Six ponies. Six weapons. Nine rooms. It's a simple question. Who did it, and where, and with what?
Who killed Home Body? Was it Peacock Poppycock in the Library with the Revolver? Was it Green Mail in the Study with the Rope? Was it Plum Pudding in the Ballroom with the Knife?
When Mr. Home Body invites his six best friends to be his guests at his mansion just outside of Ponyville, anything can happen! Can you follow along with their antics and match up characters and crimes? Thirteen daily mini-mysteries will test your ability as a sleuth!
All artwork used in this fic belongs to the very talented GatesMcCloud, and you can find more of their work here: http://gatesmccloud.deviantart.com/
Greetings! My name is Home Body and I will be your host for the week. I’m glad you’re here. My other guests have already arrived and are waiting on us to join them in the study. I hope you’re ready for a pleasant and relaxing time. So long as no one gets murdered, that is…
Oh, I didn’t mean to startle you! It’s just that my guests tend to… get a little excited when we get together. Don’t get me wrong, they are a wonderful group of ponies to have around and they usually get along quite marvelously. Of course, there was that one time the Colonel tried to thwack Professor Plum over the head with the Wrench in the Kitchen over the last piece of pie. But to be fair, it was a really delicious pie!
You know, perhaps you could lend me a hoof. Sort of keep an eye out for anything suspicious, would you? Look for clues and such. That way should anything happen, you could tell me who did it. Not that anything will, of course. But you never know…
You only have six suspects, erm, I mean my maid and guests, to watch out for. Of course, I will never be a suspect! The six suspects are:
Green Mail: A truly talented business-pony. He’s got quite the skill at squeezing the most use out of every last bit. And out of his various debtors too, from what I hear.
Colonel H. Mustard: The good Colonel will be glad to tell you a tale from his days in service to the Princesses. And after he's talked your ears off, you might not be very glad you gave him the chance.
Peacock Poppycock: Peacock may be an irredeemable gossip, but she does have a heart of gold! Someday I will have to ask where she got it from, and if its previous owners will want it back.
Professor Plum Pudding: The epitome of a brilliant researcher, Plum has more projects in the works than most ponies can count. Too bad he can only afford to fund a fraction of them…
Scarlet Letter: The first time I met this ravishing beauty, I told her to "Make herself feel at home". She stays over so often now that I sometimes wonder which of us is the guest these days...
White Wash: My loyal maid. She’s worked under me quite happily for many years. I’m sure the poison in my coffee this morning was just an honest mistake.
Confused? Don’t worry, every mystery always has a way to solve it. Just take your time, read through your notes carefully, and I’m sure no puzzle will stump the likes of you! But just in case I’ll provide a list of suspects, weapons, and rooms so that you can check off your clues until you’ve narrowed it down to a culprit.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be going. I, er, just heard a bloodcurdling scream coming from the Study…
“EEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Peacock Poppycock squealed, clapping her hooves together like a small filly, “Do it again! Do it again!”
“Yes, please,” Scarlet Letter said, sliding onto the couch next to Plum Pudding. She trailed a hoof through his mane playfully and gave him her best smile. “It’s such a lovely little toy!”
“Err… it’s not meant to be a toy…” Plum started, embarrassed, but he didn’t get to add anything else before Home Body burst into the room.
“What happened? I heard a scream!” he shouted, looking around the room for the trouble.
Peacock bounced over to his side and pulled him to the little table in the middle of the study. “Home, you have to see what Plum has made! It’s simply adorable!”
“Oh very well, one more time…” Plum said. He reached over to a wooden box resting on the table and wound a little spring on the side. The top opened up and a little clockwork blue unicorn rose out from inside, accompanied by the tinkle of a familiar tune. The little unicorn pirouetted a few times before lowering back down into the box. The lid closed with a slow click and cut the music off.
Scarlet clapped her hooves happily. “Absolutely divine, Plum!”
White Wash rolled her eyes and went back to dusting the curtains with an old feather duster. “Hrmph, seems like a childish thing to me…”
“Reminds me of something I once saw in the Princess’s guest room,” Colonel H. Mustard huffed, polishing his monocle, “Why, back when I stood personal guard over-”
“Perhaps I’m not seeing it,” Body said, a little confused. “Isn’t it just a normal music box?”
“That’s because you haven’t caught on to the trick yet!” Green Mail said with a predatory glint in his eye. He leaned across the table and pulled the music box towards himself, but paused and gave the professor his most charming smile. “You don’t mind, do you? It really only shines on the second run though.”
Plum swallowed uncertainly, but one look at the curiosity on his host’s face swayed his mind. “Alright, one more time, but it’s really delicate and…”
“Righty-O!” Green said cheerfully, starting to wind the key.
“No! Let me play it again!” Peacock said, reaching over and turning it herself. The lid popped open and the music started to play again, but this time a green and yellow pegasus rose out from inside. Body leaned forward and peered into the open box. There was no sign of the other doll anywhere inside. After a few turns the pegasus sank down and the lid closed.
“Amazing! But what happened to the other one?” Home asked.
Plum straightened in his seat, eager to talk about his work. "It’s just a little device I put together to exhibit a simple transmutation spell encoded on a magic core. The figurine is the same, but its appearance changes each time you turn the key. I put it together to demonstrate the principle to some students, and investors, who…”
“You’re just not seeing the possibilities here!” Green interrupted. He came around the table and spoke eagerly to the professor. “I could take this off your hooves for you. Show it to the right ponies, and we could make a real profit!”
“That little toy’s worth money?” White asked sarcastically, but eyed the box out of the corner of her eye while she worked anyway. When she thought not one was looking she took one of the candlesticks off the mantle place and slipped it into her apron.
“As I was saying, the Princess had something similar,” Mustard tried again, “I recall that it was both crystal and porcelain, and it stood about yea high…”
“It’s really impressive!” Home said, completely ignoring the Colonel. Mustard sulked over to the corner of the room and made a show of pointedly ignoring the others in turn.
Scarlet tossed her mane dramatically and leaned her head on Plum’s shoulder. “Such a lovely box would make a wonderful gift for a special somepony, wouldn’t you think? I know I would simply love to be given such a thing…”
“Uh… well, I…” Plum stammered, taken aback.
“No, I want it!” Peacock exclaimed. She rushed over to the snack tray, used the knife to cut out a large slice of White’s World Famous white almond pie, and brought it over to the professor. “You want to give it to me instead, right?”
“Wait, I don’t…” Plum started.
“Shouldn’t you act more your age?” Scarlet asked archly, nonchalantly snatching the knife off Plum’s plate and hiding it behind her back. “I’m sure he’d rather give it to me, wouldn’t you, darling?”
“Well it’s my birthday this weekend,” Peacock huffed, thinking about the weapon she had hid up in her room, “And I think a lovely music box would make a fine present!”
“Let me sell it!” Green insisted, leaning uncomfortably close over the back of the sofa. “We could make a tidy profit off this in the local toy market!”
All three ponies made a grab for the music box, but Plum got to it first. He leapt off the couch, pulling it protectively close to his chest with his magic. “No! I need this for my lecture next week! I shouldn’t have even brought it out yet! It’s going right back to my room where it’ll be safe!” So saying, he dashed from the study before anypony could speak.
“Look what you’ve gone and done,” Home said crossly, “You’ve all upset him. I hope each of you is going to apologize to him right away!”
A collectively muttered agreement ran around the room, accompanied by much shuffling of hooves and downcast eyes. When the professor reappeared before supper everypony rushed over each other to make up with him for their behavior, and they all spent the remainder of the night in high spirits.
The door to Plum’s room slowly swung ajar and an eye peered through the gap. The purple pony lay fast asleep in his bed, snoring so loudly that the intruder started to feel a little foolish about trying so hard to keep quiet. They pushed the door open the rest of the way and tiptoed inside.
The room was a cluttered mess of junk and doodads, clothing and books, half-eaten pieces of fruit and empty luggage. There was such a mess that a casual observer would be forgiven for thinking that Plum had been living here for weeks, rather than having just arrived the other day like the rest of the guests.
“Just as messy as his mind,” the intruder whispered to themselves, picking carefully through the mess so as not to trip.
It took them almost ten minutes of sorting through the junk before they discovered the music box stuffed hastily under the bed. The thief hefted the box a few times and sneaked over to the room’s only window. Slowly they pulled open the shutter and leaned out.
“This is for stealing my spotlight,” the pony whispered, preparing to heave the music box into the night.
A second pony shot in through the window hind legs first, catching the first clean on the chin. The first thief back flipped onto a soft pile of clothing, unconscious. The second thief stood and retrieved the rope they had used to rappel down from the floor above, closing the window.
“Thanks for opening the window for me,” the second thief whispered as they rolled the first safely under Plum’s bed where they wouldn’t be found until morning, “But watch what you’re doing with my precious music box!”
Done hiding the evidence of the first thief, the pony looked around for the box and spotted it lying on the pillow next to the professor’s head. They crept over and lifted it in their wings delicately and studied it carefully, making sure there was no damage to it.
They were so intent on the box that they didn’t notice a third thief slowly enter the room, shutting the door and tiptoeing up behind them. The new pony thwacked the second thief in the back of the head, rolled their unconscious form in the only hiding place they could find, under the bed, and retrieved the box.
Plum gave a great snore as the pony turned to leave. “Really deep sleeper, aren’t you?” he whispered before hurrying to the door. The door suddenly swung open and caught the thief right in the face. The thief dropped the box and slumped against the door, getting pushed behind it as the newcomer heaved on it to get it all the way open.
“Such a mess,” they huffed, assuming they were pushing junk aside to open the door. They blinked as they saw the music box lying innocently on the floor right in front of the door. “Sweet!”
The pony picked up the music box, nestling it next to the lead pipe in their foreleg, and walked backed to their room. They couldn’t believe how easy that had been.
“It’s so hot out today,” Scarlet Letter moaned, stifling a yawn as she lounged across the Lounge’s most comfy divan. “I just want to lie here and do nothing all day!”
“It must be nice to just lay around all day, but somepony’s got to do all the chores…” White Wash muttered through her teeth, pushing a trolley balanced with porcelain teacups through the room.
Green Mail picked up one of the cups and sipped it without looking away from his newspaper. His eyes bulged and he sprayed the drink all over the paper. “Bleh! Tea, on a day like today? Can’t we have something to cool us down? My mam always squeezed me fresh lemonade when it was this hot out.”
White’s face scrunched up as if she’d just bitten into a lemon, but she grabbed the trolley in her teeth and backed out of the room. “Oh sure, why not, not like I don’t have anything better to do…”
“My first business was a lemonade stand,” Green continued, his eyes all misty with memory, “I could squeeze seven bits of juice out of a single lemon! Of course, only a fool would sell it for less than twice that…”
Plum Pudding moaned from where he lay against the far wall. “Blah, don’t talk to me about drinks right now. I’m so hot I might dunk my head in a glass rather than drink it!”
“There’s got to be some way to cool off,” Colonel H. Mustard sighed, fanning himself futilely with his wings, “Don’t you have a pool, Body?”
Home Body shook his head and continued staring out the window, “It’s being cleaned today.”
“Go out somewhere? There’s an ice cream place in town,” Plum suggested.
“Too hot to move,” Scarlet said, rolling over in an attempt to find a cooler spot on the divan.
“Don’t you know the Princess?” Green asked, squinting at Mustard. “Maybe you can send her a letter and get her to rein in the sun a bit?”
Mustard looked absolutely terrified at the thought and hurried to hide it with a cough. “Well, I mean… I can’t just walk all the way to Canterlot on a whim, you know. And I’m sure she, uh, doesn’t have time to listen to every pony who complains about the heat, in fact, I bet she’s got a long line of ponies already who are bugging her about the heat-”
Scarlet groaned and pulled one of the pillows over her head. “Enough! It’s too hot to listen to all this talking!”
“Hey guys!” Peacock Poppycock said cheerfully, bouncing into the room and grinning widely at her friends. “What’re you all up to?”
Mustard blinked slowly at her and fanned himself even faster. “How can you have so much energy on a day like today?”
“Aw, you just have to have a positive attitude!” Peacock laughed as White backed into the room with a fresh trolley of drinks. She swiped one and frowned at it. “Oh no, sour drinks will never pick anypony up. Bring us something fruity!”
White opened her mouth several times, but swallowed what she wanted to say and put on a grin that showed all of her teeth. “Of course! Whatever you wish! I just love traipsing back and forth through the whole mansion, fetching this and…” The rest of her tirade was lost as she roughly shoved her trolley back out of the room.
“Poor Mrs. Wash,” Body said thoughtfully, “Maybe we should help her out with some things.”
