> The Capacity of Forgiveness
>  by Frenac
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Prologue:  Changing Winds
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


"Just like anypony can smell the sweet scent of Derpy's freshly baked muffins carried on the wind, some will say they can sense the agents of change like a cool autumn breeze." -Unknown


"There is hope yet of claiming Equestria," said the low female voice of a shadowed figure in the center of a dark, drab royal hall.
"What is it, my Queen?" another voice replied, belonging to a set of glowing blue eyes attached to a chitinous grey head.
The shadowed figure of the Queen paced back and forth a bit, rigid hooves clacking against the cracked stone floor. "I believe we will soon have a willing pawn to aid the changelings."
"But won't the barrier block this 'pawn' that you speak of, my Queen?"
The Queen chortled. "Not to worry.  This one won't be a changeling.  It will pass through without any indication of the malice in its heart."
"Of course, my Queen, but I still don't understand.  How do you know of the pawn, and how do you know it will help the changelings?"
"I may not be able to break the barrier, but my magic can reach into places where not even Celestia has ventured." The Queen paused, wide jade eyes shimmering. "Do you doubt me?" she retorted, raising her voice.
The blue-eyed creature's eyes flashed. "No, no, of course not, my dear Queen.  I was only expressing my concern—"
"Then go and bring the other captains.  Don't keep me waiting," the Queen added coldly with a glower.  The captain scampered away without a moment's hesitation.  He seems to question me more than usual.  I should put the fool in his place.
The Queen walked to a window and jolted aside a scarlet curtain with a green flash from her gnarled horn, revealing her cold grey form in the waning sunlight.  She was mainly equine in shape, although like her changeling subjects, she had a hard exoskeleton and a set of transparent and porous wings.  Her long blue-green mane, however, was said to be finer than that of anypony in Equestria.
Smiling devilishly and baring her whitish fangs, the changeling queen gazed out at the land before her.  Beyond the large swathe of rocky wasteland, Equestria taunted her with its bright green meadows and resplendent mountains.  Soon it will all be mine.
~When I was young, had love in my heart,
My hopes were dashed, my soul torn apart
I wanted to believe, know it was true,
But love has rent me through.

Soon they shall know pain,
As all their love we shall obtain.
Oh, how I dreamed since I was small,
To show that 'love truly conquers all'. ~

The changeling queen gave one last glance out the window, then turned away and shut the curtains. "But nopony will ever love a changeling."
> Along for the Ride
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


“Even if you don’t really want to go along with somepony somewhere, you may find you still earned something out of it anyway.” –Skyborne Dream


Aliya sprawled in a plush couch, gazing expectantly through the glass panel across from her and beside the door.  She had just called her friend Tomlin Umali, a journalist, and asked him to come visit.  For the last 15 minutes, she’d been waiting on the couch for him.
Maybe he decided to skip out again.  In another one of those bad moods.  Come on, you said you were coming today—
“Aliya?  It’s Tom.”
“Sorry, I’m coming!” Aliya cried abashedly, hurrying to the front door and unlocking it.  Tom, a tall young man in a drab olive jacket and faded jeans, stepped in and pulled off his worn black dress shoes, then shut the door behind him.
“Did I keep you waiting long?” Aliya asked, slightly nervous.
“Nope.  Just got here.  I made a stop for vodka.  Dulls the pains of life pretty well, I think.”
“What?  You don’t get drunk, do you?”
“Of course I do.  How else is it going to work?  Besides, today’s been a rough day.  I can’t let it go to my head.”
“That’s terrible!  Give me that bottle in your bag then!”
“Only if you’re going to drink it,” Tom chuckled. “But I know you well enough, so no.  I need the extra strength anyway.”
“What’s got you so down today?  Come on, take a seat and talk things out with me.”
Aliya scurried into a dining area and sat at a long rectangular table, where her laptop rested.  Tom followed suit and sat beside her.
“Okay, you want to know?  Some f—” Tom glanced at Aliya and took a swig of vodka. “Sorry.  So today I was asked to write a review on ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’, so I had to watch something like 10 episodes or something.  Worst goddamn waste of my life.”
“Tom!”
“Oh, you’re into that crap too, I forgot.  Anyway, I tried to write a decent review of it, and just a few minutes after it goes up, people start complaining and flaming me, saying it was ‘unfair’.  And you know what, just about all ‘bronies’ too.  WTF, people.  What did I do wrong?” Tom guzzled another mouthful of vodka. “See, no one f—, I mean frickin’ appreciates my work, so don’t start trying to…uh, I can’t remember now.”
Aliya tried to give a comforting smile. “Just one incident can’t make it all bad.  Come on, watch some MLP with me.  It will be better if you watch it with me.  That’s why I called you here in the first place.”
“Oh, god no!  I didn’t come all the way here to dump salt in my eyes!” Tom yelled in shock, jumping up from his chair.
“Sorry,” Aliya sighed. “I’m being stupid right now.  But how about just one episode, one that you haven’t seen?”
“Sure,” Tom groaned, and sat back down.
Aliya flipped through several disorderly videos on her laptop until she picked one named “A Canterlot Wedding, Part 1”.
After the 22-minute episode had passed, Tom stared at Aliya with tired, glazed eyes. “How about the, uh, next part?”
“You what?  You actually enjoyed it?”
“Yeah, better start watching it before I black out,” Tom muttered, shaking the empty vodka bottle before Aliya.
“Here.  Give it to me,” said Aliya as she pulled the bottle from his loose grip. 
“Don’t spill it on the floor now.  You’d better drink the rest of the damned thing.”
Aliya set it on the table and began the next video. “It’s empty, you know.”
“Oh, right,” Tom said, laughing.
As they watched, Tom pointed at the screen and mumbled, “Who’s that?”
“Who?  Oh, that’s Chrysalis, the queen changeling.”
“And as queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects.  Equestria has more love than any other place I’ve ever encountered.  My fellow changelings will be able to devour so much…”
“Tom?  Tom?” Aliya called, while nudging Tom on the shoulder.  He was slumped over his chair, head tilted to one side so saliva dribbled from his mouth.  She brought him upright in his chair and wiped the drool away with a napkin.  Aliya glanced around for a better way for Tom to sit, then finally pulled him out of his chair, dragged him to the couch, and set him down.  She set a trashcan beside his feet and closed her laptop.  Not much point in it now.  Maybe I’ll go to sleep early.
Aliya settled in her bed in her bedroom upstairs and stared at the ceiling.  Why did my parents have to paint it pink?  Well, at least it can remind me of Pinkie Pie.  Aliya smiled and shut her eyes.

> A Very Real Dream
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


“There are wonderful things in this world you just can’t explain, but that doesn’t necessarily make them any less true.  It just means you have to choose to believe in them.  And sometimes it takes a friend to show you the way.” -Twilight Sparkle


Aliya opened her eyes.  Rather than in her bed, she lay on a grassy hill in stark mid-day sunlight.  Beside her, lying face down, was Tom, still as sickly as ever.  Beyond the hill was a bustling town sprawled across the plains, full of half-timbered houses with yellow thatched roofs.  A mellow stream meandered through the town.  Nestled in the distant mountains was a large fairytale castle overlooking the town.
“Could we be in Equestria?”
“Shut up, you’re just dreaming,” Tom mumbled.
“But what if it’s real?”
“But what if you’re just cray cray—” Tom paused to stand up and vomit, forcing his eyes open. “Oh fuuuu—”
Tom discharged another pile of stomach contents.  He paused long enough to look around. “What the hell?  Did someone slip us acid?  Oh, hell, when I get my hands on them…”
“Why don’t you relax and explore a bit, Tom?”
“No, crazy girl!  How the hell do I get out of here!” Tom tore for the mountains toward the castle.  Aliya scurried after him, but soon lost sight of him.
A long dirt path opened before Aliya, slowly climbing toward the mountains.  The stream continued on into the mountains, where it trickled from a stone dam against a waterfall.  To Aliya’s right stood a lone cottonwood tree with a curious dark shape beside it.
“Tom?  Tom!” Aliya cried, running down a hill after the dark shape.  A small brown squirrel poked out from under the shape and quickly fled into the tree.  Otherwise it lay still on the grass.  Upon closer examination, the shape appeared to be Tom’s jacket, a bit damp and reeking of sweat.
A sudden cry of “Yeeeeaaagghh!” from the plains caused Aliya to turn to Tom, face first on the ground.  A puff of fluffy seeds marked his landing.
“Tom!  Are you okay?” Aliya called, dashing to his side and flipping him over.  He only groaned and looked toward the sky.
Aliya glanced upward in response.  A gilded chariot led by two winged white creatures, resembling armor-clad ponies, glided above.  As the two winged ponies descended and pressed their hooves into the ground, the chariot fluttered to a halt.  A large white horse with feathery wings and a long horn rode in the chariot.  The horse’s iridescent flowing mane and golden tiara sparkled in the sunlight.
Aliya knelt on the ground. “Princess Celestia?” she said in a mix of shock and delight.
“Hello, human children,” Princess Celestia said with a smile. “No need for formalities, young girl.  What is your name?”
“Aliya.  And this is my friend Tom,” she said. “He’s a bit drunk.”
“Oh, then we’d better get him to Canterlot immediately.  Come along, Aliya.”
As Aliya stooped down to hoist Tom, a faint whitish glow engulfed him and he began to rise from the ground. “Don’t worry, Aliya, I’ll take care of him,” Princess Celestia said from the chariot, her horn glowing as well.  Aliya stepped into the chariot beside Celestia and watched in awe as she lifted Tom into the front.  Wow…this is Equestria…for real.
“It’s such an honor to meet you, Princess Celestia!” Aliya cried out in joy.
“I’m surprised anyone from Somnis remembers my name.  It has been over a thousand years since I’ve seen a human.”
“Somnis?”
Celestia chuckled. “Oh, maybe I’m mistaken.  Somnis is where humans and ponies once lived and prospered together for several thousand years.  But darker powers took the land sometime over a thousand years ago.  Neither Luna nor I had the strength to defeat them, so we did what we only could:  we fled to Equestria.”
Aliya watched as Celestia’s face sunk. “Of course, when we arrived in the young land of Equestria, we had another evil to face:  Discord.”
“I’ve never actually heard of Somnis.  Tom and I are actually from a place called Earth.  I don’t think it’s part of this world.”
“Earth…that’s odd.  This planet happens to be called Earth as well.  What is it like in your world, if you may?”
The chariot ascended through a sheet of clouds, obscuring most of the ground below.  Aliya gazed at Tom, who appeared a little less sickly, but was still unconscious.  She turned back to Celestia, who was waiting patiently.
“We actually have a lot of the same kinds of flora and fauna, but we don’t generally take care of them like in Equestria.  The weather happens on its own, and there isn’t anything like the magic ponies here have.  This must all sound very strange to you, Princess.”
“No, not really.  Please go on.”
“The cities have paved roads, which we drive cars on.”
Celestia lifted a brow. “Cars?”
“Yeah, they’re…um, how should I describe them…like self-powered carriages?  We use them to get from place to place much faster than on foot.  We also have airplanes to fly us between places, since we can’t fly.  I’m not sure how to describe those, except that they’re vehicles with wings that can carry people in them.”
“Mhm.  Your world seems very different from ours.  That is amazing that you have so much interesting technology without even having magic.  Almost magical in itself, isn’t it?”
Aliya laughed. “I guess you could say that.  But one of the most amazing technological innovations I think is the computer.  It’s a device that can do all sorts of things, from writing to drawing to storing data.  I could go on for hours about them.  I bet Twilight would love to have one!”
“You know Twilight Sparkle, my student?” Celestia asked, surprised at Aliya’s knowledge.
“Of course.  I know about her from the internet, which is a huge network of computers.  That’s how I know all these other things about Equestria too,” Aliya said eagerly.
Celestia began almost to look concerned. “How can you know of another world from a ‘computer’ when I have never heard of this other Earth you come from?  This is all very confusing.”
“Oh, sorry, Princess Celestia.  There are actually probably millions of humans on our Earth who know about Equestria from computers and television.  There’s a show on Earth called ‘My Little Pony:  Friendship is Magic’ documenting the adventures of Twilight Sparkle and her friends.  It’s difficult to explain, but this show is projected onto televisions as a series of animated images.  Most people don’t even think Equestria is real.  I didn’t until just a while ago until I found myself here.”
The chariot landed at the foot of the castle Aliya had seen earlier, its gold and purple spires glistening against the sunset.  Celestia stepped out first and lifted Tom onto her back with her magic.
“Thank you, Stormwing and Starswift,” Celestia said with a nod.  The two nodded and gave an affirmative snort in response. “Sorry, Aliya.  This is so much information to process at once.  Maybe you should talk to Twilight about all this sometime.  I’m sure she’d love to hear about all this.  But I’d better be going.  I’ll have everything set up for both of you very soon, and I’ll have someone check on Tom, so wait here until I return.”  Celestia rushed into the castle without another word.
Stormwing and Starswift stood where they had landed, keeping their gazes directed ahead where Celestia had left.
“So, what do you guys think of all this?” Aliya directed toward the two pegasi.  They simply shrugged with their faces, their huge round eyes betraying no emotions.
“Well, have either of you seen a human before?”
Stormwing and Starswift looked at each other, then turned back to Aliya and stared in her direction.  Finally, one of them spoke:  “We haven’t.  In fact, most ponies haven’t even heard of one.  Don’t be surprised if everypony looks at you funny or is a bit jumpy.”
The other began:  “We can’t really tell if Princess Celestia thinks this whole situation is good or not.  But that’s for her and Princess Luna to decide.”
“Does Princess Luna live in Canterlot?”
“She usually stays in her own keep to the east of Ponyville, overlooking Ponyville and the Everfree Forest.  But she does sometimes visit Canterlot or stay with Princess Celestia.”
“Do they get along well?” Aliya asked hopefully.
“It may not seem that way at first, but they are very close.  As close as two siblings can be, anyway.”
“We believe Princess Luna may prefer more solitude at night than Canterlot has to offer, but it does appear to warm her heart that many ponies do like to be out at night.”
“She might actually be here in Canterlot right now.”
Celestia reemerged from the castle with a small green and blue pony. “I see you got them to speak.  They’re not a very talkative bunch, even around me,” she laughed. “Your rooms are ready.  I’d feel bad to keep you waiting any longer.  Dewdrop will show you to your room.”
The pegasi turned to Celestia. “Usual place, Princess?”
Celestia nodded and the pegasi rode off.  Aliya, Celestia, and Dewdrop continued into the castle.  “You must be wondering about Luna.  She doesn’t know about your arrival yet, but I will tell her and you can meet her soon.  Would Tom want to meet her too?”
Aliya smiled uneasily. “He’s not a big fan of ponies, unfortunately.  I think it’s going to be a rude awakening for him.  I hope Princess Luna will understand.”
“Of course.  I’ll let her know.  But I’m not sure what I can do about that.  Maybe you can try to convince him that everything will be fine.  He’ll be down the balcony from your room.”
“Will anyone mind that we’re human?”
“That depends on who you ask.  You’ll find their reactions aren’t so calm like mine at the very least.  We’ll have to find a solution to that soon, as Stormwing and Starswift have probably told you that humans are more than myth in these times.”
“Thank you so much for everything, Princess Celestia.”
“Oh, it’s no problem, Aliya,” Celestia said, smiling. “Good night now.  I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good night, Princess Celestia.”
Celestia strolled away down another corridor.  Dewdrop looked toward Aliya. “Come on, I’ll show you to your suite, Aliya.”
They wandered through a few purple hallways, through a door to the outside and across a bridge, and then up a stairway to the suite and walked inside.  It was a large room with maroon-colored walls, tall glass windows, a few decorative rugs on the wall, a soft, sparkling clean white carpet, and complete with a chandelier and king-size canopy bed with curtains.
“Thank you, and good night, Dewdrop,” Aliya said as she lay upon the bed and kicked off her shoes.
“Good night, Aliya,” Dewdrop replied, closing the door behind her.  Aliya had already fallen fast asleep.

