> Simple Tricks are for Fillies > by Erina Tail Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Pilot > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1 “WHAT THE HELL?!” Twilight screamed. Rarity had leant her a particularly interesting novel to read and asked that she be part way done by the time she got home. “Ya’ know what I’m done for a while. I can’t believe she called this literature.” She set the book down and moved to the kitchen for some coffee. I can’t read any more of that dreck. I need to relax. Twilight thought to herself. Maybe I can just slip back into my bedroom for a while. No harm in a little ‘Dark Souls’ to distract myself for a moment. If there was picture for the definition of paranoia it would be Twilight at this very moment. She’d been awake for maybe a total of twenty minutes. She quickly threw on a clean pair of panties and pants. She ran into the bathroom to grab a towel. She quickly threw the towel on the fair sized damp spot. Ok so there was a lot of harm. How did I end up in this situation?!Where’s that goddamn magazine?! I know I set it down somewhere. She spotted it but only just as Rarity opened the door. Her jaw dropped as she witnessed the scene placed before her eyes. A rather screwed up bed and a disheveled librarian. With her glasses askew Twilight looked up at the surprised mare in front of her “So would you believe me if I said I was dusting?” “Darling, as much as I would love to believe that. You’re awful at lying and the only form of damage control appears to be that towe…” Rarity stopped speaking as she gasped and ran over to the towel. “This was a designer Royal Velvet towel. Are you kidding?! I just bought this yesterday and it’s already ruined.” “It’s only sat there for a couple of minutes.” Twilight stated but it did her no good as Rarity’s eyes drifted over to the magazine set on the nightstand. It was open to a centerfold. The picture was of a mare, scantily clad as with all these magazines. “I expected more class from you. That is why I gave you a novel. But you… gugh… this is disgusting. Where did you even get this?!” Rarity was outraged. “Class and sophistication is the only thing I ask of you.... Well that and paying half the rent. But seriously this is second time I’ve seen this… garbage-” She held up the magazine while saying this.”- And seriously magicians really. I thought… nevermind.” “That book you gave was awful and definitely not my style. I stopped one-hundred pages in, to play a game about… well that’s too complicated to explain. Just know it’s a lot better than that ‘15 Shades of Purple’ mess. Besides can’t you just wash the towel?” Twilight deadpanned. “I’m not touching that it’s soaked with you.” Rarity said, clearly disgusted by the prospect of washing Twilight out of the towel. “Although I do apologize for freaking out as I did. That magazine is still garbage but, you may very well do whatever you please. Now clean yourself up we’re going out to dinner and I’ve prepared tickets to a show later tonight.” “But I’ve got studying to do for an exam. Do we have to go?” Twilight whined. Rarity began walking out the door but looked over her shoulder back at the librarian. “Well I thought you liked magicians.” Rarity said as she left the room. Twilight blushed and turned away. Her hand lit up up for a brief second as the magazine floated into the air and then vanished out of existence. “Well now that’s taken care of.” Twilight said as she patted her hands off on her jeans. “Where did you send that?” “Nothing much, just a pocket dimension where I store a multitude of things I don’t want seen. Oh and school supplies I keep those there too. That way I don’t have to carry any bags to university.” Twilight said with a shrug. The two proceeded to go their separate ways as to get prepared for their night out. When Twilight and Rarity arrived, it came as quite a shock. Stretching all the way around the block for this magic show. At about midway through this titanic line, Twilight began to grumble. “Why does this line for some no name magic show reach around the block?” She asked. “Darling, you’d be interested too if you had the flyer that was boasting about how great and powerful she is. Besides this is new, up and coming. Her tricks apparently defy science,” Twilight snorted, “Defy science? Nothing defies science, it just takes longer for us to understand it. Wanna know what defied science? Chaos Theory. Then we figured out why, that is what science does,” “Oh well we’ll just have to wait a while.” Rarity let out a sigh. “Not even that,” Twilight remarked. About an hour later they finally arrived at the front of the line. The stallion manning the booth looked at them, clearly bored out of his mind. “Do you have your tickets ma’am?” “Why of course.” Rarity reached into her purse and handed both tickets to the stallion in the ticketbooth.”Here they are.” “Thank you ma’am. Here are your backstage passes.” he said,in monotone. Once they entered the auditorium,Twilight looked down in shock at the VIP necklace that had been handed to her by her friend. “You got us backstage passes!” Twilight shrieked. “I know how much you like to inquire upon how tricks are done, darling,” Rarity smiled at Twilight, “okay we should be A4 and A5.” She said pointing at a pair of front row seats. They proceeded down the aisle to their seats. After they had sat down Twilight noticed that it wasn’t just her and Rarity. She looked to her side to see an earth pony mare holding Rarity’s hand. “You invited her?” Twilight sneered, looking from Applejack to Rarity “Come on, darling, Applejack is only here because she already had tickets. I just so happened to have met up with her earlier today, just to find out what seat she acquired,” “Okay. Just if you decide to