“Do you want to get up and do chores on a day like today?” Green said, pinning his host with a look.
Body paused, glanced out the window and the blaring sun, and nodded his defeat. “Well, I suppose I can just tell her to let the chores slide for a while…”
“You can’t all mean to just lay about like logs all day?” Peacock said in surprise. “We’ve got a whole day ahead to enjoy!”
“I am become one with this couch…” came Scarlet’s muffled counter-argument from beneath her pillow.
Peacock pursed her lips in annoyance for a few seconds before a sudden idea lit a smile across her face. “I know, how about a game? You all know my new candlestick I brought with me? Well I’ve left it somewhere in the mansion. We can have a race to see who can find it first! And Home, you could provide a prize, right?”
Home Body tapped his chin thoughtfully and then nodded. “I think I could arrange somepony to bring us ice cream from that place Plum mentioned. The winner could get to pick the flavors?”
Everypony nodded and made appropriate sounds of agreement, but each of them were thinking about Poppycock’s candlestick. It was a gaudy thing, solid gold with a crust of jewels around the top. She had been brandishing it around with her for the past few days, lording over the rest of them about how fancy it was. It was also obviously worth quite a few bits as well.
“Well, let’s get to it!” Mustard said with forced cheer, leading the way out of the lounge.
As soon as he was clear of the door, Mustard bolted across the mansion to the conservatory and started kicking around through the potted plants. Green chose to start his search in the billiard room, while Plum paused outside the door of the lounge and then started slowly walking around the hall.
“I suppose I should go and tell Mrs. White she can take the rest of the day off.” Body said, rising slowly from his chair and heading off towards the kitchen.
Peacock sat down in his vacated seat and glanced over at the divan. “Don’t you want to search too?”
Scarlet slowly raised her head up, looked quickly around the room, and then ducked back down into her makeshift shade. “It’s not in the lounge,” she mumbled, burrowing deeper.
Plum gave up his search of the hall and moved into the room on the opposite side of the mansion. Green Mail poked his head out of the room he was in and watched him pass with suspicious eyes, then darted over to check out the room the Professor had just left. After a quick rummage around, Green ducked into the empty room next to that one and started moving furniture.
Mustard peered behind the last bush and wiped his brow with his foreleg, realizing too late that all the glass windows in this room were intensifying the heat. He stumbled out of the room and into the unoccupied room next door, looking for something to cool himself down with. He immediately spotted a vase of flowers full of precious water and upended the whole thing over himself.
Plum leaned out of the door and paused, listening to the two ponies talking in the room next to him.
“What do you mean, I don’t need to get drinks anymore?!” White Wash practically screeched, the force of her ire driving her cowering employer back out of the room. “I just finished setting out all these cups of fruit punch, and now you want me to toss them just like the rest?”
“I just thought… a bit of a rest…” Body said miserably, failing to find the words.
“And who’s going to wash all these dirty cups, then?” White demanded, “I suppose you’ll all want something to drink out of at lunch? Which I haven’t even started on yet, thanks to this whole adventure! No one ever thinks of the help, no sir, and that’s not even getting into…”
Plum Pudding, not wanting to get involved, moved past them and into the room on the other side to continue his hunt.
“Anything yet?” Mustard asked casually, as he and Green stepped out of their respective rooms at the same time.
“No, nothing yet,” Green said casually.
The two ponies eyed each other suspiciously for a moment before slipping past each other. Mustard went two rooms clockwise from the one he’d left, and Green entered the room three rooms counterclockwise from the one he’d left. Immediately noticing that their new rooms were thoroughly searched already, they each moved one room counterclockwise.
Plum was panting with heat and exhaustion as he left his latest room. He glancing into the open door of the kitchen, noting that Home Body was standing at the sink washing cups while White Wash sipped from a mug by an open window. Not wanting to get involved, he wandered into the room Mustard had started in and found a nice hose to drink from. Refreshed, he went into the room Green had entered third to keep looking.
By this point all three hunters were getting tired of the game. Mustard dashed into the room next to the room he’d started in, but not the room Green had started in. Plum moved into the room between the one Mustard searched second and the one Green searched third.
Green, a little dizzy from the heat at this point, forgot which rooms he’d already searched and ran into the room next to the one he was in now. Fortunately, he hadn’t searched this room yet. More fortunate yet, there was something to drink. Less fortunate, there was somepony already in this room so he turned around without searching it. He was passed by Mustard, who made one last dash into the room two rooms clockwise from Plum’s current room and ran about it, flipping over paintings and peering under chairs.
A few minutes later the three stallions stumbled their way back into the lounge and collapsed into chairs.
“I can’t… find it anywhere…” Mustard panted.
“So hard… to find…” Plum huffed. “So much… running…”
“I’d pay… three bits… for a lemonade…” Green wheezed, “Or… maybe only two bits… perhaps three bits for two glasses…”
“So nopony found my candlestick?” Poppycock said in disappointment, slouching down in her seat. “I didn’t think I put it down in any hard to find place…”
“Wait,” Mustard said suspiciously, “Are you trying to say that you forgot where you left it, and this whole ‘game’ was just making us find it for you?”
Peacock smiled innocently. “Weeellllll, when you say it like thaaat…”
Mustard grunted. “Now I’m not so upset the ruddy thing is still missing!”
“No it’s not,” said a muffled voice, “I know where it is.”
The other four ponies turned incredulous looks upon Scarlet as she emerged from under the small pile of pillows she’d constructed. “What?! But how?!”
“I was watching you all run about through the open door,” Scarlet said mischievously, before pointing her hoof at a pony, “And there was only one room that only one pony set hoof in. And that pony was you!”
Who chanced upon the candlestick, and in which room?
Raucous laughter filled the lounge as Home Body made a big show of laying his father Some Body's antique cuckoo clock in the center of the room. Grinning broadly, he then proceeded to turn several very acrobatic back flips over the timepiece, flying through the air over and over again. His guests’ laughter redoubled at his antics.
“I’ve… I’ve got it!” Scarlet Letter gasped, holding her sides tightly in an attempt to calm her hysterics. “It’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!”
“Exactly right!” Body said cheerfully, ceasing his gymnastics.
His guests applauded him as he gave a quick bow and wiped a bit of sweat from his brow. They had been a bit skeptical when he’d suggested they all play a game of charades, but it was proving to be more fun than they’d anticipated.
“I never liked that movie very much,” Peacock Poppycock said, fanning herself with her hooves to cool off from her laughing fit, “Way too depressing for my tastes.”
“But a classic of suspense and psychological thrills!” Professor Plum Pudding cut in, wiping first his glasses and then his tearing eyes.
Home Body returned the antique cuckoo clock to its home on the mantle place and turned back to the group. “OK, so who wants to go next?”
“Oh, definitely me!” a pony said, bouncing up from their chair and going over to the side desk, where a top hat filled with little slips of paper lay. They dug around for a bit before removing one and frowning at the scribble written on it.
“Remember, you’re only allowed to use one item as a prop!” Home reminded them, sitting down in his favorite chair. The other five ponies nodded and leaned forward eagerly, waiting for the next round to begin.
The pony dropped the slip of paper into the desk’s drawer and then dashed across the room to where they had been sitting, pulling the wrench out from under the chair. They swung the wrench in two short chops, as if they were hitting a bell. The pony then dropped the wrench and hopped back onto their hind legs, ducking and weaving while shooting quick jabs at an invisible enemy.
“Too easy!” a pony shouted jovially, gesturing with the lead pipe, “Rock Eye, one of the greatest boxing movies of all…”
But the pony was shaking their head, indicating the guess was wrong. They made two quick slashes with their right hoof and, when that only elicited puzzled looks, held up both their hooves instead.
“Rock Eye II!” both unicorns in the room cried at once, and the player smiled and nodded. The room gave them a round of applause as the pony collected the wrench and returned to their seat.
“My turn!” one of the unicorns said, picking up a piece of paper at random and levitating it across the room. They studied it before magicking it into the drawer with the rest.
The pony thought for a second before running over to the window and leaning against one of the wall-length curtains. They ran their hooves through their mane slowly several times with their eyes closed and their head tilted back.
“Bathing? Taking a shower?” Home Body said, trying to remember which movies had famous cleaning scenes.
The unicorn’s horn lit up and the knife floated silently across the room, approaching the acting pony in a menacing manner. The knife made stabbing motions at them and the pony shied away from it, miming a silent scream.
“Psycho, the masterpiece by Hitch Crop!” Peacock Poppycock shouted, hoping out of her chair in excitement. The acting pony and the levitating knife both stopped and gave the correct guess simultaneous bows, provoking a round of laughter.
“Good one,” Green Mail said, leaning over to bump hooves with the winning guesser, “I was just about to guess that myself!”
“I’ll go next,” said the next pony, taking a slip from the hat and holding it up to the light. They thought for a second before pulling the whole desk into the center of the room. They knocked the hat onto the floor and placed the revolver in the exact center, and then they apparently started to go mad. The pony ran around the desk, occasionally stopping to point angrily over it and shout silently.
“Er, I don’t think this is the kind of movie I usually watch…” Colonel H. Mustard muttered, scratching his mane in confusion.
The pony with the wrench leaned forward. “It looks like a lot of ponies… arguing? A debate, or maybe an angry family dinner?”
“Rambling Lampoon’s Hearthswarming Vacation?” an earth pony guessed, tapping the rope thoughtfully on the arm of their chair, “No wait, The Godpony!”
Plum had been counting to himself, paying close attention to how many times the pony had stopped around the small desk, and he suddenly jumped out of his seat. “I’ve got it! Twelve Angry Stallions!”
“Yes!” the pony said, brushing her mane out of her eyes as she gratefully sat back down. “I didn’t think anypony was going to get that one! You and I should have a movie night some time, Professor!”
“Ok, OK, stand back. It’s my turn!” the pony with the candlestick said. After pushing the desk back to its original spot, the pony picked a slip from the hat and groaned out loud. “Oh come on, let me pick another one!”
“You’ve got to do it!” Body pressed, and the others nodded eagerly.
The pony sighed, then straddled the candlestick around their hind legs and started hopping around the room. They flapped their fore legs, making it look like they had wings, and pretended to cackle. Every pony fell out of their chairs laughing at how silly they looked, and the pony stopped.
“No… talking…” the pony with the lead pipe said between bellowing laughs, as the player opened their mouth angrily, “It’s against… the rules…”
The pony closed their mouth and pouted for a second, then placed the candlestick onto the desk next to the hat. They planted a candle in it and lit it, then stood behind it so the light made them look bigger and more menacing. They moved a hoof out from their head, as if they had a horn, and flapped their fore legs, as if they had wings, and started making exaggerated speaking motions.
“The Alicorn of Oz!” a pegasus, the pony with the wrench, and a stallion shouted at the same time. The acting pony nodded curtly and flopped down into their seat, blushing furiously at the laughter still surrounding them.
“It’s definitely time for me to try!” a mare said, reaching into the hat.
They read the slip of paper and pumped their hoof in victory, leaping eagerly from their seat. They brandished the rope and snapped it into the middle of the room like a whip.
“Daring Do and the Temple of Disaster!” the pony with the wrench shouted, flapping their wings in excitement.
“Really?” Scarlet Letter said, arching her eyebrow, “You liked that one? I prefer the first movie.”
But the acting pony was shaking their head, implying that they weren’t on the right track. They snapped the rope once again and this time managed to loop the end of it around the room’s modest chandelier. And then, before anypony could stop them, they leapt onto the rope and swung around the room pretending to howl.
“Watch out!” a stallion shouted, tipping back over in his chair as the pony nearly clipped him in the head. “It’s Vine Rider! Vine Rider of the Apes! Stop swinging around like a maniac!”
“Got it right!” the pony said cheerfully, dropping down and skipping to their chair. The two pegasi flew up to the chandelier and retrieved the rope for her.
“Guess I’m up,” the last pony said, striding over to the hat. The pony squinted at their piece of paper and then lifted the lead pipe to their mouth. They pretended to take nibbling bites out of it, while rotating it around in their hooves.
“Eating… corn?” a unicorn said, shifting the revolver in their lap, “Oh! Is it Fillies of the Corn?”
The pony lifted their hoof and wiggled it, implying that they were close. They then stood up and held the lead pipe upright in their fore hooves, taking a wide swing as if trying to strike something. But the lead pipe accidentally slipped out of their hooves at the apex of the swing. Everypony watched it in silence as it flew through the air and smashed straight through Some Body’s antique cuckoo clock, shattering it into hundreds of pieces.
There was stunned silence for a few heartbeats, before a voice coughed and broke the tension. “Um… is it Field of Dreams?” the pony with the knife asked, earning their fourth correct guess of the game.
