Celestia is perplexed by the latest additions added to her castle.
After noticing some dead space in the castle, Celestia decides to draw up some plans, and leave for the weekend while the work gets started. Only to find that while she was away, the pony in charge was a little too eager to please.
Everything truly interesting about this story, did not truly begin when it began on Monday. Rather, it all properly began on Thursday. On that day, usually just after court but right before Luna would wake up for dinner, Celestia enjoyed a stroll.
Celestia's strolls would typically be something simple, a walk around the halls, a quick trip to the kitchen, a jaunt through the labyrinth, a trot through through the gardens, a visit to the kitchen to get a quick bite. Most of these trips either involved a snack, or a specific need to just escape for an hour, but it was her way of thinking through her life, a habit most ponies have.
It was during one of these trips through the castle's many halls that she noticed something. Usually she didn't pay much mind to how the rooms themselves looked, after all, one surely knows the inside of her own house, right? It was usual during this time, that she would rather talk to the mares and stallions that occupied these rooms as she went through. That was what kept her interest, the small army of maids and butlers, guards and messengers, artisans and handyponies that all had a hoof in keeping things running smoothly.
This time however, being a Thursday, most everypony was out for a staff meeting with their respective heads of staff. Leaving Celestia alone to wander the halls and peek into various rooms that were hastily left open in the rush to exit to their managers.
The rooms here, were not exactly the top of the line rooms of the castle that everypony thinks about when the words, CANTERLOT CASTLE exploded in your mind. Rather than being opulent and overly dressed with the finest of things, like her room or the suites for dignitaries, these were simple rooms for her ponies to stay in should the need arise.
The need arise being, a weekend in the castle to handle a few business errands that is related to royal manners in some way, shape or form. Such things included being a staff member of the castle, one that had duties that required them to be on call and needed to be close at hoof. Or, being a member of the staff that did not have the means to live on her or his own in a city like Canterlot.
As a result of these things, approximately half of the rooms in this wing were dedicated to housing staff, while the rest were either empty, or housed a temporary guest that was doing something for the government. There were two other's that kept a room here however, Discord, an ever present part of her life now, even when she didn't want it, kept a room here for himself i the past. However, since he'd moved into a home in a space very much like himself, the room had been lived in by Stella, an intern from Gryphonia.
The other was Celestia's dearest friend that was still among the living. Not best friend, or favorite pony or anything like that. But surely, this pony was quite near and dear to her heart, possibly the stomach. She wasn't sure, simply because while Celestia loved the fact that Hard Spice always had food on hoof, she hated that he'd berate anypony under him for even the simplest mistake.
It was however, that as she was looking at the open doors, some in mid cleaning, that she realized that despite being someponies homes here in the castle, they remained for the most part, sparse of anything except the bare minimum of personal belongings. A few pictures, some books or games on a shelf, maybe a small trinket that they enjoyed. But for the most part, these rooms were indeed quite sparse in anything that made them truly unique.
Granted the pictures and books and other such small trinkets were there, but it was always the same look, one bed in the center of the right side wall with red and gold bedding. An oak wardrobe, a mirror mounted inside the door, and a small bookcase with shelves either filled with personal items, or nothing at all.
She walked a little farther down the hall, and came to a twist. Here, she saw a set of double doors and looked inside to find a rather empty little room. Inside there was a few covered couches, a bar of some sort, and a severe lack of windows. The room next to it fared little better. After walking down the hall farther, she discovered that there were several rooms that seemed to serve little to no purpose at all.
As she backed out of the room, she felt a slight tug on her mind. She looked at a clock to confirm what she thought to be true, and silently walked away to the dining room to meet with Luna before lowering the sun so the moon may be raised.
The following morning saw Celestia in Luna's small office, a blueprint in hoof and a grin upon her face. "So let me get this right," Luna said measuredly. "You want to personally fund a new room to the castle?"
"Yes," Celestia said with a smile. "The south wing's fourth floor, that's where the on site staff lives, and I was thinking that-"
"Thinking that they needed some sort of space, correct?" Luna asked with a raised brow.
"Yes," Celestia agreed. "Most of our guests that stay here, tend to not be placed in this wing much any more, and there's so many rooms that are sitting empty. I thought that if we knocked down a few walls, have the ponies staying change locations so they are closer together to free up more dead space close to the project, we could make a central location for them all to meet in."
"it isn't a bad idea," Luna said as her quill tapped on a piece of paper. "In fact, I believe I can be of some assistance." She looked around for a few moments in a rolladex before pulling out a card and floating it over to Celestia. "I found this one amid the dreamscape last week," Luna said with a smile. "Afterwards, I took the liberty to get in contact with him in case he was needed."
The card was as expected, not a professional business card. Instead it was written by Luna herself with the name Harmonious Spaces penned in a hasty script. "Is that his name, or the name of his business?" Celestia asked with a tilt of her head.
"The business," Luna said as she put the card back in it's slot. "His name is..." she stopped to look over the card again only to not find it. "Well, it's not going to be that hard to find him anyway," Luna said with a scoff. "Besides, how many businesses could have that name?"
Celestia gave a shrug with her wings before rolling up the plans she had drawn up. "Well, I suppose that I should contact the business then, and prepare to oversee this construction."
Celestia was about to head out the door, when Luna called out, "Wait, please. I've still some time before I shall retire, allow me to handle this, you have already got enough on your schedule as it is."
Celestia faltered for a moment in hesitation. "Well, I don't know." She thought about it for a few moments before finally nodding. "Alright, you go on ahead and find out where he is. Once he's here, I want to discuss his terms before I give you both the okay to do this."
