> The Grim Reaper looks like Paul Bunyan > by moonbutters > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > The chapter in which everything is perfectly fine. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Dash, you go for the face. AJ, for the legs. Fluttershy, continue to get ponies out of here to saftey! Rarity, you're with me! We're gonna be blasting this thing until it's gone! Pinkie!" "Party cannon set to lethal, Twilight!" Pinkie interrupted, bouncing on the spot. Nearby, a huge lizardlike creature of a kind that nopony had ever seen before rampaged through Canterlot, destroying buildings and leaving a path of utter destruction in its wake. "Twilight," said Rarity, "don't you think this is a little big for our little group? Where are the other princesses?" "I don't know, and we don't have time to find out!" shouted Twilight, a beam of pure magical energy lancing from her horn and into the monster's side. It didn't seem to notice. Rainbow Dash flew around the thing's head, dodging its swipes like a madmare and occasionally punching it in the head, but to no effect. Pinkie had already fired a huge, pony-sized missile into the back of the beast, and the explosion had only caused a few nearby buildings to crumble and fall. Applejack was being dragged along behind the monster by a lasso that she had somehow managed to get around its leg. In other words, they were losing. And they were about to start losing a lot worse. The monster kicked out with its right leg, and practically punted Pinkie Pie and her party cannon into a wall, causing the wall to crack and break. A violet shield appeared around Pinkie and shielded her from the falling debris, which completely covered the shield. Rainbow Dash had seen the whole thing and had paused mid-flight to see if her friend was okay, and the monster used that to its advantage by slapping her out of the air and into the ground, forming a crater. Meanwhile, Rarity and Twilight continued blasting away at the monster's side while alternating turns of moving the rubble off of the shield that protected Pinkie. Applejack gave up on the lasso and instead ran to the crater that had formed around the fallen Rainbow Dash. Glancing up, she could see the monster staring down towards where Twilight and Rarity were standing. "C'mon now, sugarcube." Yelled Applejack as she scooped up Dash onto her back before leaping out of the crater. They were just in time as right after Applejack cleared the edge, the huge creature stomped right in the middle of the crater where Dash had been only moments before. A pair of dual beams, one violet and one blue, struck the creature in the eye just before a pink missile streaked into its face and exploded. "Give it all you've got, Rarity!" shouted Twilight as she increased the strength of her own energy beam, causing it to glow brighter. Pinkie loaded another missile and fired, this time aiming for the neck of the monster. Then, the thing roared. it was not a roar of pain, nor a roar of anger. No, it was a roar of triumph. The creature opened its maw wide, and time seemed to slow as a wall of white-hot flame poured from its open mouth, headed directly for Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie Pie. Twilight raised a shield over her two friends and herself, and the fire poured over it without harming them. After a few seconds, the flames shifted to a new location that was a short distance from the creature's feet, and then the beast closed its mouth, ceasing the blast of fiery death. It took Twilight less than a second to deduce exactly what the monster had been aiming at. She teleported through the shield to where Applejack and Dash had been, where they should be. There was nothing left. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were gone. -/--/\--\- You have died. said the white block lettering that now floated in the darkness in front of two new unconscious ponies. Meeting new souls of this variety was usually a nice experience; rarely did a pony be rude to me. I gave the newcomers a quick once-over: one was a pegasus with a cyan coat and a rainbow mane, and the other was an "earth pony" with an orange coat and a sandy mane. Hidden in the darkness behind them, I snapped my fingers and immediately they both awoke. "Geez, that got hot for a moment there AJ... but seeing as we're not dead I guess it wasn't too hot for me 'n you." I stifled a laugh at the words of the rainbow-maned pegasus mare. "Uh, sugarcube?" said the orange pony. She was staring at the words as she got to her hooves. "Are y'all sure we're not dead?" The pegasus looked up and saw the words before snorting once. "Pinkie, this isn't a very funny joke. You can stop now." she