Home Body was in bliss. His hoof clutched the bow tightly as it flew over the strings of his authentic Stradivarius, filling the ballroom with music. The sound rebounded off the glass windows and created a natural sound shell, directing it to the six ponies sitting in a semi-circle of chairs before him. Eyes closed, Body let the sound of his playing carry him away and he poured that feeling back into the violin with renewed energy.
Unfortunately, playing the violin was clearly not his special talent.
“It’s… wonderful, Homey!” Scarlet Letter said through clenched teeth, smiling so hard she felt her back teeth creak. She made a mental note to schedule an appointment with the local dentist.
“Yes… absolutely top notch…” Colonel H. Mustard groaned. He had wrapped the rope several times around his head to tie his ears down, but by the look on his face it wasn’t working very well.
Green Mail didn’t say anything. He was staring a little cross-eyed at the wrench in his hooves, as if weighing the pros and cons of thwacking himself senseless with it.
Peacock Poppycock swung her eyes around wildly in order to find something, anything, that could take her mind off this ordeal and focused on Plum Pudding sitting next to her. The professor was tapping his hooves and swayed along with the melody.
Peacock’s jaw dropped. “You can’t seriously be enjoying this!” she whispered into his ear.
Plum blinked at her and shrugged. “He’s actually doing pretty well!”
“I… see…” Peacock stated blandly, her left eye twitching in sympathy at several high-pitched scratches as the bow slipped in Body’s grasp. It may have been her imagination, but the ballroom's large window seemed to have more cracks in it than before the concert started.
“Oh my, just look at the day pass away!” White Wash shouted, leaping up and staring out at the sun which showed it to be no later than two in the afternoon, “I’ve got to get started on dinner! I’d better just go get on that…”
Mustard’s eyes lit up with inspiration as White fled the room. “Ah, Green Mail, my good fellow! I seem to recall you challenging me to a game of billiards earlier, didn’t you?” Mustard grabbed the unresponsive green stallion and pulled him bodily from the room.
“And Scarlet Letter! We were going to… uh, we were… um…” Peacock stuttered, unable to come up with an excuse.
“Read books quietly in the library!” Scarlet supplied, still smiling like a madpony. In her mind, her entire week was filling up with dentist visits. The two of them fled the room in a full sprint.
Five minutes later, Body finished his solo with a flourish loud enough to set the chandelier swaying. Out of breath, he finally opened his eyes and saw that his only audience was an enthusiastically clapping Plum.
“I guess that one did go on a bit,” he said, wiping the sweat from his brow. “At least you stuck around. How did I do? I only just started this week.”
The professor grinned and walked closer to his friend. “My office back in Canterlot University was just down the hall from the youth music department. When you’ve listened to every mare and stallion who thinks they can pick up an instrument and instantly become the next Beecloven, Wolf Gang, or Elvis Prancly… well, you can get used to anything. You’re not bad at all in comparison!”
“Er… thanks,” Body said, giving the unicorn an odd look. He set the violin on a special pedestal next to the grand piano and adjusted it fondly. “Come on, let’s see what the others are up to.”
A loud knocking at the front door greeted the two ponies as soon as they set hoof outside of the ballroom. Body opened the door and stepped outside, leaving Plum standing on the threshold. A bubbly grey mare in a delivery uniform stood on the front step, holding a clipboard in her wing up to her face.
“Hello, what can I do for you?” Body asked cheerfully.
The pegasus held her clipboard closer to her face and proceeded to read carefully from it. “Is this the Body mansion, the only mansion outside of town, seriously, you can’t miss it?”
“I’ve uh, never heard it described so colorfully, but yes?” Body said, leaning back a little.
“Oh, good!” the mailmare said, tossing the clipboard carelessly over her shoulder. “This is the third place I’ve tried today. It easy to mistake a giant crystal castle for a mansion, right? And a farm is kinda like a mansion, if you ask me. Anyway, I’ve got a ton of packages here for you!”
She gestured over her shoulder to a pile of boxes which had spilled out of the back of a wagon on his front lawn. Judging by the scuffs and bent corners, this wasn’t the only time these had been dropped to the ground.
Home Body grinned widely and jaunted over to them. “Ah, these must be the party supplies I ordered. We’re celebrating a birthday this weekend, you see, and-”
Suddenly, there was a massive cacophony of crashes from inside the mansion.
“I didn’t do it this time!” the mailmare shouted, apparently on reflex, looking wildly at the open door as if it contained some kind of monster.
“Oh no…” Body moaned, running past Plum back into his house.
Ten minutes later, everypony was back in the ballroom, but this time there were a few differences. For one, Home Body was standing and frowning down at his guests, rather than playing for them. His guests were kneeling on the floor rather than sitting in the chairs, and each of them was trying not to meet his gaze. And lastly, his precious violin lay in the middle of the room between them. It had been smashed into tiny pieces with some kind of blunt instrument.
“I’m not angry,” Body said calmly, “I just want to know what happened, and who did this to my violin.”
Everypony immediately started talking at once, pointing to each other and trying to speak the loudest.
“One at a time!” Body shouted, stamping his hoof. Everypony immediately quieted down and he pointed to the one on the left.
Mustard scuffed his hoof sheepishly. “I was surprised by a loud crash and accidentally hit the cue ball too hard in the billiard room, sending it flying through the window. But I know I wasn’t the last pony to break something!”
“I was in the kitchen polishing the glassware,” White Wash said, wringing the candlestick in her hooves nervously, “I was startled by all the bangs and booms, and that large pitcher with the floral pattern slipped from my wings and shattered. I think I heard three or four crashes before that, though I didn’t think to count them at the time.”
“There was a large spider in a book I opened in the library,” Peacock said sheepishly, nursing a large bump on her head. “It jumped out at me and I leapt back into the bookcase, knocking it over. I took a nasty encyclopedia to the head, so I didn’t hear anything that happened after, but I don’t think there was a crash before mine…”
Scarlet flicked her hair and spoke in a low voice. “I took a book and retired to the study to read, but when the noises started I jumped up and knocked the chair over. It banged pretty loudly against the wall. I don’t remember when it happened, but there were more crashes before mine than after.”
“Well, the clacking of the billiard balls was making my headache worse,” Green Mail said, shooting a glare at the colonel, “So I went to the conservatory to get some peace and quiet. But when the commotion started I spun around and accidentally knocked over a potted plant with my tail. I’m pretty sure there was the same number of accidents before mine as after.”
Plum Pudding, last in the line, shrugged as if he wasn’t concerned. “I was on the doorstep with you the whole time, so I didn’t break anything. But since I was watching you outside, I didn’t see anypony moving around the house. Although I believe the rooms I heard crashes in were all one after another in a straight line.”
“I can’t help but notice that none of your stories included breaking my violin,” Home Body noted sternly, “Which means one of you is lying!”
The mailmare, who hadn’t realized she wasn’t a part of this and had followed everypony into the ballroom, tilted her head in thought and suddenly bounced up excitedly. “Wait, if only one of you is lying, it must be you!”
“So there I was, creeping through the lush jungle,” Colonel H. Mustard declaimed, perched on the end of the sofa and holding a wing over his eyes as he gazed into the distance, “Only twelve guards remained of my platoon, and they all looked to me for guidance! With only the stars as my guide, I led them boldly-”
“If you were in a lush jungle, how could you see the stars through the trees?” Peacock Poppycock asked innocently.
Mustard paused and blinked a few times, and then fixed her with a glare. “There were breaks in the trees so I could see the stars, alright?”
“Fine, fine…” Peacock sighed, eyeing the lounge’s grandfather clock and noting that this story had been going on for thirty minutes already.
Mustard cleared his throat. “Anyway… with only the occasional glimpse of the stars to guide me, I led them boldly towards the place we were to meet the rest of the army. But then there was a rustling in the foliage to our left, and from it burst-”
“A couple of normal jungle cats?” Green Mail asked snidely, “I think I read that in a Daring Do book once.”
“Or perhaps a previously undiscovered colony of scantily-clad ponies,” Peacock joked.
“Oh my, how scandalous!” Scarlet Letter gasped, putting a hoof to her mouth to hide her smile.
“And from it burst,” Mustard continued, doing his best to ignore them, “A mighty Barghest! It-”
“What in Equestria is a Barghest?” Home Body asked, probably the only one in the room hanging on to the Colonel’s every word.
“A big dog,” Professor Plum Pudding supplied, idly turning to the room’s modest bookcase. “I think there’s a volume on monsters here somewhere with a picture. If I recall correctly, they-”
“It jumped out at me!” Mustard shouted, holding up the revolver before him defensively, “But while my platoon faltered, I was unafraid! I waited until the last possible moment and then somersaulted over its charge and brought my weapon to bear, like so!”
The colonel back flipped over the sofa, using his wings to steady his fall, and swung the revolver around like a gunslinger in a movie. Unfortunately he was a little too enthusiastic and the revolver accidentally went off. The round shattered the watering can in White Wash’s grasp and drenched her and the potted plant she’d been tending.
“Watch what you’re doing, you feather-brained idiot!” she screeched, flapping her wings in agitation and sending drops of water everywhere. “You nearly killed me!”
Mustard tucked the revolver under his wings and puffed his chest importantly. “You were never in any danger. I know what I’m doing where shooting is involved.”
“Ha!” Green barked. “I’ve seen you use that thing, and you couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat!”
“How dare you!” Mustard shouted indignantly, “I’m easily the best markspony in this room!”
Peacock Poppycock frowned. “Now hold on, my daddy Pop Gun used to take me to a shooting range when I was younger and I think I’m better than you, at least!”
“Oh please,” Scarlet laughed, “I bet I could shoot circles around any of you!”
"You'd have to shoot circles," White said snidely, "Because a curving bullet is the only way you'd hit a target!"
The room was soon filled with ponies shouting at the top of their lungs about their skills. It grew so pitched that Home Body stood up on his chair and put a hoof in his mouth, blowing a shrill whistle that made everypony cover their ears.
“That’s enough fighting!” he said, looking around the room, “We’re all good friends, remember? Now I think I know how to settle this little dispute. Everypony meet me on the front lawn in ten minutes. Mrs. Wash, if you’d follow me?”
Ten minutes later his guests were still glaring at each other, but outside as asked. Home Body strode out to them carrying a large briefcase clamped in his teeth. Ignoring their curious gazes for the moment, he set the briefcase on the lawn and popped it open. Inside the case lay six revolvers, each one with an odd plastic case attached to their barrels.
“Ah, of course!” Mustard said, nodding, “You think we should have duels to decide! It’s clearly the most honorable way! Green Mail, I challenge you to the first duel!”
“No, no, no!” Body said, waving his forelegs to get his attention before Mustard did anything rash. “These are a special set of paint guns I recently got sent from my aunt, Auntie Body. She’s at a wilderness retreat and thought I might find these fun. I thought we could decide who’s the best shot with a target competition!”
Home gestured back at the mansion, where White Wash was busy pulling an apparently very heavy target onto the lawn to be set up. It was about twice the height of a pony and had nine concentric rings, each one helpfully labeled from one to nine. The center dot was bright red and was worth a full ten points.
Green Mail arched his eyebrow skeptically. “You want us to just fire at the same target? Isn’t this a little… foalish?”
“The guns each have a different color paint in them, so we know who scores what,” Body explained, “And I was thinking the pony who gets the highest score could get a prize. Say… ten thousand bits?”
“What are we waiting for?” Green exclaimed cheerfully, leaping forward to pick a revolver. The others rushed forward to join him.
Green selected a revolver with a lime band around its ammo case; Plum’s was a nice purple color, Peacock’s had a blue stripe, Mustard’s revolver featured yellow, Scarlet had a bright red one, and White was left with the one decorated in silver. Armed, each pony stood in a line and took aim at the target.
“Let’s say… best score after four rounds wins,” Body said, holding up a hoof for the signal. “And you can only fire twice each round. And… fire!”
*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*
Twelve splotches of paint splattered across the target board. Home Body ran forward and studied it, making sure to remember the score of each before the paint dripped down onto any of the others.
“Alright,” he said after a minute, “It looks like lime earned seven points, red earned nine points, blue earned ten points, purple earned eleven points, and both yellow and silver earned thirteen points!”
“Yes!” Mustard and White both shouted, giving each other a celebratory hoof bump.
“There must be something off with the sights on this revolver,” Green pouted, holding it up. “I demand somepony trade guns with me!”
Mustard grinned and offered his gun for trade. “If you insist, but I doubt it will make a difference!”
“If he gets to trade, I get to trade too!” Scarlet complained. She pawned her revolver off into White’s forelegs and snatched away the silver revolver in her magic before the housekeeper could object. Not wanting to be left out, Plum and Peacock also switched weapons.
