> The Gem of Venus
>  by Arkanus
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Best Kind of Field Trip
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, pop quiz: name the fundamentals of a good and successful friendship!"

You snap out of a daydream to find yourself sitting in a desk while your teacher, Princess Twilight Sparkle, gives you an expectant look. The events leading up to and shortly after your initial arrival in Equestria were a haze, but you could clearly remember the day that Twilight offered to take you in as her student. She was obviously eager to learn more about you, where you came from, and how you behaved.

Unfortunately for her, you were far from the brightest human that could have ended up in Equestria.

You stare blankly for a moment. "Uh... Dank memes?" You suggest nervously. Twilight looks confused, so you quickly correct, "Er, I mean, common interests."
Twilight gives you a pleasant smile. "Very good, Anon," she says encouragingly. "Can you name another?"
A nerve-induced bead of sweat forms on your brow. "Er... Careful listening?" You offer.
Twilight nods quickly. "Excellent! How about one more?"

Shit. That'll teach you to stay up until 3 in the morning playing Ogres and Oubliettes with Spike. "Uh..." You hold this sound until you run out of breath and give your teacher a helpless shrug.
Twilight gives a small, disappointed frown. "Hm. What about you, Starlight?" She asks, turning to a unicorn sitting in a desk next to you.
"Another fundamental of good friendship is dedication," Starlight Glimmer replies, giving you a smug glance that makes your blood pressure rise a tiny bit. Starlight was Twilight's student well before you arrived, and she made it her mission to make sure you knew she was number one, and no alien was going to show her up.

"Excellent, Starlight!" Twilight said proudly. "You both are making great progress on your friendship studies. I think it's time to reward the two of you with an extra credit opportunity!"
You and Starlight both straighten up in your seats; when you went to school on Earth, you rarely took extra credit unless you were failing the class in question and really needed the final push over the edge. In the case of Twilight's classes, however, an extra credit assignment meant a chance at some time off from new lessons for a while, as they usually involved some sort of journey or quest to a place with magical history. Last time, for example, you explored the ruins of Princess Celestia and Luna's castle, from before they ruled in Canterlot. The castle had such a rich and mysterious air to it, like there was something just waiting to be discovered by anyone with a watchful eye.

It was also a good opportunity to hide in the shadows and scare the living shit out of Starlight at every given moment, which ended up being more often than you had initially assumed.

"For this extra credit mission, I'd like the two of you to journey to the Temple of Venus," your teacher explained. "It's an abandoned monument to beauty and fertility that ponies would flock to long ago, but has been abandoned for hundreds of years. I think it would be an excellent opportunity to learn about a sect of ponies that shared friendship in a... Well, a different way than we're used to nowadays."
Starlight gives Twilight a confused look. "What do you mean, 'a different way'? How else would you share friendship?"

You notice that Twilight is blushing a bit. "Well... I think it would be better for the two of you to find that out for yourselves," she replies quickly. "Which brings me to my next point: the objective of many of my extra credit assignments has been more based around competition, but this time will be different." She uses her magic to wheel in a mobile chalkboard and write a single word on the board: teamwork. "I've noticed that you two have become increasingly competitive during our lessons; normally this would be fine, but I'm worried the rivalry you two share might grow out of control if left unchecked," she explains as both you and Starlight slowly take on horrified expressions. "So, for this assignment, I want you two to work as a team, and bring me the Jewel of Venus, which is said to rest in the undercroft of the temple."

You and Starlight exchange a panicked look for a moment before turning your attention back to Twilight. "Come on, Twilight," you say pleadingly, "our rivalry is one of the main things that motivates us to do so well! Take that out of the equation, and we'll probably give up after five minutes, tops."
Starlight nods in agreement. "Isn't there something else we can do that would pit us against each other?" She asks hopefully.
Twilight frowns. "Your insistance is only further convincing me that the two of you need something to bring you closer together as friends," she says flatly. "Now, pack some travelling supplies; I want you to be on your way tomorrow morning!"

"But," the two of you begin, but a scowl from Twilight shuts you both up. "Yes, Twilight," you both mumble dejectedly.





