Feelings

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Rainbow Dash liked Applejack... or maybe it was Pinkie Pie? Fluttershy? She wasn’t sure. Sometimes she’d tell more complicated stories to her friends just to throw them off the scent. Not that there was a scent mind you, because if there was one thing that Rainbow was sure of, it was that there was no way she liked Twilight Sparkle.

Rainbow was a tough pony, the kind of pony that worked hard every day to achieve her dreams. She had sweat so much in her life that she could probably have a lake named after her. She bucked clouds, shattered thunderheads and broke the sound barrier for a living. She was the epitome of awesomeness.

Twilight was a nerd, the kind of pony that laid around in her library every day stuffing her brain with useless junk like advanced physics and math problems. If she read any more, Rainbow figured her head would explode from sheer lack of room for storage. She read, checked out books and cleaned for fun. She was the definition of egghead.

They were so different from each other. There was no common ground; no mutual interest. Twilight didn’t enjoy sports or flying or awesomeness, and Rainbow certainly did not enjoy sitting around all day learning useless things! No love could stem from that! No place for affection to grow! Liking an egghead like Twilight would be undeniably, unquestionably, uncool.

So why then, was Rainbow having such a hard time concentrating on the one cool book in Equestria? Why were her eyes always so glued to the lavender posterior that bounced about softly as its owner hummed to herself while re-shelving books? It definitely wasn’t because Rainbow was attracted to it; the mere thought was ridiculous!

Applejack. Now that was a mare that was cool to like! The earth pony was brave, strong, loyal, honest; and she was a winner. Applejack worked harder than anypony else in Ponyville! The one mare that could give Rainbow a run for her money in any contest from running to horseshoes, Applejack always forced Rainbow into her A-game. Liking a pony like that was obvious, there was so much common ground there! Applejack was awesome, just like Rainbow! Not as awesome, of course, but awesome nonetheless. This was precisely what she told her friends, aside from the mare herself.

Yet, no matter how many times she said it, no matter how much she wanted it to be true, her thoughts always returned to that infernal librarian! Not because of loyalty, there was nothing to be loyal to; most certainly not feelings, and that was the bottom line!

Besides, the Rainbow Dash didn’t have time for lovey-dovey, sappy feelings like that- not that any were there to begin with. Especially not feelings geared towards beautiful violet eyes, or a shining lavender coat! Rainbow was going to be a Wonderbolt, and if she wanted to be a Wonderbolt, she had to live and breathe awesomeness.

Twilight? She was the opposite of awesome. She was boring. She liked slow paced music, eating by candle light and watching the sun set. The very idea of such activities sent a shiver down Rainbows spine- not because she wanted any part of them, mind you! They just... weren’t cool. Rainbow needed excitement, the thrill of adrenaline coursing through her veins. There was no way she was going to get that near Twilight, especially because her heart most certainly did not beat faster with a nerd like her around!

Pinkie Pie was funny and carefree. Her ridiculous antics were enough to keep most of the town in stitches. There seemed to be no limit to the things that pony could do, from baking to partying, joking to pranking, Pinkie Pie was an authority on fun. She was another pony that Dash could get behind liking. Pinkie was sweet and innocent, never expecting anything more than good times from her friends. She was generous, often giving out free baked goods to her close, personal friends (a demographic that included the whole town, much the the Cakes' dismay.) What wasn't there to love?

Still, that one spark that Rainbow wanted could not be found when the party pony pranced around her. Not that it ever appeared around Twilight! That would be absurd!

No, the spark belonged to Fluttershy, her longtime best friend from flight school, or so Rainbow wanted to believe. Fluttershy would never do anything to hurt her friends. She was always in a good mood, often greeting everypony she managed to talk to with a smile or piece of advice. Since Rainbow knew her the longest, it would make the most sense for the cyan pegasus to like her, right? But much as Rainbow searched and searched, she still didn't feel anything beyond friendship for the meek young pony.

There was one unicorn who managed to get Rainbow a little hot under the collar. Not Twilight, she'd never think of her that way! Especially not in her dreams! No, this specific plot was white and studded with diamonds. Well, not really. Rarity's cutie mark hardly consisted of real diamonds, but they still complimented her fine figure. On more than one occasion, Rainbow had been forced to hold herself back, lest she give it a resounding slap. However, despite being a close friend to the pegasus, Rainbow didn't really want anything more from Rarity. Art appreciation was as far down that road as she wanted to go.

Not that Twilight didn't have a rocking bo- ahem, nice figure, but she was still Twilight. A librarian. An egghead. Uncool...

Then again, in her own way, Twilight was kinda like all of her friends. She was brave, hard working and honest like Applejack. Fun and endearing like Pinkie Pie. She was smart and caring like Fluttershy. And Rarity certainly had nothing on her in the generosity or beauty departments! It really was too bad that her eggheadedness and dorkiness rendered all of those other awesome traits worthless. Seriously, Twilight was the only pony who could manage to make cool things uncool.

“Rainbow, could you give me a hoof with this?” came that angelic- Rainbow shook her head violently- Twilight asked. “I can't quite reach the top shelf.”

“Uh, sure, Twi',” Rainbow set her book down, she wasn't getting that much reading done anyway, Twilight's flank had made sure of that. Not that she'd been staring at it.

A thick, leather bound tome floated over to the pegasus, who took it in her mouth. Grunting slightly from the excess weight added to her face, Rainbow took to the air. She drifted over to the top shelf and set the book in the empty spot. “There,” she said with a smirk. “That wasn't so bad.”

“Thank you Rainbow,” Twilight breathed. “Sometimes I wonder just what I'd do without you.”

Suddenly, Rainbow's wings felt stiff, (probably because she'd been flapping them all day long helping Twilight clean up the library.) At any rate, they were rendered unflappable. With a gasp, she dropped to the floor, or rather, the pony that was standing on the floor directly under her.

“Oof!”

“Ah!”

Dash opened her eyes. Her vision was filled with a wonderful shade of lavender, and a subtle, yet intoxicating smell of lilacs filled her nostrils. She pulled her head back and noted with mild surprise that her face was just an inch or so from Twilight's face.

Was it this hot earlier? Dash wondered. She didn't remember her skin feeling like it was on fire just a few minutes ago. Celestia must have cranked up the sun, there was no other explanation. Rainbow would personally buck anypony who said otherwise.

“Um, sorry, Twi',” she said quickly, scrambling off the unicorn as fast as she could. “I don't know what happened.”

“It's okay,” Twilight answered. She brushed herself off. “It was an accident.”

Oh, Celestia, that was another thing! That unicorn was so darned forgiving! How many times had Rainbow crashed into her now? She was losing count, and that by itself spoke volumes. Yet every time, it was always the same thing in Twilight's eyes: an accident to just brush off.

Whatever, she still wasn't cool.

“Thanks for your help today, Rainbow,” said Twilight. “I really do appreciate it. You're always here for me when Spike's away.”

Rainbow's stupid wings didn't want to stay the buck down. She'd probably overused them today, and they were sore. Yeah, that's it! It would explain their stiffness too!

“No problem,” she answered. “Anytime, really.” Dang, Twilight must have learned some kind of mental manipulation spell, cause she was finding it increasingly difficult to look her in the eyes. She had to leave, this was too much craziness for one day, and if she kept hanging around Twilight like this, she was bound to catch her lameness.

“So, uh, I gotta go home now. To do... something...Tank! Yeah, gotta feed Tank, y'know... my pet.” she started for the door. “He gets hungry sometimes.” The door opened. “When he does, I just... give him food!”

“Um... okay?”

“So, I'm just gonna go home now,” Rainbow said, closing the door. “To feed him... Tank, that is.”

“Uh, bye?”

“Bye, Twi!”

With a sigh of relief, Rainbow clicked the door shut. She double-checked to make sure no one was watching, then shook herself off and walked down the steps. She was just going home, not running away. There was nothing to run away from! She wasn't running away from her feelings or anything!

That would be uncool.

The Deal

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Under the darkness of the night, deep in the undergrowth of the Canterlot park, a young stallion paced back and forth. He was unaccustomed to shadows, having lived in mansions all of his life. He was also unused to traveling alone, servants had always followed him around, stuck up his plot. But the letter had said to come alone, and here he was.

He'd been surprised, at first, to receive a small slip of paper addressed to him in the morning. It told him of something spectacular; an offer no sane stallion could ever refuse. Rich as his family was, he got a distinct feeling that it wasn't to be passed up.

A rustling of the branches behind him alerted him to a newcomer's presence. Perhaps the stallion who sent the letter, then? About time, he'd only been waiting around for an hour!

A shadow made its way towards him, stopping just feet away. It wore a cowpony hat, he mused. How interesting. Cowponies were a rare and nigh unheard of breed in the upper echelons of Canterlot society. What was this one doing here? What was his business with him?

“Ah see ya made it.”

Her business, his subconscious corrected. “Of course,” he said plainly. “A gentlecolt is never late.”

The cowpony nodded. “Okay, let's git down tuh business.” She pulled out a small sheet of paper and gave it to him. It was a photograph. A photograph of a beautiful young unicorn mare with a white coat and purple mane. She smiled happily at the camera, her eyes sent a chill down his spine.

“Oh, my,” he whispered softly. “She is quite fetching.”

“Tha's Rarity,” the shadowmare said. “An' tommorah, she's gonna ask you tuh be her date at the Gala.”

“Really?” the stallion said, surprised. “A mare like her? Why, that's fantastic!”

“No,” the cowpony said firmly. “It's not.”

The stallion raised an eyebrow. The mare on the picture was the definition of beauty, of elegance, what would possibly be wrong with taking her to the Grand Galloping Gala? “Oh?” he asked. “Why is that?”

“'Cause that's not the deal.”

“Deal?”

Another nod from the shadow mare. She pulled a large, jangling sack out of her saddlebags and tossed it on the ground at his hooves. “Five hundred Bits,” she said. “It's all Ah own. Five hundred Bits and a good word from me to any mare in Ponyville, if'n yah make her sick o' stallions.”

“Sick of stallions?” the stallion spluttered. “You mean mistreat a fine lady? What kind of colt do you take me for?”

“The sensible kind,” the shadowmare said. “Yer only gonna go tuh one dance with her, right? Why not make a little money on the side, and get a chance with another cute filly in the future?”

The stallion's brow furrowed. He looked at the sack of Bits sitting at his hooves. “You make an interesting case,” he said. “But why? What do you get from this?”

“Let's jus' say yer not th' only pony who know how tuh treat a lady right.” she answered.

Suddenly, the stallion understood. This wasn't some kind of underhoofed trick, or some scheme for petty vengeance or spite. This was a matter of attraction, something he definitely understood. He'd spent many a youthful day chasing after young fillies that always seemed to pick all the wrong colts. If he could help something go right for once... “Sick of stallions, you say?”

“Make her hate their guts.”

Another look at the sack of Bits, another thought about her deal. Any mare in Ponyville, huh? Even that beautiful dentist? For helping a love blossom? It seemed so right, no deal with other businessponies had ever been this good, or clear cut for that matter.

Still, there was the issue of morality. Could he really just walk all over a beautiful mare's feelings like he was being asked to? For money? Even if he was being paid to help a true love grow, that seemed incredibly uncouth.

Then again, it was only one dance, right? It wasn't like he had to become her colt friend and treat her that way. Certainly the mare in the picture could stand a few hours of stereotypical rich snob. Would anypony truly get hurt? He didn't think so. Not for very long, at least.

He looked back at the shadowmare in the cowpony hat. “You've got a deal.”

Curiosity

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Scratch, scratch, scratch.

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

Twilight Sparkle watched as, for the umpteenth time, Rainbow Dash scribbled something out on her infernal notepad. She sighed and turned her attention back to her book, Starswirl the Bearded: Unappreciated Greatness, but found that she was still unable to block out the constant scratching of her friend's quill. The short, light noises where spaced just far enough apart to pull Twilight out of her zone every time she entered it—it was impossible to get any reading done at all!

With mild indignation, the unicorn remembered the first day Rainbow had shown up to the library with her notepad in hoof saying something about needing to vent. She had strutted right through the door and plopped herself on the couch, writing on the sheets of paper like a madmare. At first, Twilight had been excited, perhaps even a little impressed to see her athletic friend taking such a sudden interest in the art of note-taking, but day after day of Dash's constant writing had worn her down, and now that excitement was gone, replaced mostly by annoyance at the distracting noises that kept interrupting her studying.

Scribble, scribble scribble.

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

“Rainbow, what are you doing over there?” she asked finally, a hint of her irritation seeping into her tone.

Over on the couch, a single pegasus ceased all movement and flushed. “Um... nothing?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well, could you go do nothing somewhere else?” she asked. “That scratching is driving me nuts! What are you writing that's so important anyway?”

Dash visibly gulped. She set her quill down and eyed her notepad. “Erm... nothing?” she said with a squirm.

“Really?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You've brought that thing here every day for almost a month and you expect me to believe that it's nothing?”

“Well, that's what it is!” the cyan pony huffed defensively. She adjusted herself on the couch so that Twilight couldn't see her face before picking her quill back up and resuming her writing.

Okay... Twilight thought, turning back to her book. Sorry for asking...

Scribble, Scribble, Scribble.

Scratch, Scratch, Scratch.

“Hey, um, Twi?”

Twilight closed her eyes and breathed out sharply. “Yes?”

“What rhymes with coat?”

At this, Twilight immediately glanced up. The sheer randomness of her friend's question was enough to force an incredulous look onto her face. “What? Why would you want to know that?”

Dash squirmed uncomfortably on the couch, biting her lip. “Well... I...” she spluttered. “I just do! Okay?”

Twilight sighed—she hadn't been expecting a straight answer anyhow. Searching her expansive vocabulary, she began listing off appropriate words. “Well, there's 'boat,' 'tote,' 'gloat,' 'throat,' 'float—'”

“Float!” the pegasus exclaimed excitedly, her eyes alight with fire. “That's perfect! Thanks Twi!”

“'—bloat...' huh?” Twilight looked back at Rainbow, who was now scribbling furiously on her notepad again. “Um... You're welcome?”

Why would she even need to rhyme anything at all? Twilight wondered, watching Dash hum as she worked. Rhymes didn't usually hold any place in writing except for one field. Suddenly, something occurred to her. She... she wouldn't be doing that! Would she? Once again, she studied her feathered friend—her eyes were drilling into the paper, scrutinizing whatever it was that she had written down.

With a growing suspicion, Twilight reached out with her magic and pulled the Library's Card Catalog off of her desk. Flipping through the pages, she examined each name until she found—ah! Rainbow Dash... hm... Gah!

Quickly, Twilight launched a hover spell and caught herself before she fell off the couch in surprise. She had to double check just to make sure she wasn't somehow imagining the words. T. S. Fillyot? Colt Whitman? Cloud Mckay? But... but I've never checked out any of these for her! Her eyes slid over to the management column, and sure enough, Spike's name was signed under every single one of Rainbow Dash's recent check-outs.

Poetry books? Rainbow Dash—the Rainbow Dash—had been borrowing poetry books from her library?

One more time, Twilight examined her friend. She was lithe and strong—the perfect athlete. Rainbow had always been about one thing, and one thing only: speed. Anything else had always taken a backseat in her world. Most days, her skipped weather shifts left her without any bits to buy food, and Twilight wound up feeding her supper—not that she really minded, that's what friends were for, right? Still, it'd been just a few months since Dash had even considered reading anything at all, let alone poetry.

“Rainbow? Are you writing... poems?” Twilight asked, fighting back her shock.

Dash froze; her eyes widened and her quill dropped out of her mouth. “W-what?”

Her reaction, along with the growing redness on her face, all but confirmed Twilight's assertion. Reaching out with her magic, Twilight grabbed a hold of Dash's notebook. “Can I see them?”

“No!” Dash exclaimed desperately, latching onto the wordpad with all of her might as Twilight hoisted it up. The pegasus beat her wings with the fury of a hurricane as she tried to pull it back whilst hanging in the air.

“Oh, come on, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight chuckled. “They can't be that bad!”

“They're private!”

Twilight blinked. She'd never seen Dash so flustered; her face could have rivaled Big Macintosh's for color, and her tone was worse than begging—pleading. With a pang of remorse, Twilight realized that, in Dash's position, she wouldn't want her literary artwork read either. Without thinking, she let go of the notebook.

Rainbow was launched across the room and into the couch the second Twilight released her magical hold. She crashed into the cushions and tipped the piece of furniture over, spilling out onto the floor on the other side. With a groan she sat back up and swayed a bit. “Ow,” she said rather calmly, massaging her forehead.

Twilight leaped off her chair and charged across the room. “Rainbow Dash!” she cried out, “Are you okay?” In a flurry of wholesale panic, she scooped up her friend and examined her forehead. A bright red fluid dripped from her skin, just below Dash's hairline. Come to think of it, her entire face was looking rather pink at the moment... probably a result of increased blood flow due to physical exertion, Twilight reasoned.

