I am Flurry Heart
Looking at space was boring. Very, very boring. Difficult to imagine how magical I found it once. Every other night, I'd teleport on top of the highest palace tower just to stare at the stars. I'd sit there, the cool wind through my mane and think of all the gifts that life would bring me: adventure, romance, love, a life outside my mother's shadow. I'd name every star with a wish, looking at the ones I needed help from the most. Often I'd think what it would be like traveling among them. What an idiot I used to be. In space, there were no stars.
What shall we do with a drunken princess, what shall we do with a drunken princess? My alarm went off. That was the other thing about space—there was no time. There were clocks with numbers and a fake daylight cycle system, but each time I looked out of the windows I saw just night.
Put her on a windmill till she's sober! Put her on a windmill till she's sober!
"Stars, alright already!" I tossed the alarm clock at the wall. It bounced off. The artificers had reinforced it with steel, tired of all the times I'd destroyed the contraption. Thankfully the song stopped.
I stood up and stretched. Another all-nighter. Good job me. Now that there weren't any parents yelling at me, I realized how absurdly stupid it was. Six hours from now I'd be as groggy as a mop on cleaning day. Good thing I was an alicorn.
Grabbing the first vest in sight, I trotted into the corridor. Technically, I could have teleported just as well, but I enjoyed walking. Who'd guess? I'd spent so much time on Equestria avoiding it that Father kept on joking I should just cut off my legs and be done with it. I missed his jokes. If all went well, in a few weeks I might hear them again.
The cafeteria was asleep. It would be another hour before the crew started waking up. I wasn't particularly hungry, but this was a good opportunity to have a snack in peace. Sneaking into the kitchen area, I glanced at the shelves. Five types of hay, a few buckets of cherries, and twenty-one types of apples fresh from the ship's orchard.
"Dammit!" I grumbled. I had specifically told the gardeners to focus more on the non-Apple products. So much about actually listening. I had myself to blame, of course. If I hadn't listened to Auntie Twilight, there would be far more variety on board. Instead, half the orchard was apple produce. Then again, half the crew were Apples as well.
"Eating before breakfast, are you?" a stern voice asked behind me.
"Wha?" I turned around, feeling full of guilt. "No, I—" I stopped. The smug expression of Sunburst was staring me in the face. Of course he would be the one to pull such a prank on me. And since he was my crystaller, I had it hardwired in my brain that I had to give an explanation to him. Mentors, what could I say?
"Well, go on." He waved a hoof. "Better eating before breakfast than after."
"Ha ha." I tried to suppress my laughter. This was one thing I wouldn't give him satisfaction of. "What did I mess up this time?"
"This time? Let me think. Is that before or after you increased the ship's spin?"
"Argh!" I grabbed a pack of apple slices and trotted past him. It would be apples again. Apples and a lecture. Just what I needed.
"Your sun has been unstable." He followed closely behind. "Is there something I should know?"
"Huh?" Leave it to Sunburst to be calm in the face of disaster. Having my sun "act up" was the equivalent of having Celestia's crash down smack in the center of Canterlot. The only difference here was that if my sun crashed down, it would breach the ship's hull and throw everypony into space, where they'd suffer a quick and painful death.
"It changed colour a few times." My mentor went on, helping himself to a slice of my apple. "A few of the farmers commented it might be 'that time of month’."
"Stars." I facewinged. Of all the times. They'd never let me forget this. Not in five generations.
"Jokes aside, did something happen last night?" He sat at one of the cafeteria tables and invited me to join him. I hated how perceptive he could be. Under that geeky, goofy appearance, there was a brilliant mind that watched my every move.
"It's nothing." I sat a few seats away.
"Flurry..."
"It's nothing! I just had a dream." I looked at my apple slices. My appetite had vanished. "Just a dream with Luna. We talked."
"I see." He sighed. For almost a minute we sat there in silence, looking at each other. We both had strong opinions on Equestria, and to our mutual regret, our views didn't match. "Twilight has been asking for you. She's still sad about what happened. Maybe you could—"
"No!" I cut him off. No way I'm facing Auntie. Not for a few decades, at least.
