Prologue: The Package

Dear Velvet Remedy,

I hope this package finds you well. I doubt that you know of me, except perhaps as one of the countless rumors that echo across the land, and frankly I have no desire to be identified. Please understand, it’s not because I am a wanted mare or anything. I simply do not feel my activities and talents are particularly noteworthy. I am aware of how busy you are these days, and I do not wish for you to concern yourself over somepony as insignificant as me.

But still, I feel it is my responsibility to send you this package. It’s not for my sake, or for yours. I am sending it because I have learned that right now there is a pony whom I greatly admire under your care. A pony who is recovering from agony so great I cannot begin to imagine it. I am certain you know to whom I am referring.

While I am confident that you and the doctors working with you are up to the task, I would like to offer my assistance with the healing process. Within this package is knowledge that I hope will prove beneficial to her. I am not a psychologist, so I must admit I have no idea whether the contents will actually help in her recovery. As such, I will trust your judgement as to whether or not this gift will be of any use and to utilize it appropriately.

Assuming this package arrives safely (not that I doubt miss Ditzy Doo’s abilities), you will find six memory orbs and a series of letters inside. These memories are my own, but while I wrote the letters myself, I was simply writing what I was dictated, as the ponies who they are actually from were incapable of writing their own.

I should warn you that I am a pony of unique talents, and my memories and letters contain things that some would deem impossible. To be honest, I have not yet determined if I truly posses the unnatural abilities I seem to, or if I am merely suffering from powerful hallucinations. I’ve never taken any chems, so I can at least say they’re not the result of such things.

But whether my memories are true or not, I am hopeful they will prove useful. What matters is if they can help your current patient recover. I must request that you at least view them and consider whether they will, in some way, aid her. Again, I will trust your knowledge and better understanding of the situation towards making this decision.

Still, the story of your friend, the Stable Dweller, appears to confirm that the things I see are genuine. It could just be a long series of coincidences, but we both know how easily the line between impossible and improbable is crossed these days. I never dreamed I would see the world become green again. You and your friends have been so inspirational to me that I feel a tad arrogant sending this to you. I’m certain you receive many such letters every day.

But again, I have no desire to be recognized. My actions and endeavors shall leave little to no mark on the world today, nor shall I be long remembered for them. I am content knowing that I have done good things that nopony else could, even if they are seemingly inconsequential. While I’m certain that the contents of the orbs and letters will leave you with many questions, I must insist that you let me fade into obscurity once my delivery is no longer useful. Besides, everything I could ever offer you or the world as a whole is already contained within this package.

Regardless of whether you deem my memories useful or a waste of your time, I wish you the best of luck with your continued efforts to not only save that certain pony, but make the Equestrian Wasteland a better place.

-Silent Cry

Chapter 1: Inaction

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“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”
- Sydney J. Harris

The first memory orb came to focus on a pony walking down a muddy road, the faint glow of the hidden sun nearly set in the distance. The host was a tan mare of fairly unremarkable build. She was neither powerful nor frail, neither graceful nor clumsy, and judging from the lightness of her steps, fairly young. She was wearing a black cloak, which hid her cutie mark from her gaze. Presumably, this was the pony known as Silent Cry.

Her vision sweep across the wasteland around her, revealing rolling hills of dirt, dead grass, and the pink silhouette of Canterlot in the distance, still on its mountain perch. Rain was starting to fall, so one could assume she was looking for shelter for the evening.

After a moment, the pony’s gaze settled on a small ruined diner not far off. It was unassuming, but the lack of mutilated corpses hanging outside suggested it was not currently occupied by raiders. After a quick trot over, Silent Cry peaked into the building through a window, then let out a sigh of relief as not only was the building empty, but its roof was intact.

After entering and shaking off a few drops from her cloak, she took in her surroundings. It was apparent scavengers had long since striped the place bare. The cash register was empty, the safe under it was open, and a medical box on the wall was missing its lid. Aside from a few dirty bottles and rusted cans, there was nothing there. There was, however, a closed door on one of the back walls.

Silent Cry walked over, opened the door, and gave a small gasp.

There, sitting on a ruined chair in the owner’s bedroom, was Rainbow Dash.

Or at least something that looked a great deal like the Ministry Mare. In truth, the blue figure was rather difficult to make out despite being only half a room away from Silent Cry. It was transparent, blurry, and seemed to emit a bright glow that its surroundings didn’t reflect. But there was no mistaking the bolt-shaped mark on its flanks or its distinctive mane.

Was it a magical illusion? A recorded projection? Or maybe it was some kind of life-sized glow in the dark Rainbow Dash plush toy? There had been rumors of crazier treasures found in the Equestrian Wasteland...

But then the figure moved, and turned towards Silent Cry. It stared for a moment, before raising an eyebrow.

“Huh. Wasn’t expecting company tonight,” it said, its voice an echoing yet accurate match for the former Bearer of Loyalty.

Silent Cry didn’t move for a moment, but then spoke.

"Neither... neither did I,” she said, her voice hesitant.

The Rainbow Dash-like being’s eyes opened in surprise. It pointed a hoof toward Silent Cry, but then gave a chuckle and lowered it.

“Well what do you know. You’re real. Guess that means I owe Pinkie another round,” it said with a shake of its head.

Silent Cry raised an eyebrow.

"I’m... real?” she asked.

“Well, yeah. You hear all kind of rumors in the Wasteland. I just figured the one about the pony who can talk to ghosts was too nice to be true. Yet, here you are, talking to a pony over a hundred and fifty years dead,” said Rainbow with a shrug.

Silent Cry blinked in surprise.

“There are rumors about me? I’ve only been traveling for a few days and I haven’t told anypony about it,” she muttered.

“Nopony still alive that is. News travels fast among the dead too, you know,” Rainbow explained.

“Oh. I hadn’t considered that,” mumbled Silent Cry.

The two just stood there for a moment, sizing each other up.

“So, is this the part where you ask me why I’m not at peace yet?” asked Rainbow.

Silent Cry tilted her head.

“Why would I do that? Besides the fact that it’s none of my business, we both know the answer. A pony can only become a ghost if their soul is pure enough to ascend to paradise, but they are still weighed down by earthy matters,” she said.

“Yeah, and what are the only things that can weigh down a soul like that?” asked Rainbow with a roll of her eyes.

“Love, and regret,” answered Silent Cry.

“Exactly. And you want to know my sob story because that’s what the ghost-whisperer does. She listens to your problems, talks you through them, and helps you go to your eternal rest,” stated Rainbow.

Silent Cry shook her head in disbelief.

“I only did that for one soul, and all I did was listen to him speak. I’m not some ‘ghost-whisperer.’ I can’t just make ponies accept their mistakes. I’m just a normal pony who happens to be able to talk to the dead, if you’re even real. And really, what could I offer you that your friends and other lost souls cannot?” she asked.

Rainbow shrugged.

“I dunno, but you can’t pretend you’re nothing special. Yeah, you’ve only sent one pony to sleep, but you’ve made every ghost you’ve talked to feel a little better about themselves. ‘The living pony bringing peace to the dead,’ and all that. You’ve gotten an impressive reputation for only a few days of wandering,” said Rainbow.

Silent Cry shook her head again, but anyone viewing the memory orb would feel the light warmth of a blush.

Their conversation paused for a moment while Silent Cry got a small fire going. The two ponies, one who might not actually exist, rested around it. They just sat there for a moment, waiting for the other to speak.

“Well... I still don’t think I can offer anything, but I guess if you want to talk to me you can start with how you died,” said Silent Cry.

“You want me to start with the end of my story?” asked Rainbow in an amused tone.

“Well, you can hardly start at the beginning. To my knowledge most ghosts find peace with their childhood mistakes long before they die,” explained Silent Cry.

Rainbow let out a sigh.

“Fair enough, but it’s kind of hard to tell how you died if you don’t know,” said Rainbow.

“You don’t know how you died?” asked Silent Cry in surprise.

“Not really, though I could give you a long list of possibilities. I was choking on Canterlot's pink cloud, I was fighting an old friend, and at some point I think I got my hooves on a bottle of whiskey and drank it to dull the pain in a moment of desperation-induced brilliance. Next thing I know, I’m dead. Oh, and my maimed and poisoned body was in a pool of radioactive waste when I woke up in the afterlife too. So no, I don’t know what finished me off. Personally, I’d like to think it was my liver. Too many years of drinking hard cider caught up with me at the worst possible time,” said Rainbow.

“Really? The most awesome pony in Equestria’s history believes she died from alcohol poisoning?” asked Silent Cry with a soft giggle.

Rainbow gave her a glare.

“Awesome? What do you know about me, aside from what you see on the posters? Do you know anything about the mare behind that self-assured mask?” demanded Rainbow.

Silent Cry paused for a moment, then answered.

“Well, not personally, no. I know you were one of the six Ministry Mares during the Great War. I know you were the head of the Ministry of Awesome. I know that the Enclave considers you a traitor. And I heard from a rather chatty ghost that you were the only Ministry Mare to actually fight on the front lines,” said Silent Cry.

“Then you already know why I haven’t considered myself awesome since I died. No, that’s wrong. I haven’t considered myself awesome since the bombs dropped. Hay, everything I did that could really be called awesome happened before the war. I don’t care what my posters say. There’s nothing awesome about what I did on the front lines,” said Rainbow.

Silent Cry didn’t say anything. She only gestured for Rainbow to continue.

“There’s nothing awesome about anything that pushes living beings to kill each other. I hated the war just as much as anypony else. Sure, while I was alive I could tell myself that it was cool how skilled a soldier I was. But no, it wasn’t. The ghosts of everyone I killed still haunt me, and few still do it literally. So no, I am not awesome. I probably deserved to die from something as stupid as alcohol poisoning,” said Rainbow.

Silent Cry remained silent for a moment, pondering Rainbow’s words, before answering.

“Yes, but that what made you a hero. We both know soldiers don’t fight to kill their enemies. They fight because they want to protect their homes and loved ones. You, and every other soldier who fought with you, willingly let yourself be torn apart, physically and spiritually, so that others could live in peace. You may regret and mourn the lives you took, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be remembered for your sacrifice.”

“Sacrifice? For what? We didn’t even win! Maybe that was what we were fighting for, but in the end we all threw ourselves into the meatgrinder just for a chance to end up dying a few years before everypony else. Dying for a nation that doesn't exist anymore,” said Rainbow, raising her voice.

“You didn’t know that at the time. You truly intended to be one of the few to suffer for the safety of the many,” stated Silent Cry.

“Intended? Oh, well that changes everything! Yep, who cares how many died because of me as long as I had good intentions! What does it matter how many poor decisions I made as long as it was for good intentions! And nopony could ever hate us for blow up the world because, hey, we had good intentions when we fucking blew it up!” yelled Rainbow, her tone downright venomous.

“It’s not that simple...” said Silent Cry, but Rainbow keep going.

“Yes, it fucking is! I fucked up! We all fucked up! And now everything is fucking dead! Oh, wait, no, not everything. Some poor saps ended up fucking worse than dead! And the few ponies still alive get to look out at the fucking wasteland every day and think, ‘wow, what a shitty place we call home!’ Why? Because of how badly we fucked things up!” Rainbow screamed.

“If your deeds were so terrible, so unforgivable, then why are you destined to ascend to paradise?” asked Silent Cry, her calm words breaking through Rainbow’s anger.

Rainbow took a few deep breaths, despite not having lungs, before she calmed down.

“I... I figured it was because I helped save the world a few times before it all went to Tartarus. Probably earned myself a guaranteed spot in whatever’s beyond the sleep for that. Still doesn’t change how badly I fucked up, and that’s the part of my life that’s keeping me here,” Rainbow replied.

Silent Cry let out a sigh, and turned away. One could only guess what she was thinking. For a while, the two of them just sat there listening to the fire crackle and the rain pour outside. Finally, Silent Cry spoke.

“And... what exactly did you do?” she asked.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow.

“Really? You really can’t see what I did wrong?” she deadpanned, waving a hoof at the destruction surrounding them.

“Did you launch the megaspells that destroyed Equestria?” asked Silent Cry.

“What? No! Of course not!” Rainbow snapped.

“Then the wasteland isn’t what you, as you put it, fucked up. I asked what you regret, not what resulted because of your mistakes. You did not cause the apocalypse by yourself. You were just a single player among many. It was all of you making poor decisions that resulted in the end of the world. All I want to know is what role you played in these mistakes that brings you such self-loathing,” said Silent Cry.

Rainbow paused at Silent Cry’s words. She turned away for a moment, before answering in a soft tone.

“I get what you’re saying. I know I can’t shoulder all the blame. It’d be so much easier if I could or, better yet, if there was some great evil thing I could point a hoof towards and say ‘it’s all your fault,’ But I can’t. No one can. I could blame the war, but that was the result of perfectly normal ponies and zebras making less than perfect mistakes, nothing more,” admitted Rainbow.

Rainbow let out a sigh. Silent Cry waited.

“It’s been almost a hundred and fifty years since I died. One hundred and fifty years of seeing how badly me, my friends, and everyone else involved messed up. One hundred and fifty years of wondering what I could have done better and hating myself for not doing so. It really hurts, you know? Knowing that for all the good you did in your life, all that’s left for the world to see is the result of your biggest failure,” said Rainbow.

“And what was your biggest failure?” asked Silent Cry.

Rainbow was silent for a minute, but then began speaking in a subdued manner.

“At first, I thought it was what I did on the war front. I still feel horrible about it, you know? But after a lot of self-kicking and arguing, most of the ghosts from the frontlines forgave each other. Ponies, zebras, we were all thinking individuals who gave our lives in the line of duty to nations that no longer mattered. It’s funny, how the loss of our homelands and mortal bodies made us more willing to make peace with each other, and ourselves, for the horrible things we were doing. Well, for most of us. I still have a zebra or two cursing my name.”

“My second thought was that my greatest regret was the creation of the Enclave, but again no. After some post-animate investigation, I learned that ponies like them have always been around. They were just usually too terrified of the Princesses to try anything. The war was just an opportunity for that particular group to come together, and my efforts to push more Pegasi into the war was the spark that got them really going, but they likely would have made their move anyway once Cloudsdale was destroyed. I was just fuel on the already burning fire.”

“Then I looked at something more personal. I regret what I did to my friends. I regret pushing them away to focus on the war. Especially Fluttershy. I... I don’t think I ever wholeheartedly apologized for calling her a traitor. But those kind of regrets are easy to get over in the afterlife. After all, when you’ve got nothing better to do except watch the parasprites mutate, it’s a lot easier to spill your guts to your friends. And spill we did. If I knew half of the shit Pinkie was dealing with while she was alive...”

Rainbow let out another sigh.

