> Cutie Mark Confusion > by Sky Blue CMC > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Prologue: The Ring and the Crown > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Changelings. The least loved creatures on the face of Equus. Loved only by our own Queen. Not even our brothers and sisters. And yet... I, Princess Meteora, successor to my mother, Queen Arachne, and twin sister of Princess Chrysalis, have no love at all... not even my own mother cares about me. All she wants is for me to be the perfect daughter, and that's exactly what I don't want... I'd much rather have my sister Chrysalis take the throne than take it for myself. She doesn't want the power either, but at least she'd have a King by her side. Prince Nicholas, known to many of his foes as Discord, is a kind-ish fellow... to Chrysalis alone. He's the devil to everyone else... even me... but I believe I can make a deal with him. He loves Chrysalis, so he wants something he thinks I have, and he has something I want: the ability to be loved by her... and feared by all else. Well... no. For me it's the other way around: I want Chrysalis to be afraid of me, and I want everyone else to love me. All I have to do is ask Nick and he'll hook me up with some chaotic spell or something. Or maybe I could ask Nightmare Moon in my dreams... neither one would be compliant without receiving something in return... and I doubt Nightmare has any desires for anything I have to offer. All she wants is to be freed from the moon, and if nopony frees her, she'll escape with Antasma's help in 383 years... according to The Legend of the Mare in the Moon by Starswirl the Bearded and The Dark Prognosticus by Dimentio, that is. I wish I could ask the authors of those books for help... I think to myself... But I doubt I could... they're immortal, sure, but they're centuries old and I don't think they give advice to fans... they'd probably be too tired to. Well... I can't say I didn't try. I just killed a bad guy. There was this one pony... his name was Shadow. He was a shadow pony, obviously, and he said that Dragon Lord Flayme had stepped down and appointed his son Torch to be the new Dragon Lord, due to his victory in the Gauntlet of Fire. But Shadow was lying, Torch wasn't even Flayme's son! He seized power and stole the bloodstone scepter from the rightful victor of the Gauntlet, Ignis. And so... I killed Shadow. I'd have killed Torch too, but he was made invincible by his title as Dragon Lord... and the magic from the scepter from which he seized it. So I had to wait for him to appoint a new Lord... and I knew who it would be ahead of time: his daughter, Ember. Even though Ember's the last one Torch would want succeeding him, she would become the first Dragon Lord to understand friendship... and there would be no competition from then on. Ember would choose her successor based on a test of friendship, rather than a competition of strength. I have no clue who this next Dragon Lord will be... but I know he or she will be even more knowledgeable of friendship, and thus more friendly, than any prior Dragon Lord. Shadow may have been lying, but he was honest about one thing: Torch would reluctantly choose his best subject for ascension: His own daughter. The one who had just been born last year... she already ages slower even than other dragons, who age slower than most other life forms. Still... right as Shadow was, I don't regret killing him. I had to warp him back in time to my own era, but I don't regret it... He betrayed Luna and caused her to become Nightmare Moon... and now I have noone to ask for help but this... Discord fellow. I will confront him tonight and propose my offering to him... maybe then he will help me. I just have to tell him a little white lie, and he'll get what he wants... and so will I too, get my wish. Half past three in the morning, and he still hasn't shown up. Nicholas had better have a very good reason for being a whole eighth of a day late... three hours, just wasted... by waiting for a mage who would never come... until suddenly... A beast materialised out of thin air. He was tallish, about twice as tall as a pony, if not thrice. And he had pale white skin, red eyes with no pupils... and ebony dark hair. That hair colour was the only distinction between him and an albino of his kind... he was what we know of as a human. He was the Prince of Chaos: Nicholas Melodius Gasho... AKA Discord. "Salu, future sister." He said unto me, his voice a bit unlike his usual one... a bit more gruff and loathsome than his usually charming voice. "Hast thou the crown thy mother gaveth thee?" "Nick, you know I don't take you seriously when I hear you talk like that." I uttered in reply, though disbelieving my own words... not exactly the lie I wanted to tell him. I only took him seriously when he used the Royal Equestrian Tongue. But I wanted to take his words as a joke for the time being... he's most serious and honest when he's joking. "Use your normal tongue... the