Scootaloo's Shame
The incident, or tragedy, really, was predictable in hindsight, as such tragedies tend to be. To find its exact root cause, though, one would need to look at the history of Ponyville, and especially at the trade routes that had inspired its infrastructure back in the day. Some would argue the tragedy wouldn’t have happened had it not been for yet another ill-fated incursion by the Royal Guard into the Zebrulu jungle to retrieve the Eye of Sullymane. Others still might argue the expedition itself wasn’t the problem, but that it was all because of the decision of a pegasus mare whose husband had had a most painful encounter with a zurspug lizard, namely the decision to leave home and go see said husband in the hospital abroad.
All these things played a part in the horrors that would unfold. But Scootaloo would say it was set in motion on the day she finally managed to fly. Not glide, not hover, but fly, truly fly. All it had really taken in the end was practice, as well as a new potential entry in the Canterlot Book of Records under the header ‘Fastest Scooter Descent Down A Ramp,’ which, if published, would undoubtedly be followed by a sponsorship deal from Skates ‘N Scooters Incorporated.
Scootaloo enjoyed her overdue abilities then. A week or two of secretive low hovering and flapping later, and she found herself standing just outside Rainbow Dash’s home, ready for her first official lesson. With Scootaloo's mom out of town, the little filly had been staying there for a month already, and was due to stay for another month and a half, depending on how her father’s situation evolved.
Not that that would matter. Scootaloo already had plans: help Fluttershy out with the construction work at the dam, help the filly scouts with their butterfly and bunny census – a very important task that demanded the assistance of an astute and nimble flyer such as herself – and that was assuming she wasn’t needed to deal with any of the many emergencies that Ponyville had to offer for its noble and brave pegasus population. Truly, she was ready to join the higher ranks of her race.
Of course, she’d have to actually get up to speed first. There were still a few issues she needed to deal with in that regard.
She pushed those thoughts aside. Flying was ninety percent confidence, after all. It wouldn’t do to get off the ground at last and then be landbound again just because of some minor details disturbing her concentration.
“Okay, Scootaloo,” Rainbow Dash said, marching up behind the girl. “We’ve got a couple of hours before the reservoir thing, time for your first official lesson. Let’s start with newbie takeoff procedure.”
Newbie. Scootaloo hated that word, even if a newbie was exactly what she was. At least Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle weren’t around to hear it. No, she’d treat them to a show, instead. Once she got the hang of everything and she wouldn’t embarrass herself.
“Umm, hooves are firm.” Scootaloo patted the cloud she was on to test its resistance. Like any residential cloud, it stood firm under her hooves, unyielding. She idly wondered if pegasus secret agents would have to bother with trap doors, or if they just dove through the floor in case of emergency. “Ears are clear and not ringing.” She wriggled her ears for good measure. Ringing ears were bad, she knew, Rainbow Dash had said so. Probably because then you risked flying into seagulls or something.
“Good, what else?”
“Wings are in good shape.” She wriggled her little flappers to illustrate. In hindsight, she wasn’t sure why she’d ever worried about their size. Bulk Biceps had gotten himself into the Equestria Games with wings the size of hers. Most of the pegasi in her class were about the same size, body and wings. One of them was practically the same build as her, pound for pound, and he’d been flying for as long as she could remember. But that didn’t matter now. What mattered was that her wings worked, and that they worked well.
“And finally?”
She sucked in a deep breath through her nose and blew it out through her mouth. “No clogged nose, no wheezing in my chest, no aches in my heart.”
“Perfect. So, how do we take off?”
Scootaloo groaned and rolled her eyes. “Flap your wings and go straight up, above the floor, so you’re sure you can stay up. I’m not a baby, Rainbow Dash.”
“I know, I know, but your mom would want you to stay safe, so… do it like you’re supposed to.”
She was all too happy to oblige. A few slow, delicate flaps of her wings, and she felt the magic flow through her body. Like floating in water, only without the chill, and with more of a pull downward. A scary pull, she felt, but not a bad one, as long as you kept your head together.
Rainbow Dash smiled once Scootaloo got to eye level with her. “Good. You’re getting the hang of it now.”
