> Joy and Reflection
>  by Halira
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> Reflection
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Pinkie Pie stood in a circular underground grotto with smooth grey walls, magical lanterns spaced every few feet of the wall, bathed the room in something like daylight, despite being deep underground. One area of the wall had collapsed into the grotto, the results of overly-curious ponies digging around the lower levels of Harmony’s sewer system looking for fragments of the past. 

In her youth, this whole area had been part of the Everfree forest. That forest had grown much, but as it had grown, what had once been the small town of Ponyville spread into its old borders as well. So, in a sense, the forest had moved with Ponyville, evolving and being displaced into a new location by the full-grown city of Ponyopolis, which later came to be instead called by its current name: Harmony. 

Many millennia ago- when she was still a young earth pony, working at a bakery and planning parties, this pool had been deep in the Everfree Forest. The forest had grown- but then again, so had Ponyville- and so the forest instead crawled across the landscape, forever fleeing the new city of Ponyopolis. “Ponyopolis,” she sighed. “Who among us living in Harmony remember when it went by that name? Even fewer remember when it was Ponyville...maybe just me." 

This pool was an ancient relic of magic; the last trace of that it's creators ever existed. Destroying the last link to those long-forgotten ponies, if they had been ponies, would have been a travesty. Instead, it had been sealed in this hidden grotto while the city grew over it, with more and more layers expanding upon the old. By now, the grotto was very deep underground, so it surprised her that any of her little ponies had been able to find the thing. She smiled at the thought of her little ponies surprising her yet again with their misadventures. Of course, the flood of duplicate unicorns was a nuisance- but only for everyone else, and even then, it was still pretty funny. 

Her smile slipped. None of the others remembered that the pool existed. This wasn’t the only time something like that happened. Last year, Flurry Heart had come to ask her if Cadence was really her mother like most ponies said. Neither of them could remember anymore. She couldn’t ever imagine forgetting something so fundamental, but- somehow- they did. 

She never forgot anything, though; she could recall every moment of laughter, every moment of sadness, and every pony she ever met. 

That the others forgot things could be aggravating. Admittedly, she laughed like… something that laughs really hard (she was supposed to have a perfect memory, darn it; why couldn’t she think of something that laughs!?!) when twenty-nine other alicorns started wailing like banshees upon seeing a few dozen copies of the same unicorn, but she quickly stopped when she realized that some of them didn’t remember when she’d done the same thing. But all those memories were gone now; the curse of immortality was as such: you’d live forever, but your memory wouldn’t. Except for hers, anyway, which was the problem. The heart of the matter. A true jest, played by life itself!  She didn't know if it was funny or cruel -maybe it was a bit of both. Life and destiny liked to play those kinds of jokes. 

The pink alicorn spoke, smiling. "Ah, ah, ah! I bet you are wondering who the thirty alicorns are! That's a whole lot of spoilers, and I won't be telling you that." 

She gazed off in one direction, smiling and chuckling. "You think I can’t see you? I might be older, wiser, and more focused, but I still know when I have a viewer." 

Sitting on her plot, she sighed. "I guess I should give you some tidbits to play with, shouldn't I?" She chuckled to herself. "It would be pretty boring and melancholy if all we did was watch me mope about. But I’m the only one who remembers things from long ago." 

She gave another short laugh. "I think you know who some of the others are.  It is funny how much they’ve changed over the years. Sometimes, just to get a laugh, I will tell them about something they would do when they were young, and it would horrify them like I was showing off their most embarrassing baby pictures." 

"One time, Rainbow was sitting there posing for some admirers, all made up with her curls all in place in her mane, and perfect makeup, and a gown more expensive than her own house- the one with five stories and a hundred paintings, not the five-bedroom summer cottage--and Rarity was sitting there scolding her for being such a diva. The whole time Rarity was covered in dirt and grime, with mud caked in her mane, because she had just returned from helping some earth ponies with some farming. Rarity gets so frustrated with Rainbow's need to be perfectly primmed and pretty all the time." Her reflection in the pool lost its wings and horn. "If only their younger selves could see themselves now. That would be a funny joke." The image reverted to normal. 

"They may not remember themselves as they were long ago, but I tell them about it.” She sighed. “ Rainbow will simply refuse to believe she was ever a competitive tomboy, who cared more for her athletic prowess than for her appearance. She went on about how she could never have been so uncouth. The others always laugh when she does that, and since I can't let Rainbow feel like she’s being picked on, I will make a point of going on about how she got her fashion sense from Rarity."

She slowly walked across the dusty floor, eyes focused a thousand yards ahead and a thousand years past. "When they became alicorns, Rainbow was suddenly the world’s fastest, most agile flyer. There was no more motivation for her, no one who could be better than her, no one who could even pose a challenge! Some ponies thought that the rainboom meant that she went eight times faster than sound, because of the weird way flying magic acts at the sound barrier. But when you actually can do that…” she stopped pacing and looked into the pool. From here, she could see the tip of her pink horn.  “Rarity taught her a new way to be competitive, trying to be the most beautiful--for even mortal ponies can challenge an alicorn in that. Competition was what Rainbow Dash was seeking, and so with time, she gave up stunts and races for makeup and dresses. The Rainbow I knew long ago is still in there, but she would not recognize herself."

