A 'serious parody' of Rainbow Dash being shipped with everyone by shipping her with shipping itself.
Everyone knows Rainbow Dash is free game to be shipped with anyone and everyone, but what happens when she gets shipped with the concept of 'shipping' itself? It's a serious look at a parody-like concept.
"Of course I'm sure, now seal me up!" Derpy just shook her head and did as she was told, carefully making sure that the tape will be strong enough to hold while still letting air in for the box's passenger.
Dash found herself getting ever more excited as her eyes became accustomed to the darkness. Not that she had much to see, since the cardboard box only just had enough space to fit her. She shifted her legs to a more comfortable position and tried to calm herself. Last time she got so excited the box soaked through and she fell out. As she calmed, she thought of where she might end up. Manehattan? Fillydelphia? Maybe even Cloudsdale or Canterlot!
After a minute, she felt herself being lifted up. The slow bump of being carried brought a new flush of excitement, and it took all she had not to squee in pleasure. After a short canter over to the delivery wagon, she felt herself being slid into place. Her wings were uncomfortably wedged against the box, restrained from reaching their full length. The box felt like a furnace, and RD's stuck out tongue dripped with saliva, wetting her chest. She silently wondered what could possibly be more wonderful than the sensations she was experiencing, short of joining the Wonderbolts.
She listened sharply to the sound of boxes being loaded, felt the gentle bump as each was slid into place. After a few more minutes, the loading stopped and a slam indicated the door of the wagon was shut. Soon, Dash felt the wagon shift, and knew it was about to depart. It bounced around a bit as whatever pony was pulling it got used to the reins, and then smoothly accelerated to speed.
This was the first time Dash had ever tried the airmail, she realized. She figured it would be smooth, without all the gentle bumps that so tantalized her, but she swore to herself she’d at least try it. And while the straightaways were quite smooth, Dash found herself thoroughly enjoying the surprising amount of turns the driver took, sliding the boxes around in the cabin and giving Dash that amazing feeling of being completely out of control she so loved. Each slide was so tantalizing, it was almost as if she was plummeting through the air, but it was so wonderfully short-lived as the box bumped against the wagon’s wall and stopped. And every time the box behind Dash would gently nudge her, making her feel ever more close to her own body despite the space around her not changing.
She tried to wipe the sweat on her brow, but her soaked foreleg only wet her head more. Every single inch of her was covered in one liquid or another, and the box was as warm as it ever had been. Dash wished she could squeeze her forehoof between her cramped legs, just to relieve some of the pressure. She eventually couldn’t take it, and shifted to put herself against the side of the box. It had been her downfall last time, but so had not having the proper preparations. Derpy had been informed to use the tape to give the box a full wraparound, so there was no way it wouldn’t hold.
She silently enjoyed her new position for a few minutes, but soon felt the bump of a touchdown. She stopped and waited for the wagon to be opened, checking the box to make sure it wasn’t revealing anything. It was wet, of course, but nothing too terrible. She waited excitedly as the mailponies slowly unloaded the packages. Soon, she felt herself hefted up. The box caved in slightly, causing Dash to almost cry out, but it held form enough to hide its contents. She felt every last bump as the mailpony trotted to whatever destination had been set on the box. It was torture of a wonderful kind trying to restrain herself from screaming in ecstasy, and her mind swam in endorphins. After an eternity, Dash was lowered rather harshly to the floor, and her rump nearly bounced on the ground. She made a gasp and her eyes shot wide as she silently waited to be revealed. She released her breath as she heard the mailpony canter off, apparently not curious enough to check the contents.
Suddenly, a trace of fear began to grow as Dash looked around her narrow field of vision. She realized the box was pretty well secured, and it would be a harsh effort to bust out. She was contemplating how she would do it when she felt herself lifted up again. This time, however, the feeling reached all around her, almost as if she were being lifted by magic. It was a tantalizing feeling, and Dash forgot herself as she let the warmth wrap around her. As she returned to the ground, though, she realized that she was likely going to have a pony to explain to once the package opened. On cue, a box cutter emerged through the cardboard and cut a path. After a few more cuts, the box’s flaps opened.
