The Conversion Bureau: Superweapon

by ScourgeofLightning

First published

In the last days of the Earth-Equestrian War, one superweapon can change everything. Or perhaps not.

All conflicts have arms races. For the Earthlings, their superweapon would destroy Equestria's barrier. For the Equestrians, their superweapon could cripple the Earth's military advantage.

In a mission to deliver the Earth's trump card, the two finest weapons of the Earth and Equestria meet, intrinsically changing the fate of one side.

The Quiet Day

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Shooting stars used to bring comfort and hope to those who saw them. They still did for Equestrians, letting them dream on peacefully with the knowledge that the night wasn’t all darkness. But for the Earthlings stationed near the Barrier or any form of military installation, any and all shooting stars were a possible threat, a possible sign of the Superweapon’s approach. No one knew exactly what the Superweapon was, no one had ever gotten close enough to it. Some people said it was some kind of magical attack, others said it was a golem. Whatever the Superweapon was, the only thing consistent feature about it was that it appeared in a streak of light, destroyed military structure and sowed chaos, and then fled. All of this, and without killing a single person. But given what the Equestrians’ potion did to humans, it might as well be sentencing them to imminent death.

So when a few streaks crossed the sky over the deck of Earth’s newest defense against the Equestrians, many breaths were sucked in anticipation. Everyone on board quieted down, nervous energy permeating their bodies. When the meteor shower ended, there was a wispy sigh throughout the whole ship as men and women returned to work. The Hummingbird-class ships were a recent development, swifter than any other ship out there, yet armed enough to deter any of Equestria’s outdated Navy. These ships were the ultimate culmination of pony and human unity, their engines being powered by magic of ponies who loathed the princesses’ campaign against humanity whilst being designed by human engineers. But beyond the symbolic value, there was practical value as well. For speed was what missions needed now, since the Superweapon could rip apart even the most heavily armored behemoths in a matter of seconds. Armor, be it magical or physical, was shredded like paper under the Superweapon’s power. There was no longer any point to extra, useless weight. The only point to ships now was to stop the Barrier’s expansion, and the means to that were currently in the cargo hold.

“Are you ready?” came a soft voice from the person next to the machine that would finally force Equestria to surrender.

“Ready as Ah’ll ever be. Equestria ain’t the way it used to be, not anymore” came a low, growling voice from the pony next to the machine. When ponies spoke the human tongues, their voices came out as rumbles and snorts more often than not, even for females. For Applejack though, it didn’t bother her in the least that she sounded odd to the humans. It didn’t bother her fellow guard either. “Ya sure this won’t hurt anypony?”

“That’s what the lab boys said” the human guard shrugged in reply. To a pony’s ears, human voices made them sound as if they were perpetually foals, especially in the case of females. It always made Applejack smirk a little at the thought of her middle aged partner being a rough and tumble filly. “But you know how they are. ‘Sarah, don’t touch that, it’s actually a nuke’” Sarah imitated, pretending to push up some glasses. Applejack rumbled in a pony’s version of a laugh along with her friend. It wasn’t rare for ponies to work with humans, be it for the Equestrian or Earthling cause. Whether it be because a pony felt that the princesses’ expansion campaign was wrong or because a human believed Celestia’s promises of the Equestrian potion being fixable(among other reasons), mixed ranks were common.

“Is it actually a nuke though?” Applejack murmured, looking at the cow sized, oblong device behind her. It was covered in all manner of metallic trinkets, magical crystals, and a bunch of other things she didn’t know the names to. While she had taken the side of Earth in this struggle, she knew of the devastation the humans’ nuclear weapons could cause. She would never help such power be deployed on Equestria.

“No, no. Hang on, lemme remember what the lab boys really said…” Sarah assured. “Uh, they called it a ‘Sin Hating Inorganic Transponder’” Sarah said, snapping her fingers as she did so. “It’ll just match the frequencies of the Barrier with our frequencies or something. That’s why we need to be here, ‘cause it would screw up the frequencies of remote controls, or something like that. Anyway, all it’ll do is let us give the Equestrian coast a pounding. If the princesses aren’t crazy, they’ll surrender by then” the human promised, nodding her head. Applejack gave a snort, tossing her head and making her mane shake.

“If they weren’t crazy, they wouldn’t be invadin’ and getting good ponies and humans killed” Applejack said, narrowing her eyes.

