> Wandering Wood > by Zeromant > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Lunacy of Exodus > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1: Lunacy of Exodus I've a Story to share with you, if you would have it. One flawed, lacking in truth, and littered with embellishments, but a story none the less, and I would share it still, if you have the ear to mind me still. It's been an age and then some since I was last able to converse with another, so pray, stay a while, and listen. My tale starts many, many moons ago, grander, more refined measurements lost to me in my travels. It starts not here, in our mutual home of Equestria, but in another realm of stone and steel and vice. A place home to an entire race of beings you would think mythical. I speak of Earth, home realm of the Human race. My home. Yes, I once stood with them as a member of their species, and even then I was prideful and vindictive. Even as a human I was bound by a web of their society, and... well I could wax and wane poetic on the matter, but it would be pointless for your ears, wouldn't it dear listener? I digress. I was once Human, and In that world is where our tale starts. _______________________________________=______________________________________ I was a young man of a land called Texas, I lived for 24 winters, and had built the start of a life up. I was employed, I had family, friends, plans. Aside from the fact that I was 'Blessed' with a number peculiar traits that many humans lack, or simply aren't aware of, I eked out a fairly normal, and unremarkable life. Do not let this admission of a humble start fool you though. Within, kept hidden behind my social masks I'd constructed throughout my life, I was just as flawed and grandiose a person as I am now. There, in my home world, I had reason to hide it away is all. I was just above average in most regards to many humans, and lived my life accordingly. I had things I liked, and disliked, shows and series and games. One series, I was loosely amused by, a young children's show titled My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The Quality of the show was commendable given the competition, however I was not innately drawn to it as many were. No I joined my interest to it's fanbase. I was a Fan of the Fans. I'd watch the shows to know what they built on, I made casual observations and then read and watched as they took this one world presented to them, and made a hundred thousand variations of it and it's people. Such is a marvelous sight when looked at in a certain way admittedly. Yes, I see the recognition in your eyes now, I speak of this world. We know of it, though only a shadow of it's truth, or this truth as far as I'm concerned, but again, I find myself rambling. The tale begins right and proper with myself laying on my bed, communing with my friends through my computer, ( a sort of scrying device of sorts, but not.) a half dozen messenger windows littering my screen as I typed back and forth between them all, pausing only to read a few scant lines before the replies started up again. Essentially my typical evening. What set it apart from my other evenings, aside from the obvious, would be when a 13th window sprung up in the middle of my typing. Someone I didn't know had invited me to a conference of sorts. Bored at the moment, and not really giving a damn, I accepted the invite, and found myself in a chat with two others. Bee: Hey! He accepted! Now we can have some fun! Hornet: Now now dear, you know we need to 'ask' him... her... it?... first. manners and all that jazz. Bee: oh right hahaha, silly me! Hello Tiberius! You having fun? At this casual use of my name I hesitated, instantly torn between a number of emotions, rage, indignation, a peppering of fear, pride... curiosity. This last would be my binding flaw that evening, for it, above all others spurred my hands to type my reply. Falazure: I am both bored loony, and alarmed that you two are familiar with my name. Have you two been stalking me for some reason? >.> Do i need to get my bat out? hammer some nails in it? Hornet: HA! No no, no need for that Tibbs, we're here for some simple good old fashioned fun tonight. Bee: as for how we know you? that's easy! We're that awesome! Falazure: Sure, and I can karate kick the moon into Mars. Hornet: in this realm of text and imagination? Go for it! Nothing stopping you here hehe. Bee: but I like the moon *sniff* Hornet: Oh allright, I won't let him kick our moon. But we can't leave the poor guy bored! Bee: well he's allready crazy, duh, so not like him getting any crazier is gonna hurt! Falazure: Uh, I 'm not crazy, just tired, a good deal pissed off you two know who I am, and bored otherwise. >.