> The Tryst
>  by Hooves Like Jagger
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Operation 1:  Don't Break the Law
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------









“Planet… Planet!  Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, sure,” Planet Diver Dash mumbled as he glided lazily alongside his older sister.  He'd heard her lecture enough already, not that he'd ever actually listened to it in the first place.  Rainbow Dash couldn’t scowl more at the stallion if she wanted to, but so far no amount of chiding from any party yielded desirable results.

“Can’t you at least pretend to be grateful?” Rainbow Dash grunted, swooping down in front of him.  Planet Diver snorted and dipped under her, continuing along in the dimming sunlight.  “Okay, that’s it!  Everypony land, now!” Rainbow Dash became a technicolor blur as she streaked towards the ground.  Planet Diver looked up at the third pony he was flying with.  His brother Sun Spot Dash, known as Sunny to his friends and family and Sunny D to his fans, chuckled and shook his head.  

Even if they were born at the same time, the ponies couldn’t be more different.  Planet Diver’s toned, marble colored coat and deep, purple mane set him far apart from his brother.  If Sunny D’s tan coat and red-and-orange streaked, afro mane weren’t enough to set them apart, Sunny D’s signature, golden “D” chain and stunner sunglasses snuffed out any suspicion that the two were even remotely related.

“Better do as she says, dude.  You’re in enough trouble already, don’t you think?” Sunny D swooped down after their sister, but not at a speed near as breakneck as she had descended with.  It was ridiculous to think a pegasus as laid back as Sunny D would be able to keep up with an experienced Wonderbolt.  

Planet Diver was a slightly different case.  Instead of swooping down with his wings spread, he pointed his nose straight down and tucked his wings in.  With a look of apathy, he plummeted from the sky, passing Sunny on the way down.  Just as the ground became dangerously close, Planet Diver spread his wings and did a graceful, upwards arc before fluttering his wings until his hooves were on the ground.  Rainbow Dash was already on the ground, tapping her hoof impatiently.  She didn’t wait for Sunny D to arrive before leaning into Planet Diver.

“Dad and I have been nothing but helpful, even though we should have disowned you after what you did, after what you tried to do!  You’d better start showing a little gratitude before you tempt me to succeed where you failed!” Rainbow Dash fumed.  Planet Diver hardly looked impressed by the display, but Sunny was wearing a distraught look as he swooped down.

“C’mon sis, don’t be so hard on the guy.”  Sunny nudged her playfully.  Rainbow Dash turned and glared at Sunny.  Sunny smiled sheepishly and backed up towards Planet Diver, deciding he’d better change his allegiance.

“Just apologize, dude.  She has a point.”

“I never asked to be helped.”  Planet Diver didn’t take his eyes off Rainbow Dash.  She continued to frown at him, escalating things into a war of attrition.  Not willing to become a casualty, Sunny D backed off from both ponies.

“You’re not in a position to turn us down.  You wouldn’t last very long if we let you be,” Rainbow Dash argued.

“I’d get along just fine,” Planet Diver issued his rebuttal.

“Right, you’d just steal what you need,” Rainbow Dash sneered.

“I’m a thief, so what?”

“Not to mention a murderer.”

“… I didn’t murder anypony.”

“Not from lack of trying!  You’re a crook, and that’s the end of it!”

“Fine!” Planet Diver stamped his hoof and turned about.

“Fine!” Rainbow Dash did the same.  Silence followed as Celestia finished putting the sun beneath the horizon.  Luna’s full moon began creeping its way into the sky, dimly lighting the three ponies.  “C’mon… we’re going to be late now.”

“Whatever,” Planet Diver grumbled.  Rainbow Dash turned around and trotted past him towards the lights of Ponyville in the distance.  Planet Diver plodded along after her.  Only Sunny took to his wings, attempting to lighten the mood a bit before they arrived at their destination halfway between their current position and Ponyville.

“So… Rainy… remind me again about this little sock-hop?”  Sunny made an attempt to redirect the conversation to something that wasn’t depressing.

“It’s not a sock-hop, Horn-dog.  It’s just a little celebration.  The son of a good friend of mine is getting married to the daughter of a good friend of mine.  It’s an engagement party, so let me point out the future bride before you start hitting on everypony.”

“Oh, Rainy,” Sunny chuckled.  “I’m not gonna hit on everypony, just the mares!  Right, Diver?”  Sunny looked over at Planet Diver.  He did not look like he was in the mood for humor, good or bad.  “Oooookay… so… Rainy, your friends have kids old enough to jump the broom?  You’re a bit behind, don’t you think?”  Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

“Mom had you, Diver, and JC when she was older than I am right now.  I’ve got plenty of time to have a kid.”  Sunny and Planet Diver were parts one and two to a set of triplets.  Jenday Conure Dash, who greatly preferred JC, was the youngest of the triplets and a dead-ringer for their mother.  The triplets had been born when Rainbow Dash was slightly older than they are now.

“Well, your friends are married and their kids are getting married, so don’t you think you should do the same?” Sunny prodded.  Rainbow Dash furrowed her brow.  She was beyond tired of being asked these questions, and she was especially tired of being asked these questions by Sunny.

“Shut up, Sunny.”  Sunny knew better than to continue speaking when his oldest sister told him to shut up.  He dropped back, deciding he’d rather suffer Planet Diver’s bad mood than Rainbow Dash’s.

“Sounds like it’s gonna be a sweet little party.  There’ll probably be some pretty good looking mares.  You should take this opportunity to get… acquainted,” Sunny snickered.  He himself had every intention of getting very acquainted with somepony tonight, maybe two someponies.

“Sunny, that’s the farthest away from what I want right now.”  Planet Diver wouldn’t budge from his gloom and doom.

“Aww, c’mon Diver!  A mare can work wonders on a stallion’s problems!”

“It’s not a wonder, Sunny.  It’s called multiplication,” Diver grunted.  “I just want to lay low and get through this, okay?” Diver snapped at his brother, turning his head slightly to leer at him.

“Okay, okay.”  Sunny backed off.  Planet Diver turned his gaze back to the dirt path.  The sounds of merrymaking started to grow louder as the path began to get brighter.  Planet Diver looked up.  In the midst of a vast forest of apple trees, there sat a large barn.  Inside its white, picket fence and red walls there were ponies conversing, dancing, and eating.  Planet Diver was happy to see that there were enough ponies around that he’d be able to stay hidden.

“Whoa!  My babe-dar is telling me that we have arrived!” Sunny exclaimed, landing and trotting ahead of Rainbow Dash.

“Sunny, if you’re going to act like that, you’re not related to me.”

“C’mon Rainy!”  Sunny doubled back and trotted alongside his sister.  “I need you for my six degrees!  I’ve never met these ponies before.”

“That’s not entirely true.  I’m pretty sure you’ve met some of them before.  I know I brought you down to Sweet Apple Acres at least once when you were little.”  Rainbow Dash tried to conjure up the memory from thirteen years ago.

“I know we’ve been to Ponyville, but we just hung around your place or flew around the airspace.  I’m sure I would have remembered coming to a farm,” Sunny stated, dismissing the notion of ever meeting anypony in Ponyville.  “What about you, Diver?  Got any memories of being down on the farm?”

“Yeah, I remember coming here.”

“Wait, what?  Seriously?”

“It was probably a more memorable experience for me,” Planet Diver explained.  It may have been a long time ago, but Sweet Apple Acres would forever hold a certain amount of significance to Planet Diver.  Until he’d come here, he’d never been kissed by anypony other than his mother.  He was too young to appreciate it back then, but when he got older he relished in the knowledge that a filly had kissed him, even if just on the nose.

There was no time for Planet Diver to reminisce at the moment.  The eldest sister brought the brothers through the wooden gate and into the party.  Their approach must have been noted because Rainbow Dash was instantly surrounded by four other mares her age.  Sunny and Planet Diver watched as she greeted and chattered excitedly with faces they’d only seen in her photo albums.

“I suppose congratulations are in order!” Rainbow Dash laughed, throwing her forelegs around Fluttershy and Rarity.

“Oh, I really didn’t do anything,” Fluttershy pointed out, averting her eyes and blushing.

“Please dear, we pushed those ponies out of our bodies.  That’s quite enough reason to congratulate us,” Rarity assured her.

“Anyway, this is quite the party, wouldn’t y’all say? Spent all day settin’ up.”  It was obvious Applejack was fishing for compliments, but nopony could argue against her.

“Yes, yes, it’s very nice Applejack.  You all did a good job setting up.”  Twilight had been assuring her of this all night, but she’d also been quick to remind her she had plenty of help.  “I’m sure if Pinkie Pie could be here, she would be impressed.”  The mention of the group’s absent member caused a somber silence to ensue.  Hooves shuffled awkwardly as everypony avoided eye contact.  It had been a few years, but the party pony’s departure was still a sensitive subject for a group so closely knit.

“You heard the latest news on her, right?” Rarity piped up, causing the group's spirits to return.  “Her airship was over Trottingham a few days ago.  Every pastry was pilfered, there isn’t a speck of confectioner’s sugar left, and as usual there are a handful of ponies who’ve gone missing.”

“Trottingham?  Last I heard her ship raided Manehattan in broad daylight.  They still haven’t finished cleaning up all the streamers,” Twilight reminded everypony.  “As much as I want to see her again, I don’t know how keen I am on having her visit Ponyville.”  There were nods of agreement all around.

“Anyway, I need to introduce you all to my brothers, Sunny and Planet Diver.”  Rainbow Dash stepped aside and revealed Planet Diver standing by himself behind her.  “Where’s Sunny?” she whispered.

“I don’t know.  He went off somewhere,” Planet Diver grumbled.  Rainbow Dash grunted and wondered why Sunny even wanted to tag along to Ponyville.  Planet Diver alone was too much pony to look after right now.

