Behind Red Eyes

by Ice Star

First published

[Poetry] The King is going to talk and Sombra is thinking once again. One is happy, one is suffering. Neither of them exist to the world around them.

The King is going to talk and Sombra is thinking once again. One is happy, one is suffering. Neither of them exist to the world around them, and each has words of their own. Except these words seem to say things that are impossible and with each thought the ruler of the Crystal Empire seems more and more like an impossibility.


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Perhaps they are the hue of blood... like rubies and other lifeless things.

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My name isn't Sombra. I'm the king of the Crystal Empire and have been so since I was fifteen. I'm okay at stealing things, which is part of how I got here.

My name isn't Sombra, nopony is named Sombra.

I rule everypony in this place, it was awful before I left. I don't have a name and I'm thirteen years old. I lie a lot. I like money and power but more than anything else I like to hurt ponies. I like to hurt other animals that aren't ponies too. There's magic in my head and I'm probably smart because I'm a king.

I laugh a lot too since I can't think of much else, I mean why think about things when you can do them? I am the image I created and they call this image a tyrant. Nopony remembers my name or knows who I am. Everypony knows who I am.

This is my revenge that I've wanted ever since I was born or a foal, I don't really care anymore. I am made of lies and bloodshed with magic inside my head. It told me things that I wanted to hear, so it must be good. Since I got what I wanted I know for sure, after all what else would a colt like me want?

Friends?

I don't have any friends and never will, but I have a weapon which is better. I don't like to read or ask questions since they don't do anything. I'm glad that nopony likes me because it's funnier when I hurt them. I like to conquer everything, I want everything. I'm always happy because I'm the king but also because I have money and other things that make me happy.

My name isn't Sombra because there is no Sombra.

I don't have to go anywhere anymore and neither does everypony else. Everypony stays here, where the sky is red in the daytime. It must be because of me. I'm terrifying, there is nothing that isn't afraid of me and the magic that I have, it does what nopony else would believe. Nopony can find me, no matter how hard they try it won't work because I don't exist.

My name isn't Sombra, I'm thirteen years old and I lie a lot.

Everypony who knew me is dead now and it's all my fault. I couldn't be happier. Names aren't important. I hear things. I don't need to focus on things normal ponies do because I don't think normal ponies laugh at red.

My name could be anything but it sure isn't Sombra.

My eyes used to be brown, I think. I read a book and they changed color. I think I know everything because I'm pretty sure that book knew everything. My eyes were never red when I still looked like me. I'm very happy and like ponies a whole lot. I don't care if I don't know anything because I'm the king and I can do everything. This is everything I could have asked for. I'm not better than anypony because that doesn't matter, I don't even care about what I want since I just do or say whatever comes into my head most of the time. I rule an empire and my eyes aren't red. I hurt everypony. I talk a lot even though there is nopony to talk to, so I don't talk to them. I talk all the time and sometimes I don't.

My name doesn't matter and I don't sleep at night.

I don't care about anypony or any creature, really. I don't ask many questions anymore. I rarely plan anything because it gets in the way of what I'm doing and who ever got anywhere by making really long plans with too many steps anyway. Nopony helps anypony and neither do plans, so I only made, like, two and now I'm here all by myself. Nopony helped me. I don't want to go anywhere or see anything. I'm not afraid of anything or anypony, it's just that nothing is interesting or worth thinking about.

I always want to be happy all the time and names don't make you happy or important so they are useless and stupid and who needs them anyway so I took one that wasn't mine because names don't matter at all.

Whoever says names matter is wrong. Names are just funny sounds that don't do anything and sound stupid. You can change the name of anything and it won't matter because it doesn't matter what your name is or anything about your head and thoughts because to me that's all stupid and I'm the king so if it's stupid to me it is stupid because I said so. All that matters is that I kill ponies and I like it a whole lot. That's it. I'm the king and I live in a castle and I'm always okay.

I don't have a name. It isn't Sombra, and my eyes were not red.

Sombra is just something I call myself, I can't say it's really me, if anything at all is since names don't do that, you can't make yourself with a name. You can't make anything. I call myself Sombra because I needed something new. I needed something wrong and I wanted it to hurt somepony. I wanted it to lie. I am the king.

I am the King of the Crystal Empire, I am thirteen years old and have ruled since I was fifteen. Names are nothing, I want money, power, and blood at the expense of the innocent. I read a book and there is magic in my head.

My eyes were not red and my name is not Sombra.

Or could they burn like fire?

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My name is Sombra.
I'm not the King and
have not been since
I was fifteen years
old. I am nearly
seventeen years
of age.