"She just wants to talk to you. Is that so hard?"
"Oh, come on! I've seen how you worship her! It's a miracle your wife hasn't divorced!" I was being mean and I knew it, but that was the only way to get him to back off. "I know exactly what she'll ask of me and I'm not interested! I fought my way here, literally, and I'm not turning back! And neither you nor Auntie could change my mind!"
My body was trembling with rage and fear. This was the second time I had gotten into a confrontation with my mentor, and twice as painful. The last time was when I had told him my decision to enter the Academy of Junior Deities. Memories of the scene flooded in my mind. My very first fight. I had lost my mother as a result; I had been a hair's length from losing Sunburst as well.
"You silly little filly." My mentor smiled. "Mulish as ever. None of us want to change your mind, just heal your wounds."
"Well, it's too late for that also." I looked at the floor. A few more days and it would all be over. Just a few more days.
"So what did you talk about?" Starburst levitated another apple piece towards him.
"What?" I stared at him.
"You said you and Princess Luna had a talk. What about?"
"I said no such thing!" I pulled what was left of my apple slices towards me. It was more of an instinct than a rational decision. My appetite was still gone.
"But she visited you, didn't she?" He pressed on, more persistent than a stomach ache. "So what did you talk about?"
There was no going around it. I could refuse to answer, I could even order him to drop the topic, but that wasn't a solution. If anything, it would only open a rift between us at a time I couldn't afford to burn more bridges.
"We talked," I whispered, my voice lost in the empty room. "We talked about my cutie mark."
Another day, another fight with my mother. Ironic since the fight was about not fighting. I had no idea what had gotten into her, but lately she'd been overprotective to the extreme. Twice she'd tried to have me wear a disenchantment ring when I went out of the castle. I told her she could shove, though in different words. Mom had had me grounded for a week.
A flock of birds passed by, heading towards the sunset. I turned around on the cloud to get a better look. Even they had more freedom than me, not to mention a role and purpose. Meanwhile, I was left wondering what to do with my life.
"You can't wait for the stars to come out, can you?" a familiar voice asked. I turned to my left. Princess Luna was sitting on a cloud looking at me with her typical amused expression. "What happened this time? Cadance caught you kissing colts again?"
"I wish." I cracked a smile. Luna was my favorite pony. Well, Auntie Twilight was, but she was always too busy with some experiment or another to come and visit. I suspected mom had something to do with that as well.
"Which part? Kissing colts or being caught?" Luna asked, glancing at the horizon.
"Right now both," I sighed. Actually, it was neither. After the verbal fight I'd had, romance was the last thing on my mind. It was there alright, but with everything else, it hardly made the top ten. "Luna, have you ever felt like you have no purpose?"
"Oh, going through that phase again?" Luna's horn flared up. "Just give me a moment. If I don't get the timing right, Tia will be pissed."
The thought made me chuckle. For one thing, I couldn't imagine Celestia upset. At most she'd drench others with sarcasm, then fly off shaking her head.
The sun disappeared behind the horizon. The moon appeared immediately after, bringing the stars with it. I knew that the stars were always there, of course, but there was something magical in the notion that Luna put them there.
"I wish I was a star." I sat up on the cloud. "At least then I wouldn't have to get crap from my parents all the time." The northern star sparkled right above me—the first star I had made a wish on. May Thunderwing go on a date with me. Of course back then I was a scrawny teenager with wings the size of bedsheets. And Thunder hadn't turned out to be that great. "Luna, will I ever get a cutie mark?"
"Do you know how many times I've heard that question?" Luna laughed. "Literally millions. Frankly, it would be easier to tell you how many foals haven't asked. A cutie mark appears when the time's right."
"Luna, I'm twenty," I said. "I know I'm an alicorn, but Starswirl in a corset how much do I have to wait? Mom refuses to talk to me about it. Dad keeps treating me like I'm five, and Auntie..." I kicked the cloud beneath me, breaking a piece off. "She and Sunburst have gone through every book there is and are still stumped."
