Sweetie Belle engages in a game war with Princess Luna.
Sweetie Belle wants to play games in peace with her friends, but Princess Luna has decided that she has other plans for the poor filly. Game suggestions are welcome and encouraged!
(You do not need to read 1000 Years of Chess and Nightmare Moon to understand the story, though it makes the story itself more enjoyable)
It was a Saturday evening, and Rarity was working on her latest line to send to her boutique in Canterlot when she heard a shout from upstairs, startling her.
Unbeknownst to Rarity, Sweetie Belle had shouted because the Minecraft server she was on with her fellow Crusaders, had a troll. A troll going by the name of ‘PrincessLunaIsBestPrincess’. Sweetie knew it was the Princess of the Night, since she was known to be a massive gamer, and a massive troll. She sighed in defeat, knowing she’d have to go back, get her supplies, and go try and build her clubhouse elsewhere. She put her headset back on, just in time to hear Applebloom yelling at her own screen at Luna. And the Scootaloo began screaming at Luna as well.
“Come on guys, let’s just go build our clubhouse somewhere else,” said Sweetie Belle.
“And how do y’all plan on goin’ where the Princess can’t find ya?” asked Applebloom.
“Why, I’ll kill her myself,” replied Sweetie.
****
Rarity had just gotten finished and was cutting the fabric for the next dress when the screams of, “Die, Luna, DIE!!!!” scared her so much, she ended up cutting the fabric in half. She went to yell for her younger sister to quiet down when she was interrupted by another round of shouts.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I’LL GET YOU PRINCESS, EVEN IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!”
Rarity walked upstairs to see the filly sitting at her computer, in complete darkness, yelling at the computer and into her headset. Because of the yelling she didn’t notice Rarity walking up behind her until she ripped the headset off of Sweetie, turned off the computer, and said, “Go to bed!”
As Sweetie Belle drifted off to sleep, she drifted into a dream with a familiar setting. She sat in the CMC clubhouse, and standing at the podium, grinning smugly, wearing a blue headset, was her gaming nemesis, Princess Luna.
“Hello, Sweetie Belle,” said the Princess, casually.
Sweetie Belle, on the other hand was in a mood that was anything but casual. She stomped up to the alicorn, and began speaking in pleasant tone that was extremely forced.
“Boy did you make a mistake messing with me.”
With this, she shook herself awake, creeped past Rarity’s bedroom as not to wake her, slipped into the computer room, put on the headset, turned on the computer and whispered into her headset,
“Applebloom? Scootaloo? Either of you there?”
“They’ve both gone to bed, along with everypony else, except the pony running the server,” said Luna, much to Sweetie Belle’s shock.
“You hacked into my headset?!” cried Sweetie Belle.
“Of course,” replied Luna. “If I’m going to go through the trouble of being the ultimate troll to a particular pony or group of ponies, I make sure to do it professionally.”
This only fueled Sweetie’s rage, which Luna seemed to notice as she chuckled into the headset.
“Meet me in the survival world when you are ready,” said Luna.
An hour later and Sweetie decided she was ready. Luna had been quiet during the hour, but when Sweetie Belle announced she was ready, Luna sighed and said,
“Finally. If it weren’t for the fact that if somepony leaves the server, there’s a message stating that they’ve left, I’d have thought you’d left.”
Sweetie Belle growled but was filled with determination. She had found enough diamonds to make a chestplate and sword, and used iron to make the rest of her armor and backup swords. When she spawned in, she immediately wished she had spent more time getting supplies. “WHAT!?!?” yelled Sweetie, before remembering that her sister was asleep. As she leaned back to see if she woke her sister, Luna said into the mic,
“I see you noticed my complete set of diamond armor. And don’t worry about Rarity. She’s having a fashion dream. It’s impossible to get her to wake up from one of those.”
Sweetie Belle sighed and readied herself for battle when all of a sudden,
“BONZAI!!!!” yelled Luna. The sound of explosions filled Sweetie’s ears. She was about to scream when she remembered Rarity was down the hall sleeping. Sweetie took a deep breath and calmed herself.
“You know what, Princess?” said Sweetie Belle.
Luna calmed her laughing. “Yeah?”
“I challenge you… to a game of…. CHESS!”
Luna snorted, “Yeah, not a good idea.”
“And why is that?” Sweetie Belle countered.
“Because I spent 600 years playing chess against myself.”
Sweetie was confused. “600 years? Against yourself?”
Luna sighed, “Long story, don’t ask.”
But Sweetie Belle was adamant, “I still challenge you.”
Luna laughed. “Okay. Suit yourself.”
Sweetie Belle disappeared from the desk in a flash of blue light, much to Rarity’s surprise. Upon witnessing her little sister disappear, Rarity turned around and walked back into her room, muttering about no longer eating cookie dough before bed.
Sweetie Belle reappeared in a room that was immediately identified as Luna’s “mythical” gaming cave as evidenced by the multiple flat-screen monitors lining one wall, shelves of games lining another, and innumerable game systems hooked up to the various monitors. As for the location of the Princess of the Night, or the Princess of Gaming as Celestia called her, she was sitting in a GIANT beanbag chair that sat in the middle of the room next to a trash can overflowing with empty snack food bags, and a mini fridge with a mini freezer sitting on top. Luna got up with the experience of one who has used giant beanbag chairs for hundreds of years, which wasn’t far from the truth. She walked over to a small table in the corner and sat down in one of the two chairs. She gestured to Sweetie Belle to sit in the chair across from her. Sweetie got up, and sat in the chair. On the table in front of them, a chess board was sitting open with the pieces properly placed. Luna looked at Sweetie Belle with a smug expression.
“Ready?” was all she asked.
Sweetie Belle nodded her head with determination. “Ready,” she said. Luna moved her piece and the game began
{20 Games Later}
Sweetie Belle was fuming and exhausted. She had won once and she suspected the only reason she did win was that Luna let here to be nice. Luna was currently sipping a coffee while Sweetie Belle’s chocolate milkshake sat untouched, warm, and abandoned off to the side. Luna had gotten it for her during Sweetie Belle’s bathroom break as a surprise. Luna then noticed it and zapped it back into the mini-freezer.
“Do you give up?” asked Princess Luna.
Sweetie Belle shook her head vigorously. “Nope. Not for a while.”
{-----}
Halfway through their next game, Luna requested a bathroom break. When Luna returned she found Sweetie Belle slumped over on the table, drooling slightly, fast asleep, with chess pieces lying about. Luna smiled.
“Oh, well. She was losing anyways.”
Luna picked up Sweetie Belle and teleported the both of them to Sweetie’s room in Carousel Boutique. She tucked in Sweetie Belle, and after giving her a light, motherly kiss on the forehead (not that she would tell anyone), she wrote a quick note and set it on the nightstand next to Sweetie’s bed.
When Sweetie Belle woke up the next morning, she thought about what she had experienced last night. Preparing to dismiss it as a dream, or nightmare, depending on your point-of-view, a small note caught her eye. She picked it up in her magic and floated it over.
“Rest today, Sweetie Belle. Shall we continue tomorrow with Pinkie Pie’s dancing game? -Princess Luna,” she read aloud. She then proceeded to ball up the note and toss it into her garbage can before going downstairs grumbling. Rarity was sitting at the table in a bathrobe sipping some tea as Sweetie walked downstairs.
“Oh, hello Darling,” said Rarity. “I take it you slept well?”
Sweetie Belle nodded, her previous anger gone, having been overtaken by drowsiness. She began pouring herself a glass of orange juice.
“You know,” began Rarity, “I had the most peculiar dream last night.”
Sweetie Belle nodded, “Uh-huh.”
