> A Changeling in Friendship
>  by Dreams of Ponies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Beginning of Nothing
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I crept slowly out of the Everfree Forest, the tall grass concealing me beneath the moonlight. The dim light of Ponyville's homes shrouded the town in an ominous glow. My objective was situated near the outskirts of the town, the large tower of vibrant crystal standing out easily from the smaller homes.

I quietly moved forward, keeping adjacent to Ponyville until I could easily make out the home of Twilight Sparkle, my queen's greatest enemy. Her interference was the reason I was called on this mission, and no-ling would fail to recognize the gravity of situation before them. I thought back to my audience with the majestic Queen Chrysalis, who had decided it was best properly motivate me in person.


---


I walked purposefully to the entrance of the throne room, the guards at either side giving me a once over before nodding to me to enter. I pushed the double doors open, stepping calmly inside and stopping midway to the throne, and then bowed deeply to my mighty and wise queen.

"Your majesty," I said reverently. 

"Rise, Null, I have a very important task for you," Queen Chrysalis said, smiling wickedly down at me.

I raised my head just as she looked past me, and then commanded, "Guards, close the doors, and inform any-ling that I'm not to be interrupted!"

The doors slammed shut behind me, and then her majesty returned her gaze to me.

"You have a very special skill, Null, and I have found the best way to utilize it for the benefit of the hive," she said, leading into her explanation.

I gave her a small nod, affirming to the queen that she had my full attention without having to speak out of turn. 

"Now," Queen Chrysalis continued, "you will sneak into Ponyville, by way of the Everfree Forest. This mission will need to be accomplished in the span of one night, so you'd best move quickly, and are not to be seen."

She eyed me closely, before saying, "You are to infiltrate Twilight Sparkle's castle, which will be mostly unguarded—according to our intelligence. Then you will find the sleeping princess and use your skills to learn everything about her and her friends," the queen stopped to let those details sink in. "Report back all findings, and under no circumstance are you allowed to fail," she bared her teeth at me and then hissed in a low voice, "You know what happens to failures in this hive, Null."

"Of course, my Queen, when do I depart?" I asked her, snapping firmly into attention.

"Tonight, after you've eaten and prepared any supplies you need. All the specifics about her security, as well as anything else you need, can be found in your briefing document. Be sure that you read it," she said, scowling at me. 

I bowed to her again, before she snidely remarked, "This is your chance to prove to me that you're worth more than nothing."


---


I patiently waded through the grass, a silent shadow in the night. When I felt like some pony was watching, I would freeze in place, becoming nearly invisible. It wasn't necessary, of course, as there were hardly any ponies who had business this late. 

I have infiltrated many pony towns after sunset, in order to gather love energy, which is essential to the hive's survival. The Queen has told me that I have a particular knack for dream infiltration, stealing emotions without having to perform the social tap dance, for which other changelings have to study for years. Why risk exposing yourself in such a manner, when you can sneak into their dreams, without ever saying a word?

Tonight's mission was different, however, for tonight I was tasked with extracting information from my target. Dreams can often reveal secrets and weaknesses about an individual, but with a little practice, I've come to understand the mind's base structures.

I lay in the grass, quiet and patient, observing Twilight's home from about twenty meters away. There were two earth pony guards posted at the front, both whom looked tired and bored. Instead of the front entrance, I intended gain access by way of the second floor terrace, which looked completely empty from here. 

I spread my insect wings, and after making sure the guards weren't looking my way, I fluttered into the air. The balcony was void of life—which wasn't surprising. I would have preferred pegasus wings, which are normally quieter and better for gliding, but that would have violated my orders. I had been given only a few stipulations on this missions, but that rule was the only one that had come as a surprise to me. 

Project Midnight Sparkle, mission brief-

Operative assigned-Null

Mission objective: Infiltrate Twilight Sparkle's castle at night, locate her, and then extract all useful information—without being detected.

Special parameters for mission as follows:

1. Remain undetected during the entire duration (this includes being seen in disguise).

2. Under absolutely no circumstance, are you permitted the use of magic prior to finding the target, this also includes any threats on your life. We have reason to believe that the castle has magic detection spells in place, so you are to sneak onto the premises without the use of a disguise.

3. Violation of either of these rules will result in death, either by pony torture, or by the queen's wrath upon your return.


So here I was, fully exposed in the castle of my enemy, carapace and all. I stepped past a velvet curtain and stopped as my eyes observed the room inside. I had entered the second floor of a large ornate room, in which sat six large majestic chairs circled around a crystal table. But it was the luminosity that emanated from the ceiling that really drew my attention. A large assortment of precious gems were dangling from what seemed to be ancient tree roots. Each gem shimmered with multiple colors, and I had to fight hard not to fly up to get a closer look.

I buzzed my wings, hovering up and over the side of the small railing, before floating over the table. Each chair had an emblem engraved upon it, which our intelligence reported, belonged to each of her closest friends. I look up, entranced by the shimmering lights of the chandelier. The hive just didn't have anything that colorful and bright, even in the queen's chamber. Especially in the queen's chamber. I moved forward to the ornate doors, assuming they were the exit, and gently pulled one open. I peeked through, looking and listening for any sign of life. When I felt it was safe, I slipped into the hallway and quietly shut the door behind me.

The hall was lined with doors, up and down each side, leading who knows where. I stepped lightly, the halls still having enough light for me to be easily spotted. I paused at each door, before closing my eyes, so that I could more closely detect any emotions a pony might be releasing. After passing a half dozen rooms, I caught just a whiff of happiness. I stopped, looking around before spotting an ornate door, which had a purple star insignia hung in the center. 

Looks like we have a winner!

I walked carefully over to the room, the sense of emotion steadily increasing, all while nervously glancing around to check for guards. I pressed my ear to the door, and after a moment of silence, I could make out the sound of a mare snoring. I pushed against the door gently—sending a prayer to the queen. I was relieved to find the door opened soundlessly as I crept inside the bedroom.

I looked around, observing the large queen sized bed, some very ornate furniture and bookcases, and for some reason, a small basket with a folded blanket resting on top. I stood quietly, simply listening to Twilight Sparkle's snoring, before closing the door gently with a "click". I stepped forward, one hoof at a time, checking the ground for anything that might make noise. Apart from a few stacks of books, the floor was clear of any obstructions, so I quietly moved towards the sleeping purple pony princess.

As I approached the bed, I could clearly see Twilight Sparkle's expression, which was caught between bliss and serenity. Slowly, I sat down as close to the bed as I could, before leaning over to touch my curved horn to Twilight's. She let out a low groan, shifting slightly, before settling comfortably back into dreamland. I lowered my head, and slowly brought forth the smallest spark of magic. I touched our horns together, and allowed my consciousness to slip into her dream. 



> Twilight Sparkle's Mind is a Curious Place
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I opened my eyes in the dream world. A crowd of cheering ponies stood before me. All which were facing a large stage, looking up at the  ponies speaking on top of it. 

"We are here today, to present the Golden Starswirl award to Princess Twilight Sparkle, for her work in subatomic magical theory," said an old grey stallion. He gestured to some pony off stage, and then Twilight Sparkle walked across to the podium. She was wearing the proudest smile that I've ever seen on a pony. The stallion speaker held out a golden statue, which was a small bearded figure holding a scroll, for Twilight to accept. 

Twilight took the statue in her magic, before stepping up to the podium, and then leaning into the microphone, "Thank you, everypony, I couldn't be prouder than I am now." She smiled at the crowd, taking a breath, "I want to say that I couldn't have done this without the love and support of all my friends, and of course my mentor, Princess Celestia," Twilight said, waving to a group of ponies in the front of the crowd. 

The group stood and cheered for her, before they began trotting up to the front of the stage to give Twilight a hug. The Princess of the Sun herself flew up to meet her student in an embrace. Twilight cried happily, tears flowing down as the audience stomped and cheered for the pair. Ponies are so emotional some times, but then if they weren't, I would probably starve.

The dream was pretty standard, if a bit grandiose. Twilight seemed to have the admiration and friendship of most of the town, as well as being very close to her friends. This wasn't really news to me however, so then I turned to leave the auditorium. If I wanted to understand Twilight Sparkle, I would need to dive deeper into her mind. 

I walked outside, the light of a daytime Ponyville blinding me initially. I shielded my eyes so I could look around to see what the dream world had created for me to explore. The town itself looked realistically similar, compared to some of the crazier dreams I've infiltrated. Also, I didn't usually hear orchestral music to set the theme.

"Hello, there," a strange voice said from above me. 

I must of jumped at least several meters in the air in surprise. I looked around, until I spotted a strange creature playing a tune upon a piano. The instrument itself was floating upside down in the air, its small stool tied to it with a rope. The pianist was a strange fusion of several creatures, and was looking down at me, while still playing with ease.

"Um, hello. Who are you, if I might ask?" I said, completely unsure about why the strange creature could see me.

"Who, Me?" the odd apparition said, "Why, I'm Discord,  Master of Chaos, and all of that, or at least I'm the dream representation that our young Twilight has created for herself."

"I'm surprised that you're even able to see me, or that you're this self-aware for that matter," I said honestly. 

"Well, I'm still Discord, so rules don't really apply to me," he said, turning to face me fully, his hands popping off to continue playing.

"So, I'm guessing that you're another of Twilight Sparkle's friends?" 

"You could say that," Dream-Discord said, "and you could also say that I know why a certain changeling is here, lurking inside my dear friend's mind."

I stared at him, considering my current options. I could try to outrun him, but he probably knew this place better than me.

"So, you're here to stop me then, right?" I asked, watching him disappear and reappear in front of me.

"Why would I do that?" he asked, "I would be ruining a perfectly good friendship problem," he finished, patting my head, which pushed my face towards the ground.

"Huh? What friendship problem?" I said, looking up in question, only to discover that Discord was gone, as was his piano. "The sooner I get this over with, the better," I said to myself.

I continued my search, looking at each building as I passed. I needed something where Twilight would keep information, or her secrets. I remember what I had seen inside her home, and thought about all the books lying around in her bedroom. She seemed to be very studious and educated, so I thought of an easy place to start. 

I guess I'll check the library. 

I moved along, now looking for something that would resemble a book repository before spotting a building I didn't remember seeing in Ponyville on my journey here. A tall tree, which had been carved out as a home, stood before me. 

This kind of thing could only be real in a dream, I mean, really, how could that tree still be alive?

The sign beside the literal tree house read, "Ponyville Golden Oaks Library." I tapped on the door, which then opened with a creak. The inside seemed quite a bit larger from where I was standing, which was common for dreams, but something about it seemed very familiar to me.

I looked around at the rows and rows of books, all settled neatly upon their shelves, waiting to be read. I walked down the rows, peering at the titles as I walked past. I past various sections of information, containing hundreds of topics. This pony sure did a lot of reading, if her mind was this full of books. The specific book I was looking for would probably be under the letter 'F', if Twilight's mind is as organized as I thought it would be.

"Favorite Fictions, Favorite Foods, Fedoras, ah, here it is, Friendships," I said, pulling the last one of the shelf. I was surprised to see the bookcase slide over in response, revealing a small stairway leading deeper into the library, as well as deeper into Twilight's mind.

I descended the staircase, small torches lighting my way, before I came upon an unusual sight: five pedestals were placed on the outside of a circle, each with its own book on top of a red cushion. I stepped forward, eyeing each book, as well as noticing their purpose. Running down each pedestal was a small line of faint magic, connecting in their center. They formed a magical lock, which, by logical conclusion, was most likely protecting something precious. This was Twilight's way of protecting her secrets and doubts, her friends becoming her mental barrier against negative thoughts.

That's essentially what I am: a negative thought. 

I walked forward, carefully examining each book, which bore the same symbols as the throne room's chairs. So, in order to gain access to Twilight's darkest secrets, I first had to deal with her friends. I would have to enter each book, which would act as a stored memory, and remove whatever was linking it to this barrier.

This is probably the best mental defense I have ever seen. 

I walked around the books, trying to decide what would be the ideal one with which to start. I looked them over slowly, thinking that I might want to start with the butterfly book. It looked innocent enough, being a mix of butter yellow and pink. I walked over to it, and opened the pages to enter the specific memory Twilight had assigned to it.