The journey to the Temple of Venus was a rather tense one, with you and Starlight trying to make it as competitive as possible the moment you stepped off the train and began the real journey. You'd have footraces during the day to see who could cover more ground before having to stop, and at night you'd see who could pitch their tent and be ready for bed faster. Meals were eaten in a hurry, bathroom breaks were timed, and you were pretty sure that your brain was subconsciously trying to wake up earlier than Starlight did. After three days of this, the two of you eventually reached the Temple of Venus, at which point you finally stopped competing due to a combination of wanting to observe the architecture of the temple, and an unspoken lack of energy from pushing yourselves so hard during the journey.

The temple almost looked Greek or Roman in nature, with lots of marble columns lining the entrance and realistically carved statues of ponies in... uncomfortably intimate situations. You blush at the sight of a stone mare and stallion frozen in a missionary position, their faces carved into expressions of pure ecstasy.
"I think I know why Twilight was too embarrassed to talk about this place," you say aloud to yourself.
Starlight pokes her head out from behind an overgrown hedge, which causes her to be perfectly lined up with a headless statue of a mare receiving cunilingus from an obedient stallion. "Find anything interesting?" She calls hopefully.
Your blush deepens as the image before you is enhanced by your imagination, mentally placing yourself in place of the statue that was on its knees. You shake your head slightly to break the illusion. "Nope, nothing," you say quickly. "Let's check out the inside; Twilight said the Gem would probably be in the undercroft." Saying this, you proceed toward the entrance of the temple, forcing your eyes to face forward and not wander to the statues depicting various indecent, filthy, hot, sexy... Wait, what?

The inside of the temple isn't as remarkable as the exterior; in fact, it was very bare-bones compared to the decorated clearing you were just standing in moments ago. The floor was covered in a repeating pattern of smooth, black tiles, and the room was wide and spacious with a single stone door opposite the entrance. Starlight pauses as she enters. "Is it just me... Or is this place unusually nice-looking?" She asks. "This temple has to be hundreds, if not thousands, of years old, yet I've seen more modern structures in worse shape than this one."
You shrug. "I guess," you reply. "I mean, I like ruins as much as the next guy, but it isn't very remarkable compared to the other places Twilight has sent us before. Except maybe for the naughty statues," you add humorously.

Starlight smirks as she trots to your side, and you continue to cross the room. "Oh, you were checking those out?" She teases, "I didn't know you were into ponies, Anon."
You're face grows hot as you scowl at the pink unicorn. "I was admiring their life-like design," you insist. "I'm a sucker for details."
Starlight rolls her eyes and smirks. "Whatever you say, pervert," she replies. "Maybe you should've brought a camera to take some pictures; then you'd have something to jerk off to when you think everyone else is asleep."

You stop and stare at Starlight with wide, nervous eyes. "I don't... You can't... How do you know that?" You sputter disbelievingly.
Starlight giggles as she continues to walk across the floor. "Let's just say when I get restless late I night, I like to walk through the castle to clear my mind, and my preferred route takes me past your room, where I can usually hear some rhythmic thudding and your moaning," she explains, and immites your masturbatory moans for a few moments as your blush deepens; soon, art majors would have to invent an entirely new color to match the shade of your cheeks. "Every single night, long after Twilight and Spike are passed out, but you didn't count on me being a light sleeper."

You scowl at Starlight and continue to march towards the door. "Let's just find this Gem so we can go home," you grumble.
Starlight nods. "Yes, let's," she agrees as you reach the door, and strains to push it open. "Here, put your dumb human muscles to use and help me open this door," she demands.
You frown as you attempt to help, bracing your shoulder against the door and pushing with your legs. "Aren't horses supposed to be way stronger than humans?" You say through gritted teeth. The door scrapes across the floor loudly, and you eventually push it open far enough for you and Starlight to slip past. There is a staircase on the other side, leading further into the depths of the temple. The walls are lined with torches and carvings depicting an ancient script, as well as more artwork of ponies fucking.

"This looks like if the Temple of Doom was designed by the guys who wrote the Kama Sutra," you murmur as you both proceed down the steps. The way the light from the torches flickered against the walls made it look as though they were moving, like there was a two-dimensional orgy surrounding you on either side.
"Was that a human joke?" Starlight inquires. "I'm still not used to your sense of humor."
You nod. "Yeah, sorry. Basically, the Temple of Doom is pretty self-explanatory, and the Kama Sutra is a book about weird sex positions," you explain.
Starlight chuckles, now understanding your witty remark. "Well, at least we can agree this place is a little unsettling," she replies.