> Re-envisioned
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


“Isn’t this the natural order of things, Celestia?  Order?  Get it?  Oh, come on, laugh a little, won’t you?  Who are you to say I’m right or wrong?  This is my world as much as yours, Celestia.” -Discord


A cobblestone path opened before Tom, highlighted in the moonlight.
“Follow me, this way,” said a female voice behind him.  It belonged to a hooded human figure in dark leather and a cloak, leaning against a signpost.  Her eyes appeared to glow bright green.
“Who are you?”
“You don’t remember me?” the woman said with a giggle.  She threw back her hood, revealing long silvery hair and elfin ears. “It’s no problem.  You wouldn’t recognize me anyway.  Now come along with me.”
The woman ran ahead toward a tall hill, Tom struggling to keep pace.  The hill almost seemed to grow in height as they approached it.
They scaled the hill and eventually reached the top.  The woman motioned Tom closer.
“Look to the sky.  Do you see any familiar stars?”
“I think I see the Big Dipper over there.”
“Now see the river down there?  If you follow anything long enough, like this river, you’re bound to get somewhere.”
“So what does this have to do with anything?”
“I have to go, so you must find your own way.”  The cloaked woman turned and began to walk away.
“Wait, what’s your name?  Maybe I’d remember your name if I’d met you before.”
Still facing away from Tom, she said softly, almost a whisper, “Chrystal.  Call me Chrystal.”
“No, you still don’t seem familiar.  Sorry if I don’t remember you.”
“That’s no problem at all.  Go along now.”
A yelp echoed in the distance.  Tom looked and saw a few birds flutter out of a tree.  He spun back around.  Chrystal had disappeared completely.  That’s just great.  Fucking great.  I hope I’m not crazy and this is just a goddamned dream.
Tom watched as the sky brightened and the sun rose over the horizon at an alarming rate, and squinted his eyes shut.
“Tom, do you feel any better today?” a voice asked from the darkness. “Tom?  Please respond.  Are you awake?”
Tom slowly and cautiously opened his eyes as bright rays of sunlight began to filter in.  On his right was a…man, no, a grey-brown creature with a large, almost round head, a large squarish muzzle, and huge eyes that took up about half its face.  It appeared to have combed brown hair, a set of glasses, a white doctor’s shirt, and…stood on four legs?  One of those ‘pony’ things.  Wait, ponies?
Tom rolled off his covers and sprung out of his bed.  “Oh, fuck!  Get the fuck away from me!”  He ran to the nearest wall and began beating his head against it. “Wake up, wake up, damn it!”
“It’s just a nightmare, just a nightmare!” Tom yelped shakily as he collapsed on the floor, head pulsing and vision dimmed.
“Tom!”
“Aliya?  Am I awake?” he gasped.
“Of course you are.  And I thought maybe you should meet Princess Celestia.”
“Wait, wait, Princess who?” Tom said, aghast.  He sighed. “You shitting me?”  Really?  So I’m trapped in this fucking nightmare then?”
“Tom!  Watch your language!”
Tom let out a dry laugh. “What, am I going to be struck down and sent to pony hell?  Try me.”
“Okay, Tom, you asked for it.”
Tom craned his head back.  A white horse-creature stood before him.  As he squinted his eyes, he noticed it had a strangely translucent and iridescent mane and tail that fluttered back and forth.  Its head was round like the ‘pony’, but longer and its muzzle was rounder.  It had large amethyst eyes with long black eyelashes, a long horn just above its eyes, a golden tiara, and…a set of tucked wings…with feathers.
“What a pleasure to meet you, ‘Princess’,” Tom said sardonically.
Celestia laughed. “And a pleasure to meet you too, Tom.”
“Ugh…” Tom groaned, struggling to his feet.  He twitched an ear.  Wait, my ears aren’t supposed to do that, are they?  Ah, fuck.
“Take a look at yourself in the mirror,” Aliya said with a slight chuckle.
Tom stumbled across the floor until he found a large standing mirror.  He peeked in it with glazed eyes.  Before him appeared to be the image of a ‘pony’, with an olive green fur coat and dark blue tail.  The pony’s head was round and large-muzzled like the other one Tom had seen, although its mane was a series of webbed blue spines.  Its orange eyes were also large like the other ponies, but the pupils were elliptical like a cat’s.  No, this can’t be me.
“You sure this isn’t some sick joke?”
“Try flexing your wings and tell me what you think,” Celestia instructed.
Tom looked down at himself to find he had two flat round feet.  Really?  This your idea of hell for me, Aliya?  At least I get wings.  He turned and watched as a set of wide, batlike wings unfolded from his back, and flapped them a few times.
“A-leeya…” he growled, “where are you?  This was your idea, wasn’t it?  Not very funny.”
Aliya waved from behind Tom, as he saw in the mirror.  He turned to face her.
“The fu—!  I mean, the frick is this?!” Tom shouted in disgust.  He looked Aliya up and down.  She appeared to be a brown pony with a bright orange tail and a long saffron mane partly obscuring her blue-brown eyes.  Her head was rounder than the other ponies he had seen, but her muzzle was smaller and smoother, tapering like a dog’s.
“Let me wipe that smile off your face for you, Aliya,” Tom said as he sprung for Aliya, who ran for the door.
With a sudden ‘clunk!’, Tom tripped over a velvet-cushioned chair and fell on his face.  A peal of laughter erupted through the room.
“Grrr…”
“Oh, don’t be angry, Tom.  Princess Luna is here to see you too!”
“Ah, hell.  Ponies, ponies, ponies.  Okay, fine, I’ll stop.”
Another pony, somewhat smaller than Celestia, stepped forth.  This one was a greyish blue and had a transparent blue mane and tail that also fluttered on their own accord and sparkled like a clear night sky.  The pony also had a horn, though smaller than Celestia’s, and a dark, nearly black tiara.  Its head was also round, and its muzzle was a bit shorter than Celestia’s.  It also had a set of feathered wings tucked on its back.  The hell?  I don’t know if I can call any of these things ponies or even horses.  Unless I was totally stoned.
“The other princess?  It’s an honor.  Do I get a lollipop now?” Tom said dryly.
“Lollipop, Celestia?” the pony asked, turning to Celestia for an explanation.
“It’s a hard candy on a stick, like what you’ve seen many little foals sucking on.”
“I see.  Your friend thought you would enjoy the company.  I am Luna, princess of the night.”
Tom cackled. “And I’m Shadowdancer, the seeker of souls.”
In the back, Aliya shook her head.  Tom smiled wryly.
“Pleased to meet you, Shadowdancer,” Luna said with a smile.  She took up Tom’s hoof and shook it. “Would you like any help getting up?”
“Not really.”
Luna backed away a few steps as Tom pushed himself to his feet.  His eyes centered on Aliya. “I guess this is what I get for that review, isn’t it?  I have as much a right to a happy life as you, Aliya.  Why did you have to drag me into this nightmare?”
“I didn’t.  It just happened this way.”
“Right.  But you didn’t even consider me in this, did you?  Dragged off to your little heaven, so you can do whatever you want and it’s fine, right?”
Tears began forming in Aliya’s eyes. “No, that’s not—”
“Forget it!  I’m outta here!” Tom rejoined, flaring his wings and bursting out the door.  He beat his wings furiously, every beat more strained than the next, heading away from the castle and toward the meadow below.  Goddamn…haven’t felt this tired since…bah, I can’t remember.
Tom continued onward, not once looking back.  Forget them, I just want to be gone.  Out of here, damn it.  Maybe if I die, I’ll wake up and it will all be a dream.  Just a…dream.
Only then when a rooftop appeared before him did Tom notice he was rapidly falling and unable to right himself.  He hit the roof with a thump and began to slide down, clutching at straw ever hopelessly before hitting the cold, hard dirt.
“Oof…”
Without warning, a high, cheery female voice pierced Tom’s ears. “You must be new in town because I’ve never seen you before!  What are you doing on the ground, silly?”
Oh, god, why me? “Because I fell, stupid.”
“Hey, that’s not a nice thing to say!”
“I know,” Tom said indifferently.  He pulled himself off the ground, brushed himself off, and faced the assailant.  From its features, it appeared to be a female ‘pony’, having the same large, round head and small muzzle.  Her fur was pale pink, while her poofy, curled mane was a darker pink.  Her large and round eyes, a light shade of blue, stared expectantly at Tom.
“You must be the infamous Pinkie Pie,” Tom concluded, laughing.
“Infamous?  Oh no!  Did Ditzy find out about that muffin I ate?  Or two?  Or four?  Or was it that colt’s clothes I borrowed for a day?  I didn’t mean to upset anyone, really!”
“No, Pinkie, it’s because you’re annoying as heck.”
“Annoying?  Oh, one time I met this filly who kept telling me my—”
“Did I see a party over there?”
“Where?” Pinkie asked eagerly, romping down another street.  Tom dashed for the nearest alleyway and paused to catch his breath.
“Hoowee.  That always does the trick.”
“Hey!  There’s no party going on!” Pinkie cried, standing before Tom asudden. “And I didn’t get to finish!  Anyway, she was like ‘They have too much frosting!’ and I was like ‘No, that’s because you ate it all at once, silly!’ and—” 
“Shut it, now!  I’ve had enough!”
“Hey, stop picking on Pinkie, punk!” shouted a winged pony from above Tom.  She was cyan with an unkempt rainbow mane and tail.  Her magenta eyes bored into Tom.
“And who the hell are you?”
“The one and only Rainbow Dash, of course!  Now get away from Pinkie!”
“Ha!  Make me, twerp!”
“Twerp?  Oh, wait until I beat it out of you!” Rainbow Dash said with aplomb, narrowing her eyes.  She dove at Tom, spun around, and kicked him square in the side of the head before he had even moved.  He slapped hard onto the ground.
“Who’s the twerp now, twerp!” Rainbow Dash shouted with a little triumphant laugh.
“Dashie!  He wasn’t that bad!  I was going to throw him a party!” Pinkie rebuked.
“Forget the party.  Go back to the kitchen where you belong,” Tom muttered.
“Oh, I love baking!  And baking means cake and cupcakes and muffins!  But too much will make your stomach hurt!  Silly me!”
“Ugh…That all you got, ‘Dashie’?” Tom taunted from the ground.
“What’s that?  I can’t hear you with your face pounded in!” Rainbow Dash called over Tom’s groans and yelps as she unleashed a flurry of punches on his face.
“Had enough yet?”
“Ye-yeah.  No more—please.”
“Now leave my friends alone, got it?”
Tom gave a weak nod as acknowledgement.  Rainbow Dash and Pinkie loped down another street, leaving Tom face-down in the dirt.
“Oh, Rainbow, you aren’t supposed to go around beating ponies up!”
“Hey, he asked for it.”
“Oh, that reminds me!  I need to start on that party!  Catch you later, Dash!” Pinkie called as she hopped away.
“FML,” Tom muttered under his breath.
A black male pony, fur faintly glowing blue, with dark red mane and tail walked by Tom. “Hello sir.  Do you need any help?”
“No.  Go away.”
“I would, but you look beaten and tired.  Common courtesy says I should help.”
Tom backed against a wall. “No.”
“Here, let me get that dirt off you,” said the pony as he revealed a small horn that engulfed Tom in a shimmering cyan aura, lifting him from the ground and shaking the dirt from him.  He then placed Tom back on the ground and the aura dissipated.
“What was that?” Tom said, slightly irritated.
“Just my magic,” the black pony said nonchalantly. “I’m a unicorn.  All unicorns and winged unicorns, or alicorns, have varying degrees of magic.”
“Oh, god.  Why?”
“Not from around here, are you?  Well, come on, let’s walk.”
Tom put a hoof to his head.  Damn it.  Ponies everywhere.  And not the sensible kind either.  He grudgingly began to drag along behind the black pony.
“Fine.  And obviously, I’m not from here.  I’m from Earth, trapped in this damned place.”
“Earth?  You happen to be from somewhere on this planet?” the black pony said, apparently expecting a further explanation.
Tom chuckled to himself. “Well, no.  Heard of humans?  I used to be one before my idiot of a friend had me turned into a pony after we suddenly found ourselves here.”
“Appeared here under mysterious circumstances, I suppose?” the black pony said sarcastically.
“Yes.”
“Really?  Well, I have heard of humans.  Before Equestria, where you are now, was founded, there was a place to the southeast where humans and ponies lived.  But that’s about all I know.  I don’t suppose you’re an alien?  A human from another planet?”
“Well, not this planet.  Unless people have genetically engineered talking ponies with ‘magic’.”
The black pony’s eyes brightened. “Genetically engineered?  Some sort of advanced technology?  Are you able to travel through space, then?”
“Not very far.”  Tom paused to look around.  He was near the edge of a forest and standing outside a quaint two-story house with several windows and a grass-covered roof. “Nature lover?”
“Ah, this is Fluttershy’s cottage.  I was going to stop by for something, but I forgot now.  Maybe she can remind me.  Care to come along?”
“Not really. See, I hate ponies, and it wasn’t my choice to be here.”
“Well, you’re talking to one.  And you happen to be one at this moment.  Besides, that would be like if I said I hated humans.  That’s unfair not to give every human a chance first before deciding I hate them all.  Likewise, I hope you’ll give every pony a chance.”
“What else can I do?  I’m surrounded by ponies,” Tom said aversively.
