Spike, coming into his youth, begins to see outside of his youthful innocence and decides to pursue a new adventure.
Update: This story is being rewritten after long contemplation. I apologize, but I feel as though this story has made a few wrong turns in the creative process I shouldn't have permitted in a lighthearted romance narrative.
Spike is a dragon, currently in the height of his youth. He lives with a princess, works with the love of his life, and he couldn't ask for more. Well, actually, he could. A lot more. As his life begins to change, Spike finds that everything around him does as well, and he's damn set on finding out a better path to follow.
"Oh, Spike, darling, could you pass the cyan ribbon for me?"
"Sure thing, Rarity!"
Spike ran up and grabbed the ribbon off of a faraway tabletop.
"Sweetie, that's blue."
The dragon looked at the object and tried to lift another one.
"That's teal."
He began to glance over at her.
"Uh...okay..."
He looked at the blue ribbons in front of him. With his aged draconic sight, he could completely impress the girl of his dreams...but, there was a problem; they're still all the same, no matter how hard he stared metaphorical plasma beams into them. Sighing, he picked one up again by random, waiting for the confirmation of his incorrect presumption.
"Thank you~!"
Wait, he did it! Yes! He impressed Rarity and won her heart! By giving her a ribbon! He grinned smugly as she continued her work thanks to him.
Spike had been doing the 9 to 5 with Rarity for a while now, to the point where they've grown into quite a pair of friends. Of course, there was still the lingering affection, but after quite an experienced amount of time, they learned to work around and alongside it. Spike was entirely pleased about it.
Yeah, no, that was sarcasm. He hasn't been happy about it at all.
See, up until two weeks ago, Spike began to have a sort of second voice in his head, with a certain quirk of giving an entirely different view on it. Just a few days in the past, he was encountered by his...sister? Mother? No idea.
"Spike, I need you to send out some papers."
"Alright."
As Spike picked them up, this new voice came into his mind:
What if i didn't?
The thought was interesting, then alarming. What IF he didn't? I mean, he had a bunch of stuff he could do other than send letters all day. For example, this ball right in front of him. Spike picked it up and bounced it up, then kicked it along the wall. It recoiled back for him to kick it again, and the process continued until it scaled all the way up the castle wall. For the finale, he ran up and falcon punched it all the way up. It flew and flew, until an incredible thing happened-- it bounced off five different branches of the chandelier, along three bookcases, and just in the right spot for Spike to bicycle kick it into his hands.
His hands flew up, then went at an angle to double point at Twilight.
"OHHHHHHHHHH! DID YOU SEE THAT?"
He ran around in circles, most of the time doing midair backflips and finishing by standing over the ball, and what, in another universe, would be called 'teabagging'.
Twilight was absolutely stunned, but her shock shifted to anger.
"Excellent job, big guy. How about those letters I told you to send AN HOUR AGO?"
Spike the Dragon's incredible debauchery ceased immediately. Had it actually been an hour of doing these sick kicks? His eyes fell upon the letters with an inexcusable ball-shaped dent in them. A burst of green fire fell upon them, sending them into different patrons across the otherwise populated nation.
"They got sent. No worries, fam."
"What did you call me?"
"Nothing."
Spike then left the castle, leaving Twilight in a state of disarray.
As his mental flashback ended, Spike looked up at Rarity. He was somewhat irritated at his attempts to get with her failing all the time; he had decided to go ahead and talk to her about it.
"As it seems, Spikey-wikey, I have finally finished the last dress of the day!"
"That's great! But, uh, can I talk to you for a second?"
"Certainly."
The pair sat down on a set of couches. They were extremely comfy, as Rarity had a keen eye for her design and choice. That was another reason Spike had a raging fire deep down in his heart for her.
"What did you want to talk about?"
"Well..."
How could he even put this? There was no real way to do this without making it sounds awkward.
"...us?"
"What about 'us'?"
"No, like, about us together. I'm not sure how deep it...like, 'goes'."
Rarity put a hoof to her chin and began to lean in close. Oh jeez, is she going for it? Spike began to swallow his fear and steel himself for the incoming romance. This went better than he thought, actu--
"Are you asking for a salary, Spikey?"
What.
"What."
