Rifted
My depression is a road of anguish written in blood. The dark, never-ending spiral of descent has barely allowed me to keep my sanity. The world use to be a dark, traumatic place, and it seems I am the only one with any memory of it. A thousand years, all of them lost to the endless stream of time. All of that time lost on the darkside of the moon, by myself and only myself. Wallowing in the pits of despair and hatred, just to return to a time of peace and happiness. I fear that I am the only one who is stuck, all alone, in this pit of agony. This crippling loneliness would destroy a normal pony, but I am far from a normal pony. I am Luna La Moon, Princess of Darkness. My past is carved in blood, sorrow, and jealousy. The horrors of what I have committed in my mad quest for power are not lost to me. In fact, my broken mind sometimes relishes in it. In this world that my sister has created, however, I truly believe there is redemption for anypony. Even if I would be thrown into an asylum if anypony were to glimpse into my shattered mind. Nay, if any being were to take that plunge, they would throw themselves from the nearest window.
I have decided that this world my sister has created is a pinnacle of peace. A shining beacon in the flowing river of time. Though, what is one small beacon in the endless stream of the very universe itself? I do not try to justify what I’ve done, or what I will do, however, I can no longer be trapped by this lonely fear. I can not.
“Lulu?” My sister's voice came from the other side of my doorway. I took a few seconds to clear my mind and collect myself before I opened the door with a smile.
“Yes, Tia?” I hugged the tall, white Alicorn before me. Despite the resentment I once felt for her, I truly loved my sister. She was the only one who shared my past with me and knew my pain.
“Twilight said she had a surprise for you.” My heart skipped a beat, “She says she ‘made a breakthrough!’.” She wanted to come and tell you herself, but I know how she can be.” I smirked for half a second, but covered it up with a soft smile.
“Well thank you, Sister.”
“It’s nothing, Lulu. So does this mean you’re going to tell me about your little project with my former student?” Celestia pried.
“Have a little more patience, dear sister.” I grinned, walking past her.
“I suppose I have royal duties to attend regardless.” She pouted.
“Good luck with those snobbish nobles.” I turned and hugged her once more.
“And good luck with that mysterious research project.” She hugged me back. We parted ways and I took a different hallway than her, making myself into mist and seeping through the cracks of the castle floor. As I crept through the stonework, my elation grew stronger. I wondered what Twilight had discovered, and made myself giddy like a school filly. Would that lone void in me finally be filled? I would wish for nothing more.
Celestia and Twilight were both amazing ponies, but for all their love and understanding, they are not like me. Their love is unmatched in quantity, but the type of love I seek is more quality. Not even Cadence could help me with my endeavor, though not for lack of trying. What I needed was somepony, or someone, who has felt pain like my own and can truly love my broken mind without pity. I reached the room of study at last, seeping through the ceiling and forming my solid body back.
“Luna!” I heard Twilight exclaim. I turned and spotted the purple Alicorn behind me.
“I hear you made a breakthrough?” I asked, my heart swelling with hope. A large grin split Twilight’s face.
“Yes! I’m glad you asked. I managed to stabilize the Rift Gate.” She proudly stated, causing my heart to leap into my throat. “And, on top of that, it’s now self-sustaining!” I looked closer at the purple bookworm in front of me, and noticed her frazzled hair. Bloodshot eyes met mine and I stepped forward to hug her. As I pulled her into my embrace, the poor dear practically collapsed into my forelegs.
“Thank you, Twilight. Truly.” I stroked her mane. “Rest now, you’ve done more than enough.” I let my magic softly envelop her before teleporting her back to her room, and subsequently, her bed. I took a deep breath and began to walk down the spiral staircase in the center of the room.
Each step pumped my already racing heart even more. Soon, my chest was overcome with a blazing inferno. I burned so desperately for someone who could truly love me without pity. I finally reached the bottom of the staircase and looked upon the glowing portal with ambition. I took in and committed the whole room to memory. From the magic glyphs on the floor, to the radiant purple portal against the far wall. I wished to dive headfirst through the beautiful miasma of cool colors, but I controlled my body to only take one step at a time.
“Study one.” I stated as I lifted my hoof, and slowly moved it towards the center of the portal. I laced it with magical protection, then entered it into the Rift. The portal sparked and quivered, however, an oddly soothing feeling overcame me. I felt myself being pulled forward, but was able to use my willpower to resist the urge. My restraint grew weaker when I heard a calming voice whisper in the back of my mind. I closed my eyes and focused my attention on my hoof. Suddenly, something almost like a monkey paw grasped it. I took the chance and gripped it with my magic, pulling my hoof back through the Rift Gate. A tannish paw with five digits was struggling to let go of my hoof. Primal fear, maybe? It mattered not, my grip was stronger than this creatures. I pulled it all the way through, and a tall, bipedal, hairless ape stumbled from the rift, looking bewildered. Nay, it had short hair on its head, and a light coating on its arms and face. We locked shocked eyes and stayed staring for a moment. I wondered what was going through it’s head, but I found out soon enough.