The world flashed before me, and I was drawn deep into its grasp.
> Denial and Disaster
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

An ocean of starlight surrounded me, transforming into comets as I spun around, confused by this development. I heard the sound of hoof steps behind me, and then turned to see a butter yellow pegasus step out of the ether. She tilted her head down, waves of her pink mane falling to cover half of her face. She slowly exited the shadows, looking at me from the corner of her eye.

"Um, excuse me. I don't mean to be rude, but, who are you?" she said softly, causing me to have to strain to hear her.

Guess I would just play along, this was probably part of the puzzle.

"Hello. I'm Null, and who might you be?" I said, holding up a hoof. She took a small step forward and gently shook it.

"My name is Fluttershy. I'm supposed to tell you the rules," she said, dragging her hoof across fabric of reality. It rippled out like a rock thrown into a pond, for this was not actually a representation of space, but a reflective pool of the mind.

"What kind of rules would those be?" I asked, a little confused.

"Well," Fluttershy said softly, "Twilight knew it was possible that this might happen one day, but instead of removing the invader, she would rather learn more about them."

"So.....what do you want me to do?" I asked her. I'm starting to see where this is going.

"Before I show you this memory, I want to ask you a question, and we hope you'll give an honest answer," she said, giving me a weak smile.

Not sure what the real point of this is, but the sooner we get this over with, the better. "Alright, ask away then," I said, gesturing to her to continue.

"Um, okay. Thank you," she paced around the star drenched world, each step sending waves across the mirror-like ground. After a moment of thought, she turned to face me, adopting a more determined look.

"Have you ever done anything for someone, just because it felt good inside, because it seemed like a nice thing to do?"

I stood there for a minute, allowing my brain to process the question. Such action would be considered a ridiculous notion in the hive, a useless sentiment at best, and weakness or mental illness at worse.

I said as much to her, watching her expression change from a small smile to a sad frown, which was punctuated by the slow closing of her eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Null. I hope that maybe, one day, you'll experience kindness for yourself."

Fluttershy turned away from me in a whirl of pink hair. She walked off into the void, slowly melding with the darkness. The moment she was gone,  I felt myself fall downwards into what felt like a bone-chilling lake. I looked around to try to orient my position, and after a moment of searching, spotted a small light below me.

I swam down, or what seemed like a downward direction to me, towards the slowly growing light. The closer I got, the warmer my chitin became. The light expanded outwards as I approached, my eyes taking in its cloudy texture. I pushed myself forward, propelling my body through the water-like substance.

With a puff and a kick, I managed to poke my head through the fluffy barrier. The change in lighting disoriented me momentarily, before I blinked rapidly which helped my eyes adjusted. Taking in my surroundings, I saw Twilight Sparkle and her friends huddled around a bed. At least I thought I could identify everypony, according to the reports. Sitting up in the bed, facing everypony with tears in her eyes, was who I could recognized as Rainbow Dash. 

This memory was frozen in time, everypony looking at Rainbow Dash in a perpetual state of concern. I reached out and touched the scene with my magic, and watched as the event unfolded before me.

"How are you feeling, Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy asked, her presence practically dripping with compassion.

Rainbow Dash turned her head away from Fluttershy, "Whatever..." she said, as I sensed waves of negative emotion wafting from her.

The one known as Rarity leaned over to Twilight Sparkle, and said, "The poor thing looks so sad! Just what are we doing to do?"

Twilight Sparkle shrugged, looking at the back of Rainbows head with concern, "I don't know what we can do."

The blond earth pony we identified as Applejack stepped forward next to Fluttershy, "Buck up, Sugar cube. You just ain't yourself these days."

Rainbow responded with an even more despondent, "Whatever," to Applejack, who frowned at the cyan pegasus.

Rarity came closer, before pursing her lips and then said, "Uh, how can I say this tactfully? You've lost your sparkle, Rainbow Dash."

The reportedly normal pink party pony named Pinkie Pie then leaned forward to whisper, "I hate to say this, but, well... you've become, a party pooper!"

Rainbow then glared at the group intensely, "Didn't you hear me? I said 'whatever'. I don't know if you're here to cheer me up or what, but I'm fine."

Fluttershy stepped up, her heart filled with conviction. "Let me handle this.” She looked Rainbow Dash straight in the face, and said, “Rainbow Dash, your winter is going to be pet-less."

The room went still for a moment, before Rainbow Dash burst into tears, bawling while every pony’s eyes went from Fluttershy to Rainbow Dash and back again.

As the scene continued to play in front of me, I observed an almost unbearable amount of kindness, love, and compassion emanating from Fluttershy. Her drive to aid others, especially in their time of need, was the pillar of her character. It was also the core of this memory, from what I could tell. If I were to disrupt the Twilight's mental protections, I would have to start with unraveling this memory.

I touched the fabric of the dream-space with my magic and the scene reverted back to just before Fluttershy confronted Rainbow. As she stepped up, I leeched the conviction and compassion from her, drawing it into myself as I watched her face droop downwards. Instead of speaking up, she simply and slowly walked backwards, becoming one with the scenery.

The world shifted in a hazy blur, and I found myself standing in a small clearing, observing everypony gathered around something in a circle. I could hear some ponies sob, as well as see Rarity blow her nose with a tissue.

Suddenly, there was a burst of noise, "Don't you look at me like that!" screamed Rainbow Dash. "I just wanted to spend winter with my best friend, I never wanted this..." Rainbow Dash trailed off.

I buzzed my wings, taking to the air as I moved over to observe what was between them. A small grave had been dug into the earth, in which was placed a small ornate green blanket. I couldn't tell what it was covering, but it seemed that Rainbow Dash was absolutely distraught about it.

"It's my fault, it's all my fault," Rainbow Dash said, looking down at the ground. Applejack moved towards her, reaching a hoof out for Rainbow's shoulder. Rainbow knocked it away, glaring at Applejack, "Don't you of all ponies try to tell me that it's not, A.J., you know better than to try and lie to me. Rainbow turned and the bolted into the sky, leaving a wave of self-loathing and angry rainbow dust in her wake.

Then with a sudden headache inducing swirl of color, I was thrown backwards, landing against the wall of Twilight's chamber of inner thought. As I got up carefully, my gaze fell upon Fluttershy's Pedestal. The room around me shook slightly as I could see the pedestal's line of magic fade as the Pink butterflies faded to gray. I got up to walk around the room and I thought I noticed a change in the feel of the room. The light of the room had faded, and I could feel a difference in the atmosphere.

I moved forward with my tasks, setting my sights on the pedestal that held Rainbow Dash's memory. I'm not entirely sure what drew me to that particular book, it might not have even been a conscious decision. I stepped up to the rainbow colored insignia, and reached out with a hoof to open the book. With a rush of air and the sound of water being sucked down a drain, I was pulled into the memory.


---


I walked across the dark waters of memory, looking into the endless, star-filled universe of Twilight's mind. I stood there for a moment, waiting for what I figured would be a similar appearance from one of the princess's friends.

I didn't have to wait long. With the sound of rustling feathers and a splash of water, the rainbow haired mare landed right in front of me. Rainbow Dash didn't look happy either, judging by her fierce scowl, or the way she was crouching like she was about to tackle me.

"Listen here, bub, I know this is how Twilight wants things done, but that doesn't mean I have to be nice about it," Rainbow dash fumed. I took a small step back from the heated pegasus, and decided just listen for now. "Now I'm going to ask you a question and you're going to answer it like a good little bug. And after that I'll show you a memory of how awesome I am, and then you can leave."

I was nodding as she detailed the rules to me, but stopped abruptly at that last bit. "Leave?" I said, looking at her confused.

"Yeah, leave," Rainbow dash repeated, "I don't like you, and I can tell how all this is slowly affecting Twilight."

"And if I don't leave?" I said, taking a step up to meet her in the eye.

"Then you might end up regretting meddling in my friend's mind," Rainbow Dash said, narrowing her eyes slightly.

I huffed at her, sitting down and saying, "Just ask your question already, so we can move on."

"Fine." Rainbow dash hovered into the air above me, staring down as she acted the part of an interrogator. "Changelings have their own set of principles right?" I nodded to her, figuring that this was just a leading question. "Well then, here's my question: Would you violate your own morals and principles if you thought it would impress someone that you respected?"

"That's a pretty interesting question," I said, looking at Rainbow Dash, who gave only a slight hint of a smile. "Well, if I had to give a quick answer, I would say that no, I wouldn't. The hive has a shared set of ethics and principles, and we all live by them. If any-ling would go against that for personal gain, they would be ostracized from our society." I watched Rainbow's face shift through a variety of emotions.

"Fine, I guess that's good enough for Twilight, anyway," she said before launching into the air. I watched as she sped through the air, before turning to fly around me in a circle. She flew faster and faster, a rainbow hue of magic forming around me in a cyclone. I felt myself turn and spin around with it, unable to resist the massive pull it produced. After about ten seconds, I felt dizzy and nauseous, the world around me slowly coming to a stop.

As my vision cleared, I saw that I was on a sort of runway, the blue clear sky dominating my vision. I could see clouds floating about, as well as see a number of ponies in uniform flying around a track of sorts. Suddenly I heard a whirling sound, and then looked up to see a small twister forming in the air. A pair of blurring colors whisked around it, guiding it along to obliterate clouds in its wake. As I stood and watched, I spotted two figures thrown out of the force of nature, which raged on, completely unchecked.

I stared in surprise as a small purple balloon, which was carrying a basket of ponies emerged from the cloud curtain. The twister was barreling towards them, before it quickly sucked the whole balloon and basket in a single gulp. A moment later, I heard ropes snap and a familiar pastel grouping of ponies were hurled out into the sky. After a yell of terror, I could see a rainbow blur dash down into the clouds after them.

I buzzed my wings, moving towards the end of the runway to see what happened. Before I had moved more than a few feet, the group of ponies were flung back into the air, where the uniformed pegasi dashed over to catch them. As everypony landed on the ground, Rainbow dash flew over to them. Pinkie Pie jumped into Rainbow's hooves as the pair of ponies shared a moment together. Then a pegasus with an orange and gold mane, with a formation of gold stars as a cutie mark, rushed over to them. I hovered closer in time to catch the conversation.

"That... was... awesome!" Called the golden maned mare.

Rainbow Dash scowled at her, before saying, "Awesome? My friends could have been smashed to pieces!"

"Yeah, but they weren't, right? Can't say the same for the clouds. We totally wiped them out with that tornado. The other cadets will have to be up there for days to bust as many as we did," she said before holding a hoof outwards towards Rainbow dash.

Rainbow's anger simmered like a bowl of five alarm chili as she pushed the hoof away, "A hoof bump? Seriously? You made me clip my wing! You sent half of our class into serious tailspins on the obstacle course, and then you unleashed a tornado that nearly demolished my friends!"

The mare looked at her flatly and then said, "Yeah, and?"

I was Rainbow Dash slump a bit, her righteousness faltering, "And I get that you want to be the best. So do I! But you're going about it in the wrong way!”

The golden mare scoffed at her, "The Wonderbolts don't seem to think so. After all, Spitfire did make me the leader and you the wingpony."

Rainbow Dash sighed, looking away from the mare as she said, "You're right. She did."

The world shifted around me, like being suddenly pushed off a high cliff, and then landing less than a second later. I stood next to Rainbow Dash, who, seemingly unaware of my presence, was staring at an office door. She took a deep breath and entered. A pegasus mare in a military uniform with flaming hair, whom I presumed to be Spitfire, look up from behind her desk as we entered.

"This better be important. You're supposed to be up there busting clouds with your partner," she said to Rainbow as she stepped closer.

"We're done with that, ma'am," Rainbow Dash said, giving her a salute.

"Already?" Spitfire says, looking back at a clock on the wall. "That's an academy record." Looking back at Rainbow dash, she says,"Explain your methods."

"That's why I'm here, ma'am. Lightning Dust decided to use a tornado," Rainbow Dash said, keeping her voice even.

Spitfire seemed unaware of Rainbows building emotions as she continued evenly, "A bit excessive for cloud-busting. But judging from your time, it was obviously an effective tactic."