< Hornet: Nope! You're crazy brudda! Trust us, we wouldn't have let you find us if you weren't. Falazure: ... Falazure: "let me find you" .... you say that as if I was the one searching Bee: well yeah... you were, bored out of your mind, of course you'd look for something fun! and what's more fun than being crazy! Falazure: I dunno... games? Music? ... sex? Bee: OOH! Games! Let's play a game! then you'll see you're crazy and you won't be bored either! Hornet: Oh! I like this one! You wanna play Tibbs? Falazure: Don't call me Tibbs, and will I have to download anything? Bee: Not a single thing! Nope! Hornet: naw, it's all gonna be in yer head buddy hehe I sat there, having repositioned myself to view this inane little conversation with the strangers more seriously. I mean, who in there right mind would learn my name only to invite me to a chat, call me crazy, and then ask to play a game? Probably some psycho murderers. At least, that's the thought that crossed my mind just then, Killer being not nearly as rare back home as they are here in your land of ponies and the like. Bee: naw, we'd never murder you Tibby, just maim and maul, then poof you back together again heh. I could fell my heart rate spike and my anxiety skyrocket, but still my curiosity, fed continuously by the whole conversation, was still greater, edging me on. What else was I to do? this was a unique chance for an interesting interaction. One nearly completely under my control, I hoped. Falazure: Sure, why not... how do we play? Hornet: pfft, we? lol that's funny man, you'll be playing, we're just gonna sit back and watch as things unfold. You just stick around long enough and eventually you'll win eh big guy? Falazure: wait, what? How can I play if I don't know the rules? or I'm by myself? Bee: you just gotta wing it Tibby! Well, take care, and have fun! Put on a good show, yes? Falazure: You two are loco, that's for sure, I'm gonna just head to bed with my rifle now, hope to shoot you soon I did exactly that, the conversation having unnerved me a decent amount. Something not easily done, but then again, I regularly slept with weapons in my bed. Don't ask why, I won't tell. What I didn't know however, as I rolled over was the last message that had been sent, my only warning and I didn't even get it as I let slumber claim me. Hornet: Sleep Well Bee: Rest Easy Hornet: And Dream Crazy Bee: level 1 start! _______________________________________=______________________________________ I found myself waking to the vastness of an obsidian void. Blinking my eyes I questioned why I couldn't feel my body, All sensation dead other than a numb weight attached to my vision. The darkness of the void seemed to ripple and sift restlessly with some primal hunger, and then it hit me. I was inside my own mind. The sudden realization and recognition of my own mind scape came with all the perks of having a projected body inside that realm of thought. I could feel and move as if I was never helpless before. I had several times practiced meditation, putting forth the image of this chamber as my mind. A body to represent the Ego, the primal seething darkness to embody the Id, an ideal guardian against stray thoughts, and 'trespassers' I always thought. Protecting me from the Id was a single sourceless spotlight, my super ego. With a whim and a practiced hand motion the spot light expanded, pushing back the darkness of my surging mind, providing more clarity to think within. It was a simple imagery, and as such was difficult to screw up. I made the first mistake of thinking it nothing but a lucid dream though. I lit a row of spotlights within the darkness, illuminating a pathway of reason and logic through raw emotion and reaction towards a mental construct. A filing cabinet. Out dated by my world's standards, but simple. It was a favorite of mine for representing my memories. Easy to get into and easy enough to go through when I wanted to remember something in a more... accurate recollection, as apposed to typical remembering. Not perfect, and even if I get what I want, I often times can't remember it when I snap back to consciousness, something which is a real bummer, as I'm sure you can guess at the implications had it worked flawlessly. I Began to sort through the number of files over the last week, recalling chores and small promises I needed to fulfill by the end of the weekend, trying to get them to stick for when I woke up. I owed Jeremy a new copy of a game since I lost his, I needed to paint my uncles house, needed to get more cat food, the works. Small things, simple things to get me smiling and my mind off those nut jobs I left behind on the computer. Without warning, or any build up what so ever, a brown, and a yellow spot light lit up inside my mind, clearing a pair of Id free spots without my permission. I was immediately wary, and the depths of the darkness around their lights and mine shimmered with a violent and thirsty anticipation in response. I didn't have to wait long as the forms these two 'invaders' chose to reveal themselves. The yellow light was quickly hosted by a purple heart shaped mask with two rows of spines along it's jawline, and two wide, staring eyes carved onto it's lobes. The Second form, descending into the brown light was a human head wearing a bloodied and broken clown mask, the man's hair having been replaced with flames and hate. These two had chosen their avatars well, as I later came to realize just what they were embodying. The mask and the clown head, both being icons from my world, each gave their respective laughs at me as I willed the spotlights away, intending to leave them exposed to the depths of my Id. My action did not fair as I had hope however, though my spotlight was reduced to just large enough to encircle myself, theirs did not diminish in the slightest. This, as had many things that evening, irritated me. I'm not an easy man to anger save for less than a handful of conditions. This... Intrusion, upon my mind, even if it was only a dream sequence as I kept telling myself, would easily fall under my top three things that would raise me to wrathful levels the swiftest. With out hesitation, and flicker of imagination, the inky darkness lit up with a singular pair of vivid eyes as it