Fluttershy Overcomes her Fears with Rainbow Dash's help
Not all scars are visible. Fluttershy was the object of countless jokes and taunts aimed at her aerial ineptitude and her close relationship with Rainbow Dash during flight school. Even now, years removed from the fillyhood traumas of her past, Ponyville's resident animal expert feels the effects. She tried to build walls to keep all of the memories at bay, but now those walls are a little too close for comfort.
Fluttershy’s heart was racing. The sterile white walls seemed to be closing in on her, waiting to crush her underneath thousands of pounds of cold, unforgiving concrete. Her breathing was rapid and shallow. She thought she could hear a voice calling to her, but she saw nothing but the looming walls, rising up to smother her.
“Fluttershy? You in there?” The voice brought her back to reality, the walls retreating back to their proper places. Rainbow Dash was sitting across the table from her, a concerned look painted on her normally untroubled face. Fluttershy blinked rapidly for a moment, waiting for her heart rate to return to normal.
“Oh, um, yes. Sorry about that." She tilted her head down to hide behind her mane. "I just, um, I got lost in my thoughts for a minute.”
“No worries. It’s your turn by the way.” Dash gestured to the game board of Cloud, Sky, Land laying between them on the hospital bed table. She had come to the hospital to see Fluttershy after the latter had sprained a wing thanks to Angel Bunny throwing a half-eaten carrot at her while she was trying to feed a baby bird in her home. The carrot hit her in head, causing her to lose her balance and slam the wing into a nearby doorway. The sprain itself was minor, but the doctor wanted keep Fluttershy overnight to make sure there were no problems. The room assigned to her was austere, containing only a pair of chairs for visitors in addition to the hospital bed. A window along the wall let in the afternoon sunlight, bathing the white walls in an orange glow.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Um, how about... Cloud three?” Fluttershy stared intently at the game board, unable to meet Rainbow’s eyes after her episode of panic.
“You’ve guessed that one four times already, ‘Shy.” Dash looked at her with an eyebrow raised, silently questioning if everything was alright.
“Um... how about Cloud four?”
“You’ve guessed that one twice.”
“Well... I, um...” A small squeak escaped the frightened pegasus.
“Hey, if ya want to get some rest, I can get out of your mane. Just let me know. I won’t be offended or anything. Promise.”
“No!” Fluttershy exclaimed, almost at a normal speaking level. Realizing she had reacted too quickly, a light blush crept unbidden into her cheeks. She tried to hide behind her mane, clarifying, “Um, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to. It’s nice having somepony to talk to.”
But it’s not just somepony, it’s her. A voice in the back of her mind chimed in.
I don’t know what you’re talking about. Fluttershy shot back.
Oh come on, Twilight and Applejack were here earlier and the walls didn’t close in.
It was an accident, it has nothing to do with Rainbow Dash.
Sure, you keep telling yourself that. The voice replied smugly.
It’s true! Fluttershy locked the insidious voice back into whatever corner of her mind it had crawled out of and forced herself back into the present. Rainbow was looking at her suspiciously. The yellow pegasus’ cheeks went an even deeper shade of red as she stared at the table, pawing at the edge of the game board.
“Well, if it’s all the same to you, I need to get going anyway. There’s a pretty big storm headed this way and the weather team wants me to make sure it doesn’t get too bad out there.” Dash got up out of the hard plastic chair ubiquitous to all hospital rooms and began putting away the game. Fluttershy felt tears welling up in her eyes, barely containing a slight sniffle. Once all the game pieces were put away, Rainbow put the box on her back and trotted to the door, calling back over her shoulder, “I’ll see ya tomorrow when you get out, sound good?” Fluttershy simply nodded, not looking up to make eye contact.
“Please don’t go,” she whispered, letting her head drop further as the tears began to roll down her cheeks. “Please don’t leave me alone in here...” It was too late, she could hear Dash’s hoof falls retreating down the hall. The walls began their slow encroachment inward, pressing ever closer, threatening to smother her in their cold embrace.
*
The next day.
“Oh, why am I such a mess?” Fluttershy asked herself. She had been released from the hospital an hour ago, but didn’t want to go home yet. She did not feel like she could be alone again right now. Her animals were at the cottage, but she felt like she needed to be with somepony who can talk back. She absentmindedly kicked a pebble down the dirt road not paying attention to its destination.
“What was that about?” A new voice wondered, interrupting her’ thoughts.
“Oh! I’m so sorry, I should have been paying more attention!” Fluttershy’s eyes darted up to see who she had hit, ready to make a run for it if they were confrontational. She relaxed when she saw it was just Spike, heading back to the library with a bundle of new quills from the mysteriously still-in-business Quills and Sofas.
He shrugged. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” The little dragon assured her. “You doin’ okay? I heard from Twilight that you were in the hospital yesterday.” His eyes looked over her for any visible sign of injury and he decided it was most likely a minor event since there were no visible marks or bruises.
“Oh, yes, I’m fine. I just hit my wing on a tree and had a minor wing sprain. It's all better now though.” She extended her left wing and gave it a little flap to show there was no real damage. An idea leapt up in her mind. “Are you heading back to the library? Can I come with you? Um, if you don’t mind that is.” She quickly added, kicking at the ground nervously.
“Sure, need a new book or something?” Spike resumed walking in the direction of the library, a few blocks down in the center of town.
“Um, no, I was just hoping to talk to Twilight for a bit.” Fluttershy responded, falling into step beside the only dragon that didn’t cause her to dive for the nearest cover.
“That’s cool. Let me warn you now though, she’s studying a new volume on equine mental disorders she just got from the Canterlot Royal Library. Good luck pulling her away from it.” Spike laughed, but Fluttershy’s hopes rose slightly at the news that her bookish friend was researching mental disorders in ponies. She secretly hoped that Twilight might be able to help her figure out what was wrong with her head. The weather was pleasantly warm, and the pegasus weather team had cleared out all of the storm clouds earlier that morning, leaving the sky a perfect clear blue as Spike and Fluttershy walked to the library.
The sky is the same color as the blue in her mane. The voice in the back of her head had returned.
I don’t know who you’re talking about. Lots of ponies have blue manes. Fluttershy pointedly dropped her eyes to the ground.
Come on, there’s only one pony with the perfect sky blue in her mane.
Rainbow has lots of colors in her mane. It’s only natural that other things would be-
“Uh.. Fluttershy? Where are you going?” Spike asked curiously. Fluttershy's eyes snapped open. She didn’t even realize she had shut them, hoping it would quiet the poisonous voice in her head. While arguing with herself, she had walked right past the library.
“Oh! I was just, um, admiring those flowers over there.” Fluttershy panicked and pointed to a stand of flowers across the road, selling bouquets of any color. Red. Yellow. Green. Blue. Violet. Every color of the rainbow.
Every color of a certain mane too. She shook her head, trying to clear the voice from within her. She turned back to the library, grateful Spike had already gone inside and could not see her fighting with herself. It was embarrassing enough that she was unable to control her own thoughts, having an argument with herself in front of somepony else would be too much her her to handle. She headed into the library.
“Hey there ‘Shy! Good to see ya out of the hospital.” Fluttershy jumped at the voice, her heat rate spiking. Rainbow Dash was laying on the staircase of the library, clutching Daring Do and The Diamond Dagger between her hooves. Twilight was laying on a rug in front of the fireplace, reading intently, and had not noticed the quiet pony’s entrance yet.
“Hi, Rainbow. How’s the new book?” A slight blush rose in Fluttershy’s cheeks as she pawed nervously at the ground. She hadn’t been expecting Rainbow to be here. She couldn’t talk to Twilight about what happened yesterday at the hospital in front of Dash. Not after she had played it off as nothing.
“It’s awesome! You seriously need to read these books, ‘Shy.” Rainbow Dash closed the book, getting up from the staircase. She looked over at the librarian, “Hey Twi’, I gotta go, I’m on weather duty this afternoon.” Dash put the book back in an empty slot on the bookshelf, probably not the right place since the section was labeled “Botany.”
“Okay, feel free to come back anytime. Oh, hi Fluttershy! I didn’t hear you come in.” Twilight remarked, having finally torn herself away from the book she had been reading. She got up off the rug and walked over to Fluttershy as Rainbow took off outside the door, “How was the night at the hospital?”
Fluttershy repressed a small shudder, dreading the memories that rose against her will. Sleep had not come easy, she lay on the uncomfortable bed tossing and turning, unable to stop the feeling of a great weight on her chest. It felt like an iron band was slowly closing, squeezing the life out of her. At least this time the walls had kept their distance.
“It was... fine.” She replied, putting on her best fake smile, one that she had spent years perfecting.
Remember back when you didn’t have to fake a smile? The treacherous voice was back.
No, I’m not doing this, not now. Fluttershy steeled herself against the memories of her past that were roiling just beneath her consciousness. She looked at Twilight, who was moving in the direction of the kitchen and called back over her shoulder.
“Do you want anything to drink? We have water and... well, we have water.” Her voice held a slightly apologetic tone at the lack of beverage options.
“No, thank you. I’m not thirsty right now. Actually, I was hoping to talk to you for a minute. Um, if you have some free time that is.” Fluttershy's voice was unusually quiet, and Twilight poked her head out from the kitchen.
“Sure, what’s up?” She asked as she came back into the main room of the library levitating a glass of water next to her. The slight purple glow from her horn flickered out as she lowered the glass gently onto the table set up in the middle of the room. The table had several stacks of books waiting to be filed away again, and the title of one jumped out to the nervous pegasus. A large book, bound in brown leather with gold lettering spelling out “Equine Mental Illnesses, Vol. II.”
“Oh, it’s nothing really.” Fluttershy nervously replied kicking the ground hesitantly, finding it suddenly difficult to ask Twilight for her help now that she was actually here. The magical librarian’s curiosity was piqued, but she decided not to press for details. Doing that would only cause the shy mare to withdraw further into her shell.
With a flare of sparks from her horn, Twilight set to the task of replacing the books strewn about the main room of the library. An exasperated sigh escaped her lips when she saw that the spot for Drafter Redweed’s A Treatise on the Poisonous Plants of the Everfree Forest was occupied by Rainbow Dash’s latest Daring Do novel.
“Will that pony ever learn how to properly put away a book?" She asked as she pulled Daring Do from the shelf and put away A Treatise. "It doesn’t always just go in the first open spot you find.”
Grateful for a change of subject, but silently cursing herself for her own cowardice, Fluttershy stepped over to Twilight's side to get a better look at the cover of the book. “Rainbow really likes these books, huh?” She asked, taking the novel in her hooves. The cover showed the main character, the adventure-loving pegasus Daring Do, swinging from a vine in the jungle, the diamond dagger of the title clenched in her teeth. In the background, a number of zebra could be seen chasing Daring, their expressions suggesting that the goldenrod mare had obtained the treasure through rather dubious means.
“That might be a bit of an understatement.” Twilight remarked, accompanied by a slight eye roll, “She’s been pestering pretty much anypony who comes to the library about reading them.” With one last flare of her horn, the organized unicorn slid the leather-bound copy of Equine Mental Illnesses into an open spot on the top shelf of the “Psychology” section. The canary pegasus looked longingly at the re-shelved tome, feeling her spirits drop slightly. It somehow felt wrong to bring up the initial reason that she had come to the library now that the book was back in its proper place.
That’s a weak excuse, even for you. The malicious voice retorted. You know it would take her all of two seconds to pull that book back down.
Fluttershy forced herself not to respond, knowing it would only add fuel to the fire. Instead, she turned to face Twilight, searching for a way to break the growing silence. “So Dash comes here to read them? Why doesn’t she just take the books home and read them there?”
Twilight shrugged, taking the Daring Do novel and shelving it in its proper place. “I don’t know. She claims that she likes reading here because there are fewer distractions than at her house, but I bet it’s really because she doesn’t want to be seen around town carrying a book. Imagine what it would do to her reputation.” The librarian raised a hoof to cover her mouth in mock-horror at the idea. Even Fluttershy could not suppress a smile at the thought of the brash, athletic Rainbow Dash darting furtively from alcove to alcove around town, clutching a textbook to her chest.
Are you sure it’s a book you want to imagine Rainbow Dash clutching in a dark alleyway?
Fluttershy’s cheeks flooded with a deep blush at the unwelcome jibe. She glanced over to see her academic unicorn friend already nose-deep in another dusty tome. A barely audible sigh of relief escaped the flustered mare knowing that her suddenly reddened face had gone unnoticed. Don’t think things like that! She admonished herself futilely.
Why can’t you just be honest with yourself for once? The voice in her head prodded.
I don’t know what you mean.
You can’t hide anything from me dear. Just admit it.
Fluttershy desperately attempted to deflect the train of thought before it could go any further. She walked over to where Twilight was lying down reading. Casting about for something to say, blurting out the first thing that came to mind. “So... how often is Rainbow here to read?”
Twilight looked up from her latest text, a guidebook on identifying various species of birds around Equestria, and thought for a moment. “Oh, I don’t pay attention that much, she just comes and goes. I swear, if she spent half as much time in the library at Flight School as she does here, she would have passed with flying colors.”
The mention of Flight School threatened to bring up painful memories for Fluttershy, but she forced them back down. They formed a knot in the pit of her stomach, which she did her best to ignore. “You know, if it wasn’t for Dash I wouldn’t have even gotten in to Flight School.”
This grabbed Twilight’s attention as though somepony had mentioned a list-making competition. “What? I thought you two met in Flight School.” The purple unicorn absentmindedly closed the book on bird identification, now completely unable to hold her attention.
“Oh, well I guess technically we were at the Flight School when we met, but it was before we actually started attending.” A slight warmth spread through Fluttershy as the memories of her first meeting with the blue filly who would become her best and only friend in school. “I can’t believe that we haven’t told you this story already, Twilight.” Fluttershy sat down next to the curious unicorn, gazing out the window where Celestia’s sun was beginning its slow trek towards the horizon, basking the library in the warm glow of the afternoon sun.
“I first met Rainbow Dash on the day I went to register for Flight School...”
Celestia’s sun had just crept over the horizon, casting the first warm rays of light on the Administration Building of the Cloudsdale Flight School. This edifice lacked some of the more impressive, flowing architecture typical to the elegant floating city, instead opting for functionality over decoration. A single figure could be seen pacing impatiently outside the doors. A small, canary yellow pegasus, eagerly waiting for the building’s occupants to let her in.
“Oh, how much longer will this take? I want to register for Flight School.” Fluttershy complained to the empty air, digging a small dent into the cloud beneath her. The amorphous surface of the cumulus cloud reformed itself, which was good because if it did not the impatient filly would have dug all the way through by now. She turned to the doors, giving them a baleful gaze, which would one day become known only as “The Stare,” and willed them into unlocking. “Come on, open up! Now!” She commanded.
A few moments later, a slight click was barely audible through the haze of the door. Fluttershy gave an excited gasp and fluttered a few inches closer. Yay! It worked! She thought to herself. The doors swung open and an older, grey-haired stallion stood just inside the interior hallway, a surprised look registering on his face when he noticed yellow pegasus.
“Whoa there, you’re a little early aren’t you? You here to register for the Flight School?” The gentlecolt began walking back down the hallway, without waiting for an answer.
“Oh, yes. I’ve been waiting to come to Flight School forever. Well, not really forever, but at least since I heard about it from my parents last year.” The excited little filly responded, oblivious to the fact that the question had been rhetorical. No one came to the Flight School’s administration building except to register for the school. The older pegasus quietly shook his head, the abundant energy of youth never ceasing to surprise him.
After walking for a few moments in silence, the elder pony feared he may have somehow offended the young filly, causing her to be so quiet. He spared a glance over his shoulder, only to see her staring with wonder at every door, poster, and bulletin board they passed, too wrapped up in excitement to carry on a conversation. A small chuckle escaped his lips.
“Well, here’s the registration office. Go on in and tell Miss Longwing that you’re here to enroll in the school and she’ll get you all sorted out.” The grey-haired stallion gestured with a hoof at door labeled simply “Registrar” and turned to continue down the corridor.
“Thank you for your help. It was nice to meet you.” Fluttershy called, finally managing to tear herself away from a nearby Wonderbolts poster and finding her voice again. She trotted over to the door, standing on her back hooves to reach the handle and pushed. The door would not budge. In a brief moment of fright, she harder, putting all of her somewhat insubstantial weight into the door. It wasn’t until she looked up that she noticed a small sign bearing a single word. Pull.
“Oh.” Fluttershy deadpanned. She grabbed the handle again and hopped back with a small flutter of her wings. The door pulled open easily. Content that she had not been outsmarted by a door, Fluttershy stepped into the registrar’s office. The room was fairly empty, with only a row of chairs on either wall and a poster next to the registration desk bearing the school’s crest and a list of attendance requirements. Behind the desk was a middle-aged red mare, her flowing black mane pulled up into what looked like a peacock’s tail plumage, the latest “style” from Canterlot. She did not even look up from the issue of Equestria Weekly she was reading as Fluttershy approached.
“Hello ma’am, I’m here to register for Flight School.” She chirped excitedly, fluttering a few inches off the ground in enthusiasm.
“Name, please.” The registrar finally put down her magazine and pulled out a clipboard containing the names of fillies and colts who would be entering the Flight School for the upcoming year.
“My name is Fluttershy.”
Miss Longwing disinterestedly flipped through several pages to locate the names beginning with “F” and ran a hoof down the page, reading a few names aloud. “Fleetfoot... Flitter... Flyby... I’m sorry dear, but there’s no Fluttershy on the list.”
Fluttershy fell back to the ground with a soft thump, sinking an inch into the cloud under her hooves, her mind was unable to process what she had just heard. She cocked her head to one side, a confused expression replacing her smile, “B- but my parents! They submitted all the paperwork! I wouldn’t stop bothering them about it until they did.” Her heart rate rose slightly, a knot forming in her stomach. She had been looking forward to Flight School so badly, she did not think she could wait for the next school year.
“I’m sorry dear, I don’t know what to tell you. If you’re not on this list, I can’t get you registered.” Miss Longwing apologized, although it lacked any sincerity. She put down the clipboard and reached for her magazine.
Fluttershy stood transfixed for a few moments, before her head fell and she turned to make her way out of the building. “Sorry for wasting your time.” She muttered.
Walking slowly back down the hall towards the building’s exit, she was surprised to hear a slightly coltish voice call out. “Hey there! Did ya just finish registering for school?” A small light blue filly with a prismatic mane was standing a little ways down the hall. She cantered over the remaining distance and extended a hoof. “Hi, I’m Rainbow Dash.”
Fluttershy held out her own hoof, shaking hooves with Dash. “My name’s Fluttershy. Not that the stupid registration mare cares. My name wasn’t on her little list so she says I can’t go to flight school this year. Oh, I am so frustrated I could just kick something.” She angrily lashed out with a rear leg, knocking a small hole into the cloud of a nearby wall. After a moment the wall repaired itself.
Rainbow Dash tilted her head to one side, as though she did not fully understand, “What the hay? So they’re just not gonna let ya in? That’s not fair.” She glanced around for a moment, deep in thought, before perking up. “I’ve got the perfect solution. Come with me.” Raising an eyebrow in bewilderment, Fluttershy slowly fell into step behind her confident new friend as they made their way back to the registration office. The pair walked into the office and approached the registrar.
“My name’s Rainbow Dash, and I’m here to register for Flight School.”Dash exclaimed boldly, stomping a hoof for emphasis. Miss Longwing put down her magazine again with a small sigh and pulled up the attendance list. She scrolled down two pages before responding.
“Let’s see, oh yes, Miss Dash." Miss Longwing tapped the list with a hoof. "You’ll be in room 302 with Instructor Swift. Class starts on Monday at 8:00 a.m. Remember to bring a pencil for taking notes.” The list fell back to the desk with a slight hiss as it pressed into the deformable surface, the following silence a clear dismissal. Undaunted by the implicit request that the two fillies leave, Dash gave her wings a flap and jumped up to land on the desk in front of the indifferent pegasus worker.
“What’s this I hear about you not letting my pal Fluttershy into the school? Just because her name isn’t on some stupid list? Seems like a pretty featherbrained reason to send the second-best flier in Cloudsdale packing.” Dash made the claim with a completely straight and serious face, the unexpected praise causing a slight flush in its recipient’s cheeks.
She’s never even seen me fly before, what is she doing? Fluttershy wondered.
Miss Longwing raised an eyebrow at this assertion. “Oh, so she’s the second best flier in Cloudsdale? Who’s the best then, you?” The flat tone of her voice expressing exactly how likely she thought either of these things to be true.
“You’re darn right I’m the best!” Dash confirmed. “Now, if you don’t want to take both me and my friend here, we could always head over to Manehattan and join up at the Velocity Academy. I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun explaining to your boss why you turned us away while we’re busy winning stunt-flying competitions all over Equestria.” At this point, Dash fluttered down from the desk and headed for the door. “Come on ‘Shy, let’s get outta here.”
The expression on Miss Longwing's face showed that she didn’t believe a word of Rainbow's boasting, but after a moment a shadow of doubt flashed over her features. “Wait!” She called the two young pegasi back into the office. “Fine, your friend can join the school. I don’t buy your bravado for a second, kid, but I don’t want to hear from either of your parents about you two wanting to go to Manehattan. Miss Fluttershy, welcome to the Cloudsdale Flight School, you’ll be in room 302 with Miss Dash here. Now, if you two will excu-”
The registrar never had the chance to finish her thought. At that moment the pieces clicked into place for Fluttershy, who jumped into the air, exclaiming “I’m in Flight School!” Upon landing she excitedly pulled a shocked-looking Rainbow Dash into a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you so much, Rainbow! I don’t know what I would have done without you!” Dash returned the hug, and after a moment the two broke apart and ran full speed out of the office, leaving a perplexed registrar in their wake.
*
A loud crash interrupted any remaining portion of Fluttershy’s story. She and Twilight both turned to the door of the library, where a distressed Pinkie Pie could be seen leaning on the door frame, looking slightly crazier than usual. “Twilight! The parasprites are back! Where’s my trombone?” The eccentric pink pony began opening every drawer and cabinet in sight looking for the missing instrument. Twilight recovered from the shock of the interruption after a moment, quizzing Pinkie about the supposed parasprite attack.
“Where did you see them, Pinkie?” She asked, trotting towards the door to survey the damage. Without breaking stride in searching for her missing trombone, the physic-defying mare called out from the basement storage room. “There’s one across the street! It’s headed for the Quills and Sofas store!”
Twilight scanned the relatively empty streets of Ponyville for any signs of the insatiable little creatures that had almost eaten the entire town in their last appearance. Out behind the aforementioned Quills and Sofas shop, she noticed not a parasprite, but a small ball of sofa stuffing laying discarded in the street. Pinkie Pie chose that exact moment to reemerge from the basement, blaring a few severely out-of-tune notes on her recently recovered brass instrument.
“I found it!” Pinkie exclaimed.
Twilight let out a slightly vexed sigh before gesturing to the offending ball of cotton stuffing. “It’s not a parasprite, Pinkie. It’s just some couch stuffing material that got thrown outside.” She explained.
Pinkie glared at the loose ball of fluff for several long moments, as though suspecting it of truly being a parasprite in disguise. Without warning, she regained her normal chaotic demeanor. “Okie dokie loki! Sorry for the false alarm.” She blurted out. The situation defused, Pinkie Pie bounded away as only one with a complete disregard for gravity can, leaving her friends confused, but not surprised.
Fluttershy, having been shocked into stillness by the sudden and inexplicable interruption, finally regained her composure enough to speak. “After everything we’ve seen Pinkie do, she can still find ways to out-do herself.” She and Twilight shared a laugh over the absurdity of the whole situation, leaving Fluttershy feeling more relaxed than she had been in quite some time. Sometimes it’s nice to go back and reminisce about good times. She thought to herself.
Seeming to read her mind, Twilight remarked, “Seems like you and Rainbow Dash hit it off right away. It’s easy to see why you’re such good friends even now.”
A wave of memories from during her time at Flight School crashed over Fluttershy, some less savory than others. With some difficulty, she managed to repress the darker portions of her school days, choosing to focus on the pleasant ones instead. “Oh yes, Rainbow was pretty much the same back then as she is now. She was brave, funny, confident, even a little brash. The other fillies and colts in class would try and bring her down, but once she was in the air, there was no question who was the best.” At this point, Fluttershy had quietly taken a seat on the sill of the library’s main window, watching the sun crawl across the sky with a wistful look in her eyes.
“It was incredible to watch the things Rainbow could do while flying, even back then. She could fly circles around mares and stallions several years ahead of us in Flight School, and it all came to her as naturally as breathing.” A small smile tugged at the edge of Fluttershy's mouth. “Everypony else would throw insults at her, trying to make her feel like she didn’t deserve to be as amazing as she was. None of it fazed her though. All the taunts, all the rumors, they all melted away like snowflakes in a bonfire as soon as Rainbow’s hooves left the ground. Every time I got to watch her fly, it was like watching the sun rise, we were there for 5 years and I never got used to seeing all the astonishing things that she could do.”
Twilight stood transfixed in the doorway of the library, several thoughts racing through her head. She could not remember Fluttershy ever talking for this long, not even about sick bunnies and kittens, her favorite animals to nurse back to health. She was afraid to say anything, unable to bring herself to interrupt the soliloquy that her usually reserved friend was giving. Something else was nagging at the back of her mind though. It wasn’t simply that Fluttershy was suddenly divulging distant memories, it was the tone of her voice, the look in her eyes as she spoke about Rainbow Dash, the way her whole body visibly relaxed while she looked back on the prismatic pony’s exploits.
Twilight's eyes flew open as one thought in particular forced its way to the front of her mind. No... it can’t be. Can it? She wondered to herself asFluttershy sat gazing dreamily out the window. Twilight had seen this type of doe-eyed stare before, in one very specific instance. It was identical to the way that Spike so often looked at Rarity. A thousand questions burned in her mind, but she knew she would have to broach the subject carefully.
Fluttershy sat on the windowsill, idly watching the various ponies in Ponyville go about their business, content to bask in the warmth of the setting sun and relive the memories of Rainbow Dash’s aerial acrobatics from Flight School. She was abruptly woken from her reverie by Twilight clearing her throat in anticipation of a question.
“Ahem. Say, Fluttershy, could I ask you a question? It’s kind of personal.” Twilight asked. A slight flush of color rose in Fluttershy's cheeks as she tried to figure out where the sudden shift in conversation came from.
“Um, well, I suppose. If you really want to, that is.” Fluttershy began tracing the designs in the stained glass at the base of the window, using it as a distraction to avoid eye contact. Twilight took a tentative step towards the window, searching for the right words, not too blunt, but also leaving no room for evasion.
“Have you ever... been... attracted to anypony?” She glanced over at the now deeply blushing Fluttershy as the latter stared intently at the floor, as though wishing she could fall through it.
“N- no. I mean, um, n- not really.” Fluttershy’s voice was barely a whisper as she did her best to keep her cheeks from actively bursting into flames.
Twilight pressed onward. “I have one more question, and remember, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Fluttershy did her best to tear her eyes away from the floor to meet her friend's gaze, a slight nod being all she could manage. Twilight pulled in a deep breath, fully realizing that this next question might be more than the introverted pegasus could handle. “Fluttershy, have you... ever... been attracted to... another mare?”
As soon as Fluttershy heard Twilight finish the question, her eyes widened briefly in shock before slamming shut. Painful memories from Flight School came flooding back, threatening to drown her. The jeers of her fellow classmates came whirling back, as fresh as the day they were spat in her direction. She could hear the fillies and colts in her class chanting after her and Rainbow Dash. Fluttercry and Rainbow Crash sittin’ on a cloud, Two little fillies foolin’ around. The all too familiar walls of the flight school buildings rose up from the darkness, pressing in on her, threatening to crush the life out of her. She could vaguely hear Twilight’s voice calling her back to reality, but it was too late. As the walls pressed ever inward, Fluttershy curled into a terrified ball and was swallowed by the darkness.
*
Fluttershy awoke with a start, her heart rate slowly returning to normal. She attempted to place a hoof on her forehead, only to find herself strapped to a table. A fresh sense of panic began rising in her chest, until she heard a reassuring voice from outside her vision.
“It’s alright, Fluttershy. Calm down. We’re in the basement of the library.” Twilight walked around the table to a position whereFluttershy could see her. “When you blacked out I brought you down here so I could hook you up to my electroencephalograph and see how your brain was reacting. I’m sorry, that all sounds so clinical, but once I figured out what was going on, there was nothing to do but wait it out. I figured it was worth a try.” Twilight gave her an apologetic smile.
Now that she had calmed down and paid attention, Fluttershy noticed that a large device was strapped to her head, pulsating with various colors of lights. “Wow. Where did you even get this thing?” She wondered aloud.
Twilight gave a small sigh, accompanied by a slight shake of her head. “I initially built it to try and use science to understand Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie Sense, but that was a miserable failure. Ever since then it’s been down here, collecting dust.” A sharp beep from a nearby computer broke her train of thought, allowing her to return to her role as pseudo-mad-scientist.
The subject of this particular experiment began to notice her nose itching, unable to scratch it due to the hoof restraints. “Are these straps really necessary anymore, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, scrunching up her nose in an attempt to relieve the itch.
Twilight looked up from a monitor, looking slightly dejected. “I suppose not.” She undid the straps with a flare of magic from her horn. “Sadly, it looks like all of this may have been in vain. I didn’t see any abnormal brain activity while you were unconscious.”
Fluttershy removed the helmet, placing it carefully on the table and hopping onto the floor. She glanced nervously around the lab, uncomfortable around so much foreign technology. “Um, Twilight? Would it be okay if we went back upstairs now? If you’re all done down here?” Without waiting for a reply she apprehensively began walking back up the stair to the library’s main floor.
When they reached the ground floor, Twilight closed and locked the basement door, then turned to face her friend. “Well, the brain scan may have been a dead end, but I do have one theory about what may have caused the blackout.” She warily made her way closer to Fluttershy.
Careful, this one’s perceptive. The poisonous voice in Fluttershy’s head observed. If anypony’s going to figure it out, she will.
She’s only trying to help me. She locked up the voice and focused on Twilight’s concerned expression, a small knot of distress forming in the pit of her stomach. “What’s the theory?” The look in Twilight’s eyes as she searched for the right words was one of fear, not fear that her ideas were wrong, but fear at how Fluttershy might react to them. After a few moments of mental deliberation, Twilight decided to lay it out as simply as possible.
“I think you have romantic feelings for Rainbow Dash.”
Fluttershy sat in stunned silence, her mind refusing to acknowledge the idea Twilight Sparkle was putting forward. There was no possible way she could be correct. The normally brilliant unicorn must have made a mistake somewhere in her logic. “D- do you h- hear yourself, Twilight?” Her blood ran cold at the thought, her heart rate slowly climbing. “H- how could I f- feel that way about... about...” She couldn’t bring herself to say Rainbow’s name. “She’s like a sister to me!” Fluttershy’s normally quiet voice had steadily risen throughout her rant, and by the end she was almost screaming.
Why fight it? The dreaded internal voice questioned.
Because she’s wrong! I don’t feel that way about Rainbow Dash! She shot back.
I’m not the one you have to convince, darling.
Twilight stood immobilized, she had never heard Fluttershy raise her voice except against a rampaging dragon. She was at a complete loss for words. She never imagined that Fluttershy would have reacted like this. If anything, Twilight had expected the normally reserved pony to blush, let out a small squeak and cower in the corner. Such an explosive outburst could mean two things, either Fluttershy really had no feelings for Rainbow Dash outside of normal friendship, or something was causing her to reppress those feelings with disastrous results.
Glancing outside, Fluttershy noticed the sun dipping fully below the horizon, the last rays of light fading rapidly into night. “I- I’m sorry, Twilight. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. It’s getting late, I should really head home.” She turned to make for the library door, but a hoof on her shoulder stopped her.
“I could be wrong.” Twilight stated apologetically “However, I really feel that... my theory offers the best answer to what caused you to black out earlier. If you want to, you’re welcome to spend the night here if you don’t want to walk home in the dark.”
