goat bleated off in the distance.

“Really, Bloom? No need to be crass.” Diamond huffed. “Fine. I’ll try and cut back on the haughtiness.”

“Nah, you’re cool.” Scootaloo wrapped a hoof around Rumble and waggled her brow. “I mean, there’s no way I’m playing this LeFou guy right! Colt’s about as cool as Pinkie’s habanero cupcakes!” Everypony shuddered. “So, yeah, I say you just go nuts, Diamond.”

“Why, thank you.” Diamond sniffed. “At least somepony appreciates my acting.”

Silver was the one to snort this time. “It isn’t really acting, and you know it.”

“If a haughty princess says it’s acting, then I promise you, it’s acting.”

“Again—” Silver rolled her eyes. “—you’re not a princess until you kiss the big fuzzy lug.”

“Guys.” I knocked my hoof on the stage floor and everypony went quiet except for a few coughs and some sheepish grins. “Thank you. I’d appreciate getting a chance to practice today. The little we got to do in class really didn’t help my nerves.”

“Well, since you asked nicely.” Rumble grinned and waggled his brow at me, sucking in a deep breath as Sweetie Belle began fiddling with the piano. “How about we jump to my song?”

“Oi!” Scootaloo beat him to the punch as she slugged him in the shoulder. “You aren’t supposed to start the song doofus, that’s me.”

“So? It’s not like Diamond is playing her part straight.”

“Hey!”

“No excuses!” Scootaloo thwapped Rumble with her wing again. “This is like, the one actually cool thing that LeFou gets to do for the entire play. Everypony loves the Gustave song, even Rainbow Dash!”

“What a shock, everypony. Rainbow loves the Gustave song.” Silver rolled her eyes. “I can’t imagine why.”

“It is pretty nifty.” Apple Bloom chuckled. “Bet ya Sweetie’s just boiling with jealousy.”

“Am not!” Sweetie crossed her hooves as she puffed out her cheeks in a huff. “Besides, I’m Chip, not Mrs. Potts!”

“Yer still jealous, ain’t ya?” Bloom stuck out her tongue. “At least you aren’t stuck playing Lumiere. Ponies’ll laugh their tails off seeing Lumiere speak like a hick, but they’ll laugh even more at me speaking all fancy. Either way, I’m up horseapple creek without a paddle.”

This… still wasn’t practicing, was it? I squirmed from hoof to hoof as the banter continued back and forth for what felt like forever.

The clock had to be broken. No way it was just five minutes.

“Guys, come on! Can it and get back to practice!” My sigh of relief caught in my throat as Diamond winked at me. “I want to get to Beast’s castle today.”

There was a round of snickers as I melted on the spot, Sweetie picking the piano back up as Scootaloo hastily scrabbled through her lines.

“Screw it!” Tossing her script over her shoulder, she took a deep breath; She puffed out her chest as far as it would go, and flared her wings out as she let the music take her.

“Golly, it bugs me to hear you, Rumble~ All ruffled like feathery tar~ Stallions want to compete with you, Rumble~ But none seem to quite reach the bar~ Not a pony around as inspiring as you~ You’re top rooster around,no lie~ Everypony looks up and gives way for you~ And I think I’m starting to know why!~”

Scoots sauntered up to her coltfriend, slugging him in the side and handing him a juice box as she forcibly turned his lips up into a smile with her wings. I facehoofed at the shameless preening, and bit my lip from trying not to say anything about how smug they both looked. Scootaloo looked over to wink at me and waggle her brows, and I groaned as she continued her song.

“No pone’s fun as Rumble~ No pone’s well done like Rumble~ No pone crows at the morning sun like Rumble~” Scoots jumped in the air to do a quick loop.

Rumble floofed his chest. “For sure, there’s no pony quite as fluffy!~”

“Darling, I wish he were mine!~” Sweetie tittered like Rarity at the christening of her favorite ship.

“Ya can ask Twi, Rainbow, or Pinkie~” Apple Bloom drawled with a roll of her eyes.

“And they’ll look to the sky and just whine!~” Silver smirked.

Grabbing the rest of the girls, Scoots dragged them into reluctantly tossing Rumble into the air—his insubordinate, narcissistic smirk supported by one forehoof as he laid lazily on his side.

“No pone’s cool like Rumble!~ The top bird like Rumble!~ No flyer’s got quite the ruffage like Rumble!~”

“As a pegasi, I’m overly elagent!~” His horseapple-eating grin grew with each line from the girls, and he paused in mid toss to flex and kiss his guns.

“My what a pone that Rumble!~”

As the girls caught him one more time, Scoots was back to sauntering around her coltfriend.

“Here’s five hoofbumps!~ Here’s twelve, you rock!~ Rumble’s the greatest!~ Aaaaaand he’s the biggest co—”

Miss Cheerilee—who had been silently listening to our antics as she graded papers—coughed.

“—rooster!” Scoots smiled sheepishly at my glare, but nonetheless went on.

“No pone struts like Rumble!~ No pone’s nuts like Rumble!~ When a fight breaks out, no pony guts like Rumble!~ For there’s nopony quite as bulky or fiesty!~”

The jerk of the hour flexed again. “As all know I’ve got muscles to spare!~”

Scoots smirked as she saw me grimace. “Not an inch on him’s boney or pasty~”

“Oh, yeah~” Sweetie swooned—giggling and fluttering her eyelashes as a spare breeze somehow snuck inside to elegantly toss her mane.

“And for sure you know I’ve got aaaaaaall the maaaaaaaares!~” Rumble wrapped his wings around the rest of the now glaring girls.

Scootaloo nipped his ear in punishment before dancing away with a wing thwap. “No pone’s smug as Rumble~ No pone’s snug as Rumble~ In a game of chicken, none have ever beaten Rumble!~”

Rumble reared back with a whinny. “There’s none that can beat me at intimidating! Ha!~”

“Ten wins for Rumble!~” The girls were still glaring.

“When I was a colt, I ate ten bales of hay!~ Every meal to help make my day!~” Rumble continued flexing. “And now that I’m big, I eat twelve bales of hay!~ So that all listen to what I have to saaaaaaaay!~”

The rest of the girls—one giggling, the rest resigned, came back together with Scoots for the final stanza.

“No pone dives like Rumble!~ Goes through hoops like Rumble!~ Then struts around with gold medals quite like Rumble!~”

“I use feathers in all of my uniforms!~” Rumble plucked one of Scoots’ feathers to put it in his mane.

“Ah! One more time!~” Scoots flinched before getting the rest of the crusaders to toss him in the air again.

“Who’s the king of the flock!~” Up he went.

“And another round!” Scoots buzzed up to meet him.