brandish your relationship, do it somewhere else. I wanna see the show.” Twilight complained. Rarity started to reply but was cut off by the opening of a curtain on stage. There was a massive fireworks display and a smoke bomb went off on stage. Illusionary magic. You typically don’t see anyone specialize in that. Twilight took a mental note. A cyan mare appeared on stage. The smoke quickly cleared away to reveal that she was wearing a lavender pointed silk wizard hat covered in stars and a matching cape. Her gaudy golden boots practically blinded the audience once the spotlights hit them. She wore a flashy purple blouse and mini skirt. “THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRRRRRRIXIE, will dazzle and amaze with feats of magic beyond comprehension.” She threw out another set of illusionary fireworks and with a flash was out in the audience. She stood and clapped for herself, the crowd turned to look at her. “Trixie was amazing do you not agree?” With that she was back on stage performing the usual acts and telling stories. Twilight watched the rest of the show intently. She could swear she had seen that mare somewhere before but couldn’t exactly place her. Although it was somewhat difficult to pay attention when her roommate and company couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. She gently tapped Rarity’s shoulder “Show’s over now. Time for us to go backstage.” “Go by yourself darling. Applejack and I will need the house to ourselves for a while.” Rarity said. The couple proceeded to walk out of the auditorium along with mostly everyone else. Twilight shrugged it off and went ahead to the backstage area. To Twilight’s surprise the whole place was empty and sitting in the back on a stool crying was the showmare. > At Home > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 2 A soft sobbing sound was coming from the far end of the room.Being careful not to make any noise, Twilight slowly edged her way towards the source. “Uhm… Excuse me I’m uh… here for the backstage access.” The only response she received was a snivel. She continued to move towards the source. “I really liked the show.” “You’d be the only one.” The showmare replied. “No one stayed after, besides you.” Twilight saw a tissue engulfed in light pink magic float towards Trixie. “Trixie… appreciates your staying, but doesn’t know what to do no one has ever bothered before.” “I wanted to say how interesting I think it is that you specialize in illusionary magic. I’ve seen someone do anything like that… with illusionary magic that is. “Twilight said calmly. “I actually don’t exactly know what to do either. Actually if you’re feeling upset i have a friend who could cheer you up.” “Trixie actually wouldn’t mind that. Though… Why are you offering this?” Trixie stood up and moved over to Twilight slowly. “Offering friendship is just what I do.” Twilight awkwardly held out a hand for a handshake. It was accepted if briefly. They arrived at the storefront of Sugarcube Corner a little after eight. It appeared as though it had been closed up for a while. Twilight noted that it was particularly odd to see the shop closed so early. Pinkie usually keeps the place running till midnight. Huh maybe she got distracted and shut down early. “Is this where your friend is? This place seems deserted… ahem… no pun intended.” She smiled a little at her own joke and Twilight chuckled. Twilight noticed there was a note stuck to the front door: Dear Friends, I’ve gone to throw a party for a couple of old friends. I will be back sometime later. I honestly don’t know when I’ll be back. Love, Pinkamena Diane Pie “I guess she’s not home. Sorry I dragged you all the way out here.” Twilight sighed. “Who’s house are we closer to, anyways?” “I am unsure of where we are. If you wouldn’t mind… AH!” Trixie started screaming as a baby alligator landed on her hair and spastically bit her hair. Twilight pulled the alligator off her head on set him down. Twilight leaned down and pet gummy. “So do you have any reason for jumping down here?” As if the alligator understood her he stuck out his tongue with a note attached. “Another NOTE!” Trixie shouted. Twilight’s eyes quickly flitted over the note. Her face elicited a small blush but it disappeared before Trixie could notice it. She threw the note into her pocket and looked around at nothing in particular. “What did it say?” The showmare inquired. She lifted one eyebrow in a cheesy gesture. “ Oh you know nothing important… heh heh… just ya’ know Pinkie being Pinkie.” Twilight replied nervously. “Ummmmm… ok.” “Well I guess we could just head back to my place. I have a couch you could sleep on.” Twilight offered kindly. “I guess I could. I see no problem.” Trixie stated. Twilight unlocked the door and gestured for Trixie to step in. It was dark inside, as was expected. Twilight her best to not make any noise as she couldn’t tell if her roommate plus one were asleep yet. “Is the couch O-” She was interrupted by her left foot being caught in something, in a failed attempt to dislodge her foot she somehow managed to get her right foot caught as well, despite her attempt to emulate her inner Kevin Bacon, she swiftly and painfully tumbled to the floor. She looked up at Trixie “Well I suppose that was a fair enough way to find that roommates are probably asleep.” Trixie giggled “I guess they set a… booby trap.” She burst into giggles and fell on the floor. Twilight put out her hand in a gesture to help, but Trixie shook her head and picked herself up. “By the way I’m fine with the couch. It won’t bother me wherever I end up sleeping. And who here is a D-cup might I ask.” “Applejack is here so that’s probably hers.” Twilight sneered.”By the way. I noticed you stopped talking in third-person a while