Starlight Glimmer's friends all find out she has became a mother long before any of them met her. But what'll happen when they make the discovery the long-lost filly isn't so 'lost' after all? What'll happens if... she just lives around the corner?
Starlight Glimmer's friends all find out she has become a mother long before any of them met her. But what'll happen when they make the discovery the long-lost filly isn't so 'lost' after all? What'll happens if... she just lives around the corner?
Starlight Glimmer sat alone in the great hall of the Crystal Castle, feeling thoroughly depressed. She gazed sadly at herself in the reflective wall, contemplating her past regrets... and not just the most obvious ones.
It was true that she'd long since made amends with those unsuspecting ponies back in Our Town she'd ruled with a tyrannical hoof when she was still of the opinion that Cutie Marks were something to be reviled, and her performance since agreeing to take on the role of Princess Twilight's apprentice had been nothing short of exemplary. She was well on the path to redemption after her countless previous missteps. In fact, some might argue she'd earned it already.
But there were more secrets about herself that Starlight hadn't even told her mentor yet, or Spike during their numerous cozy chats after dark over a mug of hot chocolate. Some she could just about deal with, like being a terrible swimmer for one, or that she often felt alone even in a crowded room. Others on the other hoof, she'd managed to push to the back of her mind during her zealous quest (now abandoned) for all ponies to achieve parity by dispensing themselves of their unique talents.
Now however, that her thoughts were far less cluttered and she was trying to come to terms with her old life, a few unwelcome old memories were beginning to stir below the surface. Such as the one now, that gave her no end of sleepless nights and wasted hours spent staring dreamily out of the window, wondering what could have been. If only I'd been in a better place back then... maybe we could've been happy... I was so young, so foolish... If I could only relive those moments again... I'd make sure you were raised properly... You wouldn't repeat my mistakes...
Alas, time-travel for the once autocratic unicorn was strictly off the menu, especially after Twilight's dire warning as to the deadly futures that awaited anypony that dared to interfere with history, during her unwitting little jaunt together with Starlight throughout yesteryear. Starswirl the Bearded's old spell was now safely under lock and key, not that Twilight didn't trust her reformed student with utilising it again, but now the Princess had seen the kind of devastating effect such powerful magic could have in the wrong hooves, better to be safe than sorry, no?
Speaking of the alicorn in question, Starlight's reminiscing was abruptly cut short by the sound of raucous laughter heading up the corridor, and into the great chamber came Twilight herself, flanked on each side by one of her five friends... actually six if you count the baby dragon almost missed in the middle of this equine throng. The reason for their levity was known to Starlight, as they'd all just returned from being the lucky beneficiaries of an all-expenses-paid trip to the spa, organised by Princess Celestia as a reward for their recent sterling Cutie Map work.
Starlight, even though she'd contributed nothing to this particular map endeavor, (the unicorn was still waiting for her symbol to appear as part of the summoning process, Twilight having strenuously assured her one day she'd 'Play Her Part' in the future, whatever that meant) had still been invited along to enjoy the rest of the girls during their special day of pampering. The unicorn was unhesitating in her refusal though, as she'd felt another one of her recent mood swings begin to materialise, and she certainly didn't want to spoil the day for anypony else with her dour demeanor.
Noticing her student give the old thousand-mile stare over Equestria upon her return, Twilight's mood abruptly turned from ebullience to one of concern. Starlight had made so much progress both socially and behaviorally since turning her back on her old ways and settling in Ponyville, to the extent she just appeared to be another friendly face in the crowd now.
The fact she actually seemed to be going backwards now by retreating into her shell and declining to tell her new companions what had been plaguing her thoughts of late was a major worry to the alicorn. After all, how was she supposed to help her pupil out if she wouldn't open up? Unsure how responsive she'd be to being approached at this time, Twilight nevertheless attempted to interact with Starlight, hoping that a bit of cordial attention would help lift some of the grey clouds that seemed to be following her friend constantly these days.
"Hey there, Starlight..." Twilight smiled, noticing her student staring out emotionlessly out of the window from their high vantage point. "Great view from up here, isn't it? You can see all over Ponyville, from Mayor Mare's office, to the local elementary. I had no idea how tall this castle was going to be when it first sprung up, or even that it was going to appear at at all. But I have to say, I certainly love living up here, even though I do miss my little library sometimes. I wish you could've seen Golden Oaks... we lost so many irreplaceable books when it burnt down... and the memories... sigh."
Noticing she was beginning to wax lyrical about past events, Twilight immediately went to check herself. Of course, the significance and sentimentality attached to her old home would mean nothing to the relatively new-in-town Starlight, and would almost certainly not be much help in cheering her up, as the unicorn's sudden elongated sigh just showed. Deciding to switch tact, the princess turned to her other friends to help her in this persistent quest to pull the unicorn out of her ongoing funk.
"E-Er, we had a great time at the spa, didn't we girls?" Twilight subtly signaled behind her, indicating she'd appreciate a bit of input. "You should've joined us, it was so relaxing and fun, wasn't it? We had the works in terms of treatment, from hoof to muzzle, and came out feeling like freshly squeezed fillies! It was so nice to take a break from the day-to-day routine of solving friendship problems, am I right?"
"A-Absolutely, darling..." Taking the baton from Twilight, Rarity was the first to try and raise spirits in the room. "Much as I enjoy dealing with fabrics and designing trendsetting fashions for my customers, it is good to get away from it all for a bit. Also, who wouldn't miss the chance of seeing 'big, brave' Rainbow Dash get not one, but two hooficures?"
"Hey, wait a second..." The multi-coloured pegasus turned to chastise the chortling fashionista at this juncture. "I only agreed to that because it was a special offer! While we're on the subject, who was it that practically insisted on having a private sauna, all to herself? Those other ponies who were kept waiting gave us such evil looks when we left. I bet they thought we were abusing our celebrity..."
"Oh dear, I hope not..." Fluttershy put her hoof to her mouth upon hearing this distressing news. "Do you think we should go back and apologise? I don't want bad things to be spread about us around town again. Do you remember what happened with those newspaper stories? I cried so much, I nearly flooded my entire house. I hope Angel doesn't have to build another lifeboat..."
"Tch, a few complainers ain't nothin' to be afraid of." Applejack was as matter-of-fact as usual. "They've hung on for much longer than that before. 'Member when the heating broke down, and I managed to fix it? Least they have more space now, after that extension that was opened up last month."
"Size doesn't always matter you know, girls. Being small can have certain other... advantages." Spike chuckled cryptically to himself, while suddenly making eyes at a certain boutique owner. What the drake meant was: Rarity wasn't as alone in her smoke-filled room as she'd previously thought, for he'd been sitting nearby all this time... admiring her beauty, taking in her body warmth, it had been absolute bliss.
"Oh, definitely!" Pinkie Pie, as usual, immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion regarding Spike's not-so-innocuous remark. "It was so great, seeing all those colts and fillies there! They should run more promotions like Free Foals Day at the spa, because everypony needs a dose of relaxation from time to time! ...Well, maybe Pound Cake and Pumpkin cake are a bit too young, I don't think they do anything for babies there just yet."
That did it. The mere mention of the word 'foal' elicited a surprise response in Starlight, although not the one everypony was hoping for. The purplish unicorn just sat despondently on the floor and wept, small rivulets of moisture cascading through her hooves where she tried, and failed, to stop the flow.
Looking shocked at each other at her sudden outbreak of crying, the rest of those in attendance quickly rushed up to comfort their friend, with Twilight summing up everypony's feelings with two simple words. "What's wrong?!"
Realising that it would kill her inside if she bottled up her secret any longer, Starlight Glimmer decided at that very moment to reveal all. After all, as her teacher had taught her, if you can't rely on your closest friends, who can you trust?
"L-Listen, girls..." She swallowed deeply, while wiping away a few stray tears. "I-I've got something to tell you all..." .....................................................................................................
"You're a mother?" exclaimed Rainbow Dash, on hearing Starlight's sorry story.
"...And Double Diamond is the father?" Spike also found this very difficult to process.
"She was born about nine years ago?" Rarity wasn't used to blurting things out so uncouthly, but under the circumstances...
"...And you have to idea where she is now?" Applejack shook her head in exasperation.
"Oh no, that's terrible..." Fluttershy's ears drooped, until she looked almost as sad as Starlight.
"...Wow, that's amazing! Seeing you now, I didn't think you were that old!" You could always rely on Pinkie to say something wildly inappropriate in a tense situation.
Taking a minute to glare at her party-loving friend, Twilight marched in front of Starlight protectively with a stern look on her face. "Now look here, everypony..." She addressed them in a strict voice. "Our friend here has been through quite the ordeal, and shouting rapid-fire questions at her isn't going to help matters one iota. She was brave enough to confide in us today, so the least we can do in return is give her a bit of time and space to calm her nerves, before we decide what to do next. Are we agreed?"
Judging by the amount of guilty faces present, and the mumbled "We're sorry's" that were spread around the room, the message had apparently gotten through. Smiling at their attempts at atonement, Twilight turned back to her student, who was still shaking like a leaf but watched proceedings through a small gap between her hooves.
"Now, I get that you don't want to relive certain moments of who you used to be..." Twilight said sympathetically, as she put a comforting wing around the distressed mare. "But, you do understand, we can't just ignore what you just told us, don't you? Do you think you're ready to talk about it some more, or do you want a little time to settle yourself before we carry on?"
Starlight took a little while to compose herself, as she gazed at everypony through reddened eyes. "I-I'm ready. I've been holding this back for so long, it just feels such a relief to get it off my chest. I suppose I should tell you the events leading up to my now filly's birth, and her eventual removal from my custody..."
"A girl, was it?" Twilight mentioned, not that it really mattered at this stage. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm interrupting you. Please, if you feel you have the strength, continue."
"Thank you." Starlight nodded, before clearing her throat. "It was soon after I left my small village to seek out pastures new, eager to begin my new mission to wipe out all trace of those dreaded cutie marks, after having my best friend Sunburst wrenched away from me. After a few unsuccessful attempts at stirring things up in other provincials, I finally hit paydirt when I discovered a tiny hamlet far away from civilisation as we know it, and that's where everything began."
"Wow. Go on..." Rainbow Dash spoke through a mouthful of popcorn, which Pinkie had randomly bought in.
"At first, none of the locals took an interest in me or my teachings..." Starlight grimaced, not believing how wrongheaded she was. "But then, I noticed a young stallion following me around town, hiding round corners and generally blushing every time he saw me..."
"Aw, it sounds like he was in love, darling..." Rarity gushed at the slightest notion of romance.
"Actually, from another point of view, it sounds kinda creepy." Pinkie offered her unique perspective on things.
"I think if anypony isn't in a position to comment on stalking others, it's you. Remember Cranky Doodle?" Applejack scolded her friend, while taking away her loud, distracting popcorn. "Sorry, Starlight. Please carry on."
"Well, even if I had no interest in Double Diamond's affections, I must say I was flattered. Nopony had ever demonstrated that kind of care for me before..." Starlight then looked down at the ground in guilt. "But then, I started looking at his crush from another perspective, a more devious one. You see, if I really wanted to integrate myself with the locals so I could espouse my beliefs, it would help if they felt I was part of their little group, and this stallion could be my key to achieving all of that. So, that's when we started..."
"Yes, I think we get the picture..." Twilight had her hooves in a mollified Spike's ears at this point, unsure if he was old enough to hear the saucier details.
"Oh, you poor thing. You must have been so desperate to do such a thing, at such a young age too..." Fluttershy's wing ended up being the second one shrouded around Starlight.
"Hey, don't feel bad for me..." Starlight insisted, looking horrified all of a sudden. "I was a nightmare of a mare in those days. All of my actions were entirely self-centred, and I played with Double Diamond's emotions like a harpsichord. After I'd finally established myself on the scene and ponies were actually starting to listen to my spiel, that's when I noticed the unforeseen consequence to my plan, when I started gaining weight and feeling nauseous during my newly-scheduled town meetings..."
Having never experienced the 'wonders' of pregnancy before, all the other mares winced at each other in alarm at such an unexpected development. Meanwhile, Starlight continued her tale.
"Even if I do say myself, I hid my state of being quite well. I told the others my incessant girth was because I was eating so many of their 'delicious' muffins, and I had a very poor constitution. Of course, at this point I had to end things with Double Diamond, if anypony was going to get suspicious about my new appearance, it had to be him. So I just said I had no room in my life for both him and my movement, and considering the latter's importance, it was obvious which I was going to choose. He totally understood and left me alone, poor thing. Sometimes, I wonder if we could've made a go of it, if I hadn't been such a..."
Twilight shook her head sternly at a ready-to-comment Pinkie Pie, wisely noting that this was most definitely not the right time for one of her patented 'observations'. As fit to burst as she was, the pink pony reluctantly complied.
Oblivious to the tension, Starlight carried on with this tragic chapter in her life. "...I won't go into much detail with what happened during the private birth, but let's just say it wasn't a very pleasant experience. After my foal was born, I only saw her as a major obstacle to my plans, and besides I had absolutely no idea how to take care of her. I didn't even have any interest in naming her. I wasn't totally heartless though, I at least wanted to give her to a good home. And that's where my benefactor came in..."
The other ponies (and dragon) looked at each other in unison at this point, asking as one: "Benefactor?!"
"Oh yes, a lovely mare who I met in a nearby city, during one of my rare forays outside the boundaries of Our Town..." Starlight recounted the meeting wistfully, with a single tear in her eye. "She said she'd just had a miscarriage, and was desperate for something to love to fill the missing gap in her life. She also told me she often goes on long trips abroad with her wealthy husband, so she could put as much distance between myself and this 'burden' as possible. She even offered to pay me for my 'gift', which I resoundingly rejected. At that time, I had no interest in material goods... my entire life was on my message, and it's implementation."
"So... that was it? You just let her take off with your child?!" Applejack rose a disapproving eyebrow at hearing, from her point of view, this irresponsible account of events.
"Hey, hey. I was a different pony, back then..." Starlight protested, trying to fight her corner. "Also, I thought she was going to a good family. This mare seemed polite, well-spoken, obviously with a classy upbringing. Believe me, at that stage in my life, the foal was much better off without me, anyway..."
"Yes Applejack, we shouldn't be so quick to judge anypony until we've trotted a mile in their horseshoes..." Twilight remarked to her friend, who only humphed in response. "Anyway Starlight, what's done is done, and you can't change that. What I want to know now is... what will you do next? Would you like to see your child again, or are you happy to move on, now that you've told us what's been weighing on your mind?"
Starlight pondered this question with a great deal of thought. Well as settled as my filly might be in her new life, I'd still like to see how she's getting on. Plus, I think she deserves to know the truth about her real mother, and I am trying to make restitution for my past indiscretions, so...
"Y-yes, I think I'd like to meet her..." Starlight started hesitantly, before adding a little more forcibly... "Yes, I'm sure I would."
As soon as those words left her mouth, Starlight's friends leapt into action. "Right then, I'll go and make some posters..." Spike announced energetically.
"I'll hang some in my boutique..." Rarity generously offered to help out.
"I'll put them up all over Sugarcube Corner..." Pinkie was eager to make up for being a bit flippant that afternoon.
"...And I'll drop them all over town. I better not be prosecuted for littering this time, though." Rainbow Dash fumed to everypony.
"I'll spread the word among the other Apples nationwide. You never know, one of them might've seen something..." Applejack thought her familial connections might prove useful.
"...And I'll tell my feathered friends, to tell their feathered friends to, you know, keep a look-out..." Fluttershy remembered it was migration season, so her regular bird visitors would be roaming far and wide.
"Hold your horses, everypony..." Twilight, ever the pragmatist, caused all present who were about to flee in earnest to stop in their tracks. "First of all, shouldn't we take things a little slower? Maybe, the filly doesn't want to be found. Also, don't you think it would help if we had a few extra important details? For instance... what the mare looked like who adopted the foal, which city the 'arrangement' was made in, what the youngster looked like when she was born..."
"Oh, yeah..." Suddenly, everypony in that room apart from Twilight and her student felt a little foolish, and went back to consider the matter further and also hear of any useful descriptions Starlight might be able to give them.
"Well, as I said..." Starlight tapped the base of her chin, trying to recall the all-too-brief time she spent with her child. "She was a girl, and she'd be about nine years old by now. Let me think: She was a pink earth pony, the 'transaction' took place in Manehattan, and I'll always remember the way the mare who helped me had her nose in the air, and that strange ring cutie mark on her flan... what?"
Suddenly, all the other ponies (and Spike) had lost their expressions of curiosity, to be replaced by ones of mostly frowns. Starlight couldn't help but be perturbed by this abrupt change in mood.
"H-huh?" Her eyes flitted from one of her aloof friends, to another. "Did I do something wrong? Are you still going to help me?!"
Finally snapping out of her trance, Twilight was quick to reassure her pupil. "No, Starlight. You're fine. You haven't done anything wrong. It's just..."
She glanced back at her companions, who stared back at her, until they realised they were all thinking the same thing.
"We need to get down to Rich Mansion. Now." ......................................................................................................................
It had been a rough morning already for Diamond Tiara. Being chewed out for daring to wash her own plate, put it away in the drawer and saying 'thank you' to the cook was more than her mother Spoiled Rich could bear. "You're not supposed to be polite to the hired help, darling. They're just doing their job, after all."
Now, she could expect an even bigger ear-bashing later on, having unapologetically skipped the fitting of a new dress for the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala to hang out with her new friends, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. She could just hear that foghorn of a voice following her as she galloped away. "Come back, darling! Whatever will Prince Blueblood think?!"
Rolling her eyes en route to the club treehouse, she nevertheless managed to spot Princess Twilight and all her friends, including the weird unicorn newcomer, saunter in the opposite direction. Must be something pretty important for them to all travel together like that... she pondered while speeding past, shame I haven't got enough time to stop. Scootaloo's going to try and make the big jump again, and I want to see how many times she falls off before giving up...
What however, Diamond didn't see was the sad look Twilight gave the pink filly as she rushed by... after all, what reason would the little filly have to be worried? It couldn't be about her, right?
DING DONG! Went the doorbell of Rich Mansion. With Randolph having a much-needed week off through exhaustion (although, with the amount of toil he did every week at his age, it was amazing he hadn't dropped dead by now) it was left up to Filthy Rich to answer his own door for a change, as he got up from calculating his weekly bills (which always seemed to leave him in the red, no surprises when you consider who he was married to).
In a bit of an irritable mood due to his increasingly precarious state of affairs financially, Filthy unlocked it with noticeable brusqueness and almost shouted at his unidentified callers. "Wha..." before he realised who they were.
"P-Princess T-Twilight, a-and c-company!!" He almost kicked himself when he realised his almost-rudeness in the presence of royalty and heroes. "W-What brings you around here?!"
It wasn't Twilight who took the lead of the group however, their spokespony having already been selected based on her thorough knowledge of the family in question.
"Hello, Filthy Rich..." Applejack addressed him in a friendly manner. "We need to talk to you..."
At this point, the farm pony shot a look upstairs, with considerably more disdain.
TICK TOCK went the sound of the ornate clock on the wall of Rich Mansion. You'd think with nine ponies, including the most irrepressible funster to ever dwell in the hamlet they'd be a little more clamour, but the air was staler than the old biscuits that were now being distributed around by an agitated maid, who could only stare in bafflement as a certain baby dragon inquired "Have you got any Gem Crackers, please?"
"That'll be all, Feather Duster..." Filthy Rich had absolutely no idea for the logic behind this impromptu visit from some of Ponyville's most notable residents, but he was quite convinced that it must be of the highest importance. The earnest solemnity running throughout the distinguished party would be palpable to even the most cloth-eared of observers, and princesses don't tend to make random cross-town trips on a dreary afternoon for no good reason.
As soon as the large double-doors to the study were closed by his curtsying servant, Filthy Rich decided that this nonsensical game of 'who among us will talk first' had run for long enough, and that he didn't mind being the loser. "Now then, Princess Twi..."
"Just 'Twilight Sparkle' or plain 'Twilight' is fine thank you, Mr Rich." The unpretentious alicorn was quick to remind their ailing host that such formalities were not necessary.
"E-Er, okay then, T-Twilight." Filthy loosened his tie a little, as the pressure in the room began to get to him. He was missing those astronomically high bills already. "N-Now, you said you had something urgent to discuss with me and my ladywife. Well, we're here now, so if you'd be so kind as to tell us..."
"You didn't by any chance spot my errant miscreant of a daughter pass by on your journey here, did you, Princess?" Spoiled Rich was in typical fine form as usual. "I buy her a nice new dress for the upcoming gala, and she reacts like I'm trying to garnish her in rags! Honestly, I don't know what's got into that child of late. She used to be so compliant, so well-trained, but then she got a bunch of hair-brained ideas about 'friendship' and 'independence' rammed into her fragile mind. I don't suppose, as a member of the royal family, you have the ability to arrest those responsible for this gross subversion of her old personality? Because I can tell you where you can find associates of the main culprits, right here."
Spoiled Rich was of course, referring to Rarity and Applejack when she laid out this spurious claim, as their two little sisters were, from the pompous mare's perspective, a couple of the main instigators behind her now 'out-of-control' daughter's year-long rebellion against her old parenting techniques of coercion and manipulation.
"Now, just a minute you..." "What did you just say?!" Rarity and Applejack respectively were not best pleased at having their siblings objectified for the 'terrible' crime of making Diamond see the error of her ways, and Twilight audibly groaned. The atmosphere was on a knife-edge as it was, she didn't need things to degenerate into an all-out shouting match between the trio, as was previously demonstrated on the rare occasions their paths crossed, usually on market day.
"Look, I didn't come here today to discuss the ongoing feud between you three about your daughter's temperament, Mrs Rich..." Twilight was careful not give too much away when she said the 'd' word there, now she knew the truth. "This is about an even more critical matter. So, can we..."
"What could be more 'critical' than seeking redress for my poor, impressionable filly's gratuitous brainwashing..." Spoiled acted out the role of the tragic heroine with great professionalism, even getting the 'oppressed' pose just right. "The amount of therapy it's going to take to restore my darling to her old self is going to cost an absolute fortune. Filthy, didn't you say earlier that we might have to remove the koi pond from our garden if our spending isn't dramatically decreased? Oh, what price can you put on justice these days, because we have been truly wronged..."
"D-Dear, perhaps it would be best if we listened to Pri- Twilight for a moment..." Filthy Rich was far too timid a stallion to inform his wife of who was by far and away the mistress of superfluity around those parts. "I-I think she has something she wants to..."
"Oh, trust you to take her side, over mine..." Spoiled abruptly turned to rain fire onto her husband, confident she could intimidate him into submission as usual. "That child would have no idea how to act in decent company, if it wasn't for my teachings. I mean, just look at your idea. A day out at 'Barnyard Bargains'? Seeing how the commoners intermingle?! Please! How's that supposed to..."
"Mrs Spoiled Milk Rich! I am not going to ask you again!! We are extremely lucky to have the princess and her friends as guests, and if you can't see what a fool you're making of yourself by carrying on the way you are, then I'm going to tell you to your face! So please, for once in your life, could you give us all a bit of peace and let us hear what they came all the way out here to say. Thank you!!"
Apparently, what they say is true, everypony has a breaking point. A moment where even the most meek and mild of ponies reaches an epiphany that nothing is going to get better unless they put their hoof down and take control of the situation. Fluttershy had one once (although, she took her revelation to somewhat ridiculous extremities) and now Filthy had apparently arrived at his absolute limit.
His distinctly out-of-character rant at his now somewhat subdued wife provoked a variety of reactions from the spectators present. Some, like the aforementioned Fluttershy, went to tremble behind a silken cushion, whereas others like Applejack gave her business partner a firm nod of solidarity in standing up for himself at long last. The only one who didn't seem to care was Spike, who was too busy trying to placate his rumbling tummy while wondering if the Rich's had a secret jewel storage closet he could raid. He'd pay them all back, of course. He must be owed, about what... six years worth of backpay?
"Sorry you had to witness that, Twilight..." Filthy slumped down in his chair, completely drained. The energy expended there in his no-holds barred verbal takedown of his wife had been considerable, and he dreaded to think of what maniacal punishment Spoiled would devise later on for him daring to go off-script with such an unprecedented display of bravado.
"S-So anyway, let's start things off shall we?" Twilight tried to move things on from the little domestic, now with her eyes firmly focused on a seething Spoiled. "Mrs Rich. When you've quite recovered, I'd like to ask you a question..."
"Ask my husband, apparently he speaks for both of us now..." was Spoiled's whispered, chastened response.
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that..." Twilight was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to get home before Luna's moon rose, at the snail's pace everything was unfolding.
"I said, just ask. I'm not entitled to have an opinion, so I may as well contribute to this farce by doing as I'm told... if that's okay with you, dear?" Spoiled shot a telling look at her husband, who fortunately was so weakened by his recent exertions that he wasn't daunted by her tranquil fury for once.
"Okay, well this won't take very long... well,long-er... " Twilight seized on the opportunity to finally finish one blessed sentence. "All I really want to know is, Mrs Rich, do you recognise this mare?"
Spoiled rolled her eyes at Twilight's simplistic question. "Really dear... is that the sole reason you disturbed me in the middle of my beauty regime, an identity parade? Do I win a prize, if I get the answer right? Go on then, show me this 'mysterious' pony, and then we can all go back t-to..."
Upon being introduced to Starlight Glimmer's visage properly for the first time since her arrival, Spoiled's priggish demeanor changed from snobbish superiority to incoherent lethargy in an instant. "I-It's...y-you... n-no... n-not p-possible..."
Starlight had been keeping quite a low profile up until now, seated purposefully towards the back of the room, splashing little droplets everywhere with her coffee mug in a lightly shaking hoof. But now the grip seemed firmer, the floor was dryer as she'd observed her 'nice' benefactor's behaviour over the course of the meeting, and her account of how she'd treated the precious foal the unicorn had entrusted the wealthy mare with, her face had become ever more ashen.
Meanwhile, Spoiled, in her comprehensive scruntinising of this unwelcome 'blast from the past', had spotted something which had apparently calmed her nerves a little, causing her to release a huge sigh of relief. "...Hang on, I was wrong. It isn't you. For a start, the cutie mark is all wrong..."
"If you're talking about the equals sign, that was a fake symbol put there to fool unsuspecting ponies to indoctrinate them in my old beliefs..." Starlight muttered, with her eyes narrowed. "I am, to all intents and purposes the same unicorn you took the foal off of in Manehattan. Only a little older and wiser, for now I see all this talk of my child going to a good home was nothing but fiction. I mean, you are wealthy as you said, and your husband seems nice, but you... you..."
"I-I can't believe you dredged up this fruitcake from my past. How can you possibly believe a word she says, after she even lied about her cutie mark?" Spoiled, clearly rattled now, was trying to use what little information she possessed of Starlight to get herself out of this incredibly tight situation. "She's a cult member, you know. Believes in stripping all ponies of their cutie marks, because of some weird notion about equality, or something. Absolutely off her rocker. Send her for a psychiatric evaluation, not onto the doorstep of a respectable establishment such as this..."
Starlight paled slightly upon hearing these all-too-true allegations about her less-than-salubrious past, leaving it up to Twilight to speak in her defense. "Ms Glimmer is a completely reformed mare these days, Mrs Rich, so I'd kindly ask you not to bring up a history that she's since made amends for ten times over. She helped save the Crystal Empire from complete annihilation you know, as well as stopped the entire pony kingdom be ruled by a gang of changeling imposters..."
"Absolute tosh and poppycock!" Spoiled sniffed, clearly unimpressed. "That'll be just another one in a whole procession of lies. I suppose she also mentioned that Yakyakisthan is quite warm this time of year, or that the Ponytones have one drop of musical talent. She's a fraud, princess. You've been conned. Now, if you'll all leave without a fuss this very minute, I'll try and make sure this stays out of the media..."
"It's funny, you know..." Starlight spoke as soon as Spoiled had finished her little tirade. "I was just thinking how much you've changed in the years since we met too, and not just in terms of cutie marks. Your attitude seems to be much more haughty and deceitful than the 'grieving mother' I saw in the city that day, and as for your nose, exactly how long have you been sticking it in the air for it to look like that..."
"W-why you... I've never been so insulted in all my life!" Spoiled replied with utter outrage, while adapting exactly the same mannerism as the unicorn claimed with her extended proboscis.
"Well, that's your fault then, 'darling'..." Starlight had clearly had it up to here with her hostess's dire attitude. "You should get out more."
"Are you just going to sit there like a useless brown lump, and let her disrespect me like this?!" Spoiled desperately turned to her husband for assistance. "If you throw these deluded interlopers out, I may be able to overlook your earlier gross indiscretion towards me, and you'll still be allowed to buy that shiny new set of gold clubs you wanted tomorrow, after I've factored in my clothing budget, of course." She added that last part as a little incentive, knowing full well there would be precisely bupkis remaining after she'd thoroughly refurbished herself with gaudy outfits destined to be worn just the once.