“You were in it. I had gone out to go to the bathroom when I saw sitting on the computer upstairs still. I was about to tell you to go to bed, but then you disappeared in a flash of blue light…”
Sweetie Belle nearly choked on her orange juice, eyes wide. “Oh, really,” she managed in between coughs, “That’s interesting.”
“Yes, it was. Do you have any idea where I could have gotten the idea from?” Rarity asked.
“Nope,” replied Sweetie Belle with nervous hastiness. “I went to bed when you told me and certainly didn’t spend the night playing chess against Princes Luna.” She laughed nervously.
Rarity raised an eyebrow in suspicion. “Well that was a weird response. But then again, it was a weird dream so I guess that’s that.” Rarity stood up. “Now, I have to go ask something of Twilight. Do you think you can manage the store while I’m out?”
Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yep. Don’t let anyone in while you are out and keep Opal out of the fabric room.”
“Good,” said Rarity. “Now, I must be off. See you later, darling.”
As soon as Rarity closed the door, Sweetie’s face thunked onto the table, fast asleep.
{-----}
Rarity knocked on the door of castle, which was opened by a bleary-eyed Starlight.
“Oh, hi Rarity,” said Starlight, pausing to yawn. “Come in, come in.” As Starlight waved her in sleepily, Rarity accepted the hospitality and walked inside.
“Do want breakfast? I made pancakes,” said Starlight.
“No, thank you dear, not today. Actually, I was wondering if I could borrow Spike for a moment.”
“Spike?” asked Starlight. “Sure, though you might want to cover your ears.”
“Why?” Rarity asked, though complying anyway.
“You’ll see in a sec,” said Starlight. She cleared her throat, then yelled, “SPIKE!!!!”
Spike came running down the hall.
“Yeah, Starlight?” he panted. He waved at Rarity. “Hi, Rarity.”
Starlight turned to her friend, “So… what’d you need Spike for?”
“I need to deliver a message to Princess Luna.”
Spike pulled out a quill and parchment as Starlight walked away. “Ready,” he said.
“Alright. I wish to say: ‘You took Sweetie Belle to play chess with you in your game cave last night, didn’t you?’”
Spike raised an eyebrow, “Really?”
Rarity put a hoof to her face, “Just write it and send it. I never said it made sense.”
Spike finished writing, and sent the letter on its way. A few moments later, he belched out the return letter. Spike picked it up and looked at it.
Rarity craned her neck to see. “Tell me what it says, please.”
“‘Nooo……’” Spike read.
“‘Noooo….’? What do you mean ‘Noooo….’? Is it bad?” asked Rarity, confused.
“No,” replied Spike. “That’s what it says. Look!”
He held it out facing her for her to read. When she finished reading, she sighed and said, “Looks like I need to pay a visit to the Princess of the Night.”
The next morning, Rarity woke Sweetie Belle up at the crack of dawn.
“Rarity, why are we up so early?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“We’re going to see Princess Luna,” replied Rarity with a falsetto kind tone.
With that sentence, Sweetie Belle was wide awake. By the time Sweetie got downstairs, Rarity had already made scrambled-eggs. Breakfast was silent with the tension of the impending visit. Sweetie Belle was nervous, while Rarity was determined.
{-----}
When the walked into the throne room, they were met with an interesting sight. Princesses Celestia and Luna sitting at a table with two empty chairs, some sort of board game, and Luna’s pet opossum, Tiberius, or Tib for short, wearing a referee hat. Princess Luna waved them over. As they walked over they got a better view of the board. Rarity’s face fell, while Sweetie Belle’s lit up. The game displayed before them was Monopoly. Sweetie Belle was ecstatic. She was great at Monopoly. Sweetie Belle climbed into one of the chairs while Rarity climbed up into the other.
“Hello Rarity. Sweetie Belle,” said Princess Celestia. “Care to join us for a game of Monopoly?”
“Yes!” said Sweetie Belle, but at the same time, Rarity said,
“I’m sorry Princess but we’re going to have to decline. I came here to speak to Princess Luna-”
“About Luna and Sweetie Belle’s little “game war” as Luna phrased it. Yes, she told me about it. I personally think it’s wonderful that Luna has found someone who shares her interests.” Celestia flashed Sweetie Belle a grateful smile.
Rarity was flabbergasted, “You… you do?”
“Yes! I’m so sorry you won’t be able to join us-”
“Oh, no, Princess. Now that the matter has been resolved I suppose we can stay for one game. Although, I have to ask, who’s the opossum and why is it here?”
Luna bristled, “That opossum is the Royal Pet of the Princess of the Night, Tiberius the Brave! And he is here as our mediator to make sure nopony cheats. He shall be present at all our future gaming excursions. He spent the past night educating himself on the rules of Monopoly. Now down to business…. Dibs on the racecar!”
“I call the thimble!” cried Sweetie Belle.
“I’ll take the top hat, then,” said Rarity.
“I’ll take the battleship, I suppose,” said Princes Celestia.
{1 Hour Later}
Rarity was bored. She had been the first one out, losing almost half her bits to Sweetie Belle’s hotel on the Boardwalk, and then the rest to the Income Tax square. Celestia had begun losing money to both Luna and Sweetie Belle, eventually forking over her two railroads to Sweetie Belle. By this point Luna was looking nervously and Sweetie Belle was cackling as if she’d lost her mind. Luna picked up the dice and rolled a six, and landed on the chance card. She lifted it up, read and then cringed, groaning at the same time.
“Oh, come ON!” yelled Luna.
“What was it, Princess?” asked Rarity, suddenly interested by Luna’s reaction. Luna flipped the card over to show everyone the side. It read: ‘Take a stroll to Pony Place’. Sweetie Belle grinned widely.
“C’mon Princess, fork ‘em over.”
“No. I refuse,” Luna replied indignantly.
Tib scuttled across the table and pulled on Luna’s mane and squeaked.
“But, Tibby-” Luna began, but was cut off by a series of squeaks.
“But she’ll win…” whined Luna.
If a opossum could give chastising looks, Tib was certainly doing just that to Princess Luna.
“Ok. Fine. I’ll give her the money,” Luna grumbled. Tib seemed to smirk at his success. As Luna pushed over her last remaining bits and properties in an effort to pay off her debt.
“HAHA!” Sweetie Belle crowed. “I won! I finally beat Princess Luna!”
Luna snorted, and said, “While that may be so, I’m still winning overall with 2 out of 3 games.”
Sweetie Belle’s grin faded some. “Well at least I get to pick the next game.”
Luna nodded.
“Until then.” With that, she teleported away. As Celestia used her magic to put the game and all its pieces back into the box, she leaned over to Sweetie Belle and whispered in her ear, “Sweetie Belle, I can’t thank you enough for doing these with Luna. Ever since she returned she’s been having trouble connecting with others. I think this may finally be a turning point. So, thank you.”
Sweetie Belle blushed. “Oh, it’s nothing, Princess Celestia. And, for the record, she started it.” Sweetie Belle winked.
Celestia giggled, “Oh, I’m not surprised. And whenever you are in Canterlot and we meet on less formal terms like today, you can drop the ‘Princess’ title. I’m fine with it if it’s for formal occasions but times like these, it’s nice to just feel like another pony, you know?”
Sweetie Belle nodded, “Will do, Celestia.”
“Come on Sweetie Belle, time to go,” said Rarity. “Thank you for having us, Princess.”
“Oh it was no trouble,” replied Celestia as they walked away.
“Bye, Celestia!” said Sweetie Belle, waving.
“Goodbye, Sweetie Belle. See you again soon, I hope,” Celestia called back.
“Will do!” Sweetie Belle managed before the throne doors closed.
Celestia sighed, smiling. As she teleported the box back to Luna’s gaming room, she walked up and sat in her throne. ‘It was nice while it lasted,’ she thought. “Send in the first dispute, please!” called Celestia as she began her royal duties.
