Chapter One
Mornings are an absolute horror of a thing, for me especially. I've never really been one to get up at seven - or even earlier in the morning, for the simple reason that it was a requirement of school. But I had to be ready for classes, and I rather liked having some free time. And so, here I was, awake at eight - or was it nine? - thanks to my alarm clock, which was of course set to go off every thirty minutes or so.
Today was just another day where I couldn't sleep through the damned thing, despite the fact that I didn't have any classes at this time. Something about other kids turning into small horses all across the world. And no, I am not joking.
Apparently, people all across the world are turning into polychromatic cartoon horses in their sleep. What the heck even is that? I for one, find it absolutely ridiculous and am fairly certain it's just some elaborate prank by 4chan or Reddit. At least, that's how I was feeling when I finally woke up half past eight. With a grumbling roll, I swiped my hand at the alarm clock and heard a literal crack and crunch noise come from it.
With my eyes bleary from sleep, I opened them and stared through a half open lid at the offending device. Something long and golden-yellowish, maybe orange, was laid out from the blankets and blurrily approached where my alarm clock sat. Squinting my eyes and blinking them rapidly to clear them, it became clear that this thing was the cause of the sound my alarm clock had made. What wasn't clear was what the damn thing was. A bat? I moved my arm and, oddly enough, the thing moved too.
I likely sat there for at least ten minutes moving the appendage, thanking whoever knows that I had no roommate. Flexing it again made me acutely aware of the fact my blankets covered a lot smaller of a body. I moved the appendage and lifted the blanket to see... Well, Dan, it would seem you are, in fact, a bloody horse. I snorted and laid back before letting out my most aggravated sigh. Finally sitting up, I noted that some very colorful hair dropped in front of my eyes.
"...My lord, do I have bacon hair?" I asked out loud as I stared at the offending strands. They were indeed a yellow and red alternating stripe pattern. Lifting up that hoof from before, I pushed the hair around a bit. Finally, I started cursing as loudly as one probably would in this instances. I also registered another new fact
"AND NOW I'M A BLOODY MARE!" Another, and still loud, series of violent curses emanated from my lips as I dragged myself over to the edge of the bed. The impending fall I could feel in my gut took place as I made an attempt to walk. Trying to treat it like you're actually on all fours, which includes feet, didn't work. Moving like I was crawling, however, seemed to give me an acceptable movement range. One that was more than happy to use in order to move myself across the room.
Climbing shakily into the chair that sat in front of the desk, I cursed loudly as I realized that typing with hooves was basically impossible. Bloody ponies, who couldn't it have been like a furry or something? I sighed again and bit into a pencil, which tasted absolutely disgusting and I highly recommend against it. A few clacks and frustrating typos later, the screen booted up and let me onto the actual desktop. At least hooves could move around a mouse, I mused as I clicked onto Internet Explorer. As for those of you who are judging, Chrome sucks and crashes painfully often.
YouTube booted up rather quickly and I scanned my feed. The entire website was flooded with hundreds of pony videos of varying kinds. The majority of them were clips of ponies walking that the uploader had managed to catch, which while annoying, were fairly relevant to my needs. If I was going to continue as normally as possible, I was going to need to learn to walk like a pony. And, very anticlimactically it was easier than the first time. Apparently, I still had some level of muscle memory for how these legs were supposed to walk.
I spent the next few minutes trotting around the room, or walking, in order to make sure I wasn't going to fall flat my face anymore. Or at all. After the happy dance I was basically doing, I turned back to the computer and leapt up into the chair. Another few clicks led me back to the home page, where a list of videos that mimicked the ones I had just watched were suggested. The single difference was the one pertaining to an announcement, the exact announcement I had already seen in class.
A large alabaster horse, pegacorn or something, stood on a stage, while next to her a somewhat smaller blue pegacorn stood. "Celestia" was the so-called original ruler of this country called Equestria, and she was apparently also Lauren Faust, the woman who had created the "My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic" series. The other horse had supposedly been one of the voice actresses, but this was not what concerned me. What concerned me was that, all of this had happened a few months ago. Classes had been cancelled since yesterday, but why...
I turned my gaze to the lower corner of the computer, fairly certainly it had been but a few days since this had all happened.
That's what I expected, but definitely not what I got. The month and day were completely wrong, that's what I kept telling myself. Something was wrong, and it had to be the date on my computer. Shaking my head, I switched tabs and opened my best bet, which happened to be my email. Despite a change in date, you can't make up fake dates on emails without making an effort. Taking a deep breath, I looked at my inbox and promptly yelled.
"WHAT THE HELLS."
User Inbox: 436 Unread
On a cloud far up in the sky where a speck of pink wouldn't be noticed by anyone, except maybe skydivers, a creature of exceptionally odd appearance was lounging happily as he tossed a small red bird at a pink cloud to his left. A few blips of noise, and the creature pumped one of its claws into a raised fist "NEW HIGHSCORE!" he laughed, pulling the shades down from his eyes.
Tossing them to the side, he stood up and cracked his back before looking down. "Excellent, she's awake" The creature giggled hysterically before tossing a handful of the red birds down at the tiny building on the earth below. A significant crack and the creature walked in a loop as he unraveled and promptly vanished from sight.
I had naught but a few moments to hyperventilate, before a veritable rain of red and feathers pelted me on the head. The oddest noise filled the room and I looked to my feet to find a bunch of small, ball shaped red birds. They would've been comedic if it were not for the fact they had begun jumping at me. The sharp peck of beaks caused me to yelp and scrambled, probably rather ridiculously, out of the desk chair and onto the floor.
Another scramble of hooves, a face plant, and a series of exceptionally creative curses later, I had managed to get to the door and kick it open. Slamming it shut, I could hear the sounds of the damnable things pelting it and leaned back. A loud pant had ensued and I still had yet to register as to what happened before the RA came sprinting around the corner. "DAMN IT, WHICH ONE OF YOU-"
The RA and I made eye contact.
"Who the hell are you?"