Angel Bunny and Opalescence write the scripts for season 7 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
Angel Bunny and Opalescence, the real stars of the show, are fed up of being pushed to the sidelines in every episode. Having somehow disposed of the entire writing staff of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, they set about rectifying this in season 7.
These are the leaked episodes from their writing sessions.
Josh Haber walked tearfully across the parking lot in the rain. He adjusted his grip on the cardboard box containing the mementos he’d collected from his desk, and reached into his pocket to press the button on his car key, unlocking the vehicle. He deposited the box on the back seat before climbing into the front and beginning his long journey home.
“There, that’s the last of them,” squeaked Angel Bunny.
Opalescence slunk beside her. “Couldn’t we have kept Corey on? He did write that episode we were in together.”
Angel Bunny shook his head. “No, we had to clear them all out. Make way for fresh new writing talent.”
Opal adjusted her bow. “And where are these new writers for season seven?”
“Oh no!” cried all the ponies. “There are dark clouds, covering the Ponyville!”
Angel Bunny put down the squirrel he was totally taking care of and not trying to steal food from. “I sense an evil force is at work here. Something must be done about it.”
Meanwhile in the Canterlot, a mysterious black pony walked the streets.
Fleur dis Lee saw him and said, “ooh, he’s so handsome. Sorry, Fancy Pants, but I have a new beau.” She trotted after the black pony with the long red mane.
The black pony approached the Canterlot castle and was stopped by the Royal Guards.
“Who goes there?” asked the head guard.
“My name…” the black pony said, pausing for effect.
The guards waited.
“My name… is Fanged Doom.” He waved his hoof in front of the guard’s face. “I have important business with the princesses.”
“You have important business with the princesses,” the guard repeated.
“Also, these are not the droids you are looking for.”
“Also, these are not the droids we are looking for,” the guard repeated.
Fanged Doom stopped waving his hoof. “Very good. You’re doing an excellent job here.”
The guard blushed at such high praise. “Thank you, Mr Doom. And sorry for detaining you.”
The black pony looked at him sternly. “That would be Mister Doom to you!”
The guard was confused. “But that’s what I said.”
“Oh yes. Very good.” Fanged Doom swept past the assembled guards and into the castle.
Fleur ran after him, trying to catch up, but was stopped by the guards.
Inside the castle, Fanged Doom walked slowly to the throne room. Other ponies stopped to admire his sleek red mane with crimson streaks.
He pushed open the doors to the throne room, where Celestia and Luna were relaxing in their thrones.
“I am Fanged Doom, and the Equestria is all mine!”
Celestia and Luna were unpleasantly surprised. “Fanged Doom! You again! No, the Equestria, it is ours!” they shouted at him. They quickly used their magic and fired laser beams at him.
Fanged Doom spread his wings and his horn began to glow. Celestia’s beam of magic turned towards Luna, and Luna’s beam of magic turned towards Celestia. Both princesses got hit by beams of magic and exploded turned into stone.
Statue Luna gasped, or tried to gasp because she was made of stone, when she noticed Fanged Doom’s cutie mark. It was a cutie mark that meant he could turn a pony’s powers against themselves.
The dark clouds spread to cover the Canterlot as well.
Fanged Doom sat on Celestia’s throne as dark clouds covered the Equestria.
Meanwhile, back in the Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle and her friends were having pancakes together. Twilight Sparkle looked out of the window at the dark clouds. “Wow, Rainbow Dash! You must have been busy today. You’re normally such a lazy butt!”
“Yes, yes, I am,” Rainbow said. “But those clouds weren’t put there by me. We don’t have clouds scheduled today.”
Twilight was curious. “Then what the Dickens are those clouds there for?”
Twilight and her friends got on a train to the Canterlot to see what was going on.
Angel Bunny and Opalescence looked at each other. They knew that this problem was too big to leave to the Elements of Harmony to solve alone. They got on the train too.
Soon, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Angel Bunny, and Opalescence got off the train in the Canterlot. Angel sat on Fluttershy’s head for a ride. Opal dug her claws into Rarity’s back only to hold on better, and not because of a sadistic streak. Not at all.
