When told that lightning bolts are most likely lethal to a human, Rainbow Dash decides to conduct her own experiment to verify that claim.
For Rainbow Dash, seeing is believing. When her friend Twilight Sparkle told her that "electricity is harmful to humans with enough likelihood that you should definitely not zap Anon with lightning bolts", she didn't listen. After all from the two of them, it was Dash who saw more creatures zapped with lightning. Most of those occurrences were her doing as well. And so she decided to knock down two apples with one stone - teach her book loving friend a lesson about who the real weather expert is, and cure the local oddity that was Anonymous the Human from his irrational fear. Oh, and of course have a blast doing it.
Things don't exactly go according to her plan however, and she ends up creating a bigger mess than she could comprehend - not only for herself and her target, but also a certain somepony who will have to abandon her ancient traditions and improvise on the spot.
Formerly marked mature for uncouth language and the death theme. I now have an actual 'death' tag though, so I dropped it down.
Merithorical proofreading and non-constructive feedback: Anoridan and Void Whisperer Nitpicking and comma insertion: abronie
You are Anonymous, and you are tired of running. That blue cunt has a stamina of a... well, horse, and you never were a good athlete to begin with. Swimming was pretty much the only thing you were capable of doing in any reasonable manner, but it was of no use against something with wings. Those and a fucking stormcloud.
And so you stop. Enough is enough, and running was not getting you anywhere, so after catching your breath you turn around and cross your arms over your chest, standing your ground in the middle of the sandy pathway you were running along. Maybe if you change your approach, she will finally give up.
Unsurprisingly, Rainbow Dash pops around a tree not long after, pushing a lead-coloured cloud with her front hooves. The moment she spots you, a large, dumb smile creeps on her face. If you ever saw a "shit eating grin", that was it right there.
You shun the thought of sharing that description with her, along with your recommendation for her diet that came to your mind. Once Thundercunt Prime has drawn close enough, she speaks to you in her ever-annoying voice.
"What's wrong Nonny, did the little jog tire you?" She says, her grin continuing to expand like a Mongol horde.
Well, if pleads and reasoning could not get through her thick skull, maybe reverse psychology will. After all, you couldn't outrun her anymore, and you just ran into an open flatland. Huh, looks like the "Mongol Horde" fits better than you thought.
"No. The only thing that I'm tired of here, is your childish game." You lie through your teeth while sweating your ass off. - "I'm done. I am not going to run away from you just because you are too stupid to understand human language. Or pony language for that matter."
So far there was no sign that your change of approach had any effect.
"All I understand is that someone here is scared of lightning like a little foal, little Nonny." Dash responds with that infuriatingly smug tone of her.
"Right, because you were too busy with yourself to even listen to what Twilight was saying. Did you seriously not catch anything? Lethal electricity, cardiac arrest, anything?"
"Nnnope." She flatly responds, seemingly fucking proud of herself. "Look Anon, Twilight is probably the last person you should listen to when it comes to childish fears. Ok,that would actually be Fluttershy, but still second to last. She is just as scared of lightning as you are, and for no reason too. A little zap never killed anyone."
"And you are willing to bet that it stays that way against two people, or one person and a pony, who both know much more about what kills a human and what does not?" You ask, with fake disbelief in your voice. You'd find it hard to believe she would be that stupid, if you didn't know better by now.
"Eeeyup."
Just when exactly did that little shit turn into Big Mac?
"Alright." You say.
She looks at you with what seems like genuine surprise.
"Great. Fucking awesome. You know what? Do it."
Her surprise shifts into a look of a disappointment. Holy shit was it working?
"I don't even care anymore. I can't keep running forever, and you are making my life here a nightmare, so you might as well just end it." You say, boiling anger seeping through into your voice. That might have come out a bit edgier than you wanted, but it may just get the job done.
Or so you think before the smile comes back.
Well fuck.
"Thought you'd never ask."
The last thing you see are her hooves rising in the air above the cloud she was sitting on. Life was good, you think to yourself. For the most part at least.
And then in one instant, there was a white flash, deafening roar and a dull pain.
* * *
Softness. That's the first sensation that comes to your poor, sensory overloaded brain. Are you in a bed? It kinda feels like it.
But why? You remember running away from something, the dampening floor of sand making the experience more unpleasant than it already was. You also remember being tired, though from what you cannot recall. It wasn't just the running though, even though you've always hated it. Hell, you even managed to snake yourself out of gym class in high school for a year.
Good times. But rather irrelevant to your current predicament. So why were you running again?
...
Fluttershy?
Nah. It would explain the softness, as the yellow mare at least had the decency to take care of you whenever one of her many fetish attempts misfired. And that had already happened a couple times, but no, this is something else.
Twilight? She had a crazy episode once, and you were really scared for your life back then, but it didn't really happen again, so you're pretty sure it wasn't her this time around. So who?
And then you realize.
Thundercunt. The fucking rainbow flying horse. How can she even lift off the ground with a skull that thick? You'd understand her ignoring your reasoning, since you're an alien and whatnot. But Twilight? She actually usually knows what she's talking about, and is a fucking princess on top of that.
And still, Skittelsfaggot was indifferent. She just had to show you that lightning bolts are harmless. And it just so happened that zapping people with a fucking stormcloud was her hobby. You wonder if Equestria has any mental hospitals, but remembering Pinkie roaming free you quickly realize the answer.
So she chased you, and no amount of pleas, threats or persuasion would change her mind. Not even the last ditch effort of trying to make the chase unappealing by giving up seems to have worked. And now you were dead.
Wait what?
You snap your eyes open, half expecting for there to be no eyes left in your head. Yet not only did they not vanish into metaphysical oblivion, they were also working just fine.
You saw... whiteness.
Come on brain, you can do better than that. You can't describe everything you process with made-up adjectives.
“S-sorry.”
It's ok, don't sweat it. Just, try a little.
Allright, where were you?
Oh yes, whiteness. Err, I mean overwhelming amounts of white shapes filling your entire field of view.
...
Either way, you can't quite make out what you're seeing. Seems like your eyes are a bit unfocused. You try to raise your hand, and surprisingly enough, it responds.
You reach to your eyes and give them a solid rub. With a newly acquired sharpness, you try to understand what you're looking at. Clouds.
Oh this is bad. You hoped for bedsheets, mattresses, maybe wool. It could mean that you are safe in hospital, where the crazy blue psycho could not reach you. With the lightning anyway.
But clouds were bad. It would mean that she took you somewhere where others couldn't reach. And that place was probably extremely dangerous. The pegasi were alright walking on clouds, but anything else would fall right through them, including yourself.
...
Wait a second.
You try really hard to not make any sudden movements. You really do. Just like you did during your Biology classes. But just as back then the only thing you achieved was memorizing that mitochondria is the powerhouse of a cell, you have failed now too.
A sudden jerk of your muscles, caused by growing panic sent your arms flying downwards. That was the worst direction, as cutting through water vapour you were resting on is probably the last thing you wanted to do.
Except that it didn't happen. You were met with a physical resistance, akin more to a puffy pillow than a cloud. Not very stable or reassuring, but not exactly "oh shit I am falling to my death" material either.
You calm down a little, and stabilize your wobbling. Now that you knew what you're lying on, or at least how it reacts to you, you try to get up.
First you lift your body with your arms, then try to gain ground under your knees to support yourself on. It really seems like kneeling on clouds should be less straightforward than this. Feeling more confident you raise yourself up to a vertical position, and then get up on your feet. It still was a bit awkward to stand on something so... fuzzy. Awkward but serviceable, and better than plummeting to your imminent demise.
You look around to find yourself in some kind of ravine. It does not look like any place you know. Not Rainbow Dumb's house that you had the doubtful pleasure of visiting a couple times, once even not against your will. Not Cloudsdale either, as this place was much bigger, and much more... earth-like. It looked like an actual valley, just made out of clouds. Hell, it even had a stream of water casually flowing down the middle and disappearing somewhere behind the bend of cloud-rock.
What in the name of Celestia's Posterior is going on?
You notice some kind of construction not far from you and begin walking towards it. Or rather you attempt walking towards it, fail, and resort to silly looking wobbling towards it. Whatever works.
