> Winter Night Under a Starless Sky > by Zaid ValRoa > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Ambitions > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “You got this.” Starlight’s tone was even as she took in the confident stare her reflection was giving her. She took a deep, calming breath as she eyed herself. She traced a finger over her uniform to make sure it was in perfect condition and her lips formed the winning smile she had been practicing all week. The uniforms looked cute, so there was that, but she wasn’t sure what was the purpose of making the staff look like elves other than scream “We’re capitalising on the holiday spirit!”. Though perhaps they hoped that by being so blatant, the customers would find some sort of delight in the refreshing honesty of it all. At least the cooks hadn’t been forced to dress like reindeers or something like that. Starlight sighed. Nothing good would come out of overthinking things. This job may just have been a small stepping stone, but she was still going to do her best. At least they hadn’t made them buy the silly costumes out of their own dime. “You got this,” she repeated, imbuing those words with as much conviction as she could. “You’re going to go out there and show everyone you’re the best, because you are Starlight—” “Glimmer!” The door was flung open and the short, middle-aged manager stumbled in. His eyes were tired, heavy with the strenuous workload of the holidays. At least the Santa Claus costume made him look somewhat jovial, even if his stressed expression made for a conflicting yet amusing contrast. “We open in ten minutes, get out there already.” She felt her lips twitch, but the professional smile was back in an instant. Puffing out her chest, she looked at her manager and nodded. “Right away.”  She supposed she should’ve added a “sir” at the end. Or, at the very least use his name. Well, too much time had passed and doing so would feel tacked on and awkward. Hoping her manager wouldn’t take it as a sign of disrespect, she spared one last glance to the mirror, gave herself a reassuring look, and walked out. This night would be a piece of cake! Cakes were horrible. She was going to set a cake on fire before her shift was over. Table six had just ordered one, maybe she should soak it on bourbon and light it on fire, say it was flambeé, courtesy of the house. Maybe then that obnoxious child would do something other than make a mess. With a bit of luck, the toupée of the gentleman on table nine would catch fire too, give him something real to complain instead of his ham not having enough glaze. She blinked, surprised at how quickly her thoughts had taken a turn for the macabre, and how little it bothered her. With a shake of her head, she pushed away those thoughts and walked over to greet a newly arrived couple. “Good evening.” Warm and welcoming, without sounding overbearing, good start. “Table for two?” The man nodded and his date squeezed his arm even harder. How sweet, two lovebirds in the spring of their youth. If she played her cards right, she could probably squeeze a good tip out of them. Putting on the welcoming smile, she made a curtsy and guided them to a free table, picking up a small basket of complimentary breadsticks while thinking of ways of upselling to them. They were obviously not a rich couple, but that didn’t mean Starlight couldn’t get them to try a glass of nice wine to celebrate their date. Perhaps even more if one of them was driving. So lost she was in her thoughts, she failed to notice the kid from table six running in front of her and making her lose balance. Starlight saw the world in slow motion as she fell forwards. She may have heard someone gasping and the little kid letting out a worried gasp. Perhaps due to the shock, she gripped the little bread basket even harder, realising too late that doing so would only lead to her face planting on the floor. She braced herself for impact when all of a sudden a strong arm caught her before she could fall. The basket fell to the floor, sending the breadsticks flying every which way. Her manager would probably dock her a few cents on her paycheck, but it was better than having to spend all of her savings on several visits to the dentist. “Watch your step. Shift just started, and I won’t take the whole workload.” Starlight looked up to see the girl who caught her, her vibrant mauve skin tone and purple hair with light blue highlights reminded her slightly of herself sounding completely disinterested. With a nervous smile, she stood up, whispered a quick thank you, and turned to face the somewhat startled couple. She heard the other girl stand still for a while before shuffling and walking away to the other tables she was serving, and once more focused on acting as professional as possible. “Apologies for that. Please take a seat.” The smile was back on, and the tension left the couple. She had this. Starlight threw her weight against the service door, using the exhaustion from the first half of her shift to help her push. The rush of ice cold December air against her face was a welcome sensation, considering how stuffy the inside of the restaurant felt. The first couple of hours had gone as usual, which meant several waves of customers and having to pay close attention to several tables, all while putting on her cheerful smile as she dealt with rowdy kids and their disinterested parents, lonely old people who wished to complain about anything for the sake of feeling some sort of validation in their lives, or the occasional troublemaker, trying to get a free meal because they supposedly found a fly in their soup, or a rock in their salad. She hated them so much… She’ll show them all one day…  Kicking the door closed with the heel of one of her boots, Starlight walked into the unloading area in the back of the restaurant. Hurrying to a corner, she started taking off her backpack when she froze at the sight of the other person with her, leaning against the wall with a