“So, yes?  Or no?”
“Augh…sure.”
The black pony knocked on the door.
“Hello?  Who is it?” a soft voice inquired from just behind the door.
“It’s just me, Umbra.  I brought a friend along too.”  Tom grimaced.  Friend?  Damn it, who is this wacko?
“A—a friend?”
“Yeah, this is…forgive me, what’s your name, sir?”
“I never told you.  It’s—”
“Shadowdancer!  There you are!  That’s you, right?” a female unicorn called to Tom.  She was lilac, her mane and tail a dark violet with stripes of pink and purple, and gazed at Tom with purple eyes.
“Sure…I mean, no, it’s not.”
The unicorn locked eyes with Tom. “Well, is it you or not?  I didn’t run all around Ponyville for nothing.”
“Ponyville?  That’s the name of this town?  Oh, you ponies crack me up!” Tom cried, bawling with laughter.
“As we were saying…”
“Sure.  If that’s what they call me now, yes.”
“Um…hi everypony.  I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” a soft voice, presumably Fluttershy’s, whispered behind Umbra and Tom.
“Well, your friend’s been looking all over for you.  Oh, hi, Fluttershy!  Hi Umbra!”
“I…uh…didn’t think there was such a crowd here.  It’s making me so uncomfortable…I think I’ll just…go back inside now,” Fluttershy said timidly, retreating behind her door.
“No, Fluttershy, today’s a special day and we want everyone to welcome a special guest.  That means you too, Fluttershy!”
“…Okay, if it's really...that important.”  Fluttershy reemerged and closed the door behind her.
“And here’s my friend Shadowdancer,” Umbra said, pointing to Tom.
“P—pleased to m—meet you.”
“Yeah, same to you.  Now, do I really look that scary?”
Umbra whispered in Fluttershy’s ear. “Shadowdancer doesn’t seem very friendly at first, but I think there’s good in him.  He doesn’t really like other ponies, but I think you can bring out the good in him.”
“Are you s—sure?”
“Yes, just be yourself and he’ll warm up to ponies.  Every pony counts.”
“Oh, okay.”
Fluttershy trailed behind Umbra as he and Tom met with the female unicorn. “I’m Twilight Sparkle,” she greeted warmly as they set off walking toward Ponyville.
“These are the most ridiculous names I’ve ever heard,” Tom muttered, head bowed.
“What’s his problem?” Twilight Sparkle said quietly to Umbra.
“He’s a human from another planet and he’s been turned into a pony, but he hates ponies.”
“Yeah, I’ll believe that in a heartbeat.  That’s what he told you?”
Tom glared at Twilight Sparkle. “Look, ask Aliya or whatever crazy name she goes by now.  She can tell you all about it, okay?”
“Okay!  We don’t need to get in a fight over nothing!”
“Nothing?  I was dragged into this world by force, when I could have been happy at home lounging on an easy chair, and it’s all her fault!” Tom bellowed, stamping his hooves into the ground for emphasis.  Fluttershy whimpered.
“Everything…everything will be fine, okay Shadowdancer?” Umbra said, his voice shaky.
“Hahaha!  Tell that to the—Tell that to the fucking bronies who flamed me and pretty much lost me my shitty job!”
Everyone lay silent, interrupted only by steady hoof clops.  Twilight Sparkle waved as they passed a few other ponies on the street.
Fluttershy suddenly flew up and landed in front of Tom. “Now look here, mister!  I have had it with you!  Stop intimidating my friends!” she reprimanded.
Tom’s eyes widened, then narrowed into a furious scowl. “Oh-ho, feisty, aren’t you!  Well, you know what, Butterpie!  Fuck this!  I don’t give a fuck if I go to pony hell!  See you all there!” he roared to Fluttershy’s face, leaping into the air and spreading his wings to fly.  A small throng of ponies turned to see what the commotion was about.
Twilight Sparkle grabbed Tom with her purple aura and suspended him in the air. “Shadowdancer!  You are not leaving on my watch!  Your friend sent me to find you, and I am not going to go off into the woods to find your sorry flank again!  She and Pinkie set up this party for you, and you are going to enjoy it, whether you like it or not!”
Fluttershy’s eyes welled up with tears. “Don’t worry,” Umbra assured with a smile, “Twilight has this covered.  Uh…right, Twilight?”
“Yep.  No need to worry.”
Tom squirmed in the aura. “Goddamnit!  You little c—”  His words appeared to be cut off, despite that his mouth continued to move.
“Squelching spell.  Works every time.”
“Uh, sorry for the bad timing, Fluttershy, but I remembered what I was going to ask.”
“That’s okay.  What—what did you want to ask?”
“Uh…let’s see.  Oh, right, you have plenty of animal friends, right?  I thought you could introduce me to them sometime.  Maybe take a stroll through the Everfree too?”
“Oh, I’d love to introduce you to all my wonderful little friends.  But I don’t know about going to the Everfree.  There are lots of bad things in there…but if you really want to…I guess I could.”
“Oh, no, I won’t force you to.  I’ll think about it.”
“Okay.”
“Look’s like we’re at the town hall.  Look alive, everypony!” Twilight announced.  They stood outside the town hall, a tower with a several levels, each with a circular balcony.
“Well, come on, let’s not keep everypony waiting!”
The group made its way into the town hall, Twilight still holding Tom in her aura.  They entered a large blue atrium with several balconies mirroring the ones present on the exterior.  Twilight finally set Tom down on the floor. “No more of that, okay?  You’ve given everypony enough trouble already.  And I heard all about you and Rainbow Dash.”
“Oh, you mean that little—I mean, no, I won’t do any more.  Promise.”
“Pinkie Promise?” someone squeaked. “Oh, silly me.”
Twilight looked up on the balcony and giggled, then turned back to Tom. “Okay, but try anything again, and we’re going to have a problem.”
“Now!” the voice from the balcony called.  Several splashes of confetti and candy rained down from the ceiling, and tables seemed to unfurl from the floor, fully stocked with drinks and pastries.  A banner unrolled from the center platform with “Welcome, Poppy Field and Shadowdancer!  Happy birthday!” scrawled over it along with a few illustrations of balloons and streamers.
“Surprise!” Pinkie Pie and a chorus of other ponies shouted, revealing themselves all around the hall.  Pinkie slid down a chain of hard candies and hopped onto the ground. “Objective complete!” she cried. “Oh, wait, almost forgot the balloons,” she then chuckled, tugging on the candy chain and sending a swarm of balloons into the air.
Tom rolled his eyes. “I hate surprises.  And it’s not my birthday,” he grumbled.
“Well, I thought since it was your first day as a pony, this could be your pony birthday!  Aren’t you lucky to have two birthdays!  Oh, I wish I had two birthdays!  There’d be so much candy, and cake, and…”
“Like I’m going to wish him a happy day!” Rainbow Dash yelled, landing on the ground before Tom. “You again?  Didn’t I tell you to leave my friends alone?”
Twilight grumbled. “We’ve already gone over this, Rainbow Dash.  If he does it again, he’s not getting back scot-free.”
Tom reached out a hoof. “Tom,” he said, managing a forced smile.
“No.  I’m not going to shake his hoof.”
“Just do it,” Twilight demanded.
“Fine.  Rainbow Dash, coolest pegasus in Equestria, thank you very much,” Rainbow Dash said smugly, grudgingly shaking hooves with Tom and immediately retracting her hoof afterward. “Wait, I thought your name was Shadowdancer.”
“Fine, call me that if it suits you better.”
“Come on, let’s get this party started!” Pinkie cheered. “I even brought Vinyl along!  What kind of music do you like?”
Tom grimaced. “I don’t know.  Death metal dubstep?”
“Death metal dubstep?  Is that like dance music for skeletons?  I’ll go ask.”
“Are you kidding?  You’re going to make everyone’s ears bleed!” Umbra retorted.
“Hey, don’t judge me, it’s what I like.”
“Okay, who here has an electric guitar and can play it?  Volunteers?” Pinkie called to the crowd.
Six ponies ventured from various parts of the crowd to where Pinkie stood. “All right!  Let’s go!  Vinyl will provide the beat, and you provide the rest!  On my mark, 1, 2, 3, go!”
A deep twang and thrub-thrub-thrub resounded from the six sets of speakers placed across the atrium.
“I think I’m going to go outside,” Fluttershy murmured.
“I think so, too,” Umbra answered, though barely able to hear her through the music. “I don’t mind metal at times, but I think this may be a bit overboard.  Twilight, you coming too?”
Umbra looked around in the mob, unable to find her. “Maybe not then.”  He and Fluttershy nudged their way through, and after untold numbers of ‘Excuse me’s, made it outside.  Applejack, a female pony, orangish tan in color, with blonde mane and tail each tied in a long ponytail and a wide-brimmed brown hat, stood quietly beside the town hall.
“Fluttershy!  Umbra!  How do y’all do this fine day?” she said amicably.
“Not bad.  Music’s a bit much for me, though.”
“I hear ya.  Drives me crazy listenin’ to all that noise.  How ‘bout you, Fluttershy?  Feelin’ all right?”
“Um, I guess so.”
“You guess?  Somethin’ troublin’ ya, sugacube?”
“Well, we had a little trouble with Shadowdancer, what with him cussing us out and calling Fluttershy ‘Butterpie’.  Twilight had to sort things out.”
“Now that’s terrible.  I heard.  Some ponies don’t know when to keep it to themselves,” Applejack remarked with a frown.
“Speaking of which, where is he?”
Celestia, Luna, and Aliya approached the town hall.  Applejack, Fluttershy, and Umbra bowed in their presence.  “How is everypony tonight?  We thought we’d stop by and see how everything was going,” Celestia said warmly.  The three ponies stood back up.
“Fine n’ dandy.”
“Not bad.”
Fluttershy merely nodded and smiled as a response.
“Why not join everypony else in the festivities?” Luna asked.
“Too loud and noisy in there.”
Celestia smiled. “Has Shadowdancer given anypony any trouble?”
“Unfortunately, yes.  He’s had a cussing fit and apparently fought with Rainbow Dash.  But Twilight set him straight.”
“Oh.  I’m sorry if things got out of hoof.  We were just looking for him and thought you might know where he was.”
“He should be there at the party right now.  I haven’t heard anything going wrong yet, anyway.  By the way, who is the newcomer?”
“Call me Poppy Field.  Nice to meet all of you.  I’m Shadowdancer’s human friend.”
“Howdy, Poppy Field.  Pleasure meetin’ ya!”
“Good day—or is it evening—to you.”
“Hi…N—nice to meet you.”
“I guess we should be on our way now.  We’ll see everypony in a few minutes.”  With that, Celestia, Luna, and Aliya made their way into the town hall.
“She must be the one Shadowdancer was ranting about, saying it was all her fault.  I feel sorry for her, having to put up with all that.”
“M-hm.”
“She didn’t seem bad like Shadowdancer at all.  Actually, I’d say more like misguided.  He says he hates ponies.”
“You can’t say anypony’s bad, can ya Umbra?  But I cain’t say anything’, I haven’t even met him.  You’re a good fella, Umbra,” Applejack said, laughing.  She gave Umbra a friendly poke in the side.
“Thanks, Applejack.”
Umbra watched the sunset for a while, as Applejack adjusted her hat.
"So, Fluttershy, anythin' new recently?"
“I found a stray dog last week.  I think he had mange, so I took him for a checkup.  I hope I can find his original family.”
“That’s mighty naice of you, Fluttershy.  I sure hope you succeed.  Don’t know what I’d do without Winona.  Now how about you, Umbra?  Umbra?”
“Oh, sorry.  What were you saying?”
Applejack laughed. “Ah, sometimes I wonder if you’re a scarecrow, Umbra.  Jus’ standin’ there like a statue and not sayin’ a word.  Have you done anythin’ interesting recently?”
“Taken up a bit of drawing in my spare time.  It really can be quite fun.  Do you have any requests?”
“I’m not much of a visual artist, so t’speak.  Do a bit of sculpturing here and there, but I think there’s art in everythin’.  You seem mighty eager.  How ‘bout a drawing of the Apple family?”
“All right, sounds good.”
“Bet you could pick up a few fillies with yer drawin’ skills.”
“Nah, I think I’m destined to be alone.”
Celestia and Luna came back outside.  “Shadowdancer is nowhere to be found,” said Luna.
“Somepony told us he had gotten a bit sick and went out the back for a moment.  He wasn’t there, but he was definitely sick,” said Celestia.  She winced a tad, remembering the sour stench and the orangish medley of stomach contents.
“The ‘heavy metal dubstep’ and his sick stomach must have been his ruse to disappear.  I’d almost leave him, since he’s so desperate to escape, but I’d feel guilty if something bad were to happen to him, even with his bad temperament.”
“We’ll have a search party ready soon.  Take care now, everypony.”  Celestia and Luna nodded and flew into the dusk.
“Hmm…Fluttershy, would you mind showing me the Everfree right now?”
“I don’t know, Umbra, it’s a little dark right now.”
“I’ll light the way, but you can turn back after showing me the first part.  I plan on going all the way through the Everfree Forest.”
“Are you outta yer mind?  Tell ya what, sugarcube, I’m up fer an adventure tonight!  No need settin’ yerself in harm’s way alone!  I’m with ya all the way!”
“I’ll go with you too.  I’d…um…feel pretty bad if you were stranded in the Everfree Forest by yourself.”
“Then what are we waiting for?  We’ll be the three puppeteers!  No, that doesn’t sound right.  Help me out here.”
“The three rangers, maybe?”
“That sounds more like it.  The Three Rangers set off on their first adventure!” Umbra cried jubilantly.
“Now don’t get too excited, Umbra.  That’s if we make it out of this one.”
> Surprise Turnaround
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


