Have you lost a dear one long before their time? Accidents, monsters, foreign attack... they can all leave you with a hole in your heart. We can fill it, and give your loved one another chance.
Have you lost a dear one long before their time? Accidents, monsters, foreign attack... they can all leave you with a hole in your heart. We can fill it, and give your loved one another chance.
Twilight's little spell does not remain as secret as she would have liked it. Now another, less scrupulous, soul has it and means to make good use of it. There are aliens that are not only willing, but eager to step into the hooves of a pony. Matched up with a pony in need, and everyone wins. Right?
Do you know me, the author? I don't tend to wallow in darkness, but the theme of the story, the central conceit, is pretty dark, so there's the tag.
The orange earth pony mare squirmed a little in her chair. She had her stetson in her hoof over her chest and looked towards the unicorn that might have answers. "So, can ya do it?"
She blew a black and blue lock out of her eyes. "Of course. We wouldn't make such a promise without being certain." She approached the farmer with slow steps. "As my name is Doctor Fetlock, your loved one will be returned to you. There is, however, a catch."
Applejack scowled. "Ain't there always. What is it, ya want mah farm or somethin'?"
Fetlock waved a hoof as she laughed. "No! No. What use would I have for that? The bits will please me, however, the process is more complicated than you might think. We will conjure a spirit of sorts."
"Mah brother's spirit?!" blurted Applejack, her eyes wide.
"That is a good way of thinking of it." Fetlock nodded as she circled Applejack's chair. "They will be confused, and act strangely. They won't even look right. In fact, they will look very very strange indeed, but that is how spirits function. You will take them home and teach them." She suddenly paused and a smile spread. "No, more of reminding them. Remind them who they are, and as they come to remember, they will become more and more the pony you desire."
Applejack's eyes followed the 'doctor' as she went around the front of her chair. "Most doctors ah know don't really deal with spirits."
"Most doctors you know can't do a thing for your brother."
Applejack winced at the barbed point. "True... Will... Will it really be him?"
Fetlock shoved a clipboard with a thick collection of papers on it towards Applejack. "Sign here and we'll make it happen. After that, it's up to you."
Applejack let out a little sigh. Large parts of her were screaming that it was wrong, so wrong, and yet... The idea of living without her beloved brother, let alone little Apple Bloom not having her big brother, it was too much. As much as she had made airs of being a strong independent mare, it was a big farm, and being one set of hooves down also hurt. It hurt on every level. She wanted her brother back...
She grabbed the pen provided in her mouth and started filling out the form.
Cause of Death: ______
"Do ah have to fill that?"
Fetlock nodded. "We must ensure we contact the right spirit. Every question should be filled to the best of your ability."
Applejack began to tell the tale of her big brother, writing how he had gone to make the delivery of pies. He had all the supplies. He had the whip. He had the rubber boots. He had everything, but it didn't work out... He never made his delivery. The farm was out the bits for the order, and a beloved brother. They had done it so many times before, but.... there they were.
Applejack quickly brushed away the tears she had shed on the paper, leaving a few streaks. "Shoot, that ain't gunna ruin it, ah hope?"
Fetlock shook her head. "It's only natural. Please, continue."
AJ filled in all the vital details it asked for. Height, weight, length, coloration and cutie mark. It even asked for disposition and habits and other questions about him as a pony. An hour had slid by as she described Big Mac in just about every way. With the last answer completed, Applejack sat back a moment. "Alright."
Fetlock's horn glowed as she gently snatched the clipboard. "Thank you. And the payment?"
Applejack raised a brow. "Now, ah may be a mite upset, but ah ain't an idjit, and ah know a con. Ah'll gladly pay... after ah get mah brother back, not before."
Fetlock's pristine expression sagged into a moment before it bounced back into a bright smile. "You are my first customer, so, yes, I understand your doubt." She waved the clipboard lightly. "I will take the risk. We will bring your brother back to you, but you must promise to help endorse it, if it works, which it will."
Applejack tapped her chin. She didn't want to endorse anything again unless she was absolutely sure. "Ah'll be the judge if it works or not. But if it does... ah'll do that."
Their hooves met with a loud clop before Fetlock turned away. "I will begin the summoning straight away. You'll go home with what will be your brother. Just remember, he will be confused, ugly, and erratic. It's up to you to tame him and remind him. He'll return to being your loving sibling."
It sounded too good to be true, which meant it probably was. Applejack was on high alert even as Fetlock sauntered out of the room and left her alone and waiting.
Fetlock brushed a hoof over a switch, summoning the lights in her work area. She looked over the intricate patterns on the ground and nodded at them. Ready, she moved to sit in a small circle outside the larger one. She began to recite the information given on the pad, her horn rippling with strange light as she sent the words across the spread of realities.
Her message was long and precise, but boiled down to a simple idea. Who wanted to be Big Mcintosh? Who was willing to come to Equestria and assume that role.
Her words caused the crystals dangling from the ceiling to start glowing with spectral hues. The magic flowing from her caused them to sway and shake and dance with one another without ever colliding.
The circle began to glow as if the patterns were being slowly filled with molten silver. She had a match. It was coming. Fetlock increased the volume of her words as she kept working down the sheets of information. She wanted a perfect match. Fetlock felt the barrier between there and the next world begin to distort. It was time. She plunged a hoof down with a terrific clop, and it broke.
That distended air burst free and a human form was spat out onto the ground. It was human. That was already changing. Equestria would not tolerate the presence of a creature that did not belong there. The male sat up, blinking, even as his ears began to grow red fuzz over them. "Where am I?"
Fetlock pointed at him. "You're here because you want to be."
"I do?" He focused on the unicorn before him. "Holy hell! A unicorn!" He scrambled backwards, only to hit the side of the summoning circle and find it solid as any wall.
Fetlock smiled gently. "That I am, but you have nothing to fear from me. I'm here to give you exactly what you want. You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to be a pony on some level, specifically a big... handsome stallion with red fur and amazing strength."
The human's ears began to lengthen slowly, an action that he could clearly feel as a hand snapped up to swat at the ticklish sensation and he paled. "You're turning me into a pony?!"
"You are." Fetlock swiveled an ear at him. "You will be what you want to be. You will be Big Mac."
"B-but... isn't there already a Big Mac? I don't--"
Fetlock put a hoof on the circle, the air rippling around the point of contact. "Your sister is here, waiting for you. She loves you dearly, Big Mac. All you have to do is listen to her, follow her, and accept this life."
"A-Applejack?" The human flushed. He'd have Applejack as a sister? It was wrong! He wasn't Big Mac. He was... He was....
He sank to the ground, face a mask of confusion and horror. He couldn't remember his name. "Who am I?"
"Big Mcintosh," provided Fetlock helpfully. "You are the brother of Applejack, of the Apple family. Apple Bloom, your little sister, misses you terribly since you've been away so long after that delivery."
Big Mac thought back over his life even as his ears extended and curled, slowly taking a more pony shape. He had worked long and hard to become manager at a clothing store. Applejack was so proud of him when he had come home to tell her the news.
W-wait, was that right? He could imagine her bright face beaming with pride. Little Apple Bloom was there too. She teased him about having such a 'girly' job, but she was proud too, in her own way. He had a girlfriend... what was her name? Sasha. Yes. The image of a human felt odd next to all the visions of his pony family, but there she was.
"I had a girlfriend," he said out-loud, trying to figure things out.
Fetlock shook her head. "Don't be silly. You had a marefriend." She flipped through her notes quickly. "Ah, yes, you've had your eyes on Miss Cheerilee, a teacher from the local school."
The human that was becoming Big Mac knew Cheerilee, and his girlfriend's memory was replaced instantly. That seemed more natural. Of course his girlfriend was a pony too. That just fit... Those pretty flowers, that hopeful smile. She always cared about the chil--foals.
Fetlock smiled, watching the human dig through muddled memories. "Are you ready to meet your sister?"
"Huh? Yeah."
"That's 'Yup'."
Big Mac blushed. Of course. Since he'd learned to listen more and speak less, that's all he needed most of the time. "Ayup." He felt a pain and looked back as something burst free of his pants. A long tail formed and gave a sway. He had Big Mac's tail, his tail. He always wanted a tail. He always had a tail? He decided he just liked his tail.
Deciding the human was safe, Fetlock dismissed the circle, causing it to fade back to dark lines. "Come. She'll be so happy to see you."
Back in the other room, Applejack was getting bored out of her mind, and doubtful beside. She let out a low grunt as she hopped to the ground. "Bet that charlatan's busy--"
The door opened. Her eyes snapped over to see Fetlock and... something curious. It had two legs. It also had Big Mac's ears and tail. Could that really be? It was so... funny looking. "Big Mac?"
The human nodded. "Yup." He took a step towards her. "Applejack?" He'd always wanted to meet Applejack. Applejack was his sister. Those two things didn't quite mesh up right and left him staggered and confused.
Fetlock walked past him. "As I warned, he will be confused and lost. Take care of him, remind him, and love him. He'll come around."
Applejack gave the barest hint of a nod. It was like seeing a ghost. Could that really be her brother? "A-ah ain't payin' a bit until ah'm sure!" She trotted up to the human and reached up a hoof to touch one of his hands. "Where do you live?"
He blinked and gave an address but ended it with, "on the Apple Farm."
Applejack hiked a brow. "Ya got the address all mixed up, but the last part's right." She could doubt and poke and prod, but she was hurting, and she wanted her brother. If that was the way to get him back... "Come on, brother. Ah'll help ya remember."
Fetlock watched with a smile as Applejack and her would-be brother departed. Once they were out of sight, she clopped her hooves together. Things were looking up!
Applejack tossed a blanket over 'Big Mac', tepidly assuring him that he was a surprise. That much was true. Many Apples would be surprised... She got him home to the farm, but stopped him a good distance from the house proper. "Now, you wait here. Ah'll break the news to 'em."
She trotted away from the quiet figure under the blanket. She shook her head as she approached the door. Was that really Big Mac? Large parts of her said no, but the other part, that desperate hope... "Ah'll give 'em a chance at least..." She pushed open the door to find Granny and Apple Bloom at the front table. They both looked up at her, their hooves sticky with some jam they were making together.
AB broke into a huge smile. "Big sis! Ah thought ya might not come back!" She bounced to her hooves and left a trail of sticky prints on her way to pounce Applejack.
Applejack couldn't be mad. She hugged her little sister gently. "Ah have some news. Ah... did done tried something. It may be nothin' in the end. All ah ask is that ya two give it a try, alright?"
Granny cocked a brow with obvious skepticism. "Now, ya wouldn't be sayin' that if ya didn't already know ya done goofed. Stop playing around and get to th' point. What'dja do?"
Apple Bloom buried her face into Applejack's neck, nuzzling and losing herself in it. "It can't be that bad. Just don't go away, please?"
Applejack's heart wrenched at Bloom's words. No filly so small should have to deal with so much loss, or so she thought. Well, maybe she could make it right. "Ah... saw somethin', and it's crazy, but ah had to try."
As if conjured on cue, the door opened behind them, allowing a confused human to step in. "Applejack?"
Granny's vision swerved off to the human, blinking softly. "Oh, well, hello there? Welcome to the App--"
Applejack spun around to face him. "Hello, Big Mcintosh. It sure is nice to see you, now go wait outside."
She set Bloom down with one hoof while pointing out with the other. "Don't--"
Bloom was staring at what would be Big Mac. The fur color was right, but the body was all wrong. The human's face was slowly, bit by bit, pushing out into a pony snout. Already it had the hard lines of Big Mac. He had that straw blonde mane and tail. Still... "That ain--"
Applejack thrust a hoof back, popping it into Bloom's mouth with expert aim. "Outside."
"Ayup." He turned to head out and left without another word.
Granny slid to her own hooves. "Ah don't reckon ah understand what yer up to, young filly, but don't be thinkin' this is funny. That ain't no Big Mac!"
Bloom bobbed her head. "What she said. That's not even a pony!"
Applejack nodded. "Ah know it's odd, but hear me out. That's Big Mac's spirit, or somethin' like that. He's all messed up 'cause he was, you know. Speaking of which, don't talk about that. We treat him like Big Mac. We see what happens."
Granny shook her head. "How much did you pay for this? Was this those Flim-Flam Brothers again?"
Applejack smiled, proud of herself a moment. "Ah didn't pay not one bit. Either he works out, and we have our Big Mac back, or he don't, and we lose nothin'. Please... can ya try?"
Bloom glanced between her sister and her grandmother before she rose to her full height. "Ah'm gonna test 'em!" She dashed out even as Applejack reached for her.
Outside, the supposed Big Mac had settled himself on a rock and was fiddling with his tail, petting it slowly. Had he always had a tail? Of course he had. It was a nice tail, as tails went. He was startled out of his thoughts as he heard the approaching scamper of little hooves and looked up to see Apple Bloom rushing him.
A smile spread. Apple Bloom was adorable, her and her friends. He couldn't believe he was right in front of her. But he was her brother. Of course he should be near her.
Bloom slowed as she saw the human looking at her, smiling, then looking so confused. Was he sick? She tilted her head a little, wondering if that was Big Mac. She had doubts, big ones. "Big Mac." He looked to her with renewed focus. "Answer me this. What's the most embarrassin' memory we have togetha'."
Big Mac considered that a moment. "Ayup." He paused a moment before providing a little answer. "Ah wore a dress fer you."
Bloom flashed a big smile. That was a good one. Maybe not what she'd rate as most, but up there. She had to test further. She could hear Applejack and Granny approaching. "What did ya say after all that? Just the two of us."
He frowned with thought. He couldn't remember the whole thing, but one part came to him. "Be your hero again. Even if it was for just a day."
Applejack and Granny caught up with them, both looking between the two, especially Apple Bloom's wide eyes. Applejack reached to put a hoof on Bloom's shoulder. "Now look--"
"He's him!" squeaked Bloom, pointing at Big Mac. "It's really him!"
Granny and Applejack both recoiled at the strength of the filly's declaration. They looked to the strange chimera even as his snout finished pushing out into the bold red lines of Big Mac. Fur covered that new snout, but he was still disturbingly human much everywhere else.