“Too true, girl. But it’ll all end soon” Sarah smirked, holding out her curled fingers. Applejack looked up for and let her expression lighten at the friendly gesture. Applejack’s hoof bumped Sarah’s hand, the comforting gesture lifting Applejack’s spirits somewhat. They were two alien people, and yet, could find friendship and unity. It pretty much put Celestia’s ridiculous propaganda in the grave. Humans were hardly the doomed savages she painted them to be, even if they were predisposed towards violence more than ponies.

Across the sky flashed a streak of yellow. Perhaps it could have been mistaken for a straggler meteor, but it was twisting oddly in the air, as if it was a snake. Concerned whispers began to rise an instant before an ear-splitting sonic boom smashed through the air. Golden beams of light rained down from the night sky, precisely cutting into the engine and crippling the swift little ship. People only barely had enough time to scream and move their hands to their weapons before they were promptly surrounded in crystal to freeze them in place. One second after the sonic boom, everyone on deck was frozen, the engines were destroyed, and there was a multi-colored projectile slamming into the deck of the ship. The metal buckled and broke underneath the raw magical energies, so bright that it blinded all near it. An awry bolt of magical lightning broke through the cockpit, shocking the captain and the ponies in the engine room into submission. The source of it all was a swirling maelstrom of golden, blue, and magenta magic, focused into a sphere. The Superweapon had found them.

The Superweapon began moving forward, as if it was being controlled by some type of intelligence. The orb of energy stopped at the stairs to the cargo hold. It was promptly met with a hail of bullets. The bullets stopped in mid-air and curved around the orb before the orb flashed once, slamming the woman guard against the wall with telekinetic might as it approached the Sin Hating Inorganic Transponder. The orb’s movement wasn’t delayed in the least by this effort. Just as it was about to touch the Earth’s trump card, a pair of orange hooves slammed into the orb.

“W-what are ya?!” Applejack hissed, pulling back her hind legs in shock after feeling the energies on her legs. It wasn’t a precisely painful feeling, just an odd one. But her hooves had definitely struck something. That something may have been harder than anything she had ever felt before, but it was definitely something. Orange energies began to focus themselves in front of the orb, and Applejack quickly leapt in front of the Earth’s superweapon. Futile an effort as it may be, she was an Apple; she wouldn’t just stand there and let some ball of magic do whatever it felt like doing. The orange energies crackled in the air for a few moments before dissipating. The orb of magic itself stopped spinning.

Within the center of all that power, all of that energy, was the unmistakable shape of a pony. It was covered in heavy, dark blue armor made of crystal that warped its shape and details, but it was definitely a pony. That much was plain from the pair of teal eyes that peeked out from the thick helm. Applejack was reminded a little bit of the old photos Sarah had showed her of carriage horses. The helmet did the same to this pony’s eyes, making them mere pinpricks that could only look forward. In fact, the armor itself seemed to all be to this effect. While Applejack assumed it had a horn due to its ability to do magic, the fact was that the armor was so absurdly thick that she had no idea if this thing was an earth pony, alicorn, unicorn, or pegasus. She couldn’t even see the Superweapon’s cutie mark. The most defining feature that could be seen past the bulky armor were the teal eyes, which glowed like miniature flames and left trails to match as the Superweapon moved.

“What is it that you protect?” the Superweapon spoke, and if Applejack had expected a multi-layered voice full of power and majesty, she’d be wrong. This voice sounded younger than her, younger than Applebloom even, and held no special quality. It was possibly a mare, but it could just as easily be a feminine stallion. “Why would you risk your safety over this human device?”

“‘Cause they’re mah friends, and this is important to them. And to all good folk who ain’t cowards” Applejack said defiantly, managing to keep her voice from shaking as she stared down the massive pony in front of her. Whether it was the armor or natural size, this pony looked capable of snapping an Ursa in half over its knee with no effort.

“I-it’s a special nuke…” Sarah groaned from the floor, only barely conscious after being slammed by the Superweapon's telekinesis. “We wanted to take you out with us. This was all a trap! So back off, unless you want to get blown up, you fucking monster!” Sarah spat towards the Superweapon. Applejack and the Superweapon blinked in tandem at the human. Applejack caught the bluff after a few seconds and nodded to back up Sarah’s point. It always did scare her how easy it was for humans to lie, but right now, she couldn’t be happier that they were good at it.