Rainbow Dash stormed up to the desk, "Yeah, well that effective tactic nearly took out my friends! No disrespect, ma'am, but there's a big difference between pushing yourself as hard as you can and just being reckless. And if being reckless is what gets rewarded around here, if that's what it means to be a Wonderbolt, then I don't want any part of it."

Spitfire's eyes had narrowed while Rainbow Dash spoke, a scowl making its way across her amber face. "What are you saying, newbie?"

Rainbow pulled a silver winged emblem from her uniform and placed it on Spitfire's desk. "I quit." Rainbow turned and then walked out of the office, leaving a wide-eyed Spitfire staring as she left. I followed Rainbow Dash out, feeling her emotions frenzy over each other as her adrenaline wore off. Her eyes go wide, after which she hangs her head.

I observed the rest of the memory, as Spitfire chased Rainbow Dash out onto the runway, and then chastised Lightning Dust for her rash actions and reckless ambition. Rainbow Dash was given a promotion for her high code of ethics, and everypony was happy, except for Lightning Dust.

Well, it's time to dismantle this memory as well. I thought back to Rainbow's earlier question about moral principle, and then decided on the best way to proceed. I tapped into the dream magic, rewinding back to just before Rainbow Dash entered the office. She stood there, hovering between her life's ambition and her own moral code. As I could feel the sense of righteousness start to win out over self-interest, I sapped her with my magic. I drew in her respect for herself, and the pride that came with being loyal to her friends.

The result was pretty much how I predicted, as I watched Rainbow Dash slump down and and slowly walk away. The world flashed forward, dragging me with it. I saw Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust flying together, racing around the track. They wove between hoops, dipping and turning before they flew downward in a dive. I could see a hoop close to the ground as they sped quickly towards it.  

The air began to distort around Rainbow's hooves, as her whole body seemed to compress before she exploded forward, sending a wave of rainbows out from beside and behind her. Lightning Dust, who had been trying to beat her to the hoop, was blown off course and then sent into a tail spin. I watched in awe as the golden blur was thrown at an insane speed into small cliff side. I flinched at the impact, knowing the damage that could have been done, regardless of the fact that this was a dream.

The world flashed again, and I was once again in Spitfire's office, staring at a crying Rainbow Dash and a furious Spitfire.

"Your actions were stupid, reckless and could have killed somepony, Rainbow Dash. Now, what do you have to say for yourself?" Spitfire boomed over the crying cyan mare.

"I-I just wanted to show you, to show everypony, that I could be a leader too!" Rainbow Dash stammered.

"And look at what happened! Just because you want something that badly doesn't mean you can disregard the possible repercussions of your actions!” Spitfire retorted. She stepped closer to Rainbow Dash, her eyes almost aflame as she loomed over the shrinking pony. "Lightning Dust may never fly again after that fall, because of you! Now, as Captain of the Wonderbolts, I hereby discharge you from our reserve ranks, and ban you from any future applications."

I stood as Rainbow turned and ran out of the office, big wet splotches falling from her as she fled.

I guess that will suffice.


---


Like being thrown by a twister, I was ejected from the memory back onto the marble floor of Twilight's mind. I watched as the line of magic faded in sync with the rainbow hues of Rainbow Dash's memory. The room gave a rumble, tossing me around like a doll.

Perhaps Twilight had shifted in her sleep?

I felt a little strange as I walked over to continue my mission. An uneasiness was creeping into the back of my mind and I couldn't tell if it was just paranoia or something else entirely. Either way, there was only one route forward, and that way to proceed as planned.

I stepped up to the representation of Applejack's memory, opened it with my magic, and the world swirled away.

> Corrupted Self and Corroded Virtue
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The void of consciousness surrounded me once again, the lights of distant memories sparkling down at me like a perfect night sky. I felt a warm breeze rush past me, the smell of fruit pies and hay caressing my dream senses.

From behind me came a voice, steady, but with a touch of concern, "Ya know, sugarcube, this ain't gonna end well for anypony." I turned around to face the blonde earth pony with a stetson hat, who stood before me like an iron anvil amidst a world of abstract thought.  

"I'm not sure what you specifically mean by that statement," I said to her. Perhaps she means the possible conflict afterwards, or is there some other meaning to which she was referring?

"Ah mean," Applejack frowned at me before elaborating, "this whole ordeal is affecting her in a bad way," she finished off with a wave of a hoof to the air around us.

"Negative emotions aren't pleasant to experience, in dreams or reality, for ponies or changelings," I stated factually.

"You'll just have to see it for yerself then, Ah suppose," Applejack said while scratching her chin with a hoof. "Well, I reckon I better ask my question so we can be done with this here mess a bit sooner." I stood ready for her interrogation, curious of what she would ask considering what the others had inquired. I nodded to her, after which Applejack closed her eyes in thought.

"Well, here's what Ah want to know: If everyone around you believed in somethin’, somethin’ that ya knew was a lie, would ya be honest with 'em, even if they might hate ya for it?"

I considered the question, and after a moment gave my answer, "If it caused no harm to the hive, I think that trying to explain such a large scale lie would be an excessive use of time and energy," I finished, getting a calculating look from her in return.

"And what if there was a really good chance of some changeling gettin’ hurt, real serious like, if ya didn't come forward?"

I cocked my head at the adjusted question, taking more than a moment to think it over. These ponies ask very interesting questions, but the hive sets a different standard of principles than which ponies are accustomed.

"I wouldn't have a choice but to dispel the illusion of truth for the good of the hive, even if it meant exile or worse," I said, a slight touch of sadness worming its way into my voice.

Applejack gave me a small nod of approval, before slowly stepping closer. The dream fabric vibrated as I got an up close and personal look at her freckled face.

"There might be hope for ya still, Null," said Applejack, who then moved the tip of her hat over her face. Then she turned around and bucked me in the stomach.

My insides erupted in pain as the world of stars sped away from me like I had flown into the sky during a luminous rainfall. Moments later I smashed into something hard, and then face-planted into the ground. I spat out a clump of dirt and looked up to see a daytime Ponyville.

Before me was a mass of pastel colors in the form of a crowd of ponies, who were gathered around a large tower. The tall structure had a wooden plank protruding from top end, and as I moved between the ponies to get a better view, saw that it was placed directly over a small pan of water.

"With Flim Flam's Magical Curative Tonic, my Granny can do anything! Just ask Applejack!" called a small voice. I turned to see a earth pony filly, with her ribbons in her mane, holding a dark green bottle in the air. A group of ponies were taking pictures of her while she spoke, meanwhile I could see a strangely similar pair of unicorn stallions in striped uniforms exchanging bits for the bottles.

Then I heard a familiar voice filled with concern say, "No! This has gotta stop! If ponies keep believin’ that tonic can do things it can't, who knows what'll happen?" I look over to see Applejack standing by the base of the tall structure talking to a gray stallion wearing the same striped outfit.

The stallion looked around, before pointing above him and saying, "Maybe something like that?" Applejack and I followed his hoof to where an elderly green tinted earth pony with white hair was climbing up a ladder which was behind the tower.

Applejack gasped, before jumping over to yell at the filly who had spoken a moment ago, "Granny! What in blazes does she think she's doin’?"

"Granny's gonna break the Equestria high divin' record!" the filly replied as she looked up in awe.

"Land sakes!" Applejack cursed as she bolted for the ladder.

I watched as the elderly pony drank something from a bottle, before moving to the end of the plank that stuck out from the tower. Applejack reached the top just as the old pony was springing up in the air. Running forward while taking a deep breath, I saw her toss a rope down, which moved like a lighting fast whip to snag the falling equine moments before she touched down into the small pan.

The lassoed lass turned to look up at Applejack, before hollering, "Now what in tarnation did you do that for?"

Applejack slid back down the ladder in a few seconds, and then trotted back up to the group before saying, "That was the most fool-pony thing Ah've ever seen anypony do in all my life! Ya can't do a dive like that!"

The old mare waved Applejack off with a hoof, and then said, "Oh, quit your fussin'! I had enough tonic to do a dive ten times as high!"

The two sales ponies stepped in at that moment to say, "Twenty times, by my count."

Afterwards his look-a-like chipped in with, "Thirty, with a favorable breeze."

Applejack's eyebrows furrowed as she spoke loudly, "Ah hate to disappoint everypony, but there's no way Granny could have made that dive, because this tonic is a fake!"

The crowd gasps, before a pair of ponies stepped forward to question Applejack. As Applejack explained to them how she lied because everypony seemed happier with the lie, I could feel a strong sense of humility, which was mixed with a good bit of relief.

She finished off by saying, "Ah reckon sometimes ya'll can forget what yer capable of, and it just takes a bit extra confidence to remember that it was inside ya all along. But tellin’ ponies y'all's tonic can do things it can't is just wrong," she said stomping a hoof.

After this, the pair of uniformed ponies took off, slipping silently into the crowd. I watched Applejack talking with the grey stallion from earlier, during which he projected a wave of remorse, but could also see the kindling spark of hope inside him. He handed Applejack a coin, which shone brightly as she looked down at it.

Alright, I think I know where to start. As I touched the fabric of memory, I felt an odd sensation in my stomach, but ignored it as I focused. I reset the memory, back to where Applejack had just noticed Granny climbing the ladder. Applejack sprung up, moving to scramble up after the old pony. 

This should be pretty easy to cause a problem here. The massive amount of emotion coming off of Applejack would be a good place to start. I angled myself at her and began focusing my magic as she neared the top of the structure. My perception of time seemed to slow as I siphoned large amounts of love from Applejack. She didn't stop climbing, for the hive's sake, I'm not sure she even slowed down.

My head throbbed, after I had unwittingly stretched my capacity for emotional intake. There didn't seem to be an end to Applejack's feelings for her family, which might have been the real case, or just something exemplified here in the dream. I started to feel like my horn was going to snap off in the process of draining all her love. But, even as I slowed my magical siphon to a trickle, I still couldn't sense an end to of her love for her family.

Applejack grabbed the rope and began to swing it around. I staggered forward, my vision blurring the world around me as I tried to get closer. I shook my head to bring my perspective back into focus. I had to find another way to do corrupt the memory, and draining Applejack's love wouldn't do it, but maybe there was something else. I watched as Granny plummet towards the ground, all the while my brain worked furiously towards a solution. Fortunately I now had a large amount of magic at my disposal, so I was confident that I would be able to do whatever it is that was needed.

Applejack threw the rope down, whipping it through the air toward the falling pony. I focused my magic on the rope itself, pulling it back just slightly, which caused it to miss its intended target by only a few inches. After that it was as simple as letting gravity finish its work. But as I stood there watching the events unfold in slow motion, something within of me lurched like I'd been bucked from the inside. I acted without directed thought, my horn glowing and focusing on the water.

The water rose slowly out of the small tin, stretching towards the falling pony just as she came down upon it. I poured magic into the spell, which then shifted into thickening the water's consistency. The pony named Granny was caught by the water, which receded back into the small pan. My head spun around with a combination of exhaustion and nausea as Applejack slide down the ladder.

She ran to the now drenched high diving pony, gripping her in a tight hug and then said, "Ya'll nearly gave meh a heart attack, why would yah go and do somethin' like that?"

"Ah horse apples, I knew I could handle it—as long as I got my bottle of cider!" Granny said, before the two uniformed unicorns trotted over, a strong odor of greed wafting off of them.

"That's right everypony! You've seen it tested and proven here, now who wants to be next pony to witness the spectacularly amazing effects of our miracle tonic?" the pair of ponies proclaimed.

Applejack looked flustered as a line began to form in front of the pair, every pony's excited chattering increasing along with the sound of steam coming from Applejack's ears.

A green colored unicorn walked up to her floating a book and quill, and then spoke, "Applejack, I'm Note Worthy with the Ponyville Press—would you care to make an official statement about the Flim Flam brother's new cure-all tonic?"

I could almost hear the cogwheels in Applejack's brain turning, as well as feel the churning of different emotions. A deep pit of disgust, alongside a wave of anger, at herself mostly. Inside her, the dominant forces of pride in her own integrity was battling the shame of revealing her lie to every pony. This was now made twice as difficult after Granny's stunt, which had effectively convinced the whole crowd of its abilities.

I have to break the memory here if I'm to have any chance at all. I drew heavily from her sense of pride and honor, pulling it out of her until I finally heard her speak.

