Didn't see that coming
Shining Armor took his seat next to his beautiful wife, holding the XL soda and nacho chips in his hooves. This was a rare treat for him.
Today had been perfect, and there was no way that things could go wrong.
'You know something will.' A little voice in the back of his mind whispered. 'They always do.'
Shining ignored the little voice and sipped at his drink.
On this night, he and his beloved wife, the Princess of Love, had their first date night since the birth of their daughter, Flurry Heart. The three year old filly was being watched over by Shining's own sister, Twilight Sparkle, who was in the Crystal Empire for some friendship problem. Well, was that is. The problem had been solved, and Twilight elected to stay for a few days to visit and give her BBBFF and BBSILFTF (Best Big Sister-In-Law Friends Totally Forever)-he had to talk to her about her acronyms, they kept getting longer and longer- some much needed down time. She even took over court for them for the day so they could go to the spa and relax. Funny, there seemed to be a spa and massage parlor near each of the three castles in Equestria. Either it was a coincidence, or the Nation Spa Association, NSA, knew something he didn't.
The spa treatment was nice, and well needed, and now Shining was about to introduce Cadence to the second love in his life. Pro Wrestling. Before his marriage, Shining would watch it in the barracks each Wednesday religiously. Cadence had never seen what was known as the ENWL, Equestria Nation Wrestling League, and Shining Armor was eager to show her first hoof.
Shining paused for a moment, holding out the nachos to his wife, with the straw to the cola halfway to his lips. Why was everything he knew some sort of acronym? Deciding that the answer was pointless, irreverent, and all around didn't matter in the slightest bit, he sipped his drink as he waited for the questions he knew to come to start flowing. Any self respecting stallion knew that the key to a healthy relationship was to not bother to explain anything unless asked about it. The female mind proved to be too complex to accept simple explanations unless asked, in which the correct answer was in the most complex way to answer said question.
Cadence levitated a cheese drenched chip to her mouth. “I knew that the ENWL was popular, but I tot's didn't expect such a crowd.”
Shining, levitating a chip for himself, smirked at his wife. “Tot's?”
The Princess of Love blushed, causing her pink cheeks to burn red. “Am I behind on the modern slang?”
“No,” Shining kissed his wife's cheek, whispering in her ear. “It's cute, in a hawt way.”
Some pony in the seats behind them leaned forward. “Oh, get a room you two.” The familiar voice added, “Or a castle.”
Both lovers glanced behind themselves to see none other than Ante Celestia and Luna, the former wearing a cider hate, sipping away happily, while the latter wore shades. Both shared an XXL popcorn that hovered between them.
“Anties?” Cadence blinked. “What are you two doing here?”
“Luna pestered me about not being out of the castle on a sister date.” Celestia explained, grabbing a hoof full of popcorn.
“Nay, tis thy intent to visit this barbaric display of stallion prowess of strength.” Luna chipped in. She then leaned forward and whispered to the couple, “We bet on the out come. I'm in on twelve barrels of Zap Apple Cider on Deway “Rock” Jockson.”
Shining smiled. “He's a personal favorite of mine, but I think it's going to go to Stone Cold.”
“Does thou wish to make a wager?” Luna pulled her shades down enough for her Nephew-in-law to see the shining in her eyes.
“Fifty bits.” Shining Armor held out his hoof.
Luna bumped her hoof against it. “What doth the youth of the age say? Ah yes, prepare to pay up.”
“I don't think they say that.” Celestia remarked, sipping on her cider, fishing out another hoof full of buttery popcorn.
“Whateve's.” Luna replied.
“Haven't heard that one in a decade.” Cadence smirked, turning back to watch the show that was beginning to start.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNDDDDD NOW LADIES AND GENTLECOLTS!” An announcer yelled over the microphone, walking into the ring. “The UNDEFEATED, the HARD PLACE of the arena, the SMASHER HIMSELF! The ONE, the ONLY STONE COLD!”