said, standing as well. I remained silent, as it was best to let the recently departed figure out that they were, well dead on their own. The sign was a little extra thing on my part, as it eased some beings into being dead much more easily. So, I watched silently as the pegasus began to panic, as no being had replied to her response. "Pinkie! This isn't... this isn't funny..." she said, her voice cracking. "Dash... don't be like that. Maybe it's one o' Discord's pranks or somethin'." said the orange pony, her voice wavering a little. "Now, where's muh hat?" "We're possibly dead and you're worried about your hat?" said the blue pegasus, giving the orange pony an annoyed look. All signs of despair had left the pegasus's face, and instead she looked determined. "Well, uh, Dash, does it look like there's anyplace else t' go?" replied the orange pony, using a hoof to point out into the blackness. "S' not like there's anypony else here other than us." I regarded the orange pony's statement with curiosity. Why did they come in as a pair? Usually the new souls come alone, unless they're bonded through strong love. Or hate, but that wasn't the case here. Obviously, those two were lovers! Oh, I could not wait to hear how they met! It's so rare to get a good love story nowadays. I watched the orange pony look around on the black floor for a hat that was not there, and had to hold back another laugh as the rainbow maned one began to search as well. Heck, if they found the orange one's hat then I'd get an order from Above to send 'em back. "Aha!" shouted the pegasus, holding aloft a brown cowpony hat in her wing. And then a letter addressed to me appeared in front of my face. "No fexin' way..." I said, unfolding the letter. I scanned it quickly before releasing my breath. It was from my long-dead yet still-kicking mother. I would have to write back or she'd kick my fanny from here to heaven. Later. The orange pony trotted over to the blue pegasus and reached for her hat, only for it to be held out of her reach. "Rainbow Dash you give my hat right now or I'll-" "You'll what? Kill me? We're already dead!" "We don't know that for sure now, so give me my hat back!" The orange pony- Applejack, jumped on top of the blue pegasus and tried to wrestle the hat away from her, to no avail. "Dash! Please!" "Well, since you asked so nicely..." said the blue pegasus- Rainbow Dash, before the hat was snatched out of her wings by an angry looking Applejack. I figured that I had given them enough time to get over being dead, and if I hadn't then the worst that could happen is that they ran, and that would be funny. Probably. So, I revealed myself. Neither pony noticed, as I was still behind them, so I took a few steps to get a bit closer and cleared my throat before giving my best friendly smile. Like most beings, both screamed at the sight of me before turning tail and bolting. And man, they were fast! The two ponies weren't able to get very far as I made two walls form in front of them, which gradually crossed at a point. It was, oh, four seconds in when I heard the cries of distress from them reaching a dead end. I leisurly walked towards them with a polite smile on my face, and eventually the blackness gave way to the two ponies clutching eachother in terror. It made me wish that I was allowed to wear the silver cloak that my mother had made for me instead of the dreary and apparently terrifying black cloak that was apparently terrifying. Upon catching sight of me, Applejack spoke. "N-now listen here Mr. T-tall Dark n' Creepy... I would mighty appreciate i-it if ya would lea-leave us alone so there ain't no trouble..." I couldn't help it. I laughed. My hearty laugh seemed to calm the two ponies down a little, but they were definetly still afraid. I kindly lowered myself to about the hight of the ponies and sloke softly to them. "Now, why would there be any trouble? The trouble is over!" Dash looked confused. "Soooo... you're not here to hurt us?" I laughed again before answering. "No no no... I'm not here to hurt you! I'm your guide to the afterlife!" I removed my hood to expose my face, and both of the ponies gasped. "I know, I know, I'm so handsome. Paul Bunyan, right? Or is that the humans who have that story?" I came up from my bow and scratched my beard in thought, only to be interupted by Applejack a few moments later. "You're no pony! What exactly are you? And who's Paul Bunyan?" "Yeah," I muttered to myself, "definitely the humans." I looked at the two ponies and stood back up on all four of my hooves and struck a mighty pose. "Grim Reaper, the Centaur of Death, at your service! And, since you asked, Paul Bunyan is a mythical giant human that cut down