> I'M STAR SWIRL THE FRIGGIN' BEARDED
>  by Gravestone
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> THE FIRST CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Okay let me clarify a few things one I am not a brony but I have watched a few episodes of My Little Pony Friendship is a Magic when I am stuck babysitting my two nieces so I do know some of the names of the characters.  I must admit that the episodes I watched were kind of interesting although I didn't like the idea that the main male character I think his name was Spock or Spike or something you know the dragon yeah anyways I didn't like the idea of how he was always treated.  But anyway let's get back to me and this crazy crap that happened.  It was a cold and cloudy day so I was stuck inside watching more of that pony show with the two hell spawns named Lindsay and Lacey.  We just finished watching a repeat of the two-part episode called Princess Twilight. I know it was a repeat because the last two parter’s I had to sit through were called Twilight's Kingdom.  Although to be honest in that one I was hoping the bad guy would win just, so I didn't have to watch any more of them.  I know I'm a jerk but still, some people can only take talking ponies for so long before they snap.  Anyways as I was saying I just sat through an hour of pure torture when I heard a knock at the door getting up I made my way to the front door and look through the peephole to see who was.  Standing outside was a delivery man holding a box.  I opened the door to greet him and find out what he was doing at my house.

"Excuse me, sir, sorry for bothering you but I have a priority package for a Mr. Alexander Magix." 
The delivery guy said looking at the electronic tablet being held in his hand.

"That's me and I don't remember ordering anything you sure it's the right name and address?" I said as I reached over to the little table standing next to the door where my keys and wallet were always put.

"Yes, sir I'm positive and must be one of those free samples that the company sends out to random people which is kinda strange the name of the company that is I've never heard of it before Discorded enterprises." The deliveryman said as he looked on the tablet through the information.

Shrugging my shoulders and rolling my eyes I showed in my driver's license and preceded to sign my name on the tablet.

"Thank you, sir, and have a nice day." He said as he handed me the box which I noticed was a pretty good size for something like a free sample.

Shutting the door and turning around I walked back into the living room carrying the box still wondering what could be inside of it.  My thoughts were pulled away when both my niece is running up to me wondering what I had.  Ignoring their questions eye preceded to carry the box to my dining room table and set it there thinking later I might open it up to find out what's in it. Luckily for me, the pestering of my two nieces stopped when a knock at the door was heard as well as the call for my sister saying that they were here to pick up their girls.  Saying hi and by to them I watched as they got into their minivan and drove away.  Being grateful that I didn't have to watch the girls any longer it's not that I don't care about my family it's just that I have an antisocial disorder simply put I can't stand being around people for very long. Small groups of 5 to 7 is what I can handle any more than that I become claustrophobic I've had this problem all my life.  So anyways I make my way back into my house and I stop to look at the box on the table, and my curiosity starts to get the better of me.  And proceed to open the box to find out just what's inside. And that's when everything weird could happen did happen.  Let me explain once I open the box and looked inside of it I saw a blue wizard's hat and cloak both with stars and crescent moons on them as well as a bunch of bells.  But that wasn't the weird part the weird part was when the hat and cloak decided to float out of the box and fly over and land on my head and wrap around my neck all on their own.  Just to let you know I was completely freaking out but for some strange reason, I couldn't move a muscle.  After a while, I began to feel I had movement in my body once again.  So I tried the most logical thing and get the two possessed things off of me as quick as possible.  Which didn't quite work the hat couldn't be removed from my head and there was no clasp told the cloak around my neck.  My self-induced panic had to stop when I heard a voice calling my name.



"Alexander, can you hear me?" The disembodied voice said.

"Yes, I can hear you who are you, and what the hell is going on?" I said in a mixture of anger and panic.

"Well that's the thing you see I'm you but I'm you from a different dimension." The disembodied voice said with a little hesitance in it.

"What do you mean me and what the hell are you talking about different dimensions?" I said while I looked around trying to pinpoint where the voice was coming from.

"A different dimension as in a different reality. How can I not explain that any simpler?" The voice said with a little agitation.

"Okay, fine different dimension reality whatever. What do you want from me?" I said is I went back to stand in front of the box on the table again.

"You see I do not possess a physical form in my dimension anymore I am merely thought now but you possess a physical form I wish to offer you a chance at an adventure of a lifetime.  You will experience things you have never dreamed possible and see things only in one's dreams." The voice said sounding like it was pitching the concept for a new adventure movie.

"Sure why not I could use a little adventure in my boring life," I said rolling my eyes and thinking this is nothing more than a bad practical joke.

"Excellent now you won't feel a thing and the transformation to your new pony form will be instant." The voice said with a happy tone.

"Wait,  what ?" Is all I said before everything went black.

I don't know how long I was unconscious but I began to stir hearing voices that sounded feminine.

"Sister can it be true is of him?" One of the female voices said.

"I believe so he did promise that he would return when he was truly needed again." Said the other female voice sounding more motherly than the first.

Feeling the grogginess leave me I began to slowly open my eyes.  Allowing my vision to clear I began to look around and noticed that I was no longer in my house but in a large room with a marble floor.  Ignoring the voices and the gasps eye preceded to get myself up off the floor.  Finding myself standing on for legs I almost began to freak out again but I remembered the voice telling me that I would be any pony body.  Standing at my full height I shook my body like a dog would remove the water from their fur only to hear the jingling of a bunch of bells.  Looking back at my side I noticed I was still wearing that cloak.  Looking up I could see the brim of the hat as well.  Letting out a deep sigh I decided to look for something I could use as a mirror.  After all, I was kind of curious about what I  looked like.  Looking to my left I saw some ponies in seats of golden armor.  A few of them carried a shield making my way over to them I ignored the voices of the two females behind me.  Standing in front of the pony with a shield I moved to position myself so I could see my reflection.  Looking at myself I turned my head side to side seeing that I was a white pony with a beard and then I noticed on my forehead I had a horn.

"Okay, I guess I'm a unicorn then," I said in a voice similar to my own but a little deeper.



As I continued inspecting myself in the reflection I suddenly caught movement in the corner of my eye.  Turning my head I noticed two ponies approaching me one possessed fur as wide as my own and the mane and tail almost the colors of a rainbow.  The other had dark blue for and its mane and tail resembled the night sky with stars.  What caught my attention the most was that they both possessed a horn and wings.  Turning to face them I recognize them from a couple of the episodes I was forced to watch with my nieces.  But I couldn't quite place their names.  I then heard a voice in my head telling me to bow and addressed them by their names.

"Greetings Princess Celestia Princess Luna it is a pleasure seeing both of you again,"  I said as I bowed to each of them wondering why I said the words seeing and again?

"Is it really you old friend you truly have returned as you promised." The one now identified as Celestia said with tears forming in her eyes.

"Do you say this is not a cruel joke by Discord tell us, that thy are our old friend and teacher Star Swirl?" The one called Luna said with tears forming in her eyes as well.

As I looked at them I noticed that I was approximately the same height as Luna yet I still needed to look up to see Celestia in the face. Looking upon both of them I could tell they wanted my answer to be yes so taking a deep breath I closed my eyes to give them a truthful answer.

"Yes and no you see I am this Star Swirl guy and I'm also not you see."  I began to say before being interrupted as they both lunged at me and began to hug and cry telling me how much they missed me and were glad to see me back.

As all of this was happening I could only think of one thing. Whoever this Star Swirl the Bearded guy was, that I hate him and if he was still alive I'd beat the ever-loving crap out of him or I'll just find his grave and use it as a toilet for putting me through all this.
> THE SECOND CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

      " I need an adult, I need an adult  !!" I screamed as I ran around what I now know as the throne room trying to get away from those too-crazy princesses.

All the while the too-crazy princesses kept trying to hug me and tell me that they missed their beloved teacher.  Let's just say I was glad that I wasn't actually an old man because I would've tried out way early especially since none of the supposed guards did a damn thing to help me.  Seriously, the guards were supposed to help someone in danger right well I was in danger and what did they do absolutely nothing. Screw you, stupid guards.

In between running for my life and trying to explain to them who I am I finally caught a break...  Looking to the main doors I noticed they began to open deciding to go for broke I changed my direction and full outran to them. 
As the doors opened completely I quickly noticed a white stallion with a blond mane and tail wearing a dress suit, shirt whatever enter the throne room at the same moment I was exiting.

"Thanks for the save buddy !" I yelled as I ran past him.

He said something to me or about me as I passed him but I didn't really care I was free. 

Quickly choosing a direction I ran down the hall not caring who was in my way. Luckily the ones in maid outfits got out of my way but the guards were too slow. I plowed through small groups or jumped over them hell I think I ran on the walls for a bit. All I did was run turning left and right down the endless corridors until I saw a set of large doors hoping they were my means of freedom I charged at full speed strange thing was the doors opened on their own. Not caring I ran hoping and praying that this was it.
Let me ask you something have you ever had one of those days where things start off just right? Wake just before the alarm clock goes off. Hit every green light. Finding a perfect parking spot in front of the store. The store has everything you're looking for and when you get to the register you realized your wallet is still at your house. Yeah, that purity much explains my luck today.
There I stood back in the throne room. But now I didn't have just the two princesses still with the scary clown smiles but there were six more ponies staring at me and two of them had smiles scarier than the princesses. A pink one that looked downright psycho. I mean it, her hair was like, really poofy and a lavender one whose smile was as big as the pink ones but her eyes they were huge. To be honest I was more scared of her than any of the others including the pink one. But like I said I found myself back in the throne room.
And I did the only manly thing I could do.

I threw myself on the floor kicking and screaming like a four-year-old whose mother said no to candy. 

After my little tiff, I ended up on my back with my eyes closed breathing heavily trying to catch my breath. When I heard the clip-clop of hooves making their way closer to me. Hearing them stop at my head I opened my eyes to look at an upside-down Celestia.

"Feeling better?" She asked in a concerned tone but instead of a smile, she had a grin on her face.

Taking one final deep breath I looked her in the eyes and began kicking and screaming once again. Then I immediately stopped when I felt a hoof hit me across the face. I'm not going to lie it hurt but it did snap me out of it. After calming down I composed myself getting back up on my hooves. I Looked to Celestia knowing she was the one that hit me and waited for her to apologize. But that never happened instead she starts talking in a motherly tone explaining everything that has happened to me.

"Allow me to explain, you see long ago our beloved teacher Star Swirl had discovered a way to see, into what is known as the multiverse," Celestia said taking a breath before continuing. Unfortunately in every world that he viewed the same thing happened only a fraction of his knowledge survived for the future to learn from. And upon seeing this he decided that he would find a way to preserve all of his knowledge for the future. She said before she was rudely interrupted by the lavender pony who to my surprise was taking notes.

"But princess I've read all of Star Swirls books and I've never heard of the multiverse?" The rude lavender pony said.

"The reason why it is unknown Twilight is that most of the different worlds were not very hospitable in fact  only a small handful would be close to what we have here." Celestia said turning from her back to my direction." As I was saying Star Swirl decided to preserve his knowledge but the only way to do so was to transfer his mind into an object that held great importance's something that was exposed to his magic on daily basis." She said.

"His hat and cloak right?" I said looking over at Twilight with a smug grin knowing I got to say it first.