“I gotta go find Sunny, so just meet Planet Diver.  I’m guessing you don’t really need an introduction.”  Rainbow Dash trotted off into the party to find out which poor mare Sunny had set his sights on.  Planet Diver stood around as Rainbow Dash’s friends eyed him cautiously.  Even if they all didn’t read the paper regularly, front page news gets around fast enough by word of mouth.  Only one pony spoke to him.

“Mighty fine tah see y’all again, Planet Diver.  There’s some refreshments over yonder if yer feelin’ a little hungry,” Applejack offered.  Planet Diver nodded and excused himself, causing the other three mares to exchange a few more anxious looks.

Planet Diver didn’t care much about what anypony else thought about his sudden infamy.  They had a right to be frightened and suspicious.  He didn’t feel like dealing with suspicious or frightened ponies though, so even though he didn’t want to eat he had decided to take the escape route.  He found an isolated chair in the corner and slouched into it.

“What a hassle,” he sighed.  If he could have things his way, he’d be in Las Pegasus whittling what little he had left away.  It was the most desirable option considering he couldn’t return home.  He stared down at his hooves, wishing to be anywhere but Ponyville.

"I beg yer pardon, but do I know y'all?" Planet Diver looked up from his hooves.  He didn't recognize the mare who was talking to him.

"You probably saw my face in the paper," Planet Diver mumbled, looking back down at the ground.

"I don't read the paper.  I figure if somethin' important is happenin', somepony will take it upon themselves to tell me," the mare retorted.  "That aside, I never forget a face.  Just give me a moment, it'll come back to me."  Planet Diver peered back up at the mare who was rubbing one of her temples in an attempt to force the memory out.  She still looked unfamiliar, but then Planet Diver took another look.

It was only because he'd recently been made to remember the incident, but the vision of the grass green filly with the messy yellow-green mane flashed through his mind.  Standing before him now was that same filly, but as a fully grown mare.  He wracked his brain for a name.

"...Pippin?" Planet Diver ventured a guess.  Pippin's eyes brightened as she put her hoof back down.  She leaned forward until the two ponies could almost touch eyeballs.

"So I have met y'all!  Shucks, I wish I'd remembered first.  Remind me what yer name is."

"Planet Diver, Planet Diver Dash."  Pippin's eyes shrunk in shock as she quickly jumped back.

"Well I'll be... how long has it been?  Thirteen, almost fourteen years?" Pippin observed.

"Just about.  I'm surprised you remember me."  Pippin's brow furrowed as she put her face up in Planet Diver's again.

"Now what's that supposed to mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything I didn't say."

"Well, the only reason I remember y'all is because I went and gave you that kiss," Pippin confessed without a moment's hesitation.  Planet Diver blushed and glanced around at the other party goers.  "Y'all aren't tryin' to say I was loose or nothin', are ya?"

"Noooo, no, no, no," Planet Diver assured her.  "It was just a long time ago and neither of us really look the same."

"Well, we ain't kids, but we ain't that different," Pippin argued.  Planet Diver disagreed.  He knew he had changed quite a bit, but it was blatantly obvious to Planet Diver that Pippin had grown up.  She was taller, her mane was longer, and she had more mare-like curves to her body.  All around she was much more mature and feminine.

Planet Diver caught himself checking her out.  He stopped himself, reminded that he had no place for that anymore.  Still, he couldn't stop his eyes or his brain.  She was attractive, and thus Planet Diver began fighting a hopeless moral battle.

"Trust me, we've changed a lot," Planet Diver reiterated.  Pippin stared up at him for a moment, not blinking or saying anything.

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked.

"Depends on what the favor is."

"Meet me behind the barn in... five minutes or so.  I wanna show y'all somethin'."

"You're not going to kiss me on the nose are you?" Planet Diver let the joke slip out.  He began kicking and screaming in his brain, telling himself he can not, should not, and will not hit on this mare now or ever.  He expected Pippin to have a similar reaction, but to his great surprise she smiled.

"Why don't you come an' find out?  I'll see you there."  Planet Diver stood transfixed as she strode off.  He was at war with himself.  One side was celebrating, happy to no end that she had not only accepted the advance, but actually flirted right back.  The other side told him not to go.  He was a criminal, and criminals should not get involved with nice mares like her.  The first side contested that just because he was a criminal didn't mean he couldn't go talk with this mare for a while.  Besides, he was going to be in Ponyville for a while so he might as well make a friend.  The other side retorted, saying he wasn't looking at her as just a friend and accused the first side of staring at her butt while she walked away.  The first side denied that claim, but Planet Diver just kept on staring.

"Hey," somepony interrupted.  Planet Diver looked down at the pony who had somehow avoided detection.  "I know who you are," the yellow colt stated, adjusting his brown flat cap.

"C'mon Tinker, we shouldn't be talking to him," a smaller colt urged the pony named Tinker.

"Let the adults talk, Cogwheel."  Tinker attempted to scoot his brother away, but Cogwheel persisted.

"You're not an adult Tinker!  Let's go," Cogwheel continued, glancing up at Planet Diver.  Tinker didn't take too well to Cogwheel's comment though, brushing his meager, grey facial hair with his hoof.

"Seriously Cog, go away.  Don't you need to keep Honeycrisp company or something?" Tinker sent Cogwheel off with a swift whip of his grey tail.  The younger, orange colt muttered and wandered off.  Tinker knew it would only be a matter of time before somepony would come and scold him, so he worked fast.  "You're Planet Diver, right?  You helped steal that money, right?"

"What of it?" Planet Diver grumbled.

"You were driving the automobile, right?"

"Again, what of it?" Planet Diver didn't feel like discussing the finer points of the incident, especially with eccentric strangers.  He would admit though, most ponies couldn't identify his exact role.

"I read the articles and saw the pictures.  It was a Lynx Skywinder, the newest model, right?" Tinker correctly identified the automobile Planet Diver had been driving.  "I hear the steering on those is pretty tight, even if it is a larger automobile.  Is that true?  I've never driven a cloud automobile... took apart the engine of a Model Three Stratus Eagle, but that's about it," Tinker vented.  Planet Diver admittedly knew very little about the still young automobile industry in Equestria.  Widespread use of the steam engine had flung the country into an industrial revolution in a matter of months.  Drawn carriages were just about obsolete.  If somepony could invent something to travel through the air without the use of clouds, chariots would officially become a thing of the past.  Engines would be ferrying ponies from place to place, not other ponies

"I don't want to talk engines with you, or crime for that matter," Planet Diver explained, but Tinker wouldn't allow him to depart from his company.

"Sorry, I was just curious.  Most ponies don't know much about the new technology that's cropping up, but I know the ins and outs of an engine better than anypony in all of Equestria.  I was just curious about the drive shaft on the newest Skywinder because I'm in the market for steering that's tight as it can get.  Most ponies don't think that automobiles that operate well in the clouds don't necessarily operate well on the ground, but the parts and the concepts are all the same.  You know what I mean?"  Planet Diver hadn't been paying attention.

"Sure kid," he mumbled.

"I have a more pressing question for you though, and that is whether or not you think you're a good driver," Tinker asked.

"I'm a better driver than most of the officers who chased me down."

"So you're good?"

"Probably... what of it?"

"Well, I was just... aww shoot," Tinker cut off as a large stallion approached the two.

"Tinker, get on over here," the green pony ordered.  Tinker didn't give a verbal response, but simply trotted off.  Planet Diver was glad to be rid of the pesky colt, but he now found himself beset upon by the huge earth pony.  "Good to see you again, Planet Diver."  The stallion did not sound like he was happy to see him.

"Do I know you?"

"Probably not, but I know you."  This didn't come as a surprise to Planet Diver, but the stallion went on to elaborate.  "I was there when you were born."

"... Touching," Planet Diver grumbled, trying to avoid the stallion's violet eyes.

"You seemed so innocent back then."  The stallion certainly didn't pull any punches, but the pegasus was used to it by now.  "Stay out of trouble," he warned before trotting off, as if Planet Diver wasn't already in trouble.  He couldn't think of any way to get into more trouble, but then he remembered Pippin.  As he trotted away from the party, his own words to Sunny echoed in his head.

Planet Diver waited behind the barn for a few minutes before Pippin arrived, just as bubbly as she had been before.  Perhaps it was just the party that made her that way, but Planet Diver had his suspicions that the mare was simply happy all the time.  He had fretted for a short moment that she was in a good mood because the engagement party was for her, but no stallion in their right mind would let their fiancee rendezvous with a criminal.  Planet Diver certainly wouldn't.

"C'mon, follow me," Pippin called as she trotted right past him and down into the apple orchard.  Planet Diver caught up easily, winging his way down the hill.  The two trotted side-by-side through the orchard.  Planet Diver kept a conscientious, one wing distance from from Pippin.  "So, what've you been up to these past few years?"

"... You seriously don't know?"

"Should I know?  Are y'all famous or somethin'?"

"I'm infamous.  Everypony else knows, so how is it you don't know?"

"Well, if everypony knows, y'all wouldn't mind telling me what I'm missing out on, would ya?" Pippin asked.  As a rule, Planet Diver didn't discuss what had happened the night his life took a one-eighty;  however, he felt compelled to tell Pippin.

"Back in Cloudsdale there's this pony named Sky Scraper.  He has a lot of everything, especially money."

"So he's rich?" Pippin interrupted.  Planet Diver nodded, keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead of himself.  Pippin looked ahead too, as if he were projecting the story onto a screen ahead of them.

"He keeps most of his bits locked up in a safe inside his home, but some... friends of mine noticed he made a weekly trip to the bank during the night.  In that timeframe between the bank and the estate, he would carry upwards of ten-thousand bits on his person," Planet Diver explained.  He glanced down at Pippin.  She appeared to be absorbing the tale with a very somber expression.  He thought maybe she could already see where things were going.

"Me and my friends made a plan.  If we all jumped him on his way back from the bank, we could take his money and get away as rich ponies.  We went through with our plan, but we ran into a hitch.  Sky Scraper put up a fight instead of submitting like we thought he would, so we nearly killed the pony.  The police heard the ruckus we were making though, so we had to bail fast.  I drove the getaway vehicle, and for a while I thought we would all get away.  The chase ended when I ran into a column.  My friends managed to escape on foot, but the police got me.  I was charged with robbery, attempted second-degree murder, and hindering an investigation."