“You know what the best kind of party is?  A surprise party!” -Pinkie Pie


Celestia paced back and forth in the reception hall of the Canterlot Castle.  The massive glass windows at the back let the brilliant yellow light of dawn flood into the hall.  Celestia looked out the windows and watched as ponies trotted back and forth through the streets.  And life goes on.
A sealed scroll appeared before Celestia.  She immediately opened it with her magic and read it:

Dear Princess Celestia,

Last night, I learned that not everypony wants to be friendly towards you, and sometimes it’s best not to push them into being your friends.  Instead, it’s best to let them learn for themselves the meaning of friendship.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

Celestia smiled, rolled the scroll back up, and set it down beside her.
“Morning, Celestia.”
Celestia’s eyes widened. “Who is—Tom?” She spun around to face a pony in a ragged purple cloak.
“Just call me Shadowdancer from now on.  I think it would be easier for everyone else.”
“Everypony was very concerned.”
Shadowdancer sighed. “I remember Umbra telling me to give every pony a chance, and I thought of how difficult people made it for my parents when they first arrived as immigrants.  Then I realized I wasn’t any better and decided to come back.”
“That’s very thoughtful, Shadowdancer.”
“I’m sorry to have caused so much trouble for everyone.  I didn’t realize people would even go searching for me in the middle of the night.”
“I’m just glad you’re back, and that you’ve learned from your experience.”  Celestia picked up a sheet of parchment and a quill, wrote a quick letter, and sent it away.
Poppy Field, wearing a bright yellow jacket, darted into the hall and ran up the steps to where Celestia and Shadowdancer stood.
“Tom—Shadowdancer!” Poppy Field cried.  She slapped Shadowdancer in the face. “That’s for what you did yesterday!  But I’m still glad you’re back.  Now come back with me and apologize to everypony.”
Everypony?  I swear, why not just say “everyone”?  “Okay, okay.  Just let me finish talking to Celestia.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Princess Celestia!  I didn’t even notice you!  How are you today?”
“It’s no problem, Poppy Field.  And I’m just fine, thank you for asking.”
“Okay, I’ll be waiting outside, Shadowdancer.”  Poppy Field walked out the way she came.  Tom laughed lightly.  Poppy Field.  Sorry, I can’t help but imagine you high on opium with that name…Actually, no, get that image out of my head!
“So, Shadowdancer, what did you have to say?”
“Could you tell me more about Equestria later?”
“Of course.  I’ll find you later tonight if I have the time.  Will that work?”
“Yes.  Thank you very much, Celestia.”
“No need to thank me.  But you shouldn’t keep your friend waiting.”
“Oh, of course.  Goodbye, Celestia.”
“Goodbye, Shadowdancer.”
Celestia watched as Shadowdancer took his leave.  Even I must admit it’s a bit strange that he’s acting this polite just after last night.
Shadowdancer nodded to Poppy Field. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Got a date with Princess Celestia?”
“Very funny.  No, she’s just going to tell me a bedtime story.”
“Ooh, lucky you!  Which one?”
“Heck, I have no idea.  Up to her.  Now stop with the silly jokes.  It’s rather annoying.”
“Hey, you started it!”
“Let’s see, you were the one who mentioned the date,” Shadowdancer said accusatorily.
“Okay, fine, Shadowdancer.  I was just trying to lighten things up a bit.  Aren’t you cheery.”
“Never.  Unless alcohol’s involved,” he said coolly.
“Shadowdancer!”
“Never in my whole damned—!  Sorry, Poppy.  I’ll stop speaking.”
“It’s understandable—”
“No, it’s not.  Let’s go on our merry way.”
A stallion in a grey suit and glasses stood at a stand selling flower bouquets.
“You two look like a fine young couple!  Buy a bouquet of flowers for your girlfriend, sir!” the vendor cried.
Shadowdancer looked toward Poppy, then back to the vendor. “Sorry, we’re not a couple and I don’t have any money with me.”
“Not a couple?  That’s a shame.  Here, take a free rose for her.”  The flower vendor threw a dark red rose, which Shadowdancer missed and dropped.
“Damn it,” Shadowdancer muttered.  Poppy giggled.
“Uh…thank you, mister.”
Damn it, damn it, damn it.  How the hell do we look like a couple?!  Maybe it’s because I’m a pony now…but even still…
“And we are here today to celebrate the birth of Shadowdancer and Poppy Field’s first child!”
Poppy raised a small foal wrapped in soft white cloth into the air.  It was blackish green and had scaly mane hair.
“What in Celestia’s good name is that?”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
“What?”
“Oh, nothing.  Just talking to myself.”
“Is something wrong?  You’re clutching that rose awfully tight.”
“Sorry.  Here you go.”  Shadowdancer handed the rose impassively to Poppy.
I know something’s up with him, but I can’t get him to say anything directly.  Maybe I could take it off his mind somehow.
“Alcohol?  Any alcohol in this place?” Shadowdancer asked with an almost urgent tone.
“Maybe.  I don’t know, you’d have to ask.  And why do you try to use alcohol as your solution to everything?”
“I don’t.”
Poppy sighed. “There’s the train.  Oh, and here’s your pass.  Show it to the conductor.”  Poppy handed Shadowdancer a blue card with a horn-and-wing seal imprinted on it.  The words “Canterlot Royal Pass, issued by H.M. Princess Celestia” were printed in gold in cursive script across the card.
Shadowdancer waved the card to a pony in a blue hat and uniform.
“Thank you, sir,” the pony said with a curt nod.
Poppy did likewise and directed Shadowdancer to an empty train section, where they sat beside each other.  Poppy set the rose on the table.
“Shadowdancer?  Are you all right?”
Shadowdancer already lay asleep in his seat.  Poppy smiled.
A dark red filly with silver mane and tail came through the aisle and sat across from Shadowdancer and Poppy.
Poppy sat silently, looking out the window, until the filly spoke.
“Hi, I’m Lamplight.  How about you?”
“Oh, sorry.  I’m Poppy Field.  Are you from Canterlot?”
“No, I was just visiting some family.  I live in Ponyville.  Where are you from?”
“I actually don’t come from anywhere in Equestria.  I’m from another world.  But that’s pretty hard to believe, isn’t it?”
Lamplight laughed. “No, not at all, especially with the way your boyfriend acted the other day.”
Poppy glanced at Shadowdancer, who was leaning against her, and blushed. “You don’t mean him, do you?  He…we’re not actually dating.  Please excuse what he did the other day.  He was a little…drunk.  I don’t know whether he likes me or not, but that’s an entertaining thought.”
“You like him, don’t you?” Lamplight said with a grin.
“Uh…no, I don’t know.  I don’t appreciate his alcoholism, or plenty of other things about him.”
“Don’t worry, people can change.  And you two look so cute together!  Look at how he’s sleeping against you!”
“Sure…But I really don’t know.  Anyway…what do you do in Ponyville?”
“Oh, I work at Café La Place.  The hours are long, but I love it there!  And sometimes I stop by Sugarcube Corner to help out a bit.”
Poppy chuckled. “This is only my second day here, so I don’t do much yet.  You should tell me some stories about Ponyville.”
“Hmm…well, one day when I was helping Pinkie, a handsome young unicorn came walking in.  I think he was pink and green or something like that.  But he started asking about cupcakes, and the strange part was the way he asked about them…”
Poppy gave a nervous frown.  I don’t like the way this is going.
“He said, ‘Do you have any of those cupcakes with that special ingredient?  You know, what makes them so soft and juicy?’  Pinkie just stared at him and said ‘Cupcakes aren’t supposed to be juicy, silly!’  Then the unicorn just unfolded his wings and flew off.  Never saw him again.”
Poppy bit the end of the rose stem. “That’s a little scary…”
“Scary?  I don’t see how that was scary, but it was really strange.”
“You—you don’t understand,” Poppy stammered, then brought her voice to a whisper. “He meant ponies.  The special ingredient is ponies.”
“What?  That’s ridiculous!  Nopony would ever do that to another pony!”
“Humans have.  You don’t want to know.”
“Humans?  You mean those wonky fairytale things?”
“Yes.  Remember, I told you I’m from another world.  I used to be a human.”
“That’s really funny.  But I almost believe you.  Maybe you should take me back to your world.  I’m sure it would be fun.”
“Just watch out for the rabid fans.  They might kidnap you.”
Lamplight twitched her nose, appearing a bit perplexed. “I have fans?  I have to go there!”
“Oh, I meant fans of ponies in general.”
“There are ponies there!  Even better!”
“Well, there are, but they’re different than ponies here.  See, they don’t talk like us or have magic or wings.”
“I’m not understanding this…”
“Long story short, there’s a series of shows and toys with ponies loosely based on our ponies, but like the ponies in Equestria.  So there are tons of fans of the shows and merchandise, and anything to do with ponies.  So that’s why they’d love you.”
“Okay, anything else I should know?”
“Well, a lot of things work pretty much like they do in the Everfree Forest.”
“I’m not so sure I want to go anymore.  Seems a little too weird for me.”
“Don’t worry about it.  If you do, I can guide you around there.  Besides, you said it would be fun, didn’t you?”
“I did, but I’m not so sure now.”
The train squeaked and ground to a halt.
“Well, I don’t know how I could get back anyway.  I don’t know how I got here in the first place.”
“I’m sure you’ll find a way if you want to go back.”
“I guess so.”
“I guess I should get going.  Don’t want to be late to work!  You should come visit me sometime!” Lamplight piped.
“Of course!  I will!  See you later!  It was great talking to you!”
“Bye, Poppy Field!”
Lamplight stood up and left.  Shadowdancer still lay asleep beside Poppy.
“Shadowdancer, wake up!  We’re here!”
Shadowdancer moaned and turned the other way.
“Tom!  Get up!”
Shadowdancer didn’t budge.
I hate to do this, but if I have to… “Vodka!” Poppy shouted.
“Did someone say ‘vodka’?” Shadowdancer said, bolting up from his seat.
“Haha, you looking for vodka, boy?” a red stallion with yellow tail and black mane and beard called to Shadowdancer.
“Yes!  Where is it?”
“Five biets for my flask here.”
“Sorry, I don’t have any money to spare.”
“Ah?  Well, I can always spare a free one for a good vodka-drinking comrade.  Cheers.”  He tossed a small glass flask with a cork to Shadowdancer.
“Thank you so much, sir!
“No problem, my friend.  Keep yourself on your hooves.”
The red stallion walked out of the train.  Shadowdancer turned to Poppy with a wide grin.
“Don’t even think about it until after we’ve gone back to Canterlot,” Poppy reprimanded.
“Okay, fine.”
Shadowdancer stepped out of the train.  Poppy picked up the rose and followed.