“It might get a little confusing with the target like this,” Home Body said thoughtfully, looking at all the dripping paint. “Mrs. Wash, if you could just grab some towels from inside…”
“Allow me,” Plum said magnanimously. His horn lit up and he cast a spell that wiped the target clean of all ink. “There you go! I use that to get me out of having too many term papers to grade.”
“Right…” Body said, and then shook his head and got back into the game. “Then the second round starts now!”
*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*
“Let’s see,” Body said, “This time purple scored six points, lime scored eight points, silver scored eleven points, yellow and blue both scored thirteen points, and red scored an impressive fifteen points!”
“The sun was in my eyes,” complained the pony with the new lowest score, “Plus I think this revolver’s heavier than my last one!” They turned to Mustard and gave him such a pleading look that he sighed and traded revolvers.
Meanwhile, Plum had set his revolver down as he cast the spell to clear the target for the next round. The pony with the silver revolver sauntered over to where it lay and nonchalantly swapped it for their own. They were congratulating themselves on the theft when the pony with the yellow revolver stepped into their way.
“I saw you take Plum’s gun. Swap with mine or I’ll tell!” they said. Seeing no other choice, their revolvers switched hooves.
“Third round!” Body shouted, and everypony scrambled to get ready. “And… go!”
*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*
Home Body took a little longer to collect the score this time, as the numbers were getting higher and he’d forgotten to bring paper to write it down on. “Let’s see… So this time purple earned five points, silver earned nine points, red earned ten points, yellow and lime each earned twelve points, and blue earned an amazing seventeen points!”
“Blast it all!” shouted the pony with the lowest total score, “I’m not giving up!” So saying, they tracked down the pony with their original revolver and forced them to trade.
“Remember,” Body said, gesturing to his briefcase, “Each of those only holds six shots! You’ll need to reload from the supplies before the last round can start!”
The six ponies congregated around the briefcase and reloaded their weapons. In the process, the pony with the highest total score swapped with the pony that scored highest in the third round, then the lime revolver got traded for the purple revolver, and then Plum traded his revolver with Green.
“And… fire!” Body shouted when everypony was ready.
*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*
Home Body did some swift math in his head. “OK, so yellow earned seven points, blue scored ten points, silver scored eleven points, lime and purple both scored fifteen points, and red got the most astounding score of all, two bullseyes! And with those twenty points, red is our winner!”
Scarlet Letter checked her appearance in the mirror one last time. Hair perfectly coifed, just a hint of make-up to accentuate, and her newest acquisition snug across her neck. She took a few moments more to appreciate the brand new necklace, taking in the way the citrine and imperial topaz encrusting it glittered in the light, framing the enormous fire opal in the center. While she usually preferred rubies when it came to gemstones, the brilliant orange of this piece called out to her when she caught glimpse of it in the market and she couldn’t help herself.
Nodding, she left her room and swept downstairs, ready to be greeted by the envied exclamations of her friends. But despite her prepared entrance the hall was empty of ponies. Disappointed, Scarlet strained her ears and heard voices coming from the conservatory. She swept into the room and leaned nonchalantly against the door with her eyes closed, tilting her neck so that her necklace would be sure to catch the light.
“Oh my goodness!” she heard Peacock Poppycock gasp, “Would you just look at that!”
“This old thing?” Scarlet sighed happily, “It’s been in my family for generations…”
“It’s so adorable!” Green Mail gushed.
"Well, I prefer dazzling..." Scarlet said, only slightly puzzled by their choice of complements.
“Just look at his cuddly little legs!” White Wash cried happily.
Scarlet stamped her hooves in irritation and opened her eyes. Nopony was paying any attention to her. She quickly trotted over to where they were huddled on the other side of the room to see just what was more interesting than her entrance.
Her ire temporarily quieted when she saw the fluffiest bunny she’d ever seen lying on his back and enjoying the rapt attention of the six ponies around him. The bunny had its forelegs crossed behind its head and a contented smile on its face as its belly was ruffled by everypony in turn.
Scarlet suddenly remembered she was being ignored and cleared her throat icily. “So who’s our little guest?”
Plum Pudding smiled at her distractedly for a moment before turning his attention back to the bunny. “We’re not sure. He just hopped in through the window a few minutes ago, proud as can be.”
The bunny’s stomach gave a loud grumble and it placed its little paws over it, eliciting more ‘Awws’ from the ring of ponies.
“Hungry, little guy?” Home Body asked, giving the critter a pat on the head, “Mrs. White, do we have any carrots?”
“I could look in the kitchen,” White Wash offered, backing out of the room with one last look.
Scarlet wavered with herself, but her ego won out and she turned away with a huff. “Well, I don’t like the look of him. Who knows where the animal has been!”
Accustomed to the pampering, the bunny glared at her and froze when it saw her necklace.
Colonel H. Mustard also caught a glimpse of her jewelry and let out a low whistle. “What a fine gemstone! I saw several of a like size in the Princess's trophy room. That one must be worth at least twenty carats!”
At the mention of carrots, the bunny’s ears gave a twitch. An orange gleam was reflecting in his little eyes.
“Thirty-four point eight carats, to be exact,” Plum said, straightening his glasses as he squinted at the gem.
Green knocked the bunny aside as he leaned in to get a closer look himself. “You could buy a whole cartful of carrots with that many carats! Or two, if you go wholesale. I know a pony…”
The doorbell rang and Home Body turned to the door. “I wonder who that could be,” he said as he left the room.
“Oh, I could never part with it!” Scarlet laughed, posing so everypony could get a better look at it. Whatever she was about to say next was lost in a mouthful of fuzz as a white blur leapt onto her face and ran over her head. The bunny turned a flip over her back and landed on the other side of the conservatory by the door. And in its tiny paws was…
“MY NECKLACE!!!!” Scarlet shrieked, instinctively putting a hoof to her empty throat. The bunny gave her a cocky wave as it strapped the necklace on like a bandolier and bolted into the hall.
“After it!” Mustard shouted, the thrill of a chase getting his blood up. He led the way, Scarlet and Peacock hard on his tail.
Green Mail laid a hoof on Plum’s shoulder before he could follow. “Let’s head him off with the secret passage to the lounge!” he said, and the two of them ran for the false wall in the tool closet.
“It looks like we had six carrots knocking about the pantry,” White Wash said cheerfully, backing out of the kitchen while cradling the vegetables in her right wing. She paused as something white ran between her legs and then three ponies bowled into her, dropping all four of them into a pile near the oven. The bunny hopped onto the counter and snickered at them.
Scarlet let out a quite unladylike howl of frustration and leapt to her hooves. She grabbed half of the carrots that White had miraculously managed to hold onto with her magic and sent two of them shooting at the bunny. It dodged them by the skin of its teeth and retreated through the serving divider into the dining room. Scarlet growled and jumped through the divider after him.
“What’s going on?” White demanded, struggling to untangle herself from the pile.
“The bunny stole Scarlet’s necklace!” Peacock explained, as she and Mustard each snatched one of the remaining carrots. The three of them stood and ran for the hall.
The bunny had dashed out of the dining room’s far door and had just set foot in the lounge when something came whistling down at his head. The bunny jerked backwards as the weapon struck the ground with a loud thud.
“Just missed him!” Plum shouted, raising his weapon for a second try.
The rabbit gave him a look of stunned terror before shooting back out of the room into the hall. He froze as Scarlet, now armed herself, jumped out of the dining room and swung her own weapon. He leapt over the attack and the weapon hit Plum in the face as he came racing out of the lounge, knocking him senseless to the ground.
“Stand still, rabbit!” Scarlet growled as the bunny rebounded off the wall and over her head again. She ignored the downed professor as she chased after it, while the rest of the guests poured into the hall.
“No running around, you might hurt yourselves!” Body said over his shoulder distractedly as he opened the door to see who had come calling. A yellow pegasus stood timidly on his doorstep and flinched as the door opened. “Oh, hello! Aren’t you that nice mare who has the cottage on the other side of the town?”
“Um… yes…” Fluttershy said softly, glancing hesitantly over his shoulder rather than look Home in the eyes, “I was just wondering… if you’ve seen a cute little bunny around here anywhere. He’s run off somewhere…”
“There the little thief goes!” Green Mail shouted, pointing at the critter as it scampered between legs. Unfortunately, the hoof he was pointing with was currently holding the revolver. Convinced that these crazy ponies were trying to kill him, the bunny gave a tiny scream and dashed into the library.
Also unfortunately, Fluttershy had a good view of that whole scene too. “HOW COULD YOU THREATEN ANGEL?!” she shouted, knocking Body over as she shot into the room and cornered poor Green with her best Stare. “It’s not nice to threaten anypony or anybunny! And what are you even doing with such a dangerous thing!"
Meanwhile, Peacock inched her way slowly into the library towards the cowering bunny, using the knife to cut her carrot into smaller pieces. “Come on little guy, doesn’t this look delicious? Just give mommy the jewels and you can have a nice snack…”
But by this point Angel was certain these insane ponies were trying to kill him, and the wicked gleam of the knife only served to confirm his fears. He kicked a book into her face and ran through the side door into the billiard room, back out into the hall, dodged between White Wash’s legs, avoided the carrot javelin thrown by Scarlet Letter, and escaped into the ballroom.
“Aha!” Mustard shouted from his perch over the doorway, where he’d flown up to lay ambush.
He dropped down but the bunny proved faster than he’d anticipated, shooting across the smooth floor like a furry rocket. Mustard flapped his wings before he hit the ground and flew after him, carrot in one hoof and weapon in the other. The bunny hopped onto the piano chair and back flipped onto the charging Colonel’s head. Mustard dropped everything as he made a grab for him, but the bunny was already leaping away and out the other door.
“Did you get him?!” Plum asked, stumbling into the room. He picked up the fallen carrot and took a bite out of it to nurse his aching head.
“No,” Mustard grumbled, chasing his weapon as it rolled across the room, “It’s like that rabbit’s had parkour training or something.”
By this point Angel was getting very tired. He’d just come by to have a little fun and he was now so hungry and tired from running about. So when he dashed into the last remaining room of the house he hadn’t entered yet and saw the big, juicy carrot lying innocently on the ground, he couldn’t resist. After a quick look around to see that none of these crazy ponies had followed him, he hopped over to the carrot and started to chow down.
“Gotcha!” a voice cried from behind the door, and they pulled their end of the rope. The lasso around the carrot tightened and hogtied the bunny, flipping him over onto his back.
The door to Home Body’s room creaked open and an eye peered through the crack. Body lay peacefully in his bed, snoring up a storm. Ever so slowly, the mare shut the door and backed away from the room. Good, he’s fast asleep. I’d better get this done quickly!
The pony crept downstairs and paused, glancing around. Seeing that she was indeed alone, she stepped quickly through the hall and into the study. She shut the door behind her and hurried quickly over to Body’s desk. Setting her weapon down on the desk, she pulled out a pair of lock picks from a pouch on her saddlebag. It took her nearly five minutes to break through the complicated lock on the bottom drawer, but finally it popped open.
Eagerly, the pony pulled out the sheaf of papers inside and spread them out on the desk. A quick glance show them to be exactly what she was searching for, the formula of a fantastic new kind of chocolate candy Home Body had been bragging about the other day. A local named Mulia Mild wanted Body to invest in her new company that would ‘Revolutionize the whole chocolate industry!”.
But fortunately for me, she thought, pulling out a camera from her saddlebag, somepony caught wind of it and is offering quite the pretty penny for the recipe. Once I get this to the Cakes, I’ll be able to afford…
Her mental dialogue was cut short as she noticed a light shining under the study door. She hastily stuffed the papers back into the drawer and ran for the only hiding place she could think of, the secret passageway to the kitchen. She was only just closing the swinging portrait behind her when the door opened.
A stallion poked his head in and scrutinized the room in the light of his candlestick. Seeing an empty room, he hurried over to the desk and set down the candlestick. He pulled a set of lock picks from behind his ear, but noticed with a start that the drawer was already open.
“What luck!” he said, pulling out the papers and setting them down on the desk. “This will be a lot easier than I thought it would be. Now I just have to take pictures of these and get the film to Agent Sweetie Drops. I’m not sure what chocolate has to do with Equestrian national security, but she’s not paying me to ask questions!”
He quickly took several pictures and popped the film out of the camera, setting it down in a special canister. He then carefully lit the papers with the candle and dropped them safely into the waste bin to burn.
He was so busy making sure the fire burned out that he didn’t notice when the first pony snuck out of the secret passage. She grabbed his weapon from the desk and thwacked him over the head with it, knocking him senseless, and then grabbed the roll of film from the desk. She ran for the door, but stopped short as she heard a female voice on the other side.