“'M fine, Twilight!” the pegasus protested, her speech slurred just the tiniest bit.

“No, you're not, you're bleeding!” Releasing her friend's head—only to grab her hoof—Twilight began escorting a heavily remonstrating Rainbow Dash to another room. “Come on,” she said, “I've got a First Aid kit in the kitchen.”

Immune to Rainbow's struggling, Twilight plopped her friend down on the floor by the table and began searching for her medical supplies. “Now,” she mumbled to herself, “Where did I put that bag?” She pulled open the nearest cabinet and shifted a few loose papers to the side, revealing a small tote bag filled with assorted bandages, gauze, scale-scrapers and needles. Behind it was something not quite unwelcome in her circumstances.

“Oh, look!” she said, hauling both items out of the cabinet. With a silly grin, she turned back to her patient and placed the nurse's hat upon her head. “I don't even remember buying this! How do I look?” she asked, striking a pose.

Rainbow Dash just stared at her unblinkingly from her spot on the floor.

After a moment of silence, Twilight frowned. “Okay,” she sighed, taking the hat off and placing it back in the cabinet. “I guess it was rather silly, wasn't it? I'm sorry for wasting time.”

After pulling a bandage and some antiseptic out of her First Aid bag, Twilight zipped it back up and set it on the table. She walked back over to Rainbow Dash and made to apply the antiseptic, but a light brushing on her side alerted her to a problem. “Um, Rainbow, could you put your wings down? They're in the way...”

Dash's face grew noticeably pinker at Twilight's words, but her wings stayed put. “I... I can't...” Rainbow responded, her eyes shut tight.

Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “Why not?”

If it were at all possible, Dash managed to squeeze her eyes even tighter. “I just can't! Okay?”

“Um, okay... Hang on then, this will only take a second.” Twilight could have used her magic, but she needed to see what she was doing, and that meant getting up close and personal with Dash's little laceration. Strangely, Rainbow seemed to be even further away than before—it was like every for inch Twilight grew closer, Dash shied away.

“Seriously, Twi,” she protested. “I'm fine!”

Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. “You may be fine now,” she groaned. “But we have to cover that cut up before it gets infected! Now hold still; it's just a little antiseptic.”

As Twilight's hoof settled on Dash's forehead, said pegasus's wings gave a frantic little twitch and she gasped. “Sorry,” Twilight said, grimacing. She noted her friend's erratic breathes and shakes. “Does it sting?” she asked.

Dash grunted in the negative and allowed Twilight to place the bandage.

“There, done!” Twilight smiled happily.

Suddenly, the door to the library crashed open and in stomped a lavender pegasus with a golden mane. “Rainbow Dash!” Cloud Kicker roared. “Your patrol started three hours ago! Captain or not, I'm dragging your plot to work!”

Twilight thought she heard Dash say something like “oh thank Celestia!” before calling out to her colleague: “I'm in the kitchen! Hang on!”

Dash looked back at Twilight, whose surprise was clear on her face. “I've actually been expecting her for some time now,” the pegasus explained, her features settling back to normal. “She always makes me work... Sorry, Twi, I've gotta go.”

“Three hours?”

“Uh, yeah.” Rainbow chuckled nervously. “I figure if I can clear the sky in ten seconds, I can afford to blow off a little time...”

“Come on, Dash!” Cloud Kicker complained. “Some of us have clouds to buck!”

“Right! Uh, see ya later, Twi!” With that, the pegasi galloped back out the door and leaped into the skies.

“Ugh, why do I even bother?” Twilight grumbled as she put the First Aid bag back in the cabinet. “That pony will never learn!” At least Dash was actually going to work today, as opposed to shirking her duties... again.

Twilight walked back into the lounge room of the library and sighed when she took in the mess. The couch was still flipped over, and various cushions and throw pillows littered the floor—add that to the tea she'd spilled and the books she'd knocked over in her hurry to tend to Rainbow Dash's injury, and it looked like a hurricane had blown through.

Grabbing a towel from the counter in the kitchen with her magic, she started sopping up her spilled drink before it could spread to anything made of paper. At the same time, she reached out and began to stack up the assorted fallen books, placing them in the corner for Spike to re-shelve when he returned from his sleepover at Apple Bloom's house. When she was finished, she flipped her couch back over and started to put it back where it belonged, but something fell to the floor with a slap.

It was a notebook. A light blue notebook with “Property of Rainbow Dash, PRIVATE!” written on its cover. Rainbow Dash must have left it here by accident, Twilight thought, picking it up. I wonder if... She began to open it, but immediately slammed it shut. No! She said she didn't want me to read it! With a look of fierce determination, Twilight placed her friend's notepad on the coffee table and went back to cleaning.

While she worked, Twilight found her attention continuously drawn to the little blue wordpad. It sat there, mocking her with it's forbidden interior. I don't see how taking a peek could hurt... That's when she'd tear her eyes off of it and went back to work, she wasn't about to betray her friend's trust like that. No matter how curious she was about Rainbow's sudden interest in poetry.

She finished cleaning faster than she'd initially anticipated and found herself back in her chair with her Starswirl biography. Try as she might though, Twilight still couldn't take her mind off of Rainbow's book. It wasn't like she wanted to disobey her friend's wishes—quite the contrary, actually. It was just that Rainbow Dash had been bringing that notebook with her wherever she went for weeks, and Twilight wasn't the only pony that wanted to know what was written within. Lately, a common topic of conversation among her friend's was a debate over what Dash could possibly be doing. Now that Twilight knew what it was—poetry, of all things—she had to read it.

Besides, if Rainbow Dash was indeed writing poetry, she'd need to show it to somepony someday, right? Who writes poetry for themselves? Twilight would be doing her friend a favor in pre-reading them! Who could possibly catch more errors in syntax or prose? Dash may have been taking leaves from some of Equestria's best poets, but she was still new to writing, she was bound to make plenty of mistakes. Now that she thought about it, it was more of a travesty to not read Dash's notebook.

Newly convinced of her most righteous and noble of missions, Twilight reached out with her magic and grabbed the notebook off of the coffee table. With a fat grin, she opened it and looked at the first page. That is, until she realized what she was looking at.

Twilight's jaw dropped. Is... is that what I think it is?

Hearts. Dozens, maybe hundreds of them littered the paper. Each held the phrase: “RD+TS.” Twilight stared blankly at the page, unsure what to make of them. How... what?

Stay calm Twilight! Hearts are fine! They're organs! They mean life, and happiness and joy! Twilight gulped. And love... But only sometimes! Besides, “TS” doesn't necessarily mean me... It could mean... It could mean... Gah! Why the heck can't I think of anypony!

I've gone crazy! Twilight exclaimed inwardly. Yes, that's it! I've gone crazy and I'm hallucinating! There aren't really hearts on this paper, and Rainbow Dash definitely doesn't have a crush on me!

A few shaky breaths later, and Twilight decided she'd come back to examine the true contents of the page at some other point; after all, she was supposed to be reading poems, not looking at Rainbow's... doodles.

Flipping to a random page somewhere far away from the first one, Twilight came to her first lines of writing. Twilight sighed with relief, words were something she knew. There was a comfort in words. Comfort she definitely needed after that nearly panic inducing illusion. I can't believe that I even believed myself for a second, Twilight thought with a chuckle. Now to examine some of Dash's artwork.

Her eyes settled on the first words, and, settling into a pattern, began to read the poem with much fervor. Twilight's excitement, however, was short lived, as the hallucinations fled from her and revealed the terrifying truth.

My Twilight, my Twilight, who shines like a star,
I wish I could tell you just what you are.

Your beauty, your brains, for me know no bounds,
they make me want to howl like a pack of wild hounds.

I wish I were worthy; I wish I were smart;
I wish I had brains, to make better art!

When you hold me, you don't know, but you make me shiver;
you send a great chill from my heart to my liver!

My Twilight, my Twilight, I'll never have you,
but I know in my dreams, I'll always be true.

Seriously? Was this for real? When the heck did this start? Twilight racked her brains looking for something, anything that could have even hinted at Rainbow's feelings.

Nothing. There was nothing at all.

Wait. There was earlier, when Twilight had been applying the antiseptic to Rainbow's forehead—her face had been bright red. But that was it, wasn't it? Dash hadn't even so much as hinted at her affection before that... had she? Twilight was smart, but even she had to admit that without any experience in the field of love, anything that the pegasus might have done would probably have flown over her head—no pun intended.

Well, whatever this was, at least she knew it now. Then again, Twilight had just snooped into her friend's private notebook and learned one of her most personal secrets. Considering the nature of said secret, Twilight was conflicted about continuing.

Closing her eyes and cursing her photographic memory, she turned the page. Okay, just one more. I mean, it's not like she's written too many more of these; I bet this is the only one! The poem was really good in and of itself, actually—much better than what I'd expect from somepony like Rainbow Dash!

It was the truth. When she stepped back—way, way, back—she actually found herself enjoying Dash's poem. It was nice, if a little simple, and it definitely wasn't lacking emotion. Twilight didn't exactly know what to make of the compliments, that was for sure; she was beautiful? The poor pegasus likely needed to have her head examined.

Bracing herself, Twilight opened her eyes and prepared to read the next poem. “Oh, come on!” she cried when she saw the title: “This thing I feel.”

There's this thing, it's called love, and I've got it real bad;
It's not simple love, like for mom or for dad.

It's not like a love for a brother or sister,
or even a love for a magazine mister.

With your beautiful eyes of a deep purple hue,
oh, Twilight Sparkle, my love is for you!

Twilight found herself smirking as she finished. Magazine mister. She chuckled. How clever...

Still, it was another poem about her—one that actually declared love. An uneasy feeling grew in her stomach; this wasn't just some schoolfilly crush, was it? This was serious. Perhaps she should talk to Rainbow Dash tomorrow—No! If I do that, she'll know I went through her notebook! Her inner voice screamed.

This is more important! Twilight reasoned. Rainbow was Twilight's friend, and a close one at that. If she was having problems, she'd be there for her—regardless of how awkward things could become, or how angry Dash might get. Still, she wouldn't know what to say anyway—that she'd never really thought about her that way?

Come to think of it, Twilight hadn't really ever thought about anypony that way before; she'd always been too focused on her studies. After a few moments of pondering her feelings, Twilight decided that she didn't really have a problem with the idea of an intimate relationship with the cyan pegasus. But just going for it, especially not knowing if she could ever truly love Rainbow back was far too rash of a decision to make in a few short moments. Honestly, she was still getting used to the idea that anypony could like her of all ponies.

Cautiously, Twilight flipped through the notebook until she discovered a series of blank pages. Turning back a few sheets, she found the last entry. The ink was still fresh, no older than an hour or two. This must be the poem Rainbow Dash was working on earlier, Twilight thought, recalling the series of infuriating quill scratches that prevented her studying. It was funny really, if she hadn't gotten so annoyed by them, she'd still be ignorant of her friend's feelings. And again, Twilight felt her stomach tie itself in a knot. She was still unsure whether or not this discovery was a good one.

One month? Two months? Three months? More?
How many times have I knocked on your door?

Well passed two years now, maybe three yet,
I've loved you since the day we met.

Your eyes, your nose, your lavender coat,
all of your beauty makes my heart float.

It's your smarts, your dorkiness, your bookish ways,
even your eggheadedness brightens my days.

I want to tell you—I want to so bad,
but I'm afraid you'll reject me and make me feel sad.

So I hold it in as much as I can,
and forevermore, I'm your number one fan.

Somewhere, something deep inside Twilight clicked. Most of Dash's poems seemed to have one common theme: worry. For some reason, that didn't sit well with Twilight. Sure, she'd never been in a relationship—sure, she'd never make a decision so major as this without thinking it through—sure, she'd never actually considered Rainbow Dash as a potential lover, but that didn't mean she'd just crush all of her friend's hopes without giving her a chance! She almost felt offended that Rainbow would even consider Twilight capable of such callousness!

She needed to confront Rainbow Dash about this. If the pegasus truly had been hiding these feelings ever since their first meeting—Dash's jumpiness and giggling now taking on a different meaning under the light of new information—then it was imperative that Twilight take some initiative and alleviate some of her friend's stress. She'd need to think about what to say, of course, and whether or not she should actually start a relationship with her was still in the air, but there was something, some little voice in the back of her mind that didn't find the idea of getting intimate with Dash so bad—in fact, it seemed to be trying to convince her that not only would it not be bad, it would be great!

Come on, Twilight! it said. It'll be fun!

How do you know that? Twilight defended. I don't even know how a real relationship works! What if I screw it up and wind up not friends anymore?

Please, the voice laughed. You really think Rainbow Dash could ever hate you? Take a look at that notebook right there and tell me the Celestia honest truth.

The voice had a point there. From the poems she'd read, it certainly looked like Rainbow was head over hooves for her—a concept that Twilight found both flattering, and scary.

But... but I don't even know if I like Rainbow that way!

That's why there's this thing called “dating,” duh!

Once again, that voice had a point.

One by one, Twilight's arguments fell victim to the voice's logic, until she came to only one conclusion: she would give Rainbow Dash her chance.

With the weight of a heavy decision off her shoulders, Twilight decided to talk to Dash the next day and, if she was willing—Twilight had a had a hard time believing she wouldn't be—they may even go on their first lunch date.

Turning back to the first page, Twilight reexamined the little hearts. It was still hard to believe that a pony like Dash could develop any kind of attraction to her. What was so special about a librarian? The only things Twilight had to her name were the title of “Celestia's Protege,” and a perfect grade point average—things that somepony like Rainbow wouldn't even care about in the first place.

Even harder to believe was the fact that, in just a few short hours, Twilight might be about to begin her first non-platonic relationship. She turned the page and found yet another poem, probably the first that Rainbow had ever written. Twilight chuckled at the thought that this whole situation had been kicked off by Rainbow's very own folly: skipping out on work.

It was getting late. The sun had long since set, and Twilight was getting sleepy. She looked at the poem before her.

Heh, poetry. Poetry had never been a literary genre Twilight had particularly cared for before—honestly, she actually found it boring. Poems were too dressed up and fancy to be all that enjoyable. Often times, they were simply garbage thrown together by love-sick ponies. Who would have thought that it would have been through this medium, that Twilight entered the world of dating?

Twilight yawned. She needed to get to bed soon if she wanted to be well-rested for tomorrow. Still, it wouldn't hurt to read one more before turning in, would it? After all, it was the poems in this notebook that had told her the truth about Rainbow Dash's feelings for her. Besides, it was a short one—beginner's writing at best. She'd read it and get to bed after.

Her eyes settled on the page, and she began reading, her face warming as she took in the words. By the end, she thought she felt steam coming out of her ears.

Roses are red,
So are my eyes,
I want to stick my tongue in your thighs.

On second thought, maybe she'd just wait for Rainbow to tell her herself...

Author's Note:
Words cannot describe how much I hate this; it's probably the most vile, disgusting bunch of text my fingers have ever typed up. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm posting it.

Hopefully, this is the worst thing I'll ever write.

Seven Minutes

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The room was dark and quiet; the only sounds that could be heard were the heartbeats of the ponies within. The air was warm and heavy, uncomfortably so. Once again, Twilight Sparkle slammed her shoulder against the door, then groaned when, again, it yielded no positive results. “Darn it!” she growled, stomping a hoof on the floor. “Whose bright idea was it to play this stupid game, anyway?”

“I think it was Pinkie Pie's,” a raspy voice answered. “And she's not gonna unlock the door for a while—you know how she gets...”

Twilight sighed and rested her head against the soft wood of the door. “Ugh! Tell me about it! Really, who thinks up a game where you lock two ponies in a dark closet?”

When no response came from Rainbow Dash, Twilight tried to blast the door open with a heavy burst of purple magic. The wave of energy filled the room and crashed into the paneled barrier that held them prisoner, but when it impacted, nothing happened. The magic dissipated without so much as vibrating the door, vanishing with a silly squeak.

“What?” Twilight cried disbelievingly, “How in Equestria?” She took a deep breath and exclaimed: “Pinkie!”

There was a short pause, followed by the sound of ruffling feathers. “Um... Y-you do know what we're supposed to be doing... right?”

Twilight thought back to when Pinkie Pie had explained the rules of the game. She hadn't heard exactly what they were supposed to do while they were in here, but then again, she hadn't really understood anything that came out of Pinkie because she'd been so excited that she'd hopped around the library like a hyperactive bunny while she talked. “Not really, no,” she admitted.

Again, there was that pause. The air grew warmer, and Twilight felt the closet shrink. Well, maybe it wasn't shrinking, but she felt like Rainbow Dash was awfully close to her. Then again, they were in a closet, they were bound to have little room to move.

“C'mon, you've never played this game before?”

“No,” Twilight huffed. “Forgive me if I sound rude, but getting locked in a small dark room is not my idea of fun!”

“Twi, that's the idea.”

There was another pause. Twilight took the time to note that the closet did seem to be shrinking—her back was now pressed firmly against the wall, and Rainbow still seemed only inches away. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Of course it's not actually shrinking! she thought. That's impossible! It's just an illusion—because there are two of us in here the closet seems like it's half as big, that's all.