lizard tongue you were born with." And so the charm returned to Nick's voice, which spoke softly as he said "What is it that you wanted to receive in return?" He asked as he saw the crown I had procured... nay, swindled... from my mother... right before killing her. "For what alleged possession of mine would you so willingly give up your crown to the sister who despises you?" "Magic." I reply, my univerbal response seeming to sate his desire for information, at least according to the fading starlight in his crimson irises. "Yours is much stronger than mine." I added. "So I want you to give me a spell that will make me loved by all creatures... except my sister. She needn't hate me, but if she feared me, she would finally liberate me... albeit in the form of banishment from my own kingdom. Is this spell something you are capable of casting?" "It is." So Nicholas was more useful than I gave him credit for... and I gave him a lot of credit. "This..." He showed me a ruby-encrusted silver ring, which was untarnished by the wear and tear his royal gown suffered over the years. "Was a gift from my father. My brother and sister have the other two rings, which each have a different gem of their own within them: Thorne's ring has a sapphire, and Rose's ring has an emerald. These are the Rings of Chaos, the chaos that which they wield is a construct of three elements: Fire, Ice, and Rage. The gems are named accordingly, except the Emerald of Rage is more commonly referred to as the Nether Emerald." My interest was piqued. I had read about these three gems, and I respected Nicholas even more knowing that he and his siblings were their bearers. "Thank you." I relinquish my crown, and title as Queen, to Nicholas, who relinquished his ring, and title as Prince, in return. "I hope that you and my sister will always be happy together. She deserves a nice man like you..." but as I spoke, Nicholas transformed into an even less intimidating beast: A creature with a deer antler, a bat wing, a pegasus wing, a goat leg, and a dragon's tail... as well as some various other body parts. Only his irises and tongue remained the same. Even his eyeballs changed colour and nature. This man had become a draconequus... or was he one before? That wasn't the important thing. With the Ring of Fire, I could finally be loved by my fellow Equus-citizens! I walked away from Discord and fastened the ring to my horn... not having fingers was troublesome, but the ring fit my horn anyway. I transformed into a little pegasus filly... one who wouldn't age a second until after taking the ring back off... but then I realised the ring was invisible. Having no idea where it was, and knowing I no longer had a horn, would be quite troublesome... I guess a fake name would have to be in order. Looking at my unkempt self in the hive's mirror, which was still as green and disgusting as it was before, being made out of hardened egg-sac juice, I came up with a false identity: Sky Blue. I added "Cloud" as a middle name, due to the white streaks in my mane. My next move would be to go to Cloudsdale and try to blend in... Wish me luck, Nick! I thought to myself as I rest my head and smiled for the first time in my life... on the bed on which I would sleep for the last time in my life. > Chapter I: Blue Among Skies, Sky Among Blues > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's been centuries since I've been in Cloudsdale, and I have finally been adopted! The family in question, the Blues, said that they didn't care that I wasn't really a pony, and that they loved me for the real me. It took longer than I expected, and you wouldn't believe the excuses I had to come up with for other prospective parents as for why a centuries-old pony who looked like a filly was in an orphanage in Cloudsdale. Once I said that Starswirl cast an agelessness spell... and another time I said that I was a host for Antasma... which was more of a half-truth than a lie: I, as Chrysalis's sister, and former Princess of the Changeling Hive, was visited by Nightmare Moon every night for centuries... and the spirit that turned Luna into Nightmare Moon was Antasma. Still, being a visitee and being a host are not exactly the same thing. And yet another time, I said that I made a deal with Discord to become immortal... while that was one result of the deal I had made with him, the purpose of it was to become well-loved... and it took a few centuries for Discord's end to pay me back for what I gave him: The heart of Chrysalis... metaphorically and literally speaking, seeing as how she's literally heartless now. Only a couple of ponies who knew what I really was actually loved me for who I was, meaning that the ring was a slow acting artifact, and I had to be patient. Among those ponies were two very close friends of mine: Hazel Bell and Big Red. Hazel was adopted by Sapphire Swirl, and so Big Red and I were for the most part alone together... he was cute, but we were totally just friends. He told me he