Starlight was about to reply with a clever anecdote about how the older mare needed to learn how to 'respect' others first, before she was entitled to the same treatment, but it was never to be heard. For, at that exact moment, the doors to the room swung wide open to reveal a very concerned-looking pink filly, and an extremely apologetic maid standing alongside her.
"I-I'm so sorry, Mr and Mrs Rich. S-She heard her father shouting, and came galloping over. I-I tried to stop her, b-but..." Feather Duster stared down in at the floor that she'd cleaned just that morning ruefully. She hoped that the dole queue wasn't beckoning her name tomorrow... it was so hard to get good work these days.
"So it is true, the Princess and her friends were coming this way, after all. I had to come back to collect my tiara that dropped off while running away from mother, and now I find this going on..." Diamond Tiara entered the room tentatively, while glancing all around with unease. "I-I haven't done anything wrong, honest. I-I'm trying to be a good filly these days, just ask Silver Spoon. Whatever happened, it was probably Snips Or Snails..."
"We believe you sweetheart, and no, they're not here regarding you, at all..." Filthy patted his lap lovingly, and Diamond wasted no time in bounding over there. "In fact, I'm not even sure why they showed up today, because there's been so many interruptions. Grown-ups can be very silly when we all get together, petal. Now, how about we get to the point, Twilight, and no more distractions, please? I have to make the final arrangements for a big deal this evening, that could make or break my company..."
"W-Well..." Twilight stammered, unsure how to proceed with the discussion. She did want to clarify things quickly for the sake of everypony's sanity, but it had been a lot trickier than she'd initially thought with all the outside interference. Plus, there was the added presence of Diamond Tiara in the room now, and obviously something would have to be done for the innocent filly to be excused from this potentially awkward conversation. She turned to her friends for guidance...
...Just in time to see Starlight's horn flare up and Diamond's body levitate as she was about to hop onto Filthy Rich's lap. The two events were connected, evidently. The stunned filly floated a little way to find herself in the warm embrace of the unicorn, as she told the younger pony tenderly: "Oh, my precious child! I'm so sorry about putting you in a home with an abusive mother like this, who almost turned you into another version of my old self! Fear not, because now that I'm back in your life, I'll do all I can to protect you all from harm. Even if that means..."
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Few things sparked Filthy's ire than seeing his daughter ponyhandled in this informal manner, especially by an individual who was little more than a stranger to the wealthy stallion. He quickly leaped off his chair, and engaged Starlight in a bizarre tug-of-war using an exasperated Diamond Tiara as the rope.
With a blithering maid nearby who wouldn't stop saying 'sorry' over and over again, Spoiled Rich looking like she was about to have a cardiac arrest, most of her friends cheering on different sides in the sudden sporting event which had erupted in the room, and Pinkie Pie wanting to know if there were any more biscuits...
Princess Twilight began to develop a newfound appreciation for Celestia's tough job over hundreds of years, and started to wonder if a pointier new horn and wings were worth having to sort this ever-growing mess out.
It took the combined efforts of all six of the Elements Of Harmony, half of the servants left in the house and a good dose of Spoiled's shrieking for Filthy and Starlight to finally be separated, Mrs Rich's deafening screeches eventually providing ample distraction when the unicorn went to cover her ears for the stallion to snatch 'his' daughter away. Living with a demanding mare who makes the same cacophonous noises for hours on end if she doesn't get her own way, you tend to develop a resistance to it.
Eventually, when the rowdy ruckus had settled down a little and everypony was back in their proper place, the more 'casual' conversation could resume. Seeing a clearly disturbed Diamond Tiara being cradled by an irate Filthy, and Spoiled staring daggers at Starlight (with the bitter gesture more than cheerfully returned) it was up to Princess Twilight once again to be The Voice Of Reason and try to restore some semblance of sanity to the room. Although, considering the complexities of the issues that were about to be conferred, this may be just a forlorn hope.
"S-So, e-er..." The alicorn felt a single drop of sweat fall from her horn at the mammoth task that lay ahead. Funny, she'd no idea you could perspire up there. "As I was trying to ask, before the discussion got a little heated, what do you know of my new student, Mrs Rich? Obviously, from your somewhat 'lively' interaction just now, you've met her before, but what I'm trying to ascertain is, in what circumstances, and where?"
A distinctly cagey Spoiled, still refusing to remove her eyes off the resolute Starlight for one single second, answered without turning her head. "We've had...dealings before, that's all."
Finally, we're getting somewhere. Twilight was just happy to make any progress at this stage, and she quickly moved to capitalise on the breakthrough. "I see. And would these 'dealings' happen to involve a certain pink filly over there..."
"Just what is going on here?!" Filthy bellowed, having heard quite enough back-and-forth and accusation-and-denial for one day. "You ponies turn up here on my doorstep in the middle of the day, make veiled allegations against my family, then nearly start a full-scale riot! Now, you know I have great respect for everything you've done for the community here Twilight, and even more so you Applejack, but don't you think by this point I'm owed a little more than mealy-mouthed questions? Tell us why you came here please, and what this has to do our daughter?"
Spoiled, now sitting next to her husband, let out a pronounced humph at this point, before leaning into purposefully wrap two hooves around her family in a moving display of kinship. Or, far more likely, it was a sneaky attempt to encourage the ready-to-fly-off-the-handle-again Starlight to lose her temper once more, thus making her an even more unreliable witness.
Twilight gently tapped her growling student on the shoulder to try and get her simmer down, before turning to Filthy to address him directly. "I guess this all may seem a little confusing for you Mr Rich, and for that we apologise. We had no intention of intruding on your lovely home today, and we sincerely regret any distress we might have caused you or your family. Circumstances however, dictate that we couldn't leave this matter unattended another day. Please bear in mind that you're not suspected of any wrong-doing, as regards what we came here to discuss..."
"W-What are they talking about, Daddy?" Like any child her age, Diamond Tiara was extremely anxious about hearing such disconcerting dialogue, and went in to cuddle him closer. "A-Are we in any trouble?"
"Nopony here is 'in any trouble', sweetheart..." Filthy Rich addressed his daughter in a reassuring, calm voice, even though his insides might have felt like they were being scooped out. "But it may be better if the grown-ups were left alone for a little while to discuss this situation, whatever it is. I'm sure it wouldn't interest you, anyway. Feather Duster, could you please take my daughter to the kitchen, and give her a cookie from the jar? The luxury ones, please..."
"BBuutt DDaadddd..." Diamond whined, clinging onto his underbelly closely.
"No 'buts', darling. Other than yours in the kitchen, please. Pretend this is one of my essential business meetings, that could be the difference between you getting a sparkly new tiara, or not. You've been very patient with me in the past when I've requested you to stay out of the room while I'm talking to very important ponies, now I'm asking you to wait for me again. I promise not to be too long, and this whole silly thing will soon be straightened out. Do you think you can trust me, on this?" Filthy Rich gazed down with affection at 'his' daughter, while ruffling her mane tenderly.
Diamond took a moment to glance at all the other faces in the room, paying special attention to the, from her point of view, deranged mare who'd grabbed her with magic just as she entered. "O-Okay." She stammered, after a lengthy pause. "As long as you promise you won't be too long. I don't know why, but I feel kinda scared..."
"Thattagirl. And, I promise to try and be as brief as possible..." Filthy nodded his agreement, before gesturing to the maid who'd remained by the entrance. "Now, take Feather Duster's hoof there, and she'll look after you. I'll see you very soon, dear. Just be good, and don't go running off, alright? Everything'll be fine, you'll see."
A few months ago, none of the mansion's staff would have agreed to be left alone with the demoness known as Diamond Tiara, even if you offered them triple salary and a month's free vacation. Ever since her 'conversion' over to the side of all things good and pure though, most of the servants found her a true pleasure to be around, so there was no hesitation at all in Feather Duster taking the pink filly's hoof to lead her briskly away. The jovial maid even pledged that her young charge would receive 'the cookie with the most chocolate chips inside', possibly to try and curry favour toward her boss for her own inattention in letting the child slip away in the first place.
As Diamond was corralled outside, a look of desperation clearly painted on her face all the way to the door, Filthy returned to his usual sober self. "Good. Now that we're alone again Twilight, perhaps you can start from the beginning as to why you saw fit to turn up unannounced today, and cause this mini-kerfuffle in the confines of my own mansion... and this time, I would appreciate it if there were no interruptions from anypony."
"Filthy, do we have to go through all of this, now?" Spoiled Rich had spent the last few minutes watching her nervous 'child' leave the room and heard her husband's ultimatum with growing unease. "Obviously, Princess Twilight has been taken in like I was, by a very clever pony with an knack for manipulating others. These mares and their pet lizard are victims of a tragic hoax, and I would advise caution in believing anything they tell you. It's a psychiatrist they should be taking their friend to, not us..."
At this stage, Filthy released the kind of prolonged sigh that could only be expressed by somepony who'd suffered under subjugation for eons. "My love, you know that I adore you, even though other ponies may question my wisdom. So much so perhaps, that I let you get away with many transgressions most sane husbands would never dream of allowing their wives to. But if this is concerning our daughter, then I think we need to know what's going on right now, and I want to hear the whole story without any disruption from those around me, including your good self. Seeing as this is in regards to your filly as much as mine, I'm sure you can appreciate that... can't you?"
Realising that if she said a blunt 'no' all of her credibility would slip away like her good looks over the years, Spoiled wisely decided to just play it safe for now and put on her patented 'nice mare' act. "As usual, you know best, dear..." She spat, in a sugary, syrupy voice while forcing her lips into a truly frightening alligator-like grin.
"Good..." Filthy seemed to revel in his no doubt temporal 'in charge' status. "Now Twilight, if you could do the honours, maybe we can get this whole sorry mess cleared up by this evening, and life can go back to normal. I swear there will be no more unanticipated breaks, so feel free to tell us everything. Come on, let's hear it..."
Twilight gulped a little at the apparent ignorance of Filthy as to the magnitude of the matter which now faced him and his wife, and dreaded to speculate on his response when he found out the truth behind Diamond Tiara's birth. After all, the way he'd just talked down his banshee of a wife when in all other interactions that'd been witnessed she'd had him firmly under her hoof, proved to the alicorn just how much the filly mattered to him. If he could derive that much strength from the devotion to his 'daughter', Celesia knows how heartbroken he would be when he discovered...
Nevertheless, she had a job to do. "Okay, Mr Rich. You'd better get comfortable, because this is going to take a little while. Also, prepare yourself for a bit of a shock. Do you remember a business trip you took to Manehattan about nine years ago? W-Well..."
The elegant clock in the lounge continued to tick on as the hands moved, but that's about the only thing that stirred in the room as Twilight told her tale. The Princess tried to be as thorough and descriptive as possible, glancing back to Starlight every so often to clarify if she'd got the details of a crucial event right.
Her student nodded occasionally to let her teacher know that her facts were all in order, being far more interested in continuing to stare her hook-nosed nemesis down than actually contributing towards the retelling of distant history. Spoiled, for her part, was very amenable in obliging her unwitting surrogate parent in a contest to see which one could produce the most hostile glare, and a real battle of the scowls began to emerge. Not quite as enthralling as the earlier tug-of-war, but still an intriguing spectacle nonetheless.
As for Filthy Rich himself, he was surprisingly restrained, considering the revelations currently being imparted must be turning his very world upside down. At first he sat back emotionlessly, then as the story moved onto developments behind the covert 'adoption' of Diamond Tiara he leaned forward in his chair, as if analysing every single word carefully. Finally, when he was informed about the early life and nefarious deeds of Starlight Glimmer in 'Our Town', he slumped back in his seat, while the ceiling began to hold a certain fascination for him.
Twilight was also sure to disclose the later, more laudable, accomplishments of her pupil too, just to put into perspective how far she'd come from being a brainwashing cult leader. The Princess understood, with everything the stallion had to mull over concerning his 'daughter', he might not be too engrossed in Starlight's backstory. She wanted to be fair to the unicorn however, and show she was a completely different pony these days from the horror that Spoiled would no doubt describe her as, when the retelling was concluded.
Sure enough, as soon as the final words left Twilight's lips, Filthy's wife opened hers. She didn't even afford anypony there the courtesy of taking a breath, she just let loose with wild abandon. "That's the biggest heap of Diamond Dog droppings I've ever heard! Darling, you don't honestly believe all that, do you?! Remember all those months I was pregnant, with morning sickness, which meant I had to spend time off work? Why would I make any of this up? Are you really going to take the word of this... this... freak, over mine, your loyal and faithful wife? This 'Starlight' simply wanted to exhort money from me back in the city, and when I refused to comply, vowed to get revenge one day. She's already got a member of the royal family and all of her minions eating out of her hoof, don't you be taken in too..."
"Oh, shut up! I don't want to hear anymore of your lies!!" Filthy's sudden verbal blast raged through the room like a sonic pulse, almost turning Spoiled a nice shade of white in the process and causing an already agitated Fluttershy to fly under the sofa in panic.
Maintaining a perfectly straight face, but with visible tears gathering at the edge of his eyes, Filthy Rich strolled through a speechless room towards Starlight, whereon he did something quite amazing. He took ahold of both of her fore-hooves and cradled them in his own, while studying her carefully, as if properly seeing her for the first time.
"Even though every fibre in my body is telling me 'no'... everything adds up, and... I-I b-believe y-you..." He announced with grief, and that's when this big, strong, stoic stallion finally broke down completely, with a bewildered Starlight reduced to hugging him while patting his back tentatively, and even a quietly observing Spoiled felt a little twinge in her blackened heart at all the anguish she'd unleashed that day.
Filthy Rich held onto Starlight for quite some time, ably assisted by a comforting Twilight and Applejack (who'd suddenly joined the fray) either side of him. The unicorn herself didn't say a word as she automatically began patting the sobbing stallion on the back, her face remaining as inscrutable and thoughtful as usual.
As for the other mares present, Rainbow Dash was clamouring to get out, as big emotional moments weren't really her kinda thing. Rarity wanted to go and open up her boutique for the latter part of the afternoon, but didn't want to be rude. Fluttershy had managed to crawl out from underneath the settee, and wondered if her pets were going to be alright. Pinkie Pie felt in desperate need of cheering everypony up, but even somepony as occasionally dense as her could see this was an inappropriate time for her usual brand of wacky slapstick.
...Then, we come to Spoiled. The uppity mare couldn't seem to decide whether to make a strategic bolt for it to avoid any possible repercussions, or continue to try and talk to Filthy in order to dig herself out of the deep hole she now found herself in. In the event, she couldn't pick either option, and so just stood in the middle of the room, resembling a statuesque Discord before his accidental release by a bunch of quarreling elementary students.
Finally there was Spike, who had his own problems... most of them revolving around his favourite princess, or 'best friend' as he preferred to call her. Twilight had quite a packed itinerary for the rest of the day after the spa session, and as her 'No 1 assistant' it was up to him to make sure that she wasn't tardy in her many duties. Sadly, because of her extended stay down at Rich Mansion, some of these events would have to be cancelled altogether, like baking Breezie Cakes for the orphans, or collecting the forms for the town-wide Census from Mayor Mare's office. Protecting a fresh delivery of emeralds and rubies from down below underground, though... that was something he was sure that she wouldn't want to miss out on, and it was instantly upgraded to being next on the agenda. As impartial and unbiased as ever, our Spike.
Diamond Tiara was still mercifully out of the room, Feather Duster having been given strict instructions to steer the pink filly well clear of the vicinity until the older ponies had finished their strenuous debate. Who knows how much the impact of discovering that most of her life was built on a lie would affect her, that her real parents weren't the wealthiest couple in Ponyville at all but instead an unimportant stallion from a nondescript village and a former wannabe dictator who'd almost destroyed the world out of pure spite. Quite a stepdown from her current status, from most pony's perspective. Alas, now that the secret was out there was no way of shoving it back into the bottle, so the participants were all just going to have to deal with the messy aftermath together, come what may.
The situation being on a knife-edge as it was, it was hardly surprising nopony wanted to raise their voice to punctuate the tense atmosphere. Eventually though, what with being the de-facto leader of the little band of unexpected visitors who'd sown such seeds of disruption in the formerly quiet mansion, Twilight felt obligated to speak up. After all, as much as she enjoyed her old career as a book lender, it wasn't really appropriate to cultivate an atmosphere similar to that of a library when so much needed to be discussed. So, she dared open her mouth, and ask the first question that came into her head to a still sniveling Filthy Rich.
"How did you know she was telling the truth so quickly, if you don't mind telling me?" This query was in reference to her student Starlight, and the unicorn afforded her a quick glance of irritation as if her trustworthiness was once more in doubt. That wasn't Twilight's intention at all, though: She was just genuinely surprised at the speed in which the tycoon had dismissed his wife of many years and had accepted the word of a total stranger right off the bat.
Filthy wiped his bloodshot eyes slightly and attempted to reply in his usual gruff manner, but his crackly voice couldn't hide the tremor caused by the startling revelations he'd heard that day. "J-Just small things, really. N-Nothing really added up at the time... the speed of her pregnancy, no visible bump for months beforehoof, the fact that nopony even saw her give birth, her fake 'surprise' afterwards at being a mother, her apparent disconnect with our daughter which has continued over the years... I could go on. I-It was all a lie, a ruse to keep me in her good graces while she spent all of my hard-earned money. H-How could anypony b-be so..."
There was no point in expecting any genuine remorse from Spoiled obviously, who continued to huff like a sullen teenager with her back turned to the large group. Upon hearing Filthy's 'childish' tirade though, she couldn't help but feel a wave of paranoia begin to overtake her. Since when have I been relegated to 'her'?! He didn't even call me by my first name, the cheek of it! Damn that interfering mare... isn't it enough that I gave her little brat a home out of the goodness of my heart? How dare she bust in now, insult me to my face and break up the perfect little life I've built here. I'm going to have to think fast, or everything I've ever worked for could be in jeopardy...
In the meantime, Twilight was ready to speak once more. "If you don't mind me saying so Mr Rich, those aren't really 'small' things. I hasten to ask this at such a delicate time, but you're an intelligent businesspony... how did you not see that things weren't right when Spoiled came to you with the sudden news? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, this is purely for my own curiosity."
"I suppose I was blinded at having a foal, an heir, something that would love me for who I was rather than my income..." Now that the barriers of trust had been well and truly shattered between him and his wife, Filthy saw no point in holding back his true feelings any longer. " I wanted, nay needed so much for it to be true, that every time a little doubt came into my head, I simply dismissed it as the anxiety of being a new father. Y-You can convince yourself of anything if you try hard enough, a-and your life is so starved of love and affection it's a struggle sometimes to get up in the morning. I-I have to wear a beaming smile all day at work for the customers, it's amazing none of them over the years have called me out on how fake it m-must b-be..."
Every single pony (and dragon) present winced a little upon hearing the precarious state of the Rich's marriage, and the only conclusion that could be drawn was the thin glue holding it together was a certain absent pink filly. Now that her heritage was under serious examination, their uneasy union was arguably under threat of becoming unstuck more than ever before, and all in front of a live audience too. Pinkie Pie began to seriously miss the popcorn that Applejack had confiscated from her earlier, as she hadn't been this entertained by a show since Hinny Of The Hills back in Manehattan.
Also paralleling that experience, the grumpy Spoiled in front of a thoughtful Rarity began to resemble a Miss Suri Polomare, and not just in colouring, either. Coco Pommel had told the fashionista about how the thieving designer had sulked after she'd quit, and after comparing Spoiled's affable demeanor together with her nasty personality once the facade had cracked, it made the similarities between the pair impossible to ignore. Imagine, in the same way Diamond Tiara might be Starlight's secret daughter, the two of them might be long-lost sisters... she speculated, a sudden shiver running down her spine. Gosh, Equestria might just collapse under all the self-entitledness and malevolence. Please let it not be so...
Attempting to avoid a potential domestic, Twilight once again tried to move the conversation onto more familiar terrain. "I-I see. Well, sorry to be the bearer of such bad news. But facts are facts, and now you seem to have accepted that your daughter, even though I'm sure you've done a wonderful job of raising her, was obtained using less-than-legal means, we have to decide where to proceed from here. I'm not sure we're going to able to sort everything out in one day, but for now if we can just talk like normal, rational ponies I'm positive we can make some progres..."
"Speaking of 'how she was raised', the first thing I'd like to know is what I've missed of her life up until now." Starlight had been quiet for a while, but finally found her voice again in her eagerness to discover a little about her filly's past. "If it's okay, could you please fill me in on all the precious moments, and other stuff such as her likes and dislikes, what she wants to be when she grows up..."
This question was directed at Filthy Rich, but before he could so much as move his jaw an unwanted interruption arrived in the form of his wife, who attempted to bring back their old system of 'doing things' by speaking for both of them. "Oh, I can tell you all about that myself, dear. You'd be so proud of the job I did with your discarded offspring that after I regale you with the intimate details, you'll be on your knees begging me for forgiveness for treating me so harshly upon your arrival here! I'll have you know that my child is going to grow up to be a true leader, a mistress of all she surveys, a idolised inspiration to every single pony who flocks to bow under her command! Of course, there have been a few bumps in the road along the way, mostly perpetuated by three of her lesser classmates who've tried to stymie her ambition at every turn, and impose their own worthless brand of 'friendship' onto her undeveloped psyche. But we persevere together as a family, and even though we're going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment due to their meddling, I'm sure we'll overcome it together, and we'll have her back on the fast train to success in no time at all!"
Even though all those present were shocked at Spoiled's unrequested reintroduction to the conversation, and Filthy seemed on the verge of blowing his top once more, Starlight seemed unusually unphased. "Tell me more, please. This should be absolutely fascinating." was her simple, deadpan reply, and she began to observe Spoiled's speech and mannerisms like a hawk.
A bit taken aback at Starlight's hitherto unseen interest in her 'unique' parenting, Spoiled began to think maybe she'd misjudged this bothersome upstart. "Gladly..." she grinned feverishly, before attempting to express just what made her the best caretaker of a future toast of society.
As Spoiled finished her convoluted account of how she'd been such a 'perfect' mother to little Diamond Tiara since her sort-of adoption over the last decade, the reaction was not quite what she anticipated. Thinking she was going to greeted by unabashed praise of how her brilliant uncompromising discipline had resulted in the inception of a tough, self-confident filly who would rule over all, she was instead being given unwholesome looks which alternated between total exasperation and true horror. Even Filthy hadn't known the true extent of what his wife had gotten up to during his numerous work-related absences, his tearful, angry mood before replaced by one of utter shame.
Everypony now was fully engaged in the ongoing discussion, even those who'd previously wanted to go home before out of sheer boredom. This was shown by each listener speaking in turn, all having something to say about Spoiled's parenting methods and the misery Diamond Tiara had wrought on Ponyville as a result of following her depraved teachings.
"You encouraged her to spend her entire cute cenera mocking other ponies without special symbols?! No wonder I had to give her a lecture on the true meaning of cutie marks, and she spent the rest of the day on the stairs looking miserable afterwards!" Twilight shook her head at what she'd heard the pink filly was being taught at home.
"...And now we know why all those little ponies turned up on our doorstep at Twilight Time, forcing me to make all of those nachos that we just threw away in the end! I had tired claws for weeks afterwards, and it was all your fault!" Spike had felt previously he could befriend anypony, but one such as Spoiled began to make him doubt the veracity of that claim.
"What about my poor little Sweetie Belle? Being made to feel like a pariah after that awful newspaper full of untrue stories was published. You... you..." Having heard that Mrs Rich had not only condoned Diamond's errant behaviour but was complicit in it, it was all the usually unfailingly polite Rarity could do to keep a civil tongue in her head.
"Don't forget Scootaloo, who felt as worthless as dirt the day of the big try-outs because of this thing's teaching about 'disabled' ponies being a drain on the system. Why, I oughta..." While Rarity was trying to stop herself from merely saying harsh words, Rainbow Dash was chewing at the bit to pop Spoiled right on her curved schnoz.
"What you did wasn't very nice..." "I almost wish I hadn't organised her cenera party for you now. Almost, because everypony else had so much fun." Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were also complaining, although perhaps to a lesser extent than the individual accounts their friends were describing.
"So that's why Babs turned on her cousin so quickly... Diamond was misusing her talent to coax her into being a bully, too." The final words went to Applejack, and hearing about Spoiled's antics was an eye-opening experience for the farm mare, but not in a good way. " Not to mention how rude she was about Granny Smith, and how much she tried to embarrass Apple Bloom in class! Why did you let this happen, Filthy? You run your business like a tight ship, how could you let things get so bad at home?"
The tycoon was struggling to answer that question for himself, his face having already descended into a kaleidoscope of emotions nopony could read. Regardless, it rendered him unable to speak, so his wife took the initiative to rush in and 'defend' him. Lucky guy.
"How dare you speak to my betrothed like that!!" Spoiled huffed arrogantly, not wanting to pass up the opportunity to get back into his good graces. "You're just jealous that the entire revenue of the worthless Apple clan can be measured in smelly untamed animals and moldy old apples, whereas we have a fabulous house, glamourous outfits and enough money to fill our outdoor swimming pool ten times over! It's such a pity that serfs like you could never appreciate the value of being upper-class, and instead choose to marinate in your own jealousy. Oh well, at least after explaining everything I hope you all understand now why removing my Diamond from her clearly inadequate care at birth was the best thing that could have happened to that fortunate foal. She has all she could possibly need, I'm raising her in my perfect image and she stands to inherit one of the most successful companies in the world now. She couldn't have wished for anything better, than falling into our loving hooves after her less-than-ideal start in life, I'm sure you agree, dear."
Spoiled was now talking to Starlight, who'd been sitting stock-still for quite a while now, in direct contrast to before when she'd lost her rag at the slightest provocation. As it was, she'd simply listened unblinkingly to Spoiled's lengthy testimony with keen interest, and hadn't even bat an eyelid at her friends less-than-pleased responses to it. Now that she was being addressed directly though, she slowly ascended from her chair and trotted over to the giant ornate clock, her back turned to everypony else the way Spoiled's had been during her brief strop earlier.
"W-Well, dear? Have you nothing to say for yourself?" Despite her exterior bravado, Spoiled was beginning to get a little jittery at the perpetual silence, and the other ponies present were also starting to feel tense at what the pensive unicorn's next few words would be.
Eventually, a few moments later which felt like an eternity, Starlight turned to face her captive audience to utter six simple words that were about to have a profound affect on everypony there's lives from now on:
"I want my daughter back. Now."
Immediately thinking this was a bad joke, Spoiled Rich ignored the slumped form of her husband in front of her to address the only pony there who could get things done. "S-She's kidding right? T-There's no way she could possibly ask for that... a-after so long..." this was accompanied by a nervous chuckle.
Not really wanting to even acknowledge the questioner but having little option but to respond, Twilight replied in a tone which only be described as that of the utmost seriousness.
"Starlight, just what did you think you were playing at?! You should have let me try and straighten things out first before sticking your muzzle in. I told you this before we came down here today. Now, you've possibly made a difficult situation even harder to unravel..."
"Twilight, I really appreciate everything you're doing for me right now. I could never have found Spoiled Rich without your help and have the courage to confront her in her own mansion, but try and see things from my point of view. The daughter that I lost all those years ago has been in the hooves of a deceitful monster ever since then, and I won't rest until I rectify my mistake."
"You didn't lose her, Starlight. You gave her up... there is quite a large difference, you know. Even if the 'adoption' was never made official, these two have been Diamond Tiara's parents for the last ten years or so, and we have to respect that. You can't just expect to pick up where you left off, after spending so long away. It's not like she even recognises you, either. Besides, what experience have you ever had at being a parent?"
"W-Well, n-none Twilight, but you know that already. That's why I came up with this great plan that could work for everypony! She can come and live in the castle with us, and in the same way you've taught me all about friendship, I can set about righting all the wrongs that have been done to her since I los... I mean, 'gave her up'. I won't let her stay a second longer in a clearly unsuitable environment where the 'father' is barely here, and I think we've both formed the same opinion about the so-called 'mother'..."
After Starlight's surprise proclamation that she'd be departing with her birth daughter that very day, she'd soon been marched outside by a very red-faced Twilight, leaving the two Rich's to overcome their shock in peace with the other members of the entourage. Applejack had been trying to speak softly into Filthy Rich's ear to rouse him out of his stupor, so far to no good effect. A cataclysmic bankruptcy of Barnyand Barnyards would probably have had less of a visible impact on the ailing stallion, who's only slight movement came from a small sliver of drool which now dangled freely from his frozen jaw.