coalesced into a singular defined form, a muzzle filled with teeth, legs ending in heavy clawed feet, millions of fine, pliable barbs coating it's surface, and soon, standing over me was my Id, embodied tonight as a massive, umbral, dire wolf, and we were pissed. Many aren't aware of what makes the something with such an unassuming name so terrifying. People have long called the mind the summary of two halves to make a whole. The super Ego, our first half, governs us with reason, logic, understanding, long term thinking. It's the part that cautions us, and warns us to not act in haste. The Ego is the whole, the summary of the two halves that decide, and act upon, the input from both Super Ego and Id. The Id, is the counter to the Super ego however, it is emotion and instinct. Fight or Flight. Hate rage greed & envy. For this it is shunned and feared, many not remembering that it is also Love, compassion, mercy, passion, joy and Humor. However right then? We were all rage, and justly so. I didn't bother to warn them away, or to try and commune to the intruders with words, as I was still acting as though it were a dream. In retrospect, it wouldn't have mattered ultimately, but still I feel the fool for giving that one willful thought so carelessly. " Devour Them." My id surged forth, liquid muscle, my fury given form and girth as it bounded through the less imposing but still vast darkness between us towards my invaders, and for a slight moment, I thought it would end that swiftly. However as I thought it still a dream, I wasn't surprised when my assailants returned my aggression, though their methods were unexpected, if only for how... mundane they were by comparison. The Clown head had grown a body of steel and gears seemingly fashioned from an ice cream truck, and punched the face of my Id's wolf form, the shock of the new form enough for me/It to lose form and sink into an inky puddle at their feet. The Mask had grown arms and legs that ended in lengthy whip like coils, flawlessly resembling the creature it was inspired by, and lashed out at me, a lengthy rope crossing the distance of my mind towards my projected form only to strike stone. A battle of the minds is a contest of imagination, and reaction. A careful balance of reaction, logic and creativity. I saw a whip coming towards my face, and so the ground itself rose up beneath me, stones forming and piling higher till I stood atop a steep hill, a ragged stone throne behind me as I looked down on the invaders. The darkness of the void gave way to muddy and soaked plains as clouds formed, and a stormy sky came into being above the three of us. They had chosen to arm themselves and act directly, then It would only be fair for me to do likewise. I raised my arms out ahead of me, my hands dangling at the ends limply as my Id sank into the soil, it's liquid form going to better use as I splayed my fingers and lifted my arms before waving them at the two in unison. The Soil between I and They churned as hundreds of limbs, fleshless and bleached white, surged forward, hooked digits clawing out to snare them and hold them to ground even as the rest of my skeletal army rose up in the wake of the lashing limbs. They responded as I expected, the Mask lashing out with it's limbs, sweeping through my mental forces in great swathes, as the Clown simply threw itself into the fight, kicking, punching and brawling through them. The skeletons were not meant to last, only to tide them over as my Id surged back to form, a great black lion leaping from behind my hill, claws spread wide with a mighty roar as it fell towards the two. I was sure I had them as their backs were turned. Instead my satisfaction was cut short as my Id was once more cut down, this time split down the middle, it's form scattering to the void the field had suddenly returned too. "How fun he is! Creative and willful!" The Mask creature seemed to shake in it's entirety as it let loose a rattling laugh. " We'll have to give him a figure he can make the most of we will, yes yes yes." The Clown replied to it's companion, turning slightly to face it. " Ooh! how about one of those woody things? I can't think anything else that would really work for him." I never heard their voices before, but I instantly recognized them as Bee and Lost from the chat room before I slept. Either my dreams were alarmingly detailed that night, or, as I was starting to realize, they were well and truly in my mind. Something I did not take too kindly too. Without even a motion from me, the massive claw of a simply titanic dragon descended upon them, My Id, my rage, having leapt to a much more viable force. I grinned, having finally ejected them from my mind. " Well how about... these adjustments to the base critter? wouldn't do for our toy to be stuck to one are now would it?" My heart sank as the voices continued on, exchanging thoughts on something I couldn't follow. I was livid, my pride and privacy trounced by these two. My Id's colossal form simply faded away to reveal the two unfazed by my latest effort. In a silent blink my figure was clad in gold and sapphire armor as I approached them. I angled my left hand out and gripped at open air, a bulwark of a plated shield appearing there on my arm even as I straightened my right hand, my arm extending and narrowing into a mighty lance as I neared them, a single thrust and I would strike them directly, Mind against Mind. That single instant I acted upon my choice, the world shattered, black