Am I A Virgin Still?
"Dear Princess Luna,
Could we please talk tonight? I'd like to discuss what happened the last time if you were in my dreams, if it's not too much to ask, please. I have questions.
Sincerely,
Pipsqueak"
Those were the words I'd written a couple days ago and mailed off to Canterlot. I wrote them with a shade of embarrassment and confusion. Luna and I had done some... intimate things in my dream. Just thinking about it as I sit on the edge of my bed makes me blush. The heat rises from my cheeks.. She and I... so close... so very close... too close... felt so good... I was inside her... I spilled... my body... she... bliss...
Then I woke up.
I was so confused.
I needed to talk to her again. Sure it was fun, but I just felt... how do I say this...? Huh, no idea. So I penned a letter. Maybe she'll visit me in my dream tonight? She didn't last night, but a stallion can hope, right? But how am I going to talk to her again
I lay my head back down on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. For a moment, I think i see stars twinkling in the plaster ceiling, but a blink of my eyes dispels that illusion as nothing more than just random blurriness. And so I lie awake for hours, trying to wrestle myself down to sleep. It's all just so oddly contorted and twisted up inside me. It wasn't bad; it was in fact quite good, but it's all so unclear. I definitely wanted it, growing up, I'd ever fantasies about Princess Luna a fair bit. Then I got older, we'd fallen out of contact, and I'd started noticing fillies in that way. Even a beautiful alicorn you hardly ever see starts to fade in the mind when you're around toned fillies like Apple Bloom and her fine flank. And Sweetie Bell. And Scootaloo. Heavens, Scootaloo... I've a date with her next week. Goddess, Scootaloo had grown up to be a marvelous mare -- athletic, tough-headed, and good-natured, if still the same tomboy as always. It'd taken a special boost of confidence to ask her out, just yesterday in fact. I don't know what's more impressive: that I actually asked her, or that she said yes.
My breathing slows. I smile a little bit. Heh, I guess I got that going for me. That's nice. My eyes lid over just a bit as I look out the window. The moon is full and beautiful tonight. My eyes are getting heavy. Ahhh, this is nice, feeling myself get all relaxed and calm. That slight twisted feeling leaves my chest. Just before I close my eyes, I swear I see the shape of a midnight-coated mare in the moon and then outside my window. But I pay it no heed and take a deep breath. MMmmh... This is nice. Luna... I faintly feel a presence swoop near me, but it's soothing.
Imperceptibly later, I open my eyes. I feel fully away. I hear a sound behind me. Rolling over to face it, I find myself confronted with Princess Luna. Oh crap! A lump manifests somewhere in my guts and leaps into my throat. She's looking at me expectantly. My mouth goes dry as sandy cotton. My tongue nails itself down. "P-princes Luna!" I gasp, falling out of the bed as I try to stand up to bow. I shut my eyes to inwardly groan at the embarassment I'd just caused myself, only to hear the most surprising sound, a chuckle.
"No need for such formality, dear Pip." She offers me a hoof and I pull myself up. I sit down on the bed and she sits beside me. My body naturally picks up on this excitement, but I fight it down. I'm here to converse, not copulate.
We sit in silence for a moment. My embarrassed red flush turns to a more smouldering pink. Luna can definitely see it on my pinto piebald coat. I open my mouth. The first time, no words come out. No wind flows through the tunnel. I try again, but it comes out so strangled and confused. "I... stlll... n..."
"Speak, Pip," she reassures me, as reassuringly as it is possible to be when one is a powerful goddess having an intimate chat with a shy colt about a very intimate subject in a charged setting. I've never been a prude -- I've just never gotten to really talk much save when my parents gave me the talk, Cheerilee gave the class its education, and when talking smack with the guys. There was so much I wanted to say and ask, if only I could will my darn throat and mouth to comply.
I take a deep breath. "Did you get my letter...?" There, easy does it. Just breath, Pipsqueak, you moron. You can talk. She's just a mare -- just because you maybe did it once with her doesn't mean there's only working pair of lips between your two bodies.