For Celestia, the day was lackadaisical. Much of her time was spent in the same routine doing the same thing that had occupied her mind for the last thousand years, and it was truly a testament to her determination that she hadn't gone mad from this. At least, she hoped that she hadn't, but how could she be sure?
Celestia pondered this query for a few moments before the plants beside her throne reminded her that she was supposed to make her judgement on the case before her. "Yes," Celestia said with a nod. "I do believe that you, the ewe should be properly compensated from mister Sheers for your wool, as it was yours to decide what to do with it, and he had no right to sell your wool after charging you for a hair cut."
The stained glass image of a sea serpent gave applause by slapping it's tail against itself at the wonderful job that Celestia had done, and she rose to smile at the ponies before her. "I now call this meeting of the ponies closed," she said with a tap of her hoof on a small round stone. "please exit to your right, and watch your foals please." She paused for a moment before her eyes blanked out, and then said, "Por favor, salga a su derecha, y ver a sus potros por favor,"
When Celestia had come back from where ever it is that she went to when the strange voice took over her body, she saw a note on the floor by her throne. Sister, forgive the lateness of this note, however it had taken far too long for us me to find him. You will find Bright Idea in your office by the time you notice this letter. Sincerely yours, Luna.
Celestia gave a small smile to herself as she folded the note, and placed it in the space between her body and necklace. It only took her a few moments to get to her study, and true to the notes word, somepony was waiting inside. The first thing that she noticed about him, was how annoyingly bright his coloration was. A neon yellow earth pony with black and orange mane and tail, truly painful to look at. "Mister Bright Idea I presume?"
"Aye, yes indeedy yer majesty," he replied with such casualty, not to mention an extreamly thick accent. One that suggested not that he was from a foreign country, but rather simply never learned how to properly speak, and thought that he sounded clever when in fact, he simply sounded like a preschool dropout. I've been sen' o'er te'ye fer a look at'cher plans o' the cas'le."
Celestia twinged slightly at the way he seemed to combine two words into one with a very audible gap, almost as if the apostrophes constantly in use were personally slapping her on the horn. "I see," Celestia said with her most practiced smile. "Well, allow me to show you around, and what I would like done before we discuss the terms of price."
And so, Celestia exited while he followed. At first it didn't bother Celestia much when Bright Idea would comment on things such as, "Lov'ly bit o' glass work ye' go'che're," or, "Oy, are ye' sure I can step o' dis bit o' carpet? It seems ta noice fer a bloke like me'self." Eventually, after he decided to go on about the "foine craftship on the candle'eer," Celestia decided to cast a spell of silence over her ears so she wouldn't have to hear the inane dribble constantly spewing out of the ponies mouth, and simply smiled and nodded at him as she lead the way.
Upon arriving in the hall she wanted him to see and work in, she discreetly lowered the spell so she could actually converse with him. "An' th'ts 'ow I saved th' cake!"
"Remarkable," Celestia replied simply to be polite. "Now, this is the rooms that you will be working on," Celestia started, only to stop when she noticed he was measuring a bit of wall using the space between the end of his hoof and his elbow. "I'm sorry, what are you doing?"
"A bi' o' the basic measure yer eyeness," he said with a doff of his cap. "Looks abou' twenty cubits long from 'ere to tha' wall 'ere." He said with a gesture.
"Er," was all Celestia could reply with before shaking her head. "Anyway, I have some basic designs I've drawn here," Celestia said as her roll of papers appeared next to her. She passed them over to Bright Idea and gave him her best smile. "What I was thinking, was to take everypony on this floor, and move them down from the end where that corner is, fill up every room from here," she marked the room at the begining of the hall, "To there," she finished before leading the way around the corner, and from here, to there," she said to emphesise the space. "Then, we use the empty rooms left between to make a large central room for the staff to meet at, and have recreational time in should they choose to."
"Oy, yea," Bright Idea said with a scratch of his chin. "I see wat'chu wan," he said confidently. "Ow abou, a thousan' bits, plus supplies and I ca' 'ave i' done before you can say, ego sum stultus! 'At means ayemma genyus it does."
Celestia blinked. Not only impressed with the fact that he spoke in a nearly perfect accent for the ancient language. But being that she was at one time a native speaker of that language, was instantly stunned with how amazingly wrong what he said was. "Well, allow me to think this over," Celestia said with a smile. "After all, one shouldn't rush with the first pony willing to do the job."
"'Efore ye' do," Bright Idea said with a smile. "Please, 'ave a look at me' book 'ere, showcasing some o' me best work." He quickly pulled a very professional looking book from his saddlebag, and passed it over to the princess.
She looked at it for a few moments, not quite sure what to think of the book. It's just a book, she thought to herself. It doesn't mean that he made it. Anypony could make a book for them if they request it. She gave a very soft sigh as she cracked open the pages, and saw photographs of very elaborate rooms. Luxury kitchens, expansive living rooms, exquisite bath rooms, and stunning bedrooms. Every photo showed not only himself in them with his saddlebags and some sort of tool in his mouth, but there was photos of the different phases, a before, during, and after. There were receipts all neatly stapled next to the photos showing that, yes, he was indeed the pony behind these build projects.
He smiled and bowed politely and said. "Eye, i's like they say, ne'er judge a book by i's cover, tha's wha' me mum tol' me as a foal."
"Bu..." Celestia faltered. "How could you do it so cheep?"