“Nevermind, the point is that we worked it out between us. So, even if it was arguably my biggest mistake, that’s not my biggest regret either. For a while, I just didn’t know. I did some serious soul searching, looking at what I did and trying to figure out what I did wrong. But, then, one day it came to me. My biggest regret isn’t what I did. My biggest regret is what I didn’t do.”

“My biggest regret was that I did nothing to end the war,” admitted Rainbow.

Silent Cry tilted her head.

“Um, didn’t we establish that you were fighting...” she started, but Rainbow shook her head.

“See, that’s the thing. I was fighting to WIN the war. I never tried to END it,” explained Rainbow.

Silent Cry didn’t respond, but her confused expression must have prompted Rainbow to elaborate.

“From the moment the war started, I was convinced that there was only one way to end the fighting: the hard way. Peace talks? Surrender? Forget it. Either we were going to crush them, or they were going to crush us. End of story. So I wanted to make sure that no matter what, we were on the winning side,” explained Rainbow Dash.

“So did everypony else at the time, I imagine,” said Silent Cry.

“You’d think that, but that’s not quite true. Everypony wanted to win the war, but I was the only one who cared about... Wait, no. That came out wrong... Ugh. How do I say this in a way that makes sense?” said Rainbow.

Rainbow hemmed and hawed for a moment, before nodding.

“Ok, let me it put it like this: As the war dragged on, several ponies became more interested in making sure Equestria turned out alright instead of on top. It stopped being about the victory, and more about ensuring a better tomorrow. Or at least that there was a tomorrow. At the time, I thought it was a huge waste of money and war resources to try building shelters or secret projects to fix the world. I was the only one of my friends who did. Every single one of them was trying to find ways to make the war less devastating to Equestria instead of just ensuring we actually won.”

“Twilight was more interested in ensuring Equestria would survive. Hay, some of her big projects were more for saving Equestria than beating the zebras. Pinkie only wanted to keep ponies safe and happy. Applejack just wanted to keep Equestria’s troops alive, not make them more deadly. Fluttershy... well, she definitely cared more about ending the fighting then whether Equestria won. Even Rarity, who hated her job, was always looking for ways to ensure that what she was censoring wasn’t completely destroyed.”

“All of them tried to use their Ministries to help Equestria. None of them succeed, but at least they tried. I didn’t. You know what the one thing I actually did with my Ministry was, aside from fighting the war from another front? It was a project to get more troops on the front lines. Not even better troops or special ones, just more. Because all I was thinking about was how to win. So what if more ponies died? So what if more pegasi felt that they should just abandon Equestria? It would be worth it in the end if we won, right? You can see how well that turned out.”

“I had a chance to do something. I was one of the few ponies with the power to actually could do something about the war. Five of those ponies at least TRIED to make things better in some small way. I never did. I never stopped to think about alternatives to just fighting harder. I never stopped, looked in the mirror, and asked myself if the victory would be worth the cost. The Ministry of Awesome isn’t the only reason Equestria was destroyed, but I know it was definitely one of the things that could have prevented it.”

“So that’s my biggest regret. I had a decade to try and find something to do with my Ministry, something that would help ensure Equestria survived, but I never did. All I ever amounted to was being another cog in the war machine,” finished Rainbow.

The two ponies fell silent once again. Silent Cry’s gaze turned toward the floor in thought.

“What was that project of yours?” she finally asked.

“The Single Pegasus Project. It was supposed to free pegasi from having to manage the weather. Not because I was trying to make their lives easier or anything. It was just going to get them off their clouds and onto the front lines. Course, the project was finished right before the bombs dropped, so it didn’t amount to anything anyway. At least the Enclave hasn’t gotten their hooves on the central hub yet. They have enough power over the sky these days as is,” explained Rainbow.

“Wait, the Enclave doesn’t have control of the whole thing?” asked Silent Cry.

“No, just a bunch of the individual towers. Why do you ask?” asked Rainbow.

“Well, if this project of yours was designed to control the weather, couldn’t somepony use it to break up the cloud wall?” suggested Silent Cry.

Rainbow just gave a bitter chuckle and shook her head.

“Nah, there’s no way that’s going to happen. Somepony got inside the project hub the day the bombs dropped and activated the security system. It has a magic barrier designed so that nopony except a select few registered into the system can enter. And there’s nopony still alive on that list who could. So no, it’s not possible to use it. Would be awesome if somepony found a way inside who doesn’t give a fuck about the Enclave, but it’s not going to happen,” explained Rainbow.

“And the pony who got inside?” asked Silent Cry.

“Died to radiation poisoning. Never even got the chance to activate the SPP.” concluded Rainbow.

“But...” started Silent Cry.

“Look, I get what you’re trying to say. Yes, I want to hope that somehow my one project will help save the world, but it won’t. And even if by some miracle it did, I’m still not going to sleep anytime soon. There’s more than regret dragging me down,” said Rainbow.

“More than regret? But I’m fairly certain you were single, and love can only bind a soul if...” Silent Cry gave a gasp.

“You mean some of the Ministry Mares are still alive!?” she exclaimed.

“That depends on your definition of alive. They’re not ghouls. They’re in far worse shape than that. Hell, I’m genuinely hoping somepony goes and kills them so that they can stop suffering. And no, I’m not telling you where they are because they’re in places too dangerous for anypony to go, let alone a young wanderer with almost no combat experience,” explained Rainbow.

"I see...” said Silent Cry.

Silence filled the building once again.

“Still...” mumbled Rainbow.

Silent Cry’s ears perked up.

“There’s Pinkie’s ace. If she does show up, then maybe...”

“Pinkie’s ace?” asked Silent Cry.

Rainbow shook her head.

“Eh, some little spark of hope that a friend of mine is still clinging to. I mean, I believe her and all. Hay, helping her set things up was part of the reason I died. But after a hundred and fifty years I think whoever she’s waiting for is long gone. Besides, even if this ‘Lightbringer’ does arrive, there’s no way a single pony is going to fix everything,” she said.

“Unless she finds a secret project or two that gives her a chance,” suggested Silent Cry.

Rainbow smirked.

“Are you sure you’re not a shrink? You're sounding an awful lot like one the way you keep pushing me to have some hope,” she said.

Silent Cry blushed again.

“Still, doctor or not, I gotta admit talking with you is making me feel a little better. There’s just something about talking to a pony that’s still alive that makes the conversation more... real, I guess, or something stupid like that,” admitted Rainbow.

“I’m... uh... glad I could help?” Silent Cry said uncertainly.

Rainbow Dash gave a surprisingly sincere smile.

“I know this might not sound like much coming from a pony who had a bit of an ego problem while she was alive and self-worth issues now, but you seriously need to have a little more confidence in yourself. Yeah, you’re not a mind doctor, but who says that means you can’t help in your own special way? In fact, I’d bet that your cutie mark has something to do with the minds of ponies,” she said.

Silent Cry gripped her cloak.

“I’d... rather not talk about it,” she said.

Rainbow rolled her eyes.

“Just because your parents, or somepony else, didn’t like your talent doesn’t mean you should be ashamed of it,” she said.

“I’m not ashamed of my mark, I’m just less than eager to share what it is,” explained Silent Cry.

Rainbow shrugged.

“Alright, but my point stands. Even if you don’t consider yourself a healer, you can still help ponies out,”She said.

Silent Cry stared into the fire for a minute before sighing.

“I suppose I could try. I don’t exactly have a clear goal at the moment,” She admitted.

“That’s the spirit... Pun not intended. Anyway, it was nice chatting with you, but I should probably go. I’m trying to shake one of those zebra wackos I mentioned earlier, and I don’t think you’d appreciate the creep yelling at me when you’re resting. See you around, ghost whisperer,” said Rainbow Dash as she faded through a wall.

“Ghost whisperer, huh?” mumbled Silent Cry.

The memory faded away.

Chapter 2: Dismissal

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“The knowledge that makes us cherish innocence makes innocence unattainable.”
- Irving Howe

The second memory orb revealed Silent Cry making her way through the ruins of some unidentified building. Her body moved with much more confidence and power as she climbed over rubble, and out of the corner of her eye one could see her legs had some serious muscle on them now. This is not the walk of a young mare, but rather of one in her prime.

She was also following another ghost. This one’s identity was less clear, other than the fact it was a blue coated buck.

“Are you certain this will bring you peace?” she asked in a tone that suggested she had asked the same thing numerous times.

“Beyond a doubt. I had no family to speak of, and my friends have all gone to their rest. All that remains is... *yawn*... is ensuring that the contents of my vault are not lost forever,” said the ghost.

Silent Cry shook her head.

“I have never heard of material items being a source of unrest,” she said.

“Oh, it’s not the material stuff that concerns me. Money and magazines mean little to the dead and I... *yawn*... I am no exception. There is, however, an item of value in the vault far more important than such things. I’m certain you will agree when you see it for... *yawn*... for yourself," assured the ghost.

“At the rate you’re yawning, I’d wager you’re on the brink of falling asleep before we get there,” said Silent Cry with a giggle.

“Doubtful, as we have arrived. The vault is under the debris over there,” said the ghost as the pointed his hoof.

Silent Cry followed his directions, and after pushing aside some stones she found the vault in question.

“Twenty-seven, eighteen, forty-two,” supplied the ghost.

A few turns of the dial later, the vault opened with a creak.

“There. Are you satisfied?” asked Silent Cry.

The ghost responded with another yawn.

“I believe so my... *yawn*... my dear. I feel so tired now. *yawn,* Thank you. I shall see... *yawn*... see you in the next world, I... I sup..." the ghost’s voice left him as, with a final yawn, he laid down and closed his eyes.

A moment later, he faded away.

Silent Cry gave a smile.

“Another day, another soul. Plus, I got a tip this time,” she said to herself as she looked into the vault.

There were a few bags of pre-war money, a small bowling trophy, and a several magazines of... suggestive material.

“Well, they’re sure to sell for a few caps at least,” mumbled Silent Cry as she took her “prizes.”

But as she did so, she noticed something in the back of the vault. It was a small statuette of a certain white mare.

“What the... how in Tartarus did that guy get one of these?!” exclaimed Silent Cry.

“There is a funny story behind that, actually. Amazing what somepony can misplace, isn’t it?” came a very soft voice.

Silent Cry looked around in confusion, then turned to focus on the figurine.

It was shining with the same non-reflective glow of the dead.

“Oh my,” whispered Silent Cry.

She hesitantly reached out and grabbed the statue. As she did, she noticed a second small white figure in the vault. This one however, was moving.

“Rarity, Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Image, I presume?” asked Silent Cry.

The ghost of Rarity, only slightly larger than the statuette in Silent Cry’s hooves, gave a courteous bow.

“Indeed. I have heard a great deal about you from my friends. It is a honor to be able to speak with you, ghost whisperer,” said Rarity, her voice a soft whisper.

Silent Cry rolled her eyes.

“I know the title’s stuck, but I’m hardly anypony ‘honorable.’ I’m just another pony in the wastes. One who happens to help lost souls find peace in her free time,” she said.

Rarity giggled.

“Oh yes. You’re healing deeds are simply a hobby you’ve been doing for almost a decade now. Heaven forbid anypony suspect you of taking it seriously,” she jested.

Silent Cry giggled herself.

“Alright, so maybe it's more than a hobby. In the wastes you have to find something to strive for to keep getting up in the morning, and helping the dead find peace is mine. Though I have to ask, why is your soul in the vault of a business pony I doubt you ever met?” she asked.

“Well, it’s not so much that my soul is in the vault as it is tied to my statuette,” answered Rarity.

Silent Cry raised an eyebrow.

“I know these things are rare, but I don’t think something being in your image can bind a soul like that,” she said.

“Yes, well, it’s not that simple. Have you ever heard of a pony who’s soul was cut into multiple parts?” asked Rarity.

Silent Cry’s eyes widened in shock and horror.

“That was you?! I thought those were only rumors! To deliberately have your soul torn apart like that... I can’t imagine how painful it was. And you did it anyway, for the sake of your friends if the rumors really are true. Geez... Your generousity far surpases anything I will ever do in my lifetime,” said Silent Cry.

Rarity sighed, and levitated up to meet Silent Cry at eye level.

“Yes, my generosity is well know among the deceased. Indeed, even my death was the result of my giving to others. Yet, for all that, I bear the guilt of failure just as heavily as the rest of my friends,” Rarity admitted.

Silent Cry looked around before turning back to Rarity.

“Would you care to talk about it? I don’t believe there is anything or anyone nearby to disturb us, and it’s kind of what I do,” suggested Silent Cry.

Rarity gave a sad smile.

“I suppose. Far be it for me to deny the wishes of the ghost whisperer,” she said.

“I’m not wishing for it. I’m not going to force you to speak if you don’t want to,” said Silent Cry.

“I see no reason not to,” admitted Rarity.

Silent Cry walked to a nearby room, Statuette still in hoof, and sat down on a chair inside that was more or less still intact.

“Where to begin? I assume you know of my actions during the war?” asked Rarity.

“Mostly from second and third hoof accounts. Your Ministry was in charge of ensuring that the citizens of Equestria supported the war effort,” said Silent Cry.

“Propaganda and censorship, darling. Call it what it was,” chided Rarity.

“Sorry, but after hearing from so many sources about how you arranged to preserve the material you were censoring whenever possible, I find it hard to call it such. When I hear censorship, I think of the Enclave and the lies it feeds to its subjects: done with the intent of destroying the truth, rather than simply removing it from the public's mindset for a time,” explained Silent Cry.

“Your admiration is appreciated, but misplaced. Out of all of the Ministry Mares, I deserve your respect the least,” said Rarity.

Silent Cry raised an eyebrow.

“I know your Ministry was responsible for keeping the war going as long as it did, but of all the Ministry Mares I was under the impression that you would have the least to regret. After all, you were actively fighting against what your own Ministry was doing to an extent,” admitted Silent Cry.

Rarity sighed.

“Perhaps, but it also means I am the one whose actions were the most deplorable. As I’m sure you are aware, there is far more to guilt and responsibility than simply the actions one has taken. Awareness of how wrong the action is plays a large factor as well,” said Rarity.

Silent Cry nodded in agreement.

“When I first became the Ministry Mare, I was ecstatic. I hated the war, and as it had dragged on I had grown fearful that it would deliver terrible scars not only on our citizens, but on the very soul of our nation. I now had a chance to make a difference. To ensure that the beauty of Equestria would not be consumed in the flames of war. And with my talents, I decided that I would do so though images and appearances. Hence, the Ministry of Image.”

“At first I figured it would amount to several posters, some inspirational lyrics, and maybe a public appearance or two to motivate ponies to support the cause. I’d paint the war as something worthy and honorable for a year or two, and then once it was over I’d focus my new power on fixing everything back up to the way it had been before the whole mess. But as you know, it didn’t end that quickly. I found myself losing grasp on ponies as the war dragged on.”