"I get the first two, but why that last one?"  Planet Diver came to a halt.  Pippin stopped too, looking up to see what was the matter.

"That's the first question you ask?  I tell this whole story about how I nearly kill somepony, and you want to know why I got charged with hindering an investigation?"  Pippin thought for a moment.

"... Yeah."  She nodded.  Planet Diver groaned as the two continued on their way.

"I didn't act alone.  The authorities wanted all four of us, but I never gave up their names.  They were going to levy my punishment if I cooperated, but since I refused they exiled me from the city."

"Harsh," Pippin observed.  Planet Diver glared at her through the corner of his eye.

"You know, this is kind of a big deal, so I'd appreciate it if you weren't so nonchalant."

"What do you want me to say? 'Sorry you broke the law'?  'Sorry the police caught you'?  Look, I see what all the fuss is about, but it just doesn't seem that important to me."  Planet Diver couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You do realize you're walking in an isolated area in the middle of the night alone with a criminal, right?  Aren't you afraid I'll try to rob you, attack you, or pin you down?" Planet Diver asked, letting a threatening edge slip into his tone.  Pippin didn't look impressed.

"Y'all aren't the kind of pony who would do that sort of thing.  I trust ya."

"How do you know what kind of pony I am?  You just met me!  Heck, you didn't know the one thing about me that most ponies know about me until just now!" Planet Diver retorted, growing more irritated by Pippin's lack of caution.  The problem was he had no intention of doing anything criminal or untoward to her, so he really couldn't say she was wrong.

"That's the thing Planet Diver, most ponies just see you as a criminal since that's all they know about you.  I know some other things about you, like this."  Pippin stopped, indicating the trunk of an apple tree.  At first, Planet Diver didn't see the significance of the trunk, but once again a second look proved enlightening.

"This is where you tripped, isn't it?" Planet Diver recognized the gnarled root that had caught Pippin's hoof when she was a filly.  He held his own hoof up to the root.  He doubted she would be able to get into the same pickle now that she was older.

"That's what I wanted to show y'all."

"You left the party with me so you could show me a root?" Planet Diver question.  Pippin beamed brightly and nodded enthusiastically.

"You see, the day after my birthday party I came back out here to this tree.  I was honestly a bit upset that the tree had cost me the race, so I had planned to exact my revenge.  I didn't have a plan in mind, so I just reared up and bucked the tree.  I'd never bucked apples before, so when a few apples fell from the tree after I hit it I became pretty excited.  I went all around the orchard bucking trees like there was no tomorrow.  I was having a blast, but then my Ma caught me.  

"I expected her to be mad, but much to my surprise she was calm.  She fetched a barrel and we picked up the apples I'd knocked out of the trees while she gave me a talk.  She explained all about how ponies eat the apples we grow an' how we can't buck 'em down until they're ready.  She told me so many things I never knew about the farm, even though I'd been livin' here my whole life.  I knew then that I wanted to do what my Ma and Pa did, I wanted to help out on the farm and provide food for all the folks in Ponyville.  That's when this here appeared."  Pippin turned about and displayed the gold apple and green apple on her flank, the green one looking like somepony had taken a nice bite out of it.  "If y'all never challenged me to that race back then, I reckon it would have taken me a mite longer to discover this."  Pippin concluded her story.  Planet Diver was surprised to hear her story to say the least.  He decided that explaining why would be the appropriate response.

"When I went back to Cloudsdale, my brother Sunny blabbed about how you'd kissed me.  All my friends and the other colts poked fun at me, saying I had cooties and I was going to turn into a filly.  I was determined to get their respect back, so I told them to dare me to do anything to prove I was still cool.  I ate some odd stuff, made some inappropriate noises, and raced a couple of the colts, but they still weren't satisfied.

"That's when somepony dared me to jump off the city.  Our school was on the edge of town, so it was just a short fly up the schoolyard wall to the mother of all drops.  I didn't want to do it at first, but everypony seemed to agree it was the final rite of passage.  Long story short, I jumped.

"Now there is a big difference between flying off something and jumping right off of it, a difference I didn't fully grasp when I was younger.  I thought I could simply spread my wings and flutter harmlessly to the ground, but instead I tumbled like a rag doll through the air.  I was terrified.  I had no idea what I should do.  For a while, I just watched the ground getting closer and closer.  Little had I realized I'd straightened out, so when I finally snapped out of my stupor I spread my wings and just narrowly missed hitting the ground and splattering.

"I should probably be thankful that a teacher saw me jump, but back then I was angry that I got in trouble.  Despite the scolding from my teacher and then my mom and dad, I couldn't get over the rush of coming back from the brink of death.  My older sister, Rainbow Dash, happened to be home when it happened, so when I told her about that feeling she said she could relate.  After talking to her about the rush, I got this mark.  Ever since then, I've been jumping off of things I probably shouldn't."  Planet Diver displayed his own flank, adorned with a heavenly body and accompanying arrow coming off of it.  Pippin giggled.

"I guess we've got to thank one another," she pointed out.  Planet Diver smiled slyly.

"I've got the perfect way to thank you."  He quickly leaned in and gave Pippin a peck on her nose.  Pippin looked surprised to say the least, and for a moment Planet Diver was afraid he had overstepped the line.  Pippin smiled though, batting her eyes up at him.

"Well, aren't we Mr. Forward?" She smirked as she closed the remaining distance between the pair.  Planet Diver couldn't help but grin despite himself.  The voice in the back of his head telling him to back off was getting quieter and quieter.

"Where's my thank you?" Planet Diver prodded.  He closed his eyes and waited, but got far more than he bargained for when he felt Pippin press her lips against his.  It was an unexpected gesture, but by no means unwelcome.  She withdrew sooner than Planet Diver would have liked.  He opened his eyes, and wasn't too surprised by the fact that Pippin looked completely okay with what had just happened.

"And you said I was forward," he teased.  Pippin diverted her gaze, succumbing to the embarrassment ever so slightly.

"Sorry, I don't usually... well I've never done that before," she admitted as she regained her resolve to look Planet Diver in the eye.  "If I can be frank, I just thought that I fancy you an'... well I dunno, I got the impression you might too, so I'm sorry if y'all di-"

Planet Diver stopped her by locking his lips to hers.  The voice in his head that told him this was unwise was silent.  Crime, Ponyville, family, and friends all dropped out of existence.  Blinded, he did as he pleased.  He used brute force to get Pippin onto her back.  He stared down at her as the final shreds of her confidence were stripped away.  Planet Diver could have proceeded on his own, but his mind kept pasting the image of a young filly over the mare's face.  He paused, remembering himself.

"I warned you this might happen," Planet Diver reminded her.  "I am a thief, after all."

"You don't have to steal anythin'."

"You shouldn't make jokes under these circumstances.  A stallion might get the wrong idea."  Pippin didn't respond. She just kept staring up at him.  Planet Diver's conscience switched back on, reminding him that the situation was escalating far too quickly and that he should retreat immediately.  Planet Diver could not and did not want to argue with the voice in his head, but there was another voice, a mere whisper, that grabbed his attention.

"... Please?" That was all it took. 
> Operation 2:  Don't Fall in Love with the Farmer's Daughter
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Planet Diver woke up.  He had been having a dream where he was on a large boat sailing across a starlit sea.  The images were still fresh in his mind, and they were all magnificent.  As he looked down at his chest, he was happy that it had only been a dream.

As far as morning afters went for Planet Diver, this one was a whole new experience.  First off, he usually had them inside on a nice, warm bed, not outside on the chilly ground.  Secondly, he wasn't trying to tip-toe out of the room without waking the poor mare up.  He was quite content where he was, so leaving was the very last thing he wanted to do.  Third, he wasn't hung over and his partner didn't reek of alcohol, either.  That was a definite plus.

Last but certainly not least, Planet Diver had never just laid and watched his partner sleep.  Pippin slept on with the serenity of a foal with her face buried in Planet Diver's chest.  She had one hoof around his belly and he had one hoof resting around her shoulders.  This was not the kind of bliss a criminal should get to experience.

Even when Pippin's eyes flitted open, the scene remained just as peaceful.  She smiled and sighed as she traced a circle in Planet Diver's coat with her hoof.  The only sounds were soft breathing, a slight breeze rustling the leaves on the trees, and birds singing somewhere in the distance.  The sun was hardly up, so the trees cast long shadows that kept the couple shrouded in cool shadow.  Life stood still for the two ponies as they lay in the orchard, but they couldn't stop it from moving along.

"We can't stay here forever," Pippin whispered.  Planet Diver cursed his luck.  He did, in fact, have somewhere he needed to be this morning.  The original plan had been for him to go to Rainbow Dash's house in Ponyville and stay there, but it didn't take a genius to see that hadn't happened.  From there, his sister was supposed to show him to the Ponyville Weather Station where he'd be working.  He didn't want to go to work, though.

"We can try," he offered, hugging Pippin a little closer.  Pippin squeezed him back, but she looked up at him and shook her head.

"I've got work to do.  What do you have to go do?"

"... Weather," Planet Diver admitted.

"Well then, you better hop to it.  We need today's rain for the crops."  Pippin managed to wriggle free from Planet Diver and stand up.  He followed in suite, not wanting to remain on the ground if nopony was going to cuddle with him.

"Fine, but you're going to have to point me in the right direction first."  He wrapped a wing around her and stole her lips.  Pippin broke free and nuzzled his neck.

"I'll tell you where to go, but you have to do something for me first."  Pippin's tone was ever so playful, causing Planet Diver to agree unconditionally.  "When y'all are done with the weather, come back 'round here for lunch.  I reckon a fella like you doesn't have plans anyway."

"Ha.  What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means y'all are new here and don't know nopony," Pippin clarified.  "And if we're gonna carry on like this, mah family is gonna want to get to know ya."