“Can’t sleep,” the voice muttered, “Somepony’s snoring too loudly. Bet it’s Scarlet Letter or the Colonel. A walk on the lawns will tire me out…”
Cursing her luck, the thief went back into the secret passage and down into the kitchen. She was about to open the door back into the hall when it opened on its own, and she found herself staring face to face with another guest.
“Oh! I didn’t think anypony else was up!” he said, peering behind her into the kitchen. “Are you sneaking a late night snack too?”
“Er… yes! Just wanted a drink before bed,” she said, thinking quickly and hiding her weapon and film behind her back.
“Well, I saw White Wash hiding one of her sweet cherry and almond pies in the top shelf. Let’s have a slice behind her back!” he said, pulling her over to the cabinets. Not wanting to appear suspicious, she followed.
Meanwhile, the second thief groaned and sat up. He quickly realized that somepony had stolen his film and snatched up the weapon left behind on the desk, making for the door. Once in the hall, he heard voices coming from the kitchen and dining room. He slipped over to the dining room first and peered inside.
A pony was on the floor at the far end of the room, scrubbing at something on the rug beneath the table. “Gotta get this juice stain out quickly or White Wash is going to kill me when she finds it. I’m just glad nopony noticed when the Colonel bumped it out of my hoof at dinner.”
Confident that this pony had been there for a while, he snuck back to the door to the kitchen and laid his trap. He heard hoofsteps on the stairs and ducked into the ballroom to hide.
A stallion stumbled down the stairs into the hall. “Bathroom…” he muttered, wiping at his eyes, “Shouldn’t have drunk so much cider with Green Mail after dinner…”
No sooner had he entered the bathroom than a mare backed out of the kitchen. “No thanks, I shouldn’t eat any more this late anyway. Have a good night…”
She closed the door and spun for the stairs, but her hooves immediately got caught on the rope which had been inexplicable stretched taunt across the floor. She tripped and hit her head hard against the wall, falling unconscious.
The stallion in the ballroom leapt out at the sound and started ruffling through her saddlebags. “Turnabout is fair play, my dear. You shouldn’t have… wait, where is it?”
“Do you mean this?” said the pony coming out of the kitchen, holding the roll of film. He swung the lead pipe and clonked the stallion in the head, dropping him down on top of the mare. “I saw her trying to hide this from me and swiped it when she wasn’t looking. I bet it’s valuable to somepony…”
“It sure is,” a voice whispered in his ear, as the knife pressed into his back, “And you are going to pass it to me nice and slow.”
The stallion blinked as he turned over the film. “You! But I thought you went outside for a walk!”
The knife pressed harder into his back and cut off any more protests. “I hid in the library instead. Now hand it over!”
Seeing no way out, he passed over the film and escaped up the stairs to his room. The pony tucked the film safely into their nightshirt. “There we go, safe and sound. Donut Joe’s been looking forward to this recipe…”
“And he will just have to wait,” a mare said, just moments before a blunt weapon came crashing down. A third pony joined the pile, and the mare fished amongst them before coming up with the film. “Aha! Now to get this to Gustave le Grand and collect my reward!”
Wasting no time, she ran to the front door and dashed off into the night with their prize. All was quiet for a few minutes in the mansion, and then the pony who had gone to the bathroom stumbled back out into the hall. They yawned, scratched their eyes, and suddenly noticed the mess.
“What’s all this?” they shouted, rushing over. “There’s like three ponies lying here! Are any of you hurt?”
They pulled Plum Pudding out of the pile first, but he was completely senseless. The pony floundered, unsure of what to do for him, and then ran into the kitchen to get a glass of water to throw on his face, like in the movies.
While they were gone, one of the other two ponies stopped playing dead and sat up. “Was that Mustard or Peacock just now? Well, either way I’d better get going,” they said, picking up a new weapon from the floor, which was also their third weapon of the night.
They went to the front door and opened it, seeing a pony lying on the doorstep unconscious. “Good thing I prepared a little trap just in case,” they said, kicking a large rock they’d balanced over the door into the bushes alongside the mansion. The unconscious pony followed the rock, after being divested of the roll of film.
The pony whistled to themselves as they set off into the night to find their employer.
Peacock Poppycock felt a drop of sweat crawl down her face as she bit the inside of her cheek. Scarlet Letter took note of her obvious anxiety and smirked, pushing her hoof a little closer. Peacock’s eyes swiveled back and forth and she gulped nervously. Hesitantly, she held her hoof out and froze, wracked with indecision.
Then she selected the card to the left instead of the right.
“Yes!” she shouted happily, slapping a pair of eights on the table, “Last card! That means you’re the old maid, Scarlet!”
“She’s not the only old maid in this room…” Colonel H. Mustard whispered to Professor Plum Pudding over by the billiard table, before something cold washed over his head.
“Oh sorry, I seem to have spilled this entire pitcher of lemonade on you. Accidentally.” White Wash said sweetly, casually setting the empty pitcher on the billiard table. Mustard scowled and left in search of towels.
“Mrs. White, could you clean that up before it stains?” Home Body asked absently, absorbed in polishing something in his lap. White scowled and left in search of a mop.
Plum Pudding levitated his pool cue over to the rack and walked to Body’s side, curious. “What’s that you have there? A new acquisition?”
Body nodded and held up a case containing five ordinary looking bits. “They may not look like much, but these are five of the first bits ever minted! Each one is worth a fortune!”
Plum adjusted his glasses and peered closely at the coins. “You could have fooled me. They just look like plain old, ordinary bits to me.”
“Are we going to sit around all day, or are we going to play?” Green Mail asked, scooping up the pile of cards and smoothing out the deck, “Maybe we could play a real game this time, something we could bet on…”
“Here dear, let me get that,” Scarlet said, using her magic to pick up the deck and shuffle it, “I can do it a lot faster with my magic, after all.”
Green frowned and tapped his hoof on the table. “You know, I’m a fair hand at magic myself.”
Everypony in the room paused and looked at him. Peacock cleared her throat awkwardly. “Um… you do remember you… are an earth pony, right?”
“Here, let me show you,” Green said, scooping the floating deck out of the air. He shuffled them amazingly fast with practiced motions, and then fanned them, cut the deck by rolling half of it over the back of his hoof, then spring flourished it to his opposite hoof. The rest of the table oohed and ahhed appropriately, and even Body put aside his case to watch.
Green Mail placed the deck in the center of the table and gestured at it. “Somepony check and see what the top card is?”
“Oh, I want to!” Peacock said excitedly, leaning over and flipping it up. “Six of hearts!”
Green nodded, reaching over to flip the card face down again and giving the deck a sharp tap. “Alright, now what card is on top of the deck again?”
Peacock frowned. “You didn’t do anything, so…” she said, turning the card over again, but gasped at what she saw. Somehow the top card had become the nine of diamonds. Everypony applauded as Green gave a sitting bow.
“What’s going on?” White Wash grumbled, pushing a mop bucket into the room.
“Green Mail was showing us magic!” Home said happily, waving her over, “That stain can wait, you must see this!”
White arched an eyebrow. “Magic? But you do know… well, he’s a…”
“This is a popular one!” Green said, quickly shooting three cards into a line on the table. He flipped them over to show the two of spades, the two of hearts, and the Princess of diamonds, and then turned them face down. ‘Pay close attention now, this is where it gets fun!”
He slapped the cards and shuffled them around so fast his hooves were a blur. He stopped, returning the cards to their original spots, and leaned back smugly. “Normally, this is where I'd ask you to lay down bets, but since we’re friends… I’ll put it on your tabs. Now, who can tell me where the Princess is?”
Plum and Scarlet immediately pointed to the center one, while White and Peacock chose the one on the left. Home Body shrugged and selected the card on the right, having lost track almost immediately. Green chuckled and revealed the two end cards as the two deuces.
“Ha! Can’t fool a unicorn at magic!” Scarlet said, giving Plum a hoofbump. Green’s only reply was to smirk and turn over the middle card, revealing the two of clubs.
“What?! Then where’s the Princess?!” Scarlet exclaimed, standing up sharply.
“What’s this about losing a Princess?” Mustard asked, walking back into the room and wiping his mane with a towel.
“I believe there’s a fresh basket of apples in the kitchen,” Green said smugly, “Why don’t you go pick one and bring it back, Scarlet? And don’t forget a knife!”
Scarlet sniffed and stomped out of the room, mind on her mission. Meanwhile, Green had placed four cards on end against each other in a box shape, and then another four cards on top of that diagonally. He carefully continued such until he had a tower six levels high, and finished by covering the top with a few more cards.
“Now you all watched me build that, right?” Green asked, waiting for their nods of assent to continue, “Good. Now who wants to knock it over?”
“I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m game,” Plum said, swiping his hoof through the tower before Green could say anything more. He cried out in pain though, for somehow the formally hollow tower of cards now contained a very solid candlestick. “Wha… but… how?!”
“Magic, of course!” Green smirked, collecting the cards as if it were no big deal. Plum stood and left the room, muttering something about finding ice to put on his hoof.
Mustard blinked. “Magic? But Green Mail’s not a…?”
“Can you do anything other than card tricks?” Peacock asked eagerly.
“Well…” Green said in a sing song voice, “Let me think about it…” He tapped his hoof against his temple five times, and each time a bit appeared from under his hoof to land on the table. He laughed at his friends’ amazed expressions and started to juggle the coins.
Home Body looked sharply at his new case, which was now empty. “Remarkable! I didn’t even notice anything. But, er, do be careful with-”
He was cut off as Scarlet ran back into the room and slammed the knife and an apple onto the table. “Alright, I got your stuff. Now where did the card go?”
Green placed the bits down on the table and picked up the knife, using it to very carefully cut the apple in half. Everypony crowded around him and gasped as something that looked very much like a folded playing card appeared to be wedged inside the apple core.
“Impossible!” Scarlet almost shouted, snatching the apple away in her magic and violently unfolded the card. She gaped in complete confusion at a very sticky Princess of Diamonds. “But I... I picked the apple at the very bottom of the basket… how did you possibly do that?!”
“A magician never reveals his tricks,” Green smirked.
“That isn’t proper magic!” Scarlet fumed, stamping her hoof in frustration. “This is just… tricks!”
“Well, I for one think they’re pretty impressive!” Home said, trying to calm the situation before it got too heated, “Maybe you could teach us how you do it?”
Green scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Perhaps… I could show you some card cuts and flourishes, at least. We’ll need more cards though…”
“I think I saw some in the dining room!” Peacock volunteered, hopping up and darting from the room. On the way out she nearly ran into Plum, who slipped back into the room still nursing his hoof.
Picking up the deck again, Green sent the cards spinning and flipping around with only one hoof. “Alright, watch this one closely. I call this trick the Vanishing-”
BOOM!!!!Thud.
The whole mansion seemed to shake as something outside exploded. Everypony leapt up and raced to the window to see what was going on.
“There!” Home said, pointing at a rainbow colored arc of light passing through the sky. “It’s just that mare from town, doing one of her ‘Rainbooms’ again. She must have been right over the mansion when she did it this time.”
“Well that explains the boom, but what about the thud?” Plum asked.
“What thud?” Mustard asked.
Plum Pudding frowned and tilted his head. “I thought I heard a thud, just after the boom. I wonder what it was.”
“Um… I think I know.” Scarlet said, pointing back at the game table. Green Mail lay slumped over it, the cards spread in complete disarray around him. Next to his head lay the candlestick.
Home rushed over and checked on him. “Well, he appears to just be knocked out. But why would somepony attack poor Green Mail? Did anypony see who did it?”
Everypony shook their heads and explained that they had all been watching out the window at the time. They weren’t even paying attention to who was at the window with them. White stepped over to the table and gave it a critical once over with her eyes.
“Well, the only thing that’s missing are those bits,” she said, “But that doesn’t tell us anything.”
“Actually, it tell us everything!” Peacock said from the doorway. She pointed with the hoof not holding the extra decks of cards she’d retrieved. “The thief must be you!”
“Amazing job as ever, Mrs. White!” Colonel H. Mustard sputtered happily through his stuffed mouth. It wasn’t always the easiest using utensils if you weren’t a unicorn, but he made a good show of scraping his fork around his bowl to get every last bit of tomato-and-apple spaghetti sauce.
“Hear hear!” Scarlet Letter put in, slurping the last of her noodles and dabbing her lips with a deep red cloth napkin.
White Wash flapped her wing at the pair of them self-consciously and continued busing the dining table. “Flattery will not get you larger servings!” she snapped, but couldn’t suppress a smile as she turned away.
