Twilight Sparkle likes to think of herself as a relatively dignified and respectable mare, with interests and passions that reflect this. So imagine how she must feel when she chaperones Spike to a pro-wrestling show and finds that she loves it!
Twilight Sparkle finds herself the reluctant chaperone for Spike, for a touring wrestling company that has decided to hold their three-night 'King of Trios' tournament right in Ponyville, and despite her friends less-than-positive remarks about the art of sports-entertainment, Twilight finds herself, much to her own surprise and shock, actually enjoying it! What will Twilight's friends think when they find out about her newfound guilty pleasure? And what schemes and surprises does the show's shrewd director, Mike Buckenhoof, have in mind for his show? Look on, dear reader, and find out!
(Author's note: Yes, I know in the comics they had an issue about pro-wrestling, where Cheerilee's twin sister was a famous masked wrestler, and all the mane-6 except for Rarity were into it, but the nature of the comics' relationship to the show's canon is debateable at best, and I'm choosing to not use it as canon in this case)
Spike's voice echoed through the glittering halls and chambers of the massive crystal castle that was his home. It had taken some getting used to, but thanks to some renovations and redecorating here and there, the place was starting to feel like home. He sniffed the air and gave an appreciative sigh as he smelt the distinct aroma of freshly baked pancakes wafting down the hallway from the kitchen.
"Come on into the kitchen Spike," Twilight's voice replied from a few doors down. "Breakfast's ready!"
The young dragon jogged to the kitchen, following the sweet smell of batter and syrup, his charge tucked under his arm as he ran. He had been up at the crack of dawn to complete his first chore of the day: picking up the morning newspaper.
He plopped himself down at the kitchen table, watching with glee as a plate of thick, fluffy pancakes were levitated onto the tabletop before him, enveloped in a lavender aura. Following close behind them, held in a turquoise aura, were a small jug of syrup and some cutlery, laid out expertly by Spike's other house- or rather, castle-mate, Starlight Glimmer.
"'Morning Starlight," Spike said. "How ya doing this morning?"
Starlight gave a smile and yawned. "Ooh, I'm good Spike. Just a little sleepy because somepony had me up all night reading up on the correct form for conjuration of edible fruit, because that's apparently a useful spell," she added with a smirk and a raised eyebrow at Twilight.
"Now Starlight, if being the Princess of Friendship has taught me anything," Twilight replied, "it's that you just never know when you need to conjure up a quick snack out of nowhere."
Starlight simply rolled her eyes and chuckled under her breath, before digging into her own plate of pancakes. Spike and Twilight followed suit, the latter levitating over the newspaper from where Spike had left it, and flipping through it as she ate.
"Anything interesting in there, Twilight?" asked Spike through a mouthful of pancake.
Twilight's magic raised the newspaper up from where Spike had left it and started flipping through it as she skim-read the headlines.
"Hmm, not really. The Mayor dedicated a new gazebo in the park the other day... The Rich family are in talks to open a new Barnyard Bargains in Trottingham... Ehh, I'll read it properly later. Here Starlight, you want to tackle the crossword?"
She tossed it over to Starlight, who eagerly flipped it towards the funny-pages, where the puzzles awaited, a quill pen already in her magical grip. But she overshot a bit, and found herself confronted by an altogether bizarre image instead.
"Now this is new..."
Twilight looked up from her breakfast. "What is?"
The pink alicorn levitated the paper for all to see, revealing a brightly-coloured full-page advertisement. Bright, bold flashy text filled up the centre of the page, with small boxes of text scattered around the page, with the remaining space filled by headshots of athletic-looking stallions and mares who looked back at them. The ponies' images were gathered together in groups of three, some smiling proudly or confidently, while some were growling, gurning or sneering out of the page. Several wore colourful full-head masks of various garish designs, and a few had their faces and muzzles painted with elaborate designs.
Among the trios of ponies displayed on the page, there was a group of ponies in sinister red, black and white costumes and masks, a trio of ponies whose matching masks appeared to have black antennae sprouting from them and a group of unmasked ponies dressed in what appeared to be police costumes. A strange mishmash of characters filled the top left corner, including a pony wearing what appeared to be a stylised frog-mask under a golden winged helm, a burly stallion with a horned iron helmet one would see in a museum who wore an expression halfway between a grin and a snarl, and a young mare with a bright purple mane, her graceful smile framed by the elegant silver tiara she wore on her head.
There were many other colourful characters scattered about the page, including a trio of masked griffons in black bodysuits and masks with coloured stripes running up and down their bodies, a pair of mares in scaly lycra outfits joined by a stallion wearing elaborate purple and yellow facepaint that only highlighted his glaring yellow eyes, and strangest of all, a pair of ponies whose costumes seemed to be based on, of all things, ice-cream cones. The whole thing seemed to have a similar presentation to the front-cover of a comic-book.
"'Starting at 7pm tomorrow evening, Equestria Wrestling Entertainment is proud to present wrestling's premiere event, the King of Trios Tournament, in Ponyville Town Square'..." Starlight read aloud. "'Three nights of high-flying, hard-hitting, side-splitting wrestling action, as sixteen trios of the greatest wrestlers from EWE's roster and beyond, compete for the prestigious title of the King of Trios...'"
Twilight peered over at the paper with curiosity. "A wrestling show? Here in Ponyville?"
"There's more," Spike took over from Starlight, reading aloud in a tone much more excited than Starlight's. "'Watch in awe as Equestria's finest take to the air and find out who is the highest-flying wrestler of them all in the Rey De Voladores mini-tournament. Duck and cover as 10 teams clash in the Tag-Team Gauntlet. And best of all, families are welcome as everypony under 12 years of age enter free with a paying adult.' Cool!"
Starlight frowned. "Huh, I'll be honest, I had no idea wrestling was still a thing. I remember some of the colts and fillies back in my hometown were super into it when I was a little filly, but I never really got into it. Were you ever into wrestling, Twilight?"
"No, but my brother was," Twilight said with a reminiscent smirk. "Way back when we were young back in Canterlot, he was a huge fan. Hehe, knowing him he probably still has all his old magazines and wrestling dolls stashed away somewhere."
"Action-figures, Twilight," Spike said, wagging a claw. "Not dolls, action-figures."
Twilight tapped a hoof on part of the text. "It's kind of unusual that they promise that it'll be 'side-splitting', among other things. From what I remember, wrestling isn't really known for its comedy, is it?"
"Maybe they work standup into it? Or slapstick or something?"
"Whatever they do, I definitely wanna see it!" Spike said, clapping with glee. "It sounds awesome!"
Twilight raised an eyebrow at her young friend. "Really? I never took you for a wrestling fan, Spike. Have you ever seen a show before?"
Spike shook his head. "No, but this definitely makes me want to. And what better time than now, when it's right here in Ponyville! Plus, it says right there that I'd get in free if somepony comes with me."
But Twilight was not sure. Even back in her youth, wrestling was never something she was interested in. Her parents had always been wary about Shining Armour watching wrestling shows when they came to Canterlot, lest he get any ideas about moves he could try out with his cadet friends, and she had caught onto the 'sport's' not-so-secret secret pretty early on: That it was all fake. What point was there in fake fighting?
"Well, I'd be glad to chaperone you Spike, but I'm out of town tomorrow," Starlight said. "Trixie is doing a show a few towns over and wants me to help her set up."
Spike turned with eager eyes to Twilight. "Can we go Twilight? Please, oh please oh please?"
The alicorn frowned. "I dunno Spike. Doesn't wrestling seem kinda... Silly to you? I mean, they're using fake names, competing in fake-fights for fake-prizes ."
"It's not fake, Twilight, it's just staged," Spike replied. "Can we at least go check it out while they're setting up?"
Twilight opened her mouth to deny him this request. After all, she had a lot of reading to catch up on today, that simply could not wait. But then Spike did it.
The eyes.
Those big, pleading, puppy-dog eyes that he was oh so good at. How can I say no to those?
She rolled her eyes and gave him a smile "Oh alright, we'll go see what they're doing. I guess it can't hurt to at least see how big the show is-"
Her last words were cut off as Spike leapt at her with a massive hug. "Ooh thank you thank you thank you! C'mon, let's not waste any time. Who knows, maybe we'll even get to see some of the wrestlers!"
Twilight nodded. "Alright, just let me finish clearing up breakfast. Starlight, you good to look after the castle until we get back?"
"Can do. Let me know what it looks like when you do, it sounds kinda intriguing."
Twilight and Spike strode through the streets of Ponyville on their way to the town square. The streets seemed particularly busy for such a day. Then, Twilight noticed. "Hmm, there's a lot of ponies in town I don't recognise... Excuse me, are you here for the wrestling show?" she asked a passing pair of ponies, a stallion and a mare both in matching t-shirts with the slogan, 'Time for a sugar-rush!' emblazoned on it in yellow and black striped letters.
The mare nodded enthusiastically. "Heck yeah we are! We've been following EWE all over Equestria on tour. We never miss a show!"
"Especially when Songbird Starling is involved," the stallion added. "She's gonna be in the Tag-Team Gauntlet as one half of the Rumblebees! Can't wait!"
"You follow the show all over Equestria? Wow, that's... Some dedication you have," Twilight said, trying to sound as polite as possible.
