From the Forbidden Chapter of “The Confessions of Starswirl the Bearded”
CHAPTER 6: THE FREAK SHOW
There is a reason why the current Princesses: Celestia and Luna Everfree, have distant themselves of talking about their foalhoods. One in which I know too well about, perhaps even for my own good. While I am proud of saving them, taking those two to a much kinder place of the Kingdom of Equestria, I will always blame myself for not doing so sooner.
From all of my regrets that I have should have taken serious consideration, perhaps it is this memory from my early days that I will go to my grave with a heavy heart. I do not wish to bring it up to either Princess for fear that they may not take kindly for my concerns or that it would bring back too many memories that they have to endure. So for the sake of peace of mind, I give you, the reader, another of my many confessions.
It was after I left the palace of then Princess Platinum to explore all the corners of the world for the sake of knowledge that I began my travels westward towards what is now known as the Northern Luna Sea. At the time I began my travels, I was quite young, still innocent, and still curious about everything around me. Given that I was blessed for the ability to write, I recorded down as much of local knowledge as I could from household cures to sketching out maps of a newly formed Equestria.
Those who lived beyond the time of Equestria’s founding perhaps cannot comprehend how… wild and sometimes savage the places and ponies can be. The reader must understand the idea that the past was far crueler and sadistic than the peaceful reign of Celestia and Luna. In order to fully understand my confession, one must know what life was like in those days where some ponies can be either a kind friend or a calculating foe. In those early days, I was always taking a risk with everypony that I happened upon.
When I reached the Northern Luna Sea, I walked up the coastline traveling northward, taking notes along the way. Apart from the wildlife, I recorded some of the villages by the sea and how the inhabitance there lived. It was in one of these villages, that I heard a rumor that piques my interest. Although I cannot recall who exactly said it, I do remember that it was between two stallions, and the conversation went along something like this:
“Have you heard that the circus is coming?”
“Really? So soon?”
“Yes, the next village said that it has come to their town, and they’ve got new freaks to show off.”
“Is that so? What kind of freaks?”
“Well, from what I’ve heard, they have these two orphans. Both of which have not only the horn of a Unicorn but also a pair of wings too!”
“So like what happens when a Unicorn and a Pegasus mate?”
“Uh-huh. But that’s not all. The circus has this show, in which they get someone from the audience to come up on stage, and try to kill both of them. But that’s not even the weird part! From what I’ve heard, no matter what anypony did to them, they’ve always come back alive!”
“You’re joking!”
“No! My friend had seen it with his own eyes. He said that he saw this guy had brought an ax with him to test it out for himself. Well, he went up, chopped those brats into pieces, and the next thing everypony knew, they somehow put themselves back together again!”
“You’re lying. There’s no way any of that is true.”
I admit that when I heard this, I too was skeptical of such a thing. But at the same time, I was rather curious if such a barbaric pallor trick was even slightly true. After hearing more of the locals about the circus was coming, I stick around for a few days until, one morning, the caravan showed up. Even years later, I remember vividly as they’ve made their entrance through the tiny village by the coast. First were the exploding firework and smoke spells that the unicorns cast to get everypony’s attention before a band started up the music to the sound of flutes, drums, tambourines, and fiddles as they paraded through. They come with acrobatics that did flips and contortions right in the middle of the street. Fire breathers, sword swallowers, street magicians, and exotic beasts with collars came through to show off. Clowns and mimes danced to the music, purposely making mistakes to make the spectators laugh. Pegasi flipped through the air to do daring stunts on the roofs of the village. And at the very end of the parade were the colorful caged wagons, some covered while others open for viewing. The ones who drove these wagons shout, “Come to the Circus!” “Experience the marvels wonders!” “See the newest freaks!”
Nevertheless, this flashy display of colorful characters and intriguing mystery of the cloaked wagons did catch everyone’s; including my own, attention as we watched them set up their tents on the edge of the village. All day, striped tents of yellow and red begun to tower over, sighs of wild animals and oddly shaped ponies stood proudly around a fabric wall, letting no one in until nightfall.
Once the vale was lifted, of course, we were told that there’d be a price to pay for entry. Back then, the Equestrian Bit wasn’t made, so to go in, we have to give a single jewel for each pony that went through. Being curious about what was in there to record notes, I along with the villagers pay my way to see what was behind the fabric curtain.
After I paid my entry fee, I confess to you that I had experienced something that is forever burned into my memory until the day I die.