“I could go for another helping of salad with that incredible homemade dressing, if you’ve got any left,” Professor Plum Pudding said, eyeing to door to the kitchen hopefully.
“Don’t fill up too much,” Home Body said from his place at the head of the table, stifling a burp. He nodded to White and she took the dirty dishes and disappeared into the kitchen. “We’ve a special treat for you all to enjoy for dessert.”
Mustard’s ears pricked up. “Ohhh! It is a lemon-meringue pie?”
Green Mail tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Mint chocolate truffles?”
“Plum pudding?!” Plum Pudding asked, clapping his hooves eagerly.
“Strawberry parfait… wait,” Scarlet arched an eyebrow at the professor. She had a good angle for it, as he was sitting directly across the table from her. “Really? You want plum pudding?”
“I know what I like!” Plum huffed defensively.
“Actually,” Home said, “We’re going to have some cake!”
His guests all froze as one. Slowly, a look of fear crept into their eyes as they turned horrified to their host.
“Um, Home Body,” Mustard started, talking slowly as if trying to find the right words, “We all know Mrs. White is quite talented in the kitchen, but…”
“She’s completely inept at baking cake!” Green shouted, slamming his hooves on the table for emphasis. “They are the one thing she inexplicably can’t cook! It make no sense; how can everything else she makes be so fantastic when her cakes are the absolute worst?!”
Plum rose from his seat and eyed the door warily. “You know, I think I’ve less appetite than I thought. I believe I’ll just retire for the night…”
Peacock Poppycock put a hoof on his shoulder and guided him back down into the chair next to her. “Calm down, everypony, it’s not what you think. Home Body and I were discussing what kind of cake I wanted for my party and I just couldn’t decide! So we had Pinkie Pie send over a bunch of different ones for us to try. These are all going to be from her, not White!”
“Oh thank goodness!” Scarlet exclaimed with a sigh of relief, “You shouldn’t scare us like that, Homey!”
Similar announcements of relief passed around the table, everypony completely unaware that their conversation had been overheard. White Wash stood with her ear to the closed door to the dining room, teeth grinding in anger. Of course, she was aware of her crucial flaw where baking was concerned, but it infuriated her that they would talk about it so brazenly behind her back like that.
But I have a plan, she thought, turning an evil eye on the large trolley next to her. I spent all morning secretly baking the best cake I’ve ever made and slipped it in with the others! When Peacock eats it and decides it’s the best, I’ll shock them with the truth. And they’ll have no choice but to apologize for what they said!
She smirked at her cleverness and bumped the door open with her hip, pulling the trolley backwards into the dining room. She kept her left wingtip firmly pressed on one point of the cloche to keep track of where the special cake lay. Mustard had apparently launched into one of his long winded stories, so everypony’s attention riveted to her the instant she entered with the cakes.
“I hope everypony’s ready!” she chirped in the most innocent tone she could manage as she lifted the covered tray, continuing to hold her precious place with her wing.
“Which is when I told the diplomat, ‘If you are going to take that tone with my Princess, you’ll have to answer to me!’,” the Colonel shouted, gesturing broadly from his chair. His wing snapped out in his enthusiasm and cuffed White Wash upside the head.
White cried out, momentarily off balance, but a soft glow enveloped her before she struck the ground. “I’ve got you!” Plum said, his horn aglow as he lifted her back to her hooves.
“And I’ve got the cakes!” Scarlet Letter said happily, having caught the platter in her own magic. There was a scattering of applause and cheering at her announcement; rather more than there were at White’s own rescue, much to her chagrin.
Then she paused as a sudden realization hit her. I’ve lost place of my cake!
“Come on, let’s sit you down,” Plum said merrily, unaware that her plans had gone awry. He settled her into the empty chair between Home Body and himself.
Home Body leaned across the table and whipped off the cloche. Everypony oohed and ahhed at the seven mini cakes revealed inside, all in different shapes and sizes. White stared at them and realized she’d somehow forgotten just which one was the one she’d made.
“Looks like there’s just enough for each of us,” Home said, pulling a cake with a large chocolate decoration adorning the top closer to himself, “Let’s dive right in, shall we?”
I definitely didn’t make that elaborate chocolate topping, White thought, so it definitely isn’t that one… The others all grabbed a cake for themselves, and White distractedly pulled the last one towards herself.
“Well that’s kinda silly,” Green said, looking up and down the table, “It looks like each of the stallions grabbed a cake with white frosting, and the mares picked ones with blue frosting.”
Did I use blue or white frosting?, White thought, eyeing her cake warily, I can’t remember, it could have been either…
“The swirling rose pattern on this one is quite intricate!” Peacock hummed, peering close at her own confection. “I’m impressed she puts this much detail into samples!”
Scarlet pouted. “I love the icing part the best, and mine doesn’t have that pattern. Somepony trade with me!”
“You know we’re going to be tasting each of them, not just the first one?” Mustard said wryly, and sighed when she gave him the stink eye. “Well, you’ll have to trade with somepony else. It doesn’t look like anypony on our side of the table took one with the extra icing.”
I definitely didn’t make any of those fancy flower shapes, White thought as Scarlet swapped their cakes with her magic, I don’t have time in the day to be messing around with all that…
“Take a knife and cut off a small slice to begin,” Home instructed, picking his own out of the pile and passing them left to Green Mail. The knives made their trip around the table and then they each cut into the desserts at the same time.
“Oh! There’s a layer of chilled berries in mine!” Plum said happily, freeing his slice and slipping it onto his plate. Two other ponies also were delighted to find a fruity surprise in their treats.
“Oh poo,” Peacock sighed, “That looks so good… I can’t wait! I want to try one of those first!” She gave the pony across from her such a pleading look that they sighed and swapped pieces with her.
I definitely didn’t put in any fruit, White thought, concentrating as hard as she could on remembering. The batter was too goopy to form the layer, no matter how I pushed at it. Now if only I could remember which frosting…
Green Mail paused and put a hoof to his chest. “You know, I believe I actually did have a little too much to eat earlier. I think I’m only going to have one slice before calling it a night. Mind if I have that one? It looks better than mine.”
The guest who hadn’t traded with anyone yet shrugged and passed over their slice, taking his.
“Is everypony done?” Home asked, amused. He lifted his fork up as if it were a conductor’s baton. “Then let’s dig in!”
That’s right! White thought as she followed everypony’s example and scooped up a bite of cake, I prepared blue frosting! It took three whole tubes of toothpaste to get the color right! Which means I know which one is mine!
But this realization came too late. As everypony took their first bites, one pony locked up around their fork. They gave a little shudder, rolled their eyes up into their head, and fell face first into their cake.
Home Body gripped his mallet in his teeth carefully and gave the croquet ball a firm whack. The ball sailed through two wickets and rolled to rest perfectly lined up for his next shot. His guests stomped their hooves politely at his play. All save Colonel H. Mustard, who was too engrossed in his story to pay attention.
“…And with the pillars falling over one by one, guests running every which way, and wild animals barging in,” Mustard said. “It fell on me to restore order! I leapt into action, first securing the dessert tables so that no more cakes could be used as projectiles, and then-”
“You know, I’m not convinced you were even at the Gala,” Green Mail said sourly, stepping up to his own ball. He lined up to it with the lead pipe instead of a normal mallet, as he claimed to have had more practice swinging it.
Mustard sputtered, holding his own mallet in a threatening manner. “Are you calling me a liar?! I demand that you take that back this instant!”
“Now, now, let’s just calm down,” Home Body said placidly, holding his hooves out between the two stallions, “I’m sure Green Mail didn’t mean anything by it. But perhaps it isn’t the best time for a story…”
“No time is best for one of his stories…” Green grumbled. Mustard spun around to face him, but then an unexpected voice came to his defense.
“You know, I think I do remember that he was there,” Scarlet Letter said thoughtfully, scratching her chin.
Mustard blinked as his train of thought derailed. “Um… I didn’t know you attended…”
“Oh, I go every year.” Scarlet said lightly. She concentrated and teleported a photo album into her lap with a pop of magic. “In fact, I believe I’ve got a few photographs from that party… oh, look! Here’s a nice one of you and me, Homey!”
“You were quite radiant in your dress that night. Before it, ah, got covered in cake splatter,” Home said, looking at the book over her shoulder. Intrigued, everypony else crowded around to get a look and Scarlet spread the book out beneath the shade of a nearby tree.
“Sure looks like fun,” Plum Pudding said wistfully, “I’ve never had a chance to go. Too many grad papers that time of year.”
“Trust me, you’re not missing much these days,” Scarlet scoffed, before plucking out a photo with her magic, “Aha! Here it is!”
The photograph seemed to have captured a scene of chaos. Several guards were directing a number of guests, including Scarlet, away from something just outside of the shot. The camerapony had caught them all facing the camera, save for one. That guard, just barely in frame, appearing to be wrestling madly with a monkey that was trying to steal his helmet, was the Colonel.
“Well, looks like I owe you an apology,” Green said, though the way he was desperately trying to suppress laughing ruined the effect. The other guests had no such restrictions, and the rising chuckles caused the tips of Mustard’s ears to turn red.
The Colonel cleared his throat in embarrassment. “Those wild animals are a lot harder to handle than they appear…”
“Say, what’s that scribble on the back?” Peacock Poppycock asked, gesturing with her hoof.
Scarlet flipped the photograph over and blinked, surprised. “Huh, I never noticed this before! Let’s see, Rescued by Lieutenant Spearhead, Guardpony Half Measures, Guardpony Gallant Gallop, and Colonel Ho-”
The photograph vanished in a yellow blur. The guests blinked and focused on Mustard, standing on the far end of the lawn at the end of a skid track dug into the grass, the photograph clamped firmly in his teeth.
“Don’t read my name!” he mumbled.
“Why ever not?” Peacock asked, before leaning forward with an eager glint in her eye, “Is it embarrassing?”
Green wore a matching grin to Peacock’s. “Let me guess… Hayseed?”
“Horrible?” White Wash chirped.
“Haggard?” Peacock tried.
“You’ll tell us if we get it, won’t you?” Scarlet asked, thinking hard, “Hmm… Hairy?”
“Hefty!” Green tried, between giggles.
“Halfwit!” White laughed, nearly dropping the rope as she clutched her sides.
Mustard’s face was now the exact shade of ketchup. “You’ll never find out!” he shouted, before eating the photograph whole. He then sprinted back to the safety of the mansion, followed by the howling laughter of his friends.
Plum straightened his glasses while Green Mail, White Wash, and Peacock Poppycock regained their composure. “You know, all this time I always thought his first name was Colonel.”
“No, that’s just his title,” Home said. “He’s always been rather close-lipped about his real name. But surely you must know it, Scarlet Letter? You wrote it on that photograph you took.”
Scarlet was already shaking her head. “I didn’t take any of these. It was a friend of mine, Shutterbug, who sent them to me. She sends me a copy of every picture I appear in from every party I attend. She must have written that.”
“Perhaps we should write to her and find out if she remembers his name?” Green suggested.
“Or perhaps we should respect his privacy?” Home Body said pointedly, and his guests all smiled innocently, “Now let’s look at a few more photographs. Look, here’s one of the Wonderbolts helping to clear out that giant broken statue!”
“Would have been nice, going to a party and watching somepony else clean up for a change. But did I get time off to go?” White grumbled. She smiled sweetly when Home turned to look at her, but as soon as he looked back at the book she stuck her tongue out at him.
Later that night, two ponies met in the shadowy library.
“How did you find out?” Colonel Mustard asked.
“I managed to see it before you snatched it away,” the other pony said, “You were just barely not fast enough… Honey Mustard.”
Mustard flinched at the sound of the word. “You can’t tell anypony!”
“Oh, I don’t know… I think it’s a little sweet!”
Mustard groaned.
“I’m sorry, did that sting? I suppose it does put you in a sticky situation, what with all the buzz that name would cause…”
“Please stop.” Mustard moaned, pressing his ears flat against his head.
“If you insist,” the other pony said, smirking, “But it will cost you. I’m sure you don’t want me to tell the others your secret, after all…”
The Colonel stood up straighter. “So it’s blackmail after all?”
The other pony nodded. “It’s a shame I didn’t know someone at the Gala knew your name when I was there, or we could have had this arrangement this whole time! So how much are you willing to pay to keep this all quiet?”
“I think I know a better way to make sure you don’t talk!” Mustard said, pulling a weapon from under a stack of books where he had hidden it.
“You aren’t the only one who came prepared!” the other pony said, readying the weapon they'd had all day.
“Who’s in here?” a voice asked as the library door swung open.
Both ponies spun around at the sudden interruption, both of them losing hold of their weapons. They smiled innocently at the pony standing in the door.