"Oh, it's no big deal! A growing dragon needs something to support himself."
"That wasn't what I meant."
"Wait...does that mean you want to work full time?"
"No, that's not--"
"Spike, you should have said so!"
"Rari--"
"My Canterlot store needs more applicants anyway."
"Hold up--"
"I should go and tell Twilight right away, unless you want to--"
"I LOVE YOU!"
Spike took a hard breath. After so many attempts, he figured he might as well have driven the point into her before he worked ten hours a day. However, as he looked at Rarity, he found not any source of shock or approval...just...disappointment. Disgust, almost. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it soon after. He saw a blue aura grip the handle of the door.
"Spike, I think you should leave."
That's when Spike, the dragon who saved entire empires from certain doom, realized that he F'd up.
His removal was pretty swift. Rarity slammed the door the second he stepped outside. Cold, alone, and somewhat afraid, a pit fell into his stomach. How could he face Twilight, or anypony, for that matter, after that? He really couldn't. Spike walked off into the street, with only the light from nearby houses to guide him home.
Twilight wrapped the totally-not-sobbing dragon in her magic field and gave him a hug.
"Tell me everything that happened."
"Sh-she-she-she doesn't l-like me..."
The purple pony princess sighed. She knew, eventually, the day would come where Rarity would deny his appreciation and love for her, but holy shit, Rares, how about you take a second to chill your back red fountain before giving you this purple sphere of tears and broken dreams?
"Oh, Spike, I didn't know how to tell you, but a relationship between a pony and dragon just wo--"
The dragon pushed back, splitting apart the hug faster than it took to create.
"No! It's not even about the love thing! It's the fact that she just doesn't care at ALL about me! I'm pretty sure I could replace her welcome mat with my body, and she wouldn't even notice!"
Spike stormed upstairs, denying the protest of the alicorn, and slammed the door. He was alone in his room, once again. Issues of Power Ponies long forgotten were swept up and neatly stacked into a large suitcase. He was sick and tired of it all. No more Rarity. No more being shielded by Twilight. No more chores or unnecessary work; I pick my own god damn path now.
Spike finally came downstairs, interrupting a conversation between Twilight and a now deeply saddened Rarity. Rain still swept across the windows, leaving a somber mood to everyone involved. When Rarity saw the suitcase, she gasped, but Twilight simply looked hurt.
"Spike...what are you doing?"
His nostrils flared as if it was an insult to even ask the question.
"I'm sick of being some sidekick comic relief built to make your lives easier. I'm out. Bailing. Abandoning the thread. Purging the infidels. DONE."
And with that, he opened the door, with both of the ponies yelling not to leave behind him. His response was to slam the door.
"Alright, Spike-- time for an adventure."
His thoughts of bravery and triumph were interrupted by the cold splash of rain...right. He hadn't considered shelter. Or food. Or a source of income. The weight of his most recent choices began to hit him like a ton of bricks. He was alone. No support at all now, and Twilight would be so mad, she wouldn't take him back. She'd lock him up, banish him, or even lock him up in the place--
No. He couldn't think about such trivial things like that. He needed to find a place to lay low for a bit.
Sweet Apple Acres? Nah, Applejack would rat him out. Honesty and all that.
Fluttershy's Cottage? She wouldn't bear to hide him, and her house smells like bear crap anyways.
Cloudominium? He can't exactly walk on clouds.
Carousel Bou-- NO.
That left...well, it left Sugarcube Corner, but it was a business. Spike sighed; he would have to sleep in the back of it, under a dumpster or something. As he walked, he took a moment to admire how utterly screwed he was, and how little sense his metal plotline made. Why would he leave his house just because a pony (who looks more like a marshmallow, to be honest) said she didn't feel the same way? Somehow, though, he knew this was for the better. Where would he be if he sat there doing chores for Twilight all his life? Nowhere, that's where.
Just as he was satisfied, his luck turned towards the better-- in the back of Sugarcube was, indeed, a ceiling platform of cardboard. He grinned as he found an abandoned blanket inside it as well. As Spike lied down, he thought everything could get better from here, and dozed off to sleep...
And was swiftly kicked in the stomach. He woke up with a pained grunt; it was even later into the night, probably midnight or such. In front of him was a familiar small orange filly with a deep purple mane.
