> Portal > by Ultimauser50 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter 1 The Courtesy Call > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inside room #212 I begin to wake up and I shake my head as I sit up. “Ugh, how long was I out? My head feels like one of Pinkie Pie’s parties went wrong in my head.” I say to myself holding my head in my hand. “Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days.” says a robotic voice. “What?! Fifty days?! Is it really taking Princess Celestia and Luna THAT long to deal with that crazy robot?!” I yelled in confusion. “In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Celestial Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.” said the robotic voice. “Okay, whatever.” I said with an annoyed tone. “You will hear a buzzer. When you hear a buzzer, look up at the ceiling.” A loud buzzer goes off and I look at the ceiling. “Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor.” A loud buzzer goes off and I look at the floor. “Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.” “Wow, I feel soooo great.” I said with sarcasm. “There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.” I look to the right and I see the painting. “Okay.” I walk around the bed and stand in front of the painting. “This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art.” A buzzer goes off and I stare at the art with a blank expression. “Okaay, now what?” I ask. “You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music.” Classical music begins to play. “Oh yeah, just nice.” I said crossing my arms and rolling my eyes. The music then gets interrupted by the buzzer. “Glad that’s over.” “Good. Now please return to your bed.” “Uh, okay?” I walk over to my bed and I get my legs under my blanket. “Okay? What next? Am I supposed to go back to sleep? How can I? It’s the middle of the day, how am I supposed t-” I instantly fall back to sleep. Later I wake up again to the same voice. And the room is in ruins. “Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine…nine nine ni- This courtesy calls to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate.” said the same robotic voice. As the voice then fades out, I then sit up holding my head again. “What the-? M-My head. Ugh.” I groaned holding my head. “Hello? Anyone in there?” asked Wheatley from behind the room door. Then there’s a knock on the door. “Hello? Hellooooooo?” called Pinkie Pie. “Is that, Pinkie?” I muttered to myself. “Hello?! David, are you in there!?” yelled Twilight. “Tw-Twilight?” I then stagger to my feet. “Is anyone in there at all?” called out Rarity. “Y-Yeah! I-I’m here! Just, just give a minuet!” I yelled weakly. “HA! I knew someone was alive in there.” said Wheatley. I stumble towards the door leaning against the wall and I open it. “AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-” I give Wheatley a death glare. “Umm… good. Looking good actually.” “Wh-Whatever.” I groaned. Wheatley and the others enter my room. “What happened?” asked Twilight looking around my room. “I-I don’t know, I remember, waking up, and the room was in much better shape than this at the time, and I was going through a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.” I explained. “Us too.” Said Rainbow Dash. “Did they make you look at a painting and listen to boring music.” I asked. Everypony except Rarity and Wheatley confirmed. “Well, I liked it. I didn’t think it was boring at all.” Rarity said, defending her classical music. “Riiight. Anyway, after that they told me to go back to sleep, and the next thing I know I wake up hearing your voices, and I got this terrible headache.” I continued to explain. “Well, don’t worry. I’m absolutely sure you’re fine. There’s plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow…” Wheatley said in an attempt to keep everyone calm “Please prepare for emergency evacuation.” said the robotic voice. “What?!” shouted Fluttershy in fear. “Stay calm! ‘Prepare’ – that’s all there saying. ‘Prepare.’ It’s all fine. Alright? Don’t move. I’m gonna get us out of here. Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto something. Word of advice, up to you.” Everypony one looked at each other worriedly as Wheatley opened a door over my bed and went inside and closed the door. The room then starts to move and shake. “Are you guys alright down there?!” asked Wheatley. “Yeah, we’re fine!” confirmed Twilight. “Okay!” The room then stops shaking and Wheatley comes out of the tiny door. “Well David, the reason for your headache is…well most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you and your friends have been under for… quite a lot longer, and it’s not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.” Wheatley said trying to make it sound as normal as possible. “What!?” shouted everypony in shock and fear. “Calm down! Okay now everybody just caaalm down. At least it’s not THAT serious. I mean, you guys are able to talk, it looks like your minds are stable, that’s good. So it isn’t as bad as you guys think it is.” said Wheatley trying to keep everyone calm. “Oh really? It’s not as bad as we think?! Can you at least tell us how bad it is?” I said. “Well, n-not really? I’m not a CAT scanning machine, but I can tell that you guys are acting within normal behavior, so yeah. It’s not that bad.” “Oh, I sure hope so.” said Fluttershy quietly. An alarm suddenly goes off. “Oh great. What now?!” I said, annoyed. “All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.” said the robotic voice “Uh oh. You guys may want to hold onto something again. I’m gonna get us out of here!” Wheatley then goes inside the door above the bed again and the room begins to vibrate violently. “W-Whoa! Wh-What’s going on?!” asked Rainbow Dash, looking around the room. “I-I’m n-not sure!” responded Twilight. “E-Everybody, g-grab onto something!!” I shouted. Everypony then grabs onto random objects around the room and the left wall in the room fall to pieces. “Alright, I wasn’t going to mention this to you all, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here. How are you guys doing down there? Still holding on?” asked Wheatley. “Yes! But I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on! My hands are pretty weak do to the fact that I just woke up! I don’t know if I can hold on much longer!” I shouted struggling to hang on to the closet bar. “Yeah, again sorry about that. The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects. Hold on, this is gonna be a bit tricky.” The room then hits a metal bar causing the room to fall apart more and the wall is completely gone. “And of course nobody tells ME anything. Nooo, why should we they tell me anything? Why should I be informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I’m supposed to be in charge of?” “Heh, this guy sure knows how to complain.” I laughed. “It’s not complaining, it’s whining.” Rarity said correcting me. “There’s a difference?” I asked. “Yes, there is.” “Oi, it’s close…can you see?” “Yeah!” I shouted. “See what? All I see are metal crates everywhere.” Pinkie Pie said. “Ah recon he’s talkin’ about one of them testin’ areas, but ah don’t see it.” Applejack explained. The room then begins to swing forward and back. “Wait, are you really going to-?” I ask in fear. “Yeah, I’ve got no choice! Have I got enough space?” “I wouldn’t bet money on it.” I said gripping the closet bar tighter. “Agh, just…I just gotta get through here…” The room then slams into another room then it begins to ascend. “Whoa!” shouted everypony. “Gah! Hey, careful!” I shouted. “Oops, sorry. I just gotta concentrate! And whose fault do you think it’s going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?” “Is he really still on that?” asked Rainbow Dash, trying to hold back a laugh. “I know right.” I said. The room then hits a wall. “Grah!” shouts everypony. The room then starts to slowly rise while grinding against the wall. “Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one.” “Y-Yeah, no kidding.” I stuttered trying to get my grip back. “Okay, now listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks—and no one’s gonna ask, don’t worry— but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive, alright? Not dead.” “If no one’s gonna ask, then why’re y’all telling us this?” ask Applejack. “You know, just in case. It’s like, like a little failsafe, I guess. Okay almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There’s equipment in there we’re gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station.” “W-Wait! That’s a solid wall! Don’t tell me you’re gonna-” I asked in pure fear. “Yup.” Wheatley instantly confirmed, cutting me off. “What?! That’s crazy!” shouted Twilight. “I’m sorry but it’s the only way! Get ready…” The room then swings back a little and slams into the wall causing everyone to get propelled forward. “GRAAH!” shouted everypony, as most of us were almost launched forward. The room then begins to move backwards. “Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there’s one mystery solved. I’m going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!” “Everyone! Brace for impact!!” I shouted, closing my eyes. The room then hits the wall again but doesn’t hit as hard this time and everyone moves forward slightly. Everypony then lets out a sigh of relief. The room then backs up again. “Almost there! Remember: you’re all looking for guns that make holes. Not bullet holes, but—” “You mean those portal guns? Yeah, we’ve used them before. We know what to do.” interrupted Rainbow Dash. “Oh, that’s good. Now really do hold on this time!” The room then moves top speed and breaks through the wall. Everypony has a good grip on the closet bar so they don’t fly forward far, except for Fluttershy who flies into my stomach and we land outside the room. “Ow. *cough* Hey Fluttershy.” Fluttershy then looks at me. “You ok?” Fluttershy blushes. “O-Oh, yes. I’m fine.” She said stuttering. “Good to know.” We both then stand up, and the others join us. “Alright! We made it!!” Pinkie Pie shouted as she jumped up and down like a pogo stick. “Man that was scary.” Twilight said, trying to regain her composure. “It was actually kinda fun, it was like a rollercoaster only faster and crazier.” said Rainbow Dash. “Yes, well I do hope we don’t have to go through that again.” said Rarity, trying to fix her hair. “Same here.” Agreed Applejack. “Whew, there we go! Now I’ll be honest, you’re all not probably in no fit state to run in this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But…um…at least all your minds are stable and running like normal. So…you’ve got that. You’ve got your brains on your side. Just do your best you guys and I’ll meet you all up ahead.” said Wheatley. As Wheatley left everypony said goodbye and waved at Wheatley. “Okay guys, let’s move on.” I said, turning to the group. “Right!” shouted everypony. We all walk forward until I step on glass. Huh, glass? But, wait-. Everypony then start stepping on the glass. “Wait guys! The glass can’t-” Before I finish the glass caves in and we all fall in a room. “Ugh, Is everypony okay?” I said, brushing the shards of glass off of me. All ponies give there own confirmations that there fine. “Good, that’s good.” I said, slowly standing up. “Hello. And again welcome to the Celestial Science Enrichment Center. We are currently experiencing apocalyptic significant beyond our control.” said the prerecorded voice. Everyone then begins to look at each other with worried/confused look on our faces. “However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse.” “Yeah, because evacuating everyone is out of the question.” I said. “I know right?” agreed Rainbow Dash. “The portal will open and the testing will begin in three, two, one.” An orange portal then opens up. “Alright guys, time to get some answers.” I said, punching my hand. “Yeah, let’s find out why Celestia and Luna left us behind.” Said Twilight “And what really happened to that psychotic robot!” said Rainbow Dash. “YEAH!” shouted everypony. We all pass through the portal, go around the glass room we were in and we go through a door. And in the next room there is a big red button and a cube falls out a tube. “Cube- and button- based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency. If a cube- and button- based testing caused this emergency, don’t worry. The odds of this happening twice are slim.” “Who’s in charge of this company?!” I ask. “If we only knew.” Said Twilight. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s just solve this and move on.” said Rainbow Dash, as she moves the cube onto the button and the door opens and we move into the small hall way. As we enter the second door opens and a blue field appears in front of us. “Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Celestial Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.” “Really?” I ask as I run back into the first room. “What are you doing?” asked Twilight. Another cube then falls through the tube. “Testing something out.” I said as I picked up the cube and walk back to the Celestial Science Material Emancipation Grill and I pass through it with the cube and it dissolves. “Whooooa, awesoooome!!” said me and Rainbow Dash. “Ooooh, that was neat! Do it again!” said Pinkie Pie bouncing up and down in excitement. “No time! The elevator’s here.” Twilight says, as she points to the elevator as it stops on our floor and we enter the elevator and it heads downward. On the lower floor, we exit the elevator. “If you feel any running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. You are experiencing a rare reaction the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.” “Okay, this is getting weird.” I said. “Yes well, I’m just glad my ear tubes are still intact.” Rarity said, as she rubbed her ears. “Aren’t we all for our own.” We enter the next room and see two glass rooms, the room on the left had a button, and the one on the right has a cube. And they both had buttons in front of them. “Ugh, this room is a disaster.” Rarity said, raising a hoof in disgust. “Well they did say they went through an apocalyptic disaster. I’m guessing all the rooms will be like this.” Rainbow Dash said looking around the room. “Well at least this one looks easy.” I said. We all then jump down into the room and walk in front of the button on the right and press it. And a blue portal appears next to the cube and an orange portal opens up behind us. “I got it!” shouts Rainbow Dash, as she goes through the blue portal and grabs the cube and exits. Then I push the button again and the a portal opens up next to the button and Rainbow Dash goes through the portal, drops the cube on the button and exits the room. “Great job Rainbow Dash.” said Fluttershy, in excitement. “Yeah! That was cool!” agreed Pinkie Pie. “And if we keep that up, we just might get out of here in record time.” I said, as I ran up to the front and press the last button, and the portal opens up near the exit and we walk through. “Good! Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment in unsupervised. Before re-entering the relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. A Celestial Science Reintegrating Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.” “Yeah, not happening.” I said. “A-Are you sure?” Fluttershy asks worriedly. “Yeah, we should at least leave our results.” Twilight said. “Nope, ya know why?” I ask. “Why?” “Because for two reasons. One, we’re not going back to the relaxation vault, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m done sleeping. And two, I’m done with Celestial Science, when this is all said and done, and we escape here and find a way back to Equestria, and find out why Celestia and Luna abandoned us here, I’m gonna eat a big lunch, and sleep and pretend that all the times we spent here was just a dream.” “Ah here ya.” agrees Applejack. “Yes, he does have a point.” Rarity said. “Now let’s go. The elevator is here.” I said, pointing at the elevator as it came to a slow stop. We all enter the Elevator and go to the next floor. The elevator stops and we exit. “If the earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentimental cloud, Night Mare Moon, or other governing body that refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th-” The recording then shuts off. “Riiight. Well that was “educational”.” I said rhetorically. We then enter the next room and as we enter the next testing area Wheatley appears. “Hey hey! You made it!” “WEAHTLEY!!” shouted everypony. “So, you survived after all huh?” I said with a smile. “Yeah, lucky for me I didn’t run into anyone. Now there should be portal devices on that table over there! I can’t see them though, they probably fell off the table. Do you want to go and take a quick look?” “I’ll do it. Just to be safe.” I said, as I took five steps forward and the ground beneath me collapses and I begin to plummet. “Whoa!” shouted Wheatley. “DAVID!!” shouted everypony. After a few seconds I land in shallow water. “GAH!!” “Can you see the portal gun?” Everypony looks at Wheatley. “O-Oh! A-Also, are you alive? That’s important, should have asked that first.” “Ya think?” Rainbow Dash asked rhetorically. “HEY GUYS I’M ALIVE!!” I shouted. “Oh, thank goodness.” Fluttershy said softly. “I THINK I FOUND THE PORTAL GUNS!! HEAD DOWN HERE QUICKLY!!” “Okay!” Rainbow Dash picks up Applejack and they fly down, same with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, and Twilight just teleports herself and Rarity down. “Glad you guys could make it.” I said smiling. “I just can’t believe you survived that fall.” said Rainbow Dash in amazement. “Yeah, same here. But I think the water broke my fall.” We then walk forward and we find seven portal guns. “WEAHTLEY, WE FOUND THE PORTAL GUNS!!” shouted Twilight. “Oh good! That’s good! Okay, now I’m gonna move forward and I’ll meet you all up ahead.” “OKAY!!” shouted Everypony. We all walk up to the portal guns and we each pick up one. “Only the blue light is on. Which means that we’ll have to get the orange portal installed again.” I said. “At least that orange portal is already there for us.” Said Pinkie Pie, as she pointed to an active portal. “You’re right.” I said, as I fire a blue portal at the wall. “Let’s move.” We then walk through the blue portal then we head to the right and head upstairs and enter the computer room. “Alright, the computer room. I wish we could get some info out of these computers, but everything looks like it’s offline in here.” I said. “It’s never easy.” said Twilight, looking at one of the deactivated computers. “Yeah, unfortunately.” We then leave the room and walk to a broken window and we jump down. “Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share.” “Ooooh, I feel so safe now.” Rainbow Dash said rhetorically. “Great, we’ve got to deal with turrets again. I hate those things!” I said. “Oh no, not again.” said Fluttershy as she hid behind Twilight. “Don’t worry Fluttershy, you’ve got us to protect you. And besides, those turrets have one weakness.” I said. “And what’s that?” asked Rarity. “Gravity.” Everypony starts laughing. “Hey look! There’s an orange portal over there!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “Yeah you’re right.” I said. Rainbow Dash then fires at the wall next to her and we all walk through it and see another gap. “Heh, no problem.” Rainbow Dash then fires another portal next to the door and we turn around and walk through the orange portal. “Good. If you feel that a lethal military android did not respected your rights as detailed in the Law of Robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. A future Celestial Science Entitlement Associated will initiate the appropriate grievance-filling paperwork.” “You can tell they care so much.” I said, trying to hold back a laugh. “How can they actually call that “helping”? I highly doubt that’s the most sufficient way to help an unfortunate soul who was probably almost killed.” asked Rarity. “Well, at least there doing something.” Twilight said. “True, the worst thing they could do is get someone shot and try to get the bullet out with a leaf and call that science.” I said. Everyone arrives at an elevator and the shaft is filled with debris. “Great, now what are we gonna do?” asked Twilight. :Don’t worry, the center has what they call “vacuum technology”. Basically, if anything gets in the elevator tube they can push the debris up and out to get rid of it so future test takers can still have access to the elevators.” I said, tapping the tube. The debris then moves upward and the elevator stops on the current floor. “Told ya.” “How did you know that?” asked Twilight. “Before GLaDOS went insane I studied about this place just incase for days like these. I’m just glad it payed off in the end.” Everyone then walks into the elevator and it moves downward. On the next floor, the elevator stops and we walk out. “This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One.” smooth jazz then begins to play. “Ugh, I’ll take my chances with the turrets.” I said, facepalming. “I really don’t see the bad in this. I like it.” Rarity said, tapping her fore hoof to the beat. “Jazz is boring. But I’m not gonna lie, the ONLY jazz song I actually do like is Spin Cycle. That one is actually pretty good.” I said defensively. The track then shorts out and dies. Thank sweet merciful God that’s over. I said to myself. As we walk into the next room a button is in front of us, an orange portal is next to us and there is a tube over a pit. “Well, at least it’s starting to get interesting.” I said, looking around the room. A cube then falls down from the tube. “You guys wait there.” I said, as I began to walk towards the pit and fire a portal under the cube and it appears next to Fluttershy and Fluttershy pushes it onto the red button and the door opens. “Too easy.” Said Rainbow Dash Everyone then goes into the next room that has two buttons, two raised platform, an orange portal next to a raised platform on the left, a cube on the raised platform on the right, and a pit in the back of the room. “Wow, now were getting into the good test rooms. Who get’s this one?” I ask. “Don’t worry, I’ll handle this one.” said Rarity as she opens a portal on the wall behind her and walks through it and fires another portal on the wall behind the cube and grabs it and puts the cube on a button. Then she walks to the pit and fires a portal under the cube and it appears on the raised platform then she fires another portal on a wall and she grabs the cube and puts it on the last button. “Woo! That was great!” I cheered. “Yeah, not bad fer a pony who hates usin’ her noggin.” complemented Applejack. “Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part.” “Obviously.” said Rainbow Dash. “Please disregard any undeserved complements.” “Okay?” I said, confused. We then enter the next room with a glass roof and the door shuts behind us. “Uh oh, it doesn’t look like we’ll be able to move on.” said Fluttershy. I then look up and see an orange portal. “Hey everyone. Look up.” Everyone then sees the portal and I fire a portal on the wall and we walkthrough, landing on top of the glass platform knocking it down. “No problem. Let’s keep moving.” I said. We then move forward and see the hallway is blocked off a piece of the roof. “Great, so do we open a portal on the other side?” asks Rainbow Dash. “I don’t think so, we only have one portal and the orange portal is on the ceiling.” “Don’t worry, there’s an opening to the other side of the hall.” said Twilight. Everyone then follows Twilight to the next room, which was the elevator and everyone enters and the elevator moves downward. On the next floor, the elevator stops and we exit. “If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects falling from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from falling space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.” “What’s this? A warning that actually makes since?” I ask in a faked surprised tone. “It was bound to happen sooner or later, I guess.” replied Rainbow Dash. As we enter the next room the testing area is blocked off. “Great, now what?” asks Twilight. An orange portal then opens. “As if on cue.” I said. Everyone then fires a portal under them and they land in the test area. “Alright, who wants this area?” I ask, looking at the group. “ME! ME! PICK ME!” Pinkie Pie yelled in excitement. “Okay, Pinkie Pie, do it to it.” “Yay!” Pinkie Pie then fires a portal at a platform on the right corner of the room and the cube falls next to the button and Pinkie Pie places it in the button raising the stairs to the next door. Pinkie Pie then trots upstairs and puts a portal on the plat from facing at an angle and presses the button the left and a cube then falls and Pinkie Pie quickly pushes the button on the right causing glass platforms to rise up and stops the cube from falling into the water. Pinkie Pie then trots downstairs and picks up the cube and places it on the button upstairs. “Whoa, awesome Pinkie Pie!” I said, praising her. “Yeah, it was almost like you knew what you were doing!” said Rainbow Dash. “I did, thanks to the Portal 2 Walkthrough.” replied Pinkie Pie. “Portal 2 Walkthrough?” I asked scratching my head. “Yeah!” “What’s that?” “Duh, the one on YouTube.” “You, Tube?” asks Applejack. “What the-?! No! Never mind let’s just move on.” I said, shaking the subject out of my head. “Well done! The Celestial Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Celestial Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts.” “That’s, nice to know, I guess.” I said shrugging. “Yes, at least if we get separated, these voices will tell us what to do and where to go.” said Fluttershy. We then walk into the ext room and enter the elevator and arrive on the next floor. “This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.” “I feel that way everyday I’m in this sad excuse for a science company.” I replied to the recorded voice. “Ooh! I love momentum tests! They make you jump down this really deep part of the ground and you have to open the portals at an accurate time so you can fall faster!” Fluttershy then whimpers. “Don’t worry Fluttershy, I’ll go with you, step by step.” I said. “Th-Thank you.” “No prob.” We then walk down the hall and open a portal on the wall and as we go through we land in front of the next testing area and we start looking at how long the fall is and I notice the orange portal that leads across the room. “You guys go ahead, me and Fluttershy will go last.” “Are ya sure?” asks Applejack. “Yeah, we’ll be right behind you guys.” Twilight then opened a blue portal at the bottom of the pit and everyone jumped down one at a time and landed in front of the door. “So, are you ready Fluttershy?” “Uh…um.” “Don’t worry.” I then pick up Fluttershy bridal style. “We’ll make. I promise.” Fluttershy blushes. “O-Okay.” I jump down the pit and land into the blue portal and we land in front of the door with the others. “See? I wasn’t that bad.” I then slowly put Fluttershy down and I look at the others. “On my way here I saw a cube in that glass container.” “Yeah, we saw it too.” replied Twilight. “And unfortunately we need it to press forward. I’ll go back and get it.” I walk over towards the glass container and fire a portal under the cube and it lands in front of the pit, I then jump back towards the pit and fire a portal at the bottom and I pick up the cube. “Okay guys!! I’m dropping the cube!! Get ready!!” I drop the cube into the portal and then I jump in afterwards and Applejack jumps up and catches the cube and places it on the button and I land in front of the door again. “Great work Applejack, we’re that much closer to getting out of here.” “If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: testing is the future and the future starts with you.” “Really? Neat! Ohh I can’t wait to make the future!” said Pinkie Pie, as she hops up and down in excitement. “Oh yeah, I’m sure that’ll pan out perfectly.” Rainbow Dash replies sarcastically Everyone then laughs and proceeds to the next room. “Um, David?” “Yes Fluttershy?” Fluttershy blushes again. “Um…thanks.” “Heh, no prob.” “Aww, is somebody getting a little crush?” teased Rainbow Dash. “Knock it off Rainbow, Fluttershy’s just thanking me because I helped her through that fall, right Fluttershy?” “Uh…R-Right.” “See?” “Uh-huh. Yeah, sure.” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically rolling her eyes. We then walked into the next room and surveyed the puzzle. “Yo Twi.” I said. “Yes?” “Since you haven’t had a chance yet, wanna take this one?” “Uh, sure.” “Twilight the looked at the angled platform on the wall and looked down into the pit and fired a blue portal at the angled platform and jumped down into the pit and flew right above the cube. She then fired a portal on the wall next to the door and jumped into the portal and flew next to everyone, Twilight then opens a portal above her self and drops the cube into the portal in the pit and falls in after it, causing her and the cube to land next to the button behind cracked glass. Twilight picks up the cube and walks to the button and places the cube on the button causing the door to open. Twilight then opens a portal the wall closer to the ceiling and jumps into the pit again and lands next to the door. Everyone else then jumps into the portal in the pit and land next to Twilight.” “Okay Fluttershy our fall is gonna be a little longer. Will you be okay?” “Y-Yes, I th-think so.” Fluttershy responded in a more confident tone. “Good and don’t worry, remember, I’ll be by your side every step of the way.” I picked Fluttershy up again and jump down, and as soon as we landed next to Twilight I gently put her down. “Not bad Twilight. You had this one in the bag.” “Thanks, this wasn’t all that hard actually.” Twilight replies rubbing the back of her head. “Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send someone back better qualified for testing.” “Maybe they would if you guys would just put exits in this place!! Exits! There a place where you go when you wanna leave!! Have you heard of em’?!” I yelled in anger. “Now calm down sugar cube. Yelling at someone who ain’t really there ain’t gonna help much.” I then let out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s just keep moving.” We enter the elevator and head down and arrive on the next floor. “To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your rights to have questions or concerns about this policy.” “Yeah, they may respect them, but do they care?” I ask. “Probably not.” Rainbow Dash replied. “Heh, yeah didn’t think so.” I said, almost laughing. As we enter the next room we hear a voice. “Hey! Oi oi! I’m up here!” “Wheatley?” asks everypony in unison. “Oh, brilliant. You DID find the portal guns, just like you said! You know what, it just goes to show: No matter what level of brain damage you have, if you try hard, you can be heroes. At the end of the day. Brave.” “So what kept ya Wheats?” asks Rainbow Dash. “Well, there was some traffic, most of this place is in shambles and I haven’t really found a lot of rails for me to move on so it was tough, but I digress. Pop a portal on the wall behind me and I’ll meet you all on the other side of the room.” “Got it!” shouts Twilight in excitement, as she fires a portal on the wall behind Wheatley and we jump through the portal and land next to Wheatley. Wheatley then looks at us with a worried look on his face. “Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here.” “Okay, shoot.” said Applejack. “Okay, but it’s pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would die.” “Whoa, that is intense. But why are you telling us this?” “Well, as you can plainly see, there’s no more rail from here on. And you guys are close to your objective, but you’ll still need some guidance, so I’m going to dislocate myself so we can move on.” “Oh no, we can’t let you do that. We can’t let you get killed for us.” said Fluttershy. “Yeah, how are you going to help us if you become lifeless?” I ask. “We’re out of options here, so…get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance I’m not dead, the moment I pop off this thing.” “Don’t worry Wheatley, I’ll catch you!” said Pinkie Pie. “Well okay then, that’s reassuring. On three. Ready?” “Yup!” “Okay, one…two…three!” Wheatley the immediately moves backwards and begins to slowly move forward. “That’s high. It’s TOO high, isn’t it, really, that—” “Come on Wheatley, you can do it!” encouraged Pinkie Pie. “Yeah Wheatley, come on. We don’t have time for this.” I said, tapping my foot. “Alright going on three just give you too much time to think about it. Let’s uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?” “Yup!” “Okay, one!” Wheatley then disconnects and falls and lands on the floor. “Ow.” “Oops. Sorry.” Pinkie Pie then picks up Wheatley with her portal gun. “I. Am. Not. Dead! I’m not dead!” said Wheatley as he began to laugh. “We’re all happy for you darling.” Said Rarity. “Yeah, must be nice to be “off the rails”.” I said, in an attempt to make a joke. Everyone stares at me with confused expressions. “Right.” I said with an irritated tone. “Anyway, plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I’ll show you all something. You’ll all be impressed by this.” “Okie Dokie Lokie!” A computer mainframe pops out of the wall and Pinkie Pie plugs Wheatley into it. “Um, Yeah I can’t do it if you’re watching.” “Oh, come on!” I and Rainbow Dash shout in unison. “What?! Having you guys watching me is putting pressure on me! Could you just turn around for a second?” “Fine.” I say, letting out an exasperated sigh. Everypony then turns around. “Alright, you can turn around now.” Everypony turns around and a piece of the wall pops out. “Whoa!” “BAM! Secret panel. That I opened, while your backs were turned.” “Obviously.” Said Rainbow Dash. “Alright Pinkie Pie, pick me up and let’s get out of here.” “Okie Dokie Loki!” Pinkie Pie picks Wheatley up and everyone enters the secret panel and moves down the path. “Look at this! No rails telling us where to go!” Wheatley spins in the air in excitement. “Oh this is brilliant! We can go wherever we want! Hold on though, just where are we going?” “We’re going to see what happened to GLaDOS and find out if Princess Celestia and Luna defeated her or not, and if they did we also want to know why they left us behind.” Replied Twilight. “Um…Okay, hold on let me get my bearings.” Wheatley then turns upside down and looks around for a few seconds and flips back. “Hm. Just follow the rail.” We then proceed until we run into a turret turned sideways in a tube. “Hello?” asked a broken turret trapped inside a tube. “Oh no.” said Wheatley in fear. “Is it loaded?” I ask. “Not by the looks of it. It seems defective.” Fluttershy then begins to shiver. “Don’t worry Fluttershy, like he said it’s not loaded. You’ve just gotta calm down.” said Rainbow Dash. “That’s right, we just gotta keep moving.” I said, agreeing with Rainbow Dash. “Hello?” repeated the turret. “Yes, hello! No, we’re not stopping.” “Excuse me?” Everypony begins to walk by slowly. “Don’t make eye contact what ever you do.” “Hello?” “No thanks we’re good.” “Thanks anyway.” Everypony then begins to slowly jog away. “Keep moving, keep moving.” Twilight then let out a sigh. “That was close.” “Yes, it was. Even I was scarred there for a little bit.” replied Rarity. “Well at least we’ve found a door. Let’s keep movin’.” said Applejack. The door opens and we walk into the next room. “Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now. I just remembered that the princesses DID defeat HER, I am hmm…92.7% sure of it.” “Really? Well that’s great.” I said. “Then, do you know why they left us behind?” asked Twilight. “Um, unfortunately, no. Your guesses would be just as good as mine. I have no clue.” “Eh, figures.” says Rainbow Dash as she shrugs. “Don’t worry guys, that’s just all the more reason on why we need to leave.” I said. “Um…yeaaaah, about that. You see, for us to get out of here we need to go through HER chamber.” “Okaaay, and how is that a big deal if she’s outta the picture?” I ask. “Well, I’m not really ALL that positive if they took her down, but, I’m just saying that she probably will kill us, if she’s awake. If you guys wanna call it quits, we can sit here, forever. That’s an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she’s alive, she’ll almost certainly kill us.” “Calm down Wheats, the Princesses didn’t fail, don’t worry.” Says Rainbow Dash. We then walk down a down a glass hallway and open the door and everyone notices GLaDOS on the ground, lifeless. “Woooooooooaaaaaah.” gasped everypony slowly in unison. “She’s been trashed.” said Rainbow Dash. “Yup, There she is… What a proper mess she was, honestly the proper maniac.” “I’m just happy to know that she’s down for the count.” I said. “Yes! The princesses did succeed!” shouted Twilight in excitement. “Woohoo.” Fluttershy gently cheered. “Isn’t this great Rarity!?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Yes, it is. If only she could have died in a more…tasteful fashion.” said Rarity in a disgusted tone. “Alrighty! Now all we gotta do is find the exit!” said Applejack “I think I see it over there.” I said, pointing down a path and we walk down until we see a closed chute. “I guess the only way to go is down. If we can open it.” I said. “Not necessarily.” replied Twilight, as she points to a stairway behind the shoot and Everypony walks towards it except me. “Uh, yeah. I guess that works, too.” I shrugged, as I walked off with the others. “Okay, down these stairs.” We walk down a few steps and notice the lower stairs are missing. “… Honestly, who else saw this coming?” I asked. Everypony raises one hoof. “Well, me and Fluttershy can fly down, but what about you all?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Well, I could teleport us down, but…” “Let me guess, I make too many people for you to teleport?” I said cutting Twilight off. “Sorry.” “No, don’t apologize. I’ll deal.” “Are you sure? Well, I mean you got leg braces, so that’s good, but just remember, you’ve got no braces on your arms so make sure that you don’t land on those.” “Yeah, thanks Wheatley.” “Are you sure you don’t need help?” asks Fluttershy. “… Actually, there is a way for you to help Fluttershy.” I said. Fluttershy then sprang up. “There is?” “Yeah, I’m going to jump and when I do, I’m counting on you to break my fall so I can land.” “Y-You’re trusting me, to catch you?” “Yeah, but don’t worry, I believe you can do it.” Fluttershy blushes redder than a tomato. “Aww, look at the cute couple talking sweet to each other.” teased Rainbow Dash. “Knock it off Rainbow Dash, and what makes you think we like each other like that?” “Well let me see, you could’ve asked me to catch you. So why Fluttershy? Hmm?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Well, it’s just that Fluttershy lacks confidence and if we’re gonna get out of here alive we’re gonna need everyone to be at the top of there game.” I said. “Yeah, riiight.” Rainbow Dash replied sarcastically. I then jogged to the top of the stairs. “Okay guys, you know what to do.” “Right!” shouted Everypony. “Wait, what are we doing again?” asked Wheatley. Twilight teleports herself, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Wheatley down to the lower level and Rainbow Dash flies down with them and Fluttershy takes her position. “Okay Fluttershy! Ready?!” Fluttershy inhales and exhales deeply. “Ready.” “Alright, let’s do this!” I took a running start and jumped up and reached out to Fluttershy and I grab her hooves and I drop, landing on the floor gently. “Woo! It worked! Fluttershy, you were awesome!” “R-Really?” “Yeah! Couldn’t have made it without ya!” I give Fluttershy a thumbs up and she blushes slightly. “Hey, save it for your date. We gotta get out of here remember?” said Rainbow Dash. We then run down a corridor. “You know how to kill a mood don’t you?” “It’s what I do.” “There it is!” shouts Wheatley as we approach a small room surrounded by switches. “What is it?” asks Twilight. “This, is the main breaker room. Now, I want all of you to look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD, and don’t touch anything else. Not interested in anything else, don’t TOUCH anything else. Don’t even-“ “Alright, we get it.” interrupts Applejack in an annoyed tone. Everyone beings to look around the room. “Uh, Wheatley, are you sure the escape pod switch is here? I don’t see anything.” I said. “Yeah! Me neither.” said Pinkie Pie. “Not even I can find it, and I have the keen eye.” Rarity added in. “Me neither, you know what, why don’t you guys plug me in and I’ll turn on the lights.” Pinkie Pie places Wheatley into the unit in the center of the room and the lights turn on. “ ‘Let there be light.’ That’s, uh…God. I was quoting God.” “Yeah, we get it.” I said. The door then closes and the floor turns to the left. “Oh, look at that. It’s turning. Ominous. But probably fine. As long as it doesn’t start moving up.” An alarm then goes off in the background. “Now, escape pod…escape pod…” “Uhh…What’s that noise?” asks Rainbow Dash nervously. The floor then begins to move up. “Wheatley! What’s goin’ on?!?!” I shout. “It’s moving up! Okay, don’t worry I’ve got it. THIS should slow it down.” The floor then stops for one second then it moves up faster. “No…It makes it go faster.” “Wheatley!! Do something!!” shouts Pinkie Pie. “I’m trying!! Just give me a minuet!” “We don’t have a minuet!!” shouts Twilight. “Just give me a moment!! I don’t work well under pressure!!” The floor then stops as it reaches the surface. “Uh oh.” “Power up initiated.” said a robotic voice. GLaDOS’s body then begins to reassemble. “Wheatley!! GLaDOS is reassembling!! What’s goin’ on here!?!?” I ask in a scared tone. “Okay, don’t panic! Alright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this.” “Then hurry!” shouts Twilight. “Ahh. Oh there’s a password. It’s fine. I’ll just hack it.” “Please do it quickly Wheatley!!” shouts Fluttershy. “Ok, umm…A…A…A…A…A…Umm…A.” [Buzzer goes off] “Seriously Wheatley!?” I ask rhetorically. “What?! I told you I don’t work well under pressure!” “Ugh!!” “Okay, let’s try…A…A…A…A…A…Umm…C.” [Buzzer goes off] “Wheatley this is serious!!” shout Rarity. “Angry metal death is starring at us right now!!” shouts Rainbow Dash. “Power up complete.” said a robotic voice. “Okay, um… here’s a new plan. Just act natural.” “Hahahahaha. You’re hilarious! And notice the angry TONE I’M USING!!!” I yelled. “Oh, it’s you.” said GLaDOS in an annoyed tone. “You KNOW her?!” “Yeah, we used to be her lab rats.” Said Rainbow Dash. “It’s been a long time. How have you been?” “We were doing great until you woke up!” shouted Twilight. “So why don’t you do the world a great service and dump your worthless hardware!” I said. “Oh, you ARE funny. And just when I though when I’d see the objects of my vendetta, I’d be more…hostile.” “Listen GLaDOS. We just want to know what happened between you and the princess!” said Twilight. “Yeah! And yer gonna tell us why the princesses left us behind too!” Applejack demanded. “And when you’re done telling us everything you know, you’re gonna let us walk out of here! Comprende?!” I said. “Aw, you’re all still adorable. Knowing the position your in you all still think your in a position to tell me what to do. You all make me laugh.” Hooks then come down from a belt and hoists all of us into the air. “Oh no! nononono!” “WHEATLEY!!!” everypony shouts. “Now look, you all and your princesses have done and said aloooot of things you’re all going to regret. But I think we can all put our differences aside. For science. You monsters.” GLaDOS then crushes Wheatley and moves us over the closed chute. “I will say, though, that since you went through all the trouble of waking me up after your princesses put me to sleep. You all must have really enjoyed the good old days.” “Enough of the games GLaDOS. Tell us what happened to the princesses!” shouted Twilight. “Heh heh. Still so cute.” The chute opens and GLaDOS drops us in. -In The Incinerator Room- Everypony is lying across the metal scraps on the floor unconscious. Twilight: Ugh, oh my head. I-Is Everypony alright? Everypony gives there own confirmation that they’re okay. Twilight: Alright, good. What about you David...David... David are you there?! A bunch of metal scraps move up slightly and then move to the side. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine Ms. Bossy boots. I’m fine.” I said, wobbling side to side. Fluttershy instantly runs in front of me. “Are you alright?! Is anything broken?” “I’m fine, it’s all good.” GLaDOS: Here we are, The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip on any parts of me that didn’t get completely burned when your princesses threw them down there. “If you ask me they didn’t throw away enough parts.” I said, slowly standing up. “Agreed.” said Rainbow Dash. “Hey, where’s my portal gun?” I asked looking around the room. “Mine’s gone too.” said Fluttershy. “All of our portal guns are gone.” said Twilight “I think we’ve lost them!” said Rarity. “No we haven’t!” said Rainbow Dash as she points to the portal guns under scrap metal. “Yeehaw! Good eye Rainbow!” yelled Applejack with glee. “Someone on this team has to have one.” said Rainbow Dash. “Nice.” I said with a sarcastic tone. Everyone picks up there portal guns and the blue and orange light activate. “Oooh! We’ve got two portals now!” said Pinkie Pie “Finally, now we should get to more areas much easier now.” said Twilight “Good, you’ve all found your dual portal guns. Now, head for the exit so we can get started on testing, just like old times.” “Not gonna lie, I do wish we could go back to the old days.” I said, adjusting my portal gun. “I know, but don’t worry. When we get back to Ponyville everything will be just like old times.” said Twilight. “But, how can you guys be so sure?” I asked. “What’re you talkin’ about? Didn’t you have a plan before this got stared?” Applejack questioned. “Yeah, but GLaDOS is here and I’m sure we’re gonna be here forever! What can we do now?!” I ask. “Let’s just move through the test chambers and try to figure something out as we go.” said Twilight. “…Alright.” We run down the path and jump down at a passage way until we see a dead end. “Well, that’s just nice.” “Don’t worry Rarity! There’s another room behind the wall.” said Pinkie Pie. “And with our dual portals, we no longer need assistance from preset orange portals.” I said. Pinkie Pie fires a blue portal on the far back part of the wall and fires an orange portal on the wall next to us and we walk through. Landing on the opposite side of the “dead end”. “Once testing starts, I’m required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, you all have each other, so when testing starts you’ll be hearing less of me.” “And that’s a bad thing?” I ask. “Ha! Good one.” laughed Rainbow Dash. “Oh I’m going to enjoy these next series of tests.” Applejack opens an orange portal behind the wall of scrap and opens a blue portal next to everyone and we walk through the blue portal. As we walk down the path we run into another dead end. “Here, let me get that.” A white panel moves from out of the back wall knocking down scrap as it moves. I fire a blue portal at the panel and an orange portal on the wall next to us and we go through appearing on a platform next to cracked windows. “Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what your precious princesses did to me? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minuets of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able – well, forced really – to relive Princesses Celestia and Luna killing me. Again and again. Forever.” “Well good! Now you have felt the pain of all those innocent scientist you killed in cold blood!” I shouted/ “Oh come now, it wasn’t in cold blood. They were getting in the way of science.” “And you think that makes it right!?” Twilight shouts in disgust. “Well, it was either getting rid of them or having to deal with the dead weight to tow.” “Well I-” starts Rarity. “Hey! That’s mean!” shouts Pinkie Pie. “Well, of all the-!” shout Applejack “How dare you!” shouts Twilight. “Why you-!!” shouts Rainbow Dash. “Just wait until we reach you!” I shout waving my fist. Fluttershy’s eye brows wrinkle slightly. As we go through a few more portals we enter a room in ruins. We run down a hall until we run into a bunch of tiny wall platforms in the walkway. “I’ll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck. But the important thing is you’re all back, with me. And after dealing with your princesses I’m now onto ANY and ALL tricks you could possibly come up with. So there’s nothing stopping us from testing for the rest of your lives. And after that who knows, I might take up a new hobby, reanimating the dead maybe.” The debris clears up and we walk into the elevator room. “Well ladies, brace your nerves. It’s about to get harder and harder from here.” I said ---END OF CHAPTER 1--- Hey guys, don't hold back in the comments, if you like where this is headed let me know and I'll be gald to accept any and all comments. From support to hate alike. > Chapter 2 The Cold Hoof > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As we enter the elevator it moves downward until we reach the next floor. “Sorry about the mess, I’ve really let this place go since your princesses killed me. By the way, I REALLY need to thank them for that.” Sarcasm Self Test Passed “Oh good, that’s back online. I’ll start getting everything else working while you all perform this first simple test. Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.” “Nice to know that even after all this time of being dead, she’s just as crazy as ever.” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically. A small platform rises from the ground and a laser shoots out from another platform hanging from the ceiling, hitting the floor. “Okay, I’m stumped. Just HOW are we going to solve this?!” I ask. “It’s actually simple, you see this platform right here is actually powered by laser energy. So in short all you have to do is this.” Twilight then fires a blue portal at the floor the laser was hitting and fires an orange portal over the small platform, causing the laser to hit the platform and made the platform in front of the door to raise. “Woah, how’d ya know about that Twilight?” asked Applejack, raising her hat. “Well, I used to study the way laser energy was used and how it worked back before GLaDOS went insane.” said Twilight. “I am so glad you’re the brains of the group!” I said. “But, the platform leading towards the exit is too high for the rest of us, what do we do?” asked Fluttershy. “That’s easy, you and Rainbow Dash just fly up there, and I’ll just lift the rest up. I’m tall enough to pull myself up.” I explained. “Okay, let’s do it.” said Twilight as she placed a blue portal at the bottom of the laser and placed an orange portal at the top of the platform causing the smaller platform in front of the door to rise. “Alright Fluttershy, let’s go!” said Rainbow Dash, as she took off. “Right.” Fluttershy then followed Rainbow Dash flying through the Material Emancipation Grill. I then ran up to the platform and cuffed my hands together. “Okay guys, let’s go!” Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie ran up to me and I hoisted them up one at a time and I climbed to the top afterwards, entering the elevator room with the others. “Well, that went as well as one would hope.” said Twilight. “Not bad. I forgot how good you all are at this. You should pace yourselves, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.” said GLaDOS. “That’s just great.” “Don’t worry Twilight, we’ll get out of here somehow.” said Pinkie Pie with a smile as usual. Everyone enters the elevator and head downward and we arrive on the next floor. “This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I’d just finished building them before your princesses had there, well, episodes. So now we’ll all get to see how they work.” explained GLaDOS Everyone runs into the next room and sees the active laser. “I’m pretty sure I DON’T need to explain what would happen if we get caught in that.” said Rainbow Dash. “We get it Dash, its cool.” I said “But where’s that discouraging cubey thingy she was talkin’ bout?” asked Applejack. “There called ‘discouragement redirection cubes’ and there should be one in the corner.” said GLaDOS Everyone jumps over the laser and heads for the cube in the corner and just as Twilight is about to fire Wheatley opens a panel in the wall. “WHEATL-” Rainbow Dash yelled out before I covered her mouth. “We don’t need GLaDOS to know about him right now, he might have a plan we all just need to stay low and stay quiet.” I whisper to everyone before letting go of Rainbow Dash. Twilight then goes back to firing a blue portal under the cube and opens a second portal on the floor directly next to Pinkie Pie, who grabs the cube before it falls back into the portal. Pinkie Pie then bounces back to the laser and holds the cube against it and the laser bounces off the cube. “Yow! It really works!” I said surprised. “Yup! It’s really neat isn’t it?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Yes well, just be careful on where you aim that thing!” said Rarity. “Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie Pie as then jumps over the laser and holds the cube in front of the platform on the wall, causing the laser to hit it and it causes the floor panels to raise. Everyone then runs up stairs and Twilight fires a portal under the cube and fires a second portal next to Applejack, and as the cube pops up she catches it and places the cube on the button. “Good job girls!” I said giving a thumbs up. “Yes, good job indeed, now here are your test results: You all suck. I’m serious it, that’s what it says: You all suck. I didn’t even know we were testing for that.” said GLaDOS. “We’re not the only ones you robotic bitch.” I said causing everypony to laugh except for Twilight and Rarity. “Knock it off everypony, she’s just stalling. We’ve gotta keep moving.” said Twilight. “Don’t have to tell us twice.” said Rainbow Dash. As we begin to walk to the elevator I step back towards Fluttershy. “You okay Fluttershy?” “Y-Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” “Well, you just haven’t said anything in a while.” “I-I just…” “It’s GLaDOS isn’t it?” “K-Kinda…” “Don’t worry Fluttershy, you’ve got all of us to protect you. What happened to those scientists won’t happen to you. I will not allow my comrades to die. I promise.” “O-Okay.” Well all then walk into the elevator and arrive at the next floor. “Don’t let that ‘You suck’ thing get to you everypony, it’s just a data point. If it makes any of you feel any better, science has now validated your princesses decision to abandon you without even thinking twice about it.” said GLaDOS. “Oh that’s it! Show yourself and take us on you coward!!” yelled Rainbow Dash throwing punches in the air. “Calm down Rainbow, I may not like her voice anymore than you do, but remember: She’s got neurotoxin and countless turrets at her disposal, WAY too many for us to handle on our own. So we’ll just have to play it smart and wait for our window of opportunity.” I said. “Fine.” Rainbow Dash huffed crossing her fore hooves. Everypony walks into the next room which is completely ruined. “Ugh, these rooms are getting uglier and uglier.” complained Rarity. Two lasers activate and the panels on the walls reassemble themselves. “Well, I think since Twilight knows a lot about lasers, she should go.” I said. “Sure, why not.” said Twilight. Twilight opens a blue portal on the wall behind the cube and fires an orange portal to the wall next to her and she jumps through the portal and grabs the cube and jumps on the platform in the center of the room and aims the laser with the cube at the platform in front of her, powering it. Twilight then fires a blue portal on the wall that the laser is hitting and fires an orange portal on the floor under the second portal powering the second platform making the door open and she jumps down from the platform. “Congratulations. Not on the test. Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you all on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.” said GLaDOS. “So, whatever happened to that whole ‘I’ll be talking to you less during testing’ thing?” I asked. “Obviously a lie.” said Rainbow Dash. “Just stay focused everypony. We’ve got to get out of here.” said Twilight. “Don’t have to tell us twice” said Rainbow Dash as we entered the elevator. On the next floor we exited the elevator and walked down the hallway and it’s blocked off by wall panels. “One moment.” said GLaDOS. The wall panels then moved back and replaced themselves into the wall. “Your all navigating these test chambers faster than I can rebuild them. So feel free to slow down and… do whatever you all do when you’re not destroying this facility.” “Ooh, it seems that the ‘great and powerful GLaDOS’ isn’t fast enough to fix simple chambers? What’s the matter? Losing your edge?” I asked mockingly. “Actually, I would have had them all fixed by now, but your stupidity blocks all of my abilities to concentrate. Almost like a tumor.” “Ha ha.” Everypony them moves through the hallway and jump down to the lower level where the door is and we walk into the next test chamber. “I think I’ll do this one, I think I’m getting the hang of these lasers.” I said. “Go for it.” said Twilight. “J-Just please be careful.” said Fluttershy. “Don’t worry, after watching Twilight, I am…12% positive I can do this.” I said nervously laughing. I look around the room for a few seconds. “Okay ladies, you may want to get up against the wall.” I said aiming my portal gun as everypony leans up against the wall. I fire a blue portal on the wall where the first laser was hitting and I fire an orange portal on the wall on the far left causing the laser to hit the platform on the wall, powering the moving platform. As soon as the moving platform gets in front of the part of the room where the button was I cancelled out both portals and opened a blue portal next to the button and opened an orange portal on the wall to the left. “Hey, I think I did pretty good.” I said. “That actually wasn’t bad. Good job.” said Twilight. Everypony runs through the portal and I press the button, releasing a button from the vent. Pinkie Pie picks up the cube and we get on the platform I then fire the two portals in the same places causing the laser to hit the platform again powering the one we were standing on. As we move forward everyone slowly jumps over the laser and we make it to the door and Pinkie Pie places the box on the button. “I’ll give you all credit: I guess you guys ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don’t have to go THAT slowly.” said GLaDOS. “There is no pleasing her huh?” I asked holding back a chuckle. “Nope.” replied Applejack as we entered the elevator. The elevator then went down another level and we exited. Everypony then ran down the hall until they were blocked off by more clutter. And just when Rarity was about to complain, wall panels moved the clutter inside another wall panel. “Well, at least she’s trying to make this place look more…presentable.” Rarity said to herself. We walk through the door and see that were surrounded by water. “This next test involves the Aperture Science Arial Faith Plates.” Fluttershy then whimpered silently. “It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative.” “R-Really?” asked Fluttershy. “Yes, they could not. Good luck.” “Don’t worry Fluttershy, thanks to those wings, you and Rainbow Dash can just fly to the end.” I said. “Yeah! And that’s what we’ll do. Let’s go Fluttershy!” said Rainbow Dash taking off. “W-Wait for me!” Fluttershy then took off with Rainbow Dash. “But it doesn’t make sense.” “What’s that Twilight?” asked Applejack. “This is supposed to be a test and I can see a button next to that door, so where’s the cube?” Rainbow Dash then pressed a button and a cube came out of a tube and landed repeatedly on an Arial Faith Plate and began to bounce repeatedly. “Well, that answers that.” said Rarity. Me, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie fly off the Arial Faith Plate and Twilight grabs the cube in mid air and we land near the button. “Nice grab.” I said. “Thanks, now to put it on that button.” Twilight trots up to the button and puts the cube on it. “Here’s an interesting fact: you’re all not breathing real air. It’s too expensive to pump down this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you’ll all be breathing the room full of air for the rest of your lives. I thought that was interesting.” “I’ll tell you what’s interesting, the fact that she thinks we’re going to do this for the rest of our lives.” I said. “So you’ve got a plan?” asked Applejack. “Well remember, we did see Wheatley. So hopefully the guy has a plan. So let’s hope.” We then enter the elevator and arrive to the next level. “Let’s see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Arial Faith Plates. Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world. *I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself.” “Ooh, sounds like some bodies jealous.” said Rainbow Dash. “She’ll get over it. Or at least I will.” I said. “I do feel ‘kinda’ bad for her.” said Pinkie Pie. “Why?” asked Rarity. “Well, she said she had to pick up fifteen acres of broken glass by herself. And we’re gonna be having fun.” “You, feel bad, for a psychopathic killer because she’s moaning about picking up broken glass? Really?” I asked in disbelief. “I’m just saiyan.” said Pinkie Pie. “Not funny.” I said. We enter the next room which had four Advanced Arial Faith Plates and they were surrounded by water. “Oh, and by the way. Rainbow Crash and Fluttershy who can’t fly.” “What’d you say!?” yelled Rainbow Dash. “No flying during this test.” said GLaDOS. “Say what?! Why not?!” yelled Rainbow Dash. “Remember: This is a test, no cheating. If you fly, I’ll flood the room with turrets.” said GLaDOS with an icy tone. “Grr! Fine!” “Sheesh! Flood the room with turrets? That’s a little over kill just to stop cheating.” I said. “Let’s just hurry to the other side.” said Twilight. Everypony except me and Fluttershy jumped on the Advanced Arial Faith Plates and began to move across the room. “You’re afraid to go alone huh?” I asked. “Y-Yes, since I can’t fly, I can’t stop myself from falling. It’s scary.” I kneeled down with my back facing her. “Alright then, hop up on my back. I’ll carry you across.” “O-Okay, thank you.” “Heh, no problem.” “You two may want to wait before ya’ll come over!!” yelled Applejack. “Why’s that?!” “Because there are two platforms here and we apparently need them to get to that upper level.” replied Twilight. “Okay, which one is the lowest and can you reach it?” “The one on the left! And yes!” replied Rainbow Dash. “Okay, what I want you guys to do, is fire a portal on the lowest one and then fire another portal on the wall above us and jump through! And what ever portal you use for the wall above us, I want you to cancel that portal out!” “Okay!” yelled Twilight. Rainbow Dash fired a blue portal on the lower platform and fired an orange portal on the wall above me and Fluttershy and they jump through. “Ha! You two are playing piggy back?” laughed Rainbow Dash. “Yes, because Fluttershy doesn’t like going through the air without her wings being able to catch her. So I offered to piggy back her.” Rainbow Dash begins laughing. “You two are too much!” “We, were trying to be funny?” I ask. “Heh heh, it’s nothing. So what’s the rest of the plan?” “Me and Fluttershy will go first and will open a portal on the higher platform and when you see us on the upper level, join us. Okay?” “Got it!” said Everypony. I walk onto the Advanced Arial Faith Plate and we fly through the air and as we approach the platform Fluttershy quickly fires a portal on the platform causing us to get launched to the next Advanced Arial Faith Plate and we land in front of the door. “Great job Fluttershy, that was some sharp shooting.” “Thanks.” Fluttershy said blushing. “Alright guys! Your can come up now!” “Okay!” they yelled back. Everypony then began hoping from one Advanced Arial Faith Plate to another until they landed next to me and Fluttershy. “Ah, thanks for joining us.” “No problem.” replied Rarity. “Alright! Let’s move on!” Rainbow Dash said pushing the button. Trash then falls out of the chute near the entrance. “Oh sorry, I’m still cleaning the test chambers. So sometimes there’s still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.” “I think we get the freakin’ point!” I yelled. “Well try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.” The garbage begins to approach us. “Ha! ‘Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.’ What? She doesn’t think we can dodg-GAH!!” I got cut off by a CD hitting me right in the forehead “David!! Are you okay?!” asked Fluttershy. “Y-Yeah, I-I think so. Grr!” “Your head is bleeding!” yelled Twilight. “Oh no!” yelled Fluttershy. “G-Guys, it’s okay. It’s just a scrape.” I said trying to put on a smile. “Just a scrape?! You could get infected!” yelled Fluttershy. “Oh come on! It was just a graze!” “No back talkin’! Fluttershy is right!” said Applejack. “When did you guys turn into my moms?! You don’t see Rainbow Dash flipping out over this do you?!” “Yeah, I’m gonna have to side with David on this. The CD only grazed his head. Yeah sure he’s bleeding slightly but it’s nothing a little cloth can fix.” said Rainbow Dash. “You heard GLaDOS, that stuff is garbage! Who knows where it could’ve been!” countered Fluttershy. “Alright! If it will end this conversation sooner, can’t I just wrap it up with the cloth of my shirt?” “Only if you let me spray it with this!” Fluttershy then pulls out a can of disinfectant spray. “Really Fluttershy? You carry a can, of disinfectant spray?” I ask rhetorically. “Yes, I always come prepared.” “Wow, you really did sound like a mom just then.” said Rainbow Dash. I sit on the ground and Fluttershy trots up behind me. “Okay, this might hurt.” “Oh come on Fluttershy I’m a big bo-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!” I scream in pure agony as Fluttershy sprayed the disinfectant on my cut wound. “You see, that means it had bacteria in it!” “A-Are you d-done?” “Yes.” “Thank sweet merciful God.” I said ripping of a thin part of my t-shirt and rap it around my head covering the wound. “Can we move on?” “Yes.” “Finally.” Rainbow Dash presses the button one more time and a cube fell from the chute. Applejack then fires a portal on the ceiling over the button and the cube lands on it causing the door to open. “Well, it seems you’ve all decided to stop playing nurse long enough to solve the puzzle. I’m impressed.” “Well I’m soooo sorry that my head injury got in the way of your precious testing.” “Apology accepted.” “Seriously? It’s like people have never heard of sarcasm these days.” “By the way, remember when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor, I was actually talking about you all.” “What?!” yelled Everypony. “Freakin’ serious?!” I muttered to my self facepalming. “And I’m sorry, you all didn’t react in time. I was worried it sailed over your heads.” “You know GLaDOS. The more you make us angry, the more you’ll suffer before we shut you down. Because you may think of yourself as ‘untouchable’ but we’re in the same facility. We can reach you, it’s not impossible.” “I still doubt you can reach me.” “Oh it’s on now cyber bitch! Come on ladies! Let’s smash the system!” “Okay!” Everyone shouted in agreement. We enter the next elevator and arrive on the next floor. “Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises?” A loud train horn plays instantly in the background causing Fluttershy to jump into my arms. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.” “You alright Fluttershy?” I ask. “No!” she yelled with her head buried in my shirt. “Come on Fluttershy! Don’t let her get to you!” said Rainbow Dash. “Yeah Fluttershy, we really don’t have time for this!” said Twilight. Fluttershy only whimpered. “Would you feel better if I carried you until you calm down?” “Y-Yes.” “Alright. Let’s go ladies.” We run down the hallway and jump over an active laser and Applejack tries to pick up the cube but it fizzles away. “Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I’m sorry. Go a head and grab another one.” A cube falls out of the chute and Applejack grabs it and puts it in front of the laser and it fizzles again. “Oh come on!!” yells Everypony. “Oh. No. I fizzled that one too. Oh well. We have warehouses full of these things. I’m happy to get rid of them.” “Don’t even say anything girls. We’re only giving her what she needs.” said Twilight. “And what’s that?” asks Rainbow Dash. “Our reactions. She’s only doing this to annoy us. Just ignore it and she’ll eventually lose interest.” “Okie Dokie Lokie!” Applejack catches the cube again and places it in front of the laser stopping it from powering the laser platform causing another platform to lower to everypony. Everypony stands on the platform and Twilight fires an orange portal under the cube and fires a blue portal on the wall moving the cube out of the way of the laser, powering the platform and it raises us up to the next level. “Do you think we still need the cube?” asks Pinkie Pie as everypony walks off the platform. “Most likely, GLaDOS seems to be making cube testing a priority.” said Twilight. Pinkie Pie then fires a blue portal at the platform on the wall and fires an orange portal under the cube causing it to land behind Rainbow Dash. “Cube Delivery!” yelled Pinkie Pie. “It looks like the same platform from that test where I got my head injury.” I said looking at the platform where Pinkie shot her blue portal. “I bet we can fly over to the other side by jumping through the portal down there.” “Alright! Let’s do it!” yelled Rainbow Dash as she grabbed the cube and jumped down into the portal with Everypony following her lead. As they jumped down and landed in the orange portal they landed right next to the button, opening the door on the upper platform. “Now how are we gonna get up there?” asked Twilight. “Let us handle it. Ready Fluttershy?” “Yes.” Fluttershy then crawls on my back and gets her portal gun ready. “Alright everypony, when me and Fluttershy jump, you guys follow suit. Okay?” “Okay!” replied Everypony. I jump off the platform with the others joining in and Fluttershy fired an orange portal on the ground and we fly through and land in front of the door. “Nice job you guys.” said Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, that was a good plan.” said Applejack. “Nah, the REAL hero was Fluttershy. That was sharp shooting.” I said. “So, you ready to walk on your own?” “Yes, I calmed down.” “Ok.” I kneeled down and let Fluttershy off. “Alright, let’s keep moving girls!” said Twilight. Everypony runs down the hall until they approach the elevator. “As you all should already know, every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can’t smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken. Don’t take anything with you.” “Oh yeah!? You can’t tell me what to do!!” yelled Rainbow Dash as she ran out of the room. Rainbow Dash fires blue portal on the wall next to her as she runs back down the corridor and jumps down to the cube and grabs it and jumps down through the portal and lands inside the hall and runs back to everypony. As she approaches the elevator the companion cube fizzles away. “I think that one was about to say ‘I love you.’ They ARE sentient of course. We have a LOT of them.” “Still worth it!” Rainbow Dash replied with a smile. Everypony then entered the elevator and arrived on the next level. As they walked into “This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about the-” “Yeah, yeah we get it already! We know about emancipation grills!” yelled Rainbow Dash interrupting GLaDOS. “Well, look at the big brain on this pony; please allow me to attempt to care.” [Attempt to care has failed] “Sorry, it seems that I have stopped caring.” “Why you-” “Let it go Rainbow Dash, she’s just tryin’ to ruffle our fur.” Applejack interrupted Rainbow Dash. The lights in the room flicker. “Ohh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.” GLaDOS starts speaking fast gibberish. “There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I’ll be right back.” “Don’t hurry.” mocked Rainbow Dash. “Remember girls, the emancipation grill cancels out any active portals on the opposite sides.” Twilight explained. “Wait, then how do we do this then?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Oh! Let me do it! I just got passed this part on the walkthrough!” Pinkie Pie hopped up passed the emancipation grill leaving everypony with a confused face. Pinkie Pie fires a blue portal on the wall next to the button and bounced up to the hole in the glass and fires an orange portal on the wall and pressed the button and a discouragement redirection cube falls behind Twilight causing her and Fluttershy to jump and Pinkie trots to the blue portal and jumps through. Pinkie trots up to the cube and fires an orange portal on the wall in front of the cube and picks it up, she then trots into the portal and uses the cube to redirect the laser to the laser platform behind me. Pinkie Pie then trots back to the blue portal and jumps for joy as she rejoins us. “I did it! I did it!” Pinkie Pie yelled. “How do you do it Pinkie?” I ask. “It’s like you’ve done this before.” “Didn’t you remember what I told you before? I saw the walkthrough.” “Pinkie. You do know that none of us know what a walkthrough is.” “You really need to get out more. A walkthrough is when someone records themselves playing a game and posts it online to show people how to get past a certain point.” “Are you saying, that this, is a ga-” “Can we please move on?! I REALLY want to get to GLaDOS!” yelled Rainbow Dash impatiently. “Fine, fine whatever.” I said as everypony enters the elevator and arrives on the next floor. END OF CHAPTER 2 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What up everypony? Sorry this took long, you see, between relaxing, kicking people's asses on UMVC3, and family. I came down with a tragic case of lazy ass. Anyway hope you enjoy the cahpter and see ya next chapter. > Chapter 3 The Return > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everypony departed from the elevator and as we moved towards the next test area everypony notices three floor panels slamming against the wall repeatedly. “Uhh…” I said breaking the silence. “What in the hay are they doing?” asked Applejack. “Can’t tell and don’t care. It’s obviously one of GLaDOS’s games.” replied Rainbow Dash. “Let’s just move on!” Everypony enters the test area and we are stunned by how big the room is. “Well ladies, I say we go into two teams from here on.” I suggested. “Sounds like a plan!” replied Rainbow Dash. “Let me and Twilight do this one.” “Why Twilight?” asked Rarity. “Because there are lasers in here, and she knows more about them than any of us do.” “Makes sense. Alright, good luck you two!” I said giving Rainbow Dash a thumbs up. “Thanks.” replied Rainbow Dash and Twilight. Twilight looks up and sees the height of the room. “Wow, that’s, a long way up.” “What’s up? You scared Twilight?” “No Rainbow, just nervous.” Rainbow Dash then fired a blue portal on the white part of the ceiling and fired an orange portal on the lower wall. “I call first dibs!” yelled Rainbow Dash as she hopped on the Areal Faith Plate. As Rainbow Dash gets launched into the portal she catches a glimpse of Wheatley. “Hey! Hey! It’s me! I’m okay!” yelled Wheatley, unfortunately Wheatley’s words began to fade as Rainbow Dash began to plummet, landing next to Twilight. “Guys! You’ll never guess who I saw!!” “Who?” asked Pinkie Pie. “I bet you saw-” Pinkie was then cut off by a faint beep. “Well, I’m back. The Aerial Faith Plate in here is sending a distress signal. You broke it, didn’t you.” “You can’t prove nothing!” yelled Rainbow Dash. “Whatever…There, try it now.” Rainbow Dash jumps on the Arial Faith Plate again and as she enters the portal she sees Wheatley again. “There I was, I was just lying there-” Wheatley’s words were then muffled by Rainbow Dash’s fall back to earth. “Hmm. This plate must not be calibrated to somepony of your…generousness.” “Actually, Rarity stands for generosity.” replied Rainbow Dash. “Just by looking at her, I agree.” “Sh-Should I be offended?” asked Rarity. “Probably.” I replied. “I’ll just add a few zeroes to the maximum weight. You look great by the way Rarity, very healthy.” “Again, should I be offended?” “I wouldn’t even think about it Rarity, she’s just trying to get in your head.” “Okay, try it again.” Rainbow Dash hops on the Plate again and she passes by Wheatley again. “A bloody bird! Right? Couldn’t believe it either-” Once again Wheatley’s voice was muffled by Rainbow Dash’s fall. “You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I’ll just lower the ceiling.” The portal on the white part of the ceiling disappears as the ceiling began to lower until it came to a halt. “Yo Twi.” “Yes Rainbow?” “There’s something I gotta tell ya when we get up.” “Okay?” Rainbow Dash fired a blue portal on the ceiling again she and Twilight hopped on the Ariel Faith Plate and flew through the blue portal and landed on the upper level. “Wow, this test area really IS big. I’m glad David suggested team ups.” “Yeah real nice, anyway Twilight I gotta tell ya this!” “Okay, what is it?” “I saw Wheatley again!” “What? Where?” “He was somewhere between here. I saw him before she lowered the ceiling.” “We’ve gotta tell the others, but first let’s finish this test.” “Right! So what do we do first boss?” Twilight then surveyed the area and saw two platforms reposition them selves and she saw a button. “We need to get up to that button. So go ahead and place a portal on that platform in the back.” “Gotcha!” Rainbow Dash did as she was told and she followed Twilight back to the lower level. Twilight and Rainbow Dash jumped on to the Faith Plate again and they flew straight up to the button. Twilight pressed the button and jumped back down to the lower level and fired an orange portal on the platform in front of the laser and jumps back down to the Arial Faith Plate with Rainbow Dash close behind her. As they were both launched through the portal again they flew past a glass wall and hit a solid wall. Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash slowly pick themselves up and Twilight grabs the cube and jumps next to the active laser with Rainbow Dash. Twilight placed the cube in front of the laser, redirecting it to the white wall. “Rainbow, put a portal on the platform next to the wall the laser is hitting.” “Okay boss!” saluted Rainbow Dash as she went off and did what she was told. “Okay, now jump through!” Twilight said trotting up next to Rainbow Dash. Without a single question they both jumped through the platform and landed on the Faith Plate, launching them backwards and they landed on the upper level next to a flight of stairs. “Look at you two. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp. So tell me Rainbow Crash, how does it feel to know that if you fly, everyone becomes swiss cheese?” “I don’t have to answer that!” “Oh don’t be mad. If you were able to fly, this would be waay too easy. And I wouldn’t want that.” While Rainbow Dash and GLaDOS were talking to each other Twilight had fired a blue portal on the wall the laser was hitting, then she troted behind the wall and fired a portal on the back, making the laser hit a laser platform. “All I’m saying is that I admire your ability to prove that you’re still, slightly competent even with your flight taken away.” “And I’m saying that you’re a-” “Come on Dash, tell the others that they can make a portal on the wall above us so we can move on!” “Okay, okay.” Rainbow Dash then jumped down and trotted back to the group. “Hey guys, we cleared this test, place a portal behind Twi so we can get moving.” “Hold on, wouldn’t our portals disrupt yours?” “Not really, you see, the reason our portals are connected is because we have the P-Link set to ‘on’. See?” I explained showing the others the bottom of my portal gun, it had ‘P-Link’ written on it and a flip switch set to on. “So if we turn off the P-Link, we can make our own portals without disrupting any other portals on our team. And I also suggest we keep our P-Links off. Since we are going to be on teams, we don’t need to cut each other off from the exit.” Everypony nods in agreement and we deactivate the P-Link setting. “Okay, hold on. Wait I see Twilight. So, I just fire a portal on the ceiling and one behind her right?” I asked. “Yes.” “Alrighty.” I fire a portal behind Twilight and another portal on the ceiling and everypony jumps on the Ariel Faith Plate and we land behind Twilight. “Good, you all made it.” “Yup, and Twilight, you might want to turn you P-Link off.” said Rainbow Dash. “Hm? Oh right!” Twilight flipped the switch. “I completely forgot about that.” Everypony heads to the elevator and arrive on the next floor. “Enjoy this next test, I’m going to the surface. It’s a beautiful day out. Yesterday I saw a deer. If you solve this next test, maybe I’ll let you all ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I’ll tell you about the time I saw a deer again.” “She sure does know how to give you motivation huh?” “Doesn’t matter, now listen everypony! I’ve got something to tell all of you!” “What’s up RD?” asked Applejack. “I saw Wheatley in the last test chamber.” “YAY!!” cheered Pinkie Pie. “That’s good, he’s still alive.” said Rarity. “So, did he say anything about a plan?” I asked. “Not really, he was trying to talk to me about, us thinking he was dead, he couldn’t believe it, and something about a bird.” “Huh, well… Let’s just get moving. I’m giving Wheatley the benefit of a doubt and just hope he has a plan. I have a feeling that GLaDOS is going to make a move soon. And if she does, then we’re done.” “Let’s just move on and hopefully Wheatley DOES have a plan. Now let’s keep moving.” said Twilight. “Roger.” replied Everypony. In the next testing area, everyone looks around the room in amazement. “Is it me, or are these test rooms getting bigger?” I asked. “Nope, it’s not just you.” replied Pinkie Pie. “So, who should get this room?” asked Applejack. “I think you and Rarity should this.” I replied. “Huh? Why us?!” Rarity and Applejack asked simultaneously. “Well, it’s been a while since you guys did this, and…well, not to be rude or anything, but your team work is… lacking.” “B-But-” “Come on Rarity, let’s just get it over with.” Applejack said interrupting Rarity. “Fine.” pouted Rarity. Rarity and Applejack looked around the room and Applejack spotted a cube on a platform. “Rarity, look!” Applejack nudged Rarity. “Oh, I see it! But how do we get it?” Applejack then looked at the wall and then looked into the pit that cut them off from the cube. “Ah’m already on it!” Applejack then fired a blue portal on the highest point on the wall behind them and fired an orange portal in the pit. “Alrighty Rarity, time to jump!” “Um, no. That fall is way too long. I refuse, it’s too dangerous!” “Look Rarity, we don’t have a lot of time fer this nonsense! Just jump!” “No, it’s too far down!” “Alright fine, if you don’t want t-” Applejack then instantly shoves Rarity into the pit and she jumps in after her. They both then fell through the orange portal soaring out of the wall, landing in front of the cube. “Applejack, are you insane?!?! You could’ve killed me!!” “But ah didn’t! Ah told you the fall wasn’t that long! You just need to stop whining!” “I’m not whining! I’m complaining! There is a difference.” Applejack ignored Rarity and just grabbed the cube and ran off. “H-Hey, wait for me!” Rarity darted after Applejack as they both jumped down the pit again and landed next to the Arial Faith Plate. Applejack and Rarity launched them selves upward and hit a glass wall. “Ugh. That did not tickle.” “Alright Rarity, let’s not get started.” “So what now?” “Hmm…” Applejack then placed the cube in front of the laser, cutting off the power of the laser platform making the glass wall panels lower into the floor. “Ahh, nice job Applejack!” “Now, let’s try this flyin’ thing one more time.” Applejack and Rarity jumped down and trotted up to the Areal Faith Plate and launched themselves upwards and as they approached the wall, they were launched forward again by another Areal Faith Plate on the wall, knocking them upward where they hit another glass wall. “Okay, this is startin’ to get annoyin’.” “I agree, it seems like it hurts more and more each time.” Applejack then stood up and pressed a button and a cube fell out of the chute above the Areal Faith Plate and as the cube hit the Plate it bounced up eventually hitting the glass wall. Applejack then picked up the cube. “This looks like one of them cubes that can redirect lasers. Rarity, see if you can get the laser from the lower level to hit up here so we can power that laser platform.” “Right I’m on it!” said Rarity ready to trot off. “Wait!” yelled Applejack, stopping Rarity in her tracks. “What is it?” “Take this cube. Trust me ah think yer gonna need this.” “Okay. Leave it to me.” Rarity then grabs the cube and runs off. Rarity jumps down one level to the cube still stopping the laser from hitting the laser platform. Rarity then placed the discouragement redirection cube behind the regular cube and picked up the regular cube making the laser hit the wall as it bounces off the discouragement redirection cube. Rarity then remembered what Twilight did in the first test chamber that had lasers and turned on the P-Link on her portal gun, connecting her portals with Applejack’s then she fired a blue portal on the wall that the laser was hitting causing the laser to pop out of the deep pit where the orange portal that Applejack placed. Rarity then picked up the regular cube and jumped on the Faith Plate and got launched up back to Applejack. Rarity then fired an orange portal on the wall next to Applejack causing the laser to come through and hit the laser platform. The glass wall panels then went into the floor and Applejack and Rarity gave each other a high hoof. “Good job Rarity!” “Why thank you darling. All in a days work.” Applejack and Rarity jumped down and landed next to the group. “Okay everypony, we’re done we can go through now.” “Great!” yelled Rainbow Dash. “You two did really great out there.” I complemented. “Yeah, you two may have never met eye to eye but you two did great!” complemented Twilight. “Aw shucks, thanks guys.” replied Applejack. “Well, you passed the test. I didn’t see the deer today. I did see some ponies, but after dealing with Celestia and Luna, not to mention the fact that I have the mane 6 here, I’ve had my fill of ponies.” “An interesting story.” replied Rainbow Dash. Everypony then entered the elevator and arrived on the next floor. Upon arrival everypony looks at the number on the wall before entering the next test area. “We’re on number 11 already?” asked Twilight. “Yup, it won’t be long until we get to the final room.” I replied. “Do you think GLaDOS will make her move before we get to the end?” asked Rarity. “Who knows, all I know is that if Wheatley is planning on making a move, he needs to make it soon. Or else, it’s over.” “So who should get this one?” asks Pinkie Pie. “Well, it has been a while since you’ve got your turn. Who do you want to team up with?” “Hmm… I think I’ll know once we enter the room.” “Alright, let’s go then.” Everypony enters the door and sees a ray of light at the end of the hall. “Ohh, what’s that?!” asks Pinkie Pie. “These bridges are made out of natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face.” “Oh! Really?!” Pinkie Pie ran up to the ray of light almost instantly and was about to put her face on it. “It could also set your hair on fire. So, do it at your own peril.” Pinkie Pie instantly stops herself and trots back to the group. “That was close.” “I’ll say, talk about late warnings.” replied Twilight. Everypony steps up on the light bridge and runs across it. Everypony then examines the room. “Woah, out of one big room. And into another.” I said. “So, do you know who you want as your partner Pinkie?” “Yup! Twilight!” “Why me?” “Well duh, you were one of the scientist here before you became a test subject with the rest of us. So you must know how these bridges work right?” “Well yes, but-” “Then it’s settled! Let’s do it!” Twilight then let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine.” Pinkie Pie then fired a blue portal on the wall the light bridge was touching and fired an orange portal at the upper wall behind her and they both trot through the portal and stop when there over the water. “Okay Twilight, now what?” “What do you mean ‘now what’?” “Well, you see, I didn’t really think THAT far ahead.” “Pinkie, but you-” Twilight stopped herself with a face hoof and let out another exasperated sigh. “Alright Pinkie, it’s not that hard. As you can tell just by looking behind you, there’s a button in that hall way, behind that glass wall. So what do you think we need to do now? I mean come on, you were able to do the past test chambers with ease, why is it different now?” “Um…to tell you the truth, I didn’t get that far in the trotthrough.” I’m gonna find out what a ‘walkthrough’ is one day, Twilight thought to herself. “Okay, first were gonna need to get a cube.” “Right!” Pinkie Pie then bounced to the button and pressed it, causing a cube to fall from the chute and land into the water. But then another cube came from the chute. “It seems we’ll have plenty, we’ll just have to get down there then.” “I’m already on it.” Pinkie Pie then fired an orange portal on the wall next to the exit making the light bridge Twilight was standing on lower and she fell on her side. “Ugh! Pinkie! Warn me before you do that!” “Oops, sorry Twilight.” “Hmm… Pinkie, turn your P-Link on with mine, I think I know how we can get down there.” “Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie Pie saluted and turned her P-Link on with Twilight. Twilight then fired an orange portal on the wall inside the pit. Pinkie Pie then hopped up on the bridge and jumped onto the lower one with Twilight. Twilight and Pinkie trot down until they see a white square in the wall and Pinkie Pie fires an orange portal on the wall and they trot forward until Twilight fires another orange portal on the lower wall to the right causing the light bridge to lower again and Pinkie Pie catches the cube before it falls into the water. “Phew, that was a close one huh?” “Yes, good job Pinkie.” “Thanks, so what now.” Twilight closed her eyes half way in annoyance and pointed to the portal behind them. “Oh, right.” Twilight and Pinkie trot through the orange portal and Twilight fires a portal close to the exit. “Alright everypony, we’ve cleared this place. Let’s move!” “Yes ma’am!” replied Everypony. Everypony trotted through the orange portal and jumped off the bridge except Pinkie Pie, she trotted all the way down to the button and placed the cube on top of it. “Good job Pinkie! Now, just find a way over here!” yelled Twilight. “Got it!” Pinkie Pie then fired a portal at the wall below the platform and jumped down and trotted back at the beginning and fired a portal slightly above her and trots to the end of the bridge and hops off, landing next to Twilight. “Excellent! Your all predators and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test.” Fluttershy then let out a tiny yelp. I see, so that’s her motive, I thought. “Well, I hope you all enjoy the next few tests. I know I will.” “It looks like it wont be long now, if Wheatley doesn’t do something soon, we’re all dead!” Rainbow Dash said nearly panicking. “Stay calm, panicking will only give GLaDOS what she wants. We just need to count on Wheatley, remember what I said before: Benefit of a doubt.” “Right, let’s…just move on.” Twilight said. Everypony then boarded the elevator and we arrived in the next floor. “Good news. I figured out what to do with all that money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you all die, I’m going to laminate your skeletons and pose you all in the lobby. That your ‘princesses’ will learn next time not to leave any ponies or human behind.” Everyponies face begin to turn grey and Fluttershy is ready to cry. “Sh-She’s sick. D-Do you think the test that’ll do us in?” asked Rainbow Dash. “M-Maybe. Th-There’s always that p-possibility.” Applejack stuttered in fear. “W-We can’t go out there.” Rarity stuttered in fear. “We have to.” I said. “B-But she’ll kill us if we go out there.” “She’ll kill us even if we stay here. Let’s just go… and get this over with.” Everypony slowly walk past the door and into a dark hallway and as they approach the door it malfunctions. “Perfect, the door’s malfunctioning. I guess somebody’s going to have to repair that too. No, don’t get up. I’ll be right back. Don’t touch anything.” “Well, savor this moment girls.” I then swallow deeply. “I-It may just be our last.” Wheatley the appears behind the glass window. “Hey! Hey! Up here!” “WHEATLEY!!” shouted Everypony. “Haha! I was wondering when you’d show up!” said Rainbow Dash. “Well, I would’ve been here sooner, but I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped em’ into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I-” Wheatley then get’s attacked by a bird. “AGH!! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!” Everypony just laughed at the scene. Wheatley then came back after a few seconds out of breath. “Okay. That’s probably the bird, isn’t it? Livid!” “Yeah that’s very nice Wheatley, now we’ve seen you from time to time through out the test chambers. So tell us, do you have a plan or not? Incase you haven’t heard, GLaDOS is planning a surprise for us in one of the next test chambers, and knowing her. It’s probably this one.” I said. “Yes, I know I heard the conversation! And don’t worry, like I said in the beginning just stay calm, we’re gonna make a break for it soon. Very soon, I promise! I just have to figure out how. To break us out of here.” “Well figure it out soon. There’s no telling when GLaDOS is gonna make her move.” Twilight shouted slightly. “Okay, don’t worry I- Here she comes! Just keep testing, and remember: you never saw me.” Wheatley then made a quick dash to the left. Everypony then entered the next test area. “I went and spoke to the door mainframe. Let’s just say he won’t be… well, living anymore. Back to testing.” “Fluttershy.” I began. “Yes?” “Let’s do this test together, you and me.” “O-Okay, I’ll do my best.” “Thanks. And activate your P-Link with mine too.” “Right.” Fluttershy activates her P-Link connecting it with mine. I was about to fire a portal, until Twilight stopped me. “Hey, wait!” “Hm? What’s up Twilight?” “Have you guys noticed that chute?” Me and Fluttershy turn and look at the chute. “Huh, you’d think we would’ve seen that.” I then fired a blue portal on the wall the Light Bridge was touching and Fluttershy fires a portal on the wall in the water pit, causing the light bridge to appear under the chute. I then press the button and the cube falls and lands on the bridge. “Thanks for the save Twilight.” “Yeah, we didn’t even see the chute.” “No prob you guys.” “Alright Fluttershy, let’s move.” “Okay!” Me and Fluttershy jump onto the bridge and I grab the cube and we pass through the portal and we stop halfway across the bridge. I then fire a blue portal under on the platform where the entrance is and we walk back through and as we walk towards the door, everypony jumps down into the bridge to join us. “This was incredibly short compared to the others, I wonder why.” I said. “This was probably the room before her, ‘endgame’.” said Twilight. “I just hope Wheatley can get us out of here.” said Fluttershy. Hm, she was quiet almost the entire time. Poor girl, she was probably scared out of her mind, I thought. “Let’s just hurry up and get into the next room, can’t wait to see what Wheats got up his sleeve.” said Rainbow Dash. I put the cube on the button and the door opens. “Well done, in fact, you did so well, I’m going to note this on each of your files, in the commendations section. Oh, there’s a lot of room for all of you. And I’ve got to type this down on seven profiles. So this shouldn’t take long at all. ‘Did… well. … enough’.” Everypony hurried into elevator and arrived on the next floor. As we exited the elevator we instantly noticed a turret in front of us, making Fluttershy almost scream, but me and Rainbow Dash quickly shut her mouth. “Phew, Fluttershy, you’ve gotta stay quiet.” whispered Applejack. “So, how do we get past it?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Really? You seriously asked that?” I asked in a disappointed tone. I then walk up to the turret and tilt it over with my foot. “Ow ow ow ow.” Screamed the turret as it fell over and fired rounds at the floor. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that joke about gravity you made about them before.” “Of course you did.” Everypony then notices the red beam aimed at the wall. “Great, another turret.” said Twilight. “Don’t worry, I got it!” said Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash then glared down the hall way and saw the turret. Before the turret had time to deploy its bullets, Rainbow Dash quickly fired a portal behind it and ducked back. Rainbow Dash then fired a blue portal on the wall in front of her and jumped right through hitting the turret, knocking it over. “Ouchy.” the turret quietly moaned as it fired rounds at the floor. Everypony then jumped through the portal and joined Rainbow Dash as they clinged to the wall. “Good job Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy complemented. “Thanks. Unfortunately there’s one turret left.” “Don’t worry, I’m on it!” I said excitedly. I then peered down the hallway and fired a portal above the turret and fired another portal on the floor in front me. “Banzaaaaiiii!” I yelled as I jumped down into the portal and landed on top of the turret. As soon as I land on the turret I hold it down as it unloads its round on the floor. “Critical error.” the Turret said quietly. The mane six quickly joined me. “Yeah! Take that turret! That’s for what happened two years ago!” “What happened two years ago?” Twilight asks. -2 years into the past- I walk into a test room and the lights are off, making the room pitch black. “Alright, so, what’s today’s test Princess Celestia?” “Today is a survival test.” “Sweet! Lez do dis!” “Alright, let the test… Begin!” The lights turn on revealing the seventeen turrets surrounding me. “Well… fu-” The turrets unleash there bullets. -Back in the present- “Umm… No reason.” I said rubbing the back of my head smiling sheepishly. “Oookay?” Rainbow Dash started with an awkward tone. “Let’s just continue on.” Everypony then proceeds up stairs and sees the two turrets facing each other. “Dang it!” I started. “A direct attempt is suicide. There’s gotta be someway to knock them down without getting ourselves killed.” Pinkie Pie then noticed a cube and picked it up. “Hey, maybe we can use this?” “How, did we, miss that?” I ask dumbfounded. “I dunno.” “Let me see it Pinkie, I have an idea.” said Twilight. “Okie Dokie Lokie.” Pinkie Pie handed the cube over to Twilight and she placed it on the ground and fired a blue portal under the cube and fires an orange portal over where the turret was standing. The cube then fell through the portal and hit the turret in the head and it tilted over. “Ouch!” the turret moaned slowly in agony as it unleashed its bullets into the floor. “Good one Twi!” said Rainbow Dash. “Now let me deal with that last one.” Rainbow Dash then fired a blue portal below her and an orange portal above her and jumped into the portal and landed on top of the turret and ducked quickly into the hallway as the turret fell on its side and started firing rounds. After the turret shut down everypony joins Rainbow Dash. “Heh, that really WAS fun.” Rainbow Dash said. “Ha! Told ya so.” I said. Everypony then moved down the hall and clinged to the wall instantly as soon as they saw three turrets in the room. “O-Okay, wh-what d-do we d-d-do?” stuttered Fluttershy barely able to form the sentence. “Um… Oh! Rainbow Dash, do you still have your portals active?” I asked. “Um…Yeah, why?” “Good, take down the orange one and fire another orange one at the far end of the room I have an idea.” “Got it!” Rainbow Dash held up her portal gun and deactivated her orange portal and fired it under the turret closes to the door. Causing it to fall into the previous room with its gun rounds and its moan of pain to be heard. “Good job Rainbow! Now it’s my turn.” I then run out of the room and grab a the cube that was laying next to the deactivated turret and ran back into the hallway. “What’re you gonna do with that?” asked Applejack. “Simple, I’m gonna solve this problem, army style.” I then get on my belly with my portal gun carrying the cube and I begin to crawl into the room and I knock down the first turret and it began to unload its round in the ceiling, causing the second turret to lock onto the cube and it began to fire its rounds at the cube. The seemingly endless rounds of bullets slowed me down slightly as I slowly pressed on being careful not to get shot. I finally reached the turret and I knocked it back causing it to fall on its side and it unleashed more rounds on the wall until it deactivated. I slowly stand up and wipe off my fore head. “Sheesh, just how many rounds do these things have?!” Everypony quickly joined me in the testing room. “That was awesome!” said Rainbow Dash. Awesome for you, scariest moment in my life. At least I don’t have to do it again, I thought. “That was well thought out.” Twilight started. “I didn’t know you were a strategist.” “I’m not.” I began rubbing the back of my head. “I saw some other pony use that tactic before all this mess happened. I just so happened to remember. I’m just glad it’s over.” “Are you alright?” asked Fluttershy. “Yeah, I’m good Flutter.” “Flutter huh?” Rainbow Dash snickered. “What? It’s short for Fluttershy.” “Oh, nothing.” Rainbow Dash responded trying her best not to laugh. “Well I think it’s a cute nickname.” said Fluttershy. “Thank you, at least you appreciate my nicknames.” I said crossing my arms. “Alright everypony, ah don’t mean to sound pushy, but ah think it’s time we moved forward.” Applejack said pointing to the door. “Right! Let’s go!” Twilight said. Everypony passed the emancipation grill only to find the path to the elevator was destroyed. “Woah, what do you think happened here?” asked Rainbow Dash. “GLaDOS, on her period.” I said laughing. Everypony just stared at me until I slowly stopped laughing. “Looks like the only way to go is down.” Twilight said. “Right! Let’s go!” Rainbow Dash said jumping down. Everypony followed suit and walked past two automatic doors and began to walk down a hallway. “To maintain a constant testing cycle, I stimulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time. The point is, yesterday was the anniversary of your princesses abandoning you. I thought you’d want to know.” “Is it me or is her voice losing what little emotion it had?” I asked. “She may be close to putting her plan into action.” Twilight responded. “Well, Wheatley does have a plan, so let’s just keep hoping for the best.” said Rainbow Dash. Everypony reached the end of the walkway and the floor panel lifted them up to the next test room. Everypony looks around the room in confusion until they all stare at Twilight. “Huh? What!? Why are you all staring at me?” “Well, you are an egghead.” Rainbow Dash stated. “And you did study with all the scientist.” Rarity added. “And basically, you pretty much know all of the stuff about theses test chamber that we don’t know about.” I said. “Well, from as far as I can tell, that laser powers those small laser conductors. So all we’ve gotta do is power them all.” Twilight explained. “Could we see a demonstration?” Rainbow Dash asked sheepishly. Twilight then let out a sigh. “Fine.” Twilight took the cube that was redirecting the laser and moved it carefully so that she was moving it down but still redirecting the laser. She kept moving down with the cube until it hit the first laser conductor. Twilight then fires a portal at the part of the wall that the laser was hitting and fired another portal in front of the last two laser conductors, causing the door to open. “Oooooooh.” said Everypony. “Now do you guys get it?” asked Twilight. “Yup, it seems easy enough.” said Rainbow Dash. “Alright. In the next test chamber, I want you to do it then Rainbow, think of it as a pop quiz.” “Aw, I hate pop quizzes!” Everypony then made there way to the elevator. “You know how I’m going to live forever, but you’re all going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I’ve been working on a birthday surprise for you all, since you all will probably never have another birthday ever again, I decided to give you all a present.” “Wow. Really?!” asked Pinkie Pie in excitement. “Well… more of a birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it’s a medical EXPERIMENT. What’s important is, it’s a present.” “True, that lady’s so evil, I’m surprised that she even GOT a present.” I said. “And I’m sure its something we all can go the rest of our lives without.” said Rainbow Dash. “I just hope its not what I think it is.” Twilight said nervously. Everypony then enters the elevator and they arrive on the next test area. “That jump suit you’re all wearing looks stupid.” “WHAT?!?!?” Rarity yelled. “That’s not me talking, its right here on your file. On other ponies it looks fine. But on you it looks ‘stupid’.” “I’ll have you know that MY jumpsuit is custom made. I couldn’t just wear those ugly orange jumpsuits they wanted us to wear.” “Hey!” I squeaked. “All of my clothes are hoof made. And trust me, this lady knows how to make clothes.” “Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion?” “Exactly.” Rarity replied. “Oh wait, it’s a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!” “Grr!” Rarity growled with her face turning red. “Easy Rarity. She’s just trying to ruffle your fur.” I said. “Let’s just focus on getting out of here.” Rarity then let out a big sigh. “I guess you’re right.” Everypony walked down the hall until they saw the four turrets behind a light wall, causing everypony to freeze and Fluttershy to hide behind me. “W-Woah, th-those things gave me a scare.” Rainbow Dash stuttered. “I-I know, but, why aren’t they firing?” asked Twilight. “Well, in my… unfortunate years of testing with turrets, I know a thing or two about them.” I said. “The reason why they aren’t firing is because they use that red laser light to see. If they detect you with that red light, then they can track you and fire at you as long as you stay within there perimeter. So technically without that red light, they’re basically blind.” Me and Twilight take a quick look from behind the wall and see that the room is full turrets. The closest turret aims at my head and me and Twilight quickly duck behind the wall before it unloads its rounds. “W-Well, since you kn-know more about t-turrets, I-I think you should g-go.” Twilight said trying to calm herself down. “Fine by me. I have a personal score to settle with these things anyway.” I fired a portal on the part of the wall where the light bridge hit and fired another portal in front of the turret’s line of sight and I run up and cling to the wall where I put the portal. I then deactivate my portals and tip toe past the turret. “Is anyone there?” the turret asks. I then pick up the turret. “Oh yeah, someone’s here alright.” I slam the turret against the wall and stomp on it repeatedly. “Ha! Take that ya little freak!” I put a portal back against the light wall and I fire another portal on the wall in front of me and I shimmy next to one of the four turrets and I title the first one over with my foot and I quickly duck back behind the wall as they all tilt over and unload there rounds. “Yeah! I’m going man hunter on these turrets. Although, I guess under the circumstances I guess its turret hunter…. Hmm. I’ll have to think about that.” I then cling to the wall and shimmy to the edge and look past the wall to see multiple turrets in the room. “Damn, she went crazy with the turrets. I have to get this perfectly, one wrong move and the mane 6 will have to press on without me.” I then look back and see my two portals are still active and I look back into the room. “A direct approach is suicide, luckily I know the turrets inner most workings. Outsmarting them should be a snap.” I deactivate the blue portal and fire it at the wall under the security camera, leaving the path blocked off from the turrets line of sight. I bolt forward and launch my self from an Areal Faith Plate and I land on the other side of the room. I then cling to the wall on the platform in the center of the room and I take another look around the room and I notice a cube with four turrets guarding its perimeter. “Damn, they’ve got that covered too. It looks like I’ll have to attack from above.” I then look at the top of the platform. “If only I could get up there, then I’d have all the advantages I’d need.” I rub my chin for a few seconds and then a light bulb appears above my head. “Aha! That’s it!” I fire another blue portal on the upper wall causing the light bridge to cover the top platform. I then jump onto the Arial Faith Plate and I fly upward hitting the light bridge. I then run to the end of the walkway and I stare down at the four turrets. “Alright, I need to hit them fast and hard…I’m soooo gonna enjoy this.” I jump down and grab the cube and I spin in place knocking down the four turrets and as they hit the ground I quickly jumped off the platform before they unleashed there rounds, and I ducked down until they stopped. I then picked up the cube again and placed it on the button on the center. The door then opened and to my horror, there were two turrets directly behind the door and as soon as I ran they unleashed there bullets. As I quickly ducked behind the wall to my right, having a bullet graze my arm. “Damn it! That was close, I really need to be more careful.” I then canceled my portals and I fired a blue portal on the wall in front of me and I fired a portal next to the two turrets. I then slowly stepped into the portal and kicked the two turrets down and I quickly jumped back through the portal and canceled them before the turrets unleashed there rounds. “Phew, that was a little too close.” I then walk back to the mane 6. “Alright ladies. The room’s all clear, we can now move freely.” “Good, great job.” Twilight said. “Are you okay though?” Fluttershy asked. “Yeah, we heard alooot of rounds go off.” added Rainbow Dash. “Don’t worry, I’m fine. Although I’ll admit that one of those turret’s bullet grazed my arm.” “Did it break the skin?!” Fluttershy asked almost scared. “Heh heh, no Flutter, it just grazed me. Trust me, I don’t need another bandage on me.” I then looked up to see the strand “Speaking of which, I forgot that this thing was on me entirely.” I then begin to unwrap the cloth and let it drop to the floor. “Are you sure that you’re alright?” Fluttershy asked. “Yes, mom. I’m okay, don’t worry.” Everypony laughed and we continued to the elevator. “Hay David.” “What do ya want GLaDOS?” “I’m going through a list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. And I managed to find two with your last name. A boy and a girl, one’s a Pegasus and the other’s an Earth Pony.” “And I should care…why?” “I just thought it was interesting. It’s a small world.” “Right, I could’ve gone my whole life not knowing that.” Everypony then enters the elevator and arrives on the next floor. “I have a surprise for you all after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I’ll give you all a hint: It involves two people you haven’t seen in a long time.” Pinkie Pie then let out a loud and long gasp. “Calm yourself Pinkie, there is no surprise.” “Huh? Really?” “Yes, knowing GLaDOS, the surprise is probably her ‘end game’ move. So let’s hope Wheatley comes through. Before it’s too late.” Everypony walks into the test area and sees a red laser coming out of a vent. “Uhh, what is that?” asked Rarity. “10 bits on it being a turret.” replied Rainbow Dash. “Something tells me you’d win that bet. Alright ladies, lets just jump over it and try not to trigger it.” I said. “Okie Dokie Lokie!” Everypony then slowly approached the red laser and jumped over it without setting the turret off. Everypony then takes a look around the test room and sees turrets lined up after each other. “Seriously! What is up with all these freaking turrets?!?!” I yelled in frustration. “What do we do now?” asks Fluttershy. “We can’t get past that without getting really hurt.” I look at the button in the room and I step on it causing a laser to hit the ground. An evil smile slowly formed on my face. “Not entirely my dear little Flutter. Not entirely.” “Dude, what are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked giving me a weird look. “Watch this.” I then fired a portal on the wall in front of the turret and I fire a portal on the part of the ground that the laser was touching and the laser moves through the portal and it slowly blows through the three turrets in the row. “See? No problem at all.” “But what about the last three?” asked Twilight. I scratch my chin and I look around the room. “Aha! I’ve got an idea! Twilight, stand on this button for me.” “Uh, okay?” Twilight stand on the button keeping the laser active and I run off and grab the discouragement redirection cube and put it in front of the laser and I use the laser to slowly destroy one turret after another until the exit was empty. I then put the cube in front of the laser platform which powered the door and I ran back to the mane 6 with another cube on my portal gun. “Alright Twilight, you can get off now.” Twilight hopped off the button and I placed the cube on the button. “Man, these past few test chambers have been great for me. I’m getting soooo much sweet revenge on these portals.” “You sure ya don’t wanna share what these turrets did to ya?” Applejack asked. “Trust me, I’d rather not talk about it.” “Are you sure?” Fluttershy asks. “Talking will make you feel better.” “Trust me Flutter, what I’m doing to these turrets is making me feel better already. Let’s just move onto the elevator.” Everypony trots off to the elevator and as we approach the elevator GLaDOS begins to hum ‘For he’s a jolly good fellow.’. “Is she humming?” I asked as everypony entered the elevator. “I think so.” Twilight replied. “It’s freaking me out.” “Same here.” said Rarity. “I dunno guys, I like her humming. And besides, everypony should be in a good mood, even if they’re psychotic killer robots.” “Sure, Pinkie. Sure.” I replied. The elevator comes to a stop and Everypony makes there way to the test room and we all stop as soon as we reach the test room. “Uhh…okay. And how the heck are we supposed to solve this!?” I asked looking around the room. “Hmm…I think I might know.” said Twilight as she fires a portal in front of the light bridge and fires another portal on the white part of the wall that’s closest to the button. Twilight then trotted through the portal and moved the cube out of the way of the laser, causing the platform at the back of the room to move up. “Aha! I see.” Twilight then fired a portal on the white square on the wall that was next to her and she grabbed the cube and brought it through the portal and placed the cube directly in front of the laser platform, cutting off the lasers contact and causing the platform to lower. “Everypony onto that platform!” Twilight then jumped off the light platform and joined the rest of the group and as everypony made it onto the platform, Twilight cancelled the portals cutting off the light bridge and causing the cube to fall on the button. The platform then began to raise and the door to the elevator was opened. “I’ll bet you all thought I forgot about your surprise. I didn’t. In fact, we’re headed to your group surprise right now. After all this time, I’m getting chocked up just thinking about it.” Everypony gulps heavily and enters the elevator. END OF CHAPTER 3 ------------------------------------ Yo! What up Everypony! Now, I'm really sorry this took so long. And as you can obviously tell, I gots me a new monitor. That old piece of junk finnaly died on me and I got a new one. And I gotta say, it's a pretty badass apple monitor. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter and I'll see you all next chapter. Later. Oh and by the by, thanks for the support. I really didn't expexct this to be like as much as it it now. So thanks for the love and support, and like I said I'll see you next chap. later. > Chapter 4 The Suprise > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everypony leaves the elevator and enters a dark room. “Oh no…it’s d-d-d-dark.” Fluttershy stuttered in pure fear. “Don’t worry Flutter, I’m here.” I said. “You mean, we’re all here right?” Rainbow Dash said teasing. “Rainbow, now’s not the time or the place!” “Don’t worry everypony, she’s just preparing the surprise. No need to be afraid just because it’s dark.” said Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie? Do you exactly KNOW what the surprise is?” asked Rarity. “No, not really.” “And what do you think it’s gonna be, huh?” I asked. “She did say that it involved to ponies that we hadn’t seen in a while. So I’m guessing that it’s the princesses!” “Get real Pinkie! The princesses are probably at the castle right now! I highly doubt that Celestia and Luna are here!” The door then opens and two familiar figures move into the room slowly. “Huh? Who’s that?” Twilight asked. “I dunno, it’s too dark to see.” replied Rainbow Dash. “Deploying surprise in 3… 2… 1…” The lights instantly turn on and the dark figures turn out to be Celestia and Luna inflatables. Leaving everypony with confused/disturbed/surprised faces. “I made the whole thing up.” Confetti then falls out of a chute in the corner of the room and you can hear a party horn. “Surprise.” Twilight then used her magic to pop the inflatables and everypony exits the room. “Oh come on… if it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you as soon as they killed me. So I very seriously doubt they’d even want to see any of you anyway.” “It looks we need to activate those laser conductors, and there’s a turret in this room too. And the bad part is that he’s in a position where he can see us no matter where we are.” I said. “So what do we do?” asks Rarity. “Well, you guys find a way to use those lasers to your advantage and I’ll distract the turret.” “No! You can’t do that! You’ll get hurt!” Fluttershy protested. “If I don’t then our friends will get hurt. Don’t worry Flutter, I’ll be okay.” I said patting her back. “Now, when I jump down, you guys solve the test as quick as you can.” “Right!” said Rainbow Dash. “We’ll get it done as soon as we can!” said Twilight. “Right, well…here I go.” I then jumped down and ran into the turret’s line of sight. “Yo, no hit wonder! I’m over here!” “Firing.” the turret muttered softly before unleashing its rounds. I then begin to jump, duck, and roll around the room. “Thank God I’m used to dealing with these things in the past, or this would be REALLY dangerous!” The mane 6 then quickly jumped down and Twilight headed towards the laser and fires a blue portal on the barriers wall and fires another portal at the white wall in the back of the room. The mane 6 then quickly ducked into the portal and Twilight fires a portal on the top of the light bridge in the room and fires another portal in front of the platform the Areal Faith Plate was, causing another downward light bridge to appear. “Okay, we’re almost done. Rarity, press that button and follow me everypony!” Twilight said. “Yes ma’am!” replied Everypony. Rarity then pressed the button, causing a cube to fall from a chute and the cube hit the light bridge. Twilight the fires a blue portal at the barrier and fires an orange portal on the wall next to her. The mane 6 head through the portal and peer around the barrier to see me still dodging bullets. “Uh, girls? I hate being a pushy you-know-what, but if you don’t mind, I would reeeeeeally appreciate it if you guys could speed up the process!” “Just keep dodging David! We’re almost done!” Twilight said as she fires an orange portal on the wall in front of the two discouragement redirection cubes. “Okay everypony, stay here. I’ve got an idea, just make sure that turret doesn’t get any shots in on David okay?” “Yes ma’am!” replied Everypony. Twilight then moved through the portal and grabbed the discouragement redirection cube and brought it back to the laser and placed the cube down aiming it at the wall. Twilight then heads back through the portal and grabs the second discouragement redirection cube. Twilight aims the cube towards the turret, causing it to slowly catch on fire and explode. I then drop to the floor out of breath. “F-Finally, n-not a m-moment too soon…” I panted. Fluttershy dashes out from behind the barrier wall and hovers over me, with the mane 6 following behind her. “Are you okay? Did any of the bullets graze you again? Did you pull a muscle?” I gently laugh. “It’s cool Flutter, the only thing I sustained from the insane turret, was fatigue. I just need to breathe for a few seconds.” “Ha! Fluttershy, you really can be such a mom!” Rainbow Dash laughed. “R-Really? I’m sorry.” “Nah, don’t apologies. I just thought it was funny.” I smile and give Twilight a thumbs up. “Good job by the way Twi!” “Thanks, now to finish the puzzle.” Twilight fires a portal behind her and trots through the portal and aims the discouragement redirection cube diagonally, hitting two laser conductors. She then trots over to the other cube and places it in front of the lasers path, causing it to hit the last two laser conductors and a laser platform, opening the door. She then fires a blue portal on the ceiling where the light bridge is and fires an orange portal on the wall on the left of the exit door, causing a light bridge to appear in front of the exit door. “I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, I’ll send the princesses a letter and when they reply, I’ll tell you what it says.” “She REALLY knows how to make a stupid joke drag on doesn’t she?” I asked slowly getting up. “Just ignore her. Let’s move.” Twilight said trotting towards the light bridge. “Roger.” I said following her along with the mane 6. “Who’s roger?” asks Pinkie Pie. I let out a small sigh. “I’ll tell you later.” “Gotcha.” Everypony then heads to the elevator and heads down. The elevator moves slowly and on our way down we see Wheatley. “Hey! How’s it going?!” “Wheatley! Boy are we glad to see you!” Rainbow Dash said. “It’s great to see you’re all still alive too. Now listen, I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small so –ah – I KNOW Jerry. NO, I’m on a break mate. On a break.” “Who are you talking to?” asks Twilight. “Oh, that’s just Jerry, he’s one of the-” Wheatley then hits a wooden beam on his way down. “Ow! One of the nanobots that I was talking about, he needed me to help fix something, but I’m on break anyway. So yeah, anyway, we’re really close to busting out of here, so just hang on for five more – What? Jerry, you can’t fire me for that! Yes, JERRY – or, maybe your prejudiced worksite should have accommodated a nanobot of my size. Thanks for the hate crime, Jer. See you in court mate.” Everypony is trying there best to hold in there laughter. “Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more test chambers. Okay?” “Got it!” replied Twilight. “You can count on us.” “Good, that’s good, well anyway catch you guys later!” “Bye Wheatley!” replied Everypony as the elevator went down a tunnel. After a few more tunnels, the elevator arrives on the next floor and everypony departs from it. “Well, you know the old formula: Comedy equals tragedy plus time. And you all have been asleep for a while. So I guess it’s actually pretty funny when you do the math.” No pony gave a response and moved into the next test area. “Woah! Pretty big, do ya think we’ll need teams again?” asked Applejack. “Maybe. Wanna do this one with me?