“It became apparent I would have to do more to keep the war going. I couldn’t just let it end like that. Everything we had sacrificed in this war would have been for nothing. So, with much regret, I turned to censoring. Oh, I told myself it was just going to be little white lies. It it would only only be for the few months left in the war. As soon as it was over, I would expose it all for the horrible lying propaganda that it was. But it never ended.”

“I hid news of minor defeats and Zebra advances. I confiscated books and knowledge that could result in zebra sympathizers. I gave every waking hour of my time coming up with new ways to inspire ponies as the old ones were ignored. And I hated every moment of it. Every day I arrived at my office miserable, and left for home feeling worse. And it just kept going. I had to start burning books there was so much I had to hide. Thank goodness Twilight hated the destruction of books as much as I and arranged to save as many as she could. Although, if she hadn’t I might have been forced to outright refuse to continue what I was doing.”

“It is so easy for the desperate to excuse their actions. For the greater good, because it has to be done, and so on. All of us were guilty of clinging to such things. All the lines we were crossing, all the horrors we were unleashing, all of it was necessary because of the war. That stupid, stupid war. All of us realized it, but we pressed on all the same, because we convinced ourselves we had no choice.”

“But that’s not all I regret. Oh no. The censorship was just my careless hooves’ contribution to the war. While we all hated our actions, I was the only one who realized that I was likely causing more harm than good, and I continued to do it all the same,” said Rarity.

The room was quiet for a moment, before Silent Cry spoke up.

“I think I understand what you're saying. All your friends found it easier to cling to those excuses because they found something about their work that they genuinely believed in. Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie were doing what they did best. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were giving everything they had. And Fluttershy...” Silent Cry trailed off.

“Precisely. All of us knew we were making mistakes, even if we chose not to acknowledge it, but I was the only who realized just how much harm I was causing. I saw how I was forcing a war-weary nation to continue fighting. I saw how ponies began to whisper about corruption in our government because of my censorship. I noticed it all, but I would not be deterred. Too much had been put into the war for me to stop. That I saw the horrors I was causing, yet continued to do them all the same, makes me the most monstrous of all the Ministry Mares.” said Rarity.

“But that doesn’t sound fair. Do you really believe that your friends were unable to see the harm they were causing? That you were the only one to recognize what effect your actions were having on the war? What makes you think that was the case?” asked Silent Cry.

“Because I was the only one who recognized while I was still alive that we shouldn’t have let ourselves drift so far apart,” said Rarity.

Silent Cry blinked in surprise.

“The Ministries were a mistake. There is not a pony alive or dead who cannot see that now. While they enabled us to use our talents to their fullest for the war, our individual talents were not what was needed. Whenever I look back at not only my own failures, but those of my friends as well, it brings me such shame to acknowledge how many of our mistakes we could have avoided if we had simply stuck together.”

“Would I have needed to resort for censorship if I had Pinkie helping my work be more inspiring? Would Twilight have considered creating more Alicorns if she had the reassurance of her friends by her side? Would Pinkie have turned to drugs if Twilight had been there to help organize her information? Would Applejack have trusted her Ministry ponies so blindly if I was there to offer my business sense? And would Fluttershy have done what she did if even one of us had been there to remind her that the zebras were just as committed to the war as we were?”

“My greatest regret is that I realized what the war was doing to our friendship, yet I didn’t try to pull us back together,” confessed Rarity.

“But you did try,” objected Silent Cry, gesturing toward the statue in her hooves.

“Yes, I arranged a series of mementos to remind everypony why we were friends. But it wasn’t enough. It was far too little, too late. In the end, our commitment to our Ministries took priority over our friendship. I saw what had to be done, but I dismissed it as something that could wait until the war was over for too long, and when I finally acted it no longer mattered. If I had just put more effort into pulling us back together sooner instead of picking poster colors, Equestria might still be standing,” said Rarity.

Silent Cry let out a sigh and looked down at the tiny figure in front of her.

Be Unwavering

...

“You know, I think you’ve missed the point of what I was saying,” said Silent Cry.

“Oh?” questioned Rarity in surprise.

“Yes, you failed. But how many ponies who had a hoof in the end of the war can say they realized what had to be done, and then tried to make things better? You said it yourself: responsibility is more than just the actions taken. You had your very soul torn apart in an attempt to reignite your friendship with your friends. If that can’t be considered giving everything you have to try to fix things, then the virtue of generosity is utterly unobtainable,” declared Silent Cry.

Rarity blinked. Her expression jumped through various shades of surprise, realization, and remorse. Then she giggled.

“I can’t make you find peace with your mistakes. Only you can do that. All I can do is remind you that a pony’s worth is not decided by a single choice. It might be your biggest mistake, but it’s not the decision that defines you as a pony, and your destiny in paradise proves it,” said Silent Cry.

Rarity smiled.

“You know, I believe Rainbow Dash was right about you. When you two meet all those years ago, you had promise. But now you really do have the marking of a skilled psychiatrist,” she said.

Silent Cry rolled her eyes.

“Oh please. Being a problem solver for a decade doesn’t make you a doctor,” said Silent Cry.

“It certainly makes you more than what your home claimed you would amount to. Word has gotten around about your unfortunate upbringing, you know. You possess far more talent than you give yourself credit for,” chided Rarity.

Silent Cry sighed.

“I thought I made it clear to the dead by now I don’t want to talk about my childhood,” she grumbled.

“I can’t make you find peace with your life. Only you can do that. All I can do is remind you that a pony’s worth is not decided by how they got their cutie mark,” Rarity echoed.

Silent Cry snorted and tugged at her cloak, but refused to comment.

“At any rate, I enjoyed our conversation. But now comes the question of what you will do with my statue. The magic that binds my soul to it is not something that can be easily dispelled,” said Rarity.

Silent Cry sighed.

“I figured as much. Am I right to assume from your size that your soul isn’t strong enough to freely wander the wastes?” asked Silent Cry.

“Sadly, no. While the part of my soul that was never bound in a soul jar is free, it can not venture far from my statuettes. I’ve had to rely on my friends to keep up with recent events that I am unable to witness myself,” sighed Rarity.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Silent Cry.

“Oh, it’s not all bad. I’ve since discovered a way to lend a small amount of my strength to those who hold me in their hooves. It’s not much, but if my power can help the ponies who are striving to fix the world in some small way, I will gladly remain bound to the mortal realm as I am for as long as I must,” said Rarity.

“I see. Your own way of repenting for your misdeeds?” asked Silent Cry.

“Precisely. I will find my peace when the time is right. But what of you? Would you care for my assistance?” asked Rarity.

Silent Cry sighed.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested, but I don’t think I should. I’ve survived these last eleven years in the Equestrian Wasteland because my abilities enable me to avoid problems. Meanwhile, I hear stories on the radio every day about heroes who wander the wastes, daring to defy everything wrong with the world. They would get far more out of this gift than me,” she said.

“A noble gesture, except for the fact that you have no way of ensuring my figurine arrives into the possession of one such pony,” Rarity pointed out.

“Maybe so, but it’s not as if your power is offered to anypony who picks one up. I imagine you can suppress it from ponies who inflict pain and suffering on others in the wasteland. And as long as there’s a chance that somepony else may get some use out of it, I’d say it’s worth passing on,” said Silent Cry.

Rarity nodded.

“I can hardly object to an act of Generosity. Well then, I shall still assist you until such a time occurs and... Oh. Would you excuse me for a moment, darling? Somepony new just picked up one of my Twilight figurines and I need to appraise them. I’ll speak to you again later,” said Rarity, before her small form faded away.

“Alright, see you then,” said Silent Cry as she slipped the figure of Rarity into her saddlebag.

As she did so, her vision catched a glance at her cutie mark: a halo over a tombstone.

The memory faded.

Chapter 3: Indecision

View Online

“If you get too attached to how you want it to come out the other side, you freeze. I try to trust that it will work out in the end.”
- Jennifer Connelly

The third memory revealed Silent Cry lying on the edge of a cliff, gazing down on a herd of feral ghouls in a valley through a pair of binoculars. Her vision sweeped across the various rotten bodies until she spotted a ghost waving towards her. It was the ghost of a small filly.

Her gaze shifted toward the ghoul the ghost was hovering by.

“Near that small dune: Buck, green coat, red mane, missing half its face and left rear leg,” said Silent Cry, describing the ghoul.

“I see it,” said a masculine voice nearby, though Silent Cry didn’t turn to identify the speaker.

BANG!

The ghoul in Silent Cry’s vision fell to the ground, dead. The ghost filly started jumping with glee. A moment later, the ghost of the ghoul rose from his corpse, and looked around in confusion. The filly quickly threw her legs around him in a hug.

Silent Cry looked away and returned to sweeping the ghoul herd. She quickly spotted another ghost.

“By that rock pile: mare, yellow coat, red mane, missing an ear and a long tear on her side,” said Silent Cry.

“Got it,” said her companion.

BANG!

This time, after the shot was fired, Silent Cry put down her binoculars and gazed over the valley. There were several ghost children scattered around, all with adult ghosts freshly severed from their bodies.

“Alright, I think that’s the last of them,” she declared before turning toward her companion.

The red earth pony buck with a target cutie mark smiled as he put down his sniper rifle.

“Glad to hear it. I think we put a record number of kids to rest today,” he said with a chuckle.

“Oh? You actually believe me when I say we’re helping reunite long dead children with their ghoul parents?” said Silent Cry with a smirk.

“Maybe, maybe not, Silent. You definitely pay me far more caps that I deserve just to shot a few feral ghouls. Which means either you like throwing money away, you’re completely insane, or you’re telling the truth. And since I’ve never met a pony that actually throws away cash and I’ve never seen you put on raider armor, I’m choosing to give you the benefit of a doubt,” replied the buck.

Silent Cry rolled her eyes.

“Whatever floats your boat, Bull’s Eye. Anyway, here’s your pay: one hundred caps plus compensation for every sniper round spent,” said Silent Cry as she tossed over a bag of caps.

“You know, as much as I enjoy taking your easy jobs, I think your age is starting to show. You ever consider just settling down?” asked Bull’s Eye as he stashed the caps.

“Are you calling me old?” asked Silent Cry with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, you’re not exactly a filly anymore. How long have you been wandering now? Forty years?” asked Bull’s Eye.

“Thirty seven,” replied Silent Cry.

“Exactly. Not many ponies live as long as you have in the wastes. Even fewer continue to travel at your age. Are you sure you want to keep going?” asked Bull’s Eye.

Silent Cry nodded.

“I’m not some helpless old nag, Bull’s Eye. Not yet. I’ve still got some years left in me, and you know I’m good at avoiding trouble,” she said.

“Good doesn’t mean perfect, Silent,” said Bull’s Eye as he pointed toward one of Silent Cry’s legs.

Silent Cry glanced down. Her left hind leg had an especially nasty looking scar across it.

“I worry about you, Silent. It was only dumb luck that you got away from that hell hound alive, and you were a younger mare back then. I can’t always be there to protect you. If it wasn’t for the caps you pay me, the town watch wouldn’t even let me go on these ‘hunting trips.’ I don’t want anything bad to happen to you,” said Bull’s Eye with a concerned expression.

Silent Cry sighed.

“I know, Bull’s Eye. Trust me, I know. But it’s not like I’m constantly running towards danger. There are plenty of places I know that are full of lost souls, but I don’t dare journey towards them. I’m grateful for your concern my friend, really I am, but I’m not setting down as long as I have the strength to keep walking,” she said.

Bull’s Eye sighed himself.

“Alright. At least I tried. Take care of yourself, Silent,” said Bull's Eye as turned and walked away.

“You too, Bull’s Eye,” said Silent Cry as she watched the buck leave.

Silent Cry turned back toward the ghoul herd. Several of the ghosts had already gone to sleep, but a few were still lingering.

“I can’t stop. Not while I can still make a difference,” Silent Cry mumbled to herself.

“You know, that sounds really familiar,” said a peppy voice.

Silent Cry turned to see the ghost of the Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Morale: Pinkie Pie.

“Ah. I was wondering where you ran off to, Pinkie. Did we get everypony?” asked Silent Cry.

“Yep. After all this time, Pinkie’s School for the Dead is finally ready to close. I don’t think words can describe how happy this makes me,” said Pinkie with a smile.

“Glad to head it. So, now that you don’t have several hundred kids to worry about, what are you going to do?” asked Silent Cry.

“Well, I have a few things I’d like to check up on now that I have the time. Sorry to run off on you again, but one of them is kind of urgent. Thanks for everything, Silent. I’ll see you around,” said Pinkie as she turned and started walking away.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” asked Silent Cry.

Pinkie Pie froze.

“You Pinkie Promised me that you would tell me about your greatest regret once we put all the children under your care to rest,” reminded Silent Cry.

Pinkie Pie turned around with a somber look on her face.

“Yes... but... er... I didn’t say when exactly I would tell you. And like I said, I have a few things I need to...” Pinkie Pie trailed off as she noticed the look on Silent Cry’s face.

“Pinkamena Diane Pie, you have been putting our conversation off for almost a decade. And I heard from Rainbow Dash that you’ve been hiding certain details from the rest of your friends as well. Now stop running away from your problems, sit down, and tell me why you think you’re a bad pony,” said Silent Cry.

Pinkie Pie sighed.

“OK. I guess Applejack would never let me forget about trying to get out of a Pinkie Promise, anyway. But... can we take this somewhere private? I really don’t want anypony to overhear,” admitted Pinkie.

“Certainly. But no wandering off,” said Silent Cry as she stood up and reached for a cane that was on the ground near her.

As they made their way away from the cliff, it was noticeable that the years were starting to catch up with Silent Cry. She was hardly feeble, but she was definitely moving slower than she had in the previous memory. And the reason for the cane was plain to see: she was limping on the leg bearing the massive scar.

A short walk later, the two of them found a small abandoned shed and went inside.

“Alright. I guess the best place to start is with what I did during the war,” said Pinkie.

“I don’t know, Pinkie. It’s common knowledge that you were in charge of keeping ponies happy and stopping zebra spies,” said Silent Cry as she slowly sat down.

“My biggest regret isn’t how I ran my Ministry, Silent. Not that I don’t regret it. Yes, I took things too far and didn’t trust my friends enough, but that was only a side effect of my real problem,” admitted Pinkie.

“Your drug addiction, you mean,” said Silent Cry.

Pinkie Pie sighed.

“That’s part of it. Goodness knows how badly it messed me up. I was so naive back when I first tried the drugs. I genuinely couldn’t comprehend how something that made ponies smile could be so bad for them. I can’t remember when I popped my first pill, but I do remember exactly how it felt: the clearness of my mind, the way everything seemed to snap into focus, and while I didn’t recognize it at the time, I could feel my brain becoming hooked.”