As soon as Sweetie Belle and Rarity walked out the door, they were pulled of to the side by a Royal Guard.
“I hate to be a bother, but, which one of you is Sweetie Belle?” He asked politely.
“That would be me,” replied Sweetie Belle, confused.
The guard nodded and fished a small piece of paper out of his armor pocket. “Princess Luna asked me to give this to you.” Rarity sighed as Sweetie Belle took the note. The guard remained standing there, watching. Rarity looked up and saw him.
“Umm… darling,” she said. “You don’t have to watch.”
The guard was about to reply when Sweetie Belle spoke up, “Actually, he’s supposed to escort me to Princess Luna’s ‘Awesome Gaming Cave of Gaming Awesomeness’,” read Sweetie Belle. The guard nodded. Sweetie Belle continued, “‘Also, don not worry Rarity, you can go home if you wish. I promise to make sure Sweetie Belle is returned home in a timely manner.’” Rarity shook her head,
“Alright, go ahead. But be sure to ask her who named her gaming space that, would you?” asked Rarity.
Sweetie Belle nodded as she walked away with the guard. The guard cleared his throat and said, “Ummm…. So I am to be your Royal Escort every time you come to the Castle, at the request of Princess Luna.”
“Oh. That’s cool! Well, if you are to be my Royal Escort whenever I visit the castle, which I get the feeling will be a lot more frequently these days, what’s your name?”
The guard was taken aback. “M-my name?”
Sweetie Belle nodded, “You already know my name so I want to know yours. I like making new friends,” she said with a smile.
The guard nodded. “I suppose it would be more practical to say my name rather than ‘Mr. Royal Escort. In that case, my name is Sam.”
“Nice to meet you, Sam!” said Sweetie Belle, smiling.
Sam returned the smile. They reached the door to Luna’s room, which had a giant, white crescent moon on it. Sam raised a hoof and knocked.
Luna’s voice came through the door, “Who is it?”
“Sam! I brought Sweetie Belle, like you requested,” Sam replied.
Luna’s door swung open. “Excellent,” said Princess Luna, dragging Sweetie Belle inside.
“See you later, Sa-,” Sweetie was cut off as the door closed. Sam sighed, sat down beside the door and waited.
Luna pulled Luna through her room and down the stairs into the game cave.
“Hey Luna, the note said this place was called the ‘Awesome Gaming Cave of Gaming Awesomeness’. Did you let Rainbow Dash name it?”
“What gave it away?” said Luna, smiling despite rolling her eyes. “The use of the word ‘Awesome’?”
Sweetie nodded. When the reached the bottom, one of the monitors caught Sweetie’s attention. Looking over, she saw the screen showed a scoreboard, with two names: ‘Luna’ and ‘Sweetie Belle’. Under Luna’s name it displayed a ‘2’ while a ‘1’ shone under her own.
Luna turned around, a scroll in her magic. “So, what shall we play today? I compiled a list, just in case.” She beamed proudly.
Sweetie smirked, “Let’s have a race…”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
But Sweetie wasn’t finished, “... of PETS.”
Luna grinned. “That’s much better. TIBBY!”
Tiberius came scurrying out a small hole in the wall, climbed up Luna’s front leg, her chest, and the side of her face, stopping and sitting atop her head. Luna smiled.
“So who shall be Tibby’s competitor?”
Sweetie Belle thought for a moment, “Well, I suppose we could use Opalessence, but that might not be the best idea.”
Luna shrugged, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Sweetie raised an eyebrow.
{2 Moments Later}
It was absolute chaos. Luna was currently shrieking her head off, gripping Tib tightly away from Opal who was currently hissing and batting her paw in the air, attempting to get Tib. Sweetie Belle had thankfully managed to grab Opal’s tail in her magic before Tib could become a snack.
“WHY DID YOU LET HERE IN HERE?!?” screamed Luna.
“ME?!? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO TELEPORTED HER HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!” yelled Sweetie Belle over Opal. “Besides, I even said that this wasn’t a good idea!”
“She’s your cat!” yelled Luna.
“No, she’s Rarity’s cat! And that’s my point! Opal’s a cat, and Tib is a opossum! Cats eat small rodents! Just send her back already! I’m losing my grip!”
Luna’s horn flared, and in a flash of light, Opal had vanished. Luna released Tib, who immediately scrambled back into his hole to recover from the traumatizing experience of almost being eaten by a cat.
Luna sighed. “How about something relaxing?” she asked Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement. “Since the last one didn’t go so well, I think I’ll pick another one. Lemme see the list.” She waved her hoof as Luna floated the list over. Sweetie grabbed it and unrolled it. She scanned the list before one caught her eye. “How about Battleship?”
Luna nodded. “Works for me.” Her horn glowed and a box came flying off one of the shelves. Within a moment’s notice, the game was set up and ready to begin. The pair trudged over, weary from the excitement that had ended moments ago, and sat down opposite each other.
Once they had set their pieces into place, Luna began.
“Umm… how about… F4?”
Sweetie Belle glanced at her board.
“Miss. D2?”
“Miss? J7?”
Sweetie Belle grimaced. Luna had hit her submarine. “Hit. H5?”
Luna winced so subtly, Sweetie almost missed it. “Hit,” Luna said. Sweetie had gotten her destroyer. “I7?”
Sweetie shook her head. “Miss. H6?”
Luna sighed, “Hit.” It was going to be a long game.
{A Short While Later}
Luna was down to her Patrol Boat and had one hit left on her Aircraft Carrier before it went down. Sweetie Belle had one hit left before her Destroyer went down, and Luna had found her Battleship. And it was Luna’s turn.
“H4?”
Sweetie Belle groaned while Luna grinned. “Hit,” said Sweetie. “You sunk my Destroyer. But…” Sweetie smiled. “I know where your Aircraft Carrier’s last spot is.”
Luna’s face fell as Sweetie named her shot.
“B10.”
Luna nodded. “Sunk it. How about, hmmm… E8?”
Sweetie smiled. “Miss. Uh… let’s go with… er…. E5?”
Luna’s jaw dropped. “You cheated.”
Sweetie Belle recoiled. “What?! I hit something?!”
Luna nodded, “Yeah, you found my Patrol Boat. Bu-but how?!”
Sweetie shrugged. “Karma?”
Luna narrowed her eyes as Sweetie Belle giggled. “Shut up. D9.”
Sweetie Belle frowned. “Hit. F5?”
Luna sighed in relief. “Miss. C9.”
Sweetie Belle looked scared, giving Luna confidence that she would win.
“Hit,” said Sweetie Belle. She gulped. “Uh, E6?”
“Haha! Miss! Now I shall claim my win. B9!”
…
“Miss.”
“WHAT!?” Luna was shocked.
“You missed. Now I shall claim my win. D5.”
Luna sat there, stuttering gibberish. Sweetie Belle leaned over and placed the tab into the spot on the ship.
“I win,” she said, smiling. “Now I better get home. See you tomorrow, I bet.”
Luna just sat there, mouth hanging open.
Sweetie Belle walked out of Luna’s room, where she was met by Sam, who was playing Solitaire to pass the time. Upon seeing Sweetie Belle, he quickly swept up the cards.
“Judging by the look on your face, you won?” he asked.
Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yep.”
Sam went to speak again, but was cut off by Sweetie Belle,
“If you are going to ask about the screaming, don’t. You don’t want to know.”
Sam closed his mouth and began walking Sweetie Belle to the train station.
{Later that evening}
Celestia walked down the stairs of Luna’s gaming room, with a pizza box in her magic. When she got to the bottom, she was met with the sight of Luna, sitting at the table in front of a game, mouth hanging open.
“Uh, Lulu? You ok?” asked Celestia. The question seemed to snap Luna out of her trance.