Fluttershy let her head drop slightly. “No, thank you. I have a lot to think about, and I think a nice walk home under the stars may be just what I need.” She looked up and smiled, but the warmth did not reach her eyes. After a moment a look of shock spread across her face. “Oh no, I have to get home and feed all the animals! I completely forgot about them.” Twilight knew better than to stand between Ponyville’s resident animal expert and her furry charges, letting her hoof fall to the floor. Fluttershy trotted over to the door, pushing it open and stopping in the entryway. She turned back with a torn expression on her face.
“I promise I’ll think about... what you said. Maybe after sleeping on it, things will make more sense.” Fluttershy doubted her own words, nights for her rarely brought anything good. Leaving the library and closing the door, the normally ground-bound pegasus decided that a nice flight back to her cottage might be just what she needed. Flaring her wings, she leapt into the air, rising above the houses and shops of Ponyville before angling southwest.
With the wind flowing through her mane and wings, Fluttershy was left with only her own thoughts on the flight back to her home. Lazily weaving back and forth over the dirt road leading from Ponyville to her cottage, the introverted mare replayed in her mind the initial moments after Twilight revealed her theory. She hoped that taking a closer look at her initial feelings would help provide a little clarity.
If you want clarity, all you have to do is ask. The insidious voice in her head piped up.
I can’t deal with talking to myself right now. She beat her wings harder, picking up speed as she approached home. A nice cup of tea and then it’s off to bed. Fluttershy alighted in front of her house, a thousand thoughts whirling through her head all at once, all clamoring for attention. Stepping into her quaint countryside residence, she was greeted with the sight of Angel Bunny sleeping contentedly, an abnormally large pile of carrot greens laying discarded nearby. The mischievous little rabbit had obviously taken advantage of his caretaker’s absence during meal time to gorge himself into a calorie-induced coma.
A tired smile pulled at the corner of Fluttershy’s lips. He’ll never learn, will he? She tip-hoofed across the living room to the kitchen, filling a tea kettle to brew a cup of her homemade herbal tea before bed. Waiting for the water to boil on top of her wood-fired stove, Fluttershy nervously ran through the afternoon’s events at the library again in her head. She was still unable to determine what caused Twilight to start asking about her... romantic interests in other ponies. She had only been describing Rainbow Dash’s flying abilities during their school years.
‘Only describing?’ You made Rainbow sound like a bucking superhero. The mocking reply came from the recesses of Fluttershy’s mind.
I did not! Dash has always been a great flier, that’s never changed.
She may not have changed, but you have.
The whistling tea kettle on the stove broke off Fluttershy's conversation with herself. She poured out a cup of her own special herbal tea, taking a sip and basking in the warmth as it spread through her body. After finishing the cup, she suddenly found it difficult to keep her eyelids from falling. She made her way over to the bed, roughly pulling the covers back and flopping down. Her eyes slid closed and for once Fluttershy slipped into the peaceful realm of dreams unmolested by ghosts and visions of the past.
*
Fluttershy awoke the next morning tangled in the sheets of her bed, her coat covered in a slight sheen of sweat. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears, racing from a series of steadily more inappropriate dreams concerning a certain prismatic pony. Her cheeks flooded in a deep crimson as she recalled the scenario that had been unfolding in her mind before she abruptly returned to reality.
Well well, somepony has an overactive imagination. Came a snide retort from inside her head.
If it were possible, Fluttershy's face would have blushed even deeper with embarrassment. Why was I dreaming about that? I’ve never thought about anypony in... that way. Determined to put the images of the previous night behind her, she got out of bed and busied herself with caring for all the various animals living in and around her secluded cottage. She was pouring bird seed into a bowl for the feathered friends living in her house when another unwanted thought forced its way to the front of her mind.
Don’t you remember that one time at Flight School? When Rainbow Dash was practicing the Inverted Triple Corkscrew Dive? The sly voice in her head questioned.
Fluttershy felt heat flood into her cheeks as the memory came back to her. She and Rainbow Dash had been out on the flight school’s training grounds at the crack of dawn so that the latter could practice her newest daring maneuver in private. Fluttershy was sitting on a nearby cloud as Dash was trying to perfect her timing on the end of her new trick. However, she forgot to account for a patch of turbulence and was forced off-course, crashing into the cloud and its frightened occupant.
The two ponies lay entangled for a moment while Dash recovered from her sudden impact. Rainbow's head was laying on Fluttershy’s neck, draping her in the silken softness of Dash's prismatic mane. As Rainbow regained her senses, she noticed that she had crashed into her friend and muttered, “Sorry ‘bout that ‘Shy.” Dash’s breath played across Fluttershy’s neck, sending jolts of lightning down her spine and causing a slight involuntary twitch in her wings.
The memory faded into nothingness, and Fluttershy fell to the floor as a sudden realization hit her like a kick to the stomach. Sweet Celestia. I... I think I do like Rainbow Dash. She thought to herself, the feelings of the past lingering in her mind. She remembered the velvet feel of Dash’s coat pressed up against hers, the warmth of the blue pegasus’ breath on her neck. Her cheeks flushed scarlet as her heart rate quickened.
It’s about time you came around. The voice in her head chimed in.
No no no no. This can’t be. Rainbow’s a mare, just like me. Two mares can’t be... together. Fluttershy’s mind filled with memories of all the torments she and Dash had endured at flight school for merely being close friends.
Oh, and you were doing so well.
Even if I do like her, it’s not like I could ever tell her. Imagine what she would think of me if I confessed something like that.
What if she felt the same way? The voice in her head argued. Fluttershy tried to get back to tending to her animals, hoping it would distract her from the various fantasies concerning Dash’s reaction playing out in her mind. While depositing a small pile of acorns in the trunk of a tree to feed a squirrel who had broken a paw last week, Fluttershy was interrupted by Angel Bunny waving a pocket watch in her face. The hands on the clock showed the time to be almost ten in the morning.
“Oh my gosh! I’m going to be late to the spa! I hope Rarity isn’t mad at me.” Fluttershy gave Angel a small appreciative hug. “Thanks for reminding me.” With that, she took off in the direction of the Ponyville Spa for her weekly meeting with Rarity. The ground blurred beneath her as she flapped her wings furiously, trying to make up for lost time. She alighted on the cobblestones in front of the spa just as Rarity was arriving, wearing yet another of her overly-extravagant hats.
“Fluttershy, dear. How lovely to see you.” The alabaster mare’s eyes ran over her timid friend’s mane, still disarrayed from the previous night’s exertions. “Whatever happened to your mane? It looks positively dreadful. It seems our spa visit came at just the right time.” With a slight flare of her horn, Rarity opened the door to the facility, causing a bell above the door frame to chime.
Lotus looked up from her magazine behind the reception desk to see the resort’s two most frequent customers. “Ah, Miss Rarity, Miss Flootershy. It ees so nice to see you again. I assume vee vill be having ze regular?”
“Of course dear, thank you. Be sure and pay extra attention to Fluttershy’s mane, it is simply a mess this morning.” Rarity confirmed, placing her hat on a nearby coat rack and heading towards the sauna. Relieved to be able to spend some time with somepony she was comfortable around, Fluttershy trotted into the sauna. She hoped that maybe a nice spa treatment would help her figure out what was going on in her head.
You seemed to know exactly what was going on last night. The venomous voice reared its head yet again.
Stop thinking about that. A slight blush crept into her cheeks, luckily she could easily attribute that to the heat of the sauna. I need to figure out what's going on and what I’m going to do about it now.
You don’t know? A mocking reply came. What about that one part last night where you and Rainbow...
The color in Fluttershy’s cheeks reddened as she clapped a hoof over her mouth, ashamed at the memory that was replaying in her head. A slight squeal escaped her lips, catching the attention of her relaxing spa partner. Rarity’s face changed from restful to concerned as she noticed Fluttershy's flushed complexion.
“Whatever is the problem dear? Is the sauna too hot for you?” Rarity edged closer to her shy friend, knowing that Fluttershy would suffer through any such discomfort rather than vocalize a complaint. Fluttershy's eyes fell to the floor as she shook her head, not trusting herself to speak at the moment. Being the most gossip-hungry mare in Ponyville, Rarity was convinced that an exceptionally juicy piece of news was being hidden from her. However, she also knew that too much interrogation would just cause the fragile pegasus to shut down. The formation of a cunning plan was broken off by an unexpected question.
“Um, Rarity? Have... have you ever, um, liked anypony?” Fluttershy looked up from her intense study of the floor to meet Rarity’s gaze. The deep blush on her cheeks stood testament to how difficult it was for her to ask such a question, but she was determined to press onward. “I mean, um, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, but I was just curious.” Fluttershy quickly amended, pawing at the wooden sauna bench nervously. The usually composed Rarity was visibly shocked by the sudden mention of such a personal topic, but recovered after a few moments.
“Why Fluttershy, whyever do you ask? I certainly don’t mind telling you, but it’s just that... well, you’ve never shown much interest in the subject before.” Even Rarity blushed slightly at the discussion. “I wouldn’t really say I’ve been... romantically interested in anypony. Of course there have been crushes like Prince Blueblood.” A minor note of venom entered her voice at the mention of the Prince, “However, in those cases I was more interested in their lifestyles rather than in the ponies themselves. Why do you ask? Is there perhaps some stallion who has caught your eye?” A mischievous grin played across Rarity’s face at the prospect.
“Oh, no. I was just, um, wondering.” Fluttershy took a deep breath, steeling herself for the next question. “W- what would you think if, um, that is...” Her voice shrank as her resolve started to crumble, but she screwed her eyes shut, determined to finish. “What would you think about t- two m-... m-... two mares being together?” The silence billowed between them. After what felt like an eternity, Fluttershy opened one eye, peering across the steam-filled room to gauge Rarity’s reaction. Several emotions played over her face, confusion followed by a look of deep thought, ultimately replaced with a spark of interest.
“Fluttershy! Are... are you saying that you like mares?” Rarity’s eyes widened in surprise, but there was no judgment in her voice, merely open and honest curiosity.
Sharp as a tack, that one. The voice in Fluttershy’s head sneered. You only practically had to spell it out for her.
Quiet! She’s just curious! Fluttershy began to feel the tight grip of panic deep in her chest, straining her breathing. She forced herself to maintain eye contact, no small feat given the warring feelings of terror and embarrassment fighting for recognition in her head. “I- I don’t know. I- I was at the library yesterday talking to Twilight, and she suggested I might have feelings for R-... a certain mare.” Her voice was barely a whisper by the end, and she found herself unable to recount the episode of unconsciousness or Twilight's idea that Rainbow Dash was the target of her affections.
Rarity looked thoughtful, obviously weighing her choice of words now that she knew her fragile friend had a personal stake in the issue. “Well, I suppose if two ponies truly love one another, it makes no difference if they’re both mares or both stallions.” Rarity smiled at the look of visible relief that flooded Fluttershy’s entire body. “Honestly I don’t see how it’s anypony’s business who somepony else is attracted to. May I ask who this... certain mare is?” She leaned in a little closer, eager to hear anything Fluttershy had to say.
The scarlet color that had just left Fluttershy’s cheeks returned with a vengeance. A squeak of fear escaped her mouth as she shrank back into the wooden bench. “Oh, w- well... i- it’s, um...” Her mind was working feverishly as Rarity listened intently, hanging on every mumbled and stuttered word. Pausing to take a deep breath Fluttershy made up her mind to be honest. “Twilight thinks I like Rainbow Dash!” She blurted out before she had the chance to lose her nerve.
There now, doesn’t it feel better to be honest? The voice in the back of her head asked, lacking its usual malice.
Rarity sat back, a grin spreading across her face. “Oh Fluttershy! That’s wonderful! Now, don’t you worry, I promise I wouldn’t dare tell a soul. This is your decision, but I must thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me.” Her words held sincerity, easing some of the discomfort that Fluttershy felt in her chest. The two friends simply sat in a companionable silence for a few moments, enjoying the trust and openness built over years of friendship.
Through the steam of the sauna, Fluttershy could see Rarity’s face change as a look of contentment was replaced with concern. “Hold on a moment, dear” Rarity broke the silence. “You said that Twilight thinks you have feelings for Rainbow, but what to you think?”
Fluttershy resumed her intense study of the wooden bench below her. “Oh... w- well, um, t- that is... y- you see...” Hear ears flattened back as she admitted defeat. “I just don’t know, Rarity. I feel like... like I could want to be with Rainbow, but every time I think about it...” A small shudder ran down her spine as old memories were brought to the surface by the discussion.
Tears welled up in Fluttershy’s eyes, but she steeled herself and forced the rest of her thoughts into words. “Whenever I think about being with Rainbow, I remember all the horrible times at Flight School. Everypony made fun of us for being such good friends. What if I can’t ever get past that? What if Rainbow and I did get together, but every time I looked at her, it brought up painful memories from the past?”
Rarity’s eyes were wide with surprise, she had known Flight School was a hard time for Fluttershy, but she did not know the full extent of the damage that remained even today. “Fluttershy... I’m so sorry dear. I had no idea.” She apologized.
Fluttershy demurely dabbed roughly at her eyes, wiping away the moisture that had formed there. “It’s alright Rarity. There’s no way you could have known. Dash and I made a... an agreement not to talk about Flight School after we left. It’s a... sensitive subject.” Fluttershy looked up to meet Rarity’s gaze, her eyes were dry but the shadows of deep-seated pain still flickered in them.
A thought occurred to Rarity. “Of course dear, I understand completely. However, don’t you think that if anypony could help you overcome those painful memories, it would be Rainbow? After all, she was there with you, she’s bound to have at least somewhat similar feelings.”
Hmm... maybe I should give her more credit. The voice in Fluttershy’s head commented. She just might be a little sharper than she looks.
At that point, Aloe opened the door to the sauna to inform them that the mud baths were ready, and the two friends spent the rest of the spa trip idly chatting about mundane topics such as the weather and current fashion trends. Fluttershy was relieved that the gossip-loving Rarity was refraining from asking for details about her feelings for Rainbow Dash, especially since even she wasn’t truly sure how she felt just yet.
However, as they were getting out of the mud baths, Rarity chose to ask one final question. “Fluttershy dear, are you going to tell Rainbow Dash about this?” Fluttershy's cheek flooded a deep crimson as she shook her head, not trusting her words. Rarity pursued the topic. “If you want my opinion, I believe you should. Rainbow may not reciprocate your affections, but surely after everything the two of you have been through she would be able to help you sort things out.”
Fluttershy looked into Rarity’s eyes, tears welling up in her own. “What if she can’t, though? What if I tell her and she decides she can’t take it, that she doesn’t want to be friends anymore?” A single tear streaked down her face. “I don’t think I could handle that Rarity. I can’t tell her, I’m too scared.” Her head fell to the floor.
Rarity placed a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Now dear, love is a scary, messy thing. You’ll never know what might be unless you try.” She removed her hoof, using it to lift Fluttershy’s chin and reestablish eye contact. “Besides, remember that Rainbow is the Element of Loyalty, I seriously doubt that she would be willing to throw away everything she has with you simply because you chose to be honest with her.”
Fluttershy could see the truth in Rarity’s words, but could not convince herself. “I’m sorry Rarity, but I just don’t think I can take that risk.”
Once their spa treatment was done, Fluttershy said goodbye to Rarity and began the walk back to her cottage. She had initially intended to fly, but after all the work that had been put into washing and styling Fluttershy's mane, her fashionable friend had insisted that she not dishevel it again by flying.
The sun was directly overhead as Fluttershy reached her cottage, and her stomach announced that it was indeed time for lunch. She was busy in the kitchen preparing a hay and tulip sandwich when a knock at the door broke into her concentration.
“Who could that be?” She wondered aloud to herself. Trotting over to the door and opening it, Fluttershy felt her heart rate pick up. Standing in her doorway was the pony who had so thoroughly occupied her dreams the previous night, Rainbow Dash. The noon time sun played through the prismatic colors of her mane, seeming to set it on fire.
“Hey there ‘Shy, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by and see ya. We didn’t really get to talk much at the library yesterday.” Dash took a few steps into the cottage, waiting for her fillyhood friend to regain the ability to speak.
After a moment, the stunned Fluttershy responded, “Oh, of course Rainbow. It’s so nice to see you. Please, have a seat.” She gestured to the couch and began walking back to the kitchen. “I just made some lunch, do you want anything?” Fluttershy placed a hoof on the counter to steady herself. Her spiking heart beat combined with a sudden difficulty breathing making her light-headed.
What’s going on? She thought to herself. This has never happened before. What if... what if Twilight is right?
What do you mean ‘what if?’ Her mind shot back You mean that being unable to breathe and practically passing out in the kitchen isn’t enough to convince you?
“Nah, I’m good.” Dash replied from the couch as Fluttershy came back into the room with her sandwich. Taking a seat in an old bean bag from her days at Flight School, Fluttershy took a bite of her lunch, hoping that the thundering sounds of her heart were not audible to her crush a few feet away. The oblivious Dash laid back on the couch, getting comfortable while waiting for her hungry friend to eat a few mouthfuls of her sandwich.
As the silence began to stretch from companionable into awkward, Fluttershy put down her plate and searched from something to start a conversation with. Her thoughts drifted back to the library the previous day. “So, Twilight tells me you’ve been spending a lot of time at the library reading those Daring Do books. You do know that she’ll let you take them home, right?” Having successfully broken the silence, Fluttershy’s mind wandered to some of her dreams from the previous night, but she forcibly stopped that train of thought before it could gather momentum.
“Haha, yea.” Dash laughed. “Imagine what it would do to my reputation though, I can’t have people thinkin’ I’m an egghead like Twi’.” She cringed in fake-horror before bursting out laughing again. Over on the bean bag, Fluttershy’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of her crush’s laugh and a slight twitch in her wings went thankfully unnoticed.
Why am I suddenly so... nervous around her?
You’ve finally admitted you care about her. The voice in her head answered. Now, do try not to mess it up.
Fluttershy’s mind began racing with this thought. Oh no! What if I do mess it up? What if I do or say something to make her uncomfortable? As these thoughts bounded through her head, the all-too-familiar feeling of panic began to spread through her chest. Suddenly, the walls of the cottage seemed a little closer than they had been a moment ago. Fluttershy’s heart began hammering in her ears as she recognized the beginnings of another panic attack coming on.
Blacking out in front of Rainbow again? Trying to make it a habit, are we? Her mind scoffed.
No, this can’t be happening. Please not now. She begged, but already the encroaching walls were threateningly close and it was becoming difficult to breathe. Over on the couch, Rainbow noticed the sudden expression of fear on her friend’s face.
Dash leaned forward, concern etched on her face. “You alright ‘Shy? Ya got that same look ya had at the hospital.” She anxiously hopped onto the floor and walked over to her friend, placing a reassuring hoof on her shoulder. “Ya feelin’ okay?” She asked.
The feeling of Rainbow’s hoof on her shoulder snapped Fluttershy back to the present, sending the walls of the cottage back to their proper places. She looked at her fillyhood friend to mumble some apology, but the words seized in her throat. For the first time, she noticed the deep magenta pools of Dash’s eyes. She found herself captivated, wishing for nothing more but to be able to simply lose herself in those eyes.
Sure, gaze deeply into her eyes. That won’t make things awkward. Jeered the voice in her head.
The thought caused Fluttershy’s cheeks to blush fiercely, her eyes dropping to stare at her forehooves. “Sorry, Rainbow. I’ve been having a hard time... focusing recently.” For the second time that day, a revelation hit her like a ton of bricks. Feeling her heart beat thunder in her chest, she prayed that the blue pegasus dominating her thoughts could not hear it. “Listen Rainbow, I’m really sorry but I have a lot of sick animals to treat today. I feel terrible for cutting your visit short, but I really do need to get back to work.”
Dash took a step back, her hoof falling to the floor. She was not offended, but she could not recall any time that Fluttershy had ever asked anypony to do anything without a hastily added “If you don’t mind.”
“Uh, sure, no problem. I’ll see ya later then... I guess.” Dash made her way towards the door, shrugging. Pulling open the door, she stepped outside, flapping her wings a few times and hovering a few feet above the ground. “Take care ‘Shy, don’t work too hard.”
With those words, Rainbow took off towards her cloud home off to the north. Fluttershy closed the door, and leaned her head against the wood. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind, all clamoring for attention. However, one forced its way to the forefront, refusing to go unacknowledged. She let out a bewildered sighed, resigning herself to the truth of the situation.
“Dear Celestia. I... I think I’m falling in love with Rainbow Dash.”
Fluttershy crossed the living room of her countryside home, flopping down on the couch and burying her face in the pillows. “Why? Oh Celestia, why did it have to be Rainbow Dash?” She complained to the empty air, her voice muffled by the cushions. Visions of Dash’s magenta eyes floated through her distraught mind in the darkness.
Honestly, how could it have not been her? The question boiled up from the recesses of her mind. After all you two have been through, it’s amazing it took this long.
She’s my best friend, she’s like a sister to me! Fluttershy shot back.
In five years at Flight School, she was your only friend. Her mind replied. All the other fillies and colts wouldn’t come near you because of Rainbow Dash. Everypony hated her for being as good as she was and they hated you for being so close to her. They didn’t want to risk getting close to you because they didn’t want to get caught in the cross-fire of everypony trying to bring Dash down.
They were jealous! Fluttershy spat vehemently, an abrupt white-hot fury filling her chest. Suddenly, the idea that anypony had disliked Rainbow for simply being herself was almost more than she could stand. They knew they couldn’t touch Dash in the air, so they came after her on the ground. The joke’s on them though, none of it was enough to stop her from being amazing.
Maybe not. But in every battle there are... unintended casualties.
The fiery anger in Fluttershy’s chest was instantly extinguished. With an irritated sigh, she lifted her head from the comforting recesses of the couch to look at the clock, it read one in the afternoon. I can’t take any more of this right now. She thought to herself, getting up off the couch and stretching out her legs.
Fluttershy busied herself caring for the various animals living in and around her house. Luckily for her, an outbreak of Avian Flu had sprung up in the local bird community, so there were plenty of sick patients for Ponyville’s unofficial veterinarian to tend to. Fluttershy tried her best to keep busy, but every time she closed her eyes she saw Rainbow’s beautiful eyes floating in her vision.
By the time Fluttershy had sent the last sparrow on his way home, Celestia’s sun was merely a sliver on the horizon. With no friendly critters left to distract her, she had nothing to keep her troubled mind from over-analyzing her newly discovered feelings for Rainbow Dash. In her self-pity, the vexed pegasus walked into the kitchen, glancing at the tea kettle on the stove.
You’re going to need something a little stronger than tea tonight. The voice in her head sneered.
Shut up. She replied halfheartedly, simultaneously realizing the truth of the words. Fluttershy placed both forehooves on the edge of her kitchen table, pressing her weight into it. With a screech, the table slowly slid a few inches towards the back wall of the cottage. Reaching down to the ground, Fluttershy pulled up on a loose floorboard to reveal a small, hidden storage space beneath. Under the floor there was a single glass and a mostly-full bottle of Old Thunderhead whiskey.
It’s been a while since you had to resort to the Old Thunderhead. Her mind quipped.
At least when I do, you seem to go away for a while. She replied, pouring a healthy dose of the potent liquid into the glass. Lifting the glass to her lips, Fluttershy threw her head back, downing the liquor in one gulp. She inhaled sharply at the familiar burning sensation cascading through her throat into her stomach.
Without missing a beat, she refilled the glass and repeated the process. For the next thirty minutes, she sat at the table, attempting drown her sorrows as the room around her became progressively more unstable. After finishing her fifth glass of Old Thunderhead, Fluttershy threw the glass across the kitchen, watching it shatter into thousands of tiny fragments. “Buck this.” She told the empty kitchen.
I’m gonna go see Rainbow, right now. She thought to herself. You got anything to say about that? For once her mind was silent in response.
That’s what I thought. Fluttershy stood up from the table, causing the room to suddenly begin spinning around her. She made her way unsteadily to the door, pulling it open on the third try. Stepping outside into the cool night air, she drunkenly flared her wings and took to the air. She headed off to the north, or at least her best approximation of north since Celestia’s sun had given way to Luna’s moon and stars. For the next few minutes, she flew in silence, then she broke he cardinal rule of flying: She closed her eyes.
Fluttershy glided along, eyes closed, relishing the feeling of the wind in her mane and the freedom that came with flying. Without warning a sharp pain struck her in her left shoulder, accompanied by a dull thump. Her eyes flew open in panic as she fell to the ground. Landing on her back, Fluttershy looked up to see a pair of trees swimming in her vision. As she regained some focus the two trees merged to form just one, full of apples. A swarm of crows took flight from the canopy of the tree, awoken by her crash and cawing out wildly into the otherwise silent night.
The drunken pegasus felt the grass beneath her, suddenly sleepy. She rolled onto her side to sleep off the alcohol coursing through her system. A rustle from behind her grabbed her tired attention, but she couldn’t muster the energy to investigate. A soft glow of light rose around her, but the source was outside her field of view.
“What in tarnation?” A familiar voice asked, but in her impaired state Fluttershy couldn’t connect the voice with a name or face. “Big Mac! Come ‘ere!” The voice called, but Fluttershy could no longer fight off sleep and she drifted off into unconsciousness.
*
As Fluttershy awoke, a throbbing pain stabbed through her head. Even through her eyelids, the room was unbearably bright. She pulled the pillow over her head to block out the light. “Angel...” She moaned, “Angel... momma needs water.”
“Comin’ right up, sugarcube.” Came a voice with a distinctive drawl. Fluttershy bolted upright, immediately regretting the decision. The sudden movement redoubled the pain her head, and the world was even brighter with her eyes open. She fell back to the bed, laying a forehoof over her face to try and block out some light.
“Applejack? Why are you here?” Her were barely above a whisper, but her hangover made them louder than peals of thunder. She felt a cool glass placed into the forehoof not covering her eyes and lifted it to her mouth, draining the blissfully cold water in one motion.
“Well, Ah reckon that would be ‘cause Ah live here.” Applejack replied, a note of amusement in her voice.
“Live here? Wait... we’re at Sweet Apple Acres?” Fluttershy removed the hoof from her eyes and opened them slowly. The room surrounding her was thankfully not spinning, but was indeed part of the rustic farmhouse of the Apple family. Pictures of various Apple family members adorned the walls, including a photo of the group that had initially settled the area that would one day become Ponyville. The photo was worn and discolored with time, but a filly Granny Smith was clearly visible in the first row of ponies.
“Eeyup.” A deep bass voice responded. Fluttershy looked over to see Big Mac standing in the doorway. He had a tray balanced on his back bearing a steaming plate of eggs and a stack of hay waffles. Applejack took the tray and placed it in Fluttershy’s lap.
“When yer feelin’ up to it, Ah’d suggest gettin’ a little food in ya. Should help with the headache.” Applejack took a seat in a rocking chair nestled in the corner of the room. Fluttershy slowly sat up, taking the fork from the tray and scooping up a clump of the eggs.
“How did I even get here, AJ?” Fluttershy asked before popping the eggs into her mouth. A healthy dose of pepper had been added to the eggs, giving them a pleasant kick.
“Well, Ah was hopin’ that ya might be able to tell us. Ah found ya outside under one a the apple trees last night, drunk as a skunk. By the time Ah got Big Mac out there to help move ya, you were fast asleep.” Applejack leaned back in the rocking chair, looking over Fluttershy with an appraising eye. “Ah have to be honest, Ah never pictured ya for much of a drinker ‘Shy. Based on the smell... Ah’d guess whiskey.”
Fluttershy blushed, the sudden rush of blood to her face increasing the pain in her head. “Um... yea. I only drink on... special occasions.” She speared a chunk of waffle, hurriedly stuffing it in her mouth to give herself time to think.
Do you really think you can lie to her? The insidious voice in Fluttershy’s head made its dreaded return. She is the Element of Honesty after all.
My head hurts way too much to deal with you right now. She reached up with her forehooves to rub her temples. “Unfortunately, every time I do drink... I remember why I only do it on special occasions.” She picked up the fork and ate another bite of eggs.
Applejack chuckled. “Yea, we all been there.” The farm-pony leaned forward, a questioning look in her eyes. “Now what’s this ‘special occasion’ you were talkin’ bout? Anythin’ Ah should be aware of?” The rocking chair creaked, the sound sending a spike of pain shooting through Fluttershy’s head.
“Oh... um, no.” Fluttershy muttered. “It was a... private situation.”
One that almost got a little less private. As I recall, you were on your way to Rainbow Dash’s house before you ran into a tree.
Again, I can’t deal with you right now. Fluttershy nervously pushed the remaining food away, her appetite suddenly gone. Maybe Applejack can help me with this whole Rainbow Dash situation. She’s the most honest pony I know.
Honest doesn’t mean supportive. Her mind argued.
She’s my friend, I’m sure she’ll understand.
Remember how Rarity had to think about her answer when she knew you had a personal stake in the issue?
The thought took root in Fluttershy’s mind. Rarity did think for a minute once she made the connection. I should ask AJ before she knows about... that. Fluttershy was still having difficulty admitting to herself that she had feelings for Rainbow Dash. As the silence billowed between them, she hesitantly searched for a way to bring up the topic.
“Say, Applejack, I was at the spa yesterday with Rarity and an... interesting topic came up.” Fluttershy’s cheeks flared with color as she tried to work up the courage to recount the previous day’s conversation. “Um... I was just wondering i- if I could ask you about it. I- if you don’t mind, that is.” Her eyes fell to the eggs as she moved them around the plate to avoid eye contact.
Applejack leaned back in the chair, causing another creak to sound in the silence. “Sure thing ‘Shy. What’s got ya all flustered? Yer face is gettin’ redder than a red delicious apple over there.” A look of concern replaced her normally jovial expression. She hopped down from the chair and walked over to the bedside.
Fluttershy suddenly realized that she could not tell Applejack about how the subject had come up at the spa without risking her making the assumption that either Rarity or she might be interested in mares. Searching her mind furiously for a way to bring up the subject innocently, she alighted on a rumor she had heard from Rarity at their spa visit a few weeks ago.
“Oh, well Rarity had heard that Lyra and Bon Bon were seen having lunch together at The Cantering Café last month. It was pretty obvious that they were... together.” Fluttershy's voice was barely above a whisper. “Um, it got us talking about... about two mares being together... a- about being marefriends.”
Fluttershy looked up to to see a sneer had replaced Applejack’s earlier look of concern. “Them two fillyfoolers?” She spat the last word. “They’re out an’ about just airin’ their affections in public? It just ain’t natural, two mares bein’ together like that. A nice, proper relationship is between a stallion and a mare.”
The words hit Fluttershy in the stomach like one of Applejack's powerful kicks. Tears welled up reflexively in Fluttershy’s eyes, thankfully hidden from Applejack by her long mane. She bit her lip to keep from crying, but was unable to keep a single tear from rolling down her cheek.
Fluttershy took a deep breath, focusing on keeping her voice level. “B- but surely... i- if two ponies l- lo-...” She was unable to utter the word “love” in her current state. “If two ponies care for one another, it shouldn’t matter.”
Applejack scoffed at the notion. “Pff... Ah reckon it might seem like they care for each other, but Ah guarantee that them fillyfoolers are just that, foolin’ around. Ain’t no mare in her right mind would think a pursuin’ a meanin’ful relationship with another mare.” She emphasized her last statement with a stomp of her hoof.
Fluttershy cringed at her friend’s reaction. True, she had not indicated that the topic was a personal one, but the undisguised loathing and hatred that filled Applejack’s words left little room for discussion on the subject. Maybe she’s right. Maybe there is something wrong with me.
Well, you do seem to spend a good amount of time talking to yourself. Her mind replied.
Dozens of thoughts were racing through Fluttershy’s head, but she knew she couldn’t sort them out in front of Applejack. Pushing her roiling emotions deep into the recesses of her mind, she set a calm expression on her face before finally looking up to meet her friend’s gaze. “Thanks for all your help AJ, I feel a lot better now. I need to get back home to tend to my animal friends.” She pushed the covers back on the bed and hopped to the floor.