"I can tell you if you really want—"
"But that's only part of the issue. It's like I feel I don't belong here. I mean, what am I supposed to do? What am I princess of? Angst? Hay, my mother would have a fit if she knew I'd left my room, let alone—" I stopped. What had Luna just said? She'd tell me about my cutie mark? Both wings and ears shot up as I realized the significance of what had been offered. "You can?"
"I could." Luna rubbed her chin with her hoof. "Didn't your mother have the talk with you?"
"The birds and the bees?" I arched a brow.
"That answers my question."
Luna clopped her hooves. A new layer of clouds appeared beneath us, thrusting us up. My first instinct was to jump off. Riding something faster than myself never felt natural. That's why I never liked riding on Rainbow Dash's back as a child. It took me a lot of effort to remain still, sinking my hooves into the mushy surface instead.
The clouds kept rising for minutes. My sense of gravity and direction went totally off-whack. Every few seconds I'd try to form a question, only to strangle it the moment it touched my lips. There was a term describing what I was going through: enticing fear—the sensation of exhilaration and appeal that came from being subjected to a sudden threatening experience. According to Auntie, it had to do with brain chemicals, yet I never paid much attention when she entered science-geek mode.
"Here we are," Luna announced as the clouds stopped. I waited for a few moments, just in case, then tucked in my wings. Curious, I leaned over the edge of the cloud and looked down.
"What the?" I gasped. Equestria was no larger than a soup bowl. Never in my life had I imagined that there could be a sight that would render me speechless as I was now. I'd done many wild things in my life, but compared to this, I might as well have stayed locked away in my room.
"Quite a sight, isn't it?" Luna flapped on the cloud beside me. "Would have been even better from the moon, but I preferred to skip that. Too many bad memories," she whispered in my ear. "So, where do I start?"
"Dunno." I couldn't move my eyes off Equestria. From this distance I couldn't see the mountain chain Canterlot was built on, let alone the Crystal Empire. Maybe if I used a farsight spell I'd have a chance?
"Your cutie mark." Luna moved my head up with her wing. "Or the lack of it."
"Wow, just wow." I snapped back to normal mode. Funny how a reminder of my issue was enough to make me forget the wonder I had just experienced. "Please, don't sugarcoat it." I narrowed my eyes.
"Just one thing before that. Do you know what you are?"
The question made me flinch. When I was young I'd ask that a lot. "Mommy, why do I have wings and a horn?" "Mommy, why am I different?" "Mommy, why aren't there other alicorns my age?" Half the time I'd be told to ask my father. For the rest, I'd receive some stupid explanation that would most certainly not satisfy the curiosity of a five year old, and when I pressed the matter further, I'd be offered cake as a distraction. The sad part was that the bribes had always worked.
"I'm an alicorn," I said, with my best Twilight impression. "The first and only case of a natural-born alicorn according to Equestrian records. A fluke of nature, as proven by Auntie's unicorn children."
"Precisely." Luna nodded.
"So? It's not like I'm the only one."
"Oh, but you are." Luna patted me on the back with her wing. "You are the only alicorn born on Equestria. Why do you think Tia so rarely goes to visit? It's not that she doesn't like you or anything. It's just that she feels uncomfortable with you near."
"That's just stupid." Come to think of it, I had my suspicions that Celestia had been avoiding me. I'm practically family, and yet she had seen me a total of eleven times, not counting official visits and such. I'd always chalked it down to her being busy, but then again she’d still have weekly brunch with Auntie. "Mom's an alicorn. So is Auntie Twilight."
"Both ascended. As for me and Tia, we were never born here."
"Say wha?" This was new.
"Have you never wondered how come my sister and I have control of celestial bodies, while Cadance and Twilight don't?"
"Because you're older?" I shrugged. Had anyone else but Luna asked that question, I'd call them an idiot and fly away to mope on a cloud somewhere. Looking at her, however, she was dead serious. She was trying to tell me something, even if she was taking forever to get to the point.
"Not quite." She turned my head up, towards the stars. "Tia and I were also born alicorns, but not on Equestria. We chose this planet and used our powers to make it into our own." She paused. "Well, Tia mostly, but you get the point."
