It is a dark night at a bar. Two pegasi are chilling inside at a table drinking apple cider cause coffee is gross. One is named Lightning Dust. The other is named Derpy Doo.
"So, if you could bang one pony, who would it be?" Derpy said.
"I would bang you." Lightning said.
"That is really nice of you, but I don't want to bang you." Derpy said.
"But you look very bang-y." Lightning said.
"Yes, but I have a family." Derpy said.
"I can help you raise." Lightning said.
"I can't ask that of you." Derpy said.
"What if I kiss you?" Lightning said.
"Idc" Derpy said.
Lighning Dust kisses Derpy Doo.
"Okay you have convinced me let's go home and bang." Derpy said.
Applejack was kicking apples when she heard the sound of a thick accent coming into her yard. She grabbed her pigs and put them inside her and then went to go see the thick accent. The thick accent introduced itself as Photo Finish and asked if it could take pictures of Applejack to put on her bang blog.
"Ok, but y'all means that A'hm gotta' banging, rite now?" said Applejack.
"Yes" said the Photo Finish.
so they banged.
LATER
The photo finish uploaded the pics to the bang blog and she got 2 followers and lost 1.
Fiddlesticks was tuning her fiddle when Lyra the Horse came up and starting playing her lyra. It sounded very nice but fiddlesticks was distracting by it.
"Yo, your music sounds like freaking garbage, m8 plz kill yourself" Fiddlesticks said.
Lyra the Horse was hurt because she loved her lyra and secretly she wanted to bang Fiddlesticks.
"Oh, okay. Are you sure you don't want to try my lyra though? It's really fun" Lyra said.
"No" Fiddlesticks said.
"pleeeeease" said Lyra.
"Ok" said Fiddlesticks
So Fiddlesticks used the lyra but it sounded like trash so she banged it in anger.
Sapphire Shores was having a concert when somepony threw a donut at her and gave her a concussion
*28 weeks later*
Sapphire Shores woke up in a caucasian bed and found herself alone. She touched herself for a second and then touched the bed. It was very soft. She got out of the bed but then she fell and banged her head.
*28 weeks later*
She woke up in the bed and found herself in an hospital but it had a white horse with pinkie pie hair.
"What kind of dream was that" Sapphire Shores said.
"Im Nurse Redheart" the white horse with pinkie pie hair said" and i put you on drugs on your concussion lol so you wanna bang?"
Colgate was brushing her teeth when her marefriend, Roseluck, came in and starting chatting.
"Heya! So... we all know you suck at brushing teeth so why not stop brushing your teeth, and come into my room. I have a surprise for you~" Roseluck said.
"H-Hey, that uh, yeah, that uh really hurts my feelings, Roseluck, y'know? You can't just, can't just say ponies suck at brushing teeth!" said Colgate.
"But I have a surpriiiiiiise~" Roseluck chirped.
"Okay..." Colgate said.
Roseluck leads Colgate to her bedroom and shuts the door behind her. She goes over to the closet and pulls out a large furry cloth thing. Upon further inspection, she recognizes it as a fursuit of her fursona.
Mrs. Cake was hardly what you call an attentive pony (for instance, one of her foals got hit by a car and the other was kidnapped by a serial killer), but what her husband was going on about had really struck her fancy. He was mentioning how his friend from work, Spitfire, was coming over to the house for dinner, and Mrs. Cake, who had grown tired of her shit husband Mr. Cake, wanted to bring some spice into her love life.
Ding!
"Oh, I think that's her now!" Mr. Cake said.
Her husband walked over to the door, and when he opened the door, Mrs. Cake touched herself. Standing in the doorway was a bright orange pony with a toned body with just the right amount of curve. Her luxurious mane and tail were a slightly darker but exotic shade of orange that spiked off at the ends. All in all, Mrs. Cake had found herself a waifu.