As for the main instigator behind this tumult otherwise known as Spoiled Rich, the malicious glares she received from Rainbow Dash in particular and the general feeling of contempt which emanated from the others present were enough to help her conclude that perhaps it was best to keep quiet for now. There would be plenty of time for talking later on when she'd had ample opportunity to consult her lawyer, and put an end to this ridiculous farrago once and for all. They're not leaving with My Diamond. Over my dead body.
In the meantime, the alicorn and her student had managed to secure an empty room nearby (not difficult: there must've been near a hundred spare in this oversized mansion) to discuss the ongoing situation in relative privacy. Right now, Twilight was pacing up and down shaking her head an awful lot, as a resilient Starlight continued to defend her decision with gusto, refusing to back down an inch.
"Y-Yes, I think we can both agree that Mrs Rich is a little... unconventional in her approach to foal-rearing..." Twilight had learned well the language of diplomacy during her brief tenure as a princess. "... and it's also true that Filthy could've been around a lot more to stop some of her worst influences from taking shape. But what you are proposing: I have royal duties all over Equestria every single week, and Spike has his own chores to do. This'll leave you alone with Diamond for long periods of the day, and you'll have to deal with her every need. How do you expect to be able to meet her essential requirements? I mean, I know you don't like me to bring this up, but it wasn't so long ago you were living in a dark cave all by yourself, plotting mine and our friends' destruction..."
Starlight seethed slightly at the unwelcome dragging up of the unicorn's troubled past, but deep in her heart she knew her mentor had a point. "Don't you think I know that?!" she said defiantly, but with an edge of sadness. "That's why it's even more important I regain custody of her at this crucial stage of her development, so she won't fall into the same twin pitfalls I did as a filly, of bitterness and self-annihilation. I really think we can help each other, Twilight... the responsibility of looking after a little one will give me the added impetus I need to take my reformation to the next level, and in return I can provide her with the love and support she'll require to stop her from becoming... well, another me. When the time is right, I might even introduce her to her real father back at 'Our Town', or whatever they're calling it now."
"Whoa! Let's step back for a minute!" Twilight couldn't help but think things were moving forward a little too fast, and it was time to apply the brakes a tad. "I'll admit... you've been making wonderful progress in your Friendship Lessons, and your heart is clearly in the right place. But although Diamond might have been taken from you under false pretenses, you have to ask yourself: Would she have been better or worse off to stay with you back then even after everything she's been taught, when your only goal was to rule over an entire village with manipulative megalomania? Also, even though you are my valued student, and you did just help save the world from the Changeling menace, I have to be fair to the Rich's in my final judgement. Plus, we haven't even heard Diamond's feelings on the matter yet. In other words, this isn't something that'll be resolved overnight."
Starlight stopped pondering so seriously for a moment, to stare at her teacher in disbelief. "W-Wait, you mean... you get to decide where my daughter lives?! I thought you were just the Princess of Friendship. I didn't realise you held that much power."
Twilight simply shrugged her shoulders, before saying matter-of-factly: "Until this matter reaches a higher court, say in front of Celestia herself, that's the way I interpret it. Such incidences like this are exceedingly rare, so I'll have to research the exact protocol. My official title might have 'Friendship' in front of it, but when I had the honour of this role bestowed upon me, I was also given the dual duty of dealing with all problems Ponyville-related, big and small. After all, Cadence might be the 'Princess Of Love', but I don't see her role limited to helping others find romance and contentment in the Crystal Empire. In any case, you can curb your excitement if you think this means you hold any sway in my ultimate decision. Part of having such an important task is possessing the ability to be completely neutral and impartial in all aspects of the job, so don't expect any special favours. What I do next will be entirely in the interests of the child, full stop. Sorry if that disappoints you, but rules are rules."
On the verge of throwing a mini-celebration in her head at the thought of the 'judge' in the case being such a good friend, Twilight's firm rebuttal to the potential advantages posed by that notion poured cold water on Starlight's metaphysical party almost immediately. She began murmuring with annoyance under her breath, and her language wasn't exactly pleasant. Soon enough she found her head gently lifted up by a concerned Twilight, who had something very imperative to ask.
"Now, I want you to think about this very carefully... a lot more carefully than your flippant assessment inside the lounge earlier. What you decide to do now will have an impact not just on your life, but on everypony around who cares about you, and especially on the young one that you may find yourself looking after soon. Let me ask you one more time... are you absolutely one hundred per cent positive this is what you want? Would you like to go home and think about it for a while, before you make your mind up? Nopony would blame you for that considering the rapid chain of events today, which even the most level-headed of ponies would have difficulty getting their head around."
A very slight scintilla of unease did enter Starlight's previously adamantine brain at this point, as a few of the more pertinent questions she'd managed to suppress until now began to float to the surface. Am I really equipped to do this? What'll happen if I mess up? Do I really deserve a second chance with such a precious filly?
But then, another thought came into her head, a much more disturbingly graphic one. It involved a despotic Spoiled Rich laughing manically as her slave/daughter ordered legions of innocent ponies around to do her bidding, with all of Equestria under siege from the duo's tyranny. The populace were plain powerless to resist the pink filly's cutie mark, as they were herded into disparate groups and forced into work farms, all for the sake of their conquerors' greed, naturally. Because of Starlight's selfish hesitation, because she didn't do the right thing when she had the chance, Spoiled now ruled with an iron hoof. This worldwide devastation was all her fault, nopony else's. She might have stopped the destruction of everything via time travel, but in reality she was just postponing a future tragedy which some might say was even worse...
"I can't let that happen! I won't let that happen!" Starlight suddenly broke out of her perhaps somewhat over-exaggerated daydream, thrusting up one firm hoof in her resolution and almost causing the nearby Twilight to fall back in surprise.
"U-Um... are you feeling alright, Starlight?" the alicorn blinked herself back up to her stationery position, all while wearing a slightly worried expression on her face. "If the pressure is getting to you, we don't have to discuss this now..."
"On the contrary, my head hasn't been this clear for ages, Twilight!" the unicorn now seemed utterly unmoved in her stance, any remaining traces of lingering doubt long since dispersed. "The future of the world depends on it! I-I mean, I'm sure I can give my filly a good home, an excellent upbringing and most of all, get her to use her formidable powers the right way. Do you know who taught me to do that?"
A slight blush entered Twilight's cheeks upon hearing her student's heartfelt praise, but she did her best to maintain a stoic pose. "W-Well if you're absolutely committed to this course of action, then there's only two things left to do. First. we'll inform the parents that you're not going to change your mind..."
"Definitely not." Starlight nodded to indicate she fully understood.
"Then... well, I think you know what the next item on the agenda is." Twilight went to glance down mournfully at the ground, reflecting on how tough she expected the subsequent activity would be.
Starlight too, even in the midst of her inner strength reaching peak levels, felt a pang of sympathy for the little one she'd left behind all those years ago.
They'll be no easy way to do this, but it has to be done. We're about to rip a filly's world apart. I only hope I can put it back together again.
Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer trotted back into the crowded sitting room after their talk as if they were late arrivals to a wake. They just received cursory nods from their friends upon entry which perhaps reflected the gravity of what was about to unfold, nopony said a word as the pair took up central positions in the large room.
Only Spoiled maintained her consistently spiteful gaze as the pair prepared to make their long-awaited announcement together, and as they were about to do so the ornate clock just behind them rather ominously struck five. This unexpected and unwelcome interruption had the effect of putting both mares off their stride, allowing Filthy, who'd now regained at least some semblance of lucidity, to beat them to the punch in terms of speaking first.
"S-So... w-what's g-going ... t-to h-happen... n-next?" He enquired carefully with a trembling voice, as if the fragile sentence was in danger of collapsing off his tongue any moment, with a maid having to clear away the loose letters later.
"We were just about to get to that..." Twilight cast a sympathetic glance in the increasingly nervous tycoon's direction. "...But first of all, me and Starlight would like to express our appreciation for all of your patience in waiting around while we privately discussed the matter, after all something this important shouldn't be taken lightly. Isn't that right, Starlight... Starlight?!"
"Huh?" The seething unicorn had seemingly just resumed her ongoing scowling match with Spoiled without any hesitation, like the initial round had been a warm-up for the main event. "Y-Yes, yes. That's right. And I want my daughter back today. That's my final decision, so you better start packing her things right now."
Oops. It was apparent that Starlight, egged on by Spoiled's dismissive demeanour, was in no mood for subtlety. This put her mentor Twilight in quite the precarious position, as the carefully prepared speech she'd composed in her head where she'd attempt to peacefully reach out to all parties would have to be jettisoned in it's entirety. Oh Starlight... the alicorn shook her head in frustration, why must you always take the sledgehammer approach?
The impulsive unicorn didn't seem to mind disappointing her teacher though, as her clear ultimatum achieved the desired effect she'd craved from those gathered: Complete Pandemonium. Immediately, there were half-a-dozen animated conversations ringing out wherever you cared to listen... some of encouragement, some advising caution, and at least one reptilian wondering when the heck this three-ringed circus was going to end so more urgent matters could be considered. Like gem-watching, gem-polishing and gem-scoffing, naturally.
Through the incoherent hubbub of intermingling voices, the silent sobs of one Filthy Rich cut through like a knife to the heart. But whereas Starlight had felt a degree of pity for the inconsolable stallion before, now her only focus was on leading her filly away from that negligent male and his monstrous wife once and for all. She even deigned to smirk in victory at a slightly paling Spoiled there and then, as if hinting at possible plans to come regarding her flesh daughter's future...
"Enough!" Twilight had tolerated an ample portion of the verbal soup she'd found herself entrenched in, and a flow of magic passed through her horn to light up the room in a brilliant incandescent light. This stunning, shimmering spectacle shushed everypony forthwith into silence, aside from the steady beat of Filthy's soft weeping into Applejack's now quite sodden mane.
After pausing for effect briefly, Twilight cleared her throat and attempted to regain some kind of control over proceedings. "As I was about to say, albeit in a few more words..." the princess stated officiously, while casting her eyes at Starlight in irritation. "My student has decided, for her own personal reasons, that she'd like to regain custody of her child. Let me assure everypony here though, that despite her somewhat casual approach to the matter you've just witnessed, this is a decision she thought long and hard over, before reaching a..."
"Excuse me, but may I say a few words?" The only mare there with enough chutzpah to cut off a visiting royal put her hoof up, before continuing to babble on without waiting for permission. "I can't believe you'd even entertain such arrant nonsense! This disturbed delinquent has no business being in civilised company at all, let alone entrusted with the life of such a precious filly as My Diamond! I don't care how many times she's 'redeemed herself' or 'saved the world'... she willingly gave up her own foal without a breath of hesitation, and to a complete stranger, too! Now, I'm not saying she made the wrong choice, in fact through sheer luck I'd say things have worked out very nicely indeed. But what kind of a potential caregiver does that?! A blatantly unworthy one, that's who! And that's not even going into detail about whatever other misdeeds she's been culpable of. Are we really supposed to believe that this clearly unstable girl has an iota of ability to take responsibility for any other lifeform, whether it be a brainless goldfish, a little filly or even herself? I say she hasn't. Madness, that's what this is. Pure madness..."
"Mrs Rich, let me reiterate that contrary to what Starlight just rather hastily blurted out, no final decisions will be made today, wherever Diamond Tiara ends up next..." Twilight's neutrality was under threat as she couldn't help the tiniest of eye-rolls. "...And you can rest easy, that everything will be taken into account when her final permanent placement is decided. That includes the treatment administered to her at her current address, in case there's any confusion. After all, if we're not fair and impartial in Ponyville, we're no better than a pack of squabbling Diamond Dogs. So, if you want a small tip from me, I'd save your theatrics for the court. We have a long process ahead of us and getting overly worked-up at this early stage isn't going to help anypony."
Spoiled pulled one of her infamous faces upon hearing this 'unsatisfactory' answer, but unable or unwilling to take issue with any of the alicorn's argument, she sat back down while petulantly crossing her hooves. The unprecedented accomplishment of temporarily shutting up the garrulous mare earned Twilight a nod of gratitude from a still fired-up Starlight, but the princess didn't acknowledge it. She was simply trying to calm things down to a more rational level, which might be a forlorn hope considering what she hoped the next course of action would be...
"Now, I want you all to prepare yourselves." Twilight said, scanning the room to make sure everypony was listening. "I think, with the agreement of her parents of course, now is the time to tell Diamond the truth about her heritage. This is probably going to be the most difficult part of the procedure, and once it's over we can start thinking further into the future. It's impossible to know what kind of an impact hearing such difficult news will have on somepony so young, which is why I think it would be for the best if everypony present waits outside when we reveal the truth to her... parents and Starlight excepted, of course. As the pony in charge of this case at least temporarily, naturally I'll stay as well. There's been enough needless disturbances here today, and the last occasion we need another one is when Diamond is trying to comprehend everything in her head. Do all of you understand?"
Despite Filthy's desolate despair at what'd unfolded in his very own mansion that life-changing day, he was somehow able to nod his approval of Twilight's plan, reasoning to himself that it wouldn't be long before the entire town knew anyway, so why bother delaying the consequences?
Spoiled, still a little perturbed at Twilight's thorough dressing-down of her shameless grandstanding, murmured a less-than-enthusiastic 'whatever' to the princess's request, already thinking ahead to who the slimiest attorney for hire was, and how much she could derive from the Crown after she sued them for this outrageous abuse of power.
Somewhat disappointed that they were going to miss the climax of the action, yet a little relieved to be out of that stuffy room finally, the rest of the visiting entourage left the lounge in single file, but not before Rainbow Dash gave Spoiled a final warning glare for good measure, and Pinkie Pie made sure nopony was looking as she sneaked away a plateful of yummy cashew cookies under her disheveled mane... for 'research purposes', of course.
Only Applejack lingered a little longer, whispering something secret into Filthy's ear which not even Twilight managed to overhear, before the orange farm pony straightened her stetson and took her leave with the other departing ponies.
It was as the area became completely free of individuals who weren't directly linked to the case that Twilight gestured to Filthy, as if she somehow expected him to know what he should do next. After staring blankly at the alicorn for a few seconds he seemed to grasp her meaning, as he did his best to stand up once more with his customary presence and panache, despite his vulnerable mental state.
"Feather Duster..." He exclaimed to his servant a few doors down in the kitchen with impressive redolence, under the trying circumstances.
"Yes, Sir?" A faint servile voice could be heard in the near distance, waiting on the next instalment of the Master's instruction.
"Come here this instant. Bring Diamond with you, if you please."
In the midst of hearing such dramatic news that would probably shape the rest of her life, one would expect a naturally curious filly like Diamond Tiara to have a thousand and one questions.
From the moment she'd sprinted back inside the now suddenly much more spacious lounge, bored of the dubious child-entertaining talents of Feather Duster as she was to firmly deposit herself back onto the lap of her barely-keeping-it together 'father' however, she'd been strangely subdued. It was as if she'd figured out all by herself that so many distinguished ponies wouldn't have turned up on her doorstep that day without a few good reasons, and she wanted to hear all of them. So very mature for her age, Twilight couldn't help but note, maybe the one thing Spoiled was correct on.
Aside from receiving the whole unedited story from those present, Diamond's overlying concern seemed to be making sure her Dad was okay. Even though the stallion was now doing a persuasive job of covering up all of his doubts and insecurities for his daughter's sake, he needn't have bothered. When you possess as close a relationship as those two have forged, the phrase 'I can read you like a book' becomes almost redundant.
Regardless, not a word was uttered during Twilight's lengthy reprisal of the pink filly's true family history, with the only other movement in the vicinity being Starlight's unblinking looks of adoration towards Diamond, Spoiled's persistent grunts at regular intervals concerning sections she took issue with, and Filthy's gentle stroking of the youngster's mane: the comforting filly had quickly becoming the one needing to be comforted herself.
It was only towards the end of the extended tale, when Twilight reached the crucial part where Spoiled made off with her foalish self in Manehattan to raise her in a not-quite-legally-binding adoption, that Diamond's eyes began to widen. The logic behind all the odd looks she'd been getting from the weird unicorn sitting across from her began to make sense, and she creaked her neck around as if to properly observe Starlight for the first time.
"Y-You're... M-My R-Real... M-Mother?!..." The filly recited those four simple words as if she couldn't quite believe them herself, like she was playing some kind of silly fantasy game where the winner was the one who came up with the most implausible scenario. Judging by the incredulity of her tone, she thoroughly expected to romp home in first place.
This was no fun yet irrelevant diversion, though... it was bitter, truthful, painful real life, something that became ever more apparent at Starlight's next statement. "Yes, I am my darling. And I promise you: one day not too soon from now, I'll take you away from this dreadful place, and give you the wonderful fillyhood I never had. We're going to have so many good times together you and I, and you'll never have to see that awful mare over there ever again..."
Twilight's annoyed glare aimed directly at her reminded Starlight that she may be overstepping her boundaries a tad with her intervention, while everything was still fresh inside the youngster's mind, so she reluctantly cut short her 'welcome' speech for now.
This gave Filthy a chance to say his piece, although once more he seemed to trip over his own words in his unremitting sorrow. "D-Diamond, I-I want you to know... t-that whatever happens from this point on, y-you'll always be the precious, shining little jewel in my life, a-and I-I'll always love you as if you w-were my own..."
"Oh please! Less of the sentimental hogwash, darling! You're making me feel rather queasy, and just before teatime, too!" Spoiled Rich and Rainbow Dash had little in common, but one notable trait they shared was a profound dislike of emotional outpouring displays. "You and I both know, My Diamond's not going anywhere! Aside from the fact that no court in Equestria would entrust her care to such a certifiable basket case, just look at our daughter! She's let herself get shown up at her own cute cenera by a bunch of pathetic blank flanks, she can't hold down an editor's job at the school newspaper for a week without being replaced by a goofy shutterbug, and she didn't even make the final cut to represent Ponyville at the Crystal Empire Games, beaten by a crippled pegasus, of all humiliations! And, that's not even going into how she embarrassed me in front of the entire school when I was trying to drum some much-needed discipline into her disobedient head. Frankly, right now she's worse than useless, I'd even go as far as to say she'd be completely lost without my guiding hoof! With my essential help long into her marehood years, she could grow up to be somepony truly special, but first I have to remove all of that harmful programming her new so-called friends have corrupted her with. Then, and only then, can I wipe the slate clean and start her out on the long road to recovery by returning her to who she was before those insignificant low-lives got their tawdry hooves on her. She certainly wouldn't get that kind of support from Miss Grimmer over there, which leaves only one viable candidate to look after her from where I'm sitting. To be honest, you'd be unwise to even take this to trial, Princess, unless you want to be laughed out of the courthouse at how preposterous this entire sorry enterprise is. So, why don't we just stop all this foolishness now, and..."
Up till now, Diamond's face had been creased with thought, her mind struggling to cope with all the new information it was trying to process. She'd been too cogitative to get angry... too contemplative to cry... in fact, just a few short moments ago, the overriding state of the pink filly's being could be described as 'numb'.
...Until her ears pricked up at the sound of Spoiled's latest impassioned rant. Then, everything changed.
Towards its end, Diamond's neck spun around to face the sneering mare head-on, eyes that had been filled with bewilderment now narrowed in enmity, brain that was previously wracked with turmoil suddenly clear as a bright summer's day.
She leapt off Filthy's lap without warning, Twilight and Starlight backing away in puzzlement at the sight of this new, confident Diamond Tiara. Whatever else they might have expected from the aftermath of the testy meeting, it definitely wasn't this.
The pink filly strode right up to a somewhat perplexed Spoiled, looked her straight in the eye and in a loud, booming voice just like her adopted father's, said:
The stand-off began in earnest. It was a tense one for sure, as neither one of the sharp (tongued) shooters involved wanted to give an inch. Whoever was eventually declared the winner in this thrilling contest of nerves would be a worthy victor indeed.
What made the final outcome extra spicy was the fact that the two defiant protagonists were none other than mother (at least, until a few hours ago) and daughter. Both were incredibly strong-willed, stubborn, spirited ponies of the highest calibre and there seemed to be a very real danger that either could burn a hole in the other's retina with little added effort.
Eventually though, all tough competitions must come to a grinding halt, and with her eyes watering freely in a room full of absorbed spectators including a princess, Spoiled decided it might be time to concede. Or, as she preferred to put it, change her tactics. This wasn't a case of trying to save face, not at all. She was simply being the bigger pony by concluding things in a more refined fashion.
"Diamond..." she clenched her teeth together into a forced grin, while indicating to the company around her. "I don't know if you've realised this dear, but we have guests. I'm quite sure they didn't travel all this way to witness a mere child such as yourself openly disrespecting their mother in this manner, when we have such important matters to discuss. Sit back down darling, you're embarrassing yourself."
"Embarrassing mysel... what?!" The audacity of the older mare's claim caused Diamond to be the one who blinked first, but frankly she wasn't even bothering to keep score. "The only one 'embarrassing' themselves here is you, 'mother'! Do you ever even listen to half the stuff that comes out of your mouth?! And, to think I used to follow your every instruction without fail while looking up to you as a good parental figure. Thank goodness I finally saw the light..."
"If by 'saw the light' you mean 'let yourself get manipulated off your esteemed pedestal by a bunch of lower-class noponies' darling, then you and I are in complete agreement." Spoiled humphed, before kneeling down to the filly's level to address her in a tone that she thought was very motherly. "Whatever happened to us, My Diamond? We used to be so close... I would give you the best advice I could muster, and you would rush out and enact it straight away. You used to rule the school, and as head of the board there I 'overlooked' your numerous indiscretions in return for your unquestioned loyalty. Those were heady days indeed, my darling, and I remember them oh-so-fondly. But now, now..."
Spoiled then really turned on the waterworks to maximum output, spouting so many fake tears that even a crocodile would've turned away in disgust. She had her eyes scrunched up extremely tightly to complete the illusion that she was a mare on the edge, so she couldn't survey the no doubt devastated reaction from the others present in the room, but she was sure that even at this preliminary stage of her 'breakdown' she was winning hearts and minds to her cause. It's time to step up my game, a little more of this sensationalist melodrama and I'll have them eating out of the keratin in my hoof.
"... N-Now, it's like I don't even recognise who you are anymore! You return from school, telling me about how you rolled in mud with those heathens who took you away from me, and it's all I can do to run outside with my hooves in my ears to stop the mental torture from spreading! You describe your new relationship with that four-eyed grey filly as if you are true equals, even though you know her family has less than a tenth of the Rich's wealth! Also, whatever happened to that lifelong mantra I taught you early on... 'Treat 'Em Mean, Keep 'Em Keen'? Has all we ever had been lost forever, as the result of a single ill-advised afternoon trip to a treehouse on the day after your failed election? I-I just want my daughter back, the one I raised almost single-hoofedly after her irresponsible father has spent the best part of the last decade globetrotting around instead of helping raise his family the way he should. T-The one I sacrificed day after day tirelessly training to be my successor, but now seems in very real danger of turning into just another imbecilic moron who fritters away all of her privilege on the undeserved. A-And the one I cry over every single night, worrying into the wee small hours about her future since she mistakenly cast out my sage life-lessons and decided to heed the words of equine trash instead. W-Whatever the nasty unicorn pretender tells you, never forget this: I'm your real mother, who will care for you and support you endlessly, that soppy stallion over there, for better or for worse, is your real father, and nothing that a simple biology test could prove will ever change that fact."
Mascara running everywhere like greyish drizzle. Enough protracted sobs to make you think she's drowning. Such a tour de force of powerful acting, it's amazing she hadn't been snapped up by a talent agency already. At least, that was the utterly unbiased personal review Spoiled gave of her own stunning performance.
When she eventually stopped the histrionics and peeked between her tears though, to see what the great unwashed thought of her scripted rendition of the tragic victim of all this chicanery, there wasn't a mildly damp eye in the house. In fact, and this was so unexpected she had to rub her eyes twice just to be absolutely positive she wasn't seeing things, those clueless philistines seemed even angrier than they were before Spoiled's blubbering affectation. Even Filthy had ceased his petty whining and now saw fit to stare at his wife with the intensity of Celestia's sun, all grief in his expression lost for the sheer contempt he now held in his face for her.
Completely flabbergasted by this somewhat lukewarm reaction to her debut, Spoiled couldn't help but garble on incoherently as her jaw neatly hit the floor. " I-I d-don't u-understand... I-I d-don't..."
"It's okay 'mother', I don't blame you for not understanding such basic values as decency and humility. After all, it's not like you've demonstrated any knowledge of them since I came into your possession. Anyway, on that note, I think it's about time I said my piece."
Her mask of amiability now having slipped completely, Spoiled could only stay seated mannequin-like as her 'daughter' stood up on her hind legs, leaning against the older mare's paralysed form while addressing her directly. This was less a gesture of affection though than a sign of intent, to emphasise just how much Diamond believed what she was about to say and how they'd be no weaselling out this time by the slippery adult.
"First of all, please don't insult my friends like that. Those 'imbeciles' you seem to loathe so much are actually some of the most well-respected, popular fillies in all of Equestria, let alone Ponyville. The way they helped me and so many other lost ponies discover their true destiny has given them worldwide fame, something you might know if you picked up a copy of a newspaper once in a while instead of languishing around the spa all day, having various body parts covered in gunk which is just as 'disgusting' as the mud I roll in. I dare say they'd even help you out with your unknown mark, if you were a little nicer to them. Also, have you even seen the new, improved Foal Free Press? It's been going from strength to strength ever since my awful tenure there, under the fine management of Featherweight. That's his name, by the way... and my other friends happen to be called Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Silver Spoon. You seem to have a real problem with remembering who they are don't you, and just homing in on their most negative feature. That's something you're going to have to work on, I think. Mind you, to give you some credit, others have the same problem. In fact, just in class the other day, Snips mistakenly referred to you as 'that big nosed old bore you have living with you who won't shut up about herself'. I quickly corrected him of course, but I'm beginning to regret having done so now."
Stung by her 'daughter's' insolence, yet seemingly unable to put together a legible response in her head, Spoiled glowered down at the pink filly while testing out the bounds of her own extensive vocabulary. "Y-You... Y-You..."
"See, there you go again... forgetting your own child's name. I'm 'Diamond Tiara', in case your memory's playing tricks on you once more. Another thing that seems to have lapsed from your mind is that I'm my own filly. Not your lackey, not your underling, and most definitely not your clone, thank goodness. I think I'd rather take a bracing dip in the pits of Tartarus than grow up to be cast in your image. I think the reason I now spend most of my time outside this mansion and with the Crusaders is because I'm so grateful to them for having saved me from a fate worse than extra sprouts for lunch. Oh, by the way I should mention... they've just elected me club president. While I'm not an official member per say, it does mean that I'll be utilising my once misused abilities of organisation and leadership to help other fillies and colts out in my position from now on. We might even hold some meetings here sometimes, that treehouse can get a bit chilly in the evening. Who'd have thought it? The symbol I was so confused by and ashamed of for so long actually doing some good. And it took a 'brainless bumpkin', a 'tuneless singer' and a 'helpless cripple' to help me realise that. Unbelievable."
Quite unable to pierce any holes in Diamond's intolerable tirade, Spoiled did something she sought out very rarely indeed: Her husband's help. "Well, are you going to just sit there cross-eyed while our out-of-control child rips me to shreds?! When are you going to stand up and be a real stallion, you..."
"Looks like old habits die hard with you, 'mother'." Diamond shook her head sadly at what she now saw was an ongoing problem of name recognition. "You're either going to call him a 'waste of space', a 'pathetic shell of a pony' or just plain 'worthless'. And you wonder why my Daddy is always so nervous around you, why he rushes off first thing in the morning before even having his coffee so he won't have to endure your constant insults. It's amazing he has any self-confidence at all, seeing as you've made it your life's mission to demoralise him at every turn. Or throw his money away on stupid things, I mean, come on now... who needs a hundred silken hoof warmers in the middle of Summer?! Seriously. 'Filthy Rich' is who he is, he's built Barnyard Bargains up into the most successful business in the world, and he's my Daddy that I love with all my heart and soul. I'd say he deserves more, much more, than being reduced to the status of 'whipped mule' or 'bottomless wallet'. The only reason he's been away so much, is because he has to work so darn hard to fund your massively expensive lifestyle. Perhaps, if you weren't so unhappy and unfulfilled with your own shallow existence, that you constantly feel the need to bring down others to your pathetically low level of materialism and selfishness, you'd see all the good he's put back into the community around here and how beloved it's made him. The only aspect of my Daddy that baffles most ponies though, is: 'What made him marry that gold-digging mare in the first place?' I have to say, to all intents and purposes, I draw a blank on that one, too."