"Cheep?" He said in response. "Ay, ye don' get it do ye," he said with a smile. "Tha's my service te' ye'," He said with a smile. "Oh sure, I charge qui' th' pretty bitties for mos' jobs, bu' if ye accept me work," he said with a smile.
"I see," Celestia said as it finally caught on to her. He's not as big of an idiot as I thought. Celestia said in her mind, and decided right then and there. "Alright, you're hired."
It was just then when Celestia suddenly received a letter. It arrived in a manner she hadn't seen in quite some time, from Spike. She unfurled it immediately and read it to herself. Once, then twice more before closing it. "Forgive me, but I'm afraid this has to come to a close. Please, find your way back to my office, do not enter, but find a door marked Kibitz, he will be overlooking you on this project until I return."
"Aye ye' majesti'" he said with a sloppy salute. "Don'cha worry bou' a t'in', oi've go' a hoof o' it!" He then made his way in an impressively idiotic imitation of marching down the hall as directed. Celestia went in the opposite direction, and soon had forgotten all about her little project as the letter from Twilight spun through her mind.
The letter of course wouldn't be something that anypony of a sane mind and body would call urgent. However, when you are as old as Celestia, the odds of you being actually sane is around the same as getting five of a kind in a game of Omaha with only one deck of cards in the game. So it's possible, but highly unlikely that you're going to get a full house and they're all aces.
With that being said, Celestia didn't bother to take her personal carriage, opting instead to teleport straight to Ponyville, just outside of Twilight's castle. She took a moment to run a hoof through her main to make sure that it was as perfect as typically usual, looked at a particularly reflective bit of crystal that served as the door and smiled wide to inspect her teeth, then finally headbutted the door to knock on it.
Probably not one of her brightest ideas upon consideration, especially given the fact that somepony saw her doing it, and within an hour it became the most common way to announce your presence at the door in the elite circles, which made for quite the entertainment for most everypony else with common sense.
"One moment, the Great and POWERFUL TRIXIE has got the door." Silence called out for a moment, and Trixie was happy to answer by yelling, "TEACUP!" And so the beautiful set of crystalline double doors became a teacup big enough to swim in. This was followed by a sound of utter despair from somewhere in the castle, and the sight of another alicorn flying out the window.
Celestia now fully understood the message that she got, when it said simply the words TEACUP over and over again, she should have known that something was amiss, it wasn't until just now that all the pieces fit. Celestia calmly levitated the enormous cup aside and stepped across the threshold. "I see that somepony is rather overzealous today."
Trixie's only response was to give a giggle as Celestia stepped inside. The showpony tried to be polite enough by making a bow with a sweep of her hat, but she couldn't seem to quite stand still from the giggles she had got. "Princess Celestia, I'm sorry, I just, I can't seem to help myself!" She giggled a few more times before finally falling onto the floor and falling into straight hysterics.
At first Celestia felt concern, that only lasted for a minute however, and after three minutes of listening to Trixie's annoying laughter, she had decided that she'd had enough. "Teacup," Celestia said lazily as the laughter came to a halt. Celestia was quite proud of the results, as the annoying showpony was now a rather large teacup. A blue one with silver filigree design.
Celestia gave a sigh as she rubbed the bridge of her muzzle with a hoof. Without much thought at all, she turned the giant teacup back into the double doors and took off with the great and powerful teacup in tow. She walked a few meters down the hall before trilling out a friendly, "Hello!"
A few doors down, Spike popped out of the open frame. "Princess Celestia! Thank goodness you're here, Twilight Starlight and I have been running around trying to keep track of Trixie, she's turning everything into teacups!"
"So I've gathered," Celestia said as she passed the great and powerful teacup to him. "Well, half of the problem is solved at least, so where's Starlight Glimmer at?"
Rather than answer directly, Spike rolled his eyes and gestured for her to follow him. She did so, and the pair traversed a set of stairs to enter the map room. Inside, they found Starlight glowering over the map. "Look at it all, just sitting there, waiting."
"What is she doing," Celestia whispered to Spike."
"When she gets stressed out, she tends to slip up a bit," Spike explained in a whisper. "She's stress dictating."
"She doesn't look much like a dictator." Celestia whispered before looking back at Starlight to find that she was indeed dictating. To be precise, she was marching several potatoes in uniforms over the map. "This is too stupid," Celestia muttered to herself.
Celestia watched for a few more moments, only to find that Starlight was drinking dark coffee from a teacup. It left a small square patch of black on the fur above her mouth. Starlight sighed and swooped a hoof through her mane, making it swoop to one side. "Today Ponyville, tomorrow all of Equestria!"
"Dats mine pony," an all white earth pony with blond hair said as she threw a hoof in the air in some sort of salute before going back out the window.
Celestia gave a groan before grabbing Starlight by the tail. "Come on lets go before somepony does something really inappropriate in public."
"No!" Starlight screamed as she dug her hooves into the floor as much as possible. "The ponies of this nation are in need of saving, outsiders keep coming in, Equestria is week and I am the only pony that can do anything about it! We need equality, justice, JUICE AND COOKIES!"
"You need a nap in the coat that makes you hug yourself," Spike said in a deadpan voice.
A few moments later, and Starlight was properly taken care of, locked away in a room in the castle where she couldn't hurt herself. With that, phase one was complete. It didn't take too much longer for Spike and Celestia to move forward with the next step, which was to change all the teacups back to what they used to be.
