> Equestrian Fables
>  by KrisSnow
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> Chapter 1
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A selection from "Equestrian Fables: Stories For Fillies and Colts. Fourth Edition".


# Why Celestia Isn't Queen #

Long ago, back in the old country of Eohippus, the unicorns ruled the land and controlled the sun and moon. King Zodiac was the ruler at one point, and he was a mighty wizard who had personally vanquished a rampaging Ursa Major. But that was in his early days. As he grew older, he handed over the job of running things to Prince Terminus, but kept his crown for the rest of his life.

So, over time, it became a tradition that the King or Queen was in charge of the country, but that all the work was really done by a Prince or Princess. In good times that system helped a beloved ruler retire in peace and keep their wealth and respect -- or even step in occasionally to make a decision that would make the real ruler too unpopular. In bad times, it was a way to encourage a stupid or cruel ruler to go away with dignity. The ones who had the most parades and the fanciest clothes were the least popular Queens and Kings, enjoying all the money and servants they had but not doing much harm.

When our beloved Celestia and Luna became the rulers of Equestria, centuries later, they were each offered the title of Queen. But someone explained to them that the offer was meant as a courtesy, and that if they were really going to rule, they shouldn't take it. Instead, they wisely decided to call themselves each a Princess. To this day, the land has no King or Queen.


# The Reasonable Village #

This happened during the Chaotic Age. You've never had to see what a bad time that was, but Discord was in charge and he was just as evil as anyone says. Most of the land was his personal toy chest. The day and night happened at random, the farms grew food or bears or exploding glass sculptures, and generally no one had any idea what to expect. To this day no one is sure how long that age lasted.

There was one town that was different. It was called Everypony. Discord had ignored the place for as long as anyone could remember. The village elders said that this was because they were so reasonable. There was no Prince or Princess who might be driven mad to make horrible decisions. The ponies made the farms and weather mostly behave. It was a boring place, everyone said, and that made it safe.

The peace started when the people decided that they'd be ruled by everypony, all together. That is, every day the whole town would gather, and whatever most of the ponies wanted would become a rule for everypony. They'd say, "The pegasi should start winter now, if those ferrets will stop falling from the sky," and the pegasi would go do that. They'd say, "everyone should come and work on a new barn," and everyone would have to do it. So long as a majority wanted it, that is.

Over the years the rules started to take up more and more of the people's time. The meetings would go on for longer, but it wasn't just that. A majority voted that the farmers should hand over more of their food to the pegasi. The earth ponies got mad about this rule and joined with the unicorns to vote that the pegasi should have to carry mail for them to distant lands, right through the chaos around the village. This was dangerous, frightening work, but the pegasi all had to do it because Everypony said so. The pegasi started losing people, and voted with the earth ponies to force all the unicorns to spend all their time making enchanted armor for the pegasi. And so on.

When Discord finally showed up, he had a long, evil laugh at how much suffering and oppression Everypony had been able to inflict on itself without any help from him. So today, we try to make sure that nopony can order others around just because a majority says so -- which is part of why we need a Princess or two.


# The Invader From the World Beyond #

One of the things our beloved Princesses do for us is protect the land from awful monsters. Some are slobbering beasts with fangs like mountains and live dragons for earrings. Some are smart and sneaky, trying to eat colts and fillies in their beds. But some monsters come from very, very far away, and even our rulers don't know quite what to do with them.

Princess Celestia met one of them not too long ago. And this story comes from someone who heard it from Celestia herself! The monster was two-legged like a slender minotaur, and had grasping hands like a griffin's forelimbs, and hardly any hair except for a beautiful brown mane. She was wrapped up in clothes, and she was sleeping. On a high tower balcony of the palace!

"What are you?" said Celestia, standing back and ready to blast her with magic.

The creature woke up and looked startled. "What? Where am I? Equestria? How can I be <i>here</i>, of all places? Oh, I must be dreaming. It's nice to meet you, Princess! Glad to see you're not pink."

Celestia had never seen this sort of creature before, and wasn't sure what to think. Her magic told her that this visitor was from a whole other world. "Where are you from? What sort of place is it?"