In the meanwhile you look around and try to pay some more attention to details. You spot some occasional trees here and there, made out of clouds with a slight brown and green taint. You couldn't quite see them in the first place, thanks to having your face against one wall of the ravine. Go figure. But that's really strange nevertheless. You didn't see anything even approaching the level of detail made out of clouds before, and Rainbow wasn't exactly one for fine arts either, so that's not her craftsmanship.
Wait, what did you just call her?
And Raincunt wasn't exactly one for fine arts either.
Much better, you have some standards to maintain.
Not after long you reach the building. It looks like an ancient Greek temple, only somewhat small, even for ponies. You make a move to walk inside, curious to find out more about the place, only to be assaulted by a feminine voice from behind.
"Do you make habit out of parading into other's households without an actual invitation?"
This day is a gift that just keeps on giving, isn't it? You stop mid-step, and nearly fall over due to unstable ground you are standing on. You barely manage to regain your balance, but it wasn't without the cost of some frantic arm waving, and in effect, your dignity.
"While I have to admit that I am used to ponies reacting to me in this manner, it usually takes them seeing me first for that to happen."
You take a deep breath and slowly turn around. You didn't know what to expect when you saw the ravine, and the building made it even weirder. But that introduction was a cherry on a cake. Bluntly put, you were scared, and it was not the first time that has happened today.
You finally finish your revolution and lay your eyes on… Well, to say "on something you didn't expect" wouldn’t be wrong, but seeing as everything here is not quite what you would expect, does that still hold true? Regardless, you see a pony. That's a good start. No tentacles, no fangs, no dragons.
The suspected homeowner was an alicorn-sized, white-coated unicorn, with an onyx mane and a deep, penetrating gaze of eyes more black than the national French football team. She was wearing an equally black cloak covering her tail and flanks, almost reaching the ground and with a spacious hood cast resting on her back. You can also see some kind of chestpiece made out of strange, obsidian-like material with matte finish on it. In the center of the unusual accessory lies an ominous gemstone, with a very dim, purple shade to it. It somewhat feels like it is absorbing all light from its surroundings.
You find yourself strangely drawn to the weird jewel, and start feeling a sensation of warmth slowly encompassing you. You suddenly feel very sleepy, like all the running from earlier today has just gotten to your muscles. Would it hurt to just lay down right here and take a short nap? The clouds were so soft and comfy after all, the host will surely not mind.
You are suddenly yanked back into the world of living, or whatever world it actually is, by the strange pony covering her chestpiece with loose end of her cloak.
"Easy there little one, you don't want to stare into that quite yet."
You shake your head in an attempt to cast away the remnants of the lingering sleepiness, and look back at the unicorn.
"Well then, one would normally have to ask for an introduction, but I'm afraid we both know each other by now."
The strange mare was talking in a soft, calming voice, somehow reminiscent of a warm jug of milk with honey. An experience similar to what you felt when staring in the gemstone. You look into her eyes and reply, trying to sound as polite as you can.
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you are mistaken. I do not remember meeting you before."
"Why of course you haven't met me, that would be somewhat unusual.” The strange pony says. “But you surely must have a suspicion of who I am, no?"
You look to the side and think. The choice of clothing and colour palette reminds you of some of the more extreme metal bands back in your world. But there is no way that could be the case, seeing how tame all the music in Equestria was compared to something like Black Metal. A zebra was out of a question too, because of both size and horn. Come on Anon, what is white, wears black clothing, and can be seen after being struck by a cunt-inducted lightning?
Oh. Right.
"You're Death?" You half ask, half state.
"None other, little pony."
Your host bows like a magician after finishing his performance, and to your surprise you notice a pair of ivory wings resting on her side. Although come to think of it, why shouldn't Death be an alicorn?
Hang on a second.
"But does that mean that I have died?"
An ominous feeling clouds your brain as you see the pale mare nodding in confirmation.
"But... I don't want to be dead." You say, only slightly aware that you sound like a child not wanting to go to bed yet.
To your surprise, you hear a soft chuckle.
"Well I didn't say that you're dead. I merely said that you have died. There's some nuance to it, you see."
What.
"What...?"
Another giggle.
"You see, while it is true that your material form was struck down, which in turn means that you have died, you're not exactly dead yet."
"How comes? What is the difference?" You ask, more confused than ever before.
"Oh, the difference is quite simple. Dying means departing from your corporal form. While being dead means…" She answers before looking up and around the walls of ravine. "Passing on beyond this place"
You try to follow her gaze to see if she means something in particular, but to no avail.
"So I'm not dead, but I will soon be, once I... move on?"
Death sighs.
"That's how it usually goes. But you, my little pony, are a special kind of snowflake, are you not?"
You look back at the alicorn, just to find her eyes staring into you with curiosity.
"Well, I'm not exactly a pony you see."
"Oh but I know. It's just a figure of speech, one I got used to over my lifetime. But the fact that you are something else is the main source of our... predicament."
"Oh? How so?" You ask raising your eyebrow.
The alicorn breaks her glare and looks over her realm once again before saying "I am the gatekeeper of those ponies who have left the mortal realm you know as Equestria. Earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns or alicorns, it matters not to me." She then turns her head back towards you, and you can see a glimmer of sadness in her black eyes. "When they die, they come here. I then greet them, and guide them along to the next step in their journey. That is when they become dead."
You overcome dryness in your throat and ask "And what is the next step?"
The pale mare smiles warmly, and the sadness is replaced by a warmth as pleasant as her voice. "I cannot tell you that, young one. As you have probably guessed by now, you will not be moving on today."
You did not guess that, but it was sure nice to know.
"But why?"
"As I have said, I watch over ponies passing through here. And as you have said, you are not a pony." She then points her hoof towards your chest, sending a weird electric sensation through you. "You are a wanderer. A planewalker. An outsider if you will. You were not born in Equestria, and as such you cannot just simply die there. It is not within my grasp to let you go through this ravine. That is the privilege of my counterpart from your world, who in turn cannot recall you back from this realm." Her expression suddenly became very serious. "And because of that, I will have to send you back."
"Back to Equestria?" You ask with disbelief.
"Yes, as I cannot transport you to your old world, I see it as the only solution."
Holy shit.
"However..."
You were about to be resurrected.
"...this does not mean..."
You glitched the system and became immortal.
"...that you're immortal."
Oh.
"Oh." You blankly state, not hiding your disappointment as well as you probably should.
The mare shakes her head with a disappointed look. "Of course that was the first thought that came to your mind, was it not?"
You suddenly feel bad, both because you were so predictable, and because you have apparently disappointed her.
"I'm sorry, I-uh, didn't know..."
"And I didn't know either. This is not exactly a common occurrence, and I am somewhat playing it by ear, so to speak."
She then turns around and starts walking towards a stream flowing through the ravine you were both in. You decided to follow her.
"I want you to understand the situation at hoof, so that you do not end up making any foolish decisions."
You nod automatically, even though she cannot see you.
"I cannot send you beyond this place, which means that you cannot be truly dead."
As you reach the sparkling water she stops, and lies on the clouds next to it. You sit down next to her.
"But it doesn't mean that you can't die."
That time your nodding does not go unnoticed. "Right, I am here after all."
"Exactly."
Death gives you a warm, reassuring smile. It somehow made you feel very serene.
"So you dying will not be without consequences. Every time your mortal shell falters, you will end up here." She says, turning her eyes towards the stream and looking at her reflection. "And as it happens I know all about the moments leading to one's death."
She sighs.
"All, without fail."
The alicorn goes quiet for a while, and that sadness from earlier crept on her face once more. Unsure how to react you decided to wait at first, but seeing how the mare didn't continue her explanation you clear your throat and ask "So how exactly will it work? Will I just go back to the moment before my... demise?"
She breaks the stare and looks at you, but to your surprise you notice a hint of an embarrassment in her expression.
"Oh. Forgive me for being... lost in the thought. I do not get to talk about things not related to my duties too often."
You give her something of an encouraging smile and say "It's okay, I do not mind."
"Glad to hear that. Now to answer your question - no. While the time flows somewhat oddly here, it is not my part to alter it." She answers, looking to the sky above you. "Time traveling was never my domain, and as such you will be returned to the point of your departure, more or less."