ago.” Twilight noted. “I have a stage persona much like any good performer. DJ-PON3 is like the best example. I met her off stage once and she’s a total introvert. Wouldn’t say a single thing.” “I met her once she actually use to live here. Pinkie had her DJ at my brother’s wedding. She was great.” Twilight smiled as she remembered the event. Trixie smiled “I guess I should get to sleep and so should you. We’ve been out late.” Twilight waved as she walked to her bedroom, careful this time to not trip over any discarded clothes. She opened the door and got ready for bed. I’ve never been this ready to lay down. As she lied down she picked up the note gummy had given her off of her table. Twilight woke up the next morning to the smell of baked apples. If there was one benefit for Twilight to Applejack staying over was, homemade pastry treats for breakfast. This was one of the few times Rarity broke her strict diet. Upon entering the living room she looked into the kitchen to see that Applejack was making fritters. Trixie was still asleep on the couch, so twilight took it upon herself wake her up. Twilight slowly reached out and shook Trixie’s shoulder gently “Trixie come on get up.” she whispered. Trixie slowly turned over and opened one eye slightly. She made an indistinct grumbling noise and started to get up. “G-morning… I never got your name last night, actually.” “My name’s Twilight. The one making breakfast is also the one who left her bra on the floor and made me trip.” she said passive-aggressively. “So she’s part of the passionate couple that kept me up last night.” Twilight started to blush but faked a cough and hid her face behind her hands. “Yeah, they’re who you heard.” She laughed nervously. “So now that ah’ve been introduce...apparently. Who did you bring home last night?” Applejack waggled her eyebrows at the librarian. Twilight was taken aback by the question and didn’t get the chance to answer before Rarity stepped out from her bedroom to defend her. “Aj dearest, don’t give her too much trouble. Although I’d like to know why the stage-magician from last night is now in our home.” As Aj removed a fritter from the pan Rarity leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. “I’ll introduce myself. My name is Trixie Lulamoon. You all already know my job.” she gave a weak smile. “Welp, nice ta meet ya’. Oh and breakfast is ready.” Applejack announced. > A Walk > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 3 About halfway through breakfast Rarity called Twilight was over to her room. “What did she hear?” Rarity questioned loudly. Twilight shuffled nervously but kept a straight face. “I have n-no I-idea what you’re talking about.” She stammered, her eyes darted back and forth trying not to meet with the other mare. “Oh do you now. I bet you wouldn’t like it if I searched in the top drawer here.” Rarity immediately and violently pulled the drawer off the bedside table. There wasn’t much in it other than a pair of pajamas and a few pens. “Why are you so insistent on proving you aren’t the one who kept her awake?!” “Because after six rounds with a farm hand you get pretty tired and when someone else keeps you awake and then you get blamed for what kept you awake.” Twilight could practically see the venom dripping off of her words. “Okay, fine, ya’ got me. You won’t say anything will you?” Twilight asked sheepishly. “I might if I knew why you were making such a racket. Celestia you were loud.” Twilight blushed deeply and tried to hide behind her hands. She recovered after a few moments, only to ask “You aren’t really acting like yourself, why?” “Would you act like yourself if you received very little sleep because your roommate was up ludicrously late moaning loud enough to be heard across the hall and threw a wall. As well as with…” The mare in front of her visibly calmed and she continued. “Look I’m tired and I shouldn’t take it out on you, but I am aggravated at the situation in front of me.” “Okay? We should get back out there.” Twilight stated simply. “One last thing. She’s from… ahem… well you know what I’m getting at.” Rarity stammered. “Oh yeah… heh heh… that. I think so. Hence last night, I took a look to check and got a little carried away.” Twilight chuckled nervously. The pair made their way out of Twilight’s room and back to the kitchen. Applejack was the first to notice they were back. “Hey babe. You okay?” The question was directed at Rarity but out of reflex Twilight went to answer out of instinct.”Fi-“she started, but immediately realized she shouldn’t finish. “Applejack dearest, you needn't worry I just wanted to speak to with Twilight for a moment.” Rarity reassured. The farm mare shot Twilight a glance but shrugged off her suspicions. Trixie suddenly stood with an air of finality. “It’s about time I leave. Trixie does have another show tonight after all.” Twilight stood with a panicked look on her face. “I’m gonna be late for my presentation!” She quickly shoved her fritter in her mouth and threw the plate in the sink. There was a loud shattering noise as the plate landed. The unicorn didn’t seem to notice as she ran to her room. Rarity stopped her “How long until you need to be there?” “About two hours… one hour and fifty-nine now.” Twilight said clearly miffed. “I’ll help you get your stuff.” Rarity said as she followed her into Twilight’s room. Applejack looked over at Trixie “They’ve done that a lot this mornin’ haven’t they.” Trixie simply shrugged in response. Twilight’s room was in much better condition than it was yesterday. She moved quickly to her dresser. With a flick of her wrist the drawer opened and a few unsharpened pencils levitated into the air and vanished. Rarity moved over and closed the drawer. “I know for fact the lecture hall isn’t too far from here. You have more than enough time to get there and why don’t you take that walk with our guest.” “Why would I need to do that?” “Some basic companionship on walks is nice. And you usually run there anyways.” Rarity deadpanned. “I need to get there early to prepare the lecture. Ms.