The monster's little muzzle quivered and she looked ready to cry. "There is... much more fighting, and many awful things you've never seen. There are no pegasi to control the weather, no unicorns to heal the sick, and no earth ponies to grow crops reliably. And when there isn't enough food or water or land, the people fight because otherwise, they would starve. And they find many other reasons to hurt each other."

Celestia was moved to comfort her, but restrained herself. If the creature came from such a dangerous world, wasn't it a monster that she should banish or turn to stone? She said, "Then, are you here to ruin this world as well?"

"No!" said the creature at her hooves. "It's not ruined; it's not that bad! Without wings, my people flew to the moon. Without magic, they figured out how to grow food and heal people and do many other things. And without magical princesses to guide them, sometimes they fought to set people free and to make the world safer."

And then the invader said something that shocked Celestia even more. "And... they are the reason <i>your</i> world exists. I grew up watching an early version of it, and... well, I became a storyteller with an interest in it."

"How can it be that your world created this one?" Celestia asked. The invader started to talk with her about all sorts of magic, which neither you nor I would understand. The more they talked, the more that Celestia grew troubled, because it seemed that the invader's whole world surrounded Equestria and all the lands beyond. It was as though we were all being watched by monsters from that dark world beyond.

The monster said, "But we can never come here. At least, I don't think so. I must be dreaming. And I must say it's a wonderful dream." She smiled. "Although it might have been fun to have hooves here, and fit in better."

Celestia felt that she understood this creature now. She was not evil, and neither was the place she came from. Just as a bright light casts a deep shadow, it seems that a place with problems much worse than our own can inspire people to create things we can hardly imagine. Perhaps the creature's theory was right, and our world is one of those things made by the monsters.

So Celestia sent for her sister, and they made a pact that these outsiders could visit Equestria in their dreams. You might see them sometimes, in the form of ponies you feel like you know but can't quite remember. If the story is true, the strangers are monsters from another world -- but they're not bad people. If you meet somepony who doesn't seem to be from around here, say hello and show them around! Maybe you'll be helping to make their world a little brighter, and safer for us to visit someday.


# The Pony Who Was All Wrong #

There once lived a pony named Spud, who was all wrong. That's what she thought, anyway. She traveled to Canterlot from far away and asked to see Celestia, saying only that she needed her help. There are many ponies who come to see her, of course, and she is very busy. So it took weeks and weeks for Spud to be brought before the Princess to say, "I'm all wrong. Can you fix me?"

"How do you mean?" asked Celestia.

Spud pointed to her mark, a humble potato. "I come from a long line of farmers. I got my mark because I'm good at growing potatoes. But I <i>hate</i> potatoes! And I'm only an earth pony and all my friends are unicorns who get to have magic, or pegasi who get to fly! And I'm a mare, but I want to be a stallion who's big and strong and gets to rescue mares in distress! And I'm boring brown and red, instead of some interesting color. And my hooves aren't the fancy shaggy kind; look, you can hardly tell they're there." She said this all in one breath.

The Princess reared back on her hindlegs, startled by all of Spud's complaints. "Now, Spud, earth ponies aren't any worse than other kinds. And potatoes might not be the most exciting food, but they're very important and can be delicious with the right cooking. I rather like your colors and your hooves. And there are certain advantages to being a mare that I'm sure you could discover with a little more confidence."

"But none of that is what I <i>want</i>!" said Spud. "With all your magic, can't you fix even a few of the things about me?"

"If I could do that, wouldn't everypony in the land come to me the next day and start asking for the same sort of thing?"

"Not if everypony had to earn it! I'll work for you or do whatever you ask. I'll prove I care more about getting your help than someone who only walks in wishing for a different mane color."

Celestia gave Spud a quest to see whether she was serious. She pointed toward the waterfall that comes from above Canterlot. "Go to the High March, in the direction of the changeling lands, with a unicorn and a pegasus for safety. Bring me one of the wyld-flowers that grows on the border. If you want to give up on this task, you may."