“P-princess?”
“Rainbow Dash.” Celestia looked down into the box at the sweaty, sloppy pony that resided within. “What brings you to the castle?”
“Ah, umm...” RD quickly scrambled into an upright position and bowed. With a streak of red across her sky blue face, her eyes traced their way up the imposing figure in front of her, not quite reaching the face.
“Well?” Celestia reached forward and pulled Rainbow’s face up. “Why did you decide to ship yourself here?”
“It wasn’t really my choice...” Rainbow Dash was the most embarrassed she had ever been. “My friend just sticks whatever mailing address she can get.”
“Sounds a little dangerous. Any purpose?”
“N-none I’d like to discuss.”
“I see.” Celestia smirked. “Perhaps you can drop in again sometime. Anyway, before you head out, care to stay a while? You’d probably at least like a bath by the looks of it.”
“Th-that’d be nice... I guess.” Rainbow Dash followed the princess deeper into the castle.
I apologize for this part’s shortness, but the particular style does not lend itself to length. At least not of the story...
Rainbow Dash toweled off the last of the water from her shower. It had been far more fun than she expected to take a shower with the princess, and the warm smile on Celestia’s face indicated she had enjoyed the company. Rainbow wondered if Twilight had been taught any of the many tricks Celestia seemed to know, and decided to make it a priority to get a little one-on-one time with her friend when she returned home.
Suddenly, a letter appeared in front of Celestia. As the princess opened and read it, Rainbow Dash’s mind ran. The paper was obviously specially made to teleport, but it could apparently be used to send things that would normally burst into flame as well, like the Gala tickets, and in this case, a small picture.
“Princess,” Rainbow began. Celestia looked up from the letter. “Can you send packages and such with the magic mail?”
Celestia appeared to understand Rainbow’s train of thought almost instantly. A coy smile spread across her face. “That’s an interesting idea, Dash. Let’s see if it... goes anywhere, shall we?”
In a few moments, Dash was wrapped head to hoof in the special paper. She couldn’t move for fear of it falling off, so Celestia used her magic to carry her over to the fire. Rainbow Dash let the gentle sensation wrap around her tantalizingly, but as she drew near to the fire, she became worried.
“What happens if something goes wrong?” she asked, taking advantage of her free jaw.
“Don’t worry,” Celestia responded. “I wouldn’t be letting you do this if I thought you could get severely hurt.”
“What about slightly hurt?”
“Do you want to do this or not?” Celestia asked, stopping in front of the flames.
Rainbow thought for a moment. “Let’s do it.” With that, Celestia dropped her into the fire, and the world disappeared.
Rainbow was stuck looking into a psychedelic abyss, colors shifting all around her. She felt weightless and her body tingled with a sensation several times stronger than that of being lifted by telekinesis, yet she was suddenly uncomfortable in her locked position. She tried to hold herself steady, but the urge to move finally won over, and the paper over her body fell away as she contorted herself.
Exposed to the open, the sensation became even greater, and Rainbow felt wetness form across her body, especially between her hind legs. She reached down and touched the wetness, and the contact point surged with feeling. She began to rub as sensation surged through her body, the surprisingly slow trip giving her plenty of time to enjoy herself.
Soon, though, she realized that she had been holding her breath, and she found it impossible to breathe. Her body shot with adrenaline as fear set in, but the hormone only made her sensations more sensational. She slowly began to slip out of consciousness as the oxygen in her lungs ran dry, and she rubbed ever harder, her weakened mind assuring her that the best way she could die was in the lap of absolute pleasure.
As she neared blackout, Dash’s body reached its tipping point, and she breathed in sharply as wave after wave of pleasure wracked her body. As her senses returned to her, she realized she was staring at somepony’s legs. She looked up to see Twilight standing over her, mouth stuck agape and eyes wide as saucers. She looked around the room, and looking between her legs she spotted Spike, his face and chest covered in a clear liquid. He shared Twilight’s look, but with the addition of a certain extension standing readily below his belly.