One of the ponies then took a close look at Twilight. "Wait a minute... You're Princess Twilight Sparkle, aren't you!"
Spike nodded. "Yep, the one and only."
The two ponies squealed with glee. "Oh my gosh! I heard ponies say you lived in Ponyville, but I never believed them. It's an honour to meet you, your majesty!" they bowed low before Twilight, who could not help but blush at the attention.
"Uhh... Hehe, that's okay, it's... Nice to meet you too." She said nervously.
"So are you gonna be at the show too?" the stallion asked. "I never would have guessed one of the Princesses was a wrestling fan."
"I'm not!" Twilight quickly replied. The pair looked taken aback. "I mean... I don't have anything against it, I've just... I saw stuff about it when I was a little filly and I've never really been that interested."
The ponies chuckled. "Oho, well this sort of show probably ain't wrestling like you remember it. EWE shows are... Unique, shall we say," the mare said with a knowing grin.
"What do you mean?"
"You'll have to watch it to find out!" The stallion said with a laugh as they walked on. Twilight watched them go with a curious eye. What could that mean?
Finally, having navigated the hubbub of the town, the alicorn and the dragon found themselves in the town square, which was barely recognisable. Hundreds of seats were set up in the centre of the square, mostly on the ground, but the outermost rows were on raised platforms, much like the bleachers of a buckball game or a racetrack. A long raised walkway carved its way through the seats, from a large doorway obscured by a curtain to the centre of the arena, where the ring stood. About as tall as a rearing pony, it was a simple affair, a square platform with a canvas surface and steel scaffolding frame, with large metal posts sticking up in each corner, holding up three cables wrapped in PVC wrapping, stretched taut around the ring. In the centre of the ring, printed on the canvas were the three letters, EWE, standing out in bright white against the blue mat.
All about the arena ponies in simple blue t-shirts and earpieces could be seen milling about, setting up chairs, lights, cables and all sorts of other preparations. A few muscular looking mares and stallions, and even a couple of griffons, could be seen among the staff, looking over the ring and testing the ropes and mat. Many were dressed casually, but several could be seen already in their masks and costumes. A small handful, Twilight noticed, were wearing casual attire, but still wearing their masks. A closer look revealed two of them to be the same bug-masked stallions she had seen in the newspaper ad.
Spike gazed around in awe. "Wow... You could probably fit, like, five hundred ponies in this place!"
"Seven hundred and ninety, to be precise."
Twilight and Spike jumped as a strange voice spoke up from behind them. They turned, and found themselves facing an altogether bizarre sight.
There before them stood a tall muscular stallion, his brown fur and strong build mostly concealed by a pair of black trousers, a heavy green belt and a long, dark coat with a high collar, ribbed in a way that the hem and collar resembled the wings of a bat. His head was entirely hidden under a black mask, with bright white eyes and trim, in a stylish imitation of a praying-mantis' head, complete with a pair of silver antennae sprouting from between his ears.
If Spike's eyes were wide at the sight of the arena, they were the size of dinnerplates at the sight of the strange masked stallion. "Woah... Who are you?"
"It is an honour and a privilege to meet a pony such as yourself, your majesty, and likewise to your little friend," the pony said in a nasally, but powerful and elegant voice, no less dramatic despite being slightly muffled by his mask. He bowed dramatically to Twilight and Spike. "The Grrrreat and Deeeeevious Ultramanetis Black, at your service."
What is it with everypony bowing to me today? Twilight smiled and waved sheepishly. "Erm... Nice to meet you, mister... Black. Uhh, are you performing tonight?"
Ultramanetis stood up. "Of course. The Neo-Solar Temple will be making their mark, not only on the bodies, but the souls of those foolish enough to face us in combat! The King of Trios medallions will be ours before anypony can say..."
"There you are Manetis! Hydra and Crossbones have been looking for you!"
Three more figures approached them from a large gazebo set up outside the arena. A pair of masked ponies strode towards them, one a massive, portly stallion in a costume that seemed to be inspired by classical pegasus armour and a stylised skull mask, the other a far smaller, skinnier pony in a pair of form-fitting trunks and a mask that resembled some primordial sea creature, complete with fins protruding from the cheeks and grinning pointed teeth. The third was not a pony, however, nor was he masked. He was a ram, much smaller and slightly older-looking than the two masked stallions he accompanied, dressed in a simple blue and white polo-shirt with the EWE logo printed on the front pocket.
"Ah, Bryce," Ultramanetis said, waving gracefully to the approaching trio. "I was just welcoming none other than the Princess of Friendship herself, Twilight Sparkle, and her dragon companion here, to our little show."
The ram, beamed and bowed his head respectfully. "Oh really? It's an honour to meet you, your majesty."
Twilight grinned nervously and nodded back. "Likewise." Please can everypony stop bowing to me, it's getting kinda awkward.
"As for you Manetis, our 'little show' is far from being ready to begin, and you guys are cutting a promo tonight before your match. Shouldn't the Neo Solar Temple be rehearsing and warming up, perhaps?" Bryce said, raising a knowing eyebrow at the Great and Devious one.
Ultramanetis nodded. "Very well, Ramsburg. We shall retire to our quarters, to prepare for the night that lies ahead. Until this evening, your majesty, we hope to see you at the show."
With that, and a dramatic sweep of his coat, he led Hydra and Crossbones away towards the gazebo, both of them giving a polite nod to Twilight and Spike as they passed.
"Erm..." Spike watched the trio pass by with a mix of awe and concern. "Is he... Always like that?"
"You'll have to excuse Manetis," Bryce said to Twilight with a chuckle. "Even outside of shows, he likes to stay in character as much as possible. Heck, you can count the number of ponies who know what his real face looks like on one hoof. I'm Bryce Ramsburg, by the way, senior official of Equestria Wrestling Entertainment. So to what do we owe your visit?"
Twilight gestured with her head towards Spike. "We saw your ad in the newspaper, and Spike here insisted we go and check it out."
"Ah, a young fan, eh?" Bryce knelt down to Spike's eye level with a friendly grin. "So little guy, who are you rooting for in the Tournament?"
Spike sheepishly scratched the back of his neck "Well, er, I dunno really. I've never actually been to a wrestling show."
The ram's grin fell comically. "Never? Oh no no, that won't do, you two must come along! I guarantee you a show the likes of which you've never seen!"
Twilight raised a hoof in protest. "Well, that's nice of you to say, but I'm not so sure... I mean, are these sorts of shows really appropriate for a young dragon like Spike here?"
"I'm not that young..." Spike muttered under his breath.
"Oh yeah, we're big on family-friendliness at EWE," Bryce replied. "We keep bloodshed to a minimum, there's no bad language, everything's perfectly safe for our younger fans."
"See Twilight? I won't get traumatised or anything, it's all good. Please can we go? Plleeeeeaaaase?" Spike begged. Twilight was still unsure. Bryce's insistence on the show's family-friendly atmosphere assuaged her fears somewhat, but one nagging thought still gnawed at her: What would ponies think? How would ponies react if they saw that Princess Twilight Sparkle, part of the royalty of Equestria, was watching something as violent and, for lack of a better term, silly, as a wrestling show?
But then there they were again. Those big, pleading eyes of his. The same ones that had gotten Spike his first Power Ponies action figures, and had gotten him countless days off so that he could spend time helping Rarity at her boutique. And he had refined the puppy-dog eyes look to a fine art. Twilight could not help but smile at her friend. Well, if it means this much to him...
"Alright, you've convinced me" she said to Bryce.
Spike looked up at her. "You mean it, Twilight?"
The alicorn hugged him close. "Sure thing Spike. I'll be your accompanying adult."
"Wonderful!" Bryce said, braying with glee. "Oh this is such an honour! An actual princess at one of our shows! Wait until Buckenhoof hears about this, he'll be over the moon! And of course, we'll give you the real VIP experience, your majesty."
Twilight shook her head. "Oh please, just call me Twilight, and that's not necessary, really. I mean, I wouldn't want you guys going out of your way to..."
But Bryce would not hear it. "No no, we insist. If Equestrian royalty is gonna be gracing our show, you'll be getting the appropriate treatment. Front row seats right next to the ring for the same price as standard seating, half price on snacks and merchandise, free photos with the talent, the works!"
"Well, if you insist," Twilight said, conjuring up her coin purse. "I guess I better by myself a ticket then."
A few dozen bits later, and Twilight held a ticket in her magical grip. She could not help but smile at the look of sheer excitement and joy on Spike's face.
Bryce gave her a firm hoofshake. "Pleasure doing business with you miss Twilight, and you too, mister Spike. We can't wait to show you what we have in store tomorrow night, you two are gonna love it!"
Twilight nodded, as she turned to head out of the arena. "I'm sure we will."
"See you tomorrow Mister Ramsburg!" Spike called as they headed out the gate that would no doubt serve as the ticket barrier tomorrow. "Thank you so much Twilight! I know you don't seem that keen on seeing the show, but I'm super excited to see it. I owe you big time!"
Twilight gave him a playful noogie. "Well... I'm just glad you're excited. And who knows? Maybe it won't be as silly as I expect. If nothing else, I have to admire the scope of it."
"The scope of what?"
Twilight froze as she heard a familiar voice speaking from ahead of them. Turning from Spike she found herself face to face with Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.