“You sure yer feelin’ alright ‘Shy? Ya seem a little... off.” A spark of regret lit up in Applejack’s eyes. “It weren’t nothin’ Ah said was it?” It was her turn to blush in embarrassment. “Ah’m mighty sorry if anythin’ Ah said was... offensive. It’s just that... well the subject is a might sensitive ‘round these parts. As Ah’m sure you can imagine, Granny Smith is an old-fashioned pony. Ah stand by what Ah said, but Ah suppose Ah was a bit... harsh.”
Fluttershy waved a hoof dismissively. “You were just being honest AJ, that’s all. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from you. Now, if you’ll excuse me I really do need to be going.” She timidly gave Applejack a reassuring smile, although the warmth did not reach her eyes.
Applejack did not look convinced, but decided against pressing the issue. “Well, if yer sure about that...” She turned to leave the room, sparing one last glance over her shoulder.
Once Fluttershy had left the Apple family’s farmhouse, all of the thoughts and emotions she had been suppressing in front of Applejack came roaring back to the front of her mind. What if she’s right? What if my feelings for... for Rainbow mean that there’s something wrong with me? What if it’s not something that can be fixed? Her heart sank as she considered the possibility. Moisture pooled in her eyes as she recalled the disdain with which Applejack had referred to Lyra and Bon Bon as “fillyfoolers.”
It’s not like you’ve never been called that before. Her mind pointed out.
I know, but that was different. Fluttershy let her head fall as she slowly walked. The fillies and colts in school just hated Rainbow and me. This is Applejack. She’s one of my best friends. How do you think she would react if Dash and I got together?
Together? Her internal voice sneered. You can’t even work up the courage to decide how you feel about Dash, much less to tell her about it.
I... I think I might love Rainbow. Fluttershy cringed at the thought, but she was surprised that she cringed at “might” and not “love.” No... I’m not going to hide from it anymore. I love Rainbow Dash. The bashful mare blushed crimson despite the words only being in her head. Fluttershy felt as though the butterflies adorning her flank had migrated to her stomach. Shortly, she imagined herself telling Dash about her feelings, but the thought inadvertently roused the recent memory of Applejack’s rant.
Not everypony is like Applejack and her family. The voice suggested. The Apples are just old-fashioned, AJ said so herself.
Yes, but Ponyville is an old-fashioned town. This isn’t Manehattan or Fillydelphia. Fluttershy picked up her head, realizing something was out of place. Wait a second... I feel like we’re on the wrong sides of the argument. Shouldn’t you be telling me that no one would accept Dash and me being together while I try and make it seem like it would work?
Her mind was quiet.
Seriously? Now you have nothing to say?
Silence.
She dejectedly let her head fall as more recollections boiled to the surface. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had been subjected to countless taunts and jeers due to their close friendship during flight school. In all honesty, “fillyfoolers” was one of the kinder terms that had been flung in their direction. What if they were all right? She wondered to herself. All of them. The ones that called us “fillyfoolers,” the ones that said I was a weak flier... Thunderlane. A shudder of terror passed down her spine as Fluttershy recalled that particular colt.
The memory surged from the depths of her subconscious, as vivid as the day it had happened all those years ago. The cold cloud of the lockers behind her, Fleetfoot and his two friends towering over her, a sadistic grin on his face. Fluttershy felt an icy fist of panic clench over her heart. Looking around frantically, she noticed the nearby barn of Sweet Apple Acres and sprinted inside. Fluttershy knew that there was nothing she could do to stop the blackout from coming, but she was resolved to not let Applejack or Big Mac find her lying unconscious outside their house.
She made it into the barn just as her vision began to fade. She laid down on the cool dirt floor, tears streaming down her face. She knew just what waited for her on the other side of the darkness.
*
Slowly, the darkness receded from Fluttershy’s vision, but she knew better than to assume that the worst had passed. She tried to get to her feet, but her movements were sloppy and uncoordinated, as though she were trying to move through syrup. After a few moments, she managed to stand up and looked around at her surroundings. Tall banks of lockers extended off to her left and right, made from the cold, functional cumulonimbus cloud that comprised so many of the Flight School’s buildings.
Without warning, a bloodcurdling scream split the air. Fluttershy’s heart beat picked up at the sound, it was her scream after all. It had not come from her this time, but in the past, during the memory that was the source of this never-ending torment. She knew what came next, but that made it no easier to bear. Three formless black shadows materialized in front of her, each standing twice as tall as her. Instinctively, she fearfully tried to back away, only to meet the cold resistance of the lockers behind her.
The center shadow continued to grow, becoming three, then four, finally five times larger than Fluttershy. Two blood-red eyes opened, glaring down at her. A pair of wings spread out behind it, but in place of common feathers an array of razor sharp blades fanned out. Finally, a mocking smile split the nebulous blackness of the shadow’s face, a smile that hid unimaginable cruelty. A low, rumbling chuckle sounded, coming from everywhere at once. The amorphous horror advanced towards her cowering form, threatening to suck the very air from her lungs and suffocate her. This time, Fluttershy did scream.
*
Fluttershy awoke from the nightmare, her body shaking and rivulets of sweat running down her face. She quickly glanced around the barn, letting out a sigh of relief when she realized she was still alone. Based on the position of the sun, she guessed at least an hour had passed since her descent into terror. Slowly, she warily got to her hooves, her knees still shaking slightly. She closed her eyes in an attempt to regain her composure.
How much longer do you think you can keep this up? The voice in her head asked. You barely made it in here this time, two days ago you blacked out in front of Twilight and you’ve almost done it in front of Rainbow twice. It’s getting worse, and you know it.
A single tear escaped Fluttershy’s closed eyes, leaving a damp track down her dirt-stained cheek. As much as she hated indulging her tendency to talk to herself, she knew things were bad if her internal voice was trying to be helpful. What exactly do you suggest I do?
I’m you, remember? If you don’t know, how do you expect me to? You need to figure it out fast though, time’s running out.
No. Time isn’t running out, time’s up. It’s been ten years. I thought it would get better as time passed, but it’s only gotten worse. I can’t do this anymore. Fluttershy opened her eyes as a single overwhelming thought forced its way into her mind. Looking around the barn, her eyes alighted on a coil of rope and the plan crystallized in her head. She trotted over to the rope, picking it up and holding it in a forehoof. She stepped out of the barn, flared her wings and took to the air with a leap. She wearily angled towards her countryside cottage, a grim determination shining in her eyes.
*
Tears fell on the sheet of parchment, staining it slightly and smudging a few of the letters. Fluttershy put down the quill she had been using to write and picked up her note to her friends, reading it over one final time.
My dearest friends,
Words cannot adequately express how sorry I am to do this to all of you. However, I truly feel that I have been left with no other choice. For years now, I have been tormented by the ghosts of my past, unable to bury them in the past where they belong. For ten years, I have tried to cope with the pain, with the nightmares. I prayed every night it would get better, but it has only gotten worse with time. I cannot do it anymore, I’m sorry. Please do not blame yourselves, I want you to know that all of your support and friendship over the years made life so much easier to bear. Sadly, there are some things in life that we have to face alone, and I was not strong enough. Thank you all for everything you did for me, I only wish I could have repaid your kindness in some way.
Your friend, Fluttershy
Fluttershy tearfully rolled up the note, sealing it and leaving it in plain view on her table with a small scrap of paper bearing all five of her friends’ names. She took a second sheet of parchment in her hooves, containing a letter addressed specifically to Rainbow Dash.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
The past week has been painfully full of both memories of our time at flight school and revelations about myself. However, in the midst of all the darkness there was one spark of light. I realized something, it’s something I have been running from for years. I love you Rainbow Dash. I have never been more certain of anything in my entire life. I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize it, and I understand that you probably don’t feel the same way. I just had to let you know. You were there for me when nopony else was, and I could never hope to repay you for that. I only hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
I love you with all of my heart, Fluttershy
Fluttershy rolled up the second note and sealed it as well, laying it beside the first note. She turned and inspected the rest of the living room. The couch that normally sat near the center of the room had been pushed up against the western wall and a single wooden chair from the kitchen sat isolated in the middle of the space. Swaying ominously above the chair, a noose hung from the rafter, fashioned from most of the rope she had taken from the Sweet Apple Acres barn.
Fluttershy slowly picked up the remaining length of rope that had not been used to make the noose and wrapped it around her chest twice, trapping her wings to her sides. The last thing that she wanted was any sort of self-preservation instinct taking over and foiling her plans. She took one last look around her cottage, making sure everything was in order. The door was locked, all the animals had been moved outside, and old newspaper was covering all the windows.
This isn’t the way! You know it! The voice in her head tried to talk her down one last time. What about Rainbow? You’ve finally admitted you love her and now you’re just going to off yourself?
Fluttershy took a deep breath to gather her resolve and walked slowly to the chair in the middle of the room. That’s the problem. Every time I even think about Dash... you saw what happened in the barn. How could we be together if every time I think about her I black out? With her wings disabled, she had to sit in the chair, pull her hind legs up, and use the back of the chair as leverage to stand upright. She took the noose in one forehoof and slid it over her head, pulling her mane through before tightening the rope around her neck.
Tears began to well up in Fluttershy’s eyes, a single drop escaping to roll down her cheeks. She took one final look at the table where the two notes lay, awaiting whichever of her friends was unfortunate enough to be the first to wonder why they had not seen her recently. Taking one final calming breath, she closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry Rainbow.”
With that, Fluttershy kicked the chair out from under her.
I haven’t seen Fluttershy in a couple days... I hope she’s OK after what happened at the library.
Twilight Sparkle walked up the dirt road leading to Fluttershy’s secluded cottage. The afternoon sun beat down, making the day uncomfortably warm. As she approached the timid pegasus’ home, she had a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something was wrong, but she could not put her hoof on it.
I’m sure it’s nothing. Fluttershy just needed some time to think, that’s all. She always falls back on taking care of her sick animals when-
Twilight stopped dead in her tracks. The problem was not what was present, but what was missing. The area around Fluttershy’s cottage was deathly silent. Normally the chatter of all kinds of furry and feathered animals permeated the air, but today not a single sound broke the stillness. Twilight broke into a full sprint up to the cottage, she knew something was horribly wrong. As she approached, she noticed that all the windows were covered with what appeared to be pages from the newspaper.
Without breaking stride, Twilight summoned her magic. Her horn flared to life as she magically grasped the handle of the door and gave it a push. The door did not budge. A sudden panic rose in her chest, and she shifted her magic to grab the entire door. With a thought, she ripped it off of its hinges, spraying broken bits of wood onto the ground. She ran into the cottage, but froze in place just inside the doorway.
Fluttershy’s body hung, unmoving, suspended from the ceiling by a rope around her neck, and a chair lay discarded nearby. Twilight’s brain was unable to process the image in front of her. Acting purely on instinct rather than conscious thought, she shot a bolt of magic at the rope, severing it. Through her panic, she summoned a magical pillow, catching the now-falling Fluttershy and lowering her softly to the ground.
Twilight ran over to her fallen friend and immediately lowered an ear to Fluttershy’s chest. Her heart was still beating, but it was weak and the beats were irregular. More importantly, even with the rope no longer crushing her airway, she was not breathing. Twilight pulled a length of rope off of Fluttershy’s chest and placed her forehooves on her sternum. She began chest compressions while she wracked her mind for a solution.
Every problem has a solution. Her brain needs oxygen. Breathe into her lungs? Too slow, ambient air is only 21% oxygen. Need a tank of pure oxygen. Impossible, don’t have one here, not enough time to get to the hospital. Need a way to concentrate oxygen from ambient air. How? Partitioning spell. Can use spell to separate out oxygen from rest of air.
Continuing her chest compressions, Twilight reignited her horn and began weaving the Partitioning spell. It was a simple enough spell in theory, it could be used to magically separate mixtures or solutions into their constituent components. Focusing her magic, she compressed the oxygen in the ambient air into a smaller space, forcing out all the other gases present. Adding a bit of telekinesis, Twilight passed the ball of pure oxygen down Fluttershy’s trachea and into her lungs. Time seemed to stand still, each excruciating second passing with no visible result.
No... she can’t be gone. I won’t give up on her.
Twilight repeated the Partitioning spell, gathering a second ball of pure oxygen and started compressions on Fluttershy’s chest again. Five seconds passed, then ten. She frantically repeated the process one more time. By now, tears were streaming down her face as she began to think she had arrived too late.
Without warning, Fluttershy began coughing violently. After the coughing subsided, she inhaled deeply and then began breathing on her own. After several moments, she slowly opened her eyes. “How?” She rasped.
“Fluttershy! Thank Celestia! I was so scared.” Twilight leaned down to hug Fluttershy's prone form, sobbing softly into her pink mane. Her body was shaking from her friend’s close encounter with death, and it was all she could do to clutch Fluttershy tightly and cry.
“Twilight? You... you brought me back?” Fluttershy looked up and saw the magically sheared rope hanging from the ceiling. Her one chance... gone. Tears rose in her eyes, knowing that not only had she failed to escape the torment of her past, but now she would have to answer for her attempted suicide to Twilight, if not all of her friends.
Twilight pulled away, sniffing and dabbing at her eyes. “Back? No, you were still alive when I got here... barely. Why in Equestria would you do something like that Fluttershy? What could possibly make you feel like that is acceptable?” A sudden flare of anger rose in Twilight’s chest, lending an accusatory tone to her words. With difficulty, she suppressed the anger, realizing that the distressed pegasus was likely in a fragile state, both physically and emotionally.
Fluttershy rolled over and pushed herself up into a sitting position. “I’m so sorry Twilight, I know that it must seem cruel, selfish and cowardly. I... I just can’t take it anymore.” Fresh tears rose in her eyes as she looked over at the mare who had saved her life. “Do you remember the blackout I had at the library? I’ve been suffering through those for ten years. Ever since Dash and I left Flight School. I kept hoping things would get better, but they never did.”
Twilight threw her hooves up in frustration. “So this is your answer?” The words came out sharper than she intended as the anger from before slowly rose in her chest again. She paused took a deep calming breath before continuing. “Fluttershy, you know you can always come and talk to any of us about anything. We’re all here to help you.”
Fluttershy gave a sharp, humorless laugh. “Ha. Sure. Imagine how that conversation would go.” She adopted a faux-cheerful tone. “‘Oh hi Twilight, I was just wondering if you could help me with a little problem I’ve been having. You see, I randomly blackout and re-live horrific portions of my past from time to time.’ You guys would throw me in a mental institution.” Fluttershy’s ears flattened back nervously. “It didn’t used to be that bad, maybe once a week. It happened rarely enough that I had time to recover from one before the next one hit. Recently, they’ve been getting worse. A few months ago it was up to every other day, but I’ve had three in the last three days and almost had two more but Rainbow Dash was able to pull me out of them.”
Twilight sat there, dumbstruck. Words refused to form in her head. Fluttershy was not her usual shy self, cringing from such a personal and painful discussion. She simply looked defeated, as though she had given up on everything. Of course she’s given up. She just tried to... Twilight shook her head, unable to finish the thought.
“There has to be a reason." Twilight tried in vain to analyze the new situation logically. "These kind of things don’t happen randomly. There are ponies out there that can help you. Therapists, Psychiatrists...”
“You don’t think I tried that?” Fluttershy snapped back. “I was in therapy for three years. The best they could come up with was that all the torments and trauma I suffered in Flight School were being repressed and occasionally resurfacing, resulting in the blackouts. Well la-dee-bucking-da, I could have told them that on day one!” All the anger and bitterness suddenly drained from Fluttershy's chest, causing her entire body to slump. “I’m sorry Twilight, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.” She mumbled apologetically.
Twilight sat immobilized, once again unable to find any words that seemed appropriate. Finally, the rational portion of her mind reengaged, having been shut down in favor of instinctual reaction ever since she entered the cottage. She placed a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry Fluttershy, but surely you can see that... that this isn’t the right answer.” She gestured to the rope still wrapped around the yellow mare’s neck.
Fluttershy seemed to notice the noose around her neck for the first time. She loosened it with her forehooves and slid it over her head, gazing at it almost longingly before tossing it aside. “I know, It’s just... I’m at the end of my rope here, Twilight.” After a moment, Fluttershy belatedly noticed her poor choice of words and clapped a hoof over her mouth, her cheeks blushing a deep scarlet. A small snort escaped her throat, followed by another. Eventually, she could no longer hold in the laughter bubbling up and she burst out giggling.
Even with her mind still reeling from the seriousness of the situation, Twilight could not help but smile at Fluttershy’s coincidental choice of words. After her giggling friend calmed down, she pressed on. “I know that things seem bad, but don’t you think this is a little extreme?”
Fluttershy hung her head. “Oh, this wasn’t the first step.” She turned to look into the kitchen. “The first step was when I started drinking.” Twilight’s mouth fell open at this admission, and Fluttershy could not help but chuckle at her stunned expression. “Oh Twilight, it’s not as though I would get drunk every night, just after... bad days. I thought that maybe it would help, but it never did. Actually, it usually did more harm than good, like last night.”
“Wait, what happened last night?” Twilight asked as she finally regained the ability to speak.
“Well, after having a few drinks, I decided to go for a little flight.” Fluttershy intentionally omitted the purpose of the previous night’s excursion. “I guess at some point I closed my eyes and crashed into a tree out at Sweet Apple Acres. I wasn’t hurt or anything, but AJ and Big Mac found me lying out in the grass and brought me inside.”
“At least you weren’t hurt.” Twilight remarked. “That doesn’t seem all that bad. Unless... did anything happen at Sweet Apple Acres?”
Fluttershy shrunk in on herself as the memories of Applejack’s rant came back to her. “Well, um... kind of.” A minor blush rose in her cheeks. “I had a... talk with Applejack in the morning. With your theory about me and Rainbow Dash, I asked her what she thought about two mares being together. She was... opposed to the idea, rather vehemently actually.”
Twilight’s mouth worked open and closed, but no words came out. “I... You... I don’t...” She stammered. “Don’t tell me that’s why you did this, is it?” She shook her head. Too many disparate thoughts were running through her mind, she was having trouble focusing on just one. “Besides, I thought your problems were from what happened in Flight School. We all know that Flight School was hard for you, but you and Dash never talk about it.”
“Yea.” Fluttershy sighed. “We agreed after we left that we wouldn’t talk about what happened back then.” A wry smirk tugged at the edge of her mouth. “If it’s so shocking to you that I drink, what would you say if I told you this isn’t the first time I thought about... ending it all?”
“What?” Twilight leaned back as far as she could from her seated position. “Why? How?”
Fluttershy shrugged indifferently. “It was always simple enough. Over the years, I’ve learned everything there is to know about animal anatomy and physiology. I know where all the major blood vessels are. There’s one located just below the skin right here.” She pointed to a spot just above her hoof on her foreleg. “One little slice, nick the vein, and you’ll bleed out in around five minutes. It could easily be disguised as an accident, something that happened while chopping up vegetables.” At this point Twilight’s expression was a pale mask of muted horror, all the color drained from her face.
Twilight decided she needed to change the subject. The mention of an agreement between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash not to talk about Flight School had piqued her curiosity, although her friend’s admission to previously considering suicide had shocked her almost beyond words. She searched for a way to gently inquire about Fluttershy’s past. “Say, do you think that you might be willing to tell me about Flight School? I’m no psychologist, but I did just finish a book from the Canterlot library on equine mental disorders. I might be able to help.”
See? You could have just asked Twilight two days ago at the library and avoided this whole botched hanging. The poisonous voice in Fluttershy’s head made it dreaded return.
Was that really two days ago? It feels like ages ago.
Well, I suppose time does seem to drag on when you’re busy trying to off yourself.
Fluttershy shook her head to clear the thought from her head. Her eyes fell to study the floor as she searched for an excuse. “Um.. w- well I don’t... that is, um... y- you see...” A small sigh slipped out of her mouth as she hung her head in defeat. “I just can’t Twilight. It’s too painful to talk about.” Tears began to well up in her frightened eyes as memories roiled beneath the surface of her mind, but she refused to let them fall.
Really? Her mind scoffed at her. She’s practically begging to help you and you’re going to turn her away?
What if she can’t help? What if I have to relive all that for nothing? I don’t think I can handle that.
Is death truly that alluring to you?
A shudder of fear passed down Fluttershy’s spine at the thought. “Alright, I’ll try.” Taking a deep breath, she decided to be honest with Twilight. She would tell the truth, the whole truth. She looked up at her friend, forcing herself to maintain eye contact despite the tears still brimming in her own eyes. Still she refused to let a single tear fall.
“Everything started when Rainbow Dash and I arrived for our second year of Flight School after Summer Flight Camp.”
*
Cloudsdale Flight School: Fourteen years ago.
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were clustered around the bulletin board next to the school’s outdoor track with the rest of their class. Their teacher, Instructor Swift, had just posted a list ranking of all the fillies and colts in their class based on the flying abilities they had demonstrated at Summer Flight Camp three months ago. As the rest of the young ponies in the class moved away from the list, some happier than others, Fluttershy and Dash were finally able to get close enough to examine the list.
Preliminary Flight Score Rankings for Class 302, Second Year
“Last?” Fluttershy backed away from the list as though it was about to attack her. “I’m last? How is that possible? I know I’m not the best flier, but I figured I at least did better than Derpy. All she did was fly around in circles!” The cross-eyed filly in question was seated a little ways away, but looked up at the mention of her nickname. She waved at Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash before resuming to make what appeared to be muffins out of nearby clouds.
Dash hovered near the list, eyeing it curiously. “What in the hay is this ‘Flight Score’ thing anyway? Don’t get me wrong, I am the best, but I’ve never heard of it before.”
Before Fluttershy could answer, Derpy replied to Dash’s question without even looking up. “The Flight Score is a scale created fifty years ago by Dr. Rudolf Lipizzaner, a famous mathematician from Fillydelphia. It objectively judges how well pegasus ponies fly based on a multitude of factors such as age, weight, height, wing muscle strength, speed, and agility. The scale goes from zero to one hundred fifty, with seventy five indicating an average flier.” Derpy finished crafting her latest muffin from a cirrus cloud and held it up proudly. “Muffin!”
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy could only stare in awe and confusion at Derpy. Dash was the first to recover. “How does she do that?” She wondered aloud.
Fluttershy went back to stare at the list again. “That still doesn’t explain how I’m in last place. All Derpy did was fly around in circles. I know I fell down a couple times, but I should still beat circles.” She snorted angrily and lashed out with a forehoof at the bulletin board, rattling it and causing a few papers to float to the ground.
All Dash could do was shrug. “Well, she did fly the circles upside-down and backwards. I guess that counts for something.” She landed next to her fuming friend. “Hey, don’t sweat it ‘Shy. I can help ya get better at flying, all ya need is a little practice. Trust me, stick with me for training this semester, and I guarantee that you’ll be in the top five by the time we leave for Hearth’s Warming break.” She placed a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder.
Fluttershy perked up at the suggestion. “You really want me to train with you? I mean, I would love to, but I’m not exactly on your level.” She gave the list a baleful gaze, as if willing the numbers to change. After a moment, she looked over at Dash, a determined fire smoldering in her eyes. “Alright, let’s do this.”
“That’s my girl. Let’s start with some endurance training, that seems to be your biggest problem.” Dash stepped away from the resolute filly and leapt up into the air, flying in lazy circles and deep in thought. “What’s your record for doing laps on the track?” She asked.
Fluttershy blushed slightly and tried to hide behind her mane. She knew her endurance was her weak point. “Um... ten laps.” Her voice was small, most first-year fillies could do at least fifteen laps.
Rainbow Dash looked at the track, which was currently empty. She looked back at Fluttershy after making a decision. “Alright, let’s go do twelve laps. No breaks.” Fluttershy looked up at her to say something, but Dash cut across her. “No excuses. If ya wanna be better than Derpy, you’re gonna have to work hard. Don’t worry, I’ll be there to cheer you on the whole way.”
Fluttershy looked back to the track, then at Derpy, still making cloud-muffins. The determined spark in her eyes shined a little brighter as she nodded to Dash. “Let’s do it.” She leapt into the air and flew over to the track.
Two hours later, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash trudged into their shared dorm room and flopped down on their respective beds. In the end, Fluttershy had flown seventeen fulls laps of the track before almost collapsing from exhaustion. Even the athletic Dash looked a little winded as she laid down on the bed.
“Seventeen laps. I never thought you had it in ya ‘Shy.” She rolled onto her side to look at her burnt out roommate. “Keep this up and you could probably challenge Fleetfoot for number two in the class.”
Fluttershy could barely raise her head from the pillow. “Can’t talk. Everything hurts.” She grumbled. It was true, every muscle in her body ached, and her wings felt like they were on fire. Ten laps into the training, she had wanted nothing more than to fall over and rest, but Dash’s encouragement had sparked something in her. She couldn’t explain why, but Fluttershy did not want to let Rainbow down. She had pushed herself past the point of exhaustion, past the point of feeling anything beyond the pain in her wings, all to try and live up to Dash’s expectations.
Rainbow Dash laid back on the bed, a tired smile spreading across her face. “Just wait until tomorrow. We’ve got speed training. Basically it’s just flying as fast as you can, but with a parachute strapped to your back. Helps build up the old wing muscles.” Dash carefully flexed her own wings, stretching the sore muscles.
“Tomorrow? Are you serious?” Fluttershy protested, her words muffled by the pillow. “I’ll be lucky if I can walk tomorrow, much less fly.” She experimentally tried to extend her wings, only to have the pain spike at the motion.
Dash hopped off of her bed and trotted over to her training partner’s bed. She fluttered her wings and hopped up onto the mattress. “Don’t worry ‘Shy, I know just what ya need.” Rainbow leaned over, gently placing her hooves on her friend’s back.
“Dash! What are yo-ooooooh,,,,” Fluttershy began protesting, but the words melted away as Rainbow started massaging the tired muscles in her back. “Mmmm... that feels good.”
Dash chuckled to herself, she knew better than most the aches and pains that came from hours of intense training. She moved her hooves out to the side to massage the muscles that pull the wings down, but the new sensation caused Fluttershy to jump.
“Ah! Careful, that tickles!” Fluttershy warned.
“Oh really?” Dash arched an eyebrow, a mischievous grin playing across her face.
Fluttershy looked over her shoulder and caught a devious glint in her trainer’s eye. “Oh no. Don’t you dare Rainbow!” Dash started massaging Fluttershy’s sides again, causing the exhausted filly to break out in uncontrollable laughter. “No! Dash! Laughing hurts!” In desperation, Fluttershy grabbed the pillow off the bed and threw it back at Dash, hitting her in the face. The cyan filly pulled the pillow away, her smile growing even wider.
“Oh, it’s on now.”
*
Three months later
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash fell into a rigorous training routine that left them with little free time. The weeks blurred by, and before either of them knew it, the Hearth’s Warming holiday break was only two days away. They both knew that it was worth it though, Fluttershy had made incredible progress in the previous months and found herself actually looking forward to the upcoming Flight Score evaluations. Instructor Swift was very pleased with her dramatic improvement, but the other fillies and colts in the class usually gave her evil looks each time she surpassed another of her classmates in flying prowess.
“Alright everypony, here’s the latest evaluations.” Instructor Swift explained with a lilting Las Pegasus accent. He tacked the list onto the bulletin board and quickly moved away before the class mobbed the board. “Have a nice Hearth’s Warming break.” He turned to head back to his office.
Hearth’s Warming Break Flight Score Rankings for Class 302, Second Year
Fluttershy stared at the list, her mouth hanging open. “Second.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I... I’m second.” She broke out in a huge grin and leaped into the air with an inarticulate cry of joy. Upon landing, she ecstatically looked over to Dash, her personal trainer for the last three months. Rainbow had an equally large grin on her face.
“Second place, ‘Shy! That’s amazing!” Dash reached over and pulled Fluttershy into a bone-crushing hug, which she returned happily. “I bet all those extra training sessions feel worth it now.”
Fluttershy pulled away to look at Dash, oblivious to the fact that several of their classmates were glaring daggers a the two fillies and muttering under their breaths. “Thank you so much Rainbow, I couldn’t have done it without you. Come on, let’s go get our stuff and head back to the dorm.” The two friends took off and flew into the locker room that their class stored their belongings in during flying practice. As they landed in the locker room, they noticed that the rest of the class was gathered in the corner, looking and whispering about something near Fluttershy’s locker.
Fluttershy slowly edged her way through the gathering, trying to get a good view of what everypony was looking at. With a start, she realized they were staring at her locker. Somepony had spray-painted “FILLYFOOLER” across her locker in bright orange paint. Fluttershy galloped to the front of the group and whipped around to face them, a red-hot anger building in her chest. “Alright, who the buck did this?” She bellowed. She fixed each filly and colt with a malevolent glare, daring them to say one more word. A deathly silence fell over the assembled students, none of them daring to speak or meet her furious gaze.
Eventually, one colt stepped forward. He was tall and thickly built, his impressive muscles making him seem several years older than he was. His hair was a short shock of light blue and silver which stood in stark contrast to his dark grey coat. The daring colt’s cutie mark depicted a thundercloud with a single lightning bolt. His name: Thunderlane. “Why should we be afraid of some little fillyfooler like you? What are you gonna do? You and your marefriend Rainbow Crash gonna fight us?” Thunderlane flared his wings and stood towering over Fluttershy, challenging her to respond.
The anger drained from Fluttershy's chest. She had no idea how to respond to the vehemence in Thunderlane’s voice. Tears welled up in her eyes, unbidden, and she quickly dabbed them away. Rainbow Dash had been watching the exchange in stunned silence, but finally regained her composure enough to speak.
“You leave her alone, you coltcuddler!” Dash stepped in front of Fluttershy, standing between her and Thunderlane.
Without warning, the rest of the class followed Thunderlane's lead, calling out taunts of “fillyfoolers” and “marefriends” at the two pegasi. Anger flashed in Dash’s eyes, and she seemed ready to fight every filly and colt in the room. She leapt at Thunderlane, but Fluttershy grabbed her back hooves, stopping her in mid-air.
“Don’t Rainbow, he’s not worth it.” She pulled Dash back down to the ground. “Let’s get out of here.” The two friends shouldered their way through the crowd of colts and fillies to reach the exit. As they reached the door, a single wolf-whistle sounded from the assembled class. Dash shot a withering stare over her shoulder, but could not find the culprit. As the two fillies emerged from the building, Rainbow’s temper finally got the better of her.
“Just who the hay do they think they are, saying those kind of things about you?” She let out an angry snort.
Fluttershy raised an eyebrow, shooting a sidelong glance at Dash. “You mean us?”
Dash gave a slight jump. “Oh yea... us.” A slight blush crept into her cheeks, thankfully hidden by her coat. “It’s just that everypony was focusing on you because it was your locker. I guess I didn’t realize they were also makin’ fun of me.” She gave another snort. “If I see Thunderlane again, I’m gonna buck him square in his stupid face.”
Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “Let it go Dash, everypony will have their fun with it for a couple days, but once they see we don’t care it’ll die down.” She put a hoof around her disgruntled friend’s shoulder. “Come on, we’re still number one and two in the class, I say that calls for a celebration.”
The next few days passed without much incident. The fillies and colts of their class kept calling Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash “fillyfoolers,” but they refused to respond. Then the days turned into weeks, and the weeks dragged on into months. Still, the insults came whenever the two pegasi had their backs turned. Fluttershy did her best to ignore the taunts and jeers of her classmates, but Dash was not so stoic. Rainbow's temper grew shorter and shorter as the months wore on, causing her to get into fights with her classmates who were particularly abusive towards Fluttershy and herself.
Once a week, Dash would come back to the dorm room covered with fresh cuts and bruises, and Fluttershy would do her best to patch up her hotheaded roommate. Over time, she learned the best ways to treat various forms of injuries using common household items. However, she always felt that it was her fault that Dash was constantly getting into fights. Fluttershy could not help but feel that every cut, scrape and bruise her friend suffered was because of her.