A chuckle escaped her lips, and she began walking toward the pool. "Even as Rarity drifted away from behaving in such a way. Rarity, of course, will turn a surprising shade of scarlet when I tell her about how she was once the diva, while Rainbow will goad her with requests to do her mane and makeup, like the old days. It’s a lot of laughs for everyone." She stopped at the shore of the pool, seeing her mirror image. “That’s why I do it,” she finally said. 

She studied her reflection, remembering her hijinks with it long ago. At least one of her clones survived and had a full life. She'd tracked her clone's family for generations until it became too daunting a task for even her, but she'd considered them hers in some small way. Perhaps the pony that had broken in here was some distant descendant. That would be a funny coincidence. Thoughts of that brought another family to mind.

"Everyone has changed to some extent. Applejack spends most of her time in the courts now. Her country accent vanished centuries ago, and I haven’t heard a country-ism in -what? Three years? Somehow, though, those still pop up on rare occasions. I've told her about how she used to talk in the past, and she laughs and will try to speak with a country accent in reply. She isn't very good at it anymore, and I’m pretty sure most country farmers would roll their eyes at her horrendous attempts at trying to mimic their accents--" she paused and giggled. "Not that current country accents sound anything like they did when we were young! I wonder how those old stuffy nobles from back then would feel to know their accent is now considered rustic and rural?"

She watched her smile slowly slide from her face in the pool. "She long since lost track of the Apple clan. Not because she stopped caring about family, but because with all the ponies marrying and moving and marrying elsewhere, I doubt there is a pony in Equestria that doesn’t have Apple family blood running in their veins. Maybe some isolated pegasus settlements, but I doubt even they avoided intermarriage with the Apples at some point. So, all of Equestria is part of her family, and all her little ponies. Being her distant cousin, I guess all of them are my family as well, even though my own sisters' bloodlines cover much of Equestria as well in some form or another." 

Images of countless millions of ponies passed before her eyes unbidden. There were so many friends she had made over the years. They had all been deeply important to her. The vast majority of them were only dust now. Not even their graves remained.

Tears threatened to break loose, even as her smile returned. "In truth, it can be hard getting very attached to ponies. They are born, they grow up, they marry, they have fillies and colts of their own, they become grandparents, and then they pass on--all in the blink of an eye. Some of my fellow alicorns have grown detached from everyone else because of this, so I have to remind them of all the laughter and joy they brought us. It is part of my job, being the one who remembers and is responsible for spreading joy. Memories remind us of all the joy we had and can still have, even if there is sadness while laughing about times long past. Joy is funny like that; it can't exist if you don't accept the sadness too."

Her ear flicked, and she looked upward at something out of sight. "I spent many-a-night recounting stories of Granny Smith and Big Mac to Applejack. She will laugh at them, and then get a little sad because she can no longer remember them herself. I tell her that it is my job to make sure all that happiness is never forgotten, and she shouldn't be sad because she has had so many happy moments throughout her life, as I list off more examples from more recent memories that I know she shall recall. We laugh about those as well, but I can't help feeling a bit sad, because I know she’ll forget those as well. She’ll forget the stories; then she’ll forget the ponies, then even me telling the stories. She’ll forget that she wanted to remember. That is her blessing and my curse." 

Pinkie Pie fell silent as she sat gazing at the pool. An extended few minutes of silence passed before she got up and walked to the water's edge. 

“That is how immortality is bearable. You don't need to cry for those you can't remember anymore...” she said finally, lighting up her horn. It grew brighter, bathing the grotto in a pink glow, overpowering even the lanterns, until the spell finally finished. The water in the pool was gone, leaving only a pony-sized depression in the cold stone floor. 

"All things must eventually fade to memory and be forgotten," she said, marveling at how her twin sister would have sounded lively in comparison, had she given the same line. 

Oh Marble, how she missed her! She still remembered her sister's shy smile. She could still recall her sister with joy as if she had only spoken to her yesterday, but she had to accept her sister had been dead longer than recorded history. There was so much pain from so many lost friends, yet so many happy memories.

"Pinkie Pie?" Applejack called out as she walked in through the opening in the wall. The large orange alicorn carefully stepped through the rubble of the opening while glancing around the grotto. "I came down to check on you. You’ve been down here a while. I didn't realize how deep down this place was when you were telling us about it. Who were you talking to? Are you okay?" she asked as she frowned slightly. 

Pinkie smiled at her. "Just an old mare talking to herself, AJ." 

Applejack cocked her head to her side as if listening to something more than Pinkie’s words.  "I caught a bit of a small lie on that. You sure no one else was here?" 

Pinkie laughed. "No one else was here. I just got nostalgic coming down here and seeing this thing again," she said through her giggles. Then, her smile and her laugh ceased. "I do feel so very old and tired sometimes, and I just have to tell someone about how I’m feeling." 

Applejack floated some of the rubble from the entrance down into the depression in the ground. "Pinkie, you look as ageless as the rest of us, and you’re still the one most quick to laugh. I don't know how old I am, and I  don't really want to know, but knowing that you remember everything has to be tough. You know you can always talk to me, or one of the others, or even one of our subjects." 

Pinkie picked herself from the ground. "I know, but sometimes I need a different type of ear," she giggled, "or eye to vent to." 

Applejack stared for a moment and then shook her head. "I have no idea what you’re talking about with eyes, but I’ve long ago accepted you will always be an enigma." 

Pinkie came up and wrapped a wing around the other alicorn. "Some things just never change."