“So what’s next?”
“You know what’s next, kiddo. I’m gonna show you how Weather Patrol ponies do things. So pay attention, you’re gonna wanna know this once Flight Camp rolls around.”
“Now, from the top: cloud shove!”
Though she was getting tired from all the attempts, Scootaloo dashed forward into the thick cumulus, throwing all of her bodyweight into it to push it into position. Unfortunately, she still didn’t have a lot of bodyweight to throw around, and the cloud was stubborn in its refusal to budge, though it had to relent eventually. It slowly floated forward while Scootaloo flapped and struggled under Rainbow Dash’s watchful eye.
“And drain!”
Scootaloo sighed and hopped up on the cloud’s surface. Her wings were glad for the reprieve, but not for long. She jumped up and down, trying to get the water out, but she managed little more than a drizzle.
“And lightning bolt!”
This was a fun one. Scootaloo flew to the side of the cloud, reared and bucked it to squeeze out lightning. Here, at least, she was successful, as getting lightning out of a cloud was a fairly easy trick, even for a newbie.
Getting the lightning to go where you wanted it to, now that was a challenge.
She bucked, the cloud buzzed, and next thing she knew she was sporting the Static Shock hairstyle that had gone out of fashion twenty years ago, complete with a singed tail. It was just like riding a scooter, really, only less friction burn and more electric.
“Err… good try?”
Scootaloo sighed. “Is this really what you did on the Weather Patrol?”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yup, all the time.”
“But why do I need to know this stuff?”
“You wanna be awesome, like me, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
Rainbow cupped a hoof to her ear and leaned in, smiling petulantly. “I can’t hear you...”
“Yes, I wanna be awesome like you, Rainbow Dash. But what does that have to do with just… pushing clouds and stuff? Why can’t we do show flying?”
Rainbow Dash backed away and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Same reason Apple Bloom doesn’t do rodeos yet, and same reason Sweetie Belle isn’t learning how to shoot fireballs out of her horn yet.”
“The insurance ponies won’t let me?”
“Ye-no! No, kiddo. So you have some skills to fall back on. There’s more to flying than racing or show flying.”
“I know, Rainbow Dash. There’s rescue flying, too,” Scootaloo argued.
“Yeah, that too. But that’s the really advanced hero stuff. You’re not up to that level yet.”
“And will I be if I learn the weather stuff?”
Rainbow Dash pondered for a moment, weighing her words carefully. “It’d be a good start. So, you gonna try again?”
Scootaloo groaned. “Are you sure little ponies like me can even do this? I’ve never seen any other pegasus kids do anything with clouds.”
“And shove!”
Right at that moment, a shadow passed over the two. Looking up, Scootaloo realised it was a cloud, one that was above the newbie heights and at the grownup level of the sky. Seeing it in action, with other flyers sharing the sky, it dawned on her that flying was, in a real sense, like swimming, but the other way around. If you stop swimming, she figured, the water still holds you up, and you can float. If you stop flying, you fall. Likewise, a newbie swimmer would stay in the shallow parts of the water, and try to stay afloat, close to the surface. But in flight, the newbies were the ones closer to ground level.
In flight, the ponies who were better than you were looking down at you.
“And drain!” came another call. Scootaloo stood on her own cloud and held her hoof up to block out the sun shining in her eyes. She recognised the voice from somewhere, but she couldn’t quite place it.
“Hey, Thunderlane!” Rainbow Dash greeted. “Playing drill sergeant again?”
“You know it. Okay, Rumble, and now bolt!”
Scootaloo finally managed to tell the grey colt apart from the cloud he’d been working, just in time to see him buck the thing and land a lightning bolt straight below him. It came with a proud and impressive thunder, the sort of thing that scares off dragons, unlike her lightning bolt, which may have frightened a mosquito but not much else.
Thunderlane came flying down towards the pair. “What are you doing here, Rainbow Dash?”
“Showing Scootaloo how to work clouds, same as you and your brother.”
The stallion froze in shock. “Wait, you can fly now?”
“Umm, yeah?” The filly’s wings bunched up against her sides.