was gay, but I think he was lying just to see if I liked him... if I would "go for" him, I'd be upset at him being uninterested in me, but I'm just a friend to him, as is he to me. Even though I was adopted and he wasn't, I'm sure he and I can still be friends. I'm glad the Blues take me for what I am, but I'm afraid I might have to erase their memories... or at least Midnight's. She's not exactly a fan of the Changelings, since they were responsible for the invention of Cyberponies, which killed her mother by order of their leader, Hate Seed. Vivian might be allowed to remember who I am, since she didn't witness her mother's death and harbours no resentment against my kind. Also, Vivian and I bond very well, almost as if we were actual sisters by blood. I'm so happy I'm able to be their adopted sister... and that they know how it feels to be an orphan like me. I feel sorry for Big Red... nopony will adopt him because he's an earth pony with spider-like webs coming out of his hooves... almost as if he were the real-life version of Spidermane. I hope he will find somepony who loves and accepts him... either before or after he gets kicked out of the orphanage. I hope he finds somepony who cares about him like I do. And if he really is gay, I hope he finds the perfect guy for him. If he's straight, and I think I told him this before, he probably is, I'm not the one for him... I'm too young and nothing to obsess over. What could he possibly see in me? That's not important... I'm going to my new home tomorrow, and I want to get some rest... maybe my sisters can help me sort out my feelings about this new concept of love. I hope they can, anyways. I think I should probably close this diary before any of my friends see this page... goodnight, my book-friend! That night I had my first dream since I made my deal with Discord. In it, he was there, in his draconequus form, floating above a patch of daisies made out of vanilla frosting. He was sitting on a cloud made of cotton candy, and drinking a glass of chocolate milk while leaving the milk part intact. He slurped up the glass and said "Thank you so much, Princess!" sarcastically to me and I knew what was wrong: Chrysalis left him and told him to never come back. "I'm sorry, Discord..." Was all I could say to him... but then I said something else anyway. "...but I'm not apologizing!" He deserved a lack of apology from me... all I did was give him what he wanted... it was my ex-sister who dumped him... but kept her crown anyway. I knew that this was no ordinary dream... it was a vision of the past, present, or future... what I didn't know was which of the three it was... and I'm not so sure I wanted to know. As soon as I realised my "dream" was real, it ended... kinda like a lucid dream: to novice lucid dreamers, it ends when you realise that it's a dream... but to advanced lucid dreamers, it becomes more real when you realise it's a dream. I suppose my dream would have continued if I had more experience with lucid dreaming... but I don't know. When I woke up the following day, I realised that I was carried to my new home in my sleep. I had my journal in hoof, still open to the page I was writing in the night before, but closed flat on my belly so it was illegible to my sisters. "Haylo." I said groggily to them, the ponies who had taken me in. "What time is it?" "Seven..." Midnight answered. "...In the evening." she added just to clarify, as if I couldn't tell due to the absence of a sun on the eastern horizon. "You slept through your whole first day with us. I carried you over here, to your new home. Vivian would have helped, but she's too young. She really wanted to... she said she really connected with you at the orphanage." "The whole day?" I asked. "That can't be right... I had a very short dream, and I thought I woke up right afterward." "Dreams happen at different rates than they're observed at, Sister Sky." Vivian said... for a foal-aged filly, she was quite intuitive. "My imaginary friend Lulu told me that." "Imaginary, huh?" I asked. "Did this Lulu have big wings and a sparkly dark crown?" Vivian nodded. "She had big beautiful white wings, a shimmering sunset-golden mane, and an ebony crown that glimmers in the starlight." "Not the pony I was thinking of." I told Vivian. "I thought you meant Luna, Princess of the Night. I call her Lulu too sometimes... but she calls herself Nightmare Moon... and probably will continue calling herself that until the Elements of Harmony are retrieved and used on her to remove her dark powers. Who's this other Lulu you mentioned? Your imaginary friend? Is she an alicorn?" Vivian shook her head no. "She's a pegasus... but her sister is a unicorn. Her name is Lucilia, but I call her Lulu for short." Vivian paused a moment before telling me the next thing. "She said she wanted to speak with you alone in the Dreamscape... maybe you should stay up tonight so you'll be tired for tomorrow night. OK?" With that I agreed to go to my bed and get some time