"Yes, Pip, I did." She doesn't sound angry. She puts a leg around my back. "Relax, tis naught to be ashamed of. If anything, I should not have just left you like that afterwards." A metric ton of pressure I didn't even know I had evaporate from my body. Her touch feels nice... Do I detect a note of embarrassment in her voice?
Another pause. "So you know my question."
"Yes."
"Am I still a virgin?"
Luna purses her lips. I can't help but thinking of how we had kissed. That first intimate contact, the moment I had first known a mare's nice touch. She rocks back and forth, humming to yourself. Then, she turns to look me in the eye and reply, "Granted, it is true we were mated in the realm of dreams, physically, we never made such contact with our physical bodies in the waking world."
Not the answer I was hoping for? Why must this be so damn complicated? "Sooo...?" I see her give a slight smile. She tosses her gaseous mane with her hoof as if she had thought this talk as awkward as me.
"You are whatever you consider yourself to be." That doesn't help. "But even if we joined a thousand times in dreaming, your body would react as if touched the first time waking."
"Can I say it's complicated?" I draw air quotes around that weasel phrase, as much as I hate using it myself, I really do have to cede it's not so clear cut here and now. In a search for more clarity, I venture out timidly, "So, could I say you gave me my first time just not physically?"
"Indeed. Twas no mere dream -- it was as real there as it would have been waking.
"So if we had done it - in the real world, I mean, it would've been like that, Princess?"
"Luna. And yes."
I let out a short bark of laughter. "I guess it's not every day that one gets their virginity taken by a beautiful goddess of Equestria." The beautiful goddess in question strokes my mane. In return, I brush her upper thigh as warm feelings flood in my heart.
"So, how do you feel?"
Those feelings crash. I look around before answering. "Confused, honestly." I feel ashamed -- how could I possibly feel badly about having a phenomenal erotic experience for my first time?
"Such an answer does not surprise us." My ears perk up. "Tell us, do you feel conflicted?"
"Yeah..." I cede in barely more than a whisper. "I mean, it was great. I mean, you were perfect," I stumble. "It's just that, it's a lot to take in and all, you know?"
"Do you perhaps wish you had not?"
I shake my head. "I don't know. It's just that... I don't really know much about sex. That's all." I try to convince the both of us.
Luna reclines on the bed and she pulls me down with her. My head is comfortably beneath her chin like a shelf. "In your letter, you said you had questions in the plural."
"Yeah." I feel so soothed here. It's nice. Warm -- she's soft and smells good. I decide mares are nice...
"Might I perchance be trusted to answer them?"
I snort with laughter. "Uh, no, I'm not getting the sex talk from a princess -- it's just... weird." Weird, really? Since when was any of this normal!?
Luna looks down her snout at me to give me the driest eye-rolling I've ever gotten. It's like a dozen Cheerilees giving me that 'what do you mean your homework is in your other ruck' while expressing their frustration out loud. "Art thou sure?" She apologizes with her eyes, catching the embarrassment of accidentally slipping into an archaic dialect I might not understand. At least she hadn't used the Royal Canterlot Voice. I nod back to her. "Are you sure?"
"Who better to teach you than one who has experienced millennia of glorious copulation?" I hear her getting slightly excited. I'm going to get more than a basic talk about everything being okay between adults who love each other very much.
"Okay. Shoot."
Luna draws a deep, slow breath. It's not one drawn to brace for something unpleasant. It's one drawn because one has a lot to say and even she isn't sure how to say it. "Pip, is this thing we are doing at this very moment intimate?"
"Uh, maybe?" I don't know.
She wraps a limb around me and snuggles closer. "Indeed it is." And so is this. Without warning, she swoops down and kisses me on the lips. Those first kisses last time... I blink in surprised confusion. "You see, Pip, sex is just one aspect of intimacy. Tis one most pleasurable, but to it is all there is to intimacy is to say that apples are all there is to fruit. It is something to be shared with those dear to you. For fun, for love, for affection, and merely because it is pleasant. Touch is pleasant, is it not?" I nod. "Then please embrace me." I comply, shakily wrapping a foreleg around my alicorn. I squeeze, basking in her delightful embrace. "This pleases you, does it not?"