It is of no doubt that everypony has, at some point in their lifetime, felt the sensation of a desire for oblivion. The all-consuming desire for the very ground itself to open up and swallow them whole. Often these feelings can spring from fear, despair or even something as simple as shame or embarrassment. That, dear reader, is the same feeling Twilight felt the moment she turned around and saw her friends, watching as she exited the makeshift arena for the Equestria Wrestling Entertainment show.
"Hey guys!" Spike said with an eager wave.
Rarity politely waved back. "Hello you two. My my, this just sprung up overnight, didn't it! It certainly looks impressive, what's this all about?"
"Oh, it's nothing, really," Twilight muttered, scuffing the dirt with a hoof. "J-just some show that's come to Ponyville or something, so Spike and I thought we'd see what the fuss is all about..."
"And getting tickets too, from the looks of it," Rainbow Dash interrupted as she noticed the pair of tickets held in Twilight's magical grip.
Spike nodded. "Heck yeah! We showed up to have a look around, and they gave us the full VIP package! Heh, I guess being a princess has its perks, eh Twilight?"
Twilight nodded. "Heheh, yeah, I guess so." Please don't let them find out, please don't let them find out, please don't let them...
"Aww, how sweet!" Pinkie chimed in, "The two of you off to see a show together. Does it look like... whatever this is, is gonna be fun?"
"Oh yeah, I've never been to a wrestling show before!"
Dangit Spike.
The silence was tangible. Even through her closed eyes, Twilight could feel the judging gazes of her friends.
" So, when you say 'wrestling'," Pinkie Pie asked, "Do you mean actual wrestling on a mat with pins and points and stuff, or... 'professional wrestling'?"
"Yeah, 'professional'." Rainbow echoed, air-quoting with her hooves.
Spike held up the newspaper, opened to the full-page ad that EWE had printed. "See for yourself! Three nights of high-flying, hard-hitting action. And Twilight and I have front row seats!"
Please stop talking Spike, Twilight groaned in her head.
"Oh, Spike," Rainbow Dash said placing a hoof around his shoulders, "You do know pro-wrestling's fake, right?"
"It's not fake, it's staged!" Spike replied, echoing his words to Twilight earlier that morning.
"Heh, you can see Spike's rather taken by it all," Twilight interjected. "You know how kids his age can be."
"Yes, but what about you?" Rarity replied. "Spike I can understand, but I'd never expect someone of your status to be interested in something so... vulgar. "
"I'm not!" Twilight snapped. Her friends seemed somewhat taken aback. "I-I mean, I'm not really a fan, I'm just chaperoning Spike, that's all."
"Ah c'mon Twilight," Spike said, prodding her with his elbow. "You might not be that enthusiastic right now, but just you wait until you see it for yourself, I know you'll get into it. What about you guys, you coming to the show?"
Rainbow laughed. "I think I'll pass, thanks. I don't really get the appeal of watching grown ponies fake-fighting for a fake-reward."
"Or even fighting at all," Fluttershy added. "Why would anypony want to watch two ponies hurting eachother, even if it isn't for real?"
"I dunno, you watch pretend fights in plays and nopony makes a big deal out of it," Pinkie Pie added. "What's the difference here?"
"Yes, but in theatre, the fight scenes don't take up the majority of the play." Rarity shook her head.
Pinkie cocked her head to one side. "Huh, good point."
Rainbow dash added with a snicker, "Not to mention in plays, the actors can actually act."
"Look guys," Spike shouted, waving a claw in the air, "I'm trying to enjoy the fact that I'm going to a wrestling show for the first time ever, could you maybe not ruin the moment for me?!"
Twilight could not help but smile at her assistant as he stood up for himself.
"Oh Spike," Rarity said, tenderly tousling his head. "We're sorry, we don't mean to offend you."
Rainbow Dash nodded. "Yeah, we're just ribbing you a bit. You go ahead and enjoy wrestling if you want, it's just not our thing."
"Yeah, you're a young dragon, you love fantasy stories, comic books, so I can see why you'd love wrestling too," Pinkie added.
Spike blushed. "Aww, thanks you guys. I know you didn't mean anything by it. Anyway, c'mon Twilight, we gotta go get some snacks for the show!"
Twilight nodded. "Good thinking Spike. They might have given us half price on food and drinks, but I imagine it'll still be pretty expensive. See you later girls."
With that, the alicorn and the dragon headed off in the direction of the castle. The other ponies watched after them.
"Heh, honestly I'm kinda surprised it's taken Spike this long to get into wrestling." Rainbow Dash shrugged. "I would have thought they'd have shows going through Canterlot all the time.
Rarity snorted. "Oh please, do you really think they'd allow something so uncouth going on in the royal city?"
"I just hope this doesn't turn out bad for Twilight," Fluttershy said. "I mean, a princess being spotted at one of these shows? I hope it doesn't do any damage to her image as a Princess."
"I wouldn't worry about it," replied Pinkie, as she peeked around the corner of the entrance to get a look at the inside of the arena. "I think it might be good, a princess being seen hanging out at an event like this. Shows the princesses aren't all business, they can have some fun too!"
Any further discussion was halted as a few staff ponies emerged from the arena to begin setting up the ticket booths outside the arena, shooing the four mares off.
Minutes later, Twilight and Spike passed under the wooden archway that marked the borders of Sweet Apple Acres, to see the farm much busier than usual. The dodged to the side of the path and Big Macintosh came trotting in the opposite direction, a cart filled with all kinds of apple-related goods trundling along behind him.
"Hey Big Mac!" Spike waved to him as he passed. "Busy day at the farm, huh?"
"Eeyup!" he called back as he disappeared over a hill and through the trees towards Ponyville.
They continued on towards the farmhouse, where the sweet scent of baking wafted out the windows and the open door. Spike glanced in as they passed, to see Granny Smith hard at work, rolling pastry, taking cakes in and out of the various ovens in the kitchen, stacking them in waiting boxes and pots. Apple fritters, tarts, cakes, miniature apple pies, turnovers, all manner of apple-related sweets and treats, baked and packed in bulk alongside massive barrels of apple juice.
"Howdy y'all!"
Applejack's friendly call alerted them to her approach, as she came around the corner of the house to greet them. Her mane was messy and beads of sweat ran down her flanks and face.
"Hi Applejack," Twilight replied with a smile. "What's going on here? Looks like you're preparing for Equestria's biggest bake sale."
The tan-coloured pony chuckled. "Well yer not too far off. There's some shindig goin' on in town for the next couple of nights, and they asked us to provide a bunch of food and drinks for it. Somethin' called the EWE or somethin' similar, I didn't catch what it was all about. Hehe, I admit as soon as they offered to pay us to provide caterin', I hurried on back home to get started faster than they could say 'pleasure doin' business with ya'."
Spike grinned. "EWE's asking you to provide food for the show? That's awesome! Twilight and I are going to that tonight, we got VIP tickets!"
"Well, Spike's going, I'm just chaperoning him," Twilight added with an embarrassed smile. "Sounds like it's going to be big business for you though."
"Oh boy howdy, yes," Applejack replied, wiping sweat from her brow. "A whole lotta hard work, but they're payin' us handsomely fer it. But I never got a chance to ask 'em exactly what EWE is..."
"It stands for Equestria Wrestling Entertainment," Spike said, triumphantly displaying the newspaper again. "They're doing their big annual tournament here in Ponyville for the next three nights."
"Wrasslin'?" Applejack laughed, "Land sakes, I didn't know that kinda thing was still around! Big Mac used to be quite the fan back in the day. Can't say Granny Smith approved though."
"And... what about you?" Twilight tentatively asked. "Were you ever interested in wrestling?"
She shook her head. "Can't say I was. Not sure I understand the appeal of watchin' a fight when you know it's all an act. But y'know, I have a policy of not speakin' ill of anypony who's a business partner of Sweet Apple Acres, so I'll keep my opinions to myself."
"Thanks Applejack," Spike said.
"Well, whatever the show is like," Twilight said, "I know at least the snacks there will be excellent if you're providing it. We were actually coming here to see if we could get some snacks for the show ourselves, but if you're catering for the show, we might as well buy there."
"Aww shucks, Twilight, thanks," Applejack said, jokingly pulling her hat over her face as if to hide her blushing. "Well, I better get back to work, we still got lots to do before tonight."
"And so do we," Spike said. "Let's see if the merchandise stands have opened up yet, so we can grab some shirts or something before the show!"
Twilight followed Spike back in the direction of town, glancing back at Applejack. "Well, I guess I know where Spike's allowance is going then."
As Celestia's shining sun began to set over Ponyville, a clamour began to grow in the town square, as ponies began milling into the EWE arena and taking their seats. Many carried assortments of merchandise in tow, including shirts, hats, pennants and all sorts. Many carried home-made placards with hoof-drawn images of wrestlers' masks and faces, with slogans such as 'COLONY for K.O.T', 'SEA STARS SECTION', 'GO FURIES' and 'WE'RE READY FOR A SUGAR RUSH!!"
