The Changelings Open a Love Shop For Food Donations

by Dr Atlas

First published

It's not a strip club! It's a place where ponies make love donations and, in return, changelings dance for them. That's not what a strip club does, right?

Nope, not a strip club.
Just a place where ponies make love donations while changelings dance for them on poles.
...
Twilight is very skeptical about this.

Dance...for love?

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“Shut it down.”

The changeling’s jaw dropped, never thinking the princess would say this in response to what they showed her. “S-Shut it down? Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’!?” Twilight turned to the current dance sessions that were being done on stage in front of a large group of stallions. “Don’t you see what’s over there!”

The changeling behind the counter squinted her eyes to get a better look. “Uh...I see a sister who’s impressing the crowd with her pole dancing skills.” The bug smiled. “Sarah really knows her stuff when it comes to dancing.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Well, that’s what you see, as for me, I see someone who’s selling themselves out for food!”

The changeling gasped. “Hey! Sarah is not a sell out, in fact, there is no ‘selling’ going on here, just a group of changelings asking for donations.”

“Donations!?” Twilight slammed her hooves on the table. “You’re not asking for donations! You’re showing off your naked bodies to stallion’s so you can-”

“Uh...we don’t normally wear clothes anyway...So being, ahem, ‘naked’ doesn’t seem that big of a deal here.” The bug then extended her hoof to Twilight. “Name’s Sam, by the way.”

Twilight swatted the hoof away. “Don’t touch me! I know where that hoof’s been…”

Sam raised an eye. “Uh...It’s been on the floor, along with the rest of my hooves.”

“Yeah, well this floor is-” Twilight looked down at the carpet floor around her, not seeing a speck of stains or dirt, in fact, it looked brand new. “Uh...It’s clean, b-but not in that way!”

“What way?”

Twilight groaned. “You know what way I’m talking about, Changeling!”

Sam slowly shook her head. “No, actually, I don’t. We changelings made sure everything in ‘The Love House’ was spotless before we open. I do have to say, our sisters know how to do their job right.”

That triggered another question for Sparkle. “That’s another thing! Why is it just females working here?”

“All the other changelings are too busy, not only that, but most of them didn’t like this idea too much…”

Twilight had many answers why they didn’t. “I take it it’s because they think it’s disgusting!”

Sam didn’t know how to take that. “Uh, no, it’s because they think it’s stupid, mostly because they don’t think random ponies will hand out love for us, but look at all of them!” She pointed toward the small crowd of stallions. All of them ogling the three changelings on the stage. “They are loving it! That crowd alone’s gonna feed us for a few weeks.”

Twilight shook her head in disappointment, mostly in the ponies who chose to come in here. “All of you, and Chrysalis, need to shut this place down!”

Sam laughed a little. “Hey, this is just something a small group of bugs thought of. What makes you think Chrysalis is apart of this?”

Twilight stomped on the counter. “How do I know she isn’t just planning something? I say she’s plotting to take over Equestria right now, and this place is just a distraction!”

Sam paused before laughing hysterically. “OH..t-that’s a good one, princess. L-Like our queen actually feels like taking over after what happened.”

“She...doesn’t want to take over?” Twilight said with slight suspicion.

Sam shrugged. “Last I heard, Chrysalis got shot through Canterlot and landed somewhere on the outskirts of Equestria almost a year ago, and, according to some of her other subjects, she just doesn’t feel like trying again.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Really?”

“Uh…” Sam wasn’t a hundred percent sure if that was true, but after hearing nothing from her queen in over a year, she was certain Chrysalis was done. “Guess so…”

The alicorn still didn’t believe it. “No! S-She wouldn’t give up that easily. She’s plotting right now, I know it! Sh-She’ll ponynap every single pony that might stand in her way, and then she’ll come in and take over everything!”

Sam laughed again. “Psh, yeah, like that’ll happen. I suppose next you’ll tell me we’ll turn into colorful fruit loops after we get enough love here.”

Hearing this made Twilight go back to the point. “You’re not setting up a place like this!”

She put her hooves to her hips. “And why can’t set this place up? We’re not doing anything wrong.”