The usually outgoing Fluttershy began spending more and more time secluded in her room, away from the mocking of her classmates. She began making excuses to skip training sessions with Dash, hoping that it would stop the ridicule if they were not seen together as often. It did not work. The verbal abuse continued, made worse by Fluttershy’s slowly regressing flying abilities now that she was not training with Rainbow as much. The sustained jeering of her classmates took a toll on her psychologically, a toll that she refused to let even Rainbow Dash see as she silently cried herself to sleep night after night.
*
Tears ran freely down Fluttershy’s face now, leaving dark trails along her cheeks. Nevertheless, throughout the tale her voice never once broke or wavered. She had been unable to meet Twilight’s gaze while recounting her story, but now she looked up to her friend. Fluttershy’s normally peaceful eyes held nothing but pain, haunting memories beyond even what she had just shared. She gave a weak smile. “That’s pretty much the end of the story.”
Liar. The voice in her head spat.
For once, words failed the normally eloquent Twilight. Her mind was unable to form a coherent thought, while half a dozen emotions fought for her attention. Anger, for the fillies and colts who had made life so difficult for such a kind and loving pony, all out of jealousy. Sorrow, for knowing that Fluttershy had been suffering through this torment all alone, day after day for years. Pride in her reserved friend, knowing how tortuously difficult it must have been to divulge such painful and personal memories. Several other darker emotions swam through her mind, but she did not trust herself to acknowledge them. All Twilight could think to do was reach out and hug Fluttershy tightly.
“I’m so sorry, Fluttershy.” The words seemed woefully inadequate, but they were all that she could bear to say. Fluttershy returned the hug, shaking slightly as she sobbed into Twilight’s mane. For several minutes, they simply sat together while Fluttershy slowly regained her composure.
Eventually, she gave a deep sigh and pulled away from Twilight. She dabbed her eyes roughly, wiping away the remaining tears. “Thanks Twilight.” Her voice cracked slightly. “I actually feel a lot better now. It’s funny, I must have told that exact same story to half a dozen psychiatrists, but every time it just made me feel worse about it. Telling you just now was strangely... cathartic. This has been eating away at me from the inside for years, but I feel like now that somepony else knows about it, it’s a little easier to bear.”
Imagine how much easier it would be to bear if Dash knew about how you blamed yourself for everything.
No, I can’t tell Dash. Not yet. Fluttershy stood up to distract herself from the thought. She flared her wings, stretching out the stiff muscles. “Do you want a cup of tea? I think that sounds nice right now.” She asked, helping Twilight to her feet.
“Sure, that does sound good.” Twilight confirmed. Then she remembered the original purpose of her visit to Fluttershy’s cottage. “Hey, you said something earlier about my theory from the library. I was coming by your house to see if you had figured anything out about that.”
Fluttershy blushed slightly. “Oh... yes actually.” Her face flushed deeper and a giddy smile spread across her face. “I thought about it and I... I’m in love with Rainbow Dash.”
Clack. A sharp sound near the door caused both ponies to whip around.
There in the doorway, her weather goggles lying forgotten on the floor, stood Rainbow Dash.
“R- Rainbow! I- I can explain!” Fluttershy stammered.
Explain what? That you’ve never meant anything more in your life?
No... no no no no. This can’t be happening. Fluttershy’s mind had gone completely blank, she had no idea what to say. How long has Dash been standing there? Time stood still, each second seemed to drag on for eternity. Eventually she ventured to break the deafening silence.
“Dash?” Fluttershy took a tentative step towards the doorway. Rainbow mirrored her, taking one step backwards. “Dash, please. Let... let me explain.” She took another small step towards the door. Without warning, Rainbow turned and leapt into the air, beating her wings and rapidly fading into the distance.
“No! Wait!” Fluttershy ran after her prismatic friend. She jumped into the air, flapping her wings furiously trying to shorten the gap between them. This can’t be happening. She thought to herself. No... no... please don’t let it end like this. Dash continued to pull away, a familiar white corona forming around her. Fluttershy beat her wings harder, straining every muscle trying to catch up.
A blinding flash lit the sky, leaving a halo of rainbow colors spreading from the point where the sound barrier was broken. Dash continued to streak away, leaving a rainbow trail behind her. Fluttershy stopped flapping her wings, slowly gliding to the ground. She knew it was hopeless. Once Rainbow took to the air, nopony could catch her. She landed roughly in the grass near the Everfree Forest, watching the chromatic streak of light fade into the distance. As the trail of prismatic light passed over the horizon, Fluttershy hung her head and let her tears soak the grass.
*
Where am I even going? The ground was a blur below Rainbow Dash. She had no idea where she was going, she was just trying to put as much distance between Fluttershy’s cottage and herself as possible. She had come by the cottage to try and talk to her fillyhood friend again, but she had thought something was wrong when she saw the broken remnants of the door lying on the ground. Dash snuck up to the door, expecting Fluttershy to be in trouble.
What she found was Fluttershy tearfully recounting their time at Flight School to Twilight. Dash decided not to interrupt, knowing that if she did Fluttershy might not be able to start the story again. She simply stood just outside the doorway, peaking around the corner. Something was different about the room, but she could not put her hoof on it. Her eyes drifted around, and she noticed a length of rope attached to a beam on the roof. Looking down, Rainbow saw a second piece of rope on the floor, a noose.
The pieces clicked in place for Rainbow as Twilight and Fluttershy stood up, the latter’s story complete. Dash stepped into the doorway, ready to confront Fluttershy about the meaning of the noose on the floor. She was about to announce her presence when Fluttershy uttered the words that forced her to run.
“I... I’m in love with Rainbow Dash.”
The scene replayed itself in Dash’s head, causing her heart rate to spike above its already hammering pace. Tears were whipped away from her eyes due to the winds created by traveling at supersonic speeds. They’re just from the wind... I’m not crying. She thought to herself. I’m Rainbow Dash. I don’t cry.
A sudden rumble of thunder pulled Dash out of her thoughts. She slowly reduced her speed and eventually came to a halt, hovering in the air. “Where am I?” She wondered aloud. The landscape surrounding her was unfamiliar to her. A thick, black cloud cover blocked the sun, threatening a severe storm and preventing the pegasus from using the sun to figure out which way she had flown from Fluttershy’s cottage.
Dash began flying lazy circles, slowly gliding towards the ground and looking for a place to get out of coming storm. She saw the opening to a small cave below her and quickly angled towards it as the first drops of rain splattered her wings. She alighted on the ground just inside the mouth of the cave as the rain started to fall in earnest.
“Seriously, where am I?” Dash speculated. “A storm this bad couldn’t pop up without us knowing. Think... think...” She tried to picture the most recent map from the weather team’s headquarters. There was only one storm system on the map that could get as bad as the conditions outside the cave were.
“No way... that would mean I’m halfway to Baltimare.” A crash of thunder made Dash jump. “Well, it looks like I’m gonna be here for a while. Too rough to fly out there.” Rainbow slowly settled down to wait out the storm, left with only her thoughts for company. Her mind drifted back to the scene at the cottage. The noose lying on the floor, Fluttershy crying. A sudden pain stabbed through Rainbow’s chest as tears welled in her eyes.
“No. She wouldn’t do that, not ‘Shy.” Dash dabbed at her eyes roughly, wiping away the moisture. “I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding.” She explained to the barren cave.
A misunderstanding, sure. Nooses have so many uses after all. The rational portion of the pegasus’ mind responded. What about the confession of love? Was that a misunderstanding as well?
Rainbow’s heart rate picked up and a deep blush crept into her cheeks. “Oh yea... that. I... I wasn’t prepared for that.” In truth, she had been aching to hear Fluttershy say those exact words for years. Dash could not remember exactly when she had fallen for Fluttershy, just that it was sometime shortly after they left the Flight School. Even while they were in school, she still felt an instinctual, almost primal, need to protect Fluttershy.
“Yea, protect her. That worked out so well.” Rainbow’s head fell to rest on her forehooves. “I’m sure all of those fights I got into with Thunderlane and his buddies that ‘Shy had to patch me up after did wonders for her self-confidence.” She let out an annoyed snort.
To be fair, all the fights were over everypony mocking Fluttershy, not you. Her mind pointed out.
“I know... it just wasn’t fair.” She protested to the empty air. “She worked so hard for so long. She made amazing progress. Heck, she was ranked higher than Fleetfoot at one point, and Fleet’s a bucking Wonderbolt now!” By now Dash was yelling at the wall of the cave, her echo the only response. Suddenly she could not sit still anymore. She got up and paced back and forth, trying to bleed off her anger.
She had seen the signs. Dash was not as self-obsessed as everypony made her out to be. She knew that Fluttershy was being hurt emotionally by all the jeers and taunts of their classmates, but Dash was no good at all that touchy-feely stuff. She was a pony of action, so she did what she knew best. She boasted. She bragged. She provoked anypony who tried to make fun of Fluttershy, trying to make herself a more enticing target. If none of that worked, she was not afraid to get a little physical.
If only a certain somepony had never fueled the rumors to begin with.
“I... I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rainbow muttered, a long-forgotten pain rising to the surface.
Of course, Dash had never known how much her own actions had affected her friend. Not until today. Listening to Fluttershy tell Twilight how she blamed herself for everything, Rainbow had wanted nothing more than to run into the cottage and confess everything. She needed to throw herself at Fluttershy’s mercy and beg for forgiveness. Dash ached to tell Fluttershy that she had heard her friend crying herself to sleep, that she wanted so badly to comfort her, but she was afraid.
Dash was afraid of the feelings she was developing for Fluttershy, especially after seeing how her roommate had responded to accusations that the two of them were... romantically involved. She did not feel like she could comfort her hurt friend without the risk of doing something that Fluttershy might object to, so she resorted to more indirect methods of relieving the pain. She tried to use force to silence their detractors, but that had only made the problem worse.
If you have these feelings for Fluttershy, why did you run away when she finally returned them? The question forced its way into her mind.
“I... I was scared.” Dash muttered. “I made peace with the fact that Fluttershy didn’t like me in... that way a long time ago. Hearing her say it was exhilarating, but terrifying too.” She kicked a rock on the floor of the cave, sending it clattering down the tunnel. “Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome, but I... panicked. I was worried that maybe after all these years of holding back and repressing everything, maybe I don’t feel that way about her anymore.”
Well? Do you?
Rainbow closed her eyes, picturing Fluttershy and herself together, just wandering down a street in Ponyville and enjoying each others company. Her heart sank as she realized she did not feel anything special, nothing beyond platonic friendship. She was about to dismiss the fantasy when Fluttershy turned toward her, leaned in, and whispered in her ear.
“I love you, Rainbow Dash.”
There it was. Dash felt a lump rise in her throat and tears welled in her eyes. She longed to simply reach out, grab Fluttershy, and never let her go. Dash knew she would do anything in her power to make the mare she loved happy. She opened her eyes and looked out of the cave. The rain was still beating down in sheets, but she was prepared to brave the storm if it meant she could reach Fluttershy and tell her how she felt. Rainbow was prepared to brave the wrath of Celestia herself if it meant she could be with Fluttershy. A single jagged bolt of lightning split the sky, lighting up the darkened afternoon like Celestia’s sun. Immediately, a catastrophic peal of thunder sounded, causing Dash to involuntarily take a step back from the mouth of the cave.
“On second thought... maybe I’ll wait out the storm in here.” Dash laid down and curled her tail around herself protectively. She settled her head down and tried to get some sleep.
*
The sun rose the next morning, creeping over the mountains to the east and basking the area around Ponyville in gentle sunlight. The fields around the Everfree Forest glittered with dew in the dawn light, shining like diamonds outside of the lone cottage built near the forest. Inside the small home, the early light was muted by sheets of newspaper still on the windows from the previous day. The shattered door stood magically repaired in the entryway, locked against unwanted visitors.
Silence permeated the house, broken only by the occasional sob coming from the bedroom. Fluttershy lay curled up on her bed, the pillow stained with tears. After she had returned from chasing Rainbow Dash, she had collapsed onto her bed and refused to move. Twilight tried to encourage her, but Fluttershy had snapped at the purple unicorn, saying she needed to be alone.
The others had come by after Twilight left, she had undoubtedly told them about Fluttershy’s suicide attempt, if not about Dash overhearing her confession of love. Fluttershy knew she could not handle facing her friends right now, not so soon after Rainbow had run away from her. Applejack had been the most adamant about seeing Fluttershy, threatening to kick down the recently repaired door before Twilight convinced her to leave in peace. However, the stream of curses flowing from Applejack's mouth as her voice faded suggested that her departure may not have been entirely voluntary.
A knock sounded at the door. “I said go away! I don’t want to see anypony right now.” Fluttershy screamed, as a fresh round of tears formed in her eyes. She reached over to her nightstand and grabbed another tissue from the box.
“Hey, ‘Shy. It’s me.” Rainbow’s voice floated up from the living room, muffled by the closed door. “Can you come down here? I think we need to talk.”
Fluttershy bolted upright. “Dashie?” Her voice cracked as she said the name. She scrambled out of bed and ran from the room. She sprinted down the hallway to the living room, slamming into the wall as she tried to turn the corner too quickly. She nervously skidded to a stop in the entryway, pausing to take a deep breath before unlocking the door.
Fluttershy opened the door and immediately launched into an apology. “Rainbow, I’m so sorry about what happened yesterday. I- I wanted to tell you, just not like-”
Her words were cut off as Dash leaned forward and kissed her. Time lost all meaning. The cottage melted away around her. All that mattered to Fluttershy was the feeling of Dash’s lips pressed against her own. All of her nerves and her fears vanished in that moment of pure bliss. Slowly, Dash pulled back, and Fluttershy unconsciously leaned forward, desperate to prolong the contact. She felt Rainbow smile through the kiss before their lips finally parted.
“Hey.” Dash leaned back, an amused smirk on her face.
“H- Hi.” Fluttershy said breathlessly, she did not realize she had been holding her breath. Heat flooded her face, bringing a slight blush to her cheeks. She stepped aside, motioning for Dash to enter the cottage. “P- Please come in.”
Dash trotted past the stunned Fluttershy, leaning over to give her a quick nuzzle as she passed. She chuckled as a shiver passed through her friend at the contact. Rainbow looked around, the room was exactly as it had been yesterday, complete with the discarded noose on the floor. An icy spike of fear struck her heart when she looked at the noose, but she pushed it down. One thing at a time. She thought to herself.
Fluttershy noticed the rope on the floor as well and tried to discreetly pick it up, storing it under her wing. “So... Twilight was over yesterday. We had a... nice chat.” She did her best to sound nonchalant.
Dash held up a hoof to quiet Fluttershy's nervous chatter. “First things first, ‘Shy. I gotta ask ya, did you mean it?”
“M- Mean it?” Fluttershy’s cheeks flushed crimson as she hid behind her mane. Her heart thundered in her chest. She had admitted to herself that she was in love with Rainbow, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to admit it to Dash herself.
It’s not like she doesn’t already know. Her mind chimed in. Besides, did you already forget that she kissed you not even thirty seconds ago?
Oh... yea. Fluttershy’s blush grew even deeper as memories of the unexpected kiss flooded through her mind.
Dash raised a quizzical eyebrow at her friend’s sudden silence. “Well? Did you mean it when you said...” She swallowed and took a deep breath. “When you said that you... loved me?” Her voice wavered at the end of the question. Fluttershy looked into Rainbow’s eyes, there was something unusual in them. Behind Dash’s typical bravado, there was a hint of fear.
She’s... scared? Fluttershy thought to herself. I’ve never seen Dash scared of anything. Fluttershy took a calming breath, willing her heart rate to slow to normal. She shook her head once, throwing her mane behind her ears so she could see Rainbow with both eyes. She took one step towards Dash, who involuntarily tensed up.
“I’ve never meant anything more in my life, Rainbow. I love you.”
Dash let out a relieved sigh, her whole body relaxing. The fear in her eyes was replaced with a small spark of hope. “Fluttershy, you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that.”
It was Fluttershy’s turn to be scared. “R- Really? You’re not freaked out or anything?” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “When you were here yesterday you... you ran away when you heard me say it.” Tears welled up in her eyes, but she rubbed them away with a hoof.
“Yea... Sorry ‘bout that.” Dash gave her frightened friend a forced grin. “It’s just that... I’ve liked ya for a long time ‘Shy, but I figured you would never go for me after everything that happened at school. When I heard ya say it, I panicked. It had been so long since I gave up on being with you, I wasn’t sure I still felt the same way.”
Fluttershy recoiled at the words as though Dash had physically struck her. “You... you aren’t sure?” She gave a small sob as a single tear streaked down her cheek.
“No. I wasn’t sure.” Rainbow stepped over to Fluttershy and wiped away the tear from her face. “I spent last night in a cave halfway to Baltimare... Long story.” She added as Fluttershy arched an eyebrow quizzically. “In that cave, I had a lot of time to think. Not something I normally do.” She smiled as Fluttershy chuckled at her joke. “I realized something in that cave, ‘Shy.” Dash reached down and lifted Fluttershy’s chin to look into her turquoise eyes.
“I love you, Fluttershy.”
Before she could respond, Dash leaned in and kissed her. Fluttershy felt tears stream freely down her face, but for once they were tears of joy rather than fear or embarrassment. After Dash’s admission that she reciprocated her feelings, Fluttershy felt something stir deep inside her. It was a hunger, a deep and primal one. She was hungry for Rainbow Dash. The feeling was unlike anything she had felt before, and it excited her.
Fluttershy reached up and placed a hoof around Dash’s neck, pulling her deeper into the kiss and earning a small moan from the blue pegasus. As their lips continued to move together, Rainbow brought her own hoof up and ran it through Fluttershy’s mane. The feeling sent shivers down the normally reserved pony’s spine, causing her to emit her own moan of pleasure.
At that moment a sharp knock at the door jolted both mares out of their reverie. “Fluttershy, you in there?” A familiar draconic voice asked.
“She’s busy, Spike.” Rainbow volunteered, her hoof still entwined in Fluttershy’s mane. Dash went to pull her into another kiss, but the baby dragon persisted.
“It’s kind of important Rainbow Dash... you should probably come too.” A note of concern filled Spike’s usually untroubled voice.
Fluttershy disentangled herself from Dash, and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before trotting over to the door and opening it. “Where is it we need to go, Spike? Is... is something wrong?” Dozens of possible scenarios involving manticores, cockatrices and dragons played through her mind.
“Kind of...” Spike shuffled his feet in the dirt, unable to meet Fluttershy’s gaze. “Rarity came by the library and Twilight kind of told her about what you two talked about yesterday. Rarity got really angry when she heard about your talk with Applejack, and she went over to Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Wait... what talk with Applejack?” Dash interrupted.
“Um... I’ll tell you later, okay?” Fluttershy hid behind her mane, avoiding Rainbow’s eyes. “So what’s wrong Spike? Is it something with Rarity?”
“Honestly, it would just be easier if you came with me to Sweet Apple Acres. Rarity kind of... lost her temper when she tried to talk to Applejack.” Spike looked off in the direction of the Apple family farm. “We should really hurry.”
Both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. Dash shrugged. “Alright, hop on Spike. It’ll be faster to fly than walk.” She flared her wings and crouched down so Spike could climb on. Once he was aboard, the two pegasi trotted outside and leapt into the air, flapping their wings to gain height and angling for Sweet Apple Acres.
*
“What in Equestria were you thinking Applejack?” Rarity’s shout echoed among the trees of the orchard. “Do you have one shred of common sense under that stupid hat of yours?”
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash landed a distance away from the other three ponies present. Twilight and Applejack stood on one side, with Rarity facing them a short way away. However, Rarity was far from her usual composed self. She was enveloped in an aura of magic. Not simply her horn, but her entire body. The air surrounding her shimmered with magical power, and the glare she was giving Applejack would have put Fluttershy’s famous Stare to shame.
“Ah already told ya, Rarity. She asked me a question and Ah answered it. Simple as that.” Applejack tried to meet Rarity’s gaze, but frequently found herself staring at the ground. The farm-pony was positioned slightly behind Twilight, as though scared Rarity would attack her at any moment.
“Oh yes, and we saw just how well that worked out!” Rarity grabbed a rock with her magic and flung it towards Applejack, who cowered slightly. As the rock approached her, a force field flared to life, deflecting it harmlessly to the side.
“That’s enough Rarity!” Twilight’s horn glowed as she held the force field in place. “It was an accident. Applejack didn’t know what would happen.” Her horn flared brighter as she concentrated. The air around Rarity calmed slightly and the aura of magic enveloping her dimmed.
“Don’t you dare, Twilight!” Rairty furiously reared up and stomped her hooves. The aura of magic around her flared brighter. “I’m not done with her yet.” A cold venom dripped from Rarity’s words.
“Rarity! Stop this right now!” Fluttershy yelled. Rarity startled, losing her hold on her magic. She looked over to the two pegasi, only now noticing their presence. She ran over and threw her forehooves around Fluttershy's neck.
“Oh Fluttershy, dear. I was so worried about you. Thank the goddesses you’re alright.” Rarity hugged Fluttershy and began crying, any attempt at regaining her normal serenity forgotten. Twilight and Applejack finally recovered from Rarity’s sudden shift in attention and noticed the arrival of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.
“Shh... it’s okay Rarity...” Fluttershy cooed. “It’s OK.” She stroked the fashionista’s mane as the latter regained her composure. “Now... what is this all about?”
“Well, I heard about what Applejack said to you from Twilight.” Rarity pulled away from Fluttershy, wiping a hoof across her nose. “I’m sorry to say that I... lost my temper. I was just so... so... angry that she would say something like that to you and make you...” She could not finish the sentence, and tears welled up in her eyes again.
“Now you listen to me, Rarity.” Fluttershy’s voice was calm, but carried uncharacteristic weight. “What Applejack said hurt,” The farm pony in question cringed. “But it did not in any way make me... do what I did.”
Applejack took a tentative step forward, her hat clutched to her chest. “Really? No offense intended ‘Shy, but it seems a might suspicious that yesterday mornin’ Ah gave ya...” She dropped her gaze to the ground. “Well, Ah said a heap ‘o mean things ‘bout fillyf-” Applejack stopped herself from finishing the slur, but not before earning a glare from Rainbow Dash. “... about two mares bein’ together. Then later that afternoon, Twilight here finds ya...” She trailed off into silence.
Fluttershy pulled away from Rarity, who had finally regained some of her typical demeanor. “I know how it looks everypony, but what Applejack said to me is not the reason for what happened.” She glanced over her shoulder to Dash, who was still staring down the orange earth pony. She turned back to address Rarity and Applejack. “I promise that I’ll explain everything to both of you, but first I think I owe somepony else a private explanation.”
“Huh?” Dash finally snapped out of her glare.
“Come on Rainbow, let’s go back to my house.” Fluttershy walked over to Dash. “I think that it would be best for us to talk about this alone.” She flared her wings to take flight, lightly brushing the tip of one wing across Dash’s muzzle. The prismatic-maned pony shivered at the contact and gave Fluttershy a smirk, flaring her own wings as well. The two pegasi took to the air, angling back towards the reserved mare’s cottage. As they passed beyond the tree tops and out of sight, a new disturbance down the road to Ponyville grabbed the attention of the remaining ponies and Spike.
“Hi-i-i E-e-very-y-y-po-o-ony-y-y!” Pinkie Pie was walking, or rather vibrating, down the road towards the assembled friends. As she reached the group, the vibrations mysteriously stopped.
“Ya doin’ alright there, Pinkie?” Applejack was the first to recover from Pinkie’s sudden and unorthodox arrival. The others simply shook their heads, accepting such an entrance as the chaotic party pony being herself.
“Oh, I’m fine. I was just coming out here to Sweet Apple Acres because my Pinkie Sense was telling me there was a doozie out here.” Pinkie looked around at the assembled group. “Hey, where are Dashie and Flutters?”
“They just left.” Twilight offered. “They went back to Fluttershy’s cottage to talk about... something.” So far, Pinkie was the only one in the group who did not know about Fluttershy’s attempted suicide, mainly because her answer to the situation would have been to throw a party. Twilight attempted to change the subject. “Anyway Pinkie, you just missed a doozie of a fight between Rarity and Applejack.”
“Hmm...” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin in thought while the two ponies in question stared at the ground. “Nah, I don’t think that was it. On my way over here, my front left hoof was itchy for twelve seconds. That means whatever the doozie was had to do with a pegasus.”
Uh oh. Twilight worried to herself. It looks like we’ll have to tell Pinkie now. Wait... Her mind flashed back to just before the two pegasi left, to Fluttershy brushing her wing on Dash and the latter’s reaction. A doozie involving a pegasus...
A revelation struck Twilight. Fluttershy and Dash came here together. After what happened yesterday that can only mean... Twilight had to fight to keep a huge grin from spreading across her face.
Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie startled. “Uh oh... itchy hoof... floppy ears... twitchy tail...” Her expression immediately brightened. “Somepony just had an astonishing epiphany!” The assembled friends all stared at her in abject confusion.
“Well, Ah didn’t have one.” Applejack shrugged.
“Nor did I.” Rarity confirmed.
“How in Equestria do you do that?” All eyes turned to Twilight, who was now glaring at Pinkie Pie. The pink mare simply shrugged.
“Well don’t keep us in the dark, sugarcube.” Applejack pressed. “What’s so astonishin’?”
“Um...” Twilight rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. “I’m not sure, but think about it. Given what happened yesterday between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, don’t you think it’s a little odd that they showed up here together?” Applejack and Rarity both looked deep in thought, while Pinkie was still blissfully ignorant of the previous day’s events.
Suddenly, the Applejack’s eyes shot open and she turned to Twilight. “Ya don’t mean that those two...?” Twilight nodded, failing to keep a smile from her face. Applejack pulled her hat down over her eyes as her cheeks flushed as red as her cutie mark.
By the time Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash reached the former’s home, Celestia’s sun was approaching its peak in the sky. The flight back from Sweet Apple Acres had taken longer than the trip there, primarily due to the lack of urgency in reaching their destination. As the pair alighted in front of the cottage, they were greeted by a displeased Angel Bunny furiously tapping his foot.
“Sorry, Angel.” Fluttershy apologized. “I know I forgot to set out your food before I left. It’s been... an eventful morning.” She cast a glance over her shoulder at Dash, who promptly blushed and looked away. The pink-maned mare giggled to herself. She’s cute when she’s flustered.
You do realize you can’t put off talking about yesterday forever, right? The treacherous voice rose in her head.
Can’t I just be happy for five minutes without you coming in the spoil it? Is that really too much to ask? Fluttershy let out an inaudible sigh and opened the door to the cottage. She trotted inside and headed for the kitchen to prepare Angel’s breakfast. Halfway across the living room, she noticed that Dash was still standing outside.
“Are you coming in Dash?” Fluttershy turned and cocked an eyebrow.
“Uh, yea. Sorry, it’s just that...” Dash shuffled her hooves across the threshold, trailing off into silence. Her eyes rose and fixed on the sheared rope still hanging from the ceiling, then determinedly fell back to the floor.
See?
Be quiet. Fluttershy scolded herself. “Let me get Angel’s breakfast ready and then we can talk, okay?” She turned to head back to the kitchen. She was preparing a carrot salad for Angel when a question floated in from the living room.
“Hey ‘Shy, what are these letters out here? This one’s addressed to me and the other...” A slight rustle of parchment sounded as Dash picked up the suicide notes from the table. Fluttershy’s eyes shot open as she realized what was going on. She sprinted back into the living room, swiping the letters out of Dash’s hooves.
“Ha ha ha... those are... nothing. Nothing at all.” The canary pegasus promptly sat on the letters, preventing any further attempts to read the contents. Angel Bunny reappeared in the doorway to the kitchen, a scowl on his face.
“Fix your own bucking breakfast Angel, momma’s busy.” Fluttershy hissed. The rabbit threw his paws up in frustration and hopped into the kitchen. Dash watched the exchange with a bemused smirk.
“Oh... those are...” Rainbow’s smirk faded as she realized what the notes were. Her whole body slumped as she remembered the purpose of coming back to the cottage. The prismatic mare slowly walked over to the couch and laid down. She sighed. “Well... no sense putting it off. Let’s talk, ‘Shy.” Dash patted the couch next to her.
Oh, I’m sure this will go over well.
Shut up shut up shut up! Fluttershy shook her head to clear it as she walked over to the couch, leaving the notes crumpled on the floor. She climbed onto the couch next to Dash, but both looked off to the side, unable to meet the other’s gaze. The silence stretched on uncomfortably, only to be broken when Dash muttered something inaudible.
“What was that? I... I couldn’t hear you.” Fluttershy placed a hoof on the brash pony’s shoulder, surprised to feel her shaking slightly.
“How could you?” Dash turned to face Fluttershy, tears running down her cheeks. Her face was a mask of unfiltered pain and anguish. “How could you do something like that to us? To your friends? To me?” Rainbow’s voice was barely a whisper by the end.
“Dash...” Fluttershy pleaded. “I’m so sorry, I never wanted to hurt any of you. It’s just...” The nervous yellow mare’s ears flattened back. She took a deep breath, gathering her determination. “Look Dash, I know we agreed not to talk about Flight School after... what happened, but I think we need to.”
“What for?” A shudder passed through Rainbow's body at the mention of Flight School. “We were both there, ‘Shy. What is there to talk about? It was horrible, we stuck it out as long as we could... and we left. End of story.” Dash’s tone quickly became cold and angry, a jarring shift from the hurt in her voice moments ago.
Fluttershy placed a hoof on Rainbow’s foreleg. “It’s not the end of the story, Dash. At least, not for me. Everything that happened back then, it’s never really left me.” She paused, getting ready to pour out her heart to Dash. Fluttershy was prepared to tell her everything, but her prismatic-maned friend interrupted her.
“And you think it ever left me?” A hint of malice crept into Dash’s voice. “Ya think I don’t remember everything that happened back then?”
“No! I didn’t mean...” Fluttershy recoiled from Rainbow, who kept going.
“Ya think I don’t wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat? Ya think I don’t have nightmares about it?” Dash’s voice grew louder and angrier.
“Rainbow... I...” Fluttershy felt a dreadfully familiar tightness beginning in her chest. Her breathing became rapid and shallow as the edges of her vision tinged with darkness.
“Ya think I don’t remember what Thunderlane said?” Dash was shouting now, pointedly not looking at the mare beside her. “Ya think I don’t remember what he almost did?” Fresh tears traced damp trails down her cheeks.
“Dash... please...” Fluttershy begged. She could feel the walls pressing in on her. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears. She screwed her eyes shut in a fit of terror, trying to fight off the impending darkness.
A single sound forced its way through the darkness, a choked sob.
Suddenly everything was back to normal. The walls were in their proper places, and Fluttershy could breath normally. A second sob broke the overwhelming silence. The nurturing mare cracked one eye open, then the other. She was shocked by the sight in front of her. Rainbow Dash, who had been so furious and bitter moments ago, had her face buried in her hooves, openly weeping.
Talk about mood swings... The sly voice jeered.
Now is really not the time. Fluttershy placed a hoof on Dash’s shoulder, trying to comfort her. “It’s alright Dash, just let it out.” She began stroking the crying pony’s rainbow mane.
“I... I’m so sorry.” Dash choked out, the words slightly muffled. “It’s my fault... all of it.”
“It’s not your fault, Rainbow. None of it is.” Fluttershy kept stroking her friend’s mane, keeping her voice as level and soothing as possible.
“No... it is my fault ‘Shy.” Dash picked her head up from the couch. She looked straight into Fluttershy’s eyes. The glint of fear that was present before the timid mare’s confession of love had returned, more pronounced than last time. “There’s something I need to tell you ‘Shy. Something I should have told ya a long time ago.”
“What is it, Dash?” Fluttershy let her hoof fall to the couch, a mixture of terror and worry rising in her chest. Every thought in her mind screamed at her to break eye contact, to hide behind her mane, but she held her gaze steady.
“All the taunts... all the rumors at school...” Dash began, her voice shaking. “They... they were my fault.” Her resolve finally crumbled and she dropped her eyes to stare at her hooves.
