> PonyPhone
>  by Coyotek4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> "Thank you for using PonyPhone, how may I assist you?"
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Mayor Mare steps up to the draped podium, scanning the crowd before her address.  She notices that a number of Ponyvilleans are distracted by the T-shaped wooden poles erected all along the myriad of streets in the town, as well as the crisscrossing wires that run along the tops of those poles and into their homes and businesses.  She smiles at the thought of all the work done leading up to this day, and she begins her address.

                “Citizens of Ponyville, I thank you all for coming.  Today marks the dawning of a new advancement in communication for our fair town.  After many moons of research, training, and labor, I am proud to unveil … Ponyphone!”

                The mayor removes the drapery from the podium, revealing a microphone alongside a half-open tin can with a wire protruding from its closed side, running down the podium and through the floor of the makeshift stage.  She detects various murmurs of ‘Is that all?’ and ‘So what?’ among the crowd before continuing.

                “I have had this particular can set up as a demonstration.  I would like you all to take a look around.  Do any of you see either Applejack or Rarity in the audience today?”  As many ponies turn to each other in a vain attempt to spot their resident farmer and clothier, the mayor continues: “Applejack is currently at her home in Sweet Apple Acres, while Rarity is at Carousel Boutique.  Now observe.”

                The mayor takes the can into her hoof and speaks into the open end.  “Please connect me to Sweet Apple Acres.”  She waits for a few seconds, and then continues.  “Applejack, this is Mayor Mare speaking.  Can you hear me?”  She then holds the can up to the microphone.

                “Ah hear you loud and clear, mayor!”  Applejack’s voice resonates through the speakers set up around the crowd.  The mayor smiles as the previous quizzical murmurs turn to oohing and aahing, then brings the can back to near her mouth.

                “Thank you, Applejack.  End call.”  She pauses again before continuing.  “Please connect me to Carousel Boutique … Rarity, this is Mayor Mare.  How are you doing today?”  She again holds the can up to the microphone.

                “I am doing very well, Miss Mare.  Thank you for asking.”  Rarity’s voice creates further chats and nods of approval from the crowd.

                “Thank you, Rarity.  End call.”  The mayor puts down the can and addresses the crowd.  “My fellow ponies: each of you now has the ability to contact anypony else in town, before ever leaving the comfort of your residence or place for business.  Thus, if you wish to make arrangements first thing in the morning, or the rain is coming down particularly hard, or if you’re under the weather in a more body-and-mind sense … that power is now at your hooftips.”

                The mayor pauses and accepts a wave of clopping applause and stomping on the ground from the citizenry.  “I can now take questions from the audience.  Yes, you.”

                A mint-colored unicorn speaks up: “How does this technology work?  Or is that proprietary information?”

                The mayor laughs.  “No secrets with this administration, Lyra.  After months of research, with assistance from Princess Twilight Sparkle and her protégé Starlight Glimmer, we have found a way to connect any pair of ponies who have access to the network created all around you.  Amethyst Star will be handling the day-to-day operations from right here in town hall; in fact, she’s the one who connected me to Applejack and Rarity during our little demonstration.  OK, next question.  Yes, you there in the back.”

                Next to ask is a grey pegasus with unfocused yellow eyes.  “Will this be putting us mailponies out of work?”

                “You have nothing to fear, dear Derpy.  There will always be need for messages and parcels to be sent.  This is simply a new alternate form of correspondence between ponies.  Anypony else?  Yes, Mr. Rich.”

                Filthy Rich spoke up: “Will the system be up and running twenty-four-seven?”

                “Initially no; currently, only Amethyst is trained for handling the operational duties.  She will be on call for two shifts per day: from 7 to 11 AM, and from 3 to 7 PM.  As we get more unicorns trained, we will extend those hours; our hope is to have the system on nonstop in about a moon.  Any more questions at this time?”

                The mayor scans the crowd, seeing nopony else raising a hoof.  “Well then, as it is now 4 o’clock, I hope to hear that Amethyst is a busy pony soon.  Thank you all for coming.”

                A final round of applause greets the mayor, who nods in acceptance as she heads into the town hall building.