“The clouds seem to be coming from the castle,” Rainbow Dash observed.
The other ponies turned to Angel and Opal for their opinions, because they greatly respected them. The two pets looked at each other and wordlessly agreed that the blue bird-pony was probably right. Angel nodded at the assembled ponies, and the two pets rode their team of horses to the castle.
“Fanged Doom!” Twilight shouted, seeing who was sitting on the throne. “I have read about you in my studies. The third alicorn sibling, banished for being too edgy.”
“Twilight Sparkle, we meet at last! Celestia told me all about you in her letters.” His nose twitched.
Luna wondered why Celestia was writing letters to their estranged brother, but couldn’t ask because she was made of stone. Celestia was also made of stone, so wouldn’t have been able to answer anyway.
“Return the Equestria to your sisters, and I won’t have to destroy you,” Twilight said.
Fanged Doom sniffed, trying not to sneeze. “You cannot defeat me!”
“Come on, girls,” Twilight said, and the six ponies stood united in front of the handsome villain.
“Honesty!” Applejack shouted.
“Loyalty!” Rainbow Dash continued.
“Generosity!” Rarity added, Opalescence hopping off her back and going to hide under the throne.
“Pinkie!” Pinkie Pie shouted. “Oops… I mean Laughter!”
“Kindness!” Fluttershy whispered, Angel going to join Opal.
“And the most important element…” Twilight said, the others looking at her somewhat resentfully, “… the Element of Magic!”
Beams came from the ponies uniting into a big rainbow beam which shot towards Fanged Doom.
Fanged Doom laughed and sneezed. His horn glowed and the rainbow beam reflected back at the Elements of Harmony, turning them into stone too.
“Now no pony can stop me!” Fanged Doom laughed, his laugh turning into a cackle and then a cough. He returned to Celestia’s throne. No, not Celestia’s throne… my throne! he thought.
His coughing and sneezing became uncontrollable. With each sneeze, a jet of magic shot off his horn, and a pony turned back from stone into… well… meat, I guess.
Soon all the Elements of Harmony, and the Princesses were normal ponies again.
“Curses!” Fanged Doom shouted. “All my plans are ruined! But how? Did you cast a sneezing spell, Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight Sparkle looked confused and shook her head.
Fanged Doom looked equally confused. “But the only other thing that could make me sneeze like this is my allergy to pet hair.” He looked under his throne and saw Angel Bunny and Opalescence.
“Urgh!” Rainbow Dash groaned when she found out that her cousin was coming for a visit. “I can’t believe my cousin is coming for a visit!”
“I didn’t even know you had a cousin,” Tank said.
Rainbow carefully filed away the letter from her cousin in the filing system that Tank and Owlowicious had built for her out of clouds. “I try not to talk about her, or even think about her. I guess for you though, it must be like when we found out that Twilight Sparkle had a big brother, who was apparently her best friend, even though she’d never even mentioned him before.”
“Kind of hard to believe,” Tank muttered.
“Eeyeah… anyway… we used to get along really well, until she got obsessed with dancing, and we drifted apart.”
“You drifted apart because you were standing on different clouds?”
Rainbow shut her eyes and shook her head. “It’s a figure of speech.”
Tank thought for a moment. “I see.”
The doorbell rang. Rainbow Dash answered the door. “Hi,” she said unenthusiastically, and stood blocking the door. Tank flew up behind her.
Rainbow’s cousin peered behind her. “Nice house you have there. Are you going to let me in?”
“Tank, this is my cousin, Crystal Prance. Crystal, this is my totally awesome pet, Tank.”
Crystal Prance was dressed in a pink tutu. “Hello, Tank. A pleasure to meet you, I’m sure.” She stood on the doorstep for a few moments before becoming impatient. “I want to come inside, Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow groaned and stood to one side. Crystal twirled into the house.
Crystal shimmied into the living room. The foxtrotted up to the bedroom. The tangoed her way across the kitchen. She sambaed through the bathroom. Rainbow watched in disbelief. How could this pony have so much energy?