expanse giving way to dull white eternity, ground now relative to my perspective, the sky no longer defined. My Lance shattered, white golden shards sizzling away into a shower of sparks and confetti as they went. The Mask, now worn by a lady looked at me, through me, too me. I'm not sure... She looked, and my shell was stripped from me. My armor and shield did as my lance, scattered to figments of minds now obviously greater than my own. I was trapped, frozen in motion in this realm not of my own as the two now both looked at me. The Clown, Lost, raised a single hand and snapped his, it's fingers. Sprouting from a layer of emptiness that served as our 'ground', a variety of tree's began to grow, aging rapidly to maturity around us, even as the masked one, Bee, lifted her arms up, blots of inky darkness gathering into a pool above her. My Id, I recognized, was summoned by some other person. Some other being. I actually felt fear at this, for while I was confident in my willpower and strength of mind, this was something else... these acts were fundamentally beyond me, and I knew it. " So... What now? You crack open my mind for your winnings? Take my memories and sense of self?" I asked, doing my best to keep my voice level, as calm or spiteful was simply out of the question at this point, my growing fear making sure of that. Lost held a hand to his stomach as a simple short lived laugh escaped his lips behind the clown mask. " No no no, The game has yet to begin! We simply needed to get through character selection! I'm letting Bee handle the customization, not like we can really change it once we start the game, you know how RPG's work and all that." Honestly? Rpg's? Those dicks were still going on as if this was still a game after having bested me in the one field I never though I'd be fighting on, yet was confidant in. The indignation and pain for my struck pride boiled over my fear for a moment as I rolled my eyes at him and snorted. " You're an ass, you know that?" " We know. It's more fun this way!" They answered in unison, their voices resonant and indistinguishable in that one reply. My brain came to a screeching halt as the spark of realization began to flicker in the back of my consciousness. I was slowly regaining thought speed, but it was all focused on rifling through every bit of mythos and legend based lore, applying details and facts to the events and the two before me. Bee on the other hand was finished with her work it seemed, and wasn't keen on leaving me to my thoughts as she turned her masked visage to face me. My Id, still coalesced above her opened a pair of luminescent emerald eyes and stared at me. " Party time party time! Have fun Tibby!" She bent back and then 'threw' my Id at me, the blot of pitch black emotion and instinct unfurling into a ragged semblance of a wolf as it rocketed through the air like a missile, tackling my frozen form, the two of us careening down the path of tree's Lost had made with but a thought and a motion. Things became... muddled. I do not know how long my Id and I fell like that, Through the air across the ground, into the sky even, I lack any certainty. I saw many things in fleeting glances as we fell. Game characters and book and movie characters all mingling, talking, fighting for sport. A dragon fighting a building in central park, a sentient Virus eating cupcakes at a party, a burly french huntsman fighting kung fu deer, or was it 'Tae Kwon Doe'? I'm not certain as my sanity may have left me at that point, or sometime before. At some point, I must've stopped falling because I remember running, the tree's whizzing by in a blur, the ground growing less devoid and more earthen beneath me, the endless white expanse breaking into mottled blue and white and grey. I think the last thing I saw before blacking out, was the all too well known meme face of the Troll. > Lucidity of Genisis > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 2: Lucidity of Genisis I awoke, for as cliche as it sounds, there really is no better word to describe suddenly acquiring consciousness of one's self, and surroundings from a state that distinctly lacks that same awareness. My initial thoughts lay somewhere along the all too vague lines of cursing and swearing oaths of repayment most foul to the two mad things in a vast multitude of languages, and intensity. Soon my internal monologuing tirade was brought short when the sound of rustling leaves and the sensation of wind across my body was felt. I stirred slowly, as I was apt to do. My mental processes taking inventory of sensory input and cross referencing with cold hard logic and odds even before I started to show any signs of outward life to whatever lay around me. I felt dirt beneath, I could hear the leaves rustling, and i felt the uneven mild wind across me. Conclusion? I was outside. Simple enough. Now comes the hard part, short term memory recollection. This part was always a pain, every morning I had to fight to even remember what I was doing before I passed out. I rarely had a morning were I was able to recall the the night before within the first two hours of my waking. Well, not without external stimuli to prod the memories to life that is. I slowly willed an eye to open, not yet ready to face whatever awaited me, but knowing I must face it soon if I was indeed not just outside in my yard. Sight sunk into my eye as I heard a wooden clack somewhere. I held my breath, keeping perfectly still as I swept my single optic over all it could see, taking in as much information as I could process. 