He was a mess, but he was also being hugged by a delighted Apple Bloom. "Ah thought ya were gone ferever and ever! Don't ya ever do that again!"
Granny gave a doubting look towards Applejack before clearing her throat. "Yes, well, welcome back, Big Mac. You must be powerful tired. Why don't ya go freshen up a spell and take a load off yer hooves."
Big Mac suddenly looked at his hands. Those were not hooves. Big Mac had hooves. He should have hooves. A memory flashed in his confused mind. It was Christmas and he opened a present with an odd shape. Was it a Power Glove? Oh boy he hoped so! Nope, just gloves...
But Big Mac never had gloves. Why would a pony ever have gloves? Something was wrong...
Apple Bloom pressed her tear-streaked snout against Big Mac. "Come on! We're gonna take care of ya real good. No more disappearing ever again!"
Bloom needed her big brother. He was her big brother. He couldn't make her think he was sick anymore. He'd gotten better. "Ayup." He grabbed her lightly and tossed her onto his shoulders, carrying her along towards the house as she squealed with relieved joy.
Granny leaned in close to Applejack. "Now look what'dja gone done. If he don't work out, it's gonna break her little heart, again."
Applejack pulled her hat down over her chest. "Look... Granny, if he don't work out, it won't be just hers. Let's just... See how it goes. Don't ya want Big Mac back?"
Granny raised a hoof and slid it across her wrinkled face slowly. "Ah ain't no stranger to how life goes, dearie. Ah know you're in some mighty big pain right now, but..." She pointed out into the orchard. "Has there ever been an apple tree ya planted that didn't eventually get old?"
As a matter of fact, there had been. She wasn't old enough yet to see all the trees she ever planted die, still... "Ah get where ya goin', but..." She rolled a hoof. "It was a unicorn, not Flim or Flam. They got magic. They..."
Granny shook her head. "They break what's natural is what they do." She let out a slow breath. "Look, ah can see ya two really want this. Whatever that is, it ain't Big Mac, not ours... but if it'll put the smile back on her face, ah'll play along fer now. Jus' keep an eye on it. Ah don't want it hurtin' nopony."
Inside, Apple Bloom pointed the way to the restroom where she hopped free of Big Mac and watched him wash up with those funny hands he had. He splashed water on his snout, one of the few things that looked right. "Say, don't it feel weird, walkin' like that?"
Big Mac looked at her placidly a moment. "Nope."
Bloom shook her head before she raised and set down each of her hooves in turn. "Yer a pony, act like one."
Big Mac considered that a moment before he slowly sank down in a crouch. He reached out with a hand, then the other. Soon he was standing in the awkward way a human must to be on all fours.
Bloom circled him quickly, then reached up and tapped him on the flank, or where the flank should be on a pony. "Yer legs are too big."
Too big... It made sense. As Big Mac accepted the idea that his legs were too big, they began to correct. He submitted himself just a bit more to the harmony of the world and he slowly evened out before Bloom's wide eyes until he was standing straight on all fours.
Every inch was like someone was roughly squeezing and pulling at his insides. He could swear he felt things breaking and snapping, but coming together so quickly that he didn't fall. But it did hurt! He wanted to shout, to scream, but Big Mac tried not to shout. He was Big Mac. He bore it as stoically as he could, just wincing as his body came closer to matching the large stallion he was supposed to be.
Apple Bloom clopped her hooves excitedly. "Ya did it! Yer gettin' better." She hopped up and hugged her funny-looking brother tightly around the neck. "Ah knew ya could do it."
Big Mac smiled. The pain felt lessened. It had been worth it to bring happiness to Apple Bloom. He wanted to see her happy more. "What else is wrong?"
Bloom slid to the ground. "Ya did great. Don't stress yerself out none. Go on and get a nap." She shook a hoof, still sticky with what little jam had managed to stay on it with all her hugging and running. "Ah'll wash up."
Applejack and Granny stepped back in the house. AJ raised her head. "Apple Bloom!" The little foal came rushing in and AJ smiled with relief. Apple Bloom was not only well, but she looked happier than she had for quite a while. "Everythin' alright?"
Apple Bloom bobbed her head. "Why didn't ya tell me he was just cursed or somethin'. We should take him to Zecora and get him fixed."
Granny frowned a little. "Ah think ah had plenty magic fer one lifetime if ya asked me, which ya didn't, but too bad."
Applejack rubbed at her cheek. "Let's give Big Mac a chance to unwind first before we go considerin' anything like that."
Bloom was scowling at Granny, not paying much mind to the words Applejack had just said. "Zecora's a great mare. She taught me plenty of things, and she's super nice."
Granny snorted softly. "She's fillin' yer head with crazy notions."
"She's teaching me how to alchemize." Apple Bloom sat down with her head as high as it would go. "Ah'll be able to keep our apple trees big and strong, even when big nasty pests come along." She held up a little hoof. "Ah know you don't get it, but ah do. We should at least ask."
Neither of the older mares seemed convinced. It would take more advanced tactics.
As Big Mac sat beside a window in the funny way that ponies are known for, he peered out over the picturesque apple trees. Apples he would share responsibility for. Big Mac would know exactly what to do, but he didn't. He wasn't Big Mac...
A gentle knock came from the door before Applejack poked her nose in. "Say, uh, Big Mac? Gotta moment?"
He looked over towards Applejack. She seemed like a good person, but was she his sister? He couldn't remember what his real sister was, but it... it wasn't her. "Ayup."
Applejack stepped in and nudged the door shut behind her. "I want to talk, you n' me, private like. This..." Applejack squirmed a little. "Are you Big Mac?"
"... Nope."
Applejack slumped a little. The thing that would be Big Mac was looking more like him. His legs were coming in, thickening out to proper pony limbs and carrying him as a pony should be carried. "What are you?"
"Don't know." The not Big Mac frowned a moment before he pointed downstairs. "Apple Bloom."
Applejack jerked. Had he just said he was...? "What?" It struck her even as she said it. "Oh... yeah... She's got it right in her head that yer really him."
Big Mac rose to his hooves which were busily becoming more and more powerful as Equestria molded him to the role. "Fer her." He approached Applejack on slow hooves, still getting used to his altering form. "You..." He winced, trying to fight through the fog of his memory. "Mah name..."
Applejack hurried to meet him. "S'alright. Ain't nopony gonna be forced in mah house."
Her reassurance made some of his muscles relax. It made all of him relax. Would being her brother be too awful? He could do far worse. He leaned in and kissed her cheek gently. "A secret, between siblings."
Applejack perked her ears. "W-what?"
"My human name is Christopher." He put a hoof to his swelling chest. "Only you and me. To everyone else, Big Mac."
Applejack crashed to her haunches. "That... Are ya sure? Ah mean..." She scrunched her face. "This ain't right."
"No." He sat down with her. "It ain't. Ah won't let her cry no more."
Applejack quirked a smile. "That's right kind of you, but it's too much."
He put a hoof to her snout, gazing at her with those big deep eyes that Big Mac always had. "Ayup." He slid the hoof off her snout and held it out for a hug. "Ah ain't yer Big Mac, but I'll try."
Applejack took a timid half-step back, struck with the fullness of just how much she had asked of... Christopher. She burned that name into her mind. "Look, if ya wanna go home, ah'll do everythin' ah can fer ya. This ain't right!"
Chris turned to the mirror, looking out at it even as he felt fur tickle over the last bits of naked flesh he had. He was a pony. It wasn't a bad feeling. The saddest part was knowing there were others that would miss him, maybe just as awfully as Applejack and her sister missed the large red stallion he had been shaped to be. "Ah don't figure ya can do that."
Applejack raised a hoof and rubbed along a leg. "Not me, not personal-like... but Twilight! You know her, right?"
Chris perked an ear at Applejack. He remembered Twilight. "Can she do that?"
"Only one way ta know." Applejack nodded firmly. "Look, this... If there's any way ah can make this right, we're gonna."
Chris weighed the options. There were people right there that needed him. There were people somewhere else that might or might not need him. He couldn't remember them very well. No matter which he tried to reach, he would be hurting someone. Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith, those faces were right there. They were right there and they needed him.
He leaned in and kissed her other cheek. "Nope."
"Nope?" Applejack blinked up at the large form of her brother. "What're ya sayin', exactly?"
Big Mac pointed at himself. "Ah'm Big Mac, brother of Applejack and Apple Bloom. Ah help on the farm. Ah don't talk much."
Applejack quirked a smile at the summary. "It's too much--" Her words were cut off as the large stallion hugged her close and tight.
Tears she hadn't been aware she'd been holding back began to spill. The hug felt just like him. He smelled right. He held her just so and said nothing. If Applejack stopped thinking about it, she was in the embrace of her brother.
The next day, Apple Bloom was guiding Big Mac along. "C'mon, faster!"
Big Mac smiled patiently at his little sister. She was a bundle of energy. She always was, and he loved her for it. "Ayup."
They were going off into a forest. It tickled his memory. The Everfree? Why were they there? He looked left and right, scanning for dangers as he went. "Stay close."
Apple Bloom stuck out her tongue. "Stay on th' trail and keep straight. We'll be there soon."
True to her words, they emerged into a clearing with a hut that he recognized swiftly. They had come to Zecora's home. Apple Bloom rushed ahead of him up to the door and clopped on it eagerly.
It swayed open and a zebra stepped from the inside. "Why isn't this a surprise? To see two friends, one large, the other pint-sized. Come inside where it is safe, I trust my home will not chafe." She waved inside and soon everyone had entered.
Big Mac watched her curiously. She was a pony, but there were differences. She was a zebra, and was built just differently enough for those differences to feel bigger than they were.
Apple Bloom hopped up onto a stool and pointed at Big Mac. "He done got hurt and cursed and confused. Can ya fix 'em?"
Zecora blinked softly, then turned to Big Mac. She began examining him quite intently before she stepped closer and began tapping at him with her hooves. She even squeezed his snout to get his tongue out and looked that over. "Hmm..." She wandered off and got a crystal and returned to look through it at Big Mac. "Hmm..."
"What is it? Can ya fix 'em?!"
"I must ask you to wait outside, for there are words which I must confide. It won't be long, this I swear, so please just wait over there." Zecora opened the door and permitted the pouting Apple Bloom to step out.
"Yer gonna help, right?"
Zecora just nodded at little Bloom, then closed the door gently. She looked back to Big Mac. "Your spirit is most confused, but with Big Mac I think it has fused."
Big Mac perked his ears at her. Had she seen he was a fake so easily? "Fer her."
Zecora glanced to the door Big Mac had pointed at and back at him. "To all starts, there is an end--"
Before she could finish, he put a hoof to her snout. "Ah'm alright."
Zecora raised a brow skeptically. "What I see is quite rare. A living spirit for this to bare. I can feel him, know this is true. He is here, and part of you." She prodded Big Mac in the chest directly. "You have allowed him, giving him leave. You are Big Mac, if you believe."
Big Mac felt a smile spreading over his snout. Was it true? Could he really be their missing brother, truly? "Yup." He bobbed his head eagerly. He could do it. He would be there for them. At least it was one pain he could avoid in the world.
Zecora moved to the door and cracked it open. "Come." Apple Bloom quickly rejoined them. "I am proud to announce, this curse we will trounce. Feed your brother and share your tales. Food and company will cure what ails."
Apple Bloom sprung up onto Big Mac's back, hugging him from above. "Is that all?! No wonder he's already lookin' better. Hear that? Extra servings an' extra hugs fer you." She squeezed him firmly from above, smiling radiantly.
Soon Big Mac had left, carrying his sister. Both were content with the world.
Zecora closed the door gently behind them. "Fools." It would work out, in its odd way. Could the dead return? She wouldn't say. If they wished to live that lie, she couldn't say not to try. The Apples were known to be a stubborn lot. They would reap what they had sowed on their lot.
A week passed. Big Mac had returned. He helped around the farm, ran the stall in town, talked with ponies, and become more and more natural by the day.
But Applejack knew the truth. She knew and couldn't just let that go. As much as Big Mac had shaped up and was still shaping up well, she knew. She approached him as he was hauling a wagon. "After yer done there, ah think it's high time we saw Twilight."
He raised a brow at her. "What fer?"
Applejack prodded him in the side. "To send you home, ya big idjit!"
Big Mac looked to the farmhouse, then back at Applejack. "Ah am home."
Applejack sank to her haunches, watching Big Mac trundle off. She couldn't bear it. She scampered back to her hooves and rushed after him. "Christopher!"
That made Big Mac jerk in place, the wagon coming to a sudden halt. He turned to glare at her. "Nope."
Applejack pointed at him. "That's yer name."
"Nope."
Applejack let out a long sigh. "Please... just let her have a look."
Big Mac snorted loudly before he gave a little nod. He moved on without a word, but did return once the wagon was where it needed to be.
Together, they took a walk to Twilight's castle.
Spike opened the door on knocking, but quickly moved aside on seeing it was Applejack. "Hey AJ, come on in. Hey Big Mac! What brings you two over?"
Applejack led the way. "Ah need to talk t' Twilight. It's important. Is she in?"
"What's important?" There was Twilight, emerging from one of her many libraries. "Hello AJ, Mac."
Applejack smiled with relief. "Look, this'll sound crazy, but..." She turned and pointed at Big Mac. "He--"
Big Mac shoved a big hoof in Applejack's face, silencing her. "Am I Big Mac?"
Twilight blinked softly.
Spike tilted his head. "Sure looks like Big Mac, er, I mean you. That's an odd question."
Twilight rubbed behind her head. "I have to agree."
Applejack stepped away from that blocking hoof. "He ain't! He's... uh, somethin' else, a human."
Twilight looked Big Mac over again with a new intensity. "He... doesn't look like any human I ever saw."
Spike poked Big Mac lightly. "Hey, what's your character in our Ogres and Oubliettes game?"
Big Mac nodded at Spike. "Sir Mcbiggen."
"Seems legit." Spike shrugged.