A crowd of ponies stood at the train platform.  Most appeared unfamiliar.  The pink curly-haired pony—Pinkie—hopped to the front.
“Hi Shadowdancer!  We’ve got another party just for you!  I promise this one will be better so you don’t run off again!”
“Uh, thanks.  Look, I’m sorry to everyone here that I was such a jerk yesterday, and that I ran off and caused all this trouble.  I won’t let it happen again.”
“Pinkie Promise?”
Shadowdancer nodded. “Pinkie Promise.”
“Cross your heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye?”
“I’m not sure why I’d do that, but okay.  Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“Now hold it.  I wasn’t there pers’nally for most of this, but what was all this hooey about?” said Applejack from behind Pinkie.
“The alcohol must have gotten to me.  I apologize for everything.”
“Alcohol?  You better watch yerself there, boy.  I’ll be watchin’, that’s fer sure.”
“Well, what are we waiting for?  Let’s have a party!”
The crowd began to meander toward Ponyville.  Shadowdancer laughed. “After all that, I didn’t give you a bad impression?”
“Are you kidding?  That death metal dubstep was amazing!  Even though I didn’t notice any metal or dubstepping, whatever that is.  Gummy loved it too!”
Are you sure this ‘Gummy’ isn’t deaf? “Gummy?”
“You haven’t met Gummy yet?!  He’s my pet alligator!  He’s so adorable, and he can’t bite either, because he doesn’t have any teeth!”
“Wait, he doesn’t have any teeth?  How does he eat?”
“Oh, silly, I make sure to feed him food he can swallow!”
“Of course.  And it may surprise you, but I don’t actually listen to any music.”
“You don’t?  Not even music you hear in your head when you’re walking around and doing things?”
“Well, no.”
“But how can you go without music?  The world is full of music!  Even the trees like to sing sometimes!”
“Whatever you say, Pinkie.  Now are we almost there?”
“Yeppers!  I’ll show you in!”
Pinkie led Shadowdancer to a house in pink, brown, and white that appeared to be built to resemble candy or cake, like some sort of gingerbread house.  She took Shadowdancer inside to a room with banners and various vibrant decorations adorning the walls and ceiling.  A cake sat on a round table in the middle of the room, with “Welcome back, Shadowdancer!” emblazoned on the cake in dark red.  A small green alligator with purple eyes popped out of the side of the cake.
“Heehee, Gummy gets in everything!  Come on, try the cake!  Mrs. Cake and I made it just for you!”
“I really don’t like cake very much…” Especially not after an alligator’s been in it.
“It’s not bad!  Watch, I’ll take the first bite,” Pinkie said before she struck and engulfed a quarter of the cake.
That’s a bite? “Okay…if you insist.”  Shadowdancer approached and cut himself a small sliver of cake.  He studied the cake:  brown with white frosting and black…mint crumbs.  The red writing seemed to bleed over the edge of the cake.
“Huh?  What’s wrong?” Pinkie asked. “Did I mess the cake up?  Not enough frosting?  Too much decoration?”
“No, it’s just fine.  I’m just kind of tired,” Shadowdancer said dully.  He hesitantly put the slice into his mouth and swallowed it.
“Better than the cakes I usually get,” Shadowdancer remarked with a forced smile.
“Did you hear that?  He likes the cake!”
A peal of cheers rang through the room.
“Yeah, do you have somewhere I can crash?”
“Crash?  Why would you want to do that?  But that’s how I met you yesterday!  Does that mean you want to meet more ponies?  That’s why I threw this party!  So you could meet more people and make more friends!”
“Uh, no, I meant a place to sleep.”
“But it’s not even close to nighttime yet!  Besides, why would you want to sleep through a party?  I promise you won’t feel tired once we get started!”
“Nah, I think I’d like to sleep anyway.”  Shadowdancer collapsed under the table and noticed the little alligator was attached to his right hoof.  Whatever, I don’t care right now.
“Shadowdancer!  Come on sleepypinkiehe’shadenoughbutthisisaparty…”
“How is everything going?  Made any new friends?”
“Well, I think I’ve made a friend of the princess.  Well, at least I’m on the way to.  Celestia I mean.”
“Oh, good.  How about Luna?”
“Luna?  Oh, you mean the blue one.  I only saw her once yesterday, but I haven’t really talked to her yet.”
“You should.  I know you really don’t want to, but in the long run it will help if you make friends with everypony.”
“It seems like this Pinkie Pie wants to be friends.  Set up a whole party for me, but I fell asleep.”
“You’re ridiculous.  You fell asleep during a party?  Didn’t I tell you to make some friends?”
“Yes, yes you did.  I’m trying.  But I find Pinkie annoying.”
“Oh, haha.  You’re not the only one.”
“Now who am I talking to again?”
“Chrystal, remember?”
“Why do you keep showing up in my dreams?”
“Because it’s nice and comfortable in here?  You tell me.  It’s your dream, isn’t it?  But don’t worry about that.  Why don’t you wake up and enjoy the party?”
“Okay, I will.  Bye, Chrystal.”
“Bye.”
Shadowdancer opened his eyes.  A pink tablecloth was draped before him.  The peals of laughter and singing seemed to have died away.
“My party wasn’t that boring, was it?” inquired Pinkie as her pink head poked under the table.
“No, I’m sorry.  It wasn’t that.  I was so tired, I just couldn’t help it.  Is the party over?”
“Oh, sorry, everyone got tired and left.  A party can’t last forever, you know!”
“I was hoping to meet a few ponies.”
“You should have said something!  I could have told them to stay longer!  Then you could have lots more friends!  Oh, and Pop’s waiting outside!  She said I could dance with you for a few minutes before you left because you have to catch a train to go back to Canterlot!”
“Okay, sure,” Shadowdancer mumbled.  He drowsily rose off the floor to his feet.
“Watch out for that—!” Pinkie cried before Shadowdancer banged against the table edge and crashed to the floor.
“I don’t want to dance,” Shadowdancer groaned.
“It’s gonna be fun!  And ‘dance’ is in your name too!” Pinkie exclaimed, picking Shadowdancer up by the hooves.  She began with a sidestep, then a few backsteps, ending with a twirl and swing into the air.
“We should do that again!  You’re a great dancer!”
“No, not really,” Shadowdancer said jadedly.
“That’s why we should dance more often!  Then you can be even better and we can dance all night long!”
“Thanks for the offer, but I might pass on that.”
“Bye Shadow!  Come back soon!” Pinkie called, waving as Shadowdancer took his leave.  Poppy stood outside in the cool moonlight night with a small smile.
“Had a fun time with Pinkie?”
“Whatever.”
“You know you enjoyed it!”
“Yeah, as much as I love to dance, I’d rather stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“Suit yourself, Shadowdancer.  But I’d give a limb to dance with Pinkie.”
“You would?  Why not now?” Shadowdancer said with a crazed smile.
“No, I think I’ll keep my legs, Tom—err, Shadowdancer.”
Shadowdancer cackled and shook his head. “Well, shouldn’t we be getting to the train now?”
“Oh, that’s right!  We shouldn’t miss it!  Let’s hurry!”
Poppy and Shadowdancer sprinted to the station and waved down the train, which hadn't yet begun to move.  One of the doors slid open.  Poppy and Shadowdancer quickly climbed in, waved their passes, sat at the first empty section, and fell asleep almost immediately.


###


Luna stood over the rest of Canterlot on an outcropping.  The full moon glinted silver-white all across Equestria.  The spires of Canterlot shone as brightly as ever in the moonlight.  How could I have ever hated my sister?  How noble it was of her to take responsibility for her task and mine.
Light footsteps approached.  Luna turned and met eyes with the dark, cloaked figure of one of her royal guards.
“Night Shard?”
He threw back his hood.  His face appeared greenish, almost black.  His narrowed orange eyes appeared to be examining Luna, or glaring at her.  Shadowdancer.
“What do you want here?  Last I remember, you didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
“Sorry about yesterday.  I was too angry with Aliya and this world to care about anything else.  Will you accept my apology, Princess?”
Luna paused and paced a few times.  Does he really mean it?  It is true that he directed most of his ire toward Aliya.  The poor girl.  But it seems like he’s seen his wrongs and made it up to everypony.
“Yes.  And please, call me Luna.”
Shadowdancer smiled and gazed toward the sky. “Do you really have the power to control the moon?”
“Of course.  Just watch.”
Luna’s horn glowed pale blue and the moon shifted slightly.
“Very nice.”
Luna turned back to face Shadowdancer. “I don’t wish to be rude, but are you from a different place than Aliya?”
“Don’t worry, I’ve been the rude one.  But yeah, you probably hear my accent.  My father was from Indonesia, and my mother was from Singapore, lived in China for a while, then came to the United States.  Sorry if you don’t understand me sometimes.”
“Oh, no, Shadowdancer.  You speak fine.  I just noticed you had a slightly different inflection.”
Shadowdancer laughed. “You don’t know where any of those places are, do you?”
“I don’t.  Are they lands from your Earth?”
“Yeah, but don’t worry.  Some people can’t even find them on a map.  I think it’s hilarious.”
“I nearly forgot.  Did you want that lollipop you mentioned?”
“Nah, I was being sarcastic.  I don’t like lollipops anyway.  They make my teeth hurt.”
“Oh, okay.”
Luna and Shadowdancer stood silent for a while.
“It was good to talk to you, Luna.  Night.  I’m feeling pretty tired.”
“Good night, Shadowdancer.”
Shadowdancer spread his wings and soared over Luna toward his Canterlot suite.  Luna watched, and once he disappeared from view, Luna flapped into the air and flew around Canterlot before finally flying through the window to her sister’s bedroom and landing beside her sister, who lay sprawled across a purple velvet cushion.
“Celestia?  Are you still awake?”
Celestia rolled around and stood up. “Oh, yes.  I haven’t been able to sleep tonight.  Is everything all right, Luna?”
“I just spoke with Shadowdancer.  He seems to be more comfortable with other ponies now.”
“Yes, he found me this morning and had me tell him some of Equestria’s history earlier this evening.”
“But don’t you find it odd, sister?”
“I do, but we should be happy about this.  Don’t worry, Luna, everything’s fine.  Do you want to sleep here tonight?”
“Okay,” Luna said with a small smile.  As she went to lay down, she noticed a rolled-up scroll lying on Celestia’s dresser.
“What does it say?”
“I haven’t read it yet.  I think one of Twilight’s friends sent it earlier today.  I’ll read it in the morning.  Good night, Luna.”
Luna laid on a blue cushion with gold lining and slowly closed her eyes. “Good night, Celestia.”
> Psychology
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