“So, Rainbow, what are we supposed to be doing?”

More feathers ruffled, and Twilight wondered why her pegasus friend couldn't keep her extra appendages still. “Well, uh...” Rainbow paused for a moment. “We're supposed to be doing, um... stuff...”

“Stuff?” Twilight raised an eyebrow, although she was sure Rainbow Dash wouldn't be able to see it through the darkness. “That's very articulate, Rainbow...”

“Huh?” came the response from her friend. Twilight didn't have to see Rainbow's face to know that she had, again, used a higher than fifth grade vocabulary with the speedster.

“Ugh,” the unicorn groaned. “What I meant to say is, can you explain a little more? How are we supposed to play this stupid game if I don't even know what we're doing?”

“Oh.” There was a short pause, followed by the closet shrinking even more. ”Well... one of those things is, uh, kissing...”

“What?” Twilight practically shrieked. Suddenly, the warm presence was gone and Twilight felt the closet rapidly inflate back to full size. There was a series of muffled thumps, followed by the sound of snapping wood.

“Ow.”

“Why in Celestia's name would we do that?” This game was getting more ridiculous by the second! Why did they have to kiss? That didn't make any sense at all! What kind of game consisted of going in the closet and kissing?

Twilight smashed her shoulder on the door, it jarred violently, but held strong. “Pinkie Pie!” she exclaimed, slamming against the door again. When she got out of here, she was going to give that pony a piece of her well-read mind! “Open this door!”

“Nope!” an over-ecstatic voice cheered from the other side. “Five more minutes!”

“What?” the unicorn cried, kicking the door. “Pinkie!”

“Aw, c'mon, Twilight!” Rainbow's voice had a distinct shakiness to it—like she was trying to talk while an earthquake rumbled under her hooves. “It... It's not so bad...”

Suddenly, the unicorn ceased her murderous assault on the poor closet door. Angling her vision to where she thought her pegasus friend sat, she said: “Not so bad? Pinkie Pie just locked us in a closet and now I find out that the only way I'm getting out is by kissing you? Please, Rainbow Dash, tell me what bad really is, then!”

“Well, at least you'd actually get a kiss for once!”

The hostility in Dash's tone startled Twilight into silence. Her mind reeled as she tried to figure out just what her friend meant by her very hurtful comment. “I... I've been kissed before...” she mumbled lamely.

“By who?” Dash growled. “Your parents? Shining Armor? We both know you've never even been on a date!”

“Shut up!” Twilight snapped. “You haven't met him! I don't know why you're pushing this stupid game so hard! We are locked in a closet right now, the last thing I'm worried about is getting kissed by anypony—especially you!” When Twilight was through, she was breathing heavily and fighting a twitching eyebrow. She waited impatiently for Rainbow Dash's angered comeback, but nothing came—there was only silence. Then, after a moment, she got her response, but it wasn't what she'd wanted—in fact, it was so quiet, so gentile, that she'd barely heard it.

A sniffle.

In one instant, Twilight felt her balloon of anger come crashing down in a huge torrent of guilt. She'd never been the patron saint of empathy, but she certainly wasn't stupid! Twilight had never heard of Rainbow Dash crying before—that was unheard of! But she was, a second sniffle—just as soft and hidden as the first—cut its way through the silence and confirmed it; that one fact by itself was enough for her sharp mind to piece two and two together. A strong feeling of discomfort solidified in her gut, making her feel like she'd swallowed a bowling ball.

Taking a tentative step forward, ignoring her unease, Twilight closed the small gap between her friend and herself. “Rainbow Dash?”

“Go away.”

Ignoring her friend's frustrated whimper, Twilight placed a hoof on her friend's shoulder. She noted with shame that the pegasus was quivering under her touch. “Rainbow...”

“Go.” She sniffled again. “Just leave me alone.”

Wordlessly, Twilight wrapped her friend up in her forelegs and squeezed her tight against her chest. Initially, the stubborn mare fought her and tried to maintain distance, but after a few moments, Twilight won their battle of wills and held her close. A warm wetness made contact with Twilight's fur as Dash buried her head under her chin. The spastic motions Rainbow made as she breathed sent shivers up and down Twilight's spine, but eventually they began to subside, growing farther and farther apart until the only signs of Rainbow's sadness were her occasional whimpers.

With a comforting nuzzle, Twilight closed her eyes and took in the light, airy scent of Rainbow's mane. Still, despite her comfort, Twilight couldn't help but feel a bit worried. Why did this feel so right? The warmth, the silky softness of Rainbow's fur, the way Dash's body seemed to fit perfectly against hers, Twilight felt like she was made to hold her friend—like her entire duty in life was simply to embrace Rainbow Dash. These feelings were foreign and scary—she felt content, like nothing could ever go wrong as long as this happening, but that was wrong, right? The house could burn down, they were still locked in a closet, a war could break out, leading to the deaths of thousands of ponies, and she didn't care at all.

Twilight didn't know how much time had passed when she heard Dash mumble something into her chest. Despite herself, Twilight gently ran her hoof through the other mare's mane. “What was that?”

Rainbow squirmed a little in her friend's embrace before bringing her head level to Twilight's. “Why?”

Twilight adjusted her hooves to compensate for Rainbow's shifting weight. “Why what?”

Dash's mane tickled Twilight's neck as she nuzzled back into a comfortable position. After a moment or two, Rainbow took a deep breath and answered her, “Why don't you like me?”

Twilight bit her lip, before she could answer though, she was interrupted.

“I mean, I'm trying so hard, but nothing's working! I... I just want you to like me, Twilight... like I like you...”

“How long?” Twilight's tone was carefully monitored—she didn't know anything about this subject and she didn't know what she felt. Then again, perhaps her continued desire to comfort Dash and stroke her mane was all the answer she needed from herself.

Rainbow nuzzled deeper into Twilight's embrace and sighed. “I don't know... since forever?”

Twilight fought the urge to laugh at her friend's simplicity. She was pretty sure Rainbow Dash was the only pony she knew who wouldn't question herself, or split hairs if she felt something like infatuation for another pony. “Is that why you chose me to play with?”

A few heartbeats later, Rainbow's head gently shifted up and down. “I... I thought that maybe if we did this that you might... that we could...” she trailed off with a soft sob.

“That we could what?”

“Never mind, it sounds stupid.”

With careful hooves, Twilight took hold of her friend's head so she could look her in the eyes. Though the closet was very dark, in close proximity, Twilight could make out Rainbow's glistening magenta orbs. Without blinking, Twilight ran another hoof through Dash's mane and spoke, “Rainbow Dash, you are my best friend; you know that you can tell me anything, right?”

Rainbow shifted her weight and turned her head away. “Well, um...” She paused. “I-I was hoping that maybe you might wanna be my very special somepony...”

Twilight's felt her cheeks grow warm and retracted her hooves, slowly placing them on the floor. “R-Rainbow... I've never... I-I don't...”

“It's okay... I understand.” Silently, Rainbow brought herself back onto her hooves. “I-I'll tell Pinkie to open the door...”

Somehow, Rainbow's choked remark stung more than anything else that had happened in the past few minutes. The weight in Twilight's stomach grew, expanding to her chest and settling around her heart. Why did that one fact feel so important? Was her body trying to tell her something?

Was she nervous?

Without really knowing what she was doing, Twilight released control of her body and allowed her instincts to take over. Reaching out, she wrapped a foreleg around Rainbow's midsection and pulled the pegasus back into her embrace. “Wait!”

“Whoa!”

Acting purely in the moment, Twilight latched onto Dash's face and jammed her lips onto Dash's—

“Um, Twilight? That's my nose...”

With a panicked squeak, Twilight let go of Rainbow Dash and jumped back. “I-I...” What did she just try to do? Did I really just... Biting her lip, Twilight closed her eyes and waited for her friend to react.

Nothing happened.

The silence filled the room like a heavy blanket; not even the sounds of Rainbow Dash's ruffled feathers could be heard now. With her heart beating like a jackhammer, Twilight decided to speak.

“I'm sorry—“ she started.

“Did—“ Rainbow began.

“Um.” Twilight gulped. Mustering up her resolve, she opened her eyes. “You go ahead.”

“Did you mean that?”

Did she? Twilight had never done anything without having thought it through very thoroughly before now, how could she gauge her intent when she hadn't even meant to do it in the first place? It was a decision made out of desperation, out of fear. But fear of what?

And that's when it clicked.

In retrospect, it was fairly obvious: wondering what her cerulean would do when she was in a tight spot or knowing exactly how to cheer up a saddened Rainbow Dash, that feeling of completeness she'd gotten just by holding Rainbow in her forelegs, they told her what she should have already known—what she did know, in a way. How could she not have known? Even before she'd gotten to know her friends very well, Dash had always been special, an anomaly. All of Twilight's friends held a place in her heart, but now she realized that Dash's place was much, much larger than usual.

“Yes,” Twilight whispered—more to herself than to Rainbow. “I-I think—no—I know so.”

Suddenly, a wall of flesh, fur and feathers slammed into Twilight, knocking her to the ground and pinning her down—she wasn't even able to yelp in surprise because her mouth had been taken hostage by a set of alien lips.

It wasn't magical; it wasn't a surreal, crazy, becoming or any of the adjectives Rarity's overly romanticized descriptions contained. Fireworks didn't explode and sparks didn't fly anywhere, but Twilight didn't care, it was still the single greatest feeling she'd ever felt. Rainbow's wings beat softly above her, creating a gentile breeze inside the closet and sending chills down Twilight's spine. A hoof wrapped itself around Twilight's head and pulled with all it's might, forcing her as close to Rainbow as physically possible. Not wanting to be left out, Twilight ran her hoof through Rainbow's mane for what was probably the hundredth time that night, causing her to shudder.

Sadly, it had to come to an end, as all good things must. Breathless and flushed, the duo lay on the floor, drunk on affection and satisfaction. They held each other close, sharing their warmth. No longer were they Twilight and Rainbow, somehow they had transcended beyond physical boundaries and become one spirit, one soul. If you asked Twilight at that moment, she'd swear that even their hearts were beating in unison.

“Twilight, I—“ Dash started.

“Rainbow,” Twilight interjected, snuggling deeper into Rainbow's embrace. “Do you know why still waters run deepest?”

Taking the hint, Rainbow stayed silent, setting her head back down on the floor of the closet. With a contented sigh, Twilight squeezed her once, and closed her eyes.

[X] [X] [X] [X] [X] [X] [X]

Twilight woke with a start. Where was the light? Why was she on the floor? What the heck was breathing—Oh! Right! Rainbow Dash... They must have fallen asleep in the closet.

Gently slipping herself out of Dash's grip, Twilight sat herself up and released a long, tired yawn. A few taps on the head woke Rainbow up, and she too rose from the ground, cracking her joints in a crass, uncaring way. “What time is it?” she asked, popping her wings.

“I don't know,” Twilight answered. “Passed seven minutes, probably...” The pair shared a laugh in the darkness of the closet.

“Best. Game. Ever,” said Rainbow. She nuzzled Twilight. “So does this mean that we're...” she trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

Twilight snickered. “I certainly hope so.”

“Really?” Rainbow cried, her wings flapping exuberantly. “I-I mean... cool. I've got some free time later, y'know... if you wanna hang out...”

Twilight couldn't help but smile at her friend's antics. She never would have pegged the Rainbow Dash as the shy type, but it was just too cute to mention—if she did, Rainbow would deny it and make an effort to change herself, and Twilight liked her just the way she was. “I'd like that.”

“C-cool.”

“So...”

“Yeah...” Dash shuffled her hooves against the floor. After a moment of silence, she opened the closet door, revealing a pitch black library. “I guess I should be heading home now, huh?”

Twilight bit her lip. “Well... I-if you want to...”

The silhouette of Rainbow dropped it's head. “So, I'll, uh, see you tomorrow?”

“Of course!”

A few steps later and Dash was at the front door. Twilight used her magic to light a lantern on the wall, revealing the shelves of books decorating the walls.

For the first time since before they were locked in the closet, Twilight saw Rainbow Dash in the light. Her coat was decorated in dust and dirt, her hair matted and tangled, hooves dirty and feathers disheveled: she'd never looked so beautiful. Twilight felt her heart jump as Dash opened the door to leave.

“Bye, Twilight.”

“Good-bye, Rainbow.”

With a final glance behind herself, Rainbow Dash walked out the door and started on her journey home. Twilight watched the door begin to close, but snatched it and held it open. “We open at six!” she called out as Dash disappeared into the darkness. “But I have to do some pre-opening cleaning, so drop by anytime!”

When the last shades of Rainbow's prismatic tail faded into the night, Twilight let the door close and sighed. If you would have told her that morning that she would have a special somepony by the end of the night—Rainbow Dash at that—she would have called you crazy, especially considering the avenue in which she'd gotten one, but nonetheless, it had happened, and Twilight was thankful for it.

Deciding it was well past bedtime, Twilight started for the staircase, only to spot something peculiar on the table: a note. It's messy, mouthwriting—even by non-unicorn standards—signified that Pinkie Pie was the messenger. She must have gotten tired of waiting for us, Twilight thought. Picking it up, Twilight held it against the light and read:

Told you so, Dashie!

Chocolate

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She's not gonna like it...

Don't be stupid! Who doesn't like chocolate?

It's not that, it's the day!

Duh, that's kinda the point!

The box tucked under my wing weighed a lot more than it should have. It was heart-shaped, as befitted the season, and the brightest shade of red imaginable. I gulped and knocked on the hard, wooden door to the library. Seconds passed, and nothing happened. My legs seemed to grow shakier as the time slipped by.

This was a bad idea...

C'mon! You're really gonna run away now? What kind of daredevil are you?

The door drew open; my heart skipped a beat. A beautiful lavender alicorn stood in the doorway, her eyes shining like amethysts.

The kind that doesn't take stupid chances...

"Oh! Hello, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight said cheerfully. "What brings you here?"

I bit my lip and looked away—I learned a long time ago that, if I stare at her too long, I'd start blushing; that was the absolute last thing I'd need right now. "Uh... I..."

"Rainbow? Are you hyperventilating?"

That got my attention. I wasn't hyperventilating, was I?

Come to think of it, my breathing did seem to be a little fast—like just ran a marathon fast.

Oh, Celestia, this is so uncool...

Forget it! Just bail!

"No!" I screamed, throwing the box to the ground. Twilight jumped back in surprise, taking cover behind the door as the container flew into the space she once occupied and landed on the floor of the library.

"R-Rainbow?" came her worried voice a second later, but I was already in the air.

I flapped my wings as hard as I possibly could, each stroke getting me farther and farther away from the train-wreck I'd just made. My eyes were watering, but I didn't care—they always do that when I muck this up.

Great job, fearsome daredevil! Make sure you look as brave as possible while you run away!

Hearts and Hooves Day is a stupid holiday...

All Your Fault

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What a great friend you turned out to be...

The room was silent except for the occasional sniffle or melancholic snort. Rainbow Dash sat at the front, nearest to the large, ornate container except for a few openly weeping ponies. Her normally wild and unkempt mane was neatly brushed and freshly washed; it flowed over her head and drooped over her face, covering her watery eyes. She was dressed in a simple set of lavender colored steel armor, decorated with stars—the only suit of its kind, and it was soon to be destroyed.

It's all your fault, you know. You insisted on having the job.

One of the crying stallions at the front approached her, tears still flowing down his cheeks. He took a deep breath and removed his ceremonial helmet before sitting down beside her.

You said you could handle it...

"I know how you must feel," he said after a moment, looking at the box.

"Oh, really?" Dash squeaked venomously. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she stared into the Guard Captain's eyes with unbridled rage. "I'm sure you lost the pony you lo—were best friends with on the first day you were charged with protecting her!"

You said you could keep her safe...

Shining Armor bit his lip. "You can't blame yourself, Dash. This is a sad day, but nopony could have stopped him; nopony expected it..."

"She did!" Dash sobbed, waving at the casket. "She did, and nopony believed her! And he... he..."

You said you would trust her...

"I know, Dash... I know," Shining said softly, pulling Dash into his embrace. "Discord's going to pay for what he's done."

"I don't care if he pays!" Dash cried, burrowing her face into the Captain's protective shoulder. "I just want my Twilight back."

And now she's gone forever, all thanks to you.

Moonlight

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Princess Luna inhaled the sweet, cool air of the night as she soared through the air and basked in the glow of her sky. If there was one thing that she was proudest of in her whole life, it was the idea of moonlight; it was not as harsh as her sister's sun, nor was it as beneficial, but little else could compare in the sense of sheer natural beauty.

Her moon was full tonight, and it cast its light wondrously upon the landscape. Luna loved to drift across the Equestrian skylines on these most gorgeous of nights—something she'd found herself doing much more often now than before she... left.

In the air beside her, Princess Celestia wore a frown as she beat her wings. "It's not that she can't take care of herself," she said, a touch of anxiety breaching her carefully constructed mask of confidence. "Far from it, it's just that she's so new to flying; I can't help but worry..."