By now, Spoiled was visibly quivering in her chair, the sheer force of her 'daughter's' words penetrating every sinew of her shaken being. The haughtiness was gone, the pretentiousness had vanished, and all that remained was a gasping, grasping, nervous wreck... to such an extent that even Twilight almost felt obligated to step in, to stop the pink filly from shattering the older mare's psyche entirely. The alicorn had never seen this day coming in a million years... the day she felt a microcosm of sympathy for Spoiled Rich.
Diamond wasn't quite done yet though, and saved her most scathing remarks until last. "I have to admit, I'm still reeling from this whole 'you're not my mother' thing, but mainly because it's such a surprise, not because I'm sad. It's an entirely different story with Daddy of course, and me and him will probably have a good cry about it later wrapped in each other's hooves. As far as you're concerned though... I'm struggling to see who'd be the worse parent. Somepony who dumped me as a foal into the custody of a total stranger, or a mother who seems to have done everything possible to make me as miserable as she is. Who knows, maybe I would have been better off with the 'certifiable basket case'."
And with those festering final remarks, Diamond turned with intentional nonchalance to trot leisurely back into the comparatively warm bosom of her 'father's' embrace, who now'd recovered completely from his earlier despondency and gazed at his little girl with as much bursting pride as he ever had. As for the others who'd watched this fascinating spectacle unfold with increasingly widened eyes, a conflicted Twilight was struggling to hold back the ghost of a smile, while it was all Starlight could do to stop herself from seizing up her birth filly with magic once more, and hug her tightly as she whispered in her ear "That's my girl".
Returning to Spoiled, and to say she was 'on the ropes' would be a gross understatement of the truest facts. Ego shot to smithereens, self-worth almost crumbled to dust, for the first time in eons she was actually beginning to doubt herself, as unfamiliar and unwelcome questions began to permeate the inner sanctum of her mind.
I-Is that all I am? A freeloader? A leech? A hypocrite? A 'drain on society' with no unique characteristics of her own, a charge which I'm constantly accusing other, less affluent ponies of? How could I have ever stooped so low? Oh Celestia, I hate feeling this way. This is all the fault of that meddling unicorn, who just had to reenter the picture when everything was going so swimmingly. After everything I did for her and her screaming, incontinent little brat. Talk about ingratitude. Why, I oughta...
Suddenly, the nefarious gears of Spoiled's labyrinthine mind began turning once more even in the midst of her uncomfortable bout of soul-searching, and soon her brief soliloquy was all but totally gone. In its place, a dastardly scheme quickly began to unravel in her head: One so cunning and ruthless in its inception that even her teeth were itching at the prospect of exposing it to the world. She'd have to be tread with caution though, because otherwise...
"Oh Diamond, honey..." just as the pink filly was a few merciless inches away from plopping herself back down on her welcoming 'Daddy's' lap, her ears pricked up at the sound of Spoiled addressing her once more. "Could you come back here for a minute please, sweetums? Mummy has a very special proposal she wants to put to you."
"I've already said all I want to say to you..." Diamond had evidently decided that her 'mother's' broken authority and selfish desires were no longer worth her time, and prepared to jump onto Filthy's chair without any further delay. "I have nothing else to add."
"Oh, but you see that's what I want to talk to you about. You're absolutely, one hundred per cent certain that there's nothing you'd like to take back from that unhinged bout of rambling you inflicted on us all just now?"
"Nothing whatsoever. Why is it so important to you, anyway?"
"Because, darling..." and at this point the trademark Spoiled Rich smirk finally made it's non-awaited reappearance. "Based on what you've just told me, I have a deal I want to strike with you. One which even Filthy, with all of his laudable business savvy, might find hard to match."
"I'm quite sure that anything you could concoct would have far too many strings attached, and be loaded with your own self-interest at heart, so no thanks."
"Ah, but you don't know what you'll get if you 'win', though. How does this sound: I shall get a straight divorce from your father, with no needs for lawyers or any of that courtroom malarkey. I'll just go back to live with my folks in Fillydelphia to help out with the diary, as mortifying as that would be. So, how d'ya like the sound of that?"
If the phrase 'knock me down with a feather' held any weight, somepony had just thrown an entire pillow at Diamond. "W-What?!"
"It gets better..." Spoiled chuckled in amusement at the pink filly's stunned response. "I won't even ask for a final settlement. I'll just leave Rich Mansion without a bit to my name, and that'll be that. So, do you wish to know more about what I'm suggesting, dear?"
Diamond however was still recovering from the mere thought of her 'mother' making such a wild proposition in the first place, and could only yelp out 'W-W-What?!" repeatedly as a refrain, albeit at an increasingly higher volume.
Unable to derive much sense from her astonished 'daughter', Spoiled instead looked past the shocked faces of Starlight and Twilight to zoom in on her hubby instead.
"So, Filthy. As sad as it will be for us to part ways, I can see the only way out of this tragic conundrum is for me to be the better pony and embark on this gamble to save our family from utter destruction. So, how about it, then?"
She needn't have bothered speaking to him though, as he was in no fit state to reply to anypony. The clue was in his drooped figure, dangling lifelessly halfway off his chair.
"Really Filthy... and you wonder why we never managed to conceive a foal of our own. Just look at you, sleeping the sleep of the damned! Or the damned lazy, as I prefer to put it. If this is the kind of response you have to receiving a simple proposition from your loving wife, then who knows how you would've lasted more than five seconds when it comes to 'doing your duty' between the sheets."
"Mrs Rich, I hardly think this is the time or the place..."
"...Not that I've experienced that 'pleasure' for years, Princess. This selfish brute has always fallen asleep as soon as his head's hit the pillow. Honestly, I don't know why us girls bother with stallions at all, when they're not letting you down in the bedroom department they're having a free all-expenses vacation gallivanting across the country. He calls it 'work', to which I say ha! Just another lame excuse for his unsatisfactory performances, both as a father and a lover. If I were you dear, I'd concentrate on running the kingdom, not fluttering your eyelashes at that commoner Flush Pantry. It's just not worth it, having a roll in the hay for the sake of many, many disappointments that lie ahead..."
Splutter... "First of all Mrs Rich, it's highly offensive to even infer I have those kind of feelings for Flus... I mean, Flash Sentry. He's simply one of my many loyal guards while I'm in Canterlot, nothing more. Also, don't you think this conversation about your love life is a little inappropriate considering who else is in the room?!"
"Oh darling, you've gone quite the shade of bright red! I wish I'd bought up this topic sooner, because that's the exact shade I need for the wall of the new tanning salon I'll be having commissioned in the east wing soon! And there's no need to be shy around My Diamond, I want her to have all possible knowledge about the basic facts of life before she's old enough to be wed. I'd already picked out at least three serviceable candidates for her future mate, all of them dashingly handsome with a surfeit of resources to support her financially. Best of all, each potential nuptial would bolster the already auspicious Rich family name to dazzling new heights. There was a time not so long ago that she was more than happy to fulfil her natural born obligations and wed according to the strict guidelines I set out for her, but ever since that beastly trio set off a spark of rebellion in her immature head all I hear is this 'I want to marry for love, not wealth or status' nonsense. She's even thinking of getting a career, the shame of it all! When is she going to realise that being a kept mare is far preferable to working yourself into an early grave. I mean, ever since I left the dairy under a cloud that day, I haven't had to lift a hoof except to wave the butlers away after elevenses, and just look at how I turned out!!"
"Y-Yes, Mrs Rich. Just 'look at how you turned out'. In any case, I'd rather you didn't discuss such matters of an intimate nature with me, including idle speculation about my personal life. Not everything you read in The National Hayquirer is right, you know. At this moment in time, your sole focus should be on Diamond Tiara's future, and your partner's health. Speaking of which, it looks as if he's finally coming around."
"Is he? Oh good, then... maybe I'll finally get some answers from the useless lug regarding my brilliant idea. First, he refuses to defend my honour when our very own daughter is verbally abusing me almost to tears, then he starts napping in the middle of the day when he should be paying attention to my needs! It's little wonder he manages to get anything done at all, with an unreliable temperament like that. Did you know Princess, that pretty much all of Barnyard Bargains's success is down to me badgering him everyday to do the simplest of tasks? Why, just this Tuesday, he wanted to go to work wearing a black tie! Can you believe it?! What a disgrace! Doesn't he realise, that this is the season everypony wears white?! I have to admit though, he put up quite the taxing battle when I tried to get him to do the right thing. After some convincing counterarguments from me, a bit of sweet-talk and a few smashed appliances later, he at long last thankfully saw sense. Later that day, as a direct result of my thoughtful encouragement, he signed one of the biggest deals in his company's history. This never would've happened if he'd showed up looking like he was attending a funeral. But did I get any thanks? What do you think?! I'm suppose I shouldn't expect any now either for my marvellous suggestion that'll save this loving family from destroying itself from the inside out, but I guess at least one of us has to stand up to do what's right. You know, as opposed to collapsing like a house of cards at the merest hint of pressure..."
"W-What?! W-Where am I?! O-Oh no...T-That voice. A-And that face. AARGH! I'm having a nightmare!! Help me somepony! I'm too fancy to be dragged off by pointy-nosed demonic... oh."
Filthy Rich abruptly jolted awake from his shock-induced blackout, the smelling salts helpfully bought along by one of his servants on the request of Starlight apparently doing the trick. The first image he saw upon reemerging into the waking world, a ghastly, ghostly apparition leering down at him at if wanting to suck out his very soul, almost made him wish he could reenter his blissful state of stupefaction on a more permanent basis.
His little 'daughter' by his side, hugging him while whispering tender words of love in his ear, made him realise some things are still worth fighting for, however. He attempted to straighten himself out to a reasonably respectful level, before daring to stare down the behemoth right in front of him in a feat of unparalleled bravery .
"W-What was it you just said, that made me conk out? Something about 'the horse'..."
Spoiled giggled at her husband's misheard word, lightly kissing him on the cheek in her merriment. Despite his best efforts, her pursed lips made a direct hit. "You silly goose, Filthy..." she said, chidingly. "I said we could get a quickie divorce. Although, if you wanted to, you could remarry a horse afterwards. Or even a yak, I don't really care about the perversion of nature that would entail afterwards since I'd be long out of the picture. I'll have you know, There would be a line a hundred miles long to seek my fair hoof after we separate, and you'll live to regret treating me so shabbily..."
"Just tell me what your terms are, so we can get it over and done with. After today's revelations and your unforgivable conduct in front of Princess Twilight, I'd say I'm just about ready to throw in the towel." Filthy was naturally suspicious of any offer that his shrewd shrew of a wife (soon to be ex, hopefully) might make which would put her at a disadvantage, but so desperate was he to see her promptly leave he was more than willing to take the chance of being played for a sucker.
Even though she was prepared for all possible outcomes, Spoiled seemed a little genuinely hurt at how swiftly Filthy wanted to get things moving. "W-Well if that's how you feel darling, then I'll get straight to the point. Obviously, the last fifteen years have meant nothing to you, if my little 'personal problem' can break us apart so easily."
It doesn't matter how outwardly feeble a pony is on the surface, occasionally when their back is against the wall the only option is to come out swinging. For Filthy Rich, this was one such precious moment. "If you actually think that's the reason behind my utter disgust, you really must be as short a memory as Diamond implied." He scowled, while shaking with anger. "Don't you remember all the nights we cried together in each other's hooves, after you got your infertility results back from the doctor? As if I was any less than a rock for you in your time of need. Then, when you had our 'miracle foal', I was the happiest Daddy in the whole of Equestria. Now I find out that too, was nothing but a dirty lie. Just like everything else in our sham of a marriage, from our wedding vows onwards. I'm not going to shout or raise my voice now because of our guests, but if you can't see a slight disparity between the way you're acting now compared to when we first met, you really are deludi..."
"H-Hmm y-yes, very interesting, Filthy. O-Obviously, there's an issue of trust with us too, if certain things we said we'd never mention again can be discussed so openly..." Droplets of sweat began pouring from Spoiled's brow all of a sudden, as she attempted to change the subject at breakneck speed. "A-Anyway, L-Let's stop dredging up the distant past, and just concentrate on the future, s-shall w-we?"
Filthy's comments however hadn't escaped the attention of one Twilight Sparkle, who's curiosity was piqued enough to remark: "Actually, I think I'd like to hear a little more about..."
"L-Look, this is not up for debate!! We're here to talk about my daughter, not me! So let's just move on... unless of course, you want me to withdraw the resolution entirely." Spoiled was determined to regain some kind of control over proceedings, and quickly moved to staunch all other 'unhelpful' chatter then.
Frowning at not being able to push the issue any further, Twilight reluctantly gave in. "Anything you say, Mrs Rich."
"Thank you. At last, a consensus we can agree with." Spoiled breathed a sigh of relief, before returning to her usual hauteur. "Now, as I've already kindly proposed, I'm more than willing to forego any kind of financial restitution in our tragic parting of the ways, in return for one minor favour. Can anypony here guess what that might be? A cashew cookie to the one who gets it righ... hey, where have they all gone?!"
Completely unfazed by the unexplained disappearance of Spoiled's nut-laden sweet treats, Starlight was the first to comment. "Let me have a stab... your sole condition is that you'd keep me from ever seeing my own daughter again, just because of your petty hatred. How pathetic can you get. Let me just say for the record, that I'll fight you every step of the way with this. I won't rest for a second 'til I... what are you laughing about?!"
It was absolutely true... Spoiled Rich was now rolling around on the marble floor clutching her sides, as if somepony had just told her a startlingly hilarious joke. Each pony in that room glanced at each other in turn, wondering what on Equestria had gotten into the usually stoic mare who'd now become nothing more than a cackling mess on the floor. It's not like her laughter was in any way appealing to the ears either, sounding more like a shrill shriek of distress on constant repeat.
Fortunately, before everypony's ears could start bleeding at the onslaught of this obtrusive racket, Spoiled abruptly stopped her mini-fit just as quickly as she'd started. "Phew, that was a good one, Miss Dimmer..." She sighed with exhaustion, while making sure her mane was properly combed over once more. "Rather than running around Equestria making a nuisance of yourself, you should've been on the comedy circuit. A little while ago in town, we had this stupid clown... I think his name was 'Cheesy Roll', or something? Whatever he was called, the ignoramus had me up from my beauty sleep half the night with an outrageously loud party. You would've got on quite well with that tactless buffoon, I'd wager."
"For the record, his real name is 'Cheese Sandwich'..." Twilight was beginning to get more than a little fed up of Spoiled's non-stop insults, even stretching to ponies she hadn't met before now. "...And that 'loud party' was in honour of my friend, Rainbow Dash's birthday. I'm sure you don't begrudge one of the heroes of Equestria her special day, in light of everything she's..."
"Actually, I do... especially when said 'hero' looked about ready to knock my teeth out earlier for whatever reason." Spoiled snarled, gnashing her chompers which were luckily enough still fully intact. "And, no wonder Mayor Mare refused to prosecute those responsible for that outrage the day afterwards, when I put in an official complaint at her office. Talk about an injustice. Still, when I've coached My Diamond out of her current brush with insanity, she'll be running the show around here and things'll be very different..."
Going to pat her 'daughter' on the head, Diamond's quicksilver efforts to avoid Spoiled's hoof were considerably more successful than Filthy's failed attempt earlier at eluding a smooch. Looking down crossly at her rebellious child, the older mare decided to waste no more time in describing just how this 'deal' would work in practice.
"I found your speculation about my alleged future plans so funny earlier Miss Rimmer, because what I'm about to suggest is the exact opposite. I am saying that if my daughter finds the prospect of having a misfit like you as a mother so appealing in contrast to my good self, maybe we should find out she handles that scenario in a real life situation... at least, for a little bit."
Confusion reigned all around upon the announcement of Spoiled's staggering invitation. Each pony present became completely dumbstruck, with absolutely no idea why she was suggesting this all of a sudden or how it could possibly be beneficial to her cause.
Eventually, and with a large degree of cautious optimism, Starlight was the next one to speak again. "W-Wait a second. D-Does this mean..."
Turning to her main adversary, Spoiled afforded the unicorn her friendliest expression since she'd turned up on the Rich's doorstep that day. "That's exactly what I mean, Miss Limber. If all of us, including old misery-guts over there agree, we'll sign over all full custodial rights to you, for one whole month. Then, if Diamond somehow manages to survive your amateurish administrations until then, I'll be out of the door forever. By myself, without the need for an expensive, time-consuming, emotionally-draining, headline-grabbing trial either. No ifs. No buts. Of course, me and Filthy will still see her regularly during that period to make sure she's still breathing, but for the most part you'll have complete control over her comings and goings. I'll even let the Princess and her pet reptile help out too, if they so wish. However, if things don't go quite as well as I suspect, and she comes galloping back with her tail between her legs..."
At this point, Spoiled's roving eye turned it's glare onto a completely speechless Diamond and Filthy, and she smirked so broadly you probably could've shoved a watermelon in her mouth.
"...That'll be when things get interesting. So, everypony... shall we start talking turkey?"
"... And that I'm afraid is my final offer, darlings!" Spoiled Rich glowered ominously at those ponies nearby 'lucky' enough to be in her glorious presence, her tongue darting in and like a boa constrictor, while looking as if she was ready to wrap herself around each and every one before introducing them to the art of slow digestion. Not that she'd ever do such a thing, of course... cannibalism was strictly for the lower classes.
Quite unable to keep up with all the steady rate of twists and turns that'd assailed them already that hectic day, the quartet of listening equines stared at each other with slack jaws, unsure how to react to yet another big surprise. Eventually, it was Filthy Rich himself who took the initiative, his voice trembling both with the anger he quite clearly felt justified in showing at his wretched wife, and the horror of what might occur if her inevitably dodgy deal was taken up, and he lost....
"Y-You mean to tell me...." The wealthy stallion bellowed, trying to get his head around the complexities of Spoiled's proposal. "...T-That if Diamond does indeed return to the mansion after less than a month of being in Starlight Glimmer's custody, y-you expect me to stay married to you, a-and ban my daughter from ever seeing her friends again?! W-Whatever makes you think I'd agree to such a..."
"Really, dear. I only told you the ins and outs of our potential arrangement a few minutes ago..." Spoiled huffed, rolling her eyes at her husband's supposed ignorance. "...So who exactly are you repeating all this to? Is your memory so bad, you have to refresh it this thoroughly and with such regularity? Its hardly surprising your board meetings seem to last an eternity, with a CEO who probably needs cue cards just to make the opening remarks! I'm starting to think when you accuse me of having bad recall, you're actually subliminally protracting your own personal problems with amnesia, sweetheart..."
"You leave my Daddy alone!!" Diamond hadn't even been present for most of the heated debate regarding her welfare which'd raged in that room, and already she was sick of her father's good name being dragged through the mire. "He's done more for Ponyville than anypony else I know! And what exactly do you do while you're at work, 'mother'? Sit around your office at school all day eating soft-centred chocolates, trying to expel all the colts and fillies you don't like, which is basically anypony without a cutie mark or from a lower class background? I think we both know who puts in a lot more than they get in return, and it certainly isn't you!!"
Spoiled gave her 'daughter' a withering glance, before her unwanted attention turned to Twilight. "See what I mean, Princess?" She sighed, shaking her head with exaggerated sadness. "What sheer impudence! The utter cheek of today's youth makes me want to cry into my sleep mask at night! I think it may even be giving me wrinkles! I'm not ashamed to say I live for the blessed day I can remove My Diamond from the corrosive atmosphere in public education full of irredeemable riff-raff to homeschool her myself. They'll be no more of this 'jungle gym' and 'mud pie' nonsense, just good old-fashioned discipline combined with a heathy appreciation for one's true prestigious background. Me and my daughter together, separated from the parasites that make up the majority of this backwater dump, as I teach her about the most important things in life. Such as: how to polish silverware for the many fabulous parties she'll no doubt host when she becomes a toast of society in marehood. I hear you're quite the expert cutlery-cleaner yourself, dear. When she eventually arrives at your shiny new castle, perhaps you can give her a few pointers as to proper wiping techniques..."
"H-Hang on... t-that's not why I... w-what I mean to say is..." Twilight was for once caught on the hop a little, as she struggled to comprehend just how Spoiled could possibly know so much about her personal life. "C-Could we please stick to the issue at hoof please, Mrs Rich. Obfuscation may be fun for you, but this discussion is about a filly who's lived with you for the best part of ten years. Surely, even you must care in some small way about what's about to happen to her..."
"Of course I do, darling..." Spoiled let out a hoarse (not horse) laugh, while dismissing the alicorn's major concerns with a waved hoof. "In fact, this whole scenario I've intricately mapped out in my head is purely for her benefit. I'd quite willingly pack up my bags and leave for Canterlot with my precious little jewel tomorrow, if it wasn't for My Diamond's essential requirement for both a mother and a father. Why you ever left that fine place Princess, to relocate to this pitiful slum in the middle of nowhere I'll never understand..."
"... Mrs Rich. We've had quite enough of your opinions of everything from the amount of clouds in the sky to the length of my horn, so could you please just remain focused on Diamond. I think I speak for all of us when I say to you that we'd be very grateful if you stopped being sidetracked by irrelevances..." Even a pony who was as well-versed in keeping a civil tongue as Twilight seemed to be getting a little ticked off. If her screwed-up face wasn't enough of a clue, the grinding teeth should have been more than ample evidence as to her growing irritation.
"Now now Princess, there's no need for that kind of gutter talk. I was simply making polite conversation, and attempting to find out the answer to a quandary thats been buzzing around in my head like a Parasprite for quite some time now. If the inherent narcissism associated with your new distinguished role make it impossible for you to engage a humble subject in basic chit-chat though, so be it." Spoiled stared right back at the alicorn, almost with a look of disappointment. "I was going to invite you for a cup of refreshing coffee and a nice slice of cake at one of my prestigious candlelight suppers soon, but seeing as how you hold me in such clear contempt..."
"Just get on with it!!" This was the first occasion Twilight had been goaded into noticeably raising the volume of her voice since her entrance that day, and the others there (Spoiled excepted, of course) turned to look at her in surprise.
This included Starlight, who hadn't really been listening to the last few lines of the increasingly loud exchange going on around her, as focused as she was on staring at her real daughter and just how close they could be to becoming a family once again...
Spoiled meanwhile was grinning almost feverishly, as if she'd won some sort of great moral victory by getting Twilight to lose her temper a tad. "If you insist, darling. I won't even complain to Celestia about your less-than-professional conduct here today, because I can appreciate your unpreparedness for the difficult task ahead. After all, it's not every day a simple librarian living in a bug-infested tree suddenly becomes a princess in a grande palace! The culture shock must've been so intense, you must've been blown off your very hooves! One day, I hope we can be very special friends, and I can tell you all the 'dos' and 'don't' of being a valued member of the elite. Perhaps, we can start by addressing some of the less-than-ideal company you keep. Anyway..."
Spoiled's gaze turned away from the now somewhat mollified Twilight to once more settle on her favourite target of all: her 'beloved' hubby. "Now, dear..." she said firmly, with a slightly disturbing gleam in her eye. "You obviously weren't listening to what I just told you. First of all, I said that I'm going through all this tiresome malarkey for the sake of our family, not to line my own pockets with it's destruction. After all, even though Diamond's got a strong, independent female presence around, what would her life be like without a reliable and worthy stallion to guide her way through the trials and tribulations of fillyhood? Of course, she doesn't have the latter at the moment, but one day I'm optimistic you'll grow into the role. Hopefully, anyway. Touch wood..." Upon saying those last two words, she quickly tapped the large mahogany table twice.
Filthy continued to splutter red-faced as each callous word reached his burning ears. His wife was obviously upset by his earlier rather easy acceptance of them getting a divorce, and now she was paying him back in spades. "W-What exactly is it you're saying, Spoiled? I can't really make out your intentions through all your pathetic insults..."
Frowning a bit at the unexpected and unwelcome reappearance of her husband's backbone, Spoiled nevertheless pressed on. "Anyway, the thing you seem to have missed in my detailed explanation as to how this whole set-up will pan out darling, is that I still have no objections whatsoever to the pair of us getting a permanent separation. It's just that, if Diamond does return home to the loving embrace of her one true family when the month is still not yet up, the proceeding events will be somewhat... different than me leaving for Fillydelphia alone in 'disgrace'."
Pausing to savour the tension of the moment, as well as giving her newest arch-nemesis Starlight a candid smirk, Spoiled carried on describing just how the convoluted plan would work in practice. " Here's what I'm getting at: Although we'll no longer officially be a married couple, I'll still be living in the mansion with the pair of you. This'll mean I'll be able to give My Diamond all the essential life lessons she so clearly needs without galloping between two distant places everyday, and this giant mansion is so big I'll be able to potter about without you even noticing me, if that is as you wish, sweetheart. Of course, you could still change your mind anytime, I'd be more than happy for things to go back to the way they were when you regain your senses. I'll guide you wisely like I've done for so many years, not to mention keep you nice and snug and warm at night..."
"Alright, that's enough of that..." Filthy quickly popped his hooves in his daughter's ears to shield her from the worst of what he suspected her shameless adopted mother might say next, while Twilight was on the verge of hoofpalming herself to oblivion and Starlight began to look around for a nearby bucket to throw up in. "I think we all get the picture without the graphic imagery. There's no need to ruin this child's delicate psyche even more than you have done already, during my many business trips away when I left her in your care... something I regret more and more with every foul word that passes your lips. And I can assure you right now that whatever happens next, I'd sooner sleep on a bed of nails outside in the middle of winter than be within a few inches of you at night, or indeed any time of the day."
"V-Very w-well..." Spoiled continued to feel palpable concern at the unprecedented level of defiance her usually docile spouse was displaying, but dismissed it all as just 'showing off' in front of their guests. "If you really feel this is the point of no return, shall we get down to brass tacks? I may not be used to writing out long, drawn-out, boring contracts with the same level of proficiency as you dear, but I'm sure I could give it a go. Shall the two of us retire to your study and together we can go through all the minute details? If, miracle of miracles, we can actually reach a common understanding and My Diamond over there agrees with our mutual decision, then we'll be all set! Of course, this is something we have to do in private, so Her Majesty and Barfight Slimmer can keep our precious company while we thrash everything out. It'll be good practice for them when they're a sunny, funny family, along with that little beastie who I'm sure is setting fire to the property downstairs even as I speak. I hope he's housetrained, at least. Anyway my dear, shall we depart?"
Spoiled abruptly thrust out her hoof as if expecting her husband to graciously accept it, but to the utter shock of precisely nopony in the room other than perhaps Mrs Rich herself, he swatted it away without hesitation.
"I guess we won't be walking there as a couple..." Spoiled sighed, as her husband briskly strolled past her without so much as a glance back. " Oh well, I suppose it isn't necessary for the job we have to do. I just thought he could be a bit more mature about it, that's all. I guess the age of the gentlecolt really is dead and gone. Anyway, follow behind us please Diamond, Princess and... companion. We'll be as quick as we can, but we can't promise anything as negotiations are sure to be fraught indeed. Especially considering the stubborn mood he's in at the moment. Find something to amuse yourselves with, if you like. But don't play with anything you can't afford to replace. See you soon, luvvies..."
And with a flip of her carefully styled mane and an elevated nose in the hair, Spoiled followed her husband out through the oaken panelled door, leaving those behind nothing to do but gaze numbly at each other in her absence.
"I suppose we better... tag along." Twilight quite helpfully suggested.
"Yeah... I suppose we should." Starlight agreed, albeit somewhat weakly.
"O-Okay..." Diamond Tiara went along with the common consensus, even though she still wasn't exactly sure what was going on and especially where all this endless upheaval to her life would eventually lead.
All that she knew was she was en route to her father's private study, a secluded location which she usually wasn't allowed within a million miles of. If that wasn't odd enough, accompanying her to her left was the region's only princess, and to her right was the mare who'd given birth to her...
...That she'd only known for a few hours, tops.
She might have had stranger days, but she couldn't think of many others right now.
Not for the first time that day, Diamond felt somewhat left in the dark regarding the litany of rapidly unfolding events that were going on all around her.
Her audibly bickering fake mother and father screaming about her future behind a locked door, her only known real parent whispering quietly to Twilight right in front of her, she couldn't help but be a little disgruntled with how the situation was being handled.
As much as I want to see the back of 'mother', the pink filly thought, while frustratedly planting her posterior on the plush carpet, is it really worth the ordeal of staying with a total stranger for an entire month, and one who seems like a bit of a weirdo to hoof? I'm going to demand a read-through of this so-called contract before I even consider such a thing. Surely there must be an easier way to get rid of 'mother', without all this needless hassle. I have to get Daddy alone at the earliest possible opportunity, to discuss everything...
Diamond's anxious eyes found themselves wandering to the mare who was purportedly her real mother, and the curious filly began scrutinising the older pony in great detail... observing the colour of her mane, the facial features, even the way she leant against the wall, for any kind of subtle clue as to whether this sudden revelation about her real heritage held any water whatsoever.