You look into the stream and let your eyes lose their focus in the glimmering water as you think.
"So I will just wake up in my body right after it's been struck by a lightning?" You ask after a while.
"I have intended to do so, yes. Why, is that a problem?" The mare responds with a surprise in her voice.
You absentmindedly rub your nose.
"I'm not sure how my body reacted to being electrocuted this hard. I mean, other than instantly dying."
Death giggles after hearing that.
"Why of course, your body has been rendered broken. That's the condition under which one departs from the mortal plane. But as a keeper of mortality I am in power to revert any such damage."
You notice that your jaw has dropped slightly.
"Not that I got to do that too often of course. But what little damage has been done to you will not present much of a challenge."
"So my... essence is independent from conditions of the body after it has died?" You ask, not sure if you're understanding this correctly.
"One could say so, yes."
An idea crosses your mind, but before you are able to set it motion, the alicorn addresses you. "However, I did not finish my thought from earlier. I can tell how somepony, or someone else has died. This means that should you choose to throw your life away..." She breaks to give you the soul piercing stare. "... I will know."
You feel a sudden dryness in your mouth.
"And I would rather you didn't act all immortal. You are, after all, a sole exception to the natural order so far. Thus, if it so happens that you rub it in ponies' faces, I will take action."
She gives you a smile, but it's a different kind of smile. It somehow manages to send chills down your spine.
"Oh, and do not think that I am powerless here. I cannot send you forward, but I don't exactly have to send you backwards."
The mare inches closer to you, and you can feel her smell. To your surprise, you find it to be a soft almond scent.
"It does get rather lonely here after a while, and I wouldn't mind some company."
Her tone seems alluring, like that of a siren beckoning a sailor to jump overboard to his demise. She then laughs gently, but somehow, this time it does not fill you with warmth. Just fear.
"R-right, I understand. It's best that I act as if it never happened."
"Glad we're on the same page."
And although her smile didn't change, you suddenly felt the warmth emitting from it again. It encouraged you to ask "However, what if someone notices? The lightning is something I can play off, but eventually they might realise."
She sighs.
"I'm aware of it. And I will not be punishing your for something that is not your fault. In fact, I am convinced that somepony like Celestia will catch on to this at some point." She interrupts herself with a scoff. "I guess you'll just have to play it by ear too."
You nod with acknowledgement.
"I suppose I should not worry about what happens when I become old, too?"
"Yes little one, some things are best left to be solved by time."
"I see." You reply thoughtfully before breaking away from looking into her eyes and going back to distracting yourself with the glimmering stream. "Although I am not sure if I'll be able to act as if all of this has never happened."
"But I do not ask you to. I understand that this experience, as any other, will change the way you are forever."
She puts one of her albatross hooves in the water and lets the flow gently push it downstream.
"All I ask for is some thoughtful judgement and reason."
You smile.
"I think I can promise that much."
Death smiles too.
"Then you can consider me content."
Your expression changes back into neutral as you recall your earlier idea.
"I have a question."
"Go ahead."
You look back at the mare.
"Could you send me back to Equestria... without putting me back into my body yet?"
She looks surprised.
"Well, technically I could. As you've probably noticed, your current form is rather independent from your mortal shell." She says and cocks her head. "But I'm not going to do that without a good reason."
Right, this was your moment to explain yourself. Don't mess it up.
"Uhm, you do know how I died, right?"
She straightens her neck and stares in the distance. You notice a slight white sparkling in her irises and around her horn as she begins to talk. "Struck down by a lightning that was not meant to be, all because a rainbow pony did not listen to reason and chose mischief over empathy."
She looks back at you, sparkles from before gone.
"That even rhymed. It doesn't always do that, in case you're wondering." She joyfully says. "Although the syllabic balance was rather off. I guess I'm a better keeper of mortality than poet."
You chuckle.
"I'm probably the last person to be the judge of that. But since you know what killed me, you probably can agree that it was rather... uncalled for."
Her smile became somewhat creepy as she says "And how can you tell which death was really called for? I've been doing my job far longer than you, and I still do not have a system for it."
“Well, I guess I can't.” You answer, somewhat taken aback. “But the issue is, what happens if I come back just like that?"
"How could I tell? I am just the keeper of mortality, not an oracle."
Her smile was back to the usual warm self.
"I know, but we can speculate what will happen."
"True."
"And that would be Raincun... err I mean Rainbow Dash seeing me get up after being struck by lightning."
"You need not correct yourself like that little one, I know the attitude you have towards that pegasus, and I find it somewhat justified given the predicament you were facing." Death states while raising her dry hoof reassuringly.
Oh? Could she be reading in your mind?
"And no, I do not read in your mind. At least not all the time. In the moments before one's death, all is revealed to me. All emotions, all thoughts, all impulses."
She pulls her other hoof out of the water and points it at you, spraying a bit of cool water on your torso.
"And that is how I know, but beyond those moments I am as clueless as a foal as to what's really in your head."
"Alright." You say still a bit unsure what to think, and how loud to do so. "So she will just assume that she was right all along, and that being struck by lightning is harmless to me."
"And you would rather she doesn't feel like she was correct."
You open your mouth to voice your objection, but realise that the alicorn was right.
"Well... that's true, but my point is something else." You say defensively.
"Go on."
"If this happens, she will for sure hunt me and randomly zap me with however many volts those things pack."
Death makes an equivalent of a raised eyebrow as you say that.
"Volts?"
"Um, it's a unit in which we measure electricity in my world. Well, electrical potential rather, but it's not really important right now. What I'm trying to say is that Rainbow will just keep on exposing me to lethal doses of electricity."
To your surprise the pale mare giggles.
"Yes, I could see how that would be somewhat inconvenient."
"Inconvenient?" You ask, slightly taken aback by her attitude towards you being fried to crisp over and over again. "Riiiight, you could put it that way."
She notices your reaction and puts her hoof on your shoulder. It feels surprisingly soft and warm, even through your shirt.
"Oh do not take it personally. Joking about death really shouldn't be that big of a deal. Especially in presence of Death herself."
She winks at you, and puts her hoof back in its resting position.
"I guess I can work with that. But the problem of me coming back here many times still remains."
"And has my company tired you so much already that you would detest it?"
She surprises you once more with her line of thought, and you stumble over your words a bit.
"What? No, that's not what I... well I suppose, but... I mean not really."
She grins at you, apparently enjoying how confused you are.
"What I'm trying to say is that while I enjoy your company, you said it yourself that I'm not supposed to be dying in stupid way."
"Yes, that is a fair point. While I can fix all the physical damage she might cause, it would be best to reduce the number of trips you make to my realm, as I said." The alicorn says before cocking her head again. "Regardless of how I may feel about it."
Wait what?
"Uhh, yeah. And that's why I came up with my plan."
She nods at you, encouraging you to continue.
"I want to go back as a ghost of sorts, to observe what she does and wait for the right moment to go back to my body."
She half-lids her eyes and straightens her neck once more.
"Quite peculiar. And what do you hope to achieve?"
"I want her to realise that she was wrong, and that zapping me with lightning is not a good idea. I will then come back and somehow make it work so that everyone does not learn about my death. Also, she could use a general lesson in listening to others."
Death's eyes open back up again and smile along with her muzzle.
"Somehow making it work does not sound like a very refined plan..." She says, causing you swallow nervously. "...but I like it anyway."
You sigh with relief.
"I have no idea how it is going to pan out exactly, but to Tartarus with it, I can be a little impulsive every couple of millennia."
She raises herself, making sure to cover the gemstone on her chest, this time with a wing.
"Are you ready to go, little one?"
You look at her with surprise.
"What, right now?"
"And why not? It is not a frequent thing for me to act on a whim, so your lack of enthusiasm is less than unwelcome."
You quickly raise to your feet at her scolding tone.
"Uh, alright. But I'm still unsure of all the details."
"Oh don't worry about that. You will figure it out. All you need to know is that you will be an invisible spirit, and you can return to your body at any point, although that decision is final."
Her white horn begins to glow, and a few faint sparkles fly towards you.