It was an arduous task that took almost two hours, two hours that Celestia would never get back, but she could make up for it later. Somehow, she was sure. However, her work was far from done. The second task at hoof was to find Twilight Sparkle, which would be impossible for anypony if it weren't for the fact that Celestia had put a tracking spell on Twilight years ago.
She was found in the Ponyville clock tower, hanging from the rafters by hooking her back legs over them. She was rocking back and forth and muttering, "Too many teacups, not enough tea, no guests to enjoy the tea, not enough tea for the teacups, Trixie needs to be destroyed. Yes, destroy the Trixie pony, Tartarus would be good place for the Trixie..."
"Um Twilight," Spike called out from below her. "Would you mind not being crazy for a minute, Celestia's here and,"
"OH MY CELESTIA IS HERE!" Twilight then screamed like a stuck pig and exploded into a shower of sparks. She reappeared a few moments later with an impossibly huge grin. "HEY! Princess Celestiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...." She slurred briefly and then smiled again. "I just turned my blood alcohol level up a few points while you were... not lookin."
Twilight hiccuped before slumping over to catch herself on Celestia's golden necklace. She muttered an apology before standing up again, only to fall backwards. This earned the reaction of Celestia and Spike throwing their hoof or claw, depending on species, into their faces.
"Alright young missy, your going to bed." Celestia said with a tone of finality.
"But I don' wanna..." Twilight wined like a foal.
"No butts." Celestia said with a frown. "You want to act like a foal, you get treated like one."
And so, Celestia teleported Twilight and herself to friendship castle, leaving Spike to walk home.
From there, things smoothed out a bit. With Trixie still a teacup, she was left in the sink to soak up some soapy water as Celestia looked after Spike. The two of them enjoyed a nice and quiet evening together, discussing stories about the usual this and that or the other. Every hour or so, they went off to check on Twilight and Starlight.
Starlight was the first to recover and start acting normal again. As such, she was let out of the small room with plush walls and floor, and given back control of her magic. Starlight then expressed her thanks to Celestia, and it was the usual thing that she'd grown used to hearing. "Sorry for snapping," and, "No I know better than to be a dictator," and of course the ever present, "It will never happen again."
Celestia nodded in agreement, because dictating was her hobby, not anypony else's thank you very much. So the three of them got hot cocoa and waited for Twilight to wake up from her quick drunk spell. A spell that truly was dangerous in the wrong hooves.
By the time that Twilight had recovered, it was morning. Celestia had stayed over night, and Trixie was now the cleanest cup in the castle. It was Saturday, and Celestia had both today and tomorrow to herself, so she decided that since it had been a while since her last visit, that she would stay the weekend with Twilight.
Such spur of the moment thoughts had been the downfall of many a kingdom in the past, but not that day. No, that Saturday proved to be one of the most fun that she could remember in some time. After breakfast, she went to a theater with Spike to watch cartoons, then she went with Twilight to help Pinkie Pie bake at Sugar Cube Corner. Then she helped Starlight dust and shine the map room. And finally, she had tea with the great and powerful teacup.
At some point in that day, she knew that she had lunch, but to be honest, she found the event quite forgettable. All of Twilight's friends were there, and all of them were so polite and helpful that she was almost suspicious of what favor they had wanted from her. It turned out to be that they wanted her to handle the check.
At some point between lunch and tea, Twilight had disappeared, only to return an hour later looking exhausted. "Twilight, what's wrong?" Celestia asked in concern.
"Oh, nothing much," Twilight grumbled. "It's just that I had to run a few errands for tomorrow." She then gave a smile and pulled in several bags behind her. "Anyway, I've got dinner ready, it's just takeout, I hope you don't mind."
Celestia gave a smile as she took a sip from the great and powerful teacup. "It's not the source of the meal, but the times you share." She then gave Twilight a hug. "I'm sure I'll enjoy it."
And so they did.
The following day, shortly after awakening to raise the sun, Celestia found that a note from Luna had arrived in the night. She unfurled it to read as followed,
Dearest Sister, All is well at the castle, Kibitz and I have been overseeing the construction and despite a few hiccups, progress is moving fast. Yours,
Luna
Celestia gave a weary smile as she rolled the note back up, and proceeded to likewise roll out of bed. She gave a mighty stretch and yawn as two thoughts ran across her mind. Coffee, shower. At first that was the only thing that had looped in her mind, but after a few moments, she started humming an advertisement about not getting a lemon at something of orange, and it was followed by another thought about another carriage shop that was the word 'keys' over and over again.
By the time that she'd exited the shower, checked her hair and looked after her royal trappings, whatever sanity she had started the day with had eroded down from the worst advertisement jingles that had been deep seeded in her mind for who knows how long.
From her room to the kitchen wasn't too terrible of a walk, however, the sudden urge for any distraction from her errant thoughts became the forefront of her willful conscience. Upon entering the kitchen, she was greeted by the already waiting, and far too happy for her liking. "Good morning," he said as he flipped a pancake. "Breakfast is coming quick, but I've already got coffee going."
Celestia gave what could only be described as an insane sort of an answer. "Clowns are in the cupboard." She then pulled her new favorite teacup off a shelf, and filled it to the rim with coffee. She took a sip and gave a grunt. "'S cold," she said as she held the cup up to Spike. Spike rolled his eyes and blew a jet of flames on the cup, only for it to disappear, and reappear a few inches away from Celestia.
Celestia gave a small scream and quickly grabbed the great and powerful teacup from certain destruction. "Careful, you almost spilled the coffee." She then took a long slurping sip from the cup.
Twilight and Starlight now made there way into the kitchen, wide awake and too full of energy for her own good. "Good morning Celestia!" Twilight trilled as she sat before a plate of pancakes. "Did you sleep well?"