“What?” Fluttershy’s mind ground to halt, unable to process what she had just heard. “No, it was all the other fillies and colts in class. They were the ones that made fun of us. It was Thunderlane behind it all.” She tried to rationalize it, but a nagging part of her mind questioned the truth of her words.
“Heh. Thunderlane.” Rainbow spat the name. “He couldn’t taunt his way out of a paper bag without help. No... it was me. I... I’m the one who started the rumors about us.” Dash slumped into the couch, utterly defeated.
Fluttershy, got up and hopped to the floor. “Rainbow?” She asked, her voice wavering. “What do you mean it was you?”
Isn’t it obvious? Her mind quipped. Or does she have to spell it out for you?
No... Dash... Dashie would never do something like that.
“I don’t know how else ya want me to say it...” Rainbow’s voice was barely above a whisper. “It was me. I’m the one who started spreading the rumors about us being... fillyfoolers.” A fresh stream of tears fell down her cheeks at the admission.
“No...” Fluttershy felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach. “How could you? Those rumors made our lives a living hell for four years! I tried to kill myself because of them!” She screamed. A white-hot anger sprang up in her chest, combating with an overwhelming sense of sadness and confusion.
“Please Dash... tell me it’s not true. Tell me you didn’t do it.” Moisture pooled unbidden in Fluttershy’s eyes as she begged her friend. “Please don’t do this.”
“It’s all true ‘Shy.” Dash did not even look up from the couch. “I never meant for it to go as far as it did, and I tried to stop it once I saw it was hurting you, but it was too late.” She wiped a hoof across her nose, sniffing.
“Get out.” Fluttershy whispered.
“Fluttershy... please. Let me-” Rainbow tried to speak but the angry pegasus cut across her words.
“I said get out!” She shrieked. Hot tears stung at her face, blurring her vision. “Get out of my house! Get out of my life! I never want to see you again!” Fluttershy turned to run up the stairs to her bedroom.
“Please, let me explain!” Dash scrambled off of the couch, stumbling for a moment. Her voice broke as she called after the furious mare. “I know it won’t help, but ya have to let me explain. Please... Flutters.”
Fluttershy froze at her old nickname. Rainbow had not called her “Flutters” since they were in Flight School. Nopony else knew about the nickname, except for Pinkie Pie inexplicably knew many things she should not. The canary pegasus knew that if Dash was using her old nickname, the normally confident pony was on the verge of a complete breakdown.
“Alright.” She sighed. She forced her anger down to a roiling knot in her stomach. Fluttershy turned back to face Dash. “You have two minutes.”
“Thank you so much, ‘Shy.” A visible wave of relief passed over Rainbow. She lifted a hoof and scratched the back of her head. “I guess the short version is... I was scared.” Fluttershy cocked a quizzical eyebrow but remained silent. The chromatic-maned pegasus continued. “I know, I know. It’s stupid... foalish, but that’s what it boiled down to.”
“You were scared, so you made up terrible, soul-crushing, and ultimately life-threatening rumors?” The cautious yellow pony ventured, her voice laced with disbelief.
“Well, anything will sound bad when ya put it like that.” Dash forced a fragile smile that crumbled under Fluttershy’s glare. “Sorry... bad joke.” Her ears flattened back nervously as she pawed at the floor. A sharp pain stabbed through her chest as she pulled up the painful memories of the past. “It’s true though. I was scared because you were my only friend in Flight School. I was afraid that you would get tired of all the glares and whispers and you would leave me.”
Fluttershy tried to speak, but Dash interrupted her. “No. I need to get this out. Nopony liked me in Flight School, we both know that. I don’t know if they were jealous I was better than them, or if it was my penchant for showing off.” A tired smirk pulled at the corner of Rainbow’s mouth. “Whatever the reason, nopony in class wanted to hang out with me. You and I were already friends from before school, and I saw how some of the other fillies like Flitter and Cloudchaser would try and talk to ya when I wasn’t around. As soon as I showed up, they treated us like we had the Pony Pox.”
“Dash... I-” Fluttershy started, a slight blush flooding her cheeks.
“It’s OK, ‘Shy. I get it.” Dash waved off the pink-maned pony’s impending apology. “It never really bothered me that I wasn’t little miss popular, but it tore me up inside that you suffered because of it. Once we started training together, I thought it might get better. I hoped everypony else would see how great you could be and they would come around, but things only got worse. That’s when I really got terrified you would abandon me. I was afraid you would see how all the other fillies and colts in class were looking at us and what they were saying behind our backs and decide that I wasn’t worth it.”
“But... they...” Fluttershy stammered. “They were calling us fillyfoolers the whole time, even before the incident with my locker, weren't they?” She fell to a sitting position, her head whirling as her entire fillyhood replayed in her mind.
“No, not initially they weren’t.” Dash continued. “It started off with them saying we were trying to suck up to Instructor Swift and that we were teacher’s pets. They didn’t get the idea that we were... involved until I dropped a couple hints.” The hurt and regret in Rainbow’s voice was unmistakable, and her eyes were glued to the floor as though even looking at Fluttershy was painful. “Honestly, it didn’t take much. Just a glance at you that lingered a little too long... an artificial wing twitch when you would accidentally bump into me. Everypony got the picture pretty quickly.”
“You were always so angry at the rumors...” Fluttershy said. The two minutes promised had long since passed, but she could not bring herself to leave.
“Yea...” Dash sighed, finally looking up. “At first I was just pretending. I didn’t want ya to think I... felt that way about ya.” She held up her hooves defensively. “Don’t get me wrong, back then you were my best friend and I loved ya, but as a friend. I didn’t start thinkin’ about ya that way until after we got here to Ponyville. I thought that if you thought I felt that way about ya, you might freak out. Anyway, once I saw how much the rumors were messin’ you up I tried to stop them, but it was too late.”
“So all the fights...” The yellow mare thought aloud. A small spark of compassion flared up in Fluttershy’s chest, but it was still massively overwhelmed by her feelings of anger and betrayal.
“The fights were all against ponies who were talkin’ about you.” Rainbow declared. “I didn’t give a flying feather what they said about me, but I went to war against anypony who said something about you. You even patched me up afterward.” Dash chuckled at a private thought. “Although, you never saw the worst of it. If I ever got it real good I would limp my way down here and go to the Ponyville Hospital. Usually that only happened if something broke, I didn’t want you to have to see that.”
“Broke?” Fluttershy whispered, aghast at the newest revelations.
“Yea.” Dash nodded. “I broke my collarbone twice, four different ribs, and my left foreleg. Luckily, there was a unicorn doctor at the hospital who was an expert with bone mending spells, he could set and heal them without needing to put me in a cast.” Fluttershy could only sit in silence, her mouth hanging open in shock.
“Well, I think that’s about it.” Dash stood up and stretched, working out the stiffness in her legs and wings. The pain in her eyes was still there, but there was a tiny glint of hope as well. “Thanks for lettin’ me explain ‘Shy. I know it’s nowhere near enough, and I’ll understand if you never want to see me again.” The cyan pegasus trudged towards the door, pulling it open and flaring her wings to take off.
“Dashie...” Fluttershy’s voice was barely a whisper. Her expression was pained, but also thoughtful. “I... thank you for being honest with me. I promise I’ll think about what you said.” Her eyes dropped to the floor. “I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to forgive you... but I’ll try.”
Rainbow felt a weak smile force its way onto her face. “Honestly ‘Shy... that’s more than I deserve. Thanks.” She coiled her legs and prepared to leap into the air. At the last second, she paused and looked over her shoulder at her fillyhood friend. “I still love you, ‘Shy.”
“I know.” Fluttershy murmured, a slight blush flooding her face. With that, Dash leapt into the air and rapidly faded into the distance. The canary mare whispered to the empty air.
“I love you too, Dash.”
*
Gee... that went over well. Dash mentally scolded herself as she flew aimlessly around Ponyville. We went over there to discuss why Fluttershy tried to hang herself, and ended with me crying my eyes out and admitting that pretty much every horrible part of her past is my fault. A rumble from her stomach pulled Rainbow out of her thoughts. Celestia’s sun was dipping towards the horizon, casting the sky in brilliant hues of red and orange.
Is it seriously that late? No wonder I’m starving. A faint aroma caught Dash’s attention. Hello... what do we have here? She stopped, hovering in place to get a better sniff. Definitely something I want in on. Now to find the source. The rainbow-maned mare lazily flapped her wings, attempting to follow the tantalizing aroma back to its source. To her astonishment, the smell seemed to be emanating from a window of the Ponyville Library.
The library? Seriously? Twilight is a horrible cook. Dash thought as she alighted on the ground in front of the library’s door. She raised a hoof to knock before remembering that Fluttershy had confided the events of her past and her feelings for Rainbow to Twilight the other day. A sudden panic gripped the bold pony’s chest.
Well... she’s heard one side of the story, she might as well hear the other. Dash knocked on the door. Moments later, hoof steps sounded on the other side and the door swung open, surrounded by a faint purple aura of magic.
“Oh, hey there Rainbow Dash.” Twilight greeted the prismatic pegasus, a distinct nervousness in her voice. “Spike just made a delicious-looking oat and spinach quiche. Do you want some?”
“Sure...” Dash replied. Something about Twilight’s demeanor was off, but she could not put a hoof on it. The unicorn’s smile was a little too big, her voice a little too cheery. She was definitely hiding something.
“So, how are things?” The studious mare tried to make idle chit-chat. “Everything alright? No big, life-altering ordeals?” Again her smile was slightly too big to be believable. The clatter of plates came from the kitchen as Spike served up dinner.
“Uh... yea, actually.” Dash trotted over to the table and sat on a floor cushion. “I just came over here from Fluttershy’s cottage. We had... an interesting talk.” She picked up her fork and poked the quiche with it, trying to distract herself from the rampaging emotions in her head.
“Really?” Twilight’s smile somehow grew even bigger. “Whatever could you have had to talk about that would be so interesting I wonder?” She sounded more like Rarity than Twilight, trying excessively hard to be nonchalant.
A slight redness creeps into Dash’s face, hidden by her blue coat. “Actually, we were talking about Flight School.” She spears a bite of quiche, glaring at it as though it had somehow offended her. “It wasn’t a pleasant conversation.” She added before popping the food into her mouth.
“Wait... you... what?” Twilight lost her affected casual demeanor. “Flight School? I thought you two had an agreement not to talk about it.” Her eyes shot open as she realized what she had said. “Oh! I’m sorry, I... I don’t know if you knew that Fluttershy told me. I-”
“It’s alright Twi’.” Dash cut across Twilight’s rambling. “I figured she probably told you about it before she started talking to you about everything that happened back then.” The chromatic pegasus pushed her plate away, her appetite suddenly gone. “Well... you’ve heard Fluttershy’s side of the story. I guess it’s time you heard mine.”
For the second time that day, Rainbow Dash dredged up her darkest secret and bared it for another to see. The sharp stabbing pain in her chest was still there, but it was blunted compared to the first time. By the end of the story, she felt like she should be crying, but no tears came. Ever the curious student, Twilight asked a seemingly endless series of questions about Fluttershy and Dash’s time at Flight School.
By the time Dash’s story was done and all of Twilight’s questions were answered, the sun had long since passed beyond the horizon and Spike could be heard snoring lightly from the other room. Twilight finally tore herself away from the task at hand long enough to glance at the clock, it read half past eleven.
“Oh my gosh! How did it get to be so late?” The purple unicorn looked around the kitchen. The dishes from dinner were still on the table, the food having gotten cold hours ago. With a flare of light from her horn, Twilight gathered up the discarded plates and levitated them into the sink. “I’m so sorry to keep you so late, Dash. You probably need to get home and get to bed.”
“Actually, Twilight...” Dash muttered. “Would... would it be cool if I stayed here tonight?” She looked up from the table she had been studying for the past hour. The normally bold mare met Twilight’s gaze, her eyes filled with worry and hurt. “I... I just don’t want to be alone tonight.”
The socially awkward unicorn felt like she should do something, but she had no idea what. A pat on the back? A hug? Offer a shoulder to cry on? Ultimately, the moment passed and Twilight felt that any opportunity she had to comfort Dash had slipped away.
“Of course you can stay here Dash.” She offered. “I’ve got an extra mattress in the basement. Let me go grab it.” A small part of Twilight’s mind screamed to turn the blue mare’s impromptu overnight stay into a slumber party, but she figured that the last thing Rainbow needed right now was girly shenanigans. As she trotted into the basement, the librarian flared her horn to life and retrieved the extra mattress, taking an extra moment to inspect its cleanliness.
“Alright, here we are. One extra mattress.” Twilight dropped the bed on the floor with a soft thump. She walked over to the staircase leading up to her room. “Goodnight, Rainbow.” She called over her shoulder.
“Night, Twi’.” Dash replied halfheartedly. She was physically tired, but her mind was still buzzing with activity. For the most part, the lovesick pegasus simply wondered what the object of her affections was doing, and whether or not Fluttershy would ever be able to forgive her. Eventually, Rainbow was able to fall into a fitful, nightmare-filled sleep.
The next two days passed in a haze for Dash. She spent each day wandering aimlessly around Ponyville, only stopping when her stomach announced it was time for food. As night fell, she would make her way back to the library to sleep. While the lethargic pony was afraid she was wearing out her welcome at the library, Twilight assured her that is was no trouble and she could stay as long as she needed. On the morning of the third day, Rainbow stirred from her sleep to a new sensation as a warm breath played across her face.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.” A familiar silky voice sounded from nearby. Dash bolted up as she placed the voice’s owner.
“Fluttershy!” She cried out. “When did you get here?” Dash’s heart beat was thundering in her ears, her breathing rapid and shallow. Fluttershy simply giggled at her friend’s reaction, laying a comforting hoof on her cheek. The prismatic pony instantly calmed down at the touch, relishing the contact.
“Hi, Dashie.” The canary mare sighed. A bashful smile danced across her face.
“Fluttershy, I’m so sorry I-” Rainbow tried to apologize, but was silenced as her friend placed a hoof over her mouth. A knot of worry formed in the rainbow-maned pony’s stomach.
“Shh...” Fluttershy whispered. “You’ve said more than enough Dash. Today it’s my turn to talk.” Despite her soothing tone, something in the kind pegasus’ words put Rainbow on edge.
“You were honest with me, so I’ll be honest with you.” Fluttershy’s voice was low, but firm. “I wanted to hate you after what you said to me. I wanted to be angry at you, to despise you, for what you did back in Flight School.” The mare on the mattress tensed up involuntarily. Fluttershy looked into Rainbow’s eyes, and her own eyes held no anger or malice. “I couldn’t do it. I tried to. I wanted to... but I just couldn’t.” Tears welled up in the gentle pony’s eyes, threatening to overflow and run down her face.
“I love you, Dashie. I love you, and I forgive you.” Fluttershy leaned forward and kissed Dash. The brash pony did not respond at first, unable to wrap her mind around the events that just occurred. After a moment, the yellow mare’s words sunk in and Rainbow reached up to pull her love deeper into the kiss. The two pegasi shared the blissful moment before Dash reluctantly pulled away.
“Are you serious, ‘Shy?” A single tear rolled down Dash’s cheek. “You... you don’t hate me?” The worried blue pegasus grabbed her friend’s hoof and held it between her own as though she was afraid Fluttershy would float away.
“Of course not, Dash.” The calm mare replied. A brief look of pain flashed over her features. “I’m still hurt about... what you did during Flight School, but I’m not willing to throw what we could have away over that.” She reached up and wiped the tear off of Rainbow’s cheek.
“Fluttershy, you really are amazing.” Dash pulled the pink-maned pegasus into a hug. “What did I ever do in my life to deserve somepony as wonderful as you?” She wondered aloud. A sudden idea struck her as she pulled back from her friend.
“Hey... ‘Shy?” Rainbow traced a pattern on the mattress, unable to look up. “Would... would you like to go to dinner with me?” Fluttershy placed a hoof on Dash’s chin and pulled her head up to look in her eyes. A blush rose in the shy pegasus’ face.
Fluttershy stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom, going over her appearance for the fourth time. Through the open windows she could faintly hear the Ponyville clock tower chime seven o’clock. Alright, Dash should be here any minute. She reminded herself. How does my mane look? It looks like it always does... is that okay? She ran a critical eye over her light pink mane. Should I style it for tonight? Do I have time? Oh Celestia, I have no idea what I’m doing.
Does Dash have any idea what she’s getting herself into with you? Her mind broke in. You sound like Rarity, and you know how much Rainbow hates all of that girly stuff.
Fluttershy dropped her head to rest on the sink. I know, but this is my, our, first real... date. Heat flooded her face as she thought about the reality of the situation. Rainbow asked me out... I still can’t believe it. A huge, dopey grin spread across her face even as her cheeks darkened to a crimson hue.
Oh yes, a date. The voice in her head sneered. Now little miss hates-the-spotlight will be walking down the street hoof in hoof with another mare.
No. I’m not going to let you ruin this. Fluttershy picked her head up off the sink and trotted out of the bathroom. You’ve tormented me for years about my feelings for Dash, even before I knew I had them. We’re just going to have a nice, quiet dinner and you’re going to keep your big mouth shut.
Ooh... where is this new-found confidence coming from? Her mind quipped. I’m sure Rainbow Dash will love seeing this new side to you... especially after you two get back from dinner.
Despite her best efforts, the thought lodged itself in Fluttershy’s mind. Oh no... what if Dash expects something to happen tonight? She unconsciously began pacing around her living room. That seems too fast... but then again Dash is all about speed. Oh no oh no oh no.
A sharp trio of knocks at the door jolted Fluttershy out of her nervous pacing. She trotted over to the door and took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She pulled the door open and found Rainbow Dash standing outside, she was tracing her hoof in the dirt and had something hidden behind her back.
“Hey ‘Shy.” Dash looked up from her drawing in the dirt. “I... I brought ya something.” She pulled her hoof out from behind her back and revealed a bouquet of white lilies.
“Oh, Dashie!” Fluttershy took the bouquet and deeply inhaled the fresh scent of the flowers. “Lilies are my favorite. How did you know?”
“Just a lucky guess I suppose.” Dash picked up a hoof and scratched at the back of her neck.
Fluttershy gave her a skeptical look. “A lucky guess, huh?” Rainbow shuffled her feet nervously before finally letting out a small sigh.
“Alright, ya got me. I stopped by Rarity’s on the way here and asked her what I should get. On a side note, I’m never doing that again.” Dash rolled her eyes. “Rarity practically tied me down to try and get me all dressed up for tonight.”
Fluttershy could not help but giggle at the mental image of Rarity trying to put Dash in a dress. “Well, it was a very sweet gesture.” She looked down to admire the flowers again, but something caught her eye. “Hold on, it looks like there’s an empty stem in here.” She reached up and pulled a single bare stem from the bunch.
“Oh, yea.” Dash resumed tracing a pattern in the dirt, unable to meet Fluttershy’s gaze. “Ya see, I was kind of... nervous about tonight all day and I skipped lunch. On my way over here, I was so hungry I kind of... ate one of your flowers. Sorry.”
“That’s perfectly fine, Dash.” Fluttershy licked her lips as she eyed a particularly delicious looking lily. “I wouldn’t want to eat all of these myself anyway. It would spoil my appetite for dinner.” She leaned down and bit off the flower, relishing the smooth texture and slightly sweet flavor. She swallowed and continued. “Speaking of dinner, where are we going?”
A mischievous smile spread across Dash’s face. “Oh don’t worry, ‘Shy. It’s gonna be awesome. The Wonderbolts are doin’ a meet-and-greet at The Greasy Trough, and I scored us seats!”
“Oh...” Fluttershy dropped her head a little bit. “That sounds... nice.” She absentmindedly bit off another flower from the bunch.
“I’m just messin’ with ya, ‘Shy.” Dash reached over and gave Fluttershy a light punch on the shoulder. “Give me a little credit. I may not be good at all the mushy romantic stuff, but I still know how to show my marefriend a good time.”
So, we’re a “marefriend” now, are we?
Fluttershy bit her lip to suppress a squeal of glee. She instinctively hid behind her mane s her face flushed a deep crimson. “Y-your... marefriend?”
Dash’s eyes shot open as her normally cocky demeanor was replaced by a look of sheer terror. “My... did I just say that out loud?” She appeared to be on the verge of running away again before she simply shrugged. “Ah, to hay with it. Fluttershy, would you like to be my marefriend?”
This time Fluttershy was unable to stop the squeal of glee from escaping. She quickly regained her calm composure. “Dash, nothing would make me happier than to have you as my marefriend.”
“Oh... nothing?” Rainbow waggled her eyebrows.
Oh, she’s good.
If it were possible, Fluttershy’s blush deepened and she immediately began drilling holes into the ground with her eyes. The thought from earlier resurfaced. Oh no, she does expect something to happen tonight.
Dash merely chuckled. “Ya know, you’re really cute when you’re flustered ‘Shy.” She leaned over and gave Fluttershy a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to trot down the road. “Come on, I figured we could grab a bite at the Cantering Café.”
The couple made their way down the meandering road from Fluttershy’s cottage to Ponyville. Celestia’s sun inched its way towards the horizon, and bathed the sky in brilliant shades of red and orange. After several minutes, they arrived at the café in question and chose to sit inside. They requested a table near a west-facing window to enjoy the sunset. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were looking over the menu when the latter felt the soft caress of a hoof traveling up her hind leg.
“Dash! We’re in public!” Fluttershy chided, drawing a chuckle from the other pegasus.
“Relax, ‘Shy.” Rainbow waved a hoof airily. “There’s a reason I wanted to sit inside. Tablecloths.” She grabbed a portion of the linen cloth draped over the table that fell all the way to the floor and held it up. “That way no one can see what goes on under the table.” She bounced her eyebrows.
“Oh...” Fluttershy’s cheeks burned red and she buried her snout in the menu. She felt as though something were missing. It took her a moment to realize that her internal dialogue had yet to make an appearance at the café.
Don’t worry, I’m still here. As if on cue, the voice cut into Fluttershy’s thoughts. It’s just much more fun to watch you get flustered all by yourself.
Fluttershy let out an inaudible sigh and cursed herself silently. Well, I’ll gladly sit here and be flustered if it keeps you quiet.
Dash finally noticed her marefriend’s silence and reached up to pull down the menu she was studying so intently. “Hey, sorry ‘bout that. I...” She paused, weighing her words. “I just tend to move kinda... fast. Let me know if I try and do anything you’re not comfortable with. I really want this to work and I don’t want to risk losing you because I tried to move too quickly.” Rainbow grabbed Fluttershy’s hoof and held it between her own.
Darn, and we were having such fun.
Fluttershy ignored the intrusive thought and felt a warmth spread through her chest. “Thanks, Dashie. That really means a lot to me.” She dropped her eyes and continued. “I want this to work too. It’s just that... I’m scared of what everypony will think if they see us together. I don’t want to go through Flight School all over again.” Tears pooled in her eyes as she finished.
“Are you messin’ with me, ‘Shy?” Dash raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Lyra and Bon Bon have been together for what... years now? Nopony gives them any grief about it.” She turned and a smirk played across her face. “Not to mention, they’ve been sitting over there since we came in trying to see who can get their tongue further down the other’s throat.”
Fluttershy turned and followed Dash’s gaze to a booth in the corner of the café. Despite the glow of the setting sun, the booth was shrouded in darkness, no doubt an effect of Lyra’s magic. Even through the artificial shadows, it was easy to make out the forms of the two mares in question, who were kissing with a surprising vigor. Fluttershy turned back to stare at her menu, her cheeks flushed a deep crimson.
“See?” Dash turned back. “If ponies can put up with something like that, I don’t think they’ll mind a little hoofsies under the table.”
Their conversation was interrupted by their waiter arriving to take their order. Fluttershy ordered a daisy and tulip salad while Dash got an oat burger with hay fries. The couple sat in easy silence for the meal, and occasionally traded bashful smiles and glances. Partway through the meal, Fluttershy worked up her courage and ran one of her hind hooves up Dash’s leg, returning the favor from earlier. Rainbow, who had a mouthful of hay fries, jumped at the unexpected contact and started coughing as her food traveled down the wrong pipe.
“You’ll pay for that.” Dash smiled after she recovered from her coughing fit.
“Oh, I hope so.” Fluttershy winked at Rainbow, whose mouth fell open slightly.
Whoa whoa whoa... when did you learn to be smooth? The voice in her head sounded genuinely surprised.
I... I don’t know, but that was fun. Fluttershy giggled at Dash’s stunned reaction. “What’s the matter Dashie? You can dish it out but you can’t take it?” She gave Rainbow her best attempt at a seductive gaze.
Okay, who are you and what have you done with Fluttershy?
“Wow.” Dash finally recovered enough to speak, but not before her cheeks flushed a light pink visible through her coat. “Flutters, if I had known you could be this... charming, I would have asked you out years ago.”
After they finished their food, Dash paid the bill and they left the café. Stepping out into the cool evening air, Rainbow wrapped one of her wings around Fluttershy. At first, the canary mare was afraid that the gesture would attract unwanted attention. However, soon the warmth and forced proximity to Dash made her decide she did not care. The pair was walking down the deserted streets of Ponyville when a familiar voice caught their attention.
“Why do ya wanna go that way?” Applebloom’s voice sounded from down the road. “The library’s right there, you’re goin’ the wrong way, AJ.”
Dash and Fluttershy glanced down the road and spotted the three youngest members of the Apple family, Applebloom, Applejack and Big Macintosh. Applejack was trying as hard as she could to push Big Mac down a side street, to no avail. The two mares increased their pace to reach the three earth ponies, Dash never moving her wing from around Fluttershy.
“Hey there guys!” Dash called out. “What brings ya to Ponyville so late in the evening?”
“Well...” Big Mac replied, staring at his sister’s attempt to push him. “We were comin’ down to see Miss Twilight ‘bout-” His words cut off as he looked up to see Dash with her wing around Fluttershy. Mac’s eyes narrowed slightly. He cleared his throat and continued. “It don’t much matter. Come on Applebloom, ya don’t need to be seein’ this.”
“Seein’ what?” Applebloom asked. “It’s just Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy... I see ‘em all the time.”
“True enough.” Mac sneered. “Up until now, we didn’t know they was fillyfoolers though.”
“Filly-what now?” The small filly cocked her to the side. Applejack finally gave up on her attempts to move her brother and sighed.
“Never you mind Mac, AB.” Applejack waved her sister off. “You run on ahead and see if Twilight’s got that book on seeds that grow in cold weather.” Applebloom started to protest, but her sister cut across her. “Now, please.” The small filly walked off in the direction of the library, grumbling.
“What’s goin’ on here, Mac?” Dash spoke up, a slight edge to her voice. “Ya got a problem with me and ‘Shy bein’ together?”
“Eeyup.” Mac replied in his slow drawl. “It ain’t natural, two mares together. If you two are gonna be that way, Ah would appreciate it if y’all would stay away from Applebloom.” He snorted angrily. “We don’t need ya fillin’ her head with improper ideas.”
“Now, hold on a sec, Mac.” Applejack moved to stand between Big Mac, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. “These are two o’ mah best friends. If bein’ together makes ‘em happy, then Ah don’t see how it’s anypony’s business to tell ‘em otherwise."
Big Mac raised an eyebrow and gave Applejack a disbelieving look. “Really now? Ah seem to recall just last week ya had some rather choice words for them other fillyfoolers, Lyra and Bon Bon.”
Applejack folded her ears back nervously. “Well... yea... Ah guess Ah did.” She stood up straight, defiance in her stance. “Things change though. Ah been thinkin’ about it and Ah don’t see any reason why two mares who love each other shouldn’t be allowed to be together.”
“Hmph.” Mac snorted. “Ah wonder AJ, what brought about this here change o’ heart? What changed to make ya suddenly feel this way?”
“What changed?” Anger began to creep into Applejack’s voice. “What changed? Ah’ll tell ya what changed. One o’ mah best friends tried to kill herself ‘cause o’ what Ah was sayin’.”
“Applejack...” Fluttershy tried to explain again.
“No, ‘Shy.” Applejack cut across her. “You done told me time and time again that what Ah said to ya had no influence on what happened, but Ah don’t buy it.” She turned back to face Mac. “So ya see, my hate and disgust for fillyfoolers almost cost the life o’ one o’ mah best friends.”
Big Mac stood speechless for several seconds, processing the recent news of Fluttershy’s attempted suicide. Eventually he closed his eyes and sighed. “Ah’m mighty sorry to hear that Miss Fluttershy,” He opened his eyes, a grim determination set on his face. “but Ah have to stand by what Ah believe in. Ah’m sorry, but as long as you and Miss Dash are together, Ah’m gonna have to ask ya to stay away from little Applebloom. Sadly, Ah also have to say that y’all are no longer welcome at Sweet Apple Acres.”
“What in tarnation?” The fury in Applejack’s voice rose. “Ya think you can just ban ‘em from the farm like that? It’s mah farm too, and Ah say they’re still welcome, together or not.”
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash stood nearby, utterly entranced by the scene playing out before them. Applejack and Big Mac were arguing vehemently, and the siblings looked as though they might come to blows at any moment. Fluttershy looked up and down the street they were on, thankful that it was deserted.
“Ya wanna give Granny Smith a heart attack?” Big Mac shot back. “Imagine how she would react to seein’ somethin’ like that at the farm” He gestured towards Dash, who still had her wing wrapped around Fluttershy.
“Why... you... Ah...” Applejack stammered. An idea struck her. “What if it were me?” She asked.
“What are ya sayin’ AJ?” Big Mac narrowed his eyes, his voice menacing.
“What if it were me together with Dash or ‘Shy? What if I was a fillyfooler? Would ya kick me out into the cold?”
“Ma and Pa didn’t raise them no fillyfooler!” Mac shouted, stomping a hoof on the last word.
“They didn’t raise them no liar, neither!” Applejack matched Big Mac’s anger and volume. “Now answer the question. Would ya kick me outta the house if I was with a mare?”
“Course not. You’re family.” Some of Mac’s anger faded, but it reemerged with his next statement. “This is different. They ain’t family.”
“The hay they ain’t!” Applejack’s temper finally got the better of her. She stepped up to Big Mac and poked him in the chest with a hoof. “They’re just as much family to me as you and Applebloom are. Ah ain’t gonna sit here and listen to anypony tell ‘em that they don’t deserve to be happy. Not even you, Mac.”
Big Mac took a step back from his sister. “Ah’m goin’ back to the farm before somepony says somethin’ they’ll regret.” He turned and began walking back in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. He called back over his shoulder. “Be sure and get that book from Miss Twilight and bring Applebloom home.”
“Ah think somepony’s already said a few things he’ll regret.” Applejack muttered to herself. She hung her head and sighed. “Ah’m a might sorry y’all had to see that.” She turned back to face Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. The latter had tears streaming down her face and was on the verge of openly crying.
“Fluttershy? Ya alright?” Applejack took a tentative step towards the couple. Fluttershy galloped forward and threw her forehooves around the farm pony’s neck, pulling her into a tight hug.
“Thank you,” Fluttershy whispered, her voice breaking. “Thank you so much, AJ.” Her emotions overwhelmed her and she sobbed softly into Applejack’s mane.
“Um... yer welcome?” Applejack cast a curious glance towards Dash.
“We were tormented relentlessly at Flight School because everypony thought we were... together back then.” Dash explained as a smile pulled at her lips. “It’s just nice to have somepony finally stick up for us.”
“Well, shoot.” Applejack stroked Fluttershy’s mane as she calmed down. “Yer makin’ it sound like Ah did somethin’ special. All Ah did was what Ah do best, be honest and tell the truth. If’n you two are happy together, Ah don’t see how it’s anypony’s business to tell ya that it’s wrong.”
“Ah... nng... got... hmph... the book.” Applebloom arrived from the library wearing a saddlebag several sizes too big for her loaded with a book almost as large as she was. “Where’s Big Mac?”
Applejack pulled away from Fluttershy, who had calmed significantly. “He went on home already. Come on, we need to be gettin’ back too.” She took the saddlebag from Applebloom and threw it over her back. She turned back to Dash. “You two enjoy your... night out.” Applejack winked and headed down the road to the farm with her sister. The couple watched them walk down the road until they rounded a corner.