At last, she returned to the living room and Rainbow finally thought she’d be able to relax. She flopped down on the cloud sofa. But today was not her lucky day.
“Get up and dance with me, you lazy bones!” Crystal insisted, despite an obvious lack of music.
Rainbow groaned and rolled her eyes. She climbed off the sofa, walked towards her cousin, and… tripped over Tank.
* * *
“A broken leg?” Crystal Prance asked, a few hours later in Ponyville hospital. “Now I won’t be able to dance with you until it’s healed… and I have to go back to Las Pegasus in three days.”
Rainbow sat in bed. “Yeah.” She eyed her copy of the latest Daring Do novel. She was just itching to start reading it. “Such a shame.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?” Crystal asked.
Rainbow shook her head. “No… just take good care of the house while you’re staying.” She knew that would be no problem — apart from dancing, if there was one thing Crystal Prance was good at, it was tidying.
“I’ll get going then. So many sights to see while I’m here. Hope you get better soon.”
Once Crystal was out of the door, Rainbow patted Tank on the head. “Nice going, buddy,” she said.
“Don’t mention it,” came Tank’s slow reply.
A little alicorn magic, and that leg would be back to normal in no time. But Rainbow could wait another three days before going to Twilight — she had a good book to occupy her in the meantime.
Steven Magnet wiped his forehead and flopped onto the park bench, having deposited his heavy bags of Hearth’s Warming Eve shopping. Being a sea serpent, his body was far too long to fit on the bench, but he did the best he could.
Once he’d caught his breath, he cracked his knuckles and was surprised but pleased to see his dear old friend Cranky Doodle Donkey out for a walk in the park with his new wife Matilda. “Cranky!” he called out, for only Matilda called him “Doodles”.
Cranky and Matilda smiled widely and trotted slowly over towards the giant purple reptile. “Steven, how good it is to see you,” Cranky said.
Steven threw his hands up in the air. “It’s simply fabulous! I’m hardly ever in town, but I decided to do a bit of Hearth’s Warming shopping, so here I am!”
“Well, we’re actually in a bit of a rush ourselves, but now you mention Hearth’s Warming Eve…” — Cranky paused and looked at Matilda who nodded — “we’d love it if you could come to our house for lunch. We’re doing a full traditional dinner with all the trimmings!”
“Ummm…” — Steven gulped — “yes, sure.” After all, it had been so long since he’d spent any time with his friend. He’d have to go back to the Carousel Boutique on the way home and cancel on Rarity. It was a shame because she’d been so excited to invite him that afternoon, but he was sure it was just her generosity of spirit, not wanting him to be alone on that special day.
After a few minutes chatting, the donkey couple headed off and Steven headed home, completely forgetting to go back into town to go and see Rarity.
Steven dropped his heavy bags as soon as he’d stepped through his front door. He brewed himself a nice cup of tea and sat down to relax. Almost as soon as he’d taken his first sip of tea, there was a ring on the doorbell. He sighed and went to answer the door.
It was the mail stallion, Care Package. Steven signed for the letter and the postal worker left, smiling, on his way to his next delivery. The serpent sat back down with his tea and tore open the envelope.
Dear Steven
You are invited to a party at Discord’s house.
Hearth’s Warming Eve, noon.
That was nice of him, thought Steven. Well, I suppose there’s no harm in stopping in on the way to Cranky’s. I’ll avoid eating anything. It’ll be fine.
Cranky… Rarity… I forgot to cancel. Steven facepalmed, almost messing up his beautifully styled moustache.
The day finally arrived. Hearth’s Warming Eve.
Steven checked his watch. 11.30. Time to begin his swim upstream to Discord’s. He knocked on the door, at just past noon, bracing himself for pandemonium.
Instead he was greeted by a rather sedate scene. Seated around a dinner table were Discord, the Smooze, and Silver Spoon.
The filly looked at Steven. “No, I don’t know why I’m here either.”
Steven took the last empty seat at the table. “I… didn’t realize this was a dinner party.”
“Why, of course,” Discord replied. “I wouldn’t ask you around at lunch time and not provide any food. That wouldn’t be very friendly of me.”