"But how do I..."
"Oh shush, it really is not complicated. You will feel the what the answer is."
She does her warm smile again, the one that reminds of warm milk sweetened by honey. Although this time you somehow are able to feel almonds in that milk too. Nevertheless, you feel encouraged by it.
"Well, in that case I guess I'm ready."
"Splendid. Fare well little one, and good luck."
The flow of sparkles increases rapidly, and for no reason in particular, you decide to introduce yourself at the end of your meeting.
"My name is Anonymous by the way. And thank you for... everything."
Death seems a little surprised by that, and closes her eyes. The magical conduit between you fades a little bit.
"My name... Good heavens, it's been a while since I used it."
As she opens her eyes you notice a new glint in them.
"My name is Ivory Feather, little one. Oh, sorry, Anonymous. It was a pleasure to meet you."
He would have moved by now if he was trying to trick you. And those weird scars you can see on his legs and face, those definitely were not there before. They kind of look like a tree.
…
Or a lightning bolt.
"No, no, no, no." You say, shaking your head trying to get rid of the dark thoughts creeping in on you and throwing your rainbow mane around. "Anon, you got me. I'm creeped out for real this time. You can move now, I lost." You walk up closer to him, and raise his hand with your hoof. "So stop being a jerk and just say something, alright?"
You drop his limb. It falls like a sack of potatoes. There was no saving reflex, no reaction. Nothing. Like he was…
NO! He isn't. He is just playing with you Rainbow, he's being an ass.
…
Right?
You look at his mouth. It's split open just a little bit, like he was having an afternoon snooze. Of course, that had to be it.
"You just decided to take a nap then, right?" You give a nervous laugh and a worried smile. "It's okay, I don't mind that much. Just..." You carefully lift his eyelid. His eye doesn't move around and his iris doesn’t shift its shape. "... just..." You lean in closer to his face, trying to listen in. Trying to hear air coming in and out of his mouth, his nose, but to no avail. "... just..." You suddenly notice that your vision is getting somewhat foggy, but it's not the most important thing right now. You move you head back, and put your wing in its place, trying to catch the small gusts of air from his nostrils with your sensitive feathers.
But there was none to be found.
"... just don't be dead, alright?"
He didn't respond. But he will respond. Not right now, but when he wakes up. Maybe in an hour, maybe tomorrow.
Yes, he is just tired from all the running. That's why he ran out of breath, right...?
But your denial grows weaker and weaker. Some part of you already knows what you have done. And try as you might to stop it, it looms over your mind. You still don't want to accept it, and still resist.
But not for long. You feel an overpowering cold resonating from your chest, like the blood in your veins was replaced with liquid ice. Your resolve slowly gives in, and the last glimmers of your own arguments fade.
And then you give in.
Just like that.
You realise that you have hurt Anon. Hurt him like no other pony before. You don’t even understand how exactly, but he is knocked out cold. You will be lucky if those scars are the only thing he will end up carrying away from it when he wakes up. And if you’re not lucky, then he will never wake up. Not in an hour, not tomorrow. Not ever.
Because he has died. He is dead. And it was you who killed him.
"A-anon?" You ask, even though you're not sure why.
He can't talk you moron, you made sure of it.
You notice that you're running out of breath. A myriad thoughts start running through your head, not one of them positive or happy. The horrifying chill has reached your hooftips by now, and you feel like your heart is struggling to pump the cold blood in you. Your racing thoughts slowly become clouded, like the sky you were preparing for a stormy day.
Suddenly you realise that your vision is shrinking as well. Acting on the deepest levels of learned reflexes, you perform a specific kind of controlled breathing, the one pegasi use when in a tight turn of a fast flight.
A familiar feeling of oxygen reaching your brain in full capacity calms you a bit, and allows you to think again.
Sweet Celestia, did you need to think right now.
The cold seems to have receded somewhat. Good, it was rather distracting, and you need to focus.
"Dammit, Rainbow, think."
Did you just say that out loud?
Whatever, nopony is around. And if they were, talking to yourself is not the biggest of worries for you anyway.
So, thinking. Anon is seriously either seriously hurt, passed out or dead. The latter of which would mean that you have killed him. The only human to arrive in Equestria in all its history, and you just… Like it was nothing.
You force yourself to look at his face again. He looks so peaceful, like he was actually sleeping. Save for the scars that is.
For some reason you feel like it would be less awkward to talk to him.
"You know I didn't mean to do it, right?"
"Or did you?" The rogue area in your mind that tried to break through your denial before responds.
"I never meant to harm you, it was just supposed to be a prank."
"But you did harm him. Far worse, you MURDERED him." The penultimate word said by your conscience with such force that it was left resonating in your skull.
"No no, you don’t know that. And I... I-uh, how could I know a small zap with lightning would be this bad for him?" You say with an increasingly cracking voice.
"Because he told you. Because Twilight told you. And you were too DUMB to listen," the voice in your head shouts, slowly starting to sound like Twilight Sparkle. .
"Twilight is afraid of lightning like a filly, I thought that she just found someone else with the same fear in Anon. I was sure she was justifying herself."
"And you were so self assured that you bet his life on it. How pathetic."
"I was not betting on anything, I worked with lightning clouds for so long now that..."
"That you disregarded pleads for mercy and instead became a MURDERER?" Your inner self yells, echoing another word. It hit a perfect resonating frequency with the first one too, resulting in a physically painful crescendo going in your cranium.
"MURDER... DUMB... MURDER... DUMB... MURDER..."
Until you snap.
"I. AM. NOT. A. MURDERER."
...
Silence...
The realization of what has just transpired dawns on you. You just argued with voices in your head, by shouting at a passed out friend who you so happen to have knocked out yourself a couple minutes ago.
You give a short, nervous laugh. You're insane. You're going crazy. But hey, that might be a good thing actually. Instead of being thrown into a dungeon, you will be locked up in an asylum. Yes, the food is probably better. Heh.
Wait...
Suddenly you realize what you just said, internally this time. You're going to be locked away for what you did. That's what they do to… Ponies who caused harm to others.
You feel the relapse of panic setting in.
"I c-can't go to the d-dungeon." You explain to Anon. He seems rather indifferent to that. "I will never be able to become an actual Wonderbolt with a criminal record."
Oh. So THAT'S your concern, huh?
"Plus Celestia is going to kill me for hurting the only human."
That does sound rather problematic, too.
"And Twilight will kill me for being such an idiot."
Probably, yeah.
"And Rarity..."
Oh filly, Rarity.
"She will kill me even more than Celestia and Twilight. Shit, I told her to wait myself." You once again tell Anon, who seems to not realize the direness of fashionista’s impending berserk rage. "And now she might never tell you that she had a crush on you."
And finally he answered you, even though you could clearly see his lips not moving. At least that's the only reasonable explanation, because you've heard quite clearly Anon shout
"WHAT?"
You recoil in shock from the totally-not-dead body. A body that should nevertheless be unconscious.
"A-anon?" You ask timidly.
...
Nothing. Was that in your head too? It sounded so real.
You muster the courage to slowly sneak closer to him. His chest is still resting flat. Eyelids still closed, just like you left them. He looks just like a dead body would look. That is not a sentence you hoped to come up with today, especially since he is NOT dead. Just gravely injured.
So did that mean you were hearing voices now too? Your previous argument was with yourself, even if that other "you" had Twilight's voice. This one felt different though, like it came from outside. And to be honest, not even from the body, but…
You turn your head to the right, and look at a roadside bush.
...from over there.
Sudden rustling of the leaves you were looking at almost sent you flying, but you overcome your initial instinct to run, and instead shout "Hey, who is over there?" Once again, the only answer was the sound of silence. You decide to walk over there, despite your trembling hooves.
* * *
Crap.
She definitely heard you. Shouting like that was probably a bad idea, but come on. Rarity? Crush on you? What the hell, she was always playing this I'm-far-more-exquisite-than-you-so-don't-even-look queen of the world kinda mare, not giving you any attention.
...
Except when she was so eager to work on your clothes when you first got here.
And prepare furniture for your house.
And when she asked you for a help with some kind of exhibition of her works not long ago.