“HOW?!?!” Luna whirled the game board around and looked at Sweetie Belle’s side. Upon seeing what had caused her failure, she got up, grumbling, stomped over to Celestia, and swiped the pizza box out of her magic. She immediately began eating the pepperoni slices.
“Uh.. I wanted some of that,” said Celestia, slightly miffed by her sister’s actions.
“Hush,” replied Luna. “This is my mope food for tonight.”
Celestia rolled her eyes, but made no effort to retrieve the pizza. Last time someone had taken her mope food… well, let’s just say that was the REAL reason Discord was turned into a statue, or at least the last straw. Celestia walked back upstairs to order another pizza for herself.
The next morning, Sweetie Belle awoke not on her bed, where she was certain she fell asleep the night before, but on a giant beanbag. When she looked up, her vision was immediately taken up by the face of one moon princess. Sweetie yelped in surprise.
“Oh, good, you’re up. Finally. Now down to business. What game are we doing today?”
Sweetie Belle yawned. “Don’t you think you are taking this too seriously? I mean, I’d like to at least have some time to fully wake up before gaming with you.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “There’s no such thing as ‘too seriously’ when in a game war,” Luna huffed indignantly.
Sweetie Belle nodded drowsily. She trudged over to the list on the wall and found one closer to the bottom. “How about Ogres and Oubliettes?”
Luna gawked at her. “I will never play such a rid-”
She never got to finish as there was a sudden white flash in the middle of the room. Fog filled the room, and a familiar voice rang out from the cloud.
“Did I just hear ‘Ogres and Oubliettes?”
There was a loud *SNAP!* and the most vanished in a similar flash as the previous one, revealing the speaker.
“What do you want, Discord?” asked Luna.
Discord grinned. “Well, I just happened to overhear that the great Princess Luna of Gaming (and the Night too, I suppose) wanted to play Ogres and Oubliettes.”
“I never said tha-.”
“Hush, Moonbutt, I’m not finished,” Discord interrupted as Luna bristled in fury at what Discord called her. Sweetie Belle giggled. “As I was saying, I heard Luna say she wanted to play O&O so I thought I would invite you two to ‘Guys Night’ at Twilight’s Castle tonight.” Discord grinned madly. Sweetie Belle nodded.
“Sure. So it’ll be me, you, and Luna?”
Discord shook his head, “No, not just us. We also have Spike and Big Mac, along with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.”
“Ok. Um… quick question. Could my friend Sam come?”
Discord shrugged. “Sure. Why not? More the merrier! See you tonight!”
With a snap of his fingers and a white flash, Discord was gone.
“Well, I’d better go get ready for tonight. See you then, Princess.”
Luna grumbled. “I don’t want to go.”
Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. “You know full well that if you don’t show up willingly, Discord will force you.”
Luna looked at Sweetie Belle. “You sound like Tia. But you’re right. Now you go along. I’ve already sent for Sam.”
Sweetie smiled. “Thanks, Princess!”
When Luna heard the door close, she spoke up. “So, you gonna come out of hiding now?”
Celestia walked out from the shadows, grinning. “You know, if you two are going to keep this up, she should be able to drop the ‘Princess’ bit. And, for the record, I think it’s wonderful that you agreed to go play Ogres and Oubliettes with them. It sounds like fun.”
A male voice spoke up, “With me there, of course it is.” Discord slithered down from the ceiling, wearing his trademark grin. “And I have a special surprise for you and Sweetie Belle when you arrive. I promise it’s benign.”
The Royal Sisters raised their eyebrows in sync.
Discord put a paw to his chest in mock offense. “Oh, ye of little faith. Here, I’ll prove it to you. I cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Celestia.
Pinkie’s head shot up out of a nearby box, startling the trio. “It means he’s absolutely serious about whatever he promised. He can’t break a Pinkie Promise.” And with that, Pinkie’s head lowered back into the box and vanished. The trio continued to stare at the box in silence until Discord spoke up.
“I think she might have gotten exposed to some dormant chaos before she was born.”
“Really?”
“How else do you explain the things she’s capable of?”
When Luna arrived at Friendship Castle, she saw Sweetie Belle waiting for her.
“Where’s Sam?” Luna asked.
“He’s busy with paperwork at the moment but he said he’d try and come by later.” replied Sweetie. “Ready?” she asked.
When Luna nodded, Sweetie lifted her hoof and knocked on the door. It swung open to reveal a smiling Starlight.
“Ah, here for ‘Guys Night’, I assume?” she asked.
Sweetie Belle nodded in reply. “Yep. Discord invited us earlier.”
Starlight nodded. “Alright then. Follow me, and I’ll lead you to their… room.”
Luna and Sweetie followed Starlight to a large door on the third floor. “RIght through here,” said Starlight. With that, Starlight teleported off somewhere else.
Sweetie looked at Luna. “Ready, Princess.”
Luna nodded. “Yes, but before we go in, I just wanted to say that whenever we are doing this, you don’t have to call me ‘Princess’. Just ‘Luna’ will be fine.”
Sweetie nodded and swung the door open. It opened to a large foyer, with a wheeled table in the middle surrounded by seven folding chairs. Five of the chairs were occupied by Spike, Big MacIntosh, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and a very smug looking Discord. Sweetie Belle and Luna sat down at the two remaining chairs. Sweetie sat on Pinkie’s right and Luna’s left, while to Luna’s right was Discord. On the table was the board for the game, with markers on the board, with crude drawings of the other five present. There two blank markers set in front of the newest arrivals along with a character creator sheet.
Spike spoke up, “So what you’re gonna want to do is name your character and select a class for them. Be sure to use your imagination.” He gave a sidelong glance at Discord, who stuck his tongue out in return.
Sweetie Belle began writing fervently while Luna sighed and began writing uninterestedly. About 5 minutes later, Sweetie and Luna put their pencils and displayed their character charts.
Sweetie Belle had chosen to name her character ‘Mistress Shamrock’. She had chosen a Druid as her class with skill points dedicated to spell-casting and intellect.
Luna had elected to name her character ‘Eclipse’. She had chosen a Ranger as her class with skill points assigned to strength and stealth. Spike then took the markers and drew on them, but he only showed them to Discord. He placed them on the board facing away from Luna and Sweetie.
Before either of them could turn them around, Discord raised his claw in the air.
When the flash of Discord's magic faded away, Luna and Sweetie were met with a peculiar sight. The room around them had been transformed into something that could only be described as different. The floor had become a brown grid, while the scenery around them was either cardboard cutouts of plants or giant, multi-sided die. But that wasn't the first thing they noticed.
They first noticed their friends' strange appearances. Discord had long blonde hair, with a green tunic, a bow, and quiver of arrows. Spike wore a tattered teal hat and cape, a light-blue shirt, and a gnarled staff with a crystal marble at the end. Big Mac had become a unicorn wearing a set of black armour, a sword and sheath, and a black helmet with a silver horn on both sides. Pinkie Pie's mane had been slicked back (sort of) under a striped cap with twin yellow feathers. She wore a tunic and pants of the same striped colour scheme. Rainbow had a grey hooded cloak, over which a darker cape was held on with a brooch that depicted her cutie mark. She wore a mask over her face and her wings were slightly messy.
"WOAH!!" cried Pinkie, as she gestured to Luna and Sweetie. "Look at YOU guys!!"
Luna and Sweetie looked down at themselves to see what Pinkie meant and were met with a surprise. Discord had changed them too. Sweetie Belle had a brown cloak, with a green leaf brooch, a faded saddlebag containing what Sweetie guessed were seeds for different plants, and a simple band of golden flowers atop her head.
Luna looked a bit different, however. Her mane was shorter and lighter than normal, resembling how it was right after her transformation from Nightmare Moon, except it had grime and filth in it, like it hadn't been washed in a good while. Her hooves were in a similar state of mess, while her simple brown tunic was riddled with holes. She had a bow slung around her neck, while her sword and quiver were hung on a simple grey belt. She also had a raggedy, dark brown cap on her head.