"Yes, Luna. It's very nice." I can't help but smile broadly while her smile is composed and refined, but her eyes shine with warm happiness.
"We are pleased, I see. So, Pip, what is the most intimate act two ponies can do together?"
"S-sex?" I blush, feeling my body stirring down below. Luna is ignoring it, though I can smell her, too.
"Close, but thou art not entirely correct in your assumption. The most intimate experience is one wherein you do nothing but surrender yourself to the touch of your fellow. Sex is mere biology and pleasure -- I have had congress which was mechanical and nuzzles which made my heart flutter. There is nothing colder than being used as meat and nothing warmer than affection. And although love is Cadance's domain, everypony should know what a caress feels like. Thus I teach you."
"But why me? Why did you choose to teach me, Luna?"
"Because I looked into your dreams and saw you lonely and fearful of mares. This is not right for a young stallion, so I sought to educate you with some direct experience...
"But I haven't seen you really since Nightmare Night years ago."
"But I have kept watch on you, Pip, through your dreams, as I watch over all our subjects."
Silence. The implications became clear to me as I remembered my own rather risque nighttime fancies. I almost can't ask, but I have to. Held tightly to her soft body, I feel safe. "So you see all kinds of dreams, Princess Luna?"
"Luna," she corrects me. "Also yes."
"Even ones that are more... vivid...?"
"Indeed."
I whisper, "Even mine?"
"Assuredly."
"And you're okay with that? You're not scared, angry, or disturbed?"
"You forget that we have lived for thousands of years and have seen every kind of dream there is. You imagining being tag teamed while tied up by the Cutie Mark Crusaders are mild to us." SHE KNOWS! I heat up and go bright red.
"Th-That's private!!"
"And so are all dreams I witness. Not even our dear sister is told of what we see.
"How'd you like it if somepony saw you having sex in their dream?"
Another little chuckled and another nuzzle on top of my head. "Oh, Pip, we remember the oldest of days, back when ponies didn't have things like bedrooms and the like. Back then, if a mare and a stallion wished to join, they just did it. The privacy normal for you is merely recent in origin. We, my sister and I, have been taken perhaps a shared million times in full view of others in those distant days. And did you know that Celestia is a screamer? She hath deafened a great many ponies in the throes of passion -- Royal Canterlot Voice indeed!"
She's laughing. I'm speechless, choking on my own tongue."Oh... my..."
" So, therefore, Pip, fear not to offend or disturb us; we have literally seen and done it all."
A crazy idea strikes me. "Could you show me?"
"Now why would I do that?" I blush. Didn't think this through, that's for sure. "If every time you wanted some company, all you had to do was shut your eyes and wait for your princess to come fornicate with you, would you have any incentive to go out and meet real mares, take real lovers, have real experiences, and grow?"
"No, I wouldn't"
"True. And in your case, it would be a waste of my visits to a certain young pegasus. Would'st thou fulfill a mare's dreams...?"
A light goes off in my head. "Are you why she seemed so enthusiastic?"
"Surely not us; we shall never tell what we have seen, only done..." She has the biggest wicked grin.
I feel really comfortable with Luna. She's so relaxing, good at putting me at ease. "Luna, have you ever seen yourself being mated with in ponys' dreams?"
"We have done witnessed that, Pip," she grins back. I snuggle deeper into her, wrapping my other foreleg around her, but lower down by her waist. This is heavenly.
I feel tension in my chest as I ask, "And how does that make you feel?"
"Flattered." Luna answers simply. "That some pony would find us so desirable as to dream of copulation with us. Sometimes, when that pony doth please us, we take that facsimile's place, and even sometimes, insert ourselves in, with or without our dream facsimile."
"Wow, really? You use dreams as a sexual playground?"