“Did you know that biologically-based insanity is instantly cured when you die? Chemical addictions don't follow you into the afterlife. When my soul left my body, I felt better than I’d ever felt in years. I was miserable and heartbroken, but I actually laughed in relief. I was so happy to be free of the pain my mind and body had been going through for so long. I must've looked ridiculous, trying to laugh and sob at the same time,” admitted Pinkie.

“Though I heard rumors that you were hours away from kicking the habit before the bombs dropped,” noted Silent Cry.

Pinkie Pie sighed again.

“Yeah, I was, though it was even closer than that. I was minutes away from delaying the end of the world. Stopping the megaspell in Manehattan wouldn’t have prevented the zebras from attacking us eventually, but it would have bought us some time. Time that could have saved countless lives and might have left a large part of the city standing after the bombs dropped. But I didn’t. And that wasn’t the worst part.”

“Mintals do what they say on the tin: they stimulate your brain to temporarily make you smarter. But whatever part of the brain they work on gave me another edge: they also stimulated my Pinkie Sense. Suddenly I wasn’t just getting funny feelings right before something was about to happen. I could actually see things that were going to happen in the near future,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Yes, I heard about that power of yours. I understand that this enabled you to save numerous lives by preventing attacks from even happening,” added Silent Cry.

“Yeah. It’s one of the few things I can look back at during the war and say I was happy about before I started taking it too far. Especially considering that so many of my other actions just backfired. My attempts to keep ponies happy only dragged out the war. My plan to help Zecora only got her killed. I couldn’t even keep my friends together. But that’s all besides the point.”

“You see, while mintals improved my Pinkie Sense, I wasn’t satisfied. I think part of it was because my addiction was getting worse, but I genuinely wanted something that would let me do more. I’m the inventor of Party Time Mintals, you know. And what they did to my Pinkie Sense...”

Pinkie Pie paused and turned away.

“Can you imagine what it's like? Being able to see the future?” she asked.

Silent Cry put a hoof to her mouth in thought for a minute before speaking.

“I’d have to guess it’s like watching a movie: you can see things happening from a distance, but can’t interact with it, and can only speculate how that particular event is going to come to pass,” she said.

Pinkie Pie gave a sad smile.

“Well, it's not a bad guess, but it’s way off. You’re imagining it as seeing something that is set in stone. This may be true for the past, but not for the future. All you can see from the future is possibilities. The future is flexible. Even something as small as the flap of a butterfly's wings can change everything. And because you’re looking into the future, you naturally always get hints as to which butterfly it was. Hold on, I thought of a really good analogy for it a long time ago,” said Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie hemmed and hawed for a minute, but then nodded.

“Seeing the future is like having a large bowl of fortune cookies. Every time you take one, the fortune will say one possible way the world could turn out, and several hints that will probably help that particular future become reality. There’s no way of knowing what that future will be until you open the cookie, but there’s nothing stopping you from taking another cookie and reading a different future. The only catch is that once you take a new cookie, you have to throw away the old fortune. If you didn’t bother taking notes, then that tossed future is only reachable if you remember the instructions and don’t get it confused with the other tossed cookies,” explained Pinkie.

“I see. I assume that these ‘hints’ were usually vague and difficult to understand how they fit into the big picture?” asked Silent Cry.

“Yep. All I got was ‘make sure you’re here then,’ and ‘move this thing here right away,’ and stuff like that. I could work out where it was going sometimes, but not too often. But even with that, you can see how powerful this made me. And this is were my biggest regret lies.”

“As you know, the war became larger as time went on. Of course, until the attack on Luna’s school no one really thought it would escalate to the point it did. But the attack did happen, and ponies and zebras became more and more devoted to the cause and a peaceful ending became more and more impossible. But there was a small window where that wasn’t the case.”

“When I first started seeing the future, things were grim, but far from hopeless. I saw futures where ponies won after half of Equestria’s forces died in an aggressive charge. I saw futures were few ponies died, but zebras would rule Equestria and banish Luna back to the moon, this time permanently. I saw futures where if me or one of my friends died, the consequences would eventually cause the war to stop. There were a lot those that had to do with Luna dying.”

“I rejected them. I didn’t want to have an ending where somepony I cared about would end up dead or banished, or one nation would have to pay such a heavy price for the war. So, instead of trying to pursue any of these futures, I cast them aside and kept reaching for more cookies. Surely, I told myself, one of these must have a future where everyone is happy. I just have to keep looking and I’ll find it eventually.”

“But there’s one thing about war I was too naive and foolish to realize. With war, there’s no such thing as a happy ending. No matter who wins, fights, or whatever, someone is going to suffer. It might be the soldiers fighting the front lines, it might be some famous martyr who forces the enemy to recognize just how far they’ve fallen, it might even be a nation reduced to second class citizens for generations, but there will be casualties. By the time I realized this fact, it was too late. The war had grown too big. I no longer saw futures where one side won at a cost. I only saw futures that resulted in one side destroying the other, and often itself as well."

"I saw Twilight’s alicorns turning Equestria into tyrantial super nation after killing Celestia and Luna and ruling the world with an iron hoof. I saw the zebras winning, but then all life on the planet ending because they poisoned the earth to do so. And I don’t even want to think about what I saw from those ones where the war just kept on going even as our nations crumbled. In fact, the megaspells were one of the better options,” admitted Pinkie.

“The megaspells? Really?” asked Silent Cry.

“Almost all life was wiped out, but that was the key: almost all life. Not all of it. Because of the Stables, life will eventually return one way or another. The world will spend a few hundred years as a wasteland instead of thousands of years as something far worse. Hay, there are even a few island nations that managed to escape the worst of the fallout and are still thriving to this day. But that doesn’t change the fact that countless lives were lost. And I could have prevented it. It was all because I was too stupid to realize that there was no way to end the war without sacrifices,” admitted Pinkie Pie.

Silent Cry’s gaze turned toward the floor in thought.

“I know what you’re going to say. Yes, I’m not the only one to blame. But I am the only one who knew exactly how to keep it from getting as bad as it did, but I didn’t. I really don’t want to hear this again,” said Pinkie.

“No,” said Silent Cry as she raised her head.

Pinkie tilted her head, confused.

“Even if you could see how to stop the war, were you capable of acting on that knowledge? How much of your continued future gazing was a result of the drugs in your body pushing you to take more? I bet you saw that once the war was over, your friends would do everything they could to get you to break that habit. Can you really say it was just naivety that lead you to that point?” asked Silent Cry.

Pinkie started at Silent Cry before laughing. It was a very, very bitter laugh.

“Seriously? Your advice as the ghost-whisperer is to blame the drugs? You’ve never taken any chems! What do you know about addiction?” demanded Pinkie.

“Enough to know that it messes with your head, Pinkie. And I didn’t say to blame all of it on the drugs. Besides, it’s not about your motivation. I’m trying to make a point here,” said Silent Cry.

“Well, then you’ll have to explain it cause it just went right over the head of this stupid pony,” said Pinkie with a shrug.

“The point is that being able to see how the world was going to end doesn’t mean you were the reason it happened. The way you told your story suggests that nopony else understood how bad things were getting. However, I’ve meet many who did but realized too late. Yes, you could have prevented the end of the world, but so could have many others. The only difference between your failure and theirs is that you realized how badly you messed up before you died,” finished Silent Cry.

Pinkie Pie stared at Silent Cry.

“You made some bad choices, but so did others. You didn’t do anything so worse than anypony else that you don’t deserve forgiveness. And yes, I am aware my point had nothing to do with the drugs. But saying that got you to actually listen to me, now didn’t it?” asked Silent Cry.

Pinkie continued staring at Silent Cry, but then started laughing. It was genuine joy this time.

“You... you actually pulled a fast one on me?! Wow. I didn’t think you had it in you. What happened to the sad pony who couldn’t even look at her cutie mark without sighing?” asked Pinkie Pie.

“She got over her troubled past and realized she didn’t need to be a psychiatrist to help others in some small way. So as your unofficial mind doctor, I will say this once again: making a few bad decisions with good intentions, no matter how far reaching their consequences, does not make you a bad pony. Now stop hiding the details from your friends and let them know exactly what you regret,” said Silent Cry.

Pinkie Pie sighed, but she was still smiling.

“Yeah... I guess you're right. Heh. It’s funny, really. You really do have a way with making ponies feel better,” she said.

Silent Cry smiled.

“Glad to help. Though, now that I think about it, this ability to see the future is why you believe in your ace, right?” asked Silent Cry.

Pinkie Pie’s expression grew serious again.

“Yeah. A bit before the end, right when I was ready to throw in the towel, I found a special fortune cookie. Or, rather, a cookie found me. Messages from the future are tricky, as they don’t guarantee that the future they come from will become reality. It didn’t help that this message kind of only reached my subconscious. But that was enough. Enough to get me out of my slump, and to reach out and take that future’s cookie in my hooves."

"What I saw in that cookie was horrible, but I also saw her. A pony who would suffer in ways similar to me, yet push on. A pony who’d walk through Tartarus itself as long as it’d help others. A pony who would be willing to sacrifice everything except what made her a good pony to save the world. It was quite the inspiring sight, let me tell you.”

“When I realized that a pony like that could exist so far in the future after everything went wrong, I was encouraged. After spending so long looking into hopeless, horrible futures, here was one that had a hero. It was the best future I had seen in years. I made up my mind. I couldn’t save the world, but I could make sure the world would let that pony be born. It was a long shot: I only had a few days to do anything, and there would be a lot of factors that I wouldn’t be able to control.”

“But I did what I could: A few bottle caps and bullets stashed in select locations, a ton of memory orbs collected and relocated, and one last favor I had to get Dashie to do for me after the bombs dropped. Things could have gone better, though. It got Dashie killed, and I kind of failed to give that pony a safe haven to go to in Manehattan.”

“And of course, regardless of whether I had done everything right or not, there’s a lot of room for things to go wrong. Two hundred years is a long time for things to go off-script. And that’s not even considering the other ponies I saw that might or might not come into the picture and make things more complicated. But the stage has been set as best it could. If she comes, the fate of the world will rest in her hooves,” finished Pinkie.

“And you’ve been waiting patiently to see if this pony really comes, right?” asked Silent Cry.

“Yep. In fact, I ran off earlier because a contact of mine had to tell me that she’s arrived. There’s a newborn foal in Stable 2 whose coat and mane are a perfect match to the pony I saw,” announced Pinkie.

Silent Cry gave a gasp of surprise.

“Yeah. I’m really glad we took care of all the kids today. I’m planning to go and watch her. I’ve been able to keep smiling for so long because I have hope in this pony. Nothing’s for certain though. She could die before her journey’s finished. She could end up falling and become worse than the ponies she might fight. But there is a chance she could do it. There is a chance she could make things right. My hope, and Equestria, will live or die with her,” declared Pinkie.

Silent Cry remained silent for a moment before speaking.

“Well then, let’s pray she grows up to be all you’re hoping for,” she said.

Pinkie Pie nodded.

The memory faded.

Chapter 4: Heartbreak

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“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”
- Bob Marley

The fourth memory revealed not a secluded area, but a crowded bar. Despite how many ponies were there, the atmosphere was subdued and ponies were whispering to one another in hushed and nervous tones.

“...gone. Just gone...”

“...They were so friendly. How could...”

“...those bastards...”

“...Where are you DJ Po...”

Silent Cry could also see that there were many ghosts present as well. They mostly stuck to themselves and their conversations were just as hushed, but also rather excited.

“...and boom! She’s gone! ...”

“... actually survived that. Can you...”

“...shame. After all he...”

“...right. Pinkie Pie was...”

Silent Cry herself, however, was alone, sipping the last of her drink while the bartender watched.

“You sure you’ll be alright by yourself, Granny Cry? These are troubled times, after all,” said the bartender.

“I’m sure. In fact, I’m expecting company tonight. Don’t you go worrying about little old me,” said Silent Cry, her voice now bearing the weariness of old age.

The bartender rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything until Silent Cry finished her drink.

“Alright then. Have a pleasant evening, Granny,” said the bartender.

“You too, young sir,” said Silent Cry as she slowly got up to leave.

As she made her way across the room, her body once again revealed that some time had passed since the last memory. She had been slower last time, but she was outright crippled now. She leaned heavily on her cane, her movements were stiff, and her muscles cried out with every step.

Yet despite this, Silent Cry hobbled onward with a soft smile. She gave a small nod to ponies as she passed them, and got a few friendly waves back. Not all of them were from the ghosts, either.

Silent Cry stepped outside, revealing that she was in a small settlement, though there were no clear landmarks as to which one. It was also apparent that it wasn’t just the ponies in the bar who were tense. Ponies walked around holding their guns at the ready. Windows were boarded and doors were reinforced. Along the outer perimeter, the town watch was gathered and watching the skies sharply despite the late hour.

Silent Cry sighed as she hobbled forward.

“If I were just five years younger I’d grab my rifle and join them up there,” she mumbled to herself.

Finally, she reached what appeared to be her home. It was an unremarkable single-story shack with a small sign out front: Granny Cry’s House of Crying (and Ghost Stories). After struggling with the key for a moment, Silent Cry opened the door and stepped inside.

There was an orange pony ghost sitting by the kitchen table, waiting for her.

“Well now. And here I thought the land of the dead had forgotten about my humble little home,” said Silent Cry.

Applejack, Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Wartime Technology, looked ashamed.

“Sorry... It’s just... ya know...” she mumbled.

Silent Cry chucked.

“Oh no, I understand. These are interesting times. Pinkie’s prophesized hero walks among us, and has indeed been doing what many thought impossible. It’s only natural that I’d have few customers until the matter is finished. But that begs the question: what are you doing here instead of watching her with your friends?” asked Silent Cry.

Applejack sighed.

“It’s not about her. Ah just... Ah just needed some time alone to think, and with how many dead folk are followin’ her, Ah figured Ah’d best put some distance between us,” said Applejack.

“Really? Well, if not her, then I’ve heard how one of your friends has finally be freed from her torment. Why would you want to be alone now? Why aren’t you out there helping her?” asked Silent Cry.

Applejack sighed again.

“Me and the girls had a chance to talk with Twilight, but she’s got some unresolved problems to fix first. Her and Trixie have been runnin’ all across the wasteland, tryin’ to save as many souls as they can while some small shred of them’s still part of that mess. We all figured it’d be best to let ‘em finish before we have our heart to heart,” explained Applejack.

Silent Cry nodded.