“So, what do ya wanna do now ‘Shy?” Dash trotted over to her marefriend.
Fluttershy sniffed, still emotional from the argument. “Honestly, I just want to go home. Dinner was lovely, and that...” She gestured in the direction Applebloom and Applejack had departed in. “that was...” Tears welled up in her eyes again.
“I know.” Dash reached up and laid a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Let’s go home.” Rainbow wrapped her wing around Fluttershy again and the couple made their way back to the cottage near the Everfree Forest. Along the way, the sun finally fell below the horizon, revealing Luna’s moon and stars. The heavens lacked any clouds, allowing the pegasi to observe full grandeur of the lunar princess’ night sky.
“So, this was a lot of fun.” Dash spoke up as they reached the door to the cottage.
“It was.” Fluttershy pawed at the dirt nervously. She wanted to invite Rainbow inside, but on the other hoof, they had agreed to take things slowly.
Here’s the Fluttershy we all know and love, indecisive and scared. Her internal dialogue returned.
No, I’m not going to be scared anymore. Not with Dashie. Fluttershy stopped pawing at the dirt and looked up at Dash. The hunger from before returned, stronger than before. “Do... do you want to come in for a bit?” Fluttershy gave Rainbow her best flirtatious look. “It’s still early after all.” She batted her eyelids.
“I... I dunno, ‘Shy.” Dash muttered as her face flushed with color. “I thought we had agreed to take it slow.”
Fluttershy gave a fake exasperated sigh. “Now, don’t tell me the famous Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all of Equestria, is afraid of a little speed.” She turned towards the door, flicking her tail so the tip of it brushed across Dash’s nose. “I guess I’ll just have to enjoy a nice evening by the fire all by myself.” She threw a smoldering glance over her shoulder as she opened the door.
Okay, seriously, where are you getting all of this? I’m you. I know everything you know, and I don’t know where you’re getting this. The voice in her head had lost its usual condescending tone.
Hush. I’m trying to work my game here. She shot back.
Since when do you have game?
Since tonight, apparently. Fluttershy stepped into her living room and called back to Dash. “Besides, don’t I still have to pay for what happened at dinner?”
“I... you...” Rainbow stood outside faltering in her attempt to form a complete thought. After a moment, she shook her head and trotted in the doorway. “I have to ask, ‘Shy. Did ya get a book from Twilight or somethin’? You are workin’ it tonight. You could teach ‘Seduction 101’ at Canterlot University.”
Fluttershy held her hooves up in mock surrender. “You got me, Dash. I went to the library and checked out How to Seduce Ponies and Get Laid.” She winked at Rainbow before she returned to placing wood in the fireplace and getting the fire going.
And I thought Dash was good at flirting. Her mind quipped. You’re putting her to shame right now.
Rainbow had once again lost her ability for speech and resorted to staring at Fluttershy in shock with her mouth hanging open. Eventually, she managed to work out a single question. “Alright, who are you and what have you done with Fluttershy?”
Finally! Somepony else notices!
Fluttershy ignored the thought and slowly stepped closer to Dash, stopping when their noses were only inches apart. “What’s wrong, Dashie?” She whispered. “Don’t you like the new me?” Before Rainbow could answer, Fluttershy leaned forward and kissed her. She felt something stir in her chest and she pushed forward deeper into the kiss. Dash closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of Fluttershy’s lips on her own.
Fluttershy pulled Rainbow up so that both of them were standing on their hind legs, leaving their forehooves free to roam elsewhere. Dash reached up and ran a hoof through Fluttershy’s mane, drawing a moan from the pegasus. Rainbow tentatively extended her tongue, brushing it along her partner’s closed lips. Fluttershy immediately responded, parting her lips slightly and sending her own tongue to dance with Dash’s.
Slowly, all of Fluttershy’s conscious thought melted away. Nothing mattered to her beyond the cyan pegasus in her hooves. She flared her wings and wrapped them around Dash, pulling her closer. Meanwhile, Fluttershy’s hooves wandered through Dash’s mane and down the edges of her wings, drawing shudders that ran down her spine. Soon she felt Rainbow’s hooves on her chest, lightly but firmly pressing her away. Reluctantly, Fluttershy broke the kiss and leaned back. Both ponies panted lightly with color flooding their faces.
“Hey...” Dash muttered breathlessly. “Not that I’m not really enjoying this, but this seems to be moving a little fast for a first date.” She smiled weakly. “Why don’t we call it a night and we can pick this up next time.”
Every part of Fluttershy’s mind and body screamed at her to just lean back in and keep kissing Dash, but she took a deep breath and gazed deeply into Rainbow’s eyes. “If that’s what you want, it’s fine with me.” She leaned in and planted a quick kiss on Dash’s nose before unfurling her wings and stepping back.
The blush on Dash’s face darkened a shade as she trotted to the door. She pulled on the handle and looked back over her shoulder at Fluttershy. “Ya know, you may never have done this before ‘Shy, but you’re a freakin’ natural at it.” Her confident demeanor faltered for a moment. “I... I’ll see ya tomorrow, okay?”
“I don’t know. We’ll see.” Fluttershy pretended to examine her hoof disinterestedly. She giggled as Dash’s face turned into a look of shock. “I’m just kidding, Dash. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Just when I think I’ve got ya figured out ‘Shy.” Dash shook her head as she stepped out the door. She paused as she was closing it. “I love you, Flutters.”
“I love you too, Dashie.” Fluttershy turned to head up to her bedroom. She doubted she would be able to sleep since her mind was still buzzing with activity. After some time spent tossing and turning in bed, she eventually managed to fall into a sleep filled with rather inappropriate dreams starring a certain prismatic-maned pegasus.
Fluttershy awoke the next morning tangled in her sheets after hours of dreaming about what might have happened if Rainbow Dash had not chosen to leave the previous night. She smiled as she remembered not only the dreams, but the feelings of what actually did happen. The feeling of Dash’s lips against her own. The silken texture of Rainbow’s coat and mane. A slight blush rose in her cheeks as a now familiar warmth spread through her chest.
Dear Celestia, I thought things were bad before you even realized you were into Dash. Her internal voice reappeared. If every morning is going to start off like this, you and I are going to have to have a serious chat.
Oh, quiet you. Fluttershy made her way to the bathroom to wash up. You’re just mad because for once in my life I have a chance to be happy and I won’t let you mess it up. She washed her face and set about taking care of her animal friends for the morning. Mostly that just meant putting out food since very few animals had been injured recently. After all of the animals had been fed, Fluttershy found herself restlessly pacing around her living room.
“I wonder what Dash is up to?” She wondered aloud. She rolled her eyes as the obvious answer presented itself. “It’s before noon, so she’s probably still asleep.” She resumed pacing around the room, trying to bleed off nervous energy.
“Oh, I know!” Fluttershy perked up as an idea struck her. “I can go see Rarity. I’m sure she’ll be dying to know how last night went.” She trotted to the door and pulled it open. “I’m heading out, Angel.” She called back. “You’re in charge until I get back.” The rabbit in question lay on the floor near his recently emptied food dish. He waved a paw to indicate he understood, but made no other attempt to move.
Fluttershy made her way into Ponyville, humming a tune she could not place the source of. She was just down the street from the Carousel Boutique when a distinct and hauntingly familiar colt’s voice sounded behind her.
“Well, well, well.” The voice sneered. “If it isn’t my favorite little fillyfooler, Fluttercry.”
Run. Her mind commanded. Now.
No, it can’t be him... it can’t be. Fluttershy slowly turned around and came face to face with her most aggressive tormentor from Flight School, Thunderlane. A horrifying tightness grasped her chest, constricting her breath.
“Thunderlane.” She choked out. “W- what are y- you doing here?”
“Now that’s not a very nice way to greet an old friend, is it?” Thunderlane took a step forward and Fluttershy involuntarily cringed back. “It’s been what, ten years?” A familiar cruel smile played across his face.
This is going to get very bad, very quickly. Fluttershy’s internal voice warned. Distract him and make a break for Rarity’s.
“Oh no! Look, a dragon!” Fluttershy cried, thinking of the scariest thing she could. It worked, and Thunderlane turned to look where she had pointed. She immediately turned and galloped full speed for the boutique. She reached the door, pulled it open, ran inside, and slammed it shut. Fluttershy reached up and locked the door before collapsing on the ground.
“Fluttershy, dear! Whatever is the matter?” Rarity’s voice came from behind the frightened pegasus.
“Oh, Rarity.” Fluttershy started. “It’s terrible! I was just outside and-” She turned and stopped in shock at the scene in front of her. Rarity was not alone in the store. Rainbow Dash was also there, tied to a chair by several lengths of ribbon. “Um... what’s going on here?” Fluttershy asked.
“Oh, yes.” Rarity glanced at Dash. “Rainbow and I were just... talking. That’s all.”
“Talking my flank!” Rainbow shot back. She turned to glare at the white unicorn. “I was just comin’ by to thank Rarity here for her suggestion to get you the lilies yesterday, but she wouldn’t let me leave until I told her all about our date.” Dash looked back at Fluttershy. “I tried to tell her I wasn’t gonna say anything until I knew you were okay with it, and that’s when she tied me down.” She pulled futilely at the ribbons holding her in place.
“To be fair, if you had just told us what we wanted to know, we wouldn’t have had to tie you down.” A fourth voice drifted in from the store’s kitchen. Twilight trotted in through the archway, levitating a teapot and four cups. “Although, now that Fluttershy is here we can just ask her if it’s alright for you to tell us.” She gently placed the tea pot and cups on a nearby table.
Excellent timing, as always. The internal dialogue kicked in.
Why do things like this always happen to me? Fluttershy let her head hang for a moment before picking it back up. “Listen girls, now is really not the time for this. Dash and I have a serious problem.” All three of the others stared at her.
“Wait... we do?” A look of panic spread over Dash’s face.
“Oh! No no no no. Not like that.” Fluttershy amended. She glanced over her shoulder to look out the window. “It’s just that... I was on my way over here and I ran into somepony. Somepony I hoped we would never see again. Thunderlane.”
“What?” Rainbow strained against her bonds again before Rarity untied them with a flare of magic. “Where is he? He didn’t hurt you did he? I’ll bucking kill him if he tries to touch you again!” She galloped towards the door.
“Hold on a second, Dash.” Twilight grabbed onto Dash’s tail with her magic, stopping the hotheaded pegasus in her tracks. “Thunderlane? The colt from Flight School? What happened to make you so mad at him in particular? I was under the impression that all the other fillies and colts in your class made fun of you.”
Looks like it’s time to lay all your cards on the table, buddy. Fluttershy’s mind prodded.
“Yea, everypony made fun of us.” Dash answered. “Thunderlane was the worst about it though. He was the first one to call us fillyfoolers, and he... he tried to...” Her voice trailed off. Tears pooled in her eyes, which she quickly wiped away with a hoof.
“Shh... It’s okay, Dashie.” Fluttershy placed a comforting hoof on her marefriend’s shoulder. “I’ll tell them about it.”
“Tell us about what, exactly?” Twilight asked warily.
“What Thunderlane did back then. He’s the reason we left Flight School ten years ago.” Fluttershy sat at the table and began pouring the tea.
*
Cloudsdale Flight School: Ten Years Ago
Fluttershy stood at her locker in the fillies-only locker room. This was the first year at Flight School that the fillies and colts in her class had been separated into different locker rooms. The area was deserted except for Fluttershy. She had stayed behind after everypony else left to mourn the latest Flight Score Rankings that had just been posted.
Seventh. She berated herself. I’ve fallen all the way to seventh, and I’m only two points from falling behind Flitter to eighth place. I used to be second. Second! Fluttershy hung her head. Her flying abilities had been slowly regressing ever since she stopped training with Rainbow Dash three years ago. She had quit the intense training routine in an effort to stop the rumors swirling around the school that Dash and her were romantically involved, but it had not helped.
Me and Rainbow? Fluttershy wondered for the millionth time. I’ve never thought about anypony like that, how could I do that with my best friend? She was so busy with her internal speculation that she did not hear the soft hoof falls of three ponies entering the locker room.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” A deep voice asked. “It looks like one lonely fillyfooler.”
Fluttershy snapped out of her thoughts and whirled around. Three colts stood at the other end of the room. Thunderlane, with his lackeys Stormchaser and Shadow Dancer. She immediately tried to back away, but ran into the bank of lockers behind her.
“W- what are y- you three doing h- here? T- this is the f- fillies locker room, y- you can’t be in here.” Fluttershy stuttered. She felt a strange tightness forming in her chest that made it difficult to breathe.
“I don’t see anypony here to stop us.” Thunderlane looked around. He turned back to face her, a malicious smile spreading across his face. “Besides, I think it’s high time you and I had a nice... chat.” He took a few steps forward.
A small part of Fluttershy’s mind seemed to whisper to her. Run. She shook her head to dispel the thought. Shadow Dancer and Stormchaser were blocking the exit while Thunderlane slowly advanced. She inhaled as deeply as she could and did the only thing she could think to do.
She screamed.
A bloodcurdling shriek rent the air. Fluttershy yelled as loud and as long as she could, praying to Celestia that somepony would hear it and come to help her. The three colts clamped their hooves over their ears, falling to their knees as the horrific sound assaulted their eardrums.
“That wasn’t very nice, Fluttercry.” Thunderlane growled, his cruel smiled replaced with a vicious scowl. “Besides, it’s not like anypony heard you. Everypony is long gone, we made sure of that before we came in here.” He took another step forward.
“W- what do you want?” Fluttershy whimpered, tears pooling in her eyes as she cringed down.
“You never were the sharpest knife in the drawer.” Thunderlane’s smirk returned. “Isn’t it obvious? We’re here to help you with your little... problem.” Another step forward.
“P- p- problem?” She stammered. “W- what p- problem?”
“What problem?” Thunderlane sneered. “Why, your little fillyfooler problem. We figured that all you needed was for a colt, or three, to show you what you were missing.” He bounced his eyebrows and his friends by the door chuckled to themselves. He took yet another step forward.
“No...” The meaning of his words hit Fluttershy like a kick to the stomach. “Y- you can’t do that...”
“Oh?” Thunderlane looked around in mock confusion. “Exactly who’s going to stop us, your little marefriend Rainbow Crash?” He casually leaned against the locker next to the cowering yellow pegasus.
“You’re bucking right I am!” Dash’s voice sounded from the doorway. Before any of them could react, a rainbow-colored streak blazed across the room. It slammed into Thunderlane’s head, smashing it against the bank of lockers and denting the dense cloud. Rainbow Dash pushed off of her position perched on Thunderlane’s face, forcing his head into the lockers a second time and vaulting her into the air. Thunderlane slowly slid to the ground, unconscious.
“Run, Flutters!” Dash commanded. “Get back to the room, lock the door and don’t open it for anypony.” She immediately turned and sped off towards the two colts by the doorway, who were still stunned at the recent turn of events.
Fluttershy’s mind finally reengaged and she sprinted towards the exit as Dash distracted Shadow Dancer and Stormchaser. She rounded the corner and leapt out into the open air, the sound of hooves striking flesh echoing behind her. Fluttershy flew as fast as she could back to her dorm room while tears steamed down her face before being whipped away by the wind. As she reached her room, she hurled the door shut and locked it. In the sudden stillness of the room, Fluttershy’s emotions finally overwhelmed her and she fell to the floor sobbing uncontrollably. Several minutes later, an urgent knock sounded at the door, sending Fluttershy scrambling across the room to hide behind her desk.
“Open up, ‘Shy. It’s me.” Dash’s voice floated through the door. Fluttershy bounded across the room, throwing the door open. She froze in shock at the sight that greeted her. Rainbow leaned heavily against the door frame, her breath ragged and pained. One of her eyes was swollen shut and a trail of blood dripped from her mouth. “Hey...” Rainbow wheezed.
“Sweet Celestia, Dash. We have to get you to the nurse.” Fluttershy grabbed a nearby cloth to wipe the blood away from Dash’s mouth. Rainbow pushed her away as she trudged into the room.
“No time.” Dash panted. “We gotta get outta here, now. Grab whatever you can carry. I figure we’ve got about five minutes before somepony shows up looking for us.” She hobbled around the room, grabbing various items and throwing them in her saddlebag.
“Leave?” Fluttershy asked. “Why do we need to leave? We didn’t do anything wrong. We need to go tell somepony about what Thunderlane tried to do.” Fluttershy tried to argue, but eventually started packing her own saddlebag.
“Tell who, Flutters?” Dash stopped and hung her head. “Did you forget who the Principal of the school is? It’s Thunderlane’s dad. We would never get a fair chance. Our best bet is to lay low for a while, somewhere other than here.”
“Regardless, you need medical help.” Fluttershy tried to sound determined, but the look of worry on her face betrayed her. “If you won’t go to the nurse here, we should head to the Ponyville Hospital.”
Dash looked ready to argue, but jumped at a pain in her side. “Fine, we can hit the hospital. Stormchaser got in a good kick, and I think he cracked a rib.” She prodded at her side experimentally and gasped in pain. “Yep, something definitely broke.” Fluttershy bit her lip to hide her concern. The two pegasi quickly packed up anything they could carry from their room and left the Flight School for Ponyville, never to return.
*
During the story, Rainbow Dash cuddled up next to Fluttershy, laying her head on on the pink-maned pony’s shoulder as silent tears streaked down her face. The couple held hooves for comfort, their tea sitting untouched on the table. Twilight and Rarity sat across the table, their faces showed mixtures of shock, horror and disgust. Silence billowed through the room once Fluttershy finished her story.
“I’m so sorry.” Twilight broke the silence. “We... we had no idea.”
“Of course not.” Dash muttered, she wiped a hoof across her nose. “Once we got to Ponyville we agreed never to talk about it again. We figured we would never see Thunderlane again, so we just tried to forget about it.”
Fluttershy gave a short, humorless laugh. “A lot of good that did. Ten years of blackouts and one failed suicide attempt later, and one day he just shows up out of the blue.” Dash cringed at the mention of the years of torment Fluttershy had endured alone. She nestled deeper into the gentle pegasus’ mane.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone, ‘Shy.” Rainbow apologized. “I wish you would have told me about everything that was happening. I would have tried to help you with it.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about it, Dashie.” Fluttershy leaned down and kissed Dash on the forehead. “It was my choice to bear it alone.”
“Be that as it may, dear.” Rarity finally spoke up after she took a sip of her tea. “We need to decide what to do about Thunderlane’s appearance here in Ponyville. Is it possible that after all these years he has let go of what happened back then?” She waved a hoof dismissively. “Ten years seems an excessively long time to hold a grudge about something that happened in school.”
“No.” Fluttershy shivered. “He had the same look when I saw him today as he did back then.” She nuzzled the top of Dash’s head. “I don’t know if he could have done anything out in broad daylight, but he still hates Dash and me. I think that it would be best if the two of us hide out at my house for now. It’s far enough away from Ponyville that he shouldn’t look for us there.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” Twilight had her trademark over-analytical look. “I could try writing to the Princess to see if she can do anything.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dash jumped up. “I don’t think we need to bring Princess Celestia in on this one. I think if we just lay low for a few days he’ll give up looking for us. Worst case scenario, we can just go to the Ponyville Police instead of the Princess.”
“Yea.” Twilight rubbed a hoof along the back of her neck. “I guess involving Princess Celestia would be overkill.”
“Just a little bit.” Dash trotted over to the boutique’s front windows. “I don’t see him anywhere. Wanna head over to your cottage now, ‘Shy? The coast is clear.”
“Sure, Dashie.” Fluttershy got up and walked towards the door. She called back to Twilight and Rarity. “Sorry for ruining your attempt to find out about our date from Dash. Once this whole Thunderlane thing blows over we’ll come by and let you know all about it.”
“Be careful out there, darling.” Rarity warned. “Please don’t hesitate to come to any of us if you need help dealing with this brute. I’m sure Applejack would be delighted to teach him a lesson or two about trying to harm her friends.” Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash left the boutique and took to the air. They angled towards Fluttershy’s cottage when a voice sounded from above them.
“There you are!” Thunderlane appeared from behind a cloud and dove towards the couple.
“Oh, yea. He can fly.” Dash deadpanned.
Sweet Apple Acres. Fluttershy’s mind interrupted. Big Mac could pound Thunderlane's rump into the dirt.
Really? You choose now to start being helpful? Fluttershy turned to Dash and told her the plan. “Sweet Apple Acres. Big Mac will help us.” Dash nodded and the pair shot off in the direction of the Apple family’s farm.
“Oh no you don’t.” Thunderlane yelled as he changed direction to follow them. “This time nopony will show up to save you two.” He beat his wings, slowly closing the distance. Sweet Apple Acres appeared in the distance, rapidly approaching as the three pegasi raced towards it.
Rainbow spared a glance back and saw that Thunderlane had almost caught up to Fluttershy. She pulled up into a tight loop and dropped to land hard on Thunderlane’s back. He grunted in pain and temporarily lost control of his flying, dropping back and veering off to the side. Dash and Fluttershy landed on the ground just outside the Apple family’s farm house as Applebloom ran out to greet them.
“Hey there Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash. What brings y’all out to the farm?” She asked.
“Quick Applebloom, where’s Big Mac?” Dash looked back over her shoulder for any sign of Thunderlane.
“Mac?” Applebloom cocked her head to the side. “He took the first train this mornin’ out to Appleloosa. Said he needed some time away from the farm.”
“Appleloosa?” Fluttershy gasped. “Oh, no. Then where’s Applejack?”
“AJ’s out in the east field. Do ya need me to go get her?”
“Yes, as fast as you can.” Dash looked out towards the eastern fields of the farm and back in the direction they had come from. Applebloom took off towards the field Applejack was tending to as Thunderlane flew over the trees and landed in front of Rainbow Dash.
“That wasn’t very nice, Rainbow Crash.” He panted. “I’m gonna make you pay for that, then I’m gonna have some fun with little Fluttercry over there.” Thunderlane shot a cruel smile towards Fluttershy, who cowered backwards.
“The hay you are.” Dash growled. “I’ll kill you if you try to touch her.”
“Ooh, getting defensive are we?” Thunderlane chuckled. “I guess we were all right about you two back then. That will make this all the more fun.” He slowly circled around Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash like a predator circling a potential meal.
“I just have one question before I pound your pathetic rump into the dirt.” Dash took up a defensive position between Fluttershy and Thunderlane. “Why? It’s been ten years. Why do you still care about what happened back then?”
“Why?” Thunderlane sneered, his face contorted into an ugly glare. “After your little stunt in the locker room, our lives became hell at school. Stormchaser, Shadow Dancer and I were the three biggest, baddest colts in school, and all three of us were taken down by scrawny little Rainbow Crash? We were laughing stocks.”
“Oh boo hoo.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Finally got a taste of your own medicine and couldn’t take it?” Thunderlane huffed angrily and charged at Dash, who leapt out of the way and readied herself to fight.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy hid near a barrel of apples, unable to bring herself to move while she argued with herself.
Dashie needs my help, I have to do something.
Are you insane? Her mind fought back. Thunderlane would tear you apart and barely break a sweat doing it.
I can’t just sit here. Fluttershy felt a dreaded tightness grip her chest. He’s too big and strong for Dash to take on alone.
Okay, and what makes you think that you’ll be able to make a difference in a fight?
I have to at least try. The edges of her vision darkened. Distantly, she could hear the sound of hooves hitting flesh along with both Thunderlane and Rainbow Dash grunting in pain.
I thought we got over this whole wanting to die thing. Her mind argued. That’s what will happen if you try to fight Thunderlane. He will kill you.
Maybe some things are worth dying for. Fluttershy shot back. She fought to press through the symptoms of her impending blackout, knowing that falling unconscious now would be disastrous.
Once again, a single sound cut through the pressing darkness. A sickening crack, followed by a horrific scream.
Fluttershy was immediately aware of her surroundings again. Thunderlane stood triumphantly across the yard. Laying on the ground nearby, Rainbow Dash clutched at her side in obvious pain. Both ponies were beaten and bloody, but Dash had taken a significantly worse thrashing.
“Get the buck away from her, you coltcuddler!” Fluttershy screamed, standing up from behind the barrel. A blazing fury sprang up in her chest, blocking out all other thoughts.
“Finally decided to join in, huh?” Thunderlane turned to face her. “Too bad it won’t make a difference now. I’ve already taken care of your little marefriend here. Now, it’s your turn.” He reached back and kicked Dash, eliciting another terrible scream of pain. Something snapped in Fluttershy’s mind at the sound of Dash’s pained scream. The fury in her chest died instantly, replaced with a cold, calculating hatred. She wracked her brain for any possible advantage she could have over Thunderlane. Her mind flashed back to her conversation with Twilight after her failed suicide attempt.
“It was always simple enough. Over the years, I’ve learned everything there is to know about animal anatomy and physiology. I know where all the major blood vessels are. There’s one located just below the skin right here.” She pointed to a spot just above her hoof on her foreleg. “One little slice, nick the vein, and you’ll bleed out in around five minutes. It could easily be disguised as an accident, something that happened while chopping up vegetables.”
Oh, wonderful. Her internal voice shot back. Now, if we can just convince him to wait patiently while we rummage around the Apple family’s kitchen for a knife.
Those aren’t the only major blood vessels just below the skin. Fluttershy thought as a plan formed in her head.
I still don’t see how... the carotids. Her mind finally picked up on the plan.
Exactly, the carotid arteries run just below the skin on either side of the neck. She confirmed. Apply a little pressure and you can cut off blood flow to the brain, leading to unconsciousness in seconds. Now, I just have to get close enough...
As if on cue, Thunderlane slowly advanced on her. Fluttershy cowered down, a look of terror spreading across her features. When he reached the cringing mare, he raised a hoof to strike, but paused momentarily to savor the moment.
“Idiot.” Fluttershy muttered, a wicked grin replaced her feigned expression of fear. She vaulted into the air, arching her back to swing her hind legs forward. Her hooves struck Thunderlane directly in the muzzle and caused a satisfying crack as his jaw bone shattered under the impact. Still in the air, Fluttershy flared her wings and flapped them once, sending her forward over Thunderlane’s head as he stumbled from the kick. She landed on his shoulders and wrapped her hind legs around his neck, locking her hooves together.
Now, for the pièce de résistance. She thought to herself. Fluttershy flexed her hind legs, pressing them into Thunderlane’s neck and squeezing the carotid arteries shut.
Thunderlane panicked and began trying to shake Fluttershy loose. She wrapped her forelegs around his abdomen to hold on. The seconds dragged on, and Thunderlane’s movements grew increasingly uncoordinated as his brain was starved for oxygen.
Five seconds will put him to sleep. Fluttershy’s mind burst in. Fifteen seconds and he’ll never wake up.
Kill him? Fluttershy was shocked at the suggestion. Beneath her, Thunderlane fell to his knees on the verge of passing out. I... I couldn’t possibly kill him.
Really? The voice shot back. Just look at what he did to Dash. You know full well he would have killed her without hesitation if you hadn’t stepped in.
He... you’re right, he would have. She looked over to Dash, who was doubled over in pain. I can’t kill him though, if I do that makes me no better than him.
One of these days, your kindness is going to cost you something that you’re not willing to pay.
Fluttershy’s concentration broke as Thunderlane fell to the dirt, unconscious. She unhooked her legs from around his neck and ran over to Rainbow. At the same time, Applejack and Applebloom rounded a bend in the road. Both of them froze as they surveyed the scene in front of them.
“Fluttershy! What the hay is goin’- What happened to Dash?” Applejack galloped over to the injured pegasus. She called back to her sister. “AB, ya get in the house right now and stay there until Ah come and get ya.” For once Applebloom obeyed her sister without question.
“Applejack, we don’t have a lot of time.” Fluttershy explained as she surveyed Dash’s injuries. “I need to get Dash to the hospital right now. I need you to grab some rope and tie him up.” Her voice filled with venom as she pointed to Thunderlane’s comatose form. “If you can, I need you to get him to the Ponyville Police Department. They can hold on to him until Dash is taken care of.”
“The police?” Applejack glanced doubtfully towards Thunderlane. “No offense ‘Shy, but Ah’m gonna need a bit more information before I start hogtyin’ random ponies and draggin’ ‘em to the police.”
“He tried to kill Rainbow Dash just now.” Fluttershy spat. She gently picked Dash up, trying her best not to aggravate any of her wounds. At some point, Rainbow had fallen unconscious.
“Did he now?” Applejack’s voice suddenly had a menacing tone. “Ya sure ya want me to take him to the police? Ah got some nice, isolated spots out in the forest where we could dump a body if’n we need to.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No, take him to the police, they’ll deal with him for now.” She took off and hovered a few feet above the ground. “I need to get to the hospital. Once you drop him off go tell everypony what happened.” Without waiting for a response, she accelerated towards the Ponyville Hospital, flying as fast as she could.
*
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Twilight arrived at the hospital while Dash was in the Operating Room, undergoing treatment for her injuries. They joined Fluttershy in the waiting room. With nothing to do but wait, the adrenaline from earlier in the day finally bled away from Fluttershy. The reality of the situation crashed over her and she broke down crying while her friends tried to reassure her. After two excruciating hours, a unicorn doctor entered the waiting room.
“Miss Fluttershy, is it?” He glanced at the assembled friends. “You’re here with Miss Dash, correct?” Fluttershy nodded, unable to speak. The doctor continued. “My name is Doctor Stable. I’m happy to inform you that Miss Dash is stable and should make a full recovery. Her injuries were rather severe, but thanks to your quick decision to get her here, she’ll be fine.”
“Thank the goddesses.” Rarity offered. A collective sigh of relief passed among the group.
“C- can we see her?” Fluttershy asked as fresh tears welled in her eyes.
“Well, let me see.” Doctor Stable levitated Dash’s chart and flipped through it. “She’s still in fairly bad shape. I wouldn’t want to overwhelm her, you can go back one at a time. She’s in Room 213.” The doctor turned to leave. “I’m sorry, but I need to see to another patient.”
“Thank ya kindly, doc.” Applejack responded. “Well, Ah think the answer here is obvious. ‘Shy, you can go in and stay with Dash. It’s gettin’ late and Ah think the rest o’ us need to be gettin’ home anyway.” The other three ponies nodded in agreement and made their way towards the exit. Applejack called back. “Tell Dash we’ll be by tomorrow to see her.”
“I will girls, thank you.” Fluttershy made her way down to Room 213. She entered the room and pushed a chair next to the bed where Rainbow appeared to be sleeping. She pulled herself up into the chair and examined Dash’s injuries. The swelling around her eye had reduced and bandages covered most of her body. “Oh Dashie. I’m so sorry this happened to you. If only I hadn’t been so scared, if I had acted sooner... I could have helped you.” She dropped her head as a new wave of self-loathing threatened to overwhelm her.
“D- don’t beat yourself up about it, Flutters.” Dash’s eyes slowly opened. “This isn’t anywhere near the worst beating I’ve taken. One time in school-” She stopped as her body was wracked by a fit of coughing, leaving a pained expression on her face and flecks of blood dotting her lips. “It’s just a shame the old doctor I used to see back then isn’t here anymore. He could have patched me up in a jiffy and had me walkin’ outta here tomorrow.”
Their conversation was interrupted as the door opened and a nurse entered the room. “Good evening Miss Dash, I’m Nurse Redheart and I’ll be taking care of you this evening.” She stopped as she saw Fluttershy sitting by the bed. “I’m sorry miss, but visiting hours are over. I’m going to have to ask you to leave, family only.”
“Oh, she is family.” Dash replied, grabbing Fluttershy’s hoof.
“Is she now?” Nurse Redheart raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. “Whatever you say, Miss Dash.” She picked up Rainbow’s chart. “How are you doing in terms of pain? You suffered three broken ribs and a torn ligament in your left rear leg. On a scale of one to ten how bad would you say your pain is?”
“Probably about a five or six.” Dash shifted uncomfortably. “It’s not that bad if I don’t move, but anytime I change positions it gets worse.”