"No," I said, afraid to move my head. "No, I don't get the point."
"You know alicorn is an Equestrian concept," she went on. "Before that, we were known by a far different name—Star Ponies."
You’ve got to be joking! My head moved on its own, staring at her as if she were out of this world. Actually, if what she had just told me was true, she was out of this world! Literally!
"Yes," Luna laughed at my reaction. "I am a star pony. Well, sort of. I botched my final exam and that's why I got a moon instead of a star." There was the slightest hint of bitterness in her words. "Still, things turn out fine in the end. Mostly thanks to your aunt."
"Wait a minute! If you're telling me this, does it—" My mind was blown. My heart hadn’t beaten so fast since I’d gone on my first date. Was Luna implying what I think she was? The question was so obvious, yet I didn't dare ask it out of fear she might say otherwise.
"We earned our cutie marks and used them to bring life to a planet of our choosing. This planet. And if you wish to find your cutie mark and find your true purpose, you'd have to do the same."
The last apple slice remained on the table. I didn't feel like eating it and Sunburst seemed to have had enough. Maybe I should just transmute it into something? Orangapple sounded nice right about now. It had been months since I had one of those. Initially, I had created it as a joke. To my surprise it had caught on, so much so that I rarely had a chance to find any left.
"So, you just had a chat of the good old days?" My mentor adjusted his glasses.
"Mostly." I pushed the apple slice with my hoof, unsure what to transform it into. "She caught me up on events back home. Nothing much, just local gossip. Sweetie Belle is getting married, apparently. RD is finally stepping down as Wonderbolt captain. At her age it's no wonder."
"Fifty is a very respectable age!" Sunburst humphed. "Just look at me!"
I did. He had so many gray hairs in his mane it would take a dozen spells to recolor them all. Still, everything considered, he did look pretty well. Better than his wife, that was for sure. Married life and children had added a few dozen pounds to her flanks.
"No talk of anything else?" He leaned across the table.
"Look, we talked about a lot of things, okay?" For stars' sake! In the next four hours I'd be arriving at the planet of my choice, the planet we'd be calling home for the rest of our lives. I wanted to shout at him for being an idiot. However, I suspected that was his plan all along. "We discussed the landing. She and Celestia gave me a few pointers on how to kickstart the planet."
"So Princess Celestia was there as well?"
"Only for a while. She had to go to bed to be fresh for sunrise." It was funny how distance had improved our relations. I never understood why when I was younger. After the Academy, however, all had been made clear. I didn't blame her. I'd probably react the same way if I'd spent millennia forming a society to have some brat pop out of nowhere and place its own sun in the sky. Hay, I'd be more than upset if somepony did that to me. "I'll be starting a general inspection." I stood up. My mentor could have the apple for all I cared.
"Again? We just finished one last week."
"We might be hours away from landing. I want everything to be perfect!" I glanced at him for a reaction. Sunburst shrugged. In times like these, he really infuriated me. "Fine. I'll start with the orchard."
I trotted out of the cafeteria. So much for spending a long, relaxing day at the bridge. There was nothing preventing me from doing just that, but the conversation had made me tense and I needed more than a few books to distract myself.
The orchard was the perfect place to start—a feat of magic and engineering combining the crown achievements of all three, no four, tribes in one elegant package. In simplest terms, it was the source of air, food and water on the ship, as well as the crew's living quarters. Not mine, though. I preferred to be separate. Not because I disliked my ponies, but it just felt weird sleeping under a cutie mark the size of a small town, burning with enough power to melt solid rock. At present, it was surrounded by an opaque mana shield to create the sensation of night.
"Oh boy," I sighed. I definitely hadn't thought this through. There was still about an hour before everypony started waking up. The pegasi would be first, zipping ‘round to create the necessary weather conditions. The earth ponies would soon follow and start inspecting their crops—in ninety percent of the cases that meant apple trees—and then, finally, the unicorns would bother to show their muzzles and focus on ship system maintenance. A perfect union of labour. Meanwhile, the only thing I had to do was make sure that my sun kept within safe parameters. A vital job, if not particularly taxing.