Celestia gave a noncommittal grunt before drawing in more coffee. "What in the name of me are you doing at the crack of dawn?"
"Well, since I've been living in Ponyville, I found that I need to get up extra early if I want to get anything done," Twilight commented casually. "You know, before anypony else comes along to drag into different adventures."
"And what about you Starlight?" Celestia asked with a raised brow.
"Well, I haven't slept yet." she said with a nervous look on her face.
"What could you possibly be doing all night long?" Celestia asked with mild amusement.
"Well..."
last night
"Tell us, is our sister snoozing?"
"Yes Princess Luna, the coast is clear."
"Excelent," Luna said as she rubbed her hooves together. "Then it is agreed, we meet in the sub-cellar of destiny."
"Or just the basement." Starlight said with a smile as she lead the way downstairs. A few moments later and they arrived to a locked door. A turn of the key, the flick of a switch, and they stood at a table. "Ready?"
"We were ready hours ago," Luna said as she put on a hat with black and white stripes.
"Then let's do it," Starlight said as she pushed forward a lever on a black box. Across the room, a miniature city came to life as a toy train rambled down it's three electric tracks with quick speed.
Luna gave a giggle as she began to press buttons and switch tracks and other trains began to move. "Train leaving for Anaheim, Azusa, and Cuc-amonga on track 9, all aboard!"
Back to that morning
Starlight's grin grew much wider than anypony was comfortable with before she answered, "Nothing of importance."
"Right," Twilight and Celestia said together in stereo before going back to their breakfasts. "Anyway," Celestia began. "I think I'll be heading out for a walk today." She stood up and grabbed a pancake from the stack Spike was building up for himself and casually munched on it as she exited the room.
Silence sat in the kitchen for a few moments before a cupboard door opened. "Is she gone?" Pinkie Pie asked as she crawled out.
"Yeah, she's gone." Twilight said with a smile.
"Oh good," Pinkie then whistled and a small troupe of clowns came out of the cupboard after her. "I brought some friends to help out."
That was when the great and powerful teacup changed back into Trixie. She screamed, Twilight screamed, everypony screamed, Spike drank more coffee and left the room.
The walk turned out to be a terrible idea. She had planned on going down to the park to settle down and read a newspaper in peace and quiet under a tree by a fountain. When she had arrived, it turned out that several ponies had similar ideas, and were crowded under the tree.
Determined to enjoy herself for a few moments, she instead moved to a bench and lay down to read there. She was only beginning to enjoy a rather interesting article about the Crystal Empire, when a voice interrupted her. "Excuse me," a young filly said with shyness in her tone. "But aren't you Princess Celestia?"
Celestia gave a warm smile, and nodded. "Yes I am, how can I help you little one?" Such words came to much regret in her life, as it was then with great suddenness that Celestia quickly found herself surrounded by a large group of foals all about her, asking many, many questions.
It took some time for her to work her way out of the small crowd, but upon her exit, the time had marched along and it was already late in the day, so she made haste to head back to Twilight's castle to escape the crowd. She quickly moved up to the door and quickly threw it open and slammed it shut behind her.
She took a moment of heavy breathing to herself in the darkness, and it took almost a minute for her respiratory system to return to normal. Then she took a moment to actually think about things, for example, the fact that it was pitch black inside the castle, one that usually shone with almost too much light whenever the sun was out.
That was how she was ambushed for the second time that day, only this time by the adult crowd of Ponyville. The lights suddenly came into existence, an echoing shout of, SURPRISE rang out loud enough to bring the dead back from the Eternal Pasture.
Celestia had never had a heart attack before, but was sure that she might have one now. She wasn't a young filly any more. If anything she was an ancient mare stretched thin like a small pad of butter spread about too many slices of bread. Somehow, she did not have an attack. Instead she managed to go into defensive mode and plaster on her usual benevolent smile.
Streamers and confetti fell from above, and somepony started playing a song on a sound system. Many shouts of congratulations and the blasting of horns tooting filled the room as Twilight and her friends came up to Celestia. "Twilight, what is all this?"
Twilight smiled as she passed a party hat to the princess. "I know that you have a royal jubilee in Canterlot every year to celebrate your birthday, but,"
"But," Pinkie Pie interrupted. "Twilight can't make it this year, so she was really sad, but when you came over to help her, she decided that she wanted to do something nice for you, so she came up to me and was all like, Pinkie can you make a birthday party for Celestia? And I was all, hey yeah I can! And so, here we are celebrating your birthday a little early here in Ponyville!"
Celestia took pause as she thought this through. It took a moment, but once she was sure she thought that she might have an understanding of what was said, she nodded. "I see." She looked around and saw that everypony was already breaking into groups and chatting among one another. "So, no favors to ask of me?"
"Nope."
"No fawning over me like some sort of helpless foal?"
"Not even the slightest."
"Games and snacks?"
"More than you could imagine."
So, Celestia gave off a sigh of relief as she was left pretty much alone. She listened to music, and danced to the occasional tune, ate unhealthy food, and drank fizzy liquid candy, and had what could be called a fairly good time.
After taking some time out to lower the sun, she came back to see everypony lined up, leaving a clean pathway to a table. "Princess Celestia," Twilight called out from the back. "It is with great honor that we would like to present to you, your cake." She then stood aside to reveal that her sister Luna was also there.