“What. The. Fuck.” The voice was masculine, but the words no less irritating.
“Result, first contact.” I growled, gritting my teeth. The creatures eyes widened even further, and he promptly fainted. I cast a deadpan gaze at the odd creature in front of me. “Well, I found a new species. Sentient too. Too bad he’s easily shocked.” I couldn’t stop a small smile from spreading across my face as I looked upon the fallen creature and back to the portal. However, my smile quickly faded faded as the Rift became extremely unstable. I erratically fed magic into the Gate. Unfortunately, I did not know how Twilight had managed to stabilize the magic. After realizing the futility of my actions, the Rift slammed closed. My eyes widened and my instincts kicked in. I leapt over the creature's body and wrapped my wings over us both just before the Rift exploded. Agony slammed against my body, scorching my fur and feathers with magical energy. Not even the shield I erected could handle the blast. The few seconds of sheer pain could have lasted as long as my entombment, for all I knew. I slowly unclenched my eyes, and met those of the creature under me. His shock was apparent, but the excruciating pain I felt made me too dizzy to care.
“Why?” He croaked. All I could muster was a half-ass smile before my head hit the cold bricks of the floor.
~~~
When I opened my eyes again, I was greeted by a sterile white ceiling. As I turned my head, my neck cried out in pain, and I quickly followed suit.
“Lulu!” I winced internally at my sister’s worried tone.
“Hello, Tia.” My voice was hoarse, but for some reason it carried a hint of amusement. Unfortunately, it was not lost to my ever-observant other half.
“What’s so funny? I thought I was going to lose you again!” From worried to livid in seconds, that’s the goddess of the sun for you.
“Please, Tia, it’s going to take more than an exploding Rift Gate to kill me.” That was a lie. A boldfaced lie. I honestly had no idea how I was still able to breathe, let alone move. Celestia sighed and shook her head.
“What were you thinking, Lulu?” My breath hitched in my throat.
‘I-” The hitch caused me to break out in a coughing fit.
“Luna, just rest for now. We can talk about this later.” Celestia sighed.
“Tia… Where’s the creature?” I asked.
“Well, that’s no way to talk about someone who carried you out of there.” A masculine voice mused from my other side. My head quickly turned to look at the creature beside me. The pain I felt was truly excruciating for overexerting myself, but I somehow knew that this was more important. I opened my mouth to give my thanks, but he beat me to it.
“Thank you, I… I don’t know why you pulled me through that portal, but that makes twice you’ve saved my life. I owe ya, big time.” His words were true, I could tell by the slightly quivering tone and the tears welling in his eyes.
“...You’re welcome. And thank you, for saving my life as well.” I smiled.
“Now that that’s out of the way,” He smiled back as he spoke, “I believe introductions are in order. My name is Henry.” Henry extended his hand towards me. I don’t understand why, but I put my hoof in his hand and shook it. Come to think of it, how did I know what his paw was called?
“Mine is Luna. I have some questions. Celestia,” I turned towards my sister, my magical burns crying out. “Can you please fetch Twilight?”
“Yes, I would like to talk to her as well.” Celestia’s tone was not a friendly one.
“Dear sister, I sent her to her room after she stabilized the Gate, which I also asked for her assistance in. This burden is mine to bear.” Celestia narrowed her eyes at me.
“Very well.” The princess of the sun stood and made her exit, getting a soft sigh of relief out of me.
“So, do you have a last name?” Henry asked.
“My full name is Luna La Moon.”
“We seem to speak the same language, so isn’t that kind of repetitive?” If anyone else had spoken to me in such a way, I would have thrown them from the infirmary window. However, much to my dismay, all I could manage was a light giggle.
“Yes, it is, isn’t it?” What of your last name?”
“Hancock. Henry James Hancock.” He smiled.
“So, Mister Hancock, you said that I saved your life twice? I only remember doing so once.” I noticed a grimace streak across his face.
“Please, call me Henry. I don’t understand it at this moment, but I feel like I can trust you. Like we are… Connected somehow. However, as much as I feel that you won’t judge me, I can’t tell you.” He hung his head. A very worried feeling welled in my chest, but I knew deep down that he was telling the truth. That worried me even further.
“I understand. I also feel this ‘connection’ you speak of. That’s part of the reason that I asked Twilight here.” I spoke softly.