"Yes but unfortunately he would have to use all of his magic for the spell to work," Luna said as both she and Celestia lowered their heads.

"Okay now wait a minute. You're telling me that this Star Swirl guy used a spell and put everything he knows into this hat and cloak. And then sent them to another world where another him would put them on and come back here to spread the knowledge to future ponies ?"I said surprising myself for not only understanding it but saying it in one breath.  

"Yes, precisely that,"  Celestia said with a smile on her face.

"Okay, then I've got a few questions then," I said with a confused look. "First when did all of this happen?"

"Approximately 1200 years ago," Celestia said finally starting to put things together.

"Judging by your expression you figured it out too," I said looking at her.

" What does he mean figured it out too sister?"Luna said as she made her way closer to us.

"What I mean princess is if Star Swirl cast the spell 1200 years ago then why did I receive these things today?" I said in a stock tone. "You see I'm not a theoretical physicist but I think time moves at the same speed even in different dimensions."I said taking a breath." I know for certain that I got these this morning. I thought they were a free sample for a new company called Discorded Enterprises or something."I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Wait did you say Discorded as in Discord? "Twilight said actually she yelled.  

Before anyone could answer that, there came a disembodied voice.

Did somepony call my name? The voice said sounding like John de Lancie.

Hey, I said I watch some MLP episodes but I also watch Star Trek the Next Generation and Q was my favorite character. 

"Discord show yourself and explain what have you done !!" Luna said in the RCV.  (Royal Cantorlot Voice)

"Sheeesh Could you tone down the volume I think they heard you in Manehatten." Discord said as he materialized next to me. 

Screaming like a girl and jumping back a good five feet I stood there looking slack-jawed at him or it or whatever.

Turning to face me a smile crept on his face. "Oh, I'm so glad you finally made it. I was wondering how long it would take for you to get here?" Discord said as he floated over to me.

"Discord, Would you please explain what is going on?" Celestia said with a stern look.

"Very well you see Swirly didn't take into account that the one who was to receive the hat and cape and yes it's a cape was at the end of his life as well. So I intervened."He said before Twilight spoke up.

"What do you mean intervened? " Twilight asks.     Man I mean she can't go one second without asking a question.


"Yes intervened now don't interrupted it's quite rude." Discord said snapping his bird claw causing all of us to be sitting at school desks.

"Now where was I? Oh yes, he miscalculated so I contacted the Discord from that dimension and he said he would help. Although he did cast a spell on them something about the seventh son of the seventh son being born with the reincarnated soul of that world's Star Swirl although he did go by the name Merlin there. Discord said as he pulled off his horns and scratched his head with his lion's paw.

After hearing this I sat down and started to hyperventilate only to feel a hoof on my shoulder. Turning to see who it was I was surprised to see it was Pinkie. 

"Are you alright?" She asked me in a calm and caring voice.   

"Yeah, Yeah," I said calming down." It's just I'm the seventh son of the seventh son and my dad's family always believed we were dissidents of Merlin the magician. I said in a low emotionless tone. "So you're telling me that scene all of this stuff happen being born and who my ancestor was now not only do I've had all of Star Swirl knowledge but I have his body too. Oh, let's not forget that my life back home doesn't exist anymore did I leave anything out?"I asked trying to remain calm but failing.

"Purity much hit the nail on the head there chap." Discord said before his eyes widen in shock as I lunged at him trying to choke him with my front hooves. 

Screaming at him,      (Finding out their curse words are way different)
YOU MOTHER BUCKER !!!
YOU SON OF A BISCUIT !!! 
I'M GOING TO BUCKING KILL YOU !!!

Let's just say it took the combined magic of three alicorns to pull me off him.

Standing back up Discord looked at me floating there still trying to strangle him. 

He cleared his throat and looked over to the princesses." I think I'll go now, I might come back when he's a little less hostile." Discord said as he snapped his claw and disappeared in a puff of confetti.

Still floating in the air I was moved over in front of the three princesses. Each one had a stern-looking expression.

"What ?" I yelled before I realized who I was talking to.

"If you will calm down we will put you back on the floor," Celestia said as her expression changed from stern to caring. 

"Fine you can put me down I'll stop acting like a raving lunatic," I said after taking a deep breath. 

Feeling the ground beneath my hooves I just stood there with my head lowered and I was kicking hoof on the floor.

"Don't you feel better now that you relaxed a bit ?" Luna asked me probably thinking I'd say something nice.

Taking another deep breath. I was still looking down I said.

" No, because now I'm Star Swirl the Friggin' Bearded."
> THE THIRD CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"For the love of all that is Holy leave me alone!" I yelled as I ran down the hall in the castle being chased by none other than Twilight the living encyclopedia Sparkle.  
Can somepony tell me where this mare puts all that information she gets? Seriously, her brain must fill up her entire body from her cute face and head down to her sexy flank.  Wait, what did I just say?  Oh, this is just perfect I've been here for over a month and I'm starting to think these ponies are attractive. Well, to be honest not all of them just a select few. Twilight, Luna, Fluttershy, Derpy Hooves, and a thestral guard named Star Light are the only ones that I think have a nice flank among other things. There is some good news you see after I accepted the fact about me and bearded are one and the same I was able to take off the hat and cape. Yay me.
The only thing was without them I was just plain old Alex. Put them on and I'm Alexander Star Swirl it's me but with all the bearded jerk's knowledge. But like I said, I'm running for my life not because Twilight wants to know more about Star Swirl no she wants to learn all about humans. Let me tell you something five hours of nothing but questions would cause anypony to run screaming for the hills. 

"Alex why are you running I just want to ask you a few more questions," Twilight yelled as she chases after me.

"Five hours is not a few questions it's torture and I'm sure it's against the Geneva convention," I yelled back as I increased my speed. 

After a few moments, I don't hear her behind me anymore and I think I'm home free. That is until I turn a corner and low and behold there standing before me is the lavender nightmare with a smug look on her muzzle.

"How did you get, you teleported didn't you?" I said looking at her as she nodded her head.

Feeling defeated I was just about to give in when I came up with a great idea.

"You know what screw it if you want to ask me a question fine but you have to do something for me," I said as an evil smirk moved across my muzzle.

"Oh really that's wonderful and very kind of you but what could you want from me?"She said looking a little confused and fearful from my expression. 

" It's nothing too hard for me to answer more of your questions, You just have to show me your plot," I said retaining a smile on my face.

WHAT!!! She screamed.

"You heard me show the plot or no questions," I said still with a smile.

"But but that's just-just so perverted how can you ask me that?" She said with a very noticeable blush.

"Simple I'm a guy and guys like booty," I said in my best Bill Clinton voice.

Twilight closed her eyes as she lifted her tail so Alex could have a view of her most private and embarrassing parts. She waits with tears starting to form in her tightly closed eyes.

"Wow, they're not purple." Sniff sniff  "But they smell like lavender, I wonder what they taste like?" 

Hearing that Twilight opened her eyes in shock turning her head to yell behind her she was about to speak when she didn't see anypony there. Looking around she finally saw Alex ten feet ahead of her sitting on his flank looking at a vase full of green flowers. 

If anypony were to look at her they would see her left eye twitching and her mane and tail moving in a nonexistent breeze. And if said pony were smart they would recognize when the normally logical and collective young alicorn begins to RAGE SHIFT they would run for the hills.


3000 years ATA   (After Twilight's Ascension)

"And as we continue our tour Mares and Stallions. We come upon one of the most bizarre sites. As you can see the legend of the foalish stallion and the vengeful Princess is true." The tour guide says.
As ponies look upon a sight.
There on the wall is a shadow of a pony looking as if they are screaming in pain burned in a place like those of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.    

Back to present

In the medical wing of the castle a figure lays on a bed wrapped in so many bandages he resembled a mummy of old. Sitting around the poor soul were three alicorns each with a different expression. As for the injured pony between the moans of pain and the inaudible words, all focused at a certain purple princess. There wasn't much of a conversation going on in the room. 

"Now look Twilight said she was sorry so think it would be best if we just put this little incident behind us and try to move on," Celestia said in that motherly tone of hers.

Looking at her with my one good eye being that the other is bandaged over I had only one thing to say." Muph moo Mummut." (Buck you Sunbutt) 

"There you see Alex has already forgiven you. Now let us leave so he may rest and recover." Luna says as she watches the others leave before she leans down to whisper in my ear. "If you would have asked I would have shown you mine." She said as she turned to leave swinging her tail side to side giving me a clear view of her naughty bits.

After she left the only thought that came to me was, Damn sexy Luna.

With nothing else to do, I decided to just lay there and think. Maybe if I focused hard enough I could figure out some way to get home. Closing my eyes I began to calmly breathe in and out. 

After what felt like forever I finally opened my eyes and found myself in a void of white. Looking around I smiled knowing that this was the place where all thought originated the subconscious the astral plan.

Yes Yes I'm very proud you finally got here now we can talk.


Who's that? Great just great I access my subconscious and there's already someone here that's just perfect.

I'm not someone I'm you, well your Id actually. 


Wait I thought the Id was the primitive part of the mind?

That's true for a human but for ponies it is where the true intellectual part of the mind resides.

".."

Just trust me. Now I know you have a lot of questions, but I would like to know one thing? 

WHY FOR THE LOVE OF FAUST DO I HAVE TO LOOK AT THESE THREE IMAGES EVERY DAY YOU PERVERT?!!   






Hey who are you calling pervert, I just so happen to be a normal guy with a healthy libido and strong imagination.

Yeah anyways we're getting off-topic. As I was going to say congratulations for reaching here. I know you have a lot of questions but scene this your first time here you won't be able to stay for long.

What do you mean I can't stay long?

Don't interrupt it's rude. Like I said I will answer your questions First don't even bother with Fluttershy, Derpy, and Star Light you won't get any were with them.

Oh yeah, why not?

Simple Flutters X Discord, Derpy X Time-Turner, and Star Light Requested to be transferred to Manehatten.


Whoa, thanks for the heads up you know you could learn a little thing called tact. Jerk

I'm sorry but I told you there's only a small amount of time remember.


Fine, what else can you tell me?

Alright second thing is you really don't need the hat and cape to access Star Swirl's memories you have all of the knowledge the hat and cape are just that a hat and cape.  

Okay then what's the third thing?

This is the most important thing you should know. Stop dreaming about the Princesses and just ask them out for buck sake. You already have two of them that really like you (Luna and Twilight) so just ask all of them out. You never know you might get lucky and start a herd with three alicorns. 

Wait a minute what do you mean a herd?

Seriously have you not noticed the ratio of mares to stallions it's like five to one. Although herding isn't practiced that much there is still a chance with those three. And you got to admit. If you weren't thinking about it then these images wouldn't be here.    


Okay, I'll admit it but how do you know that it'll work out you know with them.

I don't I just have faith and you're about to come out of this so if I don't see you for a while. Just remember your not alone. 

I watch as the white void starts to fade away. Seconds later I sat up in the bed and looked around. Then three things came to mind.

First I was no longer in pain.
Second I didn't look like a mummy anymore.
And finally Celestia, Luna, and Twilight were sitting around me with blushing and smiling faces.