Luna smiled broadly as she opened a door. "Now sister, be sure to blow out all the candles." Everypony gave a small polite laugh, for no real apparent reason. Celestia simply smiled as she walked up next to her sister, and watched as the cake was wheeled in.
At first, it looked simply rather large at almost being a meter wide, bright pink and white with candles crowding the top. It became ridiculous as the length was reviled at almost 18 meters, every spare inch of the top covered in a towering inferno of small candles. Celestia deadpanned and said softly to Luna, "I really hate you right now."
Luna just gave Celestia off a grin that reminded her of the cat with a canary, and she softly said to Celestia, "Every single one in one breath if you want your wish to come true."
Celestia looked at the candles and gave it a thought, before making a show of trying to blow them out. Of course, she didn't make much impact on the candles, only getting a few that were closest to her. She rolled her eyes and cast the fire away with some magic, and everypony cheered.
As everypony applauded, Celestia leaned over to whisper to Luna, "I thought you were in Canterlot looking after Bright Idea."
"He's fine, I left Kibitz in charge," Luna said in a loud whisper.
Twilight then passed Celestia a knife with a smile and said, "I believe that you should have the honors," before backing away.
Celestia looked at the field of cake and cut a small corner slice for herself before walking off, leaving the fate of the cake to the rest. "Everypony, help yourselves because there's no way I could," she paused before continuing. "Well I could but I shouldn't eat all this cake to myself!" A chuckle rang out as the party grabbed some plates and began to grab themselves slices, and tossing away the layer of melted wax off the top.
"Many congratulations my Princess," a prim and proper voice called out from Celestia's left. She turned to find Kibitz there, eating a slice for himself. "I dare say, that pink one certainly can bake a cake."
"Wait," Celestia said as she held up a hoof. "What are you doing here?"
Kibitz looked around before answering in a confused manner, "I'm eating cake." He paused before finishing with, "I was invited you know."
"That's not what I mean," Celestia replied. "I mean, I thought that you were going to be looking after the project while I, and my sister were away."
"Oh, that," he scoffed. "It's not like he could have gotten too much done since I left a few hours ago, last I checked on him he was still knocking down some walls."
"But he's unsupervised."
"I'm sure that all is well," Kibitz said with a frown before biting into the cake. "Hmm, not a big fan of the raspberry, I would think custard would have been better."
Finding that Celestia's concerns were being so smoothly, and rather nonchalantly swept aside, rather than calming down, Celestia was becoming more nervous about the goings on at the castle. It's fine, she told herself. What could he do in only two days?
Celestia ate her slice of cake, and drowned it down with a few glasses of hard cider. Around midnight, Luna made a show of distilling moonbeams into something she called, moonshine, and passed around small glasses for anypony that was interested. With a few drinks in her, Celestia soon had forgotten about the castle, her worries, and most of her manners.
Things got weird after that, and from Celestia's point of view, the last thing she remembered was talking to a rather large stallion that had caught her eye, the next thing she remembered was waking up in her own room in the castle, the sun already in the sky thanks to her sister, and a pounding headache starting at the base of her skull and ending at the tip of her horn.
The headache of epic proportions had proven to be a veritable foe for Celestia. The first attempt was simple, a headache potion, when this failed it was followed by a pain relief spell. It finally ebbed away to a dull roar when Celestia called forth the royal physician to whip up something for a hang over, what followed was a thick green paste that tasted like moldy hay mixed with burnt roses, but it did the trick well enough to let Celestia go forth and follow through with her day.
After navigating the halls with a slight wobble, Celestia had finally reached the dining room, and opened the door slowly as the sunlight poured in from the wide open windows. "GREETINGS DEAREST SISTER!" Celestia jumped to escape the booming echo of Luna's voice so hard, that her horn was quickly lodged deep into the ceiling above her. "DID THOU SLEEP WELL?"
"Did you eat a megaphone last night?" Celestia grumbled as she tried to dislodge her horn from the ceiling. After several seconds of ineffective struggling, she finally hung limp like the worlds most regal of broken chandeliers. "Little help sister?"
Luna gave Celestia's rear hoof a playful smack, letting her swing back and forth from where she was hanging for a few moments. "Thou art truly a glutton for the drink Celestia," Luna said in a playful tone. "So, as the young ponies say these days, what did we learn?"
"I learned that my sister is probably still evil, and has not a drop of consideration in her soul for hung over ponies."
"Be that as it may," Luna said with a smile. "I went out of my way to make you something to eat for breakfast." She then held up a rather large paper sack. "And by I made, I really mean that I made one of my guards run to get you fast food."
"How thoughtful." Celestia grumbled as she wiggled a bit in the air. "Can you please pull me down."
"Oh, right, hold on." Luna quickly jumped up and grabbed hold of Celestia's rear hooves "Is it working?"
The horn stayed fast in the ceiling, letting the pair dangle a few feet in the air. "Ummm..."
"Oh we don't have time for this, GUARD!" At her call, one of Luna's and Celestia's guards came in from opposing doors of the dining room. "Get my sister down, she's going to ruin the plaster."
While the Lunar guard gave a simple salute, the Solar guard stood shaking for a moment before suddenly fainting with a nosebleed. "What on earth is the matter with him?"
"I don't know Princess Luna," the Lunar guard said in a flat tone. "Maybe it's a stallion thing."
Luna gave a shrug with her wings before responding. "Well, I'm no fan of hanging this close to Celestia's considerable backside, so would you mind using your weight to pull us down Miss," she paused to look over the guard before continuing, "Moonbeam."