The crowed, including Shining and Celestia stood up yelling wildly, throwing popcorn and nachos everywhere as Stone Cold walked into the arena to fireworks and heavy rock music, playing to the crowd, causing them to go even more crazy, if that was even possible.
“AAAAAANNDD NOW! THE ONE, THE ONLY Deway “ROCK” Jockson!”
The whole stadium erupted in a roar that could be heard at the Crystal Castle, waking Flurry Heart in her crib.
“Mother Bucker,” Twilight muttered under her teeth as she could hear her darling little niece start to wail at the top of her little lungs. “It took me all evening to get her down for the night! Some pony is going to pay for this!”
Back at the arena, the two wrestlers faced off, eying each other as they took turns trash talking.
“So it's come to this,” Stone Cold said, circling his opponent who did the same, creating a no stallion's zone. “You've finally grown a pair to come after me and my title?”
Deway leered at Stone. “Grown a pair? I've always had a pair. I just took down all those who actually had something between their legs before going after the only filly that didn't.”
There was an almighty OOOOHHHH that rang through the audience.
“Word to thy mother!” Luna yelled.
“Is that so?” Stone smiled. “Hate to disappoint, but the only stones you've ever had are in your mouth.”
Another OOOHHH erupted.
“Stones in my mouth?” 'Rock' asked with a laugh. “Since that fascinates you so much, I won't have any problem rubbin' my stones on your face once I take your belt!”
As the crowed yelled, the chant of “Rock, Rock, Rock!” began, until the entire arena was nothing but “ROCK, ROCK, ROCK!”
The two wrestlers went at it. Shining screamed with delight, and turned to his wife, who he was sure was quite confused on everything that was going on. To his surprise, she wasn't there. Blinking in confusion, he looked to the stairs, but didn't see her there either. He started to get up to go looking for her, when the microphone blared static, causing all, wrestlers included, to stop and turn to the side of the ring, where Cadence, the Princess of Love, was getting into the ring.
“Um, is this thing on?” She asked. Looking at the two wrestlers, who now stood awkwardly looking to the new comer, and then to each other. “Can I, just say something?”
The silence in the arena was so complete that when a pony sneezed, someone in the back row yelled out “Bless you.”
“Right,” Cadence smiled to the two opponents. “I'm sure you two know who I am.” She walked up to them. “And I just wanted to say a few things. Now I know it's you're job to wrestle for our entertainment, but was all that trash talk necessary?”
No pony said a word as the tall pink alicorn stood between them. “I mean really? You're both talented ponies for getting to this point, and all, but why say such hurtful things?”
Both opponents shuffled their hooves, looking ashamed at themselves.
“Now, let's talk this out, shall we?”
An hour in a half latter, every pony in the vast arena was crying, or doing their best to hold back tears, as Cadence helped both wrestlers discover that their reasons for fighting wasn't the lust for violence, but the fact that their self worth was so low, they stooped to putting on a show for others to gain the approval they sought from their parents and friends. 'Rock' explained that he started wrestling to impress a mare out of high school. When she started dating another stallion, his best friend while growing up, he just lost himself to wrestling, and became the best.
Stone Cold just wanted his father to acknowledge him, but never got the chance as he left home at a young age to pro wrestle and prove that he was a real stallion. He found out last year that his father had passed, not knowing what happened to his son, and it broke his heart. After some more tear jerking stories, Cadence smiled and brought them into a group hug. The tearful crowed began to stomp their hooves in approval, screaming their undying love and adoration for their Princess.
“Feel better?” Cadence asked them.
“Yeah.” Stone smiled.
“Lots.” Deway nodded.
“Good.” Cadence smiled. “Ready for the match?” Before another word could be said, the Princess of Love, bent straight back, lifting the two wrestlers off their hind legs and slammed them to the ground in an almighty suplex that rocked the whole arena.
Shining facehoofed as the stunned crowed started cheering as his petite wife started posing for all.
Of course something went wrong.