-“Twilight stopped herself. Her roommate had that look that said you’re not getting out of this. “Fine I’ll walk with her.”An oversized grin spread across Rarity’s face after Twilight finished. “Although don’t say anything about my convincing you to walk with her.” She added “She may not take too kindly to your being forced to walk with her.’ And on that note they both left the room and went back to the kitchen. “Hey Trixie would you mind-“Twilight cleared her throat.”-walking with me?” She squeaked on last piece of the sentence making herself wince. “I wouldn’t mind. You’re going to the college right?” Trixie said ignoring her host’s odd behavior. Twilight nodded in response. Outside it was beautiful. The crisp spring air blew through threw trees along the side of the road. An awkward silence hung in the air between two mares as they walked slowly. “Soooooooo… How’s… uhh… life?” Twilight ventured. “You know just as well as it is when no one show’s up to Trixie’s shows.” Trixie replied hanging her head low. Twilight shot a small illusionary firework in front of her. It exploded into a purple smiley face that winked and then disappeared. Trixie’s magic trails briefly pulsed and she leaned back. “Umm what was that wink about?” “Oh ..heh heh… just a uhhh friendly wink. Just jokin’ around.” She shifted uncomfortably. She couldn’t seem to make eye contact. “So you said you have another show tonight, right?" “Yes but we’ve only sold maybe fifteen tickets. Last night’s numbers were only because I was new in town.” She frowned slightly. Twilight realized she had made things worse. “Make it sixteen. I’d be clad to come.” Twilight stated. The mare walking beside her let a smile grace her lips as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a ticket. “Do you just keep these on you for moments like this?” “No this is yours from last night. I figure giving me somewhere to stay for the night is payment enough for the ticket.” “But it’s my fault that you were too far from your… uhh… where do you live?” Twilight asked. “I have a caravan not too far from the theater. I travel from town to town doing my performances. I only booked three weeks of shows here.” The magician stated. “So you won’t be here very long. When are your shows?” Twilight asked slightly disappointed to hear that a new friend would be departing so soon. “The next two weeks I’m holding them and Saturday and Sunday. These two shows are the only weird ones on Sunday and Monday.” Trixie said as they arrived at the front entrance to the college. “And it looks like this is your stop.” Twilight kicked at the ground. “I guess so. I’ll see you at the show tonight.” And with that they parted ways. > One Wrong Step > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 4 Twilight turned onto the pathway that led toward the lecture hall. She increased her pace slightly but not into a full run; due to the fact she had started to panic. Will I have time to set up?! Twilight quickly pulled a pocket watch out of her pocket dimension which read 9 am Alright I still have an hour. She kept her pace the same even though she had more than enough to set up. As Twilight counted on her path the lecture hall she started to think of her presentation, but her mind to drift to other topics. These topics for the most part were varied. Twilight briefly debated whether or not Rarity would interrogate her when she got home, but the thought was fleeting with a quick realized that the answer was undoubtedly yes. She thought about Trixie’s show that she would see later that night. I hope it’s not the exact same show as last night. She shrugged the thought off. If Trixie did Twilight would at least get a second chance to observe the tricks again. Maybe Trixie can show me more how she creates her fireworks after the show. Although, I would need to focus harder to keep unnecessary other things out of my simple smiles. She was about to consider where that had come from when she looked up from the ground to see The Lecture Hall door. She pushed her hands into the door and aside from actually opening the door she sprained wrists. Pull not push. The Lecture Hall was normally empty at this hour, but today aside from her their was someone else. The person’s radiance was that of the sun itself. It was none other than her mentor, who had come from out of town to see her “Favorite Student” give a presentation to the rest of her class. “Twilight Sparkle! How are you?!” Her mentor shouted loud enough for her voice to echo through the whole room. She ran over and pulled her student into a vice like grip. “Prin-“ Twilight choked. “let go.” She managed to choke out. “Oh!” She exclaimed dropping Twilight to the ground. Twilight landed on her knees and started coughing like a seventy-five year old smoker who just walked up a flight of stairs. Twilight’s coughing fit was interrupted as a screamed pierced the silent room. Twilight looked for the source and saw the fleeting hair of a classmate from Arcane 108 “What was her problem? She’s usually so calm.” Twilight asked once she recovered. “I don’t know but I should go see what caused such a problem. Goodbye for now.” With that Twilight was left to finish setting up her presentation. I can’t screw this up. This presentation accounts for thirty percent of my grade. Twilight thought to herself while she was organizing slides in the projector. This thing is archaic. Why don’t they get one that hooks up to a computer? Twilight took a look at