to myself. > Chapter II: Nightmares and Daydreams > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- In my dream, a pony who fit Vivian's description emerged in my sight... every bit as beautiful as my adoptive sister described her. I knew that this pony was Lucilia, the pony that Vivian said wanted to speak with me. I let her voice soothe my ears as she spoke softly and told me of her history. Apparently, she was what was known as the first Princess of Light, back in the Pre-Celestial era... when Equestria was first founded. The newest Princess of Light was in fact not Celestia, but her latest graduate student, Sundance Glimmer. I knew that Sundance was talented, but... a princess? She's only 23, for Pony's sake! "Excuse me... princess?" I asked Lucilia. "I know a thing or two about princesses... and most of them who are alive are alicorns." "Sundance is one of the few exceptions to that rule..." Lucilia explained. "And another one is a promising young filly named Golden Shine. Celestia's even considering letting her sister Luna teach a young pony related to Golden Shine after the inevitable end of her dark reign as Nightmare Moon. In five to seven years' time, she will get her chance to ask. But that's not the reason I wished to speak with you, Meteora. Vivian has told you who I am, right? Her imaginary friend? That was a lie I told her, because the truth is something only a Changeling like yourself or an Aurora Spirit like myself could understand." "Excuse me..." I asked. "A what spirit? Aurora has been dead since before my grandmother's grandmother was born! Her six spirits were all Changelings in life and gods and goddesses in their afterlife... but that's just an old ponytale! Aurora only had one spirit, not six!" "One spirit, you might say... divided into parts." Lucilia explained. "One for each of the six main senses: Sight, Sound, Scent, Touch, Taste, and Thought. As Princess of Light, I represent Sight, guiding lost creatures in their dreams in Luna's absence. Orion represents Touch, as his has always been an emotional existence. Zel represents Scent, being the apothecary that she is. Clarice represents Sound, lyrically ungifted though she may be, her wisdom is always worthy of a sage. And lastly, Gloria represents Taste, for she alone knows what it takes to enrich the tongue with pure flavour." "What about Thought?" I asked. "Who represents that?" "That would be difficult to explain. The wielder of the main sense changes with time... but as of now, you know him as Draco... Prince of Fire." "I thought Nicholas..." I paused before correcting myself." ...I mean Discord was the Prince of Fire. Are you telling me that he lied to me and stole the Ring of Fire from its rightful bearer?" "Well... yes and no." Lucilia answered. "Yes, he lied to you... but no... he didn't steal the ring from its rightful owner. He asked Draco for the ring, and Draco obliged. He became the rightful bearer... until he relinquished that right of his to you... in vain." "The 'vain' part was my fault." I told Lucilia. "I thought Discord and my sister could be happy together... but it turned out to be a lie. Yes, Chryssi did love him, and he loved her... but Changeling Queens aren't legally allowed to have mates, since they, unlike other Changelings, can reproduce asexually. She didn't have the heart to tell him... and he repaid her by making sure she didn't have a heart at all." "You needn't tell me such things, princess." Lucilia told me. There was some loss of the sweetness in her voice with that last word, as if she meant it sarcastically and rudely. "I know when someone of my stature like yourself, deprived of the very thing that gave her her title, feigns regret and apologizes empty-heartedly." "Really? Your 'stature' huh?" I asked, legitimately confused at this sudden lack of humility. "That's not exactly a word I'd expect to hear from an Aurora Spirit... if that's what you really are. For all I know, you could be Discord in disguise again... trying to crush my heart like my sister's was crushed." Lucilia spread out her wings and revealed a single feather coloured differently from the rest. It was coloured lavender and indigo, like the colour of the sky at twilight... just after the sun sets. That was the colour of the coat of Aurora's firstborn, Lucilia Flash. "I was named after the pony who gifted me with this feather... and chosen by that pony's mother, Aurora, to be her first apprentice. I hope you understand now that what I've been saying is the truth: I am an Aurora Spirit." "Forgive me for being so blind, Lulu." I said, trying my best to look and sound pitiable. "I'm sorry I accused you of not being something you are." "Don't call me Lulu, Meteora." Lucilia's stern voice returned to shatter my eardrums. "Only the ones who believe I'm imaginary call me that. If you must give me a nickname, call me Lia." "Princess Lia..." I said to myself... and to Lucilia. "Where have I heard that one before? Certainly not Princess Leia, commander