"You should not, sister," Luna assured her, smiling in hopes that she might alleviate some of her sister's stress she that she too, could enjoy their flight. "Today is simply her first day as a princess, it is only natural for her to want to explore."

"But the skies..." Celestia countered, biting her lip. "The guards said their search turned up nothing. She's never flown before today—"

"And you know she won't take any needless chances," the Night Princess finished. "Twilight is a very sensible young mare, and I'm sure she's fine." That seemed to do the trick. Celestia's jagged wingbeats slowed down to a more controlled tempo.

"Besides," she added for increased effect, "isn't her friend Rainbow Dash with her? I am certain that the skies show Twilight no danger with her around."

Celestia sighed, and the sisters came to rest on a soft patch of cumulus. "You're right—I'm sure she'll be fine." When her sister didn't respond, Celestia glanced up at her. "What are you looking at?"

Smiling gently, Luna gestured with a hoof at an even smaller cloud drifting below them. Cuddled up in the moonlight laid a pegasus and a slightly larger alicorn in a shimmering tiara. Their tails were entwined, muzzles almost touching. Both were breathing deeply and facing the western horizon, where the sun had set just hours ago.

"Oh, I am more than sure," Luna said, stifling a giggle.

Beach

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The ocean rocked their little vessel with choppy waves and ripping winds. Planes roared above them, their engines only adding to the cacophonous roars of the ships and other, amphibious, vehicles. In one such contraption were five young women in camouflage uniforms, crowded around a large piece of parchment.

"Okay!" said their aptly-named leader, Sergeant Rainbow Dash, her multi-hued hair billowing in the wind. "Remember the mission: securing the package is the most important part of this whole thing and Celestia's asked for us personally to do the job!" The boat lurched, and the gang was forced to regain their balance. "That means everything else is secondary!" she added, eyeing her blonde friend.

Applejack nodded solemnly, rubbing a picture of a young, red-haired girl with her thumb.

"Division A is taking the left flank, Division B's got the right!" Dash shouted as the wind picked up.

“Where does that leave us?” asked the tallest one present, brushing a lock of amethyst hair out of her eyes.

“We’re going straight up the middle,” the sergeant answered boldly. “Divisions A and B are going to try to make a funnel for us to fight through, but it’s all we’ve got to work with.”

“Great.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “Send us into the fire again please, Princess!”

Dash nodded, folded up the map and placed it in her breast pocket. She looked around at her team with pride as the whistle blew and a voice came through her radio.

“T minus thirty seconds to shore.”

In the corner of their tiny vessel, Corporal Pinkie Pie sat with her bright pink hair tucked under a camouflage cover and counted her rifle cartridges with a toothy grin. “I hope changelings like beach parties," she said manically.

As they drew closer to their destination, loud pings could be heard amongst the cries of desperate fighting. Dash grabbed her rifle off its mount and stood up. “Everybody ready?” Nobody answered audibly, but each of them grabbed their weapons and fell in behind her. “Good,” she said, pleased. The boat jerked as it hit the earth. Slowly but steadily, the bow began to drop, revealing the scene ahead.

In the distance stood a tall, black, spiky structure that could be very well have been described as a fairy-tale castle from the nightmare realm. In its tallest tower lay their objective, just past the miles of barbed wire, explosive mines, sand pits and hundreds of soldiers. Bullets whizzed through the air, creating small explosions of sand on the beach before them as men and women on both sides fell to the ground, bleeding and crying.

Rainbow Dash stepped up onto the platform and gazed up at the tower. “Hang in there Twi,” she said to herself, checking the safety on her rifle. “We’re comin’ for ya.”

Journalist

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It was dark under Fluttershy's deck, that was for sure. And dusty. And webby. And kinda creepy...

Nah, it wasn't scary.

Not really.

Anyway, I inched my way closer to the voices above, making sure to keep my notepad from touching the damp dirt. When I finally reached the perfect spot to listen, a laid down low and placed the journal before me for quick note-taking. Snickering, I pulled out my pencil and perked up my ears.

"I don't know, 'Shy..." Rainbow Dash's awesome voice was completely unmistakable, even through the wood of the porch. "I don't really think I'm ready to tell her..."

I smiled a really big smile. I'd followed Rainbow Dash all the way from school in hopes that she'd do something extremely awesome that I could totally write for the Foal Free Press but, so far, she'd given me absolutely nothing to work with! No rainbooms. No life-saving. No super-awesome tricks or totally crazy crashes! Looks like I've finally got something worth reporting!

"...nothing... afraid of... -ash," came an incredibly quiet answer. I had to strain myself just to make out the words.

Stifling a giggle, I began to jot down what I could make out.

Actually, Rainbow Dash was afraid of something? That was ridiculous—nopony was going to believe me.

I'd just have to keep listening, I decided, and find something else to report!

"But you know her! If she doesn't see something coming from a mile away, she totally flips!"

Who the hay were they talking about, anyway?

"...still tell... truth. Twi... to know! It's better...find out herself."

"Ugh," I groaned, rolling my eyes. Maybe there wasn't anything to report here—just stupid, boring grown-up talk. Seriously, how could they not be falling asleep right now?

"I know, but... I just don't know... What if she doesn't feel the same?"

"Just remember... here... no matter what."

That's it! I'm outta here! I picked up my journal and turned around to the hole in the fence. This has officially gotten more boring than math class!

I popped out from under the porch and entered the daytime world. I breathed in a really deep breath and looked at the sky. In a tree to my right, I heard a soft chirping noise.

Baby birds! I hoof-pumped excitedly. That'd be perfect for an article!

I looked up at the nest, high in the tree, then at my less-than-awesome wings.

Now, how do I get up there?

Static

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The only light in the room came from the fireplace, just like always. Twilight hummed contentedly as she dug her way deep under my wing, just like always. I ran a hoof down her mane, tracing her beautiful locks down her neck; they were silky and smooth, just like always.

Three...

Two...

One...

Twilight craned her head up and pecked me on the cheek, just like always; it was soft and sweet, just like always. Tonight, though, her expression was different. Instead of her usual look of love and compassion, she wore a frown on her face. “Dashie?” she whispered gently, her eyes shimmering. “Are you okay?”

I frowned and looked at the fireplace. “I'm fine,” I said. “I'm perfect, actually. Everything's perfect...”

A lavender hoof settled on my cheek and steered my gaze back to its owner. “Then what's wrong?” she asked.

My ears drooped. “I'm sorry, Twi,” I muttered, “ I didn't mean to ruin our night...”

“You haven't ruined anything,” she said with a half-smile, rubbing her hoof deeper into my cheek. “Now tell me what's wrong.”

I sighed. “It's just...” I stumbled for words—there was no real way to say it other than the blunt way. “I'm bored.”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “You're bored?”

“Yeah,” I grumbled, looking down at the floor. “Don't you ever feel like we kinda do the same thing over and over?”

Lavender eyes narrowed. “So what, you're bored with me?”

“No!” I said quickly, tightening my hold on her before she could stomp off. “I just... I feel like we're just going through the motions, y'know? I mean, what did we do last night? And the night before? And the night before that?”

Twilight's jaw fell. “I... you're right...”

I bit my lip. Was this it? I didn't want it to be. I thought we were happy, but maybe we just weren't supposed to be together. Even after all the effort I'd put into getting her to go out with me, two months later, we were boring. Maybe she was going to just give up, and that would be that.

I hoped she didn't.

“I-I don't wanna—“ Suddenly, I was pushed to the ground and my vision was filled my lavender. My lips were sealed by hers and she pinned my forelegs to the floor.

“Wh-what're you doing?” I panted when she broke the kiss.

Standing tall over me, Twilight smirked, her eyes sparkling in the firelight. “Shaking things up a bit...”

Sixty Minutes

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I bit my lip as I finished my thirty-second lap around the waiting room. Groaning, I steered my head back to the spot on the wall that had garnered most of my attention for most of my time here. The clock read nine forty-two.

Fifty-five minutes.

Almost an hour.

It had been almost an hour since they'd taken her into that room—the one with screams of blood-curdling agony ripping through the walls. They wouldn't let me in with her. "Too many unknowns," they'd said. "We've never dealt with this kind of circumstance. We need all the space we can get."

After that, they locked me out here.

Alone.

To wait...

Celestia had said that it would be dangerous—maybe too dangerous. Nopony had ever done it before, but Twilight wanted to, and by Luna, she set her mind to it and Celestia helped her out. Now, I could hear her screams echo down the halls, each one sent shivers down my spine.

Hang in there, Twi. It's gonna be okay...

Fifty-seven minutes...

The screaming stopped. A doctor in a white coat opened the door. "Miss Dash?" he said, peering around the room.

"Over here," I answered.

The doctor motioned me closer. "Now," he said softly, "It's not exactly pretty in there... Try not to cause any undue stress."

I nodded and pushed my way passed him. On the other side of the door lay Twilight, white bed-sheets covering her figure. I stepped inside and walked over to the side of her bed.

"Hey, Twi," I whispered, "How ya doin'?"

Her tired eyes drifted up to meet my own. The amethyst orbs said it all: pain. Lots of it.

And peace... A quiet kind of tranquility drifted around in there too.

In her embrace, a little bundle wailed. Twilight pushed a scrap of blanket off the face of a deep indigo pegasus. The foal cried and cried and cried.

And so did I—

At minute sixty...

Munchies

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Rustle rustle rustle...

Crunch crunch crunch...

Twilight lay shaking in her bed, eyes closed tight, pretending that the ominous noises coming from downstairs weren't there. She'd awoken about an hour ago to the sound of muffled thumps around where she judged the kitchen to be, and had grown steadily more concerned as the sounds persisted through the minutes. The noises were soft and light, but careless and disrespectful—like somepony who didn't want to be heard, but didn't particularly care what they broke, either.

Rustle rustle rustle...

Crunch crunch crunch...

At first, Twilight had thought that Spike had simply gotten hungry in the middle of the night, and had decided to go downstairs for a little snack, but soon remembered that Spike was spending the night at Rarity's after he'd helped her search for sapphires earlier. It couldn't be Owowliscious—her pet was almost certainly still out hunting for is breakfast. The noises were most certainly not of Twilight's making, so that left only one option: A...a... Twilight gulped and pulled the sheets over her head, still very much shaking. A break-in!

Rustle rustle rustle...

Crunch crunch crunch...

Twilight had read about break-ins. Heck, she'd studied Equestrian Law under the very mare who'd written it! She knew the reasons that they happened—poor ponies often needed money or food to simply survive—and that, statistically speaking, one in four houses in Equestria would be burgled per year, but she'd never expected that such a thing would happen to her!

Rustle rustle rustle...

Crunch crunch crunch...

Twilight bit her lip and blinked back a few nervous tears. Stay calm, Twilight! she reassured herself. Just stay calm and let them take what they want! Criminals generally don't turn violent unless they're put into situations where they feel threatened. Just stay where you are, and stay calm! A shadow darted across her room, and she nearly screamed before she realized that it was just coming from the bough of an outside tree in the moonlight.

Rustle rustle rustle...

Crunch crunch crunch...

The noises died down for a moment before the sound of something smashing the floor echoed up the stairs. "Aw, shoot!" came a voice that was definitely not Twilight's.

Thump, thump, thump...

Twilight's heart stopped as she realized that the rustling had died down, only to be replaced by the sounds of hoofsteps coming up the stairs! Suppressing a squeal of sheer terror, Twilight tunneled herself deeper into her bed and wished that her brother were there to help her. Shining Armor would certainly have never allowed somepony to scare his sister and ransack her house!

Thump, thump, thump...

The hoofsteps drew ever closer, and soon, Twilight could hear them just outside her door. They stopped just outside and, for a moment, everything went deathly quiet. Twilight bit her lip and hoped that the intruder would continue on down the hallway and raid her storage room instead.

Then, the door knob clicked.

Slowly, the door opened. A figure stepped inside her room, dragging a long cylinder behind it.

The burglar was a bit short, Twilight realized, and rather small looking, but way too wide to be anything that she could recognize. Certainly, if she had to, she could defend herself against such a criminal, but hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

Twilight covered her mouth with her hooves as the trespasser's eyes fell upon her bed. Gradually, the shadow neared her, breathing heavily.

As it got closer, the figure reached out to her lantern and flicked the flint fire-starter, flooding the room with light, and revealing the one face that Twilight had never expected to see on the pony who'd made her experience such terror.

"Heya, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said cheerfully, a few sandy-colored seeds dropped from her muzzle to the floor. "Your snack-tube was empty, so I thought I'd fill it up for you, but, uh..." She held up Twilight's prized bird-feeder, now smashed beyond repair, and blushed. "By the way," she said, rubbing the back of her neck. "You're outta that awesome seed..."

Twilight grit her teeth and fought the urge to scream out every indignity in the Equestrian language—and several known only to griffons—at Rainbow Dash's infuriating antics. Then she noticed something. Uh, oh...

Dash's wings twitched. "So, uh, you lonely in that bed or what?" she asked, tossing the now-useless bird-feeder to the side and giving Twilight a wink.

Author's Notes:

Prompt was "munchies."

As your can probably tell, this whole thing is a reference to Twilight's Birdfeeder. This was written partly because I love the fic and partly because I wanted something to laugh about. I'm not quite sure that I pulled it off exactly the way that I wanted to, though.

Also: the next mini-fic will NOT focus on TwiDash, like you guys wanted. However, I have no-idea what to write for it, since I get most of these ideas from the TwiDash Prompt Tag thread (fics preceding "Chocolate" exempted.) So go ahead and tell me what you'd like to see in the comments; I've already gotten asked for PinkieMac, Cadence and Shining Armor and the ever-vague "not TwiDash," but if you want, you can give me a single-word prompt, and I'll pick the one with the most thumbs.

Grapefruit

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"Come on, Rainbow!" I begged, motioning towards the table. "Please?"

The pegasus shook her head, whipping her prismatic mane back and forth, and crossed her arms. "Uh-uh!" she protested before wiping away the mucous dribbling out of her nose with the back of her hoof. "Nope! No way!"

I sighed and rubbed my temples. I was at my wit's end; I'd been trying for almost half an hour just to get Rainbow Dash to eat a slice of grapefruit to help with her influenza but, little did I know, she was an incredibly picky eater. Incredibly picky meaning, "none of that stupid, sissy health food stuff," as I'd just found out.

"Please just eat it? It's good for you!"

"That thing?" she scoffed, "Yuck!"

"It's a grapefruit!" I cried, throwing my hooves into the air. "It's delicious and it really helps boost your immune system!"

"That's what you said about spinach!" she moaned, crossing her forelegs and pouting. "And that was gross!"

I rolled my eyes. "Rainbow, please, I just want you to get better!"

Rainbow sniffled and wiped her nose again. "I'm fine," she insisted just before sneezing. "Really, I am!"

I sat down on the floor and sighed. Leaning forward, I could hear every rasp of her breathing, every wheeze, every stiffled cough—the poor girl must've been feeling just awful. "You have a fever and last night you were up all night coughing; that's not 'fine.'" I nuzzled her gently. "So please just eat it—for me?"

Rainbow bit her lip. "But it's gross..." she whimpered.

"It's really not," I insisted. "In fact, I happen to love grapefruit. I eat half of one every morning."

"Really?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I've never seen you—"

"You sleep too late to see me eat breakfast, Rainbow," I countered before she could finish.

Actually, I hated grapefruit, but I couldn't deny its health effects. The truth was, next to straight up cough medicine—which she refused to take on grounds of "not being a wimp—" grapefruit was the next best thing and I was willing to cram it down her throat if it meant her feeling better. I couldn't stand to see her sniffling and coughing, trapped in bed all day.

"Well... okay..." she said, cautiously picking up the slice of the admittedly disgusting fruit and inspecting it. Closing here eyes, she took a nibble out of it and swallowed.

Here eyes brightened instantly. "Wow!" she cried, "This is awesome!" She tossed the whole thing into the air and ate it in one gulp.

I smiled as she nuzzled me. "That was totally the best thing ever!" she said excitedly. "Thanks, Twi!"

"You—you liked it?" I said, surprised. "I-I mean of course you liked it! What's not to like? It's grapefruit!"

"We seriously have to get more of this stuff!" Dash declared, licking the plate her slice of fruit had once resided upon. "Looks like we're gonna be eating grapefruit for breakfast together now, huh?" She beamed as she looked back up at me.

My grin wavered. Grapefruit for breakfast? Knowing Rainbow Dash, she'd want it every single day until she was sick of it—months from now...

Wrapped up in Rainbow's tight embrace, it suddenly occured to me that I'd just dug my own grave.

My nose tingled. "Ah-achoo!"

Uh-oh...

Love Knows No Bounds

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Twilight peeked around the corner of the station and giggled like a school filly as she took in the site of the huge, handsome hunk that stood stoically beyond the fence. Truly, a more magnificent sire could not be had. He was tall, dark and handsome. So efficient—so orderly—only going where we was supposed to go and doing what he was supposed to do...