"Dude, not cool. I only left for like two hours."
"S-Scootaloo? What are you doing around..."
Spike began to connect the dots; an "abandoned" blanket and box fortress in decent condition? He was an idiot.
"Oh...sorry. I guess I just thought nobody...you know...lived here."
"Gee, thanks. Mind getting out of my house now?"
Spike stopped himself from giving Scootaloo a sick burn on what a house qualifies as and tried to explain his situation. As she listened, Scootaloo began to nod as her bored expression turned into one of sadness, until her nods slowed down to a crawl.
"Spike...I can't believe you felt that way."
He snorted, a small burst of smoke exiting. "Well, I did. Since you're so kind to understand, I'll leave now."
"No, no!" Scootaloo burst out a bit too quickly. "You can stay here...with me...oh, jeez, that sounds kind of weird."
"This whole situation is weird." Both of them laughed for a second as Scootaloo shuffled up, connecting to Spike's belly and closing her eyes. On the opposite end, the dragon's eyes widened.
"Uh..."
"What? Never heard of spooning before?"
"It's not that, I've just never done it with anyone except Twilight when I had nightmares. And, uh, you're kinda on my body."
"Well yeah, that's how it works."
"No, I mean ON my BODY."
"Wh...oh, OH."
After slight positioning, the pair finally laid down in a more comfortable and non-revealing spot.
"Night, Spike."
"Night, Scoots."
And with that, they dozed off into the midst of the night.
Spike and Scootaloo had no idea how it really happened; the theory was that at one point, Scootaloo turned over in her sleep, Spike instinctively held on to her, and by the time they woke up, their tongues were in each other's mouths. Either way, they went with it, and after a few minutes, Spike had to break the slip-and-slide of saliva to take a breath.
"That was..." Scootaloo looked away, looking more red than she was orange.
"Yeah." Spike was just looking at the pressed down fur on her chest; he couldn't even bear to look at her face.
It was incredibly silent in the makeshift half-room. Then they looked at each other, and even the breathing in the background stopped. Then she pulled him even closer, their mouths mashing again in unorganized chaos. Spike couldn't help but laugh in between the momentary moans that the filly was experiencing.
"Well, looks like somebody wants this."
Scootaloo nodded quickly, slipping her right front and back legs over.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"Getting on top, dummy!"
"Uh...don't you think that'd be a bit awkward?" She responded with a kiss on his nose and taking a rough, low grind of their chests together.
"If this is awkward, then I want it to be as awkward as possible~"
Spike was absolutely speechless by her intimate skill, but an urging fire inside egged him on, and without a single thought saying no, he kissed back, and so did she, and the night became a bit brighter as the rain began to slow.
Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
Everything was going so well-- we woke up together, dug up a couple bits, and walked to the front of the building unnoticed. When we sat down, things were fine, but then Pinkie "open wide" Pie had to come over and make both of us spit our coffees out. The party horse managed to pull napkins out of her demon magic hair and wipe it all up in seconds.
"W-What?" Scootaloo actually looked like her coat turned colors; I felt kinda bad, actually. Imagine losing your family, house, money, then all of a sudden your virginity and dignity in one single nuclear cart crash.
Actually, Virginity Dignity sounds like a kickass album. I'd so buy that.
Back to the point-- I sit here and look up at Pinkie "whoops, I don't have any money to pay, pizza guy" Pie, who's sitting there grinning like she just figured out how to snort sugar up her uncharted crevices.
"Pinkers, I don't think that's any of your business."
"Sure it is! Also, it's Pinkie."
"Plinko."
"Pinkie."
"Ponka."
"PINKIE."
"Minka."
"PINKIE."
"Panko."
"PINKIE!"
"..."
I waited for the penultimate moment. Everybody eats that up for breakfast, after all, if I could ever get Pinkie "the backdoor is always open" Pie out of my damn face, but then Scootaloo interrupts me.
"Pinkie the Piggie."
And just like that, it was over. The horse dropped to her knees in such absolute fire, I almost felt steel beams melt directly off of jet fuel. It was that incredible. The Pink had been stinked. The war was over. Unfortunately, she started crying and ran into the back room, meaning...
"Hey Scoots? Now we ran out of bottomless pancakes."