"Okay, I have a few questions to ask you three," I said gaining their attention.
"First why don't I look like the mummy anymore?
Second how long have you three been here?
And third what's with the blushy - smiley faces?"

Twilight spoke first. "It appears you were able to cast a healing spell on yourself which is an amazing scene alicorns can't even do that ."

"Hooray for me I'm special, and my other two questions?" I said sarcastically making Twilight roll her eyes and smile.

"As for the time we have been here, we arrived moments after you entered that meditated state I would have to say forty-eight hours," Celestia said causing me to turn in her direction.

Turning to look at Luna this time I waited for her answer. "Yes, I believe it is my turn to answer."  

Making me shake my head yes.

"You see the reason we have theses you put it blushy - smiley faces is because we heard everything and I mean everything . You tend to talk a lot when you're meditating."Luna said gaining more crimson on her cheeks.

After hearing all of this I just got off the bed and made my way out the door.

"Alex are you alright, where are you going ?" Twilight asked very concerned about me.

"Oh yeah I'm fine really I'm just going to go to the bar and have one drink then I'll be back," I said as I made my way out of the room and down the hall.

After I was gone Luna looked to the others breathing in a heavy sigh." Sister, should we have not told him everything."

I don't think that is a good idea for now let us wait for the test to come back before we say anything. Celestia said looking from her sister to Twilight.

"Wait did he say he was going out to drink?"Luna said with a bit of fear in her voice as she made her way to the door.

"Yes why wou... Oh no, all that's left in the city are very mares looking for a good stallion to rut. Celestia said realizing the danger their Alex was in.

"We have to find him before it's too late!!" Twilight yelled as she ran out of the room activating a spell.

"  What did you just do Twilight?" Tai called to her former student as she also started to run down the halls.

"Tracking spell We'll find him in no time!"Twilight yelled back." I got him so let's go save our stallion!" She called as she teleported the others following her actions.



Twenty- four hours ago

"This is horrible it can't be happening. How could we have forgotten of our estrus cycle?"Celestia said no one as she paced back and forth. 

"Sister calm down we can handle it we've done it before now I'm just worried about young Twilight this is her first estrus as an alicorn and we both know how hard it can be," Luna said placing a wing over her sister to reassure her.

"By the way where is Twilight?" Celestia asked before she had a fearful expression.

Both she and Luna took off running for the medical wing hoping that the young alicorn wasn't doing what they both were thinking. Bursting through the doors they both stopped to see Twilight just sitting there listening. Turning to look at them Twi brought her hoof to her lips to hush them.

"Come here you got to hear this."  She said waving to them.

Walking over and sitting down the three listened to the one-sided conversation all of them blushing at what was being said. 


Alex's internal conversation with himself.

What do you mean how do I feel about them?

Fine, they're beautiful okay is that what you want to hear.

And maybe I really like them a lot.

Why? What do you mean why?

Well, Tai's kind and she listens to you without judging you.
Luna tells you like it is and she doesn't hold anything back. 
Twilight she's just so adorkable especially when she smiles.

Choose one how can I do that? That's like asking me to choose to have my hands or feet cut off I just couldn't do it.

A what?  A herd what's that?

You mean I can ask if all of them would stay with me? But what if they say no or just laugh at me.

Yeah, your right it doesn't hurt to ask.

Can I tell you something that's kind of a secret?

You see back when I was on earth I always said that I hated kids but I didn't. I was just jealous that my brothers and sisters found someone a had a family. And I was stuck all alone. 

What was that?

How many? 

Oh, I always wanted a big family you know six to ten kids. And no I don't care about all boys or girls it wouldn't matter they'd be my kids.

I don't know why I'm even talking about this It's not like they have those kinds of feelings for me anyway.

Well see you around Star Swirl and again sorry about all that stuff I said you're actually a pretty nice guy to talk to a little pushy but still.


Back in the conscious world AKA the medical wing

After hearing all of that the three alicorns sat there with tears in their eyes and crimson on their cheeks. 

"What do we do?" Twilight said breaking the silence.

Celestia shook her head then she got up and moved over to the bed. Leaning down she gently kissed Alex on the lips. "The answer is yes my dear Alex, I will join your herd and I will love to bare your foals as many as you'd like." She said stepping away with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

Seeing this both Luna and Twilight did and said the same thing. 

After it was over Twilight began to giggle.

"  What is the matter, my former student?" Tai said with a raised brow.

Looking at her mentor Twilight blush more. "You see that was, well that was my first kiss."

At that moment the three began to giggle before putting their hooves over their muzzles to quiet themselves. 

"So what do we do now sister?" Luna asked in a hushed tone.

"First we activate the spell to take care of our estrus then we wait until Alex decides when he is ready to start a herd with us," Celestia said looking from her sister to Twilight.

Activating the spell their horns glowed for a few minutes before they finally subsided. 

"Now what?"  Luna said looking a little bored.

"Well, we could go and get tested to see if we are able to conceive a foal with Alex," Twilight said perking up the other two alicorns.

"That is a wonderful idea I believe Doctor Lovebird is on call right now,"  Celestia said gesturing the others to follow her out of the room to find the doctor.


Back to present time at a bar just outside the castle.

Alex was sitting at the bar nursing his drink when a group of five mares made their way over to him.

"Well well look what we have here girls alone stallion out and about during heat season."

Turning around Alex came muzzle to muzzle with Upper Crust. Man did Alex really hate this mare I mean he hated her so much he wished she would come down with an Eternal yeast infection. That's how much he hated her. 

But Alex decided to be a little civil. "What do you want Upper Crud?" He said remembering how she treated him his first week here.

"Oh, how sweet you're still mad about that day," Upper said with an I'm better than you attitude. Quite simple There are two ways this is going to turn out. A. you come quietly and state our heat cycles or B. kicking and screaming, either way, your ours until we're done with you." She said poking a hoof in his chest.

Looking past the group of mares Alex began to smile clearing his throat he looked Upper Crust in the eyes. "Actually you five have a slight problem with that idea." 

"Oh Yeah and what could that be Stud," Upper said getting annoyed.

" That's simple them," Alex said raising his hoof pointing behind the mares.

With that, all five mares turn around to see three very pissed-off alicorn princesses.

"Pri  Princess Celestia  Princess Luna Princess Twilight what are you three doing here?"Upper said as she and the others bowed to the royalty.

Celestia's expression changed from stern to loving with a bit of a devilish grin. "That is quite simple my little pony we are here to retrieve Alex. Celestia said still holding that grin. 

"After all what kind of herd would we be if we did not protect our stallion from other mares especially during estrus." Luna and Twilight said in unison.

Hearing this all five lust-filled mares fainted immediately.

Seeing that it was safe to move Alex got off the barstool and made his way over to the princesses mouthing the words thank you to them.

"Now I got a few things to say about this herd deal," Alex said looking at the mares in front of him. First off I am and will always be a pain in the plot, and second I want a big family that means no less than twelve foals."

"We already figured that you will never change who you are and we excepted that. Luna said grinning devilishly. 

"But the part about a big family we were thinking more along the lines of fifteen foals," Twilight said having the same devilish grin as the other two.

Yes, That sounds lovely but I think it would be best if we return to the castle to prepare a statement for the public and those pesky nobles. Celestia said as she turned to leave.

"Statement what statement?" I asked looking a little confused.

"Why the four of us forming a herd and the soon-to-be a wedding for us," Luna said as she too turned to leave.

"Now come on Alex the sooner we get back to the castle the sooner we can start on that big family you always wanted," Twilight said in a seductive tone turning to leave with the others.

As the three mares walk back to the castle Alex noticed how they were swinging their hips sexy like and their tails moving just enough so he could see their naughty bits. Stopping for a moment Alex thought to himself.

You know this ain't so bad it could be worse I could have come here as Flash Sentry.  
> THE FOURTH CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    It has been a month since the three royal plots chose to well you know. Anyway, right now I'm walking through the city with Sparkletush on our way to do something.  To be completely honest I had no idea what we're doing I kind of tuned out what she said this morning and I am getting really ticked off at the way all these so-called nobles are looking at us.  See after the big announcement of the girls and I decided to form a herd there was a big uproar. Care to take a guess how was having the hissy fit, anyone yep those pain in the flank no-balls.

Let's see if I can remember some of the things they said, "This is a travesty, If you are to wed then let it be with a noble, This Lonesome peasant isn't fit to be near you, What is the meaning of this? Put us down, My mane my tail I'm bald AHHHHHHHH! " Those last three were the no-balls freaking out when I got pissed and started to throw them out of the room well except for Jet Set and Upper Crust I just made them go bald. Did I forget to mention that I really hated those two?

There was some good news out of the one hundred nobles twenty were thrilled for us Fancy Pants, Hoity Toity, and Fleur de Lis to name a few. Here's a shocker Blue Blood was one of those who was happy for us, to be honest, I found out while the four of us will be gone on our year-long honeymoon he'll be in charge. Although I don't think he knows that Discord, Cadance, and Shining Armor will be watching over him to keep him in line but who am I do crush someponies dream. Suddenly Twi stops dead in her tracks which caused me to back peddle rearing up I lost balance and came down. To the eyes of everypony else it looked like I was mounting Twilight in public not missing a beat I leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"I'm not complaining how we ended up like this, but next time could you tell me when you're going to stop suddenly or I might just keep going and plow you I, mean through."

Bless her heart without missing a beat Twilight just teleported out from under me causing me to fall forward with a thud. Getting up with a groan I look over to my left and see her standing there with a smug look on her muzzle. 

"What are you smiling about I saw your ear twitch you were thinking about it too," I said standing to my full height.

"True but unlike you, I am not an exhibitionist." She said as she turned to face the direction we were going before this happened.

Turning my attention to where Twi was looking I laid my eyes on a moderately nice house I could tell it was a Victorian-style manor house with a white picket fence.
 

"So what are we doing here again house hunting or something?" I asked receiving a confused and annoyed look from Twilight.  

"No this is the house I grew up in and we're here so you can meet my parents," Twi said with a big smile on her face.

Hearing those words caused me to do a 180 and start heading back to the castle.

"Nope, nope, nope not gonna happen parents and I don't mix I'm outta here call me when you're done I'll be at the bar," I said as I started to walk away only to be stopped by her magic bringing back to her side.

"Come on Alex it won't be as bad as you think my parents are going to love you," Twilight says as she nuzzles my neck.

Pulling back I give her a deadpan stare."Seriously do you not remember what happened when your brother met me?"

"It wasn't that bad." She said with a little chuckle.

"That bad, that bad Twi he ordered the royal guard to hunt me down so he could skin me alive and turn me into a eunuch. I'm just glad that Cadance threatened him that if anything happened he would be sleeping on the couch for the rest of his life. Now as for your parents I see your mother being so happy that she can't contain herself, her little girl found someone to spend the rest of her life with and give her more grandchildren your dad will more than likely want me dead."I say to her as her parents stand at the door looking at us.



Turning our attention to them I see my assumptions were correct Twilight's mother had a smile that could put the Pink Party Pony of Ponyville to shame while her father was giving me the stinkeye.

