> A World Without.. > by ServingSpoon > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > The Darkness "Wait isn't that also a movie!?":pinkiegasp: > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Expendables.." no that's not the name of a really cheesy action movie.. I like cheese! Is that weird for a pony? Should I have a Law and Order style time and date stamp above? Naaah I'm sure the reader can track the flow of time on their own. I mean what pony can't sense the passing of time? Oh we're off to a great start! Focus.. Have to focus! I may need medication, but since science and medical advances in Equestria are indeterminate and the writers never DIRECTLY dealt with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia or mental illness or emotional disorders in general I don't even think there are anti-psychotics and whatnot in Equestria. At least not in Ponyville.. Focus.. where was I-OH YEAH thanks allot! Expendables, it's what I call them, those outside the circle of friends and family I call my sisters. Them that I love but nopony else seems to really care about accept as foils and plot devices. The voices call them "background ponies".. I don't like that word.. They call Applejack that! That's mean to refer to a full grown mare supporting her younger sister and elderly grandmother with only the help of her older brother, but 100 jillion times worse referring to a filly as such! Of course those are the nice names compared to other names used to slander them that I can't repeat in an "everyone" story.. I may need to upgrade this to "teen" at least. Focus.. I see them walking out of the class room, smiling, their coats shining as brightly as their faces. Three young lives, full of potential, each with a mother and a father who love them but not many close friends or wide fan base.. other then me that is. The pink one, so like myself in color scheme, from her sparkling blue eyes to her pretty pretty pony princess pink coat, could not be more different on the inside. Her nose slightly in the air, she was born to privilege and told from birth she was better then everypony else! She has crushed other young lives in her bid for power, wearing that silly piece of costume jewelry to make her self feel important, only to come to realize when she lost her best friend what really matters and what she wants from her life. The voices, once having told me to stake her down by her legs with rusty railroad spikes and slowly skin her cutie marks off and disembowel her alive to make Cupcakes of all things, now blame her mother when I look at the filly. They wanted Apple Bloom to watch to. They were very specific about this.. or was it Scootaloo? Oh well.. Her faithful compatriot, hiding the violet windows to her soul behind those prippy preppy cats eye frames, sometimes seems as cold and indifferent as her grey coat and silver Prench braided mane, the colors of an impending winter storm, bringing a blight upon the land. She is so much more then the silly filly shallow shadow she pretends to be with those granny's pearls and the equally high snoot she points in the air to snub her peers. I see her smile, and she makes me want to smile to. Her ashy snooty patootie demeanor hides a loyalty that Dashie wishes she freaking had as an element bearer and generous spirit that even Rarity would have to stand up and take notice of. I see in her a kindred spirit, one who just wants to make her friends smile even when she is feeling down herself, even at the cost of her own popularity and dignity. The voices, once told me to do something similar, skin her alive from head to hoof and give her marks to somepony who deserves them more, or at least somepony the voices like better.. At least they didn't ask me to poor salt into her wounds, but her demise would have been just as gruesome if not slightly more merciful if they had their way with my mind. But now when I look at her, now they have fallen silent. They are opinionless, indifferent, mirroring the Windigo like coldness she herself showed the three fillies that bask in the spotlight as sisters to the Elements of Harmony. The voices, I don't know which is worse, their scorn or their silence. It's not easy loving them. It's far easier in fact for the voices to write them out, to say their existence doesn't matter, even after one has made a conscious effort to change and the other, sadly only redeemed by proxy to her superior. I have to change that. I have to prove to them they do matter. I have to prove to these two fillies that they have an inner strength and heart that nopony believed they had. That the future can be bright as those smiles we haven't seen but once in Luna's blue moon. I don't understand. Why would becoming a better pony threaten to nullify your existence? Something about heros needing villains they tell me. But these fillies aren't villains and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are not exactly angels even by comparison. And then there's the one that has welcomed the two former antagonist into the shadows of obscurity. Seemingly content for the past two years or so to stand in the background and smile silently in the hopes that she will lift