The mare nodded and reared up slightly to hang off of Luna's rear legs. This did the trick, as the trio came crashing to the ground, shaking the floor with a mighty thump loud enough to revive the passed out stallion across the room. "Thank you Moonbeam."
The mare gave a sharp salute before marching out past the solar guard. "Come on tough guy," she muttered before dragging him out by his tail, leaving the two sisters alone at last. The two of them looked at each other in silence, only for it to be broken by the screech of the peacock from the wall clock.
"Ugh," Celestia grumbled. "Why do I keep that thing?" She walked around to the far end of the room, she at first attempted to grab at her bag of fast food with her magic, only to feel another sharp pain in her head cut the idea off and so she used her mouth to grab the sack instead. "It's just so annoying."
"Probably because it's a souvenir from one of the first clockwork artisans in Equestria." Luna replied with a frown of her own as she turned for the door. "I'd love to stay and annoy you further sister, but I'm afraid it's well past time that I went to bed."
"Mmm, sleep well Luna." Celestia said as she buried her muzzle into the bag. Luna gave a simple smile in response, leaving Celestia alone to enjoy her meal. "Ugh, fast food style tacos and burritos," She grumbled as she pulled them out. "I should ban that particular chain too."
She started crunching down on one of the deep fried monstrosities, and wasn't sure how it made her feel better, but it did. She took a moment to savor the flavors that can only be brought about from something so incredibly cheep to make, and discovered that two things had been laid out on the table before her, One was a glass of water with some aspirin next to it, the other was a simple note.
She ignored the paper for the moment to down the aspirin, and sit in silence as she focused on trying to not think about the bass drum of her heartbeat putting too much pressure on her brain in pounding waves. She continued to sit with her eyes closed as she downed more water, and ate another taco, and felt better enough to go ahead with the idea of looking at the note.
Your Imperial Highness Princess Celestia, She felt another twinge on her mind as she read the phrase, "Imperial Highness? I don't run an empire." The note went on, I am pleased to inform you that after pulling all stops, and using your plans, I have recruited the best help money can buy. With that, I am pleased to inform you that construction has finished. Please meet with me on the fifth floor central stairway, where I shall give you a tour of the finished job for your approval. Sincerely yours, Bright Idea.
Celestia reread the note twice as she tried to wrap her head around it. "How could he be done?" Her face screwed up from the actually painful process of thinking. Finally she gave up and took a huge bite out of the burrito, only to have the hot sauce set her mouth aflame. "LUNA!"
It was a few hours later by the time Celestia felt well enough to head upstairs to meet with her contractor. She however, had forgotten how he spoke, and the moment his voice reached out to her ears, she felt them plaster against her skull in annoyance. "Oi yeah, 'eer she is!" He gave a polite, if not sloppy bow, "I'm so 'appy 'o see ya again princ'ess!"
"Nice to see you too," Celestia said politely. "I can't wait to see what you've done with the place, tell me, did you have any trouble with the funding, or moving of the staff to do your work?"
"Nah nah, no'a pr'bl'm 't all," Bright idea said with a smile. "Well," he faltered a bit.
Two days ago...
"Righ' 'at's 'e lum-bar, 'laster, screws, nails, 'ammers. Jus' need a bit-o 'elp." He walked away from the carts in the carriage parking lot and looked out to see a group of stallions and gryphons leaning in front of the building. "Perfec'."
Later that day...
"Look 'eer," Bright idea said with a pained smile. "Th' princess is 'aven some renovations to be doin' 'eer, an' ye gotta move a few rooms o'er is all I'm sayin'."
"And all I am saying," the mare in the room said with a frown, "is that you should have told me a few days ago so I could pack, some of us aren't even in our rooms right now, so why are you rushing us about? Can't you give us a few days?"
"Eh, well, th' thing is, 'ell..."
"A bi' o' trouble t' be sure," Bright Idea said with a smile. "Bu' I thin' I 'andled it quite well." He then looked down the hall and gave a slightly worried look at it. "Bu' anyway, as you'll no dou' see, I thin' my crew an' I did a pretty bang up job."
Celestia felt her forehead throb slightly at how he was talking and rubbed a hoof to her temple. "Fine, let's just, get this over with. What did you manage to do?"
"Righ'," he said with a sniff. "Since you ga'me a ra'er loose description o' what you wanted, an' the ponies 'eer on the floor wouln' move." He marched down the hall now, Celestia following with a touch of nervousness settling inside. "We wen' with a few differen' scales t' show off our prowess in design f' you."
He then marched up a part of the hall that was by and far, much too far away from the empty corner of the hall that Celestia had wanted, and saw that four of the bedrooms were missing their doors. He then threw open a new door that was erected in what had been at one point an empty bit of wall. "Th' firs' octagon chamber."
Octagon was probably the wrong word. Rather than a true octagon, this room, for there was no better term that she could think of, was oblong in shape. If it were an octagon, it was surely one that was stretched out for far too long from side to side. "Umm,"
"Ca' got'cher tounge?" Bright Idea said with a smile. ""Rather 'appy wit' this one. Had a bit o' trouble with th' decor, bu' you wouln' b'leave 'ow good somma the boys are in pullin' this together."
By pulling things together, what he had meant was simply that it was absolutely wrong. Instead of a large room that would go up for three floors of open planning, with some balconies jutting from the corners and walking and seating areas between them, she instead found a one story room with a false balcony in each corner with curtains drawn. Overstuffed mismatched chairs from who knew where were scattered all pell-mell across the floor, and an absolutely terrible orange rug was in the center of the room, with what looked like cat vomit in its center.