steamy cup in her hands. “Oh… Hi, there.” The girl barely turned her face, giving her a sidelong glance. Seemingly more interested in her drink than in Starlight. “Hello,” she replied. “I just came here for my break,” Starlight said, pulling out a wrapped sandwich out of her bag. “I hope I don’t bother you.” The girl shrugged and took another sip of her plastic cup. “Knock yourself out.” “Right…” Starlight looked at her food and then back at the girl. The mood wasn’t quite awkward, but it certainly threatened to become that if she stood there in silence. “I’m not going to bite you or anything,” the girl said. As a deer in headlights, Starlight’s eyes shot wide open as her fingers squeezed her sandwich, making a bit of the filling come out. She then realised how silly she was acting and walked towards the girl. Standing a few steps away from her, she started to unwrap her dinner while shooting a few sidelong glances towards her unexpected companion. Her fingers twiddled with the plastic wrapper as she wondered if she should say something. “Hey, um…” Starlight started, the other girl once more only turned her head enough to barely look at her. “Thanks for the catch earlier, I was just… the stress was getting to me and I didn’t… uh… see the…” The other girl didn’t even blink, as if she was staring at a blank wall. Aware, but not really attentive. Gulping in hopes to ease the knot in her throat, Starlight let out a nervous giggle. “Thanks, you saved me the embarrassment.” “It’s okay,” was the girls only reply, and they lapsed into silence afterwards. Starlight supposed that should be the end of it. Not much sense in trying to force a conversation with someone who wasn’t interested. She wasn’t sure why she even tried. With sluggish motions, she finished removing the plastic wrapper, balled it up and stuffed it in her purse. Stupid new uniform didn’t have pockets… “That kid was annoying anyway. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had tripped him.” Despite herself, Starlight couldn’t help but laugh loudly at that. The way the girl took a sip out of her drink as soon as she finished speaking made it much funnier, in her opinion. “I’m Starlight,” she said a smile still on her face. “Starlight Glimmer.” The other girl looked at her with an inscrutable expression before she replied, “Aria Blaze.” “Nice to meet you,” Starlight said. Aria lifted her cup and nodded. “Sure. Likewise.” Starlight wasn’t sure if she should say anything else, but… well, she felt comfortable, and they still had about twenty minutes in their break. There was nothing wrong with a bit of small talk. “Have you…” she started. Aria looked back at her. Perhaps it was just her imagination, but she seemed more relaxed now. “Have you been working here for long?” Aria shrugged. “A couple of months. This is your first week, right?” “Yup. Fresh start. New job, new school, new everything,” Starlight replied, squeezing her sandwich in her excitement and making the mayo and mustard spill out of it and down her hand. “Oh, shoot…” At that, Aria laughed. Though part of her pride felt hurt, this was at least a way of breaking the ice. All in all a net gain, she supposed. Wiping her hand with a napkin—and hoping she wasn’t blushing—she replied, “W-well… You were quite capable tonight. I was already close to screaming at some of the customers tonight but you managed to stay calm, even when that little girl pulled your hair.” Aria didn’t reply right away. She looked into her probably empty cup for a while. She had meant to compliment her, but perhaps she shouldn’t have mentioned the hair pulling. Once more, silence stretched between them. Should she apologise? She really hadn’t meant anything by that, and really hoped she hadn’t offend her. The last thing she needed was to start making enemies so soon. Before Starlight could dwell on these thoughts for long, Aria spoke again, “If I yelled at every nitwit who crosses my path, there’d be more deaf people in the world.” It was Starlight’s turn to laugh. “Ha! Yeah I know that feeling. Some people just make you want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them until they understand they’re being jerks.” She paused. “But only those who have it coming, so there’s karmic balance.” A smirk formed on Aria’s face. It was different from the way she had reacted so far, but progress was progress. “So, what’s your story?” Aria asked, catching Starlight off-guard. “Huh?” “Your story.” Aria kneeled and picked up a small red flask. Opening it, she poured more of the steaming liquid into her cup. She then turned to fully face her and pointed a finger at her. “You said it was a fresh start. New job, new school, I’ll assume you haven’t been around for much longer than that. New in town?” She took a sip of her drink. Once Starlight nodded, she continued, “So, what’s your story?” Huh, she was good. “I just decided to live on my own. It’ll be rough, but I’m going to work my way through school while saving money for college!” “College, huh?” Aria said, “Good for you. Looking for an education? Get a big job and live a comfortable life?” “Yup! That's the idea.” Aria regarded her with an enigmatic look. She didn’t seem interested in pressing any further about the part about her living on her own, and at least for that, Starlight was thankful. “What do you plan on studying?” And that was as far as her confidence got her. The smile on Starlight’s face wavered for a second, but that was enough for Aria to notice. The other girl arched an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. “Well, I…  haven’t… uh… decided that. Yet! I still haven’t decided what to study,” Starlight said, the words coming out of her like molasses through a straw. Aria gave a shrug. “No concrete plan?" "I'm pretty sure I'll figure that out once I'm there, but righ now I just want to, you know, get there first and all that.” "So... just college and see where your life goes?” “Putting it like that sounds so reductive…" But true, her mind added, but