                Slow start, Amethyst thinks to herself as she eyes a clock in the room, the time showing 4:15.  Her gaze shifts back to the dozens of tin cans dangling from above, each one potentially waiting to vibrate to indicate somepony on the other end, eager to use the new system.

                She was so meticulous in her work.  The time she put in with Starlight Glimmer to ensure that each can would vibrate with a ringing sound when used … surely that effort wasn’t for naught.  Perhaps everypony is just nervous at what’s new and foreign to them.  Hopefully, somepony would—

                BRRRRRRING!!!!!

                This is it!  My first call!  Amethyst considers possible notable quotations to use to mark the occasion as she answers the call.  “Thank you for using PonyPhone.  My name is Amethyst; how may I assist you?”

                “Yes, this is Mega Watt from Pony Power.  Is your refrigerator running?”

                ‘Mega Watt’?  I never heard of anypony by that name.  And what is ‘Pony Power’?  “Excuse me?”

                “Well … you better catch it, then!”  The laughter that follows causes Amethyst to grumble to herself and abruptly end the call.

                Some use of technology this turned out to be.  Amethyst sighs, just as another can starts ringing and vibrating.  Shaking off the initial prank call, she resumes a professional tone and answers:  “Thank you for using PonyPhone.  My name is Amethyst; how may I assist you? … Lyra! … certainly, I’ll put you through to Bon Bon right now.”

                Amethyst quickly scans a reference list on her desk, then levitates another hanging can to connect with Lyra’s.  Satisfied that the call has successfully gone through, her peace of mind and optimism for the job returns.  Suddenly, another can goes off.

                Now we’re talking!  “Thank you for using PonyPhone.  My name is Amethyst; how may I assist you? …”



                Breakfast at Sweet Apple Acres begins with a question of disdain, much as it has for the past several days:  “So, callin’ any of yer friends today on that fancy doohickey you got put installed in our fair farmhouse?”

                Applejack rolls her eyes as she fries up the last of the pancakes.  “Granny Smith, you’ve been goin’ on about that phone ever since the line was installed.  Don’t you get tired of bringin’ it up every mornin’?”

                “Some things are worth fightin’ for, and simpler times is one of ‘em.”

                Applejack pays little heed, walking out of the kitchen to call her sister for breakfast.  She returns and addresses the same issue she’s addressed for the past several days.

                “You know Ah’m as much for down-home livin’ as any Apple, but the times are changin’ whether we’re ready for them or not.  I mean, just yesterday Ah placed an order for a new automatic sower for the fields; it don’t rely on no magic, and it’ll cut the time for plantin’ crops in half.  That means we’ll be able to get done twice as much around here as we used to.”

                Granny Smith grumbles to herself.  “I still can’t believe you’d have anything to do with them Flim-Flam brothers!  Have you already fergottin’ ‘bout the cider incident?”

                Applejack frowns.  “Ah’ll remind you that Ah don’t trust those two shysters as far as Ah could buck ‘em … but for all the issues we’ve had with ‘em over the years, Ah do recognize engineerin’ know-how when Ah see it.  And this ain’t the same as the cider incident; cider-makin’ requires a little TLC with the process, but sowin’ seeds is just routine work.  Anyways, Ah ain’t workin’ with Flim and Flam directly; they kept around Silver Shill to handle local business while they’re scammin’ away in Las Pegasus … and Ah can trust that pony!”

                “Still sounds like so much more snake oil, if’n you ask me.”

                “Ah inspected the machine mahself just the other day.  Looks real sweet.  Ah’m just waitin’ for mah order to come in; Silver Shill’s gonna call me when he’s ready to make the delivery.  Ya see?  I don’t got to make another trip to finalize anything; Ah can focus on the chores around the farm.  That’s convenience right there.”

                Granny Smith mutters to herself about ‘know-it-all grandchildren’ as Apple Bloom joins the group for breakfast.



                Manning the register at Sugarcube Corner, her mind darting to every possible location in the known universe, Pinkie Pie is quickly snapped back to reality as the bell from the entrance tingles.  She is surprised to see Rarity pronking towards her, beaming from ear to ear and with abject glee in her eyes.