I followed the crowd towards the biggest tent there was that although dim, space was lit by lanterns that pointed to the very heart of the circus. A ring made out of sand from the beaches occupied the space. We took whatever seats we could get and waited until all the other space was full. Once this was done, a stallion in scarlet robes trotted to the very center of the stage.
After he bowed, he proclaimed, “Mares and Stallions! As Ring Master of the proud Red Maple Circus, I welcome each and every one of you to the greatest show in the world! Tonight we have planned for you, the greatest death-defying stunts, exotic mysteries, and the most unusual ponies ever conceived by nature! Tonight, we will make you laugh, make you gasp, mystify, terrify, and leave you dizzy of the wonders that all of you are about to see!”
Although my memory doesn’t recall all that I’ve seen from the acrobats to the magicians that I took note of long ago, I do remember the final act of that night in which they’ve shown us the freaks. In all of my travels at my age, never in all of Equestria or beyond could compare to what I saw that night. I saw a Gryphon that was born having a pair of five wings. A stallion that had no neck, an Earth Pony mare who had no legs could sew all on her own, a colt who had pincers like a crab for forelegs, a pegasus with only one wing, all just to name a few.
Each of them did simple tricks that may sound ordinary but had wowed the audience back then such as tying knots, paint, perform simple flight exorcizes, eat, drink, and do that in spite of their deformities to which they cheered for.
But then, the finale of the last pair of freaks came to the center of the ring in which wowed everyone but horrified me. To this day, I could still remember the screams as they were dragged onto the stage in chains. I could still hear the pleas of mercy and begging help from the audience as they were pushed into the very center. For the first time, I beheld our future Princesses, young, bounded and afraid.
There were gasps as we saw their wings and horns for the very first time. Two fillies, one was blue while the other was white, both of them hugged one another for dear life. Their shiny eyes looked around in fear as they were now in the spotlight as if they didn’t want to be there.
The Ring Master came onto the sandy stage, “For our final act tonight,” he announced, “I present to you these two wild children of the Great Everfree Forest. Captured in the wilderness, these two impure breeds of nature have possessed the very gift that only ponies dream about. Immortality! No matter what fate throws at them, they will always come back in one piece. In the past, they have been poisoned, chopped into pieces, drowned, beaten, stoned, stabbed, pulled apart and even been cast deadly spells upon them – yet, no matter what, these two refuse to die.”
He only gave a nod before two strong stallions came into the ring to separate the two sisters. They screamed for help as their chains were wrapped and tighten to the thick poles that held up the tent before they were gagged. Once this was done, the Ring Master grinned as another stallion pushed a cart full of weapons.
“Now,” said he, “From this audience, I would need some volunteers. If you a brave enough, or have some aggression, stress, curious enough, I invite you to come to the center of the ring, take up a weapon and do as you wish to these children. Try to see if you are able to kill them, and they shall return to the living before your very eyes!”
In all of my years of life, never, have I encountered an entertainment that was as barbaric as what I saw that night. One by one, some of the villagers came forward to select their weapon, their tool of torture before turning to the bounded fillies. And in that darken tent, with all the inexperience of my youth, only sat there in shock at what they did to those two. The likes of which I tried so hard to forget, but cannot ever leave from the darkest corners of my mind.
I saw ponies, a few of whom I have met days before, taking up crude saws to rip out their horns and wings. Another gouged out their eyes while someone takes up a knife to cut deep into their flesh. At one point, a Unicorn cast a spell to set them on fire while another drilled into their skulls to scramble their minds. And their cries… their screams to stop, the very memory always makes me cry every time I remember it.
But no matter what horrible thing that the villagers did to them, I did saw, with my own eyes, that those fillies somehow repair themselves about a minute or two that they were destroyed. Flesh that was mutilated beyond description melted back to their original form. Wings that were burnt, plucked or cut off regrew from the bloodied mess. Broken or sawed-off horns reassembled from the top of their heads. Teeth that were cracked and broken were reversed. Blood that was spilling stopped as soon as they were opened. But the crying, it was still constant.
When they were board of trying to murder them, the villagers gave up and the Ring Master ended their show at that moment, dragging the sobbing fillies away through a passage in the tent.