“I see. And do let them know that I will be willing to offer my services as well when they feel they are ready to see me. That still doesn’t explain why you’re in my house alone, though. You've always claimed you were already over your guilt,” said Silent Cry.

Applejack turned away.

“Somepony else just died. Somepony who Ah care deeply for. Now, Ah ain’t tryin’ to avoid him or nothin’. Ah’m just tryin’ to figure out what Ah’m goin’ to say to him before Ah see him,” said Applejack.

“Ah, I get it: buck problems. That’s a shame though. I was hoping that the pony who’s insisted she doesn’t need my help for fifty years was finally ready to open up to me,” said Silent Cry.

“Ah know what Ah regret, Silent. Ah lived long enough to come to terms with it all. Ah don’t need yer help remindin’ me ‘bout things Ah already know,” replied Applejack, still not looking at Silent Cry.

Silent Cry rolled her eyes, but slid into another chair.

“Anyway, it’s pretty obvious who the poor soul is. So that stubborn ghoul finally kicked the bucket, eh? Shame really. I’ve been hearing how the Stable Dweller’s actually been pulling him out of his armor, so to speak. I hope he made peace with himself before he died. It always makes the transition easier for everypony involved,” said Silent Cry.

“Ah think he did. Course, ya can never tell what goes through the heads of bucks. Goodness knows Ah never figured his out,” mumbled Applejack.

“Oh come now. You two were perfect for each other. Everypony who knows your story thinks so as well. You must have know him better than that,” said Silent Cry with a playful jab.

“Maybe Ah did. Maybe Ah didn’t. Still didn’t know him as well as Ah should have, either way,” said Applejack.

Silent Cry raised an eyebrow.

“What’s this really about, now? You've always been critical of him, but also supportive. Are you trying to distance yourself from him when the poor buck is probably out there looking for you as we speak?” asked Silent Cry.

“It’s complicated,” said Applejack with a shrug.

“You wouldn't have come here unless you wanted to say it anyway,” said Silent Cry.

“Ah mean our relationship is complicated,” clarified Applejack.

“Well then, you’ll have to remind this old mare. Far as I can recall, the two of you were an item, had an argument, and never had the chance to properly apologize. Tragic, but not too complicated,” said Silent Cry.

Applejack let out yet another sigh, but started talking.

“At first it was that simple. We were just two ponies who worked together, grew close, and started datin’. It was common sight then, really. Lots of ponies tryin’ to find their special sompony as soon as possible, what with the threat of megaspells hangin’ over us all. We certainly had a lot goin’ for us, as far as couples go. We really did seem made for each other. Heh. Ah can still hear Rainbow teasin’ about us both havin’ ‘Apple’ in our names.”

“But when you put two stubborn ponies together, it means that sooner or later we’re goin’ to butt heads, and be doin’ it for quite some time. And it wasn’t just between us. That buck could hold a grudge like nopony’s business. Not that Ah blame him for all of it, but it bothered me how often he got rough with those he felt deserved it. Hay, it still bothers me.”

“Take those ponies who tried to kill me for example. Yeah, they were scum bags and deserved some form of punishment for what they did, but that didn’t mean they deserved to be murdered like that. He knew Ah wouldn’t have done somethin’ so drastic if he told me he knew they were the culprits, so he did it behind mah back. How can Ah trust a pony like that? A pony who’d rather ignore and overlook his significant other’s opinions than stop bein’ angry.”

“It came to a head when Zecora died. He always hated zebras. Ah could understand why, of course. Most of the soldiers Ah talked with hated ‘em too. But sometimes Ah think he hated ‘em before the war even started. And he wasn’t shy about lettin’ that hate control him either. Can ya imagine what it’s like seein’ somepony ya love murder one of yer old friends? Mind ya, Ah still thought she was a traitor at the time, but Ah still didn’t want to see her dead.”

“And even if she had been a traitor, she shouldn’t have died that night. We had her on our soil and she’d surrendered. He should have just taken her prisoner. If he had, Pinkie and Rainbow could have helped her and might have told us that she was a spy in time. At the very least we could have learned what she saw in the zebra homeland. But he didn’t. None of that even registered to him. All he saw was a zebra who’d apparently done me wrong, and that meant she had to die.”

Applejack paused to let out another sigh.

“Her death put a wedge between us. Ah can still remember the argument we had afterwards as clear as the day Ah got mah cutie mark. That wedge never went away, either. In fact, it only grew stronger when Pinkie told me everthin’. Course, there’s no way of knowing if Zecora could have actually taken care of the Caesar, but she might have. It was just another one of those many, many missed chances to end the war.”

“We never completely broke off, but we did start driftin’ apart. We did try to work it out, but the zebras decided to bomb us before we had a chance to make things right. But that’s just the thing: Ah’m not sure if we’d have gotten back together if we’d had all the time in the world. Ah still care about him, and Ah know he still cares about me, but can we ever get over that incident completely? Ah still don’t know, and we’re goin’ to find out one way or the other real soon,” said Applejack.

“As I recall, you told me Zecora forgave him for the incident well before you met her in the afterlife, correct?” asked Silent Cry.

“Yeah. Zecora was always a better soul than the rest of us. She never held it against him. Just like she never held the end of the world against me or any of mah friends. Before she went to sleep, she told us that we were far better ponies than we realized. Sometimes Ah wish Ah could be as forgivin’ as she was,” said Applejack with a pained expression.

Silent Cry rolled her eyes.

“I still think we should have a talk about your own problems, despite how much you insist you’re over them, but as always I won't demand anything. Anyway, why don’t you tell me how the time you’ve spent in the afterlife affected your opinion of him?” suggested Silent Cry.

Applejack sighed yet again.

“It didn’t make things better, if that’s what you’re askin’. All that time spent wanderin’ Equestria and it was only when he meet the Stable Dweller that he finally started to do somethin’ with himself. Don’t ya give me that look. Anypony with a rocket launcher can hunt mutant alicorns. He was just usin’ it as an excuse to vent his anger,” said Applejack.

“Are you certain? You just told me you have no idea what goes on in his head,” Silent Cry pointed out.

Applejack raised a hoof to object, but put it back down.

“Well, he definitely wasn’t tryin’ to help ponies. How long did it take for him to start talkin’ the Steel Rangers into doin’ their job? He had two centuries to say somethin’, but he just walked away,” said Applejack.

“Maybe he didn’t trust himself to lead anything after the incident?” suggested Silent Cry.

Applejack snorted.

“Yeah, and Ah managed to kick all the rotten ponies out of my Ministry and keep ‘em out,” she scoffed.

Silent Cry’s expression grew hard.

“You seem awfully eager to shove him under a chariot tonight. That’s not a good mindset to be in right before you see him. Did you come to see me for advice, or because you wanted to work yourself up beforehoof?” she demanded.

Applejack threw her hooves up in frustration.

“Of course Ah’m worked up! After all this time watchin’ him make a darn fool of himself, he finally starts makin’ things right just to die right when the world needed him most! And now Ah have to talk to that stupid, stubborn pony that stole mah heart! He’s a moron who acts without thinkin’! He’s a murderer who kills without remorse! He’s...” exclaimed Applejack.

“He’s somepony you still care about,” interrupted Silent Cry.

“And that’s just it! Why the fuck do Ah care about somepony like that, even if he did father mah child?! Why am I still in love with a trigger-happy monster?!” cried Applejack before she slammed her head onto the table.

Or at least she tried to. She ended up going through it and falling into an awkward heap partway through the floor.

Silent Cry sighed.

“You really don’t know? I think you do, but you just want somepony else to say it,” she said.

She got some indistinguishable grumbling from the floor.

“Because you know that, despite his many mistakes and stubbornness, he really does want to be a better pony,” said Silent Cry.

Applejack didn’t answer, but she did pull herself back up into her chair with a troubled look on her face.

“You saw it back then when you had your argument. You saw it as you watched him from the afterlife. And you definitely saw it as he journeyed with the Stable Dweller. He’s slow to change, but he does want to. You still care for him because you know about the wonderful pony hidden beneath that armor and attitude, and you want to see it come out again,” said Silent Cry.

Applejack’s gaze turned toward the floor, but she still remained silent.

“I don’t know the minds of bucks any better than you do, but I do know what guilt looks like, and I’ve been hearing about that ghoul’s guilt almost as long as I’ve been out here in the wasteland. He’s not a bad pony. He’s a good pony with flaws that made some bad decisions. Just like you,” finished Silent Cry.

The two of them sat there in silence for some time before Applejack spoke, still looking at the floor.

“Ah remember when Ah first met him. He was just some newly promoted soldier to me back then. Didn’t think he was all the impressive at first, to be honest. Ah could see that frustration in him, but Ah’d heard what he’d gone through to get that promotion so it didn’t seem out of place at the time. But soon Ah also saw somethin’ special. Ah don’t know if it was me fallin’ for him right off the bat or just some small part of him that was catchin’ mah eye, but I saw it, and Ah liked it.”

“Ah never meet another pony who could make me feel like that. When we started datin’, he actually got me worrin’ bout mah looks. Made me want to look pretty so he’d know Ah appreciated him. Helped me remember that under all mah pride and hard work, Ah was still a mare on the inside. There has to be something good in a pony that can do that to me, right?”

Silent Cry nodded.

“Course, It was a rocky relationship, even in the best of times. It was kind of inevitable, really. Like Ah said, when stubborn ponies get together it alway gets rough. I can’t pretend Ah was a good marefriend either. Like mah friends, Ah put way too much time into mah work. Yeah, he was always away, fightin’ the war, but Ah missed chances to talk with him when he was home a lot too. Maybe it kept me from seein’ his problems sooner. Maybe I could have helped him through them. But Ah didn’t. And if Ah really was his special somepony, that fault lies with me for not helpin’ him.”

“I keep thinkin’ about all the things we did together. All the happy memories and good times. But Every time Ah think about what Ah want to say to him, all Ah can think about is that one moment. The one moment Ah saw just how far he could sink. Ah want to be able to love him again without thinkin’ about that. Ah want to be able to forgive him for it completely, not just a bit. Ah just don’t know if Ah can,” admitted Applejack.

Silent Cry raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t think that’s the right question, Applejack. You are most certainly capable of forgiving him. It’s just a question of whether you want to, and I think you should. Zecora was willing to forgive him, and it’s why you're still here after all: so you have the time you need to find peace with yourself and others,” said Silent Cry.

Tears started to form in Applejack’s eyes.

“Ah know. Ah know Ah can, but if Ah do forgive him then... then...” she stuttered.

Silent Cry waited for a moment, but Applejack couldn’t finish her sentence.

“But if you forgive him then what? You...” said Silent Cry before it all seemed to click for the old pony.

“Ah, I think I get it now. The reason you finally came to me, I mean. This isn’t just about him, isn’t it? It’s because you know that if you can bring yourself to forgive somepony like him, then you have no excuse not to forgive yourself,” said Silent Cry.

Applejack’s tears started flowing and she gave a sob. Silent Cry leaned over and pulled Applejack into a hug, though she couldn’t feel anything from the ghost. Applejack rolled over and started crying onto Silent’s back, her ghostly tears faded to nothing as they fell from her eyes.

“Why... Why is somepony like me goin’ to paradise? Ah don’t deserve it. Ah made so, so many mistakes. A good pony doesn’t do the things Ah did. A good pony manages to save the world, not destroy it. Ah’m not a good pony. Ah’m not a...” chocked Applejack.

“Ssh... let it all out, Applejack,” Silent Cry said gently.

This lasted for some time. Finally, Applejack’s tears began to dry.

“You're not a bad pony Applejack. I’ll keep telling you that as many times as I need to. You inadvertently played a role in the creation of the Equestrian Wasteland. You are a good pony who just made some bad decisions. Whatever watches us from the beyond clearly thinks so too,” said Silent Cry.

Applejack let out another sob, but she didn’t start crying again.

“Ah know that. Ah know that, but Ah...” she stampered.

“Silly filly. There’s a difference between knowing and understanding. It’s easy to know you made mistakes. It’s not as easy to understand why those mistakes can be forgiven. Now tell me, why have you been keeping all your fears and doubts to yourself for so long?” asked Silent Cry.

Despite her sobs, Applejack gave a small chuckle.

“Ah told ya. Ah’m a stubborn pony. You’ve seen mah friends. Ah lived longer than the rest of ‘em. Ah lived long enough to accept a lot of what Ah did. When Ah joined them they needed somepony they could lean on, so Ah figured it might as well be me...” she said.

“Being strong for others doesn’t mean you have to keep your problems inside, Applejack. You’re a ghost too. You have just as much right, and need, to share your troubles. And you seem to have forgotten that you’re a terrible liar. Did you honestly think you managed to keep your friends from noticing?” asked Silent Cry.

Applejack let out yet another sigh, and let go of Silent Cry.

“Ah guess not. They asked ya to try and get me to open up, didn’t they?” asked Applejack.

“I shall neither confirm nor deny it. Now, back to your buck. I know you’re nervous about talking with him, and like I said I don’t know a darn thing about dating, but in the end it comes down to two simple questions: Do you still love him?” asked Silent Cry.

Applejack slowly nodded.

“And do you honestly want to forgive him?” asked Silent Cry.

Applejack nodded again.

“Then all you can do is meet with him and try to talk it out together,” said Silent Cry.

Applejack looked like she was ready to break down again.

“Ah know. Ah know and Ah want to, but Ah’m scared. Ah just know Ah’ll say somethin’ stupid. How can Ah tell that pony how Ah really feel, after all this time, when Ah don’t know mahself? How can we possibly make things right between us?” confessed Applejack.

“I can’t promise it’ll be easy or painless, but it still has to be done. And everything, no matter how difficult or scary, has to start somewhere,” said Silent Cry.

“And how the hay am Ah supposed to start with somethin’ like this?” asked Applejack.

“I recommend you turn around,” said Silent Cry.

Applejack turned and gasped at the sight of the ghost of a certain green buck patiently waiting nearby. Silent Cry had noticed him enter some time ago, but had motioned for him to wait and listen.

“Now, I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about, so I’ll leave you to it. Feel free to stop by again later for another talk,” announced Silent Cry as she hobbled outside.

The memory faded.

Chapter 5: Despair

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“Despair is a narcotic. It lulls the mind into indifference.”
- Charlie Chaplin

The fifth memory revealed Silent Cry riding in the back of a wagon being carried by some unknown young buck. The sun was shining down, through the ground around them was still mostly dirt and dead grass. Apparently, not too much time had passed since the last memory for a change.

There were two others riding with her: a griffon with an assault rifle held in her claws, and a familiar rainbow-maned ghost who Silent was apparently in the middle of a conversation with.

“... gone. After two hundred years swearing up and down that he would never find peace, the old coot finally went to sleep,” finished Rainbow Dash.

Silent Cry chuckled.