the computer on the desk next to her. Never mind that computer would probably explode just trying to process the programs required to run a projector. Twilight chuckled lightly at her own joke. Time passed by quickly and in no time the lecture hall was filled to the brim with students that had showed up for her presentation. Twilight tried to psyche herself up before the presentation, but that only accomplished making her even more nervous rather than she was earlier. “Now Time Travel…” Twilight started into her presentation then flipped to the next slide, only to realize she hadn’t put the slide in the second slide and had instead left it in her pocket dimension. Twilight flicked her hand and absent mindedly grabbed the first thing she could reach in the pocket dimension. Now students in the front row saw her mistake and laughed at it not trying to say anything to her as it would make for an interesting difference from normal class. People in the back saw it and tried to warn her, but weren’t heard. Discord stroked his beard and with a gleeful smirk he snapped his fingers and the item was now a slide. Twilight levitated the slide over to the projector and inserted it. On the projection against appeared a scantily clad magician using a light grayish magenta aura to tease somewhere very very sensitive. Twilight realized what was on screen and ripped it out of the projector and sent it back into the pocket dimension then pulled out the real slide and quickly placed it onto the projector but the damage was already done. Celestia stood up and gave Twilight a disapproving glance. “You’ll give your presentation on another day. For now I’d like you to know that you’ll be having a meeting with myself and the dean tomorrow morning. For now you should leave, you’ve done enough.” Celestia stated as she walked out of the room. Twilight stood in shock for a moment before her mind kicked into gear. She quickly grabbed all her slides in her magic and in a flash was gone. A student in the back stood up her magenta hair shaking slightly “Can anyone explain what just happened?” A large crash was heard in the upper floor of Golden Oaks Library as Twilight appeared and immediately ran into a bookshelf. “I’m gonna need to clean that aren’t I?” A younger male voice called out from the lower floor. “Yeah. Sorry Spike the presentation didn’t go anything like I expected.” She shuddered at the thought of how awful this morning had gone. The day can still be salvaged. “Oh actually I’ll re-organize this if you wouldn’t mind handling the front for a little longer.” She sighed; organizing would definitely calm her down. About halfway through re-organizing the shelf she had knocked everything off of, her phone rang. There was a text message from an unknown number. Hey. How’s it shakin’? Twilight stared. Did she know this person? Who is this? And how did you get my number? A few minutes went by before a reply came through. Oh! This is Trixie. While you and Rarity were talking, AJ gave me her number. When I realized I hadn’t asked for yours this morning I texted her and asked for it. She didn’t have yours but she did have Rarity’s. So I texted Rarity and she happened to have yours Twilight threw a few more books on the shelf only half paying attention as she sent out another text. Why the hell does Applejack not have my number?! Twilight decided to ask something different, and not hurt her friend; even if it was indirectly. Makes sense all though I’d imagine Rarity kept you going with some kind of fashion discussion for a little while. Twilight threw the last book back on the shelf. “Hey! Spike I’ll take the front for while if you want a break.” She yelled downstairs. A teenage boy with green hair emerged from the stairs on the other side of the room. He wore a purple jacket that was slightly too small but matched his outfit. “Hell yeah! I’d like a break. I’ve been working all morning.” “Spike don’t cuss it doesn’t make you sound cool.” Twilight scolded him. She heard her phone go off again and pulled it out of her pocket. Yo where do you work? I was wondering if I could pick you up after work and we could hang for a while before the show. “Ahhh! Come on you do it!!” Spike argued. Twilight proceeded to ignore him and shot a text back to Trixie. Yeah that sounds great. I work at Golden Oaks Library. It’s pretty close to my place actually. That’s cool I’ll be there around 5. K? Sure. Much like usual the rest of the day passed slowly. A few people came in, although they were just regulars. Around five Spike walked to the front counter and said “ Twi I’m headin’ out for the night.” “Leaving early huh. What for?” She asked skeptically. “I’ve got a date!” Spike said confidently popped his jacket collar. Everyone Twilight thought to herself. “With who?” She asked incredulously. “Sweetie Belle.” Spike said curtly. “Is it an actual date.” Twilight jabbed. “Well no. She said that her and Silvy are going to the movies and she didn’t want me to feel alone.” Spike said dejectedly. “Oh. It’s fine buddy.” Twilight patted him on the shoulder. “One day you’ll find someone.” She rubbed his head. “Yeah… I guess.” Spike chuckled and headed for the door. “See ya’ later” With that he left Twilight alone once again. A few moments later there was a knock on the door. “We’re still open.” Twilight answered back sounding more bored than she would usually be in a library. Trixie stepped through the door. “Well I guess if you don’t want to see me then.” “No I just was bored waiting for the past few minutes. Where do you want to go?” Twilight asked casually. “We can decide as I close up.” “I don’t really know. We have until nine twenty, then I have to go and get ready for the show.” Trixie informed Twilight. “ Do you play games?” Twilight asked absently