As horrified as I was, no as disgusted as what I had seen, there was a part of me that denied it. After all, this was a circus where not everything is what they seem. My mind tried to rationalize that perhaps this was all some sort of a trick. It has to be! Maybe those ponies were paid by the circus to make it look like they were trying to kill them. Perhaps those weapons were fake – or most likely, there was a spell behind it all. Even so, I felt an obligation to know from those fillies of who they are, and how it was all really done; especially to see if those horns and wings were indeed real because nopony up until then had ever seen an alicorn before.
The next morning, I tried going up to the circus once more, this time to ask those who ran it to let me speak to the two fillies. Needless to say, I was rudely denied such access, even when I did try to bribe them to let me speak to them for one minute! I confess that after sunset, I’ve made up my mind that I would sneak into the curtain to see them up close.
I’ve stayed up most of the night, waited for the show to be over and for everything to go quiet before I slipped underneath that striped wall. In the darkness of the night, I’ve navigated my way around cages, wagons and circus equipment to look for the fillies. Only the light of the moon guided me as I snuck in the shadows, under carts and softly trotted around tents. But as it turned out, all I had to do to find those fillies was to follow the source of their crying.
What I saw shocked me. Near the big tent in a corner, there stood a caged cart of iron that unlike the others had no roof to protect them from the elements. As I drew near, I saw a clumped shadow in one corner of the cage. With every step, I could make out some details, for I saw the chains, the irons around their necks, straw, the putrid smell of waste, and the two fillies that I saw from the night before.
They didn’t notice me at first as they wept in the shadow of the tent, it wasn’t until my hoof knocked against something did they look up in fear. It was then that I stopped to really look at them. Up until then, I had my doubts of what the circus said they were. I suspected that their horns were fake, but when I light up my horn a little, did I saw that not only where their horns were real, but so were their wings. In that light too, I saw runes etched on the bars of the cage and on their collars.
However, what stood out to me then was the sheer look on their faces as they looked at me. They were afraid. Even when they are a new race of ponies that I have never seen before, where they were similar of all three tribes, I still saw them as frighten children. Their eyes saw me as if I was about to do something horrible that they clenched tightly to one another in their restraints.
Looking around to see that I was truly alone, I pulled out from my sack a piece of bread as a sign of good will. The fillies quickly took notice and they were eyeing it in my aura. Throwing it into the cage, they attacked it like starved wolves as they tore the piece of bread apart.
“What in the world?” I remember whispering softly. I tore off another piece, this time, their hooves reached out through the bars of the cage. It was then that I truly realized that these two that I saw the night before were really being abused. No. I don’t think that is the right word, even back then with dungeons and prisons at the time that, although deplorable, they still had to give those prisoners food and drink. But this… this treatment where these fillies seemed to be starving, was diabolical.
I had to know, “Can you understand me?” I asked them quietly, and they nodded.
“Please,” the white one begged.
“Hungry,” the blue added.
I ended up giving my whole loaf to them. “Who are you two? What are you?”
“It,” the white filly replied.
“Thing,” said the other.
My eyes widen, “You’re joking.” They shook their heads. “Well… what kind of ponies are you?”
“Freaks,” they told me in unison.
There was a pause between us. I tried to take a step closer but they shuffled back into the corner, “Why are you afraid of me?”
“You’re going to hurt us,” the blue filly said but she, like her sister, kept her eyes on me.
“I never said I was going to.” I was going to take another step but I heard-
“Don’t!” the white child whispered but nearly screamed. “S-Stay where you are! Don’t… don’t…” there were more tears in her eyes.
I was about to ask what was wrong but then I heard a soft noise from behind. Quickly turning around, I saw a shadow, forcing me to flee underneath the curtained wall. I confessed that I ran from that circus until it was out of sight. But even after I fled and as much as I was disgusted by their condition, my curiosity was now peaked. Who were they? Where did they really come from? And more importantly, why are they treated like animals?
The next night, after I bought another loaf, some cheese, and some water, I snuck back onto the grounds of the circus. I found them in the same place, in the same shadow they hid in as I returned. With my magic, I placed the gifts right at the bars of the cage and stepped back. As expected, they went straight for the food before I started asking questions.
“Why were you not given real pony names?”
I remembered they both had a look of surprise, “Because we’re not ponies.” The white filly replied as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
“Real ponies get real names,” her sister replied.
“But, that doesn’t seem fair to me,” I told them. “You two look like ponies to me.”
“Nopony has both a horn and wings,” the blue sister insisted.
“So? All I see are two children that haven’t been given proper names. Would you two like if I gave you one?”