Twilight gritted her teeth. “You’re selling out your bodies just so you can get love, that’s not something I want in Ponyville!”

Sam gasped. “No, Sparkle, y-you don’t understand, this isn’t some kinda...uh, ‘body selling place’. This is a place where ponies and other creatures make love donations to help support our kind, and, in return, we dance for them.”

Twilight didn’t like the explanation. “So, it’s a strip club then?”

Sam was starting to get a bit offended. “It’s not that either! It’s a love donation center!”

“But you pole dance on that stage, POLE! DANCE!” Twilight went eye to eye with the changeling. “That’s what a stripper does!”

“Nu-uh, last I remembered, they do that for bits, not love.”

“What about the music? It sounds like it’s from a strip club too!”

Sam glanced around the speakers that were installed on the roof. “Well, Shift and Lift make some pretty weird music from time to time. Besides, it’s all we got, and it was a pain to install all this, you know.”

Twilight then looked at the obvious. “T-That’s another thing! How can you afford such a place!?”

Sam looked away sheepishly. “W-Well, believe it or not, some of the donors throw bits at the lings who dance on stage, we...aren’t really sure why they do it, but, hey, it’s free money, so it helps keep this place up.”

Twilight sighed. “Ugh...Who came up with this stupid idea?”

The changeling scratched her head, trying to remember. “I think it was either Sarah’s or Shela’s idea...or Chris’s, or Debra's, or Nikkie’s, or Tyler's, or-”

“Forget it...just…” Twilight held her hoof up to her forehead, getting a headache from this. “Just close this place, okay?”

Sam shook her head. “Oh no, you ain’t tellin’ us what to do and what not to do this time. Princess or not, we changelings have the right to chose where to open shop, when to open, and how to open shop.”

“Says who?”

“Uh…” Sam looked back and forth. “Um...s-says me.”

Twilight’s face went deadpan. “Look, I can understand you guys wanting a show, but setting up a strip club in the middle of town...that’s taking it too far.”

Sam put her hooves to her hips. “Hey, that show got great ratings, and even amassed a fanbase that we didn’t even expect would be...amassed.”

Twilight was surprised. “You guys have a fan base? It’s only been, like, a couple months since that show ended it’s season.”

Sam shrugged. “I dunno, but I have to say that the public really likes the show, even if they’re older.” She chuckled. “Brolings, like that’s a term…”

“What?”

“Oh nothing.” Sam said, looking up innocently.

Twilight didn’t want to know, she just wanted this building to be closed for good. “Listen, Sam, I understand you guys want food, but this is a horrible way to do it! Why don’t you just...I don’t know...uh…”

Sam rested her front leg on the table. “We’ve gone through a lot of ways to get love, we’ve tried attacking, talking, ponynaping, disguising...there just isn’t that much we can do to get food...so, we had the idea to set up a donation center! It’s the best way to get food.”

“But this isn’t right! You shouldn’t be dancing when they donate.”

“Then what else do we give them in return? We don’t have that much money and we don’t want to disguise when we do this. Dancing was the only thing we could think of.”

Twilight tried thinking of some way to get them to stop. “H-How about singing songs...o-or telling jokes on stage, or-”

“But we’re not good at that.” Sam said, frowning. “Dancing’s all we know, I’m sure you ponies understand that.”

“Understand what?”

Sam pointed at Twilight’s flank. “Don’t those marks on your butts force you to be good at only one thing in your life, because if that’s the case, then I’m sure you understand that our only talents are dancing.”

Twilight gritted her teeth, hating to explain this. “Our ‘cutie marks’ don’t tell us we’re only good at one thing, it just tells us what are destinies are.”

Sam continued looking confused. “Not sure what you mean by that, but if that helps you understand that our only talent is making moves on stage, then more power to ya.”

Twilight’s eye twitched. “You can’t all be good at dancing! S-Some of you must have other talents than that.”

Sam thought long and hard about this before coming to an intelligent answer. “Hmmm...Nope, that’s about it. It’s all we wanted when we asked for volunteers to this place.”