Maybe I should go to the artificary instead? I wondered. The geeks were always working on some new contraption. If I was very lucky, they might even let me join in. That would be fun. Maybe the ship would finally have the entertainment manaprojector I kept insisting on. To be honest, I mostly wanted it for myself. There wasn't any other pony that was that bored. Unlike me, most of them worked.
"Flurry!" The bulky form of Moondancer emerged from one of the houses. "Why didn't you tell me you were starting an inspection?" She trotted my way.
Of course Sunburst would have told her about that, the traitor. He'd probably teleported a note as soon as I'd left the cafeteria. Once we landed and I got a week's worth of sleep, I was so going to transform him into a hedgehog! For the moment, I just smiled at his wife and waved a wing.
"You do know that it will be a while before we start, right?" Moondancer asked in her jolly fashion.
"It had crossed my mind," I lied. "I just wanted to be sure that everything was okay with my sun."
"Oh, that." The mare waved a hoof. "Don't worry about it. It's all part of life. I must admit I'd never seen Celestia's sun do the same, but she's not as young as you."
"Thanks," I grumbled. Talking about my periods was definitely not how I wanted to start my day.
"Twilight was asking about you." Moondancer moved to an even less enjoyable topic. I knew she was doing it on purpose. There was no way Sunburst hadn't told her my thoughts on the matter. "We spent all night discussing trajectories, angles of entry and all that. Fascinating stuff. I must admit, I never expected that all those theoretical physics courses would be useful one day."
Yes, that was true. Five years ago, none of us imagined space travel was even possible. Look at us now—nine hundred ponies packed in a metal can that sailed its way among the stars at ludicrous speeds made possible thanks to chaos-magic technology. It was the single greatest jump in science since Starswirl the Bearded. Interesting if Sunburst would be remembered in the same way.
"Anyway, she wants to know how you're doing. Your big day approaching and all." Moondancer looked me straight in the eyes. Damn it!
"I know, it's just..." what excuse do I give? I shared more secrets with Moondancer than anypony else. Hay, I went to her for dating advice—a horrible idea in retrospect. "You know how it is. Lots of things to take care of right now. I promise I'll try to make time next time she calls."
"Next time?" Moondancer adjusted her glasses. "She's here right now."
"What?" Crap! I didn't think Auntie would be so crazy! Just because she was an alicorn didn't mean she could stay up all night. She wasn't a star pony, after all.
"Come, at least say hi. She'd love that." Moondancer grabbed my hoof, pulling me along. There was no escape now. I best just get it over with. After all, it was bound that I had this talk sooner or later. After everything Auntie and I had gone through to get here, I owed her a "hello" at least.
"Fascinating!" Twilight said, eyes as wide as apples. "So every star is actually a pony?"
"That's what Luna said." I shrugged. Being dragged to the Equestrian National Library wasn't my idea of fun. When Twilight had said we'd have such an adventure together, I pictured it very differently. "I don't know, though. There are an awful lot of stars. Can you imagine if all of them were ponies?"
"The numbers are impressive—" Auntie levitated a book off the top shelf, covering us both in dust "—but when you consider the vastness of space it's not that much at all. Plus, at this point, we can't be sure that all of the stars are of the same tribe, or even if they are ponies! What about the other races? What about dragons or gryphons or buffalo? What if the Ursa Major was actually born in space and just happened to fall on Equestria? This will mark such an exciting new field of study!"
"Yay," I said in my least cheerful tone as I brushed the dust off my mane. "Not sure what you'd expect to find. This is the first time I'd heard anything of the sort, and I am a royal princess."
"There are many things written that none of us were aware of." Twilight flipped through the pages. "Like the Zebra's spiritual journeys, the exploration of Tartarus, Starswirl's reality prisons." I had to admit she had me there. I was still clueless what exactly those were, but judging by the name it wasn't something I was eager to find out. "How did Luna call the academy again?"
"Academy of Junior Deities." I moved closer. "Did you find something?"