"Mom, dad it's so good to see you," Twilight said as she rushed up to hug them. "Allow me to introduce my coltfriend and fiancee Alex," she said stepping away from them to stand by my side.

"Hello there as Twilight said my name is Alex, I'm a former human turned pony from a different world and if you wondering why I look like Starswirl it is because in my world I was his direct descendant and it just so happens that my pony form is a dead ringer of his, "I say in one breath while extending my hoof.

The silence that followed was uber scary I mean there wasn't even a cricket chirping. luckily Twilight's mother broke it up by inviting us inside. Side note here Twilight's mom's name is Twilight and to be honest she happens to be a MILB. (a Mare I'd Like to Buck) Don't judge me she may be twice my age but Celestia and Luna are thousands of years old and I'm still willing to tap those plots.

Once inside we made our way to the living room Twilight and I sat on the couch while her parents sat across from us. To my surprise, it wasn't as bad as I thought especially with all the embarrassing little stories Twi's mom was telling me. Here are some things you should know Twilight's mom asked me to call her mom while her dad Nightlite said to call him Night. Now, where was I?

You were talking about all the embarrassing stuff that happened to Twilight when she was younger.


Thank you... Wait a minute Pinkie what are you doing here your not in this story. 

Yes I am you just don't know it yet. 


Fine whatever. Can you let me get back to the story and no more fourth wall breaking this thing is already weird as it is just talking to you.

Only if you promise that you'll write me and my friends into this story.


Fine I promise to

NO PINKIE PROMISE!!!

Okay, ok, Cross my heart hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye. There you happy? 

Okie Dokie Lokie!!

Alex, Alex are you alright you kind of just froze there for a moment I was a little scared. Twilight said as she nuzzled me.

As she pulled away a faint sound could be heard on the wind faint but you could just make it out.           FOREVER  

Looking at me Twilight cocked her eyebrow."You just made a Pinkie Promise didn't you?"

"I don't know, yes, maybe that, or I just sold my soul to the devil. Either way, I'm screwed aren't I?" I said with a hint of fear in my voice.

"As long as you don't break it you'll be safe." She said with a smile.  

Anywho we continued our conversation and I'd have to say that her parents started to accept me more and more. Velvet or mom liked it when I told her about all the different types of literature that were from my world. See she wrote children's stories and when I told her about Grimm's fairy tales, Aesop's fables, mother goose, and others. Needless to say, she talked me into coming to see her publisher with her and has recited the stories I can remember and have all of them rewritten for the foals of Equestria to enjoy. Don't judge me I wasn't going to take credit for them. I was just going to tell them the stories and who wrote them so no copyrighting hell I'm not even getting paid for it. As for Night he like most guys had two things he loved the most sports and work. Sports was a little hard due to the fact only two games transferred over to pony Hoofball and Soccer aka Football/ rugby and soccer. For the work part, he is an astronomer so I told him about all the stuff humans did like the Mars Rover, the Moon landing, the Voyager space probes, and the Space Station. After hearing about all of that he decided to make plans to build a rocket to orbit the planet.
Note to self, stop talking about human stuff with ponies.

After the visit Twilight and I made our way back to the castle. We were about a block away when I stopped.I don't know why but there was something bothering me and I just couldn't shake it. Seeing my distress Twilight came over and placed her hoof on my shoulder.

"Hey, Alex is everything alright the way you look right now is making me a little worried." She said to me with heartfelt concern in her voice. 

"Yeah, I'm fine I was just thinking," I said faking a smile.

"Really what about?" She said tilting her head to the side.

"Well all of this, I said waving my hoof around.  "You, me the princesses, I just want to know why, why the three of you chose to start a herd with? 

"Is that all?" Twilight said with a smile on her face.

I looked at her with a deadpan expression. "Oh, come on Sparlketush, I'm rude vulgar and I've teased you three more than Trollestia herself. I want to know why after all of that you girls still want to be with me?"

"True, but I can give you three important examples of why we chose you." She said stepping back and putting her serious face on. 

"First off remember when those nobles were bad-mouthing Luna and you told them that everypony is allowed to make mistakes no matter who they are and if they can't accept that then they can take a flying leap off a cliff for all you cared. In fact, you decided to help them out by volunteering to throw a couple of them off yourself.
Second, when all those dignitaries showed up and were causing Celestia so much grief, she looked so stressed that I was afraid she would have sent some of them to the moon, but you stepped in and told them that if they couldn't figure out their own problems then they needed to quiet and have someone smarter take over. And after that, you took her to the spa so she could relax. 
And lastly, remember when I caught the feather flu you stayed by my side the whole time taking care of me making sure I was alright, you even preened my wings every day to make sure I didn't lose any feathers." Twilight said smiling with tears in her eyes.

"Really I did all of that?" I asked with a shocked expression.

Twilight just nodded her head.

"Damn, I must have been really drunk or my blood sugar was low because I am never that nice," I said with a sheepish smile.

She just rolled her eyes and chuckled before turning to head back to the castle.

Following behind her I decided to have a little fun copying the scene from one of my favorite movies.
Walking behind her I pump my hips saying her name in a creepy tone the whole way back with her telling me to stop it but me being me I just kept it up making her hole coat turn beet red and everypony around look at me like I was completely crazy. 


After we entered the castle Twilight turned around and looked at me with absolute hatred in her eyes. "Do you know how embracing that was?" She screamed at me.

I just shrugged and walked up to her giving her a kiss on the lips before trotting away calling back, "I love you to Twily!"

Looking over my shoulder I say Twilight stands there for a moment be for looking at me with a loving smile on her face.

"This isn't so bad I've got three mares that are in love with me, even if I am a jerk sometimes and they want to start a family could my life get any better than this?" I thought to myself before I realized I called forth Murphy's Law. Seconds later I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and everything went black.

Screw you Murphy and your stupid law thing jerk.
> THE FIFTH CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello darkness my old friend I've come to speak with you again

"Will you shut the buck up man you are so annoying," I yelled to my psyche passenger Id, or as I like to call him Pain In The Plot for short. "Ugh, where are we and why does it smell like a high school locker room?"

I know less than you of what's happening in the world right now, so why do you keep asking me that, I pointed out the first time we met that I am you Id or do we have to go over that conversation again?

"No, once was enough so what do you think, happen to us I mean me?"

Oh, let's see I think it would be a good idea to maybe oh I don't know open your eyes and look around!

"Fine, fine you don't have to yell sheesh ok you heard me open your eyes and here I go," I said to myself before opening my eyes to the sight of nothing, absolutely nothing. 

I know it's anticlimactic but you can't write about something when there's nothing to write about. Well ok I'll try let's see looking, looking oh um the walls well there black and shiny and there is some green light coming off some crystal things and that's pretty much it. I stuck in a room with black shiny walls a green light crystal things and now I'm bored. Time to see if this room has a door. Nope not there nope, nope ah here it is now the question is should I take door number one or stay here and be bored.

Door number one, door number one, stay put, door number two! Screams multiple voices.

"Hey, how many voices do I have up there?"

How many do you want?

"I would like just mine but I can handle ID so the rest of you can take a hike." 

The sound of hooves shuffling away could be heard with muffled complaints.

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah time to explore. 

Stepping through the door I turning right and started walking until I came to another door this one was to a long hall. Walking on I came to another door. Are you sensing a trend here just a heads up there's a lot of walking so much that I'm just going to skip ahead 5 hours and 283 doors and empty halls? Unless you want me to write about it anyone, anyone no then okay. 

Now as I was saying at Hall 284 I started to hear a muffled voice it was of course coming from the other end of the hall. So making my way down there the voice was becoming clearer. It had a reverberating sound to it listening to it a little more I recognized who it was. None other than my favorite villain Queen Chrysalis. Don't judge me I said I was stuck watching the show but that doesn't mean I haven't seen some of it. And everyone has their favorite Hero and or Villain mine just happens to be a bug pony changeling for both. Let me explain see she does everything for the survival of her people.Everyone is linked in one mind that means if one of them is in trouble then everyone knows and they can help. Like Naruto and his shadow clones they each can learn something and in the end, they all know it. 

But like I said she was sitting on a weird-looking throne somewhat talking to herself. Actually, it was more of a verbal checklist. 

"Now that I have him all I have to do is send my demands to Celestia and I will have what is rightfully mine," She said to herself before looking up to see me standing in the center of the room. "What in the name of, how did you get loose?" 

I tilted my head looking at her not really listening to what she was saying all I could do was stare at her. And I have to say for a bug pony she was actually very attractive. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/53/59/85/535985f9263147f7a6e14405b1716bd8.jpg

I was snapped out of my stooper by the feeling of being pulled up into the air. I looked around to find myself not only floating but upside down in front of Chrysalis.

"How did you get loose those mercenaries were supposed to keep you in that pod now tell me who you really are," Chrysalis screamed at me. "I know for a fact no normal unicorn could have escaped now tell me!" She yelled shaking me.

"Ok ok, I'll tell you but put me down first I'm starting to get dizzy," I tell her now that I'm not in a good mood.

 Putting me on the floor Chrysalis looks at me with, and if you piss me off look I am going to skin you alive look.


"My name is Alex or Star Swirl the Bearded but I like Alex," I said only to receive a look of outright fear on her face.

"That's impossible you can't be him, Star Swirl has been dead for over a thousand years Your lying," She screamed at me.

"Well technically I'm his sort of descendant or reincarnation or something I don't really know but I do know one thing this is all that walking jigsaw puzzle Discords fault and I will hate him till the day I die and I hope a swarm of Parasprites eat his junk off," I said calmly at first then with hatred in my voice. No do you mind telling me what the Buck is going on?"

"Insolent worm how dare you to speak to me in that manner!" Chrysalis yelled raising a hoof to strike me.

But I beat her to it and hit her first. "Hey don't even think about it I don't give a damn who you are if you think I won't hit you because you're a mare then you got another thing coming," I said standing over a now-shocked Changeling Queen.

Rubbing her cheek Chrysalis looked at me in a different way. "I have never had anyone talk to me in that manner I find it exhilarating and I must admit you are quite catching for a reincarnated Star Swirl," Chrysalis said batting her eyes and licking her lips.

"Oh my god she's a masochist wait maybe I can use this," I thought to myself looking at the Changeling Queen differently. "No, it won't be right I may be a pain in the ass but I do have morals."

Shaking my head I look at Chrysalis. "I sorry but I don't feel comfortable about this," I said only to be greeted with sobbing.

"It's because I'm a changeling isn't it?" She asked me between sobs.

Man, now I feel like a total douche bag you know what I'm going to do it. 

"Why did you take me?" I asked her.

"I thought I could use my magic and make you fall in love with me so I could rebuild my hive," She said still sobbing.

"But that wouldn't be real love and what do you mean rebuild your hive?" I said a little confused about the rebuilding part.

She proceeded to tell me everything about the failed invasion the attempt to take over by replacing the Bearers, Tai, and Luna. About Starlight Glimmer and Thorax how after all of that now she is truly alone no hive mind no one at all. And after that, she proceeded to cry once more.

I may be an asshole most of the time but to see my favorite villain sit there beaten down to the point of trying to make somepony love you was just well I couldn't stand it. I know what your thinking she's just acting and all this is fake but there's something about me, you see I have this gift had all my life I call it my BS Detector and it never fails. So I did what I always wanted to do. Placing my hoof under her chin I lifted her up to look me in the eyes and without a second thought, I kissed her on the lips.