Among these merchandise-laden fans were Spike and Twilight. They had already made their visit to the merchandise stalls, and had not come away empty-hooved. The young dragon strutted his stuff, proudly showing off his Ultramanetis shirt, a simple black shirt with the Great and Devious One's logo printed on the front in a grungey graffiti style. Twilight, meanwhile, went for a far more understated look, a simple EWE-logo cap on her head. The visit to the stand had also proved to be their second encounter with wrestlers from the show, as the stand was being run by the same pony she had seen in the advertisement, with the stylised frog mask and winged helmet. He introduced himself, in a very thick (and obviously fake) accent that made him sound straight out of Stalliongrad, as the 'Thunderfrog', stating that he was fighting later that night as part of the Crown and Court trio. Twilight noted with some curiosity that behind him, rested against the wall, was what appeared to be an enormous warhammer made of styrofoam and wood. She thought it best to not question it.
Twilight wore the cap low to hide her face as best as possible. It's one thing for my friends to know I'm here, Twilight reasoned with herself, but I'd much rather the vast majority of Ponyville don't find out as well.
As their tickets were stamped and they entered the arena, they were greeted by none other than the smiling face of Bryce Ramsburg once again. "Ah, good evening Your Majes- Oh, sorry, I forgot. Good evening, Twilight," he quickly corrected himself with a grin. "And Spike too, welcome to the EWE arena!"
"Hi Bryce!" Spike said, having to raise his voice to be heard above the din.
"Good evening to you too," Twilight added, "Thanks for the warm welcome. Looks like things are starting to heat up around here. Is the show starting soon?"
The ram nodded. "In about twenty minutes or so, if everything goes to plan. Heheh, I see you've already paid a visit to the merch stand."
Spike stretched the front of his shirt to fully display the logo. "You know it! Can't go to a show like this without getting some merchandise."
"Thought I didn't know the wrestlers ran the merchandise stands..."
Bryce nodded, as he led Twilight and Spike through the arena. "Yeah, that's not usually a common occurrence, but here at EWE we like to think of it as a way to let fans have a chance to meet the wrestlers outside of the show without having to pay for the meet-and-greets. Plus, it saves us money not having to hire ponies on to be vendors, heh!"
Before long the three of them had reached the front row, where all that stood between them and the ring itself was a circle of steel crowd-control barriers, that formed a perimeter about two meters away from the ring itself. Bryce hastily swiped the 'RESERVED' labels off the chairs and allowed Twilight and Spike to sit down.
"There you go guys, front row, center, right where the action is," the ram said as he stepped back. "I gotta go now, help the last minute preparations before the show starts, but if there's anything you guys need, just let one of our staff members know."
Twilight nodded. "Actually, I do have one small question. The wrestler that was running the merchandise stand, Thunderfrog... why did he have a giant hammer with him?"
Bryce smirked and winked at the alicorn. "Oh don't worry Twilight, you'll see. Maybe not tonight, but sometime during this tournament, you'll see."
With that ambiguous remark, Bryce bowed one last time and trotted away and out of sight. Twilight tapped her chin with a hoof. What does he mean by that?
"Oh man, this is gonna be awesome!" Spike was positively bouncing in his seat. "I can't wait for it to get started!"
Twilight chucked at his enthusiasm. "I have to admit, that Bryce fellow has done a good job hyping this up for us. I just hope it lives up to the hype."
Maybe it's just the crowds and all the noise, Twilight mused to herself, but even I'm starting to feel a little excited.
The minutes passed, slowly ticking down to seven o'clock, as the arena became more and more full. A steady swell of crowd noise engulfed the arena, filled with excited laughter, cheering, chanting, chatter and the cries of the vendors as they sold their food and last-minute merchandise.
Twilight and Spike naturally bought one of everything when the food trolley came down to the front, the sweet odour of apples and baked goods setting the mouths of everypony nearby watering. With a pile of apple fritters, mini-apple pies, and an apple turnover and bottle of juice each resting on a tray on the arena floor by Twilight's hooves, they munched on their snacks in eager anticipation.
He levitated a microphone to his lips as he raised his hoof skyward with a mighty roar of "LET ME HEAR YOU, FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!!"
The audience made themselves heard, and then some. The crowd around Twilight and Spike erupted into cheers and whoops as the stallion ran down the entrance ramp to the ring, blowing kisses and waving as he went. He trotted in circles in the centre of the ring, soaking in the adoration of the crowd, before levitating from beneath the ring, nothing less than a party cannon. Setting it down in the ring, he pointed it skyward and pulled the cord, sending a blast of confetti into the air to billow down over the arena. Pinkie Pie would be proud.
As the music faded into silence, the stallion once again took up the mic, his booming voice (and yet another fake Stalliongrad accent) echoing throughout the arena. "Good evening and welcome grapple-fans, to Equestria Wrestling Entertainment! And especially, welcome to the one, the only, King! Of! TRIOOOOOOS!"
The crowd cheered and whistled in response, Spike joining them in their revelry.
"You all know my name, but just in case you don't," the unicorn continued, "My name is Party Tsar, because I know where the parties are!"
Twilight audibly snorted as she stifled a giggle at the terrible pun.
After the cheers for his name died down, Party Tsar continued. "We have a terrific lineup for the next three evenings for you all, fillies and gentlecolts, but before we get started, we'd just like to remind you all that this is a family-friendly show, ponies of all ages are welcome here, so help us keep this show family-friendly and refrain from any swearing or naughty language, thank you.
We have some amazing stuff for you here, fillies and gentlecolts. We got the Tag Team Gauntlet, where ten of the finest tag-teams around compete for glory in a twenty-person free-for-all!"
The crowd cheered in response.
"We also have the Rey De Voladores mini-tournament, where over three nights we will determine which high-flying flippy competitor is the high-flyingest and flippiest of them all!"
The cheering swelled even louder.
"And of course," Tsar said as he grinned, "The main event, over three nights, sixteen teams of three will compete in trios matches to determine this year's King of Trios!"
The crowd exploded with noise. How anypony in Ponyville would be getting any sleep with all this din was anypony's guess.
"Who will it be this year?" Tsar continued, exaggeratedly shrugging at the audience on all sides. "Will it be the nefarious Neo Solar Temple? Will it be the strange combination of the beautiful Sea Stars and the sinister Obariyon, the Batiri-Stars? Or Major League Mustache perhaps? Or will it be the Crown and Court? Or The Colony? The Furies? The Legion of Rot? The Blue World Order? The Devastation Corporation? The Odditorium? The Xyberhawkz? The Bruderschaft? The Police Squad? The Oceanic Alliance? The Gentlecolts' Club? The Manedai Mares? Who will take home the coveted King of Trios Medallions this year, fillies and gentlecolts?"
Party Tsar had to pause a moment as the audience erupted in high pitched shouts of "Who!", as if imitating an owl or bird of some sort. Twilight assumed it was some sort of wrestling in-joke she was not privy to.
"Well, my friends," Tsar continued, "There's only one way to find out..." He hoisted himself up to balance on the middle rope, his massive belly hanging over the top rope as he roared into the microphone and the audience roared back.
"The following match is a trios match, set for one fall!" Tsar shouted over the music, and the loud boos and jeers that came from the audience as the music played. "Introducing first: The powerhouse monster that is Tursas! The lord of war, Ares! And the overlord of the BDK, Hammermeier! Fillies and Gentlecolts, I give you your first trio of the tournament, the Bruderschaft De Kreuzes!"
From the curtain, to loud boos and hisses from all present, emerged three figures. The first was a weedy-looking pegasus with long blond hair, dressed in white and grey trunks and a matching velvet cape and hood. Twilight could not hear his voice over the crowd but she could definitely lip read the words 'Shut up' and 'demand respect' from the unpleasant-looking pony's mouth. Behind him emerged two more figures, both much larger and more imposing, one a bald-headed and bearded earth pony dressed in a singlet of a similar design to the blonde pony, and the other was, much to Twilight's surprise, a yak! He wore a mask made to look very much like one of the Yakyakistani horned helmets Pinkie Pie had brought back from her diplomatic visits to the reclusive kingdom, complete with horns and a face guard to cover his eyes, as well as a fake beard made from faux-fur. The trio of Tursas, Ares and Hammermeier stood to attention together on the ramp, doing a gesture that made a cross symbol with their front hooves, eliciting more boos from the audience. Well, I think I know who I'm not supposed to root for here, Twilight mused with some amusement.
"And their opponents!" Tsar bellowed into the mic, "I give you the trio of Big Stevie Cool, Applewood Nova, and Da Blue Guy! Fillie and Gentlecolts, the Blue World Order!"
And blue they were. The first to emerge was a tall, lanky but no less muscular pony with a shoulder-length brown mane, followed by a slightly shorter pegasus with blue sunglasses and a blue bandana worn over his mane, which no doubt matched his blue-dyed beard. And the third was a short, spiky-haired earth pony with a pair of black sunglasses literally painted around his eyes, and a long blue beard that matched the blue crop-top he and his partners wore, and did very little to hide his enormous, wobbling paunch. In short, they were one of the goofiest sights Twilight had seen in quite a while. On their shirts and the pegasus' bandana, were emblazoned the letters 'BwO' in white to stand out against the bright blue of their costumes.
They danced their way down the ramp, high-hoofing spectators as they went, playing to the crowd and doing a good job of hyping everypony up. And finally, once both teams were in the ring and picking who would start for each team, Twilight noted with a smile as a more familiar face clambered into the ring to join them.
"And introducing your official for the match, the ram so nice they named him Bryce, 'nice' Bryce Ramsburg!"