“All right.” Nurse Redheart walked over to the IV machine hooked up to Rainbow’s left foreleg and hit a couple buttons. “That should help. Give it a minute to kick in and you’ll feel better. I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you.” She left and closed the door.
“So what happened back at the farm, ‘Shy?” Dash asked. “I remember seeing Thunderlane headed towards you... but then nothing until I woke up here.”
“Oh, well you see...” Fluttershy looked around nervously. “I kind of kicked him in the face, broke his jaw and then choked him out until he was unconscious. Then Applejack tied him up and took him down to the Ponyville Police station.”
“Oh, that's-” Dash froze. “Wait, you what?” Her curiosity faded as she yawned and nestled deeper into the bed. “Man, these painkillers are good. I think I might need to take another nap soon.”
“That’s fine.” Fluttershy giggled. “You had a rough day, get all the rest you need.”
Dash reached out and grabbed Fluttershy’s hoof again as her eyes slid shut. “Prom... promise you won’t leave me?” Fluttershy leaned over and kissed Rainbow on the forehead.
“I promise.”
*
One month later
The door to Sugarcube Corner opened, causing the bell above the door to ring. Fluttershy walked backwards into the store, leading a blindfolded Rainbow Dash by the hoof. Dash warily put each hoof in front of the last one as she made her way into the bakery.
“What’s this all about, ‘Shy?” Rainbow asked. “This had better not end like the last time I let you put a blindfold on me. I had to wear that stupid scarf from Rarity’s for a week to hide the-”
“Dash!” Fluttershy interrupted. “If you haven’t noticed, we’re in public.”
“So?” Dash shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s not like that’s ever stopped you before... I would wink at this point but my eyes are covered.”
“Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy cried as traces of color flooded her cheeks. “You really need to learn to stop running your mouth sometimes.”
“Really?” Dash grinned. “That’s not what you were saying last night.”
“Rainbow Elizabeth Dash!” Fluttershy yelled as her cheeks turned crimson.
“Ugh.” Dash cringed. “You know I hate it when you use my middle name.”
“Wait, Dash has a middle name?” Twilight’s voice floated over from across the bakery.
“And it’s Elizabeth?” Applejack added with a barely suppressed laugh.
“What the bu-” Dash reached up and ripped off the blindfold. Her curse died in her throat as she came face to face with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. She looked around Sugarcube Corner and saw the rest of her friends standing on the far side of the room. Everypony was staring at her with beaming grins.
“Fluttershy, what in the name of Celestia’s almighty flank is going on here?” Dash stared around the room in horror.
“Hmm... I’ve never heard that one before.” A heavenly voice sounded from Dash’s left. She whirled around and found herself staring up at Princess Celestia herself with Princess Luna giggling into a crystal-shod hoof next to her.
Rainbow slammed her hoof into her face. “You have got to be kidding me.” She moaned. “I did not just say that in front of the Princess.”
“It’s quite alright.” Celestia waved a hoof dismissively. “I often wish that everypony would be more frank with me. Besides, I believe that a certain somepony wants your attention.” She pointed a hoof over Dash’s shoulder. Rainbow turned to see Fluttershy standing in the middle of the room, beckoning her over. She trotted over the middle of the room and stood across from her marefriend.
“Um... y- you see.” Fluttershy stammered as she shifted nervously from hoof to hoof. She paused and took a deep breath. “I asked everypony to come here today, because I have something I need to ask you, Dashie.” She reached out and took one of Rainbow’s hooves in her own. “Something important, and I wanted all of our friends to be here for it.”
“You...” Dash began. Her eyes shot open as she started to put the pieces together. “Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!”
Fluttershy snickered at Dash’s reaction. She quickly composed herself and continued her preplanned speech. “Rainbow, we’ve been best friends for fifteen years now. Recently, we’ve been able to become more than friends, and this past month has been the best time of my life. I just have one thing to ask you.” She somewhat awkwardly maneuvered herself down to one knee.
“Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!” Dash’s chant rose in pitch.
“Rainbow Elizabeth Dash...” Fluttershy looked up into Rainbow’s eyes as tears formed in her own. “Will you marry me?”
Dash tackled Fluttershy to the ground, squeezing her in a vice-like hug. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” She cried as tears of joy sprang from her eyes. “A million times yes!” The room erupted in a thunderous explosion of cheers. Several minutes passed with celebratory hugs and tears of happiness. Eventually Dash composed herself enough to ask a question.
“Hey, ‘Shy.” Rainbow nuzzled her head into Fluttershy’s neck. “I can’t help but notice a certain lack of hardware.” She pointed to her left forehoof.
“Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “I just proposed to you, and you’re worried about the bling.” She heaved an exasperated sigh. “If you must know, I’m getting us... special rings. They won’t be ready until the wedding, so they’ll be a surprise.”
“What a shame.” Dash waved her empty hoof and intimidated Rarity’s voice. “However will all the single stallions in town know that I’m taken? This is the worst. Possible. Thing.” She fell to the floor in faked distress. Everypony in the room laughed at the imitation, except Rarity who could be heard grumbling about how she simply did not sound like that.
“If that’s what you’re worried about.” Fluttershy slowly sauntered over to Dash, a predatory smile spreading across her face. “I’m sure I could find some other way to let everypony know you’re taken.”
Rainbow immediately sat up and stared at the floor, her cheeks flushing a light pink. “That’s okay.” She muttered. Pinkie Pie took advantage of the momentary break in the action to wheel out her Party Cannon.
“All right, everypony.” She proclaimed. “Let’s get this party started!”
Fluttershy’s heart was racing. The thundering of her hear beat crashed in her ears as she tried to take deep, calming breaths. She ran her hooves down her dress, flattening out non-existent wrinkles in the silk. Her pitiful attempt at meditation was interrupted as the door to the room opened and a certain purple unicorn poked her head in.
“How are you doing in here Fluttershy?” Twilight asked. “It’s almost time to go out there. Not to worry you too much, but I just peeked into the main hall and there are an awful lot of ponies in there.”
“I know.” Fluttershy responded as she ran her hooves over her dress again. “I just looked out there too. Now I’m having a minor panic attack.” She concentrated on making her breathing deep and even. “I haven’t been out in front of this many ponies since I quit being a model.”
“Uh oh.” Twilight smirked. “Somepony’s not getting cold hooves are they?” Fluttershy looked back and shot her a confident smile.
“Not on your life, Twilight.”
*
The music of the Royal Canterlot Symphony floated through the ornate archway leading into the main hall of the Canterlot castle as Fluttershy approached it. She could see dozens, if not hundreds, of stallions and mares in the main hall, causing her recently slowed pulse to rapidly accelerate again. She fixed her eyes on the far end of the hall, focusing on the one mare in the room that made the whole spectacle worth it.
Rainbow Dash stood at the end of the hall, dressed up for what could only have been the third or fourth time in her life. She wore a Rarity-designed dress that had been altered to more closely resemble a gentlecolt’s suit. The base fabric was a deep navy blue silk, accented with electric yellow accessories to give the ensemble a distinctly Wonderbolts-esque feeling. Dash shifted her gaze down the aisle of the hall and finally noticed Fluttershy’s approach. Both mares felt impossibly large grins spread across their faces at the sight of the other.
Every portion of Fluttershy’s body and mind ached to gallop down the aisle and race to Dash’s side, but she forced herself to keep an even, measured pace as she walked the length of the hall. She felt the stares from hundreds of eyes pressing in on her, but for once Fluttershy did not care what anypony else thought of her. As she reached the end of the hall and took her place at Dash’s side, Princess Celestia flared her wings from her place atop the nearby dais.
“Mares and Gentlecolts.” Celestia began. “We are gathered here today to bear witness to the union of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy in marriage.”
“You look amazing, ‘Shy.” Dash whispered.
“T- thanks.” A blush crept into Fluttershy’s cheeks, hidden by expertly applied makeup courtesy of Rarity.
“Now for the vows.” Celestia continued. “Rainbow Dash, do you take Fluttershy as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, for all the days of your life?”
“Sickness? Poorer? Worse?” Dash put a hoof to her chin. “Is there any way we can just get health, richer and better?” A wave of chuckles passed among the assembled ponies and Fluttershy shot a glare at Rainbow, offset by the wry smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
“All right, all right.” Dash conceded. “I do.”
“Fluttershy,” Celestia turned slightly. “Do you take Rainbow Dash as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, for all the days of your life?”
“I do.” Fluttershy replied, her voice confident and carrying over the crowd.
“Does the best mare have the rings?” The Princess turned to face Applejack, Rainbow Dash’s best mare. She removed her trademark hat, which she had been allowed to wear despite strenuous objections from Rarity, and produced two lovingly hoofcrafted wedding rings. Attached to each ring was a single feather taken from the other pegasus, allowing each mare to carry a small part of their partner with them at all times.
Princess Celestia grasped the rings with her magic and floated them over to the couple. Each pegasus extended their left wing and the Princess magically bound the rings among the primaries. When the spell was complete, each mare had one mismatched feather in their wing attached to the small gold ring. The magic of the spell allowed the feather to move and act like the rest of the natural feathers. Both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash took a moment to examine their own wing and their partner’s before folding their wings back to their sides.
“It is my great pleasure to pronounce you mare and wife.” Celestia beamed at the couple. “You may kiss the bride.” Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash leaned in for a brief kiss that they had agreed upon earlier despite Dash’s inclination for a more passionate show of affection. The hall erupted into a cacophonous uproar of cheering. The floor of the grand room quaked slightly under the sudden stampede of pounding hooves as everypony present sounded their approval. The newly married couple cantered their way down the aisle and headed towards the reception, planned and catered by Pinkie Pie of course.
The reception area was decorated with streamers and balloons of every color, typical of every Pinkie Pie party. However, every eye was drawn to the center of the room, where the wedding cake towered over everything else. The sugary monstrosity stood ten layers tall, each layer raised above the lower one by three-inch risers. At the very top of the cake, barely visible from ground level, were two hoofcrafted cake toppers resembling Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.
“How did you even make this thing, Pinkie?” Dash stared up at the cake with a mixture of awe and hunger.
“I’m curious about that too.” Twilight added. “Not to put a damper on the festivities, but this cake seems to be defying at least three laws of physics by even existing, much less staying upright.”
“Oh, you silly fillies.” Pinkie Pie patted Twilight on the head. “You think too hard. It’s just a cake. Stop thinking and just eat it.” She took her own advice and hopped over to the cake. She opened her mouth impossibly wide and moved to take a bite before Applejack pulled her away.
“Hold on there, sugarcube.” Applejack reeled in the excitable party pony. “This here is ‘Shy and Dash’s weddin’, so they get to cut the cake.” Fluttershy and Dash trotted up to the cake and cut two small bites. They went to feed the cake to each other, but at the last second Fluttershy smeared the cake along Dash’s muzzle.
“I’m gonna get ya for that.” Dash narrowed her eyes in fake anger.
“I’d like to see you try.” Fluttershy responded. Together, they turned and headed for an empty portion of the room as several unicorn waiters began cutting the cake for the guests. Immediately, a line of guests formed near the couple, wanting to give their congratulations. After they spoke and shook hooves with what seemed like every pony they had ever met, Dash spotted a certain elderly mare headed towards them.
“Head’s up, ‘Shy.” Dash whispered. “Here comes Granny Smith.” Over the six months between their engagement and the wedding, Fluttershy and Rainbow had made sure to try and hide their relationship from Granny Smith, afraid of her potential reaction.
“Well, this here is sure one humdinger of a party.” The elder pony exclaimed as she reached the couple. “Ah sure am mighty happy fer y’all. Why Ah’m happier than pig in a mud hole.”
“Wait, so you’re cool with me and ‘Shy together?” Dash asked with a slight air of disbelief. “It doesn’t matter to ya that we’re both mares? We thought ya might be against that sorta thing.”
“Oh, ponyfeathers.” Granny Smith retorted. “That don’t matter none.” She jabbed a hoof at Dash’s chest. “The way Ah see it is that if ya find somepony that ya love, ya gotta hold on tight and never let ‘em go.”
“Thank you, Granny Smith. That means a lot to us.” Fluttershy smiled and turned to Dash. “Although, it’s too late for Dash to back out now.” She extended her wing and revealed the single light blue feather among the canary yellow. “She’s stuck with me now.” Fluttershy stuck out her tongue at Rainbow.
“I prefer to think of it as you who's stuck with me.” Dash flared her own wing to show the swapped feather.
“Well aren’t you two just cuter than kittens in a box.” Granny Smith turned to eye a group of stallions across the room. “Now, if’n you’ll excuse me, Ah see a couple nice lookin’ gentlecolts over there and Ah need to see if Ah can convince one of ‘em to make a pass at Applejack. That filly needs to learn that there’s more to life than the farm.”
“Good luck with that.” Dash rolled her eyes as Granny Smith waddled over to the stallions.
“Good luck to whom with what, exactly?” Rarity trotted over to stand by Fluttershy and Dash.
“Oh, Granny Smith is going to talk to that group of stallions over there.” Fluttershy pointed out the group with a hoof. “She’s going to try and convince one of them to try and ask Applejack out.”
“Hmph.” Rarity turned her nose up. “Well that endeavor is doomed to failure. I have it on good authority that they are simply not attracted to mares.”
“They shot ya down, huh?” Dash patted Rarity on the back before she stormed away.
“That wasn’t very nice, Dashie.” Fluttershy tried to scold her new wife, but could not hold in a smile.
“Come on, you know the first thing Rarity did as soon as she got here was scope out the single stallions and make a pass or two.” Dash gazed longingly towards the slowly shrinking wedding cake at the center of the room. “I bet she hasn’t even had any of that delicious cake yet.”
“Well, it is our cake.” Fluttershy looked on as the seventh of the ten layers was magically removed to be cut and eaten. “I suppose it is only fair that we go get a piece.”
“My thoughts exactly.” Dash galloped off in the direction of the cake.
“Hey there Fluttershy.” Twilight cantered over to fill Rainbow’s recently vacated spot. “Where’s the other mare of the hour? Wait, let me guess... cake?” Fluttershy simply smiled and nodded.
“I should have figured.” Twilight rolled her eyes. She shifted her hooves nervously and looked around briefly. “Say, Fluttershy... I’ve been meaning to ask you something. I’m really, really sorry I have to bring this up today, but I have to stay here in Canterlot for a while and I know you and Dash are leaving tonight to go to Las Pegasus for your honeymoon.”
Fluttershy raised a hoof to stop Twilight’s rambling. “It’s alright. What’s on your mind?”
“Well...” Twilight scratched the back of her neck with a hoof. “It’s about... Thunderlane. I never heard about what happened to him after the incident at the farm. I know he was put on trial and that you and Dash had to give sworn statements to the police, but I don’t know what the outcome was.”
“Oh, is that all?” Fluttershy smiled reassuringly. “The trial actually just finished last week. Thunderlane was convicted on one count of attempted ponycide and two counts of aggravated assault. The judge sentenced him to seven years in prison.”
“Wow.” Twilight’s mouth hung open slightly at the news. “That’s... good? I guess?”
Fluttershy shrugged. “I honestly don’t care anymore. He took almost fifteen years of my life from me, I’m not letting him have another second.” She looked over to the main table where Dash was enjoying a piece of cake in each hoof. “All I know is now I’ve got Dashie, and that’s all I need. What happened back then is the past, and that’s where I intend to leave it.”
Twilight reached forward and pulled Fluttershy into a hug. “I’m so happy for both of you. You two really do make a cute couple.” She released the embrace and stepped back. “I have to go find Applejack and Pinkie and let them know I won’t be heading back to Ponyville with them. Enjoy the reception and your honeymoon.”
Don’t worry, I plan to. Fluttershy thought to herself. She would never vocalize such a thought to anyone but Dash, but she still liked to make slightly inappropriate comments in her head. Her mind was blissfully silent in return, just as it had been for the past seven months. In addition to the voice’s absence, she had not had a blackout since the events at Sweet Apple Acres. The mocking internal voice had never resurfaced after it’s ominous parting comment during the fight with Thunderlane.
One of these days, your kindness is going to cost you something that you’re not willing to pay.
Fluttershy smiled as she gazed out over the reception. Ultimately, her mind’s warning had been an empty threat. She looked back on how much her life had changed over the past seven months. She had finally admitted to herself that she had feelings for Rainbow Dash, only to have Dash return those same feelings. She had managed to confront her past, both figuratively and literally, with the help of Dash and the rest of her friends. Last, but certainly not least, she had proposed to and married the love of her life.
For the first time since she started Flight School, Fluttershy felt truly happy.
(Author's note: This is an alternate ending for The Walls Came Tumbling Down. Chronologically, this ending picks up at the tail end of Fluttershy's fight with Thunderlane in Chapter nine. As a result the first seven or so paragraphs will be identical to the end of chapter nine, but after that they will be very different. I should note that this alternate ending deserves a Tragedy tag, but you can't tag individual chapters. Without further ado, I present to you...)
The Walls Came Tumbling Down
Alternate Ending: Part One
The Cost of Kindness
One of these days, your kindness is going to cost you something that you’re not willing to pay.
Fluttershy’s concentration broke as Thunderlane fell to the dirt, unconscious. She unhooked her legs from around his neck and ran over to Rainbow. At the same time, Applejack and Applebloom rounded a bend in the road. Both of them froze as they surveyed the scene in front of them.
“Fluttershy! What the hay is goin’- What happened to Dash?” Applejack galloped over to the injured pegasus. She called back to her sister. “AB, ya get in the house right now and stay there until Ah come and get ya.” For once Applebloom obeyed her sister without question.
“Applejack, we don’t have a lot of time.” Fluttershy explained as she surveyed Dash’s injuries. “I need to get Dash to the hospital right now. I need you to grab some rope and tie him up.” Her voice filled with venom as she pointed to Thunderlane’s comatose form. “If you can, I need you to get him to the Ponyville Police Department. They can hold on to him until Dash is taken care of.”
“The police?” Applejack glanced doubtfully towards Thunderlane. “No offense ‘Shy, but Ah’m gonna need a bit more information before I start hogtyin’ random ponies and draggin’ ‘em to the police.”
“He tried to kill Rainbow Dash just now.” Fluttershy spat. She gently picked Dash up, trying her best not to aggravate any of her wounds. At some point, Rainbow had fallen unconscious.
“Did he now?” Applejack’s voice suddenly had a menacing tone. “Ya sure ya want me to take him to the police? Ah got some nice, isolated spots out in the forest where we could dump a body if’n we need to.”
Fluttershy toyed with the idea. After everything he’s done, he certainly deserves it. She thought to herself, but her mind was oddly quiet in response. Ultimately, she shook her head. “No, take him to the police, they’ll deal with him for now.” She took off and hovered a few feet above the ground. “I need to get to the hospital. Once you drop him off go tell everypony what happened.” Without waiting for a response, she accelerated towards the Ponyville Hospital, flying as fast as she could.
*
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Twilight arrived at the hospital while Dash was in the Operating Room, undergoing treatment for her injuries. They joined Fluttershy in the waiting room. With nothing to do but wait, the adrenaline from earlier in the day finally bled away from Fluttershy. The reality of the situation crashed over her and she broke down crying while her friends tried to reassure her. After two excruciating hours, a unicorn doctor entered the waiting room, his badge read “Doctor Stable.”
“Miss Fluttershy, is it?” The doctor glanced over the assembled friends. “You’re the one that brought Miss Dash in, correct?” Fluttershy only nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Doctor Stable dropped his head slightly. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but... Miss Dash is still in critical condition. We’ve done everything we can for her, all we can do now is wait.”
Time stood still. The silence in the waiting room was deafening. Five pairs of eyes turned to study Fluttershy. Her heart stood still in her chest. Her mind refused to function. The doctors words echoed in her head. Still in critical condition. All we can do now is wait. Tears rose in her eyes as possible scenarios played out in her head, each worse than the last.
“No...” Fluttershy whispered. “She... she’ll be fine.” Her words sounded as if she were trying to convince herself. “Dash has been hurt worse than this and she’s always bounced back.” She tried to smile, but her lower lip quivered.
“Do ya think we could go back and see ‘er, doc?” Applejack removed her hat and held it against her chest. Every member of the assembled friends hung on the doctor’s next words.
“I don’t know...” Doctor Stable held up Dash’s chart and glanced over it. “She’s in bad shape, and I don’t even know if she’s awake. She was unconscious when she got here and we put her under anesthesia for the procedure.” He lowered the chart and looked at Applejack. “To be honest, I don’t know if she’ll wake up at all. She lost a lot of blood from her injuries.”
“W- where is she?” Fluttershy suddenly felt the inexplicable need to see Dash for herself. She could not trust the doctor’s words.
“I’m sorry.” Doctor Stable began. “I can’t allow-”
Fluttershy jumped out of the chair she had been in and grabbed the doctor by the collar of his coat. “I said where is she?” She screamed in his face.
“The post-operation recovery room.” Doctor Stable sputtered. He pointed a hoof down the hallway he had come from. “That way, second door on the left.” Fluttershy let go of him and sprinted down the hallway. The five ponies left in the room could only stare after her, dumbfounded.
Fluttershy bounded into the recovery room. It was empty except for a lone bed along the far wall. Rainbow Dash lay in the bed, hooked up to several magically powered machines. Her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, giving the illusion that she was only sleeping. Fluttershy cautiously made her way across the room. The extent of Dash’s injuries became apparent as she got closer.
Dash’s left hind leg was elevated and wrapped in a cast. All of the cyan hair on the right side of her chest had been shaved away so the surgeons could operate. A single recently closed incision stretched from just below Rainbow’s shoulder all the way down to her flank. Ribbons of white gauze wound their way around her chest to keep the laceration from being exposed to the open air. A tube hooked around her ears fed pure oxygen through her nose.
Fluttershy felt tears leave warm trails down her cheeks as she stood up and placed her forehooves on the bed next to Dash. She reached up and stroked a hoof along Rainbow’s muzzle. “This is all my fault.” She stated to the empty room. “If I hadn’t been scared... If I had been able to help you... this would never have happened.” She finally lost control of her emotions and sobbed into the sheets of the bed. The only sound in the room was a machine rhythmically beeping in time with Dash’s heart. After a moment, she heard several pairs of hooves quietly enter the room.
“Hey there, ‘Shy...” Applejack laid a hoof on Fluttershy’s back. She looked over Rainbow’s injuries and tried to suppress a shudder. “Ah don’t think ya need to be seein’ this right now. ‘Sides, visitin’ hours are almost over. Ah think we all need to get home and get some sleep.”
“No!” Fluttershy pushed Applejack’s hoof away. “I can’t leave her. Not now.” She turned and looked back at Dash’s still form. “What if she wakes up? I... I have to be here if she does.”
“Fluttershy...” Twilight began. “You heard the doctor. If she does wake up, it won’t be for some time.” She stopped as Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder, shaking her head.
“It’s no use, sugarcube.” Applejack kept her voice low so only Twilight could hear her. “She’s not gonna leave.” They both turned and slowly made their way out of the room.
“Come on, Dashie.” Fluttershy begged, tears streaming down her face. “You have to wake up... you just have to.” She laid her head on the bed and felt the moisture from her eyes slowly pool below her. She could not tell how long she lay there silently crying into the sheets, but eventually she felt movement as Dash’s prone form stirred.
“Dashie?” Fluttershy sat up and roughly dabbed at her damp eyes. For the first time since arriving at the hospital, she allowed herself to feel a shred of hope. Dash stirred again and reached a hoof up to grab at her side the surgeons had operated on.
“Wh- where am I?” Rainbow’s eyes slowly opened, only to close again under the harsh lights of the hospital room. She felt along the gauze covering the sewn-up incision on her side and jumped at a sudden pain. “Ouch... that doesn’t feel good.”
“Oh, Dashie! You’re awake!” Fluttershy went to hug Rainbow but stopped partway, afraid of hurting her. “Thank the Princesses! I was afraid... afraid you would...” Fresh tears threatened to overflow her eyes.
“Heh.” Dash tried to smile, but it turned into a pained grimace. “It’ll take a lot more than... what feels like two or three broken ribs...” She looked down at her cast-encased leg. “and a broken leg to stop me.” Her eyes slid halfway closed. A fresh blood stain pooled in the bandages on her chest.
“I’m so sorry, Dash.” Fluttershy apologized. “I- if I hadn’t been so scared, I could have helped you fight Thunderlane.”
“Don’t... don’t worry about it.” Dash’s breathing grew shallower. “The... important thing is... you’re safe.” Her eyes closed all the way and her head listed slowly to the side.
“Dash?” Fluttershy placed a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder and shook her, but she did not respond. “Dashie?” Fluttershy felt her chest tighten. The machine that tracked Dash’s heart rate began to slow. She let out one final breath and the machine’s beeping was replaced with a constant high-pitched tone. A white earth pony with a red cross cutie mark burst into the room.
“We need a crash cart in here!” Nurse Redheart called out into the hall. A second earth pony nurse with a pink mane and white cross cutie mark pushed a wheeled cart into the room. Doctor Stable rushed into the room and levitated two paddles from the cart while Nurse Redheart started chest compressions on Dash’s unmoving form. Fluttershy backed away from the bed and cowered in the corner while the medical staff attended to Rainbow.
“Give me one hundred!” Doctor Stable yelled. Nurse Sweetheart rotated a dial on the cart and a low whine filled the room. “Clear!” The doctor shouted. Nurse Redheart stopped her compressions and stepped away. The paddles floated down and laid on Dash’s chest.
Ka-thoom! A dull thud sounded from the pads and Dash’s chest jumped slightly.
“No good.” Doctor Stable shook his head and raised the paddles. “Two hundred, now!” Nurse Sweetheart turned the dial further and the whine filled the room again, higher than before. Once again, the doctor lowered the paddles again. “Clear!”
Ka-THOOM! The same dull thud burst from Dash’s chest as it jumped again.
“Again! Three hundred!” Doctor Stable shouted, raising the paddles. Nurse Sweetheart turned dial further yet again. The whine from the machine on the cart climbed ever higher. The doctor lowered the paddles yet again. “Clear!”
KA-THOOM! The thud rang out and Dash’s body jumped from the bed.
“It’s no use. She’s gone.” Doctor Stable levitated the paddles back onto the cart and turned to look at a clock on the wall. “I’m calling it. Time of death: Eleven twenty.” Nurse Redheart pulled the sheet on the bed over Dash’s head and reached over to turn off the machine that had tracked her heart rate.
Fluttershy had watched the whole ordeal from her position cowering in the corner of the room. She sat frozen against the cold, white wall of the hospital room unable to move. Her mind refused to acknowledge the scene in front of her as Doctor Stable officially pronounced Rainbow Dash dead.
“No...” She whimpered to herself. “No no no no no...” She rose unsteadily to her hooves and warily made her way across the room towards the bed. Nurse Sweetheart packed up the cart and pushed it back out into the hall, followed by Nurse Redheart. For the first time since, entering the room, the doctor noticed Fluttershy’s presence.
“Hold on now, who are you?” Doctor Stable turned to question her. “Oh, miss Fluttershy, how long have you been there?”
“I...” Fluttershy felt fresh tears trailing down her face as she reached the side of the bed. “I’m Rainbow Dash’s marefriend.” She paused to sniff and wipe her nose with a hoof. “I was here when she... when she...” Her voice trailed off as a single sob escaped from her throat.
“Oh...” Doctor Stable moved to place a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “I’m terribly sorry, miss.”
“How?” Fluttershy croaked. She pulled the sheet back down from over Dash’s head. “She... she was fine a minute ago. She was awake. Talking.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you.” Doctor Stable grabbed Dash’s chart from the end of the bed in a faint aura of magic. “It was likely a combination of things. When she was brought in, she had three broken ribs, a fractured femur, and a collapsed lung. There was also massive internal bleeding.” The doctor let out a sigh and replaced the chart at the end of the bed. “In all honesty, it’s a minor miracle she survived this long. The cause of death was most likely a combination of the collapsed lung and blood loss. Alone, neither would be enough to be fatal, but together they reduced her body’s ability to carry oxygen, eventually killing her.” He finally noticed the fresh blood stain along Dash’s side. “It looks like one of her internal lacerations reopened when she woke up.”
“What about blood transfusions?” Fluttershy suppressed all emotional thought, trying to examine the situation objectively. “If she lost so much blood, couldn’t you just give her more?”
“We did.” Doctor Stable motioned to an empty blood bag hanging nearby with a tube feeding into Dash’s left foreleg. “Unfortunately, her blood type is O Negative. It’s a relatively rare blood type compared to all the others. We exhausted almost our entire supply during the surgery. That was the last bag we had here at the hospital. We sent an emergency courier to the Canterlot hospital for more, but he hasn’t made it back yet.”
“I have to know...” Fluttershy stood back from the bed and locked her gaze on Doctor Stable. “Is there anything that could have been done to save her? Could I have done anything differently that would have kept her alive?”
“I’m sorry, but no.” Doctor Stable dropped his head to stare at the floor. “We... we have grief councilors available if you need to talk to somepony about this.”
“No.” Fluttershy turned back to the bed and reached out to stroke Dash’s face. “I... I just need some time alone right now.” She felt her emotions welling up in her chest, threatening to overwhelm her.
“I understand.” The doctor turned and headed out of the room. He called back over his shoulder. “If you need anything at all, just let one of the nurses know.”
“Thank you, doctor.” Fluttershy replied. She vaguely heard the door to the room close. “You can’t be gone.” She whispered. “You can’t be. You wouldn’t leave me.” She reached out and placed a hoof on Dash’s cheek. Already Rainbow’s body was growing cool to the touch. “Come back to me, please. Don’t leave me here alone.” Fluttershy laid her head on Dash’s chest, the sound of her heart beat painfully absent.
“Come back to me.” She begged. “I love you.”
*
Two days later
A knock sounded at the door of Fluttershy’s cottage. Angel Bunny hopped to the door and pulled it open. Twilight and Applejack stood on the other side of the threshold, with Pinkie Pie and Rarity behind them.
“Hi, Angel.” Twilight looked past the rabbit into the living room. “Where’s Fluttershy?” Angel pointed to the staircase leading to the bedroom. “Thanks. Come on girls.” The four ponies walked into the house. As she passed Angel, Pinkie Pie pulled a carrot seemingly from thin air and tossed it to him.
“I’ll go get her.” Twilight trotted over to the staircase. “You guys wait here.” She climbed the staircase and made her way into the bedroom. As she entered the room, Twilight saw Fluttershy lying unmoving on the bed. For a brief moment she was terrified that Fluttershy had tried to commit suicide again and had succeeded. However, a gentle rise and fall of her chest assured Twilight that Fluttershy was still among the living.
“Hey there, Fluttershy.” Twilight walked across the room to the edge of the bed opposite her friend. “Everypony is here to see you. We’re all worried about you. Do you want to come down and talk?”
“No.” Fluttershy shot back. “I don’t want to talk, I just want to be alone.”
“Fluttershy...” Twilight reached up and placed her hooves on the bed. “You can’t just lay here forever. We all miss Dash, but she wouldn’t want to see you like this.”
“Well, she’s not here to see me, is she?” Fluttershy’s voice broke, ruining her attempt to sound cruel. New tears rose in her bloodshot eyes as she buried her head in a pillow.
“Please, just come down and talk to us for five minutes.” Twilight levitated a brush with her magic and combed Fluttershy’s disheveled mane. “After that, if you still want us to leave, we will.”
“Fine.” Fluttershy relented. She hopped down from the bed and stretched the stiffness out of her legs and wings. She heaved a deep sigh and followed Twilight out of the room and down the stairs. As she entered the living room, she saw Applejack and Rarity seated on the couch, while Pinkie Pie had flopped down on a bean bag. The normally exuberant party pony was unusually somber. Her mane lacked some of its typical bounce and her eyes appeared bloodshot. Rarity had a hoof across Applejack’s back while she spoke softly in a reassuring tone. Damp tear tracks ran down the farm pony’s cheeks. All three looked up as Twilight and Fluttershy descended the staircase.