“Since when?”
“About two weeks ago. But I’m still learning.”
“Hey, congratulations!” A high-pitched voice piped up behind and above her. Rumble had dragged his cloud down to their level.
Thunderlane growled. “Rainbow Dash, what were you thinking? You know you can’t just start a newbie up with that kind of practice.”
“Well...”
Scootaloo cringed. Those wings practically dug into her now.
“You should have told somepony, seriously! I don’t think even Pinkie Pie knows. Geez, and here I am without a present.”
Scootaloo’s ears perked, and her wings spread again. “Wait, what?”
“I mean, everypony knows how much you wanted to fly like Rainbow Dash, and now that you’re off the ground, you're busy training already? You should be celebrating with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. Do they know?”
"Umm, no. Not yet."
Thunderlane shook his head in disapproval. "Not cool, Scootaloo. That's not the sort of thing you keep from your friends."
“I’m sure Miss Cheerilee would want to know, too. It is nice to have a flyer to keep track of everypony from up high, when we’re out on field trips,” Rumble said.
She looked at him with a mix of embarressment and envy. “Eheh, I, umm, I kinda want to be flying right before I start celebrating, if that’s okay. You know, make sure I’m not making any mistakes, make sure I can do everything I’m supposed to. Would you mind keeping it a secret for now?”
Thunderlane looked like he was about to say something, but thought the better of it. “Oh. Oh, like that, okay, that's a pretty good reason. Sure, no problem.”
“Do you wanna practise with me, then?” Rumble asked. “I could show you the basics.”
Scootaloo looked anxiously to Rainbow Dash.
“Go on. Rumble is the best young flyer in town, and he’s about the same size as you. And I need to talk to Thunderlane about some stuff anyway,” Rainbow said.
If Rainbow Dash said so, Scootaloo could only follow. “Okay, I guess.”
“Great.”
“Why don’t you go practise over the water there?” Rainbow Dash pointed to the nearby pond. “In case you get tired. You wouldn’t want your wings to cramp up again.”
Scootaloo would have objected, but she realised she hadn’t actually had a wing cramp yet.
Rumble wriggled his wings. “Well, I have been working pretty hard. Better safe than sorry.” He jumped off of his cloud and started shoving it into place.
He jumped.
He didn’t have to take off slowly, check everything before takeoff, all that boring newbie stuff. He just jumped. And his cloud was bigger. And his wings didn’t need to flap as much. And he was faster at pushing, even with all that. He moved through the air like it was nothing. He was over the pond, where he needed to be, before she even realised she was supposed to move.
Scootaloo, mindful of Rainbow’s eyes on her, did the flapping up before she got behind her cloud and started pushing. “Hnngg! Hnngg!”
Rainbow Dash winced. “Don’t hurt yourself, squirt.”
“I’ve… got it… Rainbow… Dash!”
It was a flight of shame, really. She got that cloud moving, but it was at a snail’s pace, even more so compared to Rumble’s speed. And yet he didn’t say anything. He didn’t even laugh.
Part of her wished he did.
Eventually, Scootaloo got her practice cloud as far as Rumble had, and the two got to work on practising, with Rumble no doubt sharing some tips for a smaller flyer that Rainbow Dash had forgotten about.
Once the kids were out of earshot, Thunderlane nudged the mare. “So what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“Scootaloo can fly, and she doesn’t want anypony to know? Even I can tell that’s not normal.”
“I don’t know,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I thought she’d be happy, but she’s… not. I don’t get it.”
“Is she struggling with anything?”
“Not any more than you’d think. I’ve seen worse at Flight Camp. I’ve seen worse in flying contests.” She shuddered.
“Maybe she’s worried about her dad?”
“Maybe. But he’s fine now, last I heard. He’s breathing on his own again, that’s something.”
“Does she know that?”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, she knows. Maybe she just feels left out, even with the whole flying thing. She’ll feel better once she learns some tricks, right?”
“Yeah, that’s probably it. Just a little anxious to get to the good stuff.”
“So what do you know already?” Rumble asked, ignoring the laboured pants Scootaloo was letting out from the otherwise simple act of moving a cloud.