"Academy of Junior..." The pages of the tome turned faster and faster. "Aha! I knew it sounded familiar!" Twilight shouted victoriously, hurting my left ear. "Starswirl mentions it in one of his journals. Up till now I considered it one of his literary works, so I didn't give it much thought. I'm surprised Cadance wasn't aware, though. She's a much greater expert on all things Starswirl."
"I guess she wasn't." I moved away.
I had asked mother about it. Not only had she refused to give me an answer, but she had outright forbid me from looking into the matter. To make matters worse, she had tried to cast a love spell between me and an old flame of mine. It had almost worked too. Being a natural alicorn, however, came with a natural protection against mind control spells. I had seen through the ruse in a week. That was the last time I had gone to my mother for advice.
"Here we are! The Academy of Junior Deities," Twilight started reading. "A place beyond time and space, where alicorns go to discover their density."
"Density?" I found the mistake hilarious.
"Well it might be destiny, or it might actually be density." Auntie looked up. "All stars have a certain density. Maybe natural born alicorns have them too?" She buried her head into the tome. "According to this, you can only reach this through a portal or a dream journey. It is then up to you to 'prove your worth' and 'start a five year cycle of trials to earn your mark'. I guess that also must be taken literally."
"So I just have to find a mythical place, prove myself, and survive five years of trials?" I frowned. "Not vague at all."
"Just like university." Twilight flipped the page.
"Great. What I always dreamed of." Maybe going through with this wasn't such a great idea after all? "Anything about what it's actually like in there?"
"Nope." The book slammed shut, filling the air with a new cloud of dust. "I expect it's pretty harsh, though. Didn't Luna say anything?"
"'Discovery is part of the process'," I grumbled. "In other words, I'm on my own."
"Hmm. Yes, that sounds like Luna." Twilight put the book away. "It doesn't mean I can't ask Princess Celestia. You'll apply, right?" She looked at me with a maniacal glare. So much about putting the wellbeing of a pony before science. I pitied her children. "This will be groundbreaking!"
I nodded my head and didn't give the matter any more thought. What was there either of us could do? Obviously fate had determined I'd remain a blank flank for the rest of my life, which in practical terms meant forever. Not the worst fate, everything considered. I tried to spend a few more hours with Twilight, but she had already buried herself in books—just some 'light reading' before going to Celestia. As a result, I had been dumped onto Moondancer for the rest of my stay in Canterlot.
During the next few days, I got to explore every geek and hobby shop the capital had to offer, as well as a few night clubs. The first part was fun, the second—not that much. Canterlot stallions were far dumber and more complicated than the ones back home. Meanwhile mares were significantly more protective.
By the end of the week, I couldn't wait to get back home to my rousting of boredom and daily shouting contests. I had almost done packing when Twilight teleported without warning into my room.
"Flurry!" she said with the largest grin possible. "I found it! I know how we can reach the Academy of Junior Deities!"
The room was small by my standards, just enough to hold a single pony and the aether communicator. When the ship was built, I wondered why Twilight hadn't put a pair of dragon volunteers aboard. That was back when I had just graduated the Academy. It hadn't even crossed my mind that dragons might not appreciate being cooped up on a small box. Even at its current size, the spaceship remained just that, and dragons were a roaming species. Put them in a small space and they’d either spend all their time sleeping or go insane. Not to mention we'd need to fill half the ship with gems just to keep them fed.
I took a deep breath and sat in front of the device.
"Here goes nothing," I focused my magic onto the small gem at the base. Within seconds, an image appeared in the air—Auntie Twilight, half asleep, resting her head on a mug of coffee. Seeing me, she made an attempt to straighten up. "Hello, Auntie," I said, the feeling of guilt slicing through me like a saw. "You look... well?"
"Pfft!" Twilight smiled, then took a gulp of coffee. "This is nothing. Magic exams start next week. You should see me then."
"Of course." I wasn't sure if she was taking the exams or grading them, but I chose not to ask.
"How are things on your end? I heard you're on your period."
"What? No!" I felt my cheeks burning. "That's not... I..." Stupid, stupid rumors! I covered my face with both hooves. "I just had some weird dreams." Stars, that sounded worse!