"Its seems to work pretty well from Ah saw, Ah mean that dive and all," Applejack muttered to the reporter. She tucked her hat over her head before turning to walk away. The amount of shame and self-disgust that emanated from her was toxic, and as she walked away, I felt I had succeeded.

As if in sync with my thoughts, I fell through the world as I took a step, sinking abruptly into darkness.


---


My body was thrown outwards against a wall, striking my back with severe force. I fell onto my front and groaned from the impact, before looking up to see my progress in Twilight's mind. I struggled to my feet as I watched Applejack's representation of memory fade to grey, and the line of magic disappear into the central magic circle. I tried to steady myself, taking a shaky step forward, and almost lost consciousness. I swayed back and forth, my heart hammering in my throat as I fought to regain control of myself.

I blinked rapidly, shaking my head gently before stopping to a take a few long breaths. When my heart sufficiently steadied, I started towards the next pedestal. Atop this one was a gem-adorned tome, which seemed to stare back at me as I approached. I stood studying it for a moment while I gathered my wits, then I reached out with my magic and was blinded by sapphire light.


---


"Darling, you really don't look well. I think you need to sit down and rest," called a warm sultry voice. I opened my eyes to see Rarity before me stretched out upon red lounging seat, which was floating atop a sea of stars and darkness. "Ah, I see that you've come back to us dear. Now, please, sit down before you pass out again," she insisted. Rarity's horn glowed and then something knocked against my back legs, causing me to fall backwards onto a small cushion.

"Uh, thanks, I guess," I said, confused by her concern.

"It's no matter darling, now I'm sure you know why I'm here?" Rarity said, raising her leg up to examine one of her hooves.

"Ah, well, you're probably going to ask me a question, and then we'll move on to a memory," I stated in a flat tone.

"You're absolutely right. Now, before we go on to further traumatize Twilight, I'm hoping to gain a little more insight into who you are,' she said, pointing her perfectly manicured hoof at me. I nodded my head, to which she gave a small smile and flick of her mane. "Alright, Null the Changeling, do you know what love is?"

I blinked for a moment, before scoffing lightly, "Of course I do. Love is an emotional force that stems from extreme desires."

"Correct again. Now ponies share love freely with each other, but changelings only take for others, so now let me ask you my question. Have you ever shared yourself with someone, simply because of what they meant to you?"

I shook my head after a few moments of contemplation, "We gather our love into the pools of the hive, as our kind needs it to survive. Changelings do not love each other, or grow attached to any-ling, except the queen. We have a sole duty to the hive and to Her Majesty, and nothing else matters." Rarity looked at me with her bottom lip curled slightly, a small tear threatening to flow down across her face.  

"I'm sorry to hear that, Null, I really am," Rarity gave a small sniff. "I hope that one day, you'll understand what it is to freely give your heart to another." I tilted my head at her, my expression one of perplexity as I watched Rarity move off the lounge chair and start towards me. "Now, it's best we hurry this along, the sooner you're done, the sooner Twilight can recover from this drama."

Rarity stepped past me, her purple mane hitting me in the face along the way. I turned around, startled by the abruptness of the contact, as well as the smell of lilacs. A different world greeted me as I turned around, where I found myself standing among a large crowd of ponies. Ahead of us a large stage dominated the room, a group of ponies wearing elaborate gowns moving up and down a walkway.

A grey mare with short pink hair stepped up and called out to the audience, "Let's have another round of applause for Suri Polomare's amazing collection!" The ponies around me cheered and hoofed stomped as the last of the dressed up ponies exited the runway. "That fabric! So original!" she called as the pony turned towards the curtains.

I could see Rarity peek out from the curtains, nervously biting her lower lip when a pink mare with a purple curly mane stepped up to her. They exchanged a few words, and I could feel Rarity's anxiousness and cracked sense of pride vibrating from her.

The announcer mare turned back to the audience, cleared her throat and then said, "And now, Rarity from Ponyville with her brand new line—and I mean brand new—Hotel Chic.

A new set of ponies stepped out dressed with an odd variety of garments, ranging from what looked like curtains to even a piece of soap strung up as a necklace. The ponies around me loved it though, as they cheered and clicked their cameras. I stepped around them, moving up near the stage as Rarity's emotions bubbled with excitement.

"Oh! They're liking it! I think I may have just won this thing!" she said, her eyes widening with exuberance. She turned to look out into the audience as she said, "Oh, I can't wait to celebrate with... my friends. They didn't come. What have I done?"

I looked out to see an empty section in the middle of the crowd, roped off and reserved. The cameras continued to click as I felt the turmoil of emotions next to me dip and dive. Guilt, sorrow, remorse and love all battled for dominance in her heart.

The grey mare stepped up to Rarity, a smile spread across her face as she spoke, "Rarity, they all adore you! Aren't you going to tell them about your fabulous pieces?"

Rarity stopped her emotional gymnastics like she'd tripped over the mares words. She bolted off the stage shouting, "I have to go!" She jumped down and ran through the crowd of ponies, and out the main exit door on the other side of the large room.

"Come back at once!" she said, the audience watching as Rarity made her grand exit, "This is unheard of!" She emphasized her disapproval with the stomp of a hoof.

I followed after Rarity, the building shifting as the memory moved to another place in time. As I stepped into the building I found her speaking with a pony moving a luggage cart through the hall.

"Oh, no! Back to Ponyville, I imagine. Oh, they worked so hard on my behalf! And I repaid them with unkindness. What have I done?!" She started to step away, but then turned and then floated a small gem into the pocket of the luggage pony, "Oh... here you are."

"But miss, I–I didn't do anything!" he called at her as she ran from the building. I followed her out into the rain, buzzing my wings as I floated above her, the drizzle soaking us both from head to hoof. Remorse and guilt radiated from her very being as she sang into the gloomy air. She stopped by a small shop, looking into her reflection as her tears fell to join the cascade of water. She moved along in the rain before entering a grand building. I entered behind her, just as she stepped up to the front counter.

"I need a moment with Prim Hemline. I have to rush back to Ponyville, but I just wanted to thank her first for—" she said, just before the mare with pink and curly purple hair interrupted her.

" Uh-uh-uh, you'd best steer clear of Prim for a while. She's pretty furious. Isn't that right?" She nodded to a vanilla colored mare with a blue striped mane next to her.

"Um... yes," she said nervously, her eyes moving to the ground.

Behind me I heard the door swing open, and then a high pitched squee, before seeing Pinkie Pie rush over to give Rarity a hug. Her friends followed behind her, a large mix of emotions wafting off of them.

Rarity smiled with relief, looking her friends over before saying, "There you all are! I can't believe it, I thought you went back home!"

Twilight Sparkle shook her head softly, and then said, "We missed the show because we overslept. Suri told us you lost. I'm really sorry."

"I lost?" Rarity looked momentarily surprised, but then brushed it off with a hoof, "You know what? I don't even care. I'm just happy you're all still here after how I treated you. Taking advantage of your friendship the way I did. How could you ever see past it?"

Applejack cocked an eyebrow, and then deadpanned, "Yeah, you were pretty rotten."

Rainbow Dash turned to look down at Applejack as she hovered, "Wow, Applejack. I know your thing is honesty, but come on!"

Twilight smiled at Rarity, stepped up to look her in the eye, "Last night we may not have seen you at your best, but we know you. And we would never let one thing like that change how we feel about you." The group came together in a hug, a wave of love and compassion almost knocking me backwards.

The memory skipped forwards a bit, returning to a normal flow in time to catch the end of what looked like a stage play. Twilight and her friends were gathered front row seat in an otherwise empty theater. They whistled and cheered while stomping their hooves with enthusiasm. The ponies on stage bowed, and then the curtain closed over them.

The group chatted about Rarity staying in town to make costumes, just before a door opened behind me. I turned to see the quiet vanilla-coat mare walking down towards them.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"Sure. Come on down," Rarity said, moving from her seat to stand at the head of walkway. The mare stopped in front of Rarity, before pulling a small golden cup from her saddlebags, and then handing it Rarity.

"This is the first place trophy for Fashion Week," then, after taking a closer look, Rarity gasped in exclamation, "with my name on it! But I thought I lost!"

The shy mare looked down for a moment, and then smiled softly as she explained. "You didn't. You won. Suri was hoping that if you didn't claim your prize, the judges would consider it a forfeit and first place would go to her. So she lied to make you and your friends go away, and, well, I lied too. I've worked for Suri for so long, I started to believe that it really is everypony for herself in this town. Until I saw how generous you were with your friends and how generous they were with you. It made me start believing there was something better for me out there. So, I-I quit. I brought you something to say thank you."

Rarity brimmed with sympathy, and a bit of pride in this young pony as she smiled at her, "Hm. I suppose you'll need a job now that you're no longer with Suri. How would you like to work for my friend making all the costumes for his next show?" she said. I thought the vanilla mare was going to explode from the sheer happiness and relief that swept over her.

That, right there, was the brightest part of this memory, not the award, but the strength of Rarity's character, and how it affects others. Well, at least I understand the effects that giving to others can have, even if it's still pointless in the long run. The dream shifted in tune with my brightening horn, warping until I could once again see Rarity on the stage. 

Once again the dress ponies walked back towards the center stage, the announcer mare signaling the start of Rarity's run. The strangely dressed ponies moved out onto the runway, the crowd oohing and awing as the ponies struck poses.

Rarity looked out at the crowd, saying to herself, "Oh! They're liking it! I think I may have just won this thing!" Her view then panned over to where her friends were supposed to be seated.

Once again, I could feel the struggle of internal emotions begin to well up inside her. I tuned in to pinpoint her feelings, where I felt her pride in how every pony's work turned out, the love of her friends, and guilt for how she had treated them. As her brain attempted to parse out her emotional state, I pushed at her feelings with my own magic, draining her guilt like I was drinking a milkshake—a milkshake made out of overly sour lemons.

"Rarity, they all adore you! Aren't you going to tell them about your fabulous pieces?" asked Prim Hemline.

She looked out at the crowd once again, and smiled as she spoke, "Of course! It was with the help of my closest friends that I was able to pull this off so quickly!"

The rest of the performance went off without issue. Rarity was presented with her award, and afterwards when she exited the grand hall,  I followed her in time to see all of her friends enter the building.

"Rarity, I'm sorry we missed the performance," Twilight said, just after Pinkie Pie ran up to give Rarity a hug. "We accidentally slept in after last night."

"Ah, yes, about last night, I'm terribly sorry for the way I treated all of you. You're my friends, and I took advantage of your kindness. I hope you'll forgive me." Rarity said, small tears beginning to form under her eyes.

"We understand Rarity," Fluttershy said, speaking softly to Rarity, "Stress can bring out the worst in anypony, especially in the fashion business, trust me, I know."

"Well, I want you all to know that your hard work took first place!" Rarity said, holding the trophy out in her magic. "And to celebrate, we're going to an exclusive viewing of the Hinny and the Hills.

The group of ponies jumped together for a hug, all of them giggling and smiling as a sour looking Suri watched them from a distance.

She turned to the vanilla mare that shadowed her, and almost shouted into her face, "This is all your fault, Coco! I'm not supposed to lose, and I blame you for all of it! You're fired!"

Coco had begun backing away as she was beaten verbally, and, at Suri's last statement, had broken into tears. Turning away from Suri, Coco ran out past Twilight and her friends, towards the exit. I felt a twinge of sympathy from Rarity, before it was covered up by anger and a sense of righteousness.  

"Come on girls," Rarity said, ignoring Coco's sudden departure, "this place brings out the worst in ponies, let's go grab a bite to eat before the play!"

That should do it, it might not be a bad memory, but it's not the shining gem of which it was once. A blinding light shone from the ceiling before I was once again getting drenched outside. I was standing in an alleyway with tall buildings on either side of me. In front of me I saw a large wet box on the ground, and inside it was a very battered and cold pony. It had probably been a good length of time, but it appeared to be the mare, Coco, that had run away from Suri that day.

Then, with a sudden lurch, I was thrown backwards in blur of color.