"Oh. Damn."
"That was still an incredible roast, though, just--"
"No batter to cook it on?"
"Yeah."
Scootaloo began to think. "Oh wait-- Applejack always has pancakes made this time in the morning!"
Now that was when I jumped up. "Shit, yeah! PAN-CAKE-RAID! PAN-CAKE-RAID!"
The adorable fuel began to join in the chant. Today was not a day to meddle in puny horses, inhaling illegal substances through unspeakable methods-- it was time to have a true adventure! With pancakes!
~One Sudden POV Switch Later~
"APPLEJACK!"
The entire family, consisting of Applejack, Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, and good old should-be-in-the-ground-by-now Granny Smith, all turned to find an interesting sight; Scootaloo was riding on Spike's back, her wings pushing the torque of the scooter that Spike was, admittedly, completely terrible at. Both of them were wearing mud as facepaint and a small stick was in Spike's claw, but a small pebble got in the way of their warpath, sending them topping down into the pig's area, where they were promptly covered in mud. As the farm pony came to help, the same stick made by Noble Warrior and Slayer of Fillies Spike the Brave and Glorious (as he titled himself) exited the pool of filth; soon after, Scootaloo rose as well.
"We have come for your breakfast produce, nomad of orange!"
"Yeah, what he said!"
Applejack was utterly frozen for a few seconds, right before bursting into tears on the spot with unstoppable laughter. Scootaloo had to interrupt soon after.
"Uh...so...food, please?"
The pancakes were absolutely delicious, with coatings of blueberry, strawberry, chocolate, and huge platter-sized dollops of whipped cream. Not even half of them were gone by the time everypony was absolutely stuffed, with Spike and Scootaloo being incredibly thankful for the otherwise unnecessary help. Absolutely nothing could ruin this moment; that is, until Apple Bloom decided to strike up a conversation.
"So, Spike, Ah guess ya' got everything worked out?"
Spike looked up from the table. 'Worked out'? There wasn't anything wrong with his lack of muscles, and there surely weren't any problems with him as far as he was aware. Unless...no, she couldn't possibly manage to say the one nuclear comment that would ruin this entire moment. But, Spike was sure taking the completely nonchalant idiot path wouldn't possibly endanger everypony's sanity.
"Whatever do you mean?"
Apple Bloom frowned. "Well, i o'erheard a conversation with Twilight and Applejack that you ran away from Pon-- oh."
THAT'S IT, FOLKS. PACK IT UP. IT'S ALL OVER NOW.
Big Mac and Granny Smith had just remembered very important events they had to do on 123 "Anywhere But Here" Avenue. Applejack was just staring at Apple Bloom like she had just bombed Zebrica, and worst of all, Scootaloo slowly rotated her body to look at Spike, who was simply looking towards the ceiling now, not even wanting to control the damage that had been done. He'd let this one grow to the maximum height.
Spike's mind wasn't filled with anger, hyped up panic, or even smug anime grins. His entire emotional spectrum went pure white; he was at peace now, for soon, his head would be on a pole and the rest of his body incinerated by the mighty force of karma itself. However, he had taken a moment to enjoy this ceiling; it was an incredibly nice ceiling. This ceiling had connected to Spike; it was tore down by it's family and friends, too, and rebuilt to a brand new form. Yes, truly, the old yellowish green ceiling could not match the beauty of this completely identical somewhat lime ceiling, as it had not related to the suffering that this ceiling was born out of. Oh, wait, Scootaloo's yelling at you, bud. You should probably take a listen, in the rare chance that she paraphrases at the end of her tantrum.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Scootaloo pounded a hoof at Spike, who finally looked towards her with a minuscule tilt of a smile. "I TRUSTED YOU NEXT TO ME! I HAD YOU! I...I..." Tears were starting to stream down her face. "I loved you..."
Spike looked to the side at the Apple sisters. Apple Bloom was almost crying from the eruption she caused. Applejack was just looking on with widened eyes, catching Spike's glance and simply nodding. The nod was enough to break him out of his meditated stupor; he needed to do something, ANYTHING, to get out of this situation, and just with that, it clicked. Everything fell into place, and his mental state was completely powered with the greatest answer he's ever come up with ever; he had to lie, more than he ever had than his life, right in front of the Element of Honesty, and it needed to be GOOD, or he was 100% no satisfaction guaranteed fu--
"WELL?" She was waiting.