“Who’s cream of the crop!~ Who’s stallion to win!~”

“Can it be?!~ There I see!~”

“Ask the crowd and the five adoring mares beneath me!~”

“There’s one pone around that never backs down!~”

“His name’s R-U-M-B— R-U-M-B-L— Rummmmmmm Ballllllllllllllll!~”

Only the sound of Rumble hitting the ground saved my face from caving when it met my hoof.

“Ow….” Rumble rubbed his backside. “What the hay was that for?”

“For letting your head swell up like one of Pinkie’s baloons, doofus.” Scoots snickered. “Don’t act like you didn’t deserve it.”

“Hey! I didn’t see you complaining when—”

“Now, now. No more fighting, children. That was a wonderful first attempt.” Cheerilee stood from her seat to beam down on us like fresh moonshine. “As long as we tweak the lyrics a bit, I see no reason not to let Scoots have fun with her song in the actual play.” Frowning slightly, Cheerilee shook her head. “Although I’d really prefer we stick to calling Rumble his actual role.”

“Already on it, Miss Cheerilee!” Sweetie waved a mess of notes and chicken scratch above her head before going back to muttering under her breath. “Freaking E-rated play. We’re all thirteen…. We can handle something spicier….”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that!~” Miss Cheerilee singsonged as she turned to look over the rest of us. “Now then. If you don’t mind, I’d like to call your practice here and pick up tomorrow. If you practice too much, you’ll just ruin all that enthusiasm. It's much better if you don’t get too far ahead of your classmates.”

“Yes, Miss Cheerilee!” We all chorused back.

“And Night?”

“Yes?” I fought the urge to squirm.

“Try and have a bit more fun with it? Not everypony gets to be Beast.”

“I am trying….” Glancing.away, I kicked the floor.

“Try harder then?” She smiled. “Trust me. It might be nerve wracking, but standing in front of a crowd can also be just as exhilarating. I do it all the time with you and the rest of the class, after all.”



I idly flipped through my script in the soft, warm shadows of my room. My face scrunched at some lines, smiled at others, and blushed at all the stupid, mushy romantic bits. It would be difficult, but I was starting to think I would be able soldier through this without asking Miss Cheerilee for a new part.

Well, as long as Diamond kept her promise of skipping over the kiss….

My ear flicked as the doorbell rang, and the rumbling moan of a giant Dadosaurus who ate too much of Mom’s cooking followed.

“By the Nightmother… I swear if it’s those sunblasted door to door salesponies again, I’m going to take that cream of theirs and shove it down their throats.” The mumbling of several bad Dad words slipped through the wall. “For peat’s sake, we can’t even get horn rot.” A massive fwump signaled the door being bucked off its hinges. “Yeah?!”

There was a pause with some scattered grumbling from below.

“Oi, Night! You got company!”

I glanced up, face scrunching in confusion before sticking my head through the wall to see Silver wave up from below. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to help you practice for the play.” Silver shifted her saddlebags. “I even brought props.”

“Come down and get her, will you?” Dad smiled up sheepishly from beside her. “I gotta grab all the bits of door before—”

“Tempered! You know you aren’t supposed to buck your way through the walls unless its an emergency!”

Dad flinched. “Yes, dear. Don’t worry. I was about to fix it.”

“You had better.” Mom snorted as she flew down to smile at Silver and offer her a homemade chocolate chip cookie before she thwapped Dad with a wing. “I mean, really, it sets a bad example.”

“Tell me that when the walls aren’t made of clouds.” Dad chuckled as he hefted Silver on Mom’s back. “Go on and take her up first. I’ll fix the door like it was new, then we can talk about my punishment.”

Mom squinted at Dad for a moment, turning to eye the setting sun for just a moment. “Finish fast enough to get me some chocolates from Bon Bon, and we’ll keep it to manual labor.”

“Oh?” Dad smirked. “What kind of manual labor?”

“You know how we’ve been waiting for some recruit to slip up bad enough to fix Discord moving all of Princess Twilight’s heavy, crystal furniture two inches to the left just to mess with her?”

“Hah!” Dad puffed out his chest. “Rookie work? That’ll be child’s play!”

“Well, it turns out he enchanted it to be immovable, so you’re going to have to move the rest of the castle two inches to the left instead.”

Dad blinked for a few seconds before bursting into uproarious laughter. “Now that’s a challenge. I love it!” He pecked Mom on the cheek. “So what is it, really?”

“Diaper duty for a week, and you give me a massage every night before bed.”

“Deal!” Dad grinned, jumping up to begin swiftly gathering the scattered tufts of door. “I’ll make sure to pick up the oils from Zecora tomorrow!”

Mom just rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she flew up and out of sight to put Silver on the specially enchanted cloud. Pulling my head back inside, I galloped through the house to meet them, and found them giggling over something Silver hastily shoved back in her saddlebags as I rounded the corner.

“So, what’s up?”

“I told you.” Silver patted her bags. “I’m here to help you practice.”

“I don’t know….” Something in the way Mom was beaming at me left me squirming and looking away. “Miss Cheerilee said we were supposed to wait until tomorrow.”

“Trust me, you need the overtime.” With a smirk, Silver walked past me to head towards her room. “Isn’t that right, Mrs. Glory?”

“Oh— Ah— Ahem!” Mom coughed only for it to devolve into a fit of giggles. “Yes. It’s very important that Silver teach you how to— to—” She snerked, unable to finish with a straight face and having to bite her hoof not to laugh. When she finally got control again, all she could manage was waving me towards my room. “Just go and see for yourself, dear.”

“Fine….” I pouted but nonetheless followed after Silver, my hoof pausing on the door before I went in. “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?”

“Oh, stop being such a drama lama.” Silver huffed from the other side. “That’s Rarity’s thing.”

I rolled my eyes, but finally managed to push open the door. “You know, most lamas call ponies the dramatic ones, right?”

“So?”

“Dunno.” I shrugged. “I was just kinda hoping you’d take the bait so I could avoid—”

Glancing at the bed, I took stock of the props she’d gotten out. A frilly chrome and silver dress, a couple of really old, scratchy records, and a large, thick, Yakyakistani fur coat. Given the names on the records, I’d almost think she was stupid enough to insist on practicing the one scene she should know I’m not gonna do.

“—whatever this is.”

“This.* Silver gestured to the costumes. “Is where we practice your big kiss scene with Diamond.”

“Ewwwwwwww!” My face scrunched. “Silver! What makes you think I would possibly do that scene with you when I don’t want to do it with Diamond!”

“Well, first things first, you owe me one.”

“I owe you one.” I arched a brow. “And how exactly did that happen again?”

“I didn’t end your existence when you went to smooth things over with Diamond, right?” Silver squinted at me. “Besides, I don’t care what you say about not wanting to do it with Diamond; you’re totally just in denial.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Prove it, then.” Silver smirked, tossing me the jacket. “If you really don’t have feelings for Diamond, then the kiss won’t be weird at all.”

“But I’m trying to figure out my feelings for Diamond!” My wings rustled violently, itching to flare as I stomped a hoof.