“My, these are interesting times indeed. The sun is shining, the war is over, and fools even older than my dusty bones are eating their own words. Oh, to think I lived long enough to see it all for myself. I truly am a blessed soul,” she said.

The griffon groaned.

“Oh, don’t give me that, you buzzard. I’m a old mare. I’m allowed to crack a joke at my own expense now and again,” chided Silent Cry.

“Look lady, if it wasn't for the caps I’d say we should be dropping you off at a doctor’s instead of some shack in the middle of nowhere. I can think of a million things I’d rather do than escort a crazy old lady who talks to her imaginary friends, but easy caps are easy caps,” said the griffon.

Silent Cry rolled her eyes but didn’t respond.

“I still can’t believe it’s over. The Enclave is finished, everypony’s come together, and there are fewer ghosts around then there’s been in centuries. Pinkie was right. You were right,” said Rainbow.

“Oh no. I was just a silly young mare trying to cheer you up. It was simply a lucky coincidence, really. How are the others, by the way? I haven’t heard from them since the sun started shining down,” said Silent Cry.

“They're doing well. Pinkie Pie still hasn’t stopped singing and dancing in joy. Rarity’s still stuck in her statues, but she thinks she’s found a way to free herself when she’s ready. Nopony knows where Applejack is, but I heard she was last seen walking with her special somepony, so they’re probably still working things out. Twilight’s still a nervous wreck, but I think she’s finally starting to come around. Hopefully she’ll be ready to talk with you soon,” said Rainbow.

“I’m glad to hear that. Now then, would you care to tell me why you asked me to get off my rocking chair and travel out here? I’m getting a little too frail for house calls anymore, you know,” said Silent Cry.

Rainbow sighed.

“Yeah, well most ghosts don’t mind having to make their way over to you. The problem is that this pony’s kind of unwilling to move,” said Rainbow.

“Unwilling to move, or unwilling to do anything at all?” asked Silent Cry.

Rainbow Dash sighed again.

“The latter. See, she’s been staring into space refusing to move ever since she died. Her friends tried to get her to move, but nothing worked. I tried to talk to her, but she didn’t even blink. We finally figured that if the sun came back and the Enclave was destroyed we might be able to get a response out of her, but still nothing. At this point, we’re desperate enough to ask you to come all the way out here to see her,” explained Rainbow.

“I see. Well, I’ll give it my best shot, but it sounds like this pony is trying her hardest to avoid being healed. I can’t do much if she refuses to talk with me,” said Silent Cry.

The wagon stopped a moment later, parking next to a small shack.

“Thank you, kind sir. This shouldn’t take too long,” said Silent Cry as she very carefully made her way off the wagon,

“No problem, Granny Cry. We’re nowhere near anything dangerous. We’ll stick around as long as you need us to,” reassured the buck.

“I’ll be right here if you need me for anything,” called Rainbow Dash.

Silent Cry nodded and slowly made her way inside.

There were two ghosts in the building. Silent Cry recognized them and smiled.

“Ah. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. A pleasure to see you again,” said Silent Cry.

“Hello, Silent. Glad you could make it,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah. Sorry we didn't ask ya to speak with her sooner, but we figured it’d take a lot more than a talk to snap her out of it, and we didn’t want to make ya come all this way for nothing,” admitted Apple Bloom.

“It’s alright. Nothing wrong with going outside and getting more sunlight. How about you two? Have you finished your investigation yet?” asked Silent Cry.

Apple Bloom shook her head.

“Nah, we’re callin’ it quits. Whoever messed with the Stables is long dead and rottin’ in Tartarus. Ah just wish we found out why he or she did it. The point of the experiments was to find a way to save ponies, not kill them. Why in Equestria would anyone want to run an experiment to see what happens when you expose ponies to large amounts of radiation? All ya had to do was look at a camera pointed toward the outside for that,” she said with a huff.

“I still think it was either a zebra spy, or somepony just somehow eavesdropped what Scootaloo was planning and misheard it. They probably thought we really were turning ponies into guinea pigs,” said Sweetie Belle with a shake of her head.

“Ah’m still mad about it. So many ponies think the three of us were monsters. They don’t know that the experiments were supposed to be shut down the moment it was clear they were doin’ more harm than good. And half the time the Stable’s failure had nothin’ to do with the experiment! Yeah, we messed up, but we were tryin’ to makes things right, just like everypony else,” grumbled Apple Bloom.

“That’s enough of that, miss Apple Bloom. We’ve already had this conversation about where your guilt truly lies,” chided Silent Cry.

Apple Bloom sighed.

“Ah know. Our biggest mistake wasn’t makin’ the Stables. It was givin’ up. Not just in the war and our sisters, but in ponies in general. We forgot that just because a bunch of good ponies made some bad decisions doesn’t mean ponies can’t make good ones as well. We shouldn’t have lost faith. We shouldn’t have run any experiments, even if we tried to add safeguards,” admitted Apple Bloom.

“But even with that, the Stables were ultimately a good idea. For every Stable that failed, there was one that didn’t. We’re the reason so many ponies are alive today. We could have saved more, yes, but we did save a lot. And we should remember that when we think about how much suffering we unintentionally caused,” recited Sweetie Belle.

“Precisely. But I didn’t come all the way out here to talk with you two again, I believe,” said Silent Cry.

“Yeah, this isn’t about us. It’s about Scootaloo. We mentioned how badly she took everythin’, but we didn’t mention just how bad. When she died, she kind of just locked up, seein’ things that only she could see. By the time Sweetie Belle joined us, it was clear that it wasn’t goin’ to be easy to snap her out of it. We’ve tried everythin’ we could think of over the last two centuries, but nothin’ worked,” explained Apple Bloom.

“The war broke her, you know. More so than me and Apple Bloom. I think being branded a traitor was just the straw that finished what was left of her mind. She was always so stubborn. She always insisted on shouldering all the blame if things went wrong. We think that she’s convinced herself that she should be down in Tartarus, and is trying to torture herself in her own mind,” added Sweetie Belle.

“Havin' to read the assignment details to all the Stables herself probably didn’t help either. Especially Stable 1. Neither of us knew she was plannin’ on sealin’ it shut until we poked in ourselves and saw what was happenin’. Though we think that she was bettin’ on the scum bags closin’ the Stable before anypony who wasn’t part of their little circle got inside. Ah mean, mah Stables were built tough, but they ain’t strong enough to keep one of the Princesses from just wearin’ down the door over a few hundred years if they were trapped inside,” said Apple Bloom.

“And to be fair, it probably wasn’t that bad a decision. Turns out they had been stashing drugs and alcohol inside the Stable the moment it was finished. Do you know what they did when the Stable closed? They threw a party, and didn’t stop drinking, overdosing, and goodness knows what else until they dropped dead. It wasn’t even clear if any of them heard the announcement that their descendants were doomed. They were easily the worst kind of ponies, and I’m honestly kind of glad they never had any kids,” said Sweetie Belle.

Silent Cry shook her head in disgust.

“Yeah, the last thing Equestria needed was a unicorn version of the Enclave. Doesn’t change the fact that she gambled with the lives of innocent ponies who might have ended up trapped with ‘em though. Ah don’t know if it can be called justified, but then again Ah also don’t know who or what judges us mortal souls. So yeah, after all that, Scootaloo’s really messed up right now. Do ya think ya can help her?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well, I can certainly try. Is she through that door?” asked Silent Cry.

The ghosts nodded, and Silent Cry slowly made her way to the other room.

Sure enough, the ghost of Scootaloo was sitting on the floor, staring into space, seeing who knew what.

Silent Cry didn’t say anything right away. She made her way over and gently sat herself down next to Scootaloo.

They sat together in silence for awhile.

“Lovely weather today, isn’t it?” asked Silent Cry.

Scootaloo didn’t respond.

“The sun’s even more beautiful than I imagined. To think ponies once took something so amazing for granted is hard for an old bag of bones like me to imagine. And they’ll do it again soon. A single generation will pass, and nopony will remember a world covered in clouds,” said Silent Cry.

Scootaloo didn’t respond.

“Yep. Things are looking so much better now. The world is finally starting to heal. And if those rumors I’ve been hearing are true, it might end up green again very soon. Makes one feel nostalgic, doesn’t it?” asked Silent Cry.

Scootaloo didn’t respond.

“Times like these I like to think back about the life I lived; the many things I’ve seen and done. The friends I made and miss. And for all that, the thing I like to think about the most is the story of how I got my cutie mark. Care to hear it?” asked Silent Cry.

Scootaloo didn’t respond.

“I was born part of a traveling caravan. My father was a trader, and my mother was a drifter who fell for him and hung up her adventure boots to stay with him. It was a happy childhood. I had loving parents, got to see plenty of new sights, and our caravan was big enough that few raiders ever dared to attack us. Though as it goes without saying, childhoods don’t last long in the Wasteland.”

“Mine ended a little after my fourth birthday. I started to realize that there was something off about my mom. She never talked to anypony but me, not even my dad. She never picked me up and played games with me like some of the other mothers in our caravan. And she was always glowing in a way that nopony else did. Not even those ghouls she always told me to stay away from.”

“When I finally asked my mom why she was glowing, she reluctantly told me why. The truth was that my mother had died in childbirth. I was the only one who could see her because I was born with the power to see the dead. As you can imagine, nopony was happy when I realized this and started claiming I could talk to ghosts. Most just dismissed it as a little filly playing pretend. Others thought it was a sign I’d been born stupid.”

“Course, the few who thought it was cute started thinking otherwise when I refused to stop talking about it. They kept telling me to stop bothering them with my silly games. Especially my father. He didn’t like being reminded about the love he’d lost. After a few years it got to the point where he yelled at me and demanded I never pretend to talk with my dead mother again. I didn’t listen, and ended up getting beaten for it.”

“My mother was heart broken. She didn’t want to see her husband attack his own child. Mind you, it wasn’t much worse than a spanking, and I probably did deserve some form of discipline, but it still left her crying. I waited until I was alone, and then tried to comfort her. And that’s when I got my cutie mark: a halo over a tombstone. Because my talent matched my special skill: I was a natural at putting ponies at ease, dead or alive.”

“This didn’t make things better, though. It was a tradition in the caravan for ponies to start an apprenticeship under whoever practiced something similar to your talent when you got your mark. It wasn’t so obvious with me. Some ponies thought mine was a symbol that I was going to be an undertaker. Others thought it was a sign I’d grow up to be a dangerous killer. When rumors started spreading that I wanted to have more ‘ghosts’ to talk to, well, you can guess which idea most pony eventually believed in.”

“I became a popular target for bullies. My dad wasn’t one of them, but he saw the storm brewing, and asked me to leave the caravan for my own safety. The next town we stopped at, I was left behind. I ended up as an assistant to a local doctor. He never really took the time to teach me the trade, though I did pick up a few things over the years. I also grew quite fond of a certain Ministry Mare after working with her tools for so long.”

“I never focused on my ability to see ghosts. They came and went, like living ponies, but they never did any business with me or my boss, so I didn’t give them much thought. It wasn’t until my dad died years later in an accident that I started acting on my cutie mark. When his ghost came to apologize for leaving me, I just couldn’t bring myself to turn him away. And so we talked. He found his peace, and left me wondering what to make of it.”

“Was this power something I really wanted to use? Could I even do anything with it? I decided to pack up my things and head out for a long walk to clear my head. I ran into a certain rainbow maned pony on the way, and from there I became the ghost whisperer.”

“I spent the rest of my life helping the souls of the dead find peace. Some were easy, and only needed somepony to talk to. Other were harder, and took years of discussions to send them on their way. Some I had to go on small adventures to take care of some final request or something like that. And then there were the ones who just couldn’t rest until they knew the world they lived on would be alright in the end. I couldn’t do a thing for them, but the Stable Dweller did.”

It’s funny, really. That single pony unknowingly turned my life’s work from an unending task to one that I might actually be able to finish now. So many souls have gone to sleep because of her. Not that anypony will know about it. Most ponies don’t believe I can talk to ghosts. Hay, I’m still not certain if I can. Nopony will mention me in the history books, but that’s fine. Not every good pony gets to be famous.”

“Ah, listen to me ramble. I was just supposed to talk about my cutie mark. Guess my mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be. Course, it’ll be a miracle if I live for another decade, so I’ll take my mostly intact mind, thank you very much. What about you, dear? Do you remember how you got your cutie mark?” asked Silent Cry.

Scootaloo didn’t respond.

“Talents are funny things. Just because you have them doesn’t mean you’ll put them to use, let alone do something good with them. Lots of pony go through their lives and never amount to much. They were just background ponies compared to all the big and famous figures who went on to make history. The Princesses, the Ministry Mares, the Lightbringer and her friends, and even those Stable Tec fillies did so much more than the rest of us little ponies,” said Silent Cry.

Scootaloo didn’t respond, but it almost looked like she twitched out of the corner of Silent Cry’s eye.

“Yep. Big and important ponies they were. But they weren’t gods, either. They made some mistakes too. The Princesses led us to war, the Ministry Mares took things too far, The Stable Tec fillies got a lot of ponies killed, and the Lightbringer once slayed an entire village of ponies in front of their kids. I’ll never understand why ponies insist on putting others on such pedestals. Makes you forget that they were just normal pony who decided to do more than just sit around and watch the days go by.’

“Cause ponies like them, they couldn’t just sit around. They couldn’t accept that the world had be full of bad things. They knew they couldn’t get rid of all of them, but they could do something about a few. They just didn’t know how to do it. They tried some ideas, some worked and others didn't, but they kept trying. Never once considering giving up as long as there was a chance that they could makes things better in some small way.”

“And that’s what made them great ponies. It easy to want to world to change. It’s not so easy to get up and make it change. Few ponies are willing to try, and even fewer succeed. But those ponies I just mentioned? They did some good. They did some bad too, but also good. And if they were willing to actually try when so many other didn't, how can anyone say that they don’t deserve some respect?”

“And if a pony deserves your respect, then that mean that they also deserve your forgiveness. I don’t know what lies beyond, or what system’s in place that decides who gets to go to paradise and who suffers, but I do know one thing: there’s always room for more forgiveness in the world,” finished Silent Cry.

Scootaloo didn’t answer.

Silent Cry waited.

But then, there was a small sound, too quiet to make out.

Silent Cry waited some more.

“I’m sorry...” came a whisper so soft it was almost impossible to notice.

Silent still waited.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry... I’m sorry...” said the soft whisper over and over again.

Silent Cry turned toward Scootaloo. She still was staring into space with unseeing eyes, but her mouth was moving.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry... I’m sorry...”

Silent Cry reached over and gently hugged the pegasus.

“And I forgive you,” she said.

Scootaloo started to cry.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry... I’m sorry...”