Feeling a pair of young eyes baring down on her frame like a laser, Starlight abruptly stopped her 'secret' conversation with Twilight to glance back at her long-abandoned filly with undisguised nervousness. It took a little nudge from her mentor, and a gentle nod of encouragement for the unicorn to pluck up the strength necessary to communicate her feelings in more than just incoherent grunts or gulps.
"L-Listen..." Starlight stuttered, this time doing her utmost not to make any sudden moves or gestures which might stain a newfound relationship with her freshly rediscovered daughter permanently. "I-I know this must come as a massive shock to you, and I have to confess I'm feeling pretty shook up about everything that's happened as well. But I want you to understand that even though we barely know each other right now, I'll always be here for you, no matter what. If you have any questions, any questions at all, whether they be about the circumstances of your birth or regarding my less-than-perfect past, I swear to answer them truthfully to the best of my ability. I won't keep anything hidden from you, and I expect nothing else in return. B-But if you'll let me, I would love to get to know you, find out about your life, what your hopes and dreams are... and maybe, just maybe, one day we can be friends. D-Do you like the sound of that?"
Diamond considered these heartfelt words carefully, scratching the bottom of her chin while doing so. Finding no trace of deceit or malice in them, it looked as though she was slowly opening her mouth to react. Starlight's heart nearly popped out of her ribcage in anticipation, thinking that this could be the beginning of something very special indeed...
...And then, the door to the study burst open, killing the moment stone dead.
Cursing her luck that Filthy and Spoiled Rich would've chosen that precise second to finish off their deliberations, Starlight nevertheless went to stand alongside Diamond and Twilight as the trio waited patiently to see exactly what had been agreed upon in this supposed contract, and what exactly it would entail afterwards.
The demeanour of both ponies emerging from the small room offered an interesting insight into what'd gone on behind the scenes. Filthy Rich looked as if he'd done a week-long shift without a break. So tired did he appear, with his tie dripping with sweat, it was amazing he possessed the mental fortitude to stand up straight.
Spoiled Rich on the other hoof seemed as fresh as a daisy, confidently holding up a crisp white sheet of paper aloft like it was some kind of peace declaration. The victor of these prolonged talks was clear for everypony to see, and it quite rightly set off alarm bells ringing in the ears of everypony else there.
Uh-oh
"I think we've struck an agreement that will facilitate us all. I especially think you'll be happy with what's on offer, Miss Glimmer. Yes, I finally remembered your name... aren't I the clever one." Spoiled bought back her boa constrictor persona for an unrequested encore, sending shivers down the spine of those gathered. "Now, shall we see if we can dot the i's and cross the t's? That is, if Mr Endurance over there can keep it together long enough to help us out..."
"Roll up, roll up, everypony. Feast your eyes on the marvellous contract we've drawn out together, which I'm sure everypony will absolutely love! Well, I say 'we've' and 'together' when in actual fact it was me who decided on most of the lion's share of the contents. You just sort of stood there in the background dribbling a bit and nodded your head lethargically while I told you what to jot down, didn't you dear? Still, I guess you performed your part admirably enough. You'd make a very nice little secretary you know, if this Barnyard Bargains thing ever falls through! Glad you finally saw things from my perspective, anyway... and all it took was the promise of having my mother come round for a visit to change your mind! Anypony would think she was some kind of ogre, but I must admit: I am somewhat of a pussycat compared to her! Regardless, as you all can clearly see, those are our dual signatures in the bottom right hoof section. Now all that remains is for My Diamond to agree to add her penmanship to the mix, Our Ladyship to declare it official and then Starlight can finally live out the fantasy game of 'happy families' she's harboured for so long! And may I say I just feel so honoured to fulfil..."
"Alright Mrs Rich, I think we get the general gist of what you're saying. Hoof it over so we can analyse everything in minute detail, if you please. I'm sure you won't mind if we don't take your words at face value, because judging by your words and actions today I have to treat this new willingness to grant my student such unfettered access to her birth daughter with a healthy degree of skepticism..."
"Why Princess, you've got me all wrong!! I know we might have got off on the wrong hoof at first, what with me being surprised by the sudden reemergence of Ms Glimmer after so many years of running a sordid equality cult, but now we're all together again I hope we can have a truly constructive relationship! After all, as sure as I am that my precious gem is in safe hooves with your wonderful pupil, I do expect you to keep a close eye on them both. As you've just sadly witnessed, My Diamond can be a bit of a tearaway when her mouth starts running away with itself, and concerning Starlight's less than savoury past..."
"Mrs Rich. I can assure you that whatever happens next, the well-being of and accommodation for Miss Tiara will be dealt with the utmost care. And, you're forgetting that she's now at just the right age to make a lot of those kind of decisions for herself. Frankly, if I may speak off the record a little, some of the things you've said in our five hour-plus meeting have been so shocking, you're lucky that you're being included in this whole process at all. It's only because my hooves are tied by Equestrian parental law that I'm not tearing up this I'm sure highly duplicitous contract this very instant..."
"Oh, my dear! You're not still hung up on that 'you can't do your job properly' comment chain from me, are you? Even though I'm extremely gratified that a royal princess takes my personal opinion so seriously, there's something else you ought to know. Those were hasty words said in the heat of the moment, and expunged from the mouth of a heartbroken mare who's very world was crashing down around her. I'm sure you can appreciate, what with the entire tragic situation regarding me, my husband and our beautiful filly that I may not have been of entirely sound mind when I recanted those spurious remarks. If you can't accept them as the facile ramblings of a devastated wife and mother, then please accept my most humble apologies for any offence caused. After all, nopony has more respect for the monarchy than I..."
"To be honest Mrs Rich, criticism from you is not something I take too seriously, so no apology is needed. The ones you should be begging for forgiveness are your husband and adopted daughter... not only for today's outrage, but from what I understand is years of systematic abuse at your very hooves. So, if you actually have any sort of conscience for potential wrongdoings you may have perpetuated against others, maybe there's a good place to begin."
"W-Well you and I can argue about the true validity of those claims until the mules come home Princess, but right now shall we just concentrate on the paperwork I've carefully prepared? It's all ready for your perusal, just step forward and examine it."
"...Fine, Mrs Rich. I knew it was too good to be true."
"What was that last part, darling?"
"Nothing."
After that somewhat spirited exchange of views, the only item left on the agenda was for Twilight to snatch up the contract proffered by a chillingly confident Spoiled, and study it in great detail. Standing directly behind the princess to read over her shoulder was a equally curious Starlight, leaving poor old Diamond Tiara to jump up and down like a fish on a hook just to try and make out any text at all.
As for poor old Filthy Rich, to say he was currently out for the count would be a gross understatement. The barrage of shouting, caterwauling and outright threats that'd been levied at his non-stop ringing ears was severe even by his obnoxious wife's astronomically high standards, and right now all he wanted to do was collapse in the corner to rest his weary brain. So, that's exactly what he did. Peace, perfect peace.
In the meantime, Twilight unexpectedly turned away from the piece of paper carefully levitated in front of her eyes shortly after receiving it, a deepish frown clearly creasing up her already line-ridden forehead (this princess lark was always going to be hard work, after all).
"Mrs Rich..." she enquired politely, with one eyebrow noticeably raised far more than the other. "May I ask you a question?"
"Why, surely dear!" Spoiled replied innocently, with a voice like honeyed sugar. "I'm always at your complete disposal, you know that! Whatever could the matter be?"
"The 'matter', Mrs Rich..." At this juncture, the alicorn spun the contract around so the front section faced the snooty mare directly "...Is this!!"
Twilight stabbed her hoof towards a third of the words at the bottom, where the writing was so minuscule as to be completely illegible.
"Everything we can read on here presently has already discussed." Twilight growled in annoyance, suspecting not unreasonably another of Spoiled's patented dirty tricks. "Diamond Tiara coming to stay with me for a month. Starlight Glimmer being given complete custody of her for that extenuating period. The consequences if she lasts the course there, or returns to the mansion early. We already know most of that. But this situation is a lot more complicated than just those simple bullet points. I don't know why, but something tells me you're hiding something very important in those tiny paragraphs towards the end..."
"Nonsense, darling!" Spoiled's grinning reassurance carried with it the same level of conviction one might give an alligator asking a bird to use his teeth as a roosting spot. "That's just meaningless jargon, the same kind of small print you'd find on any legally binding document. It's only mumbo jumbo, so don't fret about it!"
Needless to say, Twilight wasn't a complete idiot and so dismissed Spoiled's mightily suspicious pledge offhoof almost immediately. "Even so, before I give this to Diamond Tiara to look at and officially authenticate I'd very much like to get a closer look at these indecipherable passages, please. Perhaps you could go get me a magnifying glass from your husband's study, if you'd be so kind? I didn't bring my spectacles with me today, as I had no idea I'd be involved in such a complex statutory sequence of events. There's no need to rush... we can wait."
The easy way Twilight rejected Spoiled's 'honest' guarantees made Spoiled want to explode with rage there and then, but she wasn't so foolish as to blow a fuse right in front of Ponyville's most esteemed inhabitant. Instead, she glanced over the princess's head and even past the visibly agreeing Starlight to settle her eyes on a still frantically hopping Diamond Tiara, a crafty, nasty plan entering her head. Nopony stops me getting what I want, not even royalty.
"Of course... whatever you say, dear." Spoiled ostentatiously turned around to convey the illusion she was going back into Filthy's office, but doing so at a speed worthy of an inebriated snail. "I should've realised my daughter wouldn't be up to the simple task of obeying a few extra minor rules and regulations. I suppose that's how you can tell she isn't really, properly part of our illustrious family line, because she has to be babied in such a delicate manner by you. Still, at least it just goes to show who'll truly be in control during her extended stay over at Friendship Castle. Such a shame though, that a filly who professes to be a future leader should have so many choices made for her in advance. I never displayed such weakness when I was her age... whenever I faced a challenge, I grabbed it with both hooves without any hesitation and didn't give up till I'd won. Maybe I should've been the one with the tiara symbol, if she's going to grow up to be the sort of mare who buckles under the slightest pressure and leaves all of her big decisions in the hooves of others. Just like her pathetic, worthless father. So sad. So very sad..."
"Give that to me! I'll show you who's 'weak'!!" All throughout Spoiled's decisive evisceration of her character and cutie mark talent, Diamond had been getting more and more angry. Her pink coat had inexplicably turned a nice palette of scarlet, while nostrils flared and her hooves began to stamp the floor in pure agitation.
What really set her off though, was the cutting final remark about her cherished father. Upon hearing yet more unbelievably disrespectful jibes about her revered male parental figure, Diamond knew she had to act quickly. No way was she going to let Spoiled be proven right, that she was just some pitiful wimp who couldn't tolerate anything that her fake mother could throw at her. I'll show her! I'll show them all!
So, without a further thought, the irascible pink filly leaped higher in the air then she'd ever climbed before, to snatch up both the paperwork from a surprised Twilight and a inked quill that Spoiled had 'conveniently' dropped on the ground.
Completely ignoring the frenetic cries of Twilight and an anxious Filthy, who although exhausted was desperately trying to drag himself over to his 'daughter' to stop her, she had no scruples whatsoever in signing her name next to his and Spoiled's...
...Which of course, is exactly what the older mare wanted her to do.
Ignoring her husband's murmured sobs in the background of "What have you done." Spoiled wasted no time at all in rushing over to her 'daughter', scooping up the now completely filled in document from her hooves while simultaneously giving her the iciest of smiles.
"That's a good girl. You know it makes sense." The smug mare purred happily, before turning to a pensive Twilight in triumph. "There we go, Princess. You can keep this contract safe for us now, to demonstrate that I have absolute faith in our ruling classes. I think you'll find that it adheres to all facets of Equestrian law and order, including all the witnesses present. As you so rightfully said, My Diamond is at that precocious age when she can make these kind of decisions for herself, so her signature on this contract is just as valid as mine and my darling husband's. You also saw for yourself that she signed this paper completely of her own free will and volition. The rules and regulations set out on there can therefore not be challenged by anypony now for the next thirty days, even by you. Do you understand everything I am saying dear, or would you like me to go over it again?"
"If there's anything on there that might put her physical health or mental state in danger..." Twilight seethed, clutching at straws. "...I hope you know that whatever you've scribbled down will be completely null and void."
"Oh Princess, do you really think I'd try to pull anything like that?!" Spoiled laugh at the slightest implication she'd be capable of such a thing. "I have big plans for My Diamond in the future, and causing her any unnecessary suffering would hinder those intentions irreparably. Now, it just so happens I've just found another version of the official document in my back pocket that I made out for the Rich family's personal archives, where everything is the same except for the fact that it's all written in large-size font! What are the chances I'd forget about that, eh? Anyway, please congregate in a semi-circle around me, and you'll find out exactly what else lies in store..."
With little option but to obey, the quartet of nervous onlookers shuffled forward to read which unrevealed clauses were being proposed in the next month, with varying degrees of enthusiasm afterwards.
What was written down was of no great surprise to Filthy Rich, who's main reaction was one of disgust at himself for being brow-beaten yet again by his dreadful wife... and this time, it couldn't have come at a more crucial moment. As for the rest of the crew:
Starlight Glimmer was utterly delighted!
Twilight Sparkle was a little confused.
And Diamond Tiara...
Well, she was completely horrified. Her reckless impulsiveness had cost her dearly.
Diamond Tiara had always wanted to visit the Friendship Castle. She'd already been inside Princess Twilight's previous treehouse home and was not impressed at all, despite her expertly faked enthusiasm on the day, and was eager to see what the alicorn's new upgraded digs were like.
The thought of touring such a prestigious building really appealed to her sense of glamour and celebrity, alas without any official business there she dared not venture anywhere near the crystalline structure, and despite bountiful nagging sessions to mean ol' Miss Cheerilee, her teacher refused to organise a class trip there as "The Princess Is Always Busy".
Now as it turned out, she was actually going to be living there for an extended period, thirty-one days or thereabouts. Just that very morning, she would've been absolutely cock-a-hoop at the mere notion of spending a surprise holiday at such a distinguished, luxurious address, which even eclipsed her own humungous mansion for sheer size.
So many beds to bounce on, such an abundance of bannisters to slide down, so many rooms to explore... and if Daddy could take a break from his heavy workload to accompany her and Spoiled would do the decent thing for once by staying far, far away, this vacation might start verging on perfection itself.
Alas, circumstances being what they were, Diamond wasn't particularly looking forward to being the 'guest of honour' at the royal citadel at all. Especially as she'd be spending most of her time with somepony who she regarded, up until now, as a certifiable nutcase.
Still, she was a Rich, and Rich's 'just ain't quitters at all', as her real father would say. She was Diamond by name, and Diamond by nature: hard on the inside, and impenetrable on the outside. She'd lick this little obstacle no sweat, then it would be just her and Daddy all alone forever more, and she'd never have to see Spoiled Milk ever again when the repulsive mare took her long awaited one-way ticket back to Fillydelphia. She'd be at the train station to see Spoiled off of course, but the mood would be one of celebration, not misery.
Even with all the awkward stuff her dreadful stepmother had sneaked onto that darn contract, the confident filly was positive she could cope with whatever setbacks life might throw at her in the next few weeks. The gratifying sight of Spoiled, looking all depressed and forlorn as the locomotive ground to a halt, knowing that her way of life was coming to an end and it was a return to milking cows and making cottage cheese for a living for her, was worth the price of admission alone.
All Diamond had to do was grit her teeth and survive the unwanted administrations of her obsessed birth mother for a short period of time, then she was home free (in more ways than one). Speaking of which...
"Are you comfortable up there, darling? Is there anything I can do for you?"
"...Yes, Ms Glimmer. No, Ms Glimmer."
"Pardon me? I think somepony forgot to call me by my proper name. So, let's try that again... shall we, dear?"
"... I'm fine, 'Mom'."
"Now, that's much better. I understand it might take a while to get used to thinking me as your new mother, which is why we should try to practice these things early on. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to having you around! I mean, as much as I adore your Uncle Spike and Auntie Twilight, they do spend lots of time together and sometimes I feel a bit left out. Now that I have my own daughter back though, I'm sure the pair of us will never feel alone ever again! I've got so much to tell you, teach you, show you... oh, I simply have to introduce you to Trixie! She's not going to believe it when I tell her..."
"Can't we just talk about all this later, please? In case you hadn't noticed, 'Auntie' and 'Uncle' are already well out of sight on the path in front of us. Also, don't forget... this is only for the next month, and as soon as that's over I'll be back to living at Rich Mansion. Whether we stay in contact after that, I just don't know."
"Y-Yes, of course, darling. That decision will be entirely up to you, and by the end of it I hope to prove that I can be the parental figure that you truly deserve, after all the suffering you must've gone through. Fancy me leaving you all alone with that monster and her never-there husband for the best part of a decade! What on Equestria was I thinking?! Time for a fresh start for both of us, I say. I realise it'll be tough at first, but I firmly believe with all my heart, that if you give me a chance..."
"I appreciate all the effort you're making so that I feel special 'Mom', but right now I have to admit, you're making me just a little uncomfortable. We've barely met after all, and the first thing you did was drag me along with magic, so it's a little premature to assume..."
"You're right, you're absolutely right. Maybe I am rushing things a tad. It's just that I've been waiting for this day for such a long time, so you'll have to forgive me for going a little overboard! I'll quieten down a bit, but you can't expect me to stem the flow of happiness which is running through me now! One day, when you have fillies or colts of your own, I hope you understand what I mean."
"While I'm glad you're pleased with seeing me for the first time in years after you left me behind 'Mom', and I honestly want us to have some kind of a relationship, it's going to take a while for me to adjust to having you around, so let's take it easy for now, shall we? In the meantime, we better get a move on. It'll soon be pitch black, and Luna isn't going to wait for us 'til she raises the Moon, you know..."
"... And I've just remembered: Twilight locks the castle up after a certain hour, and I don't want to be stuck outside in the rain again! You think she'd make an exception for her personal student, but you'd be sorely mistaken. Hold on tight to my mane darling, I'm about to cast a spell which should give us a little burst of speed..."
"W-Wait. I'm not saying you're incapable of that feat 'Mom', because word around town is that you're quite the magician. But don't you think that's just a little drastic, considering we're only about a mile from..."
"No time for hesitation, dear! One thing you'll quickly learn about me is when I make a decision, I stick to it. Well, apart from the choices I made to remove everypony's cutie marks and wipe Auntie Twilight's friendships from existence, but maybe it was for the best that I didn't follow through with those. This is the incantation's maiden voyage too, I'm so excited! I've been waiting for just the right occasion to try it out, and I can think of no better moment than with my own flesh and blood here to witness it firsthoof! Brace yourself..."
"W-What?! E-Er, actually I've just noticed, it's quite a nice evening. I-I think I'll just climb off your back now and walk the rest of the way, if it's all the same to you. No offens..." WHOOSH!
Spike and Twilight, having said goodnight to their other friends and having a genial conversation about something or other a thousand yards on the road ahead, suddenly found themselves bowled over like tenpins as a pinkish blur suddenly careened past them at a pace almost worthy of a double Rainboom.
Standing up to dust themselves off after the breakneck phenomenon had passed, they were in doubt as to the identity of the culprit... and for a change, it wasn't Dash being reckless as usual.
"You'd think after hypnotising all of her friends into submission, swapping Luna and Celestia's cutie marks over and almost causing armageddon, Starlight would be a little more careful with her magic..." Spike frowned in annoyance, making sure the precious parchment he carried with the princess's weekly itinerary on it wasn't ripped or smudged as a result of his unforeseen stumble. "Still, at least Diamond now has a taste of what to expect from the next few weeks. This ought to be interesting..."
"Now Spike, you shouldn't treat the period Miss Tiara will be staying with us like some kind of intriguing diversion. They're both going to need supervision in their interaction, especially early on, and this important task can't be treated with casual disregard. " Twilight gently chastised her favourite dragon, as she observed Starlight's accelerated form rush off with a screaming filly on top clinging on for dear life. "When I'm not around to oversee things between the two, it'll be up to you alone to steady the ship. Can I rely on you to help me out, once more? I know it's a lot to ask, especially as it may cut into your free time. If it's too much of a problem, just say the word..."
"H-Hey. Look at who you're talking to, the guy who saved an entire Empire from destruction and successfully helped negotiate long-lasting peace between ponykind and Changelings." Spike grinned nervously, sounding a lot more confident than he actually felt when it came to dealing with troublesome family reunions. If it was up to him, he'd jettison this 'ship' at the earliest possible opportunity... but he couldn't let Twilight or his new friend Starlight down. "It'll be a piece of jewel cake, you just wait and see. You know you can always count on good ol' Spike..."
"Oh, thank you so much! What did I ever do to deserve such a humble, selfless dragon?" Twilight beamed from ear to ear, and wrapped Spike up affectionately in her wings, giving him a warm hug. "I know Starlight would welcome an extra pair of claws around the place, too. I also have some books on filly-rearing in the depths of the library, that I never thought I'd get the chance to use. Do you fancy having a quick look at them on our return, so you know what you're 'up against'?"
"S-Sure Twi, if you think it'll help..." Even after all these years, it took but a simple pleading look from his best friend to get him to cave in, and he snuggled against her feathers blissfully. "...But I was thinking more in terms of how Starlight is going to handle all of this. I mean, you've already seen how intense she can be when she gets really excited, and with all of these new rules she can use..."
"Hmm, yes it is rather odd that Spoiled Rich would suddenly allow Starlight to have so much freedom with Diamond..." Twilight mused, her wide smile fading rapidly upon hearing the dragon reference the small print at the end of the now official contract. "I can't even begin to imagine why she'd not only allow Starlight to take her 'daughter' away, but give her all this extra leeway to hoof in terms of what she can do. I'm sure there's got to be a hidden catch somewhere, Spoiled wouldn't just give up on her 'prize possession' without a fight. You and I will have to stay extra vigilant until we figure out..."
Twilight's protracted brooding was interrupted unexpectedly by a loud snore, and she glanced down to see Spike fast asleep in the midst of her plumage, breathing peacefully while little smoke rings rose arbitrarily from his nostrils. The long day at both the spa followed by the trip to Rich Mansion had taken much out of the baby dragon, with the lengthy stroll back to the castle the final straw regarding his ability to keep himself tethered to the waking world.
Upon seeing this, Twilight shook her head with a knowing smirk, before carefully positioning the snoozing reptile onto her neck for the rest of the short journey home. "I keep forgetting you're still a child yourself, too..." The alicorn mused, as she proceeded at a noticeably slower rate than her super-quick unicorn protege. "With all that you've achieved in your short life so far, no wonder. We'll talk more about this in the morning, right now I need my number one assistant to be up bright and breezy in the morning, so it's straight to bed with you once we get inside. Pleasant dreams, Spike."
And with that final remark, the alicorn set off for her castle without further delay... where she was about to encounter a very finicky Starlight needing to use the bathroom something awful, while an agitated Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes in exasperation nearby. The flustered unicorn might not be locked outside that night, but she was beginning to wish she'd at least asked for a spare key at some point since her arrival in Ponyville.
Not only would it make her feel like she'd truly earned her mentor's full trust, it might also prevent any 'accidents' when she needed to empty her bladder desperately in the future. After all, it's not like she could go anywhere on the ground.
For goodness sake, what was she... an animal?!
................................................
You'd expect Spoiled, having witnessed the temporary departure of her number one project for fame and recognition, to be at least mildly upset, but you couldn't have been more wrong.
In fact, she almost seemed in a jovial mood, as she sipped straight from a bottle of Filthy's 'strictly out of bounds' favourite white wine, while mumbling incoherently to herself: "Fools... they can't see the bigger pictures... threaten me in my own home would they... trying to take what's mine... I'll show 'em! I'll show them all!" HICCUP!
After Diamond's tearful farewell with her father, which resulted in the devastated stallion galloping upstairs as soon as she departed, Spoiled was quite put out when the most emotion she received from the exiting filly was a slight growl and a pair of narrowed blue eyes, before the youngster left with her head held high, not looking back even once.
That ungrateful little... after everything I did for her! Spoiled snorted drunkenly, while swilling down the last of the fortified liquid. Still, I can't completely blame My Diamond for her unforgivable conduct of late. It's those three little runts who turned her against me, along with their interfering sisters! Now, with the reappearance of that damned unicorn, things just keep getting more and more complicated. Even my own marriage may be at stake! Well, not if I have anything to say in the matter! Time to call in an old favour..."
And with that final cryptic thought, Spoiled proceeded to smash the empty glass bottle into the middle of the roaring fireplace, while staggering over to a nearby writing desk to grab a piece of paper and a quill. Having dipped the latter in a pot of ink, she then proceeded to begin writing a letter to a certain someone in her best cursive... well, as good as one can scrawl when they're half-inebriated, anyway.
How are you? How is your family? Now that the mindless chit-chat is out of the way, let's get down to business. You may not even remember me, but as sure as heck I remember you! I see, I'm Filthy Rich's wife, and I have a bit of a problem...
Inside the chamber known as Diamond Tiara's bedroom, the current occupant was presently in an advanced state of motion. She tossed and turned constantly, tying herself up in knots between the sheets, while desperately clutching onto something soft and cuddly at her side.
"Oh, Pennyworth! You won't believe the horrible nightmare I had last night. Thank Celestia it's all over now, and things can just return to normal. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here, you don't say very much but just cuddling you up close makes me feel a million times better... huh?! Since when did you start wearing underwear?"
Diamond's eyelids immediately sprung open, and she was greeted by a most troubling sight. Instead of her usual gargantuan sleeping quarters, the flummoxed filly instead found herself in a far more modestly sized accommodation. It wasn't exactly small, but compared to the scale of what she was used to, this was little more than a storage closet.
Another undeniably creepy aspect of this mysterious location she now inhabited was the fact there seemed to be multiple other Diamond Tiaras in residence as well, staring at her with trepidation under the covers of a bed very much like the one she... wait a sec.
Under closer inspection, the many miniature doppelgängers of the pink filly turned out to be copious reflections cast within the structure of a crystalline wall, so at least she could state with a degree of certainty she hadn't been abducted at the behest of some kind of radical cloning program. Not that a wretched replica could ever capture her true beauty and sparkling personality, it was the principal of the thing, that's all.
Initially taken aback by her unfamiliar, unknown location, Diamond suddenly recalled the main reason behind her discomfiture upon awakening in the first place: Pennyworth's new item of clothing. She glanced down with an audible gulp, wondering what the next shock on the menu could be on this most bewildering of mornings...
...Only to find that her precious penguin stuffed animal with the monocle and top hat wasn't there at all, for it had been replaced by an imposter. She'd no idea who this brazen trespasser was, but she'd never seen it before and it certainly didn't look like any toy she'd ever owned... or want to, for that matter.
It was an ugly specimen indeed, resembling an aged grey mule with a tatty mane hanging forlornly around it's sagging head. One eye was missing, while the other hung on (quite literally) by a thread. There were patches sown everywhere just to keep the filling from spilling out, and just like Diamond had already noticed, it sported a rather unattractive pair of spotted undergarments around it's legs.
Unable to cope with all of these surreal and odd sights all hitting her at once, the loss of her nighttime confidante was more or less the final straw for the panicking filly. She took a deep breath, before unleashing a scream of such volume and ferocity that it seemed to shake the entire foundations around her.
Fortunately, before the entire room could collapse under the force of Diamond's shrill hysteria, help was on the way. The stressed filly hadn't even heard the new arrival enter the room over the sound of her own caterwauling, but it wasn't too long before she found herself snared in a comforting glow and levitated up into the air, while being deposited into the welcoming hooves of a empathic mare.
"Shhh, everything is going to be okay. I know just how you feel: when I was a filly and I woke up in a strange place, I would start getting a bit anxious, too. Not that I was invited to many sleepovers, but still..."
Diamond didn't know the identity of this female pony, still recovering as she was from the trauma of finding herself who-knows-where with weirdness all around her, but she did appreciate the soothing voice and gentle words of solace.
Spoiled would never have held me or tried to calm me down like this Diamond mused, while unconsciously letting out a blissful sigh. Her only response would've been to tell me to 'get lost', while her mud pack dried. If I have been kidnapped and am being held here for ransom, maybe I don't ever want to be rescued...
Unable to hold back her suspense any longer, the now placated Diamond found her eyes panning upwards to see the identity of her embracer. She didn't know why, but there was something oddly familiar about that coat and Cutie Mark. The horn and wings were a little distracting too...
Wait... horn and wings?! Immediately, everything else around the filly faded into irrelevance and her entire attention was focused on the smiling visage regarding her with mild amusement a few inches away.