“So you admit that you’re in denial.” The smirk grew insufferable.

“No! I’m just— Ugh! Why do you even care?!”

“Simple.” Silver’s grin hardened into a grimace. “You already broke Diamond’s heart once. I’m not going to stand for you doing it again.”

“Did you just—” I blinked a moment before advancing forward with a growl. “Are you threatening me?!”

There was a slice of wind that managed to cut through the clouds, blowing my wings over my eyes as a result. When I looked back, my eyes widened as I saw Diamond, dressed in a long, elegant dress that reflected light so well it was painful. And before her stood a guard, no, a Silver Knight. She stood between us, posture so reminiscent of Princess Luna’s guard that I stopped, then blinked… and it was gone.

Silver took a deep, measured breath. “I’m just protecting my best friend from ponies who might hurt her.”

“I’m not going to hurt her.” I released a slow breath.

“For now.” With a tsk, Silver frowned at me. “But the longer you wait to give her an answer, the more she’ll get her hopes up again.”

“What do you want, then?! Do you want me to say no?!” My fangs bared themselves.

“No, I want you to—”

“Girls!~” The voice of doom itself was a singsong bass as it boomed through the walls of the house. “Are you alright?~ You wouldn’t happen to be fighting, would you?~” His knocks threatened to cave the door to my room in, and my eyes widened—the darkness instantly welcoming me as I sank an inch or two into the shadows. “Because my wife thinks you’re fighting, and she would just hate that!~”

“No! Everything’s fine!” I shushed Silver as she opened her mouth, giving her a pleading look. She arched her eyebrow for a few long moments before nodding, allowing me to back away with a sigh.

“Quite.” She stretched her jaw a little. “Things are just fine, Mister Mettle.”

“Excellent! Because I may be knocking to respect your privacy, but we’re also asserting our authority by coming in anyways!”

And thus Dad bucked down his second door for the day—smiling like a loon under moon as he made his way in with Mom. Mom, for her part, rolled her eyes and thwapped him with a wing.

“You literally couldn’t wait ten minutes, could you?” With a pointed look at Dad, Mom began to gather bits and pieces of my door up to fix it.

“Well, I would’ve waited an hour, but somepony wanted me to be a responsible, authoritative father-figure.” Dad walked up to examine me and Silver up and down before tutting and turning away. “Didn’t even give her a shiner, squirt? For shame.”

I sunk further into the shadows before what he said really registered. “Huh?”

“Tempered! Don’t go encouraging her to be a deviant!” Mom clucked as she put the finishing touches on my door—pointedly ignoring Dad’s tongue. “We’re going to get enough of that in the next few years.” Nodding at her hoofwork, she turned to squint at us. “Now, then. I thought you two were practicing for the play. What exactly is the prob—”

From behind her, Dad winked at me before giving a deep, subsonic scree. There was the whistling cry of Rolling Thunder from the twins room, which was quickly followed by the wail of a waking Red Dawn. Mom looked over her shoulder at the noise, glancing briefly at Dad with narrowed eyes before looking back out the door as the wails doubled in volume.

“I can go take care of it if you want, dear.”

“No, no….” Mom sighed. “It sounds like they’re hungry and that needs a mother’s touch. You take care of this. Just… spin them a tale of all the stupid fights you got into as a colt, and why fighting is wrong and they shouldn’t do it.”

“Yes ma’am.” Dad gave a lazy salute as Mom left to go deal with the terrible twosome.

“So!” He turned to us with a grin when the coast was clear. “I could spin a fatherly yarn about all the fights I got into when I was your age, but I think you both already know when not to fight.” His eyes glinted merrily in the darkness even as his grin grew predatory. “You two? Might just need a good ol’ fashioned fight. Come on. I know you want to. Take a swing.”

“Dad!” I squeaked, shrinking into the shadows completely mortified. “It’s not like that!”

“Really? Because I only get like that when the nobles up in the Undercity threaten your Mom.”

Silver let out a chuckling snort, and I glared at her momentarily.

“It’s nothing, really…. I just overreacted to something Silver said….”

“If you say so.” Dad shrugged. “Of course, if somepony threatened me not to go chasing after your mom like that, I would have punched their lights out. That said, as your father, I’m legally obligated to punch the lights out of any mare or colt stupid enough to break your heart, so I can kinda see where Silver is coming from.”

I said nothing, squirming as I mulled his words over.

“Okay, maybe I do want to punch her….”

“Hah! That’s the spirit!” Dad slapped my back. “Too bad you’ll be grounded if you do, but it’s the thought that counts!”

“Yes….” Silver adjusted her glasses. “And no matter what you seem to think, Night. I don’t want you to just tell Diamond no. I think you should take the risk. I’m just trying to… nudge you in the right direction.”

“You think a freaking kiss will make things easier?” I frowned.

“Sure.” Silver shrugged. “If its too weird, you just tell her no after the play.”

“And if it isn’t weird?” I whispered holding a hoof to my lips.

“Then—”

“Then you and I get to have a long, long talk!” Dad slapped my back again, his rumbling laugh setting off the just quieted twins again.

“Tempered!”

“Oops….” Dad chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked out the door. “I’m going to go help Morning. You two don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, you hear?” He bounded out the door before I could respond, leaving me with Silver and her accursed props.

“So… no offense, but I can barely stomach the thought of kissing Diamond. I don’t think practice is going to help….”

“I came prepared in case you said that.” Silver didn’t even miss a beat, smirking as she reached into her saddle. “Had to stop by the Barnyards Bargains’ warehouse to get it out of storage though.”

“To get what out of storage?” I warily stepped forward as she rummaged through her bag.

“Behold, the greatest marketing scheme Barnyard Bargains ever attempted.” A lump of densely folded cardboard came forth to unroll into a cutout of a starry-eyed and dimpled cutout of Diamond in a princess outfit.

“How…” I shook my head. “How long did it take to get that picture.”

“Four days, seven hours, and twenty-two minutes.”

“That doesn’t make any—“

“About an even three weeks factoring in school, meals, sleeping, lessons on how to fake dimples like that, and the many and varied demands of a bored tyrant in a tiara.”

“I… I think I’m just not gonna ask.” I picked up the yak fur coat and threw the dress at Silver. “Just suit up so we can get this over with.”



“Never fear, Belle, my dear! I. Am. Here!” Rumble jumped through the still unpainted cardboard arch that was going to be the castle’s door. His brow was wagglin, his wings were flared, and he was grinning like a loon under moon as he strutted up to me like Equestria’s Luna-given gift to equine kind.

Luna grant me strength; it was almost impossible not to gag at the sight.

Scoots and the rest of the ‘villagers’ followed—complete with pitchforks from Sweet Apple Acres and Golden Harvests. Their attempts at scowling almost made up for Rumble’s Rumbly-ness, and I smirked just a little as I stepped between him and Diamond.