Pulling back from me Chrysalis looked at me she still had tear stains on her cheeks but now she wasn't crying, in fact, she was blushing. "Why why did you do that I'm a changeling a monster. I am the most hated creature in all Equestria," She said.  

SMACK

Chrysalis grabbed her cheek once more after I struck her again. "Listen to me Chrysalis you are not a creature or a monster you are beautiful, so you made mistakes, everyone has the only thing now is, do you let them guide your life or take control and forge a future your children would be proud of," I asked only to be globbed and kissed over and over.

Then there was a flash of light and I found myself in a different room this one had a big bed. I looked around to see Chrysalis walk over to the bed and get on it. Putting it next to her she had these come-hither eyes or you could call them to get over here and Buck me till I can't walk straight eyes. Either way, I don't care what you call them all I know is I'm getting SNU-SNU.

I get on to the bed and Chrysalis gets into position and that's where we have the problem. You see when it comes to sex I have no problem doing it with Twilight or Luna being that Luna is about my height and Twi is shorter but when it comes to Celestia. We had to come up with a different way for the two of us and that way is the missionary position. So I had to explain this to Chrysalis and it took her a few minutes to agree but everything turned out alright. FYI Chrysalis was really pissed off to learn that I was in a herd with the three Royals but after an hour of me apologizing with my tongue she forgave me and I told her that I will make it so she was in the herd or there would be no herd. 

We were about to have some fun time when she spoke up." Alex, please be gentle this is my first time and I'm scared," She said with a cute pouting face with scared pleading eyes.

Now I would tell you all the sorted details of our intercourse but, seeing that this story is rated, Teen I can't so I guess you'll have to watch this. I know it deals with humans but it's pretty much the same thing that was happening so enjoy. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5OvgQW6FG4&t=34s&spfreload=10
And yes it happened like that sort of except that me being a pony I have a flared tip and I am a lot longer so to summarize cervix had been penetrated so no loss of sperm and complete fertilization of multiple eggs. 
I think Chrysalis said there were three or four of them. 

So yay me!! I get to start my big family with one of my favorite five.

If you're wondering who the other four are then here's the list. 
Favorite Villian  Chrysalis 
Favorite Pony toss-up between  Derpy, Luna, Twilight, Celestia but since I can't be with Derpy I at least get the others 
Favorite Griffon  Gabby she's just so cute
Favorite Dragon  Toss-up between Ember and Barb
Now enough of this let's get back to this story.

After our cosimation, we settled down for some rest. Don't get me wrong we did talk but it was about simple things. Like what we would name our kids and what would they look like changelings, ponies, or a hybrid of both. As we talked I noticed that the holes in Chrysalis's legs were gone.

I was about to say something when all of a sudden Chrysalis doubled over in pain. 
" Oh Faust what is happing to me it hurts the pain it hurts so much,"  She cried tears falling from her blue eyes. 

"Wait her eyes were green," I thought before she cried again making me pull her into a loving hug.

"Alex, it hurts so much what's happing to me?" She asked crying while she held on to me.

"I don't know, but I'm here and I won't let you go," I said as I watched her black chitin change to a cream color. Seeing all of this I finally realized what was happening.

"Chrysalis I think I know what's going on," I said making her look up at me with hope in her eyes. " But you have to answer me truthfully. Do you love me with all your heart?"

Without any hesitation, Chrysalis kissed me. Yes I do with all my heart I do love you," She said before more pain hit her.

"Then love me because, your transforming like Thorax and the others," I said making her eyes widen in shock. 

After I said that the pain started to lessen. Chrysalis's breathing slowed down but I still held her close to me just in case but everything was getting better. 
After it was over I levitated a mirror over for my Little Bug Queen to see the new her. 
http://img00.deviantart.net/3e26/i/2016/313/1/7/reformed_chrysalis_by_jadedjynx-danwhru.png
"Oh my is that me, I look different, " she said before placing the mirror down and looking at me. 
"Will this make a difference about us not looking like I did?" She asked on the verge of crying.

I just smiled and pulled her into a kiss. 

"Chrysalis, to be honest, I could care less what you looked like I love you as much as I love Celestia, Luna, and Twilight. I know I don't say it much hell I barely ever say it but I do and nothing will ever change how I feel about the four of you." I said only to hear not only Chrysalis but the sound of three extra Mares crying behind me. 

I turn around only to be Glopped by my herd mates. 

"Oh, Alex, we are so glad that we found you," Celestia said as she kissed me.

"Yes you have been gone for three days and nights," Luna said as she too kissed me.

"If it wasn't for that large burst of magic we would have never found you," Twilight said as she joined in the kiss fest only to be interrupted by Chrysalis coughing to get everyponies attention.

I pulled away from the girls to move next to Chrysalis needless to say Tai Luna and Twi were a bit confused.

"Now let me explain and before I do I swear if one of you uses your magic I'll flick your horn," I said looking at all four of them."Tell me how much of what I said did you hear?"

"How much you love us even when you don't say it enough," Luna said trying to move closer to me. 

I put up a hoof stopping her. "Then you didn't hear everything because this pony here happens to be Chrysalis," I said and at that moment all of their horns lit up.

And true to my word I flicked each one canceling out their magic for a few seconds. "Now Listen up I told you I would do that so now just calm down and listen to me," I said looking really pissed at what they tried to do.

"But Alex you don't know her she could be using her magic to trick you she a monster," Celestia said right before I slapped her face.

"Don't ever say that again the only monsters I see are you three right now," I said as I reach for Celestia only for her to flinch. I'm sorry Tai I really am but your wrong Chrysalis has changed just look at her, "I said feeling bad about what I did. 

Goddamit what the hell's wrong with me I use to be more of an ass but now I'm started to care more am I really becoming a puss, No No it's got to be this place it's screwing with my emotions. But I never stuck a woman before well only when they hit me first but not like this. Do I really love these four mares..... Yeah, I guess I do.

"I know you have no reason to trust me but I promise you I will not try anything or harm any of you and I hope you will believe and trust me as well," Chrysalis said as she rubbed her stomach where the foals were.

"Tell me why do you do that?" Luna asked pointing to where Chrysalis's hoof was.

Before she could answer a golden light passed over her Celestia gasped at what her magic had shown her.

"Chrysalis is with foals sister and Alex is the father," Celestia said making the other two look at us shocked.

"But how, why would you do this," Twilight asked on the verge of crying.

"Because I love her as much as I love all of you and she loves me the same way, Hell look at her Twi she changed because of it," I said rubbing my hoof on Twilights cheek.

Twilight pulled back from me the look on her face was almost unreadable she started to pound on my chest still crying. " We were so worried about you that the Spell for our Estrus broke down and I'm mad at you because she gets to have your children first."

Shaking my head I pull her into a hug and kissed her. "Hey, that doesn't mean a thing besides if the three of you are in heat that means I get to start my family with all of you right now," 

"Please Twilight I know you have no reason to trust me but what Alex says is true I do love him and I will even accept being the lowest member of the herd if you will let me stay," Chrysalis asked as she made her way over to Twilight with pleading eyes.

That would not work for the reason is we do not have a lead mare and we never wanted one so you would be equal to us Chrysalis but know this you will be on probation until we trust you," Celestia and Luna said to her.

Nodding her head Chrysalis smiled at them. "Thank you all of you and I swear I will do my best for this herd," She said looking at each of them even Twilight was coming around.

I cleared my throat to get their attention. " I know this is great and all but I believe I have three mares that are in need of their stallion due to Estrus," I said as I gestured to the bed to which all four girls used the magic to levitated me to the center and they all gathered around.

"Oh our dear Alex you do not know the can of worms you have opened, I'm afraid we will not be leaving this bed for quite some time,"  Celestia said with a very devilish grin which all the girls mimicked.

I could only think of one thing.  If I'm going to die I'll die happy. And with that, my memories of that week in bed were a blur but here's the good news I now have four lovely mares pregnant. here's the kicker Chrysalis is carrying four hybrids Celestia and Twilight are carrying one each and Luna has twins. And don't worry we set the date for the wedding to next month we just have to find a way to tell Equestria about Chrysalis joining the herd and being pregnant. You know what screw it if nobody likes it to hell with them. 

This is my family and comes hell or high water I will protect them even if I have to go Teirek or Sombra on their asses.



 
> THE SIXTH CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 You know the old saying time flies when you're having fun. Well, that's not what happened to me, it was slower than a dead snail and as boring as listening to paint dry and yes I said listening to drying paint. Let me tell you why I said this. It is now one month after my little sexcapade with my now four herd mates and all of them are pregnant. And in another three weeks, we will be having a wedding but that's, not the problem or should I say problems. The first was when Shining Armor found out about Chrissy he wanted to, well let's just say nopony threatens the mother of my unborn children and gets away with it. That reminds me I have to go visit him in the hospital later today. 

But like I said there were some problems another one was the citizens were a little scared about Chrissy but with the help from Tai, Luna Twi, Cadance, and even Thorax put their minds were put at ease. Another problem was since the girls are pregnant the doctor told them to take it easy for a while. Which means no stress for a least a week meaning I had to do their jobs. The paperwork wasn't so bad, use to do that kind of stuff back on Earth but day and night court were so boring most of the time. 

Why do these nobles think just because they have money and a position that gives them the right to think they can have anything they want. For example, one stallion showed up wanting or I should say demanding to have a park next to his home plowed over because every day lower-income families would go there. I found out from Quick Quill that this park was one of three that had a public swimming pool instead of a pond. 

I shut the guy up by telling him if he wanted the park gone he'd have to pay for it himself which would cost close to Eight Hundred Thousand Bits. Oh, get this the guy's name was Highen Mighty, yeah I know that's what I thought too. Needless to say, he didn't like the idea and left in a huff oh well can't please them all.  Most of the time things were going fine I did have some nice chats with the common ponies about this and that but then the problems would come up again. One being I think I may have started or prevented a war. 

Before you freak out let me explain I was in the throne room getting ready for lunch when the doors flew open and in walked a dignitary and his entourage. They all looked like Raindeer to me but I found out they were the Caribou. But anyways he walked right up to me looking down at me because he was just a little taller the Tai and with a smug grin demanded that I pay a tribute of Five Thousand Mares to the Caribou including the Royals or they would invade and take all the Mares. From what I heard the Caribou treated all females as sex slaves. So take a deep breath and looking around the room I rose to my full height and went all Leonidas from 300 on his ass. I didn't kick him into a pit but I did teleport him and all but one of his men to the dungeons where they are still receiving forced Colonoscopies from their cellmates.

Looking at the one that remained I walked up to him with a devilish grin. " I want you to go back and tell whoever is in charge if he wants a war then he will not only be fighting Equestria but the Crystle Empire, Yakyakistan, the Griffon Kingdom, the Dragonlands, the Changeling Kingdom, and every Ally we have. And I'll make Bucking sure that we won't take prisoners." I said as I turned to one of the guards nodding to have them take this trash out of my sight. 