They both looked at one another, “Like what?” the white filly asked.
I thought for a moment and commented, “Your coat is very white, almost sunlike so… how about Sunny?” I turned to the other, “And yours is a nice shade of blue, like the light of the moon. So would Moony do?”
They only shrugged and continued eating.
“Why are you two here?” I asked.
After she swallowed, Moony responded, “We have nowhere else to go.”
“But I don’t understand. How did you two end up here?”
Sunny’s eyes narrowed, “Why do you want to know?”
“For two important reasons, the first is I see what you’re going through is wrong. The other is that I’m a scholar, and as such, I am tasked my Princess Platinum herself to go beyond Equestria and to return with all the knowledge in the world to her.”
“He’s probably lying,” Moony commented.
I sighed, these two could tell the world so much, but they didn’t seem to trust me. So what could I do? Then it came to me, “What if I could help both of you escape?” I offered them. “What if I could come up with a plan in which I could get both of you to go someplace else then this circus? If I was able to do just that, would you two tell me everything about yourselves?”
Although they didn’t exactly trust me, they said that they would. That night I tried to use my knowledge to open the cage, but I found that it was magic resistant. Upon closer examination, the only way to not only open the cage but to free them from their chains was by a key. I asked them where that key was, and they told me that only the Ring Master had it.
The next night I returned early, only this time I had my things with me, and I was waiting. I don’t exactly remember where I hid, but I was looking at the cage the whole time as it was empty when I first arrived. Some time later after their show was over, the Ring Master emerged from the tent while a strong stallion held the chains of the children. From the moment I saw the key did I jump into action.
My memory is in pieces of how exactly I’ve freed the fillies, but I do know that I took the key and blasted the chains off from that henchpony. The next thing I knew, I held their chains as I told them to run. Ripping through the striped wall, I lead them eastward into the forest while from behind the circus was in alarm. I had to at one point take off their chains because it was slowing us down. I think I’ve liberated them of everything except their collars to which we heard the barking of dogs after us.
On that night, we were chased deeper into the wilderness. The ponies of the circus flew and blasted through the trees looking for us. While I’m afraid I don’t remember the exact details, I do remember that by dawn we were exhausted. Completely out of breath in the middle of nowhere, we still listened for any signs of the circus.
When things became quiet and still, did I proceed in taking their collars off. After their last sign of oppression had fallen from their necks, they felt the place where it was before looking up to me. I think I was about to say something when they both hugged me.
From there, we started to journey towards the newly found Equestrian nation. I told them that once we’ve reached its borders, then they never have to be afraid of anything again. But as I’ve told them, I also wanted to give Princess Platinum some explanation about them too.
It is during our journey back that I’ve recorded their story. Over the years, especially recently, I have kept this priceless document in secret. It is a rough draft of what I’ve would write to the princess later on, but since those two have come to power, they have purged every bit of information regarding about their past. Below, transcribed from the original notes, was that rough draft:
To her Grace and Most Merciful Princess Platinum,
The story of the fillies, (in which I have named Sunny and Moony,) is indeed a sad tale. While although very young and have not received their cutie marks, the children have suffered the worst of Equinity then any other pony before or since.
After gaining their trust, and listening carefully to their history, I present to you, Princess Platinum, for your consideration of the care of these unique ponies.
According to them, Sunny and Moony were born to a mother who has lived somewhere in the regions of the great Everfree Forest. What had happened to the mother is unknown, but what is clear is that they were both abandoned to wander the wilderness alone. At least, that is what the Red Maple Circus had told them. For most of their lives, because of their physical deformities, the two fillies were raised by the circus and even put on display during their infant years.
For as long as both of them could remember, they were not referred to as ponies, but as freaks. Until recently, they were not given any proper names other than “It,” and “Thing.” Even when they’ve learned how to speak, the Ring Master of the circus saw them as animals. Yet, this was only the very start of his cruelty.
Sunny told me that there was an accident a few years ago in which changed how they were treated. Up until then, the other freaks considered both fillies as one of them as they too had deformities and oddities. The children remembered how they used to sleep in the same tent as the other freaks that they saw them as a family. Where they ate at the same table, looked after them, and even were kind to them until a fire broke out in which changed how they were seen.
During the fire, the children were caught in the big top when it was burning and collapsing on them. While there were a few ponies that had perished and burned beyond recognition, the two fillies were able to walk out of it without a mark on them. Everypony, including the Ring Master, had seen them walked through a wall of fire and came out unharmed.