Holy shit, the pieces are starting to fall together. When you recall her behavior every time she was not behind that iron curtain of a facade, she acted… strange. You've always played it off as a xenophobia, being an alien and all that. But what Dash has just said shines a new light on the marshmallow mare’s behaviour.
Implying she was telling the truth, and not going even crazier that is. The image of her shouting at your body comes back before your eyes, and you involuntarily shudder, upsetting leaves on a brush you were standing next to, causing them to give a soft flutter.
To your terror you notice that Dash is looking straight at you. Well, was looking, before she almost jumped out of her hooves. Fuck, she heard that one too? Just what kind of ghost are you?
"Hey, who is over there?"
You freeze. She did not run, as you thought she would. Instead, she started slowly walking towards you. You do your best to not make any sound as you inch behind the bush somewhat. You were supposed to be invisible, but clearly there were some things you were not told about here, seeing how you alerted a mortal twice already.
You hear uneasy hoofsteps come closer to your hiding spot. Through the semi-transparent shrubbery you can see a multicolored mass slowly creep towards you. You try to breathe as quietly as possible, not knowing anymore what exactly you can do without being spotted. It seemed like she didn't notice you when you walked behind a bush. Or when you actually materialized back in this world, even though that sounded like a pretty loud crackle to you.
Wait, materialized? Does a ghost materialize? You know, being all immaterial?
Huh, that's not exactly a question you've had to consider before. But then again, the same can be said about a great many things that happened to you today. Such as ‘why is the gateway to pony afterlife a ravine made out of clouds?’ Hell, even ‘is the gateway to pony afterlife a ravine made out of clouds?’ If someone asked you that yesterday, you'd probably look rather confused, not knowing why would that be one's mental image.
A rainbow mane poking around the green plant cuts your philosophical debate short. You try to persuade your heart to not beat so loudly, but it seems deaf to your reasoning. As the pegasus pokes her head around the corner, she scans the area nervously.
"H-hello?" You can hear her voice crack at the end.
She seems to be taking this whole situation rather poorly. Still though, probably beats being dead, huh?
...
Only that you were not dead, remember? And as far as having died goes, it wasn't that bad. You've had way worse when you were alive. Before you can realize what you're doing, you snort in a weak replacement for a laugh. Not weak enough however, because right now Rainbow Dash was looking straight at you.
You hold your breath. Both literally and metaphorically.
Her magenta eyes are staring right at yours, but she doesn't say anything, nor does she otherwise react to you. In fact, her eyes were not looking at you.
They were looking right through you, like you were truly invisible.
She squints. "This is not funny, okay? Whoever you are, stop hiding and s-show yourself, a-alright?" She sounds more like Fluttershy than herself right now. Save for the voice of an alcoholic, that's still there.
You try breathing really slowly. As luck might have it, the blue pegasus chose this moment to move closer to you. You have no idea if that was random, or as a result of air escaping your lungs.
Hang on a second. You have no lungs. They lie discarded and broken on the road a few meters away from you. Why are you even breathing?
You try to not breathe in this time, watching as Rainbow sheepishly half-crawls towards you. Everything inside you screams that you need air after a moment, but you don't feel dizzy, nor do you feel physical pain. You're just very uncomfortable with this. Some primal shard in your ethereal brain tries to force its way in and make your lungs expand once more. But you manage to quench that inner rebellion, and keep yourself deflated.
Dash was really close now. A step or two, and she will end up colliding with you. You're not sure how that would end, but seeing how you managed to move the leaves on the bush, you seem to have some kind of physical influence. Although you'd really rather not right now.
She makes a step. On her face you can see both fear, and confusion. But also anguish? A rather miserable combination altogether either way.
Another hoof rises into the air. Shit, she will touch you. With all your willpower you try to focus on disappearing. Just wish that you’re not there, believe that her azure limb will pass right through you.
And so it does. The hoof reaches your leg and phases right through it, completely undisturbed by the contact with you. It does not seem to slow down, or turn in any capacity. It just keeps going, like there was nothing there.
Because there is nothing there, remember? You try to stay focused on that fact. Although you are still very new to this whole ghost business, you'd rather not find out if suddenly becoming material again with something inside you is problematic.
Don't think about it. It will not happen. You are just air. No, less than that. A cosmic void, empty of any matter or resistance.
Rainbow lands her leg on the ground and presses her body forward another bit. She has her eyes nervously jumping from the bush itself to the spot right behind it. If anything was hiding here, she would've seen it by now. But given the circumstances, she probably does not think 100% rationally right now.
Not that she ever does. If she did, you would not be here after all, now would you? She takes another step, by now seeing the entirety of the area behind your faithful shrub. Your legs are sunk into her chest. Or her chest is sunk into your legs, you couldn't really tell. It's probably one of those "is the train moving, or is the train station moving" kind of questions, but taken to the extreme.
The pegasus does another quick sweep of the area, and backs away slowly. She does not seem more confident than before, not having found the source of weird noises. After backtracking from behind the bush, she turns around and walks back to the pathway.
You breathe in. It feels nice, if a bit unnecessary. You allow your thoughts to wander about once again, not having to focus so hard anymore, and try to take in what just happened.
You had a living, material creature walk right into, no, through you and not even notice it. You were truly a ghost now. This day was shaping to be more and more odd. Especially since it was the day that you came to be inside Rainbow Dash.
You try your best to not snicker at that thought, barely managing it. Having made sure that you won't start giggling like a schoolgirl, you peek around the bush again.
Then you realise that you are invisible, and just walk out in the open. Dash has reached your body and lied down in the dust besides you. Or what used to be you.
...
This really can get complicated, can it not?
Either way, the pegasus seems to have given in to the anguish completely. You kinda feel sad for her now. It does not make you forgive the murder, but just adds into the cauldron of emotions and experiences of this day. You did come here with a goal in mind, and you haven't reached it quite yet. But seeing how Dash is taking it, this might not take long at all.
To be honest you almost expected her to hide the body and forget about the whole thing. But she was really hit hard. Maybe a bit too hard, remembering the "yell at the corpse" episode. With that in mind, she seems awfully quiet right now. Her eyes just staring at your head, and her rainbow mane concealing all her thoughts from you, now that she wasn't screaming them out loud that is. You wish you could get inside her head right now. Well, you can. Literally. Okay, let's rephrase - you wish you could know what she is thinking right now.
* * *
This is not good. None of this is anywhere near good. Anon is unconscious, and most likely hurt. You also managed to piss off two alicorns and Rarity.
And if that wasn't enough, you were going insane. First arguing with yourself, including screaming at nothing. Then hearing voices. Then this weird, cold numbness traveling from your hoof down into your chest.
You sigh. The panic seems to be gone by now, and your thoughts regained clarity. All that's left by now is regret. You wish you didn't ignore Twilight. You wish you listened to Anon. None of this would've happened then.
But it did. And now you had to fix it somehow.
You raise your head from the dusty road. Wonderbolt training covered first aid on injured and passed out teammates. But you didn’t listen. Plus nothing, not even weather control, ever prepared you to handle accidents caused by lightning bolts. Because they were harmless.
Some specks of information begin appearing in your mind however. Something about removing an unconscious flyer from the sun, and putting them on their side. Then calling for help.
Calling for help! You raise to your hooves in an instant. Of course. You should just go get Twilight or Fluttershy, they would for sure…
They would for sure ask a lot of questions. How did he got hurt, how did you find him, why were you there. And worst of all, Anon would tell them the truth when he woke up. The truth about you chasing him and hurting him.
But you probably can’t avoid that. You did hurt him, and unless he loses his memories, he will know it. Then again, it probably was best to deal with Anon yourself, sorting it out between you. Maybe if you can fix it by taking care of him, he will be less mad at you. Plus it was just the right thing to do after what you did.
You look around. Roughly in the direction your house was, you could see a majestic oak. The canopy was thick and opaque, giving a lot of shade underneath it. And as an added bonus, it was rather out of the way, so chances of other ponies finding him by accident were slim. And they could get a wrong idea. It was almost like a murderer hiding a corpse.