---


Tumbling back onto the white tile that was Twilight's inner sanctum, I could feel that I was starting to tire mentally from all the changes in orientation. I carefully stood up to watch Rarity's jeweled memory fade to gray. Then, as the line of magic disconnected from the pedestal, I experienced a sudden and severe case of dizziness. The room shook violently in front of me, and I fell to the floor, my vision going black.


---


Where am I? What had just happened to me? I slowly opened my eyes to see the floating blackness of subconsciousness beneath me. I looked around to hopefully understand what had happened. The void filled my vision, and not even the stars of memories made themselves known. Then I heard a sound. It was soft, and short, but I knew I hadn't imagined it. I moved towards what I hoped was the right direction, and then I heard it again. It sounded like an instrument of some kind, probably with strings attached.

“Hello? Is anyone there?" I called out into the darkness. The sounds stopped, and from the distance I could feel some type of emotional presence.

"You must leave this place. Leave, or become lost in obscurity." a female voice called back to me. I didn't recognize it, but when I tried to speak to the invisible voice again, I felt something hit me hard against my face.


---


I bolted upright, gasping for breath. I was back in the chamber of pedestals, which was the same as it had appeared before now. Except something did seem different. The tiles seemed less bright, and there was a strange feeling of gloom that had descended upon the room. 

One more, and then I can finish my mission. I stepped up to the final tome, which was decorated with pink balloons and confetti. I opened it with my magic, and a pink hoof reached out and grabbed my horn, yanking me inside.


> Tea and Cupcakes
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was thrown into the void as if I had been shot from a cannon. I felt something gripping my horn, and then looked up to see Pinkie Pie dragging me through the ether. She was staring out ahead of us, a look of pure bliss and joy across her face. As I observed her closed eyes and glowing cheeks, I concluded that it was the most peaceful I had ever seen her. The wind whipped through her mane, the two of us flying forward towards an unknown destination.

As we continued to soar through the nothingness, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax just a bit. The wind that shouldn't exist brushed across my mental self, and I sighed as my mind uncoiled from the mountain of magical stress that had built up. Then I heard Pinkie Pie giggle, after which I opened my eyes to see her smiling down at me. It was one of the most surreal experiences in my life, and considering where I was, and what had happened in the last few hours, that was definitely saying something.

We somehow came to a smooth landing as I felt blades of grass brush against my chitin. I gawked at the sudden appearance of two comfy cushions, along with a table complete with cake and cups of what smelt like tea. Pinkie released her grip on me and moved to one of the cushions. With a simple wave of the hoof, she gestured me to take a seat on the other side of the table. I moved wordlessly as she directed, and fell into the cushion with a puffing sound.

"So, now what?' I asked, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Now we eat, Silly Billy. This my own little party for you," said Pinkie Pie, after which she took a cup of tea into her hoof and sipped it.

"A party for me? Why? Is my being here something to celebrate?" I asked, my voice punctuating my confusion.

"It's your 'Welcome to Twilight's Mind' party," she said cheerfully. I blinked rapidly, trying to comprehend the fuzzy pink logic. "I mean, I know what you’re doing isn't a good thing, but Twilight said she's okay with it. So I have to try to be okay with it too," she continued while setting her cup back onto the table.

"Uh, I guess it's fine then," I said uncertainly, "I guess I'm still a little surprised that Twilight would knowingly allow me into her thoughts."

"Well, she doesn't know you're here right now, but she thought this kind of thing could happen one day, so that's why we're talking." Pinkie Pie pirouetted while picking up a plate full of pastry. "So, we're going to enjoy some cake while I talk about Twilight, and then I'll ask you one simple question."

"I'd really rather just get on with it, Pinkie Pie, if that's possible," I answered as she brought me a large slice of multi layered pastry. As Pinkie laid the plate in front of me, she bent her neck down to look me directly in the eyes. It was in this moment, as I gazed into her eyes, that I truly understood where the fires of Tartarus burned. "Never mind," I muttered, after staving off a shudder of panic. I enveloped the plate in my magic, and retrieved a fork from the table, and then partook of the magical marvel of morsels.

"MMM," I said as I slowly chewed. Changelings don't have to eat much solid food, as it doesn't nourish us like emotional food, but this tasted better than anything I'd ever eaten. After swallowing, I said as much to Pinkie Pie, to which she smiled and nodded.

"It's one of my favorite recipes, I've been preparing it for years, just for this moment." Pinkie Pie took a bite herself, and after she was finished dealing with the euphoria it seemed to bring upon her, she opened her mouth to say, "It's not like I had anything better to do, you know, being stuck here in Twilight's mind."

My mouth hung open in shock, my fork hovering inches in front of me, "You mean to tell me you've been awake here for all this time?" Pinkie Pie simply smiled at me, before taking another bite of confectionery goodness.

"Twilight is a good pony, and an amazing friend, but even she has memories that she keeps hidden," Pinkie Pie said solemnly. "That's why we're here: to guard her mind, from outsiders like you, or even from herself."

"I'm starting to understand a little, I guess," I said, before I finished off my own little plate of perfection.

"I don't care if I'm stuck here, because that's just how much Twilight means to me, but she is also keeping certain secrets locked away."

Pinkie Pie got up from her chair, moving towards me with determination. "Twilight is the smartest pony I know, and even she needs help sometimes, but the magic keeps me from trying to leave this place."

"What does this have to do with me, Pinkie?" I asked her, my eyes slowly growing wider as this conversation continued.

"Listen to me, Null, Twilight does have a secret, but she's not just hiding it from everypony; she's even deceiving herself." She took a deep breath, and moved to look me dead in the eyes again, but this time her gaze was of a concerned friend, an almost pleading look, "I know you have your mission, and that after this, you still might cause us problems, but I hope you can help Twilight."

I swallowed hard as she turned away from me, before murmuring, "I'm still not sure what you expect me to do, Pinkie, I have my orders," I said, before standing up from my cushion. "But if there is indeed a secret buried here, I will find it."

Pinkie Pie slowed turned around at my words, and as her face came into view, I felt something crack inside me. Beautiful glittering tears streamed down her face as she smiled back at me.

"Thank you, Null. That's all I could want," her voice rasped out, which made my chest seize in a strange way.  "Null, I'm ready to ask my question," she sniffed, before brushing a few tears off her face.

"Okay, I'll answer whatever it is you want to know, Guardian Pinkie Pie," I stated sincerely.

"Alright, here it is: Why... is your name Null?"

I almost fell over in response, catching myself, I looked up at her and said, "That's it? That's all you want to know?" Pinkie Pie nodded to me, before reaching down to scoop up another slice of cake. "Alright then, but can you fix me another slice as well? This story won’t be so bland if I'm eating something so wonderful." Pinkie Pie passed me another plate as I returned to my seat.

"I've been told since I was born that I was a compete waste of space. Not from any action I took, but from the fact that I had no purpose. I wasn't born with the skills to be a tunneler, or the might of a warrior caste. I couldn't even disguise myself properly. All of this was determined upon my birth, that I would be good at nothing. So that is what they named me—Nothing."

Pinkie Pie gazed at me barely blinking, before she said, "But wait, I thought your name was Null?"

I nodded solemnly to her, "Yes, ‘Null’ means nothing. It's the name I chose for myself after years of strife. You see, Pinkie, I am the hive’s greatest user of a specialized magic. I was born with nothing inside me, no hope, no talent, and certainly no real magical ability, but because I had nothing, I found that my mind was more free than others. Without the normal restrictions of changeling castes, I went on to discover I could use the most elusive magic in the world: Oneiromancy."

I stood up, setting my plate and fork down on the table and started to pace as Pinkie Pie looked on while I spoke, "This magic that was solely my own in the hive was eventually discovered by Queen Chrysalis herself, and so I was called to her throne room. When I arrived she joked that there was nothing written down for my name, so I was allowed to chose another more suited to my talents. So I chose Null, for it was what I felt was the most appropriate that I could have taken. I trained for a few years after that, leading up to the Invasion of Canterlot, but this here, is the biggest responsibility to the hive I've ever been given, and I cannot fail.

"I am nothing, Pinkie Pie, but my purpose and my mission."  I said with finality.

"I think that you're wrong, Null, but you might need a little help to figure it out for yourself," she said cryptically. "Remember what I said, Null. Find Twilight's secret and help her face it."

"I have no plans on leaving this place without learning what it is that’s so important, Pinkie Pie," I stated with purpose.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me," Pinkie said suddenly, her eyes going wide, "Surprise, Silly Billy!" Then she pushed something on the table, and my cushion shot me into the air as I heard a strange sound from underneath me.

Flying through dream-space, my eyes widened as I took in the stars of memory above me. They sparkled magically, and as I drew closer, I began to distinguish the different colors within each one. I turned my head around in time to glimpse the grass below disappear from view. I looked back to find myself hurtling towards a bright pink star. When I was only a short distance from it, I was able to see flashing images within it. Anticipating the impact, I closed my eyes a few meters away from the bright magical sphere.

I hit something gooey, my chitin becoming covered in a squishy substance. I squirmed my way upwards, pushing my hooves forward blindly in search of an exit. Finally, I exploded outwards, my eyes opening to fresh air and blue skies. I looked down to find that I had erupted from large pink cake. I surveyed the immediate area and spotted Pinkie Pie a short distance from me. She was standing over a very scared-looking Rainbow Dash. I moved closer in order to hear their conversation, bits of frosting dripping from me as I walked.

"Parties. Are. Serious! And you have my certified Pinkie Party Promise that you will have the best birthday party ever!" Pinkie stated with complete seriousness.

Rainbow Dash, who was still trapped by the pink party pony and had decided not to argue, simply said, "Okay." Pinkie Pie moved back to allow Rainbow Dash to roll off her back and back onto her hooves.

Afterwards Pinkie turned to all her friends who had gathered around and said, "Great! Now, who's ready to join this super duper party pony to plan this super duper pa-rty?" After she finished addressing the crowd, I couldn't be sure, but I swear I saw Pinkie Pie was looking at me.

From behind me, a stallion called out in answer to her question, "I am." I spun around, totally not spooked at all, to see a light molasses colored earth pony wearing a poncho and sporting a large hat tilted down over his face.

Every pony gasped as the pony in front of me blew on a small whistle of sorts. "Who are you, stranger?" Pinkie Pie said from behind me.

"Name's Cheese Sandwich. I plan parties," he said, stepping slowly forward, his hat still tipped downwards.

"What an amazing coincidence! I'm Pinkie Pie, and I'm planning a party!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Cheese Sandwich turned his head away from her for effect before muttering, "Oh, it's no coincidence, my little pony. My Cheesy Sense was a-tingling, telling me a party was in the works."

Pinkie Pie invaded the stallions personal space to say,  "A Cheesy Sense? Ah! Double amazing! I have a Pinkie Sense!"

"Yes. I sensed you did. And I happen to be the premiere party planner in all of Equestria. If there's a party in need, there I'll be." Cheese Sandwich moved past Pinkie Pie, narrowing his eyes before continuing with deadly seriousness, "Be it wingding, hoedown, hootenanny, or shindig, I'm your pony."

Pinkie moved around to speak with everypony, "A pair of party pony planners in Ponyville?! What can be more perfect?!"

Rainbow Dash dived over to her, her eyes wide with excitement, "I'll tell you what—making this party epic! 'Cause this isn't just any birthday. It's also the anniversary of when I moved to Ponyville!"

Rarity, who had simply been watching from the side, pointed out the obvious, "Good heavens, Rainbow Dash, it's your birth-iversary!"

Rainbow Dash nodded, before flying over to Cheese and Pinkie, "Exactly! So what do you say, party planners?"

Pinkie Pie stood on her hind legs, before crossing her hooves and saying, "Oh, I think we can do it!"

"Oh, I don't think so," Cheese Sandwich said, waiting a moment for Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to gasp, before finishing with, "I know so!"

As he finished speaking, he proceeded to fling off his poncho and hat, before bursting into a one of the craziest examples of spontaneous singing I've ever witnessed.

After watching a variety of explosions, disco parties, and a large assortment of cheese based party games, the town finally carried Cheese Sandwich off towards a different area of Ponyville. While the whole thing was rather crazy and loud, I did notice a plunge pertaining to Pinkie Pie's perpetual perkiness. She walked off on her own, her mane going limp across her ears. I followed her as she moped and sung a rather depressing tune to her own reflection. She moved on after looking down over a bridge, and somewhere between Pinkie Pie trying her hoof at construction and other things she's not properly trained for; we finally made it to what seemed to be where she lived. Pinkie slowly made her way into her home, her eyes examining the ground as I followed silently behind her.