"Does your family read the paper?" Planet Diver asked.  Pippin nodded, keeping a cheerful enough look on her face to ease his worries slightly.  Still, he knew the chances her whole family being on board with their daughter seeing a known criminal were slim.  The best approach would be to break the news to them in easy doses.  Bonding over a bit of food might actually be a good idea.  "Should I swing by around noon, then?"  Pippin grinned and gave Planet Diver a peck on the nose.

"Go into town and look for the building with a giant cupcake on the roof.  From there, go west until you see a building with a cloud for a signpost.  That'll be the weather station.  Now git, an' don't be late."  He had no choice but to comply, taking to the air with one final good-bye smooch.

Now that the world was bathed in light, Planet Diver got a much better look at Sweet Apple Acres.  If it weren't for the barn and two farmhouses on the property, a pony could easily mistake it for a forest.  The fields filled with other various plants out front helped dispel the notion, however, that the area was a forest.  With so much property to look after, Planet Diver wondered how the ponies who ran the place managed it all.

Ponyville itself wasn't the little tank town he remembered from his younger years, either.  The town was larger, taller, and buzzing with more ponies than he recalled, even at this early hour.  The sound of engines puttering along filled the air as smokestacks began to smoke and laundry began making its way onto lines above the streets.  

Planet Diver would have been hard-pressed to miss the building Pippin had told him to look for first.  The sculpture of a pink pastry was easy to spot against the beiges and greys of the other buildings.  He turned his back to the sun and swooped down, spotting the signpost that looked like a fluffy, white cloud.  He landed before the edifice and strode on in.

Upon entering, every pegasus in the place turned to look up at him.  Planet Diver was used to getting looks in public by now, but not the kind he was getting right now.  If he could see the ridiculous grin plastered across his face, he might have understood why everypony was avoiding eye contact a little more proactively.  He meandered up to the counter, still flying first class on cloud nine.

"Hi, I'm Planet Diver.  It's my first day here and I'm supposed to report... to," Planet Diver struggled to recall the name Rainbow Dash reminded him several times to remember.  He wondered if maybe he should have listened.

"Uh... Ms.  Flow is waiting for you... in the back," the receptionist whimpered.  He didn't bother thanking her, he just winged his way over to the desk and into the area only employees were allowed into.  He poked his head in the first small room in the back and looked for the mare who was going to be training him.  He found no mare, but he did finally find a sight that wiped the smile off his face.

"Um... I'm looking for Ms. Flow..."

"Honey, you're looking at her."  Planet Diver blinked.  "I recognize you from the papers, Mr. Dash."

"Ah... uh," Planet Diver was at a loss for words, but the saucy stallion in the little back room had plenty to spare.

"It's funny, your sister came and told me you'd disappeared and not to expect you, but I told her, 'that colt will show up, I just know he will'.  You see, I worked for your big sister long enough back when she was weather captain to know anypony who'd been raised in the same household as her wouldn't shirk his duties, but your sister was skeptical.  Oh boy, was she skeptical.  Here you are though, full of defiance and wide-eyed terror.  So tell me, Mr. Dash, are you ready to make a rainstorm?"  Planet Diver was a bit too distracted by the stallion's massive, pink beehive hairdo and gaudy make-up to process too much information.

"Uh... I'm ready to make rain, sure."

"Sure what?  This isn't no preschool, Mr. Dash.  Sure what?"

"Sure... ma'am?" 

"What's wrong with you colt?  You come up on in here after disappearing and causing your sister all kinds of trouble, and the best you can give me is a 'sure'?  I'm not all too happy about having to take in a pretty seriously convicted felon, Mr. Dash.  If your sister wasn't Rainbow Dash, I would have punted you to the streets if you'd asked for a job."  The stallion now had Planet Diver's full attention.

"You can kick me out if you want.  I didn't want to be put here."

"Put here... what?"

"Look dude, you can't make me say ma'am after everything I say.  You're a weather pony, not a royal guard."  Ms. Flow didn't take too kindly to her authority being questioned.  The stallion trotted up, flaring his wings in order to fill Planet Diver's vision with nothing but light blue.

"I am not your 'dude', Mr. Dash.  I am either Ms. Drag Flow, Ms. Drag, Ms. Flow, or just plain 'ol ma'am.  Don't you get fresh with me, or I will send you back to Cloudsdale on one wing begging for jail time."  Planet Diver was now aware of how much bigger Drag Flow was;  not big in a muscular sense, but big in a time-for-a-diet sense.  He wasn't about to be intimidated by a little flab.

"Can we just make some weather, sir?" Unfortunately, that was the one line Planet Diver was not allowed to cross.





Planet Diver was grateful for the rain that saturated his coat.  Nopony would be able to tell how sweaty he was, unless they took a deep breath too close to him.  He never knew rainclouds were so heavy and he never considered how many of the grey clouds would be required to cover the whole of Ponyville.  Drag Flow hadn't given him a moment's respite either.  The stallion didn't even help with the labor, he just barked orders at Planet while lounging on the clouds.  Planet Diver swore he was doing it just to spite him.

The job had left Planet Diver's wings aching.  He didn't have it in him to fly back to Sweet Apple Acres, so he'd settled for trotting along through the rain.  The only problem was he only knew how to get to his destination by the air.  On the ground, the towering structures around him prevented him from seeing beyond a single block.  He tried to ask for directions once, but it hadn't ended well.  Everypony became wary as he passed by, but approaching them threw them into full-on panic.  He'd have to be careful in the future.  Even an accusation of trying to mug somepony could mean going into the clink.

"Yo!  Planet!" Planet Diver looked up just before his sibling touched down right next to him.  Sunny was wearing some strange sort of umbrella hat to keep his meticulously maintained mane in a fluffy ball.  "Looks like you didn't skip town!"

"You're still here?" Planet Diver grunted, continuing on his way to where he thought Sweet Apple Acres was located.

"Of course I am, bro! Rainy has Wonderbolt stuff to do, but Pops said it wouldn't hurt if I stuck around for a while.  Besides, somepony had to see if you actually went on the lam."

"Nope, still here.  I even went to work."

"Did you now?  And here I was, pondering the mystery of how they made it rain without their star weather pony, Planet Diver Dash," Sunny joked.  Considering how much work he'd done, Planet Diver seriously considered how they would have fared without him.  "So where did you go, bro?  It was like, twenty minutes into the party when me and Rainy noticed you were nowhere to be found."  Planet Diver came to a stop.

"Yeah... you're not going to believe me."  Seeing his brother's spirits lighten, Sunny resolved to get the truth out of him.

"Let's worry about my believing it later, just tell me."  Planet Diver tried to keep from smirking, but he was happily torn between keeping last night's events his little secret or sharing his exploits with his brother.  Planet Diver wasn't one to kiss and tell, but Sunny just looked too eager to hear the story.

"Alright, I'll tell you," Planet Diver decided.  The two resumed walking as Planet Diver started his explanation.  "Did you ever remember what happened when we came here as kids?"

"Pfft, no."  Sunny laughed a good hearty guffaw.  "C'mon bro, just tell me."

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there.  So, when we came here as kids I met this filly, Pippin.  You probably don't remember her, but you remember what she did to me."

"Oh, wait, lightbulb going off over here!  She kissed you, right?"

"See, I knew you'd remember."

"Alright, alright, I see.  What's this gotta do with last night?" Sunny asked, getting right at the heart of the matter.

"Well, that filly was there, but she's not a filly anymore, right?" Sunny lit up again, letting his award-winning smile blossom.

"Oh... oh this is too rich.  What's she look like?  Is she hot?"

"C'mon Sunny, just let me tell my story," Planet Diver chuckled.

"Okay, okay.  What happened next?"

"So we're talking, right?  Things are going well and are normal enough, but then she tells me to meet her out away from the party in five minutes."

"Ooh hay boy!  She wants you!"

"Hold on, there's still more."

"Oh, this is gonna be good."  Sunny was bouncing as he went along, entranced by his brother's story.

"So we meet up and she takes me out into the orchard.  We get to the place she kissed me when we were kids, and... well... to keep from saying too much, things escalated beyond a kiss on the nose."

"Aaaaw Yeah!  Atta boy!  That's my brother, yo!" Sunny cheered at a passing stranger as he put Planet Diver into a brotherly headlock.  "Look at you Casanova!  Look.  At.  You!  You were all mopey when you got here, but then you go out and get some!  That's more like the Planet Diver I know!"

"Yeah... well."  Planet Diver ate up the praise, even if he didn't show it on the outside.

"So what's next for you?  You on your way to find another heart to break?" Sunny questioned.

"Ah... no.  She told me to come to her place for lunch, so I'm headed back to that farm now."  This time Sunny brought the pair to a halt.  He tipped his shades down and peered at Planet Diver with his intense, red eyes.  "What?"

"Now that's out of character, bro.  Don Juan Diver loves then leaves, not loves then comes by for lunch.  What's the story?  Is she that hot or is her oven really warm, so to speak?"

"No, Sunny.  I like her," Planet Diver explained.  Sunny hung on the last phrase, patiently waiting for his brother to add on or at least make an amendment.

"I don't believe you.  I'm coming with so I can get to the bottom of this."

"Feel free.  Just do me one favor."

"Yeah, what?"

"Make sure I'm going the right way."

After a little readjustment in their course and a lot more walking, the two brothers arrived back at Sweet Apple Acres.  Even in the rain, several large stallions were out doing various chores in bright, yellow raincoats.  Recognizing one of the stallions as the big green one who confronted him last night, Planet Diver kept his head low so they wouldn't notice him entering the property.

"Well howdy there Planet Diver!" Pippin blew Planet Diver's cover not even two steps from the front gate.  "Who's this?"

"Pippin, this is my brother Sunny.  Sunny, this is Pippin," Diver introduced the two.

"Howdy there!  Nice to meet ya!" Pippin took Sunny's hoof and shook it with gusto.

"The pleasure is all mine!" Sunny assured her, giving a little bow when Pippin released his hoof.