Of all the participants in the night's entertainment, Twilight never expected the referee to get a cheer from the crowd. Evidently Bryce was somewhat of a fan-favourite. He politely waved to the audience, and as he caught sight of Twilight in the front row, he gave a bow in her direction. Twilight blushed and pulled her hat lower over her face.
As the bell rang, and Ares and Appelwood Nova were first in the ring, the fight began. As Spike was enraptured by the show, Twilight took the time to mentally note a few curiosities she noticed during the match. For one thing, the way the wrestlers struck eachother. No doubt from further back it would look more convincing, but from her vantage point in the front row she could clearly see a few clever tricks being used. Stomping the mat whenever a blow was struck to make the strike seem more impactful, using holds and submissions as a brief resting moment for the competitors, always landing flat on their stomachs or backs, often quickly breaking their falls with their hooves. She had to admit, it was all very cleverly done.
Her second observation came whenever the Blue World Order members would play to the crowd, winding up a blow before striking at a dazed BDK fighter. As they wound it up, be it an elbow to the head or a kick to the gut, the crowd would wind up along with them, their chants growing louder and higher until the blow was struck with a mighty cheer from everypony present. There was even a moment where Da Blue Guy and Hammermeier exchanged blows, each blow from Da Blue Guy drawing a mighty cheer of "Yeah!" from the audience while every blow Hammermeier struck caused a shout of "No!". It was textbook showmanship, the likes of which would not seem out of place in a circus or an airshow. Is this common in matches, Twilight wondered to herself, or just something these specific wrestlers do?
"Twilight, watch out!!"
Her musings were cut short, however, as she looked up and saw Da Blue Guy spreadeagled against the ropes as Tursas came barrelling at him. He collided with the corpulent pony with a extended foreleg, sending him up and over the ropes and tumbling onto the floor. If not for the steel crowd-control barriers between the front row and the ring, Da Blue Guy would have tumbled right into Twilight's lap!
"Oh no!" Spike cried as he peered over the top of the barrier. "Mister Blue Guy, are you okay?!"
Da Blue Guy staggered to his hooves, appearing dazed but still conscious. "I'm good, I'm good, just.. Whoo, gotta take a breather for a bit. I think Stevie's got it covered."
Sure enough, as soon as Da Blue Guy had made his less-than-dignified exit from the ring, Stevie Cool leapt over the ropes into the ring and charged at Tursas, skidding to a halt before him and delivering a strong back kick right to the yak's jaw. The enormous wrestler staggered in place for a moment before falling to the mat with such impact it actually caused the ring to shake, and all competitors still in or on the ring (and Bryce) to jump in place as if flung into the air by the impact.
Stevie ran in to cover Tursas' prone form , holding his body in such a way that his shoulders were flat against the mat, making the pin. Bryce swiftly ran to their side and counted, the audience counting along, "One!... Two..."
But just as Bryce raised his foreleg to count the third time, Tursas pushed up, heaving Stevie aside and rolling over, breaking the pin. The crowd booed as the monstrous figure rose to his hooves again. Stevie Cool aimed another kick at his jaw, but Tursas dodged to the side and slapped the lanky pony square in the chest, knocking him flat on his back. Nova climbed into the ring, ready to charge straight into the yak, but halfway across the ring Ares leapt over the ropes and struck out with an outstretched forehoof, which Nova collided with and landed square on his back, writhing in apparent agony.
Both his partners in peril, Da Blue Guy tried to climb into the ring, but did not take into account the third BDK member, who came around the other side of the ring towards him.
"Blue Guy! Watch out!" Spike shouted, but it was too late. Even as his hooves were on the bottom rope, ready to pull himself into the action, Hammermeier dragged him out of the ring, clasped Da Blue Guy's head between his forehooves and butted him square in the forehead. Or that was how it was supposed to look, as Twilight's keen eyes noted that their heads never actually made contact. But just the same, Da Blue Guy reeled back, falling against the apron of the ring and slumping down to the floor. Nothing could be done about this blatant violation of the rules, as Bryce's attention was occupied by the two BDK members in the ring already.
With all three BWO members prone, Hammermeier entered the ring, Bryce shouting at them all the while that only one was allowed in the ring at any time, but they paid him no heed. Instead, Ares and Hammermeier picked up Applewood Nova off the mat, hoisting him up by his forelegs into the air in a crucifix position. The crowd began to shout in dread and recognition as the BDK set up the move.
"They're going for Ragnarok!" Twilight heard ponies shouting.
Hammermeier made the cover and Bryce made the count. Stevie Cool desperately launched himself at the pin in a feeble attempt to break it up, but it was too late. Bryce's hoof came down a third time, and that was it.
The bell rang out and the crowd booed as the BDK triumphantly rose to their hooves as the victors. Bryce briefly raised Ares' front hoof into the air, a look of disgust on his face, before rushing to Nova's side to check on the prone pegasus. Even as he did Ares pushed him aside and planted a hoof on Nova's chest, as he and his teammates made their cross-shaped salute in the ring once more, to the boos and shouts of the audience as their music played once more.
Party Tsar's voice echoed through the arena once more. "Here are your winners, moving onto the quarter-finals, the team of Ares, Tursas and Hammermeier, the Bruderschaft Des Kreuzes!"
They marched up the ring, bruised and battered, but no less imposing, as their music faded into silence, leaving only the Blue World Order members, gathering themselves and nursing their wounds.
But the crowd cheered them all the same as they rose unsteadily to their feet, chanting "You still got it!" as they raised their forelegs in recognition and headed up the ramp and out of sight.
"Man, that was awesome!!" Spike said as he finally returned to his seat. "Not bad for the first match of the night, eh?"
"It certainly was... something," replied Twilight. "I will say one thing: I didn't expect somepony with Blue Guy's... erm, build, to be quite so agile. He did some impressive stuff in there."
"I wonder who's next?" Spike said, eagerly leaning forward in his chair.
As if on cue, Party Tsar hauled himself up into the ring, waiting patiently for the applause and cheering to subside before pulling out his microphone.
"What an opener, fillies and gentlecolts! What a fantastic opener, and with that, the Bruderschaft go through to the quarter finals. But who will their opponents be? Well, save those bathroom breaks and trips to the snack stands for later, because we're about to find out!"
Twilight sat back, musing on the previous match as Tsar introduced the next two trios to face off. On one hand, it was difficult to take the fight all that seriously, since one team doing over-the-top 'we're the bad guys' salutes and the other included a competitor simply called 'Da Blue Guy'. But even with the ridiculousness of the competitors, she found she could not help but admire their athleticism, and especially their stamina. I may not have been in alot of fights myself, she thought to herself, but I've been in enough to know it does take it outta you.
The first team to emerge for the next match was the Gentlecolts' Club. By the name, Twilight half expected them all to come out in tweed singlets and neckties, or monocles. What she got, however, was far from that. The first to emerge was a tall shaven-headed and bearded donkey in a pair of black trunks, followed by a grinning and preening stallion in very tight-fitting black pants, and strangest of all, some vaguely equine-looking creature, whose exact nature was difficult to determine due to them being completely covered in a large green ghillie-suit. Party Tsar introduced them as Drew Mule-ak, DUSTIN (the colt of a thousand ring-names, as he was introduced), and the Swamp Monster. A less gentlecoltly trio would be difficult to find. But I bet I'll see one soon, Twilight thought with a grin.
Their opponents emerged as the Gentlecolts took up their positions on one side of the ring: The Manedai Mares, introduced as Chisako, Satomura and Miyagi. By their names and appearances Twilight could tell they were all from Neighpon, a small island-nation of ponies far East of Equestria. It was, regretfully, one of the few pony nations that Twilight knew very little about, since the Neighponese had for the longest time been a very reclusive civilisation, only opening their ports to traders and visitors a few centuries ago.
Still, if this night was nothing else, it was certainly insightful. Judging by the Manedai Mares' reactions to seeing Spike watching them from the front row, it would seem that dragons are not so much feared as they are revered in Neighponese culture. But something else caught Twilight's attention: So, is it normal in wrestling for mares to fight stallions, she asked herself, scratching her mane as the match began. I don't recall seeing anything like that in Shining Armour's old magazines.
But her doubts were put to rest as the Manedai Mares laid into the Gentlecolts' Club with furious intensity. Mule-ak held his own against Satomura impressively, striking at her haunches over and over again, but the mare gave as good as she got, striking back with slaps and kicks that sent the donkey reeling. The Swamp Monster put up a valiant fight both on the outside and inside of the ring, especially considering that he was wrestling while in a ghillie-suit, but he apparently had a distinct advantage over the Mares. Twilight noticed with a chuckle that every time one of them held him in a chokehold or submission hold, they eventually let go of their own accord, grimacing and shielding their muzzles. Of course a creature from a swamp would stink.
DUSTIN found himself in the ring facing the wild-eyed Miyagi, who snarled and lunged at the stallion like a wild animal, until she finally had him up against the ropes. She reeled back and swung at DUSTIN's chest with a forehoof, and the only thing louder than the resounding slapping sound, was DUSTIN's girly scream of pain, followed by a sympathetic "Oohhh!" from the audience. She slapped him again, and again, and his screams only grew louder and higher-pitched, until Bryce finally intervened, forcing them off the ropes and back to the middle of the ring.