Twilight's horn glowed as she gave a deeper look, trying to pluck and pry at the magic network that made up her friend's brother to detect faults in it. There were some, but they were buried under a pile of Big Mac. Whatever faults he had, they were hidden. She would have to be far more invasive to learn more. "I would have to say he's Big Mac. If he says he's big Mac, he feels like Big Mac. He talks like Big Mac." She rubbed at the side of her head. "I don't get it."
Applejack let out a weary sigh. Was she doing the right thing? "Look, this unicorn... She..." Applejack glanced away and back. "Look, Big Mac vanished on delivery. We were pretty certain he was dead."
Big Mac set a hoof on her back. "Nope."
Spike shrugged. "Hard to argue that. He's right there."
"Look, jus' listen!" Applejack stomped a hoof. "Ah went to... get 'em back. They did somethin', and brought me this human and told me he was Big Mac."
Twilight's eyes widened. That sounded too much like the spell she... She suddenly took off at a gallop.
She hurried to where she had placed the book, only to find nothing but an empty spot on her shelf. "Spike!"
But he didn't know where it was either. Nopony did. Twilight looked harried and worried, but she tried to focus on the matter at hoof. With new knowledge, she scanned over Big Mac one more time, looking for signs she knew. They were subtle, but they were there. "He really is... But, unlike the last subject, he has completely fallen into sync with Equestria. He is Big Mac, at least physically."
Big Mac nodded gently. "Yup." He rose and turned for the door. "Ah got work to do." That was true, and it wasn't. He was done being pried at. He had made his decision, and he was sticking to it.
Applejack watched him go, worry on her face. "Can ya help 'em?"
Twilight gave a little shrug. "It's too late for that. He is your brother for most intents and purposes. I can't send him home, because he is home."
Spike shook his head. "That's freaky." He left the room before it could get any weirder.
Twilight set a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. "I can see this is... painful. Did you talk to him, before this?"
Applejack raised a brow. "After ah already took 'em home. Some Honesty ah turned out t'be."
Twilight nodded slowly. "Did you tell him he was... this, that he wasn't who he was before?"
Applejack blinked softly. "Not... exactly, but that don't make me feel better."
Twilight tapped at the ground. "That's who we should be focused on. Somepony's using my magic, and if they used it once, they'll use it again." She raised a brow at Applejack. "You know who and where they are, right?"
Applejack quickly bobbed her head. "Had to go all the way inta Manehatten, but yeah."
"Then that's where we're going. We can't undo our mistakes, but we can stop them from happening again." Twilight pointed for the door. "Let's get to work."
That brought a smile to Applejack's face. The idea of actually doing something concrete to resolve the issue sure sounded better than crying about it. "Yeah, let's teach that mare this ain't right."
With renewed purpose, they set out towards the train station. They had work to do.
There he was, sitting in his usual chair. Some music played in the background to break the silence as he browsed the internet somewhat aimlessly. An ad caught his attention, which was odd in itself, with ads being something to be ignored, but 'Do you want to go to Equestria?' seemed so… blunt.
He dared to click it, to be greeted with a site that looked like it was made back on Geocities. It had some ponies, but none of the really big mane ones, just a lot of background ponies, and some he didn't even know, but there they were, each rotating slowly in place with a placid smile.
He browsed the selection, trying to find one that caught his eye. And there it was. A curious unicorn pony with light grey fur and faint wisps of energy wafting from his soft eyes. The label beneath it read 'Prince Grey Ghost’.
It went on to explain that this particular pony didn't actually… exist. Selecting it would mean becoming something new, for the sake of another pony that wanted to have someone big and important to be with. It didn't specify 'how' they would want to be together, but apparently, that pony was someone's idea of an ideal companion, friend or otherwise.
After a few minutes of debate, he clicked on the image. The world fell away, as if he were propelled upwards with terrific speed. There was no ceiling to catch him. There was no sky either. It was nothing but darkness. He could feel strange forces washing through his form, testing and plying him in unnatural ways. He could feel the indescribable need to be the pony he had selected, as if it was his choice.
He lost himself to the feeling, letting it wash over his mind. That magic, pervasive and powerful, felt his loss of focus and crept in under his skin. Wouldn't it be nice to be a pony? Strong legs, a powerful horn, and a swishy tail awaited. He could have a companion forever and know happiness. He had but to accept it.
Yes... It would have been good to have those things. He accepted without hesitation. There was no sound in that place, but he could feel the pops and jumps in his flesh. His arms locked forward a moment as they gained a pelt of dark fur. His fingers clenched painfully as hooves formed. Inside that casing, he could move his fingers for the last time, locking them into the position they would have forever inside those protective cases.
He squirmed a little, gritting his teeth as the joints in his legs popped and rearranged themselves. The midportion of his body surged outwards the meet the adjustments of his limbs as his clothes tore free of a body that could not support them. He was naked, but not entirely. Thick and soft hairs had sprouted across his body in a dense pelt to shield him from the wind and perhaps from curious eyes. His own eyes were drawn upwards as he felt an intense pain build in his forehead that erupted in a blinding jolt as a horn burst free, dripping with blood as it swelled larger and larger.
He let out a muffled cry, squeezing his eyes shut. The seconds passed and he prayed the pain would pass.
Which it did, in a fashion. Consciousness faded away.
But it came back. How long had it been? He couldn't tell. He was standing there on all four hooves in a strange circle that looked like a summoning setup straight out of a Dungeons and Dragons game or similar. There was a unicorn on the outside of it, looking at him. She blew her hair out of her face and nodded. "You look perfect, Prince Grey Ghost. How do you feel?"
That name… it felt right. Of course that was his name. What other name would fit?
“We feel...fine,” he replied, studying her. “Who art thou?”
"Nopony important," assured the doctor as she turned for the door. "Your mistress awaits you. She's quite excited to be at your side again, Prince."
He had a mistress? The thought tumbled in his scrambled head a little. He remembered something about it. It felt like so long ago.
“Please, reminds us who this mistress is.” He stepped out of the circle, stumbling slightly over his hooves. He quickly found that the summoning circle was still active, repelling him with a ripple.
Fetlock snorted softly. "My apologies." Her horn glowed as it all faded away to darkness. "Mistress Horn Glass. She's ready to serve and be at your side forever, don't you recall?" With her honeyed words, it did seem a bit more familiar. "She's waiting for you just here."
Fetlock led the way from the back of the new, smaller, office to the front where a pony waited. She had horn-rimmed glasses, as fit her name. They were attached to her head with a little chain that hooked into her flowing mane. The top of that mane was done up in a bun. She had mouse-brown fur and bright-pink hair and tail. She seemed like… a secretary, or a librarian.
Her face lit up on seeing the two of them and she rushed for her prince. "My leige! You're everything I'd hoped for!"
“We art?” He blinked, scrunching his muzzle. “We art having trouble recalling thou.”
"Oh don't you worry about that." She waved off the concern. "You're home now." She leaned up and kissed the confused stallion's cheek. "Your loyal servant will take good care of you. Oh, I have so many things to share with you."
Fetlock softly coughed. "I trust he is to your satisfaction?"
The mare looked between the prince and Fetlock before looking back at the prince. "Tell me, will you treat me like your loyal and beloved mare, because I am. You love me with every fibre of your being, even if it repels you on the inside to be with a mare of such… low breeding. It's a guilty passion, but one we hold dear. Tell me it's true, my prince."
Her words felt so right. The stallion's memories began to sort and shuffle as if making room for her words to be true. If he didn't resist, they simply would, and it would become fact, at least to him.
“We...I...” He bit his lip, giving his head a shake. This wasn't right was it?
She looked into his eyes through those glasses a moment before she leaned in, her soft jazmine-scented breath washing over his snout. "Say yes, then we can be happy together, forever."
“Together... Forever?” he asked, staring back into her eyes.
"'Till death do us part." She nodded firmly. "I will care for you, and you will protect me from our enemies." She smiled a little. "But we fled here, far from them. This is a safe place, safe, where we can be lovers without judgment."
“We did?” he repeated, letting the words sink in.
"We did. We fled our country and came here, to Manehattan. It's not as refined as you're used to, m'lord, but I will do my best to provide you with comfort, and we have each other." She wove her fantasy glibly, happily inventing the romance that would bind them together. "Come home, my prince. I'll make your favorite tonight."
“Yes... Home sounds lovely,” he agreed, nodding his head.
The two left, side by side. Fetlock watched them go with a growing smile. A clipboard floated over from the desk nearby and she scribbled softly.
Case 02, wild success. Lesson learned, be more explicit about the intended role the subject will enter for better results.
She nodded at her own writing and set it down before she went to count her hard-earned bits. Her services would prove in demand after all…
There he was, watching some Netflix. It was alright, but wasn't keeping his attention. Well, why not browse and watch at once? He pulled out his phone and got to doing just that, and there it was.
Had he clicked an ad? He must have. There was a cheap site right out of the 90s, proclaiming you could be any pony you wanted! Provided they were listed on the page. The page had a lot of ponies listed, but was missing most of the 'mane' or 'important' ones. No Luna, no Twilight, huh…
He scrolled down the page. A few of the characters were grayed out. He clicked on one of those images. Nothing. Perhaps the site was defunct?
A helpful little voice spoke out of his phone, "We're sorry, but that pony isn't requested at this time. Please find another. We'd love to have you in Equestria, but only good ponies need apply."
Huh. He scrolled even farther down. The ponies were sorted by occupation, and there was nothing cool! If you’re going to become another species, why be something lame, like a nurse. What about a guard?
That’d be cool. Maybe a bat-pony. Fighting night monsters would be awesome.
As he scrolled through the list, a likely candidate came into view. There was a bat pony! A mare, by the shape of her. She had her wings out in fierce demonstration to the 'camera'. The text beside her read:
Looking to adopt, infertile. You will be ten moons in age and in a loving household. We want a filly that's bold and courageous. She'll drive us a little wild with her endless curiosity and drive, but we'll love her for it. Please be good and kind to your fellow ponies.
Maybe… no. He shouldn’t.
But then it would nag him. What’s the worst that could happen?
Almost shuddering in anticipation, he tapped the icon.
He was drawn suddenly free as if on a breeze that blew from and to nowhere at all. The world he had known had been surrendered at his own will, and he felt like he was flying through nothing at all. To call it black would have implied it had a color. It did not. It was boiling hot yet freezing cold. Vacuum was both, yet this had weight to it.
In that yawning nothing, he felt something new pressing and prying at the edges of his very being. Finally! Something after nothing for infinite time. Images of the filly he could be came to mind. Wouldn't it be nice to be that? To have parents that cared genuinely and to have your life ahead of you, vast and full of potential. It would be an adventure. Just like the camping trip he had taken when he was… seven? Five? It did not matter anymore. She was Moonshine and did not yet know five or seven.
As he, no, she, accepted the position imposed, their form began to change in heaves and twists. It felt like she was in a vice, body being compressed to force it smaller and smaller even as limbs and bones snapped and reshaped in violent motions. It was anything but pleasant, but the image of what she would became remained strong, as if to remind her that the suffering would be worth it.
She would be loved.
Instantly, everything coalesced into one point. And that one point expanded. It was light and it was bright. Too bright. She began to wail.
“Moonbeam! Moonbeam! A little foal is on the circle!”
“Fetlock did it?”
“She did it!”
“Celestia! Honey, we’re parents!”
The light faded, revealing Moonshine in the center of the circle Dr. Fetlock had used the other times. The doctor smiled down at the filly. "Now aren't you adorable?" Even as the parents rushed to agree, Fetlock kept her eyes on her subject. "I'm going to send you home, with your parents. They will protect and care for you, and you will be a good filly for them. Doesn't that sound wonderful?" She punctuated the last word with a soft puff, blowing her hair free of her eyes.
Moonshine quieted down. “Auogh.”
“Sea Island, I think your daughter may have just given me diabetes.”
“Give or take ten years, and she’ll be getting all the colts, ma’am. The process went through very well,” the doctor said. She brought down a hoof, banishing the lit circle. Without even having to say, the parents rushed to claim their foal and hold her close. "I trust you are satisfied?"
“Oh yes, so very much. Thank you doctor.”
“I only do what my talent dictates. Thank you for the upfront payment, again.”
Once the two happy ponies had left, their wings fluttering with excitement, Dr. Fetlock pulled her clipboard over with a shine of her horn.
Case 03: Success. Continue monitoring. Subject could prove volatile once speech is regained. Suspect complete integration before then. Young subjects are viable, and profitable. Consider taking more.
With her note down, Fetlock let the clipboard fall as her eyes darted to her flank. There lay the mark of her destiny. It showed the outline of a pony, just the outer line of one where a pony should be. She smiled.
Dr. Fetlock had gotten that secretary she wanted. A griffon hen, seated behind her front desk and claws ticking away at a typewriter. Fetlock felt pride swell, knowing she had reached a new level in which she could afford to pay that secretary without worrying about her budget. "Gudrun?"
The griffon, Gudrun, looked up towards the doctor. "Yes, Doctor?"
Fetlock's smile grew. She liked the respect that was given in the tone of those words. "Has anypony made an appointment for today?"
Gudrun reached over with her clever fingers and quickly flipped through some papers. "I don't have anything noted for today, Doctor. I'll be making some follow-up calls on some potential clients that showed some interest previously. Doctor?"
Fetlock's ears perked. "Yes?"
"May I ask something?"
Fetlock's confusion grew. "What?"
Gudrun gestured towards the door leading into the back. "What is it you do, exactly? You speak to the client, go into the back, and return with a pony that I didn't see go in."
Fetlock considered that reply. She could angrily brush Gudrun off, but she wanted a loyal assistant, not a cowed servant or, worse, neither if she drove the griffon away. "I use very advanced magic to create the pony that the client wishes for."
Gudrun blinked owlishly, which fit her owlish face. "You create life, from nothing?" She shook her head. "Unicorns are like little gods." Despite her words, her eyes went back to her typewriter and she resumed typing, apparently satisfied with the answer she had received.