"Well, let's not stand 'round in the rain.  C'mon in, everypony should be sittin' down to eat right 'bout now."  Pippin turned to the stallions who were out working.  "C'mon y'all.  It's time fer some vittles!" she shouted, rousing them to halt their progress and make towards the farmhouse.  Planet Diver and Sunny followed in suit, but not before Sunny gave his brother a silent nod and smile of approval.  They were glad to be able to come in out of the rain, but the sight that greeted them in the kitchen gave them pause.

There must have been over a dozen ponies pulling up chairs from all parts of the house to sit around the table.  Stimulated by having worked up an appetite and the smell of cooking wafting through the room, they chatted and laughed with one another.  Planet Diver, having worked hard and feeling hungry himself, felt like he was in the right place.

"C'mon, sit on down." Pippin gestured to a chair that was already at the table.  Planet Diver got into it while Pippin took a seat right next to him.  Sunny plopped down on the other side of his brother.  Diver swore he'd imagined it, but the other ponies appeared to take heed of him when he sat down.  It was only a brief lull though, so Planet Diver shook it off while everypony else sat down.

"Daaaang... look at this spread, man," Sunny whispered to Diver.  The repast put out on the table was impressive.  Planet Diver hadn't even known there were so many ways to prepare apples.  His culinary prowess only allowed him to identify apple pie, apple fritters, and apple sauce.  The rest was foreign, but all of it appeared delectable.  Sunny and Planet Diver were practically drooling over the sight, but refrained from being the first ponies to tuck in.

"Alright everypony, who wants to say grace?" the final pony to arrive announced as she sat down.  She pulled off her brown stetson and placed it on the table before her.  Planet Diver recognized her as one of Rainbow Dash's friends.  One hoof went up from the smallest colt at the table, the blonde and dingy orange colt that Diver recognized as Cogwheel from the party.  "Alright, let's hear it."  Cogwheel stood up and cleared his throat while two ponies placed a stocking cap and a flat cap on the table.

"I'd just like to thank Celestia for our health and our livelihood.  We're all thankful for the comin' union of my cousin Apple Barrel and soon-to-be cousin Swansong.  We know they'll be happy, so all we ask is that they produce that great-great-grandchild Great-Granny Smith always wanted, bless her soul."  Everypony chimed in with a "bless her soul" before Cogwheel continued his speech.  "We all also ask that Tinker doesn't wind up dead."

"Hey!"

"Shush, Tinker!  Where was I?  Oh yeah, I was gonna say I hope we can keep gettin' on just fine and we thank ya."  With one final "thank you" from everypony, Planet Diver and Sunny assumed the meal would start.  Turns out they were wrong.

"So, Pippin, who're your friends here?" the apparent matriarch of the table asked as she returned her hat to her head.  Everypony who wasn't named Dash turned and looked at the ones who were.

"Everypony, this here is Planet Diver Dash and his brother Sunny," Pippin introduced the two.  "Fellas, let me introduce you to everypony."

"We're never going to eat," Sunny whispered into Planet Diver's ear.

"This here is Cogwheel an' Tinker.  They're my little brothers."  Pippin indicated toward the two younger colts who were seated next to Sunny.  "Next to Cogwheel ,there, is my little cousin Honeycrisp." The little red pegasus ducked under the table until all either brother could see was the top of her orange mane.  "Now, she's the daughter of Auntie Fluttershy and Uncle Macintosh over yonder.  Apple Barrel right over here is also their kid."

Even while sitting, the brothers were astonished by the sheer size of the pony called Apple Barrel.  Bigger by at least a few hands than anypony else at the table, of which there were some pretty big ones, the pinkish stallion's body was a mountain of muscle capped by a pile of orange hair.

"His fiancee is my good friend Swansong, here," Pippin introduced the unicorn mare as she slung a foreleg around her.

"That's a shame," Planet Diver heard Sunny mutter under his breath, and it was obvious why.  The aqua unicorn was a fair sight, with her slender body and carefully curled mane.

"Her parents are Rarity and Gibson over yonder, but Gibson don't talk on account of his condition.  The other unicorn next to Rarity is Miss Twilight Sparkle.  She runs a school for unicorns down in Ponyville and is Princess Celestia's own student.  The feller next to her is Spike, her assistant."  Planet Diver and Sunny wondered how they failed to notice the dragon seated at the table.  Spike was about the size of Twilight, with a pair of leathery wings that would look more at home on a pigeon.  "Right next to him is Sweetie Belle, who is Rarity's sister."

"Holy crap.  Does 'hot' just run in that family or what?" Sunny mumbled to Planet Diver.  "Ow!  You kicked me!"  Diver grinned.

"Right next to her is Auntie Applebloom and Snails."  Planet Diver noted the omission of the word "uncle" when the mustard colored unicorn was mentioned.  He wasn't a big stallion, but his tall, thinner frame still looked well built.  The mare next to him looked pretty typical for a farmpony.  Sweet and quiet on the outside, but probably a regular fireball inside.  "Last but not least, let me introduce you to my Ma and Pa."  Pippin gestured to the two opposite end of the table.  From where Planet Diver was sitting he could see Applejack smiling at him, but he had to crane his neck to look around the food and see the father.

"Oh boy," he cursed under his breath.

"Good to see you again so soon.  The name's Big Lugnut and this here is my wife, Applejack," Big Lugnut introduced himself and his spouse, deadpanning his eyes at Planet Diver.  Planet Diver knew his reputation would cause trouble no matter who Pippin's father was, but of all the ponies in the room why did it have to be Big Lugnut?  The stallion, for some odd reason, was giving Diver an unpleasant vibe.  Even back at the party, Lugnut had gone out of his way to confront him

"It's good to meet everypony!" Sunny D shouted, making Big Lugnut break eye contact with Planet Diver, who promptly ducked back behind the food.

"Yeah, good to meet all of you," he added.  Eating instantly began.  The Dash brothers had to jump into action quickly to get anything before the other fifteen mouths cleared out the table.  After a few moments of silent eating, conversation started back up.

"So, Sunny, what is it you do?" Big Lugnut asked.  Being put in the spotlight surprised Sunny, but he was in no way opposed to it.

"I'm just the most up and coming-est recording artist in Cloudsdale right now.  Sunny D is the name on everypony's lips and the voice on everypony's radio," Sunny bragged.  Everypony nodded, and only nodded much to Sunny's disappointment.  Normally when ponies find out he's Sunny D he gets covered in mares.

"Yup, y'all are related to Rainbow Dash alright," Applejack chuckled.

"Because we're all famous?" The question earned a glare from Planet Diver.  "Uh, sorry."  Planet Diver knew he meant no harm, but he'd appreciate it if Sunny avoided drawing attention to his reputation.  It's the least he could do.

"Don't y'all have another sister?" Applejack questioned.  Planet Diver nodded.

"Jenday Conure is her name, ma'am.  We all call her JC."  He tried to be as respectful as possible.  It might help soften things up.

"Rainbow Dash doesn't talk about her too much," Fluttershy pointed out.  "I heard that, uhm, she's sick?" Both brothers nodded solemnly.  JC had never been very healthy.  Aesthetically she was vibrant and colorful like the other mares in their family, but her body was weak and frail.  Most of her time was spent at the hospital in Cloudsdale.  Even when she wasn't in the hospital she lead a very sedentary life, whiling the hours away playing violin.  She was a sensitive subject for all the Dash siblings, especially her two, perfectly healthy, triplet brothers.

"Yeah, she's in and out of the hospital.  Her health is pretty fragile," Planet Diver confessed.

"Sounds like somepony you shouldn't be causing grief," Big Lugnut rumbled from across the table.  Both Planet Diver and Sunny craned their necks to look at the stallion.  Even the more easygoing of the two brothers did not tolerate anypony talking about JC that way.  Neither brother would do anything to upset their littlest sister on purpose, and if one did he would feel obligated to have the other kill him.

"So... Snails, how are things at the plant?" Spike asked in order to change the subject and shift things over to the less awkward.

"Things are going well, eh," Snails answered, glad to steer the conversation away from a sensitive subject.  "We're still working on the design for our next model.  We want to see if we can't make it a bit safer, eh."

"C'mon Snails, I told you a million times you should throw those blueprints out," Tinker cut in.  For whatever reason, he turned and made eye contact with Planet Diver.  "This guy keeps pushing for safety and fuel efficiency on the newer models, but he should be pushing to make the darn things go faster, right?"

"I... I don't know."  Based on his previous conversation with Tinker, Diver had a sneaking suspicion as to why Tinker might think he'd like faster automobiles.

"Snails, are you ever going to make those adjustments I showed you?" Tinker asked as he turned back to the unicorn.  "That'll make the next model a real road burner.  Fuel efficiency and safety are pointless.  Automobiles are safe as anything and it's not like we'll ever run out of gasoline."

"Tinker, the adjustments you wanted me to make would turn the next model into a death trap.  On top of that, it probably couldn't make it across Ponyville on a full tank of gas."

"Then you just have to make it lighter."

"That would make it even more dangerous, eh."

"And faster, right?" Tinker turned to Planet Diver again.

"Uh... I think Snails has a point," Planet Diver admitted.  Tinker dropped what he was eating and let his jaw fall open, reacting as if Planet Diver had defiled a decade-long friendship with a single knife to the back.

"Thank you Mr. Dash.  Take it safe and slow, that's what I always say, eh."  Planet Diver couldn't help but notice Applebloom rolling her eyes.

"Swansong, remind me how Apple Barrel proposed to you," Applebloom asked, putting emphasis on "proposed" as she looked up at Snails.

"Yeah, you should tell Mr. Dash and... Mr. Dash.  It's a good story," Snails chipped in, completely missing the hint, or rather bomb, Applebloom had just dropped.

"Oh, it wasn't anything special.  He just popped the question all of a sudden after a picnic under the stars.  I said yes, of course.  Right, darling?" Swansong looked nearly straight up at her fiancee's hidden eyes.

"Yes ma'am," he rumbled.