trees. Nothing you'd have heard before." Rainbow Dash gave me a horrified look. "But... our friends... Scootaloo... no no No No NO!" All of a sudden, the blue pegasus was right in my face, and I took an involuntary step backwards. "YOU SEND US BACK RIGHT NOW YOU BUCKER! OR SO HELP ME Celestia I WILL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!" I took another step backwards, but the pegasus stayed right in my face. I had no option but to stop time for a bit to think. The feisty one wanted to go back. I looked at her closely as she hovered frozzen in midair. She did look a little young to be here. Since I had already filled my soul quota for the day I guess it wouldn't hurt to have some fun. I brought Applejack out of the time stop and she fell over. She was back on her feet in an instant and gawked at her friend for a moment before turning to me. "What in tarnation did you do to Rainbow Dash?" I chose my words carefully as I replied. "I... froze time so I could think. I have to ask you a question." The orange pony raised her eyebrow so high, it almost fell off her face. I continued. "Would you like to go back?" "Would I what now?" "Obviously your friend Rainbow Dash wants to return back. Do you wish this as well, Applejack?" "Waitaminute... how do y'all know our names? Some sort of death mumbo jumbo?" "I heard you talking earlier. Now, answers! Do. You. Want. To. Go. Back." "Well, duhh, of course I want to go back! Long as Dash is coming with me, that is." "Alright, I can send you both back as far as I can before you died so you can avoid it... but only if you both do something for me." "Depends on what you want us to do, Grim Reaper." Applejack replied sassily. "Oh, nothing too bad. Just tell me how you both fell in love with each other." I said, clasping my hands behind my back. "Run that by me again, if ya will?" "It's so rare I get a good love story these days... tell me how you and your rainbow-maned special friend fell in love." "You're kiddin'." "Nope. Not kidding." "Ah need to talk ta Dash.." "No problemo." I snapped my fingers and Rainbow Dash started screaming and hollering at where I had been, only to realize that I was not there. She then turned and started to fly towards me, only to be pulled back by her tail by Applejack. "Desh," said Applejack through the rainbow tail in her mouth, "Eh neb teh tek teh yeh." "What was that Applejack? I couldn't hear you over my tail in your mouth." Dash snarked as she turned around to face Applejack. Applejack, seeing that Rainbow Dash was not going to try and verbally abuse me again, spit the pegasus's tail out of her mouth. "Dash, he's gonna let us go." "Whaaaat?" Dash exclaimed, looking between Applejack and me. "Why? Lemme guess. We have to do something for you." "Yes, you do!" I replied excitedly. "Just tell me how you fell in love with Applejack!" "How I - snrk - fell in love with- ahahahahahahahaha! You're kidding!" Rainbow Dash laughed, doubling over in midair. Applejack did the eyebrow thing again. Eventually, Rainbow Dash stopped laughing and wiped tears from her eyes. "Alright alright, that was pretty funny. What do we have to do really?" I was confused. They were obviously in love, otherwise they would have never showed up together. "I... just told you. Love story in exchange for a second chance at life." "You're serious?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Look, I'm a nice guy. You do something for me and-" Rainbow Dash interrupted me. "No, not that." "Ohhhhhh, so you don't think I can send you baaack-" "It's not that, either." said Rainbow Dash, giving me an annoyed look. Applejack butted in. "Grim Reaper, sir, what ah think Dash is trying tuh say is that, uhhh... we're not a couple?" She gave me a sheepish grin. "Oh, nonsense!" I said, waving my hands as if it could fan their statement away. "How else did both of you end up here, together?" They both looked confused, but Applejack spoke up first. "You mean ponies don't usually show up together?" "Practically never, unless they are bonded through the amazing, astouding, magical power known to the whoooole multiverse (mostly), the power that can cause wars and even bring back the dead!" They were still confused. Geez, I thought I explained it pretty well, but apparently either they're clueless or they didn't hear me. I went with the second option. "I said, practically never, unless they are bonded through the amazing, astouding, magical power known to the whoooole multiverse (mostly), the power that can cause wars and even bring back the dead! Y'know, the whole unbreakable bond thing?" It seems they didn't. "How about I give you a hint? It starts with the letter Ł. You guess