                “Hey Rarity!  Practicing for the role of me in my eventual life-story movie?  Cause I’ve been practicing for that role my entire life!”

                “Nothing of the sort,” Rarity responds, “just came for a box of pecan clusters.  I’m in a celebratory mood today.”

                “ooOOOOoooo … does this call for a party?  Cause I know the perfect planner for—”

                “Nonono … not that celebratory, dear.  But I am absolutely giddy with excitement!”

                “Well I can see that.  So what’s got you all smiles and sunshine today?  Successful fashion show?  Opening a 4th Carousel Boutique?  Learn a life lesson regarding you and Sweetie Belle?  Completed your taxes?”

                “I located a vintage, pristine-condition, Saddle Singer sewing machine!!!”

                Pinkie maintains a silent smile for several seconds … then frowns and admits, “You lost me.”

                “Pinkie, darling, these sewing machines have been out of production for years.  They’re a part of fashion history, and soon I will be in possession of one of the last working models in Equestria.”

                Rarity’s smile does little to clear Pinkie’s confusion.  “But … you already own a sewing machine.  Is yours broken?”

                “Oh Pinkie, I shan’t be actually using the Saddle Singer model … it will just make for a wonderful conversation piece.  A fitting addition to the store … and I could display it in Canterlot or Manehattan if I so choose.”

                Pinkie shrugs and smiles.  “Well … if it makes you happy, then that makes me happy.  And I like when me is happy.”  She proceeds to fill a box with Rarity’s request.  “So how did you even learn about this sewing machine?”

                “A friend of a friend of Fancy Pants.  Once I found out a former salespony of the company was parting with some of his collection, I just had to have it.  It’s being shipped from Los Equinès and should arrive in a couple days.  Until then, the anticipation is more than I can keep bottled up.”

                Rarity levitates the box of pecan clusters and pronks out the shop, leaving Pinkie’s mind to again wander around the cosmos.



                Has it really only been a week?

                Amethyst strolls to her workstation and observes a clock on the wall.  6:55.  Who knew so many ponies would be up so early?  She lets out a yawn, still exhausted after an overtime shift the night before.

                I swear, if that prankster makes ONE MORE CALL, I’m gonna …  She ponders exactly what she would do.  The maniacal laughter from the other end, after asking for ‘Seymour Flank’, still rang in her ears.  If only she could catch that no-good funny pony in the act, she could …

                “That’s it!” she shouts to nopony.  “I’ll just put a trace on the call the next time she pulls that.  Then I’ll have her.  Then she’ll pay!”

                An alarm goes off, signaling the beginning of the 7 AM shift.  At once, a dozen tin cans begin to vibrate and ring in unison.  She sighs and answers a can.

                “Thank you for using PonyPhone.  My name is Amethyst; how may I assist you? … yes, Bon Bon, I can connect you to Lyra, but you’ve been chatting on the phone every day; maybe you’d like to actually … yes, of course.  My apologies; I’ll put you through to her right now.”  Amethyst groans as she connects up the cans of the twosome yet again, then answers another can.

                “Thank you for using PonyPhone.  My name is … well, yes it’s still just me, but … it’s just a standard opening.  It’s professional … could you please tell me who you would like to speak to? … Me??? … I’m touched, but I’m very busy right now; let me contact you at a later time.”  She puts down the can and shakes her head.

                “Special delivery!”

                Amethyst turns from the cans and sees Derpy standing near a box.  “What’s in the box?  Who’s it from?”

                “I don’t know … and I don’t know,” the grey pegasus replies as she eyes the multitude of cans.  “Wow, there’re a lot of cans in here!”

                “I’m well aware of that,” Amethyst acknowledges through clenched teeth.  She walks over to the box and opens the lid.  Peering in, she is surprised to see a cake in the shape of Princess Luna.  “Now who would be sending me this?  Derpy,” she says as she turns to the messenger, “are you sure this wasn’t meant for the Princesses?  Or maybe Twilight?”

                “I’m sure,” Derpy responds, still awed by the cans.