You shun that thought and walk around Anon. Positioning yourself above his head and putting your forehooves below his shoulders, you get ready to carry him. He could stay safe under the tree till the evening, and then you could safely transport him to your home with fewer eyes to see you.
With all your strength, you take to the air. Sweet Celestia was he heavy. You resort to dragging his legs along the ground, while struggling about a meter above it. It was quite a workout, which caused you to not notice the sudden scent of almonds that hit your nostrils.
* * *
You are Anonymous. But you are also rather confused what that means exactly at the moment. You are still the spirit of yourself, as far as you understand - a soul unchained from the body, at least temporarily. And as far the body in question goes, well…
It's currently being dragged along the grassy land of Equestria by the freshly-baked pegasus murderer, Rainbow Dash. Also known as Thundercunt Prime, or whatever other nickname you came up with today. As to where she was taking you...
Uh, what formerly was you, or at least part of you. As to where she was taking your body, you were not sure. Frankly, you were rather curious how she would handle this. Going batshit insane and screaming at the corpse was at least promising an interesting show. At first anyway, since she seems to have calmed down a bit after that episode. And apparently she now had a plan in mind.
Either that, or she was just improvising. Yeah, probably the latter. She never was one for elaborate preparations, to put it gently.
You decide that it would be a good idea to follow her, since by now she was far enough away to not hear your footsteps. As you pass over the path she caught you on, you notice a dark spot on the ground. That must be where the lightning struck. And from it there was a clearly visible imprint of something being dragged to the side.
You sigh. She didn't have a plan. At this rate she will get caught before you're even done with her, and before she gets to learn anything. It would also make your resurrection quite a public story. So you decide to cover up the most obvious drag trails, replacing them with your footsteps turning to the other side. Now it looks like you just decided to go off-road for whatever reason.
Right, now to catch up to mare of the hour. You try focusing again on being immaterial, and find it easier this time, or so you think. It allows you to cross the sandy surface with no marks though, so it must have worked.
After triple checking that there is no trace, you are about to turn around towards Rainbow only to feel a hoof on your shoulder.
You freeze. A bunch of questions run through your head very quickly. Why is there a hoof on your shoulder? Whose hoof is it? If it is Rainbow’s, why is she back? And how the hell can she see you, let alone touch you? Hell, how could anything touch you? You were a ghost, there shouldn't be a pony able to interact with ghosts. Was it another undead soul? You didn't exactly consider that before, but if you were concealed from mortals' eyes, why wouldn't other creatures have the same trait? And maybe now all those spirits will become revealed to you, complicating matters even further? Would they be friendly? Would they even communicate with you? What would they look like? Were they as scary as some of the monsters you've seen back in your old world? You believe those were called "teenagers".
And even though it felt like a good couple seconds to you, it only took you a blink of an eye to ask all of that. In that timeframe, the mysterious owner of the hoof did not bother to make anything clearer to you, forcing you to act. You turn around, trying not to do it too jumpy.
And you fail. You feel a dull pain in your neck as you remind yourself that you're not an owl. But with the help of the rest of your body (at least the immaterial part) you manage to look behind you. And fall over onto the pathway that was now behind you, because you saw what you didn't exactly expect to see.
"What's the matter Anonymous, you look like you've just seen death," said Death.
"What's the matter Anonymous, you look like you've just seen death," said Death.
"I-ivory?" You manage to stutter out.
"Herself." She says with a playful smile. "Your reaction was rather quite overdone if you ask me, but don't worry. I get it all the time." She rolls her eyes with the last sentence.
"Huh, figured." Man aren't you a beast of an orator right now. The Roman Senate would be so jealous.
"Although I must say, if I expected anyone to not be scared of me by now, it would be you." She offers her forehoof to help you get up, and you accept without much thought.
"Sorry about that, it's that just... I thought you sent me back to Equestria."
"Oh?" She looks around with a mix of surprise and amusement in her eyes. "And did I not? This looks like Equestria to me."
"Well sure, but if it was the... mortal plane, then why would I meet you?"
The mare looks you in the eyes and grins. "I did say that we will be meeting soon."
You recall her parting words back in the cloud realm. "Yes, but I mean, why are you here?"
Her happy expression erodes away somewhat after hearing that. You are as smooth as diplomatic corps of Germany in 1914 it seems.
"I mean, how can you be here? I thought you were confined to your own world."
To your relief the pair of onyx eyes staring at you have reclaimed their joyful glister. "And what gave you that impression? If I could send you back, why shouldn't I be able to send myself?"
You recoil your head back a bit. "That is actually a good point. So you can visit Equestria any time you wish?"
She nods. "Even if I haven't been doing so too often. You see, you were not entirely wrong with your hypothesis regarding my confinement."
"How so?"
Ivory looks at you with a smile that you can only describe as ‘cheeky’. “Before I answer that, perhaps it would be best if we gave chase to our mare of the hour, would it not?”
You need a good couple seconds to realise that she is not talking about herself, but the blue pegasus. The same pegasus that is now a good distance away from you.
“Right, I wouldn’t want to lose myself after all,” you agree and start walking towards Dash, only to be joined by a much more casual pace of the alicorn besides you. Long legs and such. “So, about your confinement?”
The mare nods before looking up into the sky. "I am not meant to interact with mortal plane. It's an element of an ancient balance that I did not come up with. But..." You notice a mischievous smile forming with her lips. "They couldn't straight up trap me, so a workaround was found."
"That being?" You ask with genuine interest.
The alicorn looks back down on you. "A simple limitation. I am unable to interact in any way with living things. Be it talking to them, touching them, or even being seen or heard by them."
You nod with a thoughtful expression on your face. "I see. So as soon as someone dies you can talk to them and guide them... along?"
"Exactly. A solution that both allows me to perform my duties, and prevents me from doing much else." You notice a sad note in the second half of her sentence
"That seems like a rather inconsiderate way to do things, " you say before cringing at the sight of your head (or what used to be your head) bouncing up a good twenty centimeters into the air after hitting a rock.
The pale mare sighs. "My wellbeing was not exactly the top concern when creating this arrangement. Although there were some who got it worse than me, no doubt."
You begin to feel somewhat lost in her words, unsure about how ancient the things are that she was so casually discussing right now.
"I'm not going to ask about the details, since I will probably not understand anyway, but I am rather lost right now I'm afraid." Your body seems to share that sentiment, as one of your arms is now dragging behind at a very awkward angle.
She looks at you with a surprise in her eyes, almost as if she forgot that there was someone she was talking to. "You're right, my apologies. I tend to get lost in my thoughts sometimes."
"Yeah, you did mention that before. And I understand, even if I can't exactly relate. Being puny mortal and all."
You both share a chuckle, and Ivory seems to go back to her happy mood again. For some reason it makes you feel warm inside.
"So, you did send me back to Equestria after all and decided to join me soon after. Why not just go with me right away?"
"Well, for one thing the look on your face when you saw me was quite worth it." Once again she gives you that playful smile fit more for a filly than a primordial being tasked with taking care of the dead. Then again, you didn't meet too many of those before today, so what do you know? "And for another, I couldn't just travel here in my work attire, now could I?"
You raise your eyebrow before noticing what she is wearing right now. Or rather what she is not wearing. Her black cloak was gone, uncovering the entirety of her white body. You notice that her coat is all in the same shade of white, as you suspected before. It's a rather tame color, and you don't think you could mistake her for Celestia even without their hair being different. She didn't have quite the same radiance Sunhorse wore, but in a way it made her more… Approachable? Not a trait you'd think would be fitting for Death, at least yesterday. Her tail was just as dark as her mane, and contrasted heavy with the rest of her body, save for the deep onyx eyes. On her now exposed flank you could barely see her cutie mark, bumping up and down in rhythm with her stride. That combined with an angle you were seeing it from made it look like a smudge with a more vivid shade of white.
What you found more interesting however, was the lack of gemstone that she wore on her chest before. Her new chestpiece was a delicate ornament made out of something that looked like silver to your untrained eyes. In the middle of it rested a small, tame, and seemingly not hypnotizing diamond. It probably also means that you could stare at her all day now, and not drift away.
...
Not that you wanted to do that of course.
Anyway, you could also see her hoofwear made out of the same delicate material her "necklace" was. All in all she looked more like a noblemare than a Grim Reaper.