"Have you two known each other long?" Sunny asked.  Planet Diver felt like he could answer that question, recalling the little unicorn filly and the plump earth pony he'd seen at Sweet Apple Acres so many years ago.

"Yessir," the giant chortled.

"We've known each other since we were very young, practically our whole lives," Swansong elaborated.  There were two knocks on the table.  Everypony turned their attention to the source:  Gibson.  He began making a series of swift motions with his hooves, which concluded with one pointed at Apple Barrel.  Planet Diver and Sunny jumped when everypony else burst into side splitting laughter, everyone but Apple Barrel, who looked terribly embarrassed.

"No sir," Apple Barrel mumbled once the laughter subsided a bit.  There were a few more swift movements from Gibson and then even more laughter.  Gibson kept on going, slowing down his movements and giving a heartfelt smile.  Everypony d'awwed when he concluded.

"Oh stop it you, you're going to make me cry," Swansong sniffled.  Apple Barrel put a massive hoof around her shoulders and leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the head.  The table shared a touching moment, except for the brothers Dash.  Both brothers huddled up and conversed in hushed tones.

"Do you know sign language?" Planet Diver asked Sunny.

"If I did, I'd be bawling my eyes out too."  The brothers returned to their normal positions as the conversation moved along.

"Can I see the ring again, Swansong?" Applebloom asked.  Swansong happily obliged, levitating the diamond encrusted band in a azure aura.  "Now, ain't that a purdy ring, Snails?"

"I can't say, pudding.  I haven't seen many rings."  Planet Diver was amazed.  Snails marched to the beat of his own drum, and it was a very, very slow rhythm.

"Ugh... y'all are just as slow as when we met," Applebloom groaned.  The comment went right over Snails's head, but all the mares with significant others began to nod.  Although she hadn't started with them, Pippin began nodding vigorously when she saw it happen.  Planet Diver noticed, and then he noticed that everypony else had noticed.  All eyes were not on Pippin, not on Planet Diver, but on the pair of them.  The ball was in their court, but he wanted it out.

"So, Spike, you're a dragon," Planet Diver pointed out.  Inside he knew that was a terrible attempt, but to his surprise everypony actually went for it.

"Have been all my life," Spike announced as if it was a point of pride that he'd never been anything else.  "I help out Twilight, mostly by delivering letters to Princess Celestia."

"You deliver letters to the Princess?" Sunny asked, getting a nod in response from the dragon.  "Are you going to send her that grace we said?" Ponies chuckled at the quip, satisfying Sunny's need for attention.

"No, we don't send the grace," Twilight explained.  "Most of our correspondence today has to do with my studies.  Why, it was just yesterday that-"

"Psst."  Planet Diver and Sunny heard a soft voice from directly behind them.  Twilight continued, but the brothers turned their attention to Honeycrisp, who had managed to sneak behind them.  She cast a timid glance up to Planet Diver before focusing all her attention on Sunny.

"I... I just wanted to say... that... that, uhm, I'm a big fan," Honeycrisp whimpered before sneaking back to her place at the table.

"Aww, she's a cute kid," Sunny whispered to Planet Diver when they turned back around.

"Sunny, she's a filly."  The stallion had a record for having a one-track mind, so Diver wasn't going to even humor the statement.

"No one is young forever."  Planet Diver returned his attention to the conversation at hand, not wanting to know if his brother was joking or not.

"-so they finally had to admit the idea had some merit," Twilight concluded what was probably an uninteresting story.

"So, Pippin," Applejack turned her attention to her daughter.  Planet Diver glanced over at her, noticing the innocent smile plastered across her face.  He got a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.  Everypony was staring at the two of them again.  "Where were you last night?"  Everypony leaned in.  Planet Diver turned his head and looked at Pippin too, as if he were just as curious.

Planet Diver knew he was royally screwed.  Rainbow Dash had noticed Planet Diver had been gone, and he had it on good authority that she was steamed over it.  When she gets mad, she tells ponies why she's mad.  If everypony knew that neither he or Pippin had returned to their respective homes, they had probably already put two and two together.  Planet Diver could only put his faith in the mare beaming confidently next to him.

"I fell asleep in the orchard last night," Pippin explained.  It wasn't a lie, but it sure as hay wasn't the entire truth.

"Ya'll must have been tired if ya just plopped down and slept in the orchard," Applejack pointed out.  Pippin continued beaming brightly as she nodded.

"Mighty tired."  That wasn't a lie either, but Planet Diver would not have called it the truth.

"Were y'all walkin' or somethin'?" Applejack continued to probe.  Pippin's expression changed to indicate she found the question odd.

"Ya... that is how I get most places."  The statement dispelled all the previous tension.  Everypony got off the edge of their seats and resumed eating.  Planet Diver could hardly believe it.  Pippin had done the impossible and spared them from what could have been a potentially dangerous situation.  He quietly sighed and took a victorious bite out of a piece of apple pie.

"You must have been walking for a while to get so tired," Big Lugnut chuckled before stuffing his mouth full of an apple fritter.  Pippin shook her head.

"I reckon I was more tired from all the sex me an' Planet Diver had."  Ponies eating food spat it out and ponies holding utensils dropped them.  Planet Diver looked at Pippin in disbelief.  The mare looked like she either had no idea what she'd just said or it hadn't struck her as completely inappropriate and incredibly sensitive.  Knowing Pippin, there was a one hundred percent chance of the latter option.

It didn't take long for the inevitable to happen.  Big Lugnut reared up and jumped clear across the table to where Planet Diver was seated.  The pegasus would have been crushed if it had not been for the unicorns in the room suspending Big Lugnut in mid-air on Applejack's command.  Planet Diver stared up at the stallion's crazed eyes as he flailed about in protest.

"I don't know how long we can hold him, AJ!" Twilight groaned under the stress of holding the heavy load.  Even with Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Swansong, and Snails helping, Lugnut was not an easy load to bear.

"C'mon Big Lug, we gotta talk this over civilly," Applejack attempted to reason with her husband as she rounded the table.  Lugnut didn't break his gaze from Planet Diver.

"C'mon Pa, don't be angry," Pippin pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears.  Big Lugnut's whinnies of rage shook the entire house.  "Maybe you should step out for a minute," Pippin advised Planet Diver.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him.  C'mon," Tinker ordered as he hopped up and began ushering Planet Diver towards the exit.  The pegasus complied, fearing for his health.  Sunny followed along, fighting as best he could to keep from laughing.  Tinker lead them out of the farmhouse and towards a barn close to the orchard.  He was silent all the while, which bugged Planet Diver.

"Aren't you... angry?"

"Huh?  Oh, I can't hold a grudge for long.  I'll just have to show you that I'm right and Snails is wrong," Tinker answered, missing the point by a thousand miles.

"No!  I'm talking about me and your sister!" Planet Diver cleared up.  Sunny couldn't hold back any longer and began laughing just as loud as he could.

"This is too much!  Best.  Lunch.  Ever!"  Diver ignored him.

"You and my sister?  Why would I be angry?  I think that's fantastic, congrats to the both of you.  Now come on, I've got more important things to show you."  After a few moments of standing in silent, dumbstruck confusion, Planet Diver gave in and decided to find out what this mixed up colt thought was more important than his sister's honor.  If the past was any indication, it had everything to do with automobiles.
> Operation 3:  Don't Get into the Vehicle
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------





"Here we are!  This is my little slice of heaven," Tinker announced after throwing the barn doors open.  Whatever natural disaster had struck what appeared to be a workshop had left machine parts, blueprints, and various tools strewn about every corner of the room.  Every surface had the same sort of clutter piled onto it and every knothole in the walls or support beams had a hammer or wrench protruding from it.  The only fixture in the room that wasn't in disarray sat in the center of the barn covered by a white tarp.  Based on the outline, Planet Diver only had one guess as to what it could be.

"You think you'll be safe in here?" Sunny laughed as he swooped down into the clutter.  He picked up a ratchet and examined it over his sunglasses.

"From Big Lugnut, maybe," Planet Diver grumbled, peering at a blueprint somepony had nailed to a rafter over the barn door.  "Don't farms use barns for storing food and tools?"

"Not this one, we retired it a few years back when Uncle Macintosh found the termites," Tinker explained as he rooted through a pile of rolled up papers.

"Termites?  So... this place is coming down?" Sunny glanced around as if the roof were already falling on top of them.

"Nah, my dad said I could have the place if I fixed it up.  I got rid of the termites, but they did a number on one of the support beams.  I replaced the whole thing with some parts I wasn't using."  Instead of pointing to the pillar in question like a normal pony, Tinker picked up a tire iron and chucked it towards the back of the barn.  The sound of metal slamming against metal rang out, followed by an unsettlingly loud creak.  "One day I'll buy a proper garage, if I don't get my own plant up and running before that."

"Do you seriously think that could happen?" Diver asked.

"Of course!  The way I see it, it's my destiny!" Tinker proclaimed with an added tap of his flank.  Planet Diver took note of the wrench and screwdriver displayed upon it.  Tinker continued rooting through his mess while Sunny looked around for the safest place to stand in case the barn decided to come down.  Planet Diver was more concerned with the object in the center of the room.  He paced around it, running a hoof along the white tarp.  Whatever was underneath was no doubt made of metal, just as he'd suspected.

"Tinker?  You in here?" All three ponies in the barn turned to the doors.  Two more ponies and a dragon stood in the entry.  Tinker stuck his head up from behind another pile of blueprints.  "Ma said not to let Planet Diver back in the house for at least an hour.  Dad might still try to kill him or somethin'."  Cogwheel stepped gingerly into the barn, tidying up the mess as he made his way to his brother.

"Yeah, sure.  How's Dad doin'?" Tinker asked as he burrowed back into the pile before him.

"Still pretty steamed, but he's not trying to run off anymore.  Ma and Pippin made everypony else leave so the three of them could have a private talk."