She'd never stood a chance, really. With big, powerful extremities and that huge, puffing stack, it was only a matter of time before she would have fallen for him—and boy had she fallen for him! Just the sight of those wheels alone was enough to give her goosebumps.

Of course, she had to keep her feelings a secret from everypony else, lest they lable her mad. Who else but a madmare, they would argue, would fall in love with a train?

She'd tell them who: Twilight Sparkle, that's who! And nopony had better have a problem with that!

But tonight was the night everything changed! Tonight, she would tell him how she felt and reward him for his years of selfless service to Equestria. Tonight, she would love her train like nopony ever could!

Checking to ensure the coast was clear, Twilight teleported beyond the fence and made her way closer to the luscious locomotive. "Hey there, big boy," she whispered, rubbing a hoof along his wide, black plow. "I know I haven't really introduced myself, but I just wanted to know if you were doing anything tonight..." Putting in the extra effort to seduce her long-time crush, Twilight coyly batted her eyelashes.

"I bet you must get really tired hauling around all those big, heavy carts," she rambled, strolling a hoof up the his large steam chest. He was so warm and hard... Twilight fought to maintain a proper facial temperature as her thoughts drifted to more provocative images. "Maybe I could... help you relive some of that stress?"

The whistle chirped.

Giggling as her face heated up against her will, Twilight slid her hooves down the bulky bullgine's main rod. "You like that?" she teased.

The whistle chirped once more.

With a grin, Twilight teleported to the top of her lover and laid upon his roof, taking in the gentile heat from his body. "You're so nice," she continued. "And organized and caring... You bring ponies all over Equestria and you never complain."

She rubbed a hoof against his wide smokestack and giggled when his whistle blew. "You're so sensitive..." Feeling all the more adventurous and encouraged by this new information, Twilight used a hoof to trace the rim of his hole and was rewarded with yet another whistle-blow.

Smoke was beginning to build, and Twilight could feel the heat coming from every direction—things were clearly getting serious. With a happy grin, Twilight licked the neck of the smokestack and took in it's warm, sooty, metallic taste before plunging a foreleg deep into his body.

Warmth immediately engulfed her hoof and the smoke grew thicker. "Oh, yeah, baby!" Twilight cried ecstatically, working her appendage back and forth. "You deserve every bit of this you gorgeous engine you!"

The whistle blew once more and bells began to buzz; Twilight knew without a doubt that her lover was close to firing. "I love you!" she cried as the sounds grew louder and the smoke grew thicker. "I love you so, so much!"

Hot, thick clouds of smoke were billowing out of the engine now. The whistles were near constant. Bells and whistles and charges and clamps and circuits were firing. Twilight cried as a loud bang sounded near the back. "Do you like that?" she asked with a grin. "I want you to know just how happy you make me every time I ride aboard you, you selfless, thoughtful, stolid beauty!"

"Uh, ma'am?"

Twilight's heart froze. With wide eyes, she turned her head to face the engineer's compartment, where a young stallion was standing, quite flushed, with his handkerchief in hoof.

"What are you doing?"

Sleep

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I love sleeping.

Well, that's kind of obvious—I mean, I sleep all the time—but I don't think anyone really gets it, you know? That feeling of drifting around in nowhere, that warm, cozy feeling you get when the cloud you're on is just right or when your blankets are wrapped around perfectly... yeah, that's the stuff.

I've always loved sleeping. My parents used to be concerned about my health because I was the sleepiest filly born in Cloudsdale in the last hundred years, but every neurologist they went to assured them I was perfectly fine—I just liked to sleep, is all. Of course, once they found that out, I wasn't allowed to sleep in school anymore...

That sucked.

I snuggled deeper into the warm embrace surrounding me. Yeah, I really loved sleeping. Actually, I was starting to like sleeping even more lately, it seemed. But really, who wouldn't in my position?

A gust of hot air wooshed into my ear and I opened my eyes to see a set of gorgeous amethyst irises only a few inches away. I smiled lazily as their owner giggled and whispered, "Good morning, sleepy-head."

I had no plans to get up and I was too tired to respond with anything beyond a groan, so shut my eyes again and didn't move a muscle more. Today was Saturday and I didn't have to go to work—that meant warm coziness all day if I wanted it, darn it!

Twilight snickered again and pulled me closer, resting her chin on my forehead. She stroked my mane with a tender hoof as I drifted back into a comfortable doze. "And good night..."

Yeah, I love sleeping...

Arson, Murder and Lifesaving

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The door opened with a long creak that set the hairs on the back of my neck on end. I gagged as the smell of wood shavings and raw sewage flooded my nostrils. Biting my lip, I looked behind me at the dimly lit corridor and watched breathlessly for a long moment while my heart pounded furiously. When nothing emerged from the darkness, I wiped the sweat off my forehead and peeked inside the door.

I could hear soft sobs and shuffling within the room ahead; my nostrils flared each time the cries sounded. Heavy hoofsteps echoed just passed the door, no doubt belonging to the giant wall of fur that blocked the rest of the room from view. In the faint torchlight, I could make out the shadow of antlers nearly as large as me, each spike sharpened to a deadly point.

I gulped and crept closer through the threshold, closing the door as softly as I could. When the door clicked, the figure's ear twitched, but he didn't move. Releasing the breath I didn't know I was holding, I peered passed the mountain of a being and into the cells beyond. Despite the darkness, I could make out the shivering bodies of several ponies trapped inside. It took every ounce of self control I had to stop myself from rushing over and pulling the door open—there was still work to do.

Turning to face the guard, I took a shaky breath and sneaked closer, until I could make out every ungodly stain on the backside of his coat. After steeling myself as much as I could, I flared my wings and leaped onto his back, wrapped my forelegs around his neck and squeezed as hard as I could on the sides. The guard's muscles tensed instantly. Back when I was in training, Shining Armor once told me that a proper blood choke could knock a stallion out in just a few seconds—this, however, was a full-grown warrior moose who roared and bucked as hard as he could the second I managed to secure my grip.

The crazed beast kicked and bayed, shaking and wriggling as best he could to free himself from my grasp, but it was to no avail—I still held on tight. The moose's motions soon grew more sporadic but much more frantic, and he seemed to understand just how dire his situation was. I gasped in surprise as he reared back and we crashed into a wall. A flash of pain rocked through my skull and I felt my hoof slip from my bicep.

Shoot!

I made a desperate grab for my knife, but it wasn't going to happen. The moose swung his weight over and sent me careening across the room. There was a crash and the next thing I knew, I was surrounded by splintered wood and my fetlock was screaming in agony. I shook my head and tried to regain my bearings, but then I heard something that made my blood freeze in my veins.

A snort.

Oh, crap...

Forgetting about the remains of whatever I'd destroyed and my poor leg, I quickly rolled to the side, barely moving in time to avoid thundering hooves. A moment later, a fierce cracking sound filled the room, followed by a wounded howl. I looked up, breathing heavily, and tried to find the guard; it wasn't hard, the dust and rubble from his crash into the wall was billowing around him. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw no movement and turned to face the cell, where the captives now stood watching intently with fresh looks of hope on their faces.

“Hey, gu—“

Emerald eyes widened in horror. “Behind you!”

“Huh? Whoa!” A huge set of hooves wrapped themselves around me and tightened. I saw red. I felt like a snake was squeezing the life out of me. My eyes stung as I felt the pressure increase. Something snapped in my chest and I howled so loudly my ears hurt. The pain only grew as the time went on and I began to grow desperate—I could barely breath through the combination of the guard's squeezing and the pain that ripped through my lungs every time I took in air. I thrashed about as wildly as I could and my face met something soft; I immediately opened my mouth and clamped my teeth on it. A deafening scream flooded the room and I fell to the ground.

My chest ached horribly and I was almost certain that ribs were not supposed to bend that way. I tried to sit up, but the world turned dark and white-hot pain took the place of everything. I groaned as I lay on the ground, nearly helpless, and waited for the inevitable.

The moose rose to his hooves, one of his forelegs shining with crimson blood. Twin thuds sounded as a heavy hoof dropped to each side of my head. He towered over me, glaring at me with rage filled eyes. His nostrils flared as he snorted, spraying slimy snot all over my face. I couldn't even raise a hoof to wipe it off without my chest screaming at me. I looked up at the guard and I knew this was it—three weeks of tracking just to fail at the very end. A choked moan escaped my lips as I thought about my friends.

I failed them.

I failed her.

Braying, the moose lowered his head and showed me his deadly antlers—no! Antler! The other must've broken off during his crash! Maybe I hadn't failed after all! But I'd have to be quick; I'd only have one shot at escaping.

The moose reared back, preparing for the final blow. Just as he started his charge, I rolled to the side and stopped only when I heard the sound of that stupid, overgrown deer's head hitting the floor. I cursed as I came to a stop, holding my rib with a hoof. “Ow! Ow! Ow!” I half cried, half laughed.

Great! I thought, I'm going crazy!

A glint of steel alerted me to the fact that my knife was still firmly in its sheath, thank Celestia. I tried to grab it, but before I could, I watched the moose stand back up and shake his head violently. He snorted angrily as his other antler, hanging down by his head now, finally snapped and fell to the floor. His eyes found mine and locked into place with fiery indignation.

“Crap.”

Releasing a roar, the guard charged once more, barreling straight for me. I didn't have the time or strength to dodge again, so I made a desperate grab for my knife, ignoring the crinkling sound my ribs made, and pulled on the handle. The buckle popped and flew off the case. With hardy a second to spare, I managed to angle the knife at my attacker just before he plowed into me full force.

Somepony screamed. Maybe it was me.

We flew backward at least a dozen feet and landed in a massive pile on the floor. The first thing I noticed when it was over was that my chest hurt like the pits of Tartarus—which was good; if I was in pain, it meant I was alive. My head hurt too, probably because it had been smashed off the wall again. There was a lot of pressure on my abdomen—so much that it hurt just to think about it. I opened my eyes and found myself staring straight into on of the glazed eyes of the moose; my knife stuck out of the other one.

“Ouch...” I groaned weakly, managing a weak smile at the sight. I shifted my body a few inches to the side and managed sucked in a breath before pushing against the guard's eight hundred pound frame. I managed to raise the mass of muscle and sinew just enough to roll out from under it.

Grunting, I looked up at the ponies in the cell. “Heh,” I chuckled softly, wincing as my chest shook. “I did it...”

An orange mare slowly shook her head and matted blond hair waved around in the darkness. “Yeah, Sugarcube,” she said, mirroring my silent laughter. “You sure did...”

I latched a foreleg against my ribs and hoped that it'd be enough pressure to at least let me stand up. It was. I stumbled across the room to the remains of the table and searched the rubble for the guard's keys. After a moment, I found them under what was probably what was leftover from one of the legs. Nodding, I picked them up with my mouth and limped carefully over to the cell door. Every step was agonizing. I felt like my ribs were trying to fight their way out of my body. I grimaced and powered through, though—I was ten feet away from finishing a month's work and I wasn't gonna fail just because I hurt a little bit.

When I reached the bars, I fumbled with the key for a second before I managed to slip one in the lock and turn it. The door slid open with a creak and I sat down and tried to catch my breath. The first pony out stomped her way up to me, growling obscenities under her breath before drawing a lavender hoof across my muzzle.

Stars burst before my eyes as my cheek caught fire. Pain ripped through my chest as I stumbled to the side and I fell to the floor with a yelp. The unicorn hovered over me, glaring like I'd just punched her grandmother. “Rainbow Dash!” she rumbled. “That's for leaving!”

Breathing heavily—and still very much in pain—I tried to respond. “Twilight, I'm sor—“ My face exploded in pain once more.

“That's for not listening to me!”

“But—“ She raised her hoof and brought it down on my cheek without hesitation and I quickly shut up.

“That's for leaving us here for weeks!”

“Twi!” I cried, wincing as her crazed eyes turned hostile again. She frowned, but it didn't look like she was about to hit me.

Not yet, at least.

Then, her head swooped down and in one swift motion her lips landed squarely on mine. I felt my wings instinctively flare out. Twilight held the kiss for a brief moment before nuzzling me and pulling away. She now wore a soft smile on her face, and her eyes showed nothing but kindness.

I opened my mouth to say something, but my jaw just bounced up and down. I must've looked pretty stupid. My heart was racing, but the battle was long over. I gulped. “Wh-what was that for?” I whispered breathlessly.

“That,” she said warmly, “was for coming back.”

Author's Notes:

Don't worry! I'm not dead! I'm just stuck in some kind of writer-limbo where everything I write comes out either horrible, uninspired or horribly uninspired. Hopefully, I'll finish Dreams soon—I've made some real progress on it lately. I think that maybe it's become a psychological anchor and that writing will probably be easier once it's out of the way. I hope so.

Anyway, this chapter was from the Trope Prompt Thread in the TwiDash Group. The idea was to use the linked trope to create a TwiDash vignette. I think I've gotten a little rusty—I'll blame The Last of Us and real life for that—but maybe this isn't as bad as I thought. I don't know; all I know is that I've gotten only 6 hours of sleep for the past three days and I'm going to bed soon.

Thanks for reading!

Armor

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The gentle tick-tock of the clock on the wall was the only sound anywhere near us, but it pervaded the room like an awful stench. I fought the urge to once again look behind myself as I carefully threaded my needle through the silky red fabric. The design—a sassy, look-at-me dress that just exuded confidence—was nearing its final stages of preparation. Soon, I'd be able to put it up for display in the shop—but that wasn't my problem.

A gentle shifting noise reached my ears and I could no longer fight it. I turned my head and took in the sight of my dear friend Rainbow Dash still staring at the floor in discontent. Frowning, I turned back to my work and sighed. As much as it pained me to see her like that, I'd already been informed multiple times that she didn't want to talk about it—whatever “it” was, remained a mystery, however.

As I pushed the needle back through the fabric, I wondered if there were any way I could get the normally brazen and cocky mare to open up to me. It was unusual for her to act like this. It was even more unusual for her to sit as still as she was for almost an hour without even saying anything! It was troubling to say the least.

The silence reigned supreme for an unknown number of minutes afterward. The ticking of the clock filled any gaps in the sheer noiselessness of the boutique. Every so often, I'd steal a glance back at Rainbow, who's eyes were still boring holes into the floor. I'd nearly finished sewing when she finally spoke up.

“Rarity?”

Her voice was so quiet I nearly didn't catch it. If it hadn't been so quiet in the store, I probably wouldn't have. I turned and looked back at her. She hadn't moved a muscle. “Yes, Darling?”

She took a shaky breath, ears drooping as she exhaled. I caught sight of her watery magenta eyes when she looked back up at me and bit her lip. “Am... Am I... pretty?”

My jaw dropped. Did she just... The needle and cloth hit the floor with a soft tink as I rushed to her side and seized control of her head. “Rainbow!” I cried, brushing a lock of orange hair out of her face. “Of course you are! What on earth brought this on?”

Rainbow's eyes closed tightly and she tried to pull away, but I wasn't about to let her go; much as she tried to hide it, Rainbow was rather sensitive. She was like a scared little filly hiding behind plate armor—alone and afraid of the world—and I could tell that a friendly embrace was exactly what she needed. I was proven right by the next, very melancholic, word to leave her mouth: “Nothin'...”

The sadness—the sheer, unadulterated depression that had managed to flow through a single word nearly split my heart in two. I know I have a tendency to over dramatize many things, but this Rainbow Dash was far from the high-flying daredevil prankster who'd I'd just yesterday scolded for slipping bright yellow dye into my shampoo. No, this was a side of Rainbow Dash I'd never seen before, and it made me want to hold her tight and weep alongside her.

“Now, come on,” I said, placing a hoof under her chin and raising her face to meet mine. “We both know that's not true.”

“I don't wanna talk about it...”

I bit my lip and wiped a tear from her cheek. “Rainbow...”

“It's none of your business!” she whined, pulling herself out of my grasp. Wings ruffling defiantly, she half-stomped toward the window and stared out at the world. The light of the midday sun happily reflected off of her bitter frown.

“Rainbow!” I said sternly, “You've just made it my business!” I walked over to the window and sat down beside her. She didn't try to move, so I took the liberty of wrapping my foreleg around her shoulders to make sure it'd stay that way. “How can you expect me to just turn around and walk away after a question like that?”

Her shoulders slumped instantly. “I... I don't...”

I tried to give her a comforting smile, but I couldn't tell if it made any difference. “Then tell me what's wrong.”

“I can't...”

“Whyever not?”

Her eyes screwed themselves shut again as her whole body tensed against my own. “'Cause you'll laugh at me...” she whispered.

A stabbing pain ripped through my heart as I proccessed her words. Was that how she saw me? Some callous, unforgiving mare who would laugh at her good friend's honeset-to-godness problems? By all rights, I should have been upset—but I simply couldn't stay angry at a pony who was already tearing up.

I tightened my grip on her. “I would never. Self-image is no laughing matter, Rainbow Dash.”