After he was gone I quickly ordered messages sent to all of Equestria Allies of the possibility of what might happen. Hoping that it would never come to it. Then I had the hard part of telling the girls what happened. You know what nope I'm not going to tell them anything. The doctors said not to stress for a while and that's what's going to happen no stress.

Unfortunately for me, I found out some of the guards are nothing more than plot kissing tattletales. Not an hour after the Caribou thing did I have Tai, Luna, Twi, and Crissy all yelling at me about how stupid I was and well I didn't hear the rest of it as I just teleported out of there and made a beeline for the train station. What the hell with it if they want to yell do it to each other I don't have to put up with this Horseapples. And you don't have to worry about me I learned a few tricks while I was here one being a disguise spell. Yep, right now I look like your average Unicorn tourist heading home after visiting Canterlot even got a set of saddlebags to complete the look. Now the only thing is where do I want to go for some me-time.

I did the only thing I could think of I flipped a coin heads I went north to Manehatten or tails south to Ponyville. You don't know how hard I wanted it to be heads but fate was not with me. So here I am in Manehatten yep screw fate, screw the stupid coin toss, and screw Ponyville besides that would be the first place they'd look for me. 
I just have a few questions why are Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity here, and who's the pony in the dress? But more importantly, do I still have to have Pinkie throw me a part oh never mind she spotted me.

"Hi, Pinkie what are you doing here, and who's your friend? " I said waving as the Pinkie monster ran over to me.    

"Hiya Alex, we're here helping Rarity with her store and this is our good friend Coco Pammel," She said as she pulled the mare closer to her.

"Hey wait a sec why are you here and not with Twilight and the others?" Dash said hovering over to me.

I looked from her to the others thanking whoever that they haven't heard about what happened yet smiling internally. "I'm here on some personal business and let's leave it at that," I said glancing over to the living lie detector.

"Well for whatever reason you are here we couldn't be happier Darling," Rarity said turning the conversation away from me.

"Yay I get to throw you a party now!" Pinkie yells out.

"Yeah, I guess you do Pinkie but could we keep it small?"  I asked her only to get her to smile at me.

"That's good and all but how about we get what we came here to do first?"  Applejack said as she turned to head off in the direction they were heading in the first place.

Deciding it was best just to go along with them I gestured for them to lead on. We walked through the city and as Rarity was talking to Coco I was marveling at the way Manehatten looked so much like New York. There were subtle differences like less traffic and not as much garbage but some of the ponies were rude so there was that. During our walk, I found out that the girls were here so Rarity could check up on her store while Rainbow Dash could help the Wonderbolts for a charity event. Applejack came to see her relatives the Oranges and Pinkie were here for more party supplies. I was thankful that they were only going to be here for today seeing as just Rarity and Rainbow Dash had things to do.  

"So Alex how's it been?" Rainbow asked me.

I knew she just wanted to know why I was here instead of back in Caterlot with Twilight, Celestia, and the others especially since they're all pregnant now. 

"SSDD," I said making her look at me. " Same stuff different day," I said making her nod.

We made it to Rarity's store and standing in front of the door was this stallion. I could tell just by looking at him, I didn't like him.

"Why Mr. Strides what brings you here rent is not due till next week?" Rarity asked in a skittish tone.

"Yes that is why I am here rent will be raised," Strides said in a Russian accent. 

"But, but, but, how can you do this?' Rarity said as tears were forming in her eyes.

"My building I do what I want you no pay you to leave," He said looking down at her.

I know I should have stayed out of it but the guy was being a bigger jerk than me and I could not let that happen honor and that stuff. So I cleared my throat and walked up to him smiling.
"Excuse me I am Ms. Rarity Belles Siliciter from the Law Firm of Ima Shyster and I must inform you that according to Equestrian laws of rental agreements articles 22, 34, 36 subsections 7 through 12 clearly state that you can not raise rent without notifying the renter thirty days in advance and you must give a reasonable reason to do so," I said making him look at me before I continued. "Furthermore if your reason is not valid in the eyes of the law I will be forced to take legal actions against you which will most likely end up in you losing," I said pulling him close to me so I could whisper in his ear in a deep and foreboding voice. " If you don't back off I'll make sure they'll never find your body."

Hearing that he turned to look at the evil psycho grin I was giving him.
https://orig10.deviantart.net/15a9/f/2009/072/6/4/64d4c4ee4854b3ca1b8c79b081bd4a0d.jpg 

Shaking himself loose he looked from me to Rarity swallowing hard. "I change mind rent stays the same forever," He said before he turned and hurried away. 

Before I knew it I was hugged by both Rarity and Coco both thanking me for helping them.

"Thank you, darling, but the Law Firm of Ima Shyster really now that was a bit much don't you think?" Rarity asked as she stepped away from me.

"It worked didn't, besides the guy was breaking the law," I said shrugging my shoulders.

After that and the look Applejack gave me for lying Rarity and Coco finished up what they need to do at the shop much to the relief of Rainbow Dash who kept reminding us about the event she was going to be part of. We left there and made our way to the show to see the Wonderbolts. If you've seen the Blue Angels then you know what went on although Rainbow Dash did do her Sonic Rainboom so I got to see what the hype was all about and it was pretty cool I will admit.  

We waited for  Rainbow to finish the show and sign autographs before Pinkie cried out it was party time. True to her word she kept it small. We went to a club where we had a few drinks and danced. It was an okay party but to be honest, at that moment I won't of minded one of her normal ones. I guess I was feeling a little bad about leaving the girls like that. Anyways after the party, I escorted the girls to the train station and said goodbye before I returned to the city.

All of that happened two weeks ago and I'm still in Manehatten staying at a small motel. Keeping a low profile and passing the time as a lounge performer. Don't laugh because that's what I did back on earth while I was in college. Luckily for me, the club we partied at the owner also owned a bar so it was luck of the draw. But I was making a decent living at it, actually playing music was one of the three things I truly loved. The others are my mares and our kids and being a jerk to those who deserve it. I just finish playing Piano Man by Billy Joel when I looked over at the door and saw them, Celestia, Luna, Chrysalis, and Twilight standing there. I signaled to the bartender to get them a table. When that was done I called for the other musicians to come on stage and told them what was up.

I turned back to face the audience clearing my throat. " Mares and Gentle Colts thank you now I would like to sing a song this one is very special to me because it can only be a song from the heart and I hope that four very special mares out there know it's how I truly feel," I said before I signaled for the music to start.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGJTaP6anOU

After the song, I bowed to the applause before I walked off stage to the table of four pairs of tear-filled-eyed Mares that I truly loved.

"Before you say anything let me just say this I'm sorry for leaving but when you were upset I didn't want to say something to make things worse so I just ran away like an idiot," I said looking at all of them. But I never stopped thinking about all of you and our foals this whole time so you can be mad at me all you want but know that I will always love you." 

I lowered my head waiting for them to say something but instead I was tackled to the floor and pulled into a group hug as they all kissed me.

"We should apologize for what had happened we knew you were not ready for something like that," Celestia said as she rubbed my cheek.

"Yes dealing with those Caribu should have been put on hold until all of us were there," Luna added as she kissed my lips.

"There was good news though the Dragons and Griffons did send two battalions each to help if they did try to invade," Chrysalis said after she kissed me. 

"They even said they would follow your instructions of not taking prisoners whatever that means," Twilight added looking as adorkable as always.

"Thank you and I promise I do things differently from now on," I said as they all looked at me a little bit angry.

"No, you will not we love you for who you are faults and all if you make a mistake we'll let you know and if you just want to go away and be alone then that's alright too," They all said to me.

I smiled as I looked at them then I remembered something important turning to the stage I looked back at them. Hold on I got something for you be right back," I said as I got to the stage grabbing my saddlebags. Returning to them I was looking through the bag for the presents I got for them while I was here. Setting down the saddlebags I pulled out a small pink cloth pouch wrapped with a gold chain. 

"Now I know it's kind of mute but, "I started to say dropping down kneeling to them. "I am not nor have I ever been the perfect guy I'm rude crude and I say things that nopony would ever saw but there is one thing I do know for damn sure and that is I love all of you with all my heart and soul so will you do this uncouth pain in the plot the honor of marrying me?" I said as I levitated four rings out of the pouch and placed them on each of th mare's horns.

I looked at them as tears poured from their eyes worrying if I screwed this up only for all of them to scream yes and tackle me again. I kissed each of them with the passion of a love drunk fool. Which is pretty bad for me only to be reminded by the bartender I still had, one more number to play. Thinking about it I knew the right one so I kissed the girls one more time and heading back to the stage.

Mares and Gentelcolts I'm sure you already know what just happened so I ain't going bore you so all I ask is that my four lovely mares make their way closer to the stage cause this song's fun and I'd love to see them shack their flacks," I said only to get whistles and hoots for them to move up.

When they did I smiled down at them and started to sing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf2VYAtqRe0

After the song, I bowed once more before jumping off the stage and grabbing my saddlebags before the girls no my wives and I left to head for the station to go home. We boarded the train in the royal car and I watched as each of them settled down on a very big bed. All of them looking at me with bedroom eyes. With what was in front of me all I could think about was our future together.

"Are you coming to bed it's a long ride back to Canterlot," Chrysalis said licking her lips.  

"I will but there's just one more thing I got to do first," I said as I concentrated and on cue that magic music began to play.  



After the song, I climbed into the bed and made love to each of my mares as the train made its way back home.

On a side note, I did figure out what I'm going to do to Discord when I see him again. 
Here's a heads up I hope he loves RULE63. 

Mawhahahahahahahah
> THE SEVENTH CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, I'm back in Caterlot and things are going as expected four pregnant mares with extreme mood shifts. The best part of that was when a jerk noble tried to speak and not just one but all of them wanted the stallion's head on a pike I never seen anything move that fast in my life. Oh, if your wondering about my thing with the dragons and griffons well see when we got home that night I received not the girls but for me, a letter from a small town on the Equestrian border. It seems that a large group of Caribou I think it said around two hundred tried to invade the town. But was stopped by thirty dragons who according to the letter had taken up residence in the hills just outside of town. Well, to keep it short the townponies are grateful for the dragon's help even with how they protected them and the Mayor was asked by the dragons to relay a message to me with one request SEND MORE BAR-B-QUE SAUCE.   

As for my revenge on Discord that snake was a lot tougher to corner than I thought but I got him or should I say her. Yep, you read it right Discord the Lord of Chaos is now Eris the Lady of Chaos. Unfortunately during my revenge I kind of sort of maybe turned a few of the guards, maids, and Blue Blood into the opposite genders. But I got my revenge so I'm happy or I was for like ten minutes. Yeah, I had to change him back even though it was fun as hell to see him/her try to walk around with double F cup boobs and a badonkadonk the best part of it was when a few of the Guards were throwing out catcalls. But like I said I changed him back and he did take it in stride. He told me that was the best prank he has ever seen and all the chaos I made trying to get him was the sweetest he ever felt. Though he did ask me to keep Blue Blood like that for a while as punishment for how he treated Rarity at the Gala before. To be honest I think he looks better this way but what do you think am I right or not.
 
Or is this more to your liking. 

That's what I thought so Blue Blood is now Blue Belle.