“You fiend! You monster! Keeping my sweet, helpless Belle here in your bile clutches!”

“Vile.” Sweetie coughed into the tea cup shaped sleeve of the costume Rarity had insisted on making. Her giant chipped hat wobbled from the movement, and she almost tripped over her similarly shaped skirt as she tried not to tumble over.

“Your Belle?!” I put everything I had into the roar. “From what I hear, she’s turned turned you down so many times your blood’s lost a humor or two!”

“Wha—” Rumble’s wings flared as he jabbed me in the chest. “No mare has ever rejected Gustave the Griffon! Unlike you filthy excuse for a beast, I am irresistible! Fawns fawn over these rock hard pecs!” He flexed his forehooves and wings. “Nannies faint before they can even bleat! Mares moan from a simple—”

“Pssst!” Scoots kicked Rumble in the shin as she saw Cheerilee look up. “Ixnay! Ixnay!”

Rubbing his forehoof, Rumble grumbled. “Such an exquisite catch as Belle is only worthy of being chased by a Gustave! I demand you release her at once or I’ll—”

“Lest I.” Sweetie coughed again.

“—or I’ll burn you and this castle to the ground!”

“Enough, Gustave.” Diamond stepped out from behind me, scowling. “I’m not being held against my will, so you and your lackeys can go jump off a cliff.”

“There’s one right out back.” I grinned. “Be my guest.”

“Hmph!” Rumble put his hoof on his wooden sword. “I’d expect no less from a blood-sucking mongrel such as you. You’ve had your warning! Prepare to die!”

As he unsheathed his blade, the flat clipped Diamond in the face as she ran in to ‘stop’ him. My heart caught as she tumbled back with a surprised squeak—actual, honest-to-Luna tears in her eyes.

Somepony growled as my body decided to act of its own will. Instincts kicked in, ponies were flipped, and I found myself panting over a swirly-eyed Rumble—one hoof pinning him to the ground.

Everypony who wasn’t in the Junior Guard was staring at me with starry eyes, while the other Crusaders snickered behind one hoof. I blushed, glancing at Miss Cheerilee, but she simply shook her head before returning to her grading. 

“I know ya got a thing against losing to Rumble, but come on, Night,” Apple Bloom snickered. “It’s just a play. Not the ring. Yer supposed to run and lead the mob away from Belle.”

My blush burned blacker. “I, uh… thought I’d wing it?”

“Please stick to the script for this, Nightingale!” Miss Cheerilee called from her seat. “I may be fine with some ad-libbing, but that really is too much.”

The shadows beneath me formed into somepony grinning with far too many fangs. “Yes, let’s pretend it was totally about that. Ohohohohoho!”

The Nightmare had returned.

“Sorry!” Hastily scrambling off Rumble, I pulled him to his feat, set him on his hooves, and slapped him on the back, causing him to topple right back over. “I can fix him!”

“But I don’t wanna be a cat toy….” Rumble mumbled, little orange chickens still spinning around his head. “I wanna grow up to be a dog biscuit.”

“Ohohohohoho!”

“No, really! Some water will make him right as rain!” I ran outside for a cloud as the rest of the class giggled. One mist and a shower later, Rumble was blinking up at me with a blush to mirror mine.

“Really, Night? I know I was laying it on kinda thick, but you didn’t need to piledriver me.”

“Ohohohohoho!”

“I said I was sorry already!”



“Ohohoh-ack!” I stomped on the Nightmare’s face as she dared peek out of my shadow to make kissy faces at Diamond. “Spoilsport.” I let out a breath as Cheerilee talked to Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie about all the things that could go wrong with being roller skating feather dusters. “Don’t think I won’t get you for that, my pretty.”

“I kinda doubt that.” Muttering under my breath, I turned to sneak a peek at Diamond as she practiced waltzing for that big, stupid scene of ours with Silver. “You aren’t even real. Go away; I’m too busy to daydream right now.”

“See, you say that, and yet you’re just kicking back, relaxing, and wishing you were Sil—”

“Hey, Miss Cheerilee!” Diamond glowed as she twirled about. “I think I finally got it! Can we try the ball scene! Can we? Can we?”

Say what?

I blinked.

No, no, no, no, no! Don’t give the little beast what she wants, Diamond!

“Ahem, I believe you mean what we want.” A small poof of clouds heralded the demon appearing on my shoulder. “Go on, do it.”

“I don’t know….” I rubbed the back of my head. “Maybe we should practice having Rumble fall to his death again.”

“But I’ve already died like five times today!” Rumble tossed his hooves in the air with a huff. “I don’t want to fall on my face anymore!”

“Uhhh…” I hastily looked around.

“You gotta face the music sometime, Nightingale.” Silver smirked as she twirled Diamond slowly towards me.”

“It’s true, we haven’t touched that scene yet, have we?” Miss Cheerilee glanced at the clock. “Times almost up, but I suppose you and Night can at least practice the waltz together.”

“Oh my gosh! Really?! Yay!” Diamond was spinning with Silver one second and prancing in front of me the next. “Come on, Night! Let’s dance!”

“Screep!” Bodily lifted against my will, I fidgeted helplessly as Diamond twirled me a time or two before she set me down in the middle of the stage.

Taking a step back, she bowed, and I followed suit, gingerly stepping up to her after we rose; her shoulder met mine, the music swelled, and—with a weighty pause—I slowly took the lead.

One. Two. Three. One. Two. Three.

Just like marching, only so much harder.

My heart hammered a million times a minute as the Nightmare kept egging me on. My frogs were sweaty, my costume was stuffy, and a burning black flame crawled up my neck as the whole class paused in their cleaning to watch.

“Do it.” The shoulder demon whispered in my ear as we both swung back for a moment, briefly breaking contact from one another. Swinging back in, our shoulders jostled each other, and I winced as her hoof met mine.

“Sorry.” She muttered, blushing. “It’s been a while since I last really practiced.”

“S’fine.” I had to try really hard not to dive too deep in those sparkling eyes. “I haven’t done it since last Heart’s and Hooves.”

“Oh? Me too. Maybe we should make a habit of dancing together more than once a year, then.”

“I’d… like that.” I bit my lip. “But I still don’t have an answer for you….”

“Well, try not to keep me waiting.” She tittered as I twirled her, her tail tickling my nose as it passed. “Somepony else might ask me to the dance, then.”

“Lucky them, I guess….” My hooves skipped a step, but I managed not to tromp over Diamond’s hooves.

“You don’t sound too happy about the idea.”

“I’m— I’m not….”

“So you want to go to the dance with me again?” She smiled coyly.

“Y-yes?” I squirmed.

“But you don’t know if you wanna go out with me?” The pout drew my eyes to her lips.

“N-no. I mean, yes!”

“It has to be one or the other.”