"Boy Tinker, would it kill you to clean up once in a while?" Snails leaned on the doorpost to look up and around the place.  Spike joined him, but didn't say anything;  he stood in the doorway, staring at Planet Diver silently.  Diver tried not to pay attention to him it, but the dragon's hard stare wasn't easy to ignore.

"It's perfectly fine like this.  I know where everything is... everything but-"

"It's right here," Cogwheel stated, picking a rolled up blueprint out of a rusty pail full of nuts and bolts.  Tinker rushed over and snatched it up.  "I thought you said you were discarding this one."

"Well, I don't know what I was thinking."  Tinker cleared the entire contents of a nearby table onto the floor so he could open up the schematic.  "C'mere and look at this, Planet Diver."  Diver complied, wandering over to look over the younger pony's shoulder.

"Great... what am I looking at?" Planet Diver couldn't make heads or hooves out of the scrawlings on the page, and it wasn't just because Tinker's penmanship is atrocious.  Snails trotted over and looked on as well, tutting and shaking his head.

"Your blueprints are professional as ever, eh."

"It's not about professionalism, it's about getting the point across!" Tinker declared.  The way he drew up his plans was a sacred art he'd developed himself, but as a result he was the only one who could decipher them.

"I don't see how a picture of yourself declaring you're 'the smartest pony ever' gets the point across, whatever the point is," Snails retorted.  Planet Diver considered that Tinker being the smartest pony ever could be the entire point, but he was too busy looking for the drawing in question in the chaos unfolding across the page.

"Is that it?  I thought it was a dog or something," Planet Diver put his hoof on the messy caricature.  "What's this thing here?"

"That's my mustache, of course."  Tinker ran a hoof through the stubble on his upper lip.  "But, I didn't bring you out here to show you that."

"Didn't you take me out here to save me from your father?"

"Nope."  Planet Diver was starting to wonder where these ponies got their unyielding honesty from.  "I wanted to show you what I've been working on.  Whaddya think?" Planet Diver looked up at Snails for some guidance.

"I think it's an engine, eh."

"Super."  Diver knew he wouldn't be able to appreciate what Tinker was trying to show him even if he could read the blueprints.

"Super doesn't even begin to describe it!" Tinker began to gush, as if Planet Diver was following along or invested in an explanation at all.  He allowed his mind to wander while Tinker talked about pistons and optimal air intake.  Instead, Planet Diver wondered if Pippin and her mother were having any trouble easing Big Lugnut's temper.  He couldn't help but think he should be in there with her.  Planet Diver couldn't help but feel useless.  He couldn't defend their actions if he wasn't there, but he resigned to his fate when he considered that he also couldn't defend their actions if he was dead.

Planet Diver wondered what had happened to his plan to keep things simple in Ponyville.  He had been resolved to stay away from parties, from mares, and from trouble in general.  In less than twenty-four hours, he'd managed to go to a party, get with a mare, and find some good old trouble.  He wondered if there was any way he could complicate things further.

"Do you wanna try?"

"Huh, what?" Planet Diver snapped back into reality when he realized Tinker was now asking him a question.

"Of course you do, c'mere."  Not waiting for a definite response, Tinker trotted to the center of the room and threw the tarp off the mystery object.  "Behold, my magnum opus!"  

Planet Diver's suspicions had been right;  it was an automobile.  It was not, however, an automobile he'd ever seen before.  Most automobiles in Equestria were box shaped.  The basic design was a lot like the old one-pony carts, but without a place to hitch a pony up, four thin spoke wheels, and a roof.  Headlights and a grill would adorn the front and an exhaust pipe would stick out the back.  These components were standard on every model on the ground or in the clouds, but the amount of passengers that could fit inside sometimes varied.

The vehicle sitting before Planet Diver had only one seat dead in the center without any roof over it.  The wheel axles were exposed to the elements for a good foot and a half between the wheel itself and the thin body of the automobile.  The body was two and a half times as long as Planet Diver was from his chest to his dock and was just barely wider than he was.  The vehicle had only one headlight affixed to the rounded front of the body just over the grill.

All in all, Planet Diver wasn't exactly sure what to make of it.  Lucky for him, Snails had a few words of wisdom to impart.

"I see you reattached the front end to the back end."

"How was I supposed to know the brakes weren't going to work?" Tinker retorted.  Snails could have made a thousand different, valid rebuttals, but he decided it would be a wasted effort.

"Tinker, Dad said not to let any living creature sit in that contraption, turn it on, and attempt to operate it.  I'm pretty sure there isn't a loophole this time, and even if there was he'd be pretty sore if you found one," Cogwheel reminded his brother.  Unfortunately, giving Tinker words of warning was like spreading seeds on linoleum tiling.

"I'm sure he won't mind if Planet Diver takes it for a spin around the orchard, right?" Tinker beamed brightly at Planet Diver.

"Uh... I'd kind of like to hear more about how this thing ended up in two pieces..."

"You don't need to," Cogwheel assured him.  "Don't get in."

"Don't get in, eh."

"Yeah bro, don't get in!  Vroom, vroom, ha-ha!" Sunny laughed from the driver's seat of Tinker's deathtrap.

"Sunny stop messing around," Diver flew up and pulled his brother, still making engine noises, from the seat.  Momentarily blinded by Sunny's afro, he felt a hoof grab his shoulder and force him down into the seat.  Before he could protest, a helmet was slapped onto his head.

"Safety first!" Tinker declared, reaching across Planet Diver to fasten the seatbelt he'd been forced to install the third time he'd crashed his creation.  The helmet became a requirement after the eighth time.

"Tinker, if you were thinking about safety at all, you wouldn't have made this thing in the first place." Spike finally joined into the conversation, knowing full well the dangers of the road Planet Diver was about to embark upon.

"Of course I wasn't thinking about safety!  I was thinking about progress!" Madness entered into Tinker's eyes as he twisted a nob on the dashboard of the automobile, causing its engine to roar into a life its tiny body didn't give it credit for.  "Just keep in mind Diver," Tinker began to yell over the noise, "I reversed the brakes and the gas!"

"Why would you do that?" Planet Diver asked, pressing down on the brakes as hard as he could in order to keep the vehicle from moving one inch.

*vvvvvvVVVVVVVVVVVROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo...*

"I didn't!" Tinker shouted as Planet Diver careened out of the barn.





As the moment of his death seemed to grow closer and closer, Planet Diver began making a mental list of the objects that might have saved or even prolonged his life.  Goggles, an anchor, a parachute, steel fur, or perhaps somepony to murder Tinker.  Wishing for these things wouldn't keep him from dying, so he tried to focus on keeping his automotive coffin from burying itself in a tree.

The barn's front door had opened up into an empty road, but the road lead to a thinner one that ran through the apple orchard.  It was winding, bumpy, and, of course, surrounded by apple trees.  Planet Diver had tried to stop, but he soon discovered Tinker had never repaired the brakes.  Even with his hoof off the gas, the automobile tumbled gracefully down the slight decline in the road.  Diver's salvation appeared in the form of a tall hill.  He thanked Celestia he had been able to maneuver safely to this point and allowed the deathtrap to coast up the hill.  Before he reached the top, he came to a complete stop.

Of course, what goes up must come down.  Planet Diver quickly found the hilltop receding as gravity took over and set a course for the bottom of the hill a split second later.

All it took was a quick glance backwards to confirm he was going to run into some trees if he didn't do something quickly.  Reluctantly, he pushed the gas back down and let the engine do what it was designed to do.  The wheels ground against the dirt path as they struggled to completely reverse the vehicle's direction.  After only a few seconds, Planet Diver was steadily beginning to climb up the hill.  He tapped the gas with careful, feather-light pokes of his hoof in order to slowly ascend the hill.  After managing to reach the top in one piece, he leaned back and let out the breath he'd been holding in.

He tensed back up when the automobile began rolling forwards down the other side of the hill.  His eyes looked down the road in an attempt to assess what obstacle was threatening to bring him an untimely death.  To his surprise, the road before him was a perfect straight-away.

He got a feeling akin to the one he got when he jumped off of Cloudsdale as a foal.  Ready to push the limits of safety, he gave the gas pedal a confident push.  The engine purred, pleased with his submission to the rush.  Planet Diver thanked Tinker for fastening his seat belt as the the impact of reaching the bottom of the hill threatened to throw him from his seat.  With nothing but smooth road ahead, he opened up the gas a little more.

Once again, Planet Diver was getting ahead of himself in the apple orchard.  At the same time, he was enjoying himself immensely.  Even after the straight path turned back into winding roads and hills, he kept tapping on the gas little by little.  He wished the breaks worked because then he could safely get a little more speed.

As he saw the barn appear back on the horizon, he made efforts to slow himself down.  He was still coming in hot when he arrived at the barn, so he performed a slow circle around it before the machine puttered to a halt out front.  Planet Diver took the nob Tinker had twisted to start the vehicle and spun it the other direction, silencing the engine.  He popped the helmet off and hopped out of the cab with a huge grin on his face.

"Okay, that was pretty cool," he admitted to Tinker who was shuffling awkwardly right in the doorway into the barn.  Planet Diver noted that Tinker wasn't alone, but Cogwheel, Snails, and Spike were nowhere to be seen.

"You have a knack for bringing out the worst in ponies, don't you?" Big Lugnut grunted, stepping out of the doorway to confront Planet Diver.  "I honestly don't have a big problem with you getting behind the wheel of that deathtrap, but the fact remains that I didn't want it driven at all.  You've gotten enough ponies to do what they shouldn't for my tastes, so I'm going to ask you to leave."

"I'll leave, but I want to talk to Pippin first," Planet Diver demanded.

"No, that's not happening."

"Fine, I'll just come by this evening."

"No."

"Alright, tomor-"

"Let me spell this out for you," Lugnut growled as he marched right up to the pegasus.  "I want you gone, and if I ever see you around here again I'll nail your wings to my back shoes and go apple bucking.  Am I understood?"

"... Couldn't be clearer."  Planet Diver turned and left, only looking back at the farmhouse once.  He sighed and continued towards the gate when he didn't see the pony he was looking for.  He did, however, find Sunny waiting for him just outside the farm's final threshold.