She managed to clamber up on the thing and wiped her brow. “Phew. Umm, taking off and landing, and the stuff Rainbow Dash was showing me.”
Rumble’s ears twitched. “Oh, okay. Try pushing the cloud again, then.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes in exasperation, then flew off and rammed her shoulder into the thing and barely got it moving, her wings buzzing like crazy as she pushed into it with her shoulders.
“Stop, stop, you’ll hurt yourself. Try this.” Rumble flew in front of the cloud and pushed his hooves into it. “Don’t use your shoulders like that; your magic is stronger in your hooftips. Push into the cloud, bend your arms slightly, and use your wings to get it moving.”
“But I tried that, and it doesn’t work.”
He smiled. “Sure it does. Just try it.”
“Okay.”
Scootaloo assumed the position and pushed, again barely getting the thing to move despite her best efforts. “See what I mean?”
“Huh. Well, that’s the proper technique for it, at least. I’m sure Rainbow Dash would tell you to do it like that if she really wanted it done right.”
That got a grumble out of the girl. She looked back to see Rainbow Dash talking to Thunderlane, where Scootaloo wouldn’t hear. Didn’t take a genius to figure out what they were talking about, then.
“Something wrong?” Rumble asked.
“No, nothing. What else can you show me?”
He winced and rubbed the back of his head, careful not to look her in the eyes. “Actually, if you can’t push clouds yet, you’re kinda stuck with the other stuff, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“Umm, you’re not strong enough yet?” He pointed to her sides, and her shaking wings. “Your wings aren’t used to the practice yet, neither is the rest of you. You can’t go getting rain or lightning if you’re not strong enough.”
“And how do I get stronger?” she asked with a low growl.
Rumble shrugged nonchalantly. “Pushing clouds, breathing exercises. Are you sure you’re okay? You look a little tired.”
“I’m fine. What about the flying that’s not weather stuff?” She asked, her voice taking on an edge. “What about rescue flying? Do you need to be strong enough for that, too?”
“Umm, honestly, I’m not sure. I guess you could try an emergency swoop, if you really wanted to, but-”
“But what? Are you saying I’m not good enough to fly like Rainbow Dash does?”
“Uh… no? I thought that was obvious. I mean, I can’t fly like Thunderlane can, either.”
“Well, Rainbow Dash isn’t Thunderlane, and I’m not you. So how do you do this swooping?”
Only now did she realise she’d been walking forward, getting in the boy’s face. He tapped her chest to gently push her back.
“Sorry,” Scootaloo said.
Rumble straightened himself out, chest proudly jutted forward and limbs stretched out, wings up. “It’s okay. First you get into diving position. Then you jump and go straight down, keep everything close to you; arms, legs, wings. That’s so you can turn easier: it’s all about where you keep the weight. If you have to rush, you flap your wings to catch up to your target. Then you pull up. You let your arms and legs hang a little to slow down, let your wings take the force, and you glide on up.”
In one seamless motion, he leaped from his cloud, went straight down like a cannonball, then went into a perfectly smooth, seamless glide, before spiralling back up to land next to her.
“Wow.”
“See? You try.”
“No!” Rainbow Dash rushed in front of the filly before she could take off. “No, you are not up to that yet, Scootaloo.”
“But I wanna practise rescue flying,” Scootaloo said.
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Look, I get that there’s a lot of new things you want to do now that you can fly-”
“No, you don’t!” Scootaloo shouted. “You just… ”
“I don’t… what?”
She sighed and shook her head. “Never mind. You’re right; I can’t do this yet.” She looked over to her trembling wings. “I don’t have the strength for it yet.”
Rumble winced in sympathy. “There’s no need to be embarrassed about that, you know.”
Just the word ‘embarrassed’ made her cringe.
Rainbow Dash nudged her on the flank. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing’s the matter. I just got too excited, I guess. I have to wait, right? Just need to rest and then practise again.” Scootaloo turned her head to check her quaking wings again. “Nothing bad about that. It’s… it’s normal, right?”