“That wouldn’t kill me” the Superweapon replied bluntly and coldly. Even if it was young, it had the voice of a stone-cold veteran. “And your weapons of destruction don’t carry such sorcery on them. You lie” the Superweapon stated, blue energies gathering on the peak of the spiked forehead of armor. “Fear not, I will take this information from your mind, human. Your savage nature will not interfere with the the truth of Equestria” the Superweapon informed Sarah, but its words lacked conviction. The Superweapon sounded like it was reading off of some script, a script that it didn’t like. Before the magic could leave its horn, a pair of orange hooves slammed into its cheek. The Superweapon didn’t so much as blink or lose the spell, simply turning its eyes to look at Applejack with some flicker of curiosity. “Why do you fight for her?” the Superweapon asked, a tinge of curiosity entering its voice.

“‘Cause she’s mah friend, and you’re no hero right now. You’re just a villain, invadin’ the home of folk who did you no harm and telling them what to do, what to become” Applejack said, snorting air out through her nostrils in a challenging way. “The humans could be our friends, ya know. We could live together. Go tell that to your boss!” Applejack whinnied, stamping at the ground and readying her hooves for another buck. The Superweapon’s teal orbs blinked curiously once more at the angered mare.

“We the Equestrians must show empathy towards other sentient beings. The world of the humans is destined to come to an end by prophecy, the only way to save them is to make them ponies so that they don’t murder each other in an apocalypse of nuclear fire. We must see their salvation through, even if-” the Superweapon was cut off by another buck to the face. Once again, Applejack might as well have been a mote of dust on the wind, but the surprise made the Superweapon stop its speech.

“Prophecies are a bunch of pony feathers! Every time, they never go the way ya think they’re gonna go. Always some kind of secret trick in them. ‘Sides, we could work it out together instead! Not turn ‘em into adult foals or treat em’ like savages. And that’s all assumin’ Celestia is even tellin’ the truth about this ‘prophecy’! Yeah, ever think about that? What if she's lyin'?” Applejack said, far more bold than she was a few seconds ago. The Superweapon realized why Applejack was being so confident as Sarah pulled out her pistol and fired off three bullets for the Superweapon’s unarmored nape. The sneak attack had been clever, but ineffective. The bullets stopped in mid-air, surrounded by a golden aura. Following that was a golden aura around the pair of guards, slamming them against the walls hard and holding them there.

“This is a matter out of your control. Whatever plan you had, we will defeat it. Humanity will be saved” the Superweapon said, actual emotion entering its voice. Unfortunately, the emotion was excitement and anxiety, the most unpredictable of moods. The Superweapon looked at the Earth’s trump card and began building up magic, their resolve clear.

“D-don’t do it...This could end the war. All this pain…” Applejack groaned out, eyes fluttering weakly. She was barely conscious after being thrown against the wall, which was more than could be said for her out cold partner. The Superweapon paused their magic charge, but didn’t turn around. “Come on, Celestia’s plan...she’d kill em’ all anyway. The new foals don’t have any mind left” Applejack continued, her voice almost pleading with the Superweapon. The Superweapon’s eyes flickered slightly, the brilliant turquoise fire fading slightly to reveal eyes that were very ordinary.

“I must do what is necessary for the humans to survive. It is my duty as an alicorn” said the Superweapon, spreading out a pair of wings just as armored as the rest of it. And all the same, they looked weighted. The fire in the Superweapon’s eyes reignited with a sigh. “It’s my destiny to fight for what is good, even if it may seem difficult. I cannot hesitate.” With that, the Superweapon’s magic built until the light from it became blinding. And then it discharged.


When an multi-colored shooting star surrounded by sonic booms entered Equestrian skies, ponies cheered. Even if they did not know the identity of the Superweapon(or even what it was), they knew that it was their best chance for ending this war and forcing the humans to stop fighting against their own salvation. The Superweapon didn’t so much as pause before it entered the tallest tower of the Crystal Empire through the window, opening then closing it with magic. The window led into a long hallway, lit only by the warm glow of torches on the walls. The Superweapon’s magical orb dissipated once more, and the fire in its eyes faded. Where once stood an intimidating symbol of Equestria’s resolve to save humanity there was only a very tired alicorn, who could do little more than pant in exhaustion from the strain of its own power.

“Ahem. Our magic, if you would?” came another tired voice from the end of the hallway. The source of it was Luna, looking rather annoyed and tired. All four princesses were present on comfortable thrones, though all of them looked haggard. Still, with the results that pooling the magic of five alicorns gave, they’d be fools to not suffer a bit of exhaustion.