Granted, there was nice material going into the room, and some good lighting came in from the windows, but it was quite painfully obvious to her that this was not what she had in mind. "Well, I..." Celestia stopped to think about the right wording. Surely something was the right phrase to complete what she started.
"Say n' more say n' more!" Bright Idea said with a bow. "No' what you 'ad in mind at all?"
"Uh, no." Celestia said with a week smile. "The scales all wrong and-"
"Ah, no' the right size, no worries! Th' boys 'n I will ge' this back to how it was before the next week is up!" Celestia looked at him doubtfully as she looked behind the balcony curtain to find that there was a fresco of what looked like Celestia raising the sun, only the sun was red, and attached to her head, and her face looked like a drawing on a potato. An ugly potato.
"Righ' this way, I'm sure you'll find the scale be'er in the nex' room."
And so they both left, Celestia feeling as if she had been taken for a ride, but the ride had just begun.
Celestia and Bright Idea took a quick step away from the first room that they had entered, and took a hard right to go a little down the hall. Celestia was feeling hopeful now that they would go all the way to the end where the two hallways met, so that she could see what she actually expected.
At first it looked as if she were to get her way, and she did find a set of new double doors, but before she could open them up herself Bright Idea gave a wave of his hoof. "AYE No' tha' one, dow' eer!" Celestia was so shocked that somepony would so casually order her around, that she actually turned away from the doors and followed him, and was surprised at herself for doing so.
As the pair went down the hall, getting farther from the area she had wanted work done all the time, she began to think to herself. Why am I following this idiot around? I could just roast him alive with my sun, send him to the moon, that would probably do him in, turn him into a toad... her thoughts were interrupted quickly by her face slamming into an open door, with her horn spearing right through the wood.
"Heh, oops." Bright Idea said with what looked like the good graces of at least trying to act like he was worried now. "Don' worry I'll get you out."
"No, It's fine I'll just," Celestia went to charge her horn to blast the door away, only to find that it wouldn't work. "Hey, what's going on here?"
"I don' know," Bright Idea said as he reached up with a small saw. "Migh be that th' wood's inturrupting the magi' flow. Does Godswood mean anything to you?"
Godswood, Celestia thought to herself in annoyance because she knew. Godswood wasn't a specific type of tree, but rather it was any wood that came from one of the old gods forests. Everfree for example was one of them, where some of the trees there have certain properties not found in other trees. In the case of whatever one he'd managed to find and work with, it seemed to be blocking her magic. How I really hate that pony.
Celestia looked on in annoyance as the hunk of wood she had skewered her horn through and gave a pull back, taking the door with her in an arc. "Uhh, yes, good hinges," she muttered as she tried to back away quicker. "I just need to,"
"Oh, I getche," Bright Idea said with a grin as he bucked the door, slamming it shut and taking her with it as if she were made of marshmallow fluff instead of flesh and bone. "Tha' oughtta hol' i' stiff fer ye'," He said with a grin. "Naw, no nee'ta thank me, jus' ano'er goo' Eques'rian, willin' ta' 'elp out a princess."
The ruler of all good Equestrians, was now using all four hooves to push against the wooden door, regretting the wood blocking her magic for how strong she wished to strangle this particular good citizen. The sound made upon her horn exiting the wood sounded not unlike a champagne cork leaving the bottle in a high velocity. The next sound of Celestia tumbling into an historic bit of decorative armor sounded much like somepony throwing a dish cabinet down a long flight of stairs.
Bright Idea looked at Celestia as if she may have been an escapee from a mental ward rather than one of his co-rulers. "Uhh, ye' awrigh?"
"YES! I mean, um, yes." Celestia said with what could best be described as the quickest grin in the west, if not the least sincere. "I'm sure somepony can get that, but please, open the door."
"Oh, tha' righ'!" He then quickly opened the door, this time not hitting Celestia but a random maid that was walking to check what all the commotion was about. Celestia was about to say something before she was ushered in by Bright Idea pushing her from behind as she still sat down. "Feast yer eyes o' that!"
Celestia already knew that she was going to hate this, long before she had come inside this room. She however had no idea how much. This particular room was indeed shaped like an octagon, that much can at least be said. The scale here however was indeed different in that it barely was large enough to hold a single pony, let alone the lone mop and bucket that was in there.
Celestia looked at the mop as it fell over with a clatter, "What is that?"
"An octogenarian like shape room!" Bright Idea said with a grin before he blew into a rag, opened it to look for something interesting, then like a magician, made it disappear into his pocket. "See inside all those lil balconies an such?"
Celestia looked and saw row after row of shelves, and crammed into a corner was a single toilet. "Is that toilet up to code?"
"Ell, I ope so," Bright Idea said as he entered the closet and pushed out the mop. "It's harder t' find a toilet 'eer than a spittoon in a rabbit hole." He then slammed the door leaving Celestia in the hallway in puzzlement. After a while he came out looking much relieved. "Ahh, tha's be'er."
"I hope you washed your hooves," Celestia said as she walked away. Bright Idea followed, laughing loudly as he did so.
"Now how can I wash, there aint no water in tha room!" He said, kicking a scrap of bathroom tissue from his rear hoof.
At first Celestia was just disgusted, and she was apt to let him know such, but then it dawned on her. "Wait, no water? But, you flushed, right?" Bright Idea looked blankly at her. "You flushed right?" Celestia opened the door hard and looked closer at the toilet and saw that it was little more than a seat with a hole in it. Followed by a hole in the floor, followed by a yelling Prince Blueblood.