"Oh, that's fine then. For a moment I was scared you might not be optimally focused for your landing." She levitated the mug away. "I heard from Moony that the ship is doing pretty well. Not that I thought it wouldn't. I just would have preferred a few more years to make certain that all the systems were in order."
Good one. I knew she didn't mean to guilt trip me, but the result was just that. Worst of all, she was right. There had been a total of seventeen major crises since our departure. Most of which could easily have been avoided if I hadn't forced the departure as I had. I'm sure I must have hurt Auntie a lot. She hadn't come to see me off back then.
"The ship is fine," I assured her. "We'll be landing later today... or tomorrow. I'm still having difficulty calculating time properly. Anywhere between eighteen and thirty two hours from now we'll reach Hippogryphia."
"And then you get to raise your sun." Twilight leaned on her hoof, her eyelids pushing down. "Promise you'll start working on the portal first thing when you get there. Even with the supplies you have, it will be a challenge to establish a colony. You'll need all the help you could get."
"You know I will," I tried to smile. It wasn't easy.
"Aww, just look at you! I can remember when you were barely a few months old, shooting mana beams everywhere." She shook her head. I couldn't tell if that was in a good or a bad way. "Now you've graduated the Academy, earned your cutie mark, have your very own sun... To be honest, there were concerns you might end up with a moon. Glad they were unfounded."
"You know me." If only she knew how close I was to flunking. One more mistake and I would have become a second Luna. That would have allowed me to stay on Equestria, which would have made things even more awkward. "How are things on your end? The twins doing well?"
"Fine, fine. They are starting to have cutie mark anxiety. You wouldn't believe the theories they have on the subject," Twilight laughed. "Youth, eh? Shining and Cadance asked about you." The question I'd been avoiding for half a year. "You're doing alright, I hope?"
"Yep, super." The feeling of guilt increased, rising inside of me like a swamp hydra. "Nothing but the best. Sunburst and Moondancer are keeping an eye on me, so there's nothing to worry about."
"That's great!" Twilight yawned. "I'll be sure to tell them. Although—"
Although? I stood up. "Did something happen? Did something attack the Empire? Is the heart okay?"
"—I think you should call them," Twilight finished her sentence. I felt incredibly stupid. "I know you've had your differences, but they are your parents."
"My parents," I smirked. "Yes, they are my parents. Parents that kept the secret of my nature, parents that did everything possible to prevent me from entering the Academy. Parents that even now want to change my mind and get me to turn back!" The room felt suffocating. It was as if something had used up all the air. "Well, you can tell them to forget it! I'm going to claim my planet and light it with my sun whether they like it or—" I stopped. Millions of miles away, Twilight was laughing.
"Sweet, naive little Flurry Heart, “ she said, shaking her head in an attempt to remain awake. "Why do you think your mother did all those things? Why do you think she didn't try to get in touch with you until now? Of course she wants you to find your own path. Her approach was wrong, but it was only because she was scared you might get hurt or worse. Remember we're ascended alicorns, she and I. We don't know the things you know."
I stared at the image. This was it? This was the thing I had been fearing all my adult life? Actually, what was I fearing exactly? My mother couldn't stop me if she tried. She would never hurt me, not intentionally anyway. The only thing she could do was reason with me.
"Hey, don't be so glum." Twilight winked. "It's not your fault either. Some things you can only know when you have children. The only thing your mother wants is to hear from you once you're safe. Do you think you can manage that?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but before I could, Auntie had dozed off. Despite her claims, staying up late was not her thing. I spent the next few minutes looking at her snore, head slumped over a book on her desk. Then I ended the connection.
"Sleep well, Auntie," I whispered, putting the device in its place. "Thank you for the call."
I could hear the sound of ponies outside. The pegasi were up early today. I'd greet them quickly, then move on to inspect the chaos-engines. If there was anything that could go wrong upon planet entry, it was them.
I was going to make sure everything was in perfect shape for landing. Then, once we were safely on the planet, once I raised the sun for the very first time, I would call home and tell my mother exactly what I had done during the last seven years.