                Levitating the box to a table, Amethyst pushes the cake out of her thoughts and returns to her duties.  She answers another can: “Thank you for using PonyPhone.  My name is Amethyst; how may I assist you?”

                The sound of childish snickering on the other end angers the unicorn.  “Who is this?”

                “Do you … *mmmph* … do you have Princess Luna in a box?  Cause … *hehee* … cause you better let her out then!  BWAHAHAHAA!!!”

                OH, THAT IS IT!!!

                Amethyst’s horn glows, as does the can she just answered.  She turns towards the hallway and begins to trot off; her actions shake Derpy out of her trance.

                “Wait!” the pegasus calls out.  “What about all these calls?”

                “Just cover for me for a few minutes.  I need to deal with this, right now.”

                “Cover for you?  How do I do that?”

                Amethyst ponders for a moment, then levitates out a roll of masking tape from a desk drawer.  “Just answer each can like I would and use the tape to match cans up when necessary.  Here:”

                A pulse emanates from the unicorn, causing all the cans to glow.  “Everything’s activated now.  All you have to do is match up cans.  Shouldn’t be a big deal.  Thanks!  I owe you!”

                Amethyst bolts out the door, leaving a nervous Derpy to handle a myriad of calls.  She reaches for one can and answers: “Thank you for using PhonyPone … I mean PonyPhone.  This is … Amethyst.  How may I help you?”



                The incessant ringing of the tin can in the Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse spurs Granny Smith to action.

                Consarne it, told mahself Ah’d never answer that durned can.  Reaching the phone, Granny answers the call.

                “Y’ello … what’s that? … Oh, right, the sowing thing … yeah, just bring it over to Sweet Apple Acres, we’re expectin’ it … what’s so confusin’ about it, just drop it off in the fields and stop questionin’ yer elders!”  She hangs up in a huff as Applejack enters.  “Fine time fer you to be out of the house!”

                “Ah had to feed the chickens, same as Ah always do.  Why, somethin’ wrong?”

                “No, nothin’s wrong, just don’t like havin’ to answer yer dang tin can is all.”

                Applejack’s eyebrow rises.  “Who was on the phone just now?”

                “Probably that Silver Shill fella.  Anyways, yer Flim-Flammy sower’s on its way.”

                “Really?  Well hot-diggedy!  That’s super!”

                “Well it’d be real super if you focused on getting’ yer apple-buckin’ done.”

                Applejack gives Granny a derisive look before heading back out to continue her chores.



                Focused on an intricate dress design, Rarity’s concentration is briefly interrupted by the ringing of the phone on the opposite wall.  “Sweetie Belle, can you please get that for me?  I’m a little busy right now.”

                “I got it,” her sister calls out as she reaches the phone.  “Hello … what? … hold on a moment …”

                Covering up the open end of the can, Sweetie Belle addresses her sister.  “Rarity, I think you need to answer this.  Something about a sew-er.”

                “Oh, that’ll be my Saddle Singer vintage sewing machine!  Just tell the deliverypony to bring it to Carousel Boutique.”

                Sweetie Belle nods and speaks back into the can.  “Yeah, just bring it to Carousel Boutique … ummm, hold on a moment.”  She again covers up the open end.  “He thinks there’s some sort of mistake.  He says—”

                “Oh for Celestia’s sake!”  Her concentration now broken, Rarity drops her work and walks over to the phone, magically swiping it from Sweetie Belle’s aura.  “This really isn’t so hard to understand, just bring it through the front door of Carousel Boutique.  Got it? … Good!”  She hangs up the phone and sighs, then composes herself in front of her sister.  “I’m sorry you had to see that.  But I’ve been waiting for this sewing machine for a while, and now that it’s nearly here, I can barely contain my emotions.  I mean, you know I’m usually calm and collected.”

                Sweetie Belle looks out the corners of her eyes.  “Yeeeahhh …”



                Twenty minutes and several calls later, Amethyst trots back into the main phone room, a sly grin on her face.

                “Can I go now?” Derpy nervously asks.  “I still got mail to deliver, and I don’t know if I did everything OK.”