“Who is this ‘Twilight’ character? I know that she helped you with the portal, but who is she?” Henry inquired.
“A very powerful mage, and the Princess of Friendship. Celestia is the Princess of the Sun, and Cadence is the Princess of Love, and I am the Princess of the Moon.” I gave him a brief rundown on our expanding hierarchy.
“I see…” He leaned back, eyes to the ceiling. “This world… How peaceful is it?” A dark, miserable look took over his eyes. A look that made my very core hurt for him. This man has seen death, and quite a bit of it.
Could he be the one?
“Unbroken, now.” I answered simply, casting away the light in my eyes as they met his.
“Well, this is a surprise. I haven’t met anyone who can look me in the eyes for a long time. And no one has ever been able to match the despair in them either.” His tone was that of genuine shock.
“I could say much of the same to you. Perhaps there’s more to this meeting than pure coincidence.” I mused.
“Perhaps so… Though, I have never been one for fate.” The door suddenly flung open and Twilight flew in.
“Luna! I’m so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happ...en?” She caught sight of Henry and her eyes widened.
“Hiya.” Henry waved, “I’m from the other side.” Twilight was frozen in place for all of five seconds. Then, Henry was bombarded with a barrage of questions. They ranged from his species to the quality of his big toe.
“Hey, hey, hey!” She didn’t stop at his words. After a flat look, he walked over to her and gently tapped her muzzle. Twilight recoiled and scrunched her nose. “Shh.” Henry put his finger to his lips. “Hush, little pony. I will answer every question I can, but please, one at a time?”
“I would appreciate not being talked down to.” Twilight gave him a narrow look.
“You’d appreciate the condescension a lot more if I talked to you with my full attention.”
So it’s true… I thought, looking towards Celestia. Our eyes met and I shook my head. She nodded and laid a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder.
“That’s enough, Twilight.” Celestia spoke gently. Twilight turned back to argue, just to be met with my sister's infamous motherly gaze.
“I can’t argue with that look.” She sighed.
“Thank you.” Henry nodded to Celestia.
“I can see the despair in you better than you think, but you should have a conversation with Luna when she recovers.” I opened my mouth to reprimand my sister, but Henry once again cut me off.
“Yes, I believe that is a good idea.” I didn’t have to ask why. I knew that he, Henry, was the one that I desperately needed to talk to.
“Twilight, I need you to scan our respective mana and aura’s. You’re the most talented pony for the job.” I stated, looking over to her.
“You got it, Luna!” Twilight lit up her horn and a purple energy enveloped Henry and I. After a few seconds of the man to my left looking awestruck at his glowing fingers, Twilight scrunched her face.
“I don’t know what happened in the Rift Gate room, but it seems as though your energies have… Fused, so to speak.” Twilight spoke carefully, retracting her magic. She shifted her gaze to me and smiled wholeheartedly. She didn’t need words to convey the message. He was the one I’d been searching for.
“So this means that we are connected.” Henry mused.
“It would seem so.” I could barely contain my elation.
“Sister, I recommend that you Dreamwalk with him.” Celestia stood, brushing Twilight with her wing. The purple Alicorn took the hint and stood with my sister, who looked over to Henry. “In the meantime, we shall set you up with quarters in the castle.”
“Royal livings, eh? Well, from one side of the spectrum to the other doesn’t sound so bad.” Henry smiled, “Thank ya, Princess.” Celestia nodded and made her exit, Twilight in tow.
“Luna, I know we are connected, but that doesn’t change my views on some things.” Henry spoke, not wasting any time.
“I would not expect it to. However, I believe Dreamwalking would benefit us both. I can teach you to filter what you wish me to know, but we both need better understanding of each other's worlds.” I said, reaching my hoof out to his hand. He sighed.
“I’m not stupid enough to say that you’re wrong.” He paused, internally debating the situation. “Ah why not. Let’s do it.”
“Okay, then I shall enter your mindscape. Are you prepared?” My heart fluttered in my chest.
“Shouldn’t you recover first?” He raised his eyebrow, “I’m not trying to make excuses either, but I’m still awake too.” He pointed out, inciting a giggle from me.
“Nay, I have recovered enough magic for this.” I smiled softly, “Also, I have a spell that can make you sleep for a predetermined amount of time.”
“That sounds dangerous.”
“Only if I wish it to be.” My smile crooked, and I could tell that Henry had caught the malevolent glint in my eyes.
“Whew, you’ve got a look that could kill.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment, but this will feel good either way.” Henry stepped back.
“What do you-” Magic careened off my horn and knocked him out before he could finish. I smirked to myself and leapt into his mind.