“There ya are, ‘Shy.” Applejack wiped a hoof across her eyes and hopped off the couch. “We were all worried sick ‘bout ya.” She trotted over and pulled Fluttershy into a hug. “We ain’t seen ya for two days.”
“I’m fine everypony, really.” Fluttershy reached up and returned the hug halfheartedly.
“No, you’re not, dear.” Rarity got up from the couch as well. “None of us are.” Her hair seemed slightly off from it’s usual coiffure, and mascara ran down from her eyes. “However, sitting alone and crying in your room is not the proper way to deal with... this.” Rarity moved to stand next to Fluttershy. “We all know that you’re taking this the hardest out of all of us, but we need you to know that we’re here for you.” She threw a leg around Fluttershy and nuzzled against her neck. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
“Thank you, girls.” Fluttershy blushed slightly. “I appreciate it, I really do. I... I just need to be alone for now.” She closed her eyes as a single tear streak down her face.
“I’m sorry, but I do not believe that is the best option.” A new voice sounded from the doorway. “You need your friends now more than ever.” Everypony turned to face the door, only to be confronted with Princess Celestia standing just inside the threshold.
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight gasped. She hastened into a quick bow and the rest of the assembled friends rapidly followed suit, except Fluttershy.
“Please, rise everypony.” The princess waved a hoof. “Now is not the time for such formalities.”
“And just where have you been?” Fluttershy spat. “Where were you when Dash was hurt? Where was the almighty Princess when she was dying?” A sudden irrational anger sprang up in her chest.
“Fluttershy!” Twilight stepped back, a look of appalled shock her face.
Fluttershy galloped across the room towards Celestia. As she reached the princess, she rose up on her hind legs and began beating her hooves against Celestia’s chest. “Where we you when she needed you?” Fluttershy cried as hot tears stung at her eyes. “You’re supposed to protect us. Where were you when Dash was dying?” Slowly her hoof strikes became slower and less forceful. Celestia simply stood still and bore the attack stoically. Eventually, Fluttershy grabbed onto the golden necklace Celestia wore as her legs gave out beneath her. She hung from the necklace sobbing uncontrollably, her sudden burst of anger dissipated as quickly as it arose.
“I... I’m sorry, princess.” Fluttershy choked out between sobs. She nestled into Celestia’s chest as she cried.
“It’s quite alright, dear.” Celestia wrapped a foreleg around Fluttershy to comfort her. “Losing a loved one is a heartache I hoped that none of you would have to face for quite some time.” She stared off into the distance, a faraway look in her eyes. “It is a pain I would not wish on my worst enemy.”
“No!” Fluttershy pushed herself away from Celestia. Her face contorted in a mixture of sorrow and anger. “Don’t you dare pretend you know what I’m going through! Don’t you dare think that you know what I’m feeling!” Once again, her emotions overpowered her and Fluttershy fell to the floor crying. A stunned silence filled the room, broken only by the occasional sob. Nopony dared to be the first to speak after Fluttershy’s outburst.
“I have lived for tens of thousands of years.” Princess Celestia lowered herself to the ground. “Do you truly believe that in all that time I have never come to love another?” The ethereal glow emanating from the princess dimmed and her shimmering mane fell to rest along her neck and back. “Unfortunately, I know all too well what you are feeling right now.”
Celestia let her eyes fall to the floor as she continued. “You feel as though life is no longer worth living now that Rainbow Dash is gone. You feel as though your heart is tearing itself apart. You feel that there is a hole in your very being that will forever go unfilled. Every breath you take reminds you that Rainbow was taken from us far too early. You both dread and long for the arrival of the night, for dreams allow you an all too brief reunion with her, but the morning brings fresh pain as it reminds you that Rainbow is no longer with us.” Tears rose in Celestia’s eyes as she finished, but she quickly banished them and reasserted her usual regal demeanor. Twilight, Applejack and Rarity could only stare in awed silence. They felt as though they were trespassing on an intimate moment between Fluttershy and Celestia. Nopony noticed as Pinkie Pie quietly made her way out the back door, fresh tears overflowing from her eyes.
“I’m so sorry for yelling at you.” Fluttershy choked out between sobs. She lowered her head to rest on her hooves as a fresh round of tears poured down her cheeks. “It just hurts so much.”
“I know.” Celestia’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I also know that my words will not help, but you need to know that it will get better with time.” She reached out a gold-shod hoof to lift Fluttershy’s head, locking her eyes with Fluttershy’s own bloodshot ones. “Time heals all wounds, my dear.”
A wave of uncertainty and worry passed over Fluttershy’s features. “Does that mean I’ll forget about Dash?” She asked warily.
“Of course not.” Celestia gave her best motherly smile. “You will always have your memories of her. Nothing will change that.”
“We’re here for you as well, darling.” Rarity finally broke the silence among the three other ponies in the room. She trotted over and laid down next to Fluttershy, laying a hoof across her back. “We will do our absolute best to help you in any way we can.”
“Yer darn right we will.” Applejack confirmed. She and Twilight trotted over and piled onto Rarity and Fluttershy, pulling them into a group hug.
“Thanks, girls. That means a lot.” Fluttershy gave a weak smile.
Celestia smiled warmly at the group of friends as they tried to gently extricate themselves from a tangled pile of limbs. Her smile faded as she set to her true purpose for visiting the cottage. “Fluttershy, there is one more thing I needed to speak to you about. I had not intended to discuss this in front of everypony, but I imagine you would simply tell them later regardless.” She crossed her forehooves and took up a regal posture. “It is in regards to Thunderlane.”
“Thunderlane.” Fluttershy spat the name as if it were poisonous. “What about that sorry sack of horseapples?” Twilight, Applejack and Rarity stared in horror at Fluttershy’s unusual use of foul language.
“It is in regards to his trial and punishment.” Celestia continued, nonplussed. “Typically, he would be given a trail before a judge, with a jury to determine his guilt or innocence.” She paused for a moment. “However, in... extreme circumstances I can step in directly and supercede the traditional court trial. In this case, I alone would decide his innocence or guilt and pass down a sentence in the event that I find him guilty.”
“I don’t understand...” Fluttershy tilted her head to the side. “Why tell me all of this? Isn’t it your decision?”
“Normally, yes.” Celestia nodded slightly. “However, since it was Rainbow Dash who was killed in the attack, I am offering you the choice. If you wish it, I will step in and take over Thunderlane’s trial myself. If not, he will be given a traditional court trial.”
“I... I get to choose?” Fluttershy’s eyes shot open. She chewed on her bottom lip as she considered the issue. “With all due respect princess, that doesn’t seem entirely fair. Letting me choose when Dash was my marefriend... what would everypony say about that?”
“The only ponies who would ever know that it was you who made the decision and not me are the six of us in this room.” Celestia passed her gaze over the four other ponies in the room, but did not point out Pinkie’s mysterious absence. “To everypony else, it would appear as though I decided to oversee the trial of my own accord, likely because the victim in the case was one of the Elements of Harmony.”
“Even so, it still doesn’t seem fair.” Fluttershy lowered her eyes to the floor. She pawed at the wooden planks nervously.
“As I am sure you have learned, life is rarely fair.” Celestia countered. “It is true that having me oversee his trial would assure a guilty verdict, but do you truly want to risk a court finding him not guilty after he murdered Rainbow Dash in cold blood?” Traces of anger filtered into her voice as the princess presented her argument.
“Buck no.” A flash of hatred passed over Fluttershy’s features as she thought about Thunderlane walking out of court a free pony. “In regards to his punishment... I suppose it would be too much to ask that he take a long walk off a short pier wearing cement horseshoes?”
“An oddly specific request.” Celestia seemed undisturbed by Fluttershy’s sudden penchant for violence. “However, the death penalty would not be unheard of as a punishment for murder. An alternative sentence would be life in prison without the chance for parole.”
“Life in prison...” Fluttershy mulled the idea over in her head. “Day after day, year after year of knowing that he’ll never taste free air again.” A wicked grin pulled at the corners of her lips. “I think I like that.”
“Very well.” Celestia rose from her position on the floor. Her ethereal glow and flowing mane returned to their normal forms. “Now, if you will excuse me, I must return to Canterlot. Twilight, I-” She stopped as she turned to see Twilight and Rarity arguing animatedly behind a bubble of purple magic through which no sound escaped. The princess reached out with a hoof and knocked on the bubble to get their attention.
Twilight dissolved the magical field with a flare of her horn. “Hehe... sorry about that.” She laughed weakly. “It’s just that when you two started talking about secretly circumventing the courts and deciding Thunderlane’s fate here and now, I thought it would be best if the three of us retained some plausible deniability.”
“Oh come now, Twilight.” Rarity countered. “Who is going to question the decision of the princess? You heard her, we would be the only ones who knew.”
“I believe Twilight is correct.” Celestia raised a hoof to cut off Twilight’s response. “There will almost certainly be some ponies who feel that my intervening in so personal a case is inappropriate. After all, the victim is one of the Elements of Harmony and a close friend of my personal protegé. The less you know, the better off you will be.”
“Um... Princess Celestia?” Fluttershy stood from her place on the floor and stretched her legs. “There is one more thing I wanted to ask you.” She paused to gather her courage. “I want to talk to Thunderlane before the trial.”
Four pairs of eyebrows shot upwards. “Are you sure about this?” Celestia asked. “I would imagine that seeing him would be very difficult for you.”
“I’m sure.” Fluttershy nodded determinedly. “I need to get some answers from him before...” She glanced over at her friends. “Before the trial.”
“Very well.” The princess turned towards the door. “He is being held in solitary confinement in the Canterlot Dungeon. I will inform the guards of your visit and they will arrange for you to see him.”
“Thank you, Princess.” Fluttershy dropped her gaze to the floor. “For everything.”
Fluttershy followed the Royal Guard slowly down the stone corridor beneath Canterlot Castle. He led her from the guard post at the entrance to the dungeons down to a room usually reserved for the interrogation of prisoners.
“He’s in this room.” The guard motioned with a hoof towards a heavy iron door. “We’ve been instructed by the princess that you are to be allowed as much time as you need with him, alone.” The look in his eyes showed that he did not fully agree with his orders, but he knew better than to question a direct order from Celestia herself. The guard pulled a key from his uniform and deftly maneuvered it into the lock of the door. The lock clicked and he pulled the door open.
“Thank you for your help.” Fluttershy nodded grimly to the guard before entering the room. The guard closed the door behind her. The interrogation chamber was plain, with only an iron chandelier hanging from the ceiling to provide light. Thunderlane sat in a chair at the far end of the room, chains holding him in place.
“Well well well.” He cracked a cruel smile, revealing a series of wires crossing his teeth to keep his jaw shut in place while it healed. “You were the last pony in Equestria I thought would want to see me.” Thunderlane shifted in the chair, rattling the chains. “This whole thing could almost be romantic... if I wasn’t rotting in a jail cell thanks to you.” He looked over Fluttershy’s shoulder disinterestedly. “So, where’s little Rainbow Crash? Still stuck in the hospital I suppose?”
“She’s dead.” Fluttershy tried to keep her voice level. “She died three days ago from a combination of internal bleeding and a collapsed lung.”
“Pity.” Thunderlane replied.
“Do you even care?” Fluttershy slowly crossed the room, straining to keep her emotions in check. “Rainbow Dash is dead. You killed her. Does that even make a difference to you?”
“Why, it makes all the difference in the world, Fluttershy dear.” Thunderlane smirked. “If she was alive, I would just be looking at a charge for attempted ponycide. That would get me seven to ten years in prison, maybe five with good behavior.” He paused and shook his head. “If she’s dead, then I’m looking at a charge for murder. That will get me twenty-five to life, maybe even with no chance for parole.”
“You’re a monster.” Fluttershy spat.
“Am I?” Thunderlane responded. “I prefer to think that I understand how the world works. It’s a pony-eat-pony world out there. The big eat the small, and the strong crush the weak. Those with power do all they can to keep those without from gaining any power of their own.”
Fluttershy turned to leave, but stopped. “I just have one question.” She turned back to face Thunderlane. “Why?”
“Why?” He mimicked, faking surprise. “I thought we went over this right before I beat the crap out of your marefriend the other day.”
“No.” Fluttershy stepped closer. “Not now, why did you do all of it back in school? What did we do back then to make you hate us so much?”
“In school?” Thunderlane was genuinely surprised, but he soon recovered and gave a cruel smile. “Oh, I see... I suppose you’re hoping that there was some tragically poetic reason for what happened back then. Maybe I was secretly in love with you or Rainbow Dash and I couldn’t handle that you had chosen each other over me.” He chuckled darkly. “I’m afraid it’s nothing quite so hopelessly romantic. The simple answer is that I did what I did because I could. I was big and strong, you were small and weak. It was as simple as that.”
Fury rose in Fluttershy’s chest. “You bucking son of a-” She stopped and took a deep breath. She looked Thunderlane dead in the eye. “I hope you have a good lawyer, you’re gonna need it.”
“Am I?” Thunderlane shot back. He noticed Fluttershy glance off to the side for a moment before looking back. “Oh... I don’t think I will. Rainbow Crash was one of the Elements of Harmony. Celestia can’t risk me being acquitted in a fair trial. I imagine she’ll step in and use her powers of Royal Judiciary Review to take over my case.”
No. Fluttershy thought to herself, panicking. This was going to be my revenge... and he’s stealing it from me.
“Now there’s only one question left.” Thunderlane continued, reveling in Fluttershy’s panic. “There’s no doubt that the princess will find me guilty, but what will the sentence be? Life in prison? The death penalty, maybe?” He adopted a look of mock thoughtfulness. “Hmm... I don’t imagine that it will be the death penalty. After what I’ve done to you, I bet you want me to suffer, so life in prison it is. That’s really why you came down here to see me, isn’t it? You wanted to take away any last shred of hope I had at tasting free air again, but I took that away from you too.”
You’re not getting away that easily. Fluttershy felt the anger in her chest die away, replaced with a cruel hatred. She slowly walked around the chair Thunderlane was chained to and lifted her forehooves up onto the chair’s back. She smirked as Thunderlane tried in vain to angle his head around to follow her movements.
“You talk about power and strength like you know what they are.” Fluttershy ran a hoof along Thunderlane’s jaw, causing him to jump slightly She leaned down and whispered in his ear. “You know nothing, Thunderlane. You have a foal’s notion of what it means to be powerful.”
“What are you-” Thunderlane began.
“Shut up.” Fluttershy stood up and smacked his broken jaw, eliciting a moan of pain. She continued as though he had not interrupted her. “I have true power.” She placed hoof on either side of his head. “I could snap your neck like a twig right now. I could kill you in cold blood while you sit chained down like a dog.” She leaned back down and whispered again. “I could murder you, and nopony would bat an eye at it. I could walk out that door and nopony would try and stop me. That is true power.” She paused and let the silence hang in the air.
“Oh, what’s this now?” Fluttershy slid a hoof down Thunderlane’s neck and rested it on the carotid artery. She felt his pulse beat quickly as he tried to pull away from her touch. “Why, your heart is racing, Thunderlane. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of poor, weak, little Fluttercry.”
“Y- you w- wouldn’t kill me.” Thunderlane stammered.
“Wouldn’t I?” Fluttershy stood up and grabbed Thunderlane’s mane in her hoof. She pulled down on it, forcing his head up so she could meet his eyes. “You took the one thing I loved most in this world from me.” She growled. “Why shouldn’t I do the same to you?” She shoved his head forward roughly before continuing. “It’s just a shame that you don’t have a marefriend of your own I could visit. Then you would truly know the pain you’ve inflicted on me.” She saw Thunderlane’s muscles tense up.
“Well well well.” Fluttershy mimicked his traditional greeting. “Don’t tell me you found some half-wit mare who’s stupid enough to put up with you?” She gave a short, humorless laugh. “Hah. Oh, this is just too perfect.”
“You leave them out of this!” Thunderlane yelled, an edge of fear in his voice.
“Them?” Fluttershy repeated. “So not just a marefriend? A wife perhaps, and a foal?” She lowered herself from the back of the chair and slowly walked around to face Thunderlane. “How did you ever find a mare willing to marry you?”
“Please, don’t hurt them.” Thunderlane begged. “They’re not a part of this. This was between you, Dash and me. They don’t even know about what went on back then.”
“Shut up.” Fluttershy reached out and slapped him across the jaw, drawing out a whimper of pain. “This stopped being just between you and me when you killed Rainbow Dash.” She leaned back and examined her hoof as though she were bored. “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything to them, as long as you do something for me.”
“Anything!” Thunderlane strained against his bonds. “I’ll do anything! Just don’t hurt them.”
“You only need to do one thing.” Fluttershy locked eyes with Thunderlane and poured all the pain and misery of the last fifteen years into giving him The Stare. “Suffer. You’re going to prison. Forever. You’ll never see the light of day again. You may even never see your wife and child again. All you need to do is sit in that cell and rot.” Thunderlane cringed away from her, but couldn’t bring himself to break eye contact.
“I’m sick of looking at you.” Fluttershy turned and made her way back to the iron door of the chamber. Before she opened it, she looked back over her shoulder. Thunderlane sat slumped in the chair, utterly defeated. She watched for a moment and saw a single tear streak down his muzzle and fall to splatter on the chains holding him to the chair. A sick, twisted sense of pleasure spread through her chest at the sight. There sat the stallion who had made her life a living hell for fifteen years, and she had reduced him to a broken shell in less than fifteen minutes.
Fluttershy pushed the iron door open and made her way out of the dungeons, a cruel smile dancing on her lips.
*
Three days later
Fluttershy dabbed a hoofkerchief across her eyes as the carriage slowed to a halt. She shared the carriage with Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity. Pinkie Pie had left early to oversee final preparations for the event. The stallion who had been pulling the carriage opened the door and let in the afternoon sun. After her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness, Fluttershy stepped out onto the grass and marveled at where she was.
The Canterlot Royal Cemetery.
An odd name, considering all of the royalty are immortal. Fluttershy thought to herself. The cemetery did not actually contain any royal residents. Those buried there were some of the greatest ponies to ever walk Equestria. Names like Starswirl the Bearded, Emily Nickerson, Friedrich Neightzsche and Shetlandspeare dotted the tombstones around the picturesque garden.
A long discussion had progressed over the past few days about where Rainbow Dash would be buried. Since Cloudsdale was a floating cloud city, it did not have a cemetery. All but a few pegasi opted to be cremated. Twilight suggested the Ponyville Cemetery, but Fluttershy had wanted to lay Dash to rest outside her cottage near the Everfree Forest. They argued back and forth for several hours before Spike interrupted with a letter from Princess Celestia. The princess offered to have Dash buried in the Canterlot Royal Cemetery in recognition for her efforts as a two-time savior of Equestria.
Everypony had been wary when Pinkie Pie requested, or rather demanded, to plan Rainbow’s funeral. As they stepped out of the carriage, any doubts Fluttershy, Twilight, Applejack or Rarity may have had vanished. Seven rows of chairs formed concentric half circles, each row a different color that formed a rainbow. At the center of the semicircles was Rainbow Dash’s casket, with an accompanying podium for ponies to speak from. The casket was a black darker than ink, emblazoned with Dash’s cutie mark on the lid. A few ponies already sat among the chairs, but most of them remained empty for the moment.
“Hello, everypony.” Pinkie Pie walked over from speaking with Princess Luna. Her appearance was a far cry from her usual chaotic demeanor. She wore a simple black dress, just like the rest of her friends. Her hair had deflated to merely wavy, and Pinkie had is pulled back in a simple braid. She smiled, but her bloodshot eyes betrayed her peaceful exterior.
“Pinkie... this is...” Twilight’s mouth worked open and closed as she searched for words.
“It’s perfect.” Fluttershy finished the thought.
“Thank you.” Pinkie nodded her head. “You should probably take your seats. Front row, center. The rest of the guests will be arriving soon.” She gestured a hoof in the direction of the rainbow of seats. Her eyes passed over the casket and the happy mask slipped for a moment. Her friends glimpsed a deep pain etched on Pinkie’s face, but she quickly reset her smile and moved on to greet other new arrivals.
Applejack, Rarity, Twilight and Fluttershy made their way to the violet row of seats at the front and found placards with their names on the four chairs in the middle. They all sat and did their best to avoid looking at the casket for the time being. Within minutes the rest of the seats filled in, and still more ponies arrived. By the time the service began a crowd of dozens stood beyond the arranged seats. Hushed chatter died away completely as Princess Celestia stepped up to the podium.
“Mares and gentlecolts. We are here today to honor Rainbow Dash.” Celestia began. “She was the Element of Loyalty, but more important than that she was a dear friend to all who met her.” Abruptly, she looked away for a moment before stepping away from the podium. She flared her horn, and a large vase full of pristine white roses appeared next to the casket. The princess grasped one with a hoof and laid it on the lid. She retreated back to Princess Luna’s side, tilting her head so that her flowing mane covered her eyes.
At that point, other ponies made their way to the casket to pay their respects, a few even stepped up to the podium to share their feelings or a story. Spitfire talked about Dash’s determination when she had led the Ponyville pegasi in forming a tornado to get water to Cloudsdale. Soarin’ spoke about when Rainbow caught the falling statue at the Grand Galloping Gala. The mayor of Ponyville recounted Dash’s acts of heroism that had led to the arrival of the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well. Applejack talked about the Iron Pony competition she had with Rainbow. Rarity told the story of how Dash saved her life and those of the Wonderbolts during the Best Young Flier’s Competition. Twilight talked about when Rainbow was stuck in the hospital and discovered her love of reading, along with the fracas that followed.
Finally, Pinkie Pie made her way to the front. By now the casket was blanketed in white roses, along with three red ones from Applejack, Twilight and Rarity. Pinkie placed a fourth red rose and stepped up to the podium. She told story after story, complete with hoof gestures and sound effects. She was still subdued by typical Pinkie Pie standards, but she regained some of her spark as she regaled the crowd with tales about Rainbow Dash. Everypony present had tears in their eyes, but they also had smiles on their faces. Even Fluttershy could not help but smile as Pinkie told the story of Dash racing to rescue Soarin’s pie at the Gala.
When Pinkie finally sat down, Fluttershy stood up and walked towards the casket. She knew she would never be able to speak in front of such a large crowd, especially not after the performance Pinkie just gave, but she still needed to pay her respects.
She needed to say goodbye.
As Fluttershy approached the casket, Princess Celestia stepped forward and flared her horn to life. A flash lit the air, leaving behind a special rose hovering in the air. The stem and leaves of the rose were solid emerald, while the petals were made of ruby. A gold filigree traced the edges of each ruby petal.
Fluttershy took the rose carefully in her hoof and looked up at the princess with tear-filled eyes. Celestia simply nodded slightly, tears welling up in her own eyes. Fluttershy gently laid the rose on the casket.
“I’m so sorry, Dashie.” She whispered. “I love you.”
Fluttershy returned to her seat and the assembled ponies began to slowly disperse. An errant thought pulled at Fluttershy’s mind, but she refused to acknowledge it. She stared at the casket as though hoping that Dash might pop out and claim that this was all an elaborate prank. She could imagine Pinkie rolling on the floor laughing at it all.
Pinkie Pie.
The errant thought forced its way to the front of Fluttershy’s mind. Something was wrong with Pinkie’s whole demeanor. Even in past tragedies Pinkie had never lost her very essence the way she had now. It was Pinkie’s firm belief that any problem, no matter how grave, could be solved with laughter and a party of sufficient size. A possible answer formed itself in Fluttershy’s mind.
No... that can’t be it. It just can’t be. She looked around for Pinkie, who was standing near the casket with her head bowed. Fluttershy made her way over to stand next to Pinkie. When Pinkie finally looked up, Fluttershy caught another brief sight of the gnawing pain on her face before she replaced it with a friendly smile.
“Hey there, Fluttershy.” Pinkie broke the silence.
“Pinkie...” Fluttershy tried to find a way to put words to the thoughts running rampant in her head. “I... I need to ask you something.” Pinkie Pie did not respond, she merely looked on expectantly. Fluttershy gathered her courage and blurted out her thought. “Did... did you love Rainbow Dash?”
“Of course I did, I love all my friends.” Pinkie replied mechanically. She pointedly avoided meeting Fluttershy’s gaze.
“You know that’s not what I meant.” Fluttershy pressed on, determined to find the truth. “Did you... love her, as more than a friend?”
Pinkie Pie sighed and turned to meet Fluttershy’s eyes. Her own eyes were overflowing with tears. “Yes, I did.”
“You...” Fluttershy stepped back. She felt as though her entire world was about to crumble around her. “You never...”
“Of course not.” Pinkie looked away. “I could tell that Dashie loved you, even if she tried not to. I could tell that you cared for her, even if you wouldn’t dare to call it love.” She turned and pulled Fluttershy into a tight hug. “How could I possibly think of coming between two of my bestest friends? I knew you two would be perfect for each other, so I just sat on the sideline and cheered you on.”
“Oh, Pinkie...” Fluttershy returned the hug. She felt fresh tears steak down her cheeks. She was not sure how she could still produce tears with how much she had been crying the past few days. “I’m so sorry. You never got to tell her.”
“It’s okay.” Pinkie pulled away. The pain from before was still etched on her face, but it had lessened. “In the end, you two found each other, even if you only had a few days together.”
“Here y’all are.” Applejack walked over, followed closely by Twilight and Rarity. Her eyes drifted over the casket and her face fell slightly. “We were just gonna see ‘bout headin’ over to Dash’s house, start sortin’ through some o’ her stuff. We understand if you don’t wanna come, ‘Shy.”
“No...” Fluttershy wiped a hoof across her eyes. She took a deep breath. “I can’t just avoid anything that would remind me of her. I’ll come with you.” She laid a hoof on the casket. “Goodbye, Dashie.”
With that, the five ponies left the cemetery and took Twilight’s hot air balloon up to Rainbow Dash’s cloud home above Ponyville. After a quick application of the cloud-walking spell, they hopped out of the balloon and walked up to the front door. The door opened when Twilight tried the handle, apparently Dash felt no need to lock it when she went out. The group headed into the spacious cloud mansion and spread out in search of the master bedroom.
“It’s down here, y’all.” Applejack called from down one of the seemingly endless corridors. After a few minutes of shouting back and forth, everypony found their way into the bedroom.
“I feel like we should have brought breadcrumbs to find our way back out.” Twilight joked as she entered the room. She took a moment to look around the room. Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy were already busy looking through drawers and various scattered boxes. Twilight’s eyes were drawn to the bed. It was massive, big enough to fit five ponies, ten if personal space was not an issue. It seemed like an unnecessary extravagance to her, but then again the one thing Dash had taken most seriously was sleeping. Twilight shook her head and got to work sorting through boxes. They all worked in relative silence, occasionally broken by a soft sob from Fluttershy.
“Ya really don’t need to be here if’n ya don’t wanna, ‘Shy.” Applejack pulled open a drawer of Dash’s dresser. “We can go through all this and let ya-” Her words died in her throat. Rarity took a break from magically sifting through a pile of what was mostly discarded fast food containers to see what had startled Applejack. She trotted across the room and looked over the farm pony’s shoulder. Rarity drew in a sharp breath and quickly glanced over to Fluttershy, who was busy sorting through Dash’s Wonderbolts memorabilia. She magically tapped Twilight on the shoulder and beckoned her over. Twilight joined Rarity and Applejack at the dresser.
“Oh, sweet Celestia, no.” Twilight burst out. This finally grabbed Fluttershy’s attention. She turned to see everypony gathered around Dash’s dresser staring at something.
“W- what is it, Twilight?” Fluttershy took a step towards the dresser.
“It’s nothin’. Nothin’ at all!” Applejack quickly hid something behind her back.
“Applejack!” Rarity chided. “She needs to see this. Now give it here.” She flared her horn to life and tried to grab the object.
“Ah don’t think so.” Applejack reached up and flicked Rarity’s horn with a hoof, interrupting the magic. “She’s not in a fit state to be seein’ this. It’s too soon.”
“Applejack.” Fluttershy’s voice was soft but insistent. She fixed Applejack with The Stare. “Show me. Now.” Applejack swallowed and slowly brought her hoof out from behind her back. The object she held was a small black box, closed in the front with a latch.
“That’s it?” Fluttershy arched an eyebrow. “What could possibly be inside that box that is so scary?”
Applejack did not respond. She simply reached out a hoof, flicked the latch open and pulled back the lid of the box. Inside was a gold ring the size of a pony’s foreleg set with a single brilliant diamond.
“That’s...” Fluttershy recoiled as though the box would attack her. “That’s...” Her voice broke.
“An engagement ring.” Applejack finished for her.
“She... I... When?” Fluttershy could not wrap her mind around the idea. Any way she looked at it, it seemed ludicrous at best.
“There’s a receipt in here.” Twilight broke in and levitated a piece of paper from the box and scanned over it. “According to this, she went out and bought it the morning after your date. She must have come back and dropped it off before coming to Rarity’s.”
“No no no no no...” Fluttershy pressed her hooves to her head. She let out an inarticulate cry of pain as the reality of the situation hit home. After one date, Rainbow Dash had intended to propose to Fluttershy. She collapsed to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Rarity, Applejack and Twilight stood fixed to the spot, unable to move and comfort her. They could only listen to Fluttershy’s pained crying as life threw yet another insurmountable torment at her feet.
*
Later that day
Fluttershy wandered blindly towards her cottage. Celestia’s sun had dipped halfway below the horizon, setting the few clouds in the sky on fire. After hours of crying, screaming, and comforting, Fluttershy had finally convinced Twilight, Applejack and Rarity that she would be fine spending the night alone. Surprisingly, Pinkie Pie had been supportive of Fluttershy during the entire argument, even after hearing about the events at Dash’s home. When Applejack told her about the engagement ring, Pinkie gave Fluttershy a look that somehow conveyed both unrestrained joy and unfathomable sadness, along with an all-too-understanding glint.
Fluttershy reached her house just as the sun finally fell below the horizon, revealing the moon and stars for all to see. She barely noticed them as she opened her front door and trudged through. Angel Bunny did not so much as stir in his sleep as she crossed the living room into the kitchen. Fluttershy placed her forehooves under the table and flipped it up against the wall in a sudden fit of rage. She reached down and ripped up the floorboard, pulling out the bottle of Old Thunderhead. With no glass after she broke it during her last drinking escapade, Fluttershy was forced to drink straight from the bottle. She pressed the opening to he lips and tilted her head back. She chugged as much as she could before she began violently coughing. She threw the mostly empty bottle against the wall, shattering it just like the glass had shattered.
“I can’t do this anymore...” Fluttershy muttered to the empty room. She stepped over to the counter and pulled open a drawer full of knives. She clumsily grabbed for one, her empty stomach allowed the alcohol to affect her more quickly. She picked up particularly shiny knife, drawn to it by the reflection of the moon on the blade. It was stainless steel, an eight inch blade, razor sharp.
“Perfect.” Fluttershy turned to leave the kitchen and made her way up to her bedroom. She fell down on the bed and returned to examining the knife. She turned it over in her hooves as she ran over her plan in her head. Not much of a plan. She thought to herself. Cut wrist, repeat, wait for death. She gripped the knife with one hoof and hovered it over her other wrist.
“I could have handled Dash being gone.” Fluttershy did not know who she was talking to, herself most likely. “I could have. I even could have lived knowing Pinkie was in love with Dash because she set it aside so that I could be with her.” Hot tears stung at her eyes, blurring her sight. “I can’t live with knowing that Dash was going to propose. That’s just too much...” She screwed her eyes shut and pulled the hoof holding the knife down.
It did not hurt as much as she thought it would. Fluttershy opened an eye to make sure she had in fact cut deep enough to hit the vein. A rapidly spreading pool of blood answered her. She quickly moved the knife over to her other hoof and repeated the process on the other foreleg.
Fluttershy let her head fall back on the pillows. Her vision was swimming due to the alcohol and now rapid blood loss. Her eyelids felt heavy. She let them slide closed. Even behind the darkness of her eyelids, Fluttershy saw the edges of her vision turn black. Her breathing slowed. She thought she could faintly hear Dash’s voice calling her. A small smile tugged at her lips.
For once, Fluttershy went willingly into the blackness.