whilst she ushered Trixie out the door and locked it behind her. “Cause if you do, we could head back to my place and play some games.” “I mean I play some platformers on occasion like uhh… Trowel Warrior. Rip keyboard .” “Yeah of course you have played it was critically acclaimed.” Twilight said unenthusiastically. “So I guess we could play games.” Trixie said as they walked away. > Weddings fortold > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 5 The sound of the door closing behind them echoed through the empty house. “Hello?” Twilight tested lightly shouting into her home. There was no reply. “I guess no one’s home.” “Did you expect anyone to be here?” Trixie asked, a moderate tone of sarcasm in her voice. Twilight chose to ignore her tone and answered “Not really but it’s always good to double check.” She made the last k sound much harder than usual to emphasize her point. “Anyways, since no one’s home I’ll go get the X-Box. Make yourself at home.” Twilight left the room and Trixie made her way over to the couch. The once well lit living room that she had been in this morning was now casted in shadows that loomed everywhere. Cracks of light in the parts in the blinds glowed like embers of light in the dark times. Trixie sighed as she relaxed and began to sink into the couch. Trixie’s relaxation was disrupted by a noise coming from down the hall. A couple of the cords Twilight had been carrying had hit the doorframe to her room. Trixie stood up to offer her help but figured that Twilight had a handle on her magic and was porbley able to carry the cords and console without assistance. “Ok!” Twilight shouted happily as the cords and system flew across the room and hooked themselves into the TV. “We’re all set.” The system powered on with a ding and a circle on the face of the console lit up. Twilight searched hastily for the TV remote. Once she found it she quickly hit the power button and instantly the room filled with light from the screen. On the homepage sat a large picture of a burning suit of arming crushing ash in one hand; a sword in his other, held at his side. Large text said “Dark Souls III”. “Why not start with the first?” Trixie pondered. “I want to give you a more forgiving experience.” Twilight said, a mischievous grin on her face. “Duly noted.” Trixie stated cautiously. The game started up and all was silent again for a moment. That didn’t last long however as soon after the logos disappeared the room exploded with sound as chanting emanated from the speakers. Twilight calmly reached for another remote and turned the volume down. Trixie calmly uncurled from the ball she had pulled herself into. “Why on earth is that so loud?!” Trixie yelled. “Surround sound is fantastic but not if you’re not used to having it blast like that.” Twilight said and then added to herself how did she volume even get turned to one-hundred ten. Twilight tossed Trixie the controller. “All menus are controlled with the d-pad.” Was all she said. Trixie selected new game and sat through the opening cutscene with slight interest and was dropped into a character customization menu. “There’s so much here.” She said in amazement. “From Software usually does a good job with building extremely in depth character creators.” Twilight stated matter of factly. Trixie didn’t reply as she was absorbed deep within the character creator. Screen after screen flashed before them as a plethora of seemingly hasty decisions we’re made and menus were discarded. Before Twilight even had a moment to speak they were back at the first screen looking at much different player model. “What just happened?” Twilight asked slightly dazed and holding a hand to her forehead. “Illusion to speed up your perception of time. Character customization menus are only really interesting if you’re the one in control.” Trixie stated matter of factly as she proceeded to name the character after herself. “So how much time did we lose?” Twilight asked frantically. “I don’t know. I didn’t check.”Trixie said pointedly. “Oh Goddess!” Twilight shouted, grabbing Trixie by the shoulders. “What if we’re late. We can’t be late! You’re the performer! Oh n-” Twilight was abruptly cut off by a magic aura holding her mouth shut. “Calm down I just checked the time we lost thirty minutes it’s around six twenty. We don’t have to leave until eight thirty.” Trixie deadpanned. “Great because of your panic I missed the opening cutscene.” She crossed her arms frustratedly. Twilight shook her head to ground herself. “Ok. Since you missed the game doing it welcome to The Cemetery of Ashes. As far lore goes this place is really important. If you pay attention later it’ll be kin-” Trixie cut her off “What is my motive. I like story but right now I see a thing and I want it dead.” She preceded to snarl uncharacteristically. “Oh…” Twilight laughed awkwardly. ”So your motive is to get to Firelink Shrine. Which is just the other side of The Cemetery here.” Trixie nodded. “And in order to make this go a little faster I’ll give you a basic run on the controls.” Twilight proceeded to give a brief but highly detailed overview of the game’s less than simple control scheme. Trixie tried out each individual control and after said “Ok. I think I’ve got a hold on this.” She stared intently at the screen as her character of the same name ran toward it’s first of many unfortunate victims. She performed an expert slash with her mail breaker and three hits later the enemy was no more. It was here that twilight chose to interject. “In the bottom right you’ll see a number appear and increase every time you kill something. This the amount of souls you have and it will help you level up. Of course you ca-” Trixie cut her off again as she ordered her character to move forward. “Look