“We—” I gulped. “We should really be practicing our lines.”

“I think I just want to waltz right now.”

She leaned in closer.

And closer.

And closer.

Her face was less than half an inch away, and her pout left her lips that much nearer. The music swelled with my hammering heart as I started to close the last little bit of distance.

“Do it. Do it. Do it!” The shouting cootie phantom was nothing but a bug to flick my ear at.

“Doooooooo iiiiiiii—”

Brrrrrrrrrring! I jolted back as the school bell broke through the dream.

“Oh, come on!” Sweetie tossed her hooves up with a snort as Silver sighed and shook her head. The rest of the class glared at the offending bell that they normally revered, while Miss Cheerilee was biting her lip with a torn expression.

“Well, then…. That’s all for today, class. Finish cleaning up, and we can pick up with the ball scene tomorrow.” Dotting the last i and crossing the last t on her work, Miss Cheerilee slipped her papers in her bag.

“But— But— But—” Sweetie gestured wildly at Diamond and me before letting out a whine so high that my ears folded back. “Why?!”

Miss Cheerilee frowned. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I’d normally stay a little longer like usual, but I need to get ready for my plans later tonight.”

“B-b-but—”

Miss Cheerilee’s smile was small, but firm. “Contrary to what you and the rest of Ponyville think, I do have a life outside of teaching.”

“Pfft!” Scoots buzzed her wings. “Doing what? Reading up more stuff to teach us?”

“Well, actually…” Miss Cheerilee bit her lip, cheeks darkening.

“Oh, you can’t be serious.” Silver deadpanned. “You have a date?”

“Wha—” Miss Cheerilee’s eyes widened as everypony beared down on her, questions flying faster than she could keep track. Her eyes flicked between Apple Bloom, Sweetie, and Scootaloo with growing horror, and she rapidly shook her head.

“No, no, no, no, no! Calm down, everypony! It’s not a date!” She sighed as the rest of the class backed up to look at her, eyes demanding an explanation.

Reaching into her saddle bag, she pulled out a mask that had more than a few jaws drop. “I… have to tag in on a championship match with my sister.”

“You’re the incredible Flower Power?!”

“Your sister is the amazing Mystery Mare?!”

“You two are the best wrestlers in the league!”

“Children, children!” Cheerilee waved the little mob down again. “Please, I’m only doing this as a favor for my sister! There’s a reason why Flower Power only handles a few tag team matches a year!”

“So mysterious and aloof!”

“Always arriving when the Mystery Mare needs her most!”

“I can’t believe you’re Flower Power!”

“Yeah! This is so cool! Our teacher is gonna save Mystery Mare from losing her title to the Loon Under Moon and Dread Dawn!”

“Everypony, please!” Miss Cheerilee finally started to head towards the door with all the speed of a glacier. The class hung on to her the entire way, even as she went out the door.

Only me and Diamond were left behind—the only two who hadn’t surged forward at Miss Cheerilee’s admission. We were still standing there, almost shoulder to shoulder, painfully aware of what had almost-but-not-quite happened.

“You can go if you want.” I murmured looking off to the side. “I’ll join you and the other crusaders at Sugar Cube Corner in a bit, but somepony has got to finish cleaning up the set.”

“I don’t mind staying to help.”

“Screep!” My shoulder burst into flames as Diamond set a hoof on it, the heat quickly climbing up my neck.

“Seriously, Night. You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s just the two of us here. As friends. Nothing more.”

My ears flattened at the slight edge that crept into her voice.

“M’srry.” I managed to peek at her.

“Nothing to be sorry about.” She frowned as she picked up the scattered costumes to hang them on the rack.

“Yes, there is….” I moved the set pieces to the side and flew up to the lights to double check them after turning them off.

“No. There really isn’t.” With a huff, she pulled her own sparkling silver dress off. “Not unless I say so.”

I stayed silent, knowing better than to engage this battle any further.

“No!” She thwapped the back of my head, refusing to let me retreat. “I know what you’re thinking. Stop being an idiot. I had fun today. Don’t ruin it.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” I took a deep breath. “The mare is always right.”

She thwapped me again, giggling like a loon under moon. “And now you’re getting cheeky.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb with me!” The titters turned to laughter, and her hoof dived to tickle me true.

“Stop.” I caught her hoof before it could land, and she pouted at me. “Seriously. Go find the others, please….” I bit my lip. “Today gave me a lot to think about. I don’t need more right now.”

Diamond looked at me, her grin slipping. “I… wasn’t trying to.”

“I know.” I smiled. “Just give me a few. I promise we can do professional tag-team tickle-fighting after we all get a milkshake.”

“Okay….” Her ears splayed back as she headed towards the door. “Don’t keep us waiting too long.”

I waved as the door clicked shut, staring after her. When I was sure I was all alone, I got back to work on storing the set.

“Don’t worry…. I won’t.”



“Oh, I’m so proud of you, my little light in the night!” Mom pinched my cheeks after she made the last few adjustments to adjustments to the costume Rarity had finally finished for me. “I remember a time you would have hidden in your closet at the thought of playing a character like Beast!”

“I would be hiding in my closet if I could.” Shaking myself away, I grumbled at my mane in the mirror and tried to mess it up more. “I’m just glad it doesn’t look like a poodle. Did you have to wash my hair with the lame shampoo?”

“Yes, Night. I did.” Mom chuckled. “You’re a handsome prince tonight, and that means your mane needs to actually behave for once.”

“My mane behaves on its own!”

“Your mane pretends to behave on its own—just like your father. He has to put up with it too on occasion.”

“Only when you force me into it, dear.” Dad laughed from his spot by the door. “Now are you finished yet? She looks about ready to explode, and I want a picture before we have to pack it up and head out.”

“You can always take a picture after the show.” Mom squinted at my mane before assaulting it with the brush again. “And I’m sure you’re going to be taking plenty of pictures during it.”

“It's the principle of the matter.” Dad grinned. “This is a night of many firsts.”

“I already told you it’s not like that!” I squeaked. “It doesn’t count if the play makes me kiss Diamond!”

“Then strike while the iron’s hot, and make a move before the play does.”

“Dad!”

“What?” Dad grinned his dad-liest grin. “All I’m saying is—”

“Nai! Nai!” There was a soft popping sound from the nursery as a giggling menace crawled out of my shadow.

“Little rascal!” With a roar of laughter, Dad moved forward to scoop Rolling Thunder off me before he could ruin Mom and Rarity’s work. “You’re supposed to be in bed!”

“Papa!” Rolling giggled before popping away again. “Wan Ooona! Wan ooonies!”

“Oh dear….” Mom sighed. “I told you not to read him To the Moon and Back before bed today. Now he’s going to keep trying to slip by Fluttershy to sneak out and find the moon ponies.”

“Ooonies! Ooonies! Teeheeheehaahaa!”