'We're outside: Confirmed.' Great, so I'm outside, and going by the tree sizes, proximity, and sheer abundance it was clear this wasn't my front yard, or anywhere remotely close to my house. I berated myself as the two masked ones came to mind. I began to wonder if all of the night before was a simple hallucination brought on by drugs during a kidnapping, but ultimately dismissed it as I recalled too many of the details with clarity to allow that thought any validity. I groaned inwardly as I realized there was only so much thinking I could do, so long I could internalize everything before action of the body must be had. There really wasn't any reason to hold off at this point. I huffed once, feeling the air pass through my nostrils with a reedy noise as I slowly rolled onto my stomach, pulling my limbs under me, I stopped. My eyes were both open and I could see down the length of my face, binocular vision being a wonderful thing since it allowed me to see that I now had a muzzle. I mentally scowled wondering if it was just a mask they had put upon more for the grins of it. I berated myself for losing focus, and shuffled those thoughts away for later, right now I needed to get up, get my bearings. Everything was secondary at the moment. I breathed in slowly to steady my thoughts, or rather, I tried. I quickly realized that what ever means I had for air capacity was limited, and the movements in my torso felt... wrong. My thoughts at this realization once more begin to spiral out of control I leapt to my feet, or tried to, my forelimbs pushing me off the ground with relative ease onto my back legs, only for me to realize in that moment, much to late, that I was no longer a biped. As my hindquarters folded under my weight and I fell backwards, rolling across my back in an awkward tumble, right into a nearby tree. I lay there on my back as something not quite like, but close enough to, pain exploded through my head having hit itself in the fall. Swirls of color danced through my sight as I tried to blink away my pain and dizziness, that wooden clacking sounding with each blink. catching glimpses of my body through my dizziness and blinking I saw that i was indeed a creature of four legs now, recognizing the configuration of joints and such as i stared across my upturned belly. I only vaguely acknowledged that I was made of wood, thinking nothing of it though at the time. 'Charming, I'm a... well... not human... I never did like that form anyways... how bad can this one be?' I Winced at the last part even as it sounded in my cranium. I rolled to my feet again, and carefully making only the minimum effort as I did so. The sensations... they just felt so ... different. Not even the new orientation, my body itself felt... detached. Almost as if I was wearing a thick glove, only the sensation spread across my body. I only felt a few things give that familiar sensation of stretching and pulling like the muscles I'd lived with for almost twenty five years. I felt nothing else actually move... I was simply aware of my limbs locations and position, and yet I could feel the wind across my back, and the dirt beneath my feet....a quick curious glance down and back told me I had paws now... wooden paws, with ragged lumps of rock embedded in them as crude claws. 'Well... cats have claws that retract, so I'm not a cat... the wood motif is starting to bug me though... I look so... brittle.' I eyed the nearly rail thin sticks that made up the thinner parts of my legs, already doubting the durability of my new form. After all, if I was made of actual wood like it seemed, and not just really good natural camouflage, then just about any spark or flame would make easy work of me. A mental image already forming unbidden, but dismissed quickly with a shake of my head, a creaking of wood accompanying my movement, confirming my fears of the nature of my body. I sighed, or at least mimicked the motions of it, and looked around the clearing. I thought to get a better idea of my environment, even going so far as to pace around the rather miniscule clearing I found myself in. It was at least roughly 12 feet or so across, I thought to myself, but again doubt set in, as I knew nothing about my own size, and this being, possibly, a new world, I doubted the trustworthiness of the plant sizes around me. In the midst of my doubt I caught sight of the 'bushy' tail i had, and stopped to more thoroughly inspect it, my curiosity thankfully quenching the rising doubt. My tail was some sort of narrow dead bush, dried and brittle looking it's twigs and branches rattled with each movement. I noted that at several locations along the primary stalks that the wood of it was twisted and frayed, allowing my tail to actually flex and bend as i moved it. I could've grinned at the cleverness of it had I a mouth capable of it. I noticed also a series of vacant pits along the brush stems in my tail, and looked it over more thoroughly to try and figure out what they were, and found myself rewarded half way up my tail when i found what looked to be needle like thorns easily one or two inches, I think, in length. 