"P-Princess T-Twilight?!" An awed Diamond stuttered, unsure whether to faint or curtsy. As it was, she just lie there enmeshed in the royal's plumage, her jaw uncontrollably flapping as the all-too-real flashbacks from the previous night came flooding into her head.
"I'm sorry Starlight isn't here to attend to you..." Twilight told the gibbering filly with a slight eye roll. "She always sleeps in on a Saturday, no exceptions. You'd think she'd make more of an effort the day her long-lost daughter comes to stay with us, but apparently not. Also, for future reference, you don't have to stand to attention whenever I come in the room. I'm not that kind of Princess, and neither are any of the others, as far as I know. Now, how are you liking my..."
She stopped talking momentarily to peruse the room, before apparently finding what she was looking for in the furthest corner. It was the grotesque doll Diamond had woken up with, that she'd subsequently thrown as far away as she could in the midst of her mini-fit.
Frowning a little upon seeing the abandoned, bedraggled toy, Twilight also picked it up with her magic to place it side-by-side alongside Diamond, while telling the confused filly a few things. "This was my favourite doll as a filly, she helped me through some very tough times when I had nopony to talk to at school and my parents were busy. I put her in your room last night after Starlight tucked you in because I thought the two of you might get on, but I can understand if you don't. She's a bit past her prime I must admit, though it was hard enough to get her back from Big Mac..."
Not wanting to upset the Princess on top of everything else she was dealing with right now, Diamond struggled to conjure up anything complimentary to say. "U-Umm... I like her... pants?!
It seemed to do the trick, as Twilight unexpectedly broke out of her slight funk to smile down with gratitude at the filly. "Thank you, I thought so too." the alicorn said pleasantly, while ruffling the youngster's mane. "In fact, that's even part of her name... 'Smarty Pants'. Because she's smart just like me, and she wears pants! Clever, don't you think? Even as a foal, I was very inventive!"
"U-Uh, yeah... sure." Diamond replied, quite unsure how to respond to that. She looked around the room once more with curiosity, wondering how she was going to cope for the next month when everything here seemed so foreign. "P-Princess, i-if it's not too much trouble, c-could I have some of my stuff..."
"Remember, it's just 'Twilight', not 'Princess'. And of course you can, in fact I'll be heading back down to Rich Mansion myself this morning to pick them up!" Twilight guessed easily what the filly was about to request. "Obviously, you can't join me as per the conditions of the contract, but if you want you can write me a list of things to get and I'll do my best to bring back everything I can find! Now, shall we make your bed? After all, good organisation costs nothing!"
"B-But I've never done such a thing before!" Diamond stuttered upon hearing this, as she glanced back at her mattress as if it was a huge mountain she had to climb. "U-Usually one of the maids takes care of that, while I'm downstairs eating breakfast. Y-You're a princess, surely you have at least a few servants living here with you! L-Like that tiny dragon, for instance..."
Twilight's earlier frown was as nothing as compared to the deep grimace she pulled at that precise moment, and she gently dropped Diamond onto the floor before giving her a mini-lecture. "First of all, don't ever let Spike hear you say that... he'll grow much bigger one day, but for now his height is very much a sore spot for him. Secondly, in no way, shape or form is he my 'servant'. He might be my number one assistant, but his value to me is so much more than that. Don't you have a close friend, who by simply being in their presence helps lift your mood and gives you the strength to face whatever challenges come your way?"
"U-Um, s-something like that..." Images of a grey filly with glasses and a long white ponytail began to play in Diamond's mind. Celestia knows what Silver Spoon would think of everything going on right now. "B-But I thought... I-I mean, S-Spoiled said..."
If it hadn't hurt so much the last time she did it, Twilight would've hoofpalmed there and then. "Well, there's your problem, I think. If you don't mind me saying so, Mrs Rich isn't exactly the first pony I'd look to for an unbiased view on someone she's always denigrating as a mere 'reptile'. I could tell you about all the amazing things Spike's done in his short life that make him far, far more important than a simple 'servant', but I think I'll let him fill you in on all that himself. Be careful though, sometimes he gets a little too chatty about past glories, and I don't want him to neglect his other duties. Now, I'll show you how to make your own bed, so that next time you can do it for yoursel... AARGH!! What is that?!"
Diamond's contemplative mood was shattered by Twilight pointing with alarm at the spot on the sheet where she'd been napping until recently, and there, large as life, was a large wet patch with obvious implications behind it.
The humiliated filly's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at this unbelievable occurrence. "W-What?! T-That can't be... I-I mean, I haven't... e-ever since I was..."
"Well, judging by the smell, I don't think it's sweat..." Twilight wrinkled her nose a bit, before realising her big mistake. She was talking to a small child who'd just spent the first night away from home after being taken away from the family she'd known all of her life. Under those trying circumstances, it was perfectly natural something like this might happen.
"Listen, Diamond..." Twilight said sympathetically to the snivelling filly, pulling her close with her wings. "I'm so so sorry for overreacting there, I'm just not used to dealing with this kind of situation and said the first things that came into my head. Don't be embarrassed, I'm sure a lot of other fillies do this at your age when they feel under a lot of stress. We'll exchange your sheet later on for a plastic one, and we won't say anything else about it. Please don't cry, I don't want Starlight to see you all upset on your first day here. It's not a big deal, really."
Diamond, about to turn on the waterworks and really launch herself into a major crying marathon, was somewhat reassured by the insistently kind words of the alicorn. "R-Really?!"
"Really really." Twilight nodded her confirmation with a large smile. "I want you to enjoy your time here as much as possible, even under these difficult conditions. I know Starlight can be a bit much with all the mollycoddling she's giving you right now, and I also saw how much it annoyed you every time she made you call her 'Mum' last night. You have to understand though, that she's been looking forward to seeing you again for years, and so her over-enthusiasm can easily be put down to that. If you'd like me to, I can have a quiet word with her to try and get her to cut down on some of the more over-the-top things she says and does, before you're fully settled in. Would you like that?"
"M-Maybe..." Diamond sniffled, while wiping away a stray tear. It was the only one which had appeared, luckily enough. "Thank you, Prin... I mean, Twilight!"
"See, you're doing better already! You didn't stammer that time! And, you even remembered my proper name!" Twilight complimented the suddenly cheerier filly. "I'll take care of the rest of this later, when Spike starts the laundry. For now, shall we..."
The rest of Twilight's sentence there was going to be 'go downstairs and eat, while waiting for Starlight', but having just noticed Diamond's damp flank and put two and two together, immediately changed her plans.
"... Run you a nice hot bath?" Those ominous last few words from the alicorn made Diamond's ears prick up and a shiver run down her spine, and she instinctively made a bolt for underneath her bed.
"Oh no, you don't!" Twilight hated to force the issue, but she couldn't have the retreating filly trotting around all day stinking like a latrine, so with little other option she lifted up Diamond from her hidey-hole once more with the power of magic and proceeded to quickstep her straight to the bathroom.
Struggle as she might, Diamond couldn't form a single dent in the powerful aura that now consumed her, her only release being the inevitable plunge into hot water, saturation by frothy bubbles and the pressure of a hard bar of soap being scrubbed here, there and everywhere.
"Doob-be-doo, Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beauteous day, my daughter has been returned to me, and she'll be here to ssttaayy." Having just awoken from her usual extended Saturday snooze and further bolstered by the long-awaited return of her absent progeny, it was safe to say Starlight Glimmer was in rather an upbeat mood.
The fact she was singing off key and dancing around like a loon didn't bother her at all, as all sorts of wonderful plans for the future came brimming into her head about the shared activities they could do together: First of all, I'll take her to see my old village, who knows how Double Diamond will react when he finds out about his lost child. Then, we'll have a nice day out with Trixie, maybe take along some cinnamon nuts for the ride. Afterwards, we'll visit the new peaceful Changeling kingdom, do some fruit painting, and...
"Ahem!" Starlight's joyous frolicking was suddenly cut short by the unexpected arrival of her mentor, who'd somehow managed to sneakily open and close her pupil's bedroom door undetected and observe the unicorn's flamboyant display for a number of minutes with wry amusement.
Deciding that enough was enough though, Twilight had taken it upon herself to inform her student of the alicorn's presence... which sadly came in the middle of an improvised pirouette by the prancing pony in front of her.
Oof. Down went Starlight, landing flat on her back as her amazingly professional choreography finally came to a rather anti-climatic denouement. She stared listlessly up at herself in the reflective ceiling for a moment, before the royal cause of her undignified tumble hovered over her with a sheepish grin.
"Sorry to disturb your, um, 'exercises'..." Twilight hauled up Starlight with her hooves, thinking that using her magic in this delicately poised situation would be a little too impersonal. "...But I have a few things I'd like to discuss with you before you go downstairs this morning, if it's not too much trouble."
"I-I was just rehearsing the ritual for a new spell I'm working on." Starlight explained none-too-convincingly, while attempting to compose herself as best she could. "F-First of all, you bend like this, then you twist like this, before shaking it all about... S-Sunburst taught it to me the last time I was in the Crystal Empire with him! I-It's top secret stuff you know, so I can't tell you much else. V-Very hush-hush..."
"It's okay... you don't have to lie or make excuses for my sake. I totally 'get' why you'd be in such high spirits around now, and I apologise for not knocking first." Twilight had evidently decided that her pupil was embarrassed enough at being 'caught in the act' as it were, and decided not to linger on the issue any further. "Anyway, I think you know what I'm here concerning. Or rather, who. You see, I've just had to give your daughter a bath, because she wet the bed last night..."
"What?! Then I must go to her at once!!" All of Starlight's arrant feelings of humiliation were snuffed out upon hearing this news, and her newfound maternal instincts seemed to kick in as she made a break for the door. "Whatever could the matter with the little dear be?! I should've let her sleep with me on her first night here, oh how could I be so thoughtless?"
"...Actually, I have a pretty good idea as to why she did it, and it was nothing to do with your absence. If anything, coming on too strong might've made the incident even worse." She'd been trying to hold back, but Twilight finally gave into the temptation of using her horn, and Starlight found herself moving her hooves a lot in mid-air but not really getting anywhere. "In fact, that's really what I wanted to..."
"You still could've told me, before dumping her in the tub!" the unicorn wailed from her lavender aura 'prison', as she floated helplessly around. "I'm her mother! I should be learning to do those sort of things! How am I supposed to take responsibility for my daughter, if you're taking over my main duties? In the future, could you please let me deal with stuff like that?"
"B-But you were so fast asleep, even the roar of a Ursa Major wouldn't have... sigh, never mind." Twilight was much too exhausted after getting up early to arrange her portfolio for the weekend and washing a rapidly squirming filly to argue any further, so she decided to let this one go for now. "The point is, and Diamond told me this herself, maybe you're moving things a bit too fast with her. Don't you remember what we discussed at Rich Mansion? That we should approach the situation with a little more tact? After all, you don't want to alienate your daughter at this early stage by pushing too hard, do you?"
Twilight's words had the ring of truth about them, and as Starlight was gently deposited back onto the ground, the unicorn's face seemed to concede that point. "Y-You're right, Twilight. I've been so busy singing and dancing here, thinking about what I want to do with her and who I'm going to show her off to, I completely forgot about how difficult this whole experience must be for her. She has to be absolutely terrified, spending the night in a strange new place and finding out the family she knew about for all those years weren't her real family at all. Once again, you've talked me down from making a complete fool of myself. Just what would I do without you?"
Twilight blushed a little upon hearing Starlight's heartfelt praise, and she looked away in a vain attempt to appear impassive. "Y-You don't have to shower me with compliments Starlight, I'm just trying to help out a friend. The pony you should really be attending to is downstairs right now, freshly dried and bored out of her mind from hearing Spike's life story on repeat. You can only hear the same 'modest' tales about saving a nation and changing the fate of a species so many times, you know. So, why don't you get yourself ready and join us? I think sharing a meal together would be a good initial step in beginning your relationship on the right hoof."
"Yes, yes, of course..." Starlight quickly dashed off to her mirror, to make sure she was properly presentable for her first big day with her long-abandoned filly. "...Also, I know you're good with lists, so allow me to run this one by you, about my conduct from now on. I won't try to force her into doing activities with me she doesn't want to do, I'll back off if I think she looks a bit too uncomfortable, I shan't mention what happened to her this morning seeing as how you've fully taken care of it... do those sound like decent starting points?"
"I would say those sound like very sound choices, if you want to make her feel more at home..." Twilight nodded her approval at the unicorn's suggestions, finally hopeful that her until now quite overzealous student was getting how sensitive the current climate was. "Don't forget, this is a completely fresh start for her, and whatever you do between now and the end of the month could possibly impact how she perceives you forever. Have patience with her, try to establish her needs and requirements, try to plant a nurturing seed for the future. Remember to make sure the soil is fertile..."
"Okay, Twilight. I think I get it. Thank you." As much as Starlight appreciated the advice of her alicorn friend, she did occasionally have a tendency to stretch out her weird metaphors. "I shall finish up here, and be there for breakfast as soon as I can. And I promise: no more amateur vaudeville today, you have my solemn word. Well, to business then!"
With nothing more than a simple nod and a slight smile, Twilight left the unicorn to her own devices to prepare for the no doubt testy day that lay ahead. At last, she's starting to understand, thought the optimistic alicorn as she descended the stairs one at a time, I knew she had it in her to be a serviceable parent. I'll still keep a close eye on her in the meantime though, and I'll tell Spike to do the same. Speaking of him, I better make sure Diamond hasn't fallen asleep head-first into her cereal. My number one assistant might be an invaluable part of my life, but he can't half waffle on sometimes.
As Twilight's somewhat hypocritical musings followed her to the ground floor, Starlight began to go through the motions of brushing her striped mane... but then abruptly stopped. Something Twilight had mentioned was nagging at her brain, and upon a bit of deliberation she figured out what it was.
"How can my daughter have a 'fresh start', if I never even got the chance to..." she said aloud, while staring back seriously at herself in the mirror. "...That she's still known by the moniker that awful, horrible, abusive mare gave to her..."
Suddenly, a 'wonderful' idea hit her like a ton of bricks. A truly ingenious plan, which would make everything alright and allow her filly to forge a new identity for herself, to separate the youngster from her less-than-perfect past and truly make the 'fresh start' Twilight had suggested.
The only real question was, whether she could do it or not...
Now, where did I put my copy of the contract again?
Fortunately, Twilight had got downstairs just in time to prevent the towel-wrapped Diamond from having a very milky hairdo for the day. Uncle Spike had just reached the gripping part in his adventures where he'd bravely stood up in front of Cadance, Shining Armour and the entire palace guard to regale them in song form about Thorax's true nature, when Twilight had taken it upon herself to cram a few loose gems in his mouth via magic. Not that the hungry drake had minded too much... you can never have enough of the good stuff, after all.
"Are you feeling okay, Diamond?" Twilight trotted over to where a visibly drowsy filly sat in front of her uneaten food, as the filly was still attempting to digest all the events of that morning and the preceding evening before even attempting to do the same with her meal.
"H-Huh? Oh, yes. I-I suppose so..." Diamond's eyes shot open upon hearing Twilight's voice, and she straightened up in her chair. "I-I just started to feel tired again, for some reason."
"Well, I can't say I really blame you. Spike does like to draw out his exploits a bit sometimes when we have company..." Twilight gave her devoted assistant an affectionate glance, to which he only responded with a pronounced scowl before swallowing his jawful of jewels. "Anyway, you'll be glad to know I've had a little talk with your mo... with Starlight, and I genuinely think she sees that she may have been a little too indiscreet with her administrations yesterday, and she'll try to reign them in from now on. Until you get settled in of course, and grow more comfortable with her being around."
"T-Thank you, Twilight." Diamond was grateful for the alicorn's help, even if she used a few too many long words to describe simple things. Maybe one of the items she'd request the princess bring her from home later on would be a dictionary. "I-I want to be happy here, even if everything seems strange to me now. I-It'll take a lot of getting used to, but I hope over the next few weeks, with all of your support and Daddy's, I'll be able to..."
"You can count on me, Sparkling! I'll be there for you whenever you're good and ready, all you have to do is say the word!" Starlight made a startling entrance, wandering over to the table and sitting down gleefully in front of the three other occupants with an air of confidence about her.
"That's great to hear Starlight... but, who's Sparkling?!" Twilight and Spike looked around the room in confusion while Diamond gazed pensively at the mare who claimed to be her real mother. She had a really bad feeling about this.
"Why, that's my daughter's new first name!" Starlight grinned happily at this sudden announcement, as if everypony should be happy that she'd taken this impulsive initiative. "It never sat right with me that Spoiled got the chance to name my daughter when she lied from the beginning about her personal circumstances, and when I found out how she mistreated my filly over so many years, as far as I'm concerned she lost that privilege. I looked through the contract as signed by us, and what do you know... it gives me carte blanche to give my child a 'fresh start' by removing the last trace of her terrible past, which would only serve as a reminder of everything terrible she's been through, after all! So, starting from today, she'll be known as... Sparkling Glimmer! What do you think about that, sweetheart?!"
...And that's how Diamond Tiara came to be known by a quite unusual new name.
It's also how you reduce a room with a chewing dragon, a chattery know-it-all and a boisterous filly to utter silence.
In case anyone ever wants to try it sometime, of course.
Starlight Glimmer, seemingly unaware of the giant-sized stink she'd just caused in the dining room, was now busy rummaging around the kitchen. She tutted in disappointment while removing each product in turn from the packed shelves inside, and it was here that a mildly seething Twilight Sparkle found her: surrounded by numerous tin cans and cardboard boxes as if in the process of constructing a miniature fort.
"I already knew that Trixie ate all the cinnamon nut flakes the last time she popped down for one of her 'surprise' visits..." Starlight remarked with agitation, as if sensing the presence of the alicorn without even turning around. "...But I thought at the very least she'd leave me some small traces of muesli. Honestly Twi, I'll never be able to repay that showmare for being one of my first real friends since moving to Ponyville, but I swear, she can be so selfish and thoughtless sometimes."
"S-She can be, w-what?!" Twilight was somewhat overwhelmed by the apparent hypocritical irony of Starlight's last statement, and she almost choked on her own words. "D-Do you have any idea what you just did in there yourself?!"
"I know, isn't it fabulous?" Starlight spun about with a wide grin on her face, ready now to bathe in the expected aftermath of her unparalleled triumph. "I've finally taken the first steps in casting my filly adrift from the wretchedness that is the Rich family. From what I heard at that mansion, they've never been anything but neglectful and abusive to my daughter. We already know all about Spoiled's disgusting treachery, but for such a highly respected business stallion, I'd have thought Filthy would've had more sense than to leave her in the hooves of that hook-nosed monster! Anyway, as they say, all that's in the past now. Do we have any porridge left over?"
"Forget the porridge!!" Twilight growled through gritted teeth, and she regarded her student with the most dour of deep-set frowns. "How could you break your word so early and so easily?! Like you said so yourself: Diamond Tiara has just left her family home for the first time to live in a new place with virtual strangers. She's confused, scared, depressed and really needs treating with the utmost care until we can gradually convince her to come out of her shell. So, what do you do? The first time you see her, you grab her by force with magic and put her onto your lap! Then, you take her on a high-speed ride back here which leaves her so nauseous she's nearly sick afterwards! Finally, to top everything off, a few minutes after she's discovered to have wet the bed in front of a Princess she idolises, you come bursting in and announce to the entire room you're changing the name that she's used for years and is comfortable with, without permission! How do you think all that is going to make her feel, in the fragile emotional state she's in? I don't know about you, but in her position, even if it'd been proven beyond any reasonable doubt that you were my birth mother, I may never speak to you again."
Starlight wilted a little under the stern admonishment of her teacher, and even in the midst of her jubilation, looked downcast for a few brief seconds. But unlike in their previous discussions on this subject, when the unicorn had readily accepted Twilight's advice on foal-rearing, now she was in a much more stubborn frame of mind. After all, she'd thought long and hard about this while combing her mane and flossing her teeth upstairs, which had taken a good ten minutes at least.
"Sorry Twi, I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one." Starlight shook her head sadly, as she began putting everything back into the storage cabinets. "I appreciate it might be hard for Sparkling to get used to her new name at first, but it is my firm belief the more time that passes, the more she'll grow to like it. Plus, as I said, my daughter's old and illegitimate title of 'Diamond Tiara' carries far too many unfortunate connotations with it, so I'm really doing this for her. Whenever the locals around here hear that name, I bet they remember nothing but a bullying, stuck-up filly who never thought of anypony but herself. I want to move her past that bad reputation, and now I have the power to do so, I'm going to use it to it's maximum potential. As for the other things you mentioned, well I'm truly sorry that me and Sparkling got off on the wrong hoof and I fully intend to tell her that myself before making it up to her during her time here. If she's as thoughtful and understanding as she seems from our initial contact though, I'm sure she'll accept that my overzealousness was mostly down to my inexperience as a new parent, and the fact that I was so happy seeing her after we spent so long apart. In fact, I'll explain all that to her in a moment, just as soon as I've found those blasted oats."
"Exactly! That's the point I've been trying to make!!" Twilight thought that her student didn't quite grasped yet what was at stake here, and was determined to get her to realise it until she was blue in the face from trying. Or maybe, a slightly deeper shade of lavender. "You just said yourself, that whatever the old Diamond Tiara was like, she's changed now beyond all recognition! Nopony in Ponyville hears that name now and remembers the spoiled brat she used to be, instead they see a smart and kind filly who donates plenty of bits to charity and is unfailingly polite to everypony she meets! Those that live here aren't so stupid that they'll judge a pony purely based on what their name is, or I'd maybe have suggested to a certain unicorn that she switch her's to something like 'Moonlight Ray', so that the inhabitants at her old village wouldn't be reminded of her less-than-savoury past every time she sets hoof in their neighbourhood! It's completely irresponsible and impulsive behaviour like you just displayed in the dining room which is only going to antagonise your daughter even more, and make it so even if you are genuinely remorseful for the rest of your parental missteps, she doesn't forgive you so easily in the long run."
Starlight dropped the bag of porridge she'd finally managed to locate amongst all the miscellaneous food from the cupboard, and huffed with annoyance at hearing her mentor's uncompromising opinion. "Okay Twilight, now that's going too far. I don't need to be reminded of my history wherever I go, you know I feel the biggest sense of regret for what I put you, my friends and everypony else through every single day of my life. Even after I defeated Queen Chrysalis and helped save the world from the Pony Of Shadows, I still feel the guilt eating away at me from the inside. But this isn't just me changing my filly's name on a sudden whim: this is about me deciding, as a concerned parent, what's best for her future."
"Best for her, or best for you?" Twilight didn't quite mean to sound so cold with her icy retort, but her frustration at not being able to convince Starlight of the wrongness of her actions was beginning to spill over.
"I-I won't even dignify that with a response, and simply put it down to harsh words said in the heat of the moment. " Starlight sniffed dismissively, as she made her way out of the kitchen towards the dining room once more. "You know, I thought you of all ponies would be pleased at my decision. I actually renamed her partially in honour of a great friend of mine, who helped me see the light one day and turned my entire life around to something meaningful, which is exactly what I intend to do with Sparkling. Gee, I wonder who I could be talking about?!"
"W-Wait a sec. Y-You're talking about... me?!" Twilight gasped in shock, only realising for the first time the similarities between her surname and her student's daughter's newly proposed first name. "Oh Starlight, you didn't have to do that. As much as I appreciate the gesture, I can't help but feel that you're being entirely too hasty in..."
"Whatever, the name stays!" Starlight had quite enough of being lectured to for one morning, and threw a hunk of papers on the floor in front of Twilight while fully departing the cooking area. "I may not be as good or as voracious a reader as you, but I've looked over this contract over and over again since it was signed. It clearly states that, as Sparkling's newly registered birth mother, it gives me complete freedom to rename her as I see fit! So, I would like it if you were to respect my wishes and refer to her by her new name from now on, please. As a law-abiding princess yourself, I'm sure you'll adhere to my humble request, thank you very much. Now, I must go and see how my daughter is doing. I of course, would welcome your input in assisting me with the tasks ahead in the coming days, provided that you're not going to start arguing in front of her with me. As you so rightly said, she's been through enough already, wouldn't you agree?"
A clearly aggravated Starlight then stormed out with her packet of oats and bowl, leaving Twilight all alone to gather up the scattered paperwork from the floor to read it again in earnest, wishing with all her heart that she'd studied them with the same dedicated attention to detail earlier that Starlight obviously had.
Levitating her patented horn-rimmed spectacles a few inches from her eyes, she carefully looked over the documents, especially focusing on that tricky small print Spoiled had made great play of emphasising the previous day, a section which'd made Starlight squeal with joy when she'd read it at the mansion, and only now Twilight had managed to find the time to scrutinise in any great depth.
During such time that the filly known as 'Diamond Tiara' will be staying at her new address, the mare called 'Starlight Glimmer' will possess all the rights and privileges a mother would have at birth regarding her daughter's requirements, bar none. This extends to minor punishments and dietary needs, but also includes schooling, socialising and...
Uh oh. Twilight audibly gulped as the full scale of what she'd just read began to register in her overworked brain. Well Spike, my old friend, it looks like you and me are going to have a lot on our plate the next few weeks. Buckle up.
Starlight Glimmer wasn't exactly expecting a grand parade when she reentered the dining room with her breakfast, but she didn't anticipate being treated by the spawn of Tartarus, either.
Sparkling (for that was now her name, at least in the mind of her new mother) seemed to be doing all she could to avoid eye contact with the unicorn, even to the extent of staring at the numerous cracks in the wall.
Spike, on the other hoof, had trained his slit eyes directly onto Starlight's chewing figure, and it made the unicorn feel extremely uncomfortable indeed. Though he didn't say a word during his silent vigil, she could tell he was as cross with her as Twilight had been back in the kitchen earlier.
Overall, it made for a most uncomfortable dining experience, and Starlight desperately racked her brain to figure out how to break the ice without being simultaneously pierced by several hundred sharpened icicles.
"H-Hey, are those my Cinnamon Nut Crunchies you're eating there, Sparkling?!" Starlight thought she'd spotted an ideal opportunity for discussion, and pursued it with considerable vigour. "You know, I was just about to blame my bestie Trixie for stealing them, only to discover to my horror it's my very own daughter responsible for the daring heist! Wait 'til you meet Trixie, darling! She knows so many funny magic spells, like when she chains you up in a little transparent box, fills it full of water, then..."
Unfortunately, either Sparkling had no interest in her mother's personal life or maybe she just had a slight aversion to water, after the longest and most thorough scrub she'd ever had. Instead of taking any sort of notice in Starlight's story, she simply spun her chair around to turn her back on the unicorn. She didn't even bother with conveying the illusion that she was listening at all.
Starlight was a little irritated that her first attempt to extract a reaction from the pink filly hadn't gone down so well, but as she constantly had to remind herself, it would probably be a slow and arduous process in getting her daughter to open up, so she shouldn't be too disheartened at this early setback. So she tried again, this time with feeling.
"L-Listen, d-darling..." she attempted to sound as motherly as possible, while wiping the rapidly bleeding perspiration from her sweaty brow. "...What you have to understand is, I'm completely new to this whole 'mum' thing, so if I'm a bit too overbearing or ignorant at first, I have to apologise. I'm sure, if we both work together on this, we can find common ground somewhere along the line. If I make any mistakes you can tell me in confidence, and I'll do my best to listen and learn in all the areas I need to improve in. So, what do you say, Sparkling?"
"A good start would be giving her her old name back!" An unexpected and unwelcome introduction into the conversation came curtesy of Spike, who having heard everything said up until now, couldn't bite his forked tongue any longer. "How's about that for a decent 'first suggestion'?"
Starlight turned to the dragon in surprise, her widened eyes conveying how shocked she was at this random interruption. "S-Spike? Why did you just say that? I don't mean to be rude, but this is between me and my daughter. If she wants to tell me anything, I'm sure she can do it for herself..."
"Actually, me and Diamond were talking while you and Twilight were in the other room." Spike had no intention of butting out, and the rest of his reply told the unicorn why. "It turns out 'Diamond Tiara' was picked out by her father, not her mother. It was the one thing he got to choose during her upbringing, and you've just snatched it away. But even if it wasn't Spoiled who named her, it's still totally wrong to change her name without even asking her first! If Twilight started calling me 'Humdrum' for example, and we weren't in an imaginary comic book fantasy land, I'd want to know why! What possible reason could you have to do such a thing, and why go forward with it when quite clearly it upsets her so much?"