Oh most wondrous of nights, he was in the vents again. I really shouldn’t have showed him that.

“I told you we should have gotten Pinkie.”

“Pinkie is already looking after the Cake’s twins tonight! It would have been cruel to saddle her with another set.”

“She can handle it.” Dad chuckled as he poked a hoof in the ceiling to search for Rolling only to wince as the bugger nipped his frog. “Son of a— Okay, she could probably handle them all at once.”

“Never underestimate the demon.” I muttered under my breath.

A few more bad dad words slipped out as the doorbell rang, my brother’s giggling only intensifying as Dad finally plucked him out of the convection vents.

“Floof!” Rolling’s forehooves barely poked out of his fluff as he spread them.

“Somepony took after his father.” Mom giggled at the sight. “You’re going to need your first trimming sooner rather than later.”

“The stallions of the Spirit Chaser line are hairy beasts, indeed.” Dad nodded sagely before winking at me. “Some of the mares, too.”

The doorbell meekly rang again, sparing Dad from Mom’s incoming wrath.

“Oh, go get the door, you lunk.” Instead of a thwap, Mom violently shooed Dad away with one wing. “Leave your pretty princesses to get ready if you really want a picture before the play.

“M’not pr’tty.” I glowered under my breath.

“Now, now, Night. None of that,” Mom tsked. “Every filly’s pretty in their own way, even you.”

“Eeeenope.” My scowl deepened.

“Would you prefer handsome, then?” Mom giggled as she continued to eye me up and down for any little fittings that needed to be made after my brother’s assault. “Because you make a very handsome prince.”

“Mrgmff….” I squirmed. “Moooooom, come on!”

“Fine.” Mom sighed as she took one last critical glance at my mane. “I suppose we’re done, then. No messing it up until you’re at least backstage after the opening scene.”

“But I can mess it up?” I looked up hopefully.

“It’d be foalish to think you weren’t planning on it anyway.” Mom snorted. “As long as you wait until you become Beast, I’ll be happy.”

“Deal!” I did a quick loop and ran to the living room where Dad was chatting with Fluttershy—a yawning Rolling Thunder curled up beneath her wing.

“—really appreciate you doing this on such short notice.” Dad was already counting out bits. “Please, take a little extra for the inconvenience. I know just how much of a hoofful they can be.”

“Oh… no, I couldn’t possibly do that.” Fluttershy smiled. “I just love watching the little angels for you. Pinkie and I even swap stories about them.”

“No, I insist.” Dad pushed the money forward. “Not only is Rolling starting to teeth, but he’s started to make a habit of wandering the convection vents; trust me when I say this is going to be earned before the night is out.”

“Well, if you insist….”

“I do, and I already made a list of other things to watch out for. Thestral foals don’t fly as much as pegasi, but our shadow magic causes its own slew of problems.” He turned to me, and picked up the camera from the coffee table. “Hey, sport! Looking sharp! Let me just—” There was a flash before I could do anything.

“Screep!”

“Hah! Your face! I don’t know how that gets you every time. Now, say cheese!”

“Cheese!” The flash was less pronounced this time, even if it still had me blinking spots from my eyes.

“There’s a good girl.” Dad squinted at the polaroid. “Look at that, Miss Fluttershy. She makes such a perfect, little Beast.” He glanced towards first the single candle in the room and then back towards her. “You’re sure you don’t need more.”

“No, this is fine.” Fluttershy smiled before taking the picture. “There was a mix up with one of Twilight’s spells a while back, and— Oh, how cute!~ Her face is just perfect!”

“There’s a reason I always need to catch her off guard with the first shot.” Dad smirked. “Now go on back to your mother to get that packed up. I don’t want Miss Cheerilee piledriving me again just because we accidentally flew through a cloud or something.”

“Gotcha, Dad!” I started canter back to the bathroom.

Continuing on to the bathroom, I found it closed with the kinds of construction noises that always accompanied Mom getting gussied up for a date with Dad. I eyed it cautiously, not sure of what to make of the fact, but eventually I just shrugged and went to my room to carefully take everything off.



Mom had made Dad drag out his dress uniform; that wasn’t a good sign.

As we were circling above the schoolhouse, it was quite clear they weren’t the only ones who’d dressed up. They were still the best dressed by a mile, but everypony had put on at least a bow tie. There were also way more ponies than I thought there’d be, even a couple other guards among them. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Mom and Dad had—

“Huzzah! We told you she would land a leading role, Tia! Such is her right as my future captain!”

“Uuuuuugh….” I put my head in my hooves and wondered if a headlong dive would be enough to get me outta the play. “Tell me you didn’t, Dad.”

“Umm… well…” Dad smiled sheepishly. “I only meant to mention it to her in passing, but then she mentioned it to Princess Celestia, and Princess Celestia figured the play would make for a nice, simple night away from the castle, and Princess Luna just loved that idea, so… yeah….”

Deep breaths.

“Are all the princesses gonna be there?!”

Or not.

“No, no.” Dad waved for me to settle down. “Princesses Twilight and Cadance are covering for them.”

“Well, can somepony cover for me?!” This was not deep breathing. This was the opposite of calm and collected.

“I think they both, uh…” His smile got even more sheepish. “I think they want to see you in particular. I mean, they could have picked any play in Equestria and just walked in, right?”

“Shush, you. You’re not helping.” Mom flicked Dad with her tail.

“Well, what do I even say?! I’d be freaking out too if the princesses did this to me as a colt. It’s like that time you walked in on those ballet lessons my dad forced down my throat when I was ten.”

“They made you more dexterous, didn’t they?”

“They also made me the laughing stock of the school when you told everypony about them.”

“Mom, Dad! Not helping!”

“Look, Night.” Mom flew closer for a nuzzle. “They aren’t expecting a world class performance. They just want to see the cute, little filly that insisted on following us to work.”

“Mmmmrgmrfffagmrff….” Closing my eyes, I forced my breathing to calm as I clicked my way through the sky. When I opened them, the stars seemed to twinkle brighter. “Okay, I’m going in.”

“Have fun, sweetie.” Mom darted in for another kiss. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

“Yeah, you got this champ.” Dad chuckled. “Go break a few legs for me. And remember. If things really get that bad, you can just picture everypony in their underwear.”

“How does that even—”

Mom and Dad broke formation before I could question them more, circling down to their get tickets at the schoolhouse below. Sighing, I curved off to the left to dive down and approach the stage. I landed smoothly on the grass, and scampered up to the stairs behind the stage without so much as a squeak.

I was unflappable, unconquerable, and the undisputed alpha of the colony. I would walk out on stage, give the greatest performance anypony had ever seen, and I would convince my Luna-forsaken twitchy leg to stop quaking before I did!

Stomping the offending hind leg a few times for good measure, I took another deep breath before going backstage, and by the Nightmother was I glad I did. Everypony was darting about as they made last minute changes and checks. Costumes were mismatched, Snips and Snails were blowing on set pieces that still had their paint wet, and every other pony was taking the time to desperately practice lines one more time.