“But...” Her eyes fell on me and I shot her a no-nonsense eyebrow. “Fine,” she said, wings ruffling on the floor.

I smiled as she paused to collect herself. After a long moment and several deep breaths, she looked back up from the floor. “Twilight and I were hanging out, y'know? On this old dock at the lake...”

I nodded as her voice started to trail off. “And?”

Rainbow bit her lip. “And we started talking about... stuff,” she said evasively, shifting her eyes to the window. “Like... what kind of ponies we wanted to be with, y'know?” Her ears drooped and she she blinked hard. “She... she said she wanted somepony pretty...”

My back immediately straightened as every muscle in my body contracted. If I didn't have the proper control of a well-diciplined lady, I probably would have wound up screaming out the first thought that ran through my head: what?

Of course, in hindsight, I was surprised I hadn't seen it earlier—the way that Rainbow always seemed to have that awkward, dreamy, far-off look whenever Twilight was around, the way she always talked on and on for days whenever she spent the afternoon at the library or how she'd taken to reading like a starving griffon to a flock of chickens. In fact, it was so obvious that I mentally kicked myself for not being able to see it plain as day!

“Rainbow...” I said, a little unsure of what to do. It had never occurred to me that Rainbow Dash of all ponies would come to me for... for anything, really.

“Nopony ever calls me pretty...” she lamented, her head dropping like an abondoned puppet's. “Sure, they say I'm cool and I'm fast and stuff, but I'm not... th-they don't say...” Her voice cracked and, upon hearing the tragedy in her voice, I believe my own heart did as well.

I squeezed her even tighter in my forelegs. “But you are pretty, Rainbow,” I said firmly. “In fact, I often find myself quite jealous of your looks!”

Rainbow snorted at that. “Yeah, sure...”

“I'm being serious!” I cried, running a hoof down her multicolor mane. “I have to work for hours every day just to make myself look presentable—and even then, I cannot match you!” She raised an eyebrow. “You have something in you, Rainbow, this... this fire that pours itself into every aspect of your being, and it shows! I can see it in your eyes—in your step—in the way you talk or speak your mind, no matter the cost!

“It's a very admirable trait,” I said, smiling as Rainbow's face slowly transformed from an expression of depression, to one of what I hoped was humble pride. “And it's the most beautiful thing about you. Failing that, there's your mane, your wings, your eyes... You're a pretty mare, Rainbow. There's no denying that.”

Rainbow grinned. “You mean it?” she asked, ears perking back up. “You really mean it? You're not just saying that to make me feel better?”

I probably should have been upset that she'd think me so callous as to lie to her while she had an emotional crisis, but I just couldn't bring myself to be upset with her. “Of course not, Rainbow,” I promised. “And I'm sure that Twilight would agree,” I added with a wink.

She started, wings lashing out defensively and her face quickly reddening. “I-I...”

“Besides, I highly doubt that Twilight is a pony that cares much for looks,” I said, placing a hoof on my chin. “That doesn't sound much like her at all. I think she was just listing qualities she would like her ideal special somepony to have—not necessities.”

Shrugging, Rainbow pulled herself out of my embrace and wandered over to the window. The leaves of Golden Oaks rippled in the breeze like water. “Yeah,” she agreed. “But I think everypony cares about looks a little bit.”

“More than we'd like to admit,” I laughed, placing a hoof on her shoulder. “So it's a good thing you have them, right?”

The smile on Rainbow's face grew brighter. “Yeah...” She stood up and walked over to the door. “There's something I have to do,” she said, opening it. “Bye, Rarity!” She hesitated and, for a moment, I caught another glimpse of that terrified little filly hiding behind plate steel armor as she bit her lip. “And thanks. What you said... It... It meant a lot to me.”

I waved a hoof at her. “You're quite welcome, Rainbow,” I said with a smile. “Just don't let it go to your pretty little head!”

The response I got was a raspberry as Rainbow trotted out of the boutique and towards the library—and, once again, that scared little filly disappeared behind the armor. But now, I knew she was there.

And, somehow, I also knew that she wouldn't be so terrified for much longer.

Chocolate II

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“Ugh! So stupid!!”

I roared and flipped over my table, scattering dozens of weather plans across the floor. A glass shattered and spilled orange juice all over the documents, but I walked past them in my rampage and slammed a hoof onto the counter top.

“You had it!” I shrieked, “You bucking had it!”

Only I could screw something up this badly. Only I could prance down to Twilight's house on Hearts and Hooves Day and throw a box of chocolates in her face! Only I could make something so stupidly simple as visiting a friend a total catastrophe!

I collapsed onto my haunches and buried my face in my hooves. My cheeks were wet and my eyes were stinging—from the orange juice, I think, because I certainly wasn't crying on top of everything else! “Ugh! How'm I ever gonna explain this?”

Knock, knock, knock.

My ears perked up. Was somepony knocking on my door? Who the heck would—My heart froze.

Oh, no...

“Rainbow Dash?” A melodic voice called across the house. “Are you home?”

Oh, no... Oh-no-oh-no-oh-no-oh-no-oh-no-oh—

“It's me, Twilight!”

Oh, great...

I briefly considered ignoring her, but how could I? Twilight was my best friend! More than that, she was my... my...

I shook my head. She was my best friend—that's it. My best friend, whom I'd just thrown chocolates at.

My best friend who made my heart pound like a hammer every time she so much as smiled at me.

My best friend who never called me stupid, no matter what I did.

My best friend who made even the most boring of lectures kinda fun.

My best friend who always dropped everything to help me.

My best friend who had the sweetest flank this side of Equestria.

“C-come in!” I said, trying to sound calmer than I actually was. Instead, I sounded like I was about to barf.

Perfect start, Dash; great job!

The door opened and a smiling Twilight stepped through, flicking her wings a few times to shake the snow off of them. Tucked under one of them was a large, red, heart-shaped box that only added to my grief.

“Hey, Twi,” I muttered as she shut the door. “What's up?”

She smiled as she walked up to me. “I don't know, Rainbow,” she said with a hint of laughter. “What is—woah!”

I followed her gaze to the kitchen, and the mess I'd left inside it. Orange stained papers littered the floor under the flipped table. I cringed; she must've thought I was a total slob.

Perfect...

“Sorry about the mess...” I mumbled—more to the floor than to Twilight.

She gave me a concerned look. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” I answered. “Just... doin' some Weather Team stuff.”

Twilight's eyebrow raised. “You left the library in quite a fuss this morning, you know,” she said. The heart-shaped box floated into my vision and settled by my forehooves “And you left these behind...”

I sighed and tapped the box. It was still full—she hadn't even opened it! I'd waited in line for three hours at Bon Bon's shop to get those!

A lavender wing wrapped itself around my shoulders and pulled me close to Twilight. She smiled softly. “Can I ask you something, Rainbow?”

My stomach twisted in knots. My heart pounded furiously. I had a pretty good idea what she was going to say, and I didn't want to be around to hear it. I was gonna look like an even bigger, sappier idiot than I did earlier!

No. No, I can't keep running away from this! I swallowed and nodded to her.

The smile never left her face. “Okay,” she said cheerfully. “Were these—“ she shook the box with her magic—“meant for me?”

My ears pinned themselves to the sides of my skull. I wanted to say yes, but my tongue felt like it weighed a ton—I couldn't even open my mouth! My hooves were shaking so much that I thought I was about to have a panic attack.

I nodded.

Twilight chuckled. Her wing tightened around me and I was pulled against her body. “And... Was there maybe something you wanted to say when you gave me them?”

Was it getting hotter? I felt like I could fry an egg on my cheeks. She knew—there was no way she didn't. And I wasn't getting out of this. I closed my eyes and nodded again.

“And what was it you wanted to say?” She chortled and I did a double-take.

Is... Is she teasing me?

Twilight looked at me with a smile so profound, I could see it in her eyes. There were no hidden intentions or falsities hidden in her expression—she really was excited today. It was then that I realized just what her visit meant, and it was then that I felt more courage than I'd felt in months come flooding back into my body.

I took a deep breath and pointlessly tried to dispel the heat in my cheeks by rubbing a hoof on them. “I... well...”

Twilight leaned forward and pressed her forehead into mine, flooding my sight with her gorgeous amethyst eyes. “Yes?”

I was going to say it! After months of running scared from any room she walked into and secretly wishing she'd just tackle me to the ground so I wouldn't have to do it, I was finally going to say it! I looked back into her eyes and smiled right back at her. “Do... Do you maybe wanna... Would you be my special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day?”

If Twilight squeezed me any tighter, I swear I would have melded to her wing. “Just for Hearts and Hooves Day?” she teased.

Whatever heat had managed to dissipate from my cheeks quickly came back with a vengeance. “W-well maybe not just—“ Suddenly, I couldn't speak—and it wasn't because I'd chickened out like all the other times I'd tried. No, Twilight had finally closed what little distance there remained between us while I was talking.

I gasped in surprise as our lips met. Twilight's forehooves darted up and seized control of my head, pulling me closer and ensuring I couldn't get away—not that I wanted to, that is. We stayed like that for a few moments, just enjoying the closeness and each other's warmth. It was probably the best feeling I'd ever had—at least ten times more awesome than I'd imagined it would be!

Eventually, Twilight pulled back and simply held me under her wing. She smiled and gently nuzzled my cheek. “I'd love to, Rainbow.”

Actually, Hearts and Hooves Day is a pretty okay holiday.

The Staring Contest

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“Excuse me?”

Rainbow Dash rolled onto her back and looked at me over her brow; an amused smile played on her lips. “You heard me, Twi,” she chuckled.

I was dumbstruck; the sheer randomness of her declaration—let alone its absolute absurdity—had me mentally reeling. Rainbow was no stranger to over-confident boasting, but surely even she knew that this one was simply too far.

“You could not beat me in a staring contest.”

Cyan lips pulled back and revealed pearly white teeth as Rainbow giggled. “Sure I could.” She sat up and looked me square in the eyes. “I never lose staring contests.”

“Well,” I snorted, turning back to my text on extra-galactic theory, “You would against me. I've trained myself to be able to not blink for hours at a time; the seconds add up after a while.”

A few moments of silence later, I found myself looking back up to see Rainbow's face contorted in silent laughter. Her watering eyes were barely visible behind her cheeks as she doubled over and breathed heavily. Suddenly, whatever control she had shattered and she burst into guffaws. “L-lemme guess!” she said between gulps of air, “So that you can read without blinking?”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course, Rainbow.”

Rainbow's laughter only increased. “That... is so... you!!”

With a sigh, I gave up on my book and marked my page with one of the numerous feathers Rainbow had left on the floor when she molted a few weeks ago—though a bit tacky and worn, they'd proven quite useful as placeholders. “Regardless,” I said, closing the book, “You could never beat me in a staring contest.”

“Oh, yeah?” Dash growled playfully. She hopped off the couch and strutted across the floor to where I was sitting. Her eyes flashed with cheer and... something else. Cunning? “Prove it.”

I gave her a deadpan look. “As much fun as staring at you for hours sounds, Rainbow, I have to re-alphabetize the card system. I've been putting it off for far too long.”

With that, I got off my chair and made for the library desk. I was only halfway across the floor when Rainbow spoke up. “What if it only took a minute?”

I paused. She wasn't going to drop this, was she? Looking back, I could see Rainbow standing by my chair with a hopeful air about her. Her wing twitched.

“C'mon, Twi!” Dash insisted, “What have you got to lose?” She walked closer, grinning wildly. “Besides the contest, I mean.”

A groan forced its way out of my throat. There was no way any staring contest between myself and a pony that could fly at supersonic speeds without eye protection would last less than a minute, and it didn't seem like Rainbow was going to drop the subject anytime soon. I should have just stayed quiet...

“Fine,” I conceded, shaking my head. “Let's just get this over with.”

Rainbow's eyes lit up. She jumped in the air with a squeal of delight and hovered there for a moment, grinning like a maniac. “Sweet!”

“So, when do we—“

“Right now!” Rainbow said exuberantly. She lunged forward and suddenly my vision was filled with her magenta irises. The smile on her cheeks extended into her core, reflecting out of her like a beacon. “Go!”

I sighed and stared back. She was mere inches from my face; I could feel her breath brush my cheeks every time she exhaled. Figures she'd want to be face to face for this, I groaned internally.

Rainbow's eyes narrowed in fierce determination. She was preparing for the long haul, I realized moments before she pressed her forehead into mine. “You are so going down!” she cackled warmly.

“You said this wouldn't take long, Rainbow,” I groaned, pulling away from her so that our faces were no longer touching.

For an instant—a mere half of a second at most—light in her eyes seemed to die a little, but it must have been my imagination, because it came roaring back ten times brighter. “It won't,” she promised, leaning closer.

“Oh?” I leered back, determined not to lose to Rainbow. At the slightest twitch or movement of her eyelids, I was calling this off. I had a ton of work to do and I couldn't afford to waste time on a meaningless game like this.

“Yeah.”

In an instant, my vision filled entirely with magenta. I reeled back as a pressure assaulted my lips. A surprised yelp jumped out of my throat before I realized what was happening.

It was Rainbow.

She was...

My mind went blank. My vision blurred. This didn't make any sense. Why would she... This was only a staring contest!

Maybe she...

No. She wouldn't have... Not just to get a win, but...

Slowly, as the pressure on my lips vanished, my vision returned. Rainbow's eyes were filled with elation and her signature cocksure pride, but there was something else—that same hidden quality that fed through her eyes that gave me the feeling I'd just been had. And I had.

My cheeks grew hot as Rainbow pulled back. My heart was bounding like I'd just ran a hundred miles in five minutes. I tried to say something, but all that came out was monosyllabic nonsense and a bunch of incoherent splutters.

My best friend had just...

She'd...

Smirking like she hadn't just kissed me square on the lips, Rainbow chuckled and said: “You blinked.” She brushed her mane to the side and started for the door. “Told you I'd win, Twi!”

I tried to tell her to stop. My tongue contorted and my jaw flapped, but my demands for her to come back here and explain herself were as silent as the library after closing time. Instead, I watched as Rainbow opened the door and looked back at me with a wild smile.

Her tail swished happily behind her and, for a moment, she just stood there looking at me. Then she said “I'll let you get to re-alphabetizing your catalog then.” She snickered slyly and started out the door. “I'll see you tomorrow Twilight! We can hang out some more—maybe go get dinner together, if you want!”

Slam! The door closed.

I stood stock still in the center of the library, still staring at the door Rainbow had just vanished behind.

I'd lost.

I'd lost to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash had kissed me.

Rainbow Dash had asked me out.

Then, the gears in my brain kicked back on and my blood boiled with indignation. I sat down and huffed angrily.

Rainbow Dash had cheated.

The Leak

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Drip, drip, drip, drip...

Twilight grit her teeth and twisted the wrench as sharply as she could. It spun around the rusty pipe with a sharp squeak. In an instant, the drips seemed to double.

“Ugh!” the unicorn shrieked as a rogue spurt shot from the pipe and hit her square in the eye. “Not again!” Frantically, she twisted the wrench the other way and the deluge subsided, but not before it added to her new in-kitchen swimming pool.

Rainbow Dash covered her mouth with a hoof and stove off a giggle as Twilight dove under the sink with renewed vigor. “Are you sure you know what you're doing, Twilight?”

“Of course I do, Rainbow!” Twilight huffed. Her voice strained for a moment and then a loud clang echoed from the cupboard and the faucet decided that it no longer felt like holding back Ponyville's water supply. Twilight growled. “That shouldn't even be possible!

A smirk grew on Rainbow's ever-cheerful face. She blew a bubble with her gum and popped it without a second thought. “Seriously,” she snickered. “It's just a little leak...” She eyed the faucet, which was dumping out enough water to make a firetruck envious. “Or... it was....”

“Little leaks can cause bigger problems than they let on,” Twilight argued, shifting her position and twisting the wrench around her foreleg. “A leaky faucet wastes water which can be better applied elsewhere in town. The uncontrolled flow could cause oxidization of my pipes or water damage to the substructure of the library.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Twilight,” she deadpanned. “You live in a tree.”

Twilight froze in the middle of her repairs. “The same principle applies.” There was a thunk and Twilight dropped her wrench as another jet of water rocketed out of a pipe. The water coming out of the faucet somehow doubled its flow. The water spurted so hard into the sink that it formed a miniature geyser that added even more water to the floor.

With a frantic shriek, Twilight jumped back out from under the sink as a violet aura walled off the hydro-explosion and kept it contained inside the cupboard. Rainbow couldn't help but giggle as Twilight shook the water from her mane with a groan, but a quick glare silenced her instantly. Though the unicorn’s face was drenched, a few black smudges decorated her face in a way Rainbow thought was absolutely adorable—especially the one that crossed the bridge of her nose, where she'd no-doubt been resting her head on a pipe.

“Not a single word, Rainbow,” Twilight seethed as she picked the wrench back up from the floor. “I did that completely and one-hundred percent intentionally!”