first, Applebutt." "Uhhh... l... luh.... luh... lllllll.... lllllluhhhhh... llllluuuhhhh-" "Time's up! Bluebird, your turn!" "Don't call me that! My name is Rainbow Dash! Not bluebeard or whatever! I don't even have a beard!" "Llllluh. Luhluhluh." continued Applejack, obliviously. "Well," I replied, "you're blue, right?" "...Yes." "And you have wings, right?" "Llllick. Llllllike... luck! No no..." "...Yes, but I don't have a beard." "I didn't say beard." "Yeah, you did." "No no, Bluebeard was a human pirate. Or a pony pirate. Or a zork pirate. It doesn't matter. I called you blue bird, not blue beard." "Lispy leprosy lunch. No." "Fine. Whatever." "So, back to what I was saying earlier, what else is blue and has wings?" Rainbow Dash concentrated for a second before.blurting out "Bluebeard!" "No! Humans don't have wings, your Bluebeard was a unicorn, and the zork Bluebeard was a tentacle thing. I think." "Lllllake. No. Lllluuuuck. Darnit, already said that one!" "See? You don't know! It is Bluebeard!" "Do you even know who Bluebeard is, Rainbow Dash?" I asked. "...Yes?" "Whatever. What else has wings and is blue?" "Soarin'?" "Luh luh lickity lackity luh luh liggity liggity lackity..." "I don't know a Soarin'," I replied, tuning out Applejack's repeated attempts at guessing." "Oh." "L. L. L. L. L." Rainbow Dash tapped Applejack on her back. "Applejack..." Applejack waved her off. "Hold on, Rainbow Dash. I got this. Luh luh luh..." "Applejack your turn is over." said Rainbow Dash. I tapped Rainbow Dash on her back and she turned to me. "Focus here, Rainbow Dash! What is blue and has wings?" "I dunno." "A bluebird!" I said, throwing up my hands. "Lllluh. I almost got it! I can feel it!" "That wasn't a very funny joke." "IT WASN'T A JOKE!" I yelled, my voice thundering. Both ponies froze and stared at me. "Now." I said, calming myself down by clasping my hands and taking a few deep breaths. "Where were we?" > The chapter in which everything continues to be perfectly fine. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was utter silence while the two ponies just stared at me. "No, seriously," I said, "where were we? I kinda lost track..." Rainbow Dash was the first to speak. "Something about bluebirds, I think?" "Oh yeah!" I said. "It was a nickname for you because you are blue and have wings like a bluebird!" "Whatever." "What were we talking about before that?" I asked. Applejack tapped her hoof to her chin twice, and then answered me. "Ah was trying to guess a word that starts with "L."" "No no," I said. "After that." Both thought for a moment, with Applejack scratching her head under her hat, and Rainbow Dash biting her tongue. Rainbow Dash answered first. "You were talking about letting us go back... uhhh..." Applejack cut in. "We had to huess a word? The most powerful thing in the multiverse, ah think?" "Ahh, yes. I remember now!" I exclamed, clasping my hands. "Since our earlier guessing game didn't go so well, I'll just tell you. You two were able to show up because of the power of Łove!" The two ponies looked at eachother for a second confusedly before turning back to me and asking at the same time "The power of love?" Then, they looked at each other again and spoke at the same time again. "Hey! Stop it! Stop saying what I was gonna say at the same time! Ugh!" I spoke before the situation got out of hand. "Girls, girls, you're both pretty. And you said it wrong." "Said what wrong?" they both asked, giving each other a me-glare (death-glare!) before turning back to me. "Łove! You said love, not Łove!" I said. "Yeah, well I don't see a differrnce." replied Applejack, doing the dang eyebrow thing again. "How do you do that?" I asked. "Do what?" asked Applejack in return. "The thing with the eyebrow." "What thing with the eyebrow?" asked Applejack as she did the thing with the eyebrow. "Hey, nothing's wrong with Applejack's eyebrows!" said Rainbow Dash, stomping a hoof. "I'm not saying anything is wrong with her eyebrows, just that I think the eyebrow thing is cool!" I replied. "What is the eyebrow thing? Somepony tell me so ah can understand!" "Jackie, your eyebrows are perfectly normal." I ignored Rainbow Dash. "The eyebrow thing is when you raise your eyebrow so high it looks like it might just take off and fly away." "Really?" said Applejack, still doing the eyebrow thing. "Yes, now, back to Łove." "Love." said Applejack, who was not doing the eyebrow thing anymore. "No." I said, facepalming. "Łove. Let's... let's not worry about how it's said. Let me explain the difference, and then we'll move on. Sound good to you girls?" They both nodded and waited paitently while I cleared my throat. "Love is when two beings feel very strongly bonded to each other. This generates Łove, which is the divine force that keeps them together through thick and thin." I explained. "When the beings stop loving each other, Łove can rekindle the flame, so to speak, and help them to love each other again." I checked Applejack's and Rainbow Dash's faces for signs of confusion and found none, so I continued. "Strong love between you two generated enough Łove to keep you together after death." "Okay," said Applejack, "but there's one problem. We're not in love." "But of course you're in love!