"...You see, Scootaloo, it was the mules."
The entire room went silent. The orange filly was shocked.
"What?"
"The mules. They did it all."
Apple Bloom decided to pop in. "How did mules make you move out of your own house?"
"Watermelon." Spike was beginning to sweat bullets.
"...I...KNEW IT!" Scootaloo pounded the table, the long abandoned pancakes bouncing once again. "THOSE DIRTY MULES! COME ON, APPLE BLOOM!"
With a gallop, both of the fillies were out of the door. Spike sighed; thank Celestia for the mule strategy to once again never fail. A single cough, however, made him turn to Applejack.
"So ya' made my sister a racist."
"...No, you see, the mu--"
"Spahke."
"Alright, sorry."
Applejack sighed. "Well, ya' know Ah can't let ya' stay here, and Ah gotta tell Twilight that I saw you stop by. Honesty and all that."
Spike doubled that sigh. "Yeah."
As he closed his eyes, he heard the door being pushed open. "Run."
The dragon peeked to see the farm pony waving him out the door. "W-what?"
"Ah can't turn ya' in if ya' ran away, now can Ah?"
Spike jumped up and ran out the door, catching her hint. "Thank you thank you thaaaank youuuu!"
The orange pony sighed and walked into the next room to find Big Macintosh and Granny Smith around the corner.
"Come on, Big Mac, we gotta stop them from going mule hunting."
Spike had ran across the fields, over the fence, straight through downtown, and all the way into the notorious Red Light District; in case you didn't figure it out by context clues because you're an illiterate knob, the Red Light District is nothing but a bunch of broken down homes for clubs and pubs. So, with incredible luck and finesse, who better to stumble into other than Rainbow Dash.
"Hey kid! Jeez, you look like you just got out of a marathon."
"With all due respect, Skittles Bag, shut the fuck up and buy me a drink."
Was he too forward? Her mouth is just kinda hanging open. Yeesh, what a jaw. Spike saw why all the colts wanted to explore the inner sanctums of her throat. She tried to regain her composure, only to stare at the ground for a solid few seconds.
"Did...something happen to you?"
"Well, I admitted my love to Rarity, got rejected, ran away from home, got laid in a homeless kid's cardboard castle, tried to invade Sweet Apple Acres for food, started a race war, and ran away from the almighty Princess of Assholery. Frankly, Ms. Dash, yesterday and today have not exactly treated me peachy keen."
A moment of silence passed between the two. Rainbow finally glanced upwards to find Spike looking out into the distance.
"Yeah, you need a drink. Come on, stud."
Berry's Punch is a totally original name made by Alcoholics Anonymous' biggest fan, Berry Punch. As much as she's tried to stay sober, she can't help but dipping into her own barrels, then chugging, then bringing five colts into the back for a great time. Spike couldn't help but giggle at the thought of her passing out in puddles of several different liquids.
"Gimme another one."
Another appletini slides across the table to Spike. Berry Punch, however, stumbles out of the back.
"Heyyyy, big boy~, wanna come into the back room and turn my brains into mush?"
Spike stares into the eyes of the beholder for quite a while.
"I think there's only so many STD's I can catch in a day, hun."
"SPIKE!"
Rainbow Dash flies into the dragon-- yes, into him, scales and all-- somehow ignoring the pain. Spike, however, collides into the edge of the shoddy front bar.
"If this is about anything less than the end of the universe as we know it--"
"Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity are about to walk in."
The response wasn't quite in dialogue; instead, it was simply the sight of a purple blur rushing out the back and a spinning barstool. Just as soon as he left, the door was opened by three well-kept ponies, turning every head in the room. A single quite 'buzzed' colt walked up to the group, now joined by the blackout drunk Rainbow Dash.
"Would any of you ladies like to--"
As Spike leaped from a box to a rain gutter, climbing up top the ceiling, he heard a definitive zap of electricity. Turns out taser spells do exist in the magic arsenal.
"Shit. It's one on four, bases lined. Any second, I could be found. Think, Spike, your journey can't end here..."