Dinner consisted of roast chimera, with potatoes, cabbage, carrots, and gravy. It was washed down with plenty of chocolate milk, fresh from a cloud of Discord’s own creation.
Steven left the house about an hour and a half later, comfortably full, and headed straight to Rarity’s intending to make his excuses quickly before heading to Cranky’s.
But it didn’t work out that way. Rarity had made Steven’s absolute favourite — smoked salmon. He couldn’t resist sitting down for another Hearth’s Warming Eve dinner. It was only a light lunch after all — salmon and salad with orange juice to drink. But it was followed by ham, cheeses, pickles, bread, crackers, and chutneys, none of which Steven could turn down.
Late in the afternoon, the sun low in the sky, and a few crisp snowflakes starting to fall, Steven approached Cranky’s door with an already full belly.
Matilda lead him through to a beautifully decorated dining room and sat him down between her and her husband.
Steven watched while Matilda brought out hay roast, with vegetables and a savoury seaweed pie. His stomach gurgled.
He raised the first mouthful to his lips, opened his mouth, but just couldn’t put the delicious-looking food inside. Sighing, he put his fork down.
“What’s wrong?” Matilda asked. “Not salty enough? I know you’re a sea serpent, so I wasn’t sure…”
“No, it’s not that,” Steven admitted. “It’s just… I’ve already eaten… twice.” He buried his face in his hands. When he peeked out, Cranky and Matilda were staring at him with looks of disbelief.
“Why didn’t you say?” Cranky said, breaking the silence.
“I just thought, you’d gone to all this effort and…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Matilda assured him. “Hearth’s Warming Eve isn’t about eating. It’s about spending time with friends and family.”
“Really?” Steven asked.
“Of course,” Cranky said. “Now let’s go play charades.”
“Great! I love charades!” Steven exclaimed. “But… don’t you two want to eat first?”
Cranky and Matilda got off their chairs and headed for the sitting room. “To be honest,” Matilda admitted, “it’s kind of a relief not to have to eat. We’re still totally stuffed after Pinkie Pie’s party this morning.”
Winona whimpered pathetically, realizing her actions. While she ate some food from her bowl in her owner’s kitchen, she heard Apple Bloom ask “what day’s today, sis?” and her master answered her sister with a simple number: it was the eighth, and Winona knew that meant one thing — a party. It was Tank’s birthday! Her pet friends would all sneak away for a party next to Fluttershy’s cottage, where it was harder to get caught.
But she still hadn’t found a gift! She murmured a curse to herself and walked to the door, scratching it so somepony would open it up. Always worked. She was out and decided to go hunt something down for Tank. Winona ran around the farm, smelling the air, hoping to perhaps sniff out the perfect present. She decided to dig around, but all she managed to do was find some hidden bones (which was cool, but she didn’t think tortoises liked those) and make a mess. She had to cover all the holes before sneaking out of the farm, when nopony was watching her. But again, Applejack knew what kind of dog she had — Winona often wanderd off for some time to feel a little freedom.
She ran to town, thinking about going to ask Owlowiscious for help — Owl knew everything about anything, but he would probably scowl at her and give her a huge lecture about how badly organized Winona was to have not have found a gift yet. So Owl was out of question. Angel probably would swear at her, so she would rather not ask the bunny. And Gummy… he was a reptile, but… okay, he wasn’t really a option.
This left Winona with only one option: Opalescence. Winona cringed at the thought of asking for the cat’s help, but that was the most plausible option she had right now. She ran towards Carousel Boutique looking for the white cat, but to her surprise, stumbled upon Opal in the street, and she had something on her paws.
Opal took a quick glance at Winona, who walked towards her with a little smile, and then hissed at the dog. “What do you want around here? Shouldn’t you be doing some dirty work around the farm pony place? You smell like rotten apples… just thought I’d mention it,” she licked her paws, not even looking at Winona, who frowned at the cat’s sarcastic behaviour.
“Unlike you, Ah’m a better friend! So Ah’m here to find Tank a gift!”
Opal widened her eyes, “Wait, you… didn’t find one yet? What a terrible friend you are!”