“Perfectly normal,” Thunderlane said. “You get used to flight, but it takes a while, especially once you start going higher up.”
“Yeah, so, umm, if it’s okay with you, I think I’d better stop now. I’ll just walk home, stay on the ground. Maybe get a snack. I mean, you had to go check on something, too, right? We practised for long enough today.”
Rainbow Dash may not have been the sharpest spear in the arsenal, but she recognised a need for personal space when she saw it, partly due to having hers invaded and overwhelmed with pinkness so often. “Yeah, you go and get a snack, get some sugar. Me and Thunderlane do need to get going pretty soon.”
“I’ll come with you,” Rumble said. “Wouldn’t want you to pass out if you’re that tired.”
“Weren’t you gonna get that Neighruto thing today?” Thunderlane said.
Rumble pouted, as his brother was clearly offending the boy's honour by implying a gentlecolt such as him should abandon a filly over something as trite as a comic book, but he got the message, eventually. “Well yeah, but… oh, right. I’d better go now before the store closes. Sorry, Scootaloo.”
“Don’t mention it.”
She hopped, and glided down, before starting a slow trek to Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash and Thunderlane took off, and so did Rumble.
She stopped for a few seconds, then walked off once her fellow pegasi were out of sight. A few seconds was all it took. Before the count of five, they were where they needed to be, or where they wanted to be. That’s just what pegasi were like.
That is, normal pegasi were like that.
Scootaloo was walking through Ponyville when the tragedy struck. She was just on her way to Sugarcube Corner, to drown her frustrations in a chocolate milkshake. She wanted to think of other things, to forget about Rumble, and her shame.
At least nopony around knew. She was happy to walk, leaving everyone none the wiser.
Two more streets to cross, and she’d be enjoying a well-earned snack, alone with her thoughts. Apple Bloom would be busy with dance lessons, Sweetie Belle was in Canterlot. One Crusader was learning how to dance, how to move graciously and beautifully, the other was getting tutored on the magic she’d been born with, the magic she had a birthright to.
And Scootaloo was doing neither, because she had to wait. She couldn’t go help Fluttershy, or lend a wing to the filly scouts, nothing. She wasn’t ready to fly for real yet. She had to get stronger first.
And even the ponies teaching her wouldn’t trust her. Rainbow Dash wouldn’t teach her anything beyond pushing clouds while Rumble was already doing rescue flying.
She wasn’t getting flying lessons; she was being babysat slightly higher off the ground than usual.
Not that she didn’t agree with the need for it, given how pitiful her skills turned out to be. A knot formed in her stomach, and it went up into her lungs, almost making her eyes water.
A good milkshake to cheer her up, that’s what she needed.
She stepped out into Lookout Lane, and then it happened.
Lookout Lane was known for two things: the fact that it would take you straight through town and towards the scenic point, and the fact that it had a less than ideal terrain. Carts were always breaking down here or running downhill and ponies rushed through on and off all the time, usually drivers picking up or dropping off important visitors from either Canterlot or Rainbow Falls. It was the kind of street parents used to teach their kids about road safety, or more specifically what would happen when said safety was ignored.
She took in the situation in a flash, like time stopped just to let her know bad things were going to happen. Time was kind of mean like that, Scootaloo realised.
Missus Cake was pushing a cart around, laden with donuts, probably for a group of sightseeing tourists. Little round things covered in sugar and different glazes, the scent of chocolate and at least five different jams hung over the treats and drifted on the wind. Scootaloo would have licked her lips if she’d had the time to react to that sweet, enticing smell hitting her nose. But then the cart hit a ditch, Missus Cake lost her grip trying to push forward, the weight of the thing shifted too suddenly, and gravity, cruel and merciless gravity, took care of the rest.
The donut cart went out of control, rolling downhill at a dangerous pace.
Scootaloo’s body tensed. Mere weeks before, she would have run, or called out. Now things were different. Now she flew.
In an instant she was off the ground, dashing to get ahead of the cart. Like a true rescue pony, she then flew backwards into the thing to stop it, digging her hooves into the ground and letting her shoulders take the brunt of the weight. Same as what Rainbow Dash would have done, she figured. She had, however, forgotten about one tiny little detail, namely that she was, herself, tiny.