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands for emphasis. "Uhh..." said Rainbow Dash, looking at me like I had five heads. "We're not in love. Definitely not. In love, that is. We're best friends, not lovers for Celestia's sake!" "Yeah," chimed in Applejack, "what Rainbow Dash said. We may be friends but that don't mean we're lovers." "Ah, but that's where you're wrong!" I said. Then, I took a deep breath. And then, I began to sing. "So what you say is you two aren't in love, That's ok others might miss it too. But here's the truth come straight from my mouth, It's love that makes you two do! Oh, you'll get by with love in the end! Ah, you'll cry on her shoulder in the end! Eh, you'll both be together in the end! Oh, you'll love each other in the end! Let me just sing a second verse-" I was rudely interrupted by Applejack. "Alright! We get it! You think we're in love. And let me tell yuh again, bucko! You are wrong!" "Am I?" I asked. "Let me ask you a few questions." "Ask away." said Applejack. "I will use the Tile of Truth to ensure that you do not lie." I gestured to my side and a white porcelain tile appeared on the floor. "Just step on here. If you lie, we will all know." "Well, ah'm the element o' honesty so tellin' the truth will be no problem!" Applejack said confidently before stepping onto the tile. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed the tile. Oops. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Applejack, almost jumping out of her skin. "AHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Rainbow Dash, taking off and streaking into the air. "Whoops, wrong tile!" I said, snapping my fingers and making the tile disappear. I waited for the screaming to stop before I gestured again and an off-white tile appeared on the floor. "This is the right tile this time. I think." "Are yuh sure?" asked Applejack. 'Cuz ah don't want tuh be scared by a screamin' square again." she gave the new tile a look. "I'll test it out for you, Jackie. It'll be fine!" said Rainbow Dash, coming down from above. She landed on the ground by the tile and poked it with a hoof. Nothing happened. She stepped onto it. Nothing. She got all of the way on it, and sat. "See AJ? I'm perfectly fine!" Applejack narrowed her eyes at Rainbow Dash. "Are yuh sure, sugarcube?" "Totally!" replied Rainbow Dash. Then, the tile cracked, loudly, causing both ponies to jump. "Obviously," I said, "you are not totally sure, otherwise the Tile of Truth wouldn't have cracked at you. Since you're already on the tile, Rainbow Dash, I'll ask you some questions first." "...Okay." replied Rainbow Dash. "First question! Who, out of all of your friends do you spend the most time with?" I smiled, already guessing the answer. "Applejack, but-" I cut her off. "Ah ah ah! Out of all your friends, who did you meet first?" I asked, stroking my beard. "HA! Pinkie Pie! Not Applejack!" "Mmmm... Do you remember how you met this Pinkie Pie?" "She... uhh... she threw me a party once I met her." "What was the theme of the party?" "I dunno. It was a standard party, I guess?" The tile cracked. "Wonderbolts themed?" The tile cracked again. "I can't remember." I waited a second, and hearing no crack, I continued. "When did you meet Applejack?" Rainbow Dash thought for a second before replying. "'Bout a week after Pinkie Pie's party." No crack. I continued. "Where did you meet her?" "Sweet Apple Acres. I don't see what-" "Shh! Which of your friends do you like the most?" "Pinkie-" CRACK. "Twilight-" CRACK. "...Rarity?" CRACK. "Fluttershy!" CRACK. "Fine! Applejack!" I thought for a second before an almost evil smile came to my face. "Do you love Applejack? "Uhh... ummm..." "Whatever your answer is we'll know the truth, Rainbow Dash!" "I... Uhh..." stammered Rainbow Dash. "Y... y..." "That's enough questions for her, my turn!" said Applejack, practically tackling Rainbow Dash off of the badly cracked tile. She took her place on it and looked at me expectantly. "Element o' honesty. No lies here." I raised my eyebrows. "What one of your friends do you spend the most time with?" "Dash. Definetly Dash. Because we're friends." answered Applejack quickly. Rainbow Dash looked at her curiously. "What one of your friends do you enjoy spending time with the most?" "Twi- Rainbow. Not Twilight. Rainbow. Because we like to spend time together as friends." Applejack seemed to be sweating. "How did you meet Rainbow Dash?" I asked, stepping closer to Applejack. Yes, she was definitely sweating. "She... She fell out of one of our apple trees when I bucked it. Landed right on top of me too. I almost bucked her for that, but I didn't." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I dunno why." "Interesting." I said, stroking my beard some more. "Final question: Do you love Rainbow Dash?" Applejack was sweating buckets. She looked at Rainbow Dash, then at me, and then back to Rainbow. "Do ah have tuh answer?" "No, you don't. We'll just put Rainbow Dash back up her and ask her if she loves you." I gave Applejack a friendly smile. She gave me a dirty look in return. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Rainbow Dash, looking supremely angry. "Why are you being so mean?" I frowned. "I'm not mean! I want to prove to you that you both love each other! what's wrong with you loving each other?" Rainbow Dash didn't seem to hear me. "You force us to tell you our deepest secrets! You said you were a nice guy, but you're not! Not even close! If you really were a nice guy, you wouldn't torment us with tales of going back while we forcibly bare our hearts to you!" "What's wrong with being in love with your best friend?" I asked, calmly. "Nothing! Nothing is wrong! It's just not true!" screamed Rainbow Dash. "Dash?" asked Applejack, from her seat on the tile. "It's okay. Ah can answer." Both Rainbow Dash and I fell silent. We both turned and stared at Applejack. She looked at Rainbow Dash sadly. "Dash, you're muh best friend. Ah don't know if ah love you or not, but it wouldn't change our friendship if ah did or not." She took off her hat and held it to her chest. "Ah don't know much 'bout love, that would be Rarity's specialty. What ah do know is that there's nothin' that you would willingly do that would ruin our friendship. Ah really hope that yuh feet the same way, Dash. We may fight or compete sometimes, and it may get a 'lil rough sometimes, but we stick by each other. Always. So, mister Grim Reaper, when you asked if ah loved Rainbow Dash, ah couldn't answer. But now ah know." She paused, and Rainbow Dash took the chance to butt in. "You don't have to do this, Applejack! It's ok!" I said nothing, and stood with my arms by my sides" Applejack looked down at her hat and continued, undeterred. "Ah don't know if ah love Rainbow Dash, but ah do know that we're best friends." At that, she looked up at Rainbow Dash and smiled, tears forming in her eyes. "You'll always be muh best friend, Dash. Always." "Aw, Applejack..." said Rainbow Dash, tears forming in her own eyes. I could feel myself tearing up as well, so i blinked quickly to try to stop it. I watched as Applejack stepped off of the tile towards Rainbow Dash, and as Rainbow Dash landed. They embraced in the cutest hug I had ever seen in all of eternity, and both began crying. I couldn't help it. I cried as well. We all continued to cry for a while. It felt... good to let all of the emotions out. Once everyone stopped crying, we all just stood around awkwardly, trying not to look at each other for about a minute before Applejack spoke. "So, are yuh gonna send us back or not?" I put my pointer finger to my chin in mock thought, and waited a few seconds before replying. "No." CRACK. We all looked at the tile that no one had been touching. it had a fresh crack running across an edge. "Looks like you don't have to be standing on the Tile of Truth for it to work." I said, chuckling. My chuckling quickly became hearty laughter, and a few seconds later, Rainbow Dash joined in, followed closely by Applejack. The whole thing, starting with the two ponies, and ending right here with the crack of the tile, it was all so ridiculous. Once I calmed down and stopped laughing, I smiled and spoke to my two new friends. "I will gladly send you back. Heck, I'll throw in something to help you survive whatever made you die in the first place. You two deserve a long and happy life togeth- I mean- uhh... together as friends! yes! that is definitely what I was going to say! Once you're back up there, you can try your hooves at life again." Both ponies looked at me gratefully, and I continued. "In order for me to aid you in avoiding a visit to me in the next five minutes after you get back up there, I need to know how you both died. And what you were doing about three and a half minutes before you died." I snapped my fingers and a desk with a pen and some paper