Starlight tried not to listen to it. She looked away, not wanting to see the look of contempt that Aria was sure to give her. So much for trying to make a friend. “Hmmm… I can relate.” Well, that she hadn’t expected. She looked back at Aria and saw no trace of condescendence on her face. If anything she looked deep in thought. “You’re an ambitious person without a clear ambition,” she said. Starlight blinked. Then she blinked again. Then she realised the level of moisture of her eyes wouldn’t help her understand what Aria meant by that. “I’m sorry?” Aria shook her head. “Don’t be. I can understand what would lead you to be like that.” Despite the annoyed glare Starlight was giving her, Aria continued. “I was the opposite. Maybe I still am, I don’t know. I’m trying to change that.” “Okay, back up a bit,” Starlight said, raising her hands. “I think you lost me at some point, what do you mean ‘ambitious without ambition’?” Aria’s face turned serious. “You have that drive, the desire to achieve success, but you’re not really aiming for anything specific.” She downed her drink in a single gulp, making Starlight wince at the thought of having such a hot liquid ingested so quickly. “You want to go to college. Noble goal, but you have no clear idea of what it is that you want to study. I heard that’s common, but you seem more interested in going to college than actually focusing on what you’ll be learning. You have the desire for big things, but no clear idea of what those things are.” She shrugged. “Maybe, I could be completely off the mark, but that’s kind of what I get from you.” Silence reigned after Aria was done talking. Starlight wasn’t even sure if she was breathing. “Hey, don’t take it personally. Like a said, I can relate to that.” “Can you?” Starlight spat, far more bitter than she wanted. Aria however, seemed unfazed. “I was the opposite.” Curiosity tipped the scales of Starlight’s annoyance. Wondering what she meant, she remained silent and waited for Aria to continue. “I’ve had goals, yes, but they were never mine. Most of my life I was just dragged along in someone else’s plans, never something I wanted. And when it backfired, of course I had to pay the price, too.” Aria’s eyes shone with a melancholic light. “I was kicked out of my… hometown because of that. Lost something that meant a lot to me and my friends.” She looked up at the starless sky and sighed. “After that… being left with nothing, I realised I needed to find purpose, something that held meaning for myself. It’s better than living aimlessly… I hope it is, at least.” The silence that came afterwards felt different than the others. For starters, Starlight was taken aback by how easily had Aria opened up to her. Apart from that, though, she couldn’t help but wonder what kind of life someone as young as Aria had led for her to sound so… wise beyond her years, she supposed. Starlight looked down at the forgotten sandwich in her hands. Somehow, she no longer felt that hungry. “What about you, then?” she asked, and Aria looked down at her. “Why are you here? Still looking for that goal?” Aria’s eyes went from Starlight to the escape door of the restaurant. “Kind of. I’m thinking more short term at the moment.” Aria once more reached for her flask and refilled her plastic cup. “Part of me just wants to do something to reassure myself that I still have some control over my life. Plus, I’m currently living with two… friends. We’re going through a rough spot, so I’m saving up some money and get them some gifts. Just… try and cheer them up and then see what we’ll do.” The light blush wasn’t lost on Starlight, and she imagined it didn’t have a lot to do with the cold night air. Although she didn’t say anything about it, she must have shown her feelings somehow, seeing how Aria grew flustered when she looked at her. “I know it’s dumb, okay? I just want to cheer them up a bit. We’re in the same boat. Neither of us know what to do and we’re just trying to lay low for a while. I just want to make sure they’re not getting too depressed. This is usually more of Sonata’s kind of thing, but even she has been feeling down lately.” It was then that Aria seemed to realise she had been getting emotional. She gave a scoff and leaned back on the wall, making a good effort at seeming disinterested. “N-nevermind…” Who would’ve thought she could pull off the cutesy look. Still, Aria’s words had stirred some thoughts in Starlight’s mind. She couldn’t say she fully empathised with her situation, but… Well, she was new in town and felt a bit lost, still. Aria had her friends, but Starlight didn’t have anyone. Yet. “No, you’re… You’re right, Aria.” Once her blushing died down, Aria looked at her with an inquisitive expression. “My dad kinda said the same to me not too long ago. We, uh, had a disagreement about what I wanted in life. It’s kind of why I left and started anew here.” She smiled at Aria. “Gotta convince myself I still have some control over my life.” Neither said anything else for a while, but eventually Aria chuckled. “Yeah… I get that.” Starlight didn't feel she had made the wrong choice by leaving, but she had to admit she had been acting more towards short-term goals rather than any real plan, just like Aria had said. She looked up to see the other girl screwing the plastic cup back into the flask. Her eyes drifted towards her own forgotten sandwich and frowned. If she was going to spend her time in a new city, it would at least do her some good to have company. “Hey, wanna grab a bite after work?” Starlight asked, not pausing to think about it. “I mean, our break is about to end, and I don’t think a sandwich was going to fill me anyway.” Aria looked at her with a blank look before the ghost of a smile passed across her face. “Sure,” she said, “but we’re not eating here. I’m pretty sure the cook is under the influence and overcooks the pasta more often than not.” Starlight laughed. And in that laughed was a small kindling of hope that perhaps she had made a friend.