'Hmm... maybe that's meant to deter other creatures from grabbing it...at least I seem to have something interesting other than being made of wood... why they picked this body I'll probably never know.' The inflection of my thoughts lead me to roll my eyes at myself, I mean, I always had a habit of talking to myself, but in this situation I think that small amount of lunacy is probably all that let me keep my sanity. I looked around the grove I was in, hoping to find one of two things. Either a pool of water I may have overlooked, or an obvious path out. Unfortunately, as was per my usual luck, neither presented themselves. internalizing a series of minor curses and complaints I picked a random direction and moved towards it, moving shakily on my feet as I continued to adjust to moving with four legs. It didn't seem all that hard actually after a few steps, the flow starting to become familiar, until my world exploded into a flurry of stars and swirling colors. I barely managed to recognize that it was my head that was experiencing this strange perception of pain as my body skid across the dirt back into the clearing from the edge. 'That... that was different... not quite a truck, but damn... ' I righted myself back to my feet, shaking my vision clear with that annoying rattle of dry wood, and looked back at where my vision decided to a wonderful impression of a rainbow paintball. The shrubbery looked as it had before my approach, and summary ejection there from. In all honesty I would have missed the obvious had it not given itself away that day. There, sitting on the edge of the clearing was a Fern, long stalk like stems with those narrow, slender leaves like one would expect, however at the end of one of it's stems was a roughly green disk that sat in the dirt, much like a growing fruit that was too heavy for it's branch. I narrowed my gaze on it, finding the sight peculiar. Why, I almost went right up to push it around with my paw had it not moved then. I nearly jumped in surprise as the fern lifted this weighted disk and coiled it's stem back around the disk, retracting into the core of the fern where I could see several other coils sitting in wait. 'Great, I'm not even out of bed and the shrubbery already wants to kill me. I know my luck is less than standard, but c'mon!' I sneered at the plant, eyeballing it, gauging the length of it's fronds before I carefully stalked my way towards it. Just outside the range I had judged it at, two of the coils lashed out at me, my reactive jerk backwards all that saved me then from a pair of swirling, multicolored headaches just then. I let a snarl actually escape from my mouth at the plant, the fern seemingly reacting as it swiftly coiled up the two fronds and lashed out with another four despite my not being within striking range. Honestly, why I didn't react with wild disbelief and wonder at the apparently active plant is something that bothers me to this day. In my world, the most reaction one could get out of a plant would be a particularly healthy fly trap with it's spring like snap jaws. This? This, thing that sat rooted in the ground before me was something out of my world's realms of fantasy, and I just sat there calling it names. After shaking my unsavory thoughts at the plant, I paced around the clearing noticing much to my chagrin that the whole area was surrounded by these ferns. I wanted to set fire to everything and be done with it. After all, how dare they, only mere plants, impede my efforts to move about as I wished! Oh I was so arrogant, still am, but even having been hurled around from one world to another and given a new body wasn't enough to crush my pride. A few minutes spent judging the gaps between the plants left me with only one conclusion. I would have to wade through them and hope for them to thin out after enduring their assault. ' This will not be a pleasant experience'. _______________________________________=______________________________________ I limped my way through the woods hours later, wincing with each step of my right foreleg. The ferns had a good deal more wallop to them than I had anticipated, and that coupled with the numerous tries I had to make left me worse for wear because of it. My shoulder was heavily cracked, the wood that made up it's form shattered and splintered, even now flakes and chips fell whenever I stumbled or stepped too hard. The rest of the forest, unlike the clearing grove place I had woken up in, was dark and noticeably devoid of direct sunlight. Something I very much did not like as a fact, though I took great pleasure in enjoying the ambiance. My home land was overly sunny, never did like that facet of it. However, now as I found myself surrounded by dense plant growth and who knows what else lurking within said plant life, the lack of direct sunlight was disturbing. 'This place is kinda nice... but I wouldn't want to live here... erg, hope it doesn't up being the case.' It took me several hours of directionless wandering before I began to feel as if I was making any progress. The forest seemed noticeably less... oppressive. This both concerned and relieved me, after all, why would a forest this think and intent on choking out the sun suddenly want to thin out? The reduction in general underbrush left the dirt exposed to my vision, and I took to gazing at it whenever looking into shadows grew boring. The dirt looked disturbed, pushed to the side and into piles every few steps. Some of the plants by the roots of some of the tree's bore torn stems, snapped twigs, leaves torn in half. Curiosity kept my gaze on these plants as I passed them, my thoughts torn between the unreality of what I was, where I was, and what I was seeing. 