this is nice playing a game with someone and I like Legend of Zelda. But Navi doesn’t really add to an enjoyable experience. If ya’ catch my drift.” “Oh.” Twilight looked slightly hurt but it wasn’t anything that wouldn’t clear up quickly. Trixie decided however that it was time to attempt some damage control. “Look a Fey or a Gumshoe is okay but don’t become the next Roll.” Twilight smiled. “I have no idea what those references were but I’ll assume they were compliments.” Twilight glanced over at screen and upon seeing where Trixie was gasped and put her hand on the magician’s shoulder. “Ok. Sooooo I’m assuming I need to do something here.” Trixie said a hint of disappointment in her tone. “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” Twilight sounded like a dog about to be given a bone. “Make a right down that dark pathway.” “Uh-huh. Ya’ know usually the only time you see go in and dark pathway in the same sentence is when the word don’t is put in front of the statement.” Trixie said mildly confused. Twilight only and made hand movements to usher her forward. “Eh, Screw it. You’ve done this before.” Trixie ushered her character to the right. The water forced her to roll repeatedly as to keep a good pace. She rose from the water and arrived in a large dimly lit cavern. There wasn’t really much to the area aside from a large crystal formation against the back wall and a small white orb. Twilight interjected once more. “That orb is an item, go get it may prove useful.” Trixie decided she better not argue and moved towards the orb. As she approached she heard a snoring sound. She looked around, the only thing near her was the crystal formation. She moved inches closer to the orb. She heard the ticking of claws on rock. Trixie once again turned to the right but this time she saw no crystal formation. In its place stood a lizard nearly triple the size of her character. “The hell...is…that?” “Nothing much, just a ravenous crystal lizard.” Twilight said nonchalantly. “And you didn’t think to tell me.” Trixie shouted as she mashed the B button. This did nothing more than roll dodge around the room. This caused the camera to be nearly impossible to follow. “Don’t help me or anything!?” “Oh! Right, You have two options you can grab the item and die.” Twilight stated. “AND!?” Trixie said impatiently. “Or run and come back for the item later. The choice is yours.” Twilight stated dramatically. Trixie processed the options for a brief second and then immediately backed out and ran out of the cavern and out of The Cemetery. She reached the spotted the first bonfire, and instead of letting Twilight interrupt the user experience yet again, she clicked the button that allowed her to read the developers note on the ground in front of it: Rest at bonfire: Restore HP and Estus supply “Ok so what is Estus? And yes Twilight you can answer.” Trixie clarified. “Your healing item.” Twilight stated quickly almost as she’d been holding her breath. “Oh. So you mean all that crap you made me waste fighting a lizard.” Trixie gave Twilight a pointed look before lighting the fire. She exited the menu and her player stood up. “Move forward there will be a gate, a statue, and a door you need to open in order to proceed.” Twilight directed. “Sounds simple enough.” Trixie pushed forward the occasional monster left dead in her wake. “You’re not half bad.” Twilight quipped as Trixie walked into a large circular area with a large tree to one side and a statue of a warrior at its heart. Trixie proceeded to the door on the other side of the vaguely arena-like area. It gave her no prompt to open it. She moved back passing by the statue in the process, it gave her a prompt: Remove Sword Twilight’s giddy look only increased as Trixie chose to comply with the prompt and remove the sword. For a moment all was still as Trixie waited for something to happen. Then with great effort the statue came to life and ripped the halberd at its side from the ground. That shot shards of rock flying from the ground and knocked over Trixie’s character while she was still in awe at what lay before her. “Attack it!” Twilight shouted. Trixie snapped out of her confusion and rolled back to a safe distance and launched a heavy soul arrow at the beast. It hit and took a chunk of health but made little difference overall. Having seen what her magic could due Trixie charged in a made several faint slashes at the behemoth’s legs. She once again feigned back and charged a spell. “Seems like wash,rinse,repeat with this guy.” Trixie said simply. Several moments the beast hit half health and it froze. Trixie took advantage of the moment and ran in slashing at his legs. Trixie let out a triumphant howl as she landed hit after hit sending her foe’s health plummeting. Only seconds did her enemy falter before a black substance rose from his back and turned solid on top of him and turned into a dragon? “What the FUCK is that?!” Trixie shouted. “Ya’ know I’m on new game plus three and still can’t make heads or tails of that gunk. It possesses dragons late game but it’s really weak to fire. Hilariously so.” Twilight chuckled as she recalled the first time she’d thrown a fire bomb that stuff. “Ok so I guess I’ll just repeat the same strategy as befo-” She never got a chance to see if that would work, as her player was instantly smashed by a giant branch-like hand. “Well shit. That was not my plan.” “Welcome to Dark Souls. An unforgiving and harsh landscape where only the strongest survive.” Twilight dramatised. “Anyhow with your welcoming done, I actually need to get something done in-game real quick.” “I didn’t even kill it and you’re gonna take control.” Trixie crossed her arms. “One more shot.” She finished as she moved back toward the boss arena. “Sure.” Twilight