"So... how was the ride?" he asked as Diver trotted right past him and began flying off.  Sunny cantered after him, spreading his wings and taking off after his brother.

"I didn't like how it ended," Planet Diver grumbled.  Sunny had been there when Big Lugnut had shown up.  He expected the earth pony to tear a hole in the roof, but he was surprisingly calm.  Sunny explained to Planet Diver how he'd ordered everypony but Tinker to leave.  "I guess Pippin and her mom weren't able to talk him down..."

"What're you talking about?  He didn't kill you, right?" Sunny pointed out.  Planet Diver cast his gaze down on the building of Ponyville beneath them.

"You're missing the point.  He told me I can't see Pippin again, ever."

"Ah well, another day, another mare.  There are plenty of fish in the sea, so to speak," Sunny attempted to console his brother, but he'd missed the point completely.  Planet Diver spread his wings and dove down, landing in a tree in the middle of Ponyville.  Sunny followed after him, oblivious to why his brother had stopped.

"Sunny, we've already been over this;  I'm serious about Pippin."

"Serious like you want her to have your babies?" Sunny probed for more information.

"Not that serious... but, you know what?  Yeah, maybe one day.  She's different from the other mares I've been with," Diver tried to explain.  It had been less than twenty four hours, so he hadn't actually tried to reason out what was going on in his head.  "The other mares were just... just flings, you know?  I didn't know who they were, and I didn't care.  I was just out to have some fun.  Then Pippin shows up, and I know that she's not just some mare.  I know she used to be a kid and it would be wrong to just use her.  Even with everything that's going on, I think we actually have a shot at the real thing, you know?"  Sunny took off his sunglasses so Planet Diver could read it on his face just how lost he was.

"'She used to be a kid', really?  You never thought about where full grown mares come from?  You thought they just... spawned from clubs?"

"You know what I mean," Planet Diver grunted.

"Actually, I don't.  If I knew I wouldn't be asking... so... what did you mean?" Planet Diver rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh.

"I should have known you of all ponies wouldn't get it."

"I think I get it." Both stallions turned their attention to the end of the branch they were standing on.  Swansong was looking up at them from a window that lead into massive oak's interior.

"Uhm, hey... uh... this is a tree," Planet Diver explained the obvious.

"Well it sure isn't my mother-in-law.  This is Ponyville Library; it's built inside a tree.  Come in and take a look," Swansong offered, disappearing into the aged tree trunk.  The brothers glanced at each other and shrugged, but fluttered their wings and flew into the window themselves.  There was, indeed, a library inside the tree.

"Wow... way to put your fire hazards all in one place," Sunny chuckled, flying back into the air to examine the contents of the shelves.  Planet Diver took in his surroundings a little before turning his attention to the fetching unicorn who was smiling sweetly at him.  He had to remind himself that he was going after Pippin for a split second.

"I should have trusted Pippin's infallible character judgement skills, you're not as bad as the papers make you out to be."

"Ah... ha, you were listening, then?" Planet Diver asked, hoping that his awkward speech hadn't been heard by any pony other than his brother.  To his dismay, Swansong's smile went up another notch on the brightness scale as she nodded.  "Please don't tell anypony what I said... please."

"I don't know how much good that will do you," she admitted.  "By now, everypony in Ponyville probably knows you two got together last night.  Pippin did admit it in front of my mother and Aunt Sweetie Belle, and Celestia knows they can gossip faster than anything I've ever seen."

"Ponyfeathers..."

"I wouldn't worry much about what Ponyville thinks, instead I'd worry about Big Lugnut," Swansong warned.

"Well, he already hates me.  Not only am I exiled from Cloudsdale, but now I'm as good as dead if I step hoof in Sweet Apple Acres," Diver explained.  Swansong furrowed her brow and heaved a sigh.

"I was afraid that would happen.  I've never seen him that angry, even when Tinker caused that five vehicle pile-up in town.  He's always been wary of anything that could harm his children, and he's had a rough time of it too.  Pippin has always been flighty and careless and Tinker has a penchant for building mechanical disasters."

"What about the youngest one, Cogwheel?" Planet Diver asked, forcing another heartfelt sight out of Swansong.

"We don't know what's wrong with him, but we all know it's just a matter of time.  Pippin was a handful right from the get-go, Tinker was only trouble when he learned how to use a wrench, so everypony figures we have a year or two before it's time for Cogwheel to cause trouble."  From the little he'd seen of the young colt, Planet Diver found it hard to believe he could be a trouble maker.  Out of the three siblings, he appeared to have his head screwed on the tightest.  It could be possible there was pressure building up inside him, just waiting to burst.

"Swansong, do I have customers?" A voice called from upstairs.  Twilight Sparkle's head popped out of her office to see for herself if her normally deserted library had some patrons.  She recognized the two pegasus brothers as soon as she saw them.  "Oh... have you two come to check out a book?" she asked hopefully.

"Nope, we just dropped in on a whim," Sunny admitted, flipping through a thick tome before cramming it back onto the shelf and taking out another one.

"I see... they're not bothering you, are they Swansong?" Twilight asked.  Swansong shook her head.

"Not at all, we were just getting acquainted," Swansong assured her.  Twilight searched her words for a secret meaning, but the comfortable smile of the unicorn downstairs made her drop her defenses.

"Well, if anypony needs me I'll be in my office," Twilight reminded them as her head went back inside her doorway.  Her head poked back out momentarily.  "Oh, and tell me when Spike comes back.  I have mail that needs delivering."

"Sure thing," Swansong called back.  Twilight disappeared again, leaving the three young ponies to their own devices again.

"I thought Pippin said she ran a school or something," Planet Diver noted.  Swansong turned back to him with a confused look.

"Who?"

"Uh, her... Twilight, right?"  Swansong's face lit up.

"Oh, yes!  She's also runs the library and works as the librarian while she's here.  Spike is the regular librarian, but sometimes I fill in," Swansong explained.

"And when you're not filling in, what are you doing?" Sunny swooped down and asked.

"I actually just started teaching at Ms. Sparkle's school in the Magic department, just like I wanted!" Swansong clapped her hooves together in excitement.  "You see, I learned magic from Ms. Sparkle back when I was just a filly.  She could do so many amazing things that I always wanted to be just like her, but I also wanted to get better at magic for another reason."

"What would that be?" Planet Diver asked.

"Well, my dad can't talk because he's cursed.  I thought if I got good enough at magic and applied myself I could break it, so I worked really hard when I was little.  In the end though, I never was able to break his curse."

"Is there any way to break it?" Planet Diver questioned further.

"Well, there is one way," Swansong confessed.  "He would have to use music to make one thousand ponies cry."

"Jee, that's easy," Sunny laughed.  "You just hold a big concert and play some sappy tunes!  Easy peasy... if he could sing."

"He can sing," Swansong revealed.  The pegasi brothers gave her odd looks.  "It's a weird curse, but he actually did try that.  It wasn't until later that we learned that the ponies weren't supposed to cry because they feel sad or touched, but because they were... hurt."

"Oh... wow."  Sunny nodded to himself.

"Dad said he'd rather be mute forever than do something so horrible," Swansong noted with a dramatic tone.  "Speaking of my dad, I actually should be getting back home."  Swansong glanced up at the clock.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to keep you.  We should get going as well, right Sunny?" Planet Diver looked over at his brother, who took a brief glance around the library before responding.

"Yeah, this isn't really my scene."  The brothers and the unicorn departed from the tree and said good-bye before heading off to their respective destinations.  While flying to their temporary home, Planet Diver struck up a conversation with Sunny.  

"I have to see Pippin again."

"Well, you don't have to," Sunny reminded him.  "From what I remember, her huge dad plans on turning you into a pancake if he ever sees you on his property again."

"I'll just see her outside of his property.  He can't stop us from seeing one another," Planet Diver asserted.  He cast a longing glance back at where Sweet Apple Acres was disappearing over the horizon.

"I dunno, dude.  This is her father we're talking about.  He didn't kick you out of his home because he doesn't like your face, you know?" Sunny pointed out.

"I know, I know.  I just don't wanna admit it."  Planet Diver was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  He wanted to prove to Big Lugnut that he would treat Pippin like he wanted him to, but right now Big Lugnut didn't want Planet Diver treating her at all.

"You've gotta understand where he's coming from even a little, right man?  I mean, you remember the scumbags that tried to hit on JC at the conservatory, right?" Sunny was of course referring to the upper-crust pegasi that would go after their triplet sister every once and a while at the conservatory she went to.  Even if she was only there for less than a week each month, some poor stallion would show up at their doorstep with flowers.

"Not really, they all kinda run together after a while," Diver joked.  In all honesty, the brothers never investigated the ponies who wanted their sister's hoof, but they simply judged that nopony was good enough for their precious sister.  Planet Diver took a moment to reflect on protecting his own sister from stallions, but going after other mares without much regard.  "I guess when a mare is important to you, she's important to you," he muttered to himself.

"I think you just need to sleep this whole thing off.  Tomorrow morning, this whole Pippin thing won't even bother you!" Sunny assured his brother.  "Trust me, you'll sleep like a foal!"





Planet Diver could not sleep.  He stared up at the roof of his sister's old cloudhouse and got no closer to sleeping as the night dragged on.  His mind was full of other things besides sleep, and all of those things were Pippin.  He wanted to know what she thought about her father kicking him out.  He wanted to know if she wanted to see him too.  He wanted to talk to her for a while about anything, just to get to know her better.  He never knew much about the mares he'd been with, but with Pippin the fact ate at him.

Planet Diver rolled over and buried his face in his pillow.  All in all, he missed Pippin.  It was just that simple.  He was certain life in Ponyville would be hardship, but he was far more certain he could put up with it all if Pippin could be a part of it.  Planet Diver decided right then and there that he wasn't going to forget about her just because her father had more muscles in his legs than he did.

Planet Diver decided to do something just a little stupid.