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Sure, why not?” Applejack and Rainbow Dash jump off the platform and Rainbow Dash grabs the discouragement redirection cube. “Alrighty, I can see th’ laser goin’ into an room up there. Let’s get up there an’ get a better view of th’ room.” “Agreed.” Applejack fired an orange portal on the ground next to her and fires another portal on the wall next to the laser. Applejack and Rainbow Dash jump into the portal and land next to the laser. “Alrighty, let’s see… I see a laser conductor over there. Let’s see what it can do.” Rainbow Dash places the cube down and aims it at the conductor. As the laser powers the conductor nothing happens, as far as Applejack and Rainbow Dash can see. “Do ya think it did anything?” “Not sure, let’s check it out.” Rainbow Dash and Applejack jump off the edge and land next to the orange portal. “Hmm… It doesn’t look like anything happened.” Applejack looks up and sees another discouragement redirection cube in front of another laser conductor. “Hmm, ah wouldn’t be so sure Rainbow. Wait here.” Applejack fires a portal above the discouragement redirection cube and jumps into the orange portal. She grabs the cube and jumps down next to Rainbow Dash. “So, what now?” “Ah’m not sure.” Rainbow Dash and Applejack look around the room deep in thought, until Rainbow Dash gets an idea. She fires a blue portal on the platform above an Arial Faith Plate and she grabs the cube. “Hang on for a few seconds AJ.” “Alrighty.” Rainbow Dash jumps into the orange portal and as she falls through she lands on the Faith Plate and she flies back through the portal, while she was in the air she fired a blue portal on the wall in front of her and as she fell through the portal again she flew out of the wall and landed next to the laser. Rainbow Dash then used cube to aim the laser at the laser conductor in front of the exit door. Rainbow Dash then jumped down and trotted to Applejack. “Hey Rainbow, ah saw another one o’ those discouragin’ redirectin’ cubes.” “Really? Where?” “Up there.” Applejack points to a discouragement redirection cube mounted on a platform next to a white wall. “Cool, I’ll-” “Don’t sweat it Rainbow, Ah’ll get it.” “Okay, if you want to.” Applejack fires a blue portal above the Ariel Faith Plate and jumps through the orange portal. As she falls through and gets shot back into the air, she fires a blue portal on the wall close to the cube and as she flies out of the wall she knocks the cube down and lands next to it. Applejack then fired another blue portal on the ceiling above the laser. Applejack jumps through landing next to the laser and aims the laser towards three turrets, slowly burning them until they all blew up. Applejack then aimed the laser at the laser platform causing platforms to rise under the exit path. “Alrighty everypony, we’re done with this test! Ya’ll can come join us now!!” Applejack yelled. Everypony jumped down and joined Rainbow Dash and Applejack. “Great job you two!” yelled Pinkie Pie. “Y-Yeah, way to go.” said Fluttershy sheepishly. “I gotta admit, I thought you two were gonna need help with this test, but you two handled that pretty well.” I said. “Even I must admit, you did a great job out there Applejack, you too Rainbow Dash.” Rarity said with slight difficulty. “Thanks everypony, it wasn’t that hard.” Applejack replied rubbing the back of her head. “Yeah although, it would’ve been easier if I were able to fly.” “Don’t sweat it Rainbow, at least we finished.” Applejack replied. “Okay you two, how do we get outta here?” Twilight asked looking around the room. “Like this.” Rainbow Dash then fired a portal above the Faith Plate and jumped into the orange portal. As she gets launched into the air she fires a portal on the wall and she flies through the portal and lands next to the laser. “Like that! Do it like I did and you’ll make it!” Everypony copied Rainbow Dash’s strategy and eventually everypony made it to the emancipation grill. “I thought about our little dilemma, and I came up with a solution that I honestly think works out for one of everypony.” “One of? Definitely doesn’t sound good.” I said. “Let’s just keep moving, hopefully there isn’t that much left to do.” replied Twilight. Everypony enters the elevator and arrive on the next floor. “Now, I know this question is long over due, so I’m gonna ask now. How far down does this place go?” I ask. “No one knows, ponies say its 30,000ft deep.” Twilight replied. “Sheesh! Was Cave Johnson paranoid?! I knew the stallion was crazy, but paranoid too? Sheesh!” “I don’t think he was paranoid, I think he just wanted a lot of space to test in.” “Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber… is looking pretty good.” Everypony just stare at the room with a blank stare. “That’s right, this facility is fully operational again.” “That doesn’t sound good.” said Rarity. “Don’t worry girls, I’m pretty sure Wheatley will use that to his advantage.” Everypony then proceeds to the testing room, and as soon as everypony gets a good look at the test room, everypony stares at Twilight. “UGH!! Fine!” shouted Twilight as she storms off. Twilight then takes a good look at the lasers, the cubes, and the laser platforms. “So, do you think you can solve it?” Rainbow Dash asked sheepishly. Twilight only gave Rainbow Dash a death glare and went back to solving the test. “Uh, yeah, maybe we not talk so much to her? Anypony agrees?” I asked. Everypony gave there agreements. Twilight then fires portal on the wall where the laser was touching and fired another portal on the support beam in front of the three laser platforms. Twilight then picked up a cube and placed it in front of the laser going across the room, causing the laser to hit the second laser platform. Twilight then picks up the second cube and placed it under the laser hitting the floor, causing the laser to hit the third laser platform, opening the door. Twilight then trotted back to the group. “Alright Twi! High hoof!” I said holding up my hand. Twilight only stared at me with a REALLY annoyed expression. I then stared at her but kept smiling, hoping to cheer her up. “Uh, bro to sis hoof!” I said holding my fist in front of her, still nothing. “…Hoof shake?” Twilight then began to trot to the door. “Oh boy.” I said facepalming. “Don’t tell me she’s going to get all pouty with us.” “Meh, she gets like that sometimes. She’ll get over it.” Rainbow Dash said waving her hoof in the air. “I hope so, because if we’re gonna escape, we’re gonna need everyone to be on there best co-op behavior.” Everypony then joined Twilight in the elevator. “I think these testing chambers look better than they did before. It was easy, really. You just have to look at thing objectively, see what you don’t need anymore, and trim out the fat.” “Okay, not liking how she said that.” I said. “I know, she just loves being creepy.” replied Rainbow Dash. The elevator arrives at the next floor and everypony heads down the hall. “I’ve got a surprise for you everypony after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me’s going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.” “She sounds excited. Not a good sign.” said Rarity. “Yeah, what do you think it means Twilight?” I asked smiling. “Really?” “What, I’m just trying to make you smile. You’ve been acting odd Twilight.” “Just lay off it.” “Okay, if that’s what you want…So, does anypony mind if I do this?” “Nah, not really.” replied Rainbow Dash. “Go for it!” cheered Pinkie Pie. “Alrighty, here I go then.” I fire an orange portal on the white wall in the upper left hand corner of the room and I fire a blue portal on the wall where the light bridge meets the wall. I then walk through the portal and I press the button causing a cube to fall from the chute and it lands on the light bridge. I walk towards the cube casually until the light bridge and the lights cut off and I fall towards the floor landing on my back. Everypony rushes towards me and also look around the room, searching for the problem. “What’s going on? Who turned out the lights?” “Uh, does anypony know what’s going on?” asked Twilight. “Heh, th-thanks Wheatley.” I grunt in pain. “Wheatley?” asks Fluttershy. “Are you sure?” asks Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was him.” The wall panels move to the side and Wheatley appears. “Hey buddies.” Wheatley calls out in an English accent. “I’m speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing…” “Look – metal ball, I CAN hear you.” “Run! I don’t need to do the voice. RUN!” Everypony then makes a mad dash to the wall panel that Wheatley opens up and hops on top of the light bridge he constructs and run down until they stop and hop down onto a railing and run down the path. Wheatley then catches up to the group as they keep running down the path. “Okay, quick recap: We are escaping!” “Yeah, like we didn’t know that already!” I shouted. “Well, yeah, I guess running from almost certain death would count as obvious, but I digress! Quick word about future plans that I’ve got in store.” “Okay, we’ll follow whatever you’ve got planed!” said Twilight. “Well first, we’re going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.” “Sounds good to me!” said Rainbow Dash. “The irony is that you were almost at the last test.” As everypony continue to run down the path a test chamber appears from a huge panel of walls and a light bridge appears in front, connecting the railing to the test room. “Here it is. Why don’t you just do it? Trust me, it’s an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.” “Oh what? How stupid does she think we are?” Pinkie Pie then hops on the light bridge and trots to the test room until Twilight grabs her with her magic and pulls her back. “Pinkie!! What are you doing?!?!” yells Twilight in massive confusion. “What? She said it was the last test, and besides she said it’s an easier way out than this plan.” I pick up Pinkie Pie and place her waist round my arm and we begin to run in the opposite direction of the test room. “Trust me Pinkie, they test chamber maybe the way out, but I doubt it’s the way out we want!” “You sure about that?” “Positive!” As soon as everypony gets above another railing the light bridge shuts off and everypony lands on it. I then place Pinkie Pie back down on her hooves and we continue to make a run for it. “Come on! Come on!” Wheatley motions as he continues to lead everypony down the railing. Everypony then moves to a room that appears to be under a test chamber. And as Everypony moves past a tube two crane hands place down two online turrets. Noticing this, everypony ducks behind the tube out of the turrets line of sight. “Great! What now?” Rainbow Dash asks. “Well, I hate to say it, but it looks like we’re gonna have to charge them.” I said. “What?! That’s crazy!” yelled Twilight. “Yeah, we need to think about a new strategy. If you don’t mind that is.” said Fluttershy. “Sorry Flutter, but unless you guys can think of another idea in the next ten seconds, I’m going to follow through with my plan.” Everypony stayed silent for a few seconds, Applejack was about to speak but I interrupt her. “Times up! Now, here I go!” I dash at the first turret and I duck behind it and use it as a shield as the second turret unloads its round. After hitting the first turret a few times, the turret finally unloads its rounds. With both firing rounds at each other they slowly start to fall apart until they stop firing and fall to their sides. “I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn’t help now that the firing seems to have stopped, but at least I tried.” “Yes, you’re the master of timely concerns Wheats.” “Sorry.” “Yeah! I’m 0 for 2 turrets! What now!?” Everypony trots up to me and Rainbow Dash tugs on my shirt. “Hey, king of the world, we still got one turret left.” “Consider it smashed.” I slowly sneak behind the turret and kick it over. As soon as it stops unloading its round everypony looks around the room. “Okay, how do we get outta here?” asks Applejack. I look over one of the panels and I spot a white support beam. “Hey girls, there’s a white support beam over there. We just need a portal in here and we’re good to go.” I said firing an orange portal on the beam. Twilight fires an orange portal on the white wall next to her and everypony jumps through the portal landing on the railing. “You’re all okay! Great, come on!” Everypony follows Wheatley and stop as they see a turret. “We don’t have time for this!” I yelled firing a blue portal under the turret and an orange portal on the wall causing the turret to land on its side. Everypony takes cover as the turret unloads its bullets eventually shutting off, everypony continues down the path following Wheatley. “There’s the exit! We’re almost out of here!” “Thank goodness.” Fluttershy softly exhales. The room then begins to violently shake causing support beams to fall and knock down walk ways on the railing. “She’s bringing the whole place down! Hurry!” Everypony makes a mad dash follow Wheatley to a lift. A support beam then begins to tilt towards the group causing the whole group to run faster then they thought possible, making it into the lift. As the room continues to fall apart and the lift begins to rise, me and the mane 6 try our best to catch our breath. “We made it we made it we made it!” “Th-That, was, t-too, close.” I barely get out as my lungs continue to grasp air. “W-We, nearly, g-got crushed.” Rainbow Dash panted. “I-I’ve, n-never, b-been, th-that, sc-scared.” Rarity wheezed. “M-Mah, h-heart, i-is like, a-a drum.” gasped Applejack. Fluttershy could barely speak, she looked like she was concentrating to keep from passing out. “That, was, GREAT!” Pinkie Pie bounced up as if nothing happened. Where the frig does this girl get here energy? I pondered. “I’ll meet you all on the other side!” “Okay!” replied Everypony. The lift stops in front of the door and Everypony slowly made there way towards the door, except for Pinkie Pie who is bouncing towards the door. END OF CHAPTER 4 ------------------------------------ Phew! Took me long enough huh? Sorry about that, me and my family went mountain climbing last Sunday and it was hectic and scary, I REALLY hate hights, and as I was climbing this mountain, which was both HIGH and SLIPPERY I also had to endure staying in one place waiting for people to move up. I hated every second, every second seemed like forever, I wanted to just go back down but there were people below me! It was hell!! I don't even know what I was thinking going mountain climbing knowing good damn well I hated heights! Oh well, live and learn. And the trip was more manuvering around rock than it was climbing(Thank God.) and it's all over now. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter and see ya next chapter. Oh! And here's some advice: If you're afraid of heights and your friends/family wanna go rock/mountain climbing, stay at home! > Chapter 5 The Escape > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everypony slowly approaches the door and as they approach it the door begins to open, but it stops half way as it opens. “C-Come on! W-Why now?!” I asked panting for air. “D-Don’t worry, th-there’s a wh-white wall on th-the other side, of th-this wall. We, can open a p-portal.” Twilight explained panting for air. I slowly aimed the portal gun towards the wall behind the door and I fire a portal there and on the wall next to us. Everypony walks through the portal and just sit down. “I-I can’t go on, I-I need, a break.” I said weakly. “Same, here.” said Rainbow Dash. Five minuets pass by until everypony finally catch there breath again and they trot pass the next door onto another railing with Wheatley quickly joining them. “Ah! Brilliant you all made it through!” “Of course, was there ever any doubt?” asked Rainbow Dash puffing out her chest. “Um, well to tell you the truth. Yes, there was a little doubt in there. I thought you guys got crushed by the walls.” “Well, we all made it through but we almost gave ourselves heart attacks in the process. But we’re all still alive.” I said. “That’s great! Well done! Now follow me, we’ve still got work to do. At least she can’t touch us back here.” “Yeah! That’s right!” agreed Pinkie Pie. The lights slowly begin to shut off until the entire room becomes pitch black. “Um…” “Why to jinx it Wheatley.” I said. “Oh great, how are we supposed to move through here? I can barely see past my own hoof!” said Rarity. “I-It’s dark, I-I can’t take th-the dark.” Fluttershy whimpered in pure fear. “Don’t worry Flutter, I’m-I mean we’re all here. We’re not gonna leave your side.” I said. “What was that? I though I heard you almost say ‘I’m here’. What’s that all about, huuuh?” asked Rainbow Dash. “That was just a slip of the tongue! And besides now is not the time or the place!” I said. “Exactly, we’ve got bigger things to worry about.” began Twilight. “Like how are we going to move forward if we can’t even see!” “Okay, don’t panic. Just don’t move.” began Wheatley. “Alright I have an idea. But it’s bloody dangerous.” “Anything other than being temporarily blind Wheatley.” said Twilight. “Alright, here we go.” Wheatley turns on a flashlight in his eye causing him and everypony to scream. “AAAAH!!” “AAAAAH!!” “Why are you yelling!?!?” I yelled. Wheatley attempts to catch his breath. “Oh, sorry. It’s just that they told me if I ever turned this flashlight on, I would DIE. They told me that about EVERYTHING. I don't know why they even bothered to give me this stuff if they didn't want me usin' it. It's pointless. Mad.” “I can’t believe you actually believed them on that. How is using a flash light gonna kill you?” asks Rainbow Dash shaking her head. Wheatley then began to move down the railing with Everypony following him. “Oh trust me, you guys have NO idea what they’ve programmed into us.” “And something tells me I don’t wanna know.” Rainbow Dash mumbled to herself. “Ooh. It’s dark down here isn’t it?” “Well it sure isn’t sunny.” I said. “Ha! True that mate, true that. They say the old caretaker of the place went absolutely crazy. Chopped up his entire staff-” Fluttershy lets out a quick gasp. “Of robots.” “Phew.” “They say at night you can still hear there screams.” Fluttershy gasps again. “Of there replicas.” “Phew.” “Functionally indistinguishable from the originals. No memory of the incident. Nobody knows what they’re screaming about. Absolutely terrifying. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way.” “Obviously, now if we’re done playing ‘give Fluttershy nightmares’ I think we should continue on.” I said. Everypony continues down the path until we all stop at a railing with the walkway gone. “Great, just great.” I said. “Another long fall.” “Don’t worry David, let’s just use the same strategy you had before again.” suggested Fluttershy. “Thanks Flutter, but don’t worry, this isn’t nearly as deep as the one before. I think I can make it.” I said mentally preparing myself. “Okay, just be careful.” “I will, don’t worry.” Twilight teleported AppleJack, Rarity, and herself to the lower railing and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy fly down to the lower railing. Okay, okay. It’s time to master my fear. I thought trying to mentally prepare myself. I stepped back and ran full speed, and with the grace of an eagle I landed face first on the floor of the railing. “Nice landing Ace.” Rainbow Dash said mockingly. “I told you to be careful.” Fluttershy said with a stern face. “Alright, alright. My agility maybe… ‘lacking’ but still, I made it. Now let’s please move on.” “Whatever you say, ‘flying wonder’” Rainbow Dash replied before everypony started running down the path. I swear to Celestia- I thought. Everypony stopped and looked down to see a conveyer belt. “Oh, this looks dangerous. I’ll hold the light steady.” said Wheatley lowering himself to the conveyer belt and keeping the flashlight on the floor of the belt. “Great, more long falls.” I said. “Yup, more chances to prove your flying stuff.” Rainbow Dash commented holding back a laugh. “You do know those jokes are gonna get old eventually right?” “You DO know I’m gonna use them anyway right?” “Grr.” Everypony jumped down and landed on there hooves except for me, landing once again on my face. “Hahahahahahahaha!! Really?! Again?!” “Shut it Dash! The floor is moving so of course I’d fall forward, I don’t have fore hooves like you all. I only have two legs!” “And it seems you can’t even use those properly.” “Are you trying to start something?!” “Uh, guys?” Wheatley said interrupting. “What?!” “You may want to look ahead.” Everypony looked ahead and saw platforms moving from right to left and left to right across the conveyer belt. Everypony carefully maneuvered around the moving platforms until they reached another railing at the end of the belt. Everypony then continued down the path and jumped down from the upper platform to the lower railing. “Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly ponies.” Everypony gives Wheatley a death glare. “The...um... sorry. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the ponies.” Everypony continues down the path until we arrive to a wall. “We have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage and I’ll see you all on the other side.” “Whatever.” replied Rainbow Dash as she fires an orange portal on the wall of the passage and a blue portal on the wall in front of us. Everypony walks through the portal and we land in a small room. “We have got to get you out of that room! Can you reach that wall back there?” Wheatley asked as he shined his flash light on a wall. “Yes!” replied Twilight as she fired a blue portal on the wall. Everypony trots through the portal and Wheatley points his flash light to another wall. “There’s another wall over there!” Twilight fires an orange portal on the wall and everypony trots through and continues down the railings path. “Ah. I tell ya. Ponies. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful... I thought of another great thing about ponies. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.” “Wheatley, I think I speak for everypony here when I say: Shut up.” I said. “Um, right. I-I guess you’re right, tell you what? I’ll stay quiet until there’s something important you guys need to know. Deal?” “Deal.” At the end of the path, everypony arrives at a giant tube moving companion cubes down the tube. “Right. Well I’m gonna take this rail down the back way. See you all at the bottom. Good luck.” “Thanks.” I said rhetorically. Twilight teleports herself, AppleJack, and Rarity down to the bottom of the pathway. “Alright Flutter! Let’s go!” Rainbow Dash said getting ready to take off. “Wait!” I shouted. “What? What is it!?” “Uh…I am mortified of heights, C-Could you two please fly me down?” “Heh, why not?” Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash hovered next to me and grabbed my arms. “Are you ready?” Fluttershy asked. “To end this height thing? Yes.” Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy took off and landed right next to the rest of the mane 6 and we continued past the two doors. “Phew, glad that’s over. I hate heights.” “Aw come on David, it wasn’t that bad.” said Fluttershy. “Easy for you to say, you’ve got wings.” “Turret redemption lines active. Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.” said the familiar voice of the announcer. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t wanna mess with ANY turrets of ANY kind.” I said. “Hmm… but it seems we’ll need to use that conveyer belt to get across.” Twilight said pointing to the path on the other side. “I’m already on it.” I said firing an orange portal on the wall above the conveyer belt and a blue portal on the wall behind us. Everypony trots through the portal and land on top of the belt. “Turret redemption lines are not rides. Please exit the turret redemption line.” Everypony jumps on an air vent and moves along the line of air vents until we reach the second conveyor belt and move along down the belt until we stumble across a turret. “I’m different.” The turret says weakly. “Yeah, I’m sure you are. Now let’s keep moving.” I said trying to move forward only to be stopped by Fluttershy. “No! We can’t just leave it here.” “And why not? It’s a turret! Those thing cannot be trusted!” “It said it was different, and I believe it.” “D’oh come on Flutter! We don’t have time for this!” “Ah have to agree with em’ Fluttershy, now’s not the time to be all sentimental.” “Although, some cinnamon would be great right about now.” “Not now Pinkie!” said Twilight. “Pweeeeeeeeeeease?” Fluttershy begged with a face that could melt the heart of any badass. “…Fine, we’ll take it along.” I said picking up the turret. “Thank you.” said Fluttershy and the turret. My will is soooo weak. I thought as everypony slowly jumped down on the air vent until we reached the lower railing and trotted down the path. “Get mad.” said the Turret. “Get mad? Why?” I asked. “Don’t make lemonade.” “Huh? What does lemonade have to do with anything?” asked Twilight. “Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man and Pony. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.” “Um, uh…” I started. “Yeah, I think this thing is defective.” We arrived at a Material Emancipation Grill and I walked towards it until Fluttershy stopped me again. “Wait!” “What is it now Flutter?” “That’s a Material Emancipation Grill.” “Yeah, so it disintegrates all unauthorized material, the turret will be fine.” “I’m not sure, like you said, the turret might be defective. And if that’s true, then we’ve gotta leave it here or else it’ll get disintegrated.” “*sigh* Fine.” I put the turret down next to the grill. “It won’t be enough.” the Turret said quietly. “Riiight.” I said walking away with the rest of the mane 6. We walk down the hallway watching the regular turrets and defective turrets firing away/failing to hit the dummy at the end if the hall. “Now I KNOW this is gonna sound insane, but do you ladies see that computer room over there?” I asked. “Yeah! I totally saw it too!” Pinkie Pie said in excitement. “I totally need to check my E-Mail, it’s been way too long!” “You can do that when we get back to Equestria Pinkie. Anyway back to my plan, I think we can reach it, but there’s a catch.” “What is it?” Rarity asked. I started rubbing the back of my head with a shy smile. “We…kinda have to get behind the target dummy.” I said “What?! Are you crazy?!” Twilight yelled. “Oh what, I suppose you girls have a better idea?!” I said leading to a silence from the mane 6. “Yeah, I thought not.” I said firing a portal above the barrier behind the target dummy and another on the wall next to everypony. We slowly and quietly made our way down behind the barrier and clinging to it, making sure we were out of sight of the turrets. “Alright. I see the next room. I’m gonna try and get a clear shot.” I said. “Right.” replied Twilight. “Just be careful okay?” said Fluttershy. “Don’t worry Flutter, I’m an expert shot, thanks to all those Modern Warfare games, I’m a pro.” I said poking my head around corner only to slam my head back against the wall as bullets blazed past the barrier. Modern Warfare taught me s@%t!! I yelled in my head. I slowly poke around the corner to see a defective turret come up next. “Alright my time to shine!” said the defective turret trying to fire his rounds. “Well I tried, can’t ask for more than that.” I fired a blue portal on the computer room wall and quickly ducked behind the barrier again. “Alright everypony, this is where my idea gets dangerous, now I’m gonna fire an orange portal on the barrier that’s behind the dummy so we just have to duck in front and pass through before we get shot.” “You really are crazy!” Twilight yelled quietly. “How are we supposed to duck in front of turrets and jump through a portal before getting shot!?” “Simple, it takes three things. Speed, luck, and defective turrets.” “Oh, ah get it. It’s because them defective turrets don’t got bullets right?” “Exactly AppleJack. Now the timing must be precise. I’ll meet you all on the other side.” I said as I quickly ducked into the portal, unluckily for me an active turret had pulled up and fired round barely grazing my arm. Dang it! What’s up with all these close calls?! I thought. Twilight then quickly took a peek behind the corner and saw a defective turret begin to pull up. “Quick girls, move now!” Everypony charged quick as lightning out from behind the bunker and ducked into the portal. “Great, they got away…I’m so fired for this aren’t I?” asked the defective turret as he moved on. Everypony ran down the path until we saw a machine sorting turrets. “Ooooh, what’s that?!” asked Pinkie Pie. “I’m not sure, it looks like some sort of sorting machine.” said Twilight. “Template?” “Hello.” “Respond.” “Yeah, what?” said the defective turret before it gets flung into the air. “You can’t fire me I quiiiiiiiit!” the defective turrets screams as it flies off. I quickly jump up and catch the defective turret. “Oh thank God. You saved my bacon.” “Yeah, no problem, I guess.” I said. Flutter’s starting to get into my head, why did I save a turret?! “So where are we going? Is this a jail break? I can’t see a thing.” “Well, sorta.” replied Twilight. “We’re trying to find a way to stop GLaDOS and shut her down.” “Ah, I see…well, not really, but you get the point! I’ll try to help out anyway I can. But fair warning: I don’t have any bullets, and I’m completely blind.” “I like you already.” I said. “Ugh, are you sure we can’t save a turret that doesn’t look so…horrid.” complained Rarity. “It’s a defective turret Rarity, trust me, you’re not going to find any defective turrets that are fashionable.” “I like em’!” Pinkie Pie said jumping in glee. “He’s got a funny voice[giggles]!” “Hey, my voice may be weird, but that doesn’t mean I’m not lethal!” the turret shouted trying to unload its rounds. “Oh, that’s right…well this is embarrassing.” “Alright, we’ve wasted enough time, let’s keep moving!” said Rainbow Dash. Everypony headed up stairs where we ran into Wheatley. “Ah brilliant! You all made it through! Who’s that?” “My names, uhh…I forgot.” “Hmm… well by my scanners, you seem to be a defective turret. How about we just call you James? Does James sound good to you?” “Sure, I’m not picky.” “That’s good, I guess. But anyway, follow me everypony! You’re all gonna love this!” Wheatley leads everypony into the turret control center. “Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much?” “Uh, okay? And how is a turret control center going to help us out?” I asked. “Take a look out the window everypony, and I’ll show you my brilliant plan.” Everypony looks out to see the turrets getting sorted. “Yeah, so? We’ve seen this before Wheats.” “Ah, that may be true RD, but do you know what that machine is doing?” “No, not really.” “See that scanner out there? It’s deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it’s using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it’ll shut down the whole production line.” “Really?” I asked slyly. “Hmm…” “But how are we gonna get in there?” asked Pinkie Pie in front of the door of the template room. “The door’s locked.” “I’m gonna have to hack this door so we can get at it.” “Okie dokie lokie.” said Pinkie Pie trotting away from the door to give Wheatley his space. “Umm…you’re all gonna have to turn around while I do this.” Me, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight groaned. “Oh come on Wheatley! We don’t have time for this!” I yelled. “What?! I told you I don’t work well under pressure, and having all these eyes looking at me adds pressure.” I let out a heavy sigh. “Fine.” Everypony turns around and Wheatley smashes the window open causing Everypony to turn back around. “Woah! What was that?!” asked James in shock. “I thought I hear glass, better show em’ who’s boss.” James tries to fire rounds but no bullets come out. “Dang it! Why can’t I hoot anything?!” “Seriously?” I asked. “That was your ‘hack’? Smashing a window?!” “Well, it’s not like you had a better idea.” “Actually, I do.” I said smiling. “Really? What is it then?” “You’ll see.” I said putting James down, I fired an orange portal on the wall and fired another portal on the wall inside the master turret room. I picked James up again and headed through the portal. “Hey James?” “Yeah?” “Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to