“Hey, Night! You made it!”

Diamond and the others waved at me from near several racks of costumes, and I hastily moved over to hang my Beast costume up so I could start tossing on the Prince outfit for the beginning of the play.

“I told you she’d show.” Diamond smuggly collected a couple bits from the others.

“I almost didn’t….”

“But you still did!~” Diamond smirked. “For only true love’s kiss can—”

“Wrong play, Diamond!”

“What? Ugh, you’re no fun!”

“Eurgh. Drown me in tree sap, why don’t you?” Scoots gagged, knocking Rumble away with a wing when he tried to do just that with a kiss. “Dude! Not funny!” She ruffled her wings, and looked away with a huff—cheeks flaming black as everypony else giggled at our suffering.

“Five minutes, everypony!” Miss Cheerilee rushed past with a headset dangling around her neck. “We’re emptying the reception and seating the audience now!”

“I’ve got this. I’ve got this. I’ve got this.” Fidgeting as I mumbled under my breath, I tuned out the others’ chatter. My stomach butterflies were whipping up hurricane after hurricane, while my frogs were the sweatiest they’d ever been. Not even Diamond made me—

“Hey.”

“Screep!” I jumped as I was ambushed by a nuzzle to the shoulder. Diamond had snuck up beside me, and was beaming up at me with a smile as soft as moonlight.

“Get it together, soldier. You can’t let a little old play scare you after having wrestled manticores, can you?”

“It was just a cub, and you know it.” I bit my lip. “Besides, I know how to fight…. I’m not good at acting.”

“Neither am I, but I’m still here.” The smile turned mischievous. “I need my Night in shining armor to get me through this. Who else can take the tomatoes for me?”

“You’re awful, you know that.” The tips of my lips twitched as the storm my stomach butterflies were whipping up changed course for warmer, headier skies. “It’s no wonder my dad likes you.”

“Two minutes everypony!”

“What’s not to like? I’m flawless.” Diamond gave a haughty sniff before she devolved into a tip tap of tittering. “You know what my Daddy does when he has to give a big speech to his investors? He imagines them all in their underwear.”

“That’s what Dad said to do.” I blinked. “How does that even help? Most ponies don’t even wear underwear.”

“That’s why it works, doofus!” Diamond pushed me towards the curtain with a giggle. “Just try it!”

I hesitantly peeked out, the spotlights dazzling my eyes even through my shades. The audience was chatting and laughing, with only a few looking towards the stage right now, but I knew that would be changing soon enough. With a deep breath, I closed my eyes, and did as Diamond told me.

Then, I opened them, and snorted at the sight of Dad dropping his pants to actually show me his underwear—covered completely with Mom’s cutie mark.

He winked at me and waggled his butt as Mom blushed darker than Nightmare Moon. She held her head in her hooves, sighing, while the rest of the town just laughed at the sight, looking between the two of us before standing up to do the same. They waved at me even as the Guard did their best to stare straight and not break form, but that became increasingly hard as both diarchs fell into a fit of giggles.

“I told you we should have dressed up, Tia. Just look what we missed out on.”

“Screep!”

“Hail, young Nightingale! Take heart in the shamelessness of thine father!”

“Mom’s going to kill him if she doesn’t die from this.” I pulled back from the curtain giggling even as I continued to burn black.

“It’s showtime, everypony! Get in position while I—“ Miss Cheerilee made the mistake of poking her head out of the curtain. “Why is the audience already in their underwear?! That’s never a good sign!”

Shaking my head, I took my spot on the stage. One last glance towards Diamond, and an exchange of smiles later, I turned to face my doom as the curtains finally parted.

“Long, long ago, in a kingdom long forgotten, there lived a thestral prince of great renown.” Truffle Shuffle’s voice cracked halfway through the opening line, his new and surprisingly deep tenor swerving back into the mousey squeak he’d had the first six months I’d known him.

“A perfect specinnamon of celestial physique, he—” The speakers sputtered a bit as he flipped through his cards. “—was sought by many a princess for his power, wealth, and grand… grand…”

“I knew we shoulda sicced Sweetie on him.” Apple Bloom glowered under her breath as she went through the motions of serving me fine cheese and bloodwine. I channeled my inner Bitterbite—raising my nose as high as it would go, even as I sipped the Beet Positive—and I made sure to wave Bloom away like an insect when I was done.

“Fame!” Miss Cheerilee’s whispers bled in as static through the mike as Truffle finally managed to keep going. “Yet, even with the world at his beck and call, the prince hungered for more. In truth, he was nothing but a loafsome and slothily beast.”

Sweetie twitched beside me, scowling at the amazing job our new castle butcher was doing. I, on the other hoof, had to fight not to giggle as relief flooded through the last of my butterflies. The princesses were trying not to smile with every mistake.

If that was the standard I needed to beat, I was in the clear.

“One morning, the prince had just finished his elevenses, and was preparing to hang up to chillax through the rest of the day. However, a knock on the doors forced him back to his throne to listen to whatever foal dared to interrupt his sleep, and when it was nothing but an ancient and twisted hag that was brought before him—begging for shelter from a fierce and wild storm—he scoffed and instantly refused her, ordering his servants to kick her out.”

Stomping up to my throne, I sat on it and did my best to look down on Pina Colada like she was worse than the mud on my hooves. She actually flinched at my scowl—which made me feel like dirt—but it meant I was doing my part.

“The old nag warned him not to act in haste, and she asked if she could at least have a simple loaf of bread for the road. Instead, he refused her again, and took to the job of booting her from his home personally. The servants implored him to take pity, claiming it would be no trouble to give her some food, but he was adamant.”

Hefting Pina with a squeak, I flew to the edge of the stage and chucked her into the pile of pillows that lay waiting for her.

“As her body hit the snow, however, the storm exploded around the prince, the awful whinnying of Windigoes nothing compared to the icy cold stare of hatred before him. The hag was gone, replaced with the most-honorable Nightmother.”

“We had hoped the rumors untrue, foul curr.” A scowling Dinky stepped onto the stage, dressed in my old nightmare night costume. “But clearly thine family has fallen far since we left for other lands.”

“Tia, look! Look! It’s me! Project thine voice farther, little me! You do not give the Royal Canterlot Voice justice!”

“Weep, foalish prince! For thine impudence has earned thee a most foul curse this day!” Oh sweet Nightmother, Dinky had started using that sunblasted spell again. I didn’t need any prompting to fall prostrate with my ears ringing like that, and the lights needed no prompting to burst in a rain of glass.

The curtain closed on the prologue with everypony who was onstage completely deaf and everypony offstage scrambling to clean up the broken glass. Even with the sight of the princesses giggling at us as the curtains dropped, I couldn’t shake the pit that had rolled back into my stomach.