Finally, as Satomura squared off against the Swamp Monster a few minutes later, she leapt off the top rope at the waiting Swampy, she wrapped her hind legs around the pony's shoulders and leaned back, twisting her body around and sending the ghillie-suited stallion flying headfirst over her to land sprawled on the mat. Dashing over to him she held him down, and the pin was counted. The Manedai Mares would move on to the next round, one step closer to the coveted King of Trios medallions.
As they vacated the ring to the wild applause of the crowd, they stopped once again before Twilight and Spike, bowing once more and grabbing Spike in a bonecrushing hug. "Arigatou gozaimasu , doragon-san!" Chisako said gleefully. "Thank you!"
"Uh... you're welcome, I guess," Spike said, glancing over uncertainly at a giggling Twilight. "Not exactly sure what I did, but you're welcome."
Satomura grinned. "In Neighpon, dragons are considered lucky, noble creatures. So seeing a dragon before a match is surely a good omen."
"You know," Spike said as Chisako finally let go of him, "Moving to Neighpon suddenly sounds like a pretty good idea."
"That was a really impressive match you guys put on there," Twilight said, shaking Satomura's hoof.
The muscular mare smiled. "Thank you so much! Please, after the show do visit us, we will be in the merchandise area."
"I'll be there," Twilight replied, waving as the three Mares made their way back up the entrance ramp and back behind the curtains.
As the night wore on, the matches continued, proving to be quite an impressive spectacle. The Odditorium, a trio with a sort of evil circus gimmick, faced off against the similarly bizarre Ocean Alliance, three masked ponies whose characters were all based on sea-creatures: Hermit Crab (complete with a large shell-shaped backpack), a Cajun-accented pony named Crazy Crawdad, and a truly massive stallion in a green outfit and mask that evoked the terrifying piranha, introduced simply as Merlok. Through various circus-themed acts of chicanery (including the sinister mime character Qefka the Quiet 'locking' the Ocean Alliance fighters in an invisible box and their clown leader Kizzarny stunning them with sudden blasts of hidden streamers and confetti straight to the face) it seemed as if the Odditorium would come out on top. But while Crab and Crawdad were easy enough to subdue, nothing they tried could put Merlok down. The monstrous masked stallion mowed through them with sheer brute force and brutality, easily making the pin on Kizzarny after flattening him with a splash-attack from the top rope.
Up next were the Police-squad, a trio whose name said everything there was to know about their theme, were taken down by the Batiri Stars, a strange teaming of sisters Siren Vox and Delmi Equinox, who shared a look and mannerisms that seemed to evoke simultaneously imagery of the sea, and outer space (which was shared by their tag-team name, the Sea Stars), and a stallion named Obariyon, a grim-looking pony with tattoos on his arms, and a face covered in sinister black, purple and yellow facepaint, that only served to highlight his pale white eyes. The match itself was decent, if a little quick, but it became obvious that was not the focus, as Twilight watched the Batiri-stars' victory celebration be interrupted by the return of Merlok at the top of the entrance ramp. Equinox and Siren glared at Merlok with nothing less than raw hatred in their eyes. The aquatic-themed wrestler pointed at the two sisters and drew his hoof slowly across his throat, before turning around and slipping back behind the curtains. Evidently, the Sea Stars and Merlok had some sort of history.
Twilight tapped her chin as she pondered this, even as the next match began, between the massive and bulky stallions of the Devastation Corporation, and the slender and lithe Xyberhawkz, a trio of griffons in full black bodysuits, detailed with bright neon lines that ran up and down their bodies in geometric patterns, and golden masks with black triangular meshes over their faces. "Say Spike, did you notice the way those Sea Star ponies were looking at Merlok?"
Spike turned from the match. "Hmm? Oh, you mean before? Yeah, that was pretty cool. I think they're gonna be up against eachother in the quarter finals tomorrow now. I guess they're enemies or something?"
"I supposed so," Twilight replied. Seems kind of strange to put so much emphasis on a little moment like that. I thought pro-wrestling was meant to be about the matches?
She scratched her mane. Then again, with just a gesture and a glare, I already know that there's something going on between the Sea Stars and Merlok. It's a good way to add dramatic emphasis to tomorrow's match, that's for sure... She smiled to herself. I think I'm starting to get this wrestling thing...
The Xyberhawkz won the match, with a daring display of aerial prowess, bouncing themselves off the ropes, leaping from the turnbuckles, twirling through the air to land on the much larger and heavier Devastation Corporation wrestlers in all manner of creative ways.
Up next was the humorously-named Major League Moustache, a trio consisting of two blonde-maned and mustachioed stallions known as Trent and Tyler, and a pony who would not look out of place at a baseball game named Dasher Hatfield, decked out in a mask clearly based on the stitched pattern on a baseball, topped off with a twirly black moustache of his own. By the barriers Hatfield led a rousing cheer of 'E! W! E!" from the ponies in the front row, making sure to get as many of the younger fillies and colts to join in.
Okay Ultramanetis, Twilight thought to herself. Let's see what you can do.
Within minutes, she was enthralled. The match was spectacular.
The ponies of Moustache Mountain were no slouches themselves, especially Dasher Hatfield, who used his considerable size and strength to his advantage, especially against the far smaller Hydra, who seemed to believe himself to be far stronger and bigger than he actually was. He tried, and tried again, and tried a third time to hoist Hatfield up onto his shoulders, but he would not budge. And whenever Crossbones would come charging at him from across the ring, the moustachioed stallion would duck under him, grabbing him by his front legs and dragging him up and over him as he slid underneath, sending Crossbones crashing to the mat over and over again.
There was some impressive tag team action as well, as Trent and Tyler performed some impressive manoeuvres together, including one spectacular attack when all three members of the Neo Solar Temple were outside the ring, and the two moustachioed stallions raced across the mat and flung themselves clean over the ropes, front-flipping in mid-air to land right ontop of the Temple members! The chants of "This is awesome!" rang out loud and long.
But even their fanciest aerial moves could do little against Ultramanetis Black, who could not only fly high, but strike hard. After disposing of Trent with a swift kick to the jaw, he came up behind Tyler, pulling himself up into the air by his opponents shoulders, forcing Tyler to rear up, exposing his back, which Ultramanetis planted his back legs firmly into before falling backwards, driving the poor pony into his upraised hooves. With a none-too-gentle shove, the Great and Devious one pushed the prone, twitching Tyler out of the ring, beckoning with a hoof for Dasher to enter the fight with him.
Spike leaned against the barrier once again, shouting up into the ring, "Come on Ultramanetis! You can take this guy!"
And indeed he could. The brawl between Hatfield and Ultramanetis went back and forth, grappling, punching, kicking, raking, leaping, slapping, slamming, throwing everything they had against eachother. A great cheer went up as Hatfield brought Manetis low, positioning him against one of the ring-posts, before running around the ring in a cocky victory-lap, slapping each turnbuckle he passed as if it were a baseball field and he had just swung a home run. But as he came back around, sliding with an outstretched back leg to deliver his 'home run' to Manetis, his masked foe rolled out of the way, and Hatfield crashed right into the steel post, seemingly knocking himself out.
Not wasting a moment, Manetis scooped the groggy and dazed stallion up off the mat. He locked his front legs with Hatfield's, hoisting him high into the air, his back legs pointing skywards, before dropping to the mat and bringing him crashing headfirst down.
Ultramanetis made the pin, Bryce made the count, and it was all over. The Neo Solar Temple were moving onto the next round.
"Yeah! You go Ultramanetis, whooo!" Spike leapt up and down in his chair, cheering just as wildly as the rest of the fans that packed the arena. Even Twilight briefly let her guard down, clapping for the victors.
As the cheering finally died down, Ultramanetis gestured to Bryce to pass him a microphone, and one of the unicorn attendants outside the ring dutifully levitated it before him. "Before we leave I have something I must say."
He turned to the defeated Major League Moustache, who staggered to their hooves opposite them. "Dasher, Trent, Tyler," Manetis continued. "I just want to make it clear, on behalf of the Neo Solar Temple, that you are not our enemy. Indeed Hatfield, you and I are both veterans of EWE, and I have nothing less than the greatest respect for you. You were not the enemy tonight. No, you were merely the one unfortunate to stand between us, and our true enemy!"
Twilight leaned forward in interest. Ooh, another rivalry bit...
"Hallowicked!" Manetis shouted, turning to point up the entrance ramp at the curtain. "You, and your Legion of Rot! You are the ones I am after. There is only room for one openly evil trio here in EWE, and while you may have been with the company since its inception, my Neo Solar Temple have been together long before your pitiful Legion joined forces! And I wish you the best of luck in your matches, if only so we can be the ones to bring you to your doom!"
As if on cue, a most disturbing piece of music came on, filled with low chanting and growling noises, and intense throbbing drums. The lights turned to the curtains and out came the Legion of Rot, to the unanimous boos of the arena. The three ponies were dressed and masked all in red, black and white. The largest, evidently the leader Hallowicked, was also decked out in black spikey armour, his mask designed in a stylised mix of a skull and a jack-o-lantern, complete with a large 'stem' sprouting from the crown of his head. The second, and smallest of the three, wore a similar skull-themed mask with a black skull-shaped helmet over that, introduced by Party Tsar as Frightmare. The third, however, was not skull-themed. Similar to Hydra, his mask had a vast toothy grin and small horns, but in place of cheek-fins, his mask had large pointed ears stitched to the sides. His black tail was tied into a single long braid, with a large spike woven into the end, creating the image of a forked tip. he was announced as the 'Prince of All Goblins', Kobold. All three of them wore the same emblem, three scratch marks forming a crude triangle shape.