Scarlet Letter eyed them strangely and peered around the room, using the lit candlestick to light it up. “I heard voices in here. Why are you two standing in a dark room?”
“We’re not doing anything! Just talking!” Mustard said with forced cheer, not wanting anypony else to know what they were talking about. The other pony nodded enthusiastically.
Scarlet stared at them for a few seconds longer before backing out of the room. “Weirdos…”
The moment the door clicked closed the two ponies dived for the dropped weapons. In the confusion, they each grabbed each other’s weapons by mistake. Mustard stood first, raising his foreleg to stab.
*BANG*
The gunshot, muffled from the rest of the mansion by the stacks of books lining the walls, was deafening in the enclosed room. Colonel Mustard wavered for a second and then slumped to the ground without a sound.
The clock on the mantelpiece chimed eleven as Peacock Poppycock swept into the lounge and beamed at her friends. “Big day tomorrow!”
Five ponies blinked at her, blankly.
Peacock sauntered to the middle of the room and casually slipped an open magazine onto the coffee table. “Oh my, what’s this? An article about a limited edition set of signed Daring Do novels? Why, this says that a few are going to be sold off in this very town at noon, today! And a steal for only forty bits!”
Five ponies took in the magazine, and then blinked at her.
Peacock smiles sweetly and backed out of the room. “Well, I’m sure at least one of you has a lot to do today. I’ll just leave you to it!”
Five ponies watched her go, blinking.
Home Body flicked his newspaper to a new page. “You’ve all forgotten to get her a birthday present, haven’t you?”
Five ponies leapt to their feet and bid their host hasty excuses as they raced to their rooms.
“I’ve got to get her those books!” Colonel H. Mustard said, scrounging through his trunk to find his coin bag. “Let’s see, looks like I’ve got fifty bits, so I’ve got plenty to spare. It’ll only take me five minutes to fly to the bookshop. I’ll have one of Mrs. White’s fine lunches and leave at eleven forty-five, leaving me plenty of time if there’s a crowd!”
Green Mail appraised his finances with a critical eye. “Only twenty bits, eh? Well, I know a few ponies who owe me enough to cover the difference. I’ll have a quick lunch and leave at eleven thirty. It’ll only take ten minutes to walk to town in this nice weather, which gives me twenty minutes to, ahem, ‘scrounge up’ the funds. This will be a snap!”
Scarlet Letter slipped on her favorite ruby saddlebag and touched up her hair in the mirror. “I doubt those book sets are going to sell that quickly. I mean, they’re just for foals, after all. I’ll leave for Ponyville at around eleven fifteen and have a nice meal at that darling café. I’ve got seventy-five bits on me, so I’m sure to have enough for one of those little sets when I’m finished.”
Professor Plum Pudding threw clothing, books, and half-finished experiments around his room with his magic. “Thirty-five bits,” he muttered, frantically looking all over his cluttered room, “I’ve only got thirty-five bits! I could have sworn I had more somewhere. I suppose I could sell this set of crystals to the jewelry store… but I was using them for resonance research.” He bit his lip and looked around his cluttered belongings. “Hmm… I’ll keep looking for as long as I can, just in case. If I haven’t found any more bits by eleven forty-five, I’ll teleport to the jewelry store. At least that will give me time to have some lunch first…”
“I’m doing the shopping!” White Wash shouted from the kitchen, pulling a heavy cloth bag out of a cupboard and dropping it into an extra-large saddlebag. I’m a genius! If I scrimp on the weekly grocery budget, I’ll be able to get the forty bits for Poppycock’s gift without having to pay a single bit of my own! I’d better hurry to the market, the longer I wait the higher the prices will get.
As she ran out of the kitchen, she slapped a note on the door before dashing out of the mansion. The note read ‘Buying food because you all eat so much, leftover sandwiches in the fridge”.
Fifteen minutes later, Scarlet strolled out the front door, adjusting her hat against the bright sun’s glare. Fifteen minutes after that, an irked Green strode purposely down the road to town. Fifteen minutes after that, an upset Mustard flew out the front door and there was a flash of magic light from Plum’s room as he teleported away.
Unfortunately, Plum was a bit out of practice with teleporting and overshot his target. He appeared in an alleyway a few streets down, right in front of a large red stallion pulling a cart of apples. His sudden appearance caused the stallion to jerk in surprise, overturning the cart and spilling apples all over the alley. Apologizing profusely, Plum spent five minutes helping him recover his spilled produce.
Mustard had only been flying for five minutes when a rainbow-colored blur nearly knocked him from the air. “-gottabuyitgottabuyitIcan’tbelieveIdidn’thearaboutthissoonergottabuyit-” the blur said as it shot further into town.
“Watch where you’re going!” Mustard shouted irritably, before noting with shock that he’d dropped his money pouch and it had spilled his coins everywhere. He flew down to recover his money.
Scarlet batted her lips with her napkin and sighed contently. The walk into town had only taken ten minutes and due to the café’s excellent service, she’d finished eating in twenty minutes. She left ten bits on the table for the bill, along with five more as tip, and sauntered towards the shops.
“Pleasure talking with you, Davenport!” Green Mail called over his shoulder as he left Quills and Sofas. The shop owner waved him out the door with a smile that was nearly a wince. Green hummed a happy tune as his considered his next move. The walk into town had taken exactly as long as he’d expected, and after spending ten minutes convincing Davenport to extend an ‘advance’ on a loan he’d owed Green, his finances had already doubled.
“Cinnamon nuts!” a rather large and bulky pegasus shouted from a cart along the side of the street. The enticing aroma reminded Green Mail that he hadn’t had much of a lunch, as those sandwiches had been a little on the stale side. Deciding to treat himself, he spent five minutes waiting in line for a five-bit bag of nuts.
White slipped the bundle of asparagus into her bulging saddle bag and consulted her list with a satisfied smile. Ten minutes to walk into town and forty-five minutes spent getting the groceries, but she’d somehow managed to haggle well enough to have exactly fifty-five bits leftover.
“And Home Body’ll never know the difference!” she gloated, before her stomach gave a loud rumble. Deciding she had enough to cover her skipped lunch, she ducked into the nearby Hayburger for a quick bite. She spent ten bits on a complete meal and took a leisurely ten minutes to enjoy it.
Plum spent ten minutes negotiating with the salespony at the jewelry store and left ten bits richer. Leaving the building, he ran into an adorable little filly collecting for the Filly Guides. Unable to say no, the Professor dropped five bits into her collection box.
Mustard stood up with a grunt and stretched a kink out of his back. Ten minutes of searching, and he was still five bits short of his original total. Now thoroughly annoyed, sweaty, and hungry from having skipped over those unappetizing leftovers, he stomped over to the nearest café and ordered a tall glass of fruit juice and a carrot dog, which ran him another ten bits. He sat at a table with an umbrella for five minutes, sipping his drink and cooling his temper.
On the way to the bookstore, Scarlet’s attention was arrested by a beautiful rose-colored hat in a display window. “Why, that would look simply ravishing on me!” she exclaimed, skipping into the store. Completely distracted, she spent twenty minutes perusing the shop’s other wares.
“Try your luck, sir?” a mare in a barker’s cap and coat asked Green as he was passing by her makeshift stand by the side of the lane. She waved her hoof at a tub filled with popsicle sticks buried standing up in sand. “Pick a stick with a heart on it, get double your money back. Find a star, and win ten times the cost to play. Five bits a go, give it a try!”
“Why not?” he said, handing over the fee. He picked a stick and frowned at its blank end. The mare was quite sympathetic until he started pestering her to get his money back. The two of them argued for ten minutes, during which Green was somehow convinced to buy a second stick, which was also a loser.
White Wash was just stepping out of the Hayburger when a trio of fillies dashed across her path from out of nowhere. The yellow earth pony of the trio banged into her and knocked the heavy bag from her back, and a sharp cracking sound heralded a jar of pickles breaking. Furious, White spent the next ten minutes lecturing the apologetic fillies.
Plum munched on his five-bit bag of cinnamon nuts as he walked. The five minute long line might have deterred him any other day, but the smell had simply been too much for his empty stomach. Looking up, he saw Green Mail stomping angrily away from a booth. Curious, he stepped up to see what they were selling.
After hearing the rules of the contest, he happily passed over five bits and pulled out a stick. His eyes widened at the bright little star on the end and then they widened further at the hefty bag of coins the gamespony plopped before him. A small crowd gathered to cheer as he spent twenty minutes celebrating his good fortune.
“Watch out!” somepony shouted, and Mustard jumped aside just in time to avoid a crate falling from the sky. “Hey buddy, can you help us out?”
Looking up, Mustard saw a team of pegasus trying to support a tilting moving van in midair. He hefted the box and flew it up to the team, who asked if he had the time to help them out. He agreed and helped them fly fifteen minutes to their drop-off, pocketing twenty bits for his trouble. Deciding that he’d had enough close calls for the day, he flew double speed back to the shops and managed to shave five minutes off the return trip.
Scarlet emerged from the clothing store wearing her new hat, which had ran her twice as much as the cost of her lunch. She sauntered around the other clothing stores for another ten minutes before heading directly to the bookshop. Along the way, she dropped five bits into the collection box of a charming little Filly Guide.
Green was just about to walk into the book store when another pony walked out of it with a certain box set under his foreleg. “Filthy Rich!” Green exclaimed, instantly recovering from his bad mood as he greeted his good friend. The two of them spent fifteen minutes catching up on business tips, recent deals, and the state of their various investments. In exchange for some inside info, Filthy slipped Green an extra fifteen bits.
White huffed her way towards the bookstore, very annoyed. The detour to get new pickles had cost her ten minutes and the same in bits, so the crowd blocking the road didn’t do her mood any favors. She peered over heads and realized that all this commotion was for somepony who’d won big at a lottery game.
“So you actually can win at these games…” White mused, jangling her less-than-full coin purse. She stepped into the long line of ponies waiting for their chance at the game, but it was worth the wait five minutes later when she pulled a heart for second place.
Dusty Shelves hummed to herself as she cleaned up after the rush. She’d been amazed that her little bookstore had gotten ten of those Daring Do box sets, and they’d been snapped up just as fast as she’d expected. In fact, she only had one left. It had been her most profitable day all month, and it was still the middle of the day.
The chime over her door rang as a pony ran in. “Do you have any more of those… yes!” the pony said, snatching up the last box. But when they brought it to the register and counted their money, they didn’t have enough to afford it. The customer left, muttering to themselves about where their money had gone.
Five minutes later, another pony showed up looking for the box set. And this time they did have enough money.
“Why, it’s exactly what I wanted!” Peacock Poppycock exclaimed slyly, as she finished unwrapping the book set, “However did you think of it?”
“Oh, I just had a feeling,” Green Mail said smugly, grinning at the dark looks the others were shooting at him, “Happy birthday!”
He slipped back onto the lounge’s extra-large couch and dipped a hoof into his gift bag. He and the other guests had pestered Home Body until he relented and let them take their gift bags early in the party. Each bag contained fancy chocolates, bags of popcorn, small bottles of Apple Family off-season cider, paper party hats, and rainbow colored fans. Peacock’s mouth already had a chocolate ring around it.
“Here, open mine next,” Professor Plum Pudding said, pushing a large square box across the coffee table, “Happy birthday!”
Peacock ripped off the paper and blinked in surprise. “Your music box! But I thought you needed it for a lecture!”
“Oh, I was told that the investor who was going to attend isn’t going to be able to make it,” Plum said with a shrug, “So I don’t really feel the need to have a practical demonstration anymore…”
Home Body gave the Professor an odd look as Peacock moved on to the next package.
“Oh my!” she said, pulling a necklace graced with orange gemstones out of its box.
“I thought it would look just lovely on you!” Scarlet Letter gushed, fanning herself with her new fan. Plus, I was a little short on bits for some reason… and now I don’t have to worry about thieving rabbits…
Colonel H. Mustard handed the mare of the hour a square bundle. “I just happened to be in the bookstore the other day, and I noticed this on my way out.”
“Another book?” Peacock asked, before noticing the familiar pony on the cover. “Magic Even You Can Do by Green Mail?! I didn’t know you wrote a book, Green!”
“I can autograph it for you, if you like,” Green said around a mouthful of popcorn. “Us earth ponies have to show everypony what real magic is, eh?”
The two of them bumped hooves as Scarlet and Plum shot them flat stares.
“Here you go,” White Wash grunted, thrusting an envelope into Peacock’s lap.
“I wonder what it is…” Peacock said, before frowning at the paper inside. “A gift certificate for the local spa?”