You smirk. "Oh, are you scared?" You tease as you absentmindedly run your hand over the wall, only to yank it away when it runs over the outline of a stallion's shaft. It was so veiny and detailed, you'd almost swear it was the real thing.
Starlight blushes. "Yeah, I'm a little scared, okay?" she snaps. "I have a phobia of caves and tight spaces, and we're going a little deeper underground than I'm normally comfortable with." She gasps as she misses a step and pitches forward, but you quickly catch her and help her regain her balance. "Let's just get this gem and get out of here," she grumbles, slapping your helping hands away with a forehoof.

As you continue downward, you hear a small latch click as you place your foot on the ground. You look to see that you've triggered a pressure plate. "Oh, shit," you murmur as the tunnel begins to shake. "Run, Starlight!" You shout, but you see that she's already several yards ahead of you. "Fucking cunt," you mutter as you dash down the stairs. You glance behind you as the rumbling intensifies, and your heart drops into your asshole when you see the walls and ceiling are collapsing at an alarming rate. You turn your gaze forward and kick it into high gear, being careful not to trip and eat stone, when you and your unicorn companion emerge into a large, open chamber. The tunnel collapses behind you, blocking off your only path of escape.

"Oh, fuck!" Starlight screams, which surprises you; she hardly ever swore, if at all. She sprints to the wall of debris and begins to desperately dig away at the fallen rubble with her forehooves. "Help me, you idiot!" She snaps, but you grab her by the shoulders and pulls her away.
"Starlight," you say, putting on your best calming, grown-up voice, "we can't dig out of here. We were walking down those stairs for at least five minutes; there's no way we can dig through all that without an entire team equipped with tools. Let's try and look around for a way to escape," you suggest, giving her a small smile. This seems to cheer her up, as her expression is less severe than it was moments ago.

"Okay," she whispers, and the two of you examine your surroundings a bit better. The room is surprisingly well-lit, with several beacons of light shining from the ceiling. "Those must be magic lights," she says thoughtfully. "Or, since we've already seen plenty of lit torches, they could be fires with lenses positioned to focus the light on the room."
You nod. "Yeah, and... these benches must be for if ponies got tired of standing and wanted to sit and rest for a little while," you add, wanting to say something to support the investigation and help Starlight calm down more, however unhelpful your observations may be. "And over there, in the center of the room, is - sweet Jesus!" You exclaim. The center of the room is occupied by a fountain resting in the center of a large, ankle-deep wading pool. That wasn't the source of your excitement, however; what got your attention was a baseball-sized amber orb that sat atop the fountain, being held in the forehooves of a tiny mare statue. "The Gem of Venus!" You and Starlight exclaim in unison, and you both dash to retrieve your prize.

You splash through the water and reach out an eager hand for the Gem. You instantly notice that it feels tingly and warm, almost like it's vibrating. "Woah, that's weird," you comment as a pins-and-needles sensation fills your entire arm, and spreads pleasantly throughout your entire body. "Ooh, it's almost nice, like a massage," you murmur happily as you clutch the orb with both hands and lay down on one of the stone benches that lay near the fountain. "Hmm..." You moan happily as Starlight stares at you with a confused expression.
"Really?" She asks incredulously, "You see a suspicious-looking orb all-too-conveniently placed on top of a fountain, and your first instinct was to grab it without letting me inspect it with a probe spell first? Your lucky it didnt trigger any more traps."

You make a mocking pouty face. "I think Glim-Glim is just jealous that Nonny got the magical ball before she did," you say in a playful, yet slightly drunk, voice.
Starlight rolls her eyes. "Give me that thing, you idiot," she demands. "It's obviously enchanted to make the holder enter a state of blissful stupidity, which is surprisingly effective on somone who's already a complete moron."
You give the violet unicorn a clever smile. "You've gotta come and get it from me first," you say, holding the Gem closer to yourself like a football player would protect a ball.