Fetlock let out an internal sigh of relief that her words had been accepted at face value. She liked Gudrun. The griffon was efficient, polite, and despite being a griffon, courteous to guests. "I'll be--"
Her words were interrupted by the door to the street being pushed open to admit a pegasus. He was blue, with multi-colored mane and tail. He looked a little frazzled. "Is this the place for getting ponies?"
Gudrun looked up at him, undisturbed. "You'll have to be more specific." She produced a pamphlet and offered it over her desk. "We offer a wide variety of pony location services."
The pony approached with a strong nod. "Great, yes, that's what I want!"
Fetlock wasn't sure about that pony. There was something... peculiar about them. "What, exactly, are you--"
He rushed her, eyes wide and mane becoming all the more frazzled. "Can you send a pony back?"
She raised a brow high. Was he? "Come with me. Gudrun, I'll be seeing to this client."
"As you wish, Doctor." She returned to her typing as if nothing remarkable had occurred.
Fetlock led the pegasus into the back room before turning to face him again. "Who are you?"
The pony gestured at himself. "That's a trick question. The name's Robert, or Aqua, if you prefer."
Robert. Yes, she had heard that name, and Aqua as well. "You're patient zero's acquaintance."
"Patient what?" Robert shook his head. "Look, I came to Equestria thinking it would be all that and a bag of chips."
"Every pony has a place," stated Fetlock evenly. "You did not belong there. The 'real' Aqua has integrated wonderfully." She pointed at Robert. "You are not Aqua."
Robert took half a step back. "G-great, so we agree. Send me home."
"Impossible."
Robert went rigid. "Don't lie to me! If you can pull people here, you can send them back. It's just common sense!"
Fetlock let out a slow breath. "Shall we try an analogy?"
"This better not be stupid."
Fetlock rolled her eyes. "You are fishing. You set your hook into the depths, find something, and pull it up. The fish is now in your hooves. It asks to be put back. Now the complexity. Every smallest bit of direction in that ocean is another ocean of oceans. If we put the fish back in the water, it will not be in the ocean it began in. It will never find its way home. If we try hurling the fish in the same direction, same result. The chance of returning that fish to the same place it began? Basically impossible."
Robert sank to his haunches with a thud. "Then what am I supposed to do?"
"If I read her report properly, this was your decision entirely."
Robert scowled at the doctor. "I thought I could get a mare. I thought life would be easier here!"
"Why?" Fetlock raised a brow at him. "What point is there in any universe where nothing is challenged. If we had everything we could ever need, there would be no change, no growth, only slow stagnation." Something he said clicked with her. "A mare could be arranged."
"What?" Robert stood up. "Just like that?"
"Just like that," agreed Fetlock. "But... you would need gainful employment, for yourself, and for my fees. There are plenty of opportunities here in Manehattan." She pointed past him to the door they had entered through. "Surely you have some talents?"
Robert's face scrunched with thought, his wings fidgeting. "I used to work retail, like George did. Hell, that's how we met in the first place."
"Do you not have hobbies and interests beyond that?" Fetlock rolled a hoof. "Besides, even retail is a desired field. There are more than enough storefronts, if you clean yourself up and make yourself presentable."
"How?!" Robert took a step towards her, clopping the ground. "I don't have a shower!"
"I can smell." Fetlock wrinkled her nose a moment. "Look, here." She pulled out a bag of bits and counted out a few moderate coins. "Go buy a room at a motel, get cleaned up, then get a job. This is your world now, like it or not. You chose it. You have nopony to blame."
Robert glanced at her bag, as if considering trying to get more bits than were being offered, but the urge seemed to fade quickly. "Yeah..." He reached a hoof for the bits, only to have them fall to the floor. He hadn't perfected hoof-grabbing yet. With another try, he had them up and tucked away. "Look, I'll do it, but you better be here when I come back."
"I plan to be," stated Fetlock confidently. "Prove you can adapt to the situation. I would like to speak with you further, but only then."
She watched him walk out and closed the door behind him. Would he manage? She almost hoped he did. She was curious what pony he thought would fill the many holes she could see in his heart. Maybe it would end happily? Only if he took care of himself first.
Robert stalked off from the office building that held the one pony in quite a distance that had any idea what his deal was. He'd be back, or so he promised himself.
First, he had to spend some bits. Now, he could have gone to a motel, like she suggested, but that would mean blowing all his bits at once. He wasn't quite that willing to 'trust' life not to kick him while he was down. He went instead to a small corner store and picked up a bar of soap. Thankfully it had a wrapper around it so he didn't have to literally wash his mouth out bringing it to the front.
The elderly earth pony there nodded at him and rang him up. It was a tiny amount, just like he hoped, and he got change from his larger bit for smaller bits.
He rushed away from them all, all ponies. With spread wings, he took to the air and kept right on flying. It was late evening by the time he had not only escaped the city, but found a small pond with no ponies around it.
He came in for a gentle landing and paced around the body of water. His eyes darted left and right for any signs of intruders or danger, but there weren't any. He sat down beside the lake and started to wash himself. He splashed water up onto his body, then began working the soap into a frothing lather before rinsing it all off.
It actually felt kind of nice, to start becoming clean, and he went over his pony body completely and thoroughly, even if he dropped the soap several times. He really had to finish getting a grip on his hooves. Still, he smelled gently of soap and his body's natural scent. Pony scents were not human scents. It wasn't the smell of sweat and filth, which he had been working up. No, he smelled fresh and even faintly flowery. It amused him that ponies still had colognes when their bodies seemed happy to scent them all on their own.
Renewed, he managed to tuck the soap away into his 'pocket'. The fact that he had pockets as a pony was a little odd when he thought about it, but too useful to argue.
It was too late in the day to go job hunting, or so he figured. He looked around again. He wasn't in the city, and the wilderness was not friendly to ponies. No, he didn't want to sleep out there, as peaceful as it seemed at that moment.
He lifted from the soft turf and returned to the city. He would perch on a roof, like a damned pigeon. It would be the last time, he swore silently to himself.
The next morning, he was roused by a prodding. He scrambled up to his hooves to find a scruffy-looking pegasus looking down on him. "This is my spot," declared the new pony. "Get lost."
Robert glanced up towards the sun, new but rising quickly. "Yeah, thanks for the wake-up." He spread his wings and launched free of the roof to land lightly on the sidewalk. He was in front of a store with a big window. Perfect. He began quickly straightening himself out as best he could.
As fate would have it, and it was very likely to be fate in Equestria, it was a record store, just like George used to work in. Just like Robert used to work in before him. "Full circle," he muttered to himself before he approached that door and pushed his way inside, at least until he realized it opened outwards.
Inside, he came face to face with an older stallion, earth pony, seated behind the counter. "Hello there," he greeted with a raised hoof. "Saw you looking in the window. Got yer eye on something specific?"
Robert flinched faintly. The stallion had watched him straightening up? Not the first impression he wanted. "Yeah, actually, I am looking for something specific." He waved a hoof around. "Need any help?"
The stallion sat up with a jerk. "I didn't hang any help wanted signs, what brings you here?"
Robert ran his tongue over his flat teeth. "Well, see, I used to work in a record store. Another city, but hey, a record's a record."
The older stallion snorted softly as if in disbelief. "Have you now? Well, if you're an expert, you'll tell me how to take care of a record properly. Let's start with cleaning."
Robert nodded at that. "Got some cleaner? You, uh, don't want to use water."
"One point." The stallion nodded. "My record has dust on it, you...?"
"Use a record brush."
"Two points." The stallion had started to smile. "Modern music is..."
Robert had to smirk at that. "Trash."
"Ain't that always the truth?" He approached Robert and slapped him on the shoulder with a firm hoof. "It just takes us a while to notice. I wasn't planning on hiring help, but I wasn't expecting anypony to just wander in asking, either. Tell you what, you look like you need the job, and know a thing or two, let's give it a try." He pointed at the register. "We'll start part-time, see how you go. You do well, and you want the hours, we can move up from there."
Was it really that easy? "S-sure! Great. I'll get started right--"
A leg thrust out in front of him. "Hold on there. I'm here today, and didn't plan for this. No, today you get a less glamorous job if you want to start right away."
"Yeah?" Robert peered at the man warily.
"Don't look so stricken. We all start at the bottom." The stallion trotted off into the back and returned with a big arrow sign with a record displayed on it. "Go outside and get to pointing customers this way. Let me know when you're sick of that, or I'll come out when the store's closed and we'll settle your first day's pay."
Robert reached an unsure hoof for it. It had little straps, so he slid one of his hooves into it and wobbled the sign a bit.
"You're gonna want to show more energy than that to catch a pony's attention." He plucked the sign back from Robert and began giving it a mighty show. He flipped it up into the air, caught it, twirled it around, and performed more acrobatic tricks than Robert thought possible for an earth pony that looked like he was in his 40s or 50s. "See? Just keep the arrow pointed at the store and tell ponies why they want to head on inside."
Robert nodded stiffly as he accepted the sign back. "I'm on it." He staggered outside with the sign. If he did well, he would get paid the same day? He couldn't ask for... too much more than that, right?
He was outside, his arrow sign wielded in his hooves and trying to point towards the store as he bounced it up and down. He wasn't quite up to sending it flying just yet, but he forced a smile and tried to direct ponies. "Come on, there's awesome music right here."
Like most any large city, most ponies ignored him and walked right on past.
"You do not belong."
Robert jerked at the soft but firm words being spoken to him. He looked to the one that had uttered them, a severe-looking unicorn. "Lad, move your end."
Robert blinked softly and looked around. There was plenty of space to move around him. Most other ponies had done just that. Weird. He wiggled the sign at the store. "Want to get some music? It could put a smile on your face."
The unicorn raised a brow silently before he smiled. What a smile. His mouth was filled with jagged teeth that had no business in a unicorn's mouth. Robert fell backwards in surprise, and the unicorn stepped over him.
"There is a place for people like you." He dropped a scrap of paper with an address on it, then stepped right over Robert and walked away without another word.
Robert scrambled back up to his hooves and squinted at the paper before stuffing it away. "The heck was that about?..." He tried to put it out of his mind and get back to wiggling that sign.
That was where the shopkeep found him as the sun sank. "Still out here? I thought for a hot minute that you'd run off with the sign." He snorted softly with laughter as he snatched the sign back and tossed it into the store before locking it up. "Guess you're serious then?"
Robert blinked softly. "Was that a test?"
"Sure was. You passed."
Robert was at once pissed off and delighted. "So... about that payment?"
"Right right. We never settled on your rate." He held up a hoof. "Four bits an hour. Stay good and I'll double that at the end of the month." He reached a hoof into his pocket and produced a collection of bits. "For today..."
Robert accepted it with a big smile. "Thanks!" He felt an urge, and didn't fight it. He hugged that stallion. "Thanks!"
"Oof! You really did need that, huh?" He patted Robert on the back. "Well, show me your best, and I promise not to leave you hanging. For now, go get some sleep. I expect you bright and early. We open at eight."
Robert waved as the stallion went off towards home, then sank to his haunches and counted up the money. Forty bits? That's more than he was owed. Was it bad math, pity, or a signing bonus? Robert took a slow breath and tucked the bits away. He decided to accept it as it was given. The stallion seemed like a nice guy. He probably figured Robert did need the money, and he... kind of did, even if it stung him to admit.
But where to go? He remembered that scrap and dug it out. On one side, an address, the other proclaimed it to be an apartment building. "Holy shit." Destiny, it was too powerful in Equestria. It gave him the willies. "Alright... let's give it a try."
He took flight and soared easily along the roads until he found it. Some of the windows were lit, some weren't. It looked like a nice enough apartment building as they went. He landed before the steps and marched right in, looking about for anyone that looked to be in charge.
He found her. She was just coming out of an office and closed the door with a hand. She had a hand. She also had a human body, most of one. Her hips flowed out into a pegasus body. She was a pony centaur. "Are you here to visit someone?"
"No, uh, are you the landlady?"
She nodded firmly at that. "That I am. Tabitha's the name, nice to meet you." She offered a hand and he met it, her fingers curled around his hoof and gave it a shake. "You're looking for a room?" She quoted the monthly rate. "And you have to cover first and last at signing."
That made Robert cringe. "So, uh, I just got a job..."
Tabitha frowned a little, clearly weighing the risk of Robert.
Then that pony showed up, emerging from an elevator. Tabitha scooted out of his way without even thinking about it. The unicorn nodded at her, then fixed his eyes on Robert. "Doing what needs doing? Good."
Tabitha tilted her head faintly. "Do you know him?"
"No," he stated flatly. "Give him a chance." He left without any further words.
Tabitha let out a loud sigh. "Well... he barely says a word. If he vouches for you... I guess I can let it slide. What do you have?"
Robert didn't want to give up all of his money, so he fished out twenty bits for her. "I get paid daily, so I'll keep paying until we're even."
Tabitha's expression soured a moment, but she didn't change her mind. "I'll be making sure of that. This way." Tabitha waved a wing and went back to the office.
Soon he had signed his rental agreement and was led to his room, with a few surprises along the way. Starting with, "So... why are you half human? Please tell me you know what a human is."
Robert showed up for his first true day of work, wary, but ready. The older stallion met him at the door and began showing him how the register worked, which was not as similar to a human one as one might think. Still, the basics were there, and Robert soon felt confident enough to man the station.
"I'll be in the back," reported the owner. "I've been meaning to do a full cleaning and organization, but I haven't had time, what with me watching the front and not wanting to come in on the closed days. Thankfully, you're here, so you keep things straight up here, and I'll get to it." He lifted a hoof to point to a guitar that hung over the back wall. "By the way, if anypony asks about that, it's not for sale. This ain't that kind of store and she's mine."
Off he went, leaving Robert to sit there. Most of the day was just that, waiting for someone to come in. It made Robert laugh. It was just as boring as when he was a human, though he had wings to stretch and flap and feathers to preen to pass the time.
A bell rang. It was the front door. A pony that looked like she was going full goth wandered in. "Hey, where's the old stallion?" she asked on seeing Robert in the usual spot.
Robert's ears lifted. "He's in the back. How can I help today?"
She rolled her eyes. "Guess I don't need him specifically. Did the new song, Night of the Timberwolf, come out?"