He felt the pitter-patter of rain graze his scales. The drops began to increase in power and volume, giving an ambiance to the current situation. He heard Applejack's voice below.
"He couldn't have run off far!"
"I say, darling, the weather outside is dreadful!"
"Can't we just settle this over some cider?"
The kid was sweating bullets. The tension was high as the three started to bicker, and the chances of having a perfect stealth job were dwindling. He waited a few seconds, then glanced down again.
Applejack was walking around the building, clockwise, at a decent pace. Rarity was going counter-clockwise, but seemed to have trouble with the mud, making her much slower. It would buy him an extra few seconds. Rainbow Dash was a problem-- she soared upwards, looking down in the alleyways to try and find her new drinking buddy. Spike had to hide behind a chimney for that one; her drunken state and vision being impaired by the rain would benefit highly in his favor.
But...he could have sworn there was another one.
A crack of lightning lit the sky, flashing a dark magenta outline. Spike knew where she was. She knew where Spike was. His next moves had to be precise, so he analyzed every tiny detail; the broken branches littering the battlefield. Pulled out, shattered ceiling tiles. A single, thin metal pipe, easily a few feet high. A sewer cover pulled open for the incoming storm.
"Spike the Dragon! You are coming out from behind that chimney and going straight home right now!"
3.
"Applejack, Rainbow Dash! Get up here and help me out!"
2.
"Ah got you, Twilight!"
"Let's just go back inside, guys!"
1.
"We have you surrounded, Sp--"
An array of sharp tiles were thrown, spinning straight towards Twilight and her friends. Blasts of purple magic confirmed that she had obliterated every target flawlessly, giving Spike just enough time to grab a large wooden stick and the metal pole.
"aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Spike swung the branch to the side, Twilight teleporting out of range. Applejack, however, had not been so fast, slamming into her torso and knocking her back a few feet. The sloshing of water confirmed she had slipped and fallen. One down.
Rainbow Dash had finally landed on the opposite side of Spike, ready to pounce. Twilight began to charge her spell, wisps of snow and ice beginning to form around her. Instead of a direct action, the dragon had bought time, throwing the stick at the moment his mentor cast a ray of ice, freezing the stick itself in place. The cyan pony had pounced, but Spike rolled off the top of the roof, making her crash into an array of splinters and icicles. Two down.
With the minions down, Spike had one shot. There was no possible way he could fight Twilight in the state he was in now, but in drunken fury, he lodged the metal pole in between the rain gutter and the tiles, pole vaulting himself into the air. He heard the whistle of another magic bolt, but it just barely missed. Spike had straightened himself out, landing right into the sewer tunnel and out of their range.
By the time Twilight had ran to the edge of the ceiling, she had lost any sight of her target.
"SPIKE! Spike...Spike?"
Rarity had run to the front, flipping around and noticing her friend's cries, Applejack's bruised form, and an unconscious Rainbow Dash-- from alcohol or the attack, nobody will ever know. Probably both, though.
Spike had exited the sewer pipe, his B.O. covered in an unspeakable stench. Immediately after, he threw himself into the closest pond to wash away his sins.
"Blblblblblbl. Good? Good."
A few things were noticeable. One, he was in the Everfree Forest-- which is a problem, because, you know, there are several dozen Lovecraftian horrors ready to fucking kill him at any moment. Two, he couldn't actually see Ponyville at all; just a giant sewer dump placed right in the forest's river system. Wait...
"Why are we dumping our urine and feces in the rivers of the Everfree Forest? Maybe that's the reason everything in the trees is pissed at us! I mean, even BIRDS have rights at this point! You can marry a bird. I watched it happen. You think I'm joking? I was the best man at a bird wedding. It was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever seen."
It suddenly hit Spike that he was talking to nobody and probably going insane. He decided to get walking in a random direction. In the dead of early morning, the sun hadn't even rose yet, meaning he had to be extra, extra careful.
Which is exactly when the Timberwolves started howling.
Spike had a pretty decent chance to rush while they weren't listening. The pat-pat-pat of furious footsteps and panting were the only sounds he could hear. He leaped over fallen branches and rocks to keep the pace, but eventually made a sharp turn that he just couldn't keep up. He was on the very edge of a cliff. When the rocks crumbled and hit the bottom, the howl had stopped.