The memory faded.

Chapter 6: Obsession

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“Regrets are idle; yet history is one long regret. Everything might have turned out so differently.”
- Charles Dudley Warner

The last memory showed Silent Cry resting in a chair. Once again, time had passed and Silent Cry’s body had fallen further. This was the body of a pony who’s remaining lifespan now measured in months or maybe just weeks rather than years.

And yet, she was eagerly talking with the lost soul of a blue unicorn as if she was still the young mare from the first memory orb.

“...so long. So much death and suffering by my hooves. I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself,” wept the ghost of Trixie.

“You will, I’m certain. It is the will of what lies beyond that your soul will find peace. I’ve never met, nor heard of, a ghost that didn’t fall asleep eventually. I won’t be there to help you, but I know you will find it some day,” said Silent Cry, her voice a tired gasp.

Trixie sighed.

“One can only hope, I suppose. Very well, ghost whisperer. I shall endeavor to push on even without your assistance. I pray you find your own peace when the time comes,” said Trixie before she bowed and turned to leave.

“Thank you, and good luck,” said Silent Cry as Trixie headed out the door.

With a content sigh, Silent Cry leaded back into her chair and closed her eyes.

“You almost never see a ghost at my age. Sometimes I think ponies are meant to grow old so that they can find their peace long before their souls leave their bodies. I’ve had a good run. I made some friends, helped some poor souls, and left the world a little better than what it was when I arrived, even if only in places nopony can see. I don’t believe a pony could truly wish for more,” Silent Cry mumbled to herself.

Some time passed in silence, before she spoke again.

“If you’re waiting for an invitation, I shall remind you that I gave you one years ago,” said Silent Cry.

If there had been any indication that told Silent Cry she had company, it wasn’t apparent in the memory.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to impose,” came a familiar voice.

Silent Cry opened her eyes to see the ghost of the Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Arcane Sciences: Twilight Sparkle. Her ghostly form was in a far worse state than any ghost seen in Silent Cry’s memories yet. Her form was patchy, and several parts seemed unattached to the rest of her. Her expression was very haggard as well.

“I’m an old mare counting down the days till I die. The only way you could impose on me now is if you tried to wake me up from a nap. Talking with dead ponies is the only thing I can do anymore, and I welcome any and all who take the time to speak with this old hag,” said Silent Cry.

Twilight sighed and made her way to sit down in front of Silent Cry.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” asked Silent Cry.

“A few things, and not all of it is about me. First and foremost, I have to ask if you ever bothered to learn more about your abilities,” said Twilight.

Silent Cry chucked.

“Still a scholar at heart, are you? The answer is no, but I did learn about it. Heard from a ghost buck who overheard it from a steel ranger who read about it during a party in some dragon cave. Apparently, the legend of the ghost whisperer goes back to Equestria's founding. Something about how whenever some great calamity strikes the world, someone, not always a pony, is given the power to clean up the resulting mess of souls that nopony else alive can see,” said Silent Cry.

“Yes. I read about it while I was alive, but I’d completely forgotten about it years before the war even started. It really makes one wonder what lies beyond, and gives hope that who or whatever watches over us is merciful,” said Twilight.

“Maybe so, but I fail to see what that has to do with anything. So what if I’m the most recent entry in a line for some destined role? You were the next to most recent in line for yours. And don’t tell me you came to see me just to discuss science. That’s not what’s keeping you in the mortal realm,” chided Silent Cry.

“No, I’m just... making conversation before I start talking about my own problems. As you can guess, I’m not too eager to start,” admitted Twilight with a sigh.

“Yeah, you’ve only been avoiding me for years. It’s not like I’m due to expire soon and you wanted to make sure you actually got to talk to me before I croak,” said Silent Cry.

Twilight glared at the old mare.

“I’m kidding dear, though I suppose I should apologize. I know what you had to go through, and why you’d want some time to yourself first. But at least tell me you haven’t been doing the same thing as Applejack and Pinkie Pie. You have been telling your friends about all your regrets, not just the ones you feel like sharing, right?” asked Silent Cry.

“Yes, I’ve been honest with them. And I’m not going to pretend I’m already over what I went through for the last two hundred years. Just look at me. I doubt I’ll be able to fully recover for some time. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about,” said Twilight.

“Then get on with it. I’m not getting any younger here,” said Silent Cry.

Twilight sighed, but didn’t look away.

“When I look back at my life, I can’t help but feel like the entire world was watching me. I mean, I was Celestia’s personal student, the bearer of the Element of Magic, and the Ministry Mare of one of the largest scientific communities in recorded history. One could call it destiny, I suppose, but it did seem like I held the world’s future in my hooves from the day I was born. Well, the consequences of our efforts show that this was likely the case, but my point stands.”

“I never really understood the burden Celestia lived under until I inherited part of it myself. As my power and influence grew, so did my fears and concerns that I’d mess up. More and more ponies turned toward me to find the solution. More and more pressure was put upon me to fix things. I don’t think I need to tell you that I don’t do well with stress.”

“But in the end, I have no one to blame for that but myself. I agreed along with my friends to form a Ministry that would harness my talents to their fullest. I was the leader, to an extent. If I thought that we should merge our ministries and work together instead of focusing on our individual talents, we’d probably have turned the war around. I don’t know if that moment was the one when I failed to measure up to my destiny, but it was definitely the wrong move.”

“Do you know why Magic is the central Element? It’s not necessarily the most important or the most powerful, but it’s the one that is the main focus of their power. Why? Because that’s what friendship is: a magical force that can pull the most unlikely of ponies together through the worst of times.”

“Would a scholar, a party planner, a farmer, a weather pony, a fashionista, and an animal caretaker have anything to do with each other if they weren't friends? How about a repairpony, a singer turned medic, a drifter, a soldier, and a former slave? It would take a miracle to pull such a party together and keep it together, yet that is exactly what happened.”

“Everything that’s happen these past few years? It has been the result of friendship. Friendship born from the harshest conditions imaginable, but ultimately no different than the ones I forged in my lifetime. Nations rise and fall, ponies live and die, but in the end friendship has been there keeping ponies together and pushing them ever forward.”

“And I lost sight of that. Me, the bearer of Magic itself, forgot that. I was the one who pulled us all together. I was the one who kept us together against all the chaos the world threw at us. And yet, when I should have pulled us together once again, I just let us drift apart. It was always a flaw of mine: my obsessions. I got it into my head that it was up to me to find a way to end the stalemate, and turned my back to everything else. All I could focus on was helping Equestria, blindly pushing towards what I assumed was the answer.”

“Nothing good comes from pursuing your goals without considering the consequences. The others may blame themselves for not seeing that until it was too late, but I should have known before the decision was even made. I mean, it was written in our history books, for fuck’s sake!” cried Twilight as she slammed her hoof into her face.

“Really? Since when did Equestria have a history of making poor decisions that led to the end of the world?” asked Silent Cry with a raised eyebrow.

“Do you know the history of Hearth’s Warming? I don’t mean the story we told our fillies and colts, I mean do you know the actually history behind the holiday?” asked Twilight.

Silent Cry shook her head. Twilight responded with a sigh.

“It’s to be expected, I suppose. So much has been lost over these last few centuries. The truth is that the struggle of our founders was far worse than you realize. You see, the windigos never existed. They were a metaphor for the hatred that pervaded ponies hearts in those days. It wasn’t an eternal winter that drove ponies away from their homeland. It was a war.”

“It was known back then as the Singular War, because it was believed that the war would never end as long as there was more than one pony race. The three tribes had always hated each other, but at that moment in history, it reached the point it turned into outright attempted genocide. It’s unclear exactly how long the war lasted, but the consequences were far reaching.”

“The homeland was ruined beyond any hope of recovery. Countless books, records, and arts were destroyed. And worst of all, ponies died. Many, many ponies died. So many, that when the events of the children’s story took place, ponykind was on the brink of extinction. There were so few of them left that they were forced to put aside their differences and unite their tribes or risk dying out.”

“While the founders are remembered as ponies who learned about the magic of friendship and united the tribes as a result, the truth is that it’s the other way around. They united the tribes, and then learned that they weren’t as bad as they’d thought. It took the near extinction of our race to end the hatred between the tribes and allow friendship into our lives.”

“Do you see the parallels? The ways we failed to learn from history and instead simply repeated it? And in our case, the war and near extinction didn’t even result in friendship blooming between the warring nations. It took two hundred years and another pony willing to sacrifice so much for the hatred to truly start to die out.”

“And that's my biggest regret. I was the book lover. I was the one who knew the full story, but I didn’t take it to heart. I didn’t listen to the warnings of the past, and repeated the same mistakes as our ancestors. Once again, life on the world was nearly extinguished, but this time it can not be blamed on ignorance to a better way, but instead on choosing not to pursue it,” finished Twilight.

Silent Cry remained silent for a moment before speaking.

“Twilight Sparkle, if just writing down the world’s problems would fix them, world peace would have been established shortly after ponies invented the alphabet. Yes, you failed to learn from history, as there will no doubt be others who will fail to learn from what has transpired now, but there is a very simple reason for this: knowing is not the same as understanding. It’s easy to read about ancient pony and point out their mistakes. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, after all. It’s far less easy to recognize those mistakes when you’re making them yourself,” said Silent Cry.

Twilight sighed.

“That part I understand, but I don’t see how that helps me. Just saying lots of ponies made the same mistakes as me doesn’t mean I didn’t make them, or that they didn’t have far reaching consequences,” admitted Twilight.

“That’s because finding peace isn’t about seeking justice, or a way to repent for your mistakes. It’s about acknowledging that you made them, accepting that they had negative effects on the world, and forgiving yourself for making them. You’re dead, Twilight Sparkle. The only living pony who even knows you’re still around will be dead soon, too. You no longer have the ability to try to make amends for your misdeeds. All you can do is ask for forgiveness, and offer it to those who wronged you in return.”

“I have never pretended to understand how life and death works. Maybe the only reason you’re going to paradise is because you saved the world several times. Maybe only ponies who don’t know regret go to Tartarus. Maybe this whole thing is just the result of some twisted part of my brain and I’ve wasted my life chasing shadows. But if it is real, then the fact remains: the powers that be have decided you deserve forgiveness, and that’s what you should seek.”

“And really, you of all ponies have no right to complain. You got to help the living world before you finished dieing. You got to save the life of the Stable Dweller. And before you say how helping one pony doesn’t make up for however many you indirectly killed, I again remind you that most souls don’t even get that much once they die,” said Silent Cry.

“Well, yes, but I wasn’t the only one. The crusaders gave her a home to grow up in. Applejack provided a gun for her to protect herself with, and her husband walked with her. Rarity gave her strength as she went on her journey. Pinkie was the one who gave her direction, and Rainbow gave her the tools to bring back the sun,” admitted Twilight.

“Yes, you’ve all had the opportunity to help the Stable Dweller in some small way, intentional or otherwise. Your own little penances. Especially you, I imagine. It was your brainchild that restored life to the wasteland, after all,” said Silent Cry.

Twilight gave a soft smile.

“That will be you and your friends’ legacy, you mark my words. As long as we’re repeating history, I’m willing to wager the part about exaggerating our champions will repeat as well. You’ll be remember as great heroes who failed to stop the unimaginable evil but left behind a great power that guided the chosen ones to save the world, not as the ponies who inadvertently ended it,” said Silent Cry.

“That’s almost as bad as being remembered for the truth. I certainly don’t deserve to so fondly remembered by history,” confessed Twilight with a shake of her head.

“Bah, leave history to the living ponies who write it down. If anypony even mentions me in the history books, it be ‘oh yeah, that soul helping thing showed up around here too. If they’re even real, that is.’ Nopony should strive to appear in the history books. Ponies should strive to make history happen around them, or least aim to leave a positive mark before they leave. I dare say you and your friends left positive marks, even with all the negative ones you left as well,” said Silent Cry.

Twilight didn’t say anything, but her expression spoke volumes of gratitude.

They sat together in silence for a minute, reflecting on their discussion.

“So then, you mentioned that you had something else to tell me? And don’t say it’s about me writing down ancient knowledge you don’t want lost forever,” said Silent Cry.

“I admit I was tempted when I first heard about you, but no. It’s about Fluttershy,” said Twilight.

“I see. I always admired Fluttershy, you know. Maybe it was just because I was raised by a doctor, but I did. Last I heard that one group, the Followers of Apocalypse I believe, had freed her from her enchanted prison and are trying to help her recover as we speak,” said Silent Cry.

“Yes, but it’s been an uphill battle. She was awake during her two hundred years as a tree. She went insane, all the way through back to sanity, and fell once again down into madness. It’s been a few years since she was rescued, but she still has a very long way to go. As you can imagine, it’s been very painful for me and the girls to just sit back and watch her twist and turn in agony,” explained Twilight.

Silent Cry let out a sigh and leaned back into her chair.

“That poor mare, just trying to find a way to keep everypony alive and bringing about our doom instead. I’d offer my assistance, but I doubt I’d be permitted to see her, and I may cause more harm than good. My talents lie with helping a pony accept their pain. What that pony needs now is a way to fight through hers. A reminder of her mistakes would likely only make things worse,” said Silent Cry.

“We figured as much as well. She needs professional help right now, not just an understanding shoulder to lean on. That said, me and the girls figured that we could ask if you might be willing to do us a favor,” said Twilight.

“A favor?” asked Silent Cry.

“Yes. Like you said, the dead can’t make an impact on the world, but we can still share our thoughts with you. And, well, we were wondering... would you be willing to share them with Fluttershy?” asked Twilight.

Silent Cry raised an eyebrow, but then smiled.

“Well, my writing hoof isn’t what it used to be, but I reckon I can write a few letters without too much difficulty. I take it the others are all waiting for my approval?” asked Silent Cry.

At that moment, several familiar ghosts entered the building, all with eager, but nervous expressions.

“Alright then. And maybe I can add something of my own to help her, too. Hm... perhaps I’ll arrange to have some of my memories recorded to memory orbs. There’s that one pony in Tenpony Tower who still owes me a favor...” said Silent Cry.

The memory faded.

Chapter 7 : Naivety

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“With me, what you see is what you get. Yes, call me naive, but I love life. ... I do like to see the best in people, and when someone is nice to my face, I tend to believe them.”
- Joyce Giraud

Hey Fluttershy,

It’s me, Rainbow Dash. I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, or if you’ll believe it’s from me if you do, but there’s something I need to tell you.

I don’t think I ever said this while I was alive, so I’m saying it now: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I called you a traitor. I’m sorry I always yelled at you. Ah heck, I’m sorry for a lot of things. But most of all, I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. I wasn’t there when you needed advice, and I wasn’t there when you needed a friend. I get that you're probably blaming yourself for everything that happened, but I want you to know that it’s not your fault, not entirely. The rest of us should have done more to help you.