of the Stellar Rebellion and long term servant of Aurora Glimmer? I know she's not the same Aurora, but you do sound an awful lot like one of her servants. I'm also well aware of the differences between a servant and an apprentice, so don't try to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about." "If you know the difference, you should know that Leia was neither of those." Lucilia's vocal charm had suddenly been shattered beyond repair. "She was a disciple... a student. Nothing more, nothing less. Understood?" With newfound fear of this seemingly lovely individual plaguing my very heart and bones, I shivered uncontrollably and nodded, unable to respond with even a single word. "Very good... then farewell and good morrow, sister Sky." Lucilia regained her not-so-permanently lost charm in her voice and added "And may the Stars forever light thy path!" to her sentence. She gave me a light kiss on the forehead and my fear vanished in an instant. I awoke immediately, confused and broken but alive and reborn. It's as if whatever Lucilia gave me in her words killed me... and whatever she gave me with her kiss revived me. With this newfound respect for life in tow, I looked into the mirror of my cloud home. I saw my true form for the first time in over three hundred and seventy years. My Changeling form... which I thought was lost forever when I put on the ring. Lia must have removed the ring with something that happened in that dream. I thought to myself. But whether it was the kiss or the speech I have yet to learn. > Chapter III: Flaming Thunder > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "How did this happen?" I asked myself. I tried to change back, and it was actually possible again. I was afraid I would be stuck in my pony form forever. "And who is that pony in the mirror behind me?" I looked into the mirror and I saw my sister. "Oh... that's right. Vivian?" "Yes, sister Sky?" Vivian asked me. "You were dreaming with your eyes open again. Not daydreaming, since it's half past one in the morning, but... dreaming. With your eyes open. There's somewhere I want to take you in six hours. Meet me in the Cloudsdale Skyfield at seven." "What's so important at seven-thirty that I have to be there a half hour early for?" I asked my sister. I hope it has nothing to do with Lia. That pony scares me. I thought to myself. "Is it a special mission?" "Nope. I just wanted to introduce you to my friend." Vivian told me. "In the waking world... a different pony this time. He's very nice." "He?" I asked. "A colt, perhaps? I don't wanna meet him. This night, it's too dark, don't you let me go. I'm horror-struck, and I'm not leaving home, I'll spend forever, wondering if you knew..." "No time to sing..." Vivian said to me. "you can do that when you meet him." "No. I'm not falling in love with some stranger. If you just want me to befriend him, fine. But I'm not gonna be set up with one of your friends." After the allotted time passed, and seven-thirty arrived, Vivian and I had arrived at the Cloudessium, inside the Skyfield. She wanted to introduce me to Lucian Flash, a unicorn with gifted magical prowess. He was able to cast the cloud-walking spell and the levitation spell both at once. It was pretty impressive of him, but not exactly crush-worthy. Then... I saw... zooming past me three times in one minute, like a lightning bolt on fire... a Junior Wonderbolt. "Who..." I started to ask Vivian. "Is that mysterious blur of flaming thunder?" "You just said his name, Sky." Vivian told me. "Flaming Thunder. Champion of fourteen Junior Wonderbolts Derbies in a row, one for each of the moons he was on the team. Only one year since he joined, and he's already the captain's wingpony. If he wins the next one, he'll become the next captain." "Who's the current captain?" I asked. "Isn't it one of the Phoenix twins?" "Phoenix Blaze." Vivian clarified. "Fifteen time champion of the Junior Derby. His brother's not quite as good. Phoenix Swift only won thirteen times." I wasn't really paying attention to what my sister had to say. All I could focus on at the moment was how Flaming Thunder flew... quickly but also gracefully. He was the best flyer in Cloudsdale, and possibly all of Equestria. Maybe even all over Equus. I just had to introduce myself to him. I flew next to him, careful not to give him a boost or a hindrance... I didn't want to get him disqualified for cheating... or banned from the Junior Wonderbolts. "Haylo, Flamie." I said to Flaming Thunder, though I wasn't sure if he liked nicknames. "How you doin'?" "Doing well..." Flaming Thunder replied to me. "Who are you, sky blue pony?" "That's my name. Sky Blue." I told him my fake name. I was in my pony guise, and I didn't want him to think I was evil... and him seeing me as a Changeling would make him think I was the enemy. "I'm not exactly a sports fan, but you're quite the impressive flyer!" "Yeah. I'm known for being on fire when it comes to flying. My flying's so hot, it's