It was from there that the real tortures began. The things that the Ring Master had done to them, the methods in which he tries to see what they can endure, are unmentionable. Moony described to me of an experiment in which the Strong Stallion took part in. She told me that the Ring Master was curious to see how far her limbs could bend before the bones broke. Moony confessed to me in tears of the pain of her legs were being disjointed and severed as the pony twisted one limb at a time, even when he tried to kill her by snapping her neck, she survived.
Another torture, described by Sunny, was as an act before an audience, she was fretted down at the center ring in which she was doused in oil before it was lit by a torch. The intensity of the heat was so great, as she recalled that she had passed out at one point, much to the anger of the Ring Master.
When it became clear unto the circus that the children are immortal and immune to death’s advances, the ponies no longer saw them as someone, but as something to be feared. Because of this trait, the other freaks became uneasy, even frightened of them to the point that they were seen as dangerous. Because of this, the circus insisted that for now on, they would spend the rest of their lives behind a cage. On in which that since they have the horn of Unicorns, they feared that they would easily escape by magic. So they fashioned the bars, chains, and collars in which etched into the metal were writings and symbols that I have yet to decipher.
After that, the circus took out their frustrations and aggression upon them. As Sunny and Moony told me, they were beaten regularly, neglected food and water for weeks at times, spat upon, called them names beyond “Freaks,” and force them into cruel and unusual punishments in which I’m not certain what those punishments were since they outright refuse to speak about it. While I have theories of what atrocities were committed, for once I prefer that it is better to be ignorant of such things, then to know precisely what happened.
Naturally, this abuse installed fear and suspicion of any pony that they come across. Even as I am writing this, the fillies have kept a distance away from me. I believe that even after I’ve saved them from their captivity, they fear that I may do something unto them. I have tried throughout this journey to gain their trust in me, and though it’s gradually working, a part of them is still not convincing of my intentions to know their story.
Princess Platinum, I humbly ask that these children should be given better treatment. As Equestria is founded upon the ideas of kindness and friendship, these fillies need these ideals now more than ever. I recommend that they shall be given a purpose beyond the sideshow of a circus freak, in that they should be given the rights and privileges of this new kingdom. I can see in these two that they have great potential for the progression of Equestria. I ask you and the other tribes to welcome them with open hooves, to teach them the ways of this young nation in its values and culture.
I have the honor to be your obedient servant,
– Starswril.
(As a side note: As to the “punishments” that I have mentioned, to this day both Princesses refuse to say what exactly they did to them. I confess that I have a few guesses, but until Celestia or Luna says so otherwise, it will forever remain unknown.)
It took many moons to reach the small kingdom, but when we were in the safety of its borders, I introduced the two fillies to not only Princess Platinum but the other leaders as well including Chancellor Puddinghead and Commander Hurricane. They were welcomed into the court because they were seen then as curiosities, and the Princess insisted that if they were going to adopt them as citizens they had to be given legal names. Thus Celestia and Luna Everfree began their new lives in Equestria, while Platinum had sent me eastward on my quest for knowledge.
All these years, their story still lingers in the back of my mind. All those things, the atrocities that were done to them at such a young age, I often wonder how it would affect them in the future. Of course, it did take them many years to be able to trust another pony again or ponies see them often enough to consider them normal. Yet, even as I write this, they come to me to talk about their nightmares at the circus – of their sadistic audience that volunteered to torture to their heart's content. At the same time, whenever I try to confront them further of their past, they would get angry or try to avoid the subject altogether.
Still, I wonder… What effect does that have on their minds that the past might still be haunting them? They may have learned how to be kinder than the average pony and to take up help whenever another kingdom needed it. Still, I often wonder if the shadow of the big tent still looms over their minds, that their view of the dark side of Equineity is still there.
I do hope that they have grown out of their horrific past. After all that pain, it’s a marvel that they haven’t become villains themselves. I will at least give myself credit for taking out of that dreaded situation, but I fear that at least one of them hasn’t looked back at the horror that was done to them. If either of them did, then I’m afraid that Equestria might have a monster, the likes of which the world has never seen.
As I am writing this, Princess Luna has been retreating herself from the public and court eye, leaving her elder sister to take her place. Perhaps she is taking time off for herself, after all, everypony needs some alone time now and again. However… I do hope that her distrust in ponies hasn’t resurrected itself from the days of the Red Maple Circus.