“Once mental defenses are broken, there is a thin line between hysteria and control of the mind.” -Unknown author, Mastering the Mind


“What did you have to tell me, everypony?” Celestia asked, before taking another sip of black coffee from her small porcelain cup.  She sat with Applejack, Fluttershy and Umbra at a round picnic table on a hill overlooking Sweet Apple Acres, the local apple farm.
“Well, I reckon we should all have a turn to speak, but I’ll go first, unless y’all want to.”
“It’s fine.  You go ahead, Applejack,” Fluttershy said with a smile.
Umbra shook his head. “Go on ahead.”
“Okay, here goes.  The three of us made our way into the forest, the way behind Fluttershy’s cottage, just after you had told us about Shadowdancer.  Nothin’ really happened until we came to the old castle ruins.  Luna was there, meditating.  We apologized for interruptin’ her.  She said she saw a pegasus go by a few minutes before, but wasn’t sure who though.
So we continued on, thinking we were prob’ly onto something.  Just when we were out of sight of the ruins, something howled horribly fierce and I swear I saw something zip through the bushes.  We were a little more careful after that, but we never ran into the thing that made that noise.  Once we reached the end of the forest, we could see Dodge City in the distance.  Umbra said we should check it out.  I reckon it’s about time you took the floor, huh Umbra?”
“Nah, it’s fine.  Keep going.  Or let Fluttershy go.”
Fluttershy grinned nervously. “No, it’s okay.  I think Applejack can tell it better than me.”
Applejack nodded. “All right, if you say so.  Well, we got to Dodge City and asked around a bit.  The ponyfolk there sure have some loose lips.  Said there was a pony that came into town recently called Crystal Rose staying at the local inn.  We headed that way and ran into a couple of ponies talking.  One of them we assumed was Crystal Rose.  Looked about right, blood red mane and all, even in the darkness.  I haven’t met Shadowdancer, but Umbra was certain he was the other pony.  Crystal glared at us as soon as we approached.  We took the hint and made it out of there.  Made a stop at the Twinleaf Brothers’ for a bite to eat before we left.  Those were some mighty fine alfalfa rolls.”
Applejack paused for a moment. “So that’s about the end of our story.”
Celestia nodded her acknowledgement and smiled. “Thank you all for letting me know.  I’ll keep an eye out for anything unusual.”
“She had big, sharp fangs, like a vampire.”
Applejack grimaced, leaving her face a sort of confused frown. “She did?  I don’t recall her havin’ fangs and such, but…vampires exist?”
“I saw one by the edge of the Everfree forest not long ago.  I’m sure he wasn’t evil…I mean, vampires are ponies too.  They can’t be all bad.”
“Are you sure that wasn’t Shadowdancer or something?” Umbra said with a slight chuckle. “I have to admit, the night guard do look something like vampires, although I have nothing against them.  Princess Celestia, there aren’t really any vampires, are there?”
“Of course not.  Those are just ponies’ tales made to scare people.  But you’ll be the first to know if anything comes up.  Luna and I will be sure to let the guards know to watch for suspicious activity.  There’s no need to worry.”
“Thank you, Princess Celestia, for taking time out of your day and coming here to talk with us.  It means a lot.”
“Yes, we’re very honored that you were willin’ to listen to us.”
Celestia chuckled. “Oh, it’s nothing, really.”
“We shouldn’t keep you any longer, Princess.”
“Thank you for your concern, Applejack.  I probably should be leaving.  And thank you all for the wonderful breakfast.  Take care, everypony.”
With a flaring of her wings, Celestia soared into the dawn haze.
Applejack yawned. “Well, I’d best be off.  Need to take a nap, and then it’s back to work.  I reckon everypony has somewhere to be.”
“Oh, I need to tend to the chickens and make sure everything’s all right.”
“Don’t really have anywhere to be myself.  Really need a job.  Maybe I can get to work on that Apple family drawing for you, eh?”
“Sounds good to me.  Catch y’all later,” Applejack said as she headed back toward the red Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse.  Umbra and Fluttershy likewise went their separate ways.
As Applejack reached to open the door, a brash voice called directly behind her.
“Hey!”
Applejack spun around and put up her front hooves. “Hold it right there!  Who are you?”
“Shadowdancer.  You might have heard of me.”
Applejack frowned. “Yeah, that pony that’s been causin’ trouble for everypony.  Now why don’t you hightail it outta here!”
“Whoa, I just wanted to make it up to your friends.  Your friend Twilight or whatever her name was told me you could always use a bit of extra help.”
Applejack dropped her hooves. “Twilight, huh?  Well, it’d help if you didn’t startle me first.  Hm…why don’t you buck some apples for me?  I’m trusting that you won’t cause a ruckus on the farm.”
“Buck some apples?  What the heck is that?”
Applejack sighed. “You don’t know what applebucking is?  Here, come with me and I’ll show you,” she said jadedly.  City boy, I bet.
She led Shadowdancer out to a vast orchard of apple trees aligned in rows and approached a single tree at the beginning of a row.
Applejack pointed to a set of wicker baskets stacked up by another tree. “Now get those baskets over there and bring them by this tree.”
Shadowdancer rushed over and brought back a stack, setting it by the tree.
“Good.  Two will do fine for now.”
Shadowdancer picked two baskets out of the stack and set the rest aside.
“Watch me now.  This is important.” Applejack stood on her front legs, balancing her hind legs in the air. “Give the trunk a nice strong kick,” she said as she poised her legs, then sprung them out to deliver a firm kick to the trunk.  Several ripe apples dropped and most landed in the baskets.  Shadowdancer began to pick up the remaining fallen apples.
“Now don’t you worry about that.  I’ll pick up the rest of ‘em, you try it out on the next tree.”
Shadowdancer dubiously trotted to the next tree in the row.  He turned away from the tree, stood on his forelegs, and fell on his face.  Applejack stopped and looked.
“All right sugarcube, I’ll do this like Big Mac did for me.  And you should probably have a few baskets too,” Applejack said, chuckling.  She picked up a stack of baskets and headed toward Shadowdancer, but stopped.  The marks on the sides of his flank piqued her interest. “Hoho, what kind of cutie mark is that you’ve got there?  Looks like a theater mask split into black an’ white.  In the acting business?”
“Tried a little bit in high school, but no.  And what is a cutie mark?  You mean these butt tattoos?”
Applejack laughed, bearing an amused smile. “Well, you sure can play dumb.  Or did you hit yer head pretty hard there?  Maybe Rainbow gave you a bruisin’?”
“Oh, that Rainbow?  Well, yes…but that’s not why I don’t know a thing about ponies.  Can I say Poppy and I are not from this world?  She’s the expert on all you ponies though.  I couldn’t have cared less until she dragged me along.  We were humans, but your princess decided to make us ponies to keep everyone from thinking something weird was going on.”
“Well, humans…hmm, sound familiar somehow.  But honestly, I think you’re spoutin’ a bunch of hooey and ya just hit yer head real hard on something.  I’ll accept that you don’t know a thing though, so I’ll tell ya what you need to know.  Ponies come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.  I’m sure you’ve seen that much in the last few days.  Earth ponies, like me, are yer normal pony, no wings or horn.  Still, we can claim to know the earth better than the other ponies, and I’d like to think we’re generally a little tougher built, maybe a little more inventive, since we don’t have the magic or flight to help us.  Rainbow Dash might not agree with me, but anyway, that brings me to pegasi.  They’re the fliers, and usually fairly athletic.  Really takes some muscle to move those wings.  And they’re airheaded.  Always have their heads in the clouds.”
Shadowdancer glowered. “You don’t mean me, do you?”
“Hehe, forgot you were a pegasus for a moment.  Sorry.  I just like to give ol’ Dash a hard time.  I expect the same from her anyway.  So, continuing on, unicorns.  They’re the magic users.  They use their horns to perform spells, pick up objects, and such.  Unicorns are the stereotypical smart ponies, but being a unicorn just means you can use magic, nothin’ else.  And of course a few unicorns, or alicorns, as some might say, have wings.  That’d be mostly the ponies in any of the royal families though, and Princess Celestia and Luna, for example.  And, since you’re here, I should mention you’re a pegasus, but you look like one of the night ponies.  That includes all of Luna’s royal guards, I believe.  Not sure, since I don’t see much of them.  They’re basically the same as other ponies, but they’re adapted to the night, and have different features.  Have the glowin’ cat eyes, and I guess fins instead of the normal mane or tail.  Also have dragonlike wings instead of the feathery ones.”
“Anything else I should know?  You haven’t told me what this ‘cutie mark’ butt tattoo thing is yet.”
Applejack put a hoof to her face. “Oh, sorry sugarcube, you’ve been such a good listener that I just kept goin’ on and on.  Hope you’ll forgive me.”
“No problem.  Keep going.  Much better than sticking with Poppy and that crazy Pinkie character.”
“Oh, Pinkie.  To be honest, she’s a pony that people like, or they don’t.  She’s a good friend and I love baking with her, but I can understand how you’d feel that way.  She means well though.  So, back to where we were.  Different kinds of ponies.  Twilight could probably tell ya better, ya know, but since you’re here and all lost, I should help you out, considerin’ you’re helping me.  This tidbit isn’t important, but I’ve heard rumors about seaponies.  Never seen one, and most of us haven’t, but it’s a thing that gets tossed around from time to time, so you might want to know.  They’re just ponies who are supposed to have lived in the ocean or lakes, but I think something happened to them.  Don’t know if they’re still around.  Lastly…I think there are some sort of special pegasi in some communal society across the ocean.  They never got out much anyway, as I heard, so most ponies don’t know about them.  The princess told us a bit about them, but it’s not something anypony’d expect you to know about.  Now, cutie marks.  My sis Apple Bloom’s favorite (or least favorite) subject (she still doesn’t have hers yet).  Cutie marks gen’rally represent a pony’s special talent, but sometimes the real meaning can be quite mysterious.  It’s mostly pretty straightforward.  It’s a sign of coming of age, findin’ your own meanin’ to life in a way.  At least that’s how I think of it.”
Cutie marks…my god, have I been sent to my personal hell or something?  I’m going to die of a headache if things get more ridiculous.  At least there’s some sense to them. “So wait, everyone has a tattoo like this, a ‘cutie mark’ thing on their butts…?  Okay, I just thought tattoos were popular around here, and everyone had bad taste in them.  Good to know you aren’t all…cray-cray in the hey-hey.  Or at least you’re not.  You’re about the first halfway decent pony I’ve come across.  What was your name again?”
Applejack smiled and blushed. “Shucks, that’s quite a compliment.  But trust me, once you get to know everypony better, you’ll warm up to them.  And the name’s Applejack.  Thanks for listenin’ to me, Shadowdancer, and welcome to Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Not a problem.  Now you were going to help me with this applebucking like Big Whatsit?”
“Ah, my older brother, Big Macintosh, or Big Mac for short.  You might meet him an’ Apple Bloom later.  When I was first learning to applebuck, he’d help me keep my balance so I could practice, and slowly helped less until it became second nature.  I’ll try to see what I can do today, but I can’t guarantee much.  Hope you’re a fast learner.”
Shadowdancer stood on his forelegs again, and before he fell, Applejack grabbed him just under the forelegs.
“Now give ‘er a kick,” Applejack instructed.
Shadowdancer whipped his hind legs out.  With a thud, the tree wavered and several apples dropped and scattered across the ground.
“Whoa, you’re a natural, Shadow!  Just need to work on that balance and I think you’ll have it.  Want to help me get these apples?”
“Sure.”
The two stopped to pick up all the apples and load them into a few baskets.  Shadowdancer glanced at the horizon.  The sun was already high in the sky.
“Ah, I reckon you wouldn’t recall how the sun n’ moon work around here, would you?”
“Not at all.  What, the earth doesn’t orbit the sun and the moon doesn’t orbit the earth?”
“Wha—not like that at all, partner.  I think you’ve met the princesses.  You and your friend Poppy came around here from Canterlot.  Well, Princess Celestia raises and lowers the sun, and Princess Luna does likewise with the moon.  That’s somethin’ everypony’s known since they were little foals.  I should take it easy on ya, though.”