At least you actually tried to make things better. Yeah, it didn’t work out as planned, but you did try. I never did. I regret that more than anything else I did during the war. I don’t want to see you beating yourself up because you decided that something needed to be done. Something did need doing, and you were the one who tried to do what you thought was it. We were all just too blind to realize you had a point.

So don’t blame it all on yourself. Just look around you, Fluttershy. The world is healing. The war is over. Things could have gone better, but everything is starting to turn out OK. I bet you won’t settle for that, though. As soon as you’ve recovered, you’re going to go out there and try to help as many ponies and non-ponies as you can. Because you’ve always been a doer, Fluttershy, and I know you’ll succeed this time.

And don’t worry about me, or the others. We’re dead, but we’re not going anywhere. We’ve stuck around for a good two hundred years, so what’s a dozen or so more among friends? We’ll gladly wait as long as we need to.

See ya on the other side when that day comes, Flutters.

-Rainbow Dash

Dear Fluttershy,

This letter is from Rarity, if you can believe that. I know last you saw me I was dying, but I hope you will believe this letter comes from me all the same.

I know you are hurting, Fluttershy. The guilt you feel is much like my own. I look out into ruins of the world every day and ask myself why I wasn’t able to prevent it all. But you must understand, guilt is far more complicated than simply what poor decisions we’ve made. It also has a lot to do with intention.

We all tried to end the war. We all failed in the end, but we can at least look back on our mistakes and say that they were, in fact, mistakes. We weren’t bad ponies, trying to spread death and destruction wherever we could, and neither were you. You might consider yourself the one who doomed us all, but that is simply not true.

There is no reason to be ashamed of misplaced trust. There is nothing wrong with wanting the believe in the best of others. Perhaps you should have waited for a second opinion, but did I or any of your friends offer you the chance to receive one? We are just as responsible. The blame for the end of the war does not lie squarely on you, Fluttershy.

I forgive you. We all forgive you. So please, dear Fluttershy, try to forgive yourself. The world has no more room for loathing and hatred, even if it’s directed at oneself. What it needs now is more kindness. Kindness that you can offer to the world, even if it’s just offering hope to others by simply living.

So please, live on. Live on so that my death wasn’t in vain. I don’t blame you for my untimely demise, but I shall have some strong words to say if you try to join us before your time comes! You have been given the gift of a chance to make a difference, and I hope that you will take full advantage of it.

Take care of yourself, Fluttershy. As long as you hold my statuettes, I will be there to comfort your dreams.

Sincerely yours,

-Rarity

Hi Fluttershy,

It’s me, Pinkie Pie. Yeah, I’m sending you a letter from beyond the grave because I figured you’d appreciate it if I didn’t show up to haunt you face to face.

I hope I managed to make you smile there. I know how hard it is for you to smile after everything. I’m sorry that I can’t be there and hug you, but I want you to know that I am with you all the same. I’m always here, hoping against hope that I’ll see your soft, calm, and beautiful smile again some day. But don’t you go smiling just for the sake of smiling. I know a fake one when I see it. What I want more than anything is for you to be happy again.

That might sound like I’m asking a lot, but I know you can do it. You’ve always been so much stronger than you seem. I still remember the fire in your eyes whenever that strength came out. I know that strength is still there. It’s probably very weak right now, but it’s there. And I know that once you get it together, you’ll use it and try to make the world a better place.

So I’m not going to asking you to stay strong. I know you will. I’m asking you to remember that it’s OK to be happy again. Things are getting better. Equestria’s future looks bright. Our mistakes are starting to be undone. There is plenty to be happy about, Fluttershy. Don’t think you don’t deserve to smile.

So go and find something to be happy about. And don’t worry about us. Seeing you up and moving, doing what you do best, will be the single greatest thing you can do for us. I have a party all planned out for when we meet again, but that’s one party I’ll be happy to keep putting off for as long as possible.

Have a happy rest of your life, Fluttershy.

With love,

-Pinkie Pie

P.S. By the way Gummy is still around, and he’s a great listener if you need someone to talk to. Just thought you’d like to know.

Hey Fluttershy,

Applejack here. I’m hoping you’ve read several of the other’s letters by now, so you know it’s really me.

I know how you feel right now. You feel like the whole world is looking at you and saying that everything wrong in the world is your fault. It seems like nopony is willing to forgive you, and you don’t deserve it anyway. You know I’ve always been an honest pony, so believe me when I say that everything I just described is a load of horseapples.

I can name a lot of things wrong in the world that you had nothing to do with. In fact, I can name several things wrong in the world that you helped get rid of. Do you remember when you tried to ease the pain of others during the war? How many lives you saved as things got worse? You’ve always been a kind pony, Fluttershy. The war never took that away from you, and I reckon these long years haven’t taken it away either.

You’re not a bad pony, even if you feel like one right now. And I know that if you work up the courage to ask, the ponies around you will say they don’t think you’re a bad pony either. Everypony knows the truth about you: how you only wanted all the killing to end. And even if you don't believe them, there’s something I want you consider before you start thinking you don’t deserve to live anymore: bad ponies don’t regret their mistakes.

It takes a special kind of pony to look at what you did wrong and realize that it was a bad decision; to know you could have done better and wish you had. If you can look into the mirror and be honest about your mistakes, then it’s a sign you have hope yet for forgiveness.

So be honest with yourself, Fluttershy. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you did worse things than you actually did. That’s a lesson I learned the hard way, and I don’t want to see you learn it that way too.

There’s a lot more I’d like to say, but I don’t want this poor mare’s hoof to fall off writing it down. And I think the rest can wait until we see each other again. So I guess I’ll see you around, Fluttershy. Keep being that kind mare I remember.

-Applejack

Fluttershy,

It’s us, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo’s here too, but she’s still kind of out of it.

That said, she wants you to know just how sorry we are. We all do. We never really connected to you as well as we should have when we had the chance. Maybe then we could have paid you back for everything you did for us.

Do you remember when you used to babysit us? That time we wandered into the Everfree Forest? The courage you showed that night was amazing. Not many ponies can march into certain danger when they’re completely terrified. But you did. You did without a moment’s hesitation once you realized where we had gone.

Courage is a funny thing. It doesn’t guarantee you’ll succeed, or that what you’re brave enough to attempt is the right thing to do, but it’s still one of those things that’s so important for ponies to do what needs to be done.

And you had the courage to turn against Equestria in the hopes of ending the war. You were so determined to save lives that you were willing to give such powerful magic to the enemy. But you know what? You gave far more to save everyone than anypony else. Even us, the ones who built the Stables.

That’s because you didn’t give up. You believed that ponies and zebras were still good on the inside. That if we could just let go of our hatred and need to vengence everything would turn out alright. The three of us just threw in the towel and said that everything in the world was wrong and needed to change.

And in the end, you were right. When ponies let go of their fear and despair, they came together and saved the world. You may blame yourself for everything that went wrong, but even with your mistakes, you were the one who was right all along.

So don’t you go beating yourself up like Scootaloo did. The only thing you did wrong was trusting the wrong zebras. You still cared about everyone even as we were destroying each other. And as long as you keep caring, you’ll be able to keep helping others. And we know that you will.

Take care of yourself Fluttershy,

-Apple Bloom & Sweetie Belle.

Dear Fluttershy,

It’s me, Twilight Sparkle.

I’m certain you've been hearing time and time again how you shouldn’t blame yourself. I’m going to say it as well, but I also know how hard it is to accept that. So please let me tell you about my own problems for bit.

I’ve spent the last two hundred years as part of a mess that was only making things worse. And while I bear guilt for my actions during the war, I also bear a fair amount of guilt for my actions as part of that collective conscious. I wasn’t the primary mind, so a lot of what happened wasn’t my decision, in a way. But could I have done more? Could I have convinced the mare in charge do better? Now that we’re both free she’s insisted that I never could have, but I’m still not sure if she’s just saying that because of her own guilt.

And that guilt is what I want to talk about. Guilt may feel like a terrible thing, but that’s because guilt is the acknowledgement that we made mistakes that had consequences. It’s the feeling of being disappointed in ourselves. To feel guilt is to know that we could have done better, but didn’t. But here’s the thing: just because we feel guilty about something doesn’t mean it could have been helped.

Could I have done more during the war? Yes. Could I have done more as part of that mess of Alicorns? Not likely. And yet, to me it feels as if both crimes are of equal guilt. But are they? I don’t know. And neither does anyone else. Here I am, dead, and yet I still have no idea what lies beyond, or why I’m going where I am, or if I even deserve it.

And that’s what I want you to take away from this letter, Fluttershy. We both know mortal ponies are unfit to judge the souls of other mortals. What we tend to forget is that this includes our own souls. You cannot judge yourself with any level of clarity. And as a fellow mortal, I say that your crimes are forgivable. The blame you throw onto yourself is no more “official” than my forgiveness.

So don’t blame yourself, Fluttershy. Look at your mistakes and try to do better. And I know you will. You don’t have to be a scholar to be able to learn from yourself. You just need to be able to acknowledge when you did something wrong. And if you can feel guilt, it’s a clear sign that you can learn.

Take care, Fluttershy. I’ll see you again in the next world.

Your friend,

-Twilight Sparkle

Epilogue: Death

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“You can't be scared of death. When that time comes, it comes.”
- Sean Taylor

There were two more letters in the package. However, both had notes saying that they were meant for the Light Bringer. Apparently, the sender wasn’t sure how to reach her and had sent them along with the rest in the hopes that they would be passed on. The Followers agreed to forward the letters without opening them.

Interestingly, one was sealed with the mark of Applejack’s Rangers, and the other was sealed with Celestia’s cutie mark.

A hooded mare laid on a hill near the SPP hub. She had been there for some time now. The mare was old. Very old. So old that at a glance it was hard to tell if she was still alive.

But she must have been, as without any clear incentive, she began to speak.

“So you've finally come, then?” she asked.

…

...

There was no one around to answer. She continued speaking all the same.

“Of course I did. You’re the only soul I still need to speak with. You weren’t coming to me, so I had to come to you.”

…

...

“Yes, actually. Do I look like I’m long for this world? I’ve already made my goodbyes. Once our conversation is finished, I shall be joining you.”

…

...

“Yes.”

…

...

“And you would know?”

…

“Really now? Death incarnate?”

…

...

“Then why, pray tell, have you been avoiding every soul that's come your way?”

…

...

“I see. Well then, where’s your sythe?”

…

“Even if I were willing to buy that you don’t have to guide every individual soul, I refuse to believe that you are death itself if you don’t have a sythe.”

…

...

“Yes, but traditionally death also doesn’t walk among mortal ponies for over a millennium.”

…

...

“You’re only reinforcing my point. You are not death.”

…

“No, you’re not.”

…

“No, you’re not.”

...

“Do you want to do this back and forth until I drop dead? I’ll do it if I must.”

…

The elderly mare winced and lowered her body, as if she were being yelled at.

…

...

The mare leaned back up.

“And you took their souls from their bodies? Directly, I mean.”

…

...

“Then guess what? That doesn’t make you death.”

…

...

“As you said, death isn’t some cloaked skeleton with a pointy stick. It is a part of life. In fact, it’s the only guarantee of life. I suppose one could joke about taxes, but Equestria’s gone without them for two hundred years, so I’d wager that old saying doesn’t hold up. But there’s one other thing that’s guaranteed in life: loss.”

…

...

“Yes, everyone. The poor lose the joys of life they never knew. The rich lose everything they have when they die. Those who know love lose those close to them. Those who are alone lose the love they could have forged. Even those who die in their infancy lose the life they could have grown up to live. And yet, though we all suffer different forms of loss, death is the consistent inevitability we all face.”

…

“Precisely. Though I do have to ask: do Alicorns ever die from natural causes?”

…

“I suspected as much. But as I was saying, you are not death because death isn’t something you can personify. Yes, death followed you your whole life. And you have reason to believe that every major decision you made lead to a great deal of death and suffering. But you know what? You’re wrong about that part too.”

…

...

“Well, there’s that prophecy, for example. You know perfectly well that wasn’t your fault.”

…

...

“Oh, and I suppose you could have known about that before you died?”

…

...

“Ah. So that’s what this is about then. You do realize that this doesn’t make you any worse than anypony else, right?”

…

...

“By that logic, Fluttershy should be death, not you.”

…

...

“My point stands. Just because you were the inspiration for the end of the world does not mean you were responsible.”

…

...

“So nopony ever loved you? Is that what you’re saying?”

…

“Even your sister?”

…

...

“You do realize just how horrible that sounds, right?”

…

....

“And if that’s true, then what you said earlier must be false. All the blame lies with her, not you.”

…

...

“Don’t you try to outmaneuver me. You’re the one who set up this paradox.”

…

...

“Alright then. I guess this means you never loved her either.”

…

The mare leaned down again.

…

...

…

The mare leaned back up.

…

...

…

The mare reached over, as if she were hugging someone.

“Yes. And you have to admit it's a sign you’re not a bad pony, either. Who could love death itself?”

…

...

“Yes.”

…

...

“I don’t have to. When you’ve reached my age, you just get a feeling of how these things work.”

…

...

“Perhaps, but you sure don’t look it.”

…

...

“You have a very nice laugh, you know. You should use it more often.”

…

...

“Certainly. I actually sent a letter to her some time ago telling her I would be here. I can’t promise she’ll see it, or that she’ll believe me, but I will gladly say what you ask.”

…

...

The mare turned toward the tower.

“Celestia, your sister wants you to know that she is sorry for everything. For failing to step up and filling your roll when you needed her. For failing to realize how important she was in zebra beliefs. For pulling apart Equestria’s heroes when the world needed them most. But most of all, she is sorry for once again separating the two of you for such a great length of time.”

“But she also promises to remain with you, unseen, until you find your own rest. She misses you, but she does not want you to seek to end your existance simple to see her again. She says that if you were able to wait a thousand years to reunite with her, she shall be willing to wait twice as long in return.”

…

...

“You're welcome. Though again, I cannot make any promises.”

…

...

“Yes actually. If you had waited until I died it would have been my greatest regret that we never spoke. It would have been quite difficult to avoid me then.”

…

...

“Indeed. Everypony knows patience is a virtue, after all.”

Some time later, the mare was discovered dead with a smile on her face. It was never determined what exactly she was doing all the way out there.

Fallout: Equestria - Echoes of the Ministries

by Banjo64

Prologue: The Package

Chapter 1: Inaction

Chapter 2: Dismissal

Chapter 3: Indecision

Chapter 4: Heartbreak

Chapter 5: Despair

Chapter 6: Obsession

Chapter 7 : Naivety

Epilogue: Death