White shrugged self-consciously at the looks everypony else were giving her. “What? Not every gift has to be relevant to the events of the past week…”
“And last but certainly not least,” Home Body said, clearing his throat and placing an intricately wrapped box on the table. Peacock eagerly tore into it and the rest of the guests leaned forward, interested to see what their host had gotten her. Everypony’s gasps a moment later showed he hadn’t chosen poorly.
Nestled inside a fancy box lay a luxuriant length of white silk that fairly glowed. A border of soft pearls and lapis lazuli ran along the edges, while shining round sapphires had been stitched into the shape of a peacock on the front. Poppycock lifted it out of the box reverently, and the silk whispered beautifully.
“Oh…!” Peacock said, overcome with appreciation, “You shouldn’t have!”
“It’s a stole I custom ordered from the Crystal Empire,” Body chattered happily. “They know how to make the best scarves in all of Equestria! I suppose it comes from living in a frozen wasteland all year round…”
“I love it!” Peacock exclaimed, wrapping it around her neck and prancing around the room. The many gemstones sparkled and shone.
Green hummed to himself and tilted his head, as if trying to run several calculations in his head at once. “I can’t imagine how much that must have cost!” he lied.
“And he sees fit to complain when I bring up getting a raise,” White muttered as she started picking up the discarded wrapping. “I do bring it up every morning, but still…”
“You should put it away before it gets all dirty,” Scarlet suggested, eyeing the cloth with a covetous gleam as she pushed its box across the table. With reluctance, Peacock took off the stole and returned it to its place in the center of her gifts, careful not to get any chocolate smudges on it.
Home Body clapped his hooves. “How about we move to the ballroom and play some party games?” he asked, and his guests all quickly agreed. They all picked up their bags and move to the door.
“I’ll be just a second,” one pony said, rubbing furiously at their eyes. They paused at the door and kept at it before glancing around to make sure they were the last one in the room. They dashed quickly to the table and pulled the stole out of its box, shoving it deep into their gift bag. Satisfied, the thief calmly strode out of the lounge and joined the others.
“Come on over,” Body called as the last pony entered the room, gesturing at a circle of chairs, “It’s a classic! Musical chairs! One of my favorites!”
Scarlet sighed and, along with the others, set her gift bag down by the door. She paused and pointed at the chairs. “Only five?”
“Well, someone’s got to run the record player!” he said brightly.
White Wash rolled her eyes and stepped over to the turntable, while the others took their places around the chairs. Five rounds later, a grinning Body claimed the winning chair from a thoroughly tired Plum. The other eliminated players gave him a small round of applause.
Wiping her brow, Peacock stopped her host as he moved to reset the chairs. “I worked up quite the appetite. Can we move on to the cake instead?”
A little disappointed, Home led the way to the dining room. Unfortunately for everypony, all the gift bags looked exactly identical. When they left. Green had Peacock’s bag, Mustard had White’s, Peacock had Plum’s, Scarlet had Mustard’s, Plum had Scarlet’s, and White had Green’s.
A few minutes later, Green frowned down at his plate. “Is it just me, or is the cake a bit dryer than when we taste-tested it?”
The Colonel lifted a bit on his fork and inspected it. “A little, yeah. But not enough it to matter, in my opinion.”
“Hrmm…” Green muttered, shoveling more salty popcorn into his mouth thoughtfully. Dipping a hoof into his bag, he realized he’d eaten all the popcorn he’d had left somehow. Checking to make sure nopony was paying close attention, he swapped his bag for Plum’s. He scooped out a fresh hoofful and smirked at his cleverness.
Across the table, White Wash had seen the whole thing and thought it was a fine idea. Chugging her bottle of cider, she dropped it into her bag and made a big show of getting a fresh slice of cake for the birthday mare. She swapped their bags at the same time and returned to her seat, sipping from her fresh bottle.
On their way back to the ballroom for more games, Plum excused himself to use the restroom. Meanwhile, Scarlet fanned herself a little too hard and snapped her paper fan apart. She pouted at it for a moment before noticing that White had excused herself to clear the dishes. Whistling nonchalantly, she swapped her bag for the one White had left behind in the dining room.
Once White returned to the ballroom, Home had her hang up a piñata by the chandelier. The guests munched away at their treats as their host took the first turn, and several noticed that they were running low.
The Professor returned, looking oddly pleased with himself, so they had him go next. Mustard stole Plum’s bag when the Professor took his turn, and then Green swapped for Peacock’s when she stepped up to bat. Realizing that his new bag was empty of that delicious popcorn, he swapped it for White’s while the maid was distracted gleefully bobbing the piñata out of everypony’s reach.
Scarlet, thoroughly annoyed at White's little game of keep-out-of-reach, used her magic to make the bat chase the piñata faster than the maid could get it out of the way. It exploded into a shower of candy, and everypony zipped around to get their favorites. When they returned to their bags, Mustard had taken Green’s, so Green picked up Scarlet’s, who was left with Mustard’s.
“This party has been great!” Peacock said happily, shoveling her haul of candy into her bag. The bag, not designed to carry as much as she’d enthusiastically picked up, split in half. “Oh, shoot! Hey, do you mind if I borrow your bag?”
Before the pony she’d asked could say anything, Peacock had snatched their bag and dumped its contents on the floor. And sitting amongst the chocolates and popcorn was a necklace with many shining orange gemstones.
“My present!” Peacock exclaimed, snatching it up, “You stole it?!”
“I don’t know how that got in there!” the pony said, backing away from the incriminating evidence. The rest of the guests surrounded the pony with pointed questions, all save one.
I’m glad she didn’t look in my bag, they thought, dropping a hoof into their bag to caress the hidden stole at the bottom. Through sheer luck, this pony was the only one to currently have their own bag back.
“I say, might I have a refill, Mrs. Wash?” Professor Plum Pudding asked, his empty glass floating up in the glow of his magic. With only a small tirade under her breath, White Wash leaned over and tilted the lemonade pitcher over his glass until it was full. She set it down on the end table and relaxed back into her wicker chair with a dramatically loud sigh.
All six of them were spread out on the mansion’s front porch, taking in the relaxing summer sunset. Behind them, trunks and steamers were piled high by the door in preparation for their departure in the morning. Another fantastic week at the Body mansion was coming to a close.
“This is nice,” Peacock Poppycock sighed, kicking her legs so that the porch swing kept rocking. Next to her, Green Mail hummed in agreement and sipped from his own beverage.
“The past week simply flew by,” Colonel H. Mustard said, stretching his wings. “I almost don’t want this night to end!”
“Well some of us can’t wait!” White Wash muttered under her breath.
Scarlet Letter rolled her neck to work out a kink. “Have you noticed how well we're getting along today? Nopony’s raised their voice…”
“Or raised a revolver!” the Colonel cut in, and everypony shared a laugh. They fell back into companionable silence until the front doors ground open and two ponies stepped out.
“That's all taken care of!” Mayor Mare said cheerfully, tapping a hoof against a scroll poking out of her important-looking saddlebags. “I’ll get this to the town hall records straight away. A pleasure talking with you as always, Home Body! I hope to see you around town more often, now. You shouldn’t spend all your time cooped up here!”
“I’ll try!” Home Body laughed, showing her down the front steps. He waved after her as she disappeared around the bend and then turned around to appraise his guests. “What’s this? Enjoying the air?”
“Do join us!” Scarlet suggested, pointing to an empty chair next to hers. Their host gratefully took the seat and White poured him a glass of lemonade. The next minute passed in relative peace.
“So… had some business to take care of?” Peacock asked, her curiosity only matched by the rest of the guests.
Green tapped his nose knowingly. “Making a few donations to the local government, eh? I understand, say no more…”
“No,” Home said with a wave of his hoof, “Nothing like that. I just had some documents to update.”
“You’re not in trouble, I hope!” Peacock said, concerned. The others all added their own mutters of support.
Home felt a tear come to his eye and hastily wiped it away. “Everything is fine, nothing to worry about. It’s just… well, you all are my best friends in the whole world!”
“Hear, hear!” Mustard cried, raising his glass high.
“And you all mean the world to me,” he paused and held his glass in his maid’s direction as her mouth popped open. “Yes, even you, Mrs. Wash. I value your company just as much!”
White closed her mouth and suppressed a smile.
“Now I know we sometimes get a little carried away with ourselves…”
“What, us?” Plum said in mock innocence and a thrill of giggles ran around the porch.
Home smiled as he continued. “But we’ve stayed close through it all. And I just wanted to make sure that whatever the future holds, you’re all taken care of. So I had the Mayor update my will.”
Silence suddenly fell on the porch as six pairs of eyes focused rather sharply on their host.
“I’ve made sure that each of you will get an equal share of my millions,” Body went on, oblivious to the change in the atmosphere. “I don’t want any of you to feel I’ve played favorites!”
“How generous…” Green said softly.
“Well, save for my faithful maid!” Body said slyly, giving her a nod. “I’ve left the whole mansion to you! On the stipulation that you continue to host parties for everypony!”
“How thoughtful…” White muttered thoughtfully.
“Of course, you’ll have to hire your own maids!” Body chuckled, pleased at his own joke. He blinked as he noticed that he was the only pony laughing. “Oh, don’t worry about me. It’s only a precaution. I'm not planning on dying for a very, very, very, very long time!”
Home Body was dead the next morning.
They all discovered the body together when they came downstairs for breakfast. Now all six of them were bunched together in the hall, staring through the open doorway into the room where the body lay sprawled. It appeared that he’d been killed the previous night, sometime before everypony had turned in to sleep.
Scarlet Letter was the first to speak, clearing her throat in a determined manner. “Well, I suppose we should call the authorities.”
“Right away!” White Wash said harshly, “I can’t wait to see which one of you ponies they arrest for this!”
“Implying that you aren’t the murderer!” Mustard retorted, poking her in the chest.
“It couldn’t have been me!” White proclaimed. “Home was my employer. Without him, I’m out of a job!”
“But into a nice fat inheritance!” Green Mail accused.
“The same applies to all of us,” Plum reminded him before any more threats could be made. “Each of us were just placed in his will, so we all have a motive.”
“So the murderer could have been any one of us,” Peacock huffed. The six of them eyed each other warily, nopony willing to be the first to make a move.
The Colonel cleared his throat. “Well, I suppose nopony is going to just admit to the crime. Did anypony set hoof in this room last night?”
Everypony shook their heads negative. It also came out that each pony had been watching the hall from the rooms they had been in, the tension causing them to pay closer attention to everypony’s movements than usual. Nor did either of the unicorns teleport last night, as all of them would have heard the pop of them appearing or disappearing in the quiet mansion.
“Well, I was in the library with Scarlet last night looking for a book to read,” Mustard went on, “Didn’t set hoof outside until I went upstairs to bed. Although I recall you left sooner than that, didn’t you?”
“Only because you kept tapping the lead pipe against the table while you read, and it was giving me a headache!” Scarlet snapped. “I went to the lounge to read in peace and quiet.”
“And you needed the wrench for that?” Mustard asked pointedly.
“As if I was the only one carrying a weapon!” Scarlet shot back. “Besides, nopony saw me leave the lounge after that, right?”
Everypony grumbled no.
“I spent the night in the kitchen with White Wash!” Green Mail put in, “I was showing her how to make a key lime meringue pie just like my Mam used to.”
“Not the whole night,” White said sourly, nervously wringing the rope in her hooves. “As soon as the pie was done you cut off a huge slice with the knife and ran out instead of helping me with the dishes!”
“I wanted to eat it while it was fresh!” Green said defensively. “And I only took it to the dining room. Nopony saw me go anywhere else, did they?”
Everypony grumbled no.
“That just leaves Peacock and I,” Plum said, “And the two of us were in the billiards room playing darts all night!”
Peacock coughed politely. “Um, I was, but you weren’t. You left after playing barely half an hour, remember?”
Plum swallowed uncomfortably. “Well, uh, the way you were holding the revolver was making me nervous. And I didn’t have any more money to lose to you at billiards. So I went to the study to… study.”
“And why did you take the candlestick with you?” she asked with an arched eyebrow.
“It was getting dark! I needed its light to see!” Plum Pudding said quickly, looking at each suspicious eye in turn. “Besides, everypony saw me go straight into the study and nowhere else, right?”
Everypony grumbled yes.
“Well, that counts us out. So it must have been either Mustard, White, or Peacock!” Green Mail shouted, pointing an accusing hoof at the three of them.
Mustard huffed in indignation. “Except everypony was watching the hall all night. Did anypony see us leave the rooms we were in at all?”
Everypony grumbled no.
Peacock huffed out an exasperated sigh. “So I guess none of us did it.”
But she was wrong. One of them had murdered their host. And only you can figure out who it is before they get away with it!