The world shook around me, the ground seeming to be pulled out from underneath my hooves. I hit the floor hard, the carpet rubbing roughly against my neck and chest. It seemed that Twilight Sparkle might be waking soon, and that my time was limited. Pinkie Pie, who remained oblivious to my sudden loss of dignity, was looking upon pictures hung along the staircase wall. She took one into her hooves and looked at it with a soft smile. She continued to sing as she moved, my brain too scrambled to catch all the lyrics, however I could still feel an upsurge in her emotions.

As she moved to another picture, I could feel happiness and certainty rise from within her. With the short amount of time I assumed that I had left, I decided to take a risk. Standing up and then sucking in a breath, I drew as much emotion from Pinkie Pie as I could. I drank in her happiness, her devotion to her friends, and her love of making other ponies happy. My chest heaved, which of course was followed by a Chrysalis-tier migraine, causing me to lower my head in pain. Taking in Pinkie Pie's emotions was like eating cake, pie and a triple scoop ice cream float, all in one sitting. I felt like I was going to throw up, and when I looked up to assess the situation, my heart skipped a beat.

"I know you're there," a voice said quietly. My eyes widened as Pinkie Pie slowly walked down the stairs, her hair limply covering her lowered face. "I also know why you're here." she continued in a voice that was becoming increasingly more sinister. In a flash, Pinkie Pie vanished and then I was tackled to the ground with the force of a hundred changelings.

"Ahh!' I said, raising my legs to defend my face. Pinkie stood over me, before knocking my hooves down, and then pinning them to my side.

“You're here to hurt my friends! So, now you're going to be the one hurting." she said with an odd smile, her face close enough to mine to feel her breath against my cheek. Earlier, I thought I saw the fires of Tartarus in her eyes, but now as I was once again locked in a mortal stare-down, all I saw was a dark emptiness. "Something that only steals happiness from others deserves to suffer the same pain for themselves," she growled at me.

Unwilling to be subdued, I channeled magic into my horn to knock her back, the worst mistake I could have made. In a single hoof strike, Pinkie brought her leg down atop my horn, disintegrating it as if it were made of sand. I screamed as a sharp mental pain ripped through my already traumatized brain.


---


Darkness surrounded me… again. As I lay flat against the ‘ground,’ I tried to remember what had happened in Pinkie's memory. A phantom pain flashed across my consciousness, making my hoof go to my horn in response. It was intact however, but the pain still lingered.

What had gone wrong? What in the name of Chrysalis had caused such a personality shift? As I quietly contemplated my most recent failures as a changeling, I heard the pluck of a string. Oh, I'm here again. Wherever 'here' is, I still don't know. Getting up slowly, I crept blindly towards the sound. I still couldn't make anything out, but as I moved soundlessly, I heard it again. The pluck of a string reverberated across the ocean of darkness before me, the slightest bit of light pulsing past my hooves. I moved fast as notes began to carry through the abyss, a dim light growing in the distance.

The melody started to become more structured, and the closer I got, the more my hoof-steps synced with the rhythm. A gentle, but still driving rhythm was strum across a set of strings, beginning the telling of some story not yet heard. I could start to make out a voice, and thought I recognized it from earlier, but it the difference in tone made it hard to tell. The music itself seemed to brighten the area around me, and as I drew nearer, I picked up a few words that the mare was singing.

"A kind voice, a gentle face," she sang out, a hum of light reverberating out to me. I could almost see her at this point, a shadowy figure sitting next to an open flame in front of me. As I squinted in an attempt to make out her face, I heard the clink of something metal behind me. Hard shackles suddenly snapped closed upon my hooves, before they tightened down and began pulling me backwards. I opened my mouth to scream, but was then yanked hard, the sudden acceleration removing the air from my lungs. As the chains clanked and clattered, I could make out one last line of lyrics, "So much love you are!" the singer belted into the ocean of Twilight's mind.


---


I think I might be going insane, or at the very least, I'm delirious from drinking too many emotions. I look up to see evil Pinkie Pie tightening a set of hoof-cuffs around each of my limbs. I was hanging in the air against a wall, staring into what I presumed to be her bedroom. Pinkie Pie moved to exit the room, but stopped at a full length mirror to scowl at her own reflection, and then left. I pulled at my chains, trying to pull a hoof free from the metal shackles, but to no avail. They were extremely tight, and I was only exhausting myself by trying escape by physical means. Automatically, I went to call upon my magic, but received the equivalent of a sledgehammer to the forehead. My horn was still gone, and now I was crying with pain as I felt liquid drip down from the gaping wound where it had once sat.

From somewhere inside the house, I could hear Pinkie Pie saying, "No Mr. Plant, I'm not upset. I mean, why would I be?" Footsteps continued up the stairs, signalling my captors return. "My friends are too busy blowing me off for the super amazing Cheese Sandwich. I can't bother them with something like a little changeling problem."

I gulped as she reentered the room, and almost fainted again as I saw the chef’s knife in her hoof. I squirmed automatically in my restraints as she approached me, holding the knife up in front of her.

"You've been a very bad changeling, haven't you?" she said while she carefully traced the knife against my chitin, right above my heart. "Invading my friend's mind, torturing each of us and stealing our emotions. Yes, you've been a naughty little bug, and now, Pinkamena is going to punish you." My pupils shrunk to tiny dots at her words, and I nearly lost my bladder as she said, "I'm going to take back all the love you stole, and give it back to the ponies you hurt." With her last words, Pinkamena pushed harder with her knife, with more and more force until I could hear something begin to crack.

"Pinkamena Diane Pie!" A shrill voice cried out from behind her. Pinkamena withdrew her knife and turned around, to see that nopony was there. And then we both saw it, from over in the corner stood a puffy haired Pinkie Pie, who was scowling sternly at her. "What in Celestia's mane are you doing!?"

Pinkamena slowly walked towards the mirror, her knife still in-hoof, and then said, "I'm helping our friends Pinkie, haven't you seen what he's done?”

Pinkie Pie, the one in the mirror, shook her head before saying, "You were about to become a really bad pony, you know that don't you?'

Pinkamena stomped her hoof down, before yelling at her reflection, "Who cares about what I do, Pinkie Pie? Not my friends, not anypony." She held the chef’s knife up in front of her, and then said, "I'm the only pony that really cares, that just wants to see everypony smile." Pinkamena then spun around, pointing her blade at me and almost screamed, "But he's stealing their smiles, our smiles, from us. He wants to hurt our friends and take our happiness."

"You know that Twilight is okay with him being here, Pinkamena, and that she's aware of what might happen," Pinkie pie said reasonably.

"Well maybe Twilight is the crazy or maybe I am. But what I do know is that these things don't deserve a chance!" Pinkamena roared, before she started to approach me again.

"Your trust in our friends disappoints me Pinkamena, have you forgotten that everypony deserves a chance? Don't you remember Gilda?" Pinkie Pie called out from behind her alter ego.

Pinkamena stopped, her look of desperation and anger faulting slightly, "Yes..." she said aloud.

"Your friends have faith in each other, and you trust them, but you get so wrapped up in your own world that sometimes you forget that!" Pinkie Pie called out. "Now go ask Cheese Sandwich if he would like to help with your party planning, because you know fully well that your friends haven't forgotten you," she commanded herself. Pinkamena's hair puffed out like a marshmallow, returning to its normal shape. She placed the knife on the dresser and then dashed out the door, all the while singing about cupcakes.

The real pink pony stepped out of the mirror, a shimmering light emitting from behind her as she moved to me. Slowly and carefully, she removed each of the hoof cuffs with a key, and helped me down to the floor. She gave me a small smile, and a sad shake of her head.

"I'm sorry you had to see me at my worst, but I guess I should have warned you about how crazy I can be sometimes." Pinkie Pie said.

"Ugh,” I said, reaching to rub my hornless forehead with a hoof. "I suppose it was my fault, but I guess that's immaterial now."

"You've done enough here, Null, and now it's time for you to move on," she said seriously.

"Thank you, Pinkie Pie, for not just letting me suffer in this nightmare." I said with complete sincerity.

"I hope you're ready, Null the changeling, for Twilight Sparkle’s deepest secret awaits you. It's up to you from here on out. I won’t be able to help, but I expect you to keep your promise."

I stopped for a moment, looking into her deep blue eyes and feeling a small twist in my gut as I said, "I promise I'll try, Pinkie. I can't leave without finding it anyway, or I'm a dead little changeling."

"I think when you're done, you'll truly have a deep understanding of Twilight Sparkle," Pinkie told me, before moving towards me.

"Well, I think that was the entire point of this..." I stopped as Pinkie Pie pulled a actual pie from the ether, and then threw it at me.

"Pie Pie!" she giggled as it soared towards me, covering my eyes with gooey white frosting.


---


I opened my eyes, and the frosting was gone. I gazed around Twilight's chamber of inner thought as the last book's cover faded, and the magical line receded into the arcane circle. There was a flash of light before the inner symbols of the magical circle began to rotate. The runes spun around as a small opening began to form between them. The ground itself was disappearing into nothingness as I watched the magic work. Then, as the opening reached the edge of the circle, the spinning symbols stopped, and the room was momentarily still.

I stepped towards it, and was then thrown forward as the ground shook violently. I looked around as I heard the sound of crashing from far above me. I scrambled for the hole as the chunks of marble started to fall from above me. I fell down into the opening, and dropped to the ground several meters further down. A large piece of marble crashed into the ground above me, and after looking up, I saw that it completely blocked the opening.

Not getting out 'that' way. I finally took the time to observe my surroundings, and my mouth fell open at what I saw. Facing me, across a narrow strip of white light, was a platform with an oak door. The door itself was carved with Twilight Sparkle’s cutie mark, and was the only other thing in this room that I could see. I moved carefully across the narrow path, looking to my left and right to check for any surprises. Instead what I saw was more disconcerting than anything of which I could imagine. Completely surrounding the path of light I stood on was an endless pool of black liquid. And it wasn't just an empty void like before, but something that seemed to move like an actual body of water. If my hunch was right, and I hoped it wasn't, this was Twilight's unconscious mind. A place where thoughts that were almost never accessed were stored.

Stepping more carefully, I continued forward, doing my best to not think about what might happen should I fall into the murk. As I neared my objective, the narrow walkway began to widen, and then I stopped, feeling that something was off. I turned my head to look around again, but still didn't see anything beside the door, the endless ocean, and the way that I had came. I shrugged, moving forward to examine the door, and then the demon appeared.

From the darkness above me, I heard a roar, followed by a giant purple dragon falling directly in front me. His impact knocked me into the air, my bones rattling from the vibrations. His eyes narrowed at me, and I could see little puffs of fire emit from his mouth. He crouched down, his green spikes sticking up as he opened his mouth to send a wave of flame at me. The force of the heat reached me before the flames did, and my already airborne body was knocked sideways.

I splashed into the murk behind me, my eyes closing instinctively upon impact. Frantically, I moved my hooves to try and paddle back to the surface, but was horrified to find that I didn't even move an inch. In fact, I was quickly falling downwards to my doom. I opened my wings, and tried to fly out, but all they did was buzz, and I continued to fall unhindered.

Down… down… down… into the depths of Twilight's forgotten memories.

> Memories of a Sorceress Girl
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notice: There is a musical part of this chapter, if you wish to hear the music that goes along with it, please see the authors notes.



For a time that was longer than I bothered to count, I continued to drift downwards into the seemingly bottomless void. In the first few hours, I had desperately tried to swim or fly upwards, but succeeded only in exhausting myself. In the end I simply closed my eyes to rest, as there was no change in lighting. 

I'm eventually going to reach the bottom, but there doesn't seem to be a way out anyway. In an hour or so, Twilight would be waking to see an unconscious changeling at her bedside. There's no doubt that I'd be jailed, and probably tortured for weeks. It is however, unlikely, that I would be killed on sight. My journey with Twilight and her friends had given me the feeling that they were disinclined to violence. 