"H-Humdrum? C-Comic book fantasy land?! Spike, what on Equestria are you talking... oh, never mind." Starlight decided to be the 'mature' one here and stick to the issues, while grunting with annoyance at having to explain her motive yet again for this big decision. "Basically, as you are now fully aware, Sparkling comes from a very difficult background of neglect and abuse. Spoiled may be the main instigator behind her misery over the years, but I'm pretty sure Filthy didn't help out very much by putting his career above that of his family! Personally, I don't care which one of them named my daughter, taken from me under false pretences let me remind you, both had a part to play in raising her in the worst way possible! I'm just glad that she began changing her ways before I came on the scene, or else my job would've been even harder! The sooner I remove all trace of that wretched pair from her life and regain full custody, the better!"
Starlight's rant had been so impassioned and forceful, she'd plain forgotten that Sparkling was in the same room as she spoke, until the unicorn heard an audible wince coming from the chair where the filly sat, particularly during the parts where her beloved father was criticised.
Funnily enough though, Starlight didn't mind this too much. It might do Sparkling some actual good to hear some home truths about how awful both her parents really were, and when the situation was a bit less emotionally wrought, she was positive that her daughter would reach the same conclusion. All it would take was a few short weeks to get her to see sense, the unicorn was sure of it!
At this present moment in time though, Sparkling seemed distinctly unimpressed with the future scenario Starlight had just laid out, a school of thought Spike seemed to agree with. "Starlight... I ask you this as a concerned friend, so please don't get mad. What has gotten into you lately? You're not acting like yourself at all! In fact, what I've heard from you of late kind of reminds me of the old Starlight. You know, the one who'd never listen to reason, the one who always had to do things her way, the one who tried to control and manipulate other ponies lives... ring any bells? If they do, I hope they wake you up to yourself soon."
If it'd been Spike's intention to try to change Starlight's mind through super duper honesty, it didn't seem to have done much good. Perhaps his fatal mistake was bringing up the unicorn's past once more, something which, as Twilight had found out just a few minutes ago, was never a good idea in front of the now irate unicorn.
"Okay, you know what Spike? I think I've lost my appetite. These oats have gone soggy anyway, while I was listening to you rant at me for the 'terrible' crime of trying to be a good mother. I'll head off now to empty my bowl into the trash, so I can wash it in the sink. When I return, I'd like to have some private time outside with my daughter to explain the full reasoning behind my decision, so she doesn't get sidetracked by you or Twilight and your constant attempts to interfere with my parenting. I know I'm a complete amateur at this, but can you really say you could do any better? After all, it's not like you or Twilight have children yourselves. Don't you think I at least deserve a chance to show what I can do?"
"W-What? B-But I was only trying to..." Spike, far more used to being praised for his aptitude and attitude, was most aggrieved at the mere insinuation he was being more of a hindrance than a help.
"Unless that sentence ends in 'make Sparkling very confused', then I'm afraid we're going to have to agree to disagree." Starlight continued her disapproving tone, whilst shaking her head regretfully. "Furthermore, I'm a little taken aback with how difficult you and Twilight are making this for us. Perhaps, if you carry on trying to overstep your authority by telling me what to do for the next month, I may have to review how much input you have in Sparkling's life from now on. Anyway, I'll be back in a minute. Did you hear that, precious? I want to take a stroll with you, just a quick one, so we can sort all this out together. Make sure you're ready for when I come back, please!"
With that final instruction to Sparkling, spoken in a notably softer tone than the rest of her mini-statement, Starlight left the nonplussed filly and dragon alone for now while deep in thought. Oh, wait 'til she hears the itinerary of fun I'm going to set up for her! She'll have such a good time, a measly name change will be the last thing on her brain! Oh, I can't wait! We're going to bond like no mother and daughter have ever before!
Obviously Sparkling would thoroughly disagree with that viewpoint, and when the pleasantly humming mare had fully departed, it was the pink filly who whispered over the table to Spike, obviously afraid of being overheard.
"You told me that if I ignored her, she'd get the message and change her mind!" Sparkling growled at the flustered dragon, flicking a few droplets of milk at him for good measure.
"H-Hey, how was I supposed to know? That tactic always works with Twilight, especially when I want extra gem-encrusted ice cream." Spike flinched slightly, as he wiped his scales clean. "Look on the positive side, at least now you'll get the chance to tell Starlight directly how you feel, and maybe convince her that she's going a bit overboard with this whole 'mother' thing... okay, very overboard."
"That I will. And there's no 'maybe' about it, it's about time I put this cutie mark to good use once again by setting some ground rules." Sparkling said with determination, as she patted her patented flank symbol. "Seeing as giving her the silent treatment didn't work, I'm going to be as loud and proud as I can when I order her to refer to me as I was before this whole nightmare started. Along with 'coaxing' her to do a few other things too, like cutting out all the condescending language and unwanted physical contact. Let me just put my tiara on upstairs, and I'll be ready for her. Don't fret Spike, I promise to get this all sorted out before the end of the day. If I can handle Spoiled, Starlight should be foal's play. Well, see you later."
Sparkling was just about to leave an incredibly skeptical Spike behind and make her way up to her temporary bedroom, before she almost collided right into Twilight. The princess was too busy thinking about the intricacies of the complicated contract she'd just studied to properly concentrate on where she was going, and it was only through sheer luck the alicorn avoided tripping over the pink filly where she stood.
"Oh, sorry. S-Sorry." Twilight reversed back in course, as a surprised Sparkling froze up. "I didn't see you down there. N-Not that I'm saying you're short, at least for your age, your development height-wise is actually quite average for a filly, and..."
"It's okay, Twilight. I understand. I think both of us have a lot on our minds right now." Sparkling relaxed a little again, and raised her head to look the alicorn in the eye. "I can guess who the cause of our worries is, as well. But don't let it bother you too much. I'm about to go and have a little chat with 'mother', and straighten out a few things with her. It might start getting a bit ugly, so don't be shocked if you hear a bit of shouting coming from outside. I'll try to keep the bad language down to a minimum, though."
"U-Um, alright Sparkling, if you think that'll help." Twilight couldn't help but think about how hard Starlight would take this stubborn demeanour from her daughter, particularly after witnessing the older mare's pleasant mood in the kitchen a few moments ago while she did the washing-up. "But, are you sure you don't want me or Spike to supervise? If anything happens between the two of you, I'd hate to think how bad it might get if no-one is around to step in..."
"I'll be fine, Twilight. You might have heard this around town, but I can be just as unmovable and pushy as Starlight can, so don't underestimate me. I'll get her to listen to what I have to say, if it's the last thing I do." Sparkling spoke in an unyielding tone, before asking another request of the princess instead. " If it's all the same though, could you and Spike continue to call me by my proper birth name? Just because somepony living here has gone slightly insane, it doesn't mean that anypony else needs to be locked up. Plus, let me just say this: 'Sparkling Glimmer' must be the most stupid name given to a pony ever."
"Oh, I don't know about that..." Twilight pondered momentarily on the likes of 'Fizzle Pop Berry Twist'. It was all a matter of opinion, she supposed. "...But changing your name without your consent is a definite no-no from me."
"Does that mean you'll refer to me by my proper name?" Sparkling asked hopefully, her ears raised.
"E-Erm, sadly no." Twilight blushed profusely, wondering how she was going to articulate what she wanted to say. "Basically, this contract stipulates that as long as you live under this roof, Starlight is more-or-less your mother by law. As a Princess, I have no power in changing the names of all the fillies and colts given to them by their parents, as that would constitute an excessive use of the crown. Well, maybe if the name sounded obscene, but that hasn't happened for over fifty years, and even then it was a close run decision. 'Hot Stud' indeed."
"Well, thanks for nothing. I guess I'll have to sort all this out for myself. See you when I get back from 'family time'. Gee, I can't wait." Sparkling stormed off in a huff, leaping up the stairs two at a time before unceremoniously slamming her bedroom door behind in the most overdramatic way possible.
Faced with a petulant, unrelenting student...
And her equally headstrong, moody daughter...
It was all Twilight could do to collapse onto one of her crystal chairs, wishing with all her heart for something slightly less taxing than her current dilemma.
A solo rematch with Tirek maybe, without the combined power of the princesses this time around.
Or a nice, bracing Changeling invasion. Yeah, that would've done the trick, why did we ever have to reform them...
Twilight's exhausted daydreaming was abruptly cut short by Spike, giving her one of his trademark single-eyebrow-raised looks.
Having known him since he was a tiny wee hatchling, she knew exactly what was he was thinking.
Celestia's sun shone warmly over Ponyville that glorious morning, as a unicorn and her recently reunited daughter briskly stepped outside together from the vestiges of a crystalline palace. One was filled with all the simple joys and happiness a beautiful summer's day can inspire, the other brimming with all the optimism and pleasure a trip to the dentist Tooth Pull for major dental work might provoke.
If you can't guess which is which, you obviously haven't been paying attention.
"Oh my, what a wonderful time to be alive!" Starlight Glimmer made a big show of stretching out each of her four limbs, as she happily scanned her surroundings. "Everything just seems so much better when things are going well, don't you think, Sparkling? And look at that gloriously blue sky! Not a grey cloud on the horizon, and I must give credit to Rainbow and her friends for making it look so neat. Look, they're up there right now, clearing away the last few remnants. Shall we wave to them?"
"E-Erm, no, I don't think that'll be necessary." Sparkling was eager to start a dialogue with her birth mother to establish a few ground rules amongst many other things, and the activity above was just creating an unnecessary distraction. "To be frank Starlight, you're lucky I'm talking to you at all right now. Apart from making me feel really awkward ever since we met, you've just had the nerve to take away my name to replace it with... well, it's so cheesy I won't even mention what it is. Honestly, I'm not very comfortable around you right now. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?”
"Well, I thought we'd get a bit of fresh air and see some of the sights and sounds of Ponyville before we got down to the nitty-gritty, but if you want to push the issue this early, so be it." Starlight sighed sadly at the 'arrogance' of youth, before she began to address her daughter in a more serious tone. "Basically darling, mummy... sorry, I meant to say 'I', heard numerous stories about this wealthy filly called Diamond Tiara ever since I arrived in town a couple of years ago, and none of them were very good. She sounded haughty, manipulative, a real bully... in fact, she'd gotten such a bad reputation, I'd already decided to avoid her like a swarm of Stinkbugs there and then. Little did I know at the time, that it was my own flesh and blood responsible for all those heinous acts of impropriety! Oh, how could I have been so blind as to leave you in the hooves of that monstrous mare and her rich enabler...!"
"B-But... I'm so much better now!" Sparkling protested most vehemently, irritated beyond measure that she was apparently the one in the crosshairs when it was Starlight who was clearly being unreasonable. "Didn't you hear all the stories? About how I defied Spoiled, helped get the Crusaders their Cutie Marks, built a giant jungle gym in the schoolyard and even saved my butler's life in the aftermath of that disastrous Applewood Derby recently?"
"Yes, I did as a matter of fact, sweetheart, and I'm ever so proud of you!" Starlight almost launched herself at her daughter to administer the tightest of hugs, but restrained herself at the final second when she remembered the filly didn't want physical contact that invasive just yet. "...Well, apart from that last one, but I find those stupid races where you go round in circles for hours boring anyway, so that's no reflection on you. Anyway, you have to remember, when I first came into Ponyville you'd only just started to 'reform' as it were, so there were still suspicious whispers going around that you might not quite mean your change of heart, and you could return to your old ways. Of course, your attitude since then seems to have been second-to-none, and everypony is your friend! But, as I've learned from hard experience myself, it takes time to convince others that you're truly a new mare. Time, and a great deal of humility..."
"I... see." Sparkling raised an eyebrow upon hearing this, interested despite her perceived indifference. "So you managed to get everypony to forgive you, even after you almost destroyed the world over something as simple as losing your only friend. Don't get me wrong, I love Silv so much I'd lay down in front of the Friendship Express for her, but if we ever parted ways I don't think even I'd go as far as that. How did you convince every single pony to give you another chance, when you almost did something so awful?"
"U-Umm..." Starlight visibly sweated at the question, and guided Sparkling to a quieter direction to tell her the complete truth of the matter. "Basically, not everypony here knows what I told you, your father and mother back at the mansion, and I'd prefer it if things were kept that way. If they knew the full extent of my involvement regarding the almost-annihilation of all life everywhere, I may never be able to walk down this dusty path again without being pelted by all manner of rotten fruit. Have you ever tried eating a mouldy tomato? Here's a bit of advice: don't. But when you're starving and you have nothing else to eat, I suppose you have no other choice. Those days I spent alone on the road before Our Town were harsh indeed..."
"Okay, okay, I get it, Starlight. Life hasn't exactly been easy for you, even before you had me." Sparkling began to feel a palpable tinge of sympathy for the morose mare in front of her, but tried to remain focused on the end goal. "...But deciding to change my name without my express permission, badmouthing my father who I still adore right to my face and trying to start some kind of radical behavioural therapy for me is not the way to go about correcting your mistakes! Besides, I think I'm doing pretty well on being a better pony these days, myself. Do you know what the old Sparkling Glim... I mean, Diamond Tiara would've done with the private information you just told her? Here's a clue: she wouldn't have just locked it up in a dainty little box inside her head."
Starlight's eyes nearly burst out of their sockets upon hearing her daughter's apparent threat. "Y-You don't mean... y-you can't mean... t-that would be simply unconscionable....”
"You're absolutely right, and it's something my former self would've done without hesitation. Spoiled taught me well to be the 'best of the best' when it came to getting what I wanted, and if that included blackmail, than so be it." Sparkling shook her head with sadness as she recalled the whole sorry Foal Free Press escapade, before turning back to the fretful unicorn. "But the fact is, I'm not like that anymore. I've changed my values and outlook on life all by myself... with the slight help of a few good friends, of course. My point is though, if I'm capable of making such huge strides on my own, do you really think that being so overprotective and demanding of me is going to improve my personality? And the same applies to this new name you've just foisted upon me. I mean 'Sparkling'? Really? Do I look like I was born in the Crystal Empire?!"
"I... d-don't know. I j-just thought that..." Tears were beginning to fill Starlight's eyes upon hearing her daughter's heartfelt plea, but they weren't entirely sad ones because of the filly's 'rejection' of her ideas. Rather, some were the product of the sheer pride she felt about having sired such an independently-minded, headstrong child who'd surely do whatever she set her heart on in life.
For the first time since their unplanned reunion, Starlight seriously began to have second thoughts about her hasty over-integration into the life of her firstborn. To make this at all possible, it was always going to have to be Sparkling herself who delivered the stern lecture, not Spike or even Twilight, because as close as they were to the unicorn, they weren't the ones being visibly impacted by any long-term decisions made for the filly's well-being.
In any case, it looked like Sparkling's honesty and straight-talking was about to pay dividends. Starlight now wore a far more conciliatory expression on her face, and as she opened up her mouth to respond properly to her daughter's earnest request there was a high level of expectation in the air...
...Only for all the tension and poignancy of the occasion to be abruptly fizzled out by the sight of an ominous pink figure looming large over both Glimmers, one forehoof placed amiably around each of their necks.
"Ooh, sorry... am I interrupting a 'moment'?" Pinkie seemed quite guilty at cutting short what could've been a groundbreaking milestone in Sparkling and Starlight's relationship, but she still prattled on regardless. "Never mind, I'm sure you can press 'pause' on it for now to hear the great news! At Sugarcube Corner today, there's free cupcakes and ginger beer for any mother and daughters who dine in together. And I suppose, after yesterday's shenanigans, that includes you two lucky ponies!! So sit your keister down inside, enjoy the complimentary food and drink we have to offer, and stay for the great service and company. Who knows, you may learn a thing or too as well! Anyway, hope to see you in there. This is Pinkamena Diane Pie, your potential waitress and comedienne for the day, over and out!"
With that somewhat bizarre invite to her eatery out of the way (though for Pinkie, such an outlandish gesture was quite regular behaviour) the manic party pony hopped back inside her place of business. This is also when Sparkling together with Starlight realised they'd wandered a little further than they'd expected in the midst of their intense discussion...
...As far away as Sugarcube Corner, to be exact.
Deciding to let her daughter choose their next action for a change, Starlight turned to the crowned filly in expectation. "A-Anyway, shall we go inside?"
After considering the matter carefully for a few seconds, Sparkling determined it was a pretty easy decision to make. "Y-Yeah, why not? After all, who can say no to an offer like that?" Besides, in such a relaxed setting it might give us the chance to continue our conversation. It could just be my hopeful imagination, but I do believe I'm finally getting through to her...
Starlight seemed to swallow a large lump in her throat upon hearing this, and smiled nervously at Sparkling's acceptance. "O-Okay let's do it. That Pinkie though... what a character! Am I right, or am I right?"
Sparkling glanced up in shock at the unicorn's observation there, a distinct look of puzzlement clear to see. "You know Starlight, I was just about to say the same thing."
"Oh, I'm not surprised dear, many ponies who know Pinkie have formed the same opinion over the years. I mean, we love her, but at the same time she truly is an enigma to us all..."
"No, Starlight. I meant: I was going to use those exact words, in precisely the same order. Weird."
'Y-Yes, that is quite the coincidence darling, I agree!"
Despite their current multitude of issues that they needed to iron out sooner or later, the first reaction Starlight and Sparkling had to entering the familiar eatery known as Sugarcube Corner was one of surprised bemusement.
For such a big event as a free indoor picnic for fillies and their female parents, you'd have thought they'd be more of an uptake on the offer. The place was virtually deserted, aside from the Cakes with their foals giving them a friendly nod from the counter, and Pinkie gesturing to a centralised table where two chairs were handily positioned.
"Make yourselves at home please, I shall return with your orders post haste." The party pony was truly at her manic best today, whizzing around like a miniature hurricane to seat both Sparkling and her mother before rushing off into the kitchen area, almost blowing the door off it's hinges in her wake.
"W-Well, er... you have to say, the service here is pretty exemplary..." Starlight grimaced slightly at the sound of drinks and cakes no doubt being heaped inelegantly onto a single tray. "...I just hope she doesn't drop the food all over my head like last time I was here. There is one thing that confuses me, though: how can she 'take our orders', when we didn't even say what we wanted yet?"
"That's Pinkie for you, I guess." Sparkling simply shrugged off the older earth pony's behaviour. She might not have known Pinkie as well as Starlight, but her perpetual randomness was legendary to all residents of Ponyville. "I'm more puzzled by the fact that we seem to be the only ones eating here, on a day when such a great promotion is on offer."
"U-um... we didn't have enough time to advertise. I-It was all done at very short notice. Y-Yes that's it, nothing suspicious here at all!" Mr Cake heard this part of the discussion, and for some reason began to act like he was hiding something.
"T-That's right, dearies. We'll probably get a bigger turnout later on." Mrs Cake interjected, somewhat unconvincingly. "So, we'll leave you two alone now to to talk thing ou... I mean, enjoy your time together. The diapers need to have their twins changed... w-well, you know what I'm trying to say. Ta-ta for now!"
You didn't have to be Shadow Spade to figure out something mightily odd was going on as the married couple hastily reversed course to make their way upstairs. Starlight together with her daughter gave each other a skeptical look in recognition of this.
"Do you think that Twilight..."
"Most likely."
"She went to all this trouble..."
"Friendship is kind of her thing, you see."
"I don't know how to feel about this."
"Just do what I do, and go with the flow. Try to stop her, and it'll only lead to bloodshed and ruin in the future."
"R-Really?"
"Well, disappointed glances and long silences actually, which can be even worse. Let's just give it a try, and if it doesn't work out... hey, free food!"
"I-I guess..." Sparkling finally gave into the blatant overtures at reconciliation that had been put in motion by a certain princess, as Pinkie returned at that precise second staggering under a predictably leaning tower of delectables.
"Whoa! This is even more difficult than I ever imagined!" She opined, doing some kind of bizarre shimmy en route just to keep her balance. "Who'd have thought that stacking up half the items on our menu higgledy-piggledy and then carrying them halfway across the restaurant would prove to be so darn hazardous? I don't really think I thought this through. How unusual for me! Never mind, what's done is done. Here comes Delicious in for a smooth landing!!"
"Pinkie, isn't that rather too much for just two ponies to digest?! In case you hadn't noticed, this isn't the Grand Galloping Gala!" Starlight asked with concern of her struggling friend, making sure she moved her chair away from where any potential spillage might occur. "I hope you don't mind being on washing-up duty all night, either."
"Never mind all that..." Sparkling's attention was apparently drawn to something other than Pinkie's usual antics. "T-That's the thing I'm most worried about...!"
The worried filly jabbed her hoof anxiously at a 'JUST MOPPED' sign sitting nearby, which caused instant panic in both of the diners' minds. Without further delay, they scrambled to shelter underneath the table, absolutely sure that any minute now Pinkie would come tumbling down, bringing with her a slurry of food and drink which would mess up their manes and fur something awful.
For Starlight, Pinkie would merely be a repeat offender if the worst should happen, but Sparkling dreaded this looming disaster most of all. She'd already been scrubbed in the tub red raw this morning on account of her 'little accident', and she had no intention of experiencing that again so soon, no sirree.
"What are you both doing cowering under there, you silly billies?" Pinkie found the pair's terrified reactions quite amusing, and continued to lurch forward clutching her huge load with all the poise of a trained tightrope walker. "I'll have you know I practiced this exact scenario more than a hundred times, in the event we got a sudden high volume of orders. Yep, that includes the possibility of there being a wet floor, too. So get out from under there, and ready yourself for an assault on the tastebuds you'll never forget!"
Just as Starlight and Sparkling were somewhat reassured by Pinkie's confident tone and even tentatively poked their heads out from under the furniture however, disaster struck. No, it wasn't the slippery floor that caused mayhem this time, nor was it Pinkie nattering when she should've been concentrating on making sure her unruly mountain of goodies remained upright.
No, it was Gummy who'd somehow materialised right in the middle of her path that did the damage. Pinkie seemed to have no idea her precious pet was there, and as soon as her hind leg made contact with the baby alligator, the next few seconds were inevitable. Here they are in slow-mo for those who wish to preserve the memory:
A loud nnnooooo from Pinkie.... an acrobatic tumble... plates and dishes flying everywhere... Starlight and Sparkling bracing themselves for impact... Gummy blinking once, twice... a mysterious dark shadowy figure watching from outside...
Okay, maybe that's a bit too much detail. Let's skip the rest, and go straight to the outcome of this impending calamity, shall we?
Starlight, with her eyes firmly shut for the best part of a minute afterwards, was most surprised to not hear the telltale sound of smashing glass and crashing china, and so opened them up a scooch. What she saw made her jaw drop, rub her eyes in amazement and nudge a slightly trembling Sparkling next to her, who'd been repeating on an endless refrain "Please not the loofah. Anything, but the loofah again."
Both parent and daughter gazed in awe at the beautifully stacked table in front of them. There was not just the promised ginger beer and cupcakes, but as many different flavours of muffins as you can conceivably imagine, a large array of freshly baked pastries from the oven and even napkins helpfully engraved 'DT' and 'SG' to go along with the feast.
Of course, Sparkling Glimmer now had the same initials as her mother (at least currently) so this might have to be updated for future special occasions, but the filly in question was too relieved right now to be too concerned about such trivialities.
"We're alive! We're safe! And best of all, we're still spotless! Woo-hoo!" Sparkling just couldn't help herself as she dive-bombed Starlight in a spontaneous moment of sincere relief, hugging the older mare's fetlocks tightly as she hysterically laughed with sheer abandon.
Somewhat taken aback, both at Pinkie's 'unique' ability to setting a table perfectly when on the verge of hitting the dirt, and her daughter's unexpected show of affection despite earlier heavy disincentives to the contrary, it was all that Starlight could do to pat the snuggling filly gently whilst staring with wonderment at the delightful banquet sprawled out in front of them.
In the meantime, a pink party-lover and her scaly sidekick had quickly made themselves scarce to retreat into the kitchen, rabidly giggling at the success of their 'plan'. Well, one of them was... the other seemed far more interested in dangling his forked tongue lazily from his mouth for no reason at all.
"We did it, Gummy!" Pinkie announced to her unmoved pet, as she gallivanted around the room in excitement. "I told Twilight that the old 'make 'em think they're about to get immersed in gunk' scheme would be an ideal addition to her strategy to bring them closer together, but did she believe me? Of course not, but look at all the huggles and snuggles that are going on out there! Nothing brings estranged families together better than a staged food-related catastrophe, and there's the proof in the pudding that's about to be eaten. Oh Twi, she of little faith! Now, how's about we have some yummy horsefly ice cream to celebrate? What? A new flavour? Don't be silly Gummy, the horseflies are for you! Unless..."
"BURP! O-Oops sorry, that was a complete accident! It won't happen again, honest!" Sparkling remarked apologetically as she polished off the last of her strawberry sundae from a now much emptier-looking table.
"What? Oh, you don't have to worry about that sort of thing around me, darling." Starlight stated with amusement, as she dabbed a few stray cookie crumbs from her muzzle by use of unicorn magic. "Let's just say my table decorum standards aren't quite on a par with Spoiled's, so feel free to express yourself flatulently to your heart's content. Within reason, of course."
"O-Oh okay, thanks." Sparkling chuckled nervously, remembering with an elevated shiver all the occasions she'd even so much as clear her throat during a meal resulting in Spoiled almost screeching her ears off, whilst Filthy hid behind his newspaper. "So, that was pretty much the most I've eaten all at once in my entire life. I hope Twilight hasn't got anything big in store for lunch. Or even, dinner. I'm stuffed."
"Twilight? Nah. She'll either be too busy reading to eat at the proper time, or she'll just grab a late night snack later." Starlight reclined in her seat with satisfaction, wishing she wore a belt so she could loosen it. "She has this big idea at the moment, for a school? Not quite the same as Miss Cheerilee's class, though. It's a bit impractical right now, but one day she hopes to get one of every species in Equestria and teach them about the ways of friendship to show that universal peace is achievable. Mad I know, but she really has her heart set on it! Whatever next... me as a guidance counsellor?!"
"Y-Yeah... that is pretty funny!" Despite it being a chore to budge an inch right now, Sparkling couldn't help but find the prospect of the often apprehensive mare in front of her giving advice to youngsters most amusing. "But if there's one thing I've learned about Princess Twilight, it's when she really wants something to happen, it tends to work out for her no matter what."
"I suppose. I mean, if anypony told me this time a couple of years ago I'd be sitting here having a casual conversation with my daughter instead of manipulating a bunch of ponies into giving away their Cutie Marks, I'd have probably laughed in their face. I have quite a good 'evil' laugh, you know. Perhaps I ought to demonstrate it to you sometime. Bwhahahaha!!" Starlight winked conspiratorially at her bloated filly, before gradually rising to her feet. "Well, I guess if all this stuff was free, there's no point in paying or even leaving a tip, so shall we see if we can fit through the front door to leave now? Or would you like me to get you a doggy bag, Sparkling... oh dear."
Referencing the unwanted name Starlight had assigned to her daughter was a bit of a mistake on the unicorn's part, as she'd been trying to avoid using it for the better part of the morning since the filly's mini-rant about it outside. She'd hoped to bring up the subject again later, when things were a bit more relaxed between the pair, and they could discuss all the pros and cons rationally like civilised equines.
It was too late for that now though, and the next words to spring forth from her daughter's lips were destined to be ones of condemnation and chastisement, that would almost certainly ruin the wonderful gourmet of sweet treats they'd enjoyed together. The nervous unicorn prepared herself for what she was about to hear next...
"S-Starlight?"
"Y-Yes, dear?"
"C-Can you tell me about the rest of your family at some point, please? I-I-Including perhaps, my birth father?
"W-What?" Starlight couldn't quite believe her ears. Her daughter had apparently gone from having no interest whatsoever in her heritage to wanting to hear everything in minute detail, all in a heartbeat. "B-But I thought..."
"Not right away, but later." Sparkling shrugged her shoulders, as if she couldn't quite believe her own interest either. "I just thought it would be nice to find out a bit more about where I came from. T-That's okay, isn't it?"
"W-Why yes, of course it is, Spar... I-I mean, d-darl... um..." Starlight was almost ecstatic over Sparkling's apparent embracement of where she came from, but the unicorn didn't want to ruin it by constantly rehashing the name she hated. Or for that matter, using any other cloying terms of endearment this early in their relationship.
Sparkling seemed to pick up on this unease, and laid a reassuring hoof on Starlight's neck. "I just don't want to rush things, you know? Like you did with this silly name change, as I'm sure you'd agree if you really thought about it. I realise you feel it was your right to choose, but I was perfectly happy with my old one for years, and it would feel a bit odd to suddenly switch it now. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Droplets began gathering at the cusp of Starlight's eyelids, and she glanced down tearfully at her polite yet blunt filly. "I-I just wanted to call you by the name I had decided on from the day you were born. I-I've been waiting so long to see you again since you were ripped from my hooves, and to be able to finally think of you as my own. S-Sorry if that sounds selfish..."