“Sure you did, Egghead,” Dash said soothingly, popping another bubble. “But maybe you should just seal it with magic?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I don't want to,” she answered, studying the interior of the cupboard as it filled with water. “I don't have to. I've studied irrigation systems more than long enough to fix a stupid leak!”

Dash sighed as she watched Twilight fit the wrench back into the cupboard and twist a random fitting. The water gushing from the sink trickled down, but the leaking pipe still flowed like Dash imagined Neighagra Falls did. “Will you at least let me help you?” she pouted. “We're already running late as it is...”

“Rainbow, my home is flooding!” Twilight grunted as she tucked the wrench to the side and placed her head back under the sink. The action forced her to adjust her standing position in relation to Dash, who felt her cheeks warm immediately as her eyes jumped to places she knew they shouldn't go. “I know you went through a lot to set this date up, but don't you think this is a little more important?”

A frown stretched on the pegasus's face. She scraped a hoof on the ground and groaned to herself. “But Twilight! You could at least let me help!”

Under the sink another clang echoed and the torrent of water slowed back down to a drip. “There!” Twilight cried cheerfully. “Finally! Now, I just have to adjust the angle stop...” A pinching sound and a couple of clicks later, the water from the faucet halted completely.

Rainbow's ears perked up. “Done?” she asked excitedly, poking her head under the sink just in time to catch a spurt of unfiltered town water right up her nose. “Aw!” she spat, taking her gum out so that she could scrape her tongue with a hoof. “Nasty!”

“Well, be patient then, Rainbow!” Twilight chastised. “We'll head out when we head out and not before.”

“But what if that's not even tonight?” Dash whined, plopping down in the puddle with a defeated look. “I've already been waiting all week, and Ruby's only serves cider on Friday!”

When Twilight didn't respond, she supposed she'd give her a few more minutes of silence. Maybe, just maybe, the unicorn would have some kind of mental breakthrough and realize that pipes were nowhere near as cool as her supposed date was.

This wasn't even fair, either! She'd finally gotten the courage to ask Twilight out to dinner and the luck that got the mare to say “yes,” but she certainly didn't have either of those now! If she'd been courageous, she would have just dragged Twilight away. If she'd had luck, Scootaloo wouldn't have decided that she wanted a plumbing cutie mark in the first place.

“Ugh! This stupid drip won't go away!” Twilight growled, pulling on the wrench as hard as she could. “I'm not strong enough to rotate the fitting further!” She threw her weight forward with a gasp, but nothing happened. “We might have to go get Applejack, Rainbow.”

“Applejack?” Rainbow huffed indignantly. “What makes you think I can't turn it?”

Twilight raised her brow. “Uh-uh,” she said definitively. “No way. You might be strong enough, Rainbow, but you don't know when to quit—you'd probably burst the pipe if it turns out I'm wrong.”

“What?” Dash cried. “I totally know when enough is—“

“Rainbow,” Twilight deadpanned. “Are you really gonna go there?”

Dash crossed her forelegs on the floor. “Fine!” she pouted. “But couldn't you just use your magic instead?”

The unicorn shook her head. “No, Rainbow,” she answered with a tired sigh. “I won't be able to feel the tension on the wrench—I might break the pipe too. Applejack is our best bet.”

“But Sweet Apple Acres is twenty miles away!” Rainbow's head dropped in frustration. “It'll take forever for AJ to get here!”

“Then we're just going to have to wait, won't we?”

“But what about—“

“We'll do it tomorrow!” Twilight snapped.

Dash chewed her gum haughtily as Twilight glared at the piping. She had an idea that might make both of them happy if she could word it right. “How about a little bet, then?”

Twilight looked at her with surprise. “What?”

Standing up, Rainbow trotted over to Twilight and watched the water drip from the pipe. “If I can't stop that dripping, we'll do things your way: I'll wait for AJ with you and we'll go out tomorrow instead.”

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but Rainbow cut her off.

“But!” she said with a grin, bopping the unicorn on the nose. “If I win, we leave right now.” She paused for a moment, then smiled as another idea came to her. “And,” she added mischievously, “you give me a kiss!”

A skeptical look overcame Twilight's face. “I literally just said I don't want you using that wrench on—“

“—I won't use the wrench!” Dash said, sticking her tongue out. “Besides, I won't need it. So are you in or what?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she said, exasperated. “I'll take that bet, Rainbow. But how—“

“You'll see!” Rainbow said with a smile. She trotted up to the cupboard and stuck her head inside to get a good look at the piping. At the connection point of two sections, a steady stream of water was slipping its way out and curving around the side until it hit the bottom, where it dripped freely to the floor.

No problem!

Smiling, she spat her gum into her hoof and slapped in over the connection point. She rubbed it into the crease for a few moments until the water died down and double-checked to ensure that nothing was breaking free of her seal.

Perfect!

Wasting no time, she pulled herself back out of the cupboard and presented the piping to Twilight with a smug grin. “Ta-da!”

Twilight's jaw dropped. “I... How did...”

Chuckling, Dash swooped in and pecked her on the lips. “I totally woulda done it just for the kiss,” she whispered into Twilight's reddening ear. “But you owe me a date now, so let's go!”

“Fixed... Kiss... You... Pipes... Huh?”

Without waiting for Twilight's flabbergasted short-circuiting to stop—or even slow down—Rainbow dragged her by the hoof to the outside door. “Spike!” she called up the stairs as they passed, “Pipes are fixed! You know where the mop is! Gotta-go-now-bye!”

Before the dragon could protest, she pulled Twilight out the door and into the street. “Ruby's cider, here we come!”

Funkytown

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"Rainbow..."

"Won't you take me to... Funkytown!"

"Rainbow!"

"Won't you take me to... Funkytown!"

Twilight scowled at her textbook and did her best to ignore the cyan pegasus hopping around the room like Pinkie Pie after one-to-many energy drinks. She'd been like this since she got home, ripping the door open and bouncing her way inside with a smooth bobbing of her head--all while singing that infernal one-line song! Twilight didn't know who taught her marefriend the tune, but they were definitely getting a talking to before she was through. Rainbow was making her studies impossible!

Dash bounced around the room, bee-bopping on random hooves and spinning on one leg at seemingly random intervals. "Won't you take me to... Funkytown! Won't you take me to... Funkytown!"

"Ugh..." Twilight turned away from the lobby and readjusted her position on the couch. She did her best to ignore a crashing sound that echoed from behind her, and raised her book up to her nose. Every word was foggy and difficult to read, and she found herself rereading the same sentence over and over again until her ears drooped all the way down to her skull. I just wanted to study tonight... she thought miserably.

"Won't you take me to... Funkytown!"

Teeth grit, Twilight forced herself onward. Rainbow would tire herself out eventually; she always did. She just needed to be patient.

"Won't you take me to... Funkytown!"

As she reread the introductory sentence to Chapter Five for the fifteenth time, Twilight begrudgingly admitted to herself that patience was something she was quickly running out of. But... Wait... The room was quiet now... Is she done?

Twilight lowered her book from her face and shrieked when she was met with a bright cerulean face and shining magenta eyes. Her book flew into the air as Rainbow's grin flew into full force and her tail shook back and forth happily.

"Talk about it! Talk about it! Talk about it! Talk about it! O~oh, yeah!" As she sang she grew closer and closer to Twilight, her eyebrows waggled playfully up and down with every syllable. "Doot-doot-doot doot-doot! Doot doot-doot do-doot!"

"That's it!" Twilight growled. Her horn shone bright purple, and a bright white light filled the room. When the light died down, the singing was gone. And so was Rainbow. A part of her felt guilty, but she shrugged it off. Rainbow would be fine--and out of her mane!--until she finished reading.

With a contented sigh, Twilight laid back down on the couch and fetched her book with her magic. It lay open on the cushion before her, and she smiled as her eyes found the start of the chapter one last time. A contented hum escaped her lips as her eyes followed the words. "Hmm-hm-hmm-hm hm, hm hm-hm hm-hmmm..."

* * * * *

Rainbow spun through the air, flipping over and crashing onto the ground with a thunk. She sat, dazed for a while, on the red-brown sand and shook her head. Spots filled her vision, and she tried to remember just what the heck had happened to her. "Dang it, Twi..." she muttered, as visions of Twilight's horn flaring filled her mind.

When her vision cleared, Rainbow saw that she was sitting at the edge of a rock formation in the middle of a desert. The world seemed to be made out of the same reddish-brown sand color that made up the ground. She would have frowned, but a familiar tune filled her ears before she could bring herself to care about it.

There was a city in the distance. It was tall, with bright flashing lights and hundreds of pegasi dancing through the air. Dash smiled as she stood up and started walking towards it, bobbing along with the tune. She passed a sign on her way there, but paid it no mind. She knew where she was.

Welcome to Funkytown, Marizona!

Fear

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It all started with a single drop. Just a little blue drop on the floor under Rainbow's belly. She probably wouldn't have even noticed it if Rarity hadn't pointed it out as she made to leave the library.

"You'll regret that Rainbow," she'd said, viciously rubbing at her mane with a dark stained towel. "Nopony slips dye into my shampoo! And look out for that paint there by your hoof."

She'd been about to call Rarity out on not understanding the intricacies of Nightmare Night pranks when she paused. "Paint?" She and Twilight hadn't painted anything since they'd moved Spike out of their room. Her eyes drifted down to the floor where, sure enough, a little wet dot of blue--almost indistinguishable from the sky-blue color of her coat--lay like it had every right in the world to be there.

"I have to get back to the boutique and was this mess out of my mane," Rarity huffed as she opened the door. She cast Rainbow a fiery look. "I trust now you're finished with me and it's somepony else's turn in the barrel?"

Rainbow tore her eyes from the dot and nodded Rarity's way. "Yeah, yeah," she said, waving her off. "It's cool, I forgive you for yelling."

Rarity spluttered and looked at her, aghast. "F-f-forgive?! Why, I never--"

"Have fun, Rarity!" Dash said offhandedly. She turned her eyes back to the paint dot.

...Dots...

[i/Where did those other two come from?

Her eyes drifted to the ceiling and surveyed the wood for any signs of a leak or wet paint. She found neither. Just wooden planks and tree branches. What the...

"Hey, Twi? Is Spike on a painting kick again?"

When Rainbow didn't get an answer from the stairs, she checked the clock and rolled her eyes. Right. Six thirty is subatomic physics time... She knew better than to interrupt her marefriend in the middle of a study session, so she shrugged decided to clean up the mess and have a talk with Spike when he got home from Apple Bloom's treehouse.

Without sparing a moment, she left for the kitchen to grab a towel. Who knew how long those flecks of paint had been sitting there? If they dried, she was sure Twilight would freak about how it messed up the color of the floor. She'd even probably demand the whole thing be repainted just to alleviate her own stress.

When she reached the kitchen, Dash grabbed a hoof towel out of the sink and, whistling, turned around to make for the lobby again. Then, she saw it. A whole trail of it, to be exact.

"Okay!" she said indignantly, "Just what the heck is goin' on here?!"

It was everywhere! Little blue dots littered the entire floor from where she was standing, all the way to the door that Rarity'd just left through. She hadn't done any painting at all, so it sure as heck wasn't her, and if it wasn't her then who the heck was it?

With a frustrated huff, Dash bent down and set about sopping up the dots with her towel. Or tried to, at least. It seemed that the harder she pressed, the bluer the floor became, and the bluer the floor became, the harder she pressed. Eventually, through grunts and groans, she'd managed to do nothing but work herself up. A bead of sweat rolled off her forehead, and she raised her fetlock to wipe it off, flicking the wetness off her leg. A splattering sound rang through the air to her left as a bunch of little wet drops hit the pots she'd left in the dish strainer the night before. Rainbow's jaw dropped. Those weren't sweat drops. Last time she'd checked, sweat drops were clear, not red--and most certainly not blue or yellow!

A chill ran down her spine as she checked her hoof. There wasn't any coloring on it at all.

"What the heck..." She gave her leg a practice shake, and watched with wide eyes as a glob of blue pulled itself out of her hoof and lobbed itself into the air, landing with a mighty sploosh onto the floor. Rainbow's heart skipped a beat, and her chest suddenly felt about a thousand times colder. Twilight had told her about this once. How ponies--good ponies who never did anything wrong!--would sometimes melt down into puddles without any explanation. It had happened to that Unicorn of the West pony from Twilight's magic book, and now it was happening to her!

Rainbow's breathing quickened sharpened. Her pulse quickened, even as tears filled her eyes, she watched a big drop of orange fall from her mane. They weren't just little drops anymore! At this rate, she'd be a pony puddle in just a few minutes! She didn't want to melt! She wanted to be a pony!

She had to do something! She had to think of someth--

Twilight!

She'd know what to do! Twilight always had the answer! She could fix this! She had to! And, Rainbow begrudgingly admitted as she scrambled for the stairs, screaming for her marefriend, on the off chance that she couldn't stop this, at least she'd get to say goodbye to the pony she cared about most in the world.

Rainbow lept to the stairs and spun around the rail without missing a motion. Walking was getting difficult, she noticed, as her legs began to shake. They were tired now, but she powered on through. She couldn't give up! She couldn't just melt like this! She reached up for the rail but, to her horror, found she couldn't reach it anymore! The stairs looked more like small platforms and reached her knees now!

"Twilight!" she screamed desperately as more blue and magenta tears flowed down her face, joining the drops of what used to be her body on the steps and riding the current of fluids down the stairs. "Twilight! Help!" There were just a few stairs left! If she could make it up them, the run to Twilight's room should only take a few seconds. She noted, as her tail finished dripping off her flank, that a few seconds might be all she had left.

"Twilight!" Rainbow heaved and hollered as she climbed the stairs. Each step was agony--a small mountain that she wasn't sure she'd ever manage to climb. The stairs were up to her mid-chest now, and growing rapidly. There was only one left, but she didn't know if she'd be able to make it.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she flapped her wings for every ounce of strength they were worth. They didn't carry her very high, but the slight boost was enough for her to set her forehooves on the top of the floor and allow her to pull herself up. A sickening squishing, squelching sound ripped through her ears as her right wing dropped a glob of blue and vanished from her side. Any other time, she would have considered the loss of her flight as the worst thing imaginable, but right now, all she wanted to do was get down the hall and find her marefriend.

"Twilight!" She raced down the hall, stumbling and staggering into the walls as her legs worked to keep her going forward. "Twili~ight!" A sob tore its way out of her chest. She couldn't see anymore! The world was black! This was it! She was going to--A sharp pain blasted her nose as she slammed headfirst into a large wooden object.

Twilight's door!

With a monumental effort, she pulled herself back and slammed her forehead against the door again. "Twilight!" she sobbed, "Open the door! I'm dying out here!" She reared on her back hooves with what little strength she had left, and placed her forehooves on the door. She didn't have to have her sight to know she wasn't even close to the knob. Then, the world gave way, and she fell...

* * * * *

"Rainbow? What's wrong? Why are your eyes closed?"

Huh? Her eyes weren't closed! They'd melted out! She was blind! She was--clenchin her eyes shut? She took a deep breath, relaxed her face and, sure enough, there was Twilight standing over her.

"Twilight!" she shrieked, wings flaring as she scrambled over to her and wrapped her forelegs around one of Twilight's fetlocks. "Help! I'm melting just like that unicorn from your book! I'm gonna--"

Wait a minute... Didn't my wing fall off? Rainbow blinked and checked her side. Sure enough, her wing was gone. But I can still feel it...

"You're melting?"

"Yes!" Rainbow screamed. "I'm--I--" Then, she saw it. Off in the corner, right where she bet Twilight knew she'd see it. Standard Illusions for Non-Standard Uses: A Beginner's Guide to Magical Pranking.

"Are you sure? You look fine to me."

Rainbow's jaw dropped. She felt so used. Twilight just... She'd...

"Maybe now you realize just how unfun your Nightmare Night pranks can be," a high-class voice chimed in from behind her. Rainbow rolled over and saw Rarity in the doorway with the smuggest of smug grins she'd ever seen.

But she'd been so sure... Twilight had told her! She thought she was going to... to...

"Die!" Rainbow screamed as tears continued to flow down her cheeks. She glared at her friend, and shot a nasty look at Twilight. "I thought I was dying!" She jumped to her hooves and shivered as she watched the illusion fall. It had all felt so real... "That wasn't funny!" Her face was hot. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears. "I came up here to say goodbye, dammit!"

Rarity's smile faded a bit, and she cast Twilight a worried glance.

"Rainbow..." Twilight whispered. She reached out with a hoof. "I'm so sorry... I didn't think... It was only supposed to be a joke..."

"Just a prank, darling..." Rarity echoed softly. "We only wanted to give you a little fright, not..."

"Well you definitely made a job of it!" Rainbow yelled. Her legs were shaking. Her lip quivered. A warm foreleg draped itself over her shoulders.

"We went way to far, Rainbow," Twilight said. She pulled her close and held her tight. Rainbow squeezed her with all her might, burrowing her head into her neck.