                “I’m sure you did fine,” Amethyst assures the pegasus, “and I owe you big time.  But I got the trace done.  Once my shift is over, I’m taking some security ponies with me and I’m gonna raid that troublemaker’s home!  She’s gonna pay!”

                Derpy views the unicorn’s expression with equal parts fear and anxiety.  “Well … good luck with that.  Now, uh … can I go?”

                “Go … and thank you again!”

                Derpy nods and flies out of the room as Amethyst undoes the masking tape and reorganizes her work area to its more usual conditions.



                “Sorry Ah had to cancel our spa day … again … but Ah really do got a lot on mah plate today.”

                Rarity groans as she and Applejack walk towards Sweet Apple Acres.

                “Anyway, Ah also wanted to show you somethin’ that should help me make more spa days goin’ forward.  Ah ordered a new automatic sower for the fields.  Should cut the time for plantin’ the veggies in half!”

                “We’ve known each other long enough that I won’t feel sorry for not showing exuberance over farm equipment,” Rarity states, “but I’m for anything that gives you more free time.”

                “Oh, this oughta free up a lot of time.  Mostly for gettin’ more chores done, of course, but also so Ah can spend more time with you ‘n the others.  Ah got the call several hours ago, so it should already be in the fields.”

                Now at the edge of the Ponyville town limits, the twosome look over the hill towards the fallow fields.  Applejack scans for the machinery, but sees nothing.  “Hmm … somethin’ must’ve delayed the delivery.  Well, Ah got enough patience to wait a little longer before—”

                “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”

                Rarity’s sudden scream of anguish catches Applejack by surprise, as the former gallops off towards the fields.

                “Rarity, what’s wrong?  HEY, WHERE YA RUNNING OFF TO???”

                Wasting no more time, AJ sprints off towards the unicorn.  As she approaches the empty field, a rectangular object appears to her from the distance.  Coming closer, she slows to a trot and comes up to Rarity, who expresses a fixed look of shock on her face.  She looks down at the object.

                “Is that a … what’s a sewin’ machine doin’ all the way out here?”

                “That’s not just a ‘sewing machine’,” an angry Rarity states.  “That’s my vintage, pristine-condition, Saddle Singer sewing machine … sitting in a pile of dirt!”

                Applejack turns to Rarity.  “What, your old machine’s busted?”

                “No, my old machine is not ‘busted’, Applejack.  This is part of fashion history, a keepsake I just acquired … what’s it doing out here?”  A glow emanates from Rarity’s horn as the sewing machine levitates into the air; she inspects the underside and shakes her head at the caked on dirt.  “Really now, this is unacceptable.  I distinctly told them to bring this through the front door of the boutique.”

                Applejack checks under the still-floating sewing machine.  “Well, it’s just a little dirt; Ah’m sure you can clean it up all nice-like.  But that is weird.  Ah mean, this is where mah automatic sowin’ machine oughta be.”

                “… oh no …”

                The Saddle Singer model drops out of the air and lands hard on the dirt, its base cracking upon impact.

                “Rarity!  Why in tarnation did’ya just drop yer sewin’ machine like that?”

                “ ‘Sewing’, Applejack?  With an ‘E’?  Or ‘sowing’ with an ‘O’?  As in, your machine or mine?”  Panic resonates in Rarity’s voice as she hastily turns tail and bolts from the fields, back towards town.

                “Huh … Ah guess ‘sewing’ and ‘sowing’ do sound the same.”  Applejack chuckles to herself, before the realization hits her.  “Oh crud.  WAIT FOR ME!!!”

                AJ chases after Rarity as the two reach the outer edge of Ponyville and dart down the streets.  As she passes Sugarcube Corner, Rarity is met by her agitated sister.

                “Rarity, you gotta get to—”

                “I know, Sweetie Belle,” she hastily replies without breaking stride.  Passing more houses, businesses, and the town hall, Rarity finally spots Carousel Boutique in the distance … with an odd piece of equipment sticking out of one end.

                “No-no-no-no-…”  As she approaches the front of the shop, Rarity’s worst fears are confirmed: the front doors and parts of the wall on either side are demolished, as a large piece of farm machinery sticks out from the entrance.  She peers into a window and sees that the machinery had been pushed into her display stage, collapsing the latter under its immense girth.  ponyquinns are knocked down on either side, and a thick layer of dust covers everything within.