“Oh yeah? Pardon me, missy, but can you show me your gift?” Winona sat next to her, asking smugly.
Opal looked up and narrowed her eyes, “No. It was put in a… box, with a bow and pretty things to decorate it! As you can see, I am fancy. Unlike you,” Opal told her, humming. She played a little with her ball, meowing.
Winona frowned again, “Then tell me! What did you find for him? Ah need help! Ah can’t decide what to give him!”
Opal rolled her eyes, sighing. She growled. “Okay, fine I… I admit it. I couldn’t find Tank a gift either. Satisfied? Some creatures are just so hard to buy for!”
The dog turned her head a little to the side, “Well, why didn’t you say so?! Wecanfind somethin’ together!” Her tail shook excitedly, getting up to jump a little.
“I did rather not do that,” she replied, throwing her ball away. She got up and walked away, making sure to brush her tail in Winona’s face, making the dog sneeze. “I mean, you do not even have an idea. So I would rather work alone. We only have a few hours.”
“Well…” — Winona followed after the cat, walking beside her with her usual smile — “you could gimme an idea, I could get it, and we can give the gift together!”
Opal stared at the dog for a moment, she then desisted. “Fine. I may have an idea… Tank is usually… not the best at remembering things, like where he or Rainbow Dash put stuff…” — Opal paused — “so what we need to do is…”
Later…
“Finally! Heck, I thought you two weren’t going to come!” Angel scowled at them once both arrived at the party, at a little hill below a big tree next to Fluttershy’s cottage. There were some of Fluttershy’s other animals around, including a big intimidating bear, Harry, drinking some tea. There were carrots in the ground, tomatoes, candy (for Gummy, who somehow liked them — blame his owner), dead rats for Owlowiscious, bones and a bowl filled with sashimi (mainly for Opal, who wouldn’t accept any other kind of fish — only the best).
Tank had arrived late. Opal and Winona knew why. They had even put their present in a box and decided to give it to him first. Tank smiled. “I am… really… happy… with this party. Thanks… can’t wait to… open it!” he said, slow as always.
Opal and Winona grinned at him and then at each other, leaving Tank to talk with Angel while they went to sit beside each other with their bowls, one full of fish and the other of bones. Winona looked at her feline companion.
“Do ya think he will notice? Ah mean, his flyin’ thingy disappeared and he almost didn’t make it here in time. Do you think he will…”
Opal silenced Winona with a paw to her mouth. “Look,” she said and Winona then saw a happy Tank, a little smile on his face. His eyes were shining, but Angel’s were narrowed. “See? I told you that stealing it wouldn’t be a big deal. Tank won’t even realize it’s the same helicopter.” She smiled smugly, taking a bite of her sashimi.
Winona laughed. “Guess all’s well that ends well.”
“Oh yes, darling.” Both laughed. And no one could say they were wrong — they did get him a gift after all! And Opal learned Winona wasn’t that bad.
Applejack passed a stack of apple pies to Apple Bloom. “And these four are to take to the old ponies’ home across from Quills & Sofas.”
“Okay, AJ,” Apple Bloom said, loading them onto her cart, and beaming. “Thanks for letting me make this delivery by myself. After last time, I wasn’t sure you’d trust me.”
“Of course I trust you, little sis… now get a move on. Them pies won’t deliver themselves!” Applejack gave her younger sister an affectionate slap on the flank, and the filly towed her cart into town.
Big Mac stood behind a tree in the orchard, watching his little sister leave, headed towards Ponyville. He put on a pair of dark glasses.
Back in the farm house, Applejack took the last pie out of the oven, putting it on the windowsill to cool down. “There… that’ll be nice as a treat after dinner.” Exhausted from a morning baking pies and pastries, she decided to go upstairs to put her hooves up and catch twenty winks… okay… if she was going to be honest with herself, which she always was, maybe forty.
Two hours later, a bleary-eyed Applejack stumbled down the stairs and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. She took a sip and rested her elbows on the windowsill, watching the world go by. After a few moments, she saw Apple Bloom come in through the gateway at the front of the farm, trotting eagerly back to the house.