somepony's spirits just by smiling and handing them a homemade treat made with all her boundless love and an almost unwavering enthusiasm. She welcomes the company of the former bully and her so called pewter partner in crime. The voices do not praise her efforts, some rage against her more then they do for the Pompus pink princess. It breaks my heart that somepony so lovable is so hated and I ask why!? The voices do not answer clearly. They have their reasons, they say. Some I understand, like they find her annoying or hard to understand because of her lisp, or they write her off as the "token nerd" ever since Apple Bloom just stopped talking to her one day. I make a note to talk to Bloom.. very serious cereal style talking to so that what happened to Moondancer does not happen to this innocent curly red headed candy creamy goodness coated filly. Then there are the reasons I never fully understood. "We know nothing about her. We haven't seen her since season 1" . What do they mean? She has always been here. You just had to look you silly nilly willy filly! I've made candy with her, I threw for her 3 parties, one cutcinera and celebrated two birthdays with her since Bloom and her had their falling out. Her mother is a mail mare and her father is a dentist, Ironic since she herself is a candy maker and a darn good one! How could anypony not know her? I mean sure Silver Spoon is an enigma and keeps to herself mostly, accept when out with her richer more extroverted and antisocial best friend. #But the candy mare can cause she mixes it with love and makes the world taste gooood!# Everypony should know her name, just like they do mine, and yet they forget she exists! "she has no VA" what the hay is a V-A? "a voice actress. She moved away and Hasbro never saw fit to replace her." I am more confused now hearing the answer then ever. I nolonger ask the voices anything. Clearly they have nothing nice to say for Peppermint Twist. They can't even get her name right. I mean Twist-a-loo, SERIOUSLY!? Sometimes I think I'm going insane, that the voices in my head are only that, voices, and the things they say are pure nonsense. But sometimes they pan out the things they say and warn me about. Like the feeling I got today while contemplating this very deep, and moody stuff that is for me very much out of character i might add. Should I put "Alternate Universe" in the tags? I haven't felt that way in a long time. That Pinkie sense that I can not even narrow down as to what parts of my body that I feel it in. Just a coldness in my chest, and ice like tears that fall for no reason. A sense of dread that i have not felt since I was a foal and granny Pie told me to laugh to make my fears disappear. I call it only "The Darkness" cause you can laugh at the dark and make it not seem so scary. Granny Pie taught me that. My sisters and I were really low on the day of the rainboom. Life on a rock farm does not always grow smiles. Come to think of it nothing grows on a rock farm. I suddenly got the feeling that somepony I love was going to die. I was convinced my 3 sisters were indanger, but they did not listen. I threw a party for my family after i got the inspiration from the burst of bright colors and the echo of thunder that washed over the land. Death was for funerals, like when my grandmother died, and I setout to dedicate my life to being the antitheses to a funeral director! It worked. My sisters never smiled so big. Even my father and mother's faces nearly cracked from the smile on their muzzle's. I guess they forgot how to smile. We chased the darkness away from my sisters just like Granny Pie said! All but one. Maud Pie never showed up. The voices told me it was because she didn't exist yet, which was pure HORSE APPLES because Maud was the oldest of the four of us! Other voices told me I failed to save her and that I served no purpose accept to harvest rocks, and really WHO HARVEST'S ROCKS I MEAN SERIOUSLY! Maud was out in field studying for her report on geology, her favorite subject in High School science class. I could tell Maud too had been uplifted. I could always tell when Maud was happy or sad. OH and I got my cutie mark that day but you know that already. I ran up stairs to tell Granny Pie the good news, to thank her for encouraging me. She told me to keep smiling and the whole world would smile with me.. and then she went to sleep. I watched the darkness take her, heard the voices laughing AT me, not with me. So I laughed even through my tears. I kept laughing even though my father told me to stop, and slapped me across the face. The voices told me to hurt him back. I just laughed louder, until I guess I fainted. But the next day I left home, for a new special school. The coach mares in white coats gave me my own coat so I guess it was winter. I sure felt cold. The school was really big and I had a ball bouncing around in the back of the padded carriage. I learned allot about comedy and the voices finally went away. When it was time to leave I knew I wasn't a filly anymore but that didn't mean I had to grow up. I had to find my place in the world and prove the voices wrong! I haven't stopped laughing ever since! Every time I