                “MY BOUTIQUE!!!”

                “MAH SOWER!!!”  Applejack looks around the chaos and spots Silver Shill holding a clipboard.  She runs towards him and explodes.

                “What in the hay d’ya think yer doin’, Shill?  Does that thing LOOK like it belongs in a dress shop?”

                “Whoa-whoa-whoa-, why are you mad at me?  I was just delivering this where your little sister said to drop it off … and then you confirmed it.”

                “Mah sister didn’t pick up no phone,” Applejack angrily retorts.  “That was mah Granny Smith.”

                “Really?  Wow, she sounds like a foal over the phone!”

                Sweetie Belle, having followed the others back to the shop, trots over to Shill.  “Mister, why’d you destroy my sister’s store?”

                “Hey now, you sound just like Applejack’s granny, you know that?”

                Applejack hoofpalms in exasperation.  “Shill, you were talkin’ to Sweetie Belle on the phone!”

                “Oh … well, that would explain the voice … but I don’t get it.  I told the operator to patch me through to Sweet Apple Acres, not Carousel Bouti—”

                Shill is suddenly pounced on by Rarity, who knocks the former to the ground and growls at him as she attempts to wrap her forehooves around his neck.  Applejack and Sweetie Belle jump in and manage to pull her off the still-confused pony.

                “Somepony is going to regret this!” Rarity asserts.

                “Darn straight … and that pony probably works the phones.  Let’s pay a visit to Mayor Mare.”

                The two trudge back through the town, saying nothing, steam continuing to pour from each of their ears.  As they reach the town hall and start to ascend the stairs, a commotion causes each to turn towards Amethyst Star, who’s accompanied by a pair of burly earth ponies dragging along in handcuffs a particular pegasus.  For a moment, the two forget about their current issues; they call out in unison:

                “Fluttershy???”

                “I … I don’t know what’s going on,” the yellow pegasus pleads.

                “Stop playing dumb,” Amethyst demands.  “I put the trace on those prank calls, and they led right to your cottage.  Do you know what the penalty is for making prank calls?”

                “… no?”

                “Well … we don’t have one yet, but there’s gonna be.  And I’m making an example out of you and your childish ways!”

                “Now hold on just one gosh dang minute!”  Applejack demands as she walks up to Amethyst and looks her in the eye.  “For starters, how in Equestria do ya mix up Sweet Apple Acres with Carousel Boutique!”

                “Oh.”  Amethyst looks away for a moment.  “Well, I may have outsourced the work to another pony for a few minutes … sorry for any inconvenience that may have caused.”

                “You destroyed my shop, you … you … incompetino!” a riled-up Rarity screams.

                “And now you got Fluttershy all chained up?” Applejack continues.  “What’s that all about?”

                “Hey, she started this!” Amethyst states.  “All those prank calls, making up fake names and everything.”

                “Well that don’t sound like …”  Applejack pauses, then turns to her bound friend.  “Fluttershy, where were you this mornin’?”

                “I was at home.  Rainbow Dash was over for a visit, and—”

                “Rainbow Dash?  What was she doin’ at your place.”

                “She was saying something about a cake she sent to somepony; I couldn’t really make out everything else since she was giggling the whole time.”

                “Did you step outta your cottage for any reason?”

                “Well … I did feed the birds like I always do.”

                Applejack shakes her head … again … at the continued nonsense she’s been dealing with all morning.  “Amethyst, get your goons to take the cuffs off the hoofs of …”

                A discernible rumbling is felt by all the ponies.  “Now what,” Applejack asks.

                “Oh dear …”

                The others turn to the direction Fluttershy is facing and eye hundreds of beavers scurrying towards their location near the town hall.  The throng halts as a single beaver runs up to Fluttershy and anxiously chats with the bound pegasus, interrupting her answers with high-pitched angry chirps.

                “What did I do? … Nothing, really, but I think it’s all just a misunder— … well, yes, she was responsible, but … now I don’t think they meant to … WAIT!”