Starlight frowns and reaches out a hoof to take the Gem from you, but you quickly hold it out with your other arm. She sighs and trots around the bench, but you giggle as you switch arms again. "Gotta be quicker than that, Starlight," you say in a sing-song voice as you continue to visibly irritate her.
"That's enough!" She finally growls, and leaps on top of you and grabs the Gem with both forehooves. "Ha-ha! Huh?" Starlight's eyes suddenly grow wide and confused, and she looks down at your crotch too see your pants have gotten unusually tight. "Ugh, gross, Anon!" She exclaims, still sounding uncertain about the situation. "I can't believe you've got a boner over... Me... Oh, fuck..." She moans, and collapses on your chest. "Anon... You have to drop the Gem..." She struggles to say the words as her voice begins to slur.

You giggle as the sensation of pressure against your bulging member sends little shocks of pleasure through your body. It doesn't usually feel this good, you think loopily. "And why the fuck should I do that?" You demand, a blissful smile plastered across your lips.
Starlight starts to shimmy forward, further intensifying the pleasurable sensation stemming from your dick. "It must be... focusing some sort of... sexual energy..." She mumbles. "It's so strong that it's... channeling through both of us..." She explains. "Oh, shit... this is like the most intense heat I've ever felt..."

You suddenly regain a small portion of your senses. "Shit, yeah, I need to..." You attempt to slacken your grip on the Gem, but your fingers won't obey. "The fuck?" You wonder aloud as you switch hands, but still can't completely release it from your grasp. "I can't let go!" You shout as you flail your arm in an attempt to throw the Gem away, but this proves fruitless.
"Well, there is one thing that we could do..." Starlight points out, straightening herself on top of you. "If we were to... you know, have sex... our combined orgasm could be enough to... counteract the Gem's magic and set us both free."

You process this slowly. You didn't want to be stuck in this state of mind forever, no matter how good it felt, but you also didn't want to bang your arch rival. Of course, the fact that she was also a horse wasn't incredibly appealing, either, but you valued your ego more than your dignity. "I don't know," you say uncertainly. "Is that a good idea?"

Starlight grabs your cheeks and brings her face close to yours. "We're both soaking wet and horny beyond all reason, and you aren't going to fuck me?" She asks disbelievingly. "I don't like this plan any more than you do, so man the fuck up, and fucking fuck me already!"

You gulp. "Yes, ma'am," you reply obediently as you reach your free hand down to undo your zipper.
"No, I'll do it," Starlight says as she rotates herself on top of you, bringing you face-to-face with her glistening marehood. It's already wet from the fountain, but there's a powerful, somewhat pleasant aroma emanating from her folds that tells you it isn't just water she's drenched it. "Alright, I'm gonna be totally honest here," you murmur as Starlight yanks down your trousers, "normally I'm grossed out by horse genitals, but yours is looking incredibly scrumptious right n - ahh!" You let out a surprised yelp as Starlight Glimmer's warm, wet tongue glides from the base of your shaft all the way to the tip, filling your entire body with a tingly sensation. "Holy shit," you whisper as she lightly licks the head of your dick with the very tip of her tongue like it's a lollipop.

"Well, are you going to sit there and enjoy the scenery, or are you going to put some work into this, too?" She demands, sounding more aroused than angry. You tentatively lean your head forward, eyeing her clitoris as it winks at you eagerly, poking out every few seconds as if it was playing peek-a-boo. You give her bean a quick, nervous kiss, which makes Starlight shudder and giggle. You take this as a sign that you're doing this right. You give her clit another smooch, but this time you hold it for a few moment, parting your lips ever so slightly to tease her with light flicks of your tongue as she continues to stroke your cock with her own tongue.

"Hmm... You claim to not be attracted to mares... But you aren't too bad at eating them out," Starlight says with a giggle.
You shrug as she gives your tip a kiss. "I mean, you might as well put a sign on your clit that says 'Here's what your looking for, go fucking nuts'," you reply as an idea crawls into your sex-crazed brain: you can't drop the orb, but you still have a free hand. You bring your empty hand by your face and use your fingertips to gently rub the edges of Starlight's folds as you continue to pleasure her clit. After a few laps of rubbing around her lips, you prod your fingers inside her pussy, earning you a squeak.
"A little warning next time would be nice," she says in a silky tone, and does something that makes a firecracker go off in your brain: she envelops your entire member in her mouth, right down to the base. You groan as you feel her mouth wrap around your cock, and you wonder how you ever got off just using your hand as she begins to move her head up and down. You repay the gesture in kind by moving your fingers in and out in a slow, steady motion while you continue to lightly nip and suck at her eagerly-throbbing bean.