And probably expected you to comment on that.
"Oh, sorry. I did not notice before now."
She scoffs and flaps her wings.
Shit.
Bad answer dummy. You better think of something to save yourself, and quick.
"I mean, you kind of surprised me here, you know, the situation being rather new to me, and..." You stop stuttering for a second. Her wings have been put at rest, but her expression is far from being pleased yet. Welp. Time for the big guns.
"And you do look beautiful, Ivory."
She instantly recoils her head in surprise and stops in place, the disgruntled look on her face giving in to a surprised one. Hit and sunk. Your bold strategy seems to have forked fine. Really fine in fact, as her muzzle suddenly gains a cute, marble shade of pink in what you assume is a deep blush for her.
Frankly, the only reason blood is not rushing to your cheeks right now is because your heart is not working, otherwise you would've joined the mare in the blushing department as the situation was rather awkward. And for some reason, you seemed to be a magnet for awkward situations, so you would know your body’s reactions to them. If it wasn’t being currently dragged like a sack of potato by a certain cunt. Perks of being dead, huh? Or rather, having died.
Before you get to appreciate the sight of a non-monochromatic Ivory though, she covers her face with her right wing leaving everything below her now smiling eyes concealed. "Well if I had any doubts if you are a stallion before, you've just made them all go away. Truly it takes one to commit such a travesty of obliviousness." She tries to make her voice sound have a reprimanding tone, but you can hear an amused note giving the masquerade away. "Although I must admit that you know how to talk your way out of a hole you clumsily tripped into."
You sigh with relief internally, and put a smile on your immaterial face. "I'm afraid my tongue is a double edged sword, both causing trouble and solving it."
The alicorn narrows her eyes and presses her wing harder against her nuzzle. Did you say something wrong?
”Oh, I'm sure it could solve a lot of troubles if used correctly.”
…
Did she really go there? Surely not. An ancient being watching over countless generations of deceased equines would not go there. Right?
You decide to derail the conversation from ‘there’ just in case it actually was ‘there’. "So, uhm, you said that you can't interact with living ponies in any way, right?" you ask before starting to walk again, encouraging the alicorn to follow.
She gives you a surprised look before moving herself. "That's... correct, little one." Her voice is slightly muffled because of her wing positioning, and it looks like she struggled to find the correct choice of words there.
You find that strangely amusing.
"But in that case, how comes Raincunt..." You pause, but remember that she already knows all the "creative" nicknames you gave Dash. "Well, how comes that she heard me when I spoke out loud?"
The alicorn raises an eyebrow and distances her feathered limb from her muzzle slightly. "Oh? She did? And what did you say exactly?"
"Not much, really. I actually kind of just shouted "what" out loud, since she... mentioned something I did not expect in a thousand years," you confess, before looking at the bearer of strange news (and your body) in question, who currently is catching her breath with one hoof supported on your chest.
"Well, that would explain why." Death said before lowering her wing and letting it rest on her side once again. The pink trace that looked so fitting on her was gone by now. “She heard you, because you wanted her to hear you.”
"Really?"
"Yes. For you see, there is something you need to still understand about your current... state."
You nod encouraging the mare to continue.
"Even though it may not feel like it right now, this is your natural form."
You nod again before realising what you just heard. "Wait, what?"
She smiles seeing your confused expression. "Your memories before this day reach no further than the birth your mother gave you on your world. At least I assume so, since you don't look like a reptile to me."
You involuntarily get an image of little Nonny hatching from an egg. "I'm not. Just a standard mammal like every pony here. But I do not exactly remember my birth you see."
"Nopony does. And for a good reason." Her expression suddenly became very serious as she leans in a bit closer to you. "Your physical birth was not the beginning of "you". You existed before that, or rather aside that. In the place where time has no meaning. A free spirit, awaiting its destination in the material world."
You furrow your brows trying to take that in.
"I cannot tell you much more, but your current state is more than just that of a ghost. This is how you were created, before space or time."
You think on it for a bit, and a heavy silence invades the scene, only disrupted by chirping of the distant birds, defiantly indifferent to the weight of matters discussed, and a single thud that you can only assume to be your violated body part.
"I can't say I understand, because those are rather... abstract concepts. But I do believe you I suppose. It's just that I do not see how that allowed Dash to hear me."
"It's simple, relatively speaking. You can control how much imprint you leave behind you in this plane of existence. And because your state is so primal, you know how to do it.” She raises her wing and touches your shoulder with it. It feels warm. "Even if you do not realise it yet."
You feel like you're attempting to squeeze a Rubik's Cube through a keyhole whilst simultaneously solving it in 4 dimensions. "Could you... elaborate a bit?"
She puts on a warm smile that somehow reminds you of that one history teacher who always had patience for your questions. "You were once familiar with this form. Sure you don't remember it, but subconsciously you kept some of the instincts that came with it." She turns around and points at a tree that Rainbow seems to be heading towards. "Just like those birds know how to breathe, how to fly, and how to sing. Just as you knew how to let the air into your lungs when you left your mother's womb."
"But aren't those more organic things? What we've carried from years of evolution? How is that the same to having a memories from some kind of previous life?"
She snorts and answers without looking back at you. "It's not any previous life. It's the same life, you're still the same being that has just entered a catalyst of mortality."
"Okay, but what about my question?" you ask, feeling detached from the discussion a bit.
"I do not know the origin of your natural instincts. I take them for granted, something that was with you since you were given a specific form." Only now does she turn her head towards you. "And for your current one, it is natural for you to change the way you interact with the world on the fly." She extends her wing again, this time back towards the sandy surface you have landed on a moment ago. "I saw you cross without leaving a single trace. So you must have partially figured it out already."
You think back to Rainbow crawling up on you, how you really wanted her to not touch you. And how it worked, even though you did not know why. "So what you're saying is that I can be... physical when I just feel like it?"
"Correct. And the same applies to your friend hearing you."
You cringed at the word ‘friend’. "So she actually only heard me because I kind of wanted her to?"
The alicorn nods. You begin to understand now, or at least you're under such impression. You recall the thought that was in the back of your head behind that bush. That you somehow knew the right thing to do.
"Whatever it was that she revealed to you, it's probably resulted in you wanting to walk up to her and demand more information."
"Yes, on some level that was exactly what happened, even if it was not what I wanted to do in the end."
"But it was enough. Right there and then you wanted her to hear you, and you made it so that she did."
You instinctively look to the spot you were hiding in. "But some time after that she heard me when I rustled some leaves. And I didn't exactly do that on purpose there."
Ivory gives a thoughtful hum. "My guess is that at this point you were still stuck in the mindset of influencing the world, so to speak. If you didn't really want to be hidden from Rainbow, then you didn't exactly switch right away."
Come to think of it, you were a bit too distracted to care back then. You tried to recall events from your past, instead of focusing on stealth, so it makes sense.
"There's also another factor that might be in play here." The mare adds, causing you to raise your sort of existent eyebrow. "You're still used to being alive, even if it sounds a touch odd."
"I can't help but to agree," you say before sneaking a peek at your body that seems very much not alive.
Ivory chuckles softly before continuing. "You still expect to behave like a material being. When you step on the grass, you think that it will bend. When you step in sand, you expect to leave a hoofprint." You flare her a questioning look, and she corrects herself. "Yes, a footprint rather. And when you reach out to touch someone..." she interrupts herself by stopping in front of you, causing you to follow. You know where this is going, she's done that before. For some reason she likes to touch your shoulder when she talks. "... you expect them to feel it." The mare says before booping your nose with her hoof.
You scrunch hard and raise your hand to protect yourself from any further invasions of your nasal privacy. It seems however that whatever the purpose of this ruthless act was, it was already achieved as no more hooves were heading towards you right now.
Upon seeing your reaction the alicorn bursts into a healthy laughter and begins swishing her obsidian tail.
"You know, with all the ways I've seen death impersonated in my life, none came close to you," you state while rubbing your nose.
She controls herself enough to respond while wiping a single tear from her eye. "I'm going to give you the benefit of a doubt and take that as a compliment."