It might not even matter what they did with my body, as I was most likely too far lost in Twilight. To leave a mind, I always had to return to its topmost layer, in this case, the dream of Ponyville in which I had entered. If I could not escape this dark forgotten part of Twilight's mind, then it was likely that I would never again see the waking world. I was trapped here, forever, inside the memories of the greatest enemy of the hive.

Suddenly, an image struck me and I actually laughed out loud. At the thought of Twilight jumping out of bed and knocking the shell of a changeling over to the floor, followed by a shrill shriek and commotion, I couldn't help but chuckle, thinking about the look on Twilight's face, going from surprised, to horrified, to confused in a short span of seconds. The scene played itself out in my mind, an amused grin finding its way across my face, even as I continued my descent into the final frontier.

With my eyes still closed, I let my mind drift away to the moments I'd avoided thinking about too hard in the past hour or so. While it was true that time had been of the essence, I had still been disinclined to give further thought to the memories I had witnessed and destroyed. Each moment had been unique, and yet each shared certain similarities that I couldn't help but notice. Each of Twilight's friends had a strong connection to not only Twilight herself, but to each other. The strength of their friendships had been enough to not only give me a run for my bits, but also for Twilight to construct a protective ward over her mind. 

It must be nice to have some-ling to have your back. I thought back to the first memory I had visited, recalling the cloudy bedroom with ease. Fluttershy had been so kind, yet firm with Rainbow Dash, telling her what she needed to hear, even if it hurt at first. The compassion she showed, even as her friends were lost, was remarkable. 

Then I remembered Rainbow Dash, and how she was willing to sacrifice her dream, her desired future, for her moral code. How fiercely she'd cared for her friends, and would hold her head high, rather than allow her self respect to be tarnished. I've never seen a pony that seemed that devoted to those about whom she cared. 

Next was Applejack, the pony who had struggled between the false happiness of a lie, and the painful realization of the truth. The importance she placed on not only the honesty of one's words, but the truthfulness of some-ling's soul, was astounding. Her strong character had allowed her to speak out, and also own her own mistakes, especially in the face of doubt. 

Afterwards, my mind drifted to Rarity and the fashion show. While the whole thing seemed arbitrary at first, I had come to see how big Rarity's inner self could be. How she gave to others, not just of material gifts, but of her own time and dedication, was nothing short of ludicrous. Changelings thought only of the hive, and though it was a collective process of taking from ponies, and then giving to the hive, it was more of a fundamental need, compared to Rarity's internal desires.

Finally, I thought about Pinkie Pie. What an experience that had been, like drifting through a cotton candy hurricane over an active volcano. 
Everything that she had said to me while we sat and ate stuck with me even now. The tears that ran down her face as we spoke of Twilight and how much Pinkie Pie wanted for me to help her friend. I remembered following her through the dream of Ponyville, and the unbridled happiness that I had tasted emanating from her. And then the world turned on its head as she had threatened to carve the happiness of her friends out of my chest. What a strange encounter that had been. It was one I would likely remember for the rest of my life, however dismally short or painfully long that had now become.

All the energy I had gathered from them seemed to stir as I recalled each memory. Their questions shone down upon my mind like stars in the sky, each voice speaking softly into my ear as I continued to drift ever further into the abyss.

"Have you ever done anything for someone, just because it felt good inside, because it seemed like a nice thing to do?" whispered Fluttershy.

"Would you violate your own morals and principles if you thought it would impress someone that you respected?" called Rainbow Dash.

"If everyone around you believed in somethin’, somethin’ that ya knew was a lie, would ya' be honest with 'em, even if they might hate ya' for it?" said an sincere Applejack.

"Have you ever shared yourself with someone, simply because of what they meant to you?" Rarity inquired in a hushed voice.

And then finally, "Why... is your name Null?" Pinkie Pie's voice echoed into my mind.

I pondered these questions as I fell, each one taking a turn to nibble on my brain, while also making something inside me squirm uncomfortably. They seemed to circle me, one after another, pulling at my stubborn will little by little. I could almost feel the presence of Twilight's friends around me, but when I opened my eyes to look, I was greeted only by darkness. 

Finally, a feeling against my back brought my mind back to reality. I had finally reached the bottom, which felt solid enough beneath my hooves as I rolled over. I scanned the area around me, searching for anything, any sign of light, and found nothing. I moved my hooves forward, and was given the smallest comfort that I could at least walk down here. I moved forward quietly, looking and listening for anything of note. The perpetual darkness was unyielding. 

I walked for what felt like hours, becoming increasingly more desperate as I thought that at any moment, Twilight would wake up, and I would become a sitting target for the pony princess. I started to trot, moving faster and faster while my brain revolved around itself. At some point I had gone from a trot to a full gallop, my body attempting to match the speed of my racing mind. As I ran, the only thing that could be heard above the thundering of my hooves on whatever ground underneath me was the knocking of my own heart in my throat. 

My lungs labored. My heavy breathing was a representation of my mental stress in a world that required no air to breathe, or blood to pump. I might have continued to run for some time, if not for a small misstep that sent me sprawling onto my my chest. I slid a short ways, and then loosed a sigh as my head slumped in defeat and self-embarrassment. 

I closed my eyes once more and prepared to resign myself to living on the bottom of Twilight's unconscious mind for the rest of my days, or, perhaps, until I eventually go insane. It was at this point that I felt it. A vibration through the ground had barely tickled my chitin and snapped me out of my depression. I pressed my ear the ground, and sure enough, I could feel the thumping of sound being carried past me. I hurried to my hooves, and then looked around frantically for the source of the noise. And then I spotted it, a tiny glimmer of light in the distance. I trotted briskly towards it, a strange sense of relief washing over me. 

At best, they might know a way out of here, and in the very least, I'd have company during my immeasurable stay in this abyss. I diminished my pace to a slow walk as the mare's voice became clear enough to make out.

"Many a waltz spun awkwardly out of the rain, 
she was an anxious refrain." 

Her voice was gentle and calming, but I could also detect a sense of melancholy as she sang. I drifted ever closer, slowly becoming mesmerized the longer I listened,

"Memories of a sorceress girl
Endless fascination with the secrets of the world."

Huh? Is she singing about Twilight? At this point I could make out the blue star-covered hat she wore, which came up to a tall point that had flopped over. Her silver and blue mane seemed to flow in a non-existent wind. I stopped a short ways before her little campfire to listen more intently to her song.

"Dreams of the youth: those cute, little, movements. 
Darlin', emit and combine, particles-signs that transform, 
a body into flame." 

Such a mix of somber and loving emotions seemed to waft from her as she sang, each note on her instrument filled with the same feelings. I kept listening, leaving her uninterrupted for as long as I could. I understood that the song was about Twilight, and was written with love and compassion, but the second verse made other questions stumble about my mind.  

"A kind voice, a gentle face,
A friend who vanished without a trace
A blue body, an illusionist on stage… ”

I crept a little closer, straining my eyes against the dark contrast of this void to see that this mare's coat was indeed blue. It's probably a safe bet that she's part of the song as well. Unfortunately, my movement didn’t go unnoticed, which seemed evident when she immediately stopped playing.

"So, you made it here after all, then?" she said, a little bit of annoyance creeping into her voice. 

"Well, it wasn't on purpose, if that's what you mean," I responded in turn.

The blue mare harrumphed, turning her head away from me as she spoke, "Trixie tried to warn you, but you didn't listen, no one ever listens to Trixie..." she trailed off at the end.

"Why are you talking like that?" I asked, tilting my head sideways. 

"The Great and Powerful Trixie always talks like this! It's how a performer is supposed to act." Trixie looked down and muttered under her breath, "Not that I've had anypony to perform for in a long time." She looked solemnly at the musical instrument lying next to her.

"Alright, then," I said, before moving to stand next to her. "May I sit with you?'  

Trixie shrugged. "Knock yourself out, it's not like I was expecting anypony anyway." 

"So, um, Trixie, may I ask why you're here, at the bottom-most part of Twilight's mind?"

Trixie closed her eyes, a small sad smile gracing her lips. "I'm here because Twilight put me here." I waited for a few moments, which Trixie took as the queue to continue, "I'm not really Trixie, Null. I'm the representation of her, created by Twilight’s mind. I'm here because she doesn't want to think about me. This place," Trixie swept her hooves towards the areas around us, "is where all Twilight's suppressed thoughts go. Whether it's because she's actually forgotten about them, or magically sealed them away." Trixie looked down at her hooves, a single drop of water falling to splash onto the dark ground.

"Why would Twilight trap you down here? What memory is so bad that she'd make a magical effort to avoid thinking about it?" I asked, now very curious.

"Trixie will tell you her story, but only if you will promise one thing," Trixie answered, looking me straight in the eye.

"What would you need me to do?" I asked, looking around us.

Trixie gave a tiny, but noticeable smirk, and then said, "The Great and Powerful Trixie happens to know a way out, but... " Trixie looked down, her cheeks tinting red, "Trixie needs your help to do it."

"Well, out with it then. I don't have any plans to make Twilight's mind my permanent residence," I said flatly. 

"Alright, alright. So years ago, Trixie came to Ponyville to put on a show," Trixie stood up and threw her hooves into the air, as if looking over a crowd. "It was glorious and fantastic! Trixie had done well." Then Trixie's face darkened as she lowered her head. "Then Trixie's ego got the better of her, and almost caused ponies to get hurt. It if wasn't for Twilight, who knows what might have happened." 

"And that's why you're here?" I asked, a bit confused.

"Trixie is not yet done with her story!" Trixie snapped at me, before taking in a breath, then pushing a hoof out from her chest and exhaling. "So after Trixie's humiliating defeat, Trixie eventually returned to Ponyville. Trixie had acquired a powerful artifact that gave her powers even greater than Twilight, and so Trixie challenged Twilight to a duel. Trixie won, of course, and then I banished Twilight from Ponyville."

"Wow, you'd give my queen a run for her bits," I remarked, chuckling softly.

"Hush you," Trixie growled. "Eventually Twilight returned, and beat Trixie at her own game. She put on a fantastic performance, with illusions, some of which Trixie had never even conceived!" Trixie hung her head, perhaps to avoid looking in my direction. I could feel a cocktail of emotions bubbling to the surface, and was having trouble deciphering all of them. "Trixie left Ponyville after that, shamed by Twilight's performance, and ashamed of my own actions." 


"That's Trixie's story, Null, and now I'll tell you mine," she said after sniffling. "I used to live above, with everypony else in Twilight's dreams, but she changed after a while, especially after she became a princess," Trixie was soaked in sadness, her eyes beginning to water as she spoke, "Twilight is ashamed of me, of what I represent."

"And what would that be?" I asked legitimately curious at this point.

"I'm her first real failure at friendship," Trixie sniffed, small tears dripping from her chin. She had turned away from me again, but I could still taste her sorrow. It was similar to what I had felt when every-ling had turned away from me, seeing me as nothing. "Twilight didn't try to really try to befriend Trixie, only lecture her on what friendship means." Trixie spun around to glare at me, "Twilight is horrified by the idea of failure, especially a failure in friendship. So she threw me into this pit, wishing to never think about what happened... what could have been."

Then I opened my mouth to insert my hoof, "But you're not really alive, it's not like any of this is actually real."

The fire in Trixie's eyes was vaguely reminiscent of Pinkie Pie hours earlier, her voice booming into the darkness, "You're going to tell me that the pain I feel isn't real! That just because we're inside Twilight mind that everything I care about is immaterial!" Trixie stomped towards me, her face livid, "I should just let you rot in here, you stupid bug, you would really deserve it!" I stumbled backwards, landing on my side as Trixie loomed over me. 

"I'm... I'm sorry," I managed to say. 

Trixie's face of imminent doom lessened slightly, "Really?" 

"Ye-yeah," I stammered, "Something inside is telling me that what I said was really rude, and that I should apologize."

"Hah!" Trixie laughed, pulling away from me. "You've got pieces of Twilight's friends inside you, it's not much of a surprise."

"What!" I said, looking down at my chest, and then proceeding to inspect my hooves.

"Yeah, I'm still wondering how you haven't noticed, but inside you, you hold the essence of each of Twilight's closest friends. It's because of what you had to do to get here."

"You saw all that then," I said, rubbing a hoof against the back of my neck. 

