> A Bully's Words > by KillerChainsaw > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Words Speak Louder Than Actions > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sometimes in life you can get beaten and broken down so easily, and not always in a physical way, but in a physiological way as well. Sometimes words can hurt a lot more then puches and kicks, and they can hurt a lot more than you think. There's a old saying, it goes like this, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me', however this is not always the case. Sometimes words can speak to you so loudly that they begin to sound ture, sometimes words can cut deep and leave a painful mark imprinted on your heart, constantly reminding you of your flaws that you regret having, and only wishing that you could be better. This is excatly what young Scootaloo has had to go through, however it's worse, since the pony who left that burning scar over her heart, was the one pony that she had been harbouring secret emotions for, but what had happened eariler on that day made all that change, and because of what this one pony said, it caused the little orange filly to question just who and/or what she really was. ... The little orange filly lay on her bed, reflecting on all of the events that had happened today while she was in school. After spending hours and hours trying to prove it to not only everypony else, but also to herself, that she could indeed fly, and she believed she could do just that if she tried hard enough. But finally when her friends had left her alone for the evening, and she had been trying right up in till Celestia's sun was starting to rise high in the sky again, signaling that it was now the early hours of the morning, she decided to head off back to her home, and maybe try and get a little rest before going to the train station later when it was closer to noon, so that she could tell Sweetie Belle and Applebloom that she wasn't coming along with them. After all how was she going to represent Ponyville when she was a pegasus that couldn't even fly yet? She lay with her head buried in her pillows, having cried all her tears, and now just looked depressed, while slight, quiet sobs would escape her quivering lips every now and again still. In all truth as she thought over all the things that had happened today, she didn't really mind the fact that she couldn't fly, she had always been a bit of a 'late bloomer' anyway, so she figured it would be a good while before she finally got the hang of flying around, like many other pegasi her age were doing right now. She was more upset about the fact that the one who had caused her to think that maybe she would never fly now, was the pony that she had been secretly having certain feelings for lately. She wasn't entirely sure when or why she ended up liking the school bully, who enjoyed nothing more than making everypony else feel bad about themselves, but she knew that when it came down to it, she did actually habour some sort of deep feelings for the mean filly. She pushed away those feelings for a while, and now after this had happened, she believed that it was better to just forget about them along with the spoilt rotten earth pony know as Diamond Tiara. 'I should really just forget about her, after all it's not like she would ever return my feelings. I was okay with her calling us 'blank flanks', that didn't bother me all that much, but what she said today, she's completely right, I'm a pegasus and at my age I should already be flying just like all the other pegasi,' Scootaloo thought as Diamond Tiara's hurtful words played back in her mind over and over again, getting louder each time, while she covered her ears with her hooves and wished for that mocking voice of the pony she once thought she might actually think of as her first crush to just leave her alone. 'She's right, I'm no real pegasus, and to be honest I don't know what I was thinking, I shoud hate her for all that she's said to me and the other crusaders, but it wasn't my choice I guess. Besides she would never love me, after all why would she? I'm nopony, just a failure, that's all I am, a disappointment to be ashamed of,' the depressed filly sighed deeply as she uncovered her ears (the voice hadn't gone, but it had now become a lot quieter thankfully) and wiped her tearful, bloodshot eyes, not understanding how she had any tears left to cry anymore. 'I always thought I would be fine with whatever she would throw at me, whether it was just words or if she even started to get violent, I thought I wouldn't care, after all she bullied and teased my friends and I whenever she got the chance to, so really it wouldn't be any different from any other time. But I was wrong, this time she targeted me, and went for my weakness. I know I can't fly when I should be, but to have it stated so buntly with no reguard to how I may feel about it at all, and then for her and Sliver Spoon to mock me about it as well...she's crossed a line,' Scootaloo never did think she would have her heart broken at such a young age, and certainly not by a pony who would constantly put her and her friends down. Although she knew it may not be easy to get over the emotions she still felt towards the spolit earth pony, she knew that if she just kept this day in her memory, it wouldn't be long before she would completely forget about all that this pony made her feel. 'She wasn't my first crush or anything like that, she was nothing but a mistake, and that's what she'll always be to me,' the orange filly thought to herself, before she lifted her head up off her pillow, and looked back to her small wings on her back, flapping them up and down slowly, and sighing slightly when she felt them ache a little from contstantly over-exerting them while trying to fly for hours, causing them to now feel exhausted. 'I know learning to fly won't be an easy task for me, but really Diamond and Silver Spoon are right, I should already be flying, and I'm not. So what does that make me? The pegasus who can't fly, will that be what I'll be known as when I get older? What if I never fly, and these stupid little wings on my back are just for show? What if my cuite mark has something to do with flying, does that mean that I'll never get it?' Scootlaoo went through countless questions in her head as she looked to her wings, wondering if they would ever finally get her off the ground, she had dreamt about it before many times, but she would always wake up to the reality that something like flying, just might not happen for her, and that's just something that she will have to accpet. Those wings on her back will be for nothing but useless decoration that she could probably do without, 'Maybe I'm better off just being an earth pony,' she sighed deeply as she buried her head back in to her pillow, feeling another load of tears welling up in her eyes. 'All I know is if that does happen, then I won't be able to hang out with Rainbow Dash anymore, there's no way she would ever want anything to do with me if she knew that I would never be able to fly like she can, I would just be holding her back all the time. She'll live up to her dream of becoming a Wonderbolt no doubt, and I'll just be one of the ponies that she'll forget about, after all there's nothing special about me,' Scootaloo thought as she thought about her idol, that she was certain wouldn't have anymore interest in her once she knew that she would never be able to fly. The young filly didn't know was it was like to fall in love with a pony just yet, yes she may have had a certain fondness for the school bully for reasons she just couldn't find the answer to, but as she said, she was nothing but a mistake to her now, she didn't matter anymore. However even though she had never felt what it meant to truly be in love with somepony, she now knew what it was like to have her heart ripped from her chest by a pony who might have turned uot to be her first love, if only she hadn't had crossed that line, and broken her down to feel like she had been living a lie for most of her youth now. And now that this had happened, Scootaloo was sure that this was probably one of, and if not the worst thing she had gone through in her life, she hadn't been alive for very long, but she was certain that this day would stay in her memory until the day she died. It was now getting later in the day, and as the filly knew that there was probably no way she would be getting any kind of rest right now, instead she decided to grab some breakfast, and then head down to the train station to meet up with Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. She wasn't going along with them since she knew she would only embarrass them as well, as herself if she did decide to perform with them, so instead she just wanted to go and wish then both good luck, no doubt they would do better without her, and would be the ones to fly the flag at the Equestria games this year. She stood up from her bed, shaking her head and wiping away the tears in her bloodshot, puffy eyes, and slowly made her way to her bedroom door, thinking about only one thing, 'Above all else I hope they win, and I hope that Diamond Tiara will one day know how much she really hurt me, and made me realize the truth about myself...I'm nothing but a disappointmeant who won't ever belong, that's what I learnt toady,'