"What is the meaning of this?" Luna demanded.
"What? Is somepony mad because she no longer has her celestial mane?" Discord asked, smirking.
"No! Well, a little. But that doesn't matter! I want to know where we ar-!"
"What is THAT!?!" cried Sweetie Belle, pointing behind Big Mac. The others turned around to see a life-size game piece with an octopus wearing a crown and cape, and holding a wand. And it looked angry. Discord scoffed.
"Oh, that's just the Evil Squizard," he said with a dismissive wave of his paw.
Everyone looked at him nervously.
Discord froze. "Wait." He looked back at the Squizard, then back at his friends. He repeated this a couple times before commenting. "Oh, pooh. RUN!!!" Discord scrambled off, followed closely by the others.
A volley of arrows from skeleton archers rained down from the sky as the group ran. Sweetie grabbed a few of the seeds and threw them at the arrows. Suddenly everything froze around them. Discord vanished, only to reappear as a cloud.
"*ahem* A barrage of arrows rains down upon you. Roll a 15 or higher and the seeds sprout into a wall of vines, anything lower, and let's just say it won't be nice." He opened his mouth and a multi-sided dice rolled out along his extended tongue and landed in the middle of the group. Spike bent down and looked at it. "Oh no," he said. "14."
Discord winced. "Ok..." He vanished with a *POP* and reappeared beside Luna, back in his archer clothes. "Allons-y," he said. As soon as the words left his mouth, time resumed. The seeds plopped to the ground unceremoniously as the arrows descended upon them.
"Ow!" yelped Rainbow as an arrow struck her. There were many similar cries of pain as the barrage continued. The arrows ceased as the heroes reached a crossroads. "Go left!" cried Pinkie.
As they ran down the left, they approached a forest that looked very similar to another forest that was well known to all of them.
"Is that the Everfree Forest?" asked Sweetie as she ran alongside Spike.
"Nope," said Big Mac, who scooped up Sweetie Belle onto his back.
"It's called Mirkwood," said Spike. "It's based off the Everfree Forest, though!"
Just before the reached the entrance, a battalion of skeletons leapt out of the bushes along the road. Some wielded swords whilst others were armed with flails and maces.
Luna pulled out her sword and dived at the first skeleton. She sliced through it with ease, causing half of it to fall over before turning into dust. She was quickly overwhelmed, however. Big Mac leapt to aid Luna while Sweetie Belle fumbled around her saddlebag. She found a pouch labelled Flying Snapdragons. "Spike! Spike, I need your help!"
Spike came running over, zapping stray skeletons with his staff. As he came up beside Sweetie, the remaining three heroes surrounded them, in a defensive circle. Pinkie pulled out a recorder and began playing a song that sounded suspiciously like the one she used on the Parasprites, causing the skeletons to dance uncontrollably. Rainbow dive-tackled and a wrestling match ensued. Discord was firing arrows at the approaching archers at breakneck speed.
"What do you need, Sweetie? Oh, wait. We never established the name rules," Spike said.
"Name rules? Worry about that later! What do these do?" asked Sweetie as she floated the pouch over to him.
He looked at it before poking Discord on the shoulder with his staff and saying, "Dice, please." Discord snapped his fingers quickly before returning to his archery. A small dice appeared and fell to the ground.
"Ok," Spike said. "Throw the seeds over by Luna and Big Mac, then roll the dice. The dice roll requirements are the same as last time."
Sweetie nodded. She lifted two of the seeds out of the pouch and found that they were about the size of walnuts. She planted one on either side of the road near the small fight between Luna, Big Mac, and the skeletons. She then picked up the dice and rolled it. It landed on a 17. "17!" she cried. "It's a 17!"
To Sweetie's surprise, her hooves began glowing green. She raised them and pointed them where she had planted the seeds. The glow brightened and magical leaves began falling from her hooves, disappearing before reaching the ground. The plants began to grow from the ground, surrounded by a similar aura. In a matter of moments, two plants resembling blue and purple snapdragons towered above the ground. Then, two translucent leaves sprouted from the stem, just beneath the flower itself, and began to flap quickly. The stem snapped just underneath the wings and the two flowers flew into the air.
They turned to face Sweetie Belle, who sat dumbfounded until she realised the snapdragons were waiting for her. "Help Princess Luna and Big Mac," she ordered. Then, in synced movement, they dove down, snapping up the remaining skeletons. When the last of them were either eaten or turned to dust, the Flying Snapdragons faded away in the same aura as when they grew.
"Woah," said Sweetie. But her amazement at what she had done was short-lived as Discord grabbed her and pulled her towards the forest. "C'mon," he cried. "We need to move, now!"
Rainbow quickly brushed the dust from her opponent off, then flew after them. Pinkie hopped alongside her, with Luna, Spike, and Big Mac taking up the rear.
They had been walking through Mirkwood for quite some time before Sweetie spotted it. "Look! A cave! And good thing too, because it looks like night is falling," she said. The adventurers quickly ran into the cave to settle down for the night. Rainbow and Spike checked the back of the cave before confirming that they wouldn't be intruding on someone's, or something's home.
As Pinkie and Rainbow gathered wood from outside for the fire, Discord conjured up some tents. While they waited for the other girls to return with the wood, Sweetie, Luna, Spike, Big Mac, and Discord all sat around the ring of rocks that would soon be the campfire.
"So, Spike," Sweetie began. "What did you mean earlier by 'name rules', exactly?"
Spike nodded. "Ok, so Ogres and Oubliettes is a role-playing game, which means that when you are playing, you refer to yourself, and everypony else playing, as their character. So, you would call me Garbunkle, Big Mac is Sir McBiggun, and Discord is Captain Wuzz. Rainbow Dash is Desmond Miles; I don't get it either, and Pinkie Pie is Shakespony. Then you guys are your characters. Sweetie, you'd be Mistress Shamrock, or Shamrock for short, if you don't mind; and Luna, you'd be Eclipse.
"Oh, ok. I get it," said Shamrock.
"I still don't," said Luna.
"Ok," said Captain Wuzz. "From this point on, if I say "Eclipse", I'm talking to you. If I say, Shamrock, I'm talking to Sweetie Belle, and so on."
"Ah," said Eclipse. "That makes much more sense. Thank you, Captain Wuzz."
Captain Wuzz clapped. "Now you're getting it!" he cheered.
A few moments later, Desmond and Shakespony returned with the firewood. After a bit of fire magic from Garbunkle, the motley crew had a nice fire going. They ate a small dinner of apples and carrots, and then went to bed.
Quick key: -Spike = Garbunkle -Big Mac = Sir McBiggun -Discord = Captain Wuzz -Rainbow Dash = Desmond Miles -Pinkie Pie = Shakespony -Sweetie Belle = (Mistress) Shamrock -Princess Luna = Eclipse
As the group continued their trek through the dark forest, Sweetie Belle, or Shamrock rather, trotted up to Spike.
"Um... Spi- er, Garbunkle? Where are we going?" She asked.
"Well, we are headed to the East Docks to get ship, so we can get to the Squizard's Palace and defeat him once and for all," replied Garbunkle.
"And where is the Squizard's palace?"
"Underwater," replied Garbunkle, before running up to Sir McBiggun and Captain Wuzz. Mistress Shamrock wasn't really sure how to respond, but attempted to anyways:
"Huh-buh-wuh? U-underwater?!" She cried.
Shakespony, Desmond, and Eclipse all trotted up to Shamrock.
"What's underwater?" Desmond asked.
"The Squizard's Palace, apparently," replied Shamrock.
Eclipse shrugged. "Makes sense," she said. "The Squizard is a squid after all, so why wouldn't his palace be underwater?"