"I mean, I just didn't expect you to be so..." You pause and take a good look at her. Her eyes are watery from the laugh she had a second ago, but you could still see both amusement and growing curiosity. Her head is very slightly tilted, her tail continuing its pendulum motion as she watches you with anticipation. "Well, light."
She looks down at her chests and touches the fluff above her neckpiece with her hoof. "Why, do you not like the shade? Would you prefer it black?"
"No no, I meant, lighthearted. Happy. Joyful."
As if to prove your point, she giggles before asking "And do you consider yourself disappointed with that?"
"More like ‘pleasantly surprised’. I'm not sure what I expected, but I'm glad I was wrong anyway."
"Well, I try to make the best out of my situation. If I had to take everything seriously and act all grim all the time, I'd go insane." She circles her hoof next to her head in a universal gesture. "But I don't get to be like this all the time - far from it. When a soul must cross my domain, I guide it the best I can, and that's not the time for jokes."
You raise an eyebrow. "But my predicament is the time for jokes?"
"Precisely." She says with a huge grin.
You scoff and raise your head high in the air, trying to do your best Rarity impression. "Very well then, I see how things are. Now if you don't mind, I'll be going somewhere else, since apparently I am not being taken seriously here." And with that you hastily walk past the mare and head towards Thundercunt and your poor, violated body.
Ivory however does not fall for it one bit. "A great decision little one, you should put your hoof down when you're treated like that." She says before cantering towards you and easily catching up. "And I'll go with you. Heavens know what you might do to without my watchful eye."
You manage to keep your face stiff for about 3 seconds, before the sight of alicorn trotting at your side with the proud smile breaks you. You scoff and give in to the amusement, not able to pretend anymore.
"Oh really? And what did I ever do to earn your concern?"
"Well, there's that episode when you died today, and that's a bit worrisome."
You grab the base of your nose between the thumb and index finger before snorting. "Never change Ivory, never change."
You're answered with what you consider by now her trademark grin. "Thanks, I wasn't planning on doing that anyway."
And with that you both make towards the oak you saw Dash climb a moment ago, giggling like a pair of schoolgirls.
The weirdest pair of schoolgirls under the sun, no doubt.
* * *
Another oaken leaf gets stuck in your mane as you fly to the next branch up. Your ascent was painfully slow, but it was not your fault.
Well, not directly anyway. You know, in the greater scope it probably was your fault - you wouldn't have to carry Anon up this forsaken tree if you didn't hurt him. But the speed itself was the result of his weight slowing you down. So not your fault. He shouldn't be eating all those gross things. Like cheese, meat, and eggs.
You shudder involuntarily at the last one. You always considered Anon weird, him being alien and whatnot. But the eggs thing was pushing it too far. He was eating all of them, and even tried to make you eat some too. Well, he won't be doing that for a good while now, or anything else really.
You sigh. You really fucked up today. First you knocked out the only human in Equestria, who at very least was your friend's friend, even if you two never got along too well. Then you almost went crazy. And the seemingly genius plan of hiding him in the oak canopy you saw earlier turned up to be a bit flawed.
Sure, it would provide a great amount of shade, and would make it less likely for a random pony to stumble on him and… draw some wrong conclusions. But not only was he heavy as a boulder, he was also extremely inflexible. He got stuck on a thick branch earlier, and you decided to just keep pulling him up. A normal pony would either let go, or just stretch their limb to accommodate.
But not Anon. When you heard a snap you thought that the damn branch gave up, but in the end it was a human leg that was weaker and now his foot was stuck at a very odd angle. You never saw him put it that way, so it was a safe bet that you popped his joint or something. Normally you'd see that as a big issue, but seeing as how he didn’t react at all, you had bigger worries. If you caused him to fall into some kind of coma, this could be dangerous for his life.
...
Where do ponies go after death? Would Anon go there to? He would end up dying in the land of ponies, so probably. But then what? Would they let him in? And who are "they" anyway?
Your spine is overrun with a cold shiver. You REALLY didn't want to think about that thing in particular. Whatever creature would be there to welcome you would have to be scary as Tartarus. Well, maybe not as Tartarus, since it was guarded by that whole Cerberus dog.
...
Would you go there? If you ended up killing a... more or less innocent creature, would it be worth being condemned for eternity? You could not hide what you did from "them" either. Celestia would be hard enough to trick, Twilight would be manageable.
But Death? How could you lie to her if she, or he, or whatever, no doubt talked to Anon when he died. And you doubt he would be covering your rump in that scenario.
Whatever. That won’t happen, because you are going to see to Anon getting well. You messed up, and you will fix it.
So when you will have to face "her," you’ll be able to look into her eyes with a mostly clear conscience. Into her cold, empty gaze. And hear her lifeless voice.
No, no, no. You stupid filly, focus. Anon. Tree. Up. Now.
You grab his shoulders and flutter your wings with double the effort. You swear that with each branch he was somehow getting heavier. That, or you were growing weaker. But there's not much left to go. A few more branches and the canopy will be so thick there's no way anypony will spot him, and he will be safe from the sun.
You settle Anon with a thud and wipe the sweat out of your eyes. This was a workout, as you don’t usually lift weights in flight at Wonderbolts trainings. But there's a perfect branch right above you. Nice and wide, it will nest him for now, until you return with some help.
Come on, last effort.
You focus hard on ignoring your aching muscles and shorter breath. So hard in fact, that you didn't hear the beehive you were now floating towards. Not until it was too late anyway.
You manage to settle Anon on the branch of your choice. You even make sure that he is safe from falling and can be left alone for a bit. But that was going to be the last thing you did, because you finally realise the neighborhood you just gave him. And his new neighbors came to say hi.
To your flank.
With their stingers.
You honestly couldn't care less as to why, but when you were too preoccupied with safely nestling Anon, you upset a nearby branch with the hive on it. Not the smartest thing to do, to be honest, but this isn't the time for self reflection. This is the time for panic. Again, a running theme today.
You spring up into the air the instant you realise your situation. Unfortunately you were still in the thick oaken canopy, and above you was another branch, now probably wearing an imprint of a pony head. The concussion you got from this is rather short-lived though, as a sting to your rear area brings you back to reality. Oh, there goes gravity, as you take into the air once more, this time aware of the branch above you. You make your way towards the edge of this green-brown maze as soon as you can, which is not soon enough as far as your rump is concerned. But hey, it is really difficult to navigate this particular airspace, so you won't feel to bad about yourself. When you get to think about it anyway.
Finally you break free into the open air, and relief fills your heart. That is until you notice that the bees have followed you. No getting away this easily it seems. You make a dash towards the stream you know is not far from here at all. Even if you were faster than the angry swarm, it would stay relentless in its pursuit, though the water should bring you safety.
You can now see the azure ribbon that will soon prove to be your sanctuary. Hopefully. Normally outrunning something as slow as a swarm of bees wouldn't be a problem for you, but all the heavy lifting left you rather exhausted. You could feel the bases of your wings beginning to burn with the pain you normally didn't feel until much, much later into a flight routine. But then again, you were made for speed, not heavy lifting and Anon was quite a heavy person to carry around. Not as heavy as your sins though.
A sharp sting in your withers brings you back from the moment of reflection. For a second there you're scared that the Celestia damn swarm has caught up with you, but it was not the case. It was just a protest of your tired body, that added on to the list of things that hurt you now. Wings, forelegs, withers, flanks, rump, and muzzle. Be it from fatigue or bees, almost all of your body feels like it is on fire, which only makes the water this much more of a promising goal.
The last meters feel like flying through mud, but you finally make it. You dive under the surface of the cold stream and feel the clashing sensations on your skin. The little insects' venom trying to overflow you with the burn, while the welcoming embrace of water attempts to override it with a pleasant chill. It partially succeeds in doing so, and you're eager to feel any relief at this point. You will need to take care of the stings properly soon, but for now you should be alright.
The mad dive from the tree left your breath rather short though, and you are forced to surface yourself much sooner than you would prefer to. You raise your head into the air, and after taking a deep breath you look around.
You do not see any bees chasing you now, but you're not exactly happy with what you do see.
"O-oh my goodness Dashie, are you o-okay?" asked Fluttershy with real concern in her voice.