electrical!" Flaming Thunder replied. "They don't call me Flaming or Thunder for nothing." "Hey, sorry to leave so soon, Flamie..." I told Flaming Thunder, "...but I hafta say something to my sister's friend or else. Stay fly, my friend. Sky out!" And with that, POW! I was gone. The real reason I had to go wasn't to chat with Lucian, but because I was a bit nervous talking to Flamie. As soon as I met him, I felt a strange feeling I never felt before, and I knew exactly what it was. The last thing I ever expected to have, what with me being a Changeling and all: A crush. I blushed just thinking about him. My first crush, and after only two days of being in a normal-ish pony body with a normal-ish pony life. Anyway, enough of that. I gotta close this journal before one of the Phoenix twins reads it... or worse: my sisters. I actually wouldn't mind if Flamie read it... it'd be less embarrassing than telling him in person. Except that I wouldn't want him to know I had only just heard of him today. But if somepony else knew about that... somepony that I didn't tell in person, nor want to let know at all, then I would kill myself. Well... first I would have to give up the Ring of Fire. Then I would become mortal again. What I really don't want others finding out is that I'm a Changeling. I erased Midnight's memory of that fact already, because Vivian is the only one I can trust with that knowledge. Well... maybe Lucian... but only since he understands dreams better than I do and could potentially help me solve my Lucilia conundrum. Remembering that I still hadn't talked to Lucian, I flew slightly downward to his altitude. I was legitimately impressed that he was able to hold a cloud walking spell for that long... but he was still just a potential friend if anything to me. "Hello." I said to Lucian. "Vivian tells me you're a skilled mage. Seeing your cloud-walking spell, I don't doubt her... or you." "Thank thee." Lucian replied to me in Old Equestrian. "We are Lucian Flash, apprentice of Princess Luna. We are studying magic under her tutelage... we hopeth one day to learneth about the magic known as Dreamwalking." "Ambition is the enemy of plight." I told Lucian. "Shakesmare wrote that. Do you know the rest?" "And yet so many souls remain the same. Defiance is the enemy of light, and yet there is no darkness we can blame." Lucian recited. "The moon knows not what sunlight tends to hide, within her shadows and her starly night. But time alone can showeth us the tide, upon which we depend for heaven's light. The shadows only rise when light pervades, so rest not when thou makest harmony. A luminary cast in our crusades, shall light the way through illucidity. Ambition is the enemy of plight, defiance is the enemy of light." "Impressive. Most impressive." I complimented Lucian on his recital of the sonnet. "But thou art not a Dreamwalker yet." I spoke to him in his preferred tongue, as a sign of our friendship. "Meet me tonight at my cloud home, and you can study my sleeping patterns. I want to introduce you to a few of my friends in the Dreamscape... old and new." Did I just invite this pony over to my house? I thought to myself. What is wrong with me? If I was gonna invite anypony it shoulda been Flamie! Well... whatever. What's done is done. I'd like to introduce him to Lucilia, Discord, and a couple of other dreamy ponies anyway. And maybe Midnight as well. "We shall be there when the stars cometh into the midnight sky... at twilight." Lucian gave a chuckle that was a little bit out of character for an alleged student of the beloved Nightmare Moon. "We hopeth to see thee then... in thy dreams." Lucian began to grin, but stopped as he was about to show me his teeth. For the brief second I saw them, they looked sharp and unclean. For a brief second, I coulda sworn that Lucian's eyes glowed red... but I told myself I was just imagining it. There's no way any friend of my sister's is evil... I wouldn't believe it if it were true. Either that's not the real Lucian, or I'm just losing my mind. By twilight that night, Lucian, Vivian, and I were alone at my house. Midnight was working late in the Factory, so she wouldn't be home for the next nine hours. I've come to realize that "late" meant "all night" to Midnight. And I knew why: She had to make sure that the Cyberponies never came back. Hate Seed caused too much damage, both collateral and emotional, to be trusted anywhere, even though he was trying to redeem himself, it was gonna take some time. Anyway, with Midnight gone, I was free to assume my true form. Even though I didn't trust Lucian completely, I certainly trusted him enough to see my true form... he was gonna see it in my dreams anyway, so I might as well have shown him in the waking world. Anyway, I believe the time is ripe for me to close this journal... for good this time. I'll continue my life story in a new journal... whenever I feel ready to do so. I feel it might be best not to mention the dream I'm about to have anyway.