"I was so scared, Twilight..." she said through her quivers. "I promise, I won't ever prank anypony ever again. Just don't---"

"Nonsense," Rarity interjected, placing a comforting hoof on Dash's shoulder. "We were in the wrong, darling. A simple pie would have been sufficient, but I wanted to go big, and..."

"We're sorry, Rainbow," Twilight said gently, pulling the pegasus's face out of her shoulder and looking deep into her eyes. "How about we go out for dinner to make it up to you? My treat."

"Mine as well," Rarity chimed in. "Wherever you wish to go, Darling. Money is no object."

Rainbow nodded jerkily and let a final shiver run down her spine. "S-Sure," she said. "I guess it w-was kinda funny..."

Twilight shook her head. "It wasn't. It was mean, and I promise we won't do it again. Okay?"

This time, Rainbow's nod was a bit easier, and she pulled herself back into Twilight's embrace, thankful she could still be in it. If anything, she'd at least learned to appreciate her marefriend for what she was. "Okay," she answered. "But I'm totally getting you back for this..."

Flirting

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"I wish you wouldn't flirt with her."

Twilight's comment came out of nowhere as we walked down the road to town. Her head was hanging lower than usual, and the space between us was quite a bit larger than it had been on the walk to Sweet Apple Acres, even though the chilling autumn wind was blowing through the fields and the sun had all but vanished over the horizon.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I wasn't flirting with anypony..."

"Please!" Twilight blurted, shaking her head. "The winks, the tail shakes, the wing flashing, the wrestling and innuendo..." Her voice wavered and cracked as she spoke, and she stopped walking in favor of staring at a rock on the road. "What do you call that, Rainbow?"

My ears drooped a bit. "Um... being friendly?"

"It's flirting!" Twilight accused. She looked up and glared at me through shining eyes. "It's flirting right in front of me!"

The force of her voice alone caused me to take a step back. Twilight's eyes shone almost red, and I sure as heck didn't want to be to close to her if she blew a gasket. She rarely ever got angry, but I'd learned to keep away from her after our first fight ended with her hoisting me up by my tail with her magic and tossing me out the library door.

"I... It's wasn't--"

"Look, I get that you two were marefriends before we were." Twilight blinked hard. "And that you two will probably always feel something toward each other, but it's us now. Not you and Applejack. And... And it scares me when you do that, okay?"

I felt my heart sink. "Twilight?"

"I mean, I know you probably don't even mean anything by it, but I still can't help feeling like--"

"Twilight." I pressed my hoof to her mouth, and she stopped talking. She looked at me, her ears slicked back and nose releasing hot, fast bursts of air onto my hoof. "AJ and I are just friends, okay?" I promised. "We both agreed it wasn't working out, and we ended it. It's not gonna start up again." I wrapped my other leg around her and held her tight. She burrowed her head into my neck and hugged me back. "Especially not when I've got you, okay?"

Twilight nodded. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just... I was watching you two, and--"

"You don't gotta be sorry, Twi," I said, rubbing her back. Her breathing was still shaky, but it was starting to calm down a bit. "I shoulda known better. I wasn't thinking, and I'm sorry."

The hooves around my back tightened. "I love you..."

I smiled and squeezed her back. "I love you too, Twilight." The wind carried some leaves passed us, and I sighed and closed my eyes. "And that's not about to change."

Changeling

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"What kind of question is that?"

Rainbow's cheeks gained a rosy sheen that was almost invisible in the moonlight. She looked down at the covers and watched her hooves play with a corner of her pillow. "N-nothing. Never mind. I-it was dumb."

"I don't think it was, Rainbow," I said, sitting up. I reached out with my magic and lighting the wick of my bedside candle. "'What if I was a changeling?' That's a pretty serious question. Why would you ask it?"

"I-I don't know!" she said, groaning and covering her eyes with her hooves. "You ask those kinda questions sometimes. 'What if I wasn't a Princess?' 'What if you never met me?' 'What if I'd said no when you'd asked me out?' I just thought..." Rainbow's voice trailed off as she rolled over. Her orange bangs covered her eyes when she plopped her chin back down on her pillow and let out a sigh. "I dunno, okay?" She spoke softly--almost like she'd regretted asking the question in the first place.

I breathed out and leaned back against the headboard. "No, it's fine. I was just wondering why you'd ask something like--"

"Just forget it, okay?" she snapped. My ears flicked back at the harshness of her tone. "It's nothing."

I bit my lip and stayed quiet. Rainbow could get rather defensive when she opened up unless she was approached a certain way. I'd clearly already messed up, so I decided to give her some time to cool off. If that extra time gave me a few moments to think, then all the better.

"Changelings change their forms to match those of somepony's lover so that they can feed on that pony's affection," I said, softly. "They honestly lead a rather sad existence. They are individuals who are unable to be unique in their own right. Their original forms are almost identical, yet they're only other option is to steal the visage of somepony else."

I watched Rainbow carefully as I spoke. She didn't move much, but the occasional flick of her tail betrayed her feigned disinterest in what I was saying. "So," I concluded, rubbing my hoof on her shoulder, "what you're really asking is whether or not I'd still love you for who you are, right?"

When she didn't answer me, I knew I'd struck home. There's no way my little toughie would ever admit a worry that "pathetic," as she'd no-doubt describe it. Still, I couldn't help but smile when her ears turned to face me.

I slid down beside her and wrapped my foreleg around her before draping my wing over her back. It wasn't something I was used to--usually, Rainbow demanded to be the big spoon--but the change wasn't unwelcome. I'd gladly be there to comfort her as the world fell apart if she let me. "And, if that's the case," I whispered, "I want you to know that if you were a changeling, I'd shower you in love every day until you grew fat and lazy." I nuzzled her neck and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "And if you were a griffon, I'd go hunting with you every day until your talons fell off." I brushed her bangs to the side and smiled into her glistening eyes. "And if you were a dragon or a diamond dog, I'd find you a gemstone so large, you wouldn't know what to do with it.

"But you're a pegasus, Rainbow," I whispered. "And I'll fly next to you until the day we both fall out of the sky."

A smile broke out on Rainbow's face as I finished. She sniffled and buried her muzzle into my neck. The cold wetness of tears stained my coat and made me shiver a little, but I pulled her in closer with my hoof and held her tight--but not nearly as tightly as she was gripping me.

"Thank you, Twi."

Dashie Went Down to Canterlot

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Well, Dashie went down to Canterlot; she was lookin' for a rose to buy
She was in a bind
She was falling behind
For her very first date with Twi

When she came upon a flower stand with a rose way in the back
And Dashie jumped on the counter top and said "lady lemme tell ya what—

"Now you've prob'ly ar'dy guessed by my super-awesome tux
I've got a hot date
Can't hardly wait
And I need a rose for luck!

"Lilly, I see your selection here, and I admit it my bits are few
I know it kinda blows
But I need that rose
So I'm gonna take it from you!"

The cashier said "My name's Roseluck!" as she gave an angry glare
when Dash barked "yup"
Scooped the red rose up
And took back to the air!

Dashie you better hit the skies if you're gonna be on time
Your princess is in Ponyville with suitors all in line
Your love life is in jeopardy—it's rattlin' on its tracks
'Cause if you're late, she's dating Applejack!

Rainbow's teeth clamped on the rose as she flew with all her might
She knew if she reached Twi on time everything would be alright
When she heard the guards shouting behind—they sounded really pissed
Then she flapped her wings with all her might and it sounded something like this:

"Stop! Thief!"

"Get back here!"

"You can't outrun the law!"

While the guards were screamin' Dashie yelled "I'll pay you back in june!"
Then colors burst around them all as she sonic rainboomed!

Fire in the sky; Watch Dash fly!

Here and gone in the blink of an eye!

Rainbow of colors all around!

Gotta get to Twi at the edge of town!

Well Rainbow landed softly at the entrance to Twilight's
And a chill of fear poured through her veins as she knocked on that door thrice
When Twilight opened up the door she said "Dash? You're nearly late!"
And then Twi frowned as she looked around and said "Hey, where's your date?"

Red on her cheeks like a cherry bunch!

Got too excited when Twi said "let's lunch!"

Poor pegasus watching from the back!

As Twilight kisses Applejack!

Phone Tag

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You have ONE new voice message. First voice message: 5:45 PM:

*Boom-boom-boom-boom*

“Hey, Oct—Guys! Guys! Hey, guys—turn it down! I’m on the phone!”

“Oh, shi—”

*Boom-boom-boom-boo—*

“Yeah! Sure thing, Scratch!”

*Bzzzzt*

“Listen, Tav—uh, Octavia—I’m at the club. I was just callin’ to let you know that my show’s gonna run late tonight. Don’t wait up for me. So, uh . . . bye.”

End of new messages. Would you like to erase your messages?

Message erased.

You have ONE new voice message. First voice message: 8:28 PM:

“Not even gonna call me back, huh? Real mature, Octavia.”

End of new messages. Would you like to erase your messages?

Message erased.

You have ONE new voice message. First voice message: 9:39 PM:

“You’re seriously gonna keep blowing me off? What, are you practicing already? Can’t wait to grab your precious—”

“Are you on your phone again? Get back out there!”

“Can it, Gramps! I’m busy! The track’s on auto, so just give me a minute!”

“Scratch . . .”

“I said gimmie a minute!”

“Ugh . . .”

“Octavia, this isn’t fair. You can’t just keep ignoring me like this!”

“That’s it! Give me the phone!”

“What? No! I said—hey! Lemme go! You can’t just—”

End of new messages. Would you like to erase your messages?

Message erased.

You have TWO new voice messages. First voice message: 10:14 PM:

“—ounding desperate is all I’m saying.”

“Just shut up, dude! I can handle Tavi, okay? This isn’t—oh, crap! It’s recording already? Did she change the voice greeting?”

“Do you have it memorised or something?”

“Quiet! Uh, Octavia, listen, I’m on my break right now. It’d be really cool if you could give me a call back, y’know, some time tonight . . .”

“Smooth.”

“Shut—”

Message erased.

Second voice message: 10:28 PM
“This is seriously lame, Octavia! I know you have your phone on you!”

“Geez! Cool off, girl!”

“It’s only my fifth! Relax, Spinner!”

“I meant on her!”

Message erased.

You have FIVE new voice messages. First voice message: 10:57 PM:

“Tavi . . . Taaaaavi . . . Taaaaaaviiiiiiii~ Hee-hee!”

“Aw, crap! She’s on her phone again! Grab it!”

“Vinyl, come on, I think you’ve had a little too much to—”

“Back off! I’m talkin’ to Tavi!”

*Crack!*

“Ow!”

“Dude, she got you good!”

“Tavi, come on! You goddah call meh back ogay?

“Somebody grab the frozen peas out of the freezer!”

“Is it bad?”

“I needa taaaalk, Tavi. I ne-hic-ed you. So, you call me back righ’ ‘way, ogay? Ogay. Bye-bye.”

End of first message. Would you like to erase this message?

Message erased.

Second voice message: 11:01 PM:

“Should it be swelling that much?”

“How should I know?”

“Tavi! I’m sorry, ogay? Call me back! I-I can’ lose you!”

“A-am I gonna go blind? Oh, crap! I can’t see!”

“Shut up, you big baby! In my day, you weren’t a real stallion until you got in a bar fight!”

Message erased.

Third voice message: 11:07 PM:

“I didn’ mean it! Pleash, Tavi, I didn’ mean it! I really am proud o-of you! I just said all tha’ crap ‘caush I—

“Crap!”

“Grab it!”

*Thunk!*

“Hey!”

“Friends don’t let friends make drunken confessions, Vinyl.”

“No’ tonigh’! I needa—”

End of third message. Would you like to erase this message?

Message erased.

Fourth voice message: 11:10 PM:

“—bucking see that?”

“Like a tiger!”

“Tavi, I don’ wan’ you ta go do Can’erlot! We kin’ make a big band here in Ponyville! A-an you kin’ be the fish chair fellow in thish one! I know isser big dreem, but I-hic!-I don’t want you to leave-hic! me! Call me back! I-I-I love you!!”

“Somepony grab her!”

“Are you kidding? And wind up like Bruiser?”

“I love you . . .”

“Oh, crap. I knew she had too much.”

“I love you! HIC! I have for yearsh! You’re gorgeous, and funny, and I love th’ way you play your . . . your big thing! Your big fiddle thing!”

“Oh, Celestia. She’s lost it.”

“I could watch you fiddle with your thing all day! Tha’ big shmile on your face as you jerk i’ back’n forth . . .”

“Is nopony gonna stop this train wreck?”

“I can’ keep it a secret anymore, Tavi! You make me wanna be a bedder pony, an’ a bedder deejay! I need you like apples need rain! Like music needs ears!”

“No? Some friends you all are.”

“You’re free to try it yourself.”

“Like dogs gotta sniff butts! I gotta have you around, Tavi, so don’ gooooo. Please!”

*Clack!*

*THUMP!*

“Please . . . please . . . please . . .”

“Aw, crap. Somepony grab her some tissues. And turn that dang thing off!”

End of fourth message. Would you like to erase this message?

. . .

. . .
Would you like to erase this message? Press ONE to erase this message. Press TWO to save this message. To skip this message and return to it later, press THREE. To exit this menu, press the POUND sign.

Message saved.

Fifth voice message: 11:21 PM:

“Hey, calm down, okay? I’m sure everything’ll be fine, Vine.”

“Is she still goin’ at it?”

“Shut up! Just get back on the stage!”

“Why didn’t you cut her off?”

“Have you ever tried to say no to those eyes?”

“Yeah, and look at them now! Some wise old stallion you are! You might as well send her home, for all the good she’s gonna do tonight!”

“Right back to the mare that started all this?”

“Well, she’s not gonna get any better here! She can’t even get her to call ba—how long has that been on?”

“. . .Tavi . . .”

“Don’t just stand there, you idiot! Turn it—”

End of message. Would you like to erase this message?

Message skipped.

You have ONE new voice message, and ONE old voice message. First voice message: 12:54 AM:

“. . .Tavi? I, uh, I might have gotten a little carried away with the drinks earlier. I, um . . . I wasn’t acting like myself. I guess that’s nothing new lately, huh? Look, I . . . I might have said some things that I . . .”

“Go on. You got this, filly.”

“Tavi, I-I . . . Please just call me back, okay?”

End of message. Would you like to erase this message?

Message erased.

You have ONE old voice message. First voice message: 11:10 PM:

“I didn’—”

Goodbye!

You have TWO new voice messages, and ONE old voice message. First voice message: 2:13 AM:

“Tavi? Seriously, you’re starting to freak me out. If this is about what I said earlier—just forget it, okay? I was . . . I was super drunk. And . . . and the guys dared me to do that. Um . . . all of it. Right, guys?”

“Huh? OH! Right! Yeah, that was totally us!”

“Guilty as charged! That’s what you get for skipping out on cards night!”

“Yeah, so . . . just call me back, okay? My shift’s almost over, and we can talk about . . . stuff. Like we used to. Well, I guess we used to yell a lot, too, but . . . I—you know what I mean. Come on, Octavia. Please?”

End of first message. Would you like to erase this message?

Message skipped.

Second voice message: 3:02 AM:

“Octavia? I’m gonna crash at the old man’s place tonight, okay? Don’t freak out if I’m not there when you get up. Not that you would at this rate anyway...”

*Clink!*

“Ready, Scratch?”

*Sigh*

“Yeah, I guess so.”

End of first message. Would you like to erase this message?

Message erased.

You have ONE old voice message. First voice message: 11:10 PM:

“I didn’—”

Goodbye!

You have ONE new voice message, and ONE old voice message. First voice message: 10:23 AM:

"Hello, Miss Melody. This is Noble Note from the Royal Canterlot Philharmonic. It's come to my attention that you've missed your train this morning. While we were sincerely hoping to have you acclimated to the orchestra and the concert hall prior to your first performance as First Chair Cello, I can fully understand how your excitement may have kept you awake all night. Rest assured that any train ticket you must purchase in order to reach us in time for the concert tonight will be fully reimbursed by the Philharmonic upon your arrival—which we shall expect no later than two o'clock sharp as per Philharmonic bylaws regarding rehearsals before major shows. Ta!"

End of message. Would you like to erase this message?

Message saved.

You have ONE old voice message. First voice message: 11:10 PM:

“I didn’ mean it! Pleash, Tavi, I didn’ mean it! I really—"

Goodbye!

You have ONE new voice message. First voice message: 2:13 PM:

“Vinyl? Come home, love. We have much to discuss.”

Would you like to—Goodbye!

Bedtime Stories

by Incredible Blunderbolt

Feelings

The Deal

Curiosity

Seven Minutes

Chocolate

All Your Fault

Moonlight

Beach

Journalist

Static

Sixty Minutes

Munchies

Grapefruit

Love Knows No Bounds

Sleep

Arson, Murder and Lifesaving

Armor

Chocolate II

The Staring Contest

The Leak

Funkytown

Fear

Flirting

Changeling

Dashie Went Down to Canterlot

Phone Tag