Besides, most if not all of the stallion guards have been asking me all about my niece. The one who has been missing for some time to just mysterious turn-up. I mean they wouldn't stop with the questions like whats' her favorite food, dessert, music, perfume. Stuff like that even Celestia and the others were getting tired of it so we all agreed to a contest. And when I say we all agreed I mean Blue was against it.

The contest was for the next forty-eight hours who so ever can get Blue Belle cornered and then mount her depositing their sperm inside her womb shall be her stallion for all time or mare for that matter. See I might have given some Fillyfoolers or mares that like the same sex a spell that can turn them into a, well um, dick chicks so they at least have the same shot as the guys.

So for the next two days, Blue better watch her back figuratively and literally. Yes, I know what we had done to this unfortunate stallion/mare is evil and heartless but hey we got to have a little fun sometimes. So who better to use as our target to release our frustration on than the one who makes it so easy.

Other than that, things have been going smoothly really smoothly to the point of becoming dull. I use to like to just stay home and read but now I just feel like I have way too much energy and if I sit for too long I'll explode. The only time I don't feel that way is when I'm playing or listening to music. Oh, and about the reading part let's just say the Canterlot and Twilights Libraries have been gone through by me every single book even Spikes comics. Speaking of books I did tell Velvet and her editor all the stories I could remember I even told them some older people or ponies ones. The Hobbit, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, actions like Jaws, Jurrasic Park a bunch of Stephen King some classics like Gone with the Wind, Wizard of Oz, even some mysteries all in all I think with stories and books they now have close to or more than two hundred all total. I did make them Pinkie Promise to keep the real Author for each one which they agreed.   

As for Night Light and his rocket idea, it took Twilight, a team of Unicorn Guards, and her threatening that he will never get to see his grandfoal to get him away from what could have been his death. Let me explain see Night was using an old industrial building to work in and the first thing he made was the fuel for his rocket. Luckily the place was abandoned because sometime during the night the fuel ignited and the place was destroyed so were all the windows in a ten-block area. So from now on Night Light is not allowed to work on his rocket without adult supervision, Velvet's orders.

But enough about that let me tell you something a little more interesting see today is Saturday and according to the schedule, Saturday is the day of our wedding. It's not going to be a big one just friends and family. I flat out refused to have a big event like Shinings and Cadance's for two reasons first was I really hate large crowds and second I'm still an asshole so screw the public though I did say a couple of reporters could come for the newspapers but that was it. 

Unfortunately, the family part bit me in the plot see Chrysalis's family was the entire Changeling hive so having four hundred brightly colored bugs there was a pain. And it turns out that even if I'm not technically Star Swirl I still have family here. Thank you, Twilight, and your hobby on genealogy so I had to invite them mostly just to see how Twilight would act when she found out who they were. Lyra Heartstring, Moon Dancer, Starlight Glimmer, Sunset Shimmer, and Trixie Lulamoon, the last ones, she had trouble with. But quadruple checking it turned out correct I am technically the Great Grandfather X 10 or something of all of them. It turns out that the Bearded One and his student Clover the Clever got drunk one night and bowchickawowwow. Eleven months later she had five, count them five colts each the direct ancestor of the five mares. The one named Trixie tried to act all uppity to Twilight saying stuff about being my relation until I told her that she and Twili would be related and that shut her up. As for Sunset Shimmer, I could tell that mare had some issues of being here first she walked about as good as a foal sometimes and what tipped it off was how she spoke using everyone, or anyone, not everypony or anypony.  

So it turns out Sunset lives in a human world of Equestria and I know all of you are thinking hey I bet you went there for your honeymoon right, WRONG. I did go there but came right back yeah it turns out you become a human version of your ponyself, and I ain't looking like Dumbledore so forget it.

So here we are standing at the Altar having Cadance presiding over the ceremony the girls all looking lovely in their wedding Dresses and me in my tuxedo. We had just exchanged vows and rings when all of a sudden aliens crash through the windows and attack. 
Nah, I just kidding it went about as much as you'd expect it to go. There was some crying mostly by Shining but the girls also had tears and it made them even more beautiful. With everything done and saying the I Do's, Cadance was happy to introduce us as, Stallion and Herd. 

Now I would like to say we had a nice normal reception but we are talking about Equestria and Pinkie Pie and nothing is normal about either one. I did get to do one thing though and that was to have a flash mob and it only took for me to sing one song. 



Everypony had a ball especially Pinkie but I knew Celestia and the others weren't in the best way for something like that so I decided to slow it down and had Applejack's friend Rara sing a song for us to dance to, one I knew they would love and I was right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3QAqZQYLIQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3QAqZQYLIQ

During our dance, I told each of them just how much I truly loved them and they told me the same thing but giving me a kiss as well and I have to say for a natural-born asshole I couldn't find one cynical or condescending thing to say amazing, isn't it? I think I'm losing my touch but then again I did spike the punch with some of Luna's personal Moonshine so maybe I might not be an ass but I'm still a jerk. FYI Luna's shine is so strong a pint can put a full-size dragon on his rear and that was just the amount I used so if you consider a ponies size and how much they've been drinking punch I would say in five four three two one. 

"Yee Haa let's get this party started," A voice cried out that even surprised me as it came from Fluttershy.

Maybe I should have used a little less but you can't make an omelet without yadda, yadda. Well, maybe not now you go mare shake that rump, to no music ok that pore filly is sloshed does somepony want to get her some water.

After getting yelled at by almost every mare we decided to cut our losses, which meant the girls were getting tired and horny but not in that order damn pregnancy hormones but I can't complain. 

Oh, the little contest we had well it's over, yeah, turns out Blue was caught right after the ceremony and she as in Blue Belle doesn't really mind it. If your wondering who the lucky guy was well it wasn't a guy yep her name is Echo Location she's a Batpony if the name was any clue. She's one of the mares who got the weenie spell cast on them, she even said she wanted to keep it, and to make Belle happy she wanted her to have one as well. Her words "why should Belle have all the fun of carrying the foals when they're both able to do it".

I had to stop Twilight from even suggesting what she was going to say about that by saying and I quote" I will not nor have I ever thought that was a good idea for me, so drop it right now or I'm sleeping on the couch" unquote.

Not even those hellish puppy dog eyes would even work so she gave up. As for Blue Belle, she did get her revenge on me with a well-placed buck to the face so after the honeymoon I have to go to the dentist and get two new front teeth. 

So as I was saying things are dull around here. Oh, there was a little problem with the Dimond dogs but that ended without too much bloodshed. See the lead dogs found out what a Vet does for a living. (Insert evil laugh)

Now I'm just sitting here in the throne room contemplating the universe actually I'm trying to keep myself from killing all of these stupid nobles. My God can these people um ponies just stop and think for once. The world does not revolve around them the only good thing to happen is when Fancy Pants come to visit. The stallion may have a funny name but at least he is somepony I can stand. Come to think of it he tends to show up just when I'm about to go Game of Thrones on these morons. 

So here I sit doing my duty it's a big duty and it really stinks but enough of the crappy jokes. I look around the room and it's a big frickin room and I see the clock now I know how to get out of this.  

"Royal Scribe, Pray tell, what is the time?" I ask Quick Quill one of the only thousands of mare that don't like me for some reason.

She looks up at me rolling her eyes before looking at the clock on her desk. "It is five minutes after nine, sir," she said emphasizing the hate in the word sir. 

Still don't know what I did or why she hates me, oh well.

Standing up with a shocked expression I yelled out. " Five after nine, five after nine dear God we're missing Second Breakfast. "I nearly scream as I rush down the steps. " Come Q2, you as well Fancy Feast," I say as I use my magic to levitate Quick Quill into the air behind me while I gesture for Fancy Pants to follow.

Fancy Pants chuckles as he follows me only saying "Of course my lard," In a deep comical voice.

Like I said he's one of the only nobles I like. As we made our way through the halls totally ignoring the cries from the throne room as well as from Quick Quill. We walked until we came upon the open doors to the dining room only to stop in our tracks. For sitting at the table were my four pregnant and hormonal did I mention they were hormonal wives and they just eating talking and eating. This piqued my curiosity enough for me to lose control of my magic to drop Quick Quill who took the time to hit me in the head before bolting out of there. I looked over to see even Fancy had considered leaving was possibly the safest idea.

I walk into the room, clearing my throat. "So what brings you four lovelies here," Asking as I took my seat.

"It's nine-o-clock time for second breakfast," Luna said as if was common knowledge.

"But how," Was all I could say before Crissy answered.

"Sometimes you talk in your sleep especially after some really good bucking thank you by the way," She said smiling.

"Alex is there really a thing called second breakfast," Twilight asked me while still stuffing her face with waffles.     

"Oh yeah, now let me see there's breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, lunch, linner, dinner, dupper, and supper," I said looking like I was trying to remember. "Oh almost forgot there's also the midnight munchies," I said looking proud.

"Come on, you made those up, it sounds like your just lazy," She said looking at me with calculative eyes while pointing her waffle-filled fork at me.  

There was a flash of light around me before I told her to read the shirt.



A few seconds later there was a steady noise of thud come from the room. We look around only to see Twilight banging her head on the table. Repeating the same phrase over and over.

"Why, why do I even bother,"

I sit there smiling thinking life is good, now what do I want to eat.
> THE EIGHTH CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, it's me again, you know the guy stuck as a bearded pony married to four hot-looking mares. Well, I thought today I'd talk about Pinkie Pie and it has nothing to do with her standing right next to me. Now, this mare is not what you would consider normal in fact normal and Pinkie are like oil and water. But there are some good things about her. First, she can cook and I mean that from the bottom of my stomach. The second thing is she's really good at pranks and as you know pranks are my stress relief well one of them the second is none of your bucking beeswax, man I miss cursing. Third, on the list is when I get pissed, I threaten to invite Pinkie over and Twilight shuts right up in fact everyone stops talking.

So here we are Pinkie standing next to me with the biggest smile on her face and a canon at her hip. Yes, I invited Pinkie here for a party and what party you may ask but one of the most important ones ever. With a thunderous boom, confetti flying everywhere, cakes pies treats neatly placed on a table with a banner hanging over it which reads ROYAL BABY SHOWER.

What you thought I’d do something mean to four very pregnant mares am I that heartless “Don’t Answer That Pinkie”. No the reason I’m doing this is that this morning we went for their magical ultrasounds which are like normal ultrasounds but with magic as Twilight would say. Truthfully the difference is instead of a machine and monitors there's a unicorn with what looks like a wire coming out of his plot connected to a big mirror, and I just know you’re all just dying to know what we’re having so go-ahead well why aren’t you dying? Fiiiine ruin my fun you bunch of plotholes and not in a good way. Anyway here's the big news drum roll, please.
 
Thank you, Pinkie. We the royal family would like to announce to you peasants, wait, what? 

“Mumble mumble mumble.” Voice of one of the mares off to the side.

“What do you mean I can’t call them peasants?”

“MUMBLE MUMBLE MUMBLE!” The angry voice of more than one of the mares off to the side. 

“FIIIINE, I mean all of you nice ponies here is the big news. 
Tai and Twi are having a colt each, Luna is having twin fillies, and Cissy is having fraternal twins a colt and filly.”