Now it was Sparkling's turn to feel a bit of the ol' eye moisture dribbling down her nose. Darn it, now I feel like a heel. "N-No, it doesn't at all. I understand it must've been really hard for you to let me go, almost as difficult as it is for me to accept that I've been adopted all this time and a total stranger is my birth mother. But Daddy gave me that name himself, and whatever you might think about Spoiled's behaviour, he's been nothing but loving and supportive all along. So to take that one small thing away from him, kind of feels like you're trying to write out his contribution to my life. Which, if you knew how good he's been to me, I'm sure you'd see is a big mistake."
"U-Uh h-huh." Starlight went to wipe away the gathering fluid from around her cheeks, perhaps realising that the entrance to Sugarcube Corner wasn't the best place for a emotional meltdown. "M-Maybe I did let my dislike of your mother cloud my judgement somewhat, in deciding where to proportionate blame for the way you've been treated. If you tell me Mr Filthy has been a great father, who am I to disagree? I shall apologise to him the next chance I get for thinking otherwise. And, as for the name thing..."
Sparkling's ears pricked up as she heard these pertinent words. "Y-Yes?"
"I suppose we don't have to change it, if it means that means that much to you." Starlight gave a rueful smile at the-one-and-only Diamond Tiara's intense expression. "That's probably something else I should've consulted with you about first, including the whole 'grab you by the use of magic and force you into my lap' incident. You see, I was just desperate to hold you after so long, and after hearing such dreadful things about what'd gone on in my absence, I suppose my overprotectiveness got the best of me."
"Well yes, it was sort of disturbing, to be ponyhandled suddenly like that..." Diamond openly admitted with an obvious frown. "...But compared to being grounded for getting my cutie mark a few months too late, or shouted at all night for daring to finish in second place for a stupid Equestria Games pre-show competition, I'd say what you did was quite mild. I'm willing to put it behind me, if you are."
"R-Right." Starlight tried to remain calm through gritted teeth. Every new revelation about Spoiled's monstrous conduct while she was off ruling an isolated village made her want to resurrect Starswirl's old spell again to travel back in time and wring the lying mare's scrawny neck. "Shall we attempt to make a fresh start, then? You tell me when I'm doing the whole 'overbearing mother' thing, and in return I'll do all I can to tell you about where you came from. I-Including, about your real father, if you so wish. Deal?"
"Deal!" Diamond said without any further hesitation. As an honorary Rich, she liked to think she could spot a good transactional opportunity when she saw it. "Let's treat each other with respect, try not to get on each others' nerves, and hopefully by the end of it all Spoiled will be gone forever and life can be worth living again."
"Now, that's something I think we can both agree on." Starlight grinned happily as she and Diamond shook hooves to seal the arrangement. "And who knows, when this is over, the name 'Sparkling Glimmer' might just have grown on you..."
"Hey, things are going well for a change." Diamond arced a stray eyebrow at Starlight's little aside there. "Don't push it."
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Come on, let's go back to the castle to see what Twilight has in store for us next. If it's any kind of overlong friendship lecture, feel free to hide behind me until it's finished. Unless you fancy having a mid-morning snooze." The mirthful unicorn laughed along with her equally amused filly companion, and the two of them finally left the cafe behind, already feeling much lighter than when they'd arrived. Despite, of course, all the fattening desserts they'd partaken of inside.
Their bulging bellies hadn't gone unnoticed by a few passers-by either, one of whom was a rather overweight filly with a knife and fork for a cutie symbol. "H-Huh? Why do you two look as though you've just had a four-course meal, when it's still only morning?"
"Oh, haven't you heard?" Starlight answered nonchalantly. "Mothers and daughters eat free today at Sugarcube Corner. If I were you though, I'd get there quick. After the feast we've just had, I'm not sure they'll be much left on the menu soon."
"Starlight!" Diamond chastised the loose-lipped unicorn with an irritated look. "I asked you before to keep the nature of our relationship private for now. There are actually things I'd rather wait to tell others about myself, before the rumour mill kicks into gear and everypony finds out."
The obese filly they were chatting to didn't seem too interested in Diamond's complicated parental situation though, instead homing in on the 'free food' angle.
"What?! Why haven't I hear about this before? There wasn't even any posters advertising this on the wall. Oh well, I'm not wasting another second longer if what you've told me is true. Hungry Horse! Blubber Butt! Come over here right now, and bring your moms! I just found out something very exciting, and I feel it's our duty to spread the word about it. Even if it does cost us more grub in the long run."
And so it was that Pinkie and the Cakes soon found themselves inundated with demanding customers, though perhaps not the kind they really wanted to see. A bunch of freeloaders is what they were, and as they proceeded to devour every single crumb in the joint, the usually jovial couple who ran the place stared at Pinkie with the intensity of a thousand daggers.
"Hey, it isn't my fault!" Pinkie protested vehemently to her peeved employers, as she zipped around at light speed to toss dozens of fresh muffins into wide open mouths with unerring accuracy. "It was Twilight's decision to treat Starlight and her daughter to a free meal, to bring them closer together. I was just the one who concocted that whole phoney baloney 'Mother And Filly Day' promotion, in order to avoid rousing suspicion. Brilliant, huh? They didn't suspect a thing! And now, we have more customers than ever! This really is the best of both worlds!"
"Pinkie, as usual, you're kind of missing the point." Mr Cake did his best to talk whilst trying to avoid being crushed by the stampede. "This is a business, and we're not making any bits today! Your little stunt has cost us a fortune! Didn't we tell you to run any random promotions by us first?"
"Yes dear, I am afraid that's true." Mrs Cake concurred with her husband's words, as she attempted in vain to make donuts quicker than the growing crowd could order them. "I'm afraid, as a one off measure, we're going to have to garnish your salary during the next few weeks to make up for the shortfall in profits."
Pinkie stopped her barrage of sweet treats temporarily to glance at the Cakes with an unreadable face, and for a moment the guilty couple thought maybe they'd been too hard on her.
"Garnish my celery?! Ooh, I'd love that! What other boring fruit and veg can we liven up, with frosting, topping and the works? Bananas? Tomatoes? Snozzberries? I have a very reliable contact I could get plenty of apples from, if you're interested. Trust me when I tell you she's very honest..."
Despite their current frustration with her latest shenanigans, the Cakes couldn't stay mad at the irascible funster for very long. They exchanged an affectionate eye-roll, before returning to the serving of customers with a renewed sense of purpose and levity.
Following mother and daughter now… unless you don’t want me to call them that… they’ve just left a now packed Sugarcube Corner… heading in the direction of the Castle Of Friendship. They seem in good spirits at the moment… and if I may say so, a whole lot chubbier...I’ll continue keeping you posted...
A strange mare wearing a black jacket and shades talking into a recorder tailed the pair of unsuspecting ponies, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible while doing so. Hiding behind a hedge… sheltering under an awning… even partially burying herself underground, you could tell this was a true professional surveillance op at work.
...That is, until she went out of her way to produce a sparkling pin and popped the balloon of an innocent colt she passed en route, before carrying on as if nothing untoward had happened.
Now, that was just cold. Like, deepest Yakyakistan-worthy.
………………………..
Blissfully unaware of the expert espionage going on right behind them, Diamond Tiara and Starlight Glimmer continued to exchange idle small-talk on their return journey home.
Though they still had a ways to go before either could honestly say there were any concrete foundations for a solid relationship, at the very least both could agree they’d begun to understand each other.
After all, both came from troubled backgrounds, had at least one somewhat overbearing parent (although, Firelight’s occasional coddling of his daughter was arguably minor compared to Spoiled’s tyrannical demands) and reformed after going through turbulent periods where they were less-than model citizens.
“...So anyway, I was thinking. Before my world was turned upside by discovering my one and only daughter was living under my muzzle the entire time I was in Ponyville, I was going to spend the day with Trixie.” Starlight informed the pink filly, as they approached the doors to the castle. “I’m not sure if you’ve ever met her, but she’s the first friend I made since moving here and I’d love to introduce you! Fancy tagging along for the ride?”
“Hmm. Isn’t she like, that self-proclaimed ‘Great and Powerful’ showmare who talks funny and does all those tricks that never go the way she wants them to? She did a show at the schoolhouse once for somepony’s birthday. I’ll be polite, and not tell you how it went.” Diamond grimaced slightly, remembering she was one of many youngsters who went hungry that day after turning their nutritious lunches into makeshift projectiles. “As much as I’d like to meet her properly, I better go and tell my friends everything that’s been happening of late. If you don’t mind, that is.”
“O-Oh, of course not. It’s fine.” Starlight tried to put a brave face on the refusal, but in reality she felt somewhat crushed. Her daughter had a social life outside of her, and she’d just have to learn to accept it. “Maybe you can bring them around to meet me at some point. I promise to be on my best behaviour, and I’ll even make my world-famous teacakes for the occasion! How does that sound?”
“G-Great.” Diamond commented unenthusiastically, and for a second the pair stood awkwardly together at the entrance to the castle. “Listen, I’m gonna shoot off now. Tell Twilight and Spike who I’m with, please. I’ll skip lunch and be back for dinner, on account of everything we just ate. But thanks Starlight, it’s been fun! We’ll definitely spend more time together, just not right now okay? Well… be seeing ya.”
Starlight barely had chance to mumble “Alright…” before Diamond took her leave, making a beeline straight for the treehouse where she knew her pals would be waiting. She had a lot to tell them, and she wasn’t quite sure if they’d believe her.
At least with Spoiled no longer being in control of her every move, strict curfews should be a thing of the past. After all, Starlight wanted to ‘play nice’ to keep her affections firmly on side, and so would probably accommodate any request she put to the anxious unicorn.
Quite a sneaky ploy, that was true. Never let it be said though, a Rich doesn’t know a good opportunity when they see it.
………………………….
In the meantime, a thoughtful Starlight made her way into the castle alone, where Twilight had been pacing up and down the hallway apprehensively awaiting her return. When she saw the unaccompanied unicorn stroll in, her worst fears were apparently confirmed, and she trotted over to her student wearing a noticeably disappointed expression.
“Oh Starlight, what have you said to her? Don’t tell me she’s run off already, and you’ve forfeited the contract?” Twilight was just warming up one of her infamously long lectures, and it promised to be a doozie. ”See where pushing that ‘Sparkling Glimmer’ nonsense got you? I’d be very surprised now if she ever…”
“Relax, Twi. Me and Diamond had a long talk and straightened a few things out. I’m going to respect her wishes to be called what she wants to from now on, and give her time and space to get used to me being around more. After all, as the old saying goes ‘Our Town wasn’t built in a day’.” Starlight told the aggravated alicorn about the small foal-steps she and her daughter had made, just before Twilight really got into her stride. “She’s just gone off to see her friends, that’s all. Isn’t that what fillies her age do on the weekend?”
“E-Er, I suppose so.” Twilight calmed down immediately, a distant flashback popping into her head of a much younger unicorn pulling the curtains shut in her bedroom to study on a glorious summer’s day. “Anyway, after your big scene in the dining room earlier I must say I am amazed at your sudden change of heart. Amazed, and delighted! I think Spike will be pleased too, but I told him he can’t come downstairs ‘til he’s cleaned under his bed. There are so many comics under it now, it’s as if it’s levitating off the ground…”
“I should apologise later for shouting at him, and I’m very sorry to you too.” Starlight bowed her head to show she meant it. “You were just trying to stop me from rushing things too fast, not being the interfering nag I took you for at first. I hope I can count on your help in the future to stop making any more stupid decisions. Who knew this ‘motherhood’ thing was such hard work?”
“Indeed. That’s why I don’t have any plans right now to start a family. As long as I have my books and friends around me, what more could I ask for? Plus, taking care of Spike is a full time job by itself…” Twilight joked, and a muffled I heard that! could be heard coming from somewhere on the second floor. “So anyway, now that Diamond is away, do you have any other plans for the day? You can help me Spring-clean around the library, if you like.”
“Hmm, tempting offer. But I’m going to meet Trix, to fill her in on all the comings and goings here lately. If she finds out from anypony else, she’s only going to be sour… and you know how that temper of hers can be!” Starlight began climbing the stairs to get to her room, for that was where her purse was located. “It’s my turn to pay for the spa, too. Not everything can be free like the feast me and Diamond had at Sugarcube Corner this morning, sadly.”
Sugarcube Corner? Free feast? Wait… Twilight, ever the quick-witted one, instantaneously recalled a conversation she’d had with Pinkie the other night just before her friends left Rich Mansion. Does that mean her hare-brained scheme of a complimentary meal for fillies and their mothers actually worked in bringing Diamond and Starlight together? Once again I’ve underestimated her. And I lost the bet. Oh well, it was worth it.
As per the terms of the agreement, Twilight immediately made plans to don a red nose and goofy glasses for the entirety of the next Council Of Friendship meeting, not knowing she had much bigger things to worry about.
Namely, an unseen presence lurking at the window taking pictures, before stealthily sneaking away.
“...So what you’re telling us is, you’ve just found out your mother isn’t your real mother, your father isn’t your real father, and now you’re living at Twilight’s castle? Wow, Di. And to think… the most exciting thing to happen to me yesterday was polishing forks with my parents for our next big delivery. If you ever fancy swapping places, I could do with a bit of drama in my life.”
“It’s not as great as it sounds, Silv. For starters, my new ‘mom’ is… how can I say this… a bit nutso. She grabbed me with her magic when I least expected it more than once, and even tried to change my name! I’m not saying she’s as bad as Spoiled, but it’ll take a while to get used to her that’s for sure. Plus, I-I miss my d-dad, whether he’s my real one or n-not…”
An animated conversation was taking place in a treehouse atop one of the tallest trees at Sweet Apple Acres between Diamond Tiara and her pals, which included Silver Spoon and three famous fillies by the name of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Such an unlikely scenario would’ve seemed preposterous just last year, but since changing her ways Diamond had found it surprisingly easy to make new friends who were willing to overlook her past transgressions to give her a second chance.
Plus, it tended to be useful having a chum who could treat everypony to a double scoop of ice cream and still have enough pocket money left over for seconds. Not that that was their primary motivation for accepting her apology, of course.
“It’s okay, Diamond. Whatever happens next, we’ll be here for ya. ‘Sides, I’m kinda jealous. I grew up without a mom… an’ you’ve got two now. Even if one of ‘em is a bit of a horror. Hey Sweetie, could ya pass me that hammer?” Apple Bloom was a bit too busy with renovating her property to focus too much on the pink filly’s predicament.
“Take it! I’d rather use magic to stack these planks, anyway. And Diamond, at least you can still see your parents whenever you want! Mine are away so often, it’s like Rarity’s become my sorrow-gut… did I say that right? Well, you know what I mean.” Sweetie Belle had been practicing her spellcasting so much of late, she was obviously falling behind in another kind of spelling.
“Pffff! You think you’ve got it bad? My parents are always globetrotting, but the one place that they don’t ‘trot’ to is to see me! I mean, my aunts are cool ‘n all, and I’ve always got Rainbow Dash to ‘shoot the breeze’ with, but I still wish they were around more!” Whenever Scootaloo got mad, her wings buzzed a little… but the others didn’t really mind. If anything, it provided for a cool waft of air on a hot day.
“Shh, you three! Can’t you see Di’s going through some major changes in her life right now, and your bickering only makes things worse?” Silver Spoon unexpectedly chastised the flippant Crusaders, pointing at the morose filly in question whilst doing so. “The least you can do is treat this topic with the seriousness it deserves, instead of making it all about you!”
“E-Er, yeah. I guess you’re right. Sorry, Diamond.” Apple Bloom stopped hammering nails into wood long enough to issue a genuine apology.
“Y-Yeah. We didn’t mean to upset you.” Sweetie Belle looked somewhat ashamed at not being more sensitive.
“J-Just because we have our problems, it doesn’t make yours any less important.” That was Scootaloo, who hoped that this awkward moment between them would soon pass.
“Thanks, guys.” Diamond spoke without looking at them, sitting down and dangling her hooves off the edge of the incomplete structure. “Gee, who’d have ever thought you’d be getting me all the way up here? I used to spray myself all over with disinfectant before going within a mile of this farm, now I’m climbing trees, getting mucky… and loving it!”
“Really.” Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow, somewhat offended by at least part of that sentence.
“That’s progress. I-I guess.” Sweetie scratched her head at the different standards for the rich.
“Hey, I thought we were talking about…” Scootaloo was used to hairpin turns on her scooter, not abrupt changes in conversation.
“Shut up! If Di wants to take a break from discussing this, that’s up to her! She has a lot to think about, so I suggest we leave her be for now!” Silver Spoon had known her bestie long enough to realise when she needed ‘a moment’, and right now was clearly one of those times. “So anyway Apple Bloom, I’m better with precious metal than the non-valuable kind, but I’ve mended fences before. Surely a treehouse can’t be that much trouble! Throw me over the saw, would you?”
A silent Apple Bloom hoofed over the tool to Silver, and together with the two other Crusaders carried on with their work, leaving Diamond Tiara to deal with her thoughts in private. They’d each decided individually to let the pink filly come to them if she needed help, as becoming more involved than they had to might just complicate the matter.
Polishing expensive cutlery and discovering ponies’ hidden destinies were one thing, but getting embroiled in acrimonious custody battles utilising complex contracts?
They may have to just sit this one out. Which, considering how most of them loved to interfere in circumstances which were none of their business, would be a tough ask indeed.
…………………………..
“...Well, Trixie thinks it’s just plain stupid! You’re telling me this secret filly of yours would rather spend a day in a dangerously high tree getting splinters stuck in her hooves, instead of having them gently massaged before being filed to perfection? Are you sure she’s related to you?”
“Yes Trixie, there’s no doubt about it. The timeline matches, and there’s no mistaking Spoiled as the mare who took her away. Another thing I can be sure of is she’d hate you insisting that you call her ‘Auntie Trixie’. It’s not going to happen, so get that thought out of your head now, ‘kay?”
Starlight and her best friend Trixie had just enjoyed a wonderfully refreshing steamy sauna together, and were now currently the lucky recipients of a massage by the muscle maestro himself, Bulk Biceps. Sadly there was only one of him, so they’d have to take their relaxation therapy in turns.
In the event though, Trixie always went first. Starlight’s determination to keep the peace benefitted her fellow unicorn whenever they went as a pair, as a ‘great and powerful’ migraine from petty squabbling would sort of defeat the object of going to the spa to relax in the first place.
Especially right now, when Starlight had enough on her plate already.
“You just wait and see! The unfathomably cool ‘Auntie Trixie’ will prove you wrong! As soon as I start bringing her one-of-a-kind gifts like white rabbits and hoofkerchiefs tied together, and treat her to free private magic shows, you’ll soon change your tune! Alakasham!!” Trixie would’ve theatrically spread her hooves wide at that point like she did on stage, put as they were currently being tenderised by Bulk’s expert administrations, such a motion was nigh-on impossible.
“Don’t you already lose enough white rabbits in your act? I’m surprised the animal welfare ponies haven’t arrested you yet. Also, I don’t think you should just be giving away your hankies with flu season coming up. I am not going to be sneezed on repeatedly again the next time we go on a long wagon ride, just because you’ve got nothing to blow your nose on! As for the magic show offer...” Starlight hesitated at this juncture, unsure of how to remind Trixie about what happened at the Ponyville schoolhouse without offending her.
“Yes, I know. Generous, isn’t it? Usually, Trixie charges five bits for adults, two for kids. That doesn’t include all the extra money I make from my rotten fruit stalls on the side, of course. They account for at least ninety percent of my takings every year, maybe more!”
“W-What…? You mean to say, you actually encourage other creatures to pelt you with mouldy produce? How long has this been going on?!”
“Trixie noticed her loyal ‘fans’ would bring their own stuff to throw at her whether she liked it or not… So I figured, why not get wealthy off of it? Plus, now I control what gets chucked at me, I can make sure it stays nice and soft and moist. One stallion brought along a melon to toss in my direction one day. What a psycho! Even worse, he didn’t even wash it first!”
‘T-That’s surprisingly ingenious, I’ll give you that. But surely, by covering you with food way past its prime, you must’ve figured out by now that some audiences might be… less than receptive to your show. How do you feel about that?”
“How does Trixie feel? Trixie feels great! She is such an unparalleled visionary in the art of performance, her sheer brilliance cannot be appreciated by today’s primitive ponies and so they must lash out! Mock her! Jeer her! Run her out of town and tell her never to return! But Trixie knows she’ll have the last laugh in the end, and do you know why?”
“I dread to ask, but… why?”
“Because she’s Trixie, and Trixie knows all!! Bwhaha…Ow, hey you musclebound moron, watch where you press those cloppers! The Cool and Generous Auntie Trixie has a beloved filly to hug like her life depended on it later, and she can’t do that if you strain one of her primary tendons! Now be gentle, or your tip will disappear like my bunnies. Whoosh!”
Starlight found herself fulfilling the familiar role of peacekeeper to Trixie’s tempestuousness, smiling apologetically at a frowning Bulk Biceps while wondering why on Equestria she’d believed her friend would listen to a single word she said.
She never has before, why should she start today? Starlight bemoaned internally, before her anxious thoughts turned unwittingly to her absent daughter again.
I wonder what Diamond’s doing right now, she pondered in earnest, lying back on her mattress. It’s going to be a long road ahead for both of us. Not just because of the very different ways we grew up, but also down to our unique… acquaintances. I hope we can somehow bridge the gaps that exist between us, and figure out to have some kind of relationship when all this is over.
…………………….
Unbeknown to Starlight at that exact moment, Diamond was thinking about that exact same subject…
And had come to a decision which would affect everything from now on.
“Ah, now that truly hit the spot!” Trixie stretched all of her most delicate muscles gingerly, whilst exiting the spa with Starlight in tow. “Trixie feels ready for an entire tour… no, make that an entire season of performance-related art! All I need now is to do half-an-hour of aerobics tonight to limber up, and my daily workout routine will be complete!”
“ “Performance-related art’? Is that your new name for pretending to cut other ponies in half with a fake saw? And I wondered why I saw you looking at discount leotards the other day…” Starlight commented with amusement, knowing that renaming her act and this new keep-fit program would last for all of a week. Trixie was great at initiating fads, not-so-good at sticking to them.
“Hmph! Scoff all you want, but Trixie is going to attract a higher end of clientele in the not-too-distant-future. And that means… maximised profits!” Trixie sniffed petulantly at her fellow unicorn’s cynicism. “Soon, I won’t have to deal with all the yokels and bumpkins I’ve been merely tolerating until now, it’ll be glasses of champagne and caviar-on-a-stick all year round! Doesn’t that just sound dreamy?”
“ For a start, that’s not how they serve caviar. And to be honest, not really. Maybe I’d have thought so once upon a time, but things have changed since then. I don’t think the affluent lifestyle is all it's cracked up to be…” Starlight frowned back, referencing her own recent troubles with two members of the aristocracy in particular. “Anyway, whatever you choose to do, you know I’ll support you one-hundred percent. Just try not to get your hopes up, always keep a sense of proportion, and…”
“Hey! Is it Starlight Glimmer talking now, or Twilight Sparkle? It’s funny: I don’t see any wings, or a miniature dragon running about bumping into things. But what you just said there could’ve come fresh from The Most Boring Alicorn In Equestria.” Trixie rolled her eyes at Starlight’s platitudinous speech there. “Look, I’m perfectly aware all my carefully-laid plans could be crushed like mouldy fruit at any given moment. But if I don’t try, how will I ever know…?”
“Wow, that’s… a surprisingly mature outlook for you, Trixie. You must’ve given this matter a lot of thought, and I really admire…”
“...And of course, if everything goes wrong, I’ll just blame it on somepony else. After all, there’s no end of hapless stooges out there. The Careful And Cautious Trixie doesn’t make mistakes, she just gets bad advice!” Trixie’s radical turning over of a new leaf was short-lived, much to the non-surprise of her companion.
“...I thought as much. Well, whatever happens, at least you’ll learn something from the experience. Or in your case, maybe not.”
Starlight’s ‘here we go again’ moment with her bestie was interrupted by a familiar pink filly running over, and the new arrival apparently had no time for trivial greetings.
“Starlight. We need to talk. Now.”
“Oh, hi there Diamond! I thought you were spending the day with your friends. If you’ve come to join us at the spa, I’m afraid you’re a bit too late…” Starlight was somewhat taken aback to see her daughter again so soon, but was very pleased she’d chosen to make their separation brief.
“No, I came because I knew you’d be finished. My pals are refurbishing our treehouse, something which I can’t claim to be very good at. I want to build businesses when I’m older, not insecure structures…”
“Oh, Trixie likes that one! I can tell you and I are going to get on like cinnamon and nuts!” Trixie chuckled at the filly’s play on words, squeezing uninvitedly between Starlight and the younger pony to offer up a blue hoof. “Hi, I’m your Auntie Trixie Lulamoon! You might remember me from such breathtaking magic shows like the one at Ponyville Schoolhouse and the Town Square. How does it feel to be the only child of the Greatest and most Powerfullest friend I’ve ever met?”
“E-Erm…” Diamond took a couple of steps backwards, understandably lost for words at this juncture.
Oh, Trixie. I warned you before that Diamond doesn’t like this kind of in-your-face style of confrontation. I learned that lesson the hard way yesterday… Starlight sighed at the other unicorn’s blatant lack of subtlety, before pushing herself back in front and smiling apologetically to a nonplussed Diamond.
“So sorry about that. Trixie doesn’t have much family, so the prospect of hanging out with us made her a little overexcited. Even more than is usual, hard to believe I know. Anyway, what did you gallop all the way down here to tell me? You look completely exhausted.”
“I am, but don’t worry about that. This is more important. And I’d prefer if we were alone.” Diamond didn’t mean to sound rude, but frankly she’d had her fill of overenthusiastic ponies trying to win her over for an entire lifetime.
Plus, in all honesty, she’d always found Trixie kind of weird. A speculative opinion which had only been strengthened the last few minutes.
“Fine, fine. You two go off and do your mother-daughter ‘thing’. Trixie knows when she’s not wanted…” Trixie pretended to put on a mock sad voice, but in reality she was a bit peeved at the outright rejection of her genial overtures. “But, little future niece, let me swear this: nopony is immune from the overpowering charms of Trixie The Magnificent! Soon, we’ll be sitting at a table together, sharing cake and bad jokes, and you’ll love it! You’ll l o v e it!!”
Trixie then flapped her scarf like a cape and made her exit stage left, making sure that her piercing laughter caught in the air long after she’d departed.
After proceedings had returned to some kind of normality, Diamond blinked once, twice, before asking the only question on her lips.
“Wait. I’m confused. About everything actually, but mostly this: Is she no longer the ‘Great And Powerful Trixie’, but ‘Trixie The Magnificent’? Are you the ‘Great And Powerful Starlight’ now, o-or…”
“Relax, Diamond. Trixie gives herself all kinds of self-aggrandising aliases all the time, and most of us just roll with it until she invents another one. It’s not like she’s hurting anypony, is she? Now… would you like to go somewhere private to discuss what you came here to see me about?”
“Y-Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” A formerly laser-focused Diamond Tiara had been sidetracked temporarily by Trixie’s pique of randomness, but after being reminded about her mission she quickly regained her composure. “Where did you have in mind?”
“Usually, I’d say Sugarcube Corner, but after that huge breakfast we had earlier, I’m not sure I could face another cupcake ever again.” There was a reason why Starlight hadn’t let Bulk Biceps massage her front belly earlier: indigestion can be a terrible, terrible condition. “Oh wait, I know! What about the large bridge in the centre of town? Sometimes I go there myself, when I need to think. I don’t know what it is about that place, but it always seems to help…”
“I think I know what you mean…” Diamond nodded in agreement, as bittersweet memories of her own tears falling in the stream below after losing the school election began flooding back to her. “It sounds ideal. Let’s head there together now, shall we? Unless you have somewhere you’d like to go first.”
“Not really. Although, I am kind of wondering what was so urgent it made you rush down here so quickly…” Starlight dared ask the question, before they’d even reached the meeting place. “Nothing is wrong, I hope?”
“No. I’m feeling much better now, thanks for asking. Although there is something you can do for me…” Diamond regarded Starlight through warm, pleading blue eyes, and it was clear that whatever this pending request was, it meant a lot to the filly.
“I see.” opined Starlight, immediately jolting herself to attention. This could be my big chance to worm my way back into her affections, after our somewhat rocky start together! Whatever she wants, short of murder, grand treason or stealing another pony’s cutie mark, I’ll be sure to agree to. For now though, I better remain calm. Don’t want her to figure out how desperate I am to win her over, or she may decide to take advantage of the situation. “And what might that be?”
“Well Starlight, I was going to ask you when we got to the bridge, but I suppose there’s no harm in telling you now. It’s about my father…”
“Who, Double Dia... I mean, Filthy Rich? What about him?”