He didn't know that off the top of his head, but he was fairly sure where it would be, so he hopped off the cushion that was his seat and went trotting over to the goth section. He hooved through it a moment before the mare behind him snorted. "What?" he asked, looking back at her.
"Why aren't you using your wings? Are they hurt?"
Robert blinked softly.
She approached with a bemused expression. "This kind of work, I don't know any pegasus that doesn't use their wings to speed things up." She reached out a spiked-collared hoof and poked his right wing just so to make it spring out, then nudged it over to the case. "They don't look hurt."
Why was this strange mare touching him, and trying to give him advice all of a sudden? Ponies were odd. Hoping to mollify her, he brought both wings forward and brushed them over the records. Focused on the task, he found the leading feathers could indeed slip in and pull or push, like fingers. He had hands the whole time?! Sort of.
The goth flipped her hair aside. "That's more like it. Now, is it there?"
Giddy with the idea of having hands of a sort back, Robert eagerly leafed through the covers and pulled out the song the goth was looking for. "Here we are!" He saw a price written on it and quoted it for her.
"Sure thing." She pulled a few coins from her pocket and slapped it down on the counter. "I've been waiting the whole week for this one. I hear it's real, you know?"
'Real' was a keyword that remained true across worlds, and Robert nodded to her as he surrendered the record. "Enjoy it, and tell me how it went."
"I will," She turned for the exit and got to walking. "Hey, take it easy."
It was his first customer, but far from the last. He greeted each as they came in, got them the music they wanted, and sent them on their way. It was simple, but each pony left with a smile, as opposed to the human customers who often could never be pleased. Well, except one pony. He didn't have the record for the stallion, and he grumbled the whole way out, but Robert still called the day a success.
The next day was much the same, and the one after that. He had found a groove, and he was getting comfortable in it.
Then she came in.
It was a pony he knew. DJ Pon3, AKA, Vinyl Scratch. Her headphones were on, as always, and with them, her head bobbed softly to the tune of whatever she was listening to. She stopped though when Robert came into view. It must have surprised her at least as much as Robert, as a word spilled from her lips. "Aqua?"
Robert frowned. "Robert. What can I get for you?" Bad history or not, he didn't want to be fired for being snippy with a customer.
Vinyl seemed to regather herself and gave the softest cough before she nodded and moved past, browsing the aisles slowly. It was awkward, having her there. Why her, of all ponies. She was one of the few that knew Robert's start in Equestria. He was doing better, dammit. He didn't want to face that past.
She sudden gave a whistle, drawing his attention to a record player. She was holding up a record in her magic and pointing at it.
What was she asking? Oh! "Yeah, sure, go ahead."
Vinyl gave a pleased nod before she set the record down and moved the needle over with her magic. Soon the store began to fill with lively tunes. It wasn't techno at all. It was more like an old timey quartet. Robert felt compelled to laugh at how unexpected it was.
His boss suddenly poked in from the back. "Who--Oh! Miss Scratch, lovely to see you." He quickly approached Vinyl. "I hope my new cashier hasn't been bothering you."
She shook her head and gave a hoof's up gesture at Robert before offering that same hoof to the boss. They hugged briefly before she began to point at things.
"Things are good, real good. You wouldn't believe it, this pegasus here literally comes out of the sky and fills the vacancy I didn't even know I had." He looked to Robert. "Hey, how're our sales for the day?"
Robert pressed a button that made a total pop up and he said it out loud.
"Huh, not bad. Here I was, thinking you were maybe fibbing about the retail experience." He raised a brow. "Or maybe customers just dig your mane style, either way. Vinyl! What's going on with you?"
They talked, even if it was one sided with Vinyl not speaking, but the air was thick with friendliness.
Robert stopped paying much attention to them until he saw magic wrap around the guitar and pluck it from the wall. "H-hey! That's not for sale."
The boss held out a hoof. "It isn't, but Miss Scratch here, for her, she can borrow it."
Vinyl nodded softly as she fastened it to her side, somehow. Ponies.
He put a leg around her neck and hugged her. "She has a concert and she really wants a classic instrument for it, and it doesn't get much better than that. You just take care of it, alright? It has a lot of sentimental value."
Vinyl gave a sharp salute, then trotted from the store. Along the way she glanced at Robert, but she didn't slow and was soon gone.
"So, you know her?"
Robert started, not noticing his boss had been approaching. "Y-yeah. She was one of the first ponies I met here, in Equestria."
"Huh, you need to tell me where you're from some day. Good mare, that one. Not big on words, but big on heart, and she lives for music. You can't argue that."
The day ended peacefully, and Robert went home just a little richer. He was paying off his rent, eating, and stashing some aside for Dr. Fetlock. He hadn't forgotten her. In fact, he had a better idea of exactly what he wanted.
It would be one part revenge of sorts, but mostly just hot and fun. He had a life, finally, and he was going to make the most of it.
"Excuse me."
Robert stopped on the sidewalk. He had been on his way to work. Before him was Twilight Sparkle. The Twilight sparkle. "Uh, yeah?"
Twilight was squinting at him. "Aren't you Aqua? No! You're--"
Robert popped his hoof in the princess' mouth as he had seen many other ponies do before. "Stop that right there. I'm Robert. I'm not causing anyone any trouble."
Twilight stepped back from that hoof. "So you are him." She tilted her head left and right. "Are you... alright?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Twilight sat up. "It was my spell that caused... this." Her ears went down. "I never had a chance to apologize."
Robert shook his head. "You made those? The figures?"
Twilight smiled awkwardly. "Sort of. I cast the spell here, and it became figures in your world. I had no idea it would work that way. Still... I was worried. I know you... did some unkind things, but you're still an alien in a strange land, with nopony. I was worried you might get hurt, or lost, or worse."
Robert quirked a little smile. There was Twilight, the queen of all Mary Sues, worried for him. It was touching in a way. "I'm alright. I have an apartment to myself, and a job."
"Oh, what kind?" she asked, perking up.
"Didja find somethin?" came the voice of Applejack as she emerged from the crowd. "Oh, hey there."
Twilight gestured at Robert. "Meet Robert, a human I partially caused to be here."
Applejack blinked rapidly. "What? Oh! The, uh, not-Aqua." She looked Robert up and down quickly. "Huh, looks just like 'em."
Robert shook his head. "As she said, I'm Robert. Hey, Applejack."
Applejack recoiled. "How'dja know mah name?"
Twilight answered that before Robert could. "Humans from his world know about ours, especially myself and my friends, which includes you, of course. It's odd to think about, but we're celebrities where he's from."
Applejack colored. "Well shoot!"
Robert held up a hoof. "Relax. I'm not here to fawn over either of you. Nice to meet you, Applejack, Twilight."
Both mares nodded at him before Applejack took a step forward. "There's a unicorn in town grabbing more humans, just like you, and turnin' them inta ponies. We're here to stop her. Have ya seen her by chance?"
Robert had, of course, but he wasn't so eager to have Dr. Fetlock stopped. "Oh yeah, dark mane, with stripes going lengthwise?"
Applejack perked up. "That's the one! Where is she?"
Robert pointed off in an uncertain direction. "She said something about Vanhoover."
Both sagged. Applejack threw her hat on the ground. "Consarnit!"
Twilight put a hoof on her back. "Stay calm, we'll catch up with her. Thank you, Robert. Have a nice day, alright."
The two left and Robert let out a sigh of relief. He planned to get his mare, darn it. He couldn't have Twilight come in and spoil the whole thing with the power of Deus Ex Machina and rainbow his plans to bits.
But that was for another day. That day was for working. He had bits to save.
It had taken time, effort, and the sale of many records to ponies, but he had arrived.
Robert entered with a grin. There was that griffon, Gudrun. She looked up towards him. "Looking better today, sir. How can I help you?"
He had washed up and brushed his candy-colored pelt just for the occasion. Having it be noticed was somehow flattering. "Thanks for noticing. Is the Doctor in?"
"She is, but you're not in her schedule." Gudrun flipped through a rolodex as if making sure. "Would you like to make an appointment?"
"I think she'll want to make time." Robert sat before the desk. "I have news about Twilight Sparkle she'll want to hear."
Gudrun raised a brow before she reached a talon and pushed a button. "Sorry to bother you, Doctor. The client you saw on my first day is back and claims to have information about one Twilight Sparkle you might be interested in." She let go of the button.
The doctor's voice replied, a little tinny for coming from a speaker, "Send him in."
Robert's smile grew. "Knew it."
"Proceed." Gudrun waved to the door that led into the back. "Have a nice day." When he walked past, she said something far too quietly for him to hear.
"What was that?"
"Just clearing my throat, sir. Enjoy your consultation, sir."
Robert shook his head and reached with a wing. He had gotten a fair grip with those and had the door open easily without applying his mouth.
Inside, Dr. Fetlock was on a swivel chair that was already turned to face the door, and him. "You're looking better than the first time. You found a job, I gather? Nevermind that. What's this about the princess?"
Robert closed the door behind him. "She's looking for you with Applejack. I mentioned Vanhoover."
Dr. Fetlock raised a brow. "Why? You owe me nothing." She puffed a breath, knocking her hair out of her eyes. "She could see you punished if she learns of your deceit."
Robert wobbled a hoof. "Mistakes happen. I won't run if she comes after me, and I'll apologize. I don't think she'll hurt me too badly." He then pointed the hoof at Fetlock. "You, on the other hand, she and her friend seem quite worked up about."
Fetlock rolled her eyes. "And now you plan to blackmail me?"
"What? Nothing like that, though a discount would be nice. That's about all I'm hoping for, that, and a few answers." Robert strode towards her. "What exactly are you doing?"
"The same thing the princess did. I cast the spell, a human arrives, usually already clad in the body of a pony, ready for integration." She raised a fine brow at Robert. "Sometimes, there are... mistakes."
Robert huffed at that. "What, like me?"
"Exactly like you." She nodded as if it were a statement of fact. "You had no place waiting for you. You were a new piece without a place, a duplicate, to be precise." She thrust a hoof at Robert. "On the other hoof, you have managed to adjust yourself and find a new place. For that, you deserve praise."
He felt a little pride swelling. "Yeah, uh... Thanks."
"For?"
He fished out the bits she had started him with and set it down. "Here, paid back in full."
She shook her head. "I was not aware it was given as a loan."
"Too bad." Robert tapped at the coins. "I don't take charity, but, again, thanks. It really helped."
Fetlock slowly smiled. Her horn shone as she collected her funds. "There is maybe something worth the while in you, Robert. Now, are we finished for today?"
Robert swung a wing around at her. "Not so fast! One last question, then maybe I'm here to buy your services. Do you kidnap people?"
She blinked softly. "Kidnap?"
"Take people without their consent," said Robert, rolling his eyes with a droning tone.
"Oh, no." She sat up straight. "The spell is quite specific. The human must accept the call, or they are not brought. Simple as that. George, patient zero, was he 'kidnapped'?"
"No," agreed Robert, rubbing his cheek. "Huh... you're sure?"
"Sure as the sun in the sky." Fetlock drove a hoof down with a clop. "I'm here to fill holes, not make them. Now, are we finished with these questions? You've been... helpful, but my patience does have limits."
Robert bobbed his head. "Alright, enough questions." His conscience was clear. Humans were not being kidnapped. Twilight was wrong. Great. "So, I'm ready to order that mare. I want--"
She held up a hoof. "You have the bits?"
Robert dug out a pouch of bits and let it fall to the ground at his hooves. "I've been saving."
Her eyes lowered to it as her horn lit up. "I need to have this counted, one moment."
Robert huffed, but Fetlock trotted past him. She passed it to Gudrun, who had it all counted quickly and efficiently.
Fetlock returned with the bag and set it gently at his side. "Not enough to make a new pony. It'll have to be an existing pony."
Robert blinked softly. "You can do that?"
"As it turns, yes." Fetlock smiled with obvious pride. "So who do you need?"
Robert hadn't even known that was an option, so that worked fine. "I want Vinyl Scratch. I want her to be cheerful, ready to party, and, ugh, ready to talk. They should be a mare who wants to have a stallion, and that stallion is me." He tapped at his own chest as he said that. "Can you do that?"
Fetlock raised an ear. "I feel compelled to note that I can call a pony that starts the way you want, but if you don't keep them there, they won't stay there." She blew her mane free of her face. "To put it simply, if you treat her badly, she'll leave. I don't summon automatons. They're ponies, and they have brains in those heads. If you came hoping for a golem in the shape of a pony, I'm the wrong doctor for you."
Robert blinked softly. Why was he being chastised? "Is there a reason you're going on about that?"
"You're summoning somepony who, in theory, is simply better than you. She has fans. She has talent. If the human called to step into her hooves has these things as well, they could get work easily, likely outstripping what you've managed. Will you be a good enough stallion to keep them loyal to you?"
Robert began to go red. Confusion, fury, and shame welled through him. "I'm the one giving them this chance at all!" he barked, sputtering a little as he said it.
"That gets you a chance..." She raised a brow. "Can you capitalize on that, or are you wasting your bits?"
Robert trembled a moment before it hit him. He relaxed quite suddenly. "Duh... I don't need a Vinyl that's good at making music. Get someone who likes listening to it but doesn't have any talent in it. They'll just be another good Vinyl Scratch cosplayer. No one's rushing to hire that."
Fetlock rolled a hoof. "Should they be good at something in particular? The more specific we are, the more likely I am to find someone to fill that hole." She reached out and prodded Robert in the chest. "To be honest, I'm uncertain I can fill that particular one."
"W-what?" Robert puffed up. "I did everything you asked, and more."
"You did, and here we are. I'm ready to begin. Do you have any talents the pony who appears as Vinyl Scratch, but isn't, should have?"
A few lewd thoughts went through his mind, but he pushed them aside. A mare that wanted him as a stallion was good enough. They'd hash through the specifics face to face. "Get a homebody, someone who likes keeping things clean, cooking, you know, classic wife stuff. Someone who genuinely just enjoys that kind of thing." Yes, that would be nice to have in a domestic partner.
"Anything else?" Fetlock's magic wrote the specifics down dutifully. "Age?"