So after hearing this, me being the reasonable and responsible adult that I am, I had declared by law that all stallions were to be gelded immediately to protect the virtues of my daughters and the mares to have their ho-hos sewn shut. And what did I get for trying to protect our little girls and boys I ask you, well I’ll tell you, I GOT SENT TO MY ROOM! Can you believe it and all I wanted to do was protect my, Oh heck who am I kidding, I just wanted to scare the poop out of the nobles, Man I Really Miss Cursing. 

So here I am walking around the city, what you really think I just do what they said please if you had been reading this story then you don’t know me very well. So as I was saying I was walking around the city just minding my own business checking out the shops and bars mostly the bars. When I was confronted by two of the worst sights ever Jet Set and Upper Crust. You remember those two the recently bald pair any way I come face to bald-face with them and it was like an old Spaghetti Western although I will admit the music was pretty cool, but the tumbleweed was just too much.


“So we meet again, for the first for the last time, Skid Mark and Crusty Undies,” 

“It’s Jet Set and Upper Crust you vile monstrosity!” One of them yelled. 
And to be honest I can’t tell you who they both looked the same.

“Hey, hey do I stand there and insult you like that I don’t think so?”

You just did by calling us the wrong name.” The other one said. 
Seriously I can’t tell them apart.  

“Well, maybe but I just want today one thing,” 

“Oh yeah, and what's that?” Still can’t tell which ones which.

Taking a deep breath. “I just want to say... WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUAST IS THAT!!! ” Screaming as I point behind them.

And just like the morons, they are they turn and look, and I do my best impression of Jessie Owens and the Road Runner. 

So here I am back in the castle, and this time I’m locked in my room with guards outside under orders to ignore me. Do they think this will stop me or deter me from my quest I say neigh! (Insert horse joke here) For I will find the best means of annoying the populace of this world even if I have to get Discord to help me, wait, was that what I wanted to do, or did I want to find a bar to celebrate finding out we were having six kids? 
GOD, I MISS CURSING!!!
> THE NINETH CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh dear god or whatever deity that existed here the horror, the horror!

Do any of you know what happens to a pregnant woman or mare whatever you want to call them, two things happen first their hormones are off the charts their either happy and horny or PYSCHO and the second thing is you lose the right to use your bathroom, in fact, any bathroom you’re near. All because some small thing inside them is pressing down on their bladders. Oh, don’t let me forget to mention the gas, yes gas, I think it’s from all the weird stuff they keep eating. Who in their right mind would put catsup on vanilla ice cream with brussels sprouts or broccoli? I’m surprised with all the gas escaping, there were no explosions near any torches when they walked by them. I tried to recommend that the guards start wearing gas masks or hazmat suits but four hooves to the back of the head, shot down that idea.

So here I am with an oversized clothespin on my nose as I sit in the throne room with my four beautiful, sexy, buckable pregnant wives as they each lean over to the side and let one rip. The reason I am here and not in my room anymore is as of now I am not allowed to go anywhere or do anything without adult supervision. 
It's not my fault that those four don’t see the prospects of innovation! 
I mean it was just a small explosion and nopony got hurt much, ok maybe some scrapes and bruises there might have been a few ruptured eardrums and maybe just maybe an old pony might have had a heart attack but it was a small one and he’s fine now though every time there a loud noise he flitches or dives under something. 

Let me explain what happened it was three days ago and I was sent to my room again but I got out of it by saying that I had an idea that could help Equestria in a monumental way. This got them interested and they allowed me some room to work but I had to promise not to kill any nobles or at least not get caught. So with my freedom, I went to find some gullible, I mean smart ponies to help me make HISTORY! 

“Um, sir what are we going to do again, and more importantly do the princess know?” One guy asked as we made our way to a big room full of ingredients.

“Of course my minions otherwise I would be in my room again,”

“But sir you didn’t tell us what we’re doing,” Minion number two asked.

“We are going to revolutionize Equestria, doesn’t that sound fun?” I say with a maniacal laugh.

I think the laugh got to them because they started to back away slowly but with some uni magic, I just lifted the four of them in the air to follow me.

Now, first minions, we need 75% potassium nitrate known as saltpeter or saltpetre 15% softwood charcoal, and 10% sulfur then we need glycerol treated with nitric and sulphuric acid after that we take and mix it all together with sawdust and stuff it in some red tubes mark TNT and then we will create blasting caps with wicks and Voila revolutionary Equestria,” I said skipping over a few things due to it being illegal for the public namely you readers.

“Um, sir, may I ask what this all will do when we complete it?” Minion number three asked, man I should learn their names.

“It will blow your mind, among other things, but your mind nonetheless,”

So for the next few days I and my minions, man I really need to learn their names someday. Began our work it took some failers but in the end, we had done it, We had given Dynamite to ponies and after some time to think about what I just did it was kind of like giving a child the nuclear launch codes. Eh, who cares this is going to be fun, or it would have been if not for one of my loyal minions to stab me in the back and tell the womenfolk. 

“Alex for the love of all please tell us why, why would you make something like this?” Celly the party pooper asked pointing to twenty large boxes all mark TNT danger highly explosive.

“Well it would have been a surprise, but somepony lost his nutsack and squealed,” I said looking at my former minion number three.

“You call something that can destroy the castle and cause an untold number of deaths a surprise?” Luna asked as she had a hoof to her face.

“No, of course not, I was going to let the dragons drop a few crates on the Caribou capital city and after the untold number of deaths then I was going to say surprise,” I told her matter of factly.

Without a word, the four of them turned and walked away but not before four different color magics surrounded me lifting me off the ground and pulling me behind them. Once we were in the throne room I was dropped into my seat and told to stay before they took their own and resumed court. I felt like I was cheated and made my complaints heard loudly and with as much swearing as this world would let me. Only to be met with the ungodly sounds of flatulence thus why I am wearing the clothespin. During this, I just sat there and pondered was it all worth it the pain, and anguish of all those Noballs to become the king of annoyance? then I look at my four wives pregnant beautiful sexy and did I say sexy wives that love me even with the hell I put them through and the answer is that they are completely insane to be with me but dam it’s worth it, now all I need is to get my hooves on that pink plot of Cadance to complete my set maybe I use that gender spell on rusty aluminum after all the more the MAREier it is.

“Alex what are you thinking about now,” Crissy asked feeling my emotions.

“Oh, just how horrible my life would be without all of you in it,” I answered only to read Crissy’s lips saying “I’ll help you”.
> THE TENTH CHAPTER
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, sweet Jebus yes, I got it a Full House I finally fulfilled one of my greatest dreams and all it cost me was one week of my wives hating my guts well Twili mostly, and two weeks stay in the hospital for a ruptured nutsack, but that doesn’t matter now for I have done it. Wait a minute Crissy helped me and yet she is allowed to get off scot-free shows its totally a mare-driven society, we stallions get no respect. But that doesn’t matter as I said I did it.

The first part of my plan was to get Crissy’s help because let's face it everything I come up with I get busted before it’s finished.



Please ignore the princess of merchandise in the bottom left corner she doesn't come around until later and I do mean later.



Let me explain everything with Gleaming Shield formerly named Shining Armor, well you see he was always open to new ideas about well everything that dealt with sex, I mean you tell him skydiving is a great way to get laid then he'd do it. So when I cast the Rule 63 spell on him and proceeded to mount him I mean her, she had nothing bad to say about it in fact Gleaming had only positive things to say, most were heard during the time I was pounding away before I deposited a very large load inside her very fertile and ovulating womb the deed was done and Shining Armor no longer existed as Captian Gleaming Shield came into the picture. As for the rupture nutsack, I got that from Gleaming when she found out she was pregnant and couldn't be turned back to a stallion until the birth of the foal well not really the doctor said the foal will need its mother's milk for the first year and a half then it can taper off until the foal is weaned. So when Gleaming heard this I got a ruptured nutsack for my troubles and one more mare to my collection. 

Now Cadance she was another matter altogether as the Princess of love she could feel the love I had for well anyone and today was one for the books she felt me with my herd and all the love that is felt. She just didn't feel the stallion behind her when the attack happened but she did feel when I rushed to her aid and subdued the stallion who was just looking for some bits is all. Now that I did the Batman thing and swoop in to save her we got to talking more openly, and what I found out was grade A tabloid material.

"I just don't understand why, he just cares more about being captain of the guard than spending time with me. I mean we haven't even done it yet and we've been married for over half a year." Turning around she lifted her tail and showed me her well marebits. " Half a year and he hasn't touched this, is there something wrong with it does it look weird? I would give anything to feel what it's like to have a stallion fill me up and just Buck Me Senseless."

Hearing this I formulated a plan with Crissy, we had one of our many cockroaches I will not call something that is that brightly colored in pastels a Changeling.


I mean Changelings are supposed to look all menacing look and scary.



But I will admit that the little ones are kind of cute but that's the only thing they got going for them.




Ok, we're sidetracking here back to the main story, of Cadence showing me her bits, her nice soft untouched bits.

I had a very devious smile on my face when Cadance wasn't looking till she turned back to look at me with concern about her marriage with Armor. I gave her a hug and reassured her, we would figure this out even though Crissy and I already knew the answer, here's a hint Shining like to polish his armor a little too much, No, how about there's a really good reason his shield spell is that color. 
You know what forget it Shining Armor is GAY, yes he bats for the other team, he is looking for a few good men, he's a colt cuddler, He's Gay G. A. Y. Gay. 
How did I know this, well remember the roach sent to spy on the armored one you see he got stuck in one of the lockers for a good hour as Shining had one of his subordinates try shoving his, um, ah, sword in Shining sheath repeatedly. Yeah so with this info we made a plan first console Caddie to the point she agrees to let me "help her" with that pesky little problem of hers and I will say tapping five yes I said five virgins is every guy's dream come true. The bonus is when we got to the problem it seemed that Cadance had gone into Estris so when I plucked her cherry I also deposited my own seed in her orchard. 
For those who are brain dead, I bucked her, took her virginity, and got her pregnant.
The pregnancy part did make her a little mad and I still don't understand why though because every time I said I was close she kept saying release inside her and not to do something after that I think.
As for Shining, it took all of my, I mean our cunny to get him to agree to the set-up, I mean a little test. See we got shining to walk in on our supposed argument where Crissy said the best guards were the stallions seeing as they were bigger and stronger. To where I said the mares were better as they were smaller making them faster and harder to hit and they had the more powerful need to protect than stallions did seeing as they were all born and barely any brains.
This caught Shining interest and we "decided" to put forth a challenge where Shining would be turned to a mare with my patented Rule 63 spell and see if he/she could do the same job as she/he did before he/she even agreed to be in Estris during the challenge. Two days it took just two days before the now named Gleaming Sheild to come running to me and beg for me to buck her until she was with foal, and as the gentleman or stallion that I am, I did just that.
It was only after all of this did they realize it was a trick by Crissy and me to get them to join the herd, so I ask ya do you think I did something evil or was it for the best after all Cadance is getting bucked regularly and Gleaming is getting her daily plowing without the rest of the world finding out that her former self was gay?

"Sir, I am not the best to ask for an opinion about any of this I'm just the guy who cleans the gutters,"