The cart pushed her forward, roughing up her hooves and causing her to kick up dust as she went.
“Get out of the way!” She managed to yell at any ponies in her path.
Thunk!
Another bump in the road, another knock on the cart, and the thing tipped. She flew up again, trying to push it back, but it was no use. All four wheels went up, and the donuts spilled out onto the street. She managed to find the right leverage point to tip it back upright, but the damage was done.
A wave of sprinkled sugar and doughy bits washed over her.
She shook her head. It had all happened so fast. She hardly even realised what had happened, the dull aches of what her body had suffered only vaguely alerted her something was wrong. Looking down at her hooves, she noticed the red splotches along with the white powder. Shivering, she dared to lick the red on her hooves.
Donut jam. Mostly raspberry.
The taste of failure.
She stood in the middle of carnage. Strawberry frosted, chocolate glazed, jam-filled, all kinds of otherwise delicious treats lay wasted in the dirt. The cart still pushed insistently against her back, but something pulled it to stand stable again, and she sighed in defeat. She felt the blood drain from her head, making her feel faint. All around, the donuts were spilled across the ground like the casualties of a battle, a battle she failed to win. Her heart was still pounding from the adrenalin rush.
It didn’t matter. Nothing she did mattered.
“Scootaloo… did you just...” Missus Cake stammered as she came trotting along to the front of the thing.
Tears welled up in the girl’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Missus Cake. I couldn't do it.”
“Wait, what-”
Before the mare could even ask if she was okay, Scootaloo jumped out and took off.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been thinking, but she was pretty sure it was a while. After an eternity of mulling over what had happened, Scootaloo still sat alone, staring at the cloud floor of Rainbow’s house. The girl’s hooves, or rather her whole body, was sticky and dirty. Not that she wasn’t used to that messiness after a stunt well performed – or, in her case, usually well attempted – but it was different now. It was supposed to be different now.
She was supposed to be different now.
“Hey, kiddo.”
“Hey, Rainbow Dash.”
“Water reservoir’s fine,” Rainbow said. “Weather Patrol had to top it up again, after that big wildfire down in Fillydelphia. Do you want to go back to practising?”
“No. I don’t think I should,” came the quiet reply.
“I heard a funny story from Missus Cake on the way here, too. You, umm, you wanna tell me what happened?” Rainbow Dash flew over and sat next to her on the bed.
“A cart got loose on Lookout Lane. I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t do it.” She sobbed. “The donuts spilled out. They got ruined because of me. I failed. And everypony saw me fail.”
“Actually, everypony saw you fly. But I’m guessing that’s even worse, huh?”
Scootaloo bit her lip.
“Scootaloo, what is going on? Rumble was trying to be nice to you, and you got in his face like he’d insulted you. I tried to get you lessons, and you decided you’d rather run off to get a milkshake. I could understand why if you were just tired or something, but then you do this? Missus Cake told me you flew off before she could say anything. You left the scene of an accident that involved you. That’s dangerous, and not in the fun way. I mean, look at you, you’ve got splinters on your back and your ears. And you’re dirty. You can’t just leave after something like that; you might be hurt. Or you could get an infection.”
“I know. I’m sorry. For everything.”
Rainbow grumbled as she wiped some of the dirt off. Scootaloo wasn’t badly hurt, at least she didn't think she was, nothing a good scrub and some cleaning alcohol wouldn’t fix. Eventually, Rainbow stopped long enough to ask, “So why’d you do it? What’s got you so upset?”
“I failed, Rainbow Dash. I tried to fly like you and I failed.”
“But it’s just a bunch of donuts, Scootaloo. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
Scootaloo let her head hang.
“Oh. It’s not the donuts, huh? It’s the flying and failing part that’s got you upset.”
Silence fell.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Scootaloo shook her head. “What’s there to talk about? I still can’t fly right, just like you said.”