feel the darkness creep on me I laugh in it's face! I let the darkness take my grandmother, I wasn't going to let that darkness consume my young friends. Their lives matter just as much or MORE then mine does! I suddenly realize I've been staring at the doorway to the schoolhouse for far too long. The fillies have long since departed, laughing and talking about the sleepover they had planned for the three of them. Ms Cheerilee walks out on the stoop and stretches her forelegs, I hear a crick in her back, and then I realize I'm caught as her emerald eyes spot me staring from the fence and I suddenly realize my tongue is lolling out and drooling while my mind kinna wandered. She looks at me incredulously and smiles, it's forced, I can always tell, "Pinkie dear, what brings you to the school house?" there is unease in her voice. Does she think I'm one of the bad touchie ponies she tells the foals to run away from and come find her or another adult they know? I hear music in my head. The voices are teasing me, making it hard to focus! "Is.. it one of my little pony's birthdays?" she asks me with a curious tilt of her head, it seems reasonable enough an excuse, I think about answering but that would be a lie, and lies are bad, AJ would be disappointed in me, as would Granny Pie.. er Smith.. did I say Pie? I meant Smith.. Granny Pie is dead.. the darkness took her from me because she was too weak to laugh at it and I was too stupid to laugh in time to save her! "Pinkie?" her voice is growing heavier with trepidation, She clops her hooves twice in my face to snap me out of my reverie. "W-what did you do to your mane, dear?" she looks unnerved and I don't know why. I smile slightly while running a hoof through my long strands of pink horse hair I call a mane. And then I feel it, the darkness closing in, that cold dead feeling clutching at my heart and I start to laugh weakly and cry tears of ice cold. the voices tell me "it's time to write them out" I know they mean to kill off one of the three. Ms Cheerilee doesn't ask me anymore questions and closes the door slowly. I wanted to talk to her about the fillies, maybe she can help I thought. A teacher would want to protect her two best students and Diamond Tiara who deserves just as much love as anypony else AND I HATE HER FATHER SOMETIMES WHO JUST DOESN'T GET IT THAT SHE NEEDS HIS LOVE AS MUCH AS FOOD, CLOTHING AND AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT! I could have had an ally but I scared her and she couldn't laugh at me because I was already laughing at her! I could call on those voices to help with their mysterious powers and maybe pop out of her "Best Taecher" award mug, and yes it was misspelled by Snips and Snails and looks like a 3 year old made it but I have work to do to save one of those precious fillies that destiny has deemed unnecessary as good little ponies more so then they were relevant as bullies and the friend to a family member of an element of harmony. I spit in disgust and realize the sequence of my hoof writing might be confusing to some readers and earn me a few down votes. Well buck them! I turn on my rear hooves and trot away from the schoolhouse to plan my devious scheme against darkness and the voices that seemed to be it's advocate. I pick up a rock and examine it. Just the right size to give an Earth Stallion a nasty wasty bumpity bump on his thick headed coconut! I think about putting it in a sock and paying a certain RICH stallion a visit at the office. Which is funny cause I don't wear socks cause I don't want bronies staring at my bum bum and it's not that kinna fic. "meh, maybe later." I drop the rock, even if he could use some good parenting sense knocked upside his head like Jethro Gibbs slaps Tony but I have work to do and suddenly I feel bouncy again as the darkness is left on the path back at the gate way to the school house and my hooves spring me up and down like a little bunny or a kanagaroo or maybe a bunnyroo amalgamation of the two! Yes the voices blame the mother, but I blame the father. That reminds me, I should send a letter to my own dear old dad for Father's Day, do we even have a father's day, and thank him for the special private school he sent me to. Dress code was funny, not hah hah hah funny either, though allot of the ponies wearing the coats did laugh allot. Odd, I find it easier to laugh out of the coats as warm and fuzzy as they were they left me no room to bounce. Too bad I had to bring up dad, that "I blame the father" line would have been a creepy and entertaining line to leave with. Oh well, at least my laughs are coming out more freely now with each bouncy step. I wave at Dashie on a cloud, because she would never forgive me if i did not mention her at least twice with her ego and all, sometimes she makes me so mad, like that time she ditched me for Gilda, maybe she could use a rocking in her stocking to! Oh yeah, Hearth's Warming was last week.. and I'm due to spend time with our new cast member, Starlight Glimmer. Gonna have to blow her off for the children. I count that little skit as the Spirit of Hearth's Warming Presents as time well spent anyway! Bah humbug! he he he that's a funny word!