Everything kept getting worse, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The lights kept flickering no matter what we did, and ponies were walking about the stage like it was coated in eggshells even though we’d cleaned up all the glass. Diamond’s dress had caught on a nail and torn as she rushed out on stage for her big entrance, while Rumble had—somewhat impressively—ripped his costume as he was flexing on one of his ego trips.

And no matter how in character that last one was, we really didn’t need Rarity fainting because of it.

So our tailor was down and unable to make repairs, while half the backstage crew was stuck fixing the lights. If it were up to me, we’d have been making a tactical retreat, but here I was, a squirming mess on a hoofmade throne that was just a little to small for my butt.

Truffle was going on about Belle’s perilous journey through the forest and up the mountain, every other word squeaking at this point as construction noises could be heard in the background. He finally got to the point where Belle reached the door, and I swallowed my butterflies to stand and imperiously stalk to the doors hiding Diamond.

Too bad the throne decided to come with me.

Ignoring the snickers from the audience, I tossed open the door to roar at the ‘intruders.’

“Who dares enter my do— Aaack!” Instead, I ended up clutching my chest in a coughing fit as I found Diamond staring up at me with a pout turned up to eleven. Her eyes could have punctured adamantine, and the fake tears only made things worse.

My neck was on fire as the snickers in the audience turned to laughter as I fell on my butt—right back into the seat—while Silver smirked as Belle’s father at me.

“You want my blessing, then you’d better let us inside before the cold gets us.”

My neck burned blacker as the audience laughed even harder, and I glared at Silver until she rolled her eyes.

“I mean, ah… no… what a horrible hideous beast. Run, my sweet, little Belle. Run, and I shall hold him off.”

The complete and total deadpan left a few ponies clutching their gut on the ground.

“You could at least try, you know,” I hissed quietly in her ear as I raised Silver by the scruff of her neck.

“Daddy, no!” Unlike Silver, Diamond took the initiative and actually played things straight this time, stomping right up to me and kicking my shins in an effort to get me to drop her ‘father.’ “Take me instead, you brute! My father is just an old fart, and he’ll give you terrible indigestion!”

“I do no eat ponies, you foals!” I reared back with a roar and a whinny before tossing Silver in the offstage pillows like I had Pina. “If you insist, however, I will spare your father’s life.” I grabbed Diamond’s pastern and pulled her towards me with a squeak. “You must only serve me for the rest of your days, doing anything I require of you.”

“A-anything?”

“Anything.” I jerked her closer with a growl. “You can start by making me a sandwich. The kitchen is down that way.” I pointed, almost shoving her on her way.. “Lumiere! Cogsworth! Potts! See that our new guest knows the ropes, and provide her room and board! I shall be tending to the garden while I wait!”

I stomped off stage as Apple Bloom, Pipsqueak, and Bee Bop poked out from the other side. As soon as I was out of view, I fell to the ground in a heap, and curled up for a minute or two.

“I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.” I peeked out from behind the curtain to watch Bee Bop rapping her way through all of Mrs. Potts’ lines as she explained all the duties of being a maid to Belle.

“I gotta do this. There’s too much going wrong already for me to bail now.”



Two hours of pain and embarrassment later, I was still a quivering wreck on the floor.

It didn’t get easier, just doing it didn’t help, and the only ponies who seemed to be trying were me, Rumble, and the rest of the girls. Even Silver started trying after seeing the trainwreck that was Mrs. Potts rapping like some sort of wannabe gangster.

Shivering like mad at all the craziness the mob of extras had pulled while Rumble chased me, I jumped when Miss Cheerilee put a hoof on my withers, hoofing me my last costume change for the night. She tried to smile at me, but it looked like she was as close to collapsing as me.

“Just one more scene, Night. I decided that we’re cutting the epilogue.”

“Really?” I looked up with a squeak. “I can— I can do it.”

“Everypony’s ready to drop as it is.” Miss Cheerilee shook her head. “We’re calling curtain after the curse is broken. All you need to do is make it to the kiss, alright?”

“Yes… Ma’am….” I flopped back to the ground, too spent to really pay attention to the stirring butterflies in my stomach.

With all the speed of a glacier, I put on my dress uniform like a prisoner heading to his trial. Rarity had had Princess Twilight do a thing at the place to it so that I could pull off the transformation back without any smoke and mirrors, but that meant the whole thing was buried under a mountain of glue and yak fur until I— until I kissed Diamond.

I shivered at the thought.

Only that fact kept me going as I woodenly put one leg before the next: one stupid kiss was all that was left. Run now, and Rarity would probably make me wait ages to get my uniform back. All I had to do was peck Diamond on the lips like Silver and I had practiced.

One. Stupid. Kiss.

I walked onstage to find Diamond already waiting for me. She was fidgeting as I came up to her, neither of us really looking at each other until Silver gave a threatening cough.

My breath caught as we both looked up at each other. She was… perfect…. Her mane had been done up so there was a small bun in the back—the rest flowing past her shoulders in waves as smooth as silk. Eye shadow, glitter, and rouge made her face a canvas more pretty than Luna’s night ever was. Her silver dress sparkled like the stars as the spotlight shone down upon her, and her tiara glimmered like a little moon upon her brow. The only thing missing was her confident, knowing smirk, but that was back and out in force as she waited for me to say something.

“I— I thought the intermission was taking a little long.”

There was chuckling in the background, but all I really heard was her giggling.

“Would… would you care to have this dance with me, milady?”

“I would love to, my noble steed.”

My hoof almost burst into flames as Diamond took it, but I still pulled the sun closer to dance with it like the moon. We took turns leading as the music rose and fell, the out of place rapping of Mrs. Potts’ signature song nothing but static in my ears until a steaming Sweetie finally tackled Bee Bop to the ground.

Still, we danced. We spun with nothing but the instrumental, letting the dance guide us to the moment my stomach was spinning for. As the music reached the climax, I leaned in to peck Diamond on the lips.

And then I paused—my lips on hers as star-shaped fireworks lit the night. I barely noticed the costume working its magic and leaving me to dance with her in my dress uniform.

As I pulled back, we both gave a little squeak.

I looked down at her; she looked up at me.

My lips hesitantly met hers again.

“Yes.” The pounding of my heart was so loud I couldn’t hear myself answer her.

“W-what?”

“Yes, I will be your fillyfriend. I… I want to do icky colt things with you.”

I was vaguely aware of the curtain dropping as Diamond lunged like a hungry predator to pull me to her again. I could barely hear the audience loudly demanding an encore. Dad’s rumbling laughter just barely managed to make it through my heady haze, while my friends snickered and chanted somewhere off to the side.

None of it really mattered as Diamond nuzzled her way deeply into my chest.

“She said yes!”

The third kiss was my breaking point, and I toppled over with a screep and a bleat.