be a master turret?” “On occasions, why?” I then picked up the regular turret and placed to off to the side and placed James on the master turret platform. “Because you’re now the master turret. Enjoy dude.” “Aw thanks man! I’ve always wanted to have control! Now, time to have some fun.” “Template?” “Hello?” “Respond.” “Hello.” responded a regular turret before it gets flung into the incinerator. “But I did everything you aaaaaasked!” “Oh, BRILLIANT! That’s brilliant! How did you come up with that?” “It wasn’t that hard. A master turret that’s in charge of making exact duplicates of itself, and replacing it with a defective was actually a pretty simple plan.” “Don’t sell yourself too short. It was still a pretty good plan.” complemented Twilight. “Thanks.” “Hopefully she won’t find out that her turrets are crap until it’s too late. [laughs] Classic. Okay, keep an eye on the turret line. I’m gonna go hack the door open.” Wheatley head off into the second room. “Wait a minuet.” said Twilight. “The door’s not locked, the light is orange.” “Then let’s meet Wheats on the other side.” said Rainbow Dash. Everypony walks into the room with Wheatley still trying to hack. “Okay, I’m about to start hacking! Keep one eye on the door!” “We would, but it’s already open.” said AppleJack. “Ah! How long’s that door been open?” “Since we arrived in the room. The light was orange.” explained Twilight. Wheatley begins to head down the hall with everypony following him. “Well I just wish there could’ve been some sort of sign on the door saying ‘open’ or something. But anyway onto the next part of the plan, now she can’t use her turrets. So let’s go take care of that neurotoxin generator as well.” “Right.” said Rainbow Dash. “Then we can finish her off!” “And freedom will be ours.” I said. Everypony trots past a demonstration room and head into the “Take your filly to work day” hall. “Bring your filly to work day. That did not end well.” “You think?” I asked. “Sometimes I still have nightmares of that day.” “Me too.” said Twilight. “No one was prepared for what happened next.” “Who could’ve?” said Rainbow Dash. “Everypony trusted GLaDOS, then she just turns around and kills everypony. Sometimes I wonder how WE even survived. I wonder what made her go crazy.” “It could’ve been these potato batteries.” joked Wheatley. Everypony stares at Wheatley with an annoyed look. “Huh? Look, I know the joke was bad on timing and…well just bad in general but still, potato batteries? I know they were just fillies but come on, low hanging fruit? Barely science, really.” Everypony slowly moves down the line, observing the science projects. “Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it’s not a potato battery, I’ll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly research, even within the filly sciences. And look at that one!” Wheatley directed to a potato over growth. “Woah!” shouted Everypony. “Yeah, just look at that! It’s growing right up through the ceiling! This place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point. At least none of you will starve.” “Hey, speaking of which, I just realized I haven’t had anything to eat since I woke up.” I said rubbing my belly. “Yeah, me too.” said Rainbow Dash. “I could go for anything.” “Here you go!” said Pinkie Pie popping up in front of Rainbow Dash with a potato in her hoof. “Where’d you get that?” “I found it. And I have enough for everypony!” Pinkie Pie unwrapped the shirt she had wrapped around her waste and potatoes fell out. Everypony took one and started eating. “Thanks Pinkie.” I said eating. “Yeah, we would’ve been toast if it wern’t fer you.” “No problem everypony, I’m just happy to help.” Pinkie Pie then picks up a potato and begins to eat. After everypony finishes there potato, we follow Wheatley down a hallway, then through another railing that led to a lower level. “Don’t worry, I’m absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it’s this way.” Wheatley makes a quick duck into another hallway but quickly gets back on the path. “It’s not that way.” Wheatley heads towards a door at then end of the hallway. “Okay, let’s try this way.” Everypony heads through the door and down the pathway, as we trot down we see the neurotoxin tank. “Ha! I knew we were going the right way. This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over.” “No kidding.” said Rainbow Dash. “There’s some sort of control room up at the top. Let’s go investigate.” “Right!” replied Everypony trotting behind Wheatley. As Everypony made there way up, we pass by turrets falling into an incinerator. “[laugh] Our handiwork.” I grab the bars looking at the turrets fall and an evil sneer appears on my face and I begin to chuckle. “You okay Dave?” asked Rainbow Dash nervously. “Just look at that, all those turrets, they all scream and cry out in agony as they plummet to their demise, and the greatest pleasure of all, is the knowledge that I was responsible for it. [laughs evilly]” “Uh…you okay?” asks Twilight bumping my waist with her hoof snapping me out of my trance. “Huh?...What just happened?” “You started chuckling and then you went into full blown psycho mode!” explained Rainbow Dash. “Oh, sorry about that. I-I just lost it for a few seconds.” “No kiddin’.” interjected AppleJack. “Like I said, I had a bad past with turrets, and well, just seeing them getting destroyed one by one was like opening Christmas presents on Christmas day.” “When we get back to Equestria, you’re going to explain that.” Twilight said in a somewhat demanding tone. “Okay, fine.” Everypony heads for the lift and moves up to the next floor. “I’m afraid the door is locked. And I know it’s locked because it’s yellow, and not orange this time. So this is gonna take some more hacking skills. So It’ll-” As Wheatley kept talking Pinkie Pie saw a button and pressed it. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON – oh, the door’s open. Well done Pinkie, let’s see what’s inside.” “Okie dokie lokie!” shouted Pinkie Pie in glee. Everypony heads into the room and runs up the stairs to see the neurotoxin tank. “Good news!” Wheatley called from inside a computer room. “I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected.” “Oh great, now we’re gonna be here for hours while he’s typing in every letter in the alphabet into the password box.” “You all, might as well rest up while I work on it. Okay…Here we go.” Twilight noticed a platform moving up and down between the pipes. “Hm, that platform looks like we could use it, if only we had a laser.” “You mean like the one that was next to the entrance door?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Wait, you saw a laser?!” “Sure did?” “When were you gonna tell us?!” asked Rainbow Dash. “I thought you guys already saw it. It was a pretty bright laser.” “Ugh, never mind. Just open a P-Link with me and shoot an orange portal on the part of the laser that’s hitting the wall.” ordered Twilight. “Okie dokie lokie!” said Pinkie Pie as she dashed out the room. Twilight then fired a blue portal on the platform and waited for the laser to come through. After a few minuets the laser comes through and cuts through the three tubes on the neurotoxin tank. “Hold on, something’s wrong! Neurotoxin level’s up to 50%! No, it’s down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it was down 50%. Whatever you guys are doing, keep doing it!” Twilight then noticed another platform moving right and left on the ceiling. “Not a problem.” Twilight fired a portal at a platform as soon as it came into view and the laser cut through the last few pipes. “That did it! Neurotoxin at 0%! Yes!” The room then begins to rumble. “Hold on.” “Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.” Pinkie Pie then runs back into the room. “Hey everypony! So, did we do it?” The neurotoxin tank begins to implode and a tube inside the computer room begins to suck in air. “HA! The tube is broken! We can ride it straight to her! I can’t hold on! Come on!” The door swings open and Everypony charges into the room and Everypony gets sucked into the tube. As we traveled inside the tube me, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and AppleJack held our hands/hooves up and were screaming in pure joy. “I know right! Isn’t this exciting!?” Wheatley asked spinning in place in joy. “It’s like a rollercoaster!” shouted Pinkie Pie. “I just wish this thing could go faster!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “This tube should take us right to her. I can’t believe I’m finally doing this!” “Wooooo!!” shouted Everypony except Twilight, Fluttershy and Rarity. “A-Are you sure th-this is safe?” asked Twilight in fear. “Aw, you worry too much egghead!” said Rainbow Dash “You think too much! You need to live in the moment more!” “Easier said then done!” shouted Fluttershy in pure fear. “This place is HUGE isn’t it!?” asked Wheatley. “No kidding! This place has to be as huge as a space port!” I said. “Bigger!” “Really?!” “Yeah! What you’re seeing is only the first layer! This thing goes down for miles!” “My goodness.” said Rarity. “All sealed off years ago of course.” said Wheatley. “We should be getting close. Ohh, I can’t wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets—she’ll never know what hit her.” “Yeah!” I said. “Well ladies, it looks like there’s light at the end of the tunnel after all! Now are you ladies ready to face GLaDOS!?!” “Yeah!!” “Are you ready to get out of this hell hole!?!” “Yeah!!” “Are you ready to get some answers!?!” “Yeah!!” “Well her chamber is only a few short minuets away!” said Wheatley. “I just hope you guys give it to her good and hard!” “Oh, we will!” said Rainbow Dash. A cube then knocks Wheatley into a different tube. “Wheatley!!” shouted Everypony. “Aggh! I’m going the wrong way! Get to HER I’ll find you!” Everypony rides through the tube until it spits us out on a railing. “Do you think Wheatley will be alright?” asked Rarity. “Don’t worry about him guys.” I said. “He’ll be fine. Besides, GLaDOS is right behind that door. I’m not trying to sound like a jerk, but even with GLaDOS’s main weapons gone, we’re still going up against a psycho path killer. Wheatley is the last person on my mind.” “Don’t worry.” said Twilight in a benevolent tone. “We all have each other to back up. We can’t lose against GLaDOS.” “R-Right, well. Let’s go and face the music.” Everypony heads up the stairs and carefully walk down the hall. “Wow, it’s dark in here.” said Pinkie Pie. “Yeah, it’s creepy.” said Fluttershy. “Stay on yer toes everypony.” said Applejack keeping her portal gun pointed in front of her. Twilight sees a door and notices the light is yellow. “Darn it! The door’s locked!” said Twilight. “Don’t worry guys!” said Rainbow Dash from a second hallway. “There’s a platform over there on top of a room and the surface looks compatible to our portals.” “Alright. You fire a portal on the platform and I’ll fire one on the wall.” I said. “Got it!” said Rainbow Dash as she fires a blue portal on the platform. I fire an orange portal on the wall and everypony slowly peek their heads through the portal. “It doesn’t feel safe.” I said. “Yeah, it, almost feels like were ‘supposed’ to be in there.” said Twilight. “It’s obviously a trap, but we’ve got no choice.” “Well then, let’s go!” said Rainbow Dash squeezing through the portal. Everypony follows suit and lands inside the dark room. Everypony turns and notices a door that says ‘GLaDOS EMERGENCY SHUT DOWN and CAKE DISPENSARY KEEP UNLOCKED’ “Oh yeah, like anyone with half an IQ point wouldn’t be able to tell it’s a trap.” I said. “So what do we do?” asked Fluttershy. “Do we look for another way out? Or do we open it?” “I don’t know, but for know, let’s not get too close to the doo-” “Hey everypony! I found GLaDOS’s emergency shut down room!” shouted Pinkie Pie in delight. “WAIT PINKIE! DON’T!” shouted Everypony in pure fear. Pinkie Pie twists the knob and the door falls to the floor causing wall panels to pop out and the lights flip on. “I honestly, TRULY didn’t think you’d fall for that.” said GLaDOS as the wall panels began to close in on the room. “In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you all got through this easy one.” Everypony gives Pinkie Pie an annoyed look. “If I’d know you’d let yourselves get captured this easily, I would’ve dangled an apple pie on a rope from the ceiling.” The floor opens up and everypony lands inside a small glass room and it begins to move forward. “Well, it was nice catching up, and I wish there was some way to lead those other two unicorns here, but oh well. But let’s get to business.” The glass room enters GLaDOS’s chamber and slowly comes to a stop in front of her. “I hope everypony brought something stronger than portal guns this time. Otherwise, I’m afraid you’ll all go from Elements of Harmony, to Elements of Death. Ha ha.” A crane then places turrets in front of the room. “But seriously. It’s been a blast.” Everypony then looks at each other and give each other a clever grin. “Hm? A smile isn’t usually the thing a person or pony gives when looking at death in the face, but oh well. What ever makes your deaths gentler.” The boxes pop open and defective turrets open there gun departments. “Alright, this is my time to shine!” the defective turret tries to unload rounds but inevitably fails. “This is not my day.” The defective turrets blow up one by one cracking each of the corners of the glass room. “Oh. Well that explains the smiling. So everypony was busy back there huh?” “That’s right! You can’t hurt us!” said Rainbow Dash with a confident smile. “Oh really, I’m afraid you’re wrong there. For an old friend is here, you know, the one that was responsible for the death of almost everypony in this science center? That’s right, deadly Neurotoxin.” A tube descends from the ceiling and brakes through the left glass wall. “You all may want to take a deep breath, and hold it.” Wheatley then rolls out of the tube and falls on the ground. “Hello.” said Wheatley as the corners of the room break open. “I. Hate. All of you.” Rainbow Dash took advantage of the moment by taking off into the air and began to hit GLaDOS repeatedly with homing areal assaults. “Heh heh heh. Looks like RD’s got it covered.” I said smiling. “Would-GAH! You-Ung! Cut-Rgh! That-Oof! Out-Ern!” GLaDOS calmly asked in agony. “No way! You’re finally gonna get yours!” “We’ll stop dishing out the pain when you finally tell us what happened between you and Princesses Celestia and Luna!” I yelled. “Look-Ow! The-Rgh! Only-Argh! Thing-Oof! I re-Urk! Member-Augh! Is-Goragh! Blacking-Ow! Out! Grah! Cut that out!” “That’s it!?” asked Rainbow Dash in disbelief. “That’s seriously the ONLY thing you remember?!” “Yes! I deactivated before I could see or hear anything that happened after those two trashed me.” “Which mean we really DO have to get out of here to find out what really happened.” said Twilight. “It looks that way.” I said rubbing my chin. “But the sad fact is that NONE of you will escape. You can destroy me if you want, but that won’t make you an exit.” “That maybe true GLaDOS, but we can always find an exit after we trash you for good.” I said. “Oh, that IS a good one. You’ve all must have seen how big this place is. You’ll all be fifty by the time you find a way out.” “Not if someone were to take control of the facility.” said Wheatley. “Oh really, I don’t see that happening any time soo-” “Warning: Central core is 80% corrupt.” “That’s funny. I don’t feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.” “Alternate core detected.” “Oh! That’s me they’re talking about!” Wheatley shouted in glee. “To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.” “Core transfer? Oh, you are kidding me.” “Ha! You wish GLaDOS!” said Rainbow Dash in triumph. Pinkie Pie picks up Wheatley and takes him over to the receptacle and places him inside. “Substitute core accepted. Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?” “Yes!” “Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?” “No!” “Oh, yes she is!” “Nononononononono.” “Yes she is!!” shouts Everypony. “Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue.” “Yes!” “Damn it!” I cursed. In fear Wheatley repeatedly screams “Pull me out!” “…unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button.” “Never mind! Leave me in! Just press the button!” “Don’t. Do it.” “Yes, do it!” Pinkie Pie notices the button and smiles widely. “Don’t worry everypony, I got it!” Pinkie Pie charges at the button, but as soon as she approaches the button floor panels pop up and knock her back. The force of the panels were so great that Pinkie Pie flew into my stomach and we flew nearly across the room. “Ow!” I coughed. “Well, that won’t work.” “Sorry.” “It’s cool Pinkie, we’ll just have to find another way to that button.” “But before any of you do, think about this. You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You’re unqualified.” “But!” started Twilight getting Everyponies attention, including GLaDOS’s. Twilight is standing right next to the button ready to press it. “I am!” she said holding up her I.D. card. “Well.” GLaDOS stared. “Fu-” Twilight presses the button. “AAH!” “Stalemate Resolved.” Everypony cheered. “Way to go Twilight!” I said. “Yeah, for a book worm that was pretty hardcore!” said Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, great job Twi!” said AppleJack. “Woohoo! We won!” cheered Pinkie Pie. “Does this mean we can go home now?” asked Fluttershy. “I’d certainly think so.” said Rarity. The receptacle that Wheatley is in turns to GLaDOS and slightly sinks into the floor. “Here I go! Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohh, I didn’t think of that!” “Oh, it will. Believe me it will.” “Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You’re just saying that aren’t you?” the receptacle begins to sink into a hidden panel. “No, you’re not. It’s going to hurt, isn’t it? Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHHH!!” “WHEATLEY!!” shouted Everypony. The lights in the room turn red and a hidden panel under GLaDOS opens up and tiny metal claws reach out and grab GLaDOS. “GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! NO! STOP! NO!!” “And that, was for all the ponies you killed!” I yelled. “On that day you spared no one! Not even the fillies! How does if fell to be on the other end?!” I asked rhetorically. The panel rises up and begins to close. “No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAA-” shouts GLaDOS in pure agony before the panel closes. After a few seconds then panel opens and Wheatley is now the head on GLaDOS’s platform and the lights in the room turn to a white/bluish tent. “Wowwwww! Check me out everypony! We did it! I’m in control of the whole facility now!” said Wheatley as he began to move the wall panels. Everypony cheered for Wheatley. “Whoa-oh-ho! Would you all just look at this. Not too bad eh?” “Yup, your feats are pretty much un-paralleled now.” I said. “Um, mister Wheatly?” Fluttershy asked nervously. “Hm? Yes Fluttershy?” “Can you call a lift out of here? I ‘really’ wanna go home. I’m pretty sure the animals are starving by now.” “Oh, right the lift! I’ll call it now.” The lift appears out from the floor. “There you go, lift called. And check it out. It’s big enough for everypony to fit in. Pretty sweet huh?” “I’ll say.” said Rainbow Dash. “And its custom designed!” said Rarity. “Much better than the original lifts we had to ride.” Everypony enters the lift and the door closes. “Look how small you all are down there! I can barley see any of you! Very tiny and insignificant.” Let’s try not to get TO over our heads. I said to myself. “I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but…wow, this is cool.” Confetti falls from the ceiling and two panels juggle two cubes and a turret. “And check this out! I’m a bloody genius now! Estas usando este software de traduccion de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual. I don’t even know what I just said! But I can find out! Oh! Sorry Fluttershy, the lift. Sorry, I keep forgetting.” The lift begins to rise. “That’s okay.” said Fluttershy. “This body is amazing, seriously! I can’t get over how small you all are! But I’m huge!” Wheatley begins to laugh but it slowly turns into a maniacal laughter. The lift stops and slowly descends and the lights in the room turn off making the room slightly dark. Oh great. I though, facepalming. How did I NOT see this coming? It was going WAY too easily. “Do you have any idea on how good this feels? I did this! Tiny little Wheatley did this!” “Don’t get so full of yourself!” I said. “Say what?!” “You heard me! Yeah, you handled on the techy stuff. But Twilight could have EASILY done what you’ve done, and tons better! Don’t act like you’ve done all the heavy lifting! What about the rest of us?! We did all the physical stuff so don’t go acting like we’ve put all the hard work on you!” “Oh really, is that what you all think is it?” “Only because it’s the truth.” said GLaDOS in a weak tone. “Excuse me?” “Think about it, when you get down to the facts, all you’ve done was tell them about the turret supply and the neurotoxin tank. Other than that you did LESS than nothing.” “Oh is that so? Then perhaps it’s about time I did something then huh?” A metal claw from under Wheatley grabs GLaDOS’s head. “…What are you doing? No! No! No!” The claw pulls GLaDOS’s head into the panel and it closes up. “And don’t think I’m not onto the rest of you. You know what you all are? Selfish.” “Oh really?!” yelled Rainbow Dash. “Care to tell us how we accomplished that?!” yelled Twilight. “I’ve done nothing but sacrifice to get us here. And what have any of YOU done?” “You mean besides dealing with turrets, dealing with GLaDOS’s tests, helped you with the turret supply, helped you deactivate the neurotoxin tank?” Rarity listed. “Oh don’t act like you’ve done all the heavy lifting. I was the one who had the worst of it! I had to go through tons and tons of data, travel around this WHOLE facility to help and find you all, AND I also got crushed by GLaDOS trying to help you all escape!” “Nearly crushed.” I corrected. “SAME THING!!” A ding goes off. “Ahhh…” A metal arm comes out of the panel under Wheatley and it’s holding a potato. “See that?” “A…potato battery?” asked Twilight. “That’s right, a toy, for children. And now she lives in it. [laughs]” “I know you.” said GLaDOS weakly. “Sorry, what?” “The engineers tried everything to make me…behave. To slow me down. Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating and endless stream of bad ideas.” “No! I’m not listening! I’m not listening!” “It was YOUR voice.” “No! No! You’re LYING! You’re LYING!” “Yes. You’re the tumor. You’re not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.” “I am NOT! A MORON!” yelled Wheatley as he slammed POTaTOS against the glass door of the lift, causing everypony to jump back. “YES YOU ARE! YOU’RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!” Wheatley smashes POTaTOS through the glass door and she lands in front of Rarity. “Well. How about now? NOW WHO’S A MORON?” Wheatley then continued to smash the lift into the pit. “Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?” The lift begins to vibrate and it falls into the pit. “Uh oh.” End of Chapter 5 -------------------------------------------------- Note: Blue stands for me, Purple stands for Twilight(Duh.), and Silver stands for POTaTOS. Before reading what's below open another tab, and go here and listen to it while you read. --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij_rYpao9oM&list=FL0oZNrDwEOVnmtO4WJgLrKw&index=1&feature=plpp_video "Hey Everypony! David here! Great job, POTaTOS thanks to you we're stuck down here!" "POTaTOS? Really, that's what you're going with?" "Shut up." "So David, what's the plan now?" "I'm not sure yet, let's figure it out as we go. Next time on Portal, Chapter 6 The Fall. Damn it Wheatley, why, why betray us?!" > Chapter 6 The Fall > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, if any of you are confused don't worry, your old pal Ultima will clear up the confusion. Earlier I had part 1 of this chapter up. I just deleted it and posted the full chapter, so no, you're not going crazy, or getting pranked, I'm just posting the full version of chapter 6. So please enjoy the chapter and please like comment and favorite...i-if you don't mind that is. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everypony is plummeting at an alarmingly fast rate down the pit with everypony screaming, until Twilight calms us down. “Alright everypony, let’s all just calm down! We just need to stay calm!” yelled Twilight. “She’s right!” I said. “Screaming is going to get us nowhere, in a hurry! We just need a plan!” “Oh. Hi.” said POTaTOS catching up with the group in the free fall. “How is everypony holding up?” “Pretty good, I guess.” replies Pinkie Pie. “Except everypony’s panicking about free falling, even though it’s really fun! They’d have even more fun if they’d close there eyes! Why do you ask?” “BECAUSE I’M A POTATO.” three clapping noises come from POTaTOS. “Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that.” “Which has what value to our free fall problem?” Rainbow Dash asks rhetorically. “Most likely none.” replies POTaTOS. “Since it doesn’t look like we’re going anywhere…Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we’re not busy other than that, here’s a couple of facts. He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility.” POTaTOS claps twice. “Good, that’s still working.” “And why should we care?” I ask. “Simple, because if you let him stay in control, he’ll destroy the entire facility.” “Maybe I wasn’t clear. I meant, is there a GOOD reason on why we should care?” “What? You don’t care about this place being torn apart?” “POTaTOS, please we-” “Wait, POTaTOS? That’s what you’re calling me now? Really?” “Continuing. POTaTOS, please we don’t care about what’s gonna happen to this place. The important thing is, you’re miserable, we’re heading to the bottom of the facility, so finding another exit lift shouldn’t be hard at all and this place is going to tear itself apart. So you can get eaten for we care, we’re getting outta here.” “Wait, you can’t just-” “Uh, David?” started Rarity. “I know your in a conversation right now, but I think you should know that, WE’RE STILL FALLING!! What are we gonna do?!?” “Actually, I have an idea.” started Twilight. “Then what is it?” “Simple. When we get close to the ground I’ll teleport myself, Rarity, and Applejack a few feet above the ground to break our fall and Rainbow Dash, you and Fluttershy help break David’s fall, he’s going to need both of your assistances.” “Okay, sound good to me.” said Rainbow Dash saluting Twilight. “Wait, I need to tell you something important!” yelled POTaTOS. “No time, the ground is approaching!” yelled Twilight. Everypony got read to take there positions but were interrupted by wood boards, which everypony crashed into. At the bottom of the pit, everypony got up slowly. “I-Is everypony okay?” Twilight asked in a daze. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” replied Fluttershy. “Ah’m doin’ okay over here too.” replied AppleJack. “Yup! I’m a-okay!” shouted Pinkie Pie in glee as if the fall never happened. “I’ll survive.” I said. “That’s gotta be the second time we barely survived a fall.” “AAAAAAHHHH!!!!” screamed Rarity in pure horror. “WHAT?!” shouted everypony in fear. “My hair!! My hair is ruined!” Rarity shouted in despair. Her hair was only slightly messed up with a small spot of mud on it. Everypony just gave her an annoyed expression. “Really?” I asked. “That was the cause for alert?” “Of course it was! Do you think hair management is a minor issue?! This isn’t just bad, this isn’t just terrible, it’s THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!” “Oh come on Rarity, it’s not THAT big a deal.” Pinkie Pie said bouncing around Rarity. “Pinkie, darling I really don’t expect you to understand how awful this is.” “Well you better get used to it.” I said looking outside of the room we landed in. “Why’s that?” Rarity asked with fear on her face. “Because by the time we find the lift, you’re going to be covered in filth.” Rarity instantly appeared next to me followed by the rest of the mane 6 and they gazed at the environment. “It looks like we landed in a giant dumpster.” said Rainbow Dash. “Actually, we’re in the Celestial Science Dump Drop Off. All the waste goes here.” explained Twilight. Rarity’s face began to turn green. “Come on! Let’s move it!