"Playground," she teases. "We are beyond mere virginal bumbling as you imply -- every dream coupling in which we partake is an exquisite piece of erotic art in motion."
"Fancy way to say wet dream," I laugh. "How do those compare to well, um, doing it for real?"
"Well, we shan't spoil too much for you, but imagine if you had been immobilized for several minutes after our tryst. Dream sex is good, but real sex is amazing. Tis truly an exquisite feeling to be filled all the way, your mate inside you, holding you tight as he ruts you furiously before succumbing to pleasure as you both are overwhelmed in carnal ecstasy, him calling your name in grunts as you scream his... Stallions describe the insides of a mare as wet, warm, and soft..." She hums happily with a slight electrical cheeriness. Her hips wriggle a bit, teasing me. My cheeks burn again. Such a wild mare she is!
"Then why do you do so much dream sex?"
"I know you did not think to hear such words from us, but do not forget that we too are a mare with needs and desires. My sister and I, we are goddesses and mares, not machines. Sadly, our position makes it difficult to satisfy ourselves in the waking world often. Is there anything wrong with a little dreaming? No, there is not. Masturbation and intercourse do not eliminate the place of the other, nor do reality and dreams."
"It sounds like it takes a lot to make a mare happy."
"Stallions, too. No pony is simply happy when their needs are not met."
"I thought males were supposed to be simple creatures."
She laughs, "Not in the least! Physically, they may be somewhat easier to please by an accident of nature, but they have all the emotions and complexities of us mares, too."
"What does it take to make a mare happy?"
"Pay attention to her, tell her your affection, kiss her, boop her, hold her, talk, go places, make love."
"My mom's already told me most of those things..." I reply. "I meant in bed."
A giggle from Luna. "Tis no sure way to please all mares. Each of us is different. What pleases me will not please another quite as well; thou must learn to talk and pay attention. Never be afraid to ask what excited or pleases her, be not stingy with pleasurable affections, and mother of me, always ensure that all participants are willing and lubricated thoroughly. And pay attention! Tis most arousing when ones lover figures something out without your needing to ask."
"That sounds like a lot. How will I ever remember it?"
"You won't. A better lesson would be to have fun and give freely. If all are happy, tis good."
I remember those feelings of unease. I ask her, "So, about my first time..."
"Yes?"
"Luna.." I pause. I continue, "I don't know how I feel."
She caresses my cheek. "We are familiar with this. You have only to ask yourself did you enjoy your first time and do you regret it?"
"Luna, nonono, I really liked my first time -- it felt great, and... I guess I don't really regret it."
"And yet tis fine to feel strangely about it. You will come to terms with it before long, and find yourself craving it a thousand times again.
I smile. "Thanks, Luna," I say, hugging her tighter. I look at her lips. They're so fine and look so soft. Gathering my courage, I kiss her quickly. To my surprise, her lips push back at mine. She strokes my back. I stroke hers. And it's all really really okay. Superb, actually. Better than the best. Not even being inside her made me feel this close. We cuddle and kiss for unknown hours. I am in heaven and I feel like perhaps she is, too. "Are you this loving with all the colts you deflower?"
"Nay, only the cute ones." I see her frown.
"Luna, what is it?"
"The hour draws late, Pip, and soon we both must awaken." Not the best thing I've ever heard.
"Okay, I say, nuzzling her cheek. Can I just ask for one thing, please, my favorite princess ever?"
"Certainly."
"Can we do this again sometime?"
A genuine broad smile from the lunar diarch. She has such a pretty smile. "I cannot promise that, but if you need me when I pass your dreams, I shall comfort you."
"Thanks, Luna. I needed this... You're the best..." I snuggle into her one last time and reinforce my grip on her silky fur. So soft and warm. This is truly pure bliss. So pleasant... I feel myself drifting off...
Then it is light. I wake up with the biggest smile on my face. For a second, I see Luna in the golden morning light smiling at me through my window. I smile at her and close my eyes again. I am so glad I wrote that letter. My heart is as high as the moon.