After a few minutes, though, Starlight stops sucking you off and moves her marehood away from your face. "I need you inside me, Anon," she gasps as she turns herself around. Her mane is no longer tied up in a ponytail like it usually was, and was left free to hang long and damp over her sleek body. Her eyes are full of longing, wordlessly pleading you to make her yours. 
You nod dutifully as you reach your free hand to your cock and press it against her slit. "You ready?" You ask permissively.

Starlight shows you just how ready she is by promptly pressing her thighs downward, forcing your cock inside her marehood in an instant. She cries out in ecstasy as the pleasurable feeling makes you unconsciously buck your hips upward, lifting Starlight in the air for a moment. "Oh, fuck!" You moan, and the two of you suddenly roll off of the bench and into the wading pool. "Shit, I'm so sorry Starlight!" You apologize frantically as you start to stand up, but she quickly pulls you close before you can completely pull out.
"No," she pleads, "just fuck me right here in the water."
You stare for a moment before shrugging. You slowly press your hips against her as she lets out a long whine. You give her a worried look, thinking she made that sound out of pain, but then you notice she's grinning ear-to-ear. "Why'd you stop, baby?" She moans as she gives you a sultry, half-lidded gaze, prompting you to continue thrusting. "Oh, don't be so gentle," she says, beginning to move her hips back and forth in the water, "we're under a seduction spell; just fuck my brains out!"

That was all the invitation you needed.

You plant your hands on either side of Starlight as a fire suddenly roars to life inside you, its full strength awakened by Starlight's words. Having positioned yourself for optimum grip and support, you begin to violently smack your hips against Starlight's flanks, splashing water all around as you passionately fuck your rival. "Mmm... You feel incredible, Starlight," you growl as your cock slides in and out, the ankle-deep water providing more than enough lubrication for your task.
Starlight giggles as she places her forelegs around your shoulders and holds you close. "You feel pretty good yourself, Anon," she replies, pressing her mouth to yours in a messy kiss. Your tongues battle for dominance over the other's mouth, pressing against each other in an evenly-matched power struggle. You eventually separate from each other to catch a breath, causing a string of mixed saliva to trail from your lips before breaking apart. It doesn't last very long, though, as after a few short gasps the two of you are back at it again, vigorously humping and smooching and pawing each other in a tangled mass of passion and exctasy.

Eventually, Starlight's expression takes on a mixture of concern and excitement. "Anon, I think... I think I'm gonna cum!" She cries out.
You nod quickly as you strain to hold back your own orgasm. "Yeah, me too," you groan. "Just say when... And I'll let go!" You suddenly lift her up and place her on the bench, still thrusting balls deep into her cunt with every motion.
Starlight Glimmer's entire body begins to shudder. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh FUCK YES!" she screams, and you let out a roar as you plunge your rod as deep as it will go while the most intense orgasm you have ever felt nearly shatters your mind, and you pump load after load of semen into the unicorn's hungry pussy. As you do, the Gem in your hand glows a brilliant orange before falling from your grasp, it's hunger finally satisfied by your collective orgasm "Oh... Oh sweet Celestia..." She moans, gasping for breath as you collapse beside her. "That... Was... Amazing..." She wiggles close to you and gives you a gentle kiss; no struggle for dominance this time, but a gentle, lovely kiss.

The two of you lay there for a long time, recovering your strength before standing back up. "Hey, look at that," you say as you point to the entrance to the room. "The rubble is all cleared! We can get out!"
Starlight breathes a sigh of relief. "The Gem's energy must have restored the temple," she says thoughtfully. "That must be why the statues and architecture look so unweathered; every time a... let's call it a 'sacrifice', is made, it restores the entire temple to its original state."
You grin excitedly as you jump back into your pants and throw your shirt back on. "Who cares how it works? Let's get out of here and get back home!" You let out a loud whoop as you and Starlight Glimmer race back to the door, up the stairs, and out of the Temple of Venus.