I found myself in an oddly white place. Padding seemed to line the walls like mattresses. I let out an audible gasp as my vision trailed over to Henry. His defeated form was leaned against a wall, bound in a strait-jacket. His sunken eyes shot up to meet mine. After a moment of shock between us both, realization struck him.
“You weren’t suppose to see this…” Henry sighed, the strait-jacket disappearing in a puff of smoke.
“You can control your dreamscape very well when you know it’s fake.” I smiled.
“Luna, let’s not change the subject.”
“Henry… Would you like to know something about my past?” I sighed softly.
“Do I have to tell you why I was in the nuthouse?”
“No.” I stated simply, receiving a nod from him. “Long ago, my sister and I ruled this land under unity and peace. However, being the guardian of the moon, ponies slept soundly through my beautiful night. I was lonely. My sister, on the other hoof, was praised and adored for bringing forth the sun. As the years crawled by, my jealousy and loneliness festered. Eventually, it overcame me.” I gradually began to morph myself into Nightmare Moon. “This was the physical form of my despair.” I paused, letting that sink in. “Soon after my transformation, I challenged my sister for the throne. I sought to banish the sun and cast the world into eternal night. I will never forget the horrors that I committed during that time, the things I did to ponies to get what I wanted… Were unspeakable. My sister defeated me in the end, but the only way to do that was to banish me to the moon for a thousand years. I have only recently returned.” I hung my head, expecting harsh reprimands. I did not, however, expect a hug.
“Luna, you experienced the worst kind of loneliness. I can not imagine being in isolation for so long.” He pulled back, eyes dark as night. “When I was young, about thirteen, I watched a demon rip my mother in two. It then decided to make my father and I watch as it… Raped my younger sister.” A cold spike of ice ran through my heart. In his world, such evil could exist? The tears rolling down his face quickly made me realize that these creatures were, in fact, as cruel as he made them out to be.
“The horror put my sister into a vegetable-like state, the look of permanent fear etched into her face. I believe that wretched thing stole her soul, right before it…” Henry’s voice began to hitch, “It… It ate my father right in front of me. I can still remember every sickening crunch or bone and squelch of flesh. Every cry of agony, river of blood, and scream of horror as my father was torn apart.” Henry took a shaky breath. “In my world, most people think spirits and demons are mere legends. When the police came, I was a mess; covered in blood, half of which wasn’t even mine, clutching my naked sister as I screamed myself hoarse. I lived out in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere too, so not a single person believed me. If it weren’t for my father being Sheriff, I would have been executed.” Henry looked down, then back up to me as he gripped my shoulders. “Do you understand, Luna? They convicted and blamed me for everything that happened that night. I was thrown into the insane asylum shortly after. They punished me as much as they could, just short of the death I so craved. After six years, your hoof came through a portal in my cell.” I looked into the eyes of this man before me, and cast the room around us into oblivion.
“I believe you, Henry” The despair that radiated from his form was pierced by the tiniest speck of light. “I can’t say that I know how you feel, but I won't let you wallow… Not alone.” I draped a wing over him and pulled him into my embrace. “You don’t have to be lonely any longer. You always have a friend to talk to in me.” Henry froze for a moment, then wrapped his arms around me tightly.
“You don’t either, Princess of the Night. Maybe this was the hand of fate, bringing together two lost souls so they may be found.” His tears began to seep through my fur, as well as my own running down my face.
“That was very poetic.” I smiled softly.
“I’ve had a lot of time to practice.” He chuckled, pulling away.
“You know, so have I. After this dreamwalk, would you like to do some poetry reading?” I offered.
“I’d love to.” Henry smiled, the despair in his eyes having been pushed back by the rays of hope. I let my magic spiral up the tip of my horn, and touched it to his forehead. A plethora of knowledge flooded through my neural pathways. It only took a few second for me to learn everything I needed to know about humanity.
This is wrong. Henry… He deserves so much more than this agonizing loneliness. No being should have to endure what he has, and then not be believed. To be punished for watching your family be destroyed. My hatred for the unfairness of his situation is unmatched. After all, I think I’m beginning to fall for this human.
“Luna…” Henry spoke gently. I realized what he had done before he broke the connection and hugged me even tighter than before. “When a door is opened, it can be stepped through by either side. And I… I feel the same.” My heart soared in my chest. I had finally done it. I had found the one just for me. The one to break the tides of my loneliness, as I help him with his.
“Oh, Henry…” I smiled and wrapped my wings around him.
“How does that poetry sound?” Henry asked.
“It sounds delightful.” I laughed, breaking away and dissolving the dreamscape around us.