"Fillies and Gentlecolts, I give to you, the Legion of Rot!" Party Tsar hastily announced before vacating the ring as the newcomers entered. The two trios of villains stared eachother down, as if daring the other to make the first move. But before a blow could be struck, Bryce jumped between the two, his front hooves held out to block them off.
"You'll get your match," Twilight could hear him say, "But not right now! Out!!"
Breaking the tension between the two trios was broken, however, as a triumphant melody played out from the entrance curtain, and the legion of Rot's opponents emerged.
First came a tan-coloured stallion with a curly brown mane, dressed in yellow trunks and a matching jacket, who wore a look of serious determination on his face. This look was offset completely by his first partner, a small but curvaceous mare who leapt out from the curtains with a wild hyperactive (Dare I say, Twilight thought, Pinkie-ish) grin on her face, decked out in a black and yellow striped singlet and matching furry knee-high boots. Finally the third emerged, decked out in a shining gold and white outfit and white and scarlet cape, his face hidden by a mask designed to look like the face of a snarling cobra.
"And their opponents: The referee turned wrestler, and one half of the Rumblebees, Travis Buckabee! And the other half of the Rumblebees, the sugary-sweet woodland warrior, Songbird Starling! And their leader, the Cobra Supernova, Ophidian! I give to you, fillies and Gentlecolts, the Furies!"
The crowd exploded in jubilation at the arrival of this most mismatched of trios, who raced down the entrance ramp together and leapt into the ring and charged straight at the Legion of Rot. As the two trios clashed, Bryce scurried to the side to officiate the match as the Neo Solar Temple made their swift exit.
As the match played out, Twilight found herself once again in deep thought. So it's not just fighting for fighting's sake. There's actual story to it... This must be why those ponies were so willing to follow the show all around Equestria, seeing every match. It's not that they're just obsessed superfans or something, they're following the story of the wrestlers. All the struggles, the matches, the conversations and speeches. It's all part of one big story. She chuckled to herself. Not too different to me following the Daring Do novels for half my life.
As she lost herself in thought, the match came to an end in the strangest of fashions. While Travis and Songbird had Hallowicked and Kobold preoccupied outside the ring, Ophidian faced off against Frightmare. True to his gimmick, Ophidian moved around the ring with the deadly elegance of a serpent, and as he faced off against a dazed Frightmare propping himself up against the opposite turnbuckle, he was somehow able to wrap his hind legs around his own ring post, holding his body up by sheer core-strength alone. He swayed his body back and forth and side to side in a hypnotic dance as if moving to the music of some unseen and unheard snakecharmer. Sure enough, Frightmare seemed to succumb to the hypnosis, as he slowly rose from the ring post and shambled to the centre of the ring. Ophidian pointed to some far off part of the arena, and a new piece of music began to play: a catchy, bouncy piece of dance music of all things. He paced around the ring, stomping his hooves to the beat until everypony in the audience was clapping and stomping along. Even Frightmare, under Ophidian's hypnosis, began to bob his head and sway to the rhythm. He swayed and bopped, shook and shimmied, dancing under the Cobra Supernova's hypnotic power. Then Ophidian himself joined in, showing off some impressive breakdancing moves, and what was once a wrestling match became a dance-off. Looks like I spoke too soon with those BwO ponies: This is the goofiest sight I've ever seen, Twilight thought, unable to contain her laughter at Ophidian's antics.
But as silly as his strategy was, it seemed to work for Ophidian, as Frightmare danced himself down onto the mat, lying flat on his back as if in submission, as the serpentine stallion slithered over to make the pin. But before Bryce could register the third count, Hallowicked and Kobold rushed the ring en masse, both kicking Ophidian in the side of the head, knocking him off of Frightmare, who sat up with a start as if awakening from a nightmare. The hypnosis seemingly broken, the diminuitive masked pony rolled Ophidian on his back, before leaping into the air above him, backflipping and tucking his hind legs in such a way that when he landed, his knees came down hard squarely on Ophidian's chest. He wrapped the Cobra Supernova up in a pin, and Bryce made the count. The bell rang and the Legion of Rot rose victorious. Despite Travis' resilience, Songbird's speed and Ophidian's apparent magical powers, they would leave the tournament with nothing.
The crowd made their opinion well-known, booing and shouting at the villainous trio, and Spike and Twilight joined in. Hallowicked levitated a microphone to his lips and said in a low, gravelly voice, "One trio down, one Neo Solar Temple to go... Ultramanetis Black, we will see you tomorrow."
Then came the final match of the night. The first trio, Crown and Court, was another odd group of characters. The frog-masked Thunderfrog Twilight and Spike had met at the merch stand, now also clad in a shining golden cape, triumphantly hoisted his styrofoam hammer high as he played to the crowd. Behind him came a truly enormous pony announced as Oleg the Usurper, nearly taller than Big Macintosh, with a wild brunette mane and beard, dressed in a brown tunic and trousers, with heavy steel barding and a horned helmet wresting on his head (and for some odd reason, what looked like a sack of onions slung on his back). The final one of the trio was another mare, a beautiful young unicorn with a purple and blue mane and tail, dressed in a two-piece outfit of dark blue, gold and red, compete with a short silver skirt around the waist. And on her head sat a glittering silver tiara, not dissimilar in design, Twilight noted, to the golden ceremonial crown she would wear during royal functions. A princess character? She was thoroughly bemused.
But her bemusement quickly turned to admiration as she watched the princess pony, whom Party Tsar introduced as Princess Twinkle ('the princess who saves herself'), kneel down by an adoring young filly in the front row, take off her tiara and place it on the young fan's head. The look on the little pony's face as she felt the tiara being placed on her head was enough to make anypony's heart melt.
"Hehe, she looks strangely familiar, eh Princess Twilight?" Spike chuckled with a playful nudge to Twilight.
"Oh come on Spike," Twilight said with a giggle as she nudged the dragon back. "I know I'm kinda famous now that I'm a princess, but am I really famous enough to be getting parodied?"
Their opponents' entrance was heralded by a foreboding low rumbling note. Then there came the squeal of an electric guitar, and the arena exploded with noise. From the curtains emerged three colourfully-dressed and masked ponies. Each of them wore a full bodysuit of similar design, and matching full-head masks, with stylised mandibles stitched onto the sides and long black antennae protruding from their foreheads. One was all in fiery reds and golds, the second was clad in greens and silvers, and the third was all done up in green camouflage patterns, with a brown trim. Twilight noticed with some curiosity that his mask only had one antenna.
"And their opponents!" Party Tsar roared, trying his hardest to make himself heard over the cacophonous audience, "The team of Fire Ant, Silver Ant and Soldier Ant! The Colony!"
As they came down the ramp, high-hoofing everypony they passed, the audience could not stop cheering and shouting their name. Clearly this was another team of fan favourites. Twilight felt a shiver go down her spine. This is going to be an incredible match.
And indeed it was.
Silver Ant displayed a vast array of submission holds, keeping his opponents firmly in place as he put the hurt on them. Oleg used his sheer size and strength to his advantage, battering the ants hither and yon. Even at one point, he stuck his head into his massive sack of onions, pulled out a particularly massive and ripe looking one and, much to the disgust of all present, devoured it whole right there in the ring. As he swallowed the last mouthful of onion something in him seemed to snap. He no longer reacted when Soldier Ant rained kicks and strikes of all kinds upon him, and scooped the ant up only to slap him firmly down on the mat, over and over again. Thunderfrog showed off some impressive high-flying attacks, leaping off the top ropes onto his opponents, but even he could not hold a candle to Fire Ant, who leapt, flipped and splashed circles around the Crown and Court.
That is, until he was caught by Princess Twinkle, who grabbed him from behind by the waist, lifting him high off his hooves and dropping backwards, bringing the red ant down hard on his back.
And then she did it again.
And again.
And again.
And then when Soldier Ant tried to intervene, she did it to him too.
Then Silver Ant leapt in and tried to drag her out of the ring, but she lifted him up and brought him down on his back as well!
She screamed at the night sky in fury and triumph as the Colony was sprawled out all about the ring before her. And from the crowd came the shout of "Suplex kingdom!"
However, her victory was short lived. She tried to pin Silver Ant but only managed a two-count before he kicked out of her grip, rising to his hooves, ramming her to the edge of the ring and flinging her over the ropes to the floor, right in front of where Twilight and Spike sat.
As Oleg and Thunderfrog hurried to help her up, Twilight watched with great anticipation as the Ants rose to their hooves in the ring. Fire Ant gestured to his fellow ants, and they understood. Hoisting the fiery red wrestler up, he stood on their shoulders, and the equine-pyramid hobbled its way to the edge of the ring above the dishevelled Crown and Court wrestlers. Silver Ant and Soldier Ant crouched down and the roar of the crowd came rising in anticipation. Then in one swift motion, The ants rose back up, launching Fire Ant into the air, flipping over to land legs-first ontop of their opponents, who collapsed in a heap against the crowd control barriers.