When you and Starlight Glimmer arrive back at Twilight Sparkle's castle a few days later, your mutual teacher is waiting with an eager and proud smile. "So good to have you two back!" She cries as she gives you both a quick hug. "Tell me, did you get the Gem?" She inquires hopefully.
You smile sheepishly. "Yeah, about that," you begin nervously, "I had the Gem, but then I was kinda in a hurry to get out of the temple that I maybe kinda-sorta dropped it and forgot to grab it again..."
Twilight frowns disappointedly. "That is a shame," she remarks. "However, I think whats more important is that the two of you have finally overcome your rivalry, and are ready to be true friends!" She beams proudly as you and Starlight exchange a friendly fist/hoof bump. "And since you completed the main goal of your assignment, I'm going to give the two of you two weeks off from lessons to enjoy yourselves. If you need anything, however, I'm always available for questions!" Saying this, she retreated inside her castle, leaving you and Starlight standing awkwardly on the front steps.

"So." You state awkwardly.

Starlight gives a small nod and avoids eye contact. "So."

You swallow hard. "Alright, I'm gonna go for broke here," you sigh. "What we did, back at the temple... Could it maybe not be the only time we do that?" You ask hopefully.
Starlight glances at you and puts on a smug smile. "I was hoping you'd ask that, otherwise there'd be no point in hanging on to this," she says cleverly as she levitates the Gem of Venus out of her saddlebag. "Before we left, I caught sight of an inscription that stated that the Gem takes one week to recharge it's energy, so we should be able to use it again in just a couple of days."
You smile at the violet unicorn. "That's awesome!" You exclaim. "And... I was also hoping we could be more than just fuckbuddies?" You inquire. "Like... I dunno, would you like to go to dinner this evening? And then if the night goes in that direction, we could have sex again, no magical gemstones this time," you add.

Starlight nods slowly. "I think I'd like that," she replies kindly. "We should shower first, though; who knows what was in that water!"
You nod. "And I need to brush my teeth," you complain as you start to head inside. "My breath probably smells like marecum!"
Starlight pokes you in the side with her forehoof as she gallops to catch up with you. "Hey, I'm sure human-cock-breath is way worse," she shoots back humorously. "Of course, there'll be plenty more time for that argument later tonight," she adds as she trots off toward the ladies bathroom, swishing her tail to purposely flash you a peek at her pussy.

Sorry, hand, you think as you glance at your right palm, but I think you're going to feel pretty neglected in the near future.





The being masquerading as Twilight Sparkle slammed an angry hoof on the table in her private quarters. "I can't believe those idiots lost the Gem!" She snapped, her voice suddenly taking on a strange buzzing, layered tone, as though it was being filtered. "No matter; there are plenty more artifacts that will help me gain dominion over the ponies of Equestria, and when I have them, this land shall be mine!" She suddenly burst out into a wild cackling fit as her eyes flashed a bright green.

In the corner of the room, a lavender alicorn watched helplessly from behind a prison of goo as her imposter went about pretending she was Twilight Sparkle. "I hope Anonymous and Starlight catch on to her act," she whispered quietly. "They might be the only ones who can stop her this time."

The stranger glanced at Twilight. "That is where you are wrong, Twilight," she purred as she drew close to the putrid cocoon. "Your stupid students will never find me out, because you are the only one who has been replaced in this plan, and my spies have been feeding me information on your attitude and mannerisms ever since I was first driven from Canterlot; I can impersonate you perfectly!"

Just then, there was a knock at the door. The imposter Twilight's eyes quickly lost their green glow as she cast a spell that hid the cocoon from view, and answered the door with a feigned yawn. "Anonymous? What are you still doing up?" She asked tiredly.
The human tapped his fingers together nervously. "Hey, Twilight, how's it going? Cool, don't care, I was wondering if you have any experience with getting an Ogres and Oubliettes figurine unstuck from a dragon's eye socket, would you?" He inquired hopefully.

Spike's pained cry sounded from down the hall. "There's blood everywhere!" He wailed.

Anon smiled innocently as Twilight blew a few strands of her mane out of the way of her face. "Is this like the last time, when Spike was perfectly fine and you used my distraction to steal the key to the pantry from my room so you two could eat all of the candy?" She asked flatly.
Anon's smile faltered. "Uh..." He trailed off, then looked down the hall. "She isn't buying it, Spike," he called out dejectedly as he paced down the hall.

The false alicorn licked her lips as she stared at Anon's ass as he walked away. "When I have my revenge, that human is going to spend the rest of his days on my throne... With me sitting directly on top of his shaft," she chuckled darkly as she retreated into her room, slamming and locking the door behind her as a "Do Not Disturb" sign materialized over the handle.