Shadowdancer chortled. “Remind me not to piss them off.  I wonder what the next crazy surprise about this place will be.”
“You never know, sugarcube, you never know.  So, back to work then?”
“Oh, of course.  Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“No problem.  I’m just glad you decided to come help.  Why don’t you try bucking on your own once?  See how it goes.”
“Sure thing.” Shadowdancer tried again, and missed the trunk, collapsing again.
“Why don’t I help you out for a little longer?”
Shadowdancer sighed. “Ha, sounds good.”
Applejack and Shadowdancer practiced applebucking a few more times before he stopped, brushed off his purple cloak, and said, “I think I’ve got it now.  I’ll try this tree here.”
“All right.  I’m rootin’ for ya.  Let’s see it.”
Shadowdancer hunched and balanced on his forelegs, and loosed a strong, decisive kick.  The tree shook and several apples fell into the baskets placed around it.
“A right fine job you did, Shadowdancer!  Knew you had it in ya.  Do you mind if I go back to take a nap while you buck some more apples?” Applejack yawned and adjusted her hat. “Last night was a tough one.  Didn’t get any sleep until early this mornin’.”
“Of course.  Unless you don’t trust me alone out here.”
“Haha, of course I trust ya, partner.  What’s the worst that could happen?”
“That I wouldn’t get anything done.”
“I don’t see why not.  You are going to buck them apples, right?”
“Yeah, I will.  No need to worry.  Now why don’t you head back home and get some sleep?”
“Sounds good, sugarcube.  And thank you again.  It makes for a lot less work for everypony.”
Shadowdancer watched as Applejack cantered back to the farm house.  Did I see her last night…?  Well, doesn’t matter right now.
Applejack went upstairs and laid her head on her pillow.  That Shadowdancer sure turned out to be a nice guy.  I guess we were all wrong about him.
“Applejack!” cried a little filly with a yellowish coat, red mane, red tail, and a pink bow in her mane. “Ah just thought of somethin’!  We can get our cutie marks for matchmaking!  We can set up a date for you an’ Shadowdancer!”
Applejack groaned. “Apple Bloom!  Where’d you get that idea?  We only met today.  Shadow and I are just acquaintances.”
“Then you can know each other better!” Apple Bloom piped.
“No, Apple Bloom.  That’s our business if we’d like to know each other better.” Applejack turned and pulled her blanket over herself.
“Fine.  But I bet yer thinkin’ about him right now.” Apple Bloom indignantly trotted away, but not before whispering, “Don’t forget to kiss him before he leaves.”
“Phew, finally, I can sleep,” Applejack said with a sigh.  She stared at the ceiling for a while.
She noticed a small crack.  The whole house suddenly shook and the crack widened.  Earthquake?  There hasn’t been one for years!  An orange-red light glared through the crack, and a huge black spider, as large as Applejack’s bed, crawled out.
“No, nonono!  Get away!” Applejack cried in fear as she leapt from her bed.  The spider lowered itself onto her bed and turned toward her.  Its face was that of a bony horse, wide yellow eyes boring into her as she backed away.  The creature grinned maniacally with its single fang as it advanced toward her, trapping her against the wall.
“Miss me, Applejack?” said the creature in a smooth, sarcastic male voice. “I had such fun with you and your friends.  All that fighting…oh, it was hilarious!  And you had to trap me back into stone, didn’t you?  Can’t just live and let live?”
The spider now stood directly before Applejack, who stood on her hind legs, body pressed against the wall and trembling.  Creeping upon her body, the creature began to laugh. “You know what I’ve always wanted to do, Applejack?” the creature cackled. “Eat you.” A single leg tugged at part of her mane and stuffed it into its writhing mouth. “Tastes like…apple cider.  What a surprise,” the creature sighed, narrowing its eyes in disappointment. “Oh, just wait until I get to the main course!” it cried joyfully.
“No!” Applejack yelled, tearing her mane away and kicking the creature in the face.  The house shook again and the floor and walls collapsed.  Applejack felt herself falling, her tattered mane flailing.
A thunderous thump was the last she heard before everything disappeared.
App…!  Over!  Applejack!  Can you hear me?  Are you okay?
“Am I in heaven?” Applejack asked hopefully.
“No, Applejack, you’re still here in Ponyville.  We’re so glad you’re still here with us.”
“T-Twi?” said Applejack as she opened her eyes.  It was a while before her eyes adjusted to the blinding sunlight.  Twilight, smiling, appeared before her.
Something strange was happening as Applejack watched Twilight’s face.  Twilight’s eyes began spinning, and then she puffed up her cheeks as though she was about to vomit.  Then she did…onto Applejack.  Mouth opened wide, something began to poke its way out.  Something black.  Then its face…that maniacal, grinning face.  As it left, Twilight’s body crumpled like a discarded outfit.
“I ate her.  Now it’s your turn, sweet little Applejack.”
Applejack screamed, tears running down her cheeks.  She was in her bed, drenched in sweat.
“Please, I don’t wanna sleep any more,” Applejack said, crying as she stepped out of the bed onto marble floor.
“Wait, this isn’t Sweet Apple Acres.  Where am I?”
A pair of elliptic green eyes flashed before her. “Perfect,” they said in a cold female voice.
Around the corner, a voice muttered, “I’ll kill her.  Should never have trusted her.”
A cold touch startled Applejack.  The point of a blade on her back.
“Move, and I kill you now.  Don’t even turn your head.  But what’s the good in that?  I want to see you painfully bleed to death.”
“I’ve done nothing, I swear!” Applejack stammered.
“Oh, really?  That’s what they always say.”
Her back seared with splitting pain.  Something warm trickled to her hooves.
“Ah, forget it.  You’re going to run if I don’t kill you now.  And then I’ll be left to face your responsibilities.  Your crimes.”
Applejack gasped as the blade was placed across her throat.  A dark hoof quickly dug it through as she screamed and fell to the floor.
“No!  I’m sorry!” Applejack cried before a plane of eternal darkness.
“Applejack!  Wake up!  What’s wrong?  It’s Shadowdancer!”
“Get away from me!  Everypony get away!” Applejack shouted, fumbling in the darkness.
“No, it’s really me!  I was bucking the apples like you said, but your sister heard screaming and brought me in here to help.”
Applejack opened her eyes and blinked several times.  She lay on the floor in front of Shadowdancer and Apple Bloom.
“Sis!  Are ya okay?”
“Why don’t I help you up, Applejack?” said Shadowdancer as he dragged Applejack to her feet. “Didn’t get any splinters, did you?”
Applejack shook her head curtly.
“Naw, Applejack’s big ‘n strong,” Apple Bloom added proudly.
“Good.  Now what happened there?  What was in your dream?”
“Shadowdancer, I—Can we talk about it later?”
“Sure.  Maybe over some food?  Cleared some apples if you want to check.”
Applejack nodded and donned her hat. “All right, let’s see how ya did, sugarcube.”
“Shadowdancer bucked a whole field ‘a apples!  You should ask him to stay and help on the farm more!”
“A whole field?  We’ll see, little sis.”
The three made their way out to the apple orchards.  Applejack stopped and her eyes widened.  Six entire rows of trees were cleaned of their apples. “Great galoshes!  If you stayed on the farm a day or so, I’m sure we could get all the apples on the whole farm!”
“I don’t know, I’m supposed to catch the train back to Canterlot in a while…”
“Won’t you stay fer just a night?” Apple Bloom pleaded with wide eyes.
Shadowdancer paced for a bit and paused, hesitating as he watched Apple Bloom stare piteously at him. “Fine.  But I need to write a letter to Celestia somehow.  She’s accommodating me.”
“That’s no problem.  We can head to Twilight’s for a spell and have Spike send your letter.”
Ugh…doubt she wants to see me again.  Nor do I really want to see her.  Something about her scares me, especially since she can easily make me powerless with her magic.  Shadowdancer’s eyes wandered to the sky.
Dusk began to spread its wings over the sky and the moon even began to peer over the horizon.  Shadowdancer, Applejack, and Apple Bloom ambled towards the main area of Ponyville as they conversed.
“Hmm…all right.  You talk to her first though.  She wouldn’t want to see me first.”
“Why not?  Somethin’ sour between you two?”
“Obviously, I left a bad impression.  She was royally pissed at me for being fairly crude, so she shut me up and lifted me into the air.  Never felt that helpless before.”
“It’s best to stay on her good side.  But I thought she sent ya over here?  She might think there’s some good in you yet.  At least I feel that way about ya.” Applejack smiled and patted Shadowdancer on the back.
“Aw, ain’t that sweet!” Apple Bloom said, hopping up.
“Apple Bloom!”
“It’s fine.  I thought so too,” Shadowdancer said, chuckling.
Applejack narrowed her eyes and sighed. “Anyway…Twilight’s real nice and thoughtful once you get to know her.  She may seem absorbed with her books, but deep down she loves her friends more than anythin’.”
“Well, how is the friend thing going?”
“You again?  It’s going fine.  I’m liking this Applejack character.”
“Don’t get too attached now.”
“What are you implying?  That I have a crush on her?”
“Ha, no.  I’m saying that although friendship is crucial, you need to remember what you came for.”
“I don’t even know anymore.  It doesn’t seem as bad as I thought.”
“Remember what they did to you?”
“Yeah, let me stop you.  It doesn’t work that way.”
“Do you want me on your side?”
“Yeah…”
“Then stop arguing with me.  Do your part, and I’ll do mine, darling.”
“What?  Darling?  I must be lonely.  I’m arguing with a voice in my head that calls me ‘darling’.”
“You heard right.  Alright, I see.  I’ll leave you some alone time with Applejack.”
“The hell…Fine.  Good night, Chrystal, you funny little voice in my head.”
“Nighty-night, darling.”
“Hehe, you dreamin’ about Twilight?  She’s not a bad-lookin’ one, is she?”
“What?  No!  I was talking to voices in my head.”
“Gee, Shadow.  You really messed up your head, or maybe you’re just makin’ a terrible joke.”
“Sure I am.  I really was talking to voices in my head.  You know, when I’m bored or kinda lonely.”
“Lonely?  You’ve got us two walking with you!  But what did the voices say then, sugarcube?”
“Oh, just reminding me to make friends around here.  And arguing with me over what I should be doing.”	
“Hahaha, you’re too funny!  But why do ya feel lonely?”
“Well, I don’t really have many friends, and I just don’t feel that I fit in here.”
“Aw, well, at least you have us.  I know the feeling of not fittin’ in.  Went to stay with my aunt and uncle in Manehattan for a while once.  I tell ya, I really missed the farm life.  Could never fit in with those sophisticated folks.”
“Yeah, I don’t see you as one of those people…”
Applejack waved a hoof in front of Shadowdancer and pointed toward a large tree with several lit windows and a wooden door at the front. “Hold on, Shadowdancer.  It’s this way.”
“She lives in a giant treehouse?”
“Sure does.  It’s the local Ponyville library.”
“She lives…in a library.  Wow.  Just wow.”
“Okay, why don’t we just go and see if she’s in?”
“All right.  You first, remember?”
Applejack trotted to the door and knocked a few times.
Twilight opened the door and beamed. “Applejack!  What brings you here tonight?”
“Oh, Shadowdancer wants to send a letter, but he’s afraid to see you.”
“Afraid?  I’ll admit he was very rude and mean yesterday, but that doesn’t mean I won’t see him.  He did help you out today, right?”
“Sure did.  He’s here to write a letter to the Princess tellin’ her he won’t be back tonight because he’s stayin’ with us to help out more on the farm.  Cleared a whole six rows!”
“That’s wonderful!  Tell him it’s fine to come in!”
Applejack turned and shouted, “Shadowdancer!  Come on over here!  Twilight gave ya the okay!”
“Okay, okay, I’m coming.” Shadowdancer and Apple Bloom made their way to the door.
“Hi Miss Twilight!  Shadowdancer wants to say hi to you!”
“Hello there Apple Bloom.  Hello Shadowdancer.”
“Hi.  Well, actually, I wanted to write a letter and send it.  I hear I’m supposed to talk to a ‘Spike’?”
“Oh, yes, he’s my assistant.  He’s over at Rarity’s right now.  Would you do me a favor and tell him to come back to the library?  I’d really appreciate it.”
“Sounds fine.  Now where is Rarity’s place?”
“I’ll tag along with you and show you the way,” Applejack said.
“Me too!”
“Okay, I’ll see everypony in a few minutes, then?”
“We’ll be back in a jiffy.  Y’all take care now!”
“Thank you.  See you then!” Twilight said as she closed the door.
The three went around the library and down what appeared to be a larger main street.  The streets were now lit with a few streetlamps here and there.  At the end was a circular building with a spire and balcony above.  It appeared to be purplish in the twilight.  A few lights shone through the windows.