Now, there are other stories for colts and fillies that are a little like this one, but those are from other ponies and are rather silly. Those ponies would tell you that Spud went on her journey and discovered that she was the most useful of all her friends, because of her connection to the earth, her endurance, and an urgent need to identify edible plants. Instead, what happened was that Spud and her friends battled the changelings and uprooted some of the magic that they use to nibble at the fringes of our world. They came back safely, although her unicorn friend had grown cloven hooves like a deer. The three presented the shimmering, ever-changing wyld-flower to the Princess.

Celestia asked Spud if she had learned a valuable lesson about accepting who she was and the talents she'd been born with. Spud said, "Of course not, your majesty. I learned how great my friends are, and how scary the Fair Folk are, and a fair bit about mountain climbing, but that's all."

Celestia shrugged, saying, "I suppose my little plans don't always work. You did earn a favor from me, though. Shall we roll some dice to decide what you'll become, then?"

"What?" asked Spud. "Can't I choose?"

"No; that would be too easy and would let everyone make the same sort of demands. You could end up as a purple mule with yellow polka dots and a gigantic chin and a talent for cheese, you know. Are you sure you're not happy enough with what you are now?"

But Spud would not give up. "Roll the dice, please, your majesty."

Celestia granted Spud's wish. While it might be wicked to suppose our Princess cheated, it so happened that the dice called for a handsome blue pegasus stallion, with a talent for adventuring. So Celestia let magic wash over Spud and transform her. And now you know where the hero called Fetch Quest came from, and why it might not be so bad to want to be something else.

But if you're somepony who wishes for a different talent, or for wings or a horn or for something like that, you might want to be careful. The Princess asked the new hero to do many difficult things, and those who followed in his wake were also sent on dangerous journeys to prove how much they cared. If you don't think you could be as brave as the stallion in "Fetch Quest and the Forty-Two Pieces Of the Broken Wand," maybe you should learn to be content with what you have!


# Ponytemkin Village #

In Eohippus, before we came to Equestria, there was a foalish Prince named Gem Egg. He loved jewelry of all kinds, and used far too many of the pegasi and unicorns to search for treasure. In fact, with so few fliers to protect the borders, monsters roamed the land. With so few unicorns working the smithies, the earth ponies' tools grew dull and broken. So the land grew poorer, even as Gem Egg had fine decorations made for his palace.

The Prince got the idea in his head that he should tour the land, because he was convinced that it was prosperous and lively. After all, wasn't his palace looking lovely? Weren't the ministers and duchesses and tax collectors and courtiers splendidly dressed and pleased with themselves? The Prince announced his tour on short notice.

In fact, the land was poor from all the wealth and work the Prince had taken for himself. The Prince's chief minister, Silver Tongue, was in a panic. If the Prince saw what was wrong, he might stop taking so much and the easy, rich days at the palace would be over. So, Silver Tongue had a traveling theater troupe hurry to build their most amazing show ever.

When the Prince arrived at his first stop, he saw a colorful little village with cheerful ponies whose clothes looked almost like costumes. Gem Egg trotted right through the town without even noticing that the buildings were hardly more than stage sets, with no rooms behind the fronts. The minister breathed a sigh of relief; he'd tricked the Prince.

The tour went on throughout the land. Gem Egg talked constantly about how happy the villagers seemed. They were touring the same false village over and over, just rearranging the buildings and repainting a few things to make it seem different. The Prince kept his head held high with pride at how many equally beautiful towns there were in his country, with such equally well-dressed and courteous villagers. Whenever Gem Egg had the slightest suspicion, Silver Tongue was there with an excuse. Before long the Prince grew tired of being carried around, and returned to his palace of jewels.

And his first order on returning was, "Silver Tongue, bring me that acting troupe with that moving town of theirs."

"Sire?" asked the advisor, suddenly sweating. The Prince was not quite as foalish as he'd seemed! Silver Tongue feared he might be banished or worse for his trickery.

"It was a marvelous show!" said the Prince. "Now that I can see happy villagers whenever I want, why do I need the rest of the kingdom?"

Before long, a large number of ponies showed up to crown the Prince as their King. Just as the Prince had seemed to wish for, he was locked into one wing of the palace with as many jewels as he could want and with food for the rest of his life. He never bothered anypony else again.