As soon as they could extract Thunderfrog from the heap, they hauled him into the ring and Soldier Ant made the pin. One three-count later, and the Colony were going through to the next round!
The jubilation of the crowd was deafening, and Twilight could hold herself back no longer. For the first time since the night began, she rose and cheered right alongside the rest of them, hoisting Spike up on her shoulders as they clapped, stomped, whistles and whooped for the victorious Colony.
The Ants gathered in the ring, soaking in the adulation of the crowds, as the defeated Crown and Court clambered into the ring, looking very much the worse-for-wear. The Colony members bunched up, ready for a fight, but they got none. Instead, Princess Twinkle stepped forwards, raising a hoof in a gesture of friendship. Silver took her hoof in his, and the two teams shook hooves with eachother. A welcome sign of sportsmanship between two noble trios.
"Now isn't that a lovely sight," came the voice of Party Tsar as he hoisted himself into the ring. "Fillies and Gentlecolts, one more round of applause for the Crown and Court, ever the class act!"
The Princess, the warrior and the frog made their final bows, and then made their exits. The colony made one last victory lap around the ring, and Spike was left giddy with glee as he managed to get a high-hoof from each one of them as they headed back up the ramp.
Now only Party Tsar was left in the ring. "And there you have it, grapple-fans! Sixteen trios entered this evening, and now only eight remain! The BDK, the Manedai Mares, the Ocean Alliance, the Batiri Stars, the Xyberhawx, the Neo Solar Temple, the Legion of Rot, and the Colony! And by the end of tomorrow night, only four will be left standing. But that's not all my friends, the Rey De Voladores tournament also begins tomorrow, with our first 4-way elimination matches, and who knows what else! Hope to see you same time tomorrow evening for night two of King of Trios. So fillies and gentlecolts, we will see you then! Goodnight!"
And so, the first night of the three-night tournament drew to a close, and the fillies and gentlecolts of the audience began to file out, abuzz with discussions of the matches, the competitors, and what would lie ahead in tomorrow's show. Twilight and Spike hung back for a few minutes to catch their breath, and gather up their merch and snacks to head home.
"So Spike," Twilight asked with a smile. "What did you think of your first wrestling show?"
The little dragon was still positively bouncing about with excitement. "It was incredible! I knew it was gonna be awesome, but that blew all my expectations outta the water! Thank you so much for taking me Twilight, I owe you big time."
Twilight gave Spike an affectionate tousle of his headspikes before pulling him into a hug. "Hehe, glad you enjoyed it. And this is only night one!"
"So, how about you? What do you think of wrestling now?" Spike said with a cheeky grin.
The alicorn scratched her chin with a hoof. "Well... I have to admit, I was sceptical about the show when I first saw it in the paper. But after seeing them all in action... Yeah, I can't lie, that was kind of amazing."
"Glad to hear it."
The two turned around to see who else but Bryce approaching them, and gave him a wave. "Oh, hey Bryce! Great show tonight, you guys were awesome," Spike said with delight.
"Hehe, so happy to see a new fan," the ram replied. "But it's not over for you guys just yet. We have one last treat for you tonight, follow me!"
He headed up the entrance ramp. Twilight and Spike shrugged to eachother and followed behind. And as they lowered their heads as they passed through the curtain, they found themselves in a small complex of gazebos and caravans behind the arena.
"You guys are some very lucky," Bryce said as he led them through the makeshift backstage. "Almost nopony is ever allowed backstage at our shows. But when the boss found out we had none other than the Princess of Friendship in our midst tonight, he insisted you two be invited backstage afterwards for a meet and greet."
They entered one of the gazebos, and Spike's jaw dropped. All around him were the very wrestlers that were competing in the ring tonight. Many of them looked the worse-for-wear, slumped on couches and benches, holding icepacks to bruised and bumped limbs and faces, but they gave a smile as they saw the newcomers.
"Hey guys, listen up!" Bryce called. "I know we didn't mention any meet and greets tonight, but we have a couple of very important guests: I'd like you guys to meet Princess Twilight Sparkle, and her friend Spike. Spike here in particular is a newly-converted fan of you guys, so give him a warm welcome."
Spike looked fit to burst with excitement as the wrestlers gathered around him, shaking his claw and greeting him.
As he chatted and play-grappled with the wrestlers, Twilight leaned over to Bryce. "You really didn't have to do this, mister Ramsburg..."
"But we wanted to," the ram replied. "I had a feeling your little friend would be enamoured by our show, so we wanted to make it special for you guys. Speaking of which, I have someone I'd like you to meet."
He beckoned to follow him out of the gazebo, and Twilight followed. They headed through the maze of gazebos and staff to a caravan that sat furthest back in the complex, with a label on the door that read 'D of F'. Bryce knocked, and a voice called "Come on in!"
They headed in, and Twilight found herself in a large, spacious caravan done up like an office than something one would live out of. And at the far end was a large desk, where a pony was sitting.
"Twilight Sparkle, I'd like you to meet Mike Buckenhoof, Chairpony and Director of Fun of Equestria Wrestling Entertainment."
The pony rose from his desk. He was a stallion that looked to be in his late thirties or early forties, with short brown hair and a matching soul-patch on his strong chin. A pair of black glasses was perched on his muzzle. "Ah, good evening your majesty," he said in a gentle voice.
"It's nice to meet you, mister Buckenhoof," Twilight said, reaching out to shake his hoof. "And it's just Twilight Sparkle, please, no need for royal formalities."
Buckenhoof smiled as he shook her hoof. "If you say so. So, I trust that you and your little friend Spike enjoyed tonight's show?"
Twilight nodded. "As much as I didn't expect to... yeah, I really did. I admit, when I first hear about the show, I didn't exactly have the highest opinion of wrestling shows."
"Hehe, that's always the way," he replied. "I am glad you decided to give it a chance though. Admittedly most of our normal shows aren't nearly this big or grand, but the feeling and style is pretty much the same. As is the talent on show."
"And they are talented," Twilight said with a smile. "I have to give your wrestlers credit, the fact that they can do that sort of performance over and over again is impressive."
"It's not easy to become a wrestler," Buckenhoof said. "Alot of training goes into this sort of work if you want to make a career out of it. Sure, some ponies might be able to get by once or twice just by being fit and in shape, but if you wanna go pro there's alot more to it."
Twilight nodded. "Oh definitely. I could never make a career out of it like those guys."
"So, is it to early to say," The stallion asked with a grin, "Or do you think you can call yourself a wrestling fan?"
Twilight pondered this. Could she really call herself a fan? I can't deny, she thought, it was an impressive show. And I am intrigued to see where things go with that whole rivalry between the Neo Solar Temple and the Legion of Rot. But what would the others think? They don't really seem all that fussed if Spike is a fan, but what about me?
Her musings were cut short, however, as the door to the caravan burst open, revealing a flustered and panting Bryce. "Mike, we got a problem!"
Buckenhoof stood up. "What's up?"
The ram handed a small note to the Director of Fun. "CM Prance has bailed again."
Buckenhoof's eyes scanned the note, his mouth making tiny movements as he read silently. "Unbelievable."
"I know right?" Bryce said with a sympathetic nod. "And tonight of all nights!"
He scrunched the note into a ball and angrily threw it in a nearby bin. "So, he thinks he's above EWE, does he? Well, I hope he finds better luck at some other company, because that jerk's not welcome here anymore."
"What's going on?" Twilight asked, only now daring to interject in the conversation.
Buckenhoof sighed as he slumped in his chair. "It's one of our wrestlers, CM Prance. He's one of the finest talents we have, but he's got a bit of a discipline problem. This isn't the first time he's no-showed an event with us, but he can rest assured it'll be his last time."
Twilight approached the desk. "That's a bit harsh, isn't it? I mean, I have no idea how this sort of thing works in the wrestling world, but don't you think it's a but extreme to kick him out for missing a few events?"
"If only that was it," Buckenhoof replied. "But he left us a note this time. According to him, he's no-showing because apparently EWE is a 'worthless company run by a hack, and will never produce any talent worth talking about.' Well, if he thinks so little of us, he can see how well he does elsewhere, because I'm terminating his contract."
"But what about the Tag Team Gauntlet?" Bryce asked, raising a hoof. "He was supposed to be teaming with Cottonbelly the night after tomorrow. We're down one tag-team!"
"Surely you could just ask some other wrestler to take his place?"
The Director of Fun shook his head. "We've already gathered up pretty much every competitor we could get our hooves on for the tournament, there's nopony left that we could get over in time... Uggghh, why did he have to bail like this at our biggest event of the year?!"
He slumped onto his desk, his head in his hooves. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air. Twilight could not help but feel sorry for Buckenhoof and Ramsburg. Even behind the pomp and glamour of the wrestling shows, they got stressed and drained just like anypony.
"I'm sorry," Twilight said quietly. "I... I wish there was some way I could help."
Then Buckenhoof raised his head.
Bryce looked at him and instantly understood. "Oh boy... I know that look."
Sure enough, Buckenhoof's eyes had lit up with inspiration."I have an idea."
"Yeah, that's your 'I have an idea that's completely insane and stupid, but I'm gonna do it anyway' look."
Twilight smiled. "What are you thinking?"
The Director of Fun stood up, and looked Twilight square in the eyes. "Miss Sparkle, I have a... crazy request for you."