appeared. I rested my arms on it and grabbed a pen. "Well," started Rainbow Dash, "We were called to Canterlot to fight a really big lizard thing and it blew fire at us and literally roasted us to death." I finished scribbling down some notes. "That sounds unpleasant. Were you fighting the monster for more than three minutes before you died?" Applejack answered me this time. "No, we had just arrived by then." "And how big was this lizard thing?" "Really big!" said Rainbow Dash. I sighed. "I need a more exact height. Helps me help you better." "How about I fly up to how high it was? Would that be good?" asked Rainbow Dash. "That would be fine." I said. I would have said more, but she was already gone, speeding up, and up, and up. "That's Dash for ya." drawled Applejack, looking up at her rapidly ascending friend. Rainbow Dash eventually stopped flying up, and I did a quick measurement using the spot directly below her and a spot ten feet away and the angle I had to look up at to see her to get a final answer of 'Really Really Big Lizard.' I motioned for her to come back down, and a few seconds later she was by Applejack's side. "What you need to do is very simple. Here, I have a whistle." I held out my right hand to the ponies. In it was a brass whistle on some old string. "Blow this whistle once you're close to the giganto-lizard, and then stay back. I won't spoil the surprise." I used my other hand to hold the old string so that Applejack could put it on her neck. "Ah just blow on it when ah'm close tuh the lizard and then stay back?" asked Applejack. "Blow really really hard. And then stay back." "Hey," said Rainbow Dash, "Thanks for being a nice guy. What I said earlier, it wasn't true-" I cut her off. "It was true at the time. The tile didn't crack, did it? No. So it was the truth. And, I'm sorry." "It's ok. We forgive you. Right AJ?" Rainbow Dash looked to her friend, who nodded in agreement. "Well..." I started. "I guess it's time to send you back?" "I reckon you're right." replied Applejack, stepping over to me. Rainbow dash followed her, and before I knew it , I was being hugged by two ponies. After our hug, they stood together, about a few feet away from me. I asked them one last question as I prepared the spell. "Are you two sure that you aren't in love?" The magic in my hands began to crackle loudly. "Ah don't know, really." said applejack, looking at Rainbow Dash. The magic in my hands shot out and formed a glowing white sphere around the two friends. Dash looked back at her and continued. "...But for now, we're just friends." And with that, they were gone. I smiled sadly and looked down. Then, I looked back up and grinned. The Tile of Truth had a fresh crack in it. -/--/\--\- "Dash, you go for the face. AJ, for the legs. Fluttershy, continue to get ponies out of here to saftey! Rarity, you're with me! We're gonna be blasting this thing until it's gone! Pinkie!" "Party cannon set to lethal, Twilight!" Pinkie interrupted, bouncing on the spot. Nearby, a huge lizardlike creature of a kind that nopony had ever seen before rampaged through Canterlot, destroying buildings and leaving a path of utter destruction in its wake. "Twilight," said Rarity, "What are AppleJack and Rainbow Dash doing? Because it doesn't look like Dash is going for the face, although Jackie might be going for the legs..." Twilight looked over towards where the monster was rampaging through the city and could see Rainbow Dash and Applejack side by side, running towards the monster. Once they had gotten a little ways in front of the monster, they both stopped. What do they think they are doing? thought Twilight. She could see Dash shout something to the monster, causing it to turn and face them. Applejack then put something in her mouth and blew, and Twilight could hear the shrill sound of a whistle. For a second, everything seemed to freeze, and then it all started up again as an eagle that was easily triple the size of the monster came down from the sky and plucked the giant lizard thing right out of the city. The eagle flew off, somehow disappearing into the clouds. Looking around at her friends, Twilight was glad to see that they were all ok, but it looked like Dash and Applejack were... kissing? Yep, they were kissing. How irresponsible of them! There was work to do and a city to rebuild! She began to wander over to give them a lecture on the proper times for making out. -/--/\--\- A giant lizard was lying on the ground in the darkness of my domain. In front of it was a series of pictographs that would hopefully make it clear to the lizard that it was dead, and in big trouble. I snapped my fingers, and it woke. This was going to be... ...interesting.