“Yes, ma’am. My apologies” the Superweapon apologized, its horn glowing and then letting out a four tipped stream of magic. The light blue infused Princess Cadance, the yellow went to Princess Celestia, the azure to Princess Luna, and the magenta to Princess Twilight. Immediately, three of the princesses perked up. Celestia and Luna especially, returned to their usual majestic states. Cadance had worry lines on her face, but nevertheless put up a strong and rather proud front. Twilight, however, only barely freshened up. If anything, she seemed to look even worse. She had not aged well, with her feathers growing long and shaggy, her mane unkempt and wild, and her muzzle narrowing. The split between her friends over the meaning of the Human Salvation Prophecy had hit the Princess of Friendship hard, and no matter what, she always seemed dour and full of melancholy. She was still a formidable sight, but she was a vulture in a room full of eagles.

With the power boost gone from the Superweapon, its knees buckled from the weight of the armor. Gently, the other alicorns took off the heavy, bulky weights with their magic and hung them on wall hooks to let their Superweapon relax. The Superweapon was indeed a mare, just into early adulthood. Nevertheless, when she looked at her flank, it was still blank. Years of service and training under the princesses had not yet yielded a mark. The mare shook her mane to let the built-up sweat shake out and used a tired hoof to bring a jug of water to her mouth and guzzle it down. The princesses waited patiently for their knight to finish, though Cadance held some anxiety in her gaze.

“Are you alright? You’re usually not this tired” Cadance finally said, her lips pursing with concern.

“I’m alright, mother, truly. I’m alright…” the Superweapon panted, holding up her hoof to signal for a few more seconds of rest. Eventually, she stood up and nodded her head.

“Report, Flurry Heart” Twilight ordered softly. There was no real need to, but keeping things of habit made this whole war a lot more bearable for the Princess of Friendship. So the other alicorns indulged her on that.

“The Earthlings had come up with some sort of secret technology. They were transporting it to the Barrier.” Flurry paused in her report. The other alicorns raised their eyebrows as she did so. Flurry had never hesitated in the past, she had always been straightforward.

“And?” Luna urged, eyes narrowing slightly.

“I neutralized the threat” Flurry replied in a stony manner. Luna’s eyes narrowed even further at the vague reply. Flurry kept her eyes straight ahead, though her whole body quivered slightly. Nopony spoke for a short while.

“Why do you hesitate? You have something else to tell us, don’t you?” Celestia finally stated, causing a slight blush to appear on Flurry’s cheeks.

“All of these years, I have believed that the Human Salvation Prophecy was the only truth. That there was no other way to save the humans from extinction beyond turning them into new foals.” Flurry sighed before continuing. “To that end, we have created this ever expanding barrier, the potion that turns them into new foals and destroys their minds-”

“It doesn’t! I-i mean it won’t! It’s just a minor setback, I will fix it!” Twilight suddenly snapped, stomping her hooves and glaring at her niece. A stern look from Celestia quickly put an end to her anger, replacing it with a mournful expression on her countenance. When Applejack, Fluttershy, and Starlight Glimmer had found out what the potion did, they had been furious. Fluttershy had disappeared into the mountains with Discord, Starlight no longer trusted Twilight, and Applejack had outright left to go fight for the Earthlings.

“My apologies, temporary loss in their minds” Flurry corrected, bowing apologetically before continuing. “We have sacrificed many souls on both sides of the war to this end, and I endured it without question. I endured their suffering and said nothing because I believed that we were in the right. Before that even, when you first chose me to be the Superweapon of Equestria, I believed that the humans were beyond redemption. But on that ship, on that last mission...I saw an earth pony and a human who were friends. I could feel it inside of them with Aunt Twilight’s magic.” Flurry had averted her eyes for this part of her report, and only now raised them again. Cadance looked worried, Luna had a very nasty glare, and Twilight looked more miserable than ever. Only Celestia remained stoic. “The reason that I endured all of this was the Human Salvation Prophecy. But now, now I see that there must have been another way. Another way for us to have met, some way that didn’t make us enemies. What if the Human Salvation Prophecy...is wrong? What if they aren't so savage?” Flurry finished, holding her ground despite Luna’s death glare. For a moment or two, there was no sound in the war room save the crackling of torches.