Robert blinked at that. "This is going to sound stupid, but how old am I?"
"You want a match?"
"That would be good, yeah."
Fetlock nodded with another scratch on the paper. "Do you... want a mare that is..." She rolled a hoof as if unwilling to say it. "Should she be promiscuous?"
Robert flushed a little. On one hand, tempting, on the other... "Active, but not promiscuous. I don't need her wandering off to get her fix. On that mark, make sure it's someone with a good sense of ethics. Someone honest."
"Unlike you."
Robert scowled at that. "Are you going to take pot shots at me every chance you get?"
"So long as you allow it." She made another note. "Your reactions are very informative."
"Do we need anything else?" sighed out Robert, getting quite on edge from the needling.
"No, I think we have enough information." She set the clipboard aside. "I can begin preparing the process now. Come back tomorrow and we'll get to filling the void in you."
Robert glanced towards the inactive summoning circle, rose, and began to approach it on curious hooves. "Can I watch?"
Fetlock frowned at that. "You may not. Your presence may spoil the magic and waste both of our times."
Robert circled around it slowly. "Why? I'll be quiet and just watch."
"You say that." Her magic wrapped around Robert like a warm blanket and hefted him up with considerable effort, floating him towards the door. "One wrong word at the wrong time and who knows what pony we may end up with. Leave your payment with Gudrun and return tomorrow."
Robert wriggled, which was enough to break the hold. He fell to the ground and huffed. "Fine fine. I'm not trying to be a jerk, I was just curious." He turned towards the door before pausing. "Hey, Doc?"
"Hmm?"
"What about you?"
She blinked at him. "What about me?"
He turned to face her again. "Have you considered, you know, calling a pony to fill your own holes."
She went a bright red. "Are you implying?!"
Robert broke into a loud laughter as he realized what he had said. "No, no! Christ, not like that. The holes, inside. You know... The same reason you make ponies for everyone else."
Fetlock blew the hair from her face that had fallen in her surprise. "I have what I need... I am fulfilled by helping others. Now, please, pay Gudrun and return tomorrow. There's nothing more to discuss until then."
It was a late night. He had been asked to work, alone, as usual. That was alright, it was his evil lair and he was lord and master of that warehouse. He would watch over his dominion and keep it safe.
His eyes darted to the screen as it dinged softly. A pop up had appeared on FimFic despite running an ad-blocker.
Would you like to be Vinyl Scratch?!
“Huh,” the shaggy haired man behind the screen grunted. “Vinyl… I do like my loop mixing… Yeah, could see me being Vinyl. Maybe talk more…”
He hesitated a moment… this machine was his livelihood, did he want to take a chance on corrupting the company server over some random clickbait? He then decided “What the hell, that’s why I have good virus protection.”
The dialogue box vanished on clicking, revealing a site that seemed all about Vinyl Scratch. It showed her in full three dimensions. Sure, she looked a little pixelated, like good sixteen-bit art, but a wiggle of the mouse made her spin around, and clicking her made her wave ahead.
Words on the bottom explained that she had a coltfriend that wanted to love her very much, despite her not being Vinyl Scratch before. The coltfriend apparently was aware that a human was coming and would become Vinyl. Ideal candidates could cook and clean and weren't heavy into making music, but having fun, listening to music, and having a good time with her coltfriend is all great.
“Oh gods in hell, it’s a hookup site! Of course it’s a hookup site.” The man behind the screen laughed to himself. “You get what you get and it’s worth what it’s worth.”
He clicked yes with a chuckle expecting a very fast descent into hilariously awkward “yeah I’m not…” conversation.
The pony on the screen spun away, becoming a little dot before a new pony appeared. It was a mint-green pegasus pony with multi-colored mane in bands. He smiled and waved at the human. Text under him explained that was who the coltfriend would be, described his position as a record store clerk. There was even a little note under it.
Desperate for love. Please don't abuse him. Will be loyal to you if you return the favor.
“Yeah, likewise. Weird that you gotta say it. Also kinda refreshing. The third person is weird. Don’t do that.” He clicked the send and the final confirm.
The world faded away with a pixelation filter until there was nothing but a single grey block consuming all of everything. It fell over onto the human, engulfing them in the grey.
“I’m not going to give up me!” the man shouted.
There was little to give up, at least yet. Suddenly there was a snout in front of him. It was Vinyl, smiling coyly. She reached out and pulled him closer. She said nothing, but the impression was hard to shake off. She was inviting him, showing him what he would become and with each gentle brush of her hooves, asking him to accept it.
He embraced the phantasm, showing her what he had done and promising to continue her work.
With acceptance given came pain. His right arm twisted and broke, then broke again, visceral, loud, and painful. Vinyl nuzzled gently through it, offering her presence and little more as he began to be reworked, forged in that crucible of grey. His hair began to creep and spread across his form, becoming white across his body while his ha--mane became more colorful.
“One chance. One shot. That’s all any of us ever got.” The defiant mare stepped forward.
Without resistance, the changes came all the more quickly, all the more viciously. It was terrible, but so fast. All was agony. Was Vinyl even there anymore? They couldn't tell anymore. Forever and in an instant, their eyes blinked open in the middle of a glowing circle of light amid complex patterns in a smallish room.
A unicorn stood there, dark with stripes in her hair. She looked a little gothic. She blew that hair out of her face softly. "Marvelous… Vinyl Scratch, how do you feel?"
“Newborn! I’m still warm!” the pony danced happily. “I’m naked in the rush hour and I’m dancing in my gutter!”
Dr. Fetlock raised a brow at him. A curious dialect that was… "You are now Vinyl Scratch, you understand this, correct?" She ran her tongue over her lips, barely visible. "There is… a little catch."
“Yeah sure,” The mare flashed a grin. “And if you wanna find me I’ll be far from the bar an' guitars and everybody. I remember ALL the lyrics. That is SO cool.”
Fetlock pointed to the door that led out of that place. "Out there, Miss Scratch, there is another. You should avoid her. It would create… complications. She has the career and musical talent." She leaned in. "Which you do not, correct?"
A loud thud shook the room from the front. Fetlock jumped in surprise, mane falling in front of her eyes. Her horn glowed as she quickly pressed a button on the wall. "Gudrun?"
"The client attempted to enter the room before you gave the word, doctor." came a tinny female voice.
“What the bloody hell?” the unicorn that would never be DJ-Pon3 scowled.
Dr. Fetlock blew her mane free of her eyes. "Ignore that. Your coltfriend is eager to meet you." She leaned in closer. "How does that make you feel?"
“I see what you’re doing,” New-Vinyl scowled. “He’s just some fucked up putz with a hoof-full of scratch isn’t he? You know what you’re doing.”
She rolled her eyes. "I wish." She reached out and poked the new Vinyl in the chest lightly. "He's a poor soul that I think is trying to fix things. I think he's very bad at it." She calls the pot black, ignoring her own dark color. "He saved voraciously to afford you. If you treat him well, I don't think he'll betray you. Maybe he'll even calm down and realize he has something worth being proud to have." She sat down, looking Vinyl up and down. "Now does that sound interesting, appealing, distasteful, or repugnant?"
“Him, or you?” The doctor’s prospective monster raised a critical eyebrow.
“I’m going to walk through that door.” Vinyl nodded. “One chance. One shot. Like I said. But what are you looking for?”
She seemed to consider that a moment. "You're a curious one. However, that pony has become important, at least at this moment. Right now, I want him to be happy. You don't have to live with me, Vinyl." Her horn glimmered as the button was depressed. "Send him in."
The door swung open and a talon waved inside. There was a delay before a pegasus crept in, constantly peeking over his shoulder as if worried, at least until the door closed behind him and he let out a sigh of relief.
“So you...want me here? Why?” Vinyl demanded of her potential mate.
Robert reared up at being addressed, then saw who it belonged to. An uncertain smile spread over his face. "It's you! I mean… Wow... " He walked closer, his eyes wandering over her. "You're... perfect." An ear lifted. "Oh! Geeze, I'm being rude. Hello, marefriend, I'm Robert. Nice to meet you."
“Hey, Bob, wassup?” Vinyl grinned "They are totes not see us comin?” Vinyl smirked.
Robert blinked. Bob? Was that how Vinyl sounded? Of course it wasn't. The real Vinyl didn't really talk at all. His Vinyl was better, and did. "Hey. Who, the ponies?" He glanced over at Dr. Fetlock, who was watching the two quietly. "Nope, but forget them a moment." He waved towards the front door. "What do you want to be called? I mean… marefriend's nice and all, but I'd be annoyed if some’one just called me boy, er, coltfriend and nothing else."
“You're Bob and I’m Vinyl. I like music. I used to like to make music. I liked to make art too. I failed at that.” The blue-maned unicorn turned away.
Robert looked pained. Failing to do something he could empathize with. "Hey, sorry." A smile burst free of his expression. "Tell ya what, since we're roomies now, right? I'll get you some art stuff." A thought hit him suddenly. "Can you use your horn?"
"I doubt it," spoke Fetlock, ruining her silence. "That will likely require practice, unless she's truly settled into her new purpose so readily."
A sputter of sparks answered that question. “I guess... ‘No’ is the answer to that…”
Robert spread his wings. "It's alright. It took me a while too. Hell, I just learned these things double as hands." He reached with those wings to brush at Vinyl's cheeks gently. "I'll help."
“It takes time to adapt. You brought me here, right” Vinyl grinned, “So you’re not half bad so far. One chance. One shot.”
Robert blinked at that and took a half step back. "Huh? That a motto or something?" He glanced around, nervousness building. "We're gonna fuck up more than once you know."
Fetlock snorted. "Many times, at a guess."
“One chance, one shot. That's all I ever gave and more than I gave to most “ Vinyl’s face broke to a brief scowl.
With a sudden clop and a flash of unicorn magic, the frowning Vinyl was banished, simply gone.
“I WILL break your little world, doctor. Remember this moment when it happens,” The pony that should have been Vinyl Scratch screamed as she ceased to exist. "You will watch it fall! I promise!”
Robert was left, stunned and staring at the empty spot a moment before he wheeled on Fetlock. "What'd you do?!"
"She was a poor match." She raised a brow. "She would have hurt you."
Robert sputtered and shook. "Y-you don't know that! Jesus Christ on a stick… Did you kill her?!"
"Don't be absurd." Fetlock blew her mane free of her eyes. "I gave her a little push."
A little push? Robert paled as the idea of what happened became clear. "You put the fish back in the water."
"You remembered our lesson." Fetlock nodded. "She's in another Equestria now, one very similar to this one given the tepid nudge I gave her. Maybe she's even facing another me, and another you. Either way, she has ceased to be our concern. I will summon another mare for you, free of charge."
Robert crashed to his haunches, dazed and horrified. "You can't just… She didn't do anything wrong!"
"She did." Fetlock pointed to the door. "Wait outside, we'll start from the top."
Fetlock's eyes were on the retreating Robert. She pressed the button with her magic. "Gudrun, do be sure the client is comfortable and does not leave."
He sat there, meandering the web as per usual on a late Friday night. Without the fear of school to force him to wake early, it was easy to reach up to the early morning if he wasn’t careful. Youtube was the worst cause of this, the various videos on theories for various games and shows and books he was a part of was a simple pleasure and a good time waster.
He clicked on the next video came up. Oh, an ad. The skip ad button was there, but it never cleared itself to actually be clicked.
"Do you want to be Vinyl Scratch?" asked the computer as a 3-D rendered image of Vinyl Scratch, as if made for the PS1 era, spun around on the screen. "You could be! If you're interested, click now!"
At the mention of Vinyl Scratch his attention was piqued, sure, you see the occasional directed pony ad (one of the dangers of searching pony based theories) but not something as strange as this. It wasn’t by Hasbro, as evidenced by the lack of any official show content or their typical copyright.
Saying a quiet, “fuck it.” He dove in, clicking the ad and seeing where it would take him, most likely some 3rd party troll site or something as sneaky, but life was uneventful to the cautious.
The Vinyl figure waved as a little techno jingle played. The page swapped over to one that seemed to have Vinyl's bio and pertinents, including her sizes across the barrel, legs, and horn. Below all that, in big and bold text, it read:
Hello and thank you for your interest. In order to ensure that everyone has a happy ending, we want to make sure you're a good fit. This Vinyl Scratch has a coltfriend that is eager to meet you. He is aware of your human origins and is willing to love you and give a relationship a serious chance. If this idea bothers you, please close this window now.
He stared blankly at the screen for a couple of seconds, wondering whether this was the best troll he’d seen in awhile or whether it was legit. Moving over to the close window button he hesitated, thinking to himself, "even if this fills my computer with bugs, if I don’t do this, I’ll probably regret it."
He was a brony. Just like most bronies fantasize, the idea of being in Equestria can be a dream come true, doubly so if it involves being ponified. While the idea of changing gender was a bit to get around, and even though he was Bi and had no qualms dating another man, dating a stallion, especially one he doesn’t know, would be the biggest hurdle.
Moving his mouse away from the close button, he sat back and watched, waiting to see what would happen next.
Thump Thump Thump. Distant music could be heard, as if from a car driving past. The page's scroll tab got smaller, indicating there was more to read. A quick scroll down revealed more words.
An ideal candidate is a homebody. Do you like making delicious things and keeping a clean area? Fantastic! Active music creators discouraged, but music fans are welcome. Should have a sense of fun and look forward to growing with your new coltfriend as a team.
Sound fun? Tap Vinyl Scratch's nose to continue...
Now intrigued, he reviewed the prerequisites in his head: Well, I love to cook, while not a five star chef, making homemade food was the best, and while I don’t keep my own areas the cleanest, when I set my mind to cleaning I get pretty OCD. Weird that they wouldn’t want a musician, but whatever, never was that good anyway.
Moving the cursor to Vinyl’s nose, he lightly tapped the mouse, saying a quiet “boop!” as he did so.
Vinyl blinked and reared back as if startled. Headphones sank from the top of the screen over her fuzzy ears and she began to bob her head. In tune to those bobs, the thumping came back. Each one shook the room. Even the windows rattled, but his ears were unharmed. In fact, he felt strangely energized with every pulse of the droning beat.