Shamrock shook her head," No, I got that, but once we get to the dock, how are we supposed to get to the Squizard's Palace by boat? I mean, unless there's a boat that goes underwater or something, but even then, how are we supposed to breathe down there? I don't think anyone has a magic level high enough to turn us all into seaponies."
Shakespony nodded. "That's a good point, Shamrock. But we'll just cross that bridge when we get there."
Suddenly, a tall green creature wearing a suit walked out of the trees in front of them. It was holding a chainsaw, and had no face where Shamrock could only assume was where its face should've been. It raised an arm, with the weird green noodles spread wide, and waved it back and forth.
"What's up?" Anon asked.
Everybody was very confused. The tall green thing with the chainsaw wasn't attacking them, but had instead proposed a greeting commonly associated with compatriotism. The green creature continued:
"My name is Anon. I, uh..., I was supposed to, uh... ya know, try and kill you with this," he said, as he hoisted up the chainsaw. Everyone flinched as he did so, bu he raised the 5-noodle-thing on the end of his arm again. "But, don't worry. I'm not going to do that. You guys haven't done anything that would make we want to kill you, so yeah. But, I do need to offer a challenge of some sort, so I challenge one of you to and arm wrestle. I pick...," Anon's head swiveled back and forth as if he was sizing up each member of the team. "I pick you!" he said, pointing at Eclipse.
Two words came tumbling out of Eclipse's mouth before she could stop them. "Oh s**t."
Everyone, excluding Anon, gasped. Shakespony ran over and covered Shamrock's ears, who was struggling to hold back laughter. Captain Wuzz marched over and waved a claw at Eclipse chastisingly. "No swearing! Naughty pony. Naughty!" He bopped Eclipse on the nose once and walked away. Anon raised one of the green claw-noodles, and rubbed where his nose might've been.
"You guys done?" he asked. Eclipse nodded, and walked over to Anon.
"Where shall we begin the hoof-wrestling?" she asked. Anon pointed to a tall stump with a large toadstool set on either side. Eclipse walked over and sat on one mushroom, while Anon sat on the other. Anon put his right arm on the stump with his elbow resting on it. Eclipse mimicked the motion. Discord appeared overhead, in his cloud form, and said, in a cheesy 1920's announcer voice: "A good day for a swell battle! And begin!"
Eclipse and Anon immediately began pushing against the other's arm. The others settle around the stump and watched the match unfold. Withing a few minutes of the battle's start, Anon had managed to gain the upper hand, literally. Luna's upper leg was at a 45-degree angle and slowly sinking closer to the stump. Eclipse called out, "I cast a strength spell on myself!" Both Anon's and Eclipse's arm froze, and everyone looked up at Discord expectantly. Still using the weird announcer voice, which reminded Sweetie of Applebloom's impression of Flim and Flam, said, "Oh-ho, folks. Looks like Eclipse is tryin' to swing the match in her favor. Let's she if she succeeds, shall we?" A dice appeared on the stump underneath the pair of frozen arms. "Listen up folks, if the dice gets a 3 or lower, she's got the spell, and her strength increases five-fold, anything higher than a four, and you could push her arm with a feather!"
As the dice slowed down, everyone leaned in, a tense drum-roll playing from somewhere, and... then...
"SHE'S GOOD!!!!" yelled Discord. Eclipse's horn flared up as their arms unfroze. Anon pushed harder than before, but just before Eclipse's arm hit the stump, energy rushed through her, and she swung her arm up, flinging Anon's arm down onto the stump. Discord yelled, "A knockout!" as everyone cheered and Eclipse grinned. Anon's face flushed red, and said, "Well... since you cheated, now you've given me a reason to use this." And to everyone's horror, Anon picked up the chainsaw, turned it on, and barreled down on them. Everyone turned and ran down the path. Garbunkle raised his staff and pointed. "Look! there's the docks!" And he was right. Through the trees, Shamrock could see the ocean and wooden ports branching from the beach into the sea like the arms of a tree. As soon as she thought of the analogy, she had an idea, she ran ahead of the group, with Desmond and Sir McBiggun right behind her. She stopped by a tree and began kneeling in front of it.
"What are you doing? We have a psychopath with a chainsaw chasing us! Stopping praying to the tree and run!" cried Desmond. "Eeyup!" agreed McBiggun.
But Shamrock payed them no heed. Instead, in the language of the trees, she said, "O great tree, please assist us by stopping the chainsaw-wielding psychopath so we may continue our quest to rid this land of the evil Squizard." The tree was silent for a few moments before it replied, "Very well, kind druid. May luck shine upon your quest." Sweetie smiled. "Thank you, kind sir." She got up just as the others darted by. She was grabbed by Sir McBiggun and carried away as Anon drew closer to the tree. As soon as he got with 5 feet of it, roots shot up out of the ground and ensnared Anon, causing him to drop the chainsaw. The tree then dragged Anon underground, leaving the chainsaw as the only sign Anon was ever chasing them to begin with.
The others had stopped to watch the spectacle. As Sir McBiggun set Shamrock down, Desmond asked, "What was THAT?!" Shamrock shrugged. "I just asked the tree to stop Anon. I didn't think it would work." Captain Wuzz walked over and poked Shamrock on the shoulder and said, "Look." In his claw was the dice, with the number 20 facing up. Captain Wuzz continued, "That 20 is the only reason the tree agreed to help you. No one noticed in the middle of the chase, but I stopped to roll the dice for you, with the odds being 19 or less, and the tree would have trapped you instead of Anon. You got extremely lucky, and I highly doubt it'll happen again."
The group reached the edge of the woods a short time later. Garbunkle, Captain Wuzz, and Desmond all went to go purchase a boat, while the others waited nearby. Sir McBiggun and Shakespony both went to the nearby market to purchase some last minute supplies before they went to fight the Squizard.
As Eclipse leaned against a wooden fence post, Shamrock looked up at her. "Having fun yet, Prin-, uh, Luna?" Luna looked down at the small filly, then quickly look away. "Eh, I guess." Sweetie Belle smiled, "Yes you are," she said teasingly while poking Luna. "You just don't want to admit it." Luna scoffed. "Pssh. Yeah right." Sweetie was about to tease Luna some more when Shakespony and Sir McBiggun walked back, each with a sack across their backs.
The group met up with Captain Wuzz and Garbunkle on the farthest pier. "We've got ourselves a ride," said Captain Wuzz. Shakespony looked around. "Where is it?" she asked. As if on cue, a loud horn sounded as a large something breached the water next to the dock. A hatch on the top opened a moment later to reveal Desmond grinning like and idiot. "We got a submarine!" she yelled.
Chapter 9: Ogres and Oubliettes Part 4 (The Finale)
Everyone other than Garbunkle and Captain Wuzz stood on the dock, dumbfounded.
Eclipse turned to Garbunkle and said, "How in the name of my sister's cotton-candy mane did you get a submarine?!" Garbunkle just smiled and pointed at Captain Wuzz. "How do you think?" Captain Wuzz was climbing into the submarine, while holding a mildly-disturbed looking Shamrock under his arm.
"Ack! Put down my Sweetie Be- er, Shamrock!" yelped Eclipse, darting down the hatch after Captain Wuzz. Shakespony, Sir McBiggun, and Garbunkle all climbed in after Eclipse, with Garbunkle closing the latch. As soon as he did, Captain Wuzz's voice rang out over the submarine's intercom: "Tally-ho Desmond! We've got a Squizard to defeat!"
In the control room, Desmond blared the horn one last time before the submarine descended beneath the surface once more. Shamrock had managed to escape Captain Wuzz with Eclipse, and the pair was currently making their way to the control room. Once they arrived, they saw Captain Wuzz managing the periscope, Garbunkle and Shakespony at navigation, and Desmond piloting. They sat down next to Sir McBiggun, who offered each of them an apple, which they gladly accepted.
