The One And Only Crazy Chapter
Spike finished dusting the furniture. He set a plate of pancakes for Twilight and a plate of gems for himself. Spike put a few other types of food on Twilight's plate as he heard slow, thumping hoofsteps coming down the stairs. Spike thought that was strange. Usually, Twilight always comes down in a patter of cheerful hoofsteps, ready to start the new day.
"Hey, Twilight," Spike greeted. "You have a class to teach in the schoolhouse. I think it was about how to control and properly use magic."
"Meh, I'll do it later," Twilight replied. There were wrinkles around her eyes as she slowly dragged herself to meet Spike and took a seat at the table, eating her pancakes at a slow pace.
"What do you mean you'll do it later? You have to do it now," Spike said.
"I said I'll do it later!" Twilight's tone raised a bit, causing Spike to flinch.
What's wrong with her today? Spike wondered. She never acted like this before. Twilight grumbled words Spike couldn't hear as she stuffed more pancakes into her mouth.
"Well, you are supposed to help out AJ finish up some chores at Sweet Apple Acres," Spike reminded.
"I don't feel like it!" Bits of mushy pancakes were all Twilight's face she replied.
"Twilight, you have a ton of things in you schedule that you have to finish up! Do I have to remind you that you have a meeting with Mayor-"
"SHUT UP, SPIKE!" Twilight yelled. "JUST SHUT YOUR BUCKIN' MOUTH!" Twilight let her face fall into her plate of pancakes. Spike was speechless. Twilight never cursed. She was too well-raised to curse. Something was definitely wrong.
"Twilight?" Spike asked cautiously. "Are you okay?'
When Twilight lifted her mushy face to reply, the sunlight hit her eyes. She yelped as a ray of sun blinded her. "GET DOWN, YOU STUPID SUN! BUCK YOU, CELESTIA!" Twilight threw a banana at the window.
"O...kay," Spike slowly stepped back. "I'm just gonna leave you here." He took a few steps back before quickly retreating out of Twilight's sight.
"DIE, WAFFLE, DIEEEE!" Twilight plunged a fork into one of the waffles in front of her. She raked the fork all over the poor waffle, cutting out bits of it away. Twilight grinned evilly. "MWAHAHAHAHA!" She laughed. After a few seconds later, she got bored. Twilight threw the waffle behind here, not caring who it hit.
She walked towards a comfy chair in her library, her face still smeared will pancakes. She face-planted herself into the armrest. "Ughhhhh," she moaned. "UGHHHHHHHH..."
She hit the chair with her hoof. "YOU STUPID, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING TOOT BAG!" She yelled at the chair. Twilight got off and made her way to the castle doors. She walked into the streets of Ponyville. As sunlight hit her face, she hissed. "HEY, YOU! GET BACK DOWN, YOU MOTHER OF BUCK! YEAH, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF CANDY WRAPPER!" Twilight continued shouting and cursing at the sun. Ponies looked her way, some were confused and some were scared.
"What's wrong with her?" Lyra asked.
"The mare's lost her marbles," Bonbon replied. Their heads slowly disappeared and backed away from the scene.
"Hey, um, Princess Twilight?" A stallion tapped her on the shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"OKAY?! I AM THE QUEEN OF THE BABA SUCKERLOOS, AND YOU ALL SHALL BOW DOWN TO ME!" Twilight replied. She started laughing and dancing right in the middle of the curious crowd.
"Okay, then. Everypony just slowly back away," the stallion said. The crowd did as he told, leaving the crazy mare be.
"I SHALL BATHE IN THE CAKE OF THE MUD!" Twilight declared to nopony in particular as she hopped away like a filly.
Twilight hopped into a pool of mud. She threw it in the air and rubbed it all over her face. "Doo doo the daa dum dum BHLERGGG..." Twilight continued to speak nonsense as she squished her face with mud. She began to fill her mouth with mud and spit it back out. She continued to do this for a few minutes.
"Hey, Twilight," a familiar farm pony approached the insane purple mare. "So are ya ready to..." Applejack stopped in mid-sentence as she took a glance at Twilight.
"Twilight?" Applejack asked. No response. The mar creepily looked at Applejack, still as a statue. "Twilight? You there?" Applejack tried waving a hoof in her face.
"I ded," Twilight suddenly fell into the mud.
Applejack sighed. "Why am Ah always the sane one?" She dragged Twilight out of the mud. "Come on, now. Ya hafta help me with the chores like ya promised."
"NO!" Twilight stood firmly on the ground, caked in drying mud. "YOU NOT THE BOSS OF ME!"
Applejack sighed once more. "Come one, Twilight, not here."
"NU!" Twilight ran away, leaving Applejack behind.
"TWILIIIIGHT!" Applejack yelled, the softness gone from her voice. "GET YER BUTT BACK HERE!"
"I AM THE MASTER'S WARRIOR!" Twilight yelled in the air. "I SHALL NOW FLY WITH THE GRASS AND ATTACK CELESTIA'S CAKE!"
"That mare's delusional," Applejack muttered to herself as she struggled to catch up. Twilight was surprisingly fast.
Twilight suddenly stopped and stared at the sky for a few moments. She jolted back and started shooting random lasers from her horn. Her eyes were filled with vibrant purple all over. "WALALALALALA WOO WOO!" Twilight danced and hopped. "GAA GAA GOOBY DHSFJHSFUVKIAFEUINFEFWUIWU!!!"
Then she abruptly stopped again. And did nothing. A few minuted ticked by. Applejack was still behind, stopping once in a while to catch her breath.
"I SHALL NOW GO EAT BUTT CAKE!" Twilight suddenly appeared in Canterlot and marched into the Canterlot Castle.
Applejack finally caught up to Twilight and heard what she said, but unfortunately, she was too late. "Oh no," Applejack whimpered. "SWEET CELESTIA NO!"
Twilight teleported into the Canterlot Castle, not bothering to go through the doors. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were all crazy. Celestia chewed on her favorite cake. Out from the corner of her eye, she spotted Twilight. Seeing the mare's current appearance, Celestia concernedly asked, "Twilight, is something wrong? What happened?"
Twilight's only reply was, "BUTT CAKE!" She went in for a big bite on Celestia's rear. The most loudest scream in all of Equestria echoed through the Canterlot Castle.
Luna barged in. "What's happening?" She asked worriedly. With one look at what was going on, Luna instantly knew. "YOU," she began. "GET OFF MY SISTER'S BUTT!"
It required Luna and a big group of guards to get Twilight from chewing on Celestia's rear. Suddenly, Twilight fainted, the world started fading around her.
...
Twilight's eyes started to slowly open. She blinked a few times before opening them fully. "Ugh... What happened?" She asked.
"Oh, I put a spell on you to make you act like a crazy mare," Discord replied with a mischievous smile.
"What?!" Twilight asked alarmed.
"I was getting bored, and out special, little meeting hasn't arrived, so I decided to pull a little trick," Discord said.
"What did I do?" Twilight asked worriedly.
Discord tried to stifle a laugh but failed. He laughed so hard that he fell down. "You..." He said between laughs as he tried to wipe his tears away. "You tried to eat Celestia's butt!"
"WHAT?!" Twilight's eyes went wide as Discord continued to laugh.
"DISCOOOOORD!!!"