“Must have another fashion idea.  Well, she shouldn’t mind.” Applejack knocked on a tall split door with a large gem in each half.
“She sure is well-to-do, isn’t she?”
Applejack laughed. “Rarity can come off as a bit of a snob at firs’, but don’t worry.  She’s got good in her.  So we mayn’t always see eye to eye, but she’s a hardworking and kind spirit.  Always willin’ to go the extra mile for her friends.”
“An’ her sister Sweetie Belle’s one of ma bestest friends!” Apple Bloom said with a grin.
“Now we shouldn’t stay too long, but you can visit with Sweetie Belle for a bit if she’s around.”
“Yay!”
A mare with white coat and a curled and meticulously styled purple mane and tail answered the door. “Hello, Applejack, darling.  How are you tonight?”
“Right wonderful.  Have Shadowdancer helpin’ us on the farm tomorrow.  And you?”
“Marvelous, thank you.  Who is this Shadowdancer?  A newcomer in town?”
“He’s right behind me.  Shadowdancer, this is Rarity.  An’ Rarity, Shadowdancer.”
Shadowdancer stepped out beside Applejack. “Evening.  Shadowdancer.  Pleased to meet you.” He held out a hoof.
Rarity gasped, horrorstruck. “My dear, why are you wearing those rags?  Quickly, come with me and I’ll get the perfect outfit for you!” She snatched Shadowdancer inside and untied his cloak, then turned back to the door. “Oh, where are my manners?  Come in!”
Apple Bloom trailed behind Applejack through the door.  Apple Bloom immediately began looking around.
“Is Sweetie Belle here tonight?”
“Oh, no, I’m sorry, Apple Bloom.  She’s not visiting me at the Boutique tonight,” Rarity said as she threw a measuring tape around a still and perplexed Shadowdancer.
“Aww…Is Spike here?  He needs to come back to Twilight’s soon.”
“Hold your horses, I’m coming!” called a voice from the back.  A short purple lizard trudged out on two legs, holding a bundle of fabrics of various colors.
“Hello…Spike?” Shadowdancer said, confused.
“Yeah, I’m Spike.  You need me to go back to the library, right?”
“Yes, that.  But I was expecting you to be a pony…”
“Me?  No, I’m a baby dragon,” Spike said as he set the fabrics down on the floor. “Here you go, Rarity.”
“Oh, thank you, Spike.  Could you bring me another roll of purple, please?”
“Of course, Rarity.  Anything for you.”  Spike raced back hastily and retrieved another roll of fabric.
“Excellent.  So Twilight sent you here with Applejack?  They are both wonderful friends of mine.”
“Now how about that Rainbow Dash?  Surely you don’t get along with her?”
“Nonsense!  We’re quite good friends too!  I made them, and two of my other best friends, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, dresses for the Gala.  Haha, of course, the Gala didn’t go quite as planned, but we made the best we could of it, didn’t we, Applejack?”
“Sure did,” Applejack said, chuckling.
“So, where are you from, Shadowdancer?  I hear you’re from Canterlot.  Oh, the sophistication, the culture!  Simply marvelous!”
“Ha, I guess.  But I’m actually from another place entirely…where there are humans and no talking pony things.”
“Humans?  Whatever do you mean?”
“You know, they walk on two legs, are pretty much hairless except on the head, and have hands and thumbs?”	
“Rarity, you’re bound not to understand.  Seems the poor guy’s lost around here.  Claims he’s from another planet and don’t seem to know a thing about ponies.”
“Oh, Shadowdancer, dear, you must take a rest.  Come and have a cup of tea while I work on your cloak!”
“We’d be happy to, Rarity, but Shadowdancer’s got a letter to write, and Spike needs to come back too.”
“All right.  I’ll have your cloak finished by tomorrow, Shadowdancer!  Take care now, dears!  You too, Spikey-Wikey!”
“Bye!” the group said in unison.
“Spikey-Wikey?  Oh, that’s cute!” Shadowdancer cried, laughing.
Applejack narrowed her eyes and glared at Shadowdancer. “Give him a rest, Shadow.”
“Okay, sorry.  I just lose it after I get tired.  That’s only the tip of the iceberg.”
“We all do, Shadowdancer.  We’d better get that letter taken care of and get you some sleep then.”
“Right-o.”
The crew started at a brisk jog and quickly reached Twilight’s library.  Twilight immediately opened the door for them.  Shadowdancer immediately asked for a pen.
“Right here,” Twilight replied as she handed him a white quill and pointed to an open ink bottle and parchment on a desk.  Shadowdancer dipped the quill in the bottle and tried to scrawl something on the parchment, but dropped it and left a blot.
“Damn it!  Maybe one of you could write…?  I’ll figure out writing later.”
Applejack and Apple Bloom giggled. “Oh, Shadow, looks like you’re learning everything over again!  Just like a little colt.  You’re a fast learner though,” Applejack said.
“Yeah, give me a break on all this, okay?  This is my, what, third day in this body?  And of course I’m learning it all fast.  That’s because I already learned all this years ago as a human.”
Twilight’s eyes brightened. “Humans?  That’s very interesting.  I was just reading a history book about them.  I guess before ponies came to what is now Equestria, they may have lived on another continent with humans.”
“Uh, no.  Not there.  I’m pretty sure I’m from a different planet or this is some messed up alternate dimension.”
“Alternate dimension?” Twilight said, the spark in her eyes even greater than before.
Shadowdancer’s face sunk, unamused. “Ah, never mind.  Could you write me that letter?”
“Oh, sorry.  I get sidetracked all the time.  I love talking about existential phenomena!  We should talk more about it when you have time.”
“Sure…I guess.” God damn, why did I just agree to that?  Now I’ll hear no end of that talk!  I may not be an idiot, but there’s a reason I didn’t do any more science or philosophy classes after high school.  Of course, the whole point is for you to do what they want anyway.
Twilight sat at the desk and readied her quill. “What did you want to say to Princess Celestia?”
“Hm…There’s no need to worry.  I’m back in, er…Ponyville, and staying with Applejack, at least for tonight.  I’m going to be helping her at Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow.  Tell Aliya not to worry her crazy little head about me.  Twilight will make sure I stay in line.  Oh, and she wrote this letter, because my hooves are worth crap for writing.”
“Is that everything, Shadowdancer?”
“One last thing.  P.S. How’s the liquor in Canterlot?  I’ll be back early if I can get some good stuff that hits you faster than a cheap one off the street.”
“Hits you faster than what?” Twilight asked, baffled.
“Nevermind that.  Just write it and send it off.”
Twilight scribbled down “…a cheap one off the street.” She glanced at what she’d written again, shrugged, and sealed it. “Spike?  Would you send this?” she said as she passed the sealed scroll to Spike.  With a puff of his yellow-green fire, the scroll seemed to burn away and vanish.
“Hey, wait!  You burned it up?”
“No, don’t worry, Shadowdancer.  That’s how I send letters to Princess Celestia.  Then when she sends letters back, Spike will, well, burp them out.”
“Okay.  What.  The.  Friggin.  Hell…is wrong with this place?!”
“I know it’s a little weird at first, but—”
“No, ‘weird’ doesn’t even begin to describe everything I’ve seen here.  This is f—fudgecaking fudged up!  I may as well be trippin’ on everything in the book while at a frickin’ anime convention in Mexico!  I don’t even know if that makes sense!  To hell with sense!  It all makes as much sense as a pig’s ars…enal.  And why in the hell do you do this to Spike?  Have him burp up everything that’s sent to you?  No, I’ve had enough of all this.  I just want to cry myself to sleep, and wake up all warm and comfortable on Earth with hands.  Not hooves.  Please, mommy, I want to go home…”
“Uh, Shadow, take it easy there, fella.  You’ll be all right.”
“NO!  Get away from me!  You all scare me!  I want to die a horrible death so I don’t have to think about e-ever being t-tortured here again!”
Applejack whispered to Twilight. “What do we do?  We can’t just leave him here.  I think he’s gone fully insane if he hadn’t before.”
“No, I think I believe him.  I’m not sure how it’s possible, but it could happen.  I have some vague ideas of how.  But as for Shadowdancer, we’ll have to leave him for a bit.  I can’t think of anything yet, but if all else fails, I can at least put a sleeping spell over him.”
“Did somepony say ‘fudgecake’?” Pinkie Pie said as she suddenly burst through the door. “I love fudge!  But too much fudge means—”
Shadowdancer sobbed, now behind a podium. “P-p-plea-please…stop.  I can’t…I CAN’T!”
Pinkie Pie only smiled and addressed Shadowdancer. “Can’t what?  Can’t walk like this?” she said as she began to walk, almost like a ballet dancer, on her hind legs. “Don’t be sad…I can teach you!” Pinkie Pie cried jovially.
“No…home…no more ponies.  Kill me.”
Pinkie Pie’s smile suddenly faded and sunk into a wide-eyed frown.  “Kill me.”  The hardened words continued to echo in her head, funneling into a part of her mind that rarely ever surfaced.
Applejack stared hopelessly at Twilight. “Twilight…hold me.”
The two cowered and trembled.  Apple Bloom and Spike, bewildered, ran for the door.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” was the scream from Pinkie Pie’s mouth, describable only as a screeching banshee howl.
Time almost appeared to have stopped.  Everyone lay on the ground, aside from Pinkie Pie, eyes wide and absent, and her face drawn into a maddened frown.
“Waaaaaaaaa!” Pinkie Pie wailed, tears freely streaming down her cheeks. “Why can’t I make anyone happy?  Why?  WHY!” She began to jump and flail wildly about the library, flinging books across the room and toppling furniture, including the podium that Shadowdancer had been hiding behind.  Shadowdancer buried his head under a book.
The book lifted from Shadowdancer’s head and he felt himself raised to Pinkie’s eye level.  Bitter, unsympathetic eyes met his and sealed his fate.
“Speak.”
All that came in response was a muffled squeal.
“I said, ‘speak’.”
Nothing but trembling lips.
“Speak!” she cried.  Her hooves, as well as her eyes, dug deeper into him with every passing moment.
The door flashed open and flooded the library with yellow-white light, marking Princess Celestia’s entrance.  She stepped through the door with a commanding air.
“Pinkamena Diane Pie.  Shadowdancer.”
Pinkie Pie released Shadowdancer, allowing him to collapse on the floor.  She gaped at Princess Celestia, eyes shrunk.
“What happened?  Not only did you wake several Ponyville residents, but both of you have terrified your friends beyond imagination.  Explain.”
Pinkie Pie and Shadowdancer simply stared blankly at Princess Celestia, silence filling their mouths.
Finally Pinkie Pie spoke. “H-he said he wanted to d-d-die.”
Princess Celestia nodded understandingly.
“Princess!  Wait!” Applejack said as she stood to her hooves. “It—it’s not anyone’s fault!  We can explain!”
“Shadowdancer says he was a human from another world…and I think I believe him, as crazy as his story might be,” Twilight added. “We have to help him go back!  He can’t comprehend the way this world works…please, it’s driving him insane!”
“I know.  But there’s nothing I can do to help him go back, unfortunately.  Shadowdancer, would you like to come back to Canterlot with me?”
Shadowdancer trembled. “No.  I-I’ll stay.”
“Well, have any of you learned any lessons you’d like to share?”
“Y-yes.  When in doubt…don’t panic.  Things will o-only get worse.”
“Thank you, Shadowdancer.  That is an excellent lesson.  I hope you all have learned something tonight.”
“We have.  Thank you so much, Princess Celestia!” Twilight said, hugging Princess Celestia.  She hugged Twilight back.
“Of course, Twilight.  I always want to be sure everything’s okay.  Can all of you look after each other without my help?”
“Yes, I think we can.”
Pinkie’s eyes pooled with tears. “I’m sorry!  I’m sorry I did all this!”
Twilight smiled and hugged Pinkie. “It’s not your fault, Pinkie.  We still love you, right, everypony?”
Applejack joined Twilight, and Princess Celestia wrapped a wing around Pinkie.  Twilight’s eyes narrowed at Shadowdancer. “You too, Shadowdancer.”
Shadowdancer grumbled as he heaved himself up and joined the group hug.
“Aw, I love you all too!”
Princess Celestia smiled. “I hope you all can continue to keep each other strong through friendship.  And before I go, Shadowdancer, what does “faster than a cheap one off the street” mean?”
“Oh…that.  You know…prostitutes, I guess you’d say.”
Princess Celestia simply paused, aghast, mouth open and wordless.
“I’m sorry, Princess.  No more sexual innuendos in my letters, I promise.” Shadowdancer offered a hoof to shake.
Princess Celestia remained silent, and finally shook Shadowdancer’s hoof. “Alright.  Good night, everypony.  And don’t forget to apologize to everyone who you woke up.” She then walked out the door as Spike and Apple Bloom came running back inside.
“You’re all okay!” Spike announced.
“Of course we are!”
“Please don’t let that happen again,” Applejack said, shaking her head.
“Well, at least it’s over now,” Pinkie concluded.  Everyone sighed.
A knock at the door interrupted them.
“Fiddlesticks.  Who wants to answer?”