                The lead beaver squeaks an unintelligible command to the group, which promptly disperses to telephone poles throughout the town.  Immediately, they begin chewing through the bases.

                “WAIT!!!  STOP!!! …”

                Amethyst’s pleas go unheeded as, one by one, poles start to crash down into the streets and alleys.  Tin cans are ripped from the hooves of unsuspecting ponies and flung into walls, where the wires are snapped from the can bases.  Witnesses breathe sighs of relief as all the poles topple away from structures … except for one, which crashes into the town hall, caving its roof in.  Several ponies emerge from a dust cloud, fleeing from the municipal building, followed by an exasperated, coughing Mayor Mare.

                “Good heavens, what happened here?” the mayor exclaims before surveying the carnage before her.  “What happened to all the telephone poles …”  Her eyes turn to the still-cuffed Fluttershy, then glare as they shift focus to Amethyst: “… and why is the Element of Kindness in chains?”

                Amethyst squirms in place, her eyes darting left to right, top to bottom.  “Uh … mistaken identity?”

                Mayor Mare opens her mouth to speak, but is interrupted by a blue blur that suddenly streaks by.

                “Hey Amethyst, did’ja get any calls for Seymour Flank recently?  BWAHAHAHAA!!!”

                Rainbow Dash doubles over in mid-air hysterics for a minute, then composes herself when she notices the silence pervading around her.  She looks around the fallen poles strewn about Ponyville and notices the crushed town hall.

                “Hey, what happened to all the poles?”

                She then notices the death glares coming from the mayor, Amethyst, the guards, and all her friends.  “Ya know, I got Wonderbolts training to prepare for, I’ll catch you later.”  She streaks away as quickly as she appeared.

                The scowls redirect their attention towards Amethyst, who looks from one pony to the next in a combination of fear and shame.  “Well,” she utters, “maybe I did get a little carried away by those pranks.  I mean … ‘Seymour Flank’ … *heh heh* … that’s kinda funny, right?  … Please go easy on me.”

                Mayor Mare strolls over to Amethyst and pats her on the head with a forehoof.  “Mistakes happen, and I’m sure you’ll be forgiven by all in due time.  For now, though, I have a new job for you: clear the town of all the fallen telephone poles.  Oh, and let’s leave magic out of this task.”  She turns to the resident farm pony.  “Applejack, do you have a spare yoke lying around.”

                “Ah believe Ah do,” she replies with a grin.  “Come on Amethyst, let’s get you rigged up.”

                As AJ and Amethyst trudge away, the mayor next orders the guards to release Fluttershy from her chains.  “Go find Hard Hat and tell him we got a new project for his crew,” she instructs them.  They nod and trot away, as her focus shifts to the remaining two ponies.

                “I don’t want to know the details of what you two have been through, do I?”  Both Rarity and Fluttershy nod in agreement.  “Well I do apologize on behalf of Amethyst and everypony else involved in the events that transpired today.  We will do everything in our power to make everything right again; you have my assurance of that.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I must take inventory of the damages to town hall.”  With one final nod, Mayor Mare turns towards the town hall and strolls towards the exterior, surveying the destruction.

                Fluttershy turns to Rarity.  “Um … need a place to stay?”

                Before Rarity can answer, the calls of two ponies approaching from opposite sides draws their attention.

                “LYRA!”

                “BON BON!”

                The two run up and give each other a warm embrace in front of the observing Fluttershy and Rarity.

                “I’ve missed you so much,” Bon Bon states.  “It’s been too long!”

                “I know,” Lyra adds, “a whole week.”

                “It just gets so easy lazing around the house …”

                “… talking on the phone all day …”

                “… never getting out and enjoying the fresh air!”

                “Let’s agree never to stay separated like that again.”

                “Agreed,” the two state in unison.  They then walk away, chatting and giggling to each other.

                Fluttershy watches them for a minute, then turns back to Rarity.  “So … my place?”

                “Yes … that would be lovely,” she replies in resignation.  “But right now, I have an automatic sower to remove from my premises, followed by a ‘Closed for Renovations’ sign to make up.  And a trip to the spa.  A long trip to the spa.”