“You only wanted changelings who could dance to help run this place?” Twilight found this hard to believe.

“Yeah, we-” Sam then realized what she was talking about. “Huh...doesn’t make much sense when I say it outloud.”

Hearing this gave Twilight some relief. “Exactly, so now you know why you should close this place.”

“Hey, just because we only know how to dance doesn’t mean we should shut it down, it just means we need other volunteers!” She cupped her hooves to a nearby changeling who was talking to a stallion. “Hey! Marcia! Can we get more bugs that do other stuff besides dancing.”

Twilight stomped her hoof on the ground. “That’s not what I meant!”

Sam turned back to her. “It kinda sounds like it.”

Twilight was on the verge of ripping her hair off. “Changeling, I’m gonna say this one last time: Shut this place down.”

Still not wanting to give up, Sam straightened up and said. “And I’m gonna say this one last time: No, and ya wanna know why?”

Twilight knew whatever she would say wouldn’t help her. “Why?”

Sam pointed at the stallions, some having their tongues hanging out. “Because ponies like this too. I know it’s hard to believe ponies wanting to help changelings, but this is really something we both want to do, isn’t that what that ‘friendship’ stuff is about?”

Twilight was absolutely flabbergasted at how she compared this to friendship. “This isn’t friendship! T-This is just stallions wanting to satisfy their needs to look at...at...THIS!” She pointed at the still dancing bugs, some of them with bits on their stage, one even had a couple in the holes on her legs.

Sam shook her head in disappointment. “I guess it’s just something some ponies can’t see, but if you really want to close this place, then you might wanna talk to some of our donors first, because we have some that come in here almost everyday ever since we opened up, and if they hear about you closing this place down because you think it’s ‘not right’...I don’t think they’ll appreciate it.”

Twilight opened her mouth to object, but closed it when she realized this changeling had a point, no matter how wrong it was. She ended up slumping her head on the counter, not knowing how to fix this. “You know what, find. Keep it open, but know this.” She went eye to eye with her. “I’m not the only one who doesn’t like this place.”

Sam groaned in annoyance, remembering a couple customers like her. “I know, I know. We’ve had a few ponies coming in, mostly mares, wanting us to shut down, but as for the stallions, they come in here wanting to keep this place up and running, even some mares wanted to donate too!”

Twilight blinked. “M-Mares?”

Sam nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed to admit it. “There isn’t many of them, but they like it too, but this one mare keeps telling us to change into her friends, and we always have to remind her that’s not what we want...we end up doing it anyway, though.” Sam hid her face behind her hoof. “She has the weirdest color scheme for hair too…”

Twilight didn’t seem to care as she started walking away. “You just wait! I’ll have ponies wanting to close this place for good! You’ll see!” With that, Twilight finally stormed off, but not before bumping into a pony who walked inside.

The stallion’s eyes widened when she saw her. “Woah! No way! They got ponies to work here to!?” Twilight just rolled her eyes and shoved him out of the way with her magic, walking out the door.

Sam just waved. “Uh...goodbye?” She said, sighing soon afterwards.

A changeling came up beside her a few moments later. “Who was that?”

Sam shrugged. “Some mare who thought this place was a strip club…”

“Really, that’s the third one today. Why do they think that? We don’t even strip!”

Sam sighed. “I dunno, Darla...I really don’t.”

“Well, what can you do?” Darla frowned, but then realized why she came over here. “Oh yeah, I need to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

The bug pointed to a nearby stallion who seemed extremely nervous. “This guy over here asked for a ‘lap dance’. What’s that mean? He tried to explain it, but I still don’t understand.”

Sam never heard that word before. “Uh...I think he wants you to dance...on his lap or something?”

“Huh...weird, I...think I can do that. He did donate a lotta love.” She turned back to the stallion. “Uh, do you want a chair or something to make this easier?” The stallion nodded rapidly, his smile not going away. “O...kay then.” She walked back to the main room, a wooden chair in her magical grip.

Sam just smiled at this and sat up straight. “‘Lap dance’ What will ponies think of next, a dance where they’re both on the floor?...no wait…”

...

“Isn’t that sex?”