After a short time, everyone was bored. But, just as Shamrock opened her mouth to comment on the fact, the submarine was rocked with a vicious bang. Everyone ran for the view-port to look outside, only to find it covered by a big metal something. More banging continued to sound throughout the sub and it sustained repeated hits. Garbunkle said something unintelligible and everything froze. Discord appeared in all his majestic cloudiness, and said: "For the spell to work, you must roll a 12 or higher, and for all our sakes, I hope you do." He opened his mouth and allowed the dice to roll of his tongue. It fell, and landed on the floor spinning madly. It slowed and fell over, revealing the number on the top. 11. Discord's eyes widened as Shakespony pointed at the main view-port, which was riddled with cracks. "RUN!!!" she shouted. And everyone did. They ran down the interior of the submarine and began to see the extent of the damage their attacker caused. Water was leaking in from what seemed like everywhere. They reached the back, where four open hatches lined the walls, leading into a small room with a window. Desmond pointed at them and said, "Two per pod! Now!! Once you are inside, throw the giant switch on the wall!"
They each scrambled for a pod. Discord slithered into the first and pulled the door shut. Sir McBiggun and Garbunkle hustled into the second, while Desmond and Shakespony launched themselves into the third. Loud shots rang out as each pod was ejected. Eclipse grabbed Shamrock and dived into the last, and slammed the door shut. Shamrock managed to squirm out from under Eclipse's foreleg, and ran over to the door and slammed the level down. There was a sound like a gunshot as their pod shot out of the submarine. Eclipse sat down at the controls and began driving the pod.
"Do you even know how to drive this thing?" asked Shamrock. "Well," replied Eclipse. "It can't be that hard. These controls don't look to different compared to those of an X-Wing or something." Shamrock facehoofed as Eclipse swung the pod around so it faced the sub. "Now is not the time for game jokes..." Shamrock trailed off, because as the pair looked outside the window, they saw what had attacked them. It was a giant, metal squid. It's bulbous yellow eye was glowing, and Shamrock could just see someone inside, controlling it.
A crackle sounded from the comms as Captain Wuzz's distorted voice rang through the pod. "As you can see, a giant robo-squid seems to have attacked our transport. I say we teach this machine some manners. Pilots, on the console in front of you should be a big red button. Do NOT push it, until I say so. For now, everyone get into the positions I've sent to each of your individual sonars. The spot where you are is the center, obviously. A purple dot should show where you need to-"
Captain Wuzz's voice was cutoff as a loud explosion rang out around them. The squid had exploded their submarine. It swam away from the sinking wreckage, and towards the pods. Shamrock stood over the sonar, telling Eclipse where to pilot the pod. "Left! Forward! Stop-stop-stop!!" She ran over to the comms and pressed the talk button, "Captain Wuzz, Eclipse and I are in position." Shakespony's and Garbunkle's voices replied in a similar manner. "Excellent," said Captain Wuzz. "Now, there should be a silver joystick that moves a circle on your viewport. Give it a twirl." Eclipse grabbed the joystick in her magic and moved the joystick around. "Now," continued Captain Wuzz. "Move the circle so it sits right over the eye of our naughty friend." Eclipse moved the joystick to Captain Wuzz's instructions. Shamrock spoke into the comm mic and said, "We are locked on target, Captain Wuzz. Await further orders." Eclipse turned and looked at Shamrock with a raised eyebrow. "When did you become so fluent in military talk?" Shamrock smirked. "I play as many games as you do, Eclipse."
"Okay," said Captain Wuzz. "On the count of three, pilots... punch the big red button. 3... 2... 1... NOW!" Eclipse's hoof smacked down onto the button, and a loud *PEW* sound rang throughout the pod. And within the same nanosecond of Eclipse pushing the button, time froze. Discord's voice crackled over the comms: "I'm rolling one dice for each of you. A 15 or higher means you hit the squid and do damage. It should be obvious what anything less means." Discord's end went silent with the exception of a distant, light tapping noise. Discord's voice sailed through the speakers again: "Oh bother. Both my torpedoes and those of Sir McBiggun and Garbunkle are ineffective. However, Eclipse and Desmond's torpedoes hit the target with ironic justice."
Time resumed and Shamrock watched with Eclipse as four yellow-tipped missiles shot through the water and smashed into the eye of the squid with an explosion that rivaled that of the deceased submarine. A voice rang out through the comms. "RRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET, YOU STUPID PONIES!!!" shouted Anon. The squid swam up, and angled itself so where the mouth would be was pointing in the general direction of the pods. "DIE!!" yelled Anon. A bright yellow laser tore through the water. Eclipse yanked the steering handles to the right, and the pod swerved right, narrowly avoiding the blast fired by Anon. Captain Wuzz's voice flared through the comms.
"That's it. Forget the dice, and just FIRE EVERYTHING!!! Push every button you can!! They'll all shoot something, probably!"
Eclipse's hooves blazed across the console, pressing every button she could while Shamrock ran around pushing every button she could on the wall. A cacophony of video-game-weapon-noises rang out throughout the nearby sea. Lasers, missiles, machine guns, magic bolts, and all other manner of lethal projectile fired from the pods. Phasers, lasers, tasers and more. Anon's robo-squid was beginning to buckle under the barrage of the returning fire. Suddenly, the squid's head detached from the body, and propelled itself away just as the body self-destructed. Anon's voice came across the comms again.
"Missed me, missed me, miss-"
And suddenly, it went quiet, with only static remaining. Captain Wuzz's voice spoke. "That's better. I sent him back to whatever dimension he came from. He was beginning to bother me. Well, onwards to the castle of the Squizard!"
The four pods slowly made their way through the ocean, descending deeper into the depths, until...
"Hey," said Shamrock. "I can see the lights of the castle! We made it!"
And indeed they had. They had finally arrived at the Squizard's Palace. They landed their subs on the balcony outside the throne room. Garbunkle attempted to cast the spell he had tried to on the submarine, this time successfully rolling an 18. Shamrock then saw a bubble appear around her head, along with one appearing around Eclipse's. They departed their escaped pods and saw the others floating around theirs. They all swam to the doors of the throne room.
"Do we just go in and attack?" asked Desmond. "Uh... yes. I think that's what we're supposed to do," said Garbunkle. "Really?" asked Shamrock with a raised eyebrow. Sir McBiggun nodded. "Eeyup," he said. The group swam back some, charged, barged into the throne room, and landed on their faces.
A laugh rang throughout the throne room. Eclipse and Shamrock clambered to their hooves as they looked up to see the dreaded Squizard, the most malicious being in all of Spike-topia, in all is cardboard drawing glory, sitting in his throne. In a hanging cage next to the throne, Shamrock saw
"Rarity?!?!"
Captain Wuzz nudged her. "It's Shmarity, actually." Both Shamrock and Eclipse raised an eyebrow at Garbunkle. "Really," Shamrock asked. Garbunkle could only shrug and blush.
"Oh thank heavens," cried Shmarity. "Garbunkle! You've come to save me!"
A collective urge to facehoof with every hoof possible passed through the group like a plague, sparing only Garbunkle and Sir McBiggun. "Yes, it is I," said Garbunkle dramatically. "My compatriots: Sir McBiggun the Knight, Captain Wuzz the Archer, Desmond Miles the Rogue, Shakespony the Bard, Mistress Shamrock the Druid, Eclipse the Ranger, and I have come to rescue you!"
"Not so fast!" yelled the Squizard. "You may have defeated my Anon creature, but you still have to get through me!"
"Dude, we literally sent you hightailing it after we shot you in the butt with an arrow. This should be a cinch," said Garbunkle in a dead-pan tone.