'I am a quadrupedal creature made of wood. This is a heavily dense forest with reactive plant life. There are signs of something either consuming or harvesting the lower plants. Charming. ' The sounds of the forest around me began to thin out, my attention to this detail was peculiar and yet I failed to notice the oddity of my sensitivity at the time. At some point I began to put the regularly torn brush and the regularly shuffled dirt together as two parts of some whole. It was making me think of footsteps and harvesting. ' So, someone is here in the woods, harvesting whatever these are. They drag their feet... huh... I'm on a path... when did that form?' I stopped in my tracks and looked closer at the dirt as I mulled that last line of thoughts over in my wooden noggin. When did I start thinking so clearly? I couldn't recall why, or how but since my awakening, my thoughts had been unusually clear. Devoid of the numerous ... distractions, I was used to dealing with. A shake of my head, wood grinding against wood as I moved forward again, following the shuffled dirt now, tracks meaning there was something to find. Well, something other than those damnable ferns. ' I'll have to find some way to make those things burn.' Hmm, in retrospect, I held some very violent thoughts, even then. It wouldn't be for another couple of hours of walking slowly, methodically, down this dirt path I had found before I finally found my destination. At least, I hoped it was my destination. It was a tree, thick and warped, stouter than any of the other nearby trees. From there at the edge of the clearing surrounding it, I could make out a door and several windows worked into the tree's very trunk, lit from within. My curiosity was most certainly piqued at this unnatural natural structure. After all, such things were practically non existent in my home realm. So what better course of action than to throw caution to the wind and explore! .... Really. My snout was to the handle sniffing at it instinctively in seconds. There was something on the handle that made me think 'person'. I pushed at the wooden barrier with my snout, but felt it resist my efforts. Stepping back, I gave it a rather indignant glare before raising myself up and shoving with my front paws, or was it kicking now? I wasn't sure, but even still the door did not budge and I found access to the location still denied to me by a simple door. ' Just dandy. I get a new form in some gods forsaken backwoods place and I don't have any damn thumbs... figures... No one ever remembers that thumbs are integral to being a good adventurer.' I snorted once and padded over to the window next to the door, peering in and catching a constrained view of the items inside. A cauldron sitting over a fire, and shelves lining the walls, stocked to the brim with plants and books, and other various items I couldn't begin to identify. ' Hmm.... wise old hermit? Nah, they wouldn't be that cliche, would they?' I perked a single eyebrow, or I think I did anyways, not sure if I even had them then. I doubted whoever lived here was actually present, as my wooden form slamming on the front door would've certainly gotten their attention by now. So, I resigned myself to waiting it out for them and simply curled up and lay myself under the window, muzzle on my paws. ... not too sure how long it was before I dozed off. _______________________________________=______________________________________ My first thoughts upon waking some time later centered around the fact that I had slept. Sort of. It's hard to explain so I'll tell you about that experience later in the story, but the second thing I thought of when I woke up, was the door to my right. It had been slammed shut, and even in my groggy state I could hear somebody working to block the door from the inside. That smell I had picked up off the door when I arrived hung heavy in the air, it's owner apparently having returned while I was asleep. Knowing allready that I wouldn't be getting the door open, I sat up and turned myself around to peer in the window. Inside staring quite intently back at me with no small amount of obvious fear was a four legged creature quite smaller than myself. I'd draw out the suspense and describe the person in detail, but I'm certain you knew as soon as I did then that I was looking at a Pony. Well, a Zebra, but same difference. ' A pygmy Zebra... with jewellery... if I didn't know any better, I'd swear that's Zecora.' " A creature such as you is a fearsome foe, but I'd much appreciate it if you just go!" The zebra inside spoke out at me, her voice clear, if somewhat shaken. Her gaze held fear, obviously, but if I knew anything about reading body language at all then, I'm certain her eyes also held curiosity for me. '..... shit.... it, she, spoke... and rhymed... there's no way that's not Zecora... unless I'm hallucinating that vividly again...' I tilted my head to one side, wood scraping on wood as I did so, gazing through her window at her through the sparse crossbars of the wood in the frame. I mulled the revelation over in my head for a few minutes, just staring intently at the zebra inside as she nervously moved about her hut, collecting a few things from shelves. She never took her eye off me though. ' Okay.... crazy god things.... sent me to another realm, new body... realm has Zecora... so this must be the Everfree forest of Equestria. Easy enough logic to follow I suppose... wooden body, four legs, bushy tail. I'm a Timberwolf.... I'm a... well shit... that's going to make things difficult.' I let out a