Sweet Nothings
"I think it's cute that you two still celebrate Hearts & Hooves Day," Velvet Step said, shooting a playful grin at Sunbeam and Pepper Ridge. "I'll keep Red at my place tonight so you can spend some quality time together." She scooped the foal up into her embrace and nuzzled her nose to his. "Doesn't that sound great? A slumber party with your big sister?"
Red Velvet reached his hooves up to pat her cheeks. "Si-Si!"
Sunbeam kept her smile in place. Red never did that with her, but now wasn't the time to be jealous. She was, for the record, as jelly as jam.
Velvet giggled and nuzzled him once more, then looked up to her parents. "I'll be sure to bring him by late in the morning. Have fun tonight!"
Sunbeam beamed her usual happy smile that masked her eagerness for Velvet to leave. "Okay, cookiechip! Make sure he gets to bed on time, and don't feed him too many sweets!"
"And please stop winking," Pepper said with a soft chuckle. "We're your parents."
Oh! Brilliant husband! That would chase Velvet off in no time. She'd have to give him a special treat for that.
After a pause, Velvet's nose scrunched up. "Okay, wow, way to ruin it, Dad. Things just went from weirdly cute to gross." She shifted Red to set him on her back and trotted for the door. "Let's get out of here before they start making kissy faces!"
"Ki-ssy!" Red sing-songed as Velvet carried him away. "Ki-ssy!"
Once the door shut behind her, the room went still and silent as they waited. Waited with their picture-perfect smiles until it was clear that they were alone—that was when they sprang into action to capitalize on the moment.
Pepper shot forward to flip the lock on the door while Sunbeam pulled the pins out of her mane to let the curly blonde tresses fall to her shoulders.
"Kids are gone," Pepper said, turning his head to smile at her, his golden eyes the very essence of honey. Honey that had been given tender love by a whole swarm of horny bees. "It's just the two of us."
"Okay, studmuffin." Sunbeam turned toward the bedroom, swishing her tail to remind him who was in charge and why. Her, of course! Because she had the better swish. "I'll get the naughty sheets on the bed while you get the goodies."
A quick puff of air escaped Pepper's nostrils, an adorable sound between delight and anticipation. "I'll be right there."
Sunbeam hummed to herself as she crossed the threshold and began to strip the bed. The nice linens were not for tonight, the one night out of the year where they would completely let loose. No Velvet to get grossed out and complain for days. No Red to learn about the dirty things adult ponies did. Just a wife, a husband, and hours to do whatever they wanted.
And oh, did she know what she wanted right then!
A shiver of anticipation ran down her spine as she tucked in the last corner and smoothed out the wrinkles. There would be no evidence of what was about to happen. These were just cheap sheets purchased for one night and then sent off to the local vet's office as bedding for the animals—not unlike themselves, just a different kind of animal.
The comforter tossed aside and the pillows prepared, Sunbeam draped across the bed, angling herself in view of the door. Her heart fluttered with excitement as she licked her lips. The condo was so quiet she could have heard a crumb drop. Pepper was taking his sweet, sweet time.
He was teasing her. Making her wait. Well, she was a patient mare, and they had all night.
Finally, Pepper came into view, the bulging bag of their secret pleasures on his back. He leaned against the door frame and looked at her through half-lidded eyes. "Are you ready?"
Sunbeam flicked her tail in feigned carelessness, shifted to stretch out on her side, and patted the space beside her. "Get over here, sexycake."
Pepper trotted forward and climbed onto the bed, lowering his head to capture her lips in his. Warmth spread throughout her body from the simple gesture, as if an oven had opened to waft hot air over her face and chest.
"Give it to me," she whispered against him, patience falling and eagerness rising.
"As you wish, my darling wife." He leaned to the side so that the bag fell off his back.
It toppled over to spill its forbidden contents into plain sight: bags of cheesy puffs, bottles of fizzy drinks, and more than a baker’s dozen kinds of packaged sweet treats. These weren’t the wholesome goods they made every day in Sunridge Sweets; these were made wholesale, shipped in bulk, and void of love.
They were everything she and Pepper shouldn't have and shouldn't want, but did and oh-so-did.
Sunbeam wasted no time in grabbing a bag of cheesy puffs, tearing it open, and stuffing a hoofful in her mouth. It was such an artificial flavor of cheese that she could hardly believe the bag advertised them as cheesy.
There was an art to eating them, too. Just chomping down didn’t result in perfect satisfaction! No, they had to be nibbled carefully, like a foal savoring their favorite candy.
Unfortunately for her taste buds, she didn’t have the willpower to savor. She was two cookies away from an entire mental crumble.
"Oh sweet Celestia." She didn't care that she was talking with her mouth full or that orange powder was definitely all over her muzzle. Being sexy was overrated when indulging in gluttony. "Sweet, sweet Celestia. I forgot how good these are!"
"And so bad," Pepper teased as he unwrapped a cream-filled snack cake and shoved the whole thing in his mouth. A muffled sound of pleasure rumbled in his chest while white cream dribbled down his chin.
Fondness bubbled up in Sunbeam's chest—or perhaps that was the cherry fizzy drink she had just downed in one go. It was hard to tell, but she knew she felt warm and fuzzy as she gazed at her husband with cream all over his muzzle.
"Do you remember our first Hearts and Hooves together?" Sunbeam asked, fumbling with the bag in front of her to ensure it was empty before moving on to the next conquest.
"Yeah." He licked his lips to get some of the cream in the least attractive way possible, then settled into a smile. "You wanted to go to a fancy restaurant and order a chocolate fountain."