said as Trixie’s avatar stepped into the arena for the second time. “So what’s different is kno-” She then remembered what she’d been told and quickly stopped talking. Twilight watched in awe as Trixie slashed the boss’ health bar in what she considered to be record time. The boss’ transformation weant smoothly and after it finished it proceeded to vault across the field. The boss thrashed around seemingly aimless as Trixie stayed safe at the back launching spells. After a while she couldn’t use her magic anymore “What’s going on here?!” Trixie started to panic equipping her mail breaker and running in close for melee. “Well since you’re gonna kill it anyways I’ll tell while your hack slashing at the boss. You have the life estus, or you know the little orange bottles you’re chugging away at. Well if you hit down on your d-pad it switches what you have equipped to a blue version of the same flask. It refills the blue bar that keeps the magic flowing.” Twilight droned in a voice recognized as impression of some tutorial. “That would’ve been nice to know earlier!” Trixie said starting to get frustrated. This subsided quickly as the boss fell to the ground. The reward of a coiled sword was bestowed upon Trixie and a message reading ember restored. “Wooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! And what is an ember?” Trixie shouted happily with only mild confusion showing in the latter half of her exclamation. “It extends your available health, stamina, and magic. It stays that way until you die.” Twilight explained simply. “Neat.” Trixie began to exit the arena but Twilight stopped her. “Every boss drops a bonfire and remember I get to play now.” Twilight smirked as Trixie grudgingly handed over the controller. She proceeded to log Trixie out and waded through handful of menus to get back to the load game option on the title screen. “Ok Sunset Satin let’s get this done.” A set of loading screens greeted this statement and after few moments Twilight was dropped into the world of the game. She was in large cathedral hall with vaulted ceilings and paths that lined the upper portion of the room. Twilight began moving forward and the small archway opened to reveal a beautiful sky pale with the moon’s colour. The air looked cold and the ground seemed to be coated in ice and snow. The beauty presented to Trixie on screen captivated her and she nearly lost herself in the false snow. Twilight saw how Trixie reacted and jerked the camera to get her attention. “Mesmerising, isn’t it. Welcome to Irithyll, of The Boreal Valley. A beautiful capital twisted and distorted by the Pontiff’s power.” “It’s almost like it’s real.” Trixie shook herself out of a daze and regained her composure.” So two questions.” “Shoot.” Twilight replied pushing her character onward through the cold air. “So what are you about to do?” Trixie inquired. “A marriage ritual with an NPC to prove my worthiness as lord of hollows.” Twilight spouted cheerily. “Ok so now I have even more questions. But I assume those will be answered later.” Twilight nodded in assurance. “So next question, what’s with the name of your avatar?” “Uh… I uhh... I’d rather not answer that.” Twilight shifted uncomfortably. Trixie made a mental to look into that further when she had more information. Meanwhile Twilight’s character ran past giant metal soldiers holding weapons the likes of which made Trixie vow never to see what kind of damage they inflicted. Eventually Twilight stumbled into a large room filled with oversized statues of knights of a long forgotten order. “Welcome to The Darkmoon Tomb. This is where the most honoured of The Darkmoon Knights were laid to rest.” Trixie sighed. “But they’re history would bore you so check this shit out!” Twilight moved to the wall on the right of the circular room. She charged an attack and slashed at the statue. It disappeared leaving a gaping archway with a hallway of even more statues. “Ok. So that was pretty cool.” Trixie agreed. Twilight moved forward and interacted with an odd looking NPC. Trixie knew Twilight wanted to hear the dialogue but her questions remained. “What is that thing?” Trixie whispered. “Pilgrim.” Twilight responded. “Time?” “Eight twenty we have forty minutes till the show starts.” Trixie said reassuringly. “The key word is starts.” Twilight said starting to worry they’d be late. “I’m a magician we’re never late.” Trixie smirked. Twilight reached the end of the hall and panned the camera down slightly as to see the flower petals and light cloth that covered the ground. The moonlight filtered in through a massive stain glass window at the back of the tomb. The mood was destroyed as the front door was kicked open. There was a loud shout as heavy footsteps hit the tile in the front room. “Well Howdy there Twi and uhh... Trixie right.” Applejack stated as Trixie nodded in approval. Twilight and Trixie turned to face Applejack. She was holding Rarity bridle style. Rarity kicked a leg out and waved to Twilight and Trixie. “Evening darlings.” Twilight set the the controller down and in the process bumped the action button initiating a cut scene. “What has you two in such a good mood?” Twilight asked. Applejack started to answer but Rarity took it upon herself to make it a statement. “Applejack love if you would please set me down. I’d like to say this if you wouldn’t mind. Would you?” “Ah’ gu-” Applejack started but was cut off abruptly. Sounds of sword cutting through flesh startled everyone in the room. Twilight turned to face the TV. “Damn. Looks like I missed my character’s wedding. I’ll look up the cutscene later.” Twilight sighed heavily. “Continue please.” “Ok, anyways.” Rarity inhaled deeply and shouted “APPLEJACK PROPOSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”