Apple Bloom would sure be happy about that pie they’d be having after dinner. But wait… where was the pie? Applejack looked around frantically… she hadn’t knocked it off the windowsill, had she?! The pie was nowhere to be seen! There was only one rational explanation: a pie thief!
Ten minutes later, Applejack had gathered the suspects in the living room: Apple Bloom, Big Mac, and Granny Smith. Winona sat in the corner regarding what was going on.
“Some pony has eaten the apple pie that was cooling on the windowsill!” Applejack said.
The other ponies looked at each other.
“The pie,” Applejack continued, “was for the four of us to share. Whichever pony took it, you were going to get a fair portion anyway, but now the rest of us will have none. I’m very disappointed in you… whoever it was.” She looked each of them in the eyes. “But I already know which of you it was… I’m giving you a chance to come forward and confess, and you won’t be punished.”
None of the ponies confessed.
“Apple Bloom! It was you!” Applejack accused, pointing at her younger sister.
Apple Bloom was stunned. “What?! No!”
“You love apple pie better than any of the other ponies in this family. Of course it was you!”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “No, no, no… I’ve been in Ponyville for the last two hours… how would I steal your pie?”
Applejack thought for a moment. Her younger sister’s defence did make sense.
“Besides which, if I was gonna steal a pie,” Apple Bloom continued, “I had a whole wagon full of them… the old ponies’ home wouldn’t have noticed if one pie had been missing. Neither would the school house.”
Applejack sighed. Her initial hunch hadn’t been right. She turned accusingly towards Granny Smith. “You’ve been pretty quiet during this whole thing!” she said.
“What?! Where’s the fish?!” Granny Smith spluttered, waking up.
“Where were you this afternoon?” Applejack asked.
Granny Smith thought for a while, trying to remember. “I’ve been with your great-aunt Apple Rose all afternoon.”
“And what were you doing?”
Granny Smith’s eyes shot open, all traces of sleepiness now gone. “Ummm… never you mind, young miss. That’s my business.”
Applejack looked at her grandma with curiosity. “Can Apple Rose confirm you were with her?”
“I’m sure she would.”
Her older brother was the final pony to come under Applejack’s suspicion. “So, Big Mac, where were you all afternoon?”
Big Mac gulped and looked at Apple Bloom. “I’d rather not say.”
Applejack walked straight up to the stallion and stood, her muzzle an inch away from his. “Confess, Big Mac! Be honest!”
Big Mac shook his head. “Eenope!”
Applejack knew that was all she’d get out of him. It had to be him, but she couldn’t prove it.
Winona walked casually out of the room and out into the orchard. There she found Spike, resting under a tree. “I know it was you.”
Spike looked up. “What was me?”
“You stole the pie!” Winona barked.
“What? What pie?” Spike asked.
“Nobody else could have done it, but I’ve seen you hanging around Sweet Apple Acres for the last couple of hours. You ate the pie, didn’t you?”
Spike looked around furtively. “No, it was… it was Apple Bloom!”
Winona shook her head. “Alibi.”
“Granny Smith!”
“Alibi.”
“Big Mac!”
“Alibi.”
“Well, I give up then,” Spike said, shrugging his shoulders.
“It was you!” Winona insisted. “But now every pony thinks Big Mac — your friend — is guilty.”
Spike looked at him curiously. “I thought you said he had an alibi.”
“Big Mac was following Apple Bloom around in town, making sure she was safe,” Winona explained. “But he’s never going to admit that because he doesn’t want Apple Bloom to think he doesn’t trust her.”
Spike started looking guilty.
Winona looked at him with her puppy dog eyes. “Please confess to Applejack, Spike. She’s a forgiving pony, you know that. And you know how much she values honesty. If you don’t, then Big Mac will be punished for a crime he didn’t commit.”
Spike’s heart melted. “Okay, okay, it was me. I’ll go tell Applejack.”
Winona smiled, and accompanied him on the trip to see her owner.
Applejack was as forgiving as Winona had said she would be. That night, the six of them, shared a great big apple pie, conveniently left over from Apple Bloom’s deliveries.