"I'm part of Twilight's mind, so yeah, I can see everything that happens. I just can't leave this place, or comfort Twilight like I want."

"So, what now then, Trixie?" I said seriously.

"Now," she said, a funny little grin crossing her face, "we sing!"

I blinked rapidly, not entirely sure I'd understood her correctly. "We what!?" Trixie smiled at me as she picked up her many-stringed instrument, before gently settling it across a bent hoof. 

"I don't know if you noticed, Null, but our magic doesn't allow us to travel out of here," she said, before pulling a hoof across the strings. They resonated outwards, a serene look crossing Trixie's face. "The only way to leave this dark place is to draw Twilight's attention to this place. And there's no stronger magic in Princess of Friendship's mind than the magic of friendship itself!" she said, barely suppressing a giggle.

"But why do we have to sing?" I whined at her. 

"Music is the easiest way to speak your true feelings," she said simply, strumming her instrument again. "I'll teach you the words, and what to do, and then we'll put on a real show for Twilight!”

"If all you had to do was sing, then why do you need me?" I asked, still confused by the sudden need for me to embarrass myself. 

"Well, if you hadn't noticed, I was singing when you got here, but it didn't really have an effect. Well, I mean, it called out to you, when you were lost, but it didn't do anything for Twilight," she smirked at me, before pulling the instrument closer to her. "I've spent a long time writing this song for Twilight, I feel it really shows how amazing Twilight can be, and yeah... " she trailed off. "Look, I need you because Twilight doesn't consider me a friend, but you, you have all of her friends inside you."

My eyes widened as her explanation started to click in my head.

"And it's not like you have anything better to do," Trixie smirked at me. I shrugged, finally conceding the argument. 


---


It took quite a while. Whether because of my previous lack of ever trying to sing, or my four left hooves, I don't know. But, eventually, I'd managed to work it out in spite of Trixie's groans and critiques.

"It doesn't have to be perfect," I complained for the fourth time.

"Well, Trixie would like it to be as close as possible," Trixie quipped back at me, "Trixie still has some standards after all." 

"Whatever, can we start now?" I asked, hoping to finally leave this dark pit.

"I think so, but let me say something first," Trixie said, moving up next to me.

"Yeah, what is it?" I asked.

"You realize that this will probably wake Twilight up, right?"

"I'm aware of that Trixie, and I will take whatever comes afterwards," I answered solemnly. "But I'd rather go face her above, than be trapped down here forever with you." I winced slightly at what I’d just said. "No offense." 

Trixie laughed at that, sporting the first true smile I had seen on her face. "I'd rather not have you bugging me for the next few decades either."

"Oh, very funny, Trixie," I said, smiling back at her.

"Anyway, bug-butt, let's do this," she said, her face becoming serious once again.

"Alright, you start then." I stepped up next to her. 

Trixie nodded, pulling her hoof over the strings in a single chord. It rang out across the darkness, a vibration rippling across the fabric of Twilight’s unconscious mind. She turned her head and gave me an encouraging smile, closing her eyes as she did so. Taking a breath, she looked up and out into the darkness and began playing,

"Many a waltz spun awkwardly out of the rain
she was an anxious refrain.
Takin' your time with the imperceptible
Beautiful myths of becoming animal
Wasp to the orchid, orchid to the winter
Regress is to move towards lesser difference."

I watched in awe as she moved along on her back hooves, her horn glowing to hold down certain string, while her hoof came down in rapid succession. 

"Memories of a sorceress girl
Endless fascination with the secrets of the world. 

Dreams of the youth: those cute, little movements. Darlin',
Emit and combine particles-signs that transform a body into flame."

I straightened up, preparing myself for my entrance into the song. Though I was nervous, I couldn't help but smile at Trixie's enthusiasm as I felt the brilliance of her love radiate into the void. 

"So, tell me that this love is all we are,
this simple story, this carousel we're on.

A flame erupted around me as I changed into a copy of Twilight Sparkle. I stepped forward to sing out in her voice, "This one's a chemist... "

"A little magic, a different kind of spark," she continued, her smile growing as she watched me.

I shifted my form once again, appearing as Applejack, hat and all, to sing, "This one's a friend of mine."

"Our glassy essence just floating in the dark," Trixie sang into the darkness, strumming the notes gleefully.

"This one's an actress,"  I said, as green fire shifted my form to the white unicorn.

"It's how you taught us to conjure up," she continued.

"This one's name Pinkie Pie," my hair frizzed and I had the sudden need to bake something.

"A little kindness to take inside our hearts," I heard Trixie's voice call out.

"This one's for kindness," I sang, smiling at my butter-yellow wings.

"Our will to power -- together, not apart," Trixie said to follow after me.

A rainbow mane fell across my face as I sang, "This one can really fly!" 

"Trace of the other, a truly modern art," Trixie finished.

I shifted into a copy of Trixie, before softly singing, "This one's my favorite."

I could see Trixie’s fur take on a scarlet hue as she moved into the chorus of the song.

"All that you are and all that you'll be is harmony. You are so silly."

She then picked up the beat a little, nodding her head to me to lead. 

I shifted form once again to the purple princess, moving near Trixie as I sang in Twilight's voice, Trixie backing me up. 

"A kind voice, a gentle face,
A friend who vanished without a trace
A blue body, an illusionist on stage...
Twitcha-twitcha, can you stop a moment?
What does Hegel mean by "Absolute Spirit"?
So much love you are!"

Trixie smiled at me, strumming along as I started my solo,

"This is the place for us, the place for us
The place we'd really love, or learn to love
To join our separate lines, to seize and multiply
A disassembly line extracting from you
Comb your hair, smooth your dress.
Tidy up, smile for us
Take a look, take a breath,
Giddy up, smile for us
So much love you are"

Trixie blushed harder as she watched me pouring my heart into the song, my entire self aching as Twilight’s voice rang out across the void. I looked around, and was surprised to see walls appearing around us. The shadows solidified and bookshelves became visible. A staircase leading up and out of this room appeared and Trixie gestured me toward it as we continued to play. 

We swapped our parts for the second chorus, though I still changed into each of Twilight's friends. I felt strange as we ascended the stairs, the form of each pony seeming to leave me with a bigger and bigger smile. Trixie looked back at me as we walked, my form shifting from Rarity to Pinkie Pie. 

"This one's an actress,” Trixie finished smoothly.

“It's how you taught us to conjure up," I squeaked in Pinkie's high pitched voice.

"This one is Pinkie Pie!" Trixie echoed my earlier chorus.

Our song reverberated off the walls, the library forming around us, changing slowly from a faded grey into a glowing golden hall of knowledge. Trixie danced around as we climbed, giggling a little in between lines of the song. I couldn't resist getting caught up in the magic of it all. I looked upwards to see the stairs ending in a small trapdoor, and reached up with my magic to open it. Without an issue, it swung downwards to allow us entrance. I stepped underneath the door, which was still a few meters above the last step, and bent down to allow Trixie to climb up. She stepped lightly onto my back, and then I stood up as she clambered up and out. Then I stood up on my back legs, and was promptly grabbed by an assortment of hooves.

Standing in the Golden Oaks book repository was all of Twilight's friends, who were all smiling warmly at me.

"Is Twilight... " I started to ask, but was silenced with a strong orange hoof to my lips. 

"She's outside, Sugarcube. She's been waitin' for ya," Applejack answered, gesturing to the front door. Before I could start towards the door, my vision was blinded by an enormous amount of pink frizzy mane. 

"Thank you, Null, for bringing Trixie back to us." Pinkie Pie said, almost crying.

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" I asked, my cheeks heating up.

"Would you have believed me if I told you?" Pinkie pie asked flatly.

"Ah, probably not," I answered honestly. "Now, I need to go talk to Twilight, I guess.

"Um..excuse me.." said a small voice. I turned to see Fluttershy stepping forward, a nervous smile on her face.

"Yes, Fluttershy, what is it?”

"I, um, just wanted to thank you for doing what you did, even if it was just to save yourself," she said, stepping up to me.

"Well, I think I would have done it anyway," I said. "I promised Pinkie Pie, and if nothing else, I'm a changeling of my word."

"I thought so," Fluttershy said, before giving me a small peck on the cheek, and then running off with a squeak.

I rubbed the spot with a hoof, smiling to myself as I stepped out of the library. Princess Twilight stood out near the fountain in the center of town, gazing at me with an unreadable expression. 

As I stepped closer, she spoke, "Null The Changeling, we finally meet face to face." 

I slowed my pace, looking into her eyes as I walked, "So it really is you, then, Princess Twilight. You've become aware of all this."

Twilight nodded, and then her eyes widened as her gaze drifted to my side. I turned to see Trixie a few steps back to my right, her expression a mixture of nervousness and fright. 

"Hi, Twilight," Trixie said softly. 

"Trixie, why are you here? I usually only see you in... other dreams," Twilight faltered.

"I'm not just a dream, Twilight, I'm part of you, and you know that. I'm the guilt you feel for not reaching out to the real Trixie, for not being a friend when she really needed one!" Trixie belted out in a panicked rush.

Princess Twilight's eyes opened wide, looking back from Trixie to me, and then back again. "Impossible! This is all just a dream or a trick made by him!" she said, pointing her hoof at me, her voice sounding a little shaky.

"Everything here is a part of you, Twilight Sparkle," I said, giving her a stern look. "You are a powerful pony, and your magic can transform your inner thoughts, as well as your fears."

"You locked me away, Twilight," Trixie sniffed, "because you felt bad about what happened, and that you had failed as a friend, just like with Moondancer."

Twilight flinched visibly at the mention of that pony's name. "You don't understand. None of you do. I'm suppose to be this perfect friend, the perfect student, and now, a wise and powerful princess. I'm not allowed to fail, especially at friendship... "

"Just because you ignore what happened doesn't make it go away, Twilight," I said gently to her. "No pony is perfect. What really shows character isn't how many mistakes you make, but what you do afterwards."

Twilight sniffed, looking at my green eyes and black shell, and then said, "You know, Null, you'd make a good pony."

I chuckled at that, "We'll get to me in a minute, Princess Twilight, but first, don't you have something to say to somepony?"

Twilight's eyes widened, and then she smiled softly and nodded to me. Turning to Trixie, she approached her slowly, and then threw her hooves around the blue mare. Trixie gave a small 'eep' as she was pulled into a powerful princess hug.

"I'm sorry, Trixie, for everything you've been through," Twilight sniffled. "I'm going to make it up to you somehow, both here, and in the waking world."

As I watched the pair let their tears escape them, I saw Dream-Discord floating across the sky, piano in-tow. He played a wonderfully emotional song across its keys, and then looked up to give me a wink. I smirked at him, his knowing smile only slightly irritating me. 

Leaving the pair of ponies to their own devices, I decided to head towards the dreams exit. Before I made it to the auditorium, Pinkie Pie caught up to me.

"Sooooo, you're going to visit us right?" She said hopefully, bouncing next to me as I walked.

"You mean here, in Twilight's mind?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course, silly billy, it gets kind of lonely since we're all technically different parts of Twilight."

"Ah, well, I guess I will if I get the chance, providing Twilight doesn't have me arrested or banished."

"You're silly, Null, you know that?" Pinkie said as we walked past the empty room of seats. "Twilight would never do that to a friend!"

"What?" I said in surprise, before Pinkie pushed me through the small portal I had entered through.


---



I opened my real eyes for the first time in many hours, my horn and head hurting from the mental focus. I was greeted by the sight of a smirking Twilight Sparkle, who was rolling out of bed.

"So, what are we going to do with you, Null?" she asked in an odd voice.

"Whatever you want, I guess," I answered simply. "I can't return to my hive, as I have failed my mission, so my life is forfeit.

"I wouldn't say that," Twilight said, looking at me seriously. "I'll tell you my greatest secret, if, and only if, you share what you've learned here with as many changelings as you can."

"Share what with them?" I asked, confused. Twilight gestured to her wings, and I automatically looked back at my own to see them changing into a shimmering silver.

"The magic of friendship, of course!" Twilight beamed at me.

Completely dumbfounded by this new development, I simply asked, "So what's the big secret?"


---


"What do you mean quesadillas!!” boomed Queen Chrysalis.