“Um... hi, guys,” Rainbow said as she got up and dusted herself off. “So, uh... special delivery, I guess.”
Santa Claus’s trip had been going better than usual, and the sleigh was getting along in record time. He threw a few praises towards the reindeer pulling the cart as he reached back for his sack to pull out the next bundle of presents. Something stopped him, though. There was movement in the sack.
He yelled for the reindeer to keep going the normal course as he turned around. Digging through the sack, he wondered if it was another elf that had gotten lost or decided to stow away for some reason. He was shocked when he found a sweaty, sky-blue pegasus laying in the midst of the toys. She looked up at him as he looked down at her, shock and embarrassment easily apparent on both faces.
“Wh... what are you doing here, Rainbow Dash?” Santa started, his shock slowly turning into a detective-like search for the meaning behind this discovery.
“Well, uh... it’s kind of a long story,” responded the filly, her cheeks blushing red.
“Care to tell?” Santa offered a hand and pulled her from the bag. She was soaked head to hoof in sweat, and another curious liquid soaked the area between her hind legs. She also seemed to be having trouble folding her wings in.
“Alright, um...” Rainbow began nervously, “where should I start?”
It was about 15 minutes before the turn of the day on the International Date Line, and Santa’s sleigh was getting its final launch checks completed. Little did the elves know that there was a stowaway in Santa’s sack, and the probes that were supposed to check for such a thing had managed to miss the mark once again.
Rainbow Dash was squirming through the bag, attempting to find a good place to settle for the ride. While riding in boxes was amazingly fun, they had started to become boring, and she couldn’t exactly convince Twilight to let her use Spike, even after he had demonstrated his maturity. Probably something to do with us ruining her carpet that one time, she thought as she found the perfect spot.
The advantage of Santa’s sack was all the random bumps and edges amidst the haphazard sea of boxes, which provided much more stimulation than being in a box could ever do. It was also much more tightly packed, and the pegasus found her enjoyment rising.
Suddenly, everything shifted, and Rainbow Dash let out a gentle squeal as the cargo traced across her body. After a quick bank, the various packages settled, and the filly began to squirm to keep up the sensual experience. However, it did not take long for the tantalizing pressure across her body to diminish as presents slowly left the sack. She burrowed herself in more, finding another suitable location to enjoy the various movements of the flight and gyrations of her own body. Unfortunately, the presents, and the pressure, kept disappearing, and every time Rainbow neared her peak, she found herself unable to continue and had to bury herself even more.
Rainbow was running out of room. There was barely a layer of toys below her now, and she knew the flight would soon end with her unsatisfied. However, she found the perfect spot deep in the sack, and began to move herself as much as possible as the ride took a sudden turn for the smooth. She could feel herself getting ever warmer as sensation surged through her body...
Light found its way into Rainbow’s eyes as the toys above her suddenly shifted. As she looked up at the source, she found herself staring at a face. Her sudden jolt of excitement pushed her ever nearer to the peak... but soon came crashing down as fear took over.
“Ah, I see.” Santa smiled warmly. “Well, believe it or not, I don’t mind.”
“Really?” the pegasus joyously exclaimed, grinning brightly. “Oh, thank you!”
“No need to thank me,” Santa said, handing over a cookie and watching Rainbow munch down on it. “You’re going to be very useful, my dear.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow Dash suddenly noticed she was dizzy. And tired. Dizzy and tired. “Wha? What’s goin’ ooooo-”
The filly awoke with a start. Her vision came into focus and she noticed her friend Applejack, standing in front of her, smiling. Rainbow asked her friend, “mhhhtmh-”
There was a ball gag in her mouth. Her legs were tied- with ribbon, she realized, as she turned her head to look. And below her tail was a big red bow which a big red stallion was staring at hungrily. Dash looked back up at Applejack, who smiled even more warmly as she closed her eyes and leaned down toward the bound pegasus’s lips.