But the Squizard only laughed. "That's you think, you fool of a wizard!" A magic tinkling noise filled the air, followed by a loud *POOF* and a large cloud of pink smoke. Once the cloud dissipated, the heroes found themselves standing an arena, opposite a giant blue squid wearing an orange cape and a pointy blue hat, while wielding two wands.
"Oh poop," said Shamrock.
The Squizard waved a wand through the air and fired a spell directly at Garbunkle, but before it could hit, time froze. Discord poofed above, sitting atop a cotton-candy cloud. "Guess what!" he said. "No dice rolling for this! Freezing time every time someone wants to attack would just ruin the epicness of this final boss. Besides, I'm sure the audience at home wouldn't approve," he said while winking towards the reader. "Let us resume!" he cried. He disappeared, reappearing as Captain Wuzz where he was before, and time began again. Garbunkle was sent flying by the spell, and hit the wall. He clambered back up slowly as Desmond charged the Squizard with her sword, Shakespony in hot pursuit, her tail launching spontaneously generating pies like a catapult.
The Squizard swatted the pair across the arena and barreled down upon Eclipse. For the first time since she joined the game, Eclipse unslung her bow, nocked an arrow, yelled "Ignis!", and fired. Halfway through it's flight, the tip of the arrow burst into flames and punctured the Squizard in the side. He yelled in pain and fired a spell at Eclipse, who was saved by a cry of "Clipeum! from Garbunkle, which produced a shield which was immediately encased in ice from the Squizard's spell.
Shamrock had managed to sneak behind the Squizard and plant seeds from a small pouch labelled Entangling Vine before she was caught by one of the Squizard's tentacles. "And what do we have here?" asked the Squizard. "The little druid thinks she can sneak up on me? Ha! Now, what were you doing back there, hmm?" Shamrock glowered at the Squizard before yelling, "CRESCERE!!!" Shamrock's hooves glowed green as the seeds began to sprout at an astonishing speed. Vines shot out of the ground and wrapped around two of the eight smaller tentacles the Squizard was using to walk, and began dragging them underground. The Squizard dropped Shamrock, who was caught in fly-by from Desmond. Captain Wuzz and Eclipse continued firing enchanted arrows at the Squizard with cries of: "Ignis!" "Glacies!" "Venenum!" "Interitus!"
Pies flew through the air in increasingly ridiculous numbers from Shakespony, Desmond and McBiggun attempting to hack at the Squizard's "legs", Captain Wuzz and Eclipse continued their barrage, Garbunkle continued firing magical blasts at the Squizard, and Shamrock had planted at least a dozen projectile-firing plants including Gatling Peashooters, Coconut Cannons, Dusk Lobbers launching shadow spheres and Bombegrantes, and Snapdragons that breathed streams of fire.
But they had no effect. The Squizard was too powerful. Nothing seemed to harm him. Then, when all hope seemed lost, Shamrock had an idea so crazy, it might just be crazy enough to work.
"Desmond! C'mere!!" she yelled. Desmond flew over, narrowly dodging a blast from the Squizard. "Yeah?" she asked. Shamrock leaned into Desmond's ear and whispered something. Desmond slowly grinned as Shamrock whispered her idea into Desmond's ear. "Now got tell the others to do that on my mark," said Shamrock. Desmond flew up into the air and saluted. "Aye aye!" she said, and then zipped off. "Keep firing," Shamrock told the plants, before creeping off behind the Squizard once again.
Desmond flew over the arena, diving down only to whisper the plan to the others, before resuming her attack on the Squizard. Shortly, Shamrock ran up to Desmond. "Gather the others. It's time to initiate the plan," said Shamrock. Desmond took off, telling the others to regroup with Shamrock. As soon as the others arrived, Captain Wuzz said, "As good a plan as it is, it still insults me." Shamrock ignored him and said, "You guys ready?" Shakespony hefted up two pies as if to say yes, while Captain Wuzz and Eclipse readied their bows and nodded. Garbunkle gripped his staff with both hands and nodded, while Desmond and Sir McBiggun hoisted their swords in the air.
"Are you guys giving up?" taunted the Squizard. "But I was having fun. Oh well. Time to die, heroes."
"Actually," said Shamrock, stepping forward. "We are about to defeat you." Shamrock stepped forward, lifter her front two hooves and shouted "CRESCERE!!!!!" As soon as she did, her hooves blazed green, and hundreds of Entangling Vines burst from the ground around the Squizard and began to encase him. At the same time, Desmond took off and knock one wand out of the Squizard's left tentacle using her sword, while Sir McBiggun disarmed the right with his sword. As more and more vines crept up the struggling Squizard, while Eclipse and Captain Wuzz yelled "Lapis!!" whilst firing arrows at an alarming rate, with Garbunkle yelling "Carcerem!!" As arrows struck the vines, the vines began to turn to stone, not only trapping the Squizard in Entangling Vines, but also turning him and the vines to stone, in one giant prison.
"NO!! NO!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!" cried the Squizard. "STOP!!! STOP IT!!! STOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP!!!" And with that, the Squizard was no more. The arena disappeared and the heroes found themselves in the throne room with a stone statue of a piece of cardboard with a squid covered in vines drawn on it. Shmarity's cage disappeared, and as soon as she landed, she ran over to Garbunkle, who waited with arms out-stretched. But just before they embraced, she was gone, along with the throne room.
They were back in Twilight's castle, their mission complete. Everyone's appearance had gone back to normal, the most noticeable was Luna's mane being all flow-y again. Everyone embraced, for they had defeated the scourge of Spike-topia at long last. Spike had to wipe away tears, obviously because the game was over, and NOT because he didn't get to kiss Shmarity, or as Sweetie Belle now refers to her, Not-Rarity. As Sweetie Belle looked around, she noticed a figure standing in the doorway. The figure stepped into the light, revealing himself to be Sam.
"Seems like I missed something interesting, didn't I?" he asked, smiling. Sweetie Belle waved. "Hi, Sam!" Sam walked over to Princess Luna and Sweetie Belle. "I was sent here by Rarity and hour ago to collect Sweetie Belle, but you guys looked busy, so I didn't want to interrupt," said Sam, winking at Princess Luna. Luna smiled, and said, "Well then, we'd better get her home, shouldn't we?" Sam nodded, noticing Sweetie Belle trying to conceal a yawn. "Thank you for having us over, Spike," said Princess Luna. "Discord. Big MacIntosh. Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie." She nodded to each dragon. draconequus and pony as she said their names. "I bid you all a good night on behalf of myself, and Sweetie Belle. Goodbye."
"Bye, Princess!" called Pinkie.
As they walked out the door, Sweetie turned to Sam. "How long were you watching us?" she asked him. Sam looked down at her. "Well," he said. "I got there just before you encountered the Anon-creature." Sweetie Belle nodded as Sam continued. "But I have a question," he said. "What did you whisper in Rainbow Dash's ear before you defeated... uh... whatever that was?"
"Well, first off, the thing was called the Squizard. Like Squid-wizard. But what I whispered in Rainbow's ear was this: 'Tell the others: we need to do what the Elements did to Discord!! We need to turn him into stone.'" Sam nodded. "That's clever. A bit poorly phrased, I think, but clever." Princess Luna nodded in agreement.
By the time the trio had reached Carousel Boutique, Sweetie Belle was fast asleep on Luna's back. They knocked on the door, and were quickly let inside by Rarity. While Princess Luna tucked in Sweetie Belle, Sam apologized for bringing Sweetie home an hour late and explained what had happened. After Princess Luna thanked Rarity for allowing her to hang out with Sweetie Belle, both Sam and the Princess of the Night headed back to Canterlot for the evening, so Sam could return home, and Princess Luna could begin her nightly duties. And while the game may have been finished in "real life", Mistress Shamrock and Eclipse had many more adventures in the dreams of Sweetie Belle in nights to come.