I have only talked to two ponies in
the couple of years that I have lived.
I killed a wizard in the mountains.
Part of it wasn't me. I won't explain.
I'm cold and honest. I hate ponies
and never wanted this. I'm not
seen or heard by anypony,
or at least not in a way they
could ever know. Ponies aren't
very smart or insightful.

My life depends on one word
and that word is
might.

As in could be, possibly, never-will,
hopeless mess where everything
is red and nopony hears me scream.
That is might.

I am unbreakable in my head, for all
others would have ceased because they
are weak and stupid. I am not an
assassin. I don't like to talk, I am not
a weapon. I have questions and answers.
Books with blood-soaked pages.
One of the words they have is might.
Hopeless hope. They have magic and
lost knowledge. They forgot so much.

I am magic. I am a book, and I am a pony.
I am also none of the above. Or all of the
above. I like to think because nopony else
does. I know things I will not explain.
There is a pony who made me come here.
I can't move sometimes. I don't sleep.
I don't eat much. I don't laugh. I never
smile. But I can see everything.

The walls get closer everyday and night.
Like one long hallway, but crooked. Or
maybe a never ending scroll. I can't
leave. I wanted to go everywhere
alone and see everything alone.
I am the craziest pony alive.
You can only ever save yourself
so that is what I try to do where
every day is a win that fails and all
I do is learn, oh, and of course it gets
worse. He always hurts others.

Sometimes I still wonder why.
But I know the answer.
Why go out of your way to hurt
some kind of creature like these
crystal ponies if it isn't for
revenge. They did nothing
to him. They weren't even
obnoxious enough to
be silenced so why does he?
He thinks it's fun to do this,
even though there is no revenge.
To him I'm not alive so
he can hurt me more than the others.

I
know
better.

I know so much and one day
I'll save myself even if the Book
said I couldn't end him. I can
try another way. There must be
one. Why couldn't he just read
the whole thing? I wouldn't be
here if he had done that.
Or maybe he just didn't care.
Why was he so desperate for this?
I know all these answers.
I'm not sorry for any of this
but it still isn't right.
I know this. Mostly, I don't
care. Not like a plebeian
pony would. I've screamed
so much but none here can
be saved. Except maybe me.
I'm the only one who can't give up.

My name is Sombra.
I'm not the king.
I'm not his weapon.
My name was stolen
from me. I'll take it
back and so much
more if there was
just something I
could do AND
THE HALLWAYS MOVE
I don't sleep. At all.
THEY GET SM
ALLER
EVERY
DAY.
I see night
the most.
STARS ARE EVERYWHERE
AND SO IS THE FIRE
I'M STILL SCREAMING
BECAUSE IT JUST
DOESN'T WORK.
When I see
anything...
anything at all.
Through my eyes.
I'm very patient.
I'm very manipulative.
I'm cold and honest.
I'm beyond fear.
There is something
beyond fear and
mortal terror.
I know it well.

It's nice when it is
quiet and I just see
things instead of hear
them.
While I
may not
ever
doubt
myself
I do wonder
if I'm naive
at times.

...Maybe.

I want my freedom, which
I've never had. I'm not
enslaved like the crystal
ponies...
For me it's worse.
SO MUCH WORSE
AND MOST OF THE
TIME I CAN'T TAKE
IT, I HATE IT HERE.

One day it'll be quiet
at least...

I'll leave
forever.
I'm
Sombra and
somehow
It'll happen.
I can at least try to be alone.
Like I want.

I watch
everything
fall apart.

Do I have to
call myself
a...
well...
DoIhavetocallmyselfademon?

I wouldn't bring
a map with me
when I leave.
That's what
stars are for.

I'll be so far away
and nopony will
ever find me.

I'M MISERABLE HERE.

I may not ever be happy
but at least I could
leave.

I'mawarethatheisafraidofmirrors.
He thinks they lie.
He lies.
I could kill a mirror, he tells me,
...I can kill lots of things, he makes me.

My eyes are red.
They're still alive.
So am I.

I don't talk much,
obviously. But...

I'mcalleddemonmonstertheybegI'mnotsorrybutitstillisn'trightwhywhywhyandIhateitbecausethey'rerightandtheyjustdon'tknowbuttheyarealsoverywrong.

I think a lot.

And one
day... like I want it
to be. The rest really
will be silence.
I'll have no need
to talk at all.
Or see anypony.
Ever.

My name is Sombra.
My eyes are red.
And I'm going to live
no
matter
what.