“Yes, you can. You’re just not used to it. You’ll learn, and that’s no reason to blow up on a lesson like that. You’ll get stronger-”
“Stop saying that! I did everything exactly like I was supposed to, and it didn’t make any difference! When am I going to get strong enough? Will I ever?” Scootaloo wiped her eyes, and something squeaked in her throat. “I’ve wanted to fly for so long, waiting to get stronger, or figure it out, or get bigger wings, whatever, and now I’ve finally got off the ground I still have to wait? That’s not fair!”
Rainbow Dash recoiled at that. “So you need more practice. That’s fine. You won’t have to wait long. A couple of weeks of flying with me, you’ll get in great aerial shape.”
The girl bit her lip. “That’s what everypony always says. That’s what you said before. But you might have been wrong. You don’t know if you’re wrong right now.”
“Neither do you.”
The filly sighed.
“You can’t seriously think you’re not strong enough. You can fly now, just as well as Featherweight or Chip Mint or any of the other pegasus kids in town. Moving clouds isn’t easy. That’s why I started you on that in the first place; I thought that kind of strength was what you wanted. You need to be building yourself up first, of course you’re not doing the fancy stuff already. You’re new to this, and that’s okay. So what if you can’t stop a runaway cart yet? You got pretty close. None of the other kids would have been able to do it.”
“But you would have. You would have saved the donuts if you’d been there instead.”
“Probably. But I’m a grownup. I’m bigger than you, heavier. And even I can’t stop every cart that goes out of control on Lookout Lane. Trust me, I’ve tried it with a bus once and that, umm… that could have gone better. You can’t blame yourself for that kind of thing.”
“But I couldn’t do it. I tried, and I couldn’t do it. And those were just donuts. What’s gonna happen when it’s for real? What if I have to...”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “What if you have to save somepony, like your friends? Is that it?”
Scootaloo nodded in kind. “I’m useless. I did all that, I finally learned how to fly, and I’m still useless. I’m still the weak link. I’m always gonna be the weak link.”
“No, you’re not. You’re strong, and fast, and brave. And like I keep telling you, you’re new to this. You want to do stuff like that? Fine, then you work up to it. You put in the hours, you decide when you’ve had enough, you earn it. But until you put that effort into it, you can’t expect to just be perfect at it just like that. Featherweight can’t fly as high as you can now, and he’s bigger than you.”
“Rumble can. Rumble’s way better. Rumble would have done it right.”
“Well, yeah, but he’s got, like, three years of flying on you. And he’s as fast as he’s gonna get until his next growth spurt. Which, guess what, is probably not going to be that far from yours. You can catch up to him.”
Still, Scootaloo’s jaw clenched.
“Hey, don’t worry about it, okay? You haven’t even learned proper rescue flying yet. Of course you couldn’t do it. That’s not your fault. You’re still-”
“A newbie? Is that what you’re gonna say? What if I don’t want to be a newbie? What if I’m tired of waiting and waiting and not knowing if it’ll ever get better?”
“Then you practise,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “And you ask for help. I’m sure Rumble wouldn’t mind taking you along when he goes comic book shopping in Rainbow Falls. Get some distance flying under your belt, that’ll build your strength more than the sprinting you’ve been doing, at least the kind you're asking for. You don't have to fly the way I do if that's not what you want. If you want to fly like him, you can do what he does, with him, he won’t mind the company. And hey, Rumble doesn’t even have his cutie mark yet. You could help him out with that.”
“Maybe. But what if I’m not good enough? What if there’s just something wrong with me?”
“You really think something’s wrong with you, kiddo?”
Scootaloo pouted. “Well… why wouldn’t there be? It took that long for me to start flying, I still can’t fly the way I ought to-”
“Hold on.” Rainbow Dash held up a hoof. “The way you ought to? What exactly is the way you ought to fly? How good are you supposed to be by now?”
Scootaloo looked away. “Better than this.”
“Uhuh. And what if you do get good enough? Who’s gonna decide that? How would you know?”
The filly gulped, trying to hold back tears.
“You’re not worried about anything being wrong with you, are you? Not really. You don’t care if you’re not good enough. It really is the donuts that’s got you upset. So, what, you think the same thing is gonna happen again, but with somepony else? Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle? Your mom, me… your dad?”