Starting to slowly nod his head in time with the pulse, he wondered if his neighbors would call the cops. That would be an awkward conversation. Pleading in his head that that wouldn’t come to fruition he started to really jam to the beat, the energy he was now feeling causing him to stand up, causing his chair to fly back behind as he moved his entire body to the beat.
Music was a powerful force, known to have created entire universes. In that evening, it began remaking one body. Each powerful beat ran through his form. His left hand suddenly clenched as white fur spread over it. It should have hurt terribly, but instead it just felt like part of the dance the music conjured. Fingers congealed into a hoof with every deep thump even as a new tail began to push at the back of his pants, begging to be free.
Already seeing the trouble this could cause, he began to attempt to take off the clothing preemptively. However he couldn’t stop bobbing to the movement of the music, his movements felt more akin to a strip tease then just a toss and go. Embarrassed by his bodies unbidden sway, he attempted to take everything off faster.
However, this only made it worse, as the music started increasing in tempo, now aiding in a new set of changes. He barely got his pants off, flopping around his one remaining foot, the other already a hoof, fur creeping up with every note, encompassing his form. His face pushed outwards as the music began to get clearer. He could hear more than just the beat. He could hear it all, and it was consuming him.
His thighs started to widen as the fur came past, ripping off his underwear and leaving him fully exposed, not that he cared at this point. It wasn’t just him or the music anymore, they were one and the same. Being on two legs just felt wrong now, so he quickly fixed that by dropping to all fours on his own, his legs changing shape to better fit his new posture.
His forehooves came down on his bed, and his entire body rocked almost as if in the throes of a carnal passion, which he, no, she was in a sense. Ecstasy that only a true music fan could feel was carrying her away as her horn grew to full length, glowing dimly with growing power and pulsing with every life-changing beat. Her flanks tingled fiercely as the music paused for just one pregnant moment, then the beat dropped and her cutie mark flared into existence, leaving her gasping for air with the impact of it.
Panting for breath, her mane flaring with every wild movement she felt a feeling deep in her chest, a sense of longing for somewhere different. Being in this place like this just didn’t feel right, even though the music was just so good. So she let the feeling gather up her body into her horn and let go.
A wild sound, something more felt than heard was released, overpowering the music and leaving it to escape through the object that was created. Having the music disappear so suddenly left the transformed human on edge, almost letting a whimper out before she caught her bearings. In front of her laid what could be described as a tear, looking like someone just reached in and wrenched apart the fabric of reality, leaving a hole in which she could see a colorful landscape and could just barely hear that wonderful music.
Not having to take any time to decide, she quickly trotted through the portal, letting the music take her through to Equestria.
On the other end of that colorful tunnel, she emerged in a circle amid a dizzying collection of geometric patterns. Just outside the circle stood a dark unicorn with striped hair. She gave a puff to blow her mane free of her eyes. "Hello, Vinyl Scratch. You are a unique and wonderful thing, aren't you?" She tapped the ground, dismissing the circle. "I felt it in the magic. You really are the piece for this hole."
She Looked at the circle and tried to figure out the way it worked before responding, “I guess I am.” She paused for a second to more closely analyze herself now that she didn’t have the compulsion to dance she continued “I honestly wish I just knew the hole was there sooner.”
Fetlock reached out a hoof to the new pony's shoulder. "It wasn't. Your coltfriend is the reason. He asked me to call you, and here you are. Would you like to meet him? He's eager to see you."
“Uh, I guess, sure. Lead on.” Vinyl stammered, surprised by how quickly things were moving.
The unicorn's horn glowed, as did a button on the wall. "Gudrun, bring in the client."
The door leading to the front swung open almost immediately and a somewhat shaken pegasus was half-tossed in before it closed behind him. Robert shook himself out and looked around before his eyes settled on Vinyl. "O-oh, uh…" He would get it right, or so he hoped. "Hello. I'm Robert, you are?"
Thinking for a second, she spent a couple seconds debating whether to state her previous form or not before deciding to just introduce herself as what she chose to be
“I’m Vinyl Scratch, your new wife I guess.”
Robert flashed a smile tinged with nervousness. His eyes glanced towards the quiet unicorn to the side. "Let's see how it works out. I hope this doesn't offend… but, I can't say why, but you… You seem really… nice?" He could feel the beat still gently present, that vital musical magic that lived in his new roomie. "Let's get out of here, we can chat, maybe get a nibble to eat? I'm sure you're a little confused. I'll help, promise."
She looked around a little, giving the appearance of thinking before responding “I’m down, seems like a good way to start in a new world.”
Fetlock nodded at the two. "I trust you are satisfied?"
"Yes!" squeaked out Robert as if afraid. "Yes, yes, entirely, yes." He extended a wing as if to guard the new Vinyl from Fetlock. "We'll be going now. I won't be back. I won't tell a soul, promise, forever. Bye."
He turned away from her and tried to gently nudge out Vinyl towards the door.
Seeing Robert’s rather strange way of acting to Fetlock, she stood there looking, attempting to decipher anything from the suddenly very mysterious pony. At Robert’s insistence she started to follow him out.
Waiting till they got out she asked the first question on her mind “What was that all about?”
Robert let out an explosive breath once they were out onto the streets of Manehattan. "The less you know about her, the better." He perked an ear. "So, uh… were you… I mean, before you came here, you were a person, right? Wanna tell me about it?" He pointed down the road. "There's a nice burger place just over there. Oats, not beef, but pony tongues love it, and we both have those."
Slightly tilting her head at the non-answer she let it slide before saying, “That sounds pretty good, have to get used to the food here eventually anyway, especially if I’m going to be cooking it for you hubby.”
Poking her tongue out at him while he blushed she continued “Don’t really have much to say about the old me honestly, I was still in school, I had the basic living amenities and my most exciting time was sports and gaming. What about you, I can assume by your previous statement you weren’t born a pony?”
Robert shook his head quickly, his cheeks colored a bit as he led the way towards food. "No, with a name like Robert? Fat chance, so, uh… Look, maybe I was a bit fast about all this, so let's get this straight." He circled around in front of Vinyl. "You're my roommate. If we work out, well… great! But if we don't, I won't hold you to it. Heck, if you just want to figure something else out, fine too. Maybe we can be friends at least?" He flashed a smile, a bit sad. "It was kinda selfish of me, I mean… Were you alright just… being my girl, sight unseen?"
She paused a second to look at him directly for a moment, causing Robert to wilt a little at the impromptu staring contest “Honestly? No, that doesn’t mean I won’t give it a chance though, and having a roommate that was in the same shoes as me right now will be very beneficial either way.”
"Horseshoes." He wiggled a hoof and his brows at his joke before he turned back towards their destination. "So, awkward question. Were you a guy or a girl? I mean, jeeze." He put that same hoof behind his head as he walked on the other three. "You may be getting used to how ponies look, but you're built well."
Looking over herself she shrugged. “I was a guy before this, and I guess I look good, I have a good rump that’s for sure,” she stated, shaking it for emphasis.
Robert snorted at that, some of the ice breaking. He liked this Vinyl more than the 'real' one, for sure. "I'll catch you up on the local stuff. I want to hear about you. We're in this together, we'll make it fun, alright? Oh! I work at a record store, so if you're looking for music, I can grab some with a sweet discount."
“Hmm, I might take you up on that, though I’m fine with the ambient music right now” She said, emphasizing by syncing up her walk with the beat “Though I have to ask, is that normal?”
He perked an ear, swiveling it about. He heard traffic, ponies clopping about, some birds? He wasn't a musical pony. He didn't put it all together into the music of the world. That was not his gift. "Sounds like a city to me? It's an alright city though. It's growing on me way faster than Ponyville ever did. C'mon." He opened the door with a clever wing and gestured inside. "After you."
"I'm afraid you are not permitted here." Gudrun frowned at the alicorn and her earth pony cohort.
Applejack took a step forward. "Sez who? We're here on official business. You can't jus' toss us out."
"I am quite qualified to do just that." Gudrun rose up to her paws, talons moving into a ready position. "You are on the doctor's black list."
Twilight held up a hoof quickly. "Everypony calm down. Now, ma'am, you may not recognize m--"
"I do."
Twilight cleared her throat. "Besides being on your doctor's blacklist. I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, and while I don't like title-dropping, this is an important matter. We must speak to that pony."
Gudrun raised a brow. "Princess of what? Manehattan only recognizes one princess that I am aware of, and you are small and... purple, rather than large and white."
Applejack thrust a hoof at Twilight. "You never heard of her?!"
"No," stated Gudrun flatly. "Are you leaving now or must I escort you from the building?"
"Ah'd like ta see ya try!"
Fetlock trembled softly. She could hear the spirited argument between Twilight, her first client, and Gudrun. She had thought she had more time! She had hoped she would have more warning.
She looked towards her equipment through her fallen mane that she was in no state to blow away properly. All her work, her progress... She'd gotten better! She'd made lives happier...
She flinched as she heard something thump. She wouldn't add that to her crimes. She frantically opened the door with her magic and rushed towards the front. "Wait!" The door slammed shut in her face in a flash of pain as her snout collided with it.
"What's the matter, doc?" asked a mocking but familiar tone.
"The other yous reacted the same way when their shit came home t' roost," came the same voice, but from across the room.
"One Shot, One Chance," spoke the voice from directly behind the doctor.
She squealed and spun to find Vinyl Scratch leering at her with unwholesome intent. "Boo."
The new Vinyl didn't have the warm musical nature that had practically suffused the pony that went home with Robert. This one felt much less kind. "Funny thing. The chance one of me could overpower you? Maybe one in a billion. But you morons got us all crashing in a pile." She took a slow step forward. "Eventually, I won the lotto."
"I-impossible! Finding your way back..."
"Another lotto won. Enough of me, enough tries, we found you." Vinyl sudden kicked out a fore-hoof, knocking the terrified doctor over like a rag doll. "I promised you'd watch your world burn."
"Why do you keep saying we?" Fetlock scrambled up to her hooves and backed away from the Vinyl, even as she was pursued. "Stop following me! You're still a new unicorn, I'll send you away again!"
"Try it," invited the Vinyl as she prowled after the doctor leisurely. "Go on, hit me with your best."
Fetlock did just that, the magic shaking on her horn in her building terror. Vinyl popped away with a cruel laughter, just for another of her to appear a few feet to the left, and another equally distant to the right.
Both smiled confidently. "You don't get it. Tha's alright. All you need to do right now, is be hurt."
Gudrun's head cocked to the side a little. She was dangling Applejack in the air at that moment. "I have to go." She dropped Applejack to the ground and rushed towards the simple door the led into the back.
Twilight blinked a moment before she rushed after the griffon, even if she did sport a new bruise right over her eye that would likely turn black later. "Wait!"
Gudrun paid neither of the mares any mind as she wrenched open the door and her eyes went wide.
Applejack rushed up right between her legs and peered inside. "What the hay is... goin' on?" Her words slowed as she beheld a half dozen DJ Pon3's all trashing the room. One was busily smashing a chair against the floor, battering what might have once been an arcane drawing with powerful strokes of her magically wielded furniture.
Another had a cheery bonfire going and was tossing in books and papers with wild abandon.
Two were beside Fetlock, pummeling her. They all seemed rather happy every time the doctor let out a bleat of pain.
The last two were facing the front and began stepping forward to meet the new members of the party. "Glad you could make it," said one of them. "The doctor's no fun."
Gudrun glanced left and right as she advanced. There was some hesitation in her movements, but none in her eyes. She was ready to battle.
A can of bug spray came speeding at her head, only to be caught and sent back at the Vinyl that had thrown it. It exploded mid-air in a cloud of dangerous chemicals. The battle was on.
Applejack glanced at Twilight before she scurried in to join the fray. Fetlock looked like she was being beaten senseless. Bad pony or not, she didn't deserve that.
Twilight was in silent agreement, vanishing just to appear beside Fetlock. The two Vinyls on the doctor looked up at her. "Sheet," one of them announced just before Twilight exploded with magic, propelling the two away just long enough to grab Fetlock and vanish again, appearing just outside the room.
Fetlock was sobbing piteously. "None of this was what I wanted. I just... Ponies are happier now."
Twilight patted her once on the head. "Stay here, we have a problem to handle first."
Applejack and Gudrun were proving capable warriors, punching and kicking at the Vinyls. However, each time a truly telling blow was landed, that Vinyl faded away, only for a fresh one to appear. It was a war of attrition, and one side seemed to be immune to it.
Gudrun staggered forward under the unexpected weight of a newly-appeared Vinyl on her back. The break of stance was good enough to let another slip in and drive a hoof into her gut, forcing a pained wheeze from the griffon.
Twilight stayed back, muttering to herself as she tried to figure out what was going on. "That's it!" she cried, drawing looks from all the Vinyls that stared at her with equal intensity. Twilight took half a step back. Together, they stepped towards her.
Applejack tackled one to the ground, but the other five came in a thunder of clopping hooves.
Twilight's mouth widened in fear, but she tried to keep herself calm enough. Intense magic began gathering in her horn, but she wasn't sure she could cast it fast enough. One Vinyl jumped at her, but Gudrun was there, recovered. The griffon's fist slammed into the false Vinyls cheek and sent the simulacrum crashing to the ground.
"None pass me," she challenged, glaring at the others.
It was enough time. Even as Gudrun began to crumple under the combined efforts of the mob, Twilight felt the spell click into place and a wave of purple magic washed free of her in all directions.
Each Vinyl spat out a very unkind word unfit for reproduction before the wave hit them, and they vanished much like they had done when struck well enough. The trick was that they did not return. Peace had been returned.
Applejack let out a loud huff, sore and bruised. "Now that's a tussle t' remember. Shoot, didn't think there was no end of 'em."
Gudrun pointed out. "Thank you for your timely assistance. As you can see, we are now closed for repairs. Thank you."
Fetlock let out a pained little laugh as she slowly forced herself up to her haunches. "T-thank you, Gudrun, thank you... It's alright..."