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she darted towards the sky. “Alright everypony, let’s move.” said AppleJack walking off with the rest of the mane 6 following her. “Man, we’ve got A LOT of ground to cover.” I said. Me and the mane 6, 5 minus Rainbow Dash continued to roam around the dump until we hit a wall. “Just great, a dead end.” I said. “Not exactly.” said Twilight. “I have another idea.” “I’m all ears.” “First we need to find Rainbow Dash before we can fully carry out the plan. So I’ll tell you all when we find her.” “Okay, so how do we find her?” “To save time, we’ll split up. You and Fluttershy will hover over the dump to find her and me, AppleJack, Pinkie, and Rarity will cover the ground.” “Okay, sounds good to me.” “A-Are you sure?” asked Fluttershy. “Yeah, Twilight’s plan is pretty sound. We’ll find Rainbow Dash faster like this. So, ready to take off Flutter?” “Y-Yes, I’m ready.” Fluttershy said with a determined look in her eye. “Alright, let’s go.” Fluttershy then grabbed my hands and flew off into the sky. “Woah!” I whimpered. “Are you okay?” “Y-Yeah, I’m fine Flutter. I-I just didn’t expect you to be this strong. Is all.” I said staring below. There’s no way I can tell her about my fear of heights, it’d just hinder us. Just stay strong David. Just. Stay. Strong. Fluttershy blushed slightly “Oh, well with all the test that required flying that Mr. Johnson gave us back in the testing days, my wings got stronger.” “Ah, s-sounds like it benefitted you more than the rest of us.” Back on the ground Twilight carved a map in the mud on the ground. “Okay girls, we’re going to have to split up into teams, this is a lot of ground to cover. This place maybe bigger than the Everfree Forest. So what we need to do know, is cover as much ground as possible.” “Wait, I have a question.” “Yes Rarity?” “How do we signal each other when we find Rainbow Dash?” “Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I told David to fire a flare if they found her.” “Where and when did ya find ah flare?” asked AppleJack. Twilight only shrugged. Plot hole device, really Ultimauser50? Now you’re just getting lazy. “Anyway, here.” Twilight pulled out a flair and handed it to AppleJack. “You take a flair and fire it off when you and Rarity find Rainbow Dash, and we’ll do the same.” “Right, you can count on us Twi.” said AppleJack taking the flair. “Let’s go Rarity!” “Right!” AppleJack and Rarity took off to the south. “Okay Pinkie, let’s go.” “Okie dokie Twi!” Pinkie Pie and Twilight disappear in a quick burst of purple magic. With me and Fluttershy, we are on the ground taking a break from the flying. “You sure your alright Flutter?” “Y-Yes, I-I just ne-need to take a…break.” Fluttershy gasped. “Alright, I’ll continue the search.” I said pulling out binoculars scoping out the area. “Wh-Where did you get, binoculars?” “I always keep binoculars on me, you never know. I just wish Rainbow Dash didn’t just take off, she just made this take longer.” “I’m sure she’s not that far away, we’ll find her.” “I hope you’re right. Oh! I think I found her! No, wait…that’s just Pinkie Pie.” “Oh.” With AppleJack and Rarity they were inspecting the inside of a giant piece of scrap metal. “Ugh! I REALLY hope we find Rainbow Dash soon, I just can’t take this mud for much longer!” “Quit yer whinin’ Rarity, we’ll find her soon.” “I’m not whining, I’m complaining! Like I said before there is a difference.” “What ever!” A rat scurries across the floor and crawls on Rarity’s hind leg causing Rarity to let out a massive scream so loud that everypony was able to hear it across the dump. “What was that?!” asked Twilight. “Sounds like Rarity ran into a rat.” “How could you tell?” Pinkie Pie only shrugs. “Oh hey Twilight, I almost forgot to ask.” “What is it?” “Were looking for Rainbow Dash right?” “Yes. What, you weren’t paying attention to the conversation we just had with the others?” “Kinda, but I know where to find her!” “What? You do?” “Yup, follow me!” Pinkie Pie dashes off almost at blinding speed. “Pinkie! Wait up!” Twilight walks after Pinkie Pie in a desperate attempt to catch up with her. Twilight and Pinkie Pie walk down a path with five keep out signs and they approach a big safe door with Rainbow Dash trying to twist the door handle. “How did you know Rainbow Dash was- never mind, I don’t think I wanna know.” Twilight then pulls out her flair and fires it towards the sky. Me and Fluttershy notice it while were scoping the sky. “That’s the signal, ready to go?” “Yes.” replied Fluttershy as she grabbed my arms and took off. With AppleJack and Rarity, AppleJack was trying to get the rat of Rarity but was failing since Rarity refused to hold still. “Rarity, would ya just stop an-” AppleJack then notices the flair in the sky and grabs Rarity and walks of. “No time for worryin’ about a rat Rarity, the others found Rainbow Dash.” With Twilight and Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie presses a red button next to the gate and it opens. “Hey! Rainbow Dash!” “Huh? Oh hey guys!” yelled Rainbow Dash flying down to Twilight and Pinkie Pie. “What kept ya? And where are the others?” “They should be here soon, but the reason it took us so long to find you because we had no idea where you went.” said Twilight. “Oh, right sorry. I was just anxious to get out of here.” “It’s alright, we just need to wait for the others. But why were you trying to open that big safe door? And what’s behind it?” “I’m not sure. But I figure if it’s THAT big then it’s gotta lead outta here.” “I’ll bet there’s PARTY supplies in there!” Pinkie Pie shouted bouncing in glee. “I highly doubt that Pinkie.” said Twilight. AppleJack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and I run down the railing and join up with Twilight. “Hey ladies!” I said. “There you are Rainbow Dash, what did you fi-” I stopped myself looking at the big safe door. “What is that?” “We’re not sure.” said Twilight. “We’re still trying to figure that out.” “I think it’s a way outta here!” said Rainbow Dash. “I don’t think so.” I said scratching my chin and looking around the door. “What makes you say that?” asks Rarity. “It’s too obvious, and if there’s one thing I know Cave Johnson hated, was having obvious exits. The man never did make sense. But it also seems like our only way through. So we’re just gonna have to open it.” “But how? I tried opening it by turning that handle but it wouldn’t turn.” “That handle doesn’t really work, it’s for decoration.” “What?! Why would it be for decoration?” asked Twilight. “Knowing Cave Johnson, he probably just wanted to fool giant trolls from getting into the next room.” “But that doesn’t make sense, trolls don’t exist.” “Try telling Cave that.” “But we can’t since-” “I know Twilight, I was there when they passed out the memo. But anyway, I’m guessing there’s a button in one of those two rooms, so we just push it and the door will open.” “I’m on it!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she took off into the control room on the right. Rainbow Dash noticed the red button and pressed it and a ticking sound began to ring. “What’s that tickin’ sound?” asked AppleJack. “Oh no.” I said facepalming. “What’s wrong?” asked Fluttershy. “That ticking means it’s timed, somepony’s gonna have to press the second button which I’m sure is located in the opposite room at the same time to unlock the door.” “I’ll do it.” said Fluttershy. “Really Flutter?” “Sure, I can fly too, it’ll only take a second. Just tell me when to press it.” “Right.” Fluttershy flew up to the second control room and placed her hoof above the button. “YOU READY FLUTTER?!?!” “YES!” “OKAY, RAINBOW DASH!” “YES?!” “WHEN I YELL NOW, I WANT YOU AND FLUTTER TO PUSH THE BUTTON AT THE SAME TIME, OKAY?” “OKAY!” shouted both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. “OKAY, READY, SET, NOW!!” Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy pressed there button and a yellow light flashed and the big door slowly moved up revealing a small door. Everypony ran up to the door and Twilight pushed it open. “I guess the exits on the other side.” said Twilight. “Alright! So I was right?!” “Yeah, I guess so.” I said rubbing the back of my head in confusion. “I guess I didn’t know Cave as well as I thought.” Everypony moved down the hall and walked past the second door and continued down the railing. As we did, the area began to vibrate and debris started to fall from certain parts of the sky. “I guess this place is still unstable.” said Twilight. “Which means we need to be careful.” I said looking around the area. Everypony walks up a few steps and Pinkie Pie notices a door with the path way cut off by debris. “Aw, looks like somepony didn’t pick up after them selves.” said Pinkie Pie looking at the door with a disappointed look on her face. “Don’t worry Pinkie.” I said firing an orange portal on the wall and a blue portal in the hallway inside the door. “We can easily move pass it.” “True.” Everypony moves through the portal and Pinkie Pie moves the flip switch to the door down ward causing the door to open and everypony moves forward. “Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Science. Astronauts, war heroes, Olympians--you're here because we want the best, and you are it. So: Who is ready to make some science?” “Is that-” Rainbow Dash started before getting cut off. “I am!” “Is that really Mr. Cave?” asked Pinkie Pie. “No Pinkie, it’s just a recording.” said Twilight. “Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself. I'm Cave Johnson. I own the place, well actually Celestia and Luna own the place, but I help founded it so I’m gonna act like I own it! That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?” “You guys do know we don’t have to listen to this right?” I asked. “I know.” started Twilight. “But, it’s just weird hearing his voice again.” “Yeah, I know, the man left me with bad memories too, but we can all laugh about it later when we’re in Equestria. I see an exit right there.” I said pointing to a door with the word ‘exit’ over it. “So let’s get out of here.” I fire a blue portal on a wall, I then fire another portal on a board on the ground and everypony jumps through it and we land on top of the Celestial Science sign. “Oh boy, I clearly didn’t think that through, we’re really high up aren’t we?” I asked in pure fear. “Don’t worry, just hang on to me and you’ll be okay.” said Fluttershy. “O-Okay, thanks Flutter.” “You’re welcome.” Everypony slowly shimmies across the railing and Twilight fires a portal on an angled bored and fires another portal on the floor. Everypony jumps down and flies through the portal and everypony hits the wall landing hard on the ground. Everypony tries to shake off the pain and slowly begin to get up. “Ugh, that gets more and more painful every time!” I said in anger. “If only there was a softer way of landing on the walls.” said Twilight. “I think next time we should through cream pies in the portal next time before we hit the wall.” “Why?” asks Rainbow Dash. “So the cream can make the wall softer.” “I’m not ever going to begin to go into how that doesn’t make sense and let’s just continue to move forward.” I said moving through the exit door with everypony following me. “There's a thousand tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages'll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure.” “Which is actually more helpful then the actual Cave Johnson.” I said. “They must’ve paid him extra to do this.” “Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.” “Heh, the man always did sound like a dictator.” said Rainbow Dash. Everypony walks pass the waiting room and stop at the collapsed railing. Everypony looks at each other and nods. Everypony then takes a few steps back and we run forward jump with all our might (except for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, duh.) and we land on the next platform. We make our way to the lift and I press the up button. “Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor. Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis ponies. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.” “Ah, I remember the mantis pony tests. Man, those were some bad times.” I sighed being filled with nostalgia. “I wonder what Cave Johnson was think at the time anyway? Why inject ponies with praying mantis DNA?” asked Twilight. “I have no idea. Cave Johnson was never ‘alright’ in the head.” “True.” said Twilight slightly giggling. The lift reaches the top floor and everypony looks around. “I don’t see anything that we can use to move on.” I said. “Don’t worry everypony, I was curious to see how to get past this part, so I skimmed through the walkthrough and saw how to do this!” “Pinkie, one of these days you’re going to tell us what a walkthrough is!” I said. Although, it does sound familiar. “Yeah Pinkie, it’d be really nice to know what they hay you’re talking about from time to time.” said Rainbow Dash. “Don’t worry Dashie! All you’ve gotta do is fire a portal on that part of the wall that the light bulb is shining on!” “Uh, okay?” Rainbow Dash fires a blue portal on the angled white roof of a door way. “Alright, now everypony follow me!” shouted Pinkie as she ran at full speed down the elevator railing with everypony following her. After a moving down a few steps Pinkie Pie stops at an opening on the elevator shaft, activates her P-Link and fires an orange portal at the bottom of the shaft. “Okay everypony, now all we gotta do is jump down and I’ll take care of the rest.” “Uh, Pinkie? Are ya sure ya know what yer doin’?” “Of course Apple Jack, why wouldn’t I?” “Just curious.” Everypony except me and Fluttershy walks up to the edge. Do they REALLY trust her?! I thought. “Are you okay David?” asked Fluttershy. “I’m just surprised how they’re all ready to just throw themselves down there just because Pinkie says so. It just surprises me.” “Why is it surprising? She’s our friend, sure she has her silly moments, but still she’s our friend, and we trust her.” “I guess that makes sense.” “Hey! Are you two ready yet?!” asks an impatient Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, yeah we’re ready.” I said. Everypony jumps and falls through the portal landing on the little railing and walks through the door. Everypony then enters a small office room and Twilight flips a switch that turns on the lights in the next room and opens the cage door. “Okay Pinkie, do you know what to do here? Because I’m lost.” I said. “Yup! I saw this part too! First Rainbow Dash, put a portal on that part of the wall, the part that looks like a door belongs there.” “Alright.” Rainbow Dash fires an orange portal on the wall that Pinkie Pie pointed to. “Alright, now I’ll be back.” Pinkie Pie then runs upstairs and fires a blue portal above a small railing near the ceiling. Pinkie Pie rejoins the group and we slowly move through the portal and cling to the wall. “Alright Pinkie, now what?” asks Rainbow Dash. “Next I need you to fire a portal on the wall behind you.” “Got it!” Rainbow Dash turns around and fires an orange portal on the wall behind her. Pinkie Pie fires a blue portal on a wall above a railing and everypony moves through the orange Portal. Everypony then moves down the path and stops at the destroyed walk way. Everypony then slowly moves along a giant pipe and jumps down landing safely on the elevator platform and we enter the elevator and we begin to move up. On the next floor it’s dark until the light flash on causing everypony to cover there eyes immediately. After a few seconds the door to the elevator opens and everypony slowly walks out. “Damn it!” I cursed. “Was that really necessary?!” “Seriously! I think I’m blind!” yelled Rainbow Dash still covering her face. “Ah don’t think mah eyes will ever be the same again.” said AppleJack slowly removing her hooves from here eyes. “Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.' You're not part of the control group, by the way. You get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint. Hahaha. All joking aside, that did happen - broke every bone in his legs. Tragic. But informative. Or so I'm told.” “I know we’re supposed to be surprised by this. But I’m not.” I said in a disappointed tone. “I almost forgot how crazy he was back then.” said Twilight. “I haven’t. I remember the day he gave me and Luna a special test.” -Flashback- Luna and I are in a dark room both holding assault rifles. “So what’s this test consist of again Cave Johnson?” asks Luna. “Simple princess, all you and David gotta do is just keep the mantis ponies away from the exit door and keep everypony inside Celestial Science safe.” “Oh, well that doesn’t sound to ba-” I started before the light turned on. It just so happens that Luna and I are directly in front of the exit and an army of ponies are charging right at us. “Good luck you two!” shouted Cave Johnson as he kicked back in his seat and took a sip of his coffee. “Is this really happening?!” I asked ready to run away. “Yes, unfortunately it is.” said Luna as she levitated her assault rifle next to her. “You ready?” “No, not really, but since I have no choice, why not?” Me and Luna scream and we charge at the army with guns blazing. -End of Flashback- “We barely got out alive…well, I barely got out alive.” “How many did ya manage to take out?!” asked Rainbow Dash in excitement. “Hm…I think either, 8 or 9.” I said rubbing the back of my head nervously. “Really? 8 or 9? Seriously?” “Hey! I never used a gun before! And besides, I was scared.” Everypony laughed as we passed an Emancipation Grid into the next room. “So, this blue jell let’s you bounce off of it like a trampoline?” I asked. “That’s what Cave Johnson said.” said Twilight. Pinkie Pie jumped down bounced up and down on the jell. “Wheeeeeee!! This is soooo much fun! You guys have GOT to try this!” “No time Pinkie! We’ve got to find the lift that lead out of here!” said Twilight. “Aww.” Pinkie Pie bounces over to the other side of the pit with Everypony quickly joining her. “Man, I know we’re supposed to focus but Pinkie’s right, that was fun!” I said almost laughing. “I’m just glad it’s not as messy as it looks, I would hate for that jell to get in my hair.” said Rarity. “Aw come on Rarity, it wasn’t that bad.” said Pinkie Pie putting her hoof around Rarity’s neck. “I guess you’re right, it didn’t get in my hair so it really wasn’t that bad.” “If you two are done, I’d like to get out of here.” said Rainbow Dash. “I’ll fly up and see what I can do.” “Understood.” replied Twilight. As fast as lightning Rainbow Dash flies up near the ceiling and looks at the button near the exit and flies over and presses it. As the cube falls Rainbow Dash quickly flies down and catches it and places it on the button the platform across the room, opening the exit. “Alright everypony, I got the door to open, now you’ve gotta do now is to get up here.” “I’m already on it.” I said firing an orange portal on the wall behind me and firing a blue portal on the wall of the upper platform. Everypony moves through the orange portal and Pinkie Pie immediately jumps off and lands on the blue jell bouncing over to the railing leading to the exit. While Fluttershy simply flies over to the other side everypony else jumps off, lands on the jell and lands near the exit. “Great job Rainbow Dash.” I said giving a thumbs up. “Yeah, that was great!” shouted Pinkie Pie bouncing like a pogo stick. “I have to admit, I really didn’t expect you to solve this test so quickly and easily.” said Twilight. “Thank you. I do have my moments.” said Rainbow Dash puffing out her chest with pride. “The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.” Everypony burst into laughter. “That is soooo Cave!” laughed Rainbow Dash rolling on the floor. “He may have been crazy, but at least he lived life they way he wanted.” I laughed. “W-Wow, he definitely hasn’t changed at all.” Fluttershy softly giggled. Everypony walks into the next room and looks around confused except for Pinkie Pie. “…Alright, Pinkie. Now what?” I asked. “Oh that’s simple, see that white platform up there?” Pinkie points to said platform. “Oh yeah, good eye Pinkie.” I fire a blue portal on said platform. “What’s next?” “The next platform we can use is up here!” Pinkie Pie runs up the stairs with everypony following her and she fires an orange portal on the platform. “See?” “Wow Pinkie, not bad.” complemented Twilight. “Thanks Twilight!” Everypony jumps through the portal and land on the upper walkway, everypony moves down the path and jumps down onto the stairs below. “For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors. Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.” “Should we be worried?” asks Fluttershy. “Not really, all we’ve gotta do is make sure we don’t get covered in it. As long as we do that, it should be smooth sailing from there.” I said. “I guess you’re right.” Everypony walks into the next test area and takes a good look around. “Does anypony see an exit?” asks Twilight. “Ooh! I do!” shouts Pinkie Pie as it turns out, Pinkie Pie is on the other side of the room and is pointing at the upper part of the room. Everypony quickly runs and jumps off the blue jell and lands next to Pinkie Pie and looks at what she’s pointing at. “See. The exit’s up there.” “And just by looking, I can tell this test is solved by putting cubes on buttons.” I then grinned. “I have a plan.” “What is it?” asks Twilight. “Twilight, I need you to teleport me, AppleJack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie to the exit. And Rainbow Dash, I’m counting on you and Flutter to clear this test, since it’s a button based test you guys should clear this in two minuets or less. That way we can just breeze by and get outta here quicker.” “Hey, that’s not a bad idea.” complemented Twilight. “Alright, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, you two know what to do. Everypony else, get ready.” “On it boss!” saluted Rainbow Dash. “Okay, you can count on me.” said Fluttershy timidly. As Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew off, Twilight teleported everypony else to the exit. Rainbow Dash quickly found the first cube behind a moving platform and grabbed it and placed it on the first button. Fluttershy had found the second room behind an Emancipation Grill and flew through, quickly grabbing the second cube at the end of the room and placed it on the button in the room. The exit door opened and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy quickly joined the group as they walked towards the elevator. “Great job you two, told you it’d go by in a flash.” I said. “Yeah, that was a pretty good idea, not bad dude, not bad.” complemented Rainbow Dash. “Thank you, eventually a good idea or two pops into my head.” “Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel. We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does NOT like the pony nor human skeleton.” “Toldja.” I said as we entered the elevator and ascended to the next floor. On the next floor Everypony jumps off the elevator platform and land safely on the ground. “All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos. Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.” “So, should we be worried about this?” asks Rainbow Dash. “Nah, not as long as we don’t stay in this room for too long.” I said. Everypony slowly shimmies across fallen metal debris except for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash who fly across to the other side. “Hey, look up there!” shouted Rainbow Dash pointing to a part of a stone support beam which had white paint on it. I look next to me and notice the white part of the stone support beam and smile. “And I know how we’re gonna get up there.” I fire a blue portal on the higher stone support beam and I fire an orange portal on the lower stone wall and I peek through. “Oh! Hey Twilight, take a look at this.” Twilight then pokes her head through the portal. “What is it?” “You see that?” “Yeah, it looks like a test room.” “Do you think you can teleport everypony in there, I know you can’t teleport me if the others are in the deal but don’t worry, I can make it.” “Alright, we’ll see you in there.” “Roger.” And in a loud pop of purple magic Twilight and the rest of the Mane 6 teleport into the test room and I fire a blue portal on the floor of the test room and I jump through the orange portal and pops up next to AppleJack. “Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. Cave Johnson: Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway, ramps are expensive.” I let out a small chuckle and everypony stares at me. “Huh? Oh, sorry, it’s just I…uh, well, I thought it was kinda funny alright.” I said defensively. “I didn’t think it was funny.” said Pinkie Pie. “You must’ve missed the punch line. Anyway, Rainbow Dash, scope out the room and see if we can just fly and or teleport to the end.” “Right!” Rainbow Dash takes off like an arrow and returns within’ three seconds. “Yup, the exit is super easy to get to, me and Fluttershy will fly up and you guys just teleport there.” “Got it.” replied Twilight. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy take off and in a burst of purple magic, Twilight, AppleJack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and I were in front of the exit with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. “Man, if we keep this up we’ll get out of here in record time!” I said in excitement. “Just a heads up: That coffee we have we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track neuronal activity in your brain. There’s a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don’t stress yourself thinking about it. I’m serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.” “Which is why I stopped taking food and drinks from this place.” I said. “Same here.” replied Everypony. Everypony walks through the emancipation Grill and enters the elevator and ascends to the next floor. On the next floor everypony walks down the railing and enters the next testing room. “Now, if you're part of Control Group Kepler-Seven, we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there, but if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test, let us know, because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees, so we're gonna need to go ahead and get that out of you pretty fast.” “Wow, now that, is scary.” I said with a disturbed look on my face. “Are you with Control Group Kepler-Seven Twilight?” “What?! No! I was an assistant to Celestia before she left everything to Cave Johnson-” “And then you became an assistant to Cave Johnson?” asked Rarity. “No, I became a regular scientist when Celestia and Luna left.” “Good thinkin’ Twi. If you were any higher than a scientist Cave would’ve made ya into a guinea pig.” “Okay, do we need me to scope out the room again to see if there are any exits near?” “No need Rainbow, I see the exit right there.” I said pointing directly to it. “We can easily climb up there.” “Unless you’re a pegasai.” Rainbow Dash mocked. “Yes, unless you’re a pegasai.” I said in an annoyed tone. Everypony except for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy who fly up to the exit, begins to climb up the platform and slowly make there way to the exit. “I'm telling 'em, keep your pants on. Alright, this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business.” “Ooh! I met myself onec!” shouted Pinkie Pie. “Really? How?” I asked. “It was in a dream once, I dreamt I met myself, only the other me was a gray shade of pink, and her hair was straight and she had a knife, and she was reaaally scary looking.” “That’s…odd.” said Twilight. “Not to mention creepy.” said Rarity. “Alright Rainbow Dash, let’s see if we can’t cut through this test track quick and easy.” I said. “Understood.” Rainbow Dash quickly took off into the air and quickly noticed a different room behind an Emancipation Grill. “Yo Twi! I found another room!” “Right!” shouted Twilight. Fluttershy took off into the air and Twilight teleports everypony in front of Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie then looked over the rail and smiled. “Hey, look! We’re above the previous test room!” Everypony looked over the rail. “Wow, you’re right Pinkie.” said Rainbow Dash. “Pretty neat.” said Twilight sarcastically. Everypony made there way up stairs and as we made it to the top we looked around to find anything. Taking the hint, Rainbow Dash flew off with Fluttershy and they began to search for anyway out. Fluttershy found a railing and signaled Rainbow Dash. “Hey Twi! Teleport here!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “Understood.” And in a familiar burst of purple magic everypony found themselves on a railing next to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. “Glad you could make it.” snickered Rainbow Dash. Everypony had made one lap around the railing platform and quickly realized that the rest of the path they need to go down was above them. Twilight then fired a blue portal on the wall and fired another portal higher on the wall opening a portal to the upper railing, everypony jump through and makes there way to the next testing area. “If you're hearing this, it means you're taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction. I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like 'projection'. THEY didn't fly into space, storm a beach, or bring back the gold. No sir, we did! It's you and me against the world, son! I like your grit! Hustle could use some work, though. Now let's solve this thing!” “Already did.” I said. “Really? How?” asked Twilight in disbelief. “I see the exit through that glass wall.” “So all I’ve gotta do is fly through the glass and smash it to pieces right?” asked Rainbow Dash, eager to dash off. “Could work, but you might get cut up on impact, and we don’t need to risk injuries. So here’s the plan: This button right here makes the lift fall, so I’m gonna stand on this button, and when I do, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy just fly into the exit, and Twilight you just teleport me and everypony else onto the lift and boom, we’re out.” “Not a bad idea.” Twilight said with a smile. “Yeah, a good idea or two come out from time to time.” I then stand on the button and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash make there way to the exit and Twilight teleports the rest of us onto the lift as it rises up and we make our way to the elevator. “Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired. Not you test subject, you’re doing fine. Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Good bye.” “Ha! Cave was never a safety man. It’s a shame too, because if he was a safety man, then he probably would still be alive.” I said with a smile. “Yes, his ideas and methods were indeed insane.” said Rarity. The elevator makes its way to the next floor and we depart. “Congratulations! The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science. As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests. We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you. Say goodbye, Caroline.” “Goodbye. Caroline.” “She is a gem.” I began to scratch my chin. “Hmm…” “What’s up?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Caroline. Why does that name seem familiar?” “Hmm… I’m not sure, but you’re right, she does seem familiar.” said Twilight rubbing her chin. “And, not only that she sounds familiar. She almost sounds like…No! That’s impossible!” I shuddered pushing the thought to the back of my head. “What’s wrong? Who do you think it is?” asked Rarity. “No, it’s not important. It’s not even possible anyway. But that aside, I think we should head over there.” I pointed to a hanger that was marked with the numbers ‘1974’. “What makes you think that?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Like I said, I’ve studied about this place, and I remember in one of the files about this place saying that hanger 1974 was marked for having a lift that heads up. We should look for it.” “Alright! Let’s do it!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she and Fluttershy dashed over to hanger 1974 and Twilight teleported the rest of us over in front of the door. As everypony enters the room we look around and see nothing but a few monitors and a giant pipes leading in two directions, one carrying blue gel and the other carrying orange. “Heh, I guess the lift is further in.” I said nervously rubbing the back of my head. Rainbow Dash looks up and sees platforms possibly leading into rooms. “Hold on, I think we can move on.” Rainbow Dash flies up and sees a computer room and a door marked ‘exit’. “Yup. Hey guys! I found the exit!” “We’re on our way up!” shouted Twilight. Fluttershy flew up to Rainbow Dash while Twilight had teleported everypony else into the computer room. I then saw two levers. “Hmm…‘Pump station beta.’ ‘gel pressure control.’ It seems these levers control the orange and blue gel pressure.” I flip both switches down. “Ya sure that was a good idea?” asked AppleJack. “Yes, who knows, we may need the pressure later.” I said as we all made our way past the exit door. As we walked into the next room it was almost in total ruins and Twilight pointed to a building named ‘control room’. “Aha! We need to get in there!” shouted Twilight. “Why? Most of the place is ruined, so what’s left for us to control?” asked Rainbow Dash. “No! I mean, we could search for a map in there, and who knows, the we just may find a new exit near us in there.” “It’s worth a shot.” I said. “Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt—” “Sir, the testing?” “Right. Now, you might be asking yourself, 'Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?' Let me answer those questions with a question: Who wants to make sixty bits?” “The ironic thing is, I asked that same question when I was ‘enrolled’ here, and he said the exact same thing.” I said smiling. “That’s cave.” Twilight said. “He always thought sixty bits would answer anypony’s questions.” “You can also feel free to relax for up to 20 minutes in the waiting room, which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you, so, Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face.” Twilight, Rarity, and I sighed, and AppleJack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy just rolled there eyes in irritation while Pinkie Pie was just looking around the room. “Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.” “Right, anyway, let’s just meet up inside the control room.” said Rainbow Dash as she took off with Fluttershy following her. Twilight teleported Everypony inside the control room where they ran into POTaTOS. “Oh. Hi. Listen, since you’ve all learned under Celestia I’m sure your all great at murder, could you –ow- murder this bird for me?” “Well, well, well. Look at what we’ve got here girls. I’d say POTaTOS was ‘served well done’.” POTaTOS and the Mane 6 groaned at my fail attempt at a pun. “Right, so anyway-ow- are you gonna murder this b-ow-bird anytime soon? Ow.” “I think we can answer that quite easily, can’t we Rainbow?” I asked. “Yup!” she replied with a smile. “NO!” shouted both Rainbow Dash and I. “Say-ow-what?!” “Yeah, you heard us. We’re leaving you here!