“Did you think that we had not considered that?” Celestia finally spoke, her tone disappointed. “Did you think that we would truly be so heartless as to wish a war on both our peoples?” Celestia rose from her throne, her horn aglow. “I think it is time you learned the truth. Though some of us may feel the humans are violent through and through…” Celestia glanced at Luna, who turned up her nose defiantly. “...You are right that the majority opinion among the princesses is that they are not so different from us ponies” Celestia explained, moving closer to Flurry. The taller alicorn’s magic reached towards the floor, finding its way into the floor below the carpet. All the while, the other princesses stepped forward. Flurry was encircled now, simply watching as the carpet was lifted away by Cadance to reveal a glowing orb hidden in the floor. Inside the orb was a large, brown seed, and when it was touched by Celestia's magic, tiny sprouts of green crept out of it.

“The seed of the Tree of Harmony” Twilight explained, shooting a jolt of her magic into the seed. The air changed around the assembled alicorns, a great and powerful magic that was far beyond their knowledge permeating their flesh. Luna especially shuddered upon feeling it, but all of them exercised a healthy respect for the power of Harmony. “This where the voices of Harmony can be heard, where all of the magic that we have, the life force of everyone of us, even the humans, collects” Twilight explained to Flurry, her voice echoing several times over as a crackling aura of purple bio-electricity made itself known around her body. She was currently the only pony through which this power could be channeled. It used to be totally effortless for her, but with the loss of three friends, it took visible strain on the second youngest alicorn.

“Bestow on us Human Salvation Prophecy” Celestia requested of the power that channeled itself through the youngest princess.

“On a world separate from that of ponies, there live a people descended from primates. They are called humans, and are fully sentient as ponies are. They are an aggressive people by nature, and if left to their own devices, their planet would be purged of them by a powerful flame. The human lineage is fated to leave their planet by their own doing” Twilight spoke, her voice low and almost foreign. Flurry knew all of this, the Human Salvation Prophecy up to this point was common knowledge.

“This is the part we hid from you, Flurry” Cadance murmured quietly as Twilight took a breather. “From all of Equestria…”

“If the ponies live amongst the humans and guide them, then humanity would remain on their world. But ponies would be gone from Equestria” Twilight’s voice let out a bone shaking boom as she finished the prophecy. With that, the seed stopped glowing, the aura around Twilight disappeared, and the runic markings once again returned to their hidden states. The tiny green sprouts from the seed held out slightly longer, but still shriveled and died as Celestia stopped feeding it her power. The carpet was draped over the seed and the magical array, and the source of all prophecies in Equestria was once again hidden. Flurry simply stared at the spot where the seed was hidden, feeling her once static world view shatter.

“I’m sorry we hid this from you, but when we first heard the Human Salvation Prophecy, you were still young and…” Cadance began before trailing off, biting her lip with some measure of guilt.

“...Not your knight, yet?” Flurry finished. Her tail flicked as she did so, subtle anger causing her to involuntarily react. “The prophecy only says that ponies will be gone from Equestria, what if they just live on Earth? What if you have been looking at this all wrong? What if you began this horrid war for nothing?” Flurry said in a voice carrying a definite edge to it. She looked at the princesses with accusation in her teal eyes, daring them to reply.

“Do not presume to understand the weight a ruler must bear! It is all well and good for a pony who isn’t responsible for the lives of others to dwell on what-ifs, but as the princesses of Equestria, we chose the option that made sure that there was no threat to our ponies” Luna declared bluntly, looking down her nose at the younger alicorn. “To help the humans personally carries the risk of our extinction, and thus, we found a compromise in which we both help them and insure the safety of our folk”

“Flurry, I can fix the potion, and it’ll be alright” Twilight promised, looking a bit shaky on her hooves after channeling so much knowledge. Flurry looked at the ponies she had once admired, and could only shake her head. Logically, this was the right course of action. The survival of the ponies of Equestria couldn’t be risked on a gamble, especially when done for nothing but charitable purposes. The current path being taken was the one of least risk. Yes, it was logically correct, but as the daughter of the Princess of Love, Flurry despised yielding to logic. Flurry turned around, grabbing some towels off of a shelf and putting them around her neck in preparation for her usual bath.

“Flurry, what happened on the last mission?” Celestia asked, her calm voice finally getting sharp for a brief second. Flurry paused, but didn’t turn around.

“If the humans had a way of ending the war now, ending all of this pain and fear for both of our folk in less time...would you take it?” the youngest alicorn asked, picking up some soaps from the shelf.

“Flurry. What did you do?” Cadance repeated, speaking to Flurry as if she had been caught stealing from a cookie jar. All eyes were on Flurry's back as she put her hoof on the door to the bathroom.

“...I neutralized the threat” Flurry repeated. And with that, Equestria’s superweapon walked into the bathroom and relaxed after a hard day’s work.