Finally, something cracked, and Scootaloo threw her arms around Rainbow Dash. “I wasn’t there, Rainbow Dash. I couldn’t do anything because I wasn’t there.”
Rainbow patted her head. In hindsight, she should have guessed. “I know, Scootaloo, I know.”
“What if something bad happens and I’m not there? What if I am there, and I’m too slow?”
“It’s not your fault, Scootaloo.”
She pushed away and shot a firm glare at the mare. “Yes, it is! Everything is my fault, because I’m not good enough to stop it. I can fly now, I should be there when bad things happen, I should be able to help. If I can’t, then why...” She sobbed, unable to even finish her sentence.
Rainbow Dash let the filly calm down for a moment. “What’s the point of being able to fly in the first place?”
“Yes,” Scootaloo croaked, wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash, I didn’t mean to yell. But I’m so angry and I can’t think.”
“Yeah, that happens. Look, I get that you feel bad because you weren’t there for your dad, but come on, what were you gonna do? Fly all the way across Equestria to go beat up the lizard that spat on him? Even I’m not that dumb.”
“No, but what about all the other stuff?”
“That’s just part of being a pegasus pony. Once you can fly, once you get some speed, you’re usually the first to step in when something happens. You’re usually the first to see it, too, from up high. But even the fastest pegasi can’t be in more than one place at a time. If something bad happens, it’s not your fault just because you weren’t there. You can’t take responsibility for every disaster you couldn’t fly to, and you can’t blame yourself if you do your best and fail, especially if that best is only a couple of days old. You’re still only a little pony. It’s not your responsibility, okay? Not for a couple more years, at least.”
“So I shouldn’t try at all anymore?”
“No, you should try to be the best flyer you can be, because you want to be. Do your best when your best can help. Use your head, call for help if nopony else is stepping in, and point to ponies and tell them you need them to help, because otherwise they’ll just stand there like they’re watching a dance number or something.” Rainbow rolled her eyes, speaking from experience. “Did anypony else even help you?”
Scootaloo thought for a moment, then chuckled. “No, nopony did. I did that on my own.”
“There you go. Don't get me wrong, I’m proud of you for trying. A lot of ponies wouldn't have, when they should. But you have to be careful with that kind of thing. If you try to save someone, and you get in trouble, then you need saving, too. That just makes it worse, for everypony. So don’t worry about being faster or stronger, just try to be smarter about it next time.”
The girl went quiet for a bit. Then she gulped, and bit her lip. “Do you promise you can teach me how to fly? For real? You know, all of it?”
“I promise. In fact, if you’re really that hung up about rescue flying, I’ll ask around to see if anypony’s teaching first aid, or survival training. That'll help a lot more, teach you what to do after you get somepony out of trouble. You just keep working on building yourself up, and it’ll be fine. But I do have one condition.”
“What’s that?” The filly wiped her nose, idly blinking away the last few tears in her eyes.
“You don’t go into flight practice thinking you’re responsible for the whole kingdom. I mean it, don’t. I’m not gonna stop you from trying to be a hero, but it’s either flight practice with me or the Royal Guard with Twilight. I’ll get you one or the other, your choice.”
“I guess, when you put it like that, that’s not much of a choice, huh?”
“Thought so. Now go and get cleaned up already. Missus Cake told Pinkie Pie about what happened, and there’s a little party for ya in Sugarcube Corner. I think Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are gonna want to know why you kept it a secret.”
“I just wanted to make sure I could fly right, you know? I didn’t want to be flying and… not have it make a difference.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a good excuse. You tell them that, they’ll buy it.”
Scootaloo stopped in front of the bathroom door. “Hey, Rainbow Dash?”
“What?”
“Thanks for the peptalk.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“And thanks for not getting too sappy.” She gagged. “I hate all that mushy stuff.”
“You and me both, kid. You and me both.”
She stepped inside and grabbed some soap. Then the horror of what transpired finally sunk in.
“That party’s gonna be a sap-fest, isn’t it?”
“Yup,” Rainbow called out. “You’re gonna get mobbed and awwed for the next couple of weeks. Get used to it.”