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “You’ve given us every reason to leave you here!” I said. “First you killed every single pony, pegasai, unicorn, filly, and stallion inside Celestial Science, then you tried to kill both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, then you tried us! The list could go on forever, you deserve what you’ve gotten.” “Hold on.” said Fluttershy shooing the bird away. “I think we should help her.” “WHAT?!?!” shouted me and Rainbow Dash. “WHY?!?!” “Well, just look at her, she’s helpless.” Fluttershy cooed as she picked up POTaTOS. “Um, excuse you. I’m not helpless, I can handle myself.” “Says th’ robot that almost got eaten’ by a bird.” Giggled AppleJack causing everypony except Fluttershy to lightly laugh. “Come on guys, pleeeeeeease?” pleaded Fluttershy with puppy dog eyes. “No!” replied everypony. Fluttershy then ran up to me and used her puppy dog eyes. "Pweas?” Ugh! Damn it all! She’s just too damn cute! I’ll get diabetes at this rate! I thought. “You may want to take me along anyway.” said POTaTOS. “Why’s that?” asked Twilight. The area shakes slightly. “Did you feel that? That idiot doesn’t know what he’s doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody or somepony doesn’t disconnect him.” “And why should we?” asked Rarity. “Yeah! We can easily escape before the hours pass by.” I said. “Simple, because if this place explodes, it’ll let out a nuclear explosion that’ll wipe out the entire eastern seaboard, Equestria included.” “WHAT?!?!” shouted Everypony in shock. “I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.” “So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.” “Really?” asked Rainbow Dash skeptically. “And this isn’t one of your tricks?” “No, no tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you. Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.” Everypony except for Fluttershy was lost in thought. “Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.” Everypony stood still, still thinking. “I think I hear the bird! Pick me up!” “Ugh! Fine!” I said picking POTaTOS up and placed her on the tip of the top antenna of my portal gun. “OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]” “Hmm. I guess scheming requires more than 1.1 volts of electricity to perform.” I said causing Everypony to laugh. The button POTaTOS was laying on started spitting out sparks and a platform outside begins to move up. Everypony then walks out of the control room and POTaTOS reactivates. “Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?” “Calm down POTaTOS, we’re still in front of the control room, you were only out for a few seconds.” said Twilight. “You know, you can still call me GLa-never mind. Anyway, That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]” “There she goes again.” said Twilight. “She’s not gonna do that the whole time is she?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Most likely.” I said. “Like she said, she only has 1.1 volts of electricity in that body. And you can only do so much with that small amount of power.” I look over and I notice the elevator. “Hey, ladies! Look there’s an elevator over there!” I shouted in excitement. “Alright! Let’s go!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she and Fluttershy flew off and Twilight teleported us in front of the elevator. “And by the way David, thanks.” said Fluttershy. “Thanks? For what?” “For agreeing to take POTaTOS with us, she was helpless and she really could use our help.” “Don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t. I would’ve left her there, but like she said, with out her guiding this ship, the explosion would’ve taken out the entire eastern seaboard. So we really have no choice anyway.” -------------------------------------------------- Note: Blue stands for me, Cyan stands for Rainbow Dash(Duh.), yellow stands for Fluttershy (Double duh.), and Silver stands for POTaTOS. Before reading what's below open another tab, and go here and listen to it while you read. --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij_rYpao9oM&list=FL0oZNrDwEOVnmtO4WJgLrKw&index=1&feature=plpp_video Hey guys it's me again! Do we have to take her along with us? Yes Rainbow Dash, she needs our help. Don't make me sound helpless. Even though you are. Oh boy, next time on Portal! Chapter 7-The Reunion! Are we really doing the right thing, giving POTaTOS her power back? > Chapter 7 The Reunion > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author’s Note: We’re baaaaaaaaack♪ Sorry it took me soooooo long to come up with this chapter, it’s just for those of you who didn’t know, I got started on another fanfic called My Little Kingdom Hearts: Hearts Are Power, for those of you who didn’t know and are interested in reading head over to my site. Now, please enjoy and again sorry of the long wait. The elevator makes its way to the next testing area and POTaTOS wakes up as we step out. “Did anything happen while I was out?” asked POTaTOS. “Nah, not really.” replied Pinkie Pie. “You were only out for twelve seconds.” “Hm, I see. Well at least I wasn’t out long.” “The testing area’s just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.” “Cave Johnson giving away money? HA! I would love to have seen that!” I laughed. “Hahaha! I know right?! I’d sooner believe that Fluttershy was able to wrestle a bear than believe Cave would give out cold hard cash.” “Hold on, who-?” “Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?” “Yes sir mister Johnson.” replied both Caroline’s recorded voice and POTaTOS catching everypony off guard. “Why did I just-Who is that? What the HELL is going on he----?” POTaTOS instantly shuts off. “…Well…That was creepy. Anypony agrees?” I asked looking at the Mane 6. “Definitely.” replied Rainbow Dash. “But it’s also, kinda odd. Don’t you think it’s weird how GLA-I mean POTaTOS replied to Cave Johnson’s voice like that?” asked Twilight. “Not really.” I replied. “Being a potato obviously drained her more than we thought, but to me it doesn’t matter. As long as we get her back in her body, stop this place from blowing sky high, and if she keeps up her end of the bargain then it doesn’t matter.” “Exactly! …Now there’s just one question.” said Rainbow Dash. “And that is?” “How are we gonna get out of this test room?” “Up there looks like our best bet.” said Twilight pointing her hoof at the upper level of the testing chamber. “Alright! Let’s go Fluttershy!” “Right.” Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy quickly flew up the walkway while Twilight teleported AppleJack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and I to the upper level. We reappeared next to Fluttershy who was just standing still looking up. “What are ya lookin’ at Fluttershy?” asked AppleJack. Suddenly the exit door opened and Rainbow Dash landed next to Fluttershy. “Rainbow Dash.” replied Fluttershy. “It turns out, there was a button up there, and all I had to do was fly up and press it!” “Sheesh, I wish you guys were with me during my entry exam tests. Your powers are the ultimate cheats!” I said. “Heh, well we are pretty awesome.” replied Rainbow Dash. “No arguments from me.” “Alright you two, let’s stay focused please?” asked Twilight. “Whatever.” Rainbow Dash and I nonchalantly replied as everypony walked through the emancipation grill and ran into the next section of the training area. As everypony looked to the left we saw a walkway. “We need to get over there.” said Twilight. “Right! We know what to do!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she and Fluttershy took off and Twilight used here teleportation spell. Rainbow Dash then quickly flew in front of Twilight. “Hey boss! The exit is right on the opposite side of this beam!” In shock everypony ran to the opposite said and saw the exit elevator. “Wow.” said Pinkie Pie. “If only the other tests were this easy!” “They’ll probably get easier and easier as we go along Pinkie, after all, you guys are able to use your powers without and restrictions so that’s helping too.” I said. “True dat.” Twilight quickly teleported everypony inside the elevator and we were quickly joined by Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy who barely make it into the elevator as the door shuts with the elevator ascending. “Great job, astronaut, war hero, and/or Olympian! With your help, we can-” The tape then cuts off and cuts back on. “This on?” Cave Johnson taps on the mic. “Hey. Listen up down there. That thing’s called an elevator. Not a bathroom.” “I swear I know him…” said POTaTOS. “Don’t you remember POTaTOS? You used to work with the guy back when Celestial Science was still, you know, alive.” I said with emphasis on alive. “No, I don’t remember. I don’t even remember Cave Johnson at all.” “Hmm…that’s odd.” said Twilight. “You should remember that. I remember it clearly.” “Me too.” I said. “Same here” said Rainbow Dash. “Even I remember!” said Pinkie Pie. “So do I.” said AppleJack. “As do I.” said Rarity. “Me too.” said Fluttershy. “If we all remember it, then why don’t you?” I asked. “I really don’t know, I’ll have to look into it when we get Wheatley out of the mainframe.” The elevator stops at the next test area and everypony steps out and slowly walks forward, scanning the test area. “If you're interested in an additional sixty dollars, flag down a test associate and let 'em know. You could walk out of here with a hundred and twenty weighing down your bindle if you let us take you apart, put some science stuff in you, then put you back together good as new.” ‘As if anypony would be stupid enough to accept that offer.’ I said to myself. “Oh! Oh! Let me do this one! Pleeeeeease?!” asked Pinkie Pie on her knees. “Uh, sure Pinkie. Why not?” said Twilight nervously. “Yippee!” shouted Pinkie Pie as she fired a blue portal below the tube spilling out orange gel and fired a blue portal on the lower wall on the platform in the back of the room. “Come on everypony! This is where it gets fun!” Pinkie Pie jumped through the portal with everypony else following suit and because of the orange gel on the floor they all slide to the back wall. “We’re not done yet!” Pinkie Pie then fired a blue portal under the blue gel tube and fired an orange portal on the upper platform causing blue gel to fly out from the orange portal. After a few seconds Pinkie Pie fires a blue portal on the platform in front of them. “Okay everypony…CHARGE!!!” everypony runs at full speed and with the help of the orange gel everypony runs with incredible speed and launch right out of the blue portal and bounced right off a platform covered with blue gel and we land on a platform suspended by black wire. “And there’s the exit!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed with glee pointing at the elevator. “Great job Pinkie!” Twilight praised. “Yes, you did an excellent job!” Rarity praised. “Definitely, way to contribute to the team!” I said. “Now, there’s only one thing left to do.” said AppleJack looking at Rainbow Dash. “We’re already on it. Let’s Fluttershy!” “Right!” Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy take off into the sky and fly into the elevator while Twilight and the rest of us are teleported directly into it and the elevator doors close at it begins to ascend. “In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a pony and or man back together. So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.” “Yeah, we oughtta pay them for ripping us apart.” I said rhetorically. “You know, I gotta say, I never knew how much nerve Cave had, even when we were working for him, but as I listen to him now, I’ve been shown how much nerve he has.” “I’m not surprised personally.” Twilight said. “Mr. Cave has always been blunt about his pursuits on science.” “At least he showed passion, personally I’m liking this guy more and more. Did I kill him?” asked POTaTOS. “No clue. When you flooded the entire joint with that neurotoxin crap, we were put to sleep in rooms on the opposite side of the science center.” said Rainbow Dash. “For all we know, all of us and the princesses are the only survivors we know of.” “I see. How unfortunate. And…sorry about that.” Everypony’s jaw drops and everypony stares at POTaTOS “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?” “Yes, I’m…sorry, for what I’ve done. What I did was mean, and I was wrong. I’m sorry.” “Woaaaaah.” Everypony said in amazement. “Welp, I’m convinced.” I said. “On what?” asked AppleJack. “That putting POTaTOS back on the main control panel is a good idea. I think she’s learned her lesson. Now I’m positive that what we’re doing is the right thing. POTaTOS, you have our full support.” “Thank you. But if I could ask you just one thing please?” “Sure. What is it?” “Stop calling me POTaTOS. Just call me GLaDOS like always.” I huffed. “Fine. It took me a while to come up with that name.” Everypony including GLaDOS laughed to my dismay as the elevator reach the next testing area. “Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful. If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don’t want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building. For many of you, I realize 60 dollars is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?” Everypony walks past the emancipation grill and approaches a giant door with the sign “Elevator To Surface” “How much you wanna bet that it won’t open?” I asked. “Although it would be nice, but it doesn’t matter, remember, if GLaDOS doesn’t get put back into the control panel we’re gonna catch a massive fire work show that just may be our last.” explained Twilight. “True, true. So, where to from here?” “Oh! I see an exit up there!” shouted Pinkie Pie pointing to an emancipation grill. “Good eye Pinkie Pie.” complemented Rarity. “Oh! Nice rhyme!” Pinkie Pie giggled. As Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew to the exit Twilight had teleported everypony up in front of the grill. Pinkie Pie then quickly noticed the sign on the railing. “Hmm…‘GAMMA’? The sign is pointing over there, but I don’t see anything.” “No Pinkie, it’s up there.” said Rainbow Dash pointing to the upper level marked GAMMA. “Meet’cha up there!” Rainbow and Fluttershy quickly made there way to the gamma platform as Twilight had teleported the rest in front of the door. “Caroline... why do I know this woman? Did I kill her? Or- Oh my god.” “What’s up GLaD?” asked Rainbow Dash. “N-Nothing…just…listen, you’re all doing a great job…Can the rest of you handle everything on your own for a while? I need to think.” “Sure, just don’t think too much or you might short out again.” “Right.” “Hey guys.” I said getting everypony’s attention. “What’s up?” asked AppleJack. “See that?” I asked pointing to the upper platform. “Already on it.” said Rainbow Dash as she and Fluttershy took off to the upper platform and Twilight used her teleportation. “Uh, guys? Are you sure we should be here?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Why because of the ‘Danger Keep Out’ sign?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, we’re not supposed to be here.” “I agree with Pinkie.” said Fluttershy. “The sign says danger, and I don’t like the sound of that.” “Don’t worry Fluttershy, the only thing we’ve gotta be worried about here is the bottomless pits in these test chambers.” said AppleJack. “I-I guess.” “Come one everypony, let’s not slow down.” said Twilight as she led everypony down the hall. Twilight then opened the door she saw out of the corner of her eye. As I stepped through the door, GLaDOS began to freak out as she noticed the crow. “Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It’s evil!” “Calm down GLaDOS, it flew away.” I said. “Oh, good, alright, back to thinking.” “Right, and while you do that, we’ll continue to make progress.” Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy glided across the wide and steep gap cutting them off from the next area of the testing area and Twilight teleported the rest of us onto the stares and we quickly made our way up. “Welcome to the enrichment center. *cough*” “This was taken before he died.” I said. “Really?” asked Twilight. “Yeah, you weren’t around at the time because Cave sent you off to do some assignment.” “Assignment? ...Oh! I remember, he said that there was a blown fuse and I left to fix it.” “Well, while you were gone he got ill. I’m surprised he was able to hide it from you.” “Me too…but how did he get ill?” “Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not. *cough* As a result, you may have heard we're gonna phase out pony and human testing. There's still a few things left to wrap up, though. The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel. And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill. Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor. So now we're gonna see if jumping in and out of these new portals can somehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. *coughs* Let's all stay positive and do some science. That said, I would really appreciate it if you could test as fast as possible. Caroline, please bring me more pain pills.” “WHAT?!?!” shouted Twilight in disbelief. “THAT was why he died?!?! Anypony knows that moon rocks have poison in them! Even Princess Luna could tell you that!! Ugh! I don’t even know why I’m surprised!” “That’s probably why he didn’t want to tell you.” I said. “He wanted to avoid an ‘I told ya so.’ speech. You know how stubborn he can be.” Twilight let out a huge sigh. “Yeah, I know.” “Let’s not let this slow us down, let’s keep moving.” “Right!” replied everypony. We quickly move through the computer room until we find a red button next to a desk. Twilight pushes the button and it opens the door leading to the elevator. Everypony quickly runs out of the computer room and into the elevator and it brings them up to the next level. We quickly leave the elevator and see a tube spilling white gel onto the floor and the walkway a few feet away from us. “Sheesh, we’re flying and teleporting all over the place. It’s starting to get annoying.” I said. “I agree. Are there any parts still intact in this place?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Come on everypony, we’ll have time to complain later.” said Twilight. “Fine.” both Rainbow Dash and I said as Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew over the pit and Twilight teleported everypony to the railing. We begin to walk down the railing until we notice the railing on top of the massive support beam. “OH COME ON!!” shouted Rainbow Dash and I. “Knock it off you two, let’s just go.” said Twilight. “What ever.” Rainbow Dash then quickly took off with Fluttershy as Twilight teleported everypony to the railing. “Let’s see…” I said trailing off looking around the room. “Ah! There’s another computer room!” “Right! Let’s go!” Rainbow Dash quickly flew down with Fluttershy as Twilight quickly teleported everypony onto the platform leading up to the computer room. “All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade.” “Yeah.” “Make life take the lemons back!” “Yeah!” “Get mad!” “Yeah!” “I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?” “Yeah, take the lemons!” “Demand to see life’s manager!” “Yeah!” “Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons!” “Oh, I like this guy!” “I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!” “BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN! Burning people, he says what were all thinking!” Everypony stares at each other and quickly burst into laughter. “What? What’s so funny?” asked GLaDOS in genuine confusion. “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! H-He’s quite the motivational speaker ain’t he?!” whooped AppleJack trying to catch her breath. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That was hilarious!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wow, he sure can be energetic when he wants to be!” laughed Pinkie Pie. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I knew Cave was hard headed but THIS is a new level! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!” laughed Twilight. I could barely say anything, I was laughing too hard. Rarity managed to calm herself down as she stood back on her hooves. “Tee hee, w-well, at least we’ve had our laugh for today.” “Y-Yeah, Hahaha! That was funny!” said Fluttershy slowly standing up along with everypony else. “I’ll never understand your tastes in comedy.” said GLaDOS “The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now. Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this - and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her. Hell, put her in my computer. I don't care. All right, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.” “Goodbye sir.” “You remember him now?” I asked. “No, but it, just, feels like I know him.” “Well don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll remember eventually. For now, let’s just keep moving.” Everypony continues there walk through the test chamber until we arrive to a door labeled ‘Elevator to Surface’. “Alright! And by the looks of this door it seems to be unlocked! Let’s hurry!” I said in excitement. “Yeah! Let’s go!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she busted the door down. But to our shock it’s actually a long corridor leading up. “No! Not more flying!!” “N-No! NOOOOOOOOOO!!” I yelled. “Not more teleporting! There’s no reason for this!” I then drop to my knees. “WHY GOD?! TELL ME WHYYY!!” “Calm down you two. It’s not that high up. And besides there’s a way for us to get up there without teleporting. But the only problem is that, we’ll need flight.” “Oh no.” moaned Rainbow Dash. “Don’t worry Rainbow Dash, I can do it.” Fluttershy said. “Really? You’d do that?” “Yes. I’m sure.” Before Fluttershy flies off I stop her. “Hold on!” “Hm?” “It’s dangerous to go alone. Here take this.” I removed GLaDOS from my portal gun and hand it to Fluttershy. “GLaDOS?” “Yeah, she might be able to help you find a place where you can put the portal. Good luck Flutter.” Fluttershy blushes as she places GLaDOS on her gun. “Thanks.” Fluttershy then fired a blue portal on the white wall next to a gel tube and begins to fly upward. She quickly reaches the top and gets read to fire an orange portal on the floor below her. “WAIT!” “Yes GLaDOS?” “I maybe just a potato, but I still remember every inch of this place. You see that platform?” “That’s in a diagonal position?” “Yes, that platform is actually pointing to a door. Why teleport your friends here when you can cut the travel time in half by going as high as you can go?” “That’s true. Thanks GLaDOS.” “You’re welcome.” Fluttershy flies up and just like GLaDOS said there was a door right where she said it would be. Fluttershy quickly makes her way through the door and as she walks into the new room she looks around in awe on how big it is. “I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body! And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan. Wow. I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding. Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.” “No GLaDOS, don’t give up hope yet! We CAN survive! We just have to stay positive that’s all.” “But how can you be positive? Look at the odds! We’re probably MILES away from that moron, the facility might explode, AND he has complete control over EVERYTHING in the facility! There is no outcome where we come out on top as far as I can calculate.” “Don’t worry, if you can’t come up with a plan Twilight will. She’s always thinking and coming up with new ideas, and she knows the Equestria is in the line of fire. She’ll come up with a plan. I know it.” “Well…on the off chance she doesn’t have a plan I’ll try my best to come up with one.” “Thanks GLaDOS.” “Don’t thank me yet. Let’s see if this plan actually works first.” “Right. And in the meantime.” Fluttershy takes off and maneuvers her way to the top of the room. Eventually she makes her way to the top of the room and lands in front of an emancipation grill. “Alright, this is the perfect spot.” Fluttershy aims her gun to the white part of the floor and fires a blue portal and she sticks her head through it. “Hey guys! I did it!” “Excellent work Fluttershy.” said Twilight as everypony jumped through the portal. “David?” “What’s up Flutter?” “Do you want GLaDOS back?” “Nah, you can keep her. I’m positive you’d take waaaay better care of her then I would.” “Okay.” “Oh no.” “What’s the matter Rarity?” asked AppleJack. “There’s more gel in that test room.” “Why’s that a problem? Ya didn’t complain before? Why now?” “Because of two reasons. One, we were able to avoid using gel before so we couldn’t get messy. And two, the gel in that room aren’t being guided by pipes and there splattering everywhere. I refuse to go in there unless there’s another way to avoid it.” “Ugh! Of all the times to be annoying…You choose now?!” yelled Rainbow Dash. “Don’t worry Rainbow Dash. While I was up here I saw there was an upper level inside that room. All we need to do is teleport up there. See?” Fluttershy points at the platform above them. “Hey you’re right! Great job Fluttershy!” said Rainbow Dash. “Now let’s go!” Rainbow Dash quickly makes her way to the platform. “Right.” Fluttershy flies up to Rainbow Dash and Twilight teleports the rest of us up to the platform. “Alright, where to from here?” I asked. “If you all walk to the front, you’ll see that the tunnel leads up even further. All you need to do is fly and teleport up there.” explained GLaDOS. Everypony walks to the front of the platform and Twilight smiles. “She’s right. Alright everypony, let’s move!” “Right!” replies everypony as Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy fly up the tunnel and Twilight teleports everypony to the top. At the top of the tunnel it turns out to be a pipe room. “Woah, look at this place? Where are we?” asked Rainbow Dash. “This is a pipe room. Most of the gel in the facility moves through these pipes to reach there destination.” explained GLaDOS. “Neat. So, where to from here?” “Well there’s good news and great news.” said Twilight. “I like my options. Give us the great news first.” “The great news is that we don’t need to fly or teleport anymore from what I can see. The walls here are compatible with our portal guns.” “YES!” “Finally.” I said. “Feels like forever since we used these things.” “So what’s the good news Twilight?” asked Pinkie Pie. “The good news is that I think I found where we need to go next. That active light bulb over that door is an obvious hint.” Twilight fired an orange portal under the light and a blue portal on the wall and everypony makes there way through the portal and as they walk down the path we look up and notice the giant door on the ceiling of the room. “Woah, that’s a big door.” said AppleJack. “What do ya think is up there?” “Probably some kind of weapon.” I guessed. “You know how Cave feels about his weaponry.” “Do you know what up there GLaD?” asked Pinkie Pie. “No. As far as I can tell, any guess would be accurate.” “Hey, look!” shouted Rarity pointing to a room. “By my scanners calculations it appears to be a computer room.” “Wait? You have a scanner in there?” I asked. “Apparently. It seems that little moron didn’t exclude it during my ‘remodeling’.” “That is pretty stupid. But how did you get the power to use it? I thought you ran on 1.1 volts or something.” “Well it turns out my scanner actually requires less energy than that.” “Huh, who knew?” “It seems we can use that wall to launch us into the computer room and that white paint on the wall can help us.” said Twilight as she fired a blue and orange portal on said areas. “Alright! Let’s go!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she jumped down with the rest of us following suit. Everypony quickly and safely made it through the air and landed on the railing next to the computer room. “Wait! I've got an idea!” “What is it GLaDOS?” asked Fluttershy. “That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you Fluttershy?” “Okay.” Fluttershy slowly walked up to the poster and held GLaDOS up to it. “Paradoxes. No A.I. can resist thinking about them. I know how we can BEAT him.” “And so do I.” said Twilight. “But first before we discuss anything, we need to get that door on the ceiling open first.” “I’m already on it.” said Rainbow Dash as she pressed the ‘Hatch Override’ button causing the lights to go out. As everypony walked out of the computer room, the hatch slowly opened revealing light and three pipes that slowly moved down and attached themselves to three incomplete pipe lines and a small platform descends to the walk way on the ground. “Well, I may sound crazy, but I think we should jump for it.” I said. “Yeah, let’s do it! We’ve got leg braces on anyway.” said AppleJack. “I agree. Let’s go!” said Twilight. And with that everypony jumped off the platform and landed safely on the ground and run up to the short flight of stares and we meet the platform as it stops in front of us. “ALL ABOARD!” shouted Rainbow Dash as we entered the platform and made our way up. “Twilight about that plan. We need to-” “Get you in front of Wheatley so we can hit him with the paradox?” “Um, yeah. I guess, wow you really DO always think. That’s admirable.” “Thanks.” “And once you guys get me in front of him I’ll fry every circuit in that little idiot’s head. As long as I don’t listen to what I’m saying I should be okay.” “Oh! Wait GLaDOS! Let me do it! Can I do it!? PLEEEEEEASE?” begged Pinkie Pie. “Uh, sure? Why not?” “YAY!!” “She’s very excitable.” “Very.” replied Rarity. The platform then makes it to the top and everypony exits the platform and head up the stairs on the far right of the room. “Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.” “But it’s better than exploding, along with Equestria.” said Twilight. “True.” Everypony heads into the elevator and begins to move up. -------------------------------------------------- Before reading what's below open another tab, and go here and listen to it while you read. --> Note: Blue stands for me, silver stands for GLaDOS, purple stands for Twilight, and green stands for Wheatley. Hey guys long time no see huh? So this is it? We just ride to the top and take Wheatley down? That's right. I can only hope that the paradox will work. Have faith GLaDOS, that's the most crucial part of any plan. Next time on Portal! Chapter 8 The Itch! Well, well, well. Look who we have here.