Twilight turned to face Fetlock. "Are you okay?"
Fetlock winced faintly. "Aren't you going to jail me, or maybe banish me?" She blew her mane free of her eyes. "Maybe both?"
Applejack slowly emerged from the devastated room. "Ah'd be happy with some answers."
Twilight quickly nodded. "Let's start there. I didn't come here to banish or arrest you, but this has to stop. Who were they? I mean, besides DJ-Pon3."
Fetlock sank a little, then began to tell her tale. There were many cases, but many of her notes were consumed in flames. Of those that were left, she was able to accurately explain six of them. "This is case number six." She sighed softly. "My last case, I imagine."
Applejack poked Fetlock gently. "Ya know, ya kinda brought this las' one on yerself."
Fetlock flinched. "You don't think I know that?" Her eyes moved to Twilight. "You can see it, the notes. I made happiness here, I really did. It's my purpose." She weakly gestured back at her cutie mark, even if it had been defiled with markers by the malicious clones.
Twilight raised a brow high. "While you did manage some good, you also caused incalculable damage to other worlds. Those ponies aren't coming out of nothing. Even if we disregard the morality of each particular case, there's the simple matter of mass conservation that is being entirely ignored. You're unbalancing our universes!"
Fetlock blinked softly. "The mass of a pony can't amount to much compared to the entire universe."
Twilight began droning on about how things worked. It was long, technical, dry, and wickedly complex. The important part was that the minute changes made minute charges and the two universes would pull at each other a little. "It won't do anything today, this year, or even this century, but given enough time..."
Applejack rubbed behind her head. "Ya got the short version ah that?"
Twilight applied a hoof to her face. "Imagine two universes crashing into one another, eventually."
Fetlock sank to the ground on her belly. "I can't put them back."
Twilight nodded. "I realize that, but you can stop this, right now."
Gudrun huffed softly. "Am I being terminated?"
Fetlock shuddered and began to cry quietly, defeated.
Applejack gave the downed doctor a gentle pat. "There there, ah'm sure we can find somethin' else fer ya."
Twilight tapped at her chin thoughtfully. "Why don't you do what you've been doing, just without the dimensional magic?"
Fetlock looked up at Twilight. "What?"
Twilight held two hooves up and brought them together slowly. "Help ponies find other ponies."
Fetlock slowly sat up. "But... How?"
Gudrun shrugged softly. "Pardon me, doctor, but I've heard of similar services."
Applejack nodded in agreement. "Yeah, ya could be a private eye, or a match maker."
Twilight smiled gently. "I think the latter is closer to what you were already trying to do. Let ponies submit their profiles to you, then find two ponies that can fulfill one another." She pointed at the cutie mark on Fetlock's flank. "You can--"
"Fill those holes," whispered out Fetlock as she sat up. "Y-yes, of course."
Twilight held up one hoof. "No more using that spell though, you have to promise."
"I promise," swore Fetlock, her ears off to either side. "Sorry for leading you on a merry chase."
Twilight huffed. "You're good at running. We couldn't find you anywhere until we came back to Manehattan and saw an advertisement right there in the paper."
Applejack tipped her head. "Big Mac n' the rest are gonna be plenty sore at me for takin' so long. Ya got this in hoof, Twi?" Twilight nodded, so Applejack got to trotting off towards the train station to get herself home.
As the days progressed, the new Vinyl Scratch seemed to worry about her past less and less. Not that she had forgotten, Robert had checked with questions, but she just didn't seem very worried about her past, more the present. "And you should too," she chastised, giving Rob a prod in the chest. "C'mon, dude. You're living in freakin' Equestria." She waved to an open window. "Every day is great here."
Robert smiled, but there was a mote of bitterness there. The new Vinyl had some of what the old Vinyl had. They were a better person than him.
Vinyl swung around to his side and threw a leg over him. "That's it, my stallion, we're busting those funky clouds of yours, once and for all."
He blinked at that. "How?"
She squeezed him tight. "I'm going to let you live a dream all guys have at some point. We're hitting the town, having fun, and I'm gonna hang off you while all the other stallions gape in jealousy."
Robert laughed at the idea. Some part of him liked it, the other part... "There's no reason to be, you know, mean about it."
Vinyl rubbed her side against his. "If they get jealous, that's their decision. It's not like I'll shove my face in theirs and go 'Look what he has or anything." She shrugged a little and pulled Robert down by the neck, locking him in a tight grip. "We're gonna have fun. That's just a side effect of having a hot mare for your +1."
"About that."
Vinyl rolled her eyes. "You did fine, and you're going to get better." She raised a hoof and pointed into the kitchen. "Just like I'm getting better at pony dishes. If we sit around moping about not being perfect on the first try, we wouldn't get anything done. Now let's move out!"
There was no further argument to be had, and she hauled her reluctant coltfriend out onto the city. Rob began walking with her shortly and they trotted side by side until they were passing his place of work, the record store. The shopkeep was chatting with the other Vinyl Scratch and receiving a guitar back from her.
He could see Rob's Vinyl Scratch first and jerked back. "C-changeling!"
Vinyl alpha spun to see Vinyl beta. Both mares stared at each other for a silent pregnant moment.
Robert broke the silence. "It's not--"
Vinyl alpha raised a hoof at him, lowered it at beta, and drew a turntable free with her magic. She nodded to beta, set down the turntable, and looked to the shopkeep.
He seemed to get the idea and rushed inside, returning with a record for her to put on it.
She nodded as she placed it carefully on the turntable and got it playing, only to give it a sudden scratch at just the right time.
Beta tilted her head and glanced between them before she reached with her magic to the same place, surprising herself when she found her own turntable. She put it down and waved at the shopkeep. With her own record installed, she gave it a little spin.
Alpha nodded approvingly and let her record go, the song resuming for a precious time before her hooves came down and she began to play a beat. A beat that Beta joined eagerly, at first a little off, but quickly matching the tempo. The two music ponies were in their own world, playing, leading, following, and working off the other without an outside concern in the world.
The shopkeep slid over to Robert. "Do you know what this is about?"
Robert shook his head slowly. "The new one's my marefriend."
That rose his brow. "You? Her?" He looked at the DJ pony laying down radical beats. "A blessing and a curse."
"Curse?"
"I can't imagine it's fun when she's carried away like this."
Robert shrugged softly. "Actually, it's... kinda nice." He liked watching her play, the pleasure on her face, the concentration in her eyes. "I can't play music, but... No, no, this is great."
The shopkeep nudged him. "No wonder she likes you."
Robert felt silly a moment. To think he had asked for a pony less skilled in music. He was glad that part hadn't quite worked out.
Alpha suddenly stopped her record, pulled the needle free and began to pack up. She gave a firm nod to Beta and held out a hoof. It was met with a loud clop. Alpha then strode away as if there was nothing wrong with another her at all.
The crowd that had gathered let out a thunderous applause and stomping of their hooves even as they began to disperse, the show over.
Beta was less unfazed, panting softly with the effort it had required to keep up with the true DJ-Pon3. But she had done it. She had spun burning hot discs with one of her favorite ponies and gotten a seal of approval. Her day was made, and the smile that spread on her face was clear evidence of it. She offered the disc back to the shopkeep, but her eyes were on Rob. "Didja see that?! The Vinyl Scratch, DJ-Pon3, and she liked my stuff!"
Robert felt an urge and did not fight it. He answered her with a sudden kiss.
She laughed into the exchange and pulled him in close. "Seeing two of me matching beats turn you on or something? Stallion." She bumped noses gently. "My stallion."
The shopkeep shook his head. "This one speaks far more than the original, but you are still a lucky stallion to have her. So... not a changeling?"
Vinyl raised a brow at him. "That'd be pretty cool I guess, shapeshifting and all that. Nah. I'm happy enough being me."
He shook his head. "Have fun, whatever you're doing. You have tomorrow off, so you have no excuse." He winked at the new Vinyl as he casually shot down any work-related excuses Rob might have had. He trotted into the store with his two records.
Vinyl tickled Robert under the chin with her magic even as she stuffed away her turntable. "Kinda freaky, having that hidden away all that time. Geeze, I've taken baths."
Robert laughed at that. "It does take getting used to, but it's useful, right?"
Together, they trotted side-by-side. Vinyl pointed at a night club, and soon they were inside.
The doorpony, huge and imposing, put a hoof out at the door, but stopped on seeing Vinyl and drew the hoof back.
Once they were past him, Vinyl leaned in. "Perks of having a celebrity lookalike for a mare, huh?" Her eyes wandered. "Oh christ, they have karaoke up in here? I wonder if they have any show songs. That'd be wicked." She tugged at him. As it turned out, they did have a few, but most were unknown to either, and with a few drinks and a few laughs, both were given drunken tries to keep up with the songs. Worries were discarded, new ponies were met, and fools were made of everyone there, but since everyone was in it together, no one felt the fool.
A stallion bumped Robert out of the way, sending him crashing. "Hey, hot momma, let's take this to the after party, get my drift?"
Vinyl lifted a brow. "You just dissed my colt. Get lost." Her words were flat and blunt. The other ponies around the would-be bully laughed and jeered at his failure even as some other ponies helped Robert to his hooves.
This did not sit well with the thug of a pony. He decided to take it out on Robert, raising a hoof at him. "You think you can talk to me like that!?"
Robert flinched, but didn't run. "Your hearing as bad as your manners? The one talking's over there." He pointed at Vinyl. "You heard her, get lost. We're partying here."
The thug swung, but his hoof was blocked by another, larger, hoof. The bouncer had arrived. The ill-mannered stallion was plucked up like a rag and tossed outside, allowing the revelry to continue.
They staggered home late that night, sloshed and tired. They had two separate beds, but Vinyl wasn't having that. With a bit of a glow, she brought them together. "Not gonna fall off tonight." She hopped up with the uncertain Robert, hugged him tight and promptly passed out. Her soft snores tickled at his ear as she cuddled him in her sleep.
Robert smiled a little, thinking of things in that relative quiet. Vinyl really did seem to care about him, and liked him. He was... He was starting to like her, more than a cheap one-up on the original Vinyl. His Vinyl was special, a person all her own, and kinda great. He slid his hooves around her in kind, and soon they were both faded from the world, sharing their snores.
Fetlock watched Twilight go, then turned to Gudrun. "We're leaving."
"Leaving, doctor?"
Fetlock gestured where the princess had gone. "We have work to do, but we're going to need some... changes. I do hope you didn't actually believe I was interested in playing a casual matchmaker."
Gudrun raised a brow. "I don't try to second guess you, doctor."
Fetlock blew her mane free of her eyes even as she smiled. "You keep reminding me why I like you. We made a mistake, that much is true, but I think we've just got a handle on it. We'll do it right, and quietly. No more ads, just word of mouth." She glanced over her shoulder at the ruins of her workroom. "There goes the deposit..."
Gudrun began packing her papers into folders and gathering her things. "Do you have a place in mind, doctor?"
Fetlock quickly nodded. "I do, actually. First stop, we have to make a business proposal to some ponies with the power to protect us from being casually discovered again. Some of those cases were important ponies. You do remember that?"
"Of course, doctor." She had all her things ready to go, typewriter under one arm. "May I make a suggestion?"
"Mm?"
"The criminal family connection, the Trot Father. They have need for subtlety and experience besides. I feel they would most directly aid our cause."
Fetlock clopped her fore hooves together. "You are so getting a raise once we get things moving again. A perfect choice. They'll be a constant source of business besides. Damn family loses ponies with a disturbing frequency." She whipped her head in a feeble effort to keep her mussed mane in check. "Let's go. There's nothing for us here."
Twilight watched out a window as the train softly rumbled beneath her. She was happy. Another wrong was righted, and she redeemed a pony without the need to get violent with them, even if she and AJ did tussle with her secretary a little. "You're getting better at this, Princess of Friendship," she complimented herself on a job well done.
Gudrun glanced aside at her employer before focusing on the seedy mare before them. She was the Trot Father, despite not being the 'father' of anything.
The criminal overlord spat out a stick of hay she'd been chewing. "So, lemme get this straight." She raised a hoof. "You'z want protection."
Fetlock nodded at her. "In return, you get one pony every two months, no questions asked."
The Trot Father smiled. "I like that. Questions make things complicated." She stepped forward towards Fetlock, another pony pulling out a slender stalk of hay, another lighting it up so the tip flared to life with a puff of the Trot Father's lips. "Now tell me why you can't make with the ponies more often?"
Fetlock shook her head firmly. "The process is complex, and draining. I also require time to fulfill my own ends. If I spent all the time working for you, then I'd get nothing out of this deal." The shaking made her mane fall and she blew it back up.
The leader of low-lifes came closer still, and Gudrun placed herself between her boss and that boss. "No closer."
The Trot Father arced a brow up at the griffon. "Get a load of this one." She laughed and her subordinates laughed with her. "Gotta give her credit, staying true to the boss, can't fault that." She took the burning hay from her mouth, balanced on her hoof. "So here's the deal. I don't protect nopony that ain't part of the crew, and you ain't. See where I'm going?"
Fetlock frowned faintly. "I'm not sure I--"
Gudrun put out a talon in front of Fetlock. "Doctor, if I may?" Fetlock nodded. "I propose a new organization."
The criminal mare snorted softly. "You ain't a stallion but ya got balls of steel right there. Go on, what do ya have in mind?"
Gudrun smiled softly. "It is time we made the Soul Reclamation Society. Doctor Fetlock and yourself will be the first two chairponies on the board."
Fetlock looked surprised. The Trot Father looked intrigued. "Ah like that." She tapped the burning tip off of her hay. "Ah think I like that quite a bit. Creepy, just creepy enough to remind ponies who's in charge." She reached up with a hoof, holding it out towards Gudrun.
Gudrun knelt down and kissed the offered hoof, cradling it in her talons.
The Trot Father smiled. "I hoped you'd understand the offer. You'ze the third chairpony, er, griffon, whatever. You got a good style, a solid head on your shoulders, yeah, I want you in on this." She drew her hoof back. "Ya hear that? These two are under our protection. We got business to do."