whining noise from somewhere inside my chest as this newest revelation soured my climbing mood, and decided I wanted inside. So I moved away from the window and back to the door... and began scratching at it, digging light grooves into the hard wood with my claws. " Go away you strange and wooden brute! That door will make your efforts moot!" Something was hurled out the window I had been sitting in front of just shortly ago. What ever it was it shattered and spilled across the ground in the clearing. I simply ignored it for the time being and set back to digging at the door's wood. My stubborn efforts only served to prove Zecora's claim of the door's strength true. Even as I finally ceased pawing at it, her chuckle reached my ears driving just a smidgen of irritation into me. I would've cut a snarky remark back at her through her window as I moved back to it, but had to duck as another flask of something came sailing through it. I yelped lightly and let out a short growl before glowering at her through her window. ' Oi! I haven't done jack all to you lady! Eesh! I thought you ponies were supposed to be friendly.' I snorted loudly through my nostrils at her, an action that gave me the small satisfaction of her flinching back behind her cauldron again. 'Serves you right. Not like I've snarled or barked at you dammit. I'm just gonna lay down here until you stop being stupid.' I huffed at her and curled up to settle down again, ignoring the glaringly obvious fact that she couldn't hear me thinking loudly at her. I lay there mulling my thoughts over, trying to make absolutely certain I wasn't utterly bat shit crazy for the next long while. Inside I could hear Zecora slow set about collecting ingredients, the occasionally clinking of bottles, the ruffling of herbs and paper, as well as the scraping of the wooden stirring stick scraping against the cauldron giving her activity away. I figured somewhere in the midst of my thinking that she was probably trying to concoct something that would 'save' her from me. I let out a throaty growl of a chuckle at this thought. I suppose it was some time later that she came to the window, my sense of time wasn't ever too accurate. I heard her tap something wooden against the window's sill and felt something fall against my leg. It's strange honestly, feeling things through a wooden hide. I'm not sure if you know what a glove is, or how something feels through it, but that's the best way I have to describe what it was like. I snorted once, choosing to ignore it in favor of waiting out her fear of me. The first clue that something was up, was the strange numbness of my body receding from my leg, followed closely by an acrid rotten smell reaching my snout. The final nail in these clues was the searing sensation that, despite it's clear difference to pain, was near enough to have me bolt to my feet in an instant. My leg felt like it was on fire! The sensation was burning, seething, pins and needles racing up and down my back leg as I bounced around the clearing outside her hut on my three good legs. I yelped more than once as I threw myself to the ground and rolled across the dirt, bounced to my feet and threw myself back down again, a whine of pain echoing inside my fibrous torso. Whatever that witch had dumped on me, it burned like nothing other than fire itself! I leapt back up to feet and threw my hips up and through the air with a jerk of my shoulders, slamming my assaulted flank and limb into a tree trunk with a rotten crunch, chips of myself and strips of bark flaking off violently under the force of the impact. I've rolled, I've ground the burning spot into the dirt, I've tried to slam the stuff off, nothing works yet. The pain though, as a human I had never had to deal with quite this level of sharp pain. My ability to think rationally was rapidly dwindling as the pain kept climbing in sharpness and intensity. Why not just rip it off? It's only wood after all. So I did.. I wrenched my head around, snapping my jaws down on the offending leg, sharp thorn teeth digging into and splintering the wood of it. More pain, sharp and tearing pain joining the burning sensation, but was a welcome distraction as I dug my bite in and pulled. I felt tendrils and stems of some fibrous plants between the wood of my leg stretch and tear under my pull. It took me two tries before I was able to finally wrench my own leg off and toss it across the dirt clearing, my pain instantly gone. I stood there, my rear falling to the dirt as I held myself up on my front legs staring at the now severed limb. I watched as the wood and plant fibers of my limb began to crumble in upon itself, as if aging rapidly. I narrowed my gaze and dragged myself over to sniff it once, pulling my snout back as I recognized the smell too quickly. Stump Remover. The Zebra had dumped Magical Stump Remover on me. I've been in Equestria less than a day, and a rhyming zebra had nearly murdered me with gods thrice damned magical stump remover! I turned my head to the hut and let out a series of harsh barks, my thorn fangs falling out before the stump remover on them could rot up into my head, new thorns already growing in. I could see her staring back out at me in fear before I let my barks loose, and snarled at her to drive the point home as I pushed myself up onto my three legs and carefully hobbled out of the clearing and back into the underbrush of what I now recognized as the Everfree. ' Forget that, stupid ponies scare too easily.'