"Shit."
It was a solid minute before a pair of green eyes glowed in the bushes. Then another pair, then two more pairs followed suit.
"Well, this is how I die. Eaten by a tree monster. I can't say it's been fun, but it's better than drowning in horse piss, I guess."
One of the wolves growled, launching themselves at the puny little dragon, knowing there's absolutely nothing he can do to stop them. At the moment this knob was about to get swallowed, a tribal screech had alerted the presence of all the beasts as one of them lost their head in a single chop.
More of them began to pounce as a glistening axe swung wildly, removing limb after limb until the creatures were a pile of firewood. Spike watched in adamant wonder for a while before asking the obvious question.
"Can you do that to me too? Just right down the skull, hard as you can, I'd rather not live the life that I possess."
"I am sorry, my scaly friend, but murder I won't comprehend."
"Oh god damn it, it's a zebraaaaaIIIII mean, there's nothing wrong with that! I have tons of zebra friends, I'm totally joshing you dude."
"...at least your pride you find in solace, despite your racism not going unnoticed."
The hood was removed to reveal Zecora! Wow. Wow this was awkward.
"Heyyyy Zecora, how are...thi--"
"They're fine."
"...right."
The dragon and the zebra walk in silence for a short time.
"I mean, they're just zebra things, right?"
"Oh jeez, dude, sorry chick, sorry not-dude, I didn't mean to offend you--"
"No no no, I totally get it, all I did was save your life and put myself in imminent danger and everything."
"It's not like that! I was just caught up in the heat of the moment, and I was surprised, and--"
"'Oh, I'm Spike and I have tons of zebra friends'! One. You have one zebra friend. And that's me. The rest are ponies because you can't relate to anyone from your actual race."
"...alright. I'll let you have that one. I'm sorry."
"Just get in the house before, Celestia forbid, I steal your watermelons or something."
Spike wandered into the...hut. It was basically a shack in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, let's just be honest with ourselves, but he didn't want to make things even worse. He was bandaged up, cleaned, and given fresh lake water in complete. And total. Silence. It was so incredibly uncomfortable, by the time he was finally ready to leave, they still haven't said a thing.
"Well, uh, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done to help me."
"Twilight and her friends will be here soon. I can't wait to see your body turned maroon."
"...you son of a bi--"
The rustling of leaves was a dead giveaway; he was in the middle of an ambush. Spike had to think quick and fast; he knew the alicorn would be hauling her entire squad at this rate. He started to panic, fire seething from his breath...wait. Fire breath might work!
Applejack, still present with scars, was the first to speak up once all six had surrounded him. "Alright, Spahke. Ya journey is all over."
Pinkie Pie spoke up afterwards. "We're going to throw a 'we just stopped a baby dragon temper tantrum' party when we get home!"
A moment of silence washed over the group, waiting for Spike to respond.
"All this time, you've treated me like absolute garbage, like some slave to command around."
"You've exiled me several times over in order to strengthen your sick, twisted bonds with each other."
"I finally have a chance to turn and run away from it all and live out my own choices."
"Who, in this group, opposes that choice?"
Fluttershy and Rarity had winced, refusing to look at the others. Rainbow Dash had slowed down her flight until she stood still, contemplating the morals of Spike's case. Pinkie Pie tilted her head, much like a cat. Applejack had glanced at the dirt, sighed, and turned back to the drake with understanding and vigor, giving another single nod.
"Spike!"
The group turned around to find Twilight, picking Spike up with his magic.
"Twilight, look, I--"
The only thing Spike felt next was being thrown into a nearby tree. Muffled yells from the others and Twilight had come out afterwards.
Rainbow Dash held the alicorn by the neck. "Twilight, stop! He's just a homeless kid!"
"And look how much some 'homeless kid' has done over the past few days! He deserves to be locked up in the castle and never brought outside agai--"
A large plume of fire had erupted the area, lighting the hut and trees ablaze. Five ponies and a zebra jumped back, watching the area around them burn in green licking flames. In the dead center of it all stood Spike, now 100% fully pissed. In a split second after his onslaught, ready to fight his friends and who he considered family for his rights, he realized something.