It had been a wonderful date. She smiled at the memory of her younger self fulfilling the dream she’d had for so many years: visiting every high-class restaurant in town, finding the best chocolate fountain, and making a hot piece of hoof candy pay for it all.
She sighed wistfully and tilted her head back to look up at the ceiling. "I wonder if they still serve those anymore?"
"Probably not after a crazy-eyed mare dragged a poor, innocent stallion all around Manehattan screaming about how there wasn't enough chocolate to sate her chocolust." He picked up a candy bar and peeled its wrapper back, took a bite, and continued, "How many chocolate fountains did you devour that night?"
"Seven," she replied with a proud puff of her chest. "And I'd do it again if I likely wasn't on a list somewhere. Some mean pony is probably looking at a picture of my chocolate-covered face and dreading the day my hunger returns."
Pepper grinned and held out the half-eaten candy. "There, there, crazy eyes. Have a Nickers. You're a loony when you're chocohungry."
Sunbeam shot him a grin in return and leaned out to chomp at the bar. The milk chocolate was so sweet and rich, and the caramel! The peanuts! They could make a cupcake like this, but even better, she was sure of it.
After she swallowed the mouthful of unhealthy goodness, she fluttered her lashes and flashed a sugary little smile. "Better?"
"Much." He finished off the Nickers bar and tossed the empty wrapper over his shoulder with the others. "Why can't we do this every night?"
"Because we'd be the size of that cake you made last week for Tea Slice, silly!" Sunbeam gathered up the empty bag of cheesy puffs and breathed in their delicious scent.
Pepper's ears fell flat to the sides and he muttered, "You realize that was just Princess Celestia in a giant hat, right?"
Sunbeam gasped and hugged the bag close to her chest. "Don't invoke her name, or she'll come take our sweets away!"
They stared at one another before laughing and continuing their ravenous rampage. Soon, there was more litter than food, and sated satisfaction began to set in. Sunbeam smacked her lips contentedly, then belted out to the tune of Beethoofen's Fifth Symphony, "I–love–junk–food—!"
Pepper's ears shot up and his lips curled into a grin as he parroted back, "I–love–junk–food—!"
"I love junk food," she continued, her tempo rising, and her hoof reaching for another bag.
Pepper swallowed another snack cake to quickly continue, "I love junk food!"
They sang their back-and-forth until the song rose to its climax, at which point their heads snapped to the sides so that they grinned at each other and exclaimed together, "I—love—food!"
It only took a moment of silence before they burst into laughter, interrupted by Pepper releasing the most unseemly belch. The sound hit her first, followed by the smell. Oh, the smell! There weren’t any words for how bad it was!
Sunbeam gurgled in dismay as she fell over to bury her face in the pillow to escape the attack on her senses. "Pep!" she cried, her voice muffled. "Seriously!"
"Sorry," he said sheepishly.
"Snack cakes, chocolate bars, and lemon fizz?" Sunbeam snorted to try to clear the combination of smells out of her nose, burying her face further into the pillow. "Awful!"
His gentle yet firm hoof landed on her back to give a reassuring pat. "Your breath doesn't smell any better, cheesy cherry princess."
She shot upright with a loud gasp. Did she look offended? She was trying to, though she didn’t mind being called princess at all! He was starting a war, though, so she needed to look the part. "Excuse me? Are you saying my breath smells?"
"Takes a foul-breathed mare to know a foul-breathed stallion." He jerked back to avoid the pillow she swung at him, his eyes going wide. "Hey!"
"Oh, don't you 'hey' me, snarkypants!" Sunbeam readied the pillow in both hooves, this time with intent to smash. "You started this, so I'm going to finish it!" Before she could take aim, he started to laugh, catching her off-guard. "What's so funny?"
Pepper waved a hoof. "I—" He snorted and snickered. "The—" He put his other hoof on his stomach and doubled over, his attempts at speech devolving into laughter.
And it was infectious, because the sight of him falling apart sent her into a giggle fit of her own. The pillow fell so her hooves were free to clutch her sides that ached with how hard she laughed. What was so funny was a mystery, but his amusement was enough to spark the same feeling within her.
Pepper wheezed, and Sunbeam gasped for air. They grabbed each other's hooves and squeezed, tears in their eyes, unspoken pleas for the other to calm down so they could follow suit. But there was no stopping a giggle fit once it started. No, they would have to ride it out. On their sides, now, because they had both fallen over.
Finally, Pepper managed to say, "Last—year—" He sucked a breath in, held it, and sputtered, "Last year we—we fought like this—!"
"That's what—what we're laughing about?!" Sunbeam swatted at him, but missed and hit a half-eaten snack cake instead. "That's so—so dumb!"
Pepper nodded, his face half-buried in scattered chocolate wrappers. "I know!"
Sunbeam scrunched up her nose and snorted. "You're dumb!"
"I know!"
When they settled on their respective sides of the bed—giggles falling into occasional snickers that subsided into soft breaths—their gazes locked and, for a while, there was nothing but each other. She could stare into his eyes for the rest of her life and be content to see nothing else ever again.
His face was a little long compared to her own, with clearly defined cheeks and a jaw that she could crack an egg on. She loved the swish of white in his red mane and tail, and the way his coat looked like freshly toasted bread. He smiled at her, and her heart fluttered with all sorts of sugar, spice, and everything nice. Could she love her stallion any more than she already did?
Yes, actually, she could—because every day they were together, she fell in love with him more and more.
Sunbeam smiled and wriggled forward, ducking her head to tuck it under his chin. "I